Podcasts about gottman

This Halloween, Darin turns the spotlight from ghosts and goblins to the real ones that haunt us — the memories, wounds, and traumas stored deep within our bodies and minds. In this cinematic special, he revisits some of the most powerful guests from past SuperLife episodes — Lori Woodley, Kyle Nicolaides, Dr. Aimee Apigian, Jules Schroeder, Maya Raichoora, Dr. Max Butterfield, Dr. Jess Stavale, Dani Fontaine, and Josh Macin — weaving together a spellbinding journey through emotional alchemy, mind-body science, and spiritual restoration. From the fascia to the endocannabinoid system, from visualization to detoxification, Darin explores how healing trauma is not about running from darkness but transmuting it into light. This episode is a hauntingly beautiful reminder that acknowledging our pain can become the path to our deepest purpose. What You'll Learn in This Episode [00:00] Welcome to SuperLife — igniting possibilities for a better, sovereign world [00:00:32] Sponsor: EnergyBits — the most concentrated whole-food nutrition on Earth [00:01:51] Happy Halloween — Darin introduces the real "ghosts" we carry within us [00:02:11] What trauma really is and why it's stored in the body, not just the mind [00:03:29] The science behind stored trauma — how fascia, endocannabinoids, and cells hold the score [00:04:14] Why facing trauma is the path to freedom — transmuting pain into purpose [00:04:50] Revisiting powerful past guests with new insight and wisdom [00:05:09] The integration principle — why real healing must unite mind, body, and biology [00:05:36] Practical techniques you can use today: breathwork, somatic release, visualization [00:05:58] How art and creativity can release stored trauma and regulate emotions [00:06:35] Facing our ghosts: turning pain into our most heroic journey [00:07:04] Guest highlight – Lori Woodley: "Crossing Backwards" and breaking free from autopilot [00:08:24] The exercise that reveals how easily we live on autopilot — and how to disrupt it [00:09:30] Two steps forward: how small, conscious actions shift your entire life [00:11:29] Learning to ask for what you truly need — the root of emotional intelligence [00:12:51] Guest highlight – Kyle Nicolaides: Finding purpose through depression [00:13:12] Depression as initiation — the "dead decade" that led to divine reconnection [00:16:01] Realizing depression isn't the enemy — it's a sacred messenger [00:17:05] The power of reframing suffering as wisdom waiting to be revealed [00:17:30] Guest highlight – Dr. Aimee Apigian: Trauma, biology, and building inner safety [00:18:10] The three layers of trauma repair: mind, body, and biology [00:19:30] Taking responsibility for your healing — no one can regulate you but you [00:20:21] Trauma bonds and projections — how unhealed pain shapes relationships [00:21:15] Guest highlight – Jules Schroeder: Start with the breath [00:21:44] The "Perfect Breath" — 4 seconds in, 6 seconds out through the nose [00:22:27] How 7.5 hours of mindful breathing can reprogram your nervous system [00:23:36] Removing stress before adding more — foundational calm before growth [00:24:07] Sponsor: Our Place Cookware — eliminating toxins from your kitchen [00:27:00] Guest highlight – Maya Raichoora: Visualization as a rewiring tool for trauma [00:27:54] Five visualization techniques: outcome, process, creative, negative, explorative [00:29:18] The neuroscience of imagery — how your body reacts to imagined experience [00:31:38] Lemon exercise — proving your mind and body are one [00:33:13] Using visualization for emotional resilience, performance, and healing [00:34:33] Explorative visualization — channeling creativity like Einstein or Disney [00:35:41] Guest highlight – Dr. Max Butterfield: Emotional regulation and relationships [00:36:10] The Gottman principles — why contempt destroys relationships [00:37:15] Why emotional regulation matters more than compatibility [00:38:02] The modern self-regulation crisis — how disconnection fuels chaos [00:39:01] Guest highlight – Dr. Jess Stavale: Fascia — the body's emotional network [00:39:55] How fascia stores trauma and connects all bodily systems [00:40:45] The fascia as a quantum interface between body and emotion [00:41:33] How to integrate physical and emotional therapy for release [00:43:12] Patreon segment — building sovereignty and community through conscious living [00:44:21] Guest highlight – Dani Fontaine: The endocannabinoid system explained [00:44:45] The ECS as the body's "master balance system" — how it keeps all others aligned [00:45:31] Understanding energy, vibration, and homeostasis [00:46:43] Why overstimulation blocks healing and how to recalibrate [00:47:25] Sound, light, and frequency as inputs for cellular communication [00:48:16] Guest highlight – Josh Macin: Parasites, detox, and terrain theory [00:49:00] The biological link between toxicity, trauma, and emotion [00:50:12] How acidity and chemicals create disease and disconnect [00:52:17] Parasites and the metaphysical mirror — cleansing darkness from within [00:54:27] Annual detox protocols — why cleansing is essential for clarity [00:55:36] Closing reflections — integrating body, mind, and spirit for full release [00:57:20] Darin's final message: healing is sacred, not spooky — the path back to your SuperLife Thank You to Our Sponsors: Our Place: Toxic-free, durable cookware that supports healthy cooking. Use code DARIN for 10% off at fromourplace.com. EnergyBits: Get 20% off your entire order by going to https://energybits.com/ and using code DARIN at checkout. SuperLife Patreon Join the SuperLife Patreon: deeper conversations, extended interviews, wellness challenges, and community connection. https://patreon.com/darinolien/ Connect with Darin Olien: Website: darinolien.com Instagram: @darinolien Book: Fatal Conveniences Platform & Products: superlife.com Key Takeaway "Acknowledging the ghosts within isn't a horror story — it's a homecoming. Trauma isn't here to punish you, it's here to teach you. When you meet it with breath, awareness, and compassion, you stop running from the dark and begin to walk in your light."

In this episode, we'll talk about how marriage isn't just destroyed by the big blowups—but more often by the small, everyday moments when we ignore each other's bids for connection, and how learning to “turn toward” instead of “turn away” can change everything.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Many couples believe that divorce comes from big, explosive issues—infidelity, money problems, or major betrayals. But according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, it's often not the big things that break a marriage. It's the small, everyday moments—missed chances to connect—that slowly build up into bitterness and resentment over time.What Is a “Bid” for Connection?Gottman calls these small moments “bids.” A bid is any attempt from one partner to get attention, affection, affirmation, or support from the other. Bids can be loud or quiet, obvious or subtle.Examples:“How do I look?” (Translation: Can I have your attention?)“Getting the kids to bed is hard.” (Translation: Can I have your help?)A spouse sitting down next to you on the couch. (Translation: Can I be near you?)Whether you notice these bids and how you respond to them will shape the health of your marriage—far more than you might think.The 3 Ways to Respond to a BidEvery time your spouse makes a bid for connection, you have three ways to respond. Over time, your pattern of responses becomes the emotional climate of your relationship.1. Turning TowardThis is the healthy response. When you turn toward a bid, you engage with your partner's attempt to connect. It could be as simple as answering their question, offering a smile, or stopping what you're doing to give them your attention.Example:Spouse: “Look at this funny video.”Turning Toward: “Haha! That's great. Show me another.”What it does: Builds trust, intimacy, and love. Each “turning toward” moment is like a small deposit in the bank account of your marriage.Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”Kind responses create peace and connection.2. Turning AwayThis is the neutral-to-negative response. You ignore the bid, act distracted, or give a half-hearted answer.Example:Spouse: “Can we talk after dinner?”Turning Away: “Uh-huh…” (while scrolling your phone)What it does: Over time, this makes your partner feel invisible or unimportant. They may stop reaching out altogether.Philippians 2:4 – “Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”Marriage thrives when both spouses make each other a priority.3. Turning AgainstThis is the harmful response. You react with sarcasm, criticism, or irritation. It not only ignores the bid, but...

Who knew that there were so many ways we could engage in mental and emotional abusive behaviors.  Because so much of what we do has been modeled after behavior we experienced growing up, we often don't see the hurt and dysfunction in those behaviors. Educating ourselves on healthier behaviors is vital for our growth and progress. Because when we know better, we do better, right?  In this podcast we will explore behaviors we may be engaging in that are harming our relationships and preventing us from having the connections that we ultimately desire.  This is not meant to cause us shame or guilt, but rather to bring awareness to our actions so we can explore the feelings and thought behind them and ultimately clean them up. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #51 The Silent Treatment on Apple on Spotify #61 Charity is the Antidote on Apple on Spotify #75 Emotional Adulthood on Apple on Spotify #96 Understanding the Thought Model on Apple on Spotify #97 Why the Thought Model Matters on Apple on Spotify #189 Patterns of Behavior on Apple on Spotify #190 Protective Walls on Apple on Spotify #191 Why We Seek to Control Others on Apple on Spotify #196 How to Break the Blame/Defense Cycle on Apple on Spotify #211 Why We Do This Work on Apple on Spotify #223 It Really Is All About You on Apple on Spotify #240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior on Apple on Spotify #255 What is Gaslighting on Apple on Spotify #269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify #302 Gottman's Four Horsemen - Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy on Apple on Spotify #307 Curiosity, Not Criticism on Apple on Spotify #329 Five Strategies for a Rotten Marriage on Apple on Spotify #356 How Coaching Changed My Life with Stacey on Apple on Spotify #379 How Coaching Changed My Life with Lisa on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Ready to Take a Peek Behind the Velvet Curtain of Billionaire Dating? In this unmissable episode of The Love Machine, James Preece sits down with Amber Lee and Sandra Myers, the dynamic duo behind Select Date Society—a matchmaking service where memberships reach up to one million dollars! From jaw-dropping tales of jet setters to the surprising struggles of ultra-high-net-worth singles, this episode is full of revelations: Do billionaires really have it all when it comes to love? What's the real deal with “order-taker” dating services versus true matchmaking? And why might money make it harder (not easier!) to find The One? Amber and Sandra spill the secrets on headhunting for hearts, navigating those awkward power dynamics, and the hilarious (and very real!) questions they ask to ensure their clients are truly ready for love. Plus, you'll get a sneak peek into their own matchmaking success stories and why AI isn't about to take their job anytime soon. Curious how the super-rich date—and what we can all learn from their lessons? Tune in for fun, wisdom, and plenty of “wow, really?!” moments. Press play and see love at the highest level! About Amber and Sandra Amber Lee: Amber is a certified matchmaker, enneagram coach, Gottman 7 Principles leader, and strategic intervention coach with a bachelor's degree in business administration. She has been a professional matchmaker since 1998. Amber combines her experience, knowledge, and intuition to help her clients find their perfect match! Sandra Myers: Sandra is a certified Matchmaker with a degree in speech communications and organizational management. Sandra has been a professional matchmaker since 1996. Her ability to quickly read singles and instinctively ascertain the qualities needed to make a great connection, has been the key to her success. Clients love her no nonsense approach, expertise and passion for getting results. WEBSITE

