Podcasts about gottman

Send us Fan MailFinding Meaning Through Viktor Frankl, Chabad Chassidus & TherapyIn this episode of From The Inside Out Podcast with Rivkah Krinsky and Eda Schottenstein, we interview Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, a therapist and author of "Viktor Frankl and the Psychology of the Soul," about integrating CBT, marriage/family therapy, Viktor Frankl's logotherapy, and Chabad Chassidus. Schonbuch explains Frankl's core idea that humans are driven by meaning, not pleasure or power, and outlines three ways to find meaning: purposeful work, love/experience, and changing one's attitude when suffering can't be avoided. He describes creating TorahPsychology.org, holding Hakhel conferences inspired by the Rebbe's encouragement and a message sent to Frankl, and using a 30-day logotherapy workbook to reduce depression and anxiety. The conversation also covers shared meaning in marriage, rising divorce and estrangement, parenting tools (I=QR, connection/communication/reduced control), reflective listening, trauma and meaning, and incorporating Mitteler Rebbe  teachings and “Tracht gut vet zein gut.”EPISODE SPONSORSYakira BellaYakira Bella is a modest, beautiful clothing brand with dresses that look and feel like designer pieces — elegant, well-made, and made to move with you all night — without the designer price tag. Their pieces get noticed and get compliments every time, and they're proud to be a brand featured on our podcast. Check out the link in our show notes. 

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) - Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com Episode 3125: Anita Chlipala explains how couples drift from loving talk into logistical talk without noticing, and offers ten open-ended questions that reopen the conversation, covering childhood memories, unmet needs, private worries, unfulfilled dreams, and physical intimacy. She notes that the couples who stay connected are simply deliberate about it, setting aside twenty distraction-free minutes and letting themselves be vulnerable rather than staging grand gestures. It is small, repeatable relationship advice for keeping a marriage close over the long run. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-questions-happy-couples-constantly-asking-one-another/ Quotes to ponder: "Too many couples become emotionally disconnected and they never saw it coming." "Let yourself be vulnerable. It's a pathway to intimacy and it helps you build and maintain trust." "Intimacy suffers when people stay focused on the things that aren't going well or take the good things for granted." Optimal Relationships Daily is a daily relationship advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on healthy relationships, dating, marriage, and parenting, read to you by a professional narrator so you can strengthen your closest connections a little more every day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We sit down with marriage and family therapist Sonnet Hinsey to talk about premarital education as prevention, not therapy for people in trouble. We break down the Five Love Languages, Gottman-inspired connection habits, and simple action plans that help couples stay close when the “in love” high shifts into real life. • why prevention work matters before conflict hardens into patterns • how RELATE and READY assessments create clarity and shared language • what keeps premarital education from feeling scary or stigmatized • the Five Love Languages and why couples “miss the mark” with good intentions • building a concrete love language action plan that actually gets used • Gottman concepts that strengthen friendship, fondness and daily connection • bids for connection and why small responses matter more than grand gestures • budgeting and money talks as part of preparing for marriage • simple CBT tools for handling triggers and communicating needs • Sonnet's online love languages date night and follow-up supports Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book StoreWritten by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduceThe opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org  Podcast.stongermarriage.orgYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLifeTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelifeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.comhttp://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

Why does it feel like nothing actually gets resolved even after you've calmed down?You've named the cycle. You've caught the flood before it swept you under. You've slowed down enough to see the story your brain was telling you. But there's still one more step nobody talks about — going back in. This week, Jill closes out the "Why You Keep Having the Same Fight" series with The Conversation: a simple, four-question framework for coming back to a hard conversation with clarity instead of chaos.Using Mark and Christy's story one final time, Jill walks through what it actually looks like to sit back down after a rupture — not to relitigate who was right, but to understand each other. She unpacks why "acting normal again" isn't repair, why silence lets resentment go underground, and why the goal was never a fight-free marriage in the first place. It was always this: learning how to find your way back.In This Episode:- The four questions that turn a conversation from circular to clear: What are we actually talking about? What are we trying to accomplish? What was happening in your model? What's underneath this?- Why skipping straight to the "topic" keeps you stuck in the same fight- What Mark and Christy discovered was underneath 100 different arguments about 100 different things- Why real repair is small, specific, and frequent — not one perfect conversation- The Gottman research on repair attempts and relationship stability- How to have this conversation even if you're the only one showing up for itKey Takeaways:Repair isn't the absence of conflict — it's what you do after. And you don't need your spouse, sister, or friend to be doing this work alongside you for your half of it to matter. When you change how you move in the cycle, the whole cycle has to reorganize.This episode closes out the four-part series "Why You Keep Having the Same Fight." If you're just joining, start with Episode 160 to hear the whole arc — from naming the cycle to flooding to the stories underneath to this: coming back to the table.Keywords: relationship repair, marriage conflict, Gottman method, communication in marriage, emotional flooding, Christian marriage advice, recurring conflict, nervous system and relationships FREE: The 4 Mindset Shifts for a Happier MarriageReady to stop waiting for your husband to change and start focusing on how you want to show up in your marriage? Get the free mini-course + workbook and Scripture study here:myhappyvault.comDiscover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.comQuestions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

Why do I shut down — or can't stop talking — when things get heated?You understood the conversation before it started. You knew what you wanted to say. And then something happened — your brain went offline, your words came out wrong, or nothing came out at all. You walked away wondering why you couldn't just hold it together.That's not a character flaw. That's flooding. And until you understand what it's actually doing to your body, it's almost impossible to change what happens next.In this episode, Jill breaks down the neuroscience of emotional flooding, why productive conversation becomes nearly impossible once it hits, and why it doesn't always look the way you think. The loud version is easy to spot. The quiet version — the one that looks like calm, like two people who just don't fight — that one's trickier. And just as worth paying attention to.You'll walk away understanding your own flooding signature and with a practical five-step Flood Plan you can use before your brain shuts down and your mouth takes over.In This EpisodeWhat emotional flooding is and what it does to your brain and bodyThe four flooding responses: fight, flight, freeze, and shutdownWhy the quiet version of flooding is the easiest to missHow to identify your personal flooding signatureThe five steps of the Flood PlanHow the first two steps of the FEEL method help you find and stay with emotion in real timeKey TakeawaysFlooding is physiological — once it hits, your brain literally cannot do what you're asking it to doShutdown looks like calm but it's still floodingA pause only works if both people trust you're coming backThe person who calls the timeout re-initiates — within 30 minutes to 24 hoursRegulation means feeling the emotion, not replaying the argumentSeries Note This is Episode 2 of the four-part series Why You Keep Having the Same Fight. Start with Episode 160 if you haven't already.Keywords emotional flooding, conflict in marriage, nervous system regulation, Gottman method, communication in relationships, Christian marriage podcast FREE: The 4 Mindset Shifts for a Happier MarriageReady to stop waiting for your husband to change and start focusing on how you want to show up in your marriage? Get the free mini-course + workbook and Scripture study here:myhappyvault.comDiscover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.comQuestions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

Qué hace que una relación dure de verdad? ¿Es el amor, la comunicación, la paciencia… o hay algo más detrás de las parejas que logran permanecer juntas durante décadas?En este episodio de Dos Cabras Locas nos metemos de lleno en uno de los temas que más nos preguntan: el amor y las relaciones a largo plazo. Hablamos de qué hace que una pareja sea realmente sólida, de los errores que pueden llevar una relación al fracaso y de si el amor realmente está hecho para durar para siempre.00:00 Intro02:06 ¿El amor tiene que durar para siempre?04:25 El test para saber cómo está tu relación07:19 ¿Cuál es el verdadero secreto de una relación duradera?09:27 La verdad que puede salvarte años de una relación10:37 ¿Aguantar es realmente la clave para durar?11:51 El amor no es magia: es una decisión13:47 Dejar de idealizar a tu pareja16:08 ¿Las parejas duran porque perdonan infidelidades?20:41 El hombre que puede predecir un divorcio21:58 Los 4 comportamientos que pueden destruir una relación28:12 La regla 5:1 para una relación saludable29:02 ¿Cuánto dura realmente el enamoramiento?30:36 El contacto físico también mantiene vivo el amor32:22 Las claves científicas para que una relación dure34:02 Cómo criticar sin atacar a tu pareja36:30 ¿Por qué repetimos las cosas hasta explotar?37:14 No hay que eliminar los conflictos, hay que aprender a manejarlos38:24 La vulnerabilidad: lo que más cuesta mostrar39:48 Cuando se pierde la admiración, ¿se pierde el deseo?40:55 ¿Hay que luchar por una relación para siempre?42:07 Lo que podemos aprender incluso antes de enamorarnosREFERENCIAS Y FUENTESJohn GottmanGottman, J. & Silver, N. (2012). Siete reglas de oro para vivir en pareja. Debolsillo.Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2013). ¿Qué hace que el amor perdure? Debolsillo.Psicología y Mente (2025). Método Gottman de Terapia de Pareja. https://psicologiaymente.com/pareja/metodo-gottman-terapia-parejaAtlas Psicología (2025). Los 4 jinetes del apocalipsis: señales de alarma en tu relación. https://atlaspsicologia.com/los-4-jinetes-del-apocalipsis-senales-de-alarma-en-tu-relacion/Helen FisherFisher, H. (2004). Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. Henry Holt.Fisher, H. (2006). Why we love, why we cheat. TED Talk. https://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_why_we_love_why_we_cheatiNeurociencias (2020). Helen Fisher y la neurociencia del amor. https://ineurociencias.org/helen-fisher-neuroscience/Infobae (2026). A dos años de su muerte, las definiciones de Helen Fisher sobre el amor. https://www.infobae.com/tendencias/2026/04/02/a-dos-anos-de-su-muerte-las-definiciones-de-helen-fisher-sobre-amor-y-engano/Sue JohnsonJohnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown and Company.Psicólogo Integral (2025). La ciencia descubre la magia del amor. https://psicologointegral.com/puede-la-ciencia-descifrar-magia-amor/Arthur AronAron, A. et al. (1997). The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363–377.Acavir (2026). Las 36 preguntas de Arthur Aron: ciencia detrás de conectar emocionalmente. https://www.acavir.com/articulos/las-36-preguntas-de-arthur-aron-ciencia-detras-de-conectar-emocionalmente

