Better Wife Better Life

We often hear that love is something that you feel, that you just "know" when you've met the "right" person.  Jake and I offer a different perspective in this final episode of Better Wife Better Life!  We talk about all things related to love and communication in our own life and some of our goals for the future.

How we experience our partner's behaviors and words can very much be influenced by whether we are looking for our partners to mess up or whether we are believing the best about them.

Conflict is rarely about the actual topic and often more about the underlying unmet needs of ourselves and our partners.

All relationships go through some ups and downs.  Learning the art of resiliency can help a couple come out even stronger during the tough times!

Skills of adaptability and flexibility help couples grow closer together and throughout the entire relationship as situations change, people change and life happens!

As we wind down the last few episodes of our podcast, Meredith continues building some of the building blocks for healthy relationships and communication.  She will cover the role of assertiveness and learning how to speak up in today's episode.

Meredith talks briefly about the role of boundaries in dating or marriage relationship.

Can you guess the #1 reason for conflict in a relationship?  It's not money, sex or communication...it's unmet expectations!  Meredith provides examples and practical suggestions for navigating this source of conflict in relationships.

Meredith describes various types of intimacy in relationships and shares encouraging words of how to improve relationships that may be lacking in these areas.

Meredith talks about the Gottman Method principle of Accepting Influence, especially in times of conflict.  It's really important to put the relationship above the individual agendas of each partner.  "Yield to win" is a way of doing this with many different topics that come up in conflict.

We all have our moments of complaining about our partners, but it seems more common to post a meme on social media that's a quick jab at something your partner does or doesn't do!  This isn't helpful and can potentially harm the relationship.

Conflict is normal, even in the healthiest of couples.  But how we manage that conflict is critical.  The masters are quick to engage in repair attempts once a conflict emerges.  

Setting the tone for conflict in a positive way can absolutely make or break the interaction between a couple.  Meredith provides background and practical tips for how to soften your start up when you have conflict with or a complaint about your partner.

Meredith explores a common issue in most relationships - one partner pursues and one partner distances from conflict.

Meredith shares about how relationships can be a wonderful opportunity for connection and also to practice healthy relationship skills like repair attempts and maintaining a 5:1 positive to negative ratio during conflict.

This episode talks about the nuances of having a focus on superficial qualities in a relationship such as placing high importance on physical attraction, specifically related to physical qualities.  Meredith talks about some of the pitfalls of this, research behind it and gives encouragement for diving deeper into the role of attraction in a relationship.

Meredith shares a quick word of encouragement to those who are engaged or about to be engaged to remember that focusing on the relationship is the most important part of engagement, not what size the wedding dress is or how tone arms look in wedding photos.  

Affairs are often much deeper than we realize.  Meredith gives practical tips for ways we can better understand and avoid this as well as hope for those who have experienced this in a relationship.

Meredith shares her own personal experience with making long distance relationship dynamic work with her husband.  Strategies, Gottman tips and some encouragement are shared for those who are curious!

Meredith describes another strength of healthy relationships and that is one of establishing rituals and traditions.  These help us build emotional connection with our partners.

Learn how to stay engaged during conflict in positive ways that help to strengthen the relationship.

Contempt rounds out the last of the 4 Horsemen and we saved the worst for last!  Just being plain ol' mean after losing respect and appreciation of your partner is one of the fastest ways to head to divorce court.  

The emotional disconnect we experience during conflict or difficult conversations can be referred to as stonewalling.  Silent treatment is an extreme form of stonewalling and Meredith goes on to describe other, more subtle, ways this 4 Horsemen style can enter into relationships and do damage.

Defensiveness is another of the 4 Horsemen we've been talking about, so in the episode, Meredith shares more details about what defensiveness looks like and strategies we can use to reduce and eliminate this toxic style of communicating.

In this episode, Meredith goes into more detail of all the different decisions and stressors that can make the holidays feel really tough on a relationship.  With practical guidance for ongoing communication and some compromise strategies, we hope this holiday season is your best one yet for your relationship!

This episode helps distinguish between criticism and a complaint and gives the listener ideas for how to speak up about your needs in a helpful way.

It's a tough pill to swallow sometimes, but we can't wait for others to change before we begin working to improve our relationships.  Change begins with you.  Meredith walks us through this sometimes touchy subject and gives encouragement for how we can have a perspective shift to allow for a more flexible approach to ourselves and others in the improvement of our relationships.

Meredith offers education and examples of 4 styles of negative communication that Drs. Gottman refer to as the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  Learn about criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling and ways to identify these styles in your own relationships.  

Meredith provides details on concepts from Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages.  Learning each other's love languages can be a light bulb moments in relationships if you feel like you keep giving and giving and giving in your relationship and not connecting or not feeling like you receive anything in return.  

Meredith Riddick dives into this introductory episode explaining the need, insight and passion for a podcast that focuses on women who want to improve their relationships.