We apologize for the sound! Didn't have our usual mike.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2761: Kara Shade challenges us to distinguish between needs and preferences in dating, revealing how clarity on this distinction can prevent heartbreak and guide us toward stronger, more intentional relationships. Backed by Gottman research and insights from relationship scientists, her piece encourages reflection, flexibility, and honesty, principles that remain just as relevant in long-term partnerships as they are in early dating. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/bending-without-breaking-identify-needs-preferences-dating/ Quotes to ponder: "When people show you who they are, believe them." "Being clear and honest about your needs and asking the tough questions are critical functions of that process." "It's less about what you're doing and more about how you're doing it together." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2761: Kara Shade challenges us to distinguish between needs and preferences in dating, revealing how clarity on this distinction can prevent heartbreak and guide us toward stronger, more intentional relationships. Backed by Gottman research and insights from relationship scientists, her piece encourages reflection, flexibility, and honesty, principles that remain just as relevant in long-term partnerships as they are in early dating. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/bending-without-breaking-identify-needs-preferences-dating/ Quotes to ponder: "When people show you who they are, believe them." "Being clear and honest about your needs and asking the tough questions are critical functions of that process." "It's less about what you're doing and more about how you're doing it together." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Diana  is joined by guest Ken Keys, PhD, President of CRG and an expert on leadership, wellness, and life purpose. They discuss Ken's difficult upbringing, including the trauma experienced by his parents and his own battles with depression and suicidal thoughts. Ken shares his journey to discovering his purpose, the importance of emotional intelligence, and the impact of finding forgivingness and letting go of past trauma. The episode also highlights actionable steps for personal growth and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive and positive influences. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:20 Diana's Personal Update 02:06 Practicing Gratitude 03:40 Introducing Today's Guest: Ken Keys 04:48 Ken Keys' Background and Career Journey 05:53 Ken's Family and Upbringing 08:42 Challenges and Lessons from Dairy Farming 16:20 Ken's Struggles with Depression and Wellness Journey 19:46 Traumatic Experience and Forgiveness 28:20 Family Dynamics and Emotional Growth 30:52 The Decline of Reverence for God 31:13 The Impact of Media on Society 31:54 Personal Reflections on Family and Intimacy 32:36 Journey Back to Faith 33:49 Discovering a New Christian Community 35:01 Embracing Ministry and Leadership 36:37 The Importance of Personal Style in Ministry 38:57 Overcoming Family Expectations 41:27 Judgment and Acceptance in Christian Life 46:27 The Influence of Associations 55:23 Final Thoughts and Actionable Steps www.kenkeis.com/faithful for your free gift   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ EP 7 Guest Ken Keis Living On Purpose [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana . She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hi everybody. How are you guys doing today? I hope you are well. It is a beautiful day outside. Fall isn't even here yet it seems. But my garden. We got to harvest some of our food. We ate some green beans and snap peas and ate some strawberries from my garden. We're just waiting for the tomatoes to ripen. But it's really exciting when you start eating from your own garden, you didn't even think it was going to survive. And with the change of seasons [00:02:00] here, and Thanksgiving is coming up, holidays are coming up. I didn't really do a Thanksgiving podcast, but we want to be thankful. It's hard to be thankful this year, isn't it? Was a huge dumpster fire, and it's probably not all gonna go away you know, January 1st , I'm sure isn't gonna magically disappear, but, um, we have to practice the art of being thankful and grateful for what we have. Make a list, and I know it's hard, just the littlest things that you see during the day. Hey, I have the song on the radio I heard, and it was such a blessing to me. Or like, me, I had a harvest this week. Or, oh, the weather is so beautiful or. My kid got an A on his spelling. Just the little things, just make a [00:03:00] list and go back to those lists. And I'm not one of those positive thinker people. I'm not, I have to work at being positive. I like being around positive people because that lifts me up. My husband is naturally positive and he lifts me up. Right now. He's going through a hard time with his medical stuff and I have to lift him up when I'm having a bad day, he has to lift me up. But we try and practice gratefulness even in the little things. So I hope that encourages you during this holiday. I'm not gonna do a big holiday podcast. Today I have a guest with me today and he's going to talk about, when you feel like, your life doesn't feel like it has meeting you don't have any fulfillment, you're trying to get outta the hole you're in. Maybe you got outta a domestic violence situation and you don't know how to fulfill your [00:04:00] dreams. You don't know how to take that step and work towards your ideal life. Well, this next guest is going to help you do that, to leave the drama behind and find out, which parts of your personality you were born with, which ones you probably need to get rid of, or which ones you can develop further. How you're able to adapt to other people's behavior. Approach your interactions with confidence instead of fear. Find out what makes other people tick. How to handle misunderstandings and defensiveness. How do you handle your triggers? Hey, we've all got drama that we need to leave behind. We wanna move forward, right? So I'm going to read his bio here. Ken Keys PhD President of CRG is a global expert on leadership, wellness, behavioral assessments, and life purpose. [00:05:00] In 28 years, he has conducted over 3000 presentations and invested 10,000 hours. In consulting and coaching. Ken Keys is considered a foremost global authority on the way assessment strategies and processes. Increase and multiply success rates. He's co-created CRGs proprietary development models and has written over 4 million words of content for 40 business training programs and 400 plus articles. His latest book, the Quest for Purpose, a Self-Discovery Process to Find It and Live It. So please welcome Ken Keys. Thanks so much, Ken Keith, for coming on the show. Appreciate it. Well, well it's great to be hanging out with you. Tell us about your self, your upbringing, and your family. Did you come from a [00:06:00] successful family? Well, um, I am a third generation, uh, in Canada. So my grandparents, all four came from Hungary between the first and second World War as immigrants. And then they settled here. I'm about an hour east of Vancouver, Canada, so that's where I make my home. And so I actually grew up on a dairy farm. After uh, high school I went to agricultural college, came back to work on the farm, but pretty well a few months in dad and I were ready to beat each other into a pulp. 'cause we really didn't get along. Both of us wanted to be in charge and dad was kind of of the European mindset, just do what I say. I'll only tell you and criticize you. When you screw up. I'm never going to affirm you or. Do something positive 'cause that might go to your head. Aw. And so I, you know, after a couple of years I left the farm, I went and worked in agricultural fields as first, uh, for the Department of Agriculture. Then as a [00:07:00] feed sales rep, uh, for agriculture company. My diploma is a nutrition and genetics, so I was really a nutritionist to dairy cattle farmers. And then I actually started my own farm across the street. Which was fine, I could do my own thing. And then the late eighties, I got into this industry as a sales trainer. So I bought a franchise in the sales training. I said, what a na natural transition, uh, closed down my dairy farm. And then that was the beginning of this. Now when we're recording this, 32 years later, I said, where did that go? Uh, and, you know, three or four books, the author of 12 psychological assessments presented 3000 times somewhere around the world. Uh, authored 4 million words of content. You know, it's an interesting story and journey. And of course, I'll link in my, uh, face story here in a minute as well. So now this, it is. 32 years doing what I'm doing. And the company that I own was founded in 1979 by a professor at a Christian university. He wanted to create a, uh, create an assessment that was [00:08:00] different, better, more improved than Disc Myers-Briggs true colors, way back in 1979. And so he created the tool, the personal style indicator. I got connected to that company in 1990 and then bought it nearly 20 years ago. So we're now, you know, doing business in 12 languages, 30 countries around the world. And all our tools are built on a Christian worldview view, but we equally serve, you know, like Boeing mm-hmm. Or companies of that nature, or Ford or Chrysler as we do Ministries. And we just say, we're just here to help develop people. And then my purpose in life is to help others to live, lead, and work on purpose and to help them to realize their potential. So that's really been our focus for the last three decades. Well, you talk about the cows and I don't think I've ever milked a cow and well, it is 24 7, and I think that was one of the things that happened. I think, and here's my. Encouragement and challenge for those people that are listening, watching this show today [00:09:00] is I got up one morning with my dairy herd and I asked myself this question, if I was doing this same thing 20 years from now, would that be okay? And I said, no, no, no, no, no. I can't be doing that. And I always knew I was to be a speaker. Even when I was 16, I was speaking in front of groups, MCing groups asked to do that kinda work. Uh, I never thought I would be an author because my grade nine teacher said, well, I wouldn't amount to anything because I couldn't read or write. And it was discovered when I did my master's degree that I was dyslexic. So the invention of the computer when I went to school, I'm young, just to let you know, but when I went to school, there weren't, there weren't computers. The program word wasn't there to help me understand or see the words, uh, words that I was misspelling. And the reality is, is that, so I have mispronounced some words, so what doesn't matter, you know, get over it. And that led me to being a writer, which no way you [00:10:00] would've ever convinced me that was gonna be something that I would do almost more of than any single item in my lifetime. So here we are. And now just really trying to, you know, live his purpose and to help encourage other people to live theirs and to be anchored in that. Wow. Research shows. Diana is that when you're out there and engaging in nature, it actually feeds your soul. It does. So, even the research of kids that live in the countryside are healthier than those mm-hmm. That live in sterile environments in a condo, you know, in a 50 story building. I'm not here to judge you because you live in a condo. I'm just saying the reality is the health stats show that when you're out and about and you're just kind of in nature, your immunity strengthens, but so does your core soul because you're out there with nature and hey, that was designed that way. Absolutely. I think it's kept me sane. I liked being outside. I liked going out there and fussing over [00:11:00] my plants. Well, it's in, it's always interesting me to quote unquote live off the grid. And what I mean by that is just being a property that doesn't require utilities from third parties and things like that. But I'd live close to the town or city. There is a lot of effort and work, and one of the reasons that I did stop dairy farming was the 24 7 obligation, 365 days a year. I mean, you never have a day off in a dairy farmer's environment. Now, I appreciate the values that I learned, tenacity, persistence it doesn't matter what the weather's doing. I remember one time where it was very cold. One February. It was rare for where we live, but all the pipes and everything were frozen. Well, it took me four hours of fighting just to thaw all the pipes out so I could milk my cows. And just going back in the house and watching TV wasn't an option. It had to be done. So no matter, you know, what your personality or personal style is or anything like that, those character [00:12:00] traits were entrenched in me or developed in me in that persistence, uh, growing up. So that, you know, that's part of what I bring into it. I'm not. Mm-hmm. Uh, I was thankful for growing up in that environment, but it wasn't something that I was meant to do going forward. So you mentioned your father, but you also said that your mom, had some abuse in her childhood Hmm. Would you, be willing to elaborate on that? Sure. You know, it's interesting. I grew up in quote unquote a Christian home. Mm-hmm. But it wasn't really because my grandparents were Presbyterian in their background. No judgment. Anybody has that background. I grew up in the Presbyterian church. My brother and I were the youth, so that was, they were the only ones that were attending. But what I didn't see in my family was really the relationship with Christ. Mm. It was a cognitive thing, it was a cerebral thing. It was a duty, but it wasn't really an experience. It wasn't a relationship whatsoever. And of course, later on, I sort of [00:13:00] left the church. I can tell you my spiritual story here in a bit. But as a result of that, my dad was 16 years of age when his dad died of an unknown causes. He was on the farm, so he was forced to quit school in grade eight or nine to take over the farm with his mother. Now, his eldest brother was working off the farm, but also was helping on the farm, and a year later died of an unknown. As well. So here his father dies and then, you know, the next year before he is almost 17, his eldest brother that he looked up to died as well. Oh. And then my grandmother, where I was one of the, I wasn't the eldest male, but in that culture, you know, males just seemed to be, that was important to grandma. So I was the first born in Elst male farm. Grandma was pretty good with me, but she had a critical spirit. And so that spirit then led into my dad. My dad's way of dealing with that trauma was [00:14:00] to say nothing, just really be quiet. Mm-hmm. And the culture, the Hungarian culture also was one of non-emotional. I mean, you didn't share your feelings, you didn't share what was going on. You didn't share your heart. And even though my dad was on the board of the church, an elder. I never saw him pray. I never really see him have this relationship. He believes in God, you know, is he saved? I don't know. I mean, it's hard to know just for the viewers. I'm an ordained pastor now, so, this is kind of a full circle for me. And then my mom, grew up in as an, as a teenager with a father who was abusive when he was drinking. So an adult child of an alcoholic is kind of the process. So he, later on, , he straightened up. However, there was one night, my understanding from the story, I wasn't around yet where grandpa came home and then, was, beating on the kids and grandma got a knife and says, you touch him again, I'll kill you. Mm. And so that was kind of the environment that my mom grew up in. Now, grandpa, [00:15:00] later on when I knew him, I never knew that part of him. He was able to get his binge drinking under control. His English was broken, but we had a great relationship. He passed away sooner, and then grandma was left. Grandma was a critical spirits to my mom. So my mom now as we record, this is 86, going on 87 soon, and, I think she worries for the entire planet. I think her self-worth as far as she still has not processed this value set. So she plays the victim card extensively. And then as far as my environment for my dad, giving compliments, providing compliments just never happened. So he is 88 at the time of recording this and I'm 60. And I do not recall ever him telling me that he loves me. Aw. I just not now, does he? Yes, he does. But to verbally say that I love you just doesn't happen. I could go to his place though. And say, [00:16:00] dad, I need to borrow your truck. I need to borrow tools. Always, yes. Never says no to being helpful, but to be able to have that emotional connection and to articulate it is not something he learned. I think he did the best that he could with what he knew. So same with my mom. So I don't, I'm not bitter with them now. I'm obviously disappointed. But what it led to for me in my teenage years, when I came back from college, so I was 19 years of age, I think when I finished college, I started when I was younger is, I was suicidal. Hmm. So I sat there on the farm, here I'm arguing with my dad. I want to take it over, but he won't include me in any decisions. This is the, it's my way of the highway. There was no relationship per se, it was just a dictatorship. Mm-hmm. And then talking about deeper things that never happened, at home, when I got in some trouble with a girl, in my younger years, I wanted to share that with my mom, and she just started to criticize me. So it told me [00:17:00] never share anything with my mother that I'm dealing with as far as those pieces. So I sat there and I really said, is life really worth it? And for those of you that have been through trauma or whatever, suicide is really calling out, suicide is a hopelessness. It's a mm-hmm. Where you believe in that moment that not being here would be far less painful than being here. And first of all, it's alive, the enemy. So if we think about John 10, 10 is that the enemy comes to, kill, steal, and destroy or whatever that order is, and. And so he wants you to, take your own life because then you know what, your impact for the ministry is not gonna be there. Your impact for others is not gonna be there. Well, obviously I didn't take my life, but I thought about it and I had those components or considerations Later on in life, about a decade later, I was diagnosed asmatic depressive. And so I went on an antidepressant called Lithium, and it was my friend of mine, [00:18:00] actually out of Dallas, Texas. And she was a psychologist and she said, Ken, you're not a depressed person. There's something else biologically going on with you. And so we, I, at my insistence, did a glucose tolerance test, found out I was hypoglycemic. I wasn't depressed at all. Yeah. So what that had to do was around my blood sugar levels. So one of my passions now in life is I love to develop the whole person. And we have 12 assessments in our company from personality, but we also have an assessment on wellness and stress. And as a, I consider myself, a wellness expert. Mm-hmm. Because I don't believe that we need to rely on external people for my health. And so a lot of times people get into trouble where they don't take care of themselves. So mm-hmm. It's very difficult to be alive and functional and be a spiritual, , lion when you are fatigued, when you have no [00:19:00] energy. So, uh, I say fatigue makes cowards of us all. I wasn't the person who said I was another person who had started that. So I started to look at how can I take care of myself? Make sure you get the sleep, make sure for the most part you eat right, that you do things right. A lot of times as individuals, we don't take care of ourselves, and then we wonder why we're lethargic or we can't focus or we can't concentrate. And we do that with our kids. So I, you know, this body is a temple. We have a responsibility to take care of it. So that's why we've been working in all these different areas. And then one other. And then we're talking about trauma. And I haven't, I've only shared this very few times on podcasts and I don't, not that it's a secret. I actually share this story in my book, the Quest for Purpose. Mm-hmm. Which I am actually going to give everybody a copy of this at the end of the show. Right. Wow. So we are gonna be able to give you a free download of that book. But in the book, in 1982, I was actually [00:20:00] dating my high school sweetheart. So it was the person that I took to my prom. She was a couple years younger than me. And on December 13th, 1982 the police officer showed up at my home and said, we'd like to interview Ken. Now I happen to be out in town with my brother at that time, and there wasn't cell phones that we personally had. So when I got that, they said it's very urgent that Ken come to the station as soon as he gets home. I'm curious. I don't know what this is about. I am also nervous. I'm a little bit fearful. I'm having nervous energy and trying to crack jokes when I get to the police department. Yeah. So I get into one of these interview rooms that are just like, the TV says steel chairs, bricks, security, glass. One person in the room, TV cameras recording you. And I say, you know, what's this about? And the officer says, we have a reason to believe that you are, dating or a boyfriend of Carol Ann Repel. And I said, yeah, well that's true. And he said, well, she was murdered last [00:21:00] night. Oh. And so, what are you talking about? And I was one of the second last people to talk to her, and I had been chatting with her on the phone. She was a individual who was gifted and skilled and wanted to be the first female fighter pilot in the Canadian forces. So she was late at night at her employer's location, which was at the airport, and the janitor made a sexual advance to her that went wrong and then beat her to death. Oh, so that's, I'm being interviewed for this. They're asking about it and it came to learn. They didn't know who did it. It was a mystery for months, but they had their suspicions, but they had no proof. And eventually they, charged somebody who I knew, he had been hired as a security guard for some youth group work that we had done. At that moment, that day, I went to work. I said, I'm like, I was complete denial. Just [00:22:00] what is going on on this thing? She was 22 years of age, Diana. Mm-hmm. Maybe going on to 23. So we've all had our situations or stories. It took me years later where I did a process, called emotional freedom Technique. You can agree with it or not, but it was a Christian who created it. I was drenched in sweat, just processing all the. Emotional sort of luggage and baggage that came out of that stuff through the process we did. It was, you just call it very, very intense counseling, if you wanna call it that. And, so we, but I still needed to kind of move forward. I was thankful for the relationship with her. I was angry, upset, but certainly in denial for not months but years, because of that event and when it occurred. There. And then being a person of interest is, has its own dynamics. Oh, so they thought it might have been you? Well, there was that consideration. Now I had a, alibi. I was actually with my parents that night when this [00:23:00] occurred. So that, I mean, I lived alone. I was a single guy, so it was just happenstance, the Holy Spirit protecting me mm-hmm. From any kinda suspicions. But really they were trying to figure out who did it. And I was a witness to, that by being one of the last people to talk to her alive. Hmm. And now, you know, when we're recording, this is many, many years later, almost 40 years later, uh, but still it has sort of an emotional tag that goes with that. So all of us have had things that happen. My encouragement is, is no matter what, because I mean, you're in your podcast trying to help people go through trauma. You always have a choice about what you're gonna do with it. And as a trained counselor. A lot of times in the past, counseling was always about processing your past. I disagree with that. Is that we need to look to our future. Mm-hmm. You know, Carolyn Lee's research on, you know, you know who turned on, who switch off your brain and switch on your brain. Her [00:24:00] books really talks about what you focus on. Gets more on more of it. So if I go in counseling and just relive the event and relive the event and relive the event, well I haven't moved you forward. Forward. So I'm not denying its issues or what's going on or that it happened, I'm just denying it's hold in your future. So this is around forgiveness. I had to forgive the guy who killed her. Mm-hmm. Because, uh, you know, the old story, everybody has heard this, if you've been in any front of any servant, is that unforgiveness is like you taking the poison and wanting the other person to live. Right. We've all heard that. Yes. Well, we just need to be reminded of that to, I wasn't obviously agreeing with the heinous act. He did, but I had to forgive him so that I would be free in that his heinous act wouldn't be affecting me, plus my family and everybody else around me as well. So, uh, I don't think you knew that story was coming, Diana. Actually, I did. I [00:25:00] read your blog. Oh, you did? You did. Oh, well, you're one of the few. So, uh, and when I do my normal podcast, I don't mention this for very often, but you know, the Holy Spirit has lifted me up, been there beside me in that. It's not him who did this. You know, I can rely on him to be able to kind of build me up. And in fact, I have to, I mean, if we're going through life, we're just gonna have stuff happen. Mm-hmm. It's just part of the dynamic of living in a broken world. Yeah. It definitely is a fallen world. Yeah. I'll swing around back to what you said about forgiveness. Did the, murderer, go to prison or did he think of that? Yeah, he was eventually caught. What they did is they knew who he was, but they didn't, you know, DNA was kind of, just in its infancy stages then in 1982. So, what they did is they set up a sting operation and then they had somebody, you know, where people wear wire and they're recording what's being [00:26:00] said. There was some, someone in his life that he had semi revealed that he was involved with this. And so they knew that, but they couldn't prove anything. So then they set up this sting and then it went from there. And then once he sort of confessed in this, sting operation with this person, then it went to downhill from there. Yes, he was, I think his time, I think he's like in life, in prison for life. So was it easier to forgive that you saw some justice for your girlfriend, or did that not really matter? It's so long ago. I'm not sure if I recall if I was thinking either way, but mm-hmm. But I think finding the person who did it was important just for safety matters. Mm-hmm. And curiosity and just, you know, who was it that did this? I, knowing the person to a certain degree, I mean, because we had hired him and had interactions with him. He wasn't a hundred [00:27:00] percent there, if you know what I mean. Oh, okay. Just so, I don't wanna use the word simple, but I use the word just not a hundred percent. You know, the elevator didn't go a hundred percent to the top. And I think it was not planned. I believe that it was just a sexual advance go bad, and he went to a point of no return, that she's gonna say something, I'm gonna get into trouble. And the only way to stop this is to end her life. Mm-hmm. And I believe that's what occurred and what happened. So he was single, he was in his thirties. Mm-hmm. Uh, and you know, a lot of sexual predators are kind of in that category. I don't know if he was or wasn't. I don't know. And there was no other charges in other parts of his life. But that's kind of how that unfolded. Ian, you know, at this point, I'm obviously very, very sad. She was an amazing girl. And being my grad prom date had sort of a. Not sort of had a significance sort of in my history, in my life as well, but I was just thankful that justice was [00:28:00] done and those things were discovered. And I'm just saying to those people at watch who are listening, that, you know, no matter what happens, we have these choices to be able to move to the next level. I mean, I'm thankful Diana, for your ministry and Ministries like you that help people to kind of bridge that gap from where they are to where they need to do or some of the work that we do as well. So, you know, example is my parents, my mom mm-hmm. Still has not processed this adult child of alcoholic. Her behavior is around it. Mm-hmm. In interesting enough, my sister who is in her fifties, and I hopefully she doesn't watch this, is you know, some of the tendencies are there too. Like, I know my parents won't watch it. But you know, if one of my family members watch it, is that, that worry side, that anxiety side that gets passed down? Yes. Now and obviously my depression side came out of that family dynamic. Mm-hmm. And then with my dad, never saying, never having a compliment. I think he just emotionally was unable to do it. Mm-hmm. Now, what's [00:29:00] really fun is my kids are 25 and 24 now, and they're very developed and skilled individuals. My wife Brenda, is a school teacher, so we're both in the professional development fields. Mm-hmm. And for their age. The kids are amazing. Of course, parents are biased about this, but they really mess with grandpa and grandma now. Oh. So my daughter will go in there, grandpa, we really, really, really love you. We really do. Just waiting to see if he'll say anything. And then he'll go, so he'll mumble and then he'll kind of be embarrassed. He'll look down. And it's not that he doesn't have any emotions, but the kids kind of know that. And they just, because grandparents can't mess with their grandkids that way. And then my son will do the same thing with them. And so from that point of view, we've just loved on them, accepting them for where they're at. I feel badly for them that they haven't been able to brace everything that they could. You know, when we're in the stressful situation, we are in the world right now. They have just taken the [00:30:00] worry of the whole world upon their shoulders. Right? You know, God's very clear in his word. Fear is from the enemy. Mm-hmm. You know, it doesn't mean stupid, but there's not one scripture that I'm aware of unless you want to correct me, Diana, that says, you know what? Being fearful a little bit's. Okay. Everything is fear. Not Well, you know, God says, he gives you fear so you don't jump off the edge of a cliff or, bungee jump off of Well, I have bungee jump, but I hear what you're saying is that, that fight or flight, yeah. That's a healthy fear. It keeps you from doing something really stupid. Mm-hmm. But, and then when we get into the scripture, you know, fear fear of the Lord is really a reverence for 'em if you get into the Greek and the Hebrew. Mm-hmm. Is that it's reverence for them and it's honoring of them. And in that's part of the problem in the global society right now. There's no fear of him. There's no reverence for God anymore. No. And so it's a godless society in many ways. That's why people are acting out when you take [00:31:00] God out, then you get these situations where people are spiritualists and they really are acting on their own. And the enemy is controlling them. Mm-hmm. Exactly. And their flesh. Yeah. Well, for sure. And if it's not modeled for you and we teach that in our development factors model that as an observer, as a child of the relationships around you, that's all you know to do. Yeah. And of course we think that life is around social media, that it's around podcasts like this, but there was none of that. Mm-hmm. Back 50, 60 years ago. And in fact, the TV was just even coming in and some of the examples there, and most of the examples were way more wholesome. Yeah. And loving back then. I think the. The most amount of violence was on gun smoke. Uh, I love that show. Of course. I mean, those of us that are older, remember that one? That was great. So part of what, you know, I wanna encourage the listeners [00:32:00] is, people do the best that they can with what they know. My mom has told me that she loves me, but it's kind of an awkward thing. It's a thing that she does there. If I say that I love her, then she would say, well, me too. Um, but not everybody is that way. And then you talk about intimacy. We used to joke with my parents that said, how do we exist? You guys never touch each other. Like, how did it even happen? Like, was it an accident while you were sleeping or something? So we used to just, we joked about that because there was zero. Intimacy between them. And but I think that again, was cultural and that was part of it. Now, when we think about ministry and spiritual life, and again, the, hopefully this reaches people and it touches your heart for the I went to a church that really nice people, but the services were equivalent to a funeral. Oh yeah. And then the other one is, is when you have the theology and the mindset that you do in that group, they were one of the, some of the most miserable people [00:33:00] that I knew, and this was the Christian Church. I said, well, why would I wanna be part of this? Right. 