The first 30 seconds of a hard conversation predict how it ends — with 96 percent accuracy. In Part 3 of the Being Heard series, Ron breaks down Dr. John Gottman's research on "hard startups" versus "softened startups," and what it means for the hardest conversations men rebuilding after loss are facing right now — with grown children, with people who knew her, and with the story that shows up at 2 a.m. telling you that wanting to be happy again is a betrayal. This episode reframes the goal of a hard conversation: not to be right, but to be heard — and that starts with how you open the door.

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) - Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3102: David and Constantino Khalaf share four ways to stay connected when a life transition pulls a couple apart: scheduling couple time, taking turns giving and receiving love, building small rituals, and forgiving quickly. They explain why couple time is usually the first thing to go in a stressful season, and how tiny habits keep intimacy alive when there is no time for anything bigger. It is grounded marriage advice for staying close while everything else is changing. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-ways-to-stay-connected-during-life-transitions/ Quotes to ponder: "Life transitions are like tides that can overwhelm even the strongest of marriages." "When transitions disrupt our schedules and routines, the first thing to go is usually couple time." "A willingness to forgive quickly is a repair attempt that helps to avoid the petty conflicts that might further distance us from each other during stressful times." Optimal Relationships Daily is a daily relationship advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on healthy relationships, dating, marriage, and family, read to you by a professional narrator so you can strengthen your closest connections a little more every day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most relationship fights are unsolvable, yet crucial for connection. This book summary reveals how to transform conflict into deeper intimacy.

Send us Fan MailThere's one small habit — noticed decades ago by researchers watching married couples through a one-way mirror — that predicts, with startling accuracy, whether a relationship lasts or falls apart. It's not about how often you fight. It's not about compatibility. It's about a handful of tiny, easy-to-miss moments every single day — and whether you show up for them. This week, we're breaking down the research behind it, what it looks like in real life, and one simple habit you can start today.Quote of the week:"Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer." — Dr. Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult DevelopmentCitations:·       Gottman, J. (research from The Love Lab, University of Washington); Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J., The Relationship Cure; Gottman, J., The Love Prescription·       Waldinger, R., The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness; Harvard Study of Adult Development (adultdevelopmentstudy.org)Let's go, let's get it done.Get more information at: http://projectweightloss.org

Grief has its own first thirty seconds. Research on hard conversations shows the opening moment predicts how the whole thing ends — and this episode of Rewrite The Story breaks down what that means for the man rebuilding his life after loss. Ron shares the rideshare conversation that became the reason he wrote his book, and the shift between opening a hard conversation with blame or armor versus opening it honest. 0:00 Welcome 1:15 The research behind the first 30 seconds 4:00 The two defaults men default to 6:30 The rideshare passenger story 9:45 Applying it to grief and rebuilding 12:00 This week's practice Get the book that started this show: https://books.by/simplified-uplifters-publishing Join the free community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/simplifieduplifterscommunity More at simplifieduplifters.com What does your "first thirty seconds" usually sound like — armor, blame, or honest? #GriefRecovery #WidowerSupport #RewriteTheStory #MensGrief #HealingAfterLoss And most important — remember, you are extraordinary. Rewrite The Story, Ron Simplified Myers, widower grief, men's grief, rebuilding after loss, grief recovery for men, widower support, healing after loss, hard conversations after loss, Gottman research, softened startup, grief and communication, talking to kids after loss, moving on after loss, widower dating, first 30 seconds conversation

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) - Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2132: Christopher Dollard shares how a simple assertive communication formula, starting with "I feel" and "I need," transformed his relationship with a difficult manager. He explains how giving feedback this way keeps the other person from getting defensive and builds healthier working relationships, a piece of career advice that pays off far beyond the workplace. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/effective-feedback-workplace/ Quotes to ponder: "Because I used this assertive style, my manager listened and didn't get defensive." "In the months that followed, my manager not only treated me with more respect and offered more constructive feedback and direction, but our conversation also caused that manager to treat other employees the same way." "When we did fight, we fought in a healthy way." Optimal Work Daily is a daily career advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on productivity, entrepreneurship, and work-life balance, read to you by a professional narrator so you can grow your career a little more every day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I review Dr. John and Julie Gottman's marriage and love advice. To access the sources for this episode, visit:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKx1x6BNqYo&t=765sTo become a subscriber of this podcast, visit:⁠⁠https://anchor.fm/seth-hensley/subscribe⁠

Every Saturday he spends thirty minutes printing one photo and writing on the back of it. His kids will have those notes for the rest of their lives.   It's one of the practices Jon Vroman is best known for around here, and the whole thing fits in a sentence: catch them doing the right thing, then make a record of it. The reasoning is solid. Peter Drucker said great leadership brings out strengths until weaknesses stop mattering. John Gottman can predict divorce with about ninety percent accuracy largely from the ratio of positive to negative interactions, and the related research landed near three positives for every one negative. So the mission isn't to point out where people are failing. It's to amplify the good loudly enough that it quiets the rest.   IN THIS CLIP: - The research behind it: Drucker on strengths, Gottman on the ratio, and the three-to-one line - The ritual itself: one photo a week, printed, with a handwritten note on the back - What he actually wrote to his son about missing the ball and trying again - Why he started doing it for his wife too - The neighbor's six-year-old who came to apologize, and what Jon did instead of just accepting it - Why fatherhood means mentoring young humans anywhere, not only your own kids  

Looking for further guidance and support on ADHD Women's Wellbeing? Check out my resource library here or search for any topic you need on the Podcast here.Whether you've been with your partner for years or you're navigating dating after a late diagnosis, ADHD changes how we love, connect and show up in relationships, and this episode is entirely about that.Welcome to this week's summer compilation episode. Rather than a single conversation, I've pulled together some of the most resonant clips from three different episodes on ADHD, love, intimacy and relationships, because I wanted to bring all of this into one place for you.We begin with Lisa Rabinowitz, couples counsellor, certified Gottman and PACT therapist and author of Why Won't You Stop Interrupting Me? Lisa talks about how blame rarely helps either partner, why neurodivergence is often present on both sides of a relationship, and how working as a team rather than against each other can genuinely turn things around.Then we hear from Sara-Louise Ackrill and Bontle Senne, AuDHD therapists, writers, and advocates and co-authors of The ND Lovers Club. They talk about psychological safety, masking in relationships, self-disclosure, and why understanding yourself is always the foundation before you can truly connect with someone else.And we close with Dr Angela Wright, a trauma-trained clinical sexologist, sex medicine practitioner and menopause clinician, who talks honestly about how hormones, the nervous system and ADHD all intersect when it comes to desire, intimacy and what changes in midlife.In this episode, we cover:Why neurodivergence is often present in both partners, even when only one has a diagnosisHow to move from blame to teamwork in a neurodiverse relationshipLisa's concept of the "talk nook" and why having a dedicated space for connection mattersWhy psychological safety is the foundation of intimacy for neurodivergent peopleHow masking and people pleasing quietly erode intimacy over timeWhat self-disclosure in relationships and dating really looks like for ND womenWhy so many neurodivergent women are reconsidering traditional relationship structuresHow hormones and perimenopause affect desire, arousal and connectionWhy the ADHD brain's need for novelty and dopamine can complicate long term relationshipsHow the nervous system underpins sexual arousal, and why feeling safe comes firstTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and introduction to this week's compilation episode03:30 - Lisa Rabinowitz: why both partners are often neurodivergent05:47 - Moving from blame to understanding in a neurodiverse relationship08:00 - How couples come back from the brink with awareness and teamwork10:15 - The three legged race: working toward the finish line together14:48 - Focusing on strengths and creating the talk nook16:29 - Sara-Louise Ackrill and Bontle Senne: psychological safety in relationships20:53 - Why masking is survival, not a quirky personality trait23:27 - Self-disclosure: what to share, when and why28:27 - How perimenopause and diagnosis collide in midlife relationships33:04 - Celebrating the traits neurodivergent women bring to relationships34:33 - Dr Angela Wright: dopamine, novelty and desire in long term relationships37:00 - How hormones affect arousal and what changes in perimenopause41:22 - The nervous system, safety and why emergency mode kills desireLinks and Resources:Find my popular ADHD workshops and resources on my website here.Follow the podcast on Instagram: @adhd_womenswellbeing_podGet my book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit (also available in ebook and audiobook) hereJoin the More Yourself membership community hereVisit Lisa's website: counselorforcouples.comConnect with Lisa on Instagram: @rabinowitzcounselingGet Lisa's book: Why Won't You Stop Interrupting Me? Simple Solutions for ADHD CouplesVisit Sara-Louise and Bontle's website: builttodiverge.comGet their book: The ND Lovers Club: How Neurodivergent Women Lust, Like and LoveVisit Dr Angela Wright's website: spicedpearhealth.co.ukKate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach, author and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.

Today I am in conversation with Olga Berg — a linguist, former U.S. government interpreter, and humanitarian coordinator — about her shift from high-stakes diplomatic interpretation to frontline crisis response during the Ukraine war, and her current AI venture. In the first days of the Ukrainian war, Olga was part of a group that co-founded the Ukrainian Medical Consortium. The crisis work began with youth evacuation: she coordinated the evacuation of 50+ Ukrainian youth to the UK and Austria in the first days of the war; one evacuee now works for Olga. For medical aid coordination the group partnered with the Polish Institute of Emergency Medicine to register the newly founded Ukrainian Medical Consortium rapidly, leveraging the institute's established credibility. Parallel they initiated an orthopedic surgery collaboration: they paired U.S. surgeons (via Northwell Health) with Ukrainian surgeons via telemedicine and procured specialized equipment including secondhand CRM X-rays. A key focus was tactical medicine training: Olga ran the only internationally certified tactical medicine program for civilians in Ukraine for 2+ years, training thousands. Olga shares how this all came at personal costs, the work for her resulted in severe burnout, PTSD, and her divorce. She described this phase as 20 months of sleeping four hours a day. But what she said was so fascinating and positive despite all the despair, how people in crisis know what to do, they show knowledge, taking over responsibilities - no questions asked, and communication was clear, precise and no words waisted. This intense experience and her earlier professional career lead her to co-found the DarcyCode, a behavioral linguistic intelligence engine designed to improve human communication precision. It works as a deterministic logic layer ("behavioral linguistic intelligence engine") that sits on top of LLMs (GPT, Claude, etc.) to interpret human behavioral speech patterns. Her start up is inspired by the Gottman 1983 study: where micro-conflict resolution in conversation predicted divorce rate with 93% accuracy — the same principle is actually applied to team survival. ### To learn more about Olga Berg and the DarcyCode, please go to her website and follow her on social media: @olgabergny linkedin.com/in/olga-berg-9aa44416 ### To learn more about SHIFT HAPPENS, click here  To learn more about Claudia's business SHIFT HAPPENS.Curated Conversations and her Salons in New York, Zurich and Berlin, click here You can also connect with Claudia on Instagram @shifthappens.podcast and LinkedIn at ClaudiaMahlerNYC This podcast is created, produced and hosted by Claudia Mahler.