16, 17, 18, 19, I really fell off and I was crazy, wild and everything. Went to college found out that, uh, man, I could buy four cases of beer for 20 bucks back there in the province of Alberta. And the drinking age was 18 and that's what I was. And so it was a crazy time for me. But then when I got into my later years of my twenties, 26, 27, I was invited to a Bible study by a friend of mine and I said, I don't know. Like I always knew God was there. Mm-hmm. But I really didn't wanna have anything to do with him. I wasn't vile. There was some people that were violent. I was just disinterested in Christian people. Mm-hmm. The number one reason that I left the church were Christians. Yep. At least in my head. But I was around 25, 26 and I went to this Bible study and that this friend of mine, he had, it was a business owner and he had it one Saturday a month. And I walked in this room and [00:34:00] here are these Christians telling jokes and having fun. And it says those two things don't coexist with being a Christian. So he is having fun, he is telling jokes, he's enjoying himself. It wasn't a legalistic pet. And abyss. I said, what? And so all of a sudden my eyes were started to open up and then the spirit, oh no man, the spirit's gonna come. I might even cry. But he came to me because he had me tagged for this kinda work, right? Is he says, Ken, it's not about you and them, it's about you and me. Mm-hmm. So when we have issues with other people, it's always about going vertical. People will always disappoint you. And then his other, his next word to me was clear. He says, and Ken, when were you? Perfect. So none of us are perfect. And so, you know, some of the most judgmental people I've ever met were, have been in the Christian environment, right. That legalistic kind of side. And I said, okay, fine. [00:35:00] Now moving towards it. And that's when I was baptized in a friend's pool, I think it was 28 years of age, and started to go on this journey. And then later on started doing more work for Ministries and said, you know what? I really want to hone my, ministry side and decided to. Take additional biblical studies. Mm-hmm. And then be ordained actually through a friend of mine who, he has a pastor of a church, but he also is one of our associates. 'cause we license other people, around the world to use our tools to serve their community. So this pastor was using it to serve his team and all his team members were going through it. And he also was doing community outreach. And he says, no, we'll, Andor and you. Ordain you under our, CEEC banner. So there's probably about 4,000 kind of interdenominational groups that are under this banner, and that's why I'm ordained under that. I think, I don't know if I mentioned this in the podcast we were together yesterday, or the session yesterday, is I don't ever see myself being quote unquote a pastor of [00:36:00] a church, but doing extended ministry, helping people in ministry and leadership. I've, done a lot of retreats for leadership mm-hmm. For denominations because I can bring the expertise as a leadership in professional development consultants and well as a consultant to bear with the ministry context. And so it's just adding, and that's where I love actually doing the work. We have a local church, one of the larger ones, and the youth minister is a friend of mine. He also does apologetics. And so what we started to do is do his leadership group on our personality. I have a book called, why Aren't You More Like Me? Mm-hmm. And every once or twice a year, we would do retreats for those youth leaders that were 18 to 30 years of age. And in that moment I said, you know what? God has created us uniquely, but also perfectly for the assignments that he has for us in life. It's our responsibility to figure out [00:37:00] what that is. So, Dr. Pastor Randy, would get up front and he would say, next to accepting Christ. He says, I think this is one of the most important things you could learn, because every single person on this planet has a personal style. Other people call it a personality. Mm-hmm. And you are gonna bring that to bear in everything you do, every relationship you touch, every work piece, and responsibility you do. And it's not right, it's not wrong. You are uniquely created for the purposes that he has for you and the plan he has for you and the assignments he has for you and every. Personality or personal style has related strengths and stuff. Challenges, I guess. So I need to be responsible for that. I have, if I didn't have the strengths and tenacity that I was naturally born with, no way, I would've had the fortitude or resilience to overcome some of the things that this company's been through and some of the things that have been in front of me in my life. Wow. On the other hand, you don't want me to [00:38:00] be the auditor of your ministry books 'cause I'll just say it close enough because I absolutely. I might have an MBA, but I really dislike the minute details. I'm really an idea person, even though I've written 4 million words. The words are through ideas to influence people to improve their lives. Mm-hmm. To write a textbook on trigonometry is, I need him to come here and I'm gonna go to heaven quicker. I'm never gonna write. So part of those of you that are watching our ability to say no is equally important as our ability to say yes. Mm-hmm. So our responsibility as individuals, as believers say, everybody says, okay, the're great commission to share his word with other people. Okay. But where doing what for you? So that is the bigger question for us individually, to say, where does he want you to go? What does he want you to do? And you know, if I would've followed the [00:39:00] cultural pressures, I'd still be on the dairy farm. Mm-hmm. With my. Two brothers. And so my youngest brother has taken over the dairy farm and now his son is looking at taking over and his son has got a son. So now you're talking five or six generations. That's great. That's fine. But that's not what I am called to do. So my encouragement is, if you're watching this, there's two things. First of all, don't let the pressures of the past and other people's expectation drive you. Really only a Holy Spirit can lead you. Mm-hmm. And some close advisors that have wisdom and insights or even a word of knowledge for you that you wouldn't know that's driven from the Holy Spirit, not from here. The second one is that is true for you and you're a parent, or you're a significant other, or you're a partner. Why wouldn't you honor that uniqueness of the people around them as well? A friend of mine who's a believer, who was part owner of the company that I now own a hundred percent and I, but I've known him for 40 years. He, when we first got involved with this, he says, [00:40:00] Ken, my son's really. He's not gonna amount to anything. He's the laziest kid I've ever met. But what he was saying, because my friend is a driven entrepreneur like this guy at 70 works 12 hours a day, six days a week, even now, and you can't stop him. And that's just who he is. It's the fabric of who he is. He was a dairy farmer as well, so you, he's already got that in his gene. His son, who was not really lazy, was just extremely easygoing. So his style was just Dad, no chill. Just chill. Dad, whatever. You know what he is now? Pediatric doctor. Aw. So, sometimes we go there and we judge people and we say, you're not gonna melt to anything. You're lazy. You shouldn't be doing this. And in fact, God had a calling for, his name is John. To be a doctor and think about his nature. He's caring for kids, he has a heart for kids, he has the temperament for kids, he loves on them as a doctor. And then [00:41:00] gifted on that, what a better place to be now. The relationship between father and son have never been better as part of it. You know, as you think about this, how can we create a space, a safe space for individuals like you or me to go on this journey of discovery with me, not because of what I say or don't say, but together so that I can help you realize your potential. And one of the things that is, um, I do still kind of get a little miffed at how Christians can put other people down for certain reasons. Absolutely. Or just people in general. I had a point, and now it's gone. It'll come back to me here in a moment. But part of this is that. We don't want to be judging people about their direction and putting them down for certain directions. Mm-hmm. Because now what we're doing is we're spilling our fear into their space. The reality is the enemy will bring people around you to discount you. We even talked about that yesterday in [00:42:00] the, Christian business owners call. Mm-hmm. Is that the enemy wants to discount your worth. Yes. If I go, I have zero people says, Ken, you still get nervous speaking in front of groups. I says, never. Never. If it's a thousand people, 2000 people, 3000 people, I love it. I'm energized. You ever get nervous? Getting on a show? Never does not happen. However, if I'm asked to preach in front of a church, then the worthiness, the enemy comes after me and says, Ken, do you know who you are? What gives you the right to speak about Christ's righteousness in front of these people? And so my, so I want to call it wisdom mm-hmm. To individuals, is that the enemy wants to discount that, there's a big difference between confidence and arrogance is that we wanna be confident in who he is. And yes, he has asked me to share his word with others in the context, and I've done preaching for people online and in services at churches, [00:43:00] and then also led, you know, Ministries through our work and leadership and personality and wellness and all these things. But I'm still working on this thing where the enemy wants to attack this. Who do you think you are? Hmm. When he called out Moses, when Moses says, well, I'm not equipped for this. We use the, scripture from Gideon. I'm the weakest of my clan. Why? Why choose my me? And I started to think about that. Think about all the people that God chose. To lead and be in front. Half of them are murderers. I mean, I'm being demonstrative, but Right. So, hello. That didn't exclude them. Then you have this Pharisee who is killing Christians on the weekend, who wrote nearly half of the New Testament. Absolutely. What are you talking about? Because he's trying to demonstrate to you, me and everybody watching the transformational nature of his spirit and that there is nothing that's not [00:44:00] possible if you're in his will and following it. I will never, in spite of all, like you were talking off air about these, I'll call it new age kind of positive thinking stuff. Mm-hmm. I will never be a basketball player. It's just not gonna Me neither. At five nine. It is not gonna happen. It's just, I can have all the goals in the world. I can visualize all I want. It's just not going to happen. But if it's in the context of his will, and here's the other responsibility. As believers, it's your responsibility to find out what that will is. Where does he want you to go? And again, to be really careful, be really cautious to only get feedback from those people who are trusted advisors that know the spirit. Oh, I know what I was gonna say earlier is my family, when I decided to leave my sales job to start my own sales training, even then my parents said, my dad said to me, why would you leave a company that gives you a free [00:45:00] car? And then they give you lunches. Two, what a what an idiot you are to leave that job, to start this training business. Well, that company, by the way, three or four years later, went bankrupt. So that was kind of a little get back at your dad moment there. And they sort of fine. But that's how people are thinking. They're well-meaning they're trying to protect you. But don't absorb their fear. Don't let their doubt come into your space. Sometimes you have to be extremely guarded about I'll call it the unbelief of others around you. When Jesus didn't chastise the disciples very often, but he chastised them about fear in the boat and the water. Mm-hmm. But he also chastised their unbelief when they couldn't heal the crippled individual who was come on, help me with the word Diana. Possessed. And they said, what? Why couldn't we cast out the devil? They said, because of your unbelief. So [00:46:00] sometimes we need to make sure that we guard ourselves and be around those people that really are there with us, Diana, on that side, I'm getting a little preachy now instead of just a podcast on those. I love it. I love it. But my, and we talk a lot about boundaries that you have to have boundaries, physical boundaries, as well as mental boundaries. Who are you hanging out with? Who are you allowing to influence you? That's super important. Oh, and in fact, I was talking about this on another, podcast just this morning that I was on, is that, the research is clear who you associate with matters, and the proof is, is that your five closest associates will be the highest level of influence. In other words, if we look at your five closest friends, I can almost predict. With certainty what you are going to be like, how you're gonna think, how you're going to act, because you're constantly influencing each other. Now I remember, and I know you're almost getting close to the end of the show, but one of my [00:47:00] colleagues, not a believer, but very wise guy, Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, one of the top coaches in the world, wrote the book Triggers and What Got you here won't get you there. And I was at an invite only event in New York with him and 20 or 30 other people in the coaching industry. And one of the things he stated, and this is so true, especially people with trauma and they have family, is that a lot of times you want to go to a new level. So Diana, you're going to a new level, you're doing the podcast, you're doing this ministry, you're growing, I'm growing. Your past, the people that you grew up in high school or the people that know you or your family, they wanna keep you where you were. They don't want to you to go where you're going. So an example is when I got my doctorate degree, we had a family dinner and it was kind of a celebration. And one of my family members said to me with almost with the stain, we are never calling you doctor. Hmm. And part of it is that they knew me for who I was 30 years ago. [00:48:00] And then of course I left the farm. I went on my own started to develop relationships and connections with amazing people around the world. Is that some, not that I'm better than them, but I am different. And so I don't really share what I do with my family members. And that's what Marshall was teaching in his group is that sometimes who you become doesn't fit the people that you used to hang out with. It doesn't mean you don't hang out with them. You just limit that you are being with your family. Diana, what are you doing? He says, well, I'm doing ministry work and I'm running a podcast and just really helping people to overcome trauma. And that's it. That's all it's done. We don't talk about the great people we met or 'cause what happens is you're seen as being arrogant and who do you think you are rather than colleagues where you're just sharing your excitement about this growth. Oh yeah. I had relatives come up to me 'cause they heard me, I was a guest on somebody else's podcast. Oh, she can't do that. You know, she's gonna hurt somebody. She's not a licensed counselor. She's not this, she's not that. [00:49:00] And I have had training. I get considerable training. I'm not a licensed counselor, but the program that I follow, was written by a trauma counselor and a theology professor. So that's called Mending the Soul, by the way. Mm-hmm. Anyway, yeah, they're definitely, we're all already people telling me, well, you shouldn't be doing that. Who are you? You're not some, super professional girl. You're just Diana, you're just an abuse survivor. That's all you are kind of thing. So, yeah. Well, what happens a lot of times is envy can come in, jealousy can come in. They wanna still contain you and me to who we were, but it's also still their perception is true with, one of my family members where, they go on, oh, you, you're always this person that talks too much. That's what my dad said to me when I was a teenager. And of course he was putting me down for my style and what I do. And it was interesting because even though he [00:50:00] says, Ken, you talk too much and put me down for my style. I was the person that asked to be m Mc of banquets when I was 16 and 17 years of age because I would be quick on my feet, I'd be able to have a responsiveness. And I also took. The responsibility of being an mc of a banquet. Seriously, because have you ever been to these banquets that's run by volunteers where you have just a terrible mc and they ruin the night? Oh yeah. Well, the opposite. I said, no. I take this as a profession. Mm-hmm. And recently, interesting enough, in spite of sort of the history, my dad has a group called The Pioneers, which are elderly people have been in our community for, 60, 70, 80, 90 years. And they asked me to be the mc. And so then I've done it for two years. They won't hold it this year. And people come and said, how are you able to do that? Because the people that were doing it before were on the board. They were, dementia was already setting in and they were trying to lead this banquet and it was just a [00:51:00] disaster, nice people. But they were way out of their element and they shouldn't have been MCing it. Here's a family trying to contain, you said, who do you think you are? Put you down for talking yet. It's my profession. It's what I do. I've been paid or have conducted 3000 presentations around the world in the last 32 years. Hello? What? Like, help me out here and just like your family, my dad is, just really unsure about what I really do. If I say I'm doing some speaking or training for like Chrysler, well, he gets that, but producing psychological tools and assessments and all the other work, like we were talking around purpose. No, they, they wouldn't get it. So part of, you know, all of that story from both of us for the viewers and listeners is that it's okay to move on, but also you don't have to share your new life with your old life. Yeah. And that you can be that person for them, but guard your [00:52:00] future sort of, expounding about what you're gonna do and writing these books and creating these e-course and all that kind of stuff, they don't care. They're not there. So it's interesting because my wife and I, when we go to family events we talk about emotional intelligence and we talk about interpersonal intelligence and we talk about self-awareness. But one of the things we do at family events, we, we have a game. We say, could we go all night with 20 people in the room with three hours a time? We're not a single person will ask us a question about us and we can do it multiple times. So we go to an event and Diana, how are you doing and what's new at the ministry? And, how's the family doing? And I heard you went on this trip, a gifted conversationalist is a person who asks questions, right? But what we note is that nobody asks myself or my wife a question. Now, there's the odd occasion where it does occur. It does happen, but it's extremely [00:53:00] rare. So people like to talk about themselves. So we might say, well listen, we're thinking about going to Hawaii. Oh, we went to Hawaii two years ago and we're over here. And all of a sudden they're telling a story, which is all about being self-centered about their trip to Hawaii two years ago. And we just shared what, where we're going to Hawaii. They didn't ask about where you're going, when you're going, who's going? No. They went on to their own. This is a conversational skillset that most of the population does not have. And by the way, for those of you watching play the game. Go out there and, don't talk about yourself. If somebody talks about something, make sure you respond to it, but then transition back to a question and see if you can go all night without anybody asking a question about yourself. And then here's the other one. Don't be offended by it. Give it up. Offense is a choice. You know, we talked about trauma and we talked about forgiveness, but being offended is also a choice. Mm-hmm. Dr. David's Burn's work around, trauma, if you've ever read his book feel good [00:54:00] is, I mean, it's got about 500 pages at four point font. Is that my response is always a choice. Yes. And even Dr. Gottman in his work around relationships is that once I get over 100 beats per minute non-athletic, I'm no longer rational. Well, that's where we have trauma. We have abuse, we have crazy things that happen. One of our number one constituents, we serve as law enforcement. So, Dr. Anderson, who founded the company, was a criminology professor. And then one of my co-authors, Dr. Mitch dti, teaches law enforcement officers emotional intelligence. What's the most dangerous situation for law enforcement to go into domestic dispute? Yes. Why? Because people are irrational. Mm-hmm. So I've let myself get ramped up. I'm now biologically I'm no longer in control of my emotions. Mm-hmm. And now I will say and do things that will regret. Now I'm completely [00:55:00] outta control. I mean, there was this situation that happened in Palm Springs a couple, two, three years ago where there was abusive situation carrying on. The officers broke up, the couple started to contain him, and then she got a gun out and killed both officers. Oh. So that's why officers in these environments, they said you have to watch your back because it's completely. Unpredictable as part of it. So I mean, there's obviously lots of things that we've covered today in the show and we've gone for our 55 minutes. Anything else, Diana, that you wanted to maybe poke your head into before we close? Well, we could go down a whole bunch of rabbit trails on a lot of things that you said. You said so many great nuggets. But maybe for our listeners, perhaps. Give like a list of actionable things that they can do right now. Now just before I do it, so that we don't miss you, I have a gift for everybody. Yes. And [00:56:00] so I'm gonna give you access to the e-copy, Of my the Quest for Purpose book in the get that is go to my speaker site, which is Ken Keys, K-E-N-K-E-I s.com/faithful. You'll in that hidden URL and of course you'll be able to put it in the show notes, Diana as well. Mm-hmm. Is that you'll be able to go there and then download the e version of the book. What I am sometimes shocked at is that I give away this book is that the amount of people who don't. Opt in to get the book. It is a roadmap, a step-by-step process to get clear about who and what and where, and what you should be doing in your life and all components. And now it's gonna take work, it's gonna take time, but where are you gonna be in six months if you don't do it? So, uh, it's there. I spent six months going through this process with my coach, Mike McManus, you know, driving three hours each way when it wasn't pertinent. So when I think about actionable steps, [00:57:00] and you think about people's lives, first of all, if you don't have a purpose in life, then your purpose is to find your purpose. And so that becomes the focus, rather than trying to say, I better be doing this, or I just take a breath. Allow yourself time and space. I've noticed that the Holy Spirit is never frantic. He is on time and he is moving forward, but he is never Fran frantic. And so, chaos is not from him. So just be peaceful, be quiet, and start paying attention and asking yourself this question, if you are doing what you're doing right now in all contexts of your life 20 years from now, is that okay? And if you say no, then that obviously infers change. So what is it that you're gonna move towards? Don't freak out. Don't try to do it all. I mean, if I'm trying to be a marathon runner this morning and then I said, I'm gonna run and do a marathon tonight, I'm gonna be dead. Just, I gotta [00:58:00] train for it. Yep. So life is the same way. The other one is for us and our resources, is that there's all different ways to get to clarity. So we have assessments and they're all learning assessments. So a values assessment, a self-worth assessment, a personality assessment we have a self-worth one I might have mentioned that already. And so all of those become puzzle pieces to create the clarity. The other one, Diana, is, is get a group that's gonna support you, look around and don't judge the five closest friend, but say are the five closest friends in a space that are gonna help you to go where you need to go. And sometimes one of my mentors used to say, you know what, Ken? Sometimes you need to fire clients. He says, why? He says, you've outgrown them. The client that you're serving now is not the client that you started with five years ago. So you know, like my fees and what I do is completely different than what it was 15 years ago. So [00:59:00] now start paying attention to that. And then the other thing is, is that life takes effort. If you get finish watching the show and do nothing and do no action steps, then you're gonna have the same thing tomorrow. So what are the steps that you can take? Start moving towards it, download the book. It's got a complete roadmap. And the other thing we'll make sure that my contact information is there, Diana, is that if people have questions, reach out, I'll respond as, as best as I can in the time that's allotted there. But I'll respond to you to be able to say, Hey, how can we help you or call you and your ministry? Mm-hmm. And some of the coaching that is available there. So that'll get you started. And again, don't try to do it all overnight. Just take one step at a time. The research shows is that if you try to three things at wants to change it, you have about a 15% likelihood of implementing it and a 75% success rate if it's just one thing. So one thing at a time, progress forward and keep listening to Diana's podcast. [01:00:00] And that should be the other step that they do too. Right. Wow, this was so awesome. I cannot wait to read that book and I hope that our listeners will download the book and get busy reading it and putting those things into practice. We will probably have to have you back again in the future because I can just tell you have so much more to share with us to help anytime to be able to serve and support and, you know, go granular in some of these other areas that we can talk about. For sure, anytime, Diana, So today, just choose one thing, one small thing to get you closer to your healing goals. God bless. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org [01:01:00] where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

Married for over 48 years, Michael and Vivienne Aronowitz transformed their own journey into Marriage Aces—a playful, research-based game designed to help couples strengthen emotional safety, gratitude, kindness, and a solid foundation. Each trip around the board and every card drawn from the four decks creates new opportunities for closeness and better communication. In this lively episode, they share their story, the influences that shaped the game (Gottman, Sue Johnson, Coach Tony Dungy), and why humor, lychees, and even peeled grapes belong in the recipe for a happy marriage.Link to Marriage Aces: https://www.drmichaelaronowitz.com/marriage-acesCredits:River is High, Ticketless TravelerCarl Reisman, guitar, singer, and songwriterJenny Goodwine, vocalsJames Singleton, bassJohnny Vidocovich, drumsDave Easley, steel guitarProduced by Morgan Orion Reismanfor more information, carlreisman@gmail.comCopyright 2025WCMI networking group A networking group for mindfulness-focused clinicians dedicated to learning together & collaborating for more information click here

This week, Traci welcomes Kelly McGinnis, certified Gottman educator, emotion coach, and CEO of Incredible Family—an organization committed to unleashing potential in working parents through developing strengths.With over 20 years of experience educating and empowering families, Kelly shares her own journey through the abrupt transition to motherhood with three daughters and how it ignited her passion for helping working parents thrive without choosing between career and family.Spoiler alert: The odds are stacked against working parents—but there's a science-backed way to flip the script.Kelly reveals why our brains are hardwired for negativity, the shocking happiness curve research that shows when life satisfaction hits rock bottom, and the one simple strategy organizations can implement that creates ripple effects across engagement, productivity, and retention.Plus, she shares a powerful story about how unlocking one mom's hidden strength not only kept a valuable employee from leaving but sparked an entirely new mentorship program.What We Cover:The "motherhood penalty" and why becoming a parent happens at the worst possible career momentWhy happiness levels plummet when we become working parents (and what causes that dip)How to break the negativity cycle by shifting to a strengths-based philosophyThe dual reality principle: Why two contradictory things can be true at onceWhy working parents make exceptional leaders (hint: parenting and leadership run parallel)The research-backed reason community is the #1 way to support working parentsHow to navigate the return-to-work transition and view parenthood as a series of transitionsThe "pebble in the pond" impact: How small shifts create massive organizational changeKey Quote: "Culture will emerge 'by design or default,' and organizations end up paying the price either way. You can invest intentionally upfront or deal with costly damage control later." – Kelly McGinnisFREE GIFT: Email Kelly at kelly@incrediblefamily.com and mention this podcast to receive a free code for the parent strengths assessment!Connect with Kelly:Email: kelly@incrediblefamily.com LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-mcginnis-ifi Website: incrediblefamily.com  Connect with Traci here: https://linktr.ee/HRTraci Disclaimer: Thoughts, opinions, and statements made on this podcast are not a reflection of the thoughts, opinions, and statements of the Company by whom Traci Chernoff is actively employed.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products or services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

In Part 3 of our Four Horsemen series, we dive into contempt, the most dangerous predictor of relationship breakdown. Kat breaks down what contempt sounds like, why it’s referred to as “relational poison,” and how it impacts both emotional and even physical health. Most importantly, we go over the antidote from Dr. Gottman: building a culture of admiration and respect. Plus, Amy’s Feeling of the Day is sad, but it’s giving her some helpful information about herself and her relationship. Sign up for the Feeling Things newsletter HERE! Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nos dimos un break… pero ya volvimos, para hablar de lo qué significa realmente ‘darse un tiempo'. En este episodio nos metimos al terreno incómodo de las rupturas y los famosos “tiempos” en pareja. ¿Sirven para arreglar las cosas o solo alargan lo inevitable? Entre datos curiosos, el modelo de Gottman con sus 4 jinetes del apocalipsis, y lo que pasa en relaciones LGBTQ+ cuando cortas (spoiler: no siempre desapareces del mapa), platicamos de todo eso con humor y sin filtro.Síguenos en Instagram y X como @eldeliciosomx, en Facebook como El Delicioso Podcast, o escríbenos a podcasteldelicioso@gmail.com.Recuerda que puedes grabar tu podcast en La Secta Creativa:https://lasecta.com.mx/https://www.instagram.com/lasectacreativa/

Want more cohesive, collaborative, and healthy teams? Most team problems don't start in the plan—they start in the space between people. In this podcast, Philippa and Penelope break down the behaviours that quietly wreck trust and teamwork, so you can build teams that actually work well together.You'll hear about Gottman's Four Horsemen and how they show up in everyday team life:Defensiveness – That knee-jerk pushback, blame-shifting and excuse-making instead of listening.Criticism/Blame – Attacking someone's character rather than addressing the issue.Contempt – Acting superior through sarcasm, eye-rolling, or mean-spirited jokes.Stonewalling – Completely checking out and going radio silent.Better yet, you'll get practical antidotes you can use today. Curiosity turns defensiveness into learning. Constructive communication replaces blame with clarity. Appreciation undercuts contempt. Care and connection repair stonewalling. You'll hear real examples, scripts, and simple tweaks you can try this week to cut drama and build a shared language for conflict that actually helps.If you're tired of being stuck in the “who's right?” mud pit, this is your way out.Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and drop a quick review. Which antidote will you try first?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

This episode originally aired on May 3, 2021 (Episode 244), and I'm bringing it back because so many of you told me how much it resonated. If you've ever struggled with a partner who shuts down or found yourself withdrawing, this one's worth revisiting. Whether you're navigating it now, reflecting on the past, or supporting someone you love, I hope it brings clarity and hope. Few things hurt more than reaching for your partner and being met with silence. In this episode, I'm unpacking why people shut down, how it damages connection, and what you can do to change the pattern. We'll look at the pursue-withdraw cycle, Gottman's “Four Horsemen,” and why emotional safety is the key to breaking through. You'll learn how to soften your approach, communicate vulnerably, and rebuild trust - while also considering when it's time to stop chasing and start filling your own cup.  As you listen, think about how you usually respond when your partner withdraws and what effect that has. Consider what might change if you focused more on creating safety than on pushing for answers. And ask yourself where you could begin creating fulfillment in your own life, instead of waiting for your partner to engage. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction & Why Partners Shut Down 06:00 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:04 The Impact of Withdrawal and Avoidance 13:01 Gottman's Four Horsemen & The Cost of Stonewalling 15:12 Why Withdrawal Happens & When It's About More Than You 20:40 Creating Emotional Safety and Communicating Vulnerably 28:04 Positive Reinforcement, Diplomacy & Patience 36:10 Filling Your Own Cup & Breaking the Chase Cycle If you'd like more support as you work on these skills, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training. It's designed to help you move out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, and it comes with a workbook to guide you through the process. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for quick insight into what's working well and where you might want to focus your growth. Let's stay connected beyond the podcast. I share more tools and encouragement every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I'd love to hear from you if this episode sparked a question, gave you an idea for a future topic, or made you think about your relationship in a new way - let's talk! And a special thank you to the sponsor of today's episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but I don't always have time to sit down with a book. The Headway app makes it easy to keep growing with bite-sized summaries of the best titles out there, and I use it almost every day. If you'd like to try it, you can save 25% at makeheadway.com/lhs with the promo code LHS. Let's keep learning and growing together.

Today, Dan & Stephanie try to cover a difficult topic using stories that can happen with neurodiverse couples and weaving in the story of Elizabeth Holmes/ Theranos after seeing the documentary on HBO Max about remembering differently, different priorities, and lying to oneself. Often, the couple remembers something differently (more often than not) and gets stuck in the weeds on whether a fact is true or not true instead of solving the actual problem or coming up with a future solution from hindsight learning. Many of our couples get stuck in what is sin, what is a lie, when is this a character flaw or issue? Stephanie began the discussion by setting up some Gottman research that states 69% of couples' issues are perpetual and unsolvable, so what do you do?In neurodiverse couples, you can guarantee that you will remember situations and events differently.You can count on the two of you to have different perspectives and priorities- what do you do?Looking at the definition of a lie:General Definition:A lie is generally defined as a false statement made with the intent to deceive someone.It involves making a statement that the speaker knows to be untrue, to cause the listener to believe it is true.Lies involve the intention to deceive or omit something so as not to have a penalty or consequence.What to do? After listening to the documentary The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley, Dan and Stephanie arrive at different places where they believe Elizabeth Holmes (no relation) is lying with intent. Is she lying to herself? Stuck in dreams or expectations that will never be? Lying to others? What do you think?What do you do when you remember differently and need to solve a problem, or you have differences and wants and needs and priorities?Dan and Stephanie also talk about the perspective gap and learning from it, and how to stay relational when you disagree.An older podcast called Stuck in the Weeds is mentioned- you can find that here:https://www.spreaker.com/episode/stuck-in-the-weeds-communication-collaboration-misfires--64597917 Find the entire catalog here:https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356or from our home pagewww.christianneurodiversemarriage.com Find out what courses are available at www.holmesasr.com

Humillar “para que aprenda” no solo hiere: empobrece decisiones, resultados y cultura. Hablamos de cómo el maltrato se contagia en las reuniones, por qué el ostracismo (ignorar) duele como dolor físico y qué hacer para crear seguridad psicológica y conversaciones valientes. También abrimos un espacio de Comunicación No Violenta y automaltrato: ese jefe interior que nos habla con desprecio.Te llevas:Evidencia clave (Porath & Erez; Porath & Pearson; Riskin et al.; Edmondson; Gottman; Engert; Harold & Sellers).5 reglas para reuniones sin humillación: disentir sin ridiculizar, turnos, para & repara, preguntas genuinas y contraste de supuestos/objeciones con datos, y revisión final.Guiones prácticos de CNV para parar el maltrato sin incendiar.Herramientas para desactivar el autolátigo y aumentar la calma.Si este episodio te sirvió, compártelo con tu equipo.Si quieres saber más de Ángel López puedes ver su Instagram @vivirconangel y su web www.vivirconangel.com y apuntarte a su newsletter donde manda información actualizada y muchas reflexiones para entender que “la vida es otra cosa”.

Send us a textAre you and your spouse more “roommates” than romantic partners? You're not alone, cultural shifts and daily life pressures are making emotional distance a real threat to modern marriages. In Episode 102 Matthew & Monica Powers unpack why couples drift apart, what the research actually says about connection (and divorce), and, most importantly, practical, faith-friendly steps to rebuild an unstoppable “we.”You'll hear:Why missing the small moments (Gottman's “bids for connection”) predicts relationship outcomes and how small turns-toward beat grand gestures. How shifting from “soulmate” expectations to a growth mindset helps you grow together instead of apart.Concrete, everyday exercises to find each other again: state-of-the-union meetings, intentional micro-moments, value alignment, and a better definition of self-care.Real couple stories from our lives (and the podcast mic) that make the tough work feel doable — not doom-and-gloom.Plus: we break down what major research says about marriage trends and why this moment matters for couples today. If this episode lands for you, comment, DM us, or share — tell us one small thing you'll do this week to “turn toward” your partner. Want a resource list or worksheet for your State-of-the-Union meeting? Hit reply and we'll send it.The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink PodcastCurious about Dominance & submission? Real stories, real fun, really kinky.Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2738: Heather Gray highlights how honoring a partner's needs strengthens intimacy and builds emotional security. By choosing acceptance over resistance, couples foster respect, reduce power struggles, and create lasting connection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-you-need-to-accept-your-partners-needs/ Quotes to ponder: "Accepting your partner's needs is a way of showing respect for them and the relationship." "When both partners are willing to accept influence, they are more likely to find win-win solutions." "Rejecting influence is essentially rejecting your partner." Episode references: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love: https://www.amazon.com/Eight-Dates-Essential-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/1523504463 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2738: Heather Gray highlights how honoring a partner's needs strengthens intimacy and builds emotional security. By choosing acceptance over resistance, couples foster respect, reduce power struggles, and create lasting connection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-you-need-to-accept-your-partners-needs/ Quotes to ponder: "Accepting your partner's needs is a way of showing respect for them and the relationship." "When both partners are willing to accept influence, they are more likely to find win-win solutions." "Rejecting influence is essentially rejecting your partner." Episode references: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love: https://www.amazon.com/Eight-Dates-Essential-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/1523504463 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the start of a 4 part series of Amy and Kat unpacking Dr. John Gottman’s famous ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse’ for relationships which has helped him be able to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. Part 1 is Criticism, the one that often shows up first and sets the tone for conflict. Amy has her own issues with getting defensive and even gets her boyfriend on the phone to confirm. Kat explains why criticism is different from a simple complaint, how it sneaks in through exaggeration, “should” statements, jokes, and tone, and why it can actually be a clumsy bid for connection. You’ll learn Gottman’s antidote, the Gentle Start-Up, with clear “I feel / I need” examples to help you express concerns without blame. Whether you’re married, dating, or navigating family and friendships, this episode will help you spot criticism early and swap it for communication that keeps relationships strong. Feeling of the Day: Angry (and Kat has every right to be!) Listen next week for: Defensiveness (Part 2 of How Relationships Begin to End: The Four Horseman) Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two of the leading voices in relationship wisdom are John and Julie Gottman. They are the founders of the Gottman institute and the subsequent Love Lab. While their research focuses mainly on romantic relationships, I believe their wisdom applies to any relationship. This week, I teach you 3 simple ways to strengthen any relationship--learned from the Gottman's book, "The Love Prescription." Buy your copy of It Just Takes One on Amazon here. Write a review here. Sign up for weekly inspiration here. 

In this episode, we explore the quiet but corrosive role that negativity plays in relationships — not just through conflict, but in the subtle daily ruptures that erode trust, intimacy, and emotional safety over time. Drawing from Gottman's research, IMAGO relationship theory, and nervous system science, we unpack how negativity can show up emotionally, cognitively, physiologically, relationally, existentially, spiritually, and systemically. We challenge the idea that discomfort is always harmful, clarify the difference between harmful negativity and constructive truth-telling, and offer clear practices for eliminating negative patterns without falling into toxic positivity. This is about creating a sacred, secure space between you and your partner. A space where where truth can be spoken, pain can be repaired, and connection can grow.All of my links are here.

Ever feel like your arguments could use a referee? *Pre-negotiated timeouts have entered the chat.* The girls chat the relationship hack backed by psychology (and yes, Gottman's legendary Love Lab) that helps couples cool off without checking out.In this episode of Get Psyched, we explore how a simple “time out” can actually make your love life stronger:

In this week's episode of The Workplace Podcast, William Corless sits down with Dr. Karen Bridbord — licensed psychologist, Gottman-certified couples therapist, and author of The Relationship-Driven Leader. Karen blends cutting-edge psychology with organisational behaviour to show how leaders can strengthen workplace relationships for better productivity, resilience, and wellbeing. From navigating conflict to building trust, Karen offers powerful tools every leader can use to transform team dynamics.

In this episode of the Music and Therapy podcast Keana explains how repair attempts are small but powerful gestures that help de-escalate tension and reconnect emotionally. She shares:

Episode 370 reviews Dr. John Medina's insights from Brain Rules and explores how neuroscience and social-emotional learning combine to improve teaching, learning, and well-being. Key takeaways: teachers need basic neuroscience to support learning; the emotional stability of the home strongly shapes a child's resilience and confidence; and children build resilience when adults co-regulate and model healthy emotion management during high-emotion moments. This short review highlights practical steps for educators, parents, and leaders to apply brain-based strategies and SEL to boost student outcomes and lifelong skills. EP 370 covers a review of Dr. John Medina's Brain Rules, from EP 42 (February 2020)  We learned: ✔ If education is about the brain, then teachers need to understand how the brain learns best. ✔ A child's resilience and confidence are deeply tied to the emotional climate of the home. ✔  Children build resilience not in calm moments, but in how parents (or caregivers) respond when emotions run high. Welcome back to SEASON 14 of The Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast, where we connect the science-based evidence behind social and emotional learning and emotional intelligence training for improved well-being, achievement, productivity and results—using what I saw as the missing link (since we weren't taught this when we were growing up in school), the application of practical neuroscience. I'm Andrea Samadi, and seven years ago, launched this podcast with a question I had never truly asked myself before: (and that is) If productivity and results matter to us—and they do now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make them happen? Most of us were never taught how to apply neuroscience to improve productivity, results, or well-being. About a decade ago, I became fascinated by the mind-brain-results connection—and how science can be applied to our everyday lives. That's why I've made it my mission to bring you the world's top experts—so together, we can explore the intersection of science and social-emotional learning. We'll break down complex ideas and turn them into practical strategies we can use every day for predictable, science-backed results. Episode 370: Brain Rules and the Future of Learning For today's Episode 370[i], we continue our journey into the mind with our next interview review—Dr. John Medina, author of the well-known book Brain Rules. We first featured Dr. Medina in EP 42, when we explored “Implementing Brain Rules in Schools and Workplaces of the Future.” To remind you where we began with our interview review series: We opened with EP 366[ii], diving into speaker Bob Proctor's timeless principles. Bob was the very first person—over 25 years ago—who challenged me with the question, “What do you really want to do with your life?” At the time, I didn't have a clear answer. It's taken well over 25 years now for this clarity to evolve. Eventually, I realized what mattered most to me: and that was bringing social and emotional learning (SEL) skills into schools. I had already seen how these skills—once called “soft skills”—transformed the lives of 12 teenagers I worked with in the motivational speaking industry in the late 1990s. Later, I watched as SEL spread into schools across states and countries, until the research became undeniable. A 2011 meta-analysis of 213 studies confirmed what I had seen firsthand a decade before this study was released: students who participated in SEL programs showed an 11-percentile-point increase in academic performance[iii] compared to control groups. That's a significant improvement, demonstrating just how powerful SEL can be. Long before this research, I simply knew these skills could shape the future of the next generation. This podcast itself was built around the six core SEL competencies—each explored in its own dedicated episode that you can find in our resource section in the show notes. Then came the next step: adding the lens of neuroscience. I realized that everything we were studying in SEL connected back to how the brain works. My deep dive into what I called “Neuroscience 101” began when an educator handed me a stack of books that opened my eyes to the importance of brain science in education. From those early hand-drawn sketches grew the framework that still guides this podcast today—bridging SEL and neuroscience to make learning both practical and powerful.   Which brings us to today's review: Episode 370, where we revisit Dr. John Medina. At the heart of this conversation is the very question that launched my journey years ago: What happens when we connect social and emotional learning with neuroscience? How can understanding the brain not only improve results and productivity, but also better equip our next generation of students in the classroom? It was John Medina's Brain Rules that first landed on my bookshelf back in 2009. And to be honest—it just sat there for a while. I wasn't ready yet. As Dr. Medina himself has said, this kind of learning can't be forced. You need a strong why to really dive into the mind–brain connection. For me, that why came later, when I realized how deeply understanding the brain could impact learning, teaching, and even life itself. If you're following along with this podcast, I imagine you've had a similar moment—when the connection between the brain and practical neuroscience suddenly made sense and became something worth pursuing. I'm always curious about what that moment looks like for others—what it is that makes this topic click. For me, it became clear during my very first presentation on this subject in November 2017, at a conference for the York Region School District in Toronto. The topic I was in charge of presenting was Stress, Learning, and the Brain, and the room was so full it was standing room only. This was after just three years of studying the topic myself, and when I first opened up David Souza's How the Brain Learns Series, I honestly thought this topic was over my head, and too difficult for me to understand, let alone having me teach it to others. But once there is a strong why, the way will be shown. And that day, when I saw how many people showed up to learn the topic, I knew this was the field I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to—continuing to learn, and helping others understand and apply to their lives. VIDEO 1 Click Here to Watch Now that you know where this mind-brain connection began for me, I hope you can gain clarity with why it's so important to you. Important enough that you are tuning into this podcast to learn more. Wouldn't you know it—understanding this WHY with the brain-mind connection to thrive at home, work and school and with sport is exactly what Dr. John Medina said to me during our interview back in February 2020. If you click the link in the show notes, you can watch VIDEO 1, where he explains: “I believe that the cognitive neurosciences should be at the table of education training. Before you get a Bachelor Degree in Education, you have to have a fair degree of neuroscience. And it's a very specific slice—it's the kind of neuroscience that says: this is what we know about how the brain learns. Because teachers are in charge of that. It blows me away sometimes—I look at the Colleges of Education: if you're in the Geology Department, you study rocks. If you go to Medical School, you study humans. You could argue that the world of education is all about studying the brain. Where are the courses that say—‘This is how memory works. This is how we get someone to pay attention. This is what visual processing looks like.'” Dr. Medina is 100% right. When I went through teacher training at The University of Toronto, courses like this weren't offered. Fast forward to today, and my daily work now focuses on supporting educators with the Science of Reading—a body of research that, much like SEL, took decades to gain traction but is finally reshaping classrooms and teacher training, impacting how we teach our next generation of students to read. Of course, this knowledge can't just be forced on us. It's not easy material—it requires effort to learn. But if you're listening to this podcast each week, it's because you're curious. You're willing to dig into concepts that, until recently, were reserved for medical students. That's how Dr. Douglas Fisher gained his insights into how the brain learns best. As he told me in EP 161[iv], How Learning Works: Translating the Science of Learning into Strategies for Maximum Learning in Your Classroom, he actually sat in classes with medical students to develop a deeper understanding of brain-based learning—knowledge we were never given in traditional teacher training. Key Point from Video Clip 1 from John Medina

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2715: Kyle Benson highlights three subtle yet destructive betrayals, emotional cheating, conditional love, and emotional withdrawal, that often go unrecognized in committed relationships. By exploring how everyday disloyalties erode trust and intimacy, he offers couples practical steps to rebuild connection and commitment before deeper damage takes hold. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-betrayals-ruin-relationships-arent-infidelity/ Quotes to ponder: "Anything that violates a committed relationship's contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous." "Couples that unconditionally love each other live by the motto, 'baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen.'" "Emotional withdrawal sets in when bids are ignored." Episode references: What Makes Love Last?: https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-Betrayal/dp/1451608489 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2715: Kyle Benson highlights three subtle yet destructive betrayals, emotional cheating, conditional love, and emotional withdrawal, that often go unrecognized in committed relationships. By exploring how everyday disloyalties erode trust and intimacy, he offers couples practical steps to rebuild connection and commitment before deeper damage takes hold. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-betrayals-ruin-relationships-arent-infidelity/ Quotes to ponder: "Anything that violates a committed relationship's contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous." "Couples that unconditionally love each other live by the motto, 'baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen.'" "Emotional withdrawal sets in when bids are ignored." Episode references: What Makes Love Last?: https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-Betrayal/dp/1451608489 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on One Life Radio, Dr. DeWone Bennett joins Bernadette to talk about "Things I'm Seeing In My Practice" - ‘Work Anxiety!' and how it affects us in different stages of life. Dr. Bennett gives some great advice on how to navigate and things to be aware of; like AI and how it could have an effect on your job or your career choice.Dr. Bennett has over ten years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and counseling supervisor. Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance.    As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, DeWone continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. You can find and learn more about Dr. DeWone Bennett on dbennettcounseling.com.

Did you know that how you handle conflict is one of the biggest predictors of divorce? It's true. Dr. Gottman found multiple behaviors couples have in conflict that predict divorce. In this episode I discuss what those are and the top 4 conflict resolution mistakes to avoid.

Dating requires intention and skill, whether you're looking for fun or seeking a lifelong partnership. Marriage and family therapist Stacey Hubbard joins us to share her Gottman-based approach for singles navigating the relationship landscape.• Building friendship first is crucial when dating - take things slowly and watch for signs of trustworthiness• The honeymoon phase typically lasts 6-18 months with feel-good chemicals making us more trusting• Understanding the three phases of relationships: limerence (honeymoon), trust-building, and commitment• Many couples skip from honeymoon phase to commitment without properly building trust• Trust indicators include honesty, transparency, proof of alliance, ethical actions, and accountability• Develop a "positive habit of mind" by scanning for what's good rather than focusing on flaws• Successful couples dedicate at least six hours a week to their relationship• Focus on "unique value" (personality, values, interests) rather than just "mate value" (physical attraction)Check out the Lessons in Love for Singles workshop at gottman.com under the singles dropdown, or visit staceyhubbard.com for more resources.Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast Welcome to the Fit, Healthy and Happy Podcast hosted by Josh and Kyle from Colossus...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2694: The Gottman Editorial Team breaks down the four parenting styles based on emotional responsiveness, showing how each approach influences a child's emotional growth. Discover why emotion coaching stands apart and how tuning into your child's feelings can build stronger bonds, healthier communication, and lifelong emotional resilience. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-parenting-styles/ Quotes to ponder: "Emotion coaching parents value negative emotions as an opportunity for intimacy." "Laissez-faire parents accept all emotions but fail to guide or set limits on behavior." "Disapproving parents are critical of their children's emotional expressions and may punish them for emotional displays." Episode references: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Emotionally-Intelligent-Child-Parents/dp/0684838656 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2694: The Gottman Editorial Team breaks down the four parenting styles based on emotional responsiveness, showing how each approach influences a child's emotional growth. Discover why emotion coaching stands apart and how tuning into your child's feelings can build stronger bonds, healthier communication, and lifelong emotional resilience. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-parenting-styles/ Quotes to ponder: "Emotion coaching parents value negative emotions as an opportunity for intimacy." "Laissez-faire parents accept all emotions but fail to guide or set limits on behavior." "Disapproving parents are critical of their children's emotional expressions and may punish them for emotional displays." Episode references: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Emotionally-Intelligent-Child-Parents/dp/0684838656 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

**Special note to our listeners** Love the show? Help us keep the conversation going! Become a paid subscriber through our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Your contributions help us continue to make content on issues related to the Asian-American, immigrant, modern parent experience.THANK YOU to our super awesome listeners who have already signed up!------------------------------------------------Now that we've all officially turned 40, we're wrapping up this series by reflecting on the lessons we've learned. Here's the TLDR of Part 1 (but of course, you'll have to listen to get the juicy bits :p ).Relationships (romantic relationships and friendships): - If someone doesn't treat you well in a relationship, the cause is roughly as likely to be their own baggage as it is yours.- Sometimes you're attracted to someone for the wrong reasons (you're projecting your issues on them, you want to "save" them)- Working on yourself and pursuing the things you want and love are probably the best path to finding a good partner.- At some point in a romantic relationship, you might want to get the Eight Dates book by Gottman and have those critical conversations before investing further.- It's ok if not everyone likes you. You can (and probably should) consider their perspectives but you don't have to be a slave to them.- Boundaries can be a form of care for yourself and others in that they keep relationships sustainable. They acknowledge that everyone has limits.- Sometimes, when you see people struggling, they may not want or need a "fix" at that time. They may need someone to just be with them, listen to them or give them space.Career and work outside of family:- Try to get more clarity early on in your real interests, goals and motivations.- A sizeable chunk of career decisions and issues (risk taking, financial considerations, building relationships with peers and senior people) may be traced back to your personal issues.

In this deep dive conversation I sit down with Dr. Eva Brown to discuss many shadow aspects that arise in her work with married couples. Eva breaks down her structured therapy system that takes couples on a journey through the roots of their personal and generational trauma in order to heal relationtional dynamics that show up in marriage.  We cover everything from childhood trauma, to addiction, to infidelity, to narcassism, to abusive patterns and how to break free from these challenges in relationship. You'll walk away with a much deeper understanding of why these patterns unfold and what you can do to fix them. .... Dr. Eva has been teaching, guiding, and mentoring individuals, couples, and families in private practice for over a decade (30,000+ hours of 1 on 1 coaching). She offers much more than the basic relationship tweak, intimacy hack or communication tip, although “all of that” is part of her work, too. Her work carries extraordinary depth so the people most attracted to her work want the whole Sha-Bang! Her magic is making all things “healthy relating” simple, easy, and tangible to contemplate and integrate overtime.  She is known for her signature methodology “Conscious Relationship Mapping™” which is woven throughout all of her offerings, including the Sacred Partners Membership. Her traditional training was completed at Nova Southeastern University where she received her master's & Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is Gottman 1 & 2 certified, and her work is both trauma and research informed.  Her mission is to help couples create a “Love Legacy” that stands the test of time, is deeply fulfilling and devoted to love. Take the 3 Types of Couples Dynamics Quiz: https://sacredlifepartners.com/couple-quiz/ Website: https://sacredlifepartners.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sacredpartners/?hl=en

Hey friends - today we're diving into something that might rattle you a little: Dr. John Gottman's research shows that 69% of the issues in a marriage are never fully resolved. Ever. So what do you do when the same fights keep showing up on repeat? Is it normal? Is it toxic? Is it you? In this podcast mini, I'm breaking down what the 69% actually means, how to spot the difference between annoying quirks and soul-crushing patterns, and what to do when your partner says they'll change… but never does. You'll walk away with gut-check questions, clarity, and maybe a permission slip or two. It's real. It's deep. And it's time to talk to my younger self.   Connect with me, I'd love any suggestions for future episodes. Email: listenupyoungerself@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heather.solomon.14 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherslmn/

The real-life signs it’s time for a relationship reset plus expert advice on how to bring the spark back. In this episode, we’re diving into the subtle (and not-so-subtle) clues that it might be time to bring fresh energy back into your relationship. I’m sharing the real-life signs listeners have told me signalled they needed a reset; from quiet disconnection, to small habits that slowly chip away at closeness, along with research-backed insights and practical tips from leading relationship experts, including the Gottman's and psychotherapist Lissy Abrahams. Whether you’ve been together a few years or a few decades, this episode is a compassionate, no-judgement space to reflect, reconnect, and explore what’s possible when you decide your relationship deserves a refresh. Access EXCLUSIVE & AD FREE EPISODES here: apple.co/iam Be part of the inner circle on Sunroom @kylielately Follow me on IG @kylielately & TikTok @kylielatelySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2674: David and Constantino Khalaf explore how healthy dependence, rather than complete self-reliance, can foster deeper intimacy and emotional connection in relationships. By shifting from “I'll do it myself” to “How can we do this together?”, couples can strengthen their bonds through vulnerability, mutual influence, and intentional acts of connection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/healthy-dependence-healthy-relationships/ Quotes to ponder: "Depending on others is part of our genetic makeup, our emotional dependence on loved ones remains strong." "Being depended on helps Constantino feel that he is appreciated and useful in our marriage rather than feeling left out or neglected." "Even if David can assert his independence, it doesn't always mean he should." Episode references: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2674: David and Constantino Khalaf explore how healthy dependence, rather than complete self-reliance, can foster deeper intimacy and emotional connection in relationships. By shifting from “I'll do it myself” to “How can we do this together?”, couples can strengthen their bonds through vulnerability, mutual influence, and intentional acts of connection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/healthy-dependence-healthy-relationships/ Quotes to ponder: "Depending on others is part of our genetic makeup, our emotional dependence on loved ones remains strong." "Being depended on helps Constantino feel that he is appreciated and useful in our marriage rather than feeling left out or neglected." "Even if David can assert his independence, it doesn't always mean he should." Episode references: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, certified marriage coach, Kameran Alareqi breaks down the real reasons why you're not being heard in your relationship. Whether you're the partner who feels misunderstood or the one accused of "never listening," this episode is packed with research-based insights and practical tools that will help you finally get on the same page.We'll explore how attachment styles, trauma, and nervous system regulation play a huge role in communication breakdown, how emotional pain actually mimics physical pain in the brain, and what's really happening when conversations turn into conflict—or worse, silence.

Renowned relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman share valuable and actionable insights on building stronger emotional connections and enhancing intimacy. With decades of research in the field of relationships, the Gottmans explain how to foster trust, improve communication, and deepen your bond with your partner. Listen to the full episode here - Spotify: https://g2ul0.app.link/rbGkCfGhTUb Apple: https://g2ul0.app.link/K40py7KhTUb⁠ Watch the Episodes On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/%20TheDiaryOfACEO/videos The Gottmans: https://www.gottman.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we delve into the universal challenges of parenting conflicts, exploring how core values and meta-emotion mismatches can escalate disagreements. We discuss research findings from Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Nancy Eisenberg, offering insights into managing these conflicts and aligning parenting styles for the well-being of children.Key Points:Top three conflicts among couples with young children: chores, money, and parenting. The Impact of Divorce on Parenting Disagreements and Ongoing Conflicts. Understanding meta-emotion mismatches and their role in predicting divorce. Dr. Eisenberg's research on emotional socialization and parenting styles. The importance of aligning parenting styles to foster emotional intelligence in children.Join us next week for part two, where we'll dive into practical solutions using Gottman's Dreams Within Conflict method to align your parenting approach. Connect with UsEmail: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com – Reach out for coaching, share wins, or pitch episode ideas.Instagram: @masteryourmarriage – Daily tips, behind-the-scenes reels, and a healthy dose of Snow-family humor.Reviews Matter! If this episode sparked an aha moment, drop a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and send it to a friend who could use a vision upgrade.Feedback Corner: Thought of a topic we haven't covered? Hit reply—your ideas shape future shows.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2650: Understanding jealousy through April Eldemire's insights helps transform it from a destructive force into a path for deeper connection. By identifying personal vulnerabilities, communicating openly, and setting healthy boundaries, partners can build greater trust and intimacy. Listening offers valuable guidance on turning difficult emotions into opportunities for growth and resilience in relationships. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-do-we-get-jealous-in-relationships/ Quotes to ponder: "I believe that every person has areas of enduring vulnerability. For a marriage to succeed, these vulnerabilities need to be understood and honored." "Feelings aren't facts. Are you imagining things that aren't really there?" "Show one another how much you value each other by putting your relationship before your work, your coworkers, and your friends." Episode references: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (for the “spaces in your togetherness” quote): https://www.amazon.com/Prophet-Kahlil-Gibran/dp/0394404289 Daring Greatly: https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2650: Understanding jealousy through April Eldemire's insights helps transform it from a destructive force into a path for deeper connection. By identifying personal vulnerabilities, communicating openly, and setting healthy boundaries, partners can build greater trust and intimacy. Listening offers valuable guidance on turning difficult emotions into opportunities for growth and resilience in relationships. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-do-we-get-jealous-in-relationships/ Quotes to ponder: "I believe that every person has areas of enduring vulnerability. For a marriage to succeed, these vulnerabilities need to be understood and honored." "Feelings aren't facts. Are you imagining things that aren't really there?" "Show one another how much you value each other by putting your relationship before your work, your coworkers, and your friends." Episode references: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (for the “spaces in your togetherness” quote): https://www.amazon.com/Prophet-Kahlil-Gibran/dp/0394404289 Daring Greatly: https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore the art of giving feedback. Reflecting on the discomfort of receiving harsh feedback, they present two effective strategies for providing constructive criticism without triggering defensive reactions— the Positive Feedback Sandwich and the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) technique. Alongside discussing research insights from Gottman and the Harvard Business Review, the hosts offer practical examples and scenarios to illustrate these strategies in action, aiming to improve communication and relationships.  Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts :  Dr. John Gottman Resources : Harvard Business Review Tools :  Positive Feedback Sandwich (Mary Kay Ash) 3-part formula: Positive comment Constructive feedback Positive/supportive closing SBI Tool - Situation, Behavior, Impact (Center for Creative Leadership) Situation – When/where the behavior happened. Behavior – What the person did (specific & observable). Impact – How it affected you or others.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2633: Kyle Benson unpacks how shifting from criticism to expressing vulnerable wishes can dramatically improve conflict resolution in relationships. By identifying the underlying needs beneath frustration, couples foster deeper emotional connection and transform arguments into moments of intimacy and understanding. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/transforming-criticism-into-wishes-a-recipe-for-successful-conflict/ Quotes to ponder: "You are such a baby. You interrupt me and then walk out of the room, which makes me feel like the bad guy. No wonder I don't want to have a baby!" "I want to be able to speak with you about how I feel about having a baby right now without you leaving the room or getting upset with me before I'm done talking." "I want us to discuss issues calmly without either of us raising our voices. That's what I need to stay in the room and truly listen to you." Episode references: Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) by Stan Tatkin: https://thepactinstitute.com/what-is-pact/ Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2633: Kyle Benson unpacks how shifting from criticism to expressing vulnerable wishes can dramatically improve conflict resolution in relationships. By identifying the underlying needs beneath frustration, couples foster deeper emotional connection and transform arguments into moments of intimacy and understanding. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/transforming-criticism-into-wishes-a-recipe-for-successful-conflict/ Quotes to ponder: "You are such a baby. You interrupt me and then walk out of the room, which makes me feel like the bad guy. No wonder I don't want to have a baby!" "I want to be able to speak with you about how I feel about having a baby right now without you leaving the room or getting upset with me before I'm done talking." "I want us to discuss issues calmly without either of us raising our voices. That's what I need to stay in the room and truly listen to you." Episode references: Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) by Stan Tatkin: https://thepactinstitute.com/what-is-pact/ Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transform Your Relationship at Our July 2025 Retreat! Blake and I are hosting an intimate couples retreat in Oakbrook, Illinois (July 25–27, 2025), where we'll share the exact tools that saved our marriage! Nestled at a serene golf resort, this weekend includes: Practical Workshops: Master the FANO Method, Gottman's anti-criticism tools, and ADHD-friendly communication. Soulful Exercises: Guided meditations to deepen your emotional and spiritual connection. Personal Coaching: Direct support from us to address your unique struggles. Limited to 5 more couples!