Jon Gustin is the founder of Tired Dad, a community of more than 2 million followers built on one honest premise: parenting is only hard for good parents. A former personal trainer of 14 years who started making short videos during the sleepless newborn stretch of 2020, he became one of the first men online talking openly about the mental load of fatherhood. He co-hosts the Tired Dad and Tired Mom podcasts with his wife Jessica and released his book The Tired Dad: 100 Reflections on Showing Up for What Matters Most in May. Larry and Jon get into the exhaustion that comes from doing the work right, both of their fathers coming home from Vietnam unable to talk about it, the rebellion and loss that followed Jon's parents' divorce, and the ego death that pulled his marriage out of the roommate phase. If you're tired in the best way possible and still wondering whether you're doing a good job, this conversation is for you.   Timeline Summary [1:02] – Parenting is only hard for good parents, and why tired means invested [3:19] – Tired from parenting, not tired of parenting [6:23] – How the newborn stretch of 2020 accidentally birthed Tired Dad [8:10] – Nobody was talking about the mental load of fatherhood, so Jon did [12:16] – The Justin Gustin problem and Larry's own Hagman mixup [13:29] – Full introduction: 2 million followers, two podcasts, and the book [16:54] – Growing up the baby of the family with siblings seven and eight years older [20:18] – A Vietnam veteran father, a World War Two grandfather, and night terrors that never left [21:55] – Watching your dad go from Superman to human during the divorce [26:38] – Running from it: partying, drugs, theft, and total chaos at 14 [28:26] – Losing friends to overdoses and deciding to get out [29:48] – Moving to Tennessee, meeting Jessica, and marrying 11 months later [34:08] – The Gottman research and why only 12% of marriages truly thrive [36:27] – Marry the right person for the right reasons, because marriage fixes nothing [37:59] – Postpartum, the roommate phase, and the darkest stretch of their marriage [40:56] – Killing the ego and why keeping score breeds resentment [43:48] – Getting sober three and a half years ago and what changed [46:42] – Ego death without becoming a doormat or a nice guy [48:55] – Eliminate the guessing and learn what your wife actually needs [52:42] – Inside the book: the weight fathers carry and the mantra to keep showing up [54:47] – Wearing exhaustion as a badge of honor versus being the healed version of you [57:18] – Legacy, being a home worth coming back to, and the 3am call   5 Key Takeaways Tired Means You're Doing It Right — If parenting feels hard and exhausting, that's evidence you care enough to invest in it. You're tired from the work, not of it. Marriage Fixes Nothing — Your partner isn't responsible for healing your wounds and you aren't responsible for healing theirs. Two people can both do their own work and build something great, but expecting rescue guarantees misery. The Ego Is a Heavy Backpack — Keeping score is the breeding ground for resentment. Dropping the ego means asking how you can help the situation, not tallying what you're not getting. Ego Death Is Not Becoming a Doormat — Killing the ego doesn't mean happy wife, happy life, or becoming a yes man. It means eliminating the guessing, expressing your own needs clearly, and understanding hers. Be the Healed Version, Not the Broken One — Carrying exhaustion proudly while running on empty leaves you injured at the end of the road. The goal is showing up tired but well, in shape for the job.   Links & Resources Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1508 Join the Dad Edge Alliance (July promo: signed book, two courses, 50 conversation starters): https://thedadedge.com/join Dad Edge Boardroom Goal Setting Intensive (July 31, 8am central): https://thedadedge.com/goals The Tired Dad: 100 Reflections on Showing Up for What Matters Most by Jon Gustin: available wherever books are sold Tired Dad website: https://tireddad.com   Enjoyed This Episode? If Jon's line about being tired from parenting rather than tired of it reframed something for you, pass it along. Send this episode to a dad who's running on empty and quietly wondering if he's cut out for this, and ask yourself whether you're carrying the weight well or just carrying it. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Most marriage advice is recycled fluff.This is not.I sat down with Dr. John Gottman, the man who has spent 40+ years studying what actually makes marriages work and what destroys them.Not opinions. Not theories. Exposed-to-thousands-of-couples-in-a-research-lab findings.And what he told me?Some of it will surprise you.The couples who last, the "masters," aren't the ones who avoid conflict. They're the ones who lean into it without getting defensive. They stay curious instead of critical. They treat their spouse's complaints like information, not attacks.We also got into the stuff nobody talks about openly. Why most couples are embarrassed to discuss sex. Why compatibility is actually a myth. What commitment really looks like on a Tuesday morning when you're frustrated. And how the way you respond to "no" in the bedroom determines everything.Dr. Gottman told me that after 35 years of marriage, he still looks forward to talking to his wife at breakfast every single morning.If your marriage feels disconnected, boring, or like you're roommates, this conversation will show you why. And more importantly, what the research says you can do about it.This is one of my favorite interviews I've ever done.If you're struggling in your marriage, don't wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) — Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: ⁠⁠https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join⁠ Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3075: Kristen Manieri reflects on how a well-organized marriage gradually became more about efficiency than genuine connection, revealing why simply sharing a home isn't the same as truly being together. Drawing on insights from Gottman and marriage therapy, she shows how small moments of intentional presence can strengthen a relationship far more than checking another task off a list. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/marriage-is-more-than-checking-a-box-on-your-to-do-list/ Quotes to ponder: "Our lives are parallel but rarely intersect." "Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things." "The key word here is together, which isn't just proximity, it's presence and focus." Episode references: Peter Drucker – The Effective Executive: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-effective-executive-peter-f-drucker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Betrayal doesn't only break trust in another person; it can also rupture your trust in yourself. In this episode, Vanessa explores why betrayal can feel so psychologically disorganizing, especially when harm comes from someone or something that was supposed to feel safe. We talk about betrayal trauma, betrayal blindness, attachment injury, projection, reality testing, and why not every devastating feeling is the same kind of event. The deeper healing is not becoming harder or more armored, but learning how to grieve specifically, see more clearly, and trust yourself again.Reference Links: Jennifer Freyd — Betrayal Trauma TheoryUse for: Betrayal trauma theory; harm from someone or something a person depends on or trusts.Link: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineBT.htmlNote: Freyd's site defines betrayal trauma and includes betrayal blindness.Jennifer Freyd — Betrayal BlindnessUse for: Why people may not fully register betrayal when they depend on the person, institution, or system doing harm.Link: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineBT.htmlNote: The site describes betrayal blindness as unawareness, not-knowing, and forgetting that can preserve relationships, institutions, or systems people depend on.Jennifer Freyd — Research OverviewUse for: General background on Freyd's concepts, including betrayal trauma, betrayal blindness, DARVO, institutional betrayal, and institutional courage.Link: https://www.jjfreyd.com/about-researchNote: Helpful author/researcher page for show notes.Sue Johnson / Emotionally Focused Therapy — Attachment InjuryUse for: Attachment injury and emotionally focused therapy as a framework for repairing relational ruptures.Link: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6644242_Resolving_Attachment_Injuries_in_Couples_Using_Emotionally_Focused_Therapy_Steps_Toward_Forgiveness_and_ReconciliationNote: Makinen and Johnson's 2006 paper, Resolving Attachment Injuries in Couples Using Emotionally Focused Therapy.Emotionally Focused Therapy / Attachment-Based HealingUse for: Sue Johnson's attachment-based framework for couples, emotional connection, and secure bonding.Link: https://psychwire.com/free-resources/q-and-a/17qfr27/emotionally-focused-therapy-and-attachment-based-healingNote: Accessible overview of Sue Johnson's EFT frame.Peter Fonagy / MentalizationUse for: Mentalization as the capacity to understand behavior in terms of mental states: thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, intentions, and motivations.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7009316/Note: This article gives a clear definition of mentalization and cites Fonagy/Bateman's work.ScienceDirect — Mentalization OverviewUse for: Simple definition of mentalization as understanding one's own and others' behavior in terms of internal mental states.Link: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/mentalizationNote: Useful if producer wants a quick explanatory reference.John Gottman — Trust MetricUse for: Gottman's idea that trust can be evaluated and is central to relationship stability.Link: https://www.gottman.com/blog/trust/Note: Gottman Institute article explaining the “trust metric.”John Gottman — Trust and Betrayal MetricsUse for: Trust/betrayal metrics and the idea that small everyday moments can build or erode trust.Link: https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-makes-love-last-inside-the-love-lab/Note: Gottman Institute article referencing both trust and betrayal metrics.John Gottman — Building Trust Through AttunementUse for: Trust as built through awareness, tolerance, turning toward, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy.Link: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-3-phases-of-love/Note: Useful for the part of the episode about trust being built through consistency, attunement, and repair over time.John Bowlby / Attachment Theory OverviewUse for: Secure base, early bonds, and foundational attachment theory.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4085672/Note: Broad overview of attachment theory and Bowlby/Ainsworth foundations.Earned Secure AttachmentUse for: Adults with insecure early attachment histories developing more secure attachment through reflective and relational work.Link: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/earned-secure-attachmentNote: Use as a broad reference for earned secure attachment. If producer needs a primary citation, ask for access to the Adult Attachment Interview / Mary Main literature.For educational purposes only. This isn't therapy.If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.Additional ResourcesExplore: VanessaBennett.comBook: The Motherhood MythCommunity: Inner Compass CollectiveTraining: Inner Compass AcademyConnect with Inner CompassFollow on InstagramConnect with Vanessa Bennett:Follow on InstagramFollow on TikTokLearn more on SubstackConnect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedInSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your partner gets defensive and suddenly the conversation you needed to have is completely buried. Now you're defending yourself, they're defending themselves, and whatever you actually needed to talk about is gone. This is one of the most common things I see in couples therapy, and in almost every case there's more going on underneath the surface than it looks like from where you're standing.What this episode coversWhat defensiveness usually is: a reaction to how something was delivered, not just a personality traitCriticism vs contempt: the two Gottman concepts that predict relationship breakdown and how they trigger defensive responsesHow to tell the difference between attacking the person and describing your own experienceThe shopping trolley story: intention, impact and interpretation, and why couples fight about the wrong thingHow past experiences, trauma and negative sentiment override shape the way your partner hears what you sayWhy some people are wired to hear an attack even when there isn't oneWhat to do when you see defensiveness coming, including the gentle startupLeading with curiosity instead of accusationHow to ask your partner to rephrase something when it has landed wrongTimestamps0:00 Introduction2:00 Criticism and contempt: what Gottman research tells us4:00 How you start the conversation changes everything6:00 Intention, impact and interpretation10:00 When interpretation becomes the story we tell ourselves13:00 How past experiences and trauma shape defensive responses17:00 What to do when your partner gets defensive20:00 How to phrase things differently and ask for a rephraseResources and LinksConflict Workbook: https://marievakakis.com.au/why-couples-keep-arguing-and-what-its-really-aboutand-what-its-really-about/Relationship Reset course: https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/Marathon sessions at The Therapy Hub: https://thetherapyhub.com.au/marathon-couples-therapy/ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/Connect with Mariehttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Reconnection after losing a spouse starts with one overlooked truth — and most men who lost their wives have never heard it. Research from the Gottman Institute found that couples who stay emotionally connected don't have fewer problems. They simply turn toward each other more often in the small moments. A comment noticed. A question asked. A moment of reaching out that gets met instead of missed. Ezra doesn't need a grand gesture to begin rebuilding his life. He needs a bid. A small, honest reach toward something that matters — his own purpose, his own presence, a conversation he's been avoiding. In this episode, Ron "Simplified" Myers walks through what reconnection actually looks like for a man in the Rewrite season — not with a partner, but with himself, with his life, and with the future he hasn't given himself permission to want yet. The bids are still there. Small ones. Daily ones. This episode is about learning to see them — and choosing to make them. Get the Rewrite The Story book at https://books.by/simplified-uplifters-publishing Join the Uplifting Life Partners community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/simplifieduplifterscommunity And most important — remember, you are extraordinary. reconnection after loss, widower rebuilding, Rewrite The Story, Ron Simplified Myers, Simplified Uplifters, grief after losing wife, moving forward after loss, widower healing, men and grief, emotional reconnection, rebuilding after loss, identity after loss, widower YouTube, grief and purpose, men rebuilding after loss, Gottman bids for connection, emotional healing men, grief podcast, life after loss, widower

Money fights are one of the most common breaking points for couples, but they do not have to be. In this episode of Conversations for Couples, Julie and David Bulitt sit down with Dee Zimmerman, a financial relationship coach and money communication expert who blends Gottman informed communication tools with practical financial strategies to help couples manage money together, and manage it peacefully.Dee walks through why money is so hard to talk about in the first place (hint: it starts with the different families we grew up in), how the Four Horsemen of criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling show up in money conversations, and how her Wealth Partnership Pathway helps couples build emotional safety before they ever look at a spreadsheet. Julie and David also open up about their own early struggles with debt and how working through it together made their marriage stronger.What You'll Learn: Why couples so often have completely different "money wiring" and what to do about it How the Gottman Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) show up specifically in financial conversations What the Wealth Partnership Pathway looks like and why emotional safety has to come before numbers and systems How to reignite honest conversations about money dreams without judgment Julie and David's personal story of digging out of debt together early in their marriage Dee's top two takeaways for couples who want to change how they talk about money About Dee Zimmerman: Dee Zimmerman is a Financial Relationship Coach and Money Communication Expert, and the founder of Freedom Lab, where she helps couples lower the tension around money and build wealth as a team.Website: https://www.dzimmermanfinance.com Money Talks Quiz: https://www.dzimmermanfinance.com/quiz 7 Financial Blind Spots Guide: https://www.dzimmermanfinance.com/blind-spots Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dzimmermanfinance/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dzimmermanfinance LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dzimmermanfinance/ Email: dee@dzimmermanfinance.comAbout Your Hosts: Julie Bulitt is a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist. David Bulitt is a divorce and family lawyer. Together they host Conversations for Couples, the podcast.Website: https://thebulitts.com/ Follow The Bulitts: @TheBulitts on all major social media platformsJulie is not your therapist and David is not your lawyer. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Send me a text! I'd LOVE to hear your feedback on this episode!I talk to the quiet, tired midlife man and the partner who is confused by his silence, and I lay out why this pattern is often nervous system overwhelm, not coldness. I unpack the cultural scripts, the physiology, and the relationship research so we can replace shame with clarity and choose a better way forward. • the two contradictory scripts men are handed and why both fail decent men • why social media grifters and hot takes keep men angry, afraid, and stuck • loneliness data, friendship gaps, and why men's risk can escalate faster • the testosterone slope, andropause reality, and why lifestyle can mimic low T • men's stress reactivity, cortisol spikes, and the “frantic under armor” pattern • Gen X conditioning, gender role conflict, restrictive emotionality, and alexithymia • Gottman's stonewalling research, flooding, and the demand withdrawal spiral • the 20 minute rule, self-soothing without numbing, and returning to repair • building emotional vocabulary as nervous system regulation and neuroplasticity • breaking the chain for kids by modelling feelings, steadiness, and character • the difference between being nice, being good, and living by a code please follow, rate, review, and share it. Join here:  Sandy K Inner Circle Join me here:  Sandy K Inner CircleSupport the showJoin The Sandy K Inner Circle -- my private women-only subscription community where we go deeper than the podcast ever could.Every month you get:A live Q&A with Sandy on ZoomAn exclusive podcast episode nobody else hearsA practical curated downloadAccess to our private women-only Facebook community for wide open discussions on all topicsNo agendas. No noise. No bias. No trendy health advice from those who pay for their platforms. No medical advice. Real conversations you will not find anywhere else.Founding member spots are limited at $47 CAD/month.Join us here: sandykruse.substack.comFor women only. By invitation.Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/sandyknutrition/Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/sandyknutritionTikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@sandyknutritionYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIh48ov-SgbSUXsVeLL2qAgRumble:  https://rumble.com/c/c-5461001Linkedin:  ...

Discovering infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences a couple faces. In this episode, Dr. Bill Bumberry shares practical guidance and hope for couples navigating betrayal trauma and rebuilding trust. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and the Gottman Method, Bill explains the three key phases of healing after infidelity—atonement, attunement, and attachment—and offers actionable strategies for restoring safety, connection, and commitment. Whether you're recovering from betrayal or looking to strengthen your relationship against future threats, this conversation provides valuable insight and encouragement. • defining infidelity as betraying an agreement plus secrecy • why social media and dating apps make hiding easier • how friendships drift into emotional and physical affairs • common trauma responses for the hurt partner, including hypervigilance and dysregulation • why remorse has to become active compassion to restore safety • using the Gottman phases of atonement, attunement, and attachment • deciding which details help and which details harm early on • how avoidance and negative sentiment override set the stage for disconnection • what to consider when talking with kids at different ages • daily connection rituals that matter most, including the first two minutes together • loyalty as an active practice, especially when your partner is not presentComing June 23: Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.Available now for Kindle Pre-Order for 99¢Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce stress, and create a more meaningful life—one small habit at a time.Available June 23 wherever books are sold.Lead to GoldThe podcast devoted to discussing realistic growth and wellness.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3049: Jon Beaty explores how the simple idea of a golf mulligan can transform the way couples handle conflict, showing how a second chance can interrupt criticism, defensiveness, and emotional escalation. Drawing on Dr. John Gottman's research, he explains how repair attempts, emotional intelligence, and strong friendship help marriages recover from inevitable mistakes and grow stronger over time. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/mastering-marriage-conflict-mulligans/ Quotes to ponder: "When couples face-off over issues on which they have differing opinions, the discussion can get derailed by what Dr. John Gottman calls a harsh start-up." "According to Dr. Gottman, repair attempts are the secret weapon of emotionally intelligent couples." "Love Maps represent the deep knowledge that partners have of each other's world including their likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Descubre cómo la inteligencia emocional impacta en relaciones, equipos de trabajo y salud, y aprende tips prácticos para aplicarla en tu vida.   Minuto a minuto del episodio:   - Peleas, emociones y el verdadero problema (00:00:00)   - ¿Inteligencia emocional aplicada? Expectativas, debate sobre el enfoque práctico y diferenciación entre teoría y realidad (00:03:34)   - Matrimonios y divorcios: infancia, diferencias de género y el impacto de la inteligencia emocional según Goleman y Gottman (00:09:40)   - La clave real detrás de los vínculos de pareja duraderos (00:17:28)   - El liderazgo, feedback efectivo y la cultura del jefe tirano vs el nuevo paradigma emocional (00:29:23)   - Cómo abordar prejuicios y construir relaciones como ventaja profesional (00:36:33)   - Salud y emociones: ejemplos reales y la importancia del acompañamiento (00:46:52)   - Cómo impactan las emociones positivas y las relaciones en nuestra salud (00:54:53)   - Súper pregunta: lo peor de la edad, procesos vitales y el valor de repensar el cuidado personal (01:03:33)  

What if the thing that determines whether your marriage thrives or slowly fades isn't the big fights or the grand gestures, but the hundred tiny moments in between? In this episode, Christa unpacks one of Gottman's most important and least-talked-about discoveries: emotional bids. Every day your spouse is making small, quiet requests for connection, and you're either turning toward them, away from them, or against them without even realizing it. Learn what bids actually look like (they almost never announce themselves), why partners with the same love language can still miss each other constantly, and the one shift that changes the entire relational climate in your home. This episode is part of the Summer of Intimacy series. Show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠Get on the waitlist so you can get info about our Awakening Intimacy Intensive!⁠ ⁠⁠Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠⁠ Stay tuned for our Summer Intensives, Awakening Intimacy (track 1) and Awakening Adventure (track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the distance you feel in your marriage isn't about love at all, but about a bank account that has quietly run low? In episode three of the Summer of Intimacy series, Christa dives into one of Gottman's most powerful research findings, positive sentiment override, and the hidden force that erodes it faster than almost anything else: mental load. If you have been quicker to snap, quicker to assume the worst, or quicker to feel alone even when your spouse is right there, this episode will give you the language for what is actually happening and a way back toward each other. Plus, Christa shares how she and Wes put last week's love maps questions into practice on a real date this week, and how you can do the same. The Awakening Intimacy waitlist is now open, link in show notes. Show notes:⁠ Get on the waitlist so you can get info about our Awakening Intimacy Intensive! ⁠Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠ Stay tuned for our Summer Intensives, Awakening Intimacy (track 1) and Awakening Adventure (track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠here!⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares a recent conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, in which he asked, “What's the secret to a good relationship?” He said, “You have to be flexible, and when you're adaptable, you do better.” Dr. Jim discusses positive adaptability. Based on research by Gottman, a healthy marriage has a ratio of 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction. How do I convince my wife that she needs to go to counseling in order to heal? Do I drag her to counseling, or does she need to go on her own? We've been married 12 years and have 3 children. I feel like she's avoiding counseling because of her childhood trauma. How do I handle giving my granddaughter money for her high school graduation? She never thanks me when I give her a gift, and I want her to understand it's important for her to thank me. I lost my father tragically in the 1990s because he was an alcoholic and had a heart attack in the home of his mistress. I took my kids out of school and stayed away from my support group because I was filled with shame. Can you help me understand why I had so much shame?

We are diving deep into the real reasons men are not doing their part in relationships, and exactly how you can help change that. Whether you want better sex, or for him to take on more of the mental load, or you want to know if you're even with the right person, or if the relationship is worth staying in, we're going to get into that today. I sit down with Zach Brittle, one of the only couples therapists in the entire world certified in both the Gottman method and Terry Real's Relational Life therapy. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Vanity Fair. Zach is so pragmatic and has really interesting advice on some of the trickiest issues out there. We also talk about what men secretly think and feel behind the scenes that they're not sharing, and we solve a ton of the real-life relationship struggles that you guys wrote in. 

Zach sits down with James and Molly Christensen, a married couple and fellow therapists based in Sacramento, who spent more than six years in couples therapy before it actually worked. They burned through eight therapists, logged over a hundred sessions, and came within reach of a marriage that had been quietly failing for years. The fact that they are now both practicing couples therapists themselves makes this conversation something rare: a behind-the-curtain look at what the struggle actually looks like from inside.The conversation gets honest fast. James names what he had to face: narcissism, manipulation, a sense of superiority, and an inability to take feedback without it threatening his identity. Molly describes her own side of the dynamic, a deeply people-pleasing, avoidant woman who had been raised to see relationships as transactional, and who spent years wondering whether her instincts about James were accurate or whether she was the one losing her mind. The turning point for both of them came in the form of an intensive with a therapist who was finally skilled enough to hold them both, call them both out in the moment, and care enough about James to be blunt with him without losing him. James started recording every session and listening back four times. By the fourth listen, he could hear himself clearly. That's when things shifted.What runs underneath this whole episode is a conviction that most couples are doing "recovery lounge" therapy, showing up, going through the motions, and feeling okay about it, without ever actually growing. James makes the case that conflict is not the problem in most marriages. Avoidance is. The goal, for both of them as clients and now as clinicians, is more conflict with less anger, which means developing the capacity to say what you actually think, to your spouse, with genuine care behind it, and to hold your ground when they push back. That's differentiation. That's the work. And if you get through it, Zach notes, the intimacy on the other side is real.Key TakeawaysFiring your therapist is sometimes the right call. If you're not making progress after significant time, the fit may be the problem, not the process.Being resistant to therapy is often not about therapy. Molly's refusal to engage was partly a refusal to let James dictate her path. Understanding the resistance tells you a lot about the relationship dynamic.Narcissism has four components worth knowing: fragility (inability to take criticism), a sense of superiority, indifference to others, and manipulation as a means of protecting a false self.The breakthrough often requires a therapist who combines genuine care with genuine bluntness. Truth without love is abusive. Love without truth is just convenient. Both together is what actually moves people.Conflict is not the enemy. Avoidance is. Couples who never fight aren't at peace, they're just not saying what they really think, and it costs them.Differentiation is the ability to stay grounded in yourself when your partner is not okay. It's not about getting them to back down. It's about whether you can hold your own truth without crumbling under pressure.The tools from research-based approaches like Gottman are only as useful as the people holding them. If underlying traits like narcissism or avoidance are untreated, the tools won't stick.When couples heal, families heal. James and Molly both note that their children have noticed the difference, and that the work they've done has changed the floor their kids are jumping from.Guest InfoJames Christensen Licensed couples therapist based in Sacramento, California. Former Air Force pilot with 22 years of military service before transitioning to therapy. Specializes in high-conflict couples using the Crucible approach. Brings his own history as a client, over six years in couples therapy, to his clinical work.Website: https://jamesmchristensen.com/Molly Christensen Associate therapist (currently under supervision), working at a nonprofit and accepting sliding scale and insurance clients. Followed James into the field after their shared experience in therapy. Brings her perspective as a former people-pleaser and avoidant partner to her work with couples.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Every conflict in your marriage gives you a choice: will you use it to deepen your connection and grow closer, or will you let it drive you further into resentment and disconnection? In this episode, we explore why genuine apologies are one of the most important repair tools in marriage. You'll learn the science behind why apologies work, what happens when we refuse them or give fake ones, the negative feedback loop that can trap couples in disconnection, and a practical four-step apology process you can start using immediately.We discuss John Gottman's research on repair, the difference between Masters and Disasters of relationships, Terry Real's losing strategies, and how small, sincere repairs can build a rich “culture of repair” in your marriage.Key Resources & Studies Mentioned:Apologies in Close Relationships: A Review of Theory and Research (2015) by Jarrett T. Lewis, Gilbert R. Parra, and Robert Cohen Journal of Family Theory & Review APA PsycNet LinkRefusing to Apologize Can Have Psychological Benefits (2013) by Tyler G. Okimoto and colleagues European Journal of Social PsychologyWhy Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner AmazonThe Gottman Institute – Research on repair attempts, culture of repair, Negative Sentiment Override, and emotional availability Gottman.comTerry Real's work on Relational Life Therapy and losing strategies (highly recommended: The New Rules of Marriage)Action Step:Try the four-step apology process the next time conflict arises. Notice how it feels and what it does for your connection.If this episode resonated with you, share it with your partner and leave a review. Let us know in the comments: What's one apology you're committed to making this week?Tags: Marriage Advice, Healthy Relationships, Apologies, Conflict Resolution, Gottman Method, Terry Real, Relationship Repair, Emotional IntelligenceGet in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/

Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live — what would you regret?Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.In this episode: Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research) The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required) The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcavemanResearch cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3007: Sanya Pelini explores why children learn emotional regulation more from what parents model than from what they say. Drawing on research from James Gross and other emotion regulation studies, she shares practical ways to manage stress, anxiety, and frustration so you can create a calmer, healthier emotional environment for your child. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-becoming-your-childs-emotion-coach-begins-by-managing-your-own-emotions-first/ Quotes to ponder: "Teaching kids how to manage emotions is not about suppressing those emotions. It's about teaching your children that emotions exist, but they can be managed." "We also know that kids learn more from watching us than they do from listening to us." "Ultimately, helping your kid manage his emotions requires you to learn to manage yours first." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there's one thing we've learned in our 25 years of marriage, parenting, and blended family life, it's this: communication problems aren't about bad intentions more often, they're about lacking the right tools. In this episode, we share the painful, unproductive patterns we got stuck in and the communication shifts that changed everything for us, helping us strengthen our marriage and build a healthier parenting partnership.We unpack a simple communication styles model, then share two practical frameworks that help couples handle sensitive issues with more wisdom and less reactivity.  We also share about the impact of emotional dysregulation (one of the biggest obstacles to healthy communication), and touch on four of the most common unhealthy patterns that keep couples stuck.This episode will offer practical tools to build trust and connection, reduce conflict, and communicate more like a united team.  Even when you each have different perspectives.  If we can do it, you can too!  Listen in and learn these pivotal tools so you can break free from unhealthy communication patterns and make a real difference in your relationship!You'll Discover:How different communication styles can quietly create friction, even when both of you mean well A simple framework for talking about sensitive issues, especially conversations about each other's kids How to use the FAQ approach to start hard conversations without blame or escalation Why emotional dysregulation can quickly derail communication How to recognize Gottman's Four Horsemen and replace them with healthier patterns that build connection and teamworkResources from this Episode:CLICK HERE to schedule your free call and learn more about our Relate Strong coaching focused on regulating painful emotions when it matters most.FREE DOWNLOAD: Communication Toolkit WorksheetEpisode 202.  How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]Episode 203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United TeamCrucial Conversations by K. Patterson, J. Grenny, R. McMilan, A. Switzler Leave a Review in Apple PodcastsIf you're feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they're fun for us to read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

“Don't make me pull this podcast over!” Do you have sibling rivalry in your family? Have you often wondered why? Today on the One Life Radio Podcast Dr. DeWone Bennett and Bernadette Fiaschetti share some of their past battles with siblings and tackle the complex, and sensitive subject of understanding the roots of sibling rivalry and how to fix it!Dr. Bennett has over eighteen years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of the book series “The Playbook Series.” He also lights up the stage as a keynote speaker and corporate mental health and wellness trainer.Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance. As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, Dr. Bennett continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. You can find and learn more about Dr. DeWone Bennett on drbennettcounseling.com.Here are more episodes with DeWone Bennett:“Things I'm Seeing In My Practice” ‘Work Anxiety' - Ep. 3111Can Valentine's Day Expectations Harm Your Relationship? ep. 3081The Best and Worst Ways to Break Up #2093The Psychology of Tattoos #2073Managing Stress #2049What are we Swiping For? #3070The Bird Test Theory, You Tube, Dr. John Gottman

Contempt in Marriage: The Point of No Return | Gottman's Four Horsemen Explained #relationshipgoals #marriage #gottman #podcast #contempt What is contempt in a relationship, and how does it destroy marriages? In this episode, we break down how contempt—identified by Dr. John Gottman as the most dangerous of the Four Horsemen—can become the true point of no return.Contempt in marriage goes beyond frustration or anger. It shows up as sarcasm, disrespect, eye-rolling, and emotional disconnect. Over time, these behaviors erode trust, kill intimacy, and create deep resentment that can be hard—if not impossible—to repair.We also explore the full framework of the Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and why contempt is considered the biggest predictor of divorce.In this episode, you'll learn:What contempt in a relationship really looks likeThe early signs of contempt in marriageWhy contempt is the most toxic communication patternHow emotional disconnection develops over timeCan a relationship recover from contempt?If you're dealing with marriage problems, communication breakdown, or emotional distance, this conversation offers real insight into what's happening—and what it means for your relationship.

This episode explores how trust is shaped through predictability, consistency, and emotional regulation, drawing from both equine behavior research and human relationship psychology.Sources and Further ReadingsEquine Behavior & PredictabilityHausberger, M., Roche, H., Henry, S., & Visser, E. K. (2008).A review of the human–horse relationship. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 109(1), 1–24.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2007.04.015 Sankey, C., Richard-Yris, M. A., Henry, S., Fureix, C., & Hausberger, M. (2010).Positive interactions lead to lasting positive memories in horses. Animal Behaviour, 79(4), 869–875.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.anbehav.2009.12.037 Stress, Learning, and ConsistencyMcGreevy, P. D., & McLean, A. N. (2007).Roles of learning theory in equitation. Journal of Veterinary Behavior, 2(4), 108–118. McLean, A. N. (2005).The positive aspects of correct negative reinforcement. Anthrozoös, 18(3), 245–254. Schmidt, A., et al. (2010).Cortisol release, heart rate, and heart rate variability in horses. Hormones and Behavior, 57(3), 319–325. Emotional Regulation & Relationship PsychologyGross, J. J. (1998).The emerging field of emotion regulation. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299. Gottman, J. M. (1999).The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.(Concept of repair attempts and relationship stability) Siegel, D. J. (2012).The Developing Mind.(Relational regulation and interpersonal neurobiology) Learning & Behavior InterpretationFureix, C., & Meagher, R. K. (2015).What can inactivity (in horses) tell us about welfare? Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 171, 8–20.

Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live what would you regret?Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.In this episode: Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research) The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required) The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcavemanResearch cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…

Do you find yourself in similar situations with different people? Are you wondering why you are having challenges navigating conflict with friends but are pretty successful with navigating conflict at work? Are your boundaries respected in your romantic relationships but fall apart with your family? And attachment styles... whew?! Let's unpack some things together. I am looking forward to exploring tips and resources that help us challenge existing relationship cycles, break patterns that are no longer serving us, and continue our healing journey. Joining us this session: ✊

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2979: Henry Sawatzky reflects on how the fear of rejection that once kept him pinned to a gym wall still shows up in marriage, especially when vulnerability is required. He reveals that true connection comes from repeatedly “crossing the floor” and offering your inner world, even when it feels risky. The reward is a deeper, more intimate bond that only emerges when you choose courage over self-protection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/keep-asking-your-partner-to-dance/ Quotes to ponder: "I've learned that in order to dance, you have to cross the gym floor and offer yourself, giving your partner the opportunity to accept or deny you." "Having the courage to show up is actually less risky than staying stuck." "Without that vulnerable offering, the dance can never actually happen. It can be scary as hell, but the dance is worth it." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If your morning routine for preschool looks less like a smooth routine and more like 21 rounds of "no", "stop", and "not like that" before 8 am, then things aren't working well for either of you. In this episode, we walk through one ordinary preschool morning minute by minute, from the cereal bowl to the car seat buckle. We also learn how to move from: "how do I get my child to cooperate" to: what is going on inside my child's body right now, and what are they trying to communicate through the flopping, dawdling, silliness, and defiance? Because when you understand that, you can find strategies that meet both of your needs. Questions This Episode Will Answer Why is my child so difficult in the morning? Preschoolers live almost entirely in the present moment and learn through movement and touch. When a morning is filled with a steady stream of corrections, their nervous system experiences it as "everything I do is wrong" - and the silliness, defiance, or shutdown you see is their body's response to that overload. Why is my child grumpy in the morning? It's often less about the time of day and more about the cumulative weight of limits. When children experience correction after correction with little room for exploration or connection, grumpiness and shutdown are common signals that their needs aren't being met. Why do kids dilly-dally and dawdle in the morning? What looks like dawdling is often a child following genuine curiosity, moving their body the way it wants to go, or trying to connect with you before the day pulls you apart. What is meant by "behavior is communication"? Preschoolers don't yet have the words to say "this is too much for me" or "I need to feel close to you right now". So they show you with their bodies. Finger-stirring cereal, flopping on the floor, asking to be carried - each of these is a message, if you know how to listen for it. When you understand that message you can help them meet their need - which also meets your needs for peace, ease, and order. Is misbehavior an unmet need? Often, yes. When you look beneath challenging behaviors in young children, you frequently find unmet needs for things like autonomy, movement, connection, or play. The behavior is a signal pointing you toward what your child actually needs. If you want to find out your child's biggest need (and easy, actionable strategies to meet it that make your life easier), take this free quiz. What are some reasons children misbehave? In early childhood, most challenging behavior traces back to a mismatch between a child's developmental capacity and what's being asked of them, combined with needs they're trying to meet in ways you're finding irritating. Preschoolers aren't misbehaving to make your life harder. They don't know how else to meet their needs. What You'll Learn in This Episode How to walk through a typical preschool morning routine and see it through your child's eyes, moment by momentWhat your child's most frustrating behaviors (flopping, dawdling, silliness, defiance) are often communicating about their needsWhy the total number of corrections across a morning matters as much as any single limit you setWhat your needs are in the morning routine, and why they are just as valid as your child's needsHow it's possible to meet your needs AND your child's needsHow to start moving toward fewer, clearer limits that your preschooler's nervous system can actually work withWhat the research on parent-child interaction patterns tells us about where repeated correction leads over timeHow parents who grew up in homes with heavy compliance expectations describe the long-term effects on themselves and their own parenting To help you put the ideas from this episode into practice, I've created a free worksheet: Your Difficult Morning Audit. You'll count your corrections, sort them, and start to see which limits are truly necessary - and which ones are habit. Get The Morning Audit Worksheet For Free If you thought "that's my kid" or "that's our mornings" - the Setting Loving (& Effective) Limits workshop is for you. Learn how to see how many limits you're actually setting, sort them into what's truly necessary and what can soften or disappear, and practice holding fewer, clearer limits in a way your child's nervous system can actually handle. You get short focused modules, three live group coaching calls where you can bring your real situations, and a community of parents working through the same things. The self-guided workshop is available year-round, but every April we run it live to give you even more support. Enrollment is open until April 26. Until April 16 at midnight Pacific, you can Pay What You Want:- any amount (even $1) gets you full access. You choose what you pay. After that, the price moves up to a fixed rate. If you're ready to move from correction-heavy mornings to fewer, truer limits your preschooler can actually live with, come join us in the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop. Enrollment is open until April 26 Jump to highlights: 01:27 Introduction to today's episode 05:48 The behavior isn't defiance - it's communication about their needs. 08:21 Young children live in the present moment and learn through movement and repetition rather than explanations. 10:45 You're not the villain for wanting things to go smoothly. Getting out the door, you need to meet your responsibility to co-workers while staying connected to your kid. 13:58 Your child needs connection, autonomy, movement, exploration, play, and fun. You need ease, harmony, collaboration, and responsibility to others. 16:45 The Gottman research on couples suggests we need about five positive interactions for every negative one to stay connected. 18:43 As a young child, Crystal learned to read the room constantly. As a teenager, she rebelled hard and ended up heavily involved in drugs and alcohol. 30:38 Wrapping up the discussion. 31:40 An open invitation to Setting Loving (&Effective) Limits workshop.

Have you heard of the Gottman Institute? The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a wildly popular relationship book and it has plenty of fantastic insights. However, some of the research and case studies could use some updating. In this episode, we take a close look at conflict while keeping in mind the weight of emotional labor and the impacts of patriarchy.Mentioned:The Seven Principls for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman PhDThe Autism Partner Handbook: How to Love an Autistic Person by Joe Biel, Dr. Faith G. Harper and Elly BlueThe Autism Relationships Handbook: How to Thrive in Friendships, Dating, and Love by Joe Biel and Dr. Faith G. HarperIn this episode:Relationship conflict patterns and Gottman's researchGendered communication and systemic issuesNeurodivergence and emotional regulation in relationshipsGet resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comOrder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233Themes: relationship dynamics, conflict resolution, Gottman Institute, gender theory, neurodivergence, communication, mental load, emotional labor, systemic gender issues, relationship advice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ce este infidelitatea dincolo de aspectul fizic și cum ne afectează încrederea și identitatea? Oana Calnegru, psihoterapeut relațional și formator la Pagina de Psihologie, ne ajută să înțelegem mecanismele infidelității și ale pierderii în cuplu.Oana Calnegru este psihoterapeut, supervizor și formator în psihoterapia familiei, cu o practică centrată pe terapia relațională. Coordonează de 10 ani proiecte psihoeducaționale la Pagina de Psihologie, inclusiv programul de formare Parenting Masterclass. Este mama a doi adolescenți și trăiește o relație de cuplu de peste 20 de ani.Acesta este episodul 8 dintr-un sezon dedicat relațiilor, realizat în parteneriat cu Pagina de Psihologie, despre:Cum definim infidelitatea — acorduri explicite vs. implicite și impactul secretelorDe ce apare infidelitatea — nevoi neîmplinite, crize identitare, obligația de a fi fericițiEsther Perel vs. John Gottman: mister sau prietenie în cuplu?Pierderea relațională și etapele doliului (Kübler-Ross și David Kessler)Pierderea ambiguă — relația continuă dar ceva esențial s-a schimbatCum decidem: reconstrucție sau despărțire?Cele trei tipologii de cupluri după infidelitate: suferinzii, constructorii, exploratoriiRepararea sănătoasă vs. capcana dezechilibrului de putereResurse menționate:Esther Perel — psihoterapeut, specialist în dinamica erotismului și infidelitățiiJohn Gottman — psiholog, cercetător în relațiile de cupluElizabeth Kübler-Ross — psihiatru, autoarea modelului celor cinci etape ale doliului (On Death and Dying, 1969)David Kessler — Găsirea sensului după pierderea unei persoane dragiDaniel Siegel — psihiatru, modelul integrării (între haos și rigiditate)Helen Fisher — antropolog, cercetătoare în tipologiile de cuplu post-infidelitateIntră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind Architect. Episod produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România. "(00:00) Intro""(02:52) Cine este Oana Calnegru și temele episodului""(04:41) Ce este Infidelitatea: acorduri explicite, implicite și percepții diferite""(06:36) Nevoia de exclusivitate și spectrul trădării""(10:49) Infidelitatea prin ochii celui trădat, dimensiuni culturale și de ce (nu) vreau să știu""(15:43) Când conversația despre granițe nu a avut loc niciodată""(19:51) De ce apare infidelitatea: nevoi nerostite și breșe relaționale""(21:50) Polarizare extremă în cuplu: autonomie vs. transparență totală""(24:26) Secretul ca motor al trădării""(27:45) Când acordurile explicite eșuează: erodarea încrederii""(29:00) Problemele perene în cuplu - John Gottman""(35:01) Esther Perel: de la breșe la altă relație, nimeni nu poate fi un sat întreg""(37:54) Infidelitatea: alegere conștientă, simptom relațional sau criză identitară?""(42:25) Mister sau prietenie în cuplu? Perel vs. Gottman""(46:08) Daniel Siegel: dansul sănătos între apropiere și distanțare""(48:26) Pierderea: ce moare în relație când apare infidelitatea""(51:41) Doliul și etapele sale""(56:25) Acceptarea, găsirea sensului și de ce doliul nu curge liniar""(01:00:46) Povestea lui Paul: doliu întârziat, doi ani mai târziu""(01:04:26) Semnificația atașamentului: de ce unele pierderi dor mai mult""(01:07:02) Cum știm că suntem pregătiți pentru o nouă relație""(01:10:09) Doliul ca loialitate: alegerea de a rămâne în durere""(01:14:40) Decizia după infidelitate: de ce să nu decidem în criză""(01:18:13) Dimensiunea pragmatică: copii, finanțe, personalitate""(01:22:38) Apariția copilului ca pierdere ambiguă în cuplu""(01:28:06) Ce este pierderea ambiguă și cum se resimte în relație""(01:33:32) Relațiile îmbătrânesc și ele: transformare, nu declin""(01:37:34) Cauze moderne: presiunea perfecțiunii și 'merit mai mult'""(01:42:52) Repararea sănătoasă: ce are de făcut fiecare partener""(01:45:54) Cele 3 tipologii post-infidelitate și eșecurile în reparare""(01:50:26) Unde o găsim pe Oana"

Send us Fan MailMost of us are walking around operating on three channels: mad, fine, or tired. And if that's the vocabulary we're working with, we're going to keep spinning out in the same patterns, the same arguments, the same spiral of "no one ever chooses me" without ever actually getting underneath what's driving it.Join Anna and Tim as they get into the real, unglamorous work of building emotional intelligence in yourself. Not in a partner, not in your kids. In you. Anna breaks down the actual skills, the science behind them, and why naming what you feel isn't soft work. It's strategic.This Episode Covers:Why most people default to "mad, fine, or tired" and what it costs them.The affect labeling research that shows precise emotional language literally reduces reactivity in the brain.How to separate the feeling from the story you're telling yourself about it.When the story is old pain wearing a current face.Why your partner is not your nervous system manager.The pause where emotional intelligence actually lives.What regulation looks like in practice, including the Gottman timeout strategy for couples.Until next time, here's to deeper connections and personal growth.Mad love!Book a Discovery Call for Coaching/Therapy: https://calendly.com/badassconfidencecoach/coachingThe podcast is now on YouTube! If you prefer to watch, head over to https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLw3CabcJueib20U_L3WeaR-lNG_B3zYquDon't forget to subscribe to the Badass Confidence Coach podcast on your favorite podcast platform!CONNECT WITH ANNA:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/askannamarcolin/TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/tag/askannamarcolinEmail hello@annamarcolin.comWebsite https://www.annamarcolin.com

the girls discuss a one star rating from an ex pp and take a test to see if their relationship has a strong foundation.book club: https://www.stayingupclub.com/send us your gossip stories or ask for advice!call the PP hotline 323-577-8857 or email us at stayinguppod@gmail.comJoin our Patreon: http://patreon.com/StayingUpJoin our Discord: https://discord.gg/am5t7kZTdRCam's shopmy https://shopmy.us/cammiescottTar's shopmy https://shopmy.us/tarynarnoldscottListen: https://stayingup.lnk.to/listenFollow: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stayinguppodFollow Cam: https://www.instagram.com/cammiescott/Follow Tar: https://www.instagram.com/thetarynarnold/Contact for business inquires only:stayinguppod@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No one tells you what becoming a parent actually feels like. Not the baby registry, not the birth plan—but the identity shift, the relationship changes, the loneliness, grief, and joy that cracks you open. In this solo, Lindsey shares what she genuinely wishes someone had told her before becoming a mom. From nervous system overload + sleep deprivation to partnership strain + matrescence (the emotional + psychological transformation of motherhood), Lindsey pulls back the curtain on early parenthood. This isn't about fear—it's about truth. The discomfort, the rewiring, the ego death, and the profound expansion that comes with raising a child. If you're a new mom, thinking about becoming a parent, or deep in your own identity shift in your 30s, this episode will make you feel seen. It's honest, grounding, and deeply reassuring: you're not doing it wrong—it's just that big of a transformation. We also talk about: Why motherhood expands your capacity for discomfort The nervous system rewiring that happens after having a baby Intrusive thoughts + heightened sensitivity in early motherhood Relationship changes after a baby (+ the Gottman research on partnership dips) Why you don't “go back” to your old self—and why that's freeing Matrescence + identity loss in your 30s Grieving your old life while loving your child How motherhood ruthlessly edits your priorities Perfectionism in parenting + attachment research truths Emotional availability vs. “doing it right” Loneliness in early motherhood + building your village Reparenting yourself while raising your child Resources: Instagram: @lindseysimcik Order our book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide To A Life You Love For The Next Decade and Beyond, here: https://bit.ly/Almost30Book.  Sponsors: Our Place | Visit https://www.fromourplace.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 for 10% off sitewide.  Fatty15 | Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to https://www.fatty15.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 at checkout.  Ka'Chava | Go to https://www.kachava.com and use code ALMOST30 for 15% off your next order. Ritual | Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. My listeners get 25% off your first month at https://www.Ritual.com/ALMOST30.  Hero Bread | Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://hero.co and use code ALMOST30 at checkout. Gaia | On https://www.gaia.com, you get access to over 8,000 original, ad-free series, documentaries, and classes — along with a global community of more than 800,000 people exploring deeper truth and human potential. Revolve | Shop at https://www.REVOLVE.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 for 15% off your first order. #REVOLVEpartner BetterHelp | This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/almost30 and get on your way to being your best self with 10% off your first month. Chime | It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to https://www.Chime.com/ALMOST30. Paleovalley | Head to https://www.paleovalley.com/almost30 for 15% off your order! To advertise on this podcast please email: partnerships@almost30.com. Learn More: https://almost30.com/about https://almost30.com/morningmicrodose https://almost30.com/book Join our community: https://facebook.com/Almost30podcast/groups https://instagram.com/almost30podcast https://tiktok.com/@almost30podcast https://youtube.com/Almost30Podcast Podcast disclaimer can be found by visiting: almost30.com/disclaimer.  Almost 30 is edited by Garett Symes and Isabella Vaccaro. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Honor of Valentine's Day, we're revisiting what we think is our most comprehensive episode on relationships to date! Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down: - The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD - Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage - Ways to better support your partner's trauma - Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships - Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal - How to argue with your partner in a healthy way - Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment - Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity? - Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily - Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING - Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication - Effects of porn addiction on the other partner - Key communication factors in healthy partnerships - The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages - The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Honor of Valentine's Day, we're revisiting what we think is our most comprehensive episode on relationships to date! Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down: - The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD - Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage - Ways to better support your partner's trauma - Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships - Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal - How to argue with your partner in a healthy way - Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment - Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity? - Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily - Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING - Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication - Effects of porn addiction on the other partner - Key communication factors in healthy partnerships - The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages - The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices