Podcasts about gottman

In this episode of Get Psyched, Lindsey connects her (slightly mischievous) love of embarrassment to one of the most influential relationship research programs of all time: the Love Lab led by John Gottman.Inside the famed Love Lab at the University of Washington, couples were observed to uncover what actually predicts long-term relationship success. The biggest predictor? Not grand gestures. Not passion. Not compatibility quizzes.It was how partners responded to bids for connection.Today the gals explore:

No one tells you what becoming a parent actually feels like. Not the baby registry, not the birth plan—but the identity shift, the relationship changes, the loneliness, grief, and joy that cracks you open. In this solo, Lindsey shares what she genuinely wishes someone had told her before becoming a mom. From nervous system overload + sleep deprivation to partnership strain + matrescence (the emotional + psychological transformation of motherhood), Lindsey pulls back the curtain on early parenthood. This isn't about fear—it's about truth. The discomfort, the rewiring, the ego death, and the profound expansion that comes with raising a child. If you're a new mom, thinking about becoming a parent, or deep in your own identity shift in your 30s, this episode will make you feel seen. It's honest, grounding, and deeply reassuring: you're not doing it wrong—it's just that big of a transformation. We also talk about: Why motherhood expands your capacity for discomfort The nervous system rewiring that happens after having a baby Intrusive thoughts + heightened sensitivity in early motherhood Relationship changes after a baby (+ the Gottman research on partnership dips) Why you don't “go back” to your old self—and why that's freeing Matrescence + identity loss in your 30s Grieving your old life while loving your child How motherhood ruthlessly edits your priorities Perfectionism in parenting + attachment research truths Emotional availability vs. “doing it right” Loneliness in early motherhood + building your village Reparenting yourself while raising your child Resources: Instagram: @lindseysimcik Order our book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide To A Life You Love For The Next Decade and Beyond, here: https://bit.ly/Almost30Book.  Sponsors: Our Place | Visit https://www.fromourplace.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 for 10% off sitewide.  Fatty15 | Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to https://www.fatty15.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 at checkout.  Ka'Chava | Go to https://www.kachava.com and use code ALMOST30 for 15% off your next order. Ritual | Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. My listeners get 25% off your first month at https://www.Ritual.com/ALMOST30.  Hero Bread | Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://hero.co and use code ALMOST30 at checkout. Gaia | On https://www.gaia.com, you get access to over 8,000 original, ad-free series, documentaries, and classes — along with a global community of more than 800,000 people exploring deeper truth and human potential. Revolve | Shop at https://www.REVOLVE.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 for 15% off your first order. #REVOLVEpartner BetterHelp | This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/almost30 and get on your way to being your best self with 10% off your first month. Chime | It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to https://www.Chime.com/ALMOST30. Paleovalley | Head to https://www.paleovalley.com/almost30 for 15% off your order! To advertise on this podcast please email: partnerships@almost30.com. Learn More: https://almost30.com/about https://almost30.com/morningmicrodose https://almost30.com/book Join our community: https://facebook.com/Almost30podcast/groups https://instagram.com/almost30podcast https://tiktok.com/@almost30podcast https://youtube.com/Almost30Podcast Podcast disclaimer can be found by visiting: almost30.com/disclaimer.  Almost 30 is edited by Garett Symes and Isabella Vaccaro. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conflictele în relații pot fi constructive sau distructive, diferența vine din cum le abordăm. Gáspár György ne explică de ce certurile sunt inevitabile și cum le putem transforma în oportunități de creștere.Gáspár György este psiholog clinician, psihoterapeut de cuplu și autorul a șase cărți, între care și Când Conflictul Are Sens. Co-fondator al comunității Pagina de Psihologie și al Academiei de Terapie Imago din România, Gáspár folosește metoda Gottman în munca sa și este una dintre cele mai cunoscute voci care promovează sănătatea relațională în spațiul public din România.Acesta este al doilea episod dintr-un sezon dedicat relațiilor, realizat împreună cu Pagina de Psihologie. Astăzi explorăm:Miturile despre conflicte care ne sabotează relațiileGândirea liniară vs. circulară în conversații dificileCei 6 călăreți ai apocalipsei relaționale (critică, defensivitate, dispreț, împietrire, control, beligeranță)Antidoturile pentru fiecare comportament distructivCum să rămâi curios când emoțiile se intensificăDualitatea particulă-undă aplicată în relațiiResurse menționate în conversație:Cartea "Când conflictul are sens" de Gáspár György Cartea "Rising Strong" de Brené BrownCercetările lui John și Julie Gottman despre Știința RelațiilorInstrumente: Carduri de replici pentru conflicte în cuplu - Instrumente: Carduri de replici pentru conflicte părinte-adolescentIntră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind Architect Acest episod este produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România. "(00:00) Introducere""(04:17) Mituri despre conflicte""(07:14) John Gottman și Terapia Imago despre conflicte în relații""(08:51) Bagajul emoțional din copilărie și conflictele""(10:06) Conflictul ca mijloc spre o formă mai bună de a fi împreună""(13:33) Perspectivele diferite și sistemul nervos""(15:44) Conflictele ca semn de vitalitate și potențial""(17:04) Emoțiile neexprimate: semn că avem conversații de purtat""(18:51) Lisa Feldman Barrett și bugetul de energie în conversații dificile""(21:16) Cum să rămâi curios când ți se apasă butoane emoționale""(23:34) Permisiunea de a greși și importanța reparării pagubelor""(26:29) Mitul despre a nu te culca supărat""(29:14) După conflict, între reconectare și nevoia de spațiu""(31:06) Strategii similare, nevoi diferite în conflict""(34:34) Exemplu Gáspár: Escaladare și reparare cu un coleg""(38:14) Strategii diferite de reconciliere: vorbim sau îngropăm?""(41:42) Dualitatea particulă-undă aplicată în relații""(44:16) Starea de undă cu energie negativă vs. colapsul în particulă""(47:44) Decizii luate din stare activată: mai bine singur""(54:35) Gândirea liniară vs. circulară în conflicte""(57:10) Subiectivitatea minții: amândoi putem avea dreptate""(01:00:00) Co-creația: cum contribuim fiecare la escaladare""(01:03:52) Exemplu: Cum nu-i dăm partenerului ocazia să contribuie""(01:06:53) Etichetele în relații și cum ne limitează ele""(01:12:07) Ce facem când celălalt minimizează și evită""(01:19:08) Echilibrul între grijă și hiper-responsabilizare""(01:23:37) Cleaning the air: Tensiunea nevorbită erodează relația""(01:29:33) Umorul în conflicte: când ajută și când rănește""(01:34:13) Cei 6 călăreți ai apocalipsei relaționale (Gottman)""(01:35:51) Critica - atacul la persoană""(01:37:41) Disprețul și Defensivitatea""(01:39:51) Împietrirea, Controlul și Beligeranța""(01:43:23) Antidot Critică: exprimarea emoțiilor și nevoilor""(01:46:29) Antidot Defensivitate: asumarea responsabilității""(01:49:32) Asumare autentică vs. Îmi pare rău""(01:54:38) Antidot Dispreț: aprecierea și admirația""(01:56:38) Antidot Împietrire: autoreglare emoțională""(01:58:41) Antidot Control: flexibilitate și pornire lină""(02:03:46) Antidot Beligeranță: ramura de măslin""(02:04:31) Poziționare în conflict copil - celălalt părinte""(02:08:25) Carduri cu replici pentru conflicte"

GET FREE HANDOUT to accompany this episode HERE:Resentment from unequal decisions? One person dominating finances, parenting, or chores? In this episode, Sharla and Robert explain how to create a "system of governance" in your marriage—drawing from John Gottman's "accepting influence" and Stan Tatkin's shared leadership—to end power struggles, restore parity, and protect your “couple bubble.”Hear real couple stories, our own early parenting struggles, a list of 10 key principles to start your governance system, and a deep dive on "guardrails"—in-moment reminders that interrupt harmful patterns before they escalate.This is how you lead each other without chaos or hurt.Key TakeawaysGovernance isn't control—it's a shared constitution for decisions, influence, and implementing principles.Accepting influence (Gottman) means blending strengths—couples who do this are far more likely to thrive.Build principles like "We shield each other from harm" that you both defend selfishly.Guardrails: In-moment reminders (e.g., "Remember our agreement?") interrupt harmful autopilot behaviors before fights escalate.No system = power struggles and resentment; good governance + guardrails = allies and a strong bubble.ResourcesThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – Gold standard for influence and conflict.Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin – Deep dive on shared leadership.In Each Other's Care by Stan Tatkin – Modern habits for governance.Up Next WeekKeeping each other safe through partner soothingIf this helped you spot a power imbalance, follow, comment, and share! Put each other first this week. ❤️Get in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/

In Honor of Valentine's Day, we're revisiting what we think is our most comprehensive episode on relationships to date! Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down: - The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD - Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage - Ways to better support your partner's trauma - Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships - Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal - How to argue with your partner in a healthy way - Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment - Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity? - Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily - Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING - Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication - Effects of porn addiction on the other partner - Key communication factors in healthy partnerships - The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages - The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you passive-aggressive when you argue? Do you slam cabinet doors instead of communicating? Is arguing a positive thing? Do you know what the Gottman Theory bird test is? Today on the One Life Radio Podcast Dr. DeWone Bennett and Bernadette Fiaschetti discuss six ways to navigate an argument better, and so much more! Dr. Bennett has over eighteen years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of the book series “The Playbook Series.” He also lights up the stage as a keynote speaker and corporate mental health and wellness trainer.Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance. As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, Dr. Bennett continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. You can find and learn more about Dr. DeWone Bennett on dbennettcounseling.com.Here are more episodes with DeWone Bennett:“Things I'm Seeing In My Practice” ‘Work Anxiety' - Ep. 3111Can Valentine's Day Expectations Harm Your Relationship? ep. 3081The Best and Worst Ways to Break Up #2093The Psychology of Tattoos #2073Managing Stress #2049What are we Swiping For? #3070The Bird Test Theory, You Tube, Dr. John Gottman

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2897: Brooke Blanton explores the quiet power of touch in moments of distress, sharing how something as simple as holding hands with a loved one can offer profound emotional relief. Backed by research on interpersonal synchronization, her story reveals how physical connection can literally align brainwaves, reduce pain, and deepen emotional bonds. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/holding-hands-synchronization/ Quotes to ponder: "You might be surprised at the kinds of emotional connection you can experience together through a small gesture of physical connection." "When the couple was sitting next to each other holding hands, the brainwave sync was the strongest." "We spend years building connections with the people in our lives, romantic partners, close family members, best friends, so consider the importance of physical touch."

With Valentine's Day on the horizon, I've been thinking a lot about love…not the chemistry sparking lust….but real love. What does it feel like? What makes it last? And how do you maintain your intimate relationships in a modern world.    In my wedding speech, I said that love isn't a grand gesture but the actions you take daily.    I don't think I'm naturally good in relationships – I put a lot thought and intention into how I communicate and treat my husband and today's guest was so helpful on my journey to being ready to meet my person.    So I wanted to bring you back to this conversation from 2021 with Licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical fellow of the america association of marriage & family therapy AND founder of A Better Life Therapy - Elizabeth Earnshaw.    In addition to making couples therapy more accessible, she is the author of "I Want This To Work". Elizabeth is also the host of Hash it Out on Good Risings where she offers advice to everyday relational conundrums.   We first chatted back in 2021 before her debut book, I WANT THIS TO WORK, was released. The book is an inclusive guide to navigating the most challenging relationship issues. Couples will learn to work with three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. Written for both married and unmarried couples, this book brings an accessible guide to healing relationships and creating enduring intimacy. For more information, please visit www.elizabethearnshaw.com.   We talk about:  Her new book "I want this to work" and some of the challenges we face with modern relationships and dating  The importance of self-accountability and relational awareness  The concept of opposite action and how it can help you during times of anxiety in your relationship The things we should be looking for in a partner  How modeling from the relationships we witness plays a role in how we show up and experience our own relationships AND how to break that pattern The Gottman's 4 Horsemen - the 4 communication habits that can increase the likelihood of divorce How to express needs and boundaries, gridlock and willingness vs. willfulness, hot conversations vs. warm conversations  And SO much more!!    LINKS:  Follow Liz on Instagram Liz's Website  Get Liz's Book

Finding Flow and Connection with Laura Silverstein Finding Flow with Laura Silverstein Welcome back, fellow Open Nesters! In honor of Love Month, we recently had the absolute pleasure of hosting Laura Silverstein, author of Love is an Action Verb, for a deeply resonant encore discussion about finding more flow and connection in our relationships. As we navigate this “open nest” phase—a term we prefer over “empty nest” to reflect hearts and lives open to endless possibilities—having an expert like Laura, who is both a Gottman-trained therapist and a fellow traveler in this mid-life transition, felt like a true gift. At 53, Laura is right there with us, balancing a twenty-year marriage and the bittersweet transition of her own children heading off to college One of the most profound takeaways from our conversation was Laura's perspective on secure attachment and how we model it for our children, even as they become adults. She described secure attachment as the “net underneath them,” providing a sanctuary of comfort and trust so they know they are never alone in the world. For those of us struggling with the quiet of the house, Laura offered a beautiful reminder: we must provide reassurance of unconditional love, regardless of our children’s successes or failures. It is about “being with the moment” and accepting our role as a steady presence in their lives, even as they build their own worlds. We also dove deep into the mechanics of long-term partnership, particularly the Gottman concept of “bids for attention”. Laura calls these “micro-bursts of connection”—tiny actions like a winky-face text or a hug that lasts longer than twenty seconds to release oxytocin. These small gestures are the currency of love, and they don’t take much time, yet they set a precedent of warmth in a relationship. After the kids leave, it is vital to redirect that energy we once gave to our children back toward each other, actively cherishing the love we have built. The part of the interview that truly stayed with me—and that my co-host Amir and I are still digesting—is the idea that most conflict stems from a dream that is not being actualized. Laura explained that ongoing, distressing conflicts are often about a deep purpose or desire that is being suppressed. She shared a powerful “Dream Catcher” exercise where one partner acts as the dreamer and the other listens with deep curiosity, asking questions about the “why” and the “excitement” behind the dream rather than focusing on the logistics or the “how”. This shift from “stop doing this” to “this is why I need this for my soul” changes the entire landscape of compromise. We also touched on the importance of transparency and honesty regarding our individual core needs versus our areas of flexibility. Laura noted that when we give up a core need, we are essentially giving up our “bones and body,” moving out of integrity with ourselves. However, when we understand our partner's ultimate dreams, we find the motivation to be flexible in other areas—like my recent month-long solo trip to the ocean, a gift of “compersion” from my husband that brought renewed love and patience back into our primary partnership. As we wrapped up, Laura reminded us that the heart is a muscle that requires proactive exercise. Whether it is practicing “extreme gratitude” or engaging in “skydiving listening,” the goal is to expand our capacity for love through consistent, intentional action. I encourage you to check out Laura's website, LauraSilverstein.com, or follow her “Laura's Love Advice” on social media for more pragmatic tips on comforting those in pain and building inclusive, communicative relationships. In the interview, Laura Silverstein describes a Gottman Institute exercise where one partner acts as the “dreamer” and the other as the “dream catcher”. The goal of the dream catcher is to use deep, probing curiosity to understand the meaning behind a partner's desires rather than focusing on the logistics of how to achieve them. The Role of the Dream Catcher The dream catcher's job is to listen intently and ask open-ended, non-leading questions. They must avoid “yes or no” questions or practical concerns, such as “How are we going to afford this?” Core Dream Catcher Questions Laura highlighted several specific questions a partner can ask to uncover the “dream within a conflict” What is frightening for you about this? What is exciting for you about this? Why is this so important to you? What would it look like if this dream were actually actualized? How would you feel if this dream came true? What would you be doing in this best-case scenario? The Purpose of the Questions By asking these questions, the listener helps their partner expand on their vision. This allows the couple to identify core needs—things that are essential to a person’s integrity or “soul”—and separate them from areas of flexibility, where compromise is possible once the underlying dream is understood. About Tessa Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters. Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author, and, of course, Podcaster. Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa's specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature. If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives. Please email Tessa to make a connection. And visit her page here on the Open Nesters Website. If you like, please answer the question: What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE… Adventure  Freedom of Expression  Exploration and Fun  Body Movement  New circles of friends  Deep love relationships

Send us a textThere are moments in life when you realize — very clearly — who and what is holding you up. This week, I found myself thinking deeply about the people who show up quietly, consistently, and without needing anything in return. And it made me reflect on how much of what weighs us down isn't physical at all — it's emotional, and relational.This episode is an invitation to look at relationships differently. Not through the lens of fixing, forcing, or holding on tighter — but through honesty, acceptance, and relief. If you've ever felt exhausted by relationships, confused by love, or curious about what truly helps us feel lighter — this one is for you.References1.    Waldinger, R. J., & Schulz, M. S. (2010). What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness. Harvard Study of Adult Development, Harvard Medical School.2.    Waldinger, R. J. (2015). What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness. TED Talk. Harvard University.3.    Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237.4.    Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(3), 737–745.5.    Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.6.    Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26.Let's go, let's get it done. Get more information at: http://projectweightloss.org

Hi lovers, it's officially love month, and leading into Valentine's Day, we're revisiting some of the most powerful relationship advice we've heard on the podcast, from 3 of the internet's top couples therapists and relationship experts.Whether you're single or in a long-term relationship, this episode is for you if you're grappling with an anxious or avoidant attachment, fear around intimacy/relationships, or learning how to regulate and rebuild during conflict.Thankfully, I've had the privilege of talking with the best when it comes to navigating love and partnership, which has helped me immeasurably in building the foundation of my own relationship. So today, I'm bringing you a roundup of the top advice from:❤️ Baya Voce, MSW, Relationship Repair Expert (Supervised by Esther Perez): The art of repair, and how to maintain love and connection through conflict. Baya's 4-step relationship repair framework, why curiosity is the antidote to defensiveness, and how to stay regulated during conflict. (Listen to our full episode here.)❤️ Trevor Hanson, Marriage & Family Therapist, Founder of The Art of Healing: Why fear is the #1 killer of relationships and how to communicate through it. Plus, how to navigate common communication “landmines” and how anxious & avoidant partners can build safe emotional intimacy. (Listen to our full episode here.)❤️ Jess Baum, Psychotherapist, Couples Counselor, & Author of Anxiously Attached: How our attachment styles are amplified or healed based on your relationship, breaking our anxious attachment patterns and prioritizing consistent love, recognizing red and green flags in chemistry, and moving from codependency to interdependence. (Listen to our full episode here.)Wherever you are in your relationship journey, know that you are loved!  Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Caught in "not enough" or "too much" loops as an autistic or AuDHD adult—stuck in old patterns, feeling like your needs are a burden, or burning out trying to keep everyone else okay? This episode of Adulting With Autism dives into self-love for autistic adults with Christina Ketchen, a certified life and relationship coach trained in HeartMath®, Gottman, and the Hoffman Process, who brings both neuroscience and hard-won personal wisdom to healing.​ Christina talks about trauma loops—those familiar patterns and relationship dynamics that feel terrible but somehow also "normal"—and how they can quietly drain self-worth over time. She shares compassionate tools like heart-focused breathing to support the nervous system, "kind no's" that protect your energy ("This doesn't work for me—thank you"), and gentle self-talk that shifts you from "I am broken" to "I am human and learning."​ You will hear how patterns often started as protection, how faith/meaning can reframe pain without dismissing it, and why embracing your "messy" humanity is part of building real self-love, not a sign of failure. Christina also offers guidance for neurodivergent adults who feel guilty setting boundaries or fear that saying no will make people leave.​ This episode is especially helpful if you: Keep ending up in the same painful situations or relationships Struggle to hold boundaries without intense shame, fear, or backlash inside your own mind Are learning what self-love looks like for you as an autistic or AuDHD adult, beyond clichés and quick fixes If this conversation supports you, follow/subscribe to Adulting With Autism on YouTube Apple, or Spotify and leave a 5-star review so more neurodivergent adults can find it. Merch for your self-love journey: Get 20% off journals, tees, and "Self-Love Alchemist"–style merch with code PODCAST26 at the Adulting With Autism Fourthwall shop ( Linktree). Your support helps keep this podcast free for the community. Resources mentioned: Coaching and masterclasses with Christina at christinaketchen.com Her podcast The Self Love Shift

Wir besprechen in dieser Podcastfolge 5 typische Gründe, warum Gefühle verschwinden, welche Mechanismen dahinterstehen, welche Fehlannahmen viele Betroffene blockieren und welche Schritte helfen können, um emotional wieder erreichbar zu werden.Ebook "Gehen oder Bleiben"Date Night EbookMehr zu meinem Beratungsangebot (Paar-und Einzeltherapie)Kartenset für tiefe GesprächeStudienAron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D. J., Strong, G., & Brown, L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early‐stage intense romantic love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 94(1), 327–337.Eisenberger, N. I., & Lieberman, M. D. (2004). Why rejection hurts: A common neural alarm system for physical and social pain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8(7), 294–300.Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1999). What predicts change in marital interaction over time? Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61(4), 934–947.Lehmann, V., Denissen, J. J., Neumann, L., & van Zalk, M. H. (2016). Interpersonal behavior and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33(7), 1050–1071.McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., & Cohen, A. D. (2010). Forgiveness and health. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 3(6), 791–810.Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. (1984). Causal explanations as a risk factor for depression. Psychological Review, 91(3), 347–374.Reis, H. T., & Gable, S. L. (2015). Responsiveness. Current Opinion in Psychology, 1, 67–71.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole McNichols, psychologist, professor at the University of Washington, and author of You Could Be Having Better Sex, for one of the most honest, research-backed conversations we've ever had about sex, intimacy, and connection in long-term marriage.   This isn't about sex positions, tricks, or "trying harder." It's about why good marriages lose momentum over time, how pressure and expectations quietly kill desire, and why emotional connection is often the real foreplay. Dr. Nicole breaks down why scheduling sex can backfire, how shame and guilt around sex are learned early, and how curiosity—not performance—creates the kind of intimacy couples actually crave. I also share personal stories from my own marriage about connection, timing, and why mediocre sex just to "check the box" no longer works. If you want a healthier, more connected sex life, this episode gives you a roadmap grounded in science and real-life experience.     Timeline Summary [0:00] Why this episode isn't about sex positions or tricks [1:26] Introducing Dr. Nicole McNichols and her background [2:09] Why scheduling sex can quietly backfire [2:36] How pressure and expectation kill intimacy [2:58] Emotional connection as the real foreplay [3:36] Why intimacy dates matter more than sex calendars [5:18] How Dr. Nicole became a "sex professor" by accident [6:10] Loneliness, disconnection, and the role of sexual health [7:08] Shame, stigma, and misinformation around sex—especially for women [9:14] Why healthy sex improves forgiveness, health, and longevity [10:25] The failure of shame-based sex education [12:10] Countries with sex-positive education and better outcomes [13:18] Identifying the sources of shame we carry into marriage [15:09] Why sex shouldn't be the first thing sacrificed in busy seasons [16:07] Why conversations about sex should happen with clothes on [17:00] Using curiosity instead of pressure to improve intimacy [18:11] Announcement: Dad Edge Alliance February focus on intimacy and attraction [20:03] Curiosity vs. agenda in hard conversations [21:17] Why scheduling sex alone doesn't work [22:09] Creating the right context and mood for intimacy [23:24] Sexual effort that creates pressure instead of desire [24:55] Emotional lead-up and responsive desire [26:01] Initiation–rejection cycles and resentment [27:23] "Intimacy dates" and reconnecting outside the bedroom [29:11] Larry shares a personal story about connection over convenience [31:26] Choosing quality connection over mediocre sex [33:17] Maintenance sex vs. meaningful sexual connection [35:04] Balancing connection and realistic expectations [37:22] Long-term rejection cycles and rebuilding intimacy [39:00] Hormones, menopause, and why libido changes aren't personal [41:29] Division of labor, resentment, and loss of identity [43:48] Gottman research and why distance doesn't heal intimacy [45:43] Making your partner feel seen and heard [47:23] Listening vs. fixing in emotional conversations [49:13] Resources for better conversations with your wife and kids [49:31] Dr. Nicole's book and New York Times features [50:44] Where to find Dr. Nicole and her work [53:08] Why improving your sex life is a powerful way to start 2026     Five Key Takeaways Pressure and expectation kill desire, while curiosity and emotional safety create attraction.  Emotional connection is often the real foreplay, especially in long-term marriages.  Scheduling sex without context can backfire if couples don't create space to reconnect first.  Sexual shame is learned, and identifying its sources is the first step toward healthier intimacy.  Better sex isn't about frequency—it's about quality, safety, and connection.        Links & Resources 25 Intimate Conversation Starters: https://thedadedge.com/25questions Conversation Cards for Kids (Ages 5–Teen): https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions Dr. Nicole McNichols – Faculty Spotlight (University of Washington): https://psych.uw.edu/newsletter/summer-2020/faculty/faculty-spotlight-on-nicole-mcnichols New York Times – Modern Love Podcast Feature: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/07/podcasts/modern-love-better-sex-tips.html Book — You Could Be Having Better Sex Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1430     Closing Remark If this episode gave you language, clarity, or hope around intimacy in your marriage, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. Strong marriages don't drift into great sex—they build it intentionally, with curiosity, connection, and courage.

In this Q&A episode, I'm joined once again by Uncle Joe for a deep, honest conversation around one of the most painful places a man can find himself—feeling unwanted, disconnected, and hopeless in his marriage. We respond to a question from a husband who hasn't felt physical or emotional connection from his wife in over two years, and we unpack what really breaks down in marriages long before intimacy disappears.   This conversation goes far beyond surface-level advice. We talk about why most men were never trained for marriage, how resentment quietly builds, why treating marriage like a contract destroys connection, and how changing your internal narrative can shift everything. We also bring in perspectives from men inside the Dad Edge Alliance to show how humility, coachability, and intentional skill-building can restore trust, safety, and leadership at home. If your marriage feels distant or stuck, this episode offers clarity, hope, and a path forward.     Timeline Summary [0:00] Welcoming listeners to the third Q&A episode of January 2026 [1:19] Uncle Joe returns and the power of community-driven wisdom [2:13] Introducing a listener's marriage question about rejection and hopelessness [2:55] Why only 12% of married couples report feeling deeply connected [3:33] Asking the most important question: what have you actually learned about marriage? [4:26] Joe reflects on personal failure, divorce, and hard-earned lessons [5:14] Why hope exists if attraction once existed [5:35] How complacency and busyness quietly push marriage to the back burner [6:02] Marriage compared to learning an instrument—you can't wing it [7:21] Resentment, skill gaps, and whether marriages can truly be restored [8:05] Marriage as a covenant, not a contract [8:55] How destructive inner narratives shape behavior and connection [9:43] Transactional expectations and why they kill intimacy [10:41] Why "nice guy" energy erodes respect and attraction [11:30] Listening to understand instead of listening to defend [12:12] Mutual submission, humility, and shared leadership in marriage [13:15] Alliance member insight on asking for feedback from your wife [14:16] Faith, unity, and intentionally doing life together [15:49] Receiving feedback without ego or defensiveness [17:14] Emotional bank accounts and the power of daily deposits [18:50] Gottman's 5:1 and 10:1 ratios for healthy marriages [19:40] Giving your wife permission to coach you [20:45] Why conflict isn't the enemy—avoidance is [22:00] Reframing the role of a wife as a strengthener, not a subordinate [23:17] "It's not me vs. you, it's us vs. the problem" [23:43] Larry shares a personal season of anger and choosing humility [25:16] How couples can build something better than what they had before [25:51] Episode wrap-up and where to find resources     Five Key Takeaways Most men were never taught how to lead a marriage, and guessing your way through it creates disconnection.  Marriage breaks down through narratives and resentment long before intimacy disappears.  Treating marriage like a covenant—not a contract—changes everything.  Emotional deposits made consistently rebuild trust and safety over time.  When couples unite against the problem instead of each other, restoration becomes possible.      Links & Resources Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/alliance The Legendary Marriage Book: https://thedadedge.com/legendarybook Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1429     Closing Remark If this episode resonated with where you're at in your marriage, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. You don't have to figure this out alone—skill-building, humility, and brotherhood can change the direction of your marriage and your family. From my heart to yours, go out and live legendary.

Wer eine glückliche Beziehung führen möchte, sucht oft nach einer großen Erkenntnis oder einer spektakulären Methode. Doch die Wahrheit ist viel subtiler.Hier geht es zum Beziehungsjournal (Probleme früher abfangen und besser kommunizieren)Hier erfährst du mehr über meine Arbeit als Paartherapeutin und mein Beratungsteam.Wenn du mich und den Podcast unterstützen möchtest, dann bewerte den Podcast gerne und schicke ihn an jemanden weiter, der sich auch dafür interessieren würde. StudienCoan, J. A., Schaefer, H. S., & Davidson, R. J. (2006). Lending a Hand. Psychological Science, 17(12), 1032–1039.Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “What” and “Why” of Goal Pursuits. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.Gable, S. L., Gonzaga, G. C., & Strachman, A. (2006). Will You Be There for Me When Things Go Right? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 904–917.Gottman, J. M. (1994). What Predicts Divorce? Lawrence Erlbaum.Levenson, R. W., Carstensen, L. L., & Gottman, J. M. (1993). Long-Term Marriage. Psychology and Aging, 8(2), 301–313.McCullough, M. E., Worthington, E. L., & Rachal, K. (1998). Interpersonal Forgiving. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 1586–1603.Rauer, A., & Volling, B. (2005). More Than One Way to Be Happy. Personal Relationships, 12(4), 495–511.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2871: Dr. Kathy McMahon explains how the way a conversation begins can make or break connection in a relationship. By using Gottman's Soft Start-Up, a gentle, respectful approach centered on "I" statements and emotional safety, couples can transform conflict into collaboration and deepen intimacy through empathy and trust. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.couplestherapyinc.com/softened-start-up-gottmans-way-to-gentle-beginnings/ Quotes to ponder: "Lead with kindness and respect. This significantly reduces the likelihood of these toxic behaviors." "By practicing Soft Start-Up, the couple learns to see each other as allies rather than adversaries." "You are letting your partner know you aren't picking a fight, just asking for behavior change."

Kameran is a Gottman certified marriage coach, the host of The Married and Connected Podcast, and the founder of the Recognizing Potential Coaching Program. In this program, Kameran meets monogamous couples where they're at to help them strengthen their marriage by coaching them to deepen connection, improve communication, and apply tools needed to create the healthy marriage they envision and desire.Kameran is known for her authenticity, straightforward nature and her ability to help couples with even the most complex of circumstances with a 97% success rate. Kameran's Website: www.recognizingpotential.com

WATCH NOW: https://youtu.be/eiPBKWvxPjUSome conversations don't just sound good… they shift you.In this episode of The Love You Moore Show, I sat down with Dr. Sarah Fontenot (straight outta Saskatchewan, Canada) and we went all the way in on what's REALLY breaking relationships in 2025.We talked about:• why so many people choose partners out of pressure, trauma, and fear• the difference between high-earning and high-value• how women can communicate needs without going to war• why men feel like they have to stay “tough” and how that's costing us• and what it actually looks like to build peace, alignment, and a relationship rooted in GodAnd listen… when she broke down the “logic vs emotion” gap, and how masculinity and femininity collide when we don't know how to repair conflict? Whew. It got REAL in that room.If you're dating, married, divorced, healing, or trying to do it right this time—this one is for you.✅ Make sure you subscribe, share, and drop in the comments what part hit you the hardest.00:00 – Why women choose relationships (pressure vs alignment)02:15 – Willie's “icebreaker” + relationship song moment04:16 – Proposed to twice… why she said “hold up”06:30 – “Talk is cheap” + vetting process shifting08:12 – Breadcrumbs, therapy, and choosing yourself08:48 – “40 is knocking” + success vs family question10:37 – High earning women + attracting the man you say you want12:18 – “Put your trauma down” (bars)14:32 – If he falls off financially… will she still love him?16:24 – Not demonizing women, nature, safety, and security18:10 – What she won't bring into her future relationship19:50 – “I never saw my parents fight… so I didn't learn repair”21:35 – Cues, triggers, and emotional regulation (neck gets hot)24:00 – Gottman's Four Horsemen explained26:06 – How women can communicate needs without conflict28:14 – Men feeling unappreciated + staffing the home29:31 – Hack for men: logic won't work with emotion32:42 – “Say sorry” without defensiveness (real-time example)37:05 – Audience reaction: “We don't care about the track record!”41:30 – Boundaries + respect: what happens when she keeps going45:04 – Femininity tests + why it's really about safety50:01 – Marriage feels like death sometimes (real talk)52:03 – When vulnerability gets used in arguments55:54 – Willie's boundary: no late-night conflict, protect her heart58:12 – Creating safety during conflict + repair01:04:24 – How do we help Black men heal from “toughness”?01:10:24 – “Do I still want marriage?” Vision for the next season01:15:01 – Celibacy, choosing right, and honoring yourself01:16:15 – Willie's closing: reframe the pain, love you more✨ Connect with us:Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=32743148

For many of us complaining is just second-nature. It's what we do when we want things to be different or when we want someone to see our struggle. And yet, complaining has a natural byproduct of shutting other people down, especially when the complaint is directed towards them. When we can learn to express our wants and desires in ways other than complaining, we are much more likely to be heard and understood and create connection in our relationships rather than isolation and frustration. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify #258 Communication That Connects on Apple on Spotify #286 How Miscommunication Destroys Relationships on Apple on Spotify #298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify #302 Gottman's Four Horsemen - Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy on Apple on Spotify #309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify #341 Choosing to Be All In on Apple on Spotify #357 How to Be More Understanding on Apple on Spotify #384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify #389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2860: Mary Beth George explores the real meaning of trust and commitment through the lens of her 25-year marriage, blending personal anecdotes with insights from the Gottmans' relationship framework. Her reflections highlight how daily choices, shared hardships, and intentional appreciation can build emotional safety and deepen intimacy in long-term partnerships. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-does-trust-and-commitment-look-like-in-a-relationship/ Quotes to ponder: "Commitment is really a verb because it is the actions you take daily to let your partner know we are with them and that you make decisions with them in mind." "When you cherish your partner, you feel that they're irreplaceable. You simply cannot imagine your life without them, even when times are rough." "You create trust and safety by turning towards them to work out your differences." Episode references: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love: https://www.amazon.com/Eight-Dates-Essential-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/1523504463

Ready to conquer 2026 with your partner? In this powerful episode of Married Into Crazy, hosts Snooks and Lovvy tackle one of the biggest relationship challenges couples face during New Year planning: Do your goals need to be perfectly aligned with your spouse's? After 29 years of marriage (and surviving near-death experiences, a divorce request, and countless goal mismatches), these certified Gottman relationship coaches reveal the truth: You don't rise to the level of your goals—you fall to the level of your systems. What You'll Learn:  ✅ Why goal alignment is overrated – and what actually matters for relationship success  ✅ The "Harris Intercept" method – a Venn diagram approach to identifying shared priorities vs. individual pursuits ✅ How to support different goals without resentment, shame, or feeling left out  ✅ The accountability framework that prevents conflict when one partner falls off track  ✅ Real talk about fitness, business, and personal goals – when Snooks wants pizza and Lovvy's doing 75 Hard  ✅ The C.R.A.Z.Y. framework – Five pillars that saved their marriage (Compassionate, Real, Accountable, Zealous, Yielding)  Episode Highlights: 03:44 – The stabbing story: How Lovvy survived a near-fatal attack by Snooks's ex just 5 days after getting engaged 13:16 – Do couples really need the same goals? The debate begins 17:00 – The "Harris Intercept": A game-changing tool for negotiating priorities 22:00 – When one partner is eating pizza and the other is on 75 Hard: Real-world goal conflicts 28:29 – James Clear's wisdom: "You fall to the level of your systems, not rise to your goals" 32:40 – Snooks gets vulnerable: Learning to be compassionate, real, and yielding in marriage Whether you're a singlepreneur, couplepreneur, or marriedpreneur, this episode offers actionable strategies to make 2026 your best year yet—together or individually (but still connected!).  Resources Mentioned: Atomic Habits by James Clear – The book that transformed their approach to goals Married Into Crazy Winter Ball & Marriage Conference – February 6-7, 2026 (tickets at marriedintocrazy.com) Gottman Method Couples Therapy – The framework Snooks & Lovvy use in their coaching OL and Sway Interview – Episode on singlepreneurs, couplepreneurs, and marriedpreneurs  Shoutouts:

Nine Simple Practices That Strengthen Relationships Summary In Episode #99 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis celebrate their 99th episode by sharing nine powerful practices couples can use to strengthen connection, deepen trust, and build meaningful intimacy. Each principle is grounded in years of clinical experience, neuroscience, and relationship research—while remaining practical and accessible for real-life relationships. Together they explore why emotional safety is the foundation of all connection, the importance of ownership over blame, and how consistent attunement builds emotional closeness. They emphasize spending intentional time together, rebuilding trust through small daily actions, learning to emotionally regulate before communicating, and facing—not avoiding—conflict. They also highlight how positive relational interactions nurture bonding and why dreaming and planning for the future together creates shared hope and purpose. Listeners are encouraged to start small, picking one area to work on, knowing that meaningful relationships are built one intentional step at a time. Key References & Influences These concepts draw from established research and recognized thought leaders in relationships, trauma, emotional regulation, and neurobiology: Polyvagal Theory & Safety Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Emotional Attunement & Attachment Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician's Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration. Trust and Relationship Repair Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Gottman, J. (2011). What Makes Love Last? Ownership vs. Blame / Emotional Responsibility Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong. Conflict Resolution & The Zeigarnik Effect Zeigarnik, B. (1927). On Finished and Unfinished Tasks. Psychologische Forschung. Hope & Future Orientation Seligman, M. (2018). The Hope Circuit: A Psychologist's Journey from Helplessness to Optimism. Trauma, Safety & Human Connection van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Conference Invitation If you're ready to go deeper in strengthening your relationship, we invite you to join us at the Human Intimacy 2nd Annual Conference. Use coupon code 50off to receive 50% off registration (limited time): https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/   Online Supplemental Course: (It's Free) The Human Intimacy Companion Course  

Episode Description: Kick off 2026 by decluttering your mind and marriage! In this episode, we explore how cluttered beliefs create misery in relationships and share 14 destructive marriage myths backed by research from experts like John Gottman, Murray Bowen, David Schnarch, and Carol Dweck. Learn healthier alternatives to foster deeper connection, reduce resentment, and build a fulfilling partnership. Perfect for couples seeking healthy relationship tips, toxic belief deconstruction, and marriage advice grounded in science.Keywords: toxic marriage beliefs, declutter your marriage, healthy relationship tips 2026, Gottman marriage research, Bowen family systems theory, Schnarch intimacy advice, Harvard happiness study relationships.The 14 Destructive Beliefs & Healthier Alternatives"My spouse should make me happy / complete me." Faulty due to external locus of control leading to lower satisfaction (Australian Study). Alternative: "My spouse is a companion in my happiness—I am responsible for my own emotional well-being.""If they really loved me, they'd know what I need without me saying it." Mind-reading expectations cause conflict (Mind-Reading Study; ResearchGate PDF). Alternative: "Love includes clear, kind communication about my needs and feelings.""A happy marriage means we never fight or have conflict." Gottman's research shows 69% of issues are perpetual (Gottman Institute). Alternative: "Conflict is an opportunity to understand each other better and grow closer through repair.""My partner should change to fix our problems." Satisfaction driven by perceptions, not partner change (PNAS Study). Alternative: "I can only change myself. Leading by example often invites positive shifts in my partner.""Disparate sexual desires mean we're incompatible." Normal in all relationships per Schnarch's "sexual crucible" (Crucible Institute; Psychology Today). Alternative: "Differences in desire are normal and offer growth opportunities.""Keeping score of who does more is fair and necessary." Breeds resentment; generosity boosts satisfaction (

Have you ever experienced the ‘blindsided' breakup, the ‘soap opera' breakup or the ‘flat soda' breakup? How about the ‘first love' breakup or the ‘legal' breakup? Today on the One Life Radio Podcast Dr. DeWone Bennett joins Bernadette Fiaschetti to wrap-up 2025 and discuss a very hot topic! ”The December Dilemma: Why the Season of Love and Peace Sparks Breakups.” They discussed the book “Break Up on Purpose” by John Kim. Kim makes the case for eight different types of breakups. Dr. Bennett has over eighteen years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of the book series “The Playbook Series.” He also lights up the stage as a keynote speaker and corporate mental health and wellness trainer.Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance. As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, Dr. Bennett continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. 

This week on Conversations for Couples, Julie and David Bulitt talk with nationally recognized marriage and family therapist Dr. Becky Whetstone, also known as the Marriage Crisis Manager. Becky is the author of I Think I Want Out and brings her decades of experience helping couples navigate the brink of divorce with honesty, strategy, and heart. In this episode, the three dive deep into what really happens when one partner quietly checks out, the surprising traits that predict a happy marriage (hint: flexibility matters more than romance), and why so many people never say they're unhappy—until it's too late.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2836: Heather Gray reveals that silence, not conflict, is often the silent killer of connection in long-term relationships. By unpacking the emotional cost of avoidance and offering practical, compassionate scripts for re-engaging, she empowers partners to speak up before emotional distance becomes permanent. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/break-silence-marriage/ Quotes to ponder: "Silence is giving up and I don't want to do that." "Sometimes silence is a deliberate choice. No one is yelling or using disrespectful language. However, those on the receiving end of such silence hear the message, "You have ceased to matter." "Partners stop talking because they fear what might happen after the conversation starts."  

Send us a textIn this powerful solo episode, Andrea Atherton invites listeners into the heart of conscious love through the transformative framework of 8 Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. With her signature blend of warmth, depth, and clinical wisdom, Andrea unpacks the research behind the book and reveals why these eight core conversations are essential for creating a relationship anchored in trust, intimacy, and emotional truth. This episode is an invitation to step into intentional love—whether you're dating someone new or committed to strengthening a long-term partnership.Andrea gently guides listeners through each of the eight topics, illuminating how they shape the inner architecture of a healthy relationship. She explores the emotional significance behind trust, conflict repair, intimacy, money, family history, play, personal growth, and long-term vision. Listeners will learn how to communicate their needs with clarity, how to listen with generosity, and how to build relationship rituals that deepen connection over time. Andrea's guidance offers both practical tools and heartfelt inspiration, making these conversations feel accessible, empowering, and deeply human.This episode is perfect for anyone longing for love that feels safe, courageous, and alive. Andrea offers reflection prompts, communication practices, and gentle suggestions to help you bring these conversations into your own relationship with intention and grace. Episode 231 is more than an exploration of the 8 Dates framework; it is a reminder that meaningful love is created moment by moment, conversation by conversation, when we dare to show up with honesty and an open heart.30-minute Consultation with Andrea https://www.andreaatherton.com/booking-calendarAndrea Atherton Websitehttps://www.andreaatherton.com/Love Anarchy Websitehttps://www.andreaatherton.com/podcasthttps://loveanarchypodcast.buzzsprout.comLove Anarchy Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/loveanarchypodcast/Andrea Atherton Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/andreaatherton-17/

  Emotional Ownership: Understanding and Responding to Your Inner World Summary In this timely episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most essential—and most avoided—skills in relationships: emotional ownership. As the holiday season intensifies stress, loneliness, old family wounds, and relational tension, the ability to understand and take responsibility for our internal world becomes even more vital. Together, they break down what emotional ownership looks like and what it does not look like. Using real-life examples, including a vulnerable story from Dr. Skinner, the conversation highlights how quickly couples slip into blame, shame spirals, and reactive “hot” responses. MaryAnn emphasizes the role of tone, kindness, and Gottman's concept of positive sentiment override, while Dr. Skinner demonstrates how owning one's emotional experience opens the door to connection rather than conflict. Listeners will learn: Why people often don't know what they feel—and why that's okay How holiday dynamics intensify emotional triggers The difference between owning an emotion and shifting responsibility How tone and delivery change everything in difficult conversations How shame, avoidance, and catastrophizing block intimacy Why slowing down your internal experience leads to deeper connection How emotional ownership becomes the foundation of relational safety, trust, and maturity The episode ends with practical guidance on taking responsibility for your own emotions, choosing kindness, and knowing when deeper therapeutic work is needed. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn invite listeners to reflect honestly on their emotional patterns and make conscious choices that lead to healthier, more intimate relationships. Resources Mentioned Books & Authors Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu — The Book of Forgiving Explores the fourfold path to forgiveness, including moving through anger, grief, and acceptance. John Gottman — Research on Bids for Connection & Positive Sentiment Override Essential relationship frameworks explaining how couples build or deplete emotional trust. Dr. Kevin Skinner — Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal A clinical guide to understanding trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, and healing after betrayal. Concepts & Clinical Frameworks Emotional Ownership vs. Emotional Shifting Taking responsibility for internal experience rather than blaming or projecting. Tone & Delivery in Conflict How softening your approach changes relational outcomes. Fight–Flight–Freeze–Fawn Responses Understanding physiological reactions to emotional threat. Shame Spirals Patterns where individuals turn against themselves in moments of relational stress. Betrayal Trauma Responses & Trigger Cycles Why certain relational moments evoke intense reactions. Therapeutic Support Individual Therapy When emotions feel overwhelming, confusing, or out of control. Couples Therapy For recurring patterns of blame, avoidance, or emotional disconnection. Links Human Intimacy Conference – 50% Off Through December 2025 (Coupon Code: 50off) 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference 2026 (Coupon code available on website; offer valid through Dec 31, 2025) Human Intimacy Podcast Homepage https://www.humanintimacy.com/podcast Human Intimacy Main Site https://www.humanintimacy.com  

The number one way to tank the holidays for your family isn't burnt rolls, forgotten gifts, or a crooked tree. It's walking into every room wound tight, resentful, and pretending your energy isn't affecting anyone.In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down what kids actually remember about the holidays (hint: not the matching pajamas) and why your nervous system becomes the emotional backdrop of the season. Drawing from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child, Gottman's research, and Polyvagal Theory, they explain how kids store emotional memories more deeply than the details of any event.You'll hear real-life stories, honest confessions, and simple tools to help you pause before you snap, breathe through triggers, and become more of a thermostat than a tornado.Plus, they'll walk you through practical ways to share the holiday mental load, so you're not carrying 99% of the invisible prep while resenting everyone else.If the holidays feel heavy, you're not failing. You're just carrying too much alone. Let's change that.In this episode, we talk about:Why the emotional climate of the home matters more than perfect food, outfits, or décorHow kids “remember” holidays in their bodies, not just with their mindsWhat research from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child, Gottman, and Polyvagal Theory tells us about stress, safety, and childhood memoriesThe difference between being “yourself” and becoming an emotional tornado in a shared spaceWhy moms especially feel pressure to “make it magical” and how that pressure slides into performance modeCommon holiday nervous system triggers:Family dynamics that make you feel like you're 12 againFinancial strain and gift pressureSchedules being completely off (bedtimes, routines, sugar, travel)A simple nervous system reset you can use in the bathroom, car, or closet in 20–30 secondsHow to take a pause without abandoning the conversation or triggering your partnerUsing micro-plans and 5-minute check-ins to prevent 80% of holiday resentmentHow to share the load before you explode (including using a “mental load brain dump” list together)10-Day Holiday Mental Load Series – short daily videos to help you regulate, set boundaries, and share the load this season.Holiday Mental Load Brain Dump / Template – get everything out of your head and into a shared plan with your partner.Our Current Offers for Expecting and New Parents – coaching, workshops, and resources at: postpartumtogether.com → “Current Offerings.”

Host: Kam — Marriage Coach, Gottman-trained Episode: Sleep & Shared Rhythms SeriesEpisode SummaryTonight's episode dives into one of the most underrated marriage habits: going to bed at the same time. No, it's not about forcing one partner to stay awake or having the perfect bedtime routine. It's about the micro-moments of connection that happen when couples sync their rhythms.We talk about:Why shared bedtimes increase emotional connection, intimacy, and trustWhat the research says about sleep syncing and marital satisfactionHow bedtime can become a ritual of safety, peace, and closenessWhat to do if you and your spouse naturally have different chronotypesThe sneaky ways separate bedtimes create “roommate syndrome”Practical steps to slowly shift into a shared rhythm without pressure or resentmentIf you're craving more connection, this is one of the simplest—and most powerful—places to start.What You'll LearnThe psychological comfort created by falling asleep next to someone you feel bonded toHow shared bedtimes naturally increase sex frequency (without forcing anything)Why your nervous system regulates better when you fall asleep with your spouseReal-life examples of couples who fixed distance in their marriage by fixing bedtimeHow to build a bedtime rhythm even in busy seasons, shift work, or with kidsTry This Tonight (Homework)Choose 1 night this week to go to bed at the same time.Climb into bed, put your phones away, keep the TV off (or take it out of your room completely), and share ONE thing:What felt good today?What felt hard?How can I love you well tomorrow?End the day with physical closeness—a hug, a kiss, hand-holding, or just touching feet.Micro-connection builds macro-trust.Links & ResourcesMarriage Membership on Skool: The community for couples who want connection, growth, and peaceWork With Kam: Book a marriage coaching session to discuss coaching optionsIf You Loved This Episode…Please take 2 seconds to rate the podcast—it helps more couples find hope, connection, and support.Support the show

We finish our series on the Gottman Principles from their book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Struggling with relationship anxiety and fear of intimacy or rejection? This episode will guide you through anxious and avoidant attachment patterns, to the core healing that can help us find confidence and security in relationships.I'm joined by Trevor Hanson, a marriage and family therapist who has helped thousands of individuals and couples heal attachment wounds and build secure, connected, confident relationships. His work has been featured by the Gottman Institute, and he's the founder of The Art of Healing, where he teaches frameworks for transforming insecurity into emotional safety.We break down the real reasons we often feel insecure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful in relationships… and how to finally feel secure, grounded, and confident in love. You'll learn the tools, communication shifts, and emotional skills that create safe + connected relationships.In this episode, we cover:How to build real confidence in relationships (and the cost of not working on your confidence)Why insecurity, fear, and jealousy appear — even in good relationshipsPractical tools for anxious attachment self-soothingWhy fear is the #1 killer of relationships and how to move through itHow avoidant partners can build emotional intimacy without feeling overwhelmedFear-based motivation vs love-based motivationHow to navigate communication “landmines'How to support a partner who feels fear or anxiety in the relationshipThe TEMPO framework and how it interrupts anxious spiralsFollow Trevor on InstagramTrevor's website: https://theartofhealingbytrevor.com  Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

In this heartfelt episode of the Music and Therapy Podcast, relationship coach Keana W. Mitchell explores the essential role of emotional intimacy in healthy relationships. Building on last week's episode, The Power of Apology and Forgiveness in Love, Keana explains how emotional safety, vulnerability, and trust are the foundation of lasting connection and how the absence of emotional intimacy can lead to loneliness, conflict, and emotional withdrawal.You'll learn what emotional intimacy truly means, why it's not a luxury but a necessity, and how to recognize when it's missing. Keana shares research by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. John Gottman, highlighting how emotional intimacy erodes when couples stop turning toward each other and ignore bids for connection.This episode also includes five Gottman-inspired healing exercises and two homework assignments designed to help you stop conflict and start connecting whether you're in a relationship or doing the inner work solo.

We explore how the Enneagram, mindfulness, and personal values help couples understand patterns, reduce conflict, and build trust. Amanda Ford shares practical tools to translate differences into connection, redefine compatibility, and communicate requests with clarity and care.• Nine types as lenses for patterns and needs• Head, heart, body centers explained with examples• Using insights without labeling or blaming• Mindfulness as embodied awareness for self-regulation• Yoga practices that calm the nervous system• Brené Brown's values exercise for clarity and alignment• Nonviolent Communication for value-based requests• Gottman love maps to stay current and curious• Compatibility across practical, wavelength, and intimacy• Acceptance over sameness to fuel repair and goodwill• Tools and resources: test links, books, and appsSubscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend. Follow us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage. For more resources, visit strongermarriage.org.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3190: Ellen Boeder explores how emotional safety is essential for deep, lasting connection in romantic relationships. She outlines how nervous system regulation, authentic expression, and trust-building practices create the conditions for vulnerability and intimacy to thrive. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/emotional-safety-is-necessary-for-emotional-connection/ Quotes to ponder: "Emotional safety is what allows us to let our guard down and be authentic with our partners." "When we feel safe, our nervous system is regulated enough to access the higher brain functions necessary for connection." "Without emotional safety, the parts of ourselves that are scared, ashamed, or hurt stay hidden." Episode references: Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges: https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Neurophysiological-Emotion-Communication/dp/0393707008 Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Developmental-Trauma-Resolution-Nervous/dp/1583944893 Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson: https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Me-Tight-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/031611300X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2801: Liz Higgins shares actionable strategies for approaching in-law dynamics with empathy, boundaries, and self-awareness during the holiday season. By prioritizing communication with your partner and setting realistic expectations, you can avoid people-pleasing traps, reduce conflict, and even find ways to build meaningful connections with your extended family. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-navigate-holidays-with-your-in-laws/ Quotes to ponder: "Every marriage is a cross-cultural experience regardless of whether people are from different or the same cultures." "People-pleasing your way through the holidays will lead to you feeling drained, anxious, and resentful." "You do not have to accept an invitation into an altercation or family feud."

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3190: Ellen Boeder explores how emotional safety is essential for deep, lasting connection in romantic relationships. She outlines how nervous system regulation, authentic expression, and trust-building practices create the conditions for vulnerability and intimacy to thrive. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/emotional-safety-is-necessary-for-emotional-connection/ Quotes to ponder: "Emotional safety is what allows us to let our guard down and be authentic with our partners." "When we feel safe, our nervous system is regulated enough to access the higher brain functions necessary for connection." "Without emotional safety, the parts of ourselves that are scared, ashamed, or hurt stay hidden." Episode references: Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges: https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Neurophysiological-Emotion-Communication/dp/0393707008 Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Developmental-Trauma-Resolution-Nervous/dp/1583944893 Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson: https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Me-Tight-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/031611300X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What to do when your partner shuts down. In the second of Gottman's 'Four Horseman' series, Dr. Adam and Laurie address this destructive behavior and how to get through the seemingly unbreakable barriers of a silent a partner.    Like us? Send us some love on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We sit down with Dr. Jordan Rullo to unpack why sexual desire often misfires, how brakes and gas shape intimacy, and why responsive desire is just as healthy as spontaneous desire. We share practical tools to manage mismatch, avoid pressure, and build trust through small rituals.• Brake and gas model of sexual function• Causes of low desire across biology, psychology, relationship, culture• Spontaneous versus responsive desire explained• Desire discrepancy as a perpetual problem and acceptance• Why scheduling sex backfires and scheduling connection works• Avoidant dynamic and how rejection spirals happen• Consensual unwanted sex and bodily autonomy• When to involve medical providers and rule out health issues• Friendship, trust, and Gottman's Magic Six Hours• Weekly State of the Union and sexual communication habits• Prioritization, maintenance plans, and recommended resourcesBe sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friendYou can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger MarriageVisit strongermarriage.org for free workshops, e-courses, webinars, surveys, and moreSubscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage CommissionVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

This Halloween, Darin turns the spotlight from ghosts and goblins to the real ones that haunt us — the memories, wounds, and traumas stored deep within our bodies and minds. In this cinematic special, he revisits some of the most powerful guests from past SuperLife episodes — Lori Woodley, Kyle Nicolaides, Dr. Aimee Apigian, Jules Schroeder, Maya Raichoora, Dr. Max Butterfield, Dr. Jess Stavale, Dani Fontaine, and Josh Macin — weaving together a spellbinding journey through emotional alchemy, mind-body science, and spiritual restoration. From the fascia to the endocannabinoid system, from visualization to detoxification, Darin explores how healing trauma is not about running from darkness but transmuting it into light. This episode is a hauntingly beautiful reminder that acknowledging our pain can become the path to our deepest purpose. What You'll Learn in This Episode [00:00] Welcome to SuperLife — igniting possibilities for a better, sovereign world [00:00:32] Sponsor: EnergyBits — the most concentrated whole-food nutrition on Earth [00:01:51] Happy Halloween — Darin introduces the real "ghosts" we carry within us [00:02:11] What trauma really is and why it's stored in the body, not just the mind [00:03:29] The science behind stored trauma — how fascia, endocannabinoids, and cells hold the score [00:04:14] Why facing trauma is the path to freedom — transmuting pain into purpose [00:04:50] Revisiting powerful past guests with new insight and wisdom [00:05:09] The integration principle — why real healing must unite mind, body, and biology [00:05:36] Practical techniques you can use today: breathwork, somatic release, visualization [00:05:58] How art and creativity can release stored trauma and regulate emotions [00:06:35] Facing our ghosts: turning pain into our most heroic journey [00:07:04] Guest highlight – Lori Woodley: "Crossing Backwards" and breaking free from autopilot [00:08:24] The exercise that reveals how easily we live on autopilot — and how to disrupt it [00:09:30] Two steps forward: how small, conscious actions shift your entire life [00:11:29] Learning to ask for what you truly need — the root of emotional intelligence [00:12:51] Guest highlight – Kyle Nicolaides: Finding purpose through depression [00:13:12] Depression as initiation — the "dead decade" that led to divine reconnection [00:16:01] Realizing depression isn't the enemy — it's a sacred messenger [00:17:05] The power of reframing suffering as wisdom waiting to be revealed [00:17:30] Guest highlight – Dr. Aimee Apigian: Trauma, biology, and building inner safety [00:18:10] The three layers of trauma repair: mind, body, and biology [00:19:30] Taking responsibility for your healing — no one can regulate you but you [00:20:21] Trauma bonds and projections — how unhealed pain shapes relationships [00:21:15] Guest highlight – Jules Schroeder: Start with the breath [00:21:44] The "Perfect Breath" — 4 seconds in, 6 seconds out through the nose [00:22:27] How 7.5 hours of mindful breathing can reprogram your nervous system [00:23:36] Removing stress before adding more — foundational calm before growth [00:24:07] Sponsor: Our Place Cookware — eliminating toxins from your kitchen [00:27:00] Guest highlight – Maya Raichoora: Visualization as a rewiring tool for trauma [00:27:54] Five visualization techniques: outcome, process, creative, negative, explorative [00:29:18] The neuroscience of imagery — how your body reacts to imagined experience [00:31:38] Lemon exercise — proving your mind and body are one [00:33:13] Using visualization for emotional resilience, performance, and healing [00:34:33] Explorative visualization — channeling creativity like Einstein or Disney [00:35:41] Guest highlight – Dr. Max Butterfield: Emotional regulation and relationships [00:36:10] The Gottman principles — why contempt destroys relationships [00:37:15] Why emotional regulation matters more than compatibility [00:38:02] The modern self-regulation crisis — how disconnection fuels chaos [00:39:01] Guest highlight – Dr. Jess Stavale: Fascia — the body's emotional network [00:39:55] How fascia stores trauma and connects all bodily systems [00:40:45] The fascia as a quantum interface between body and emotion [00:41:33] How to integrate physical and emotional therapy for release [00:43:12] Patreon segment — building sovereignty and community through conscious living [00:44:21] Guest highlight – Dani Fontaine: The endocannabinoid system explained [00:44:45] The ECS as the body's "master balance system" — how it keeps all others aligned [00:45:31] Understanding energy, vibration, and homeostasis [00:46:43] Why overstimulation blocks healing and how to recalibrate [00:47:25] Sound, light, and frequency as inputs for cellular communication [00:48:16] Guest highlight – Josh Macin: Parasites, detox, and terrain theory [00:49:00] The biological link between toxicity, trauma, and emotion [00:50:12] How acidity and chemicals create disease and disconnect [00:52:17] Parasites and the metaphysical mirror — cleansing darkness from within [00:54:27] Annual detox protocols — why cleansing is essential for clarity [00:55:36] Closing reflections — integrating body, mind, and spirit for full release [00:57:20] Darin's final message: healing is sacred, not spooky — the path back to your SuperLife Thank You to Our Sponsors: Our Place: Toxic-free, durable cookware that supports healthy cooking. Use code DARIN for 10% off at fromourplace.com. EnergyBits: Get 20% off your entire order by going to https://energybits.com/ and using code DARIN at checkout. SuperLife Patreon Join the SuperLife Patreon: deeper conversations, extended interviews, wellness challenges, and community connection. https://patreon.com/darinolien/ Connect with Darin Olien: Website: darinolien.com Instagram: @darinolien Book: Fatal Conveniences Platform & Products: superlife.com Key Takeaway "Acknowledging the ghosts within isn't a horror story — it's a homecoming. Trauma isn't here to punish you, it's here to teach you. When you meet it with breath, awareness, and compassion, you stop running from the dark and begin to walk in your light."

In this episode, we'll talk about how marriage isn't just destroyed by the big blowups—but more often by the small, everyday moments when we ignore each other's bids for connection, and how learning to “turn toward” instead of “turn away” can change everything.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Many couples believe that divorce comes from big, explosive issues—infidelity, money problems, or major betrayals. But according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, it's often not the big things that break a marriage. It's the small, everyday moments—missed chances to connect—that slowly build up into bitterness and resentment over time.What Is a “Bid” for Connection?Gottman calls these small moments “bids.” A bid is any attempt from one partner to get attention, affection, affirmation, or support from the other. Bids can be loud or quiet, obvious or subtle.Examples:“How do I look?” (Translation: Can I have your attention?)“Getting the kids to bed is hard.” (Translation: Can I have your help?)A spouse sitting down next to you on the couch. (Translation: Can I be near you?)Whether you notice these bids and how you respond to them will shape the health of your marriage—far more than you might think.The 3 Ways to Respond to a BidEvery time your spouse makes a bid for connection, you have three ways to respond. Over time, your pattern of responses becomes the emotional climate of your relationship.1. Turning TowardThis is the healthy response. When you turn toward a bid, you engage with your partner's attempt to connect. It could be as simple as answering their question, offering a smile, or stopping what you're doing to give them your attention.Example:Spouse: “Look at this funny video.”Turning Toward: “Haha! That's great. Show me another.”What it does: Builds trust, intimacy, and love. Each “turning toward” moment is like a small deposit in the bank account of your marriage.Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”Kind responses create peace and connection.2. Turning AwayThis is the neutral-to-negative response. You ignore the bid, act distracted, or give a half-hearted answer.Example:Spouse: “Can we talk after dinner?”Turning Away: “Uh-huh…” (while scrolling your phone)What it does: Over time, this makes your partner feel invisible or unimportant. They may stop reaching out altogether.Philippians 2:4 – “Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”Marriage thrives when both spouses make each other a priority.3. Turning AgainstThis is the harmful response. You react with sarcasm, criticism, or irritation. It not only ignores the bid, but...

Who knew that there were so many ways we could engage in mental and emotional abusive behaviors.  Because so much of what we do has been modeled after behavior we experienced growing up, we often don't see the hurt and dysfunction in those behaviors. Educating ourselves on healthier behaviors is vital for our growth and progress. Because when we know better, we do better, right?  In this podcast we will explore behaviors we may be engaging in that are harming our relationships and preventing us from having the connections that we ultimately desire.  This is not meant to cause us shame or guilt, but rather to bring awareness to our actions so we can explore the feelings and thought behind them and ultimately clean them up. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #51 The Silent Treatment on Apple on Spotify #61 Charity is the Antidote on Apple on Spotify #75 Emotional Adulthood on Apple on Spotify #96 Understanding the Thought Model on Apple on Spotify #97 Why the Thought Model Matters on Apple on Spotify #189 Patterns of Behavior on Apple on Spotify #190 Protective Walls on Apple on Spotify #191 Why We Seek to Control Others on Apple on Spotify #196 How to Break the Blame/Defense Cycle on Apple on Spotify #211 Why We Do This Work on Apple on Spotify #223 It Really Is All About You on Apple on Spotify #240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior on Apple on Spotify #255 What is Gaslighting on Apple on Spotify #269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify #302 Gottman's Four Horsemen - Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy on Apple on Spotify #307 Curiosity, Not Criticism on Apple on Spotify #329 Five Strategies for a Rotten Marriage on Apple on Spotify #356 How Coaching Changed My Life with Stacey on Apple on Spotify #379 How Coaching Changed My Life with Lisa on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Ready to Take a Peek Behind the Velvet Curtain of Billionaire Dating? In this unmissable episode of The Love Machine, James Preece sits down with Amber Lee and Sandra Myers, the dynamic duo behind Select Date Society—a matchmaking service where memberships reach up to one million dollars! From jaw-dropping tales of jet setters to the surprising struggles of ultra-high-net-worth singles, this episode is full of revelations: Do billionaires really have it all when it comes to love? What's the real deal with “order-taker” dating services versus true matchmaking? And why might money make it harder (not easier!) to find The One? Amber and Sandra spill the secrets on headhunting for hearts, navigating those awkward power dynamics, and the hilarious (and very real!) questions they ask to ensure their clients are truly ready for love. Plus, you'll get a sneak peek into their own matchmaking success stories and why AI isn't about to take their job anytime soon. Curious how the super-rich date—and what we can all learn from their lessons? Tune in for fun, wisdom, and plenty of “wow, really?!” moments. Press play and see love at the highest level! About Amber and Sandra Amber Lee: Amber is a certified matchmaker, enneagram coach, Gottman 7 Principles leader, and strategic intervention coach with a bachelor's degree in business administration. She has been a professional matchmaker since 1998. Amber combines her experience, knowledge, and intuition to help her clients find their perfect match! Sandra Myers: Sandra is a certified Matchmaker with a degree in speech communications and organizational management. Sandra has been a professional matchmaker since 1996. Her ability to quickly read singles and instinctively ascertain the qualities needed to make a great connection, has been the key to her success. Clients love her no nonsense approach, expertise and passion for getting results. WEBSITE

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2761: Kara Shade challenges us to distinguish between needs and preferences in dating, revealing how clarity on this distinction can prevent heartbreak and guide us toward stronger, more intentional relationships. Backed by Gottman research and insights from relationship scientists, her piece encourages reflection, flexibility, and honesty, principles that remain just as relevant in long-term partnerships as they are in early dating. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/bending-without-breaking-identify-needs-preferences-dating/ Quotes to ponder: "When people show you who they are, believe them." "Being clear and honest about your needs and asking the tough questions are critical functions of that process." "It's less about what you're doing and more about how you're doing it together." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2761: Kara Shade challenges us to distinguish between needs and preferences in dating, revealing how clarity on this distinction can prevent heartbreak and guide us toward stronger, more intentional relationships. Backed by Gottman research and insights from relationship scientists, her piece encourages reflection, flexibility, and honesty, principles that remain just as relevant in long-term partnerships as they are in early dating. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/bending-without-breaking-identify-needs-preferences-dating/ Quotes to ponder: "When people show you who they are, believe them." "Being clear and honest about your needs and asking the tough questions are critical functions of that process." "It's less about what you're doing and more about how you're doing it together." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Traci welcomes Kelly McGinnis, certified Gottman educator, emotion coach, and CEO of Incredible Family—an organization committed to unleashing potential in working parents through developing strengths.With over 20 years of experience educating and empowering families, Kelly shares her own journey through the abrupt transition to motherhood with three daughters and how it ignited her passion for helping working parents thrive without choosing between career and family.Spoiler alert: The odds are stacked against working parents—but there's a science-backed way to flip the script.Kelly reveals why our brains are hardwired for negativity, the shocking happiness curve research that shows when life satisfaction hits rock bottom, and the one simple strategy organizations can implement that creates ripple effects across engagement, productivity, and retention.Plus, she shares a powerful story about how unlocking one mom's hidden strength not only kept a valuable employee from leaving but sparked an entirely new mentorship program.What We Cover:The "motherhood penalty" and why becoming a parent happens at the worst possible career momentWhy happiness levels plummet when we become working parents (and what causes that dip)How to break the negativity cycle by shifting to a strengths-based philosophyThe dual reality principle: Why two contradictory things can be true at onceWhy working parents make exceptional leaders (hint: parenting and leadership run parallel)The research-backed reason community is the #1 way to support working parentsHow to navigate the return-to-work transition and view parenthood as a series of transitionsThe "pebble in the pond" impact: How small shifts create massive organizational changeKey Quote: "Culture will emerge 'by design or default,' and organizations end up paying the price either way. You can invest intentionally upfront or deal with costly damage control later." – Kelly McGinnisFREE GIFT: Email Kelly at kelly@incrediblefamily.com and mention this podcast to receive a free code for the parent strengths assessment!Connect with Kelly:Email: kelly@incrediblefamily.com LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-mcginnis-ifi Website: incrediblefamily.com  Connect with Traci here: https://linktr.ee/HRTraci Disclaimer: Thoughts, opinions, and statements made on this podcast are not a reflection of the thoughts, opinions, and statements of the Company by whom Traci Chernoff is actively employed.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products or services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

In Part 3 of our Four Horsemen series, we dive into contempt, the most dangerous predictor of relationship breakdown. Kat breaks down what contempt sounds like, why it’s referred to as “relational poison,” and how it impacts both emotional and even physical health. Most importantly, we go over the antidote from Dr. Gottman: building a culture of admiration and respect. Plus, Amy’s Feeling of the Day is sad, but it’s giving her some helpful information about herself and her relationship. Sign up for the Feeling Things newsletter HERE! Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode originally aired on May 3, 2021 (Episode 244), and I'm bringing it back because so many of you told me how much it resonated. If you've ever struggled with a partner who shuts down or found yourself withdrawing, this one's worth revisiting. Whether you're navigating it now, reflecting on the past, or supporting someone you love, I hope it brings clarity and hope. Few things hurt more than reaching for your partner and being met with silence. In this episode, I'm unpacking why people shut down, how it damages connection, and what you can do to change the pattern. We'll look at the pursue-withdraw cycle, Gottman's “Four Horsemen,” and why emotional safety is the key to breaking through. You'll learn how to soften your approach, communicate vulnerably, and rebuild trust - while also considering when it's time to stop chasing and start filling your own cup.  As you listen, think about how you usually respond when your partner withdraws and what effect that has. Consider what might change if you focused more on creating safety than on pushing for answers. And ask yourself where you could begin creating fulfillment in your own life, instead of waiting for your partner to engage. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction & Why Partners Shut Down 06:00 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:04 The Impact of Withdrawal and Avoidance 13:01 Gottman's Four Horsemen & The Cost of Stonewalling 15:12 Why Withdrawal Happens & When It's About More Than You 20:40 Creating Emotional Safety and Communicating Vulnerably 28:04 Positive Reinforcement, Diplomacy & Patience 36:10 Filling Your Own Cup & Breaking the Chase Cycle If you'd like more support as you work on these skills, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training. It's designed to help you move out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, and it comes with a workbook to guide you through the process. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for quick insight into what's working well and where you might want to focus your growth. Let's stay connected beyond the podcast. I share more tools and encouragement every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I'd love to hear from you if this episode sparked a question, gave you an idea for a future topic, or made you think about your relationship in a new way - let's talk! And a special thank you to the sponsor of today's episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but I don't always have time to sit down with a book. The Headway app makes it easy to keep growing with bite-sized summaries of the best titles out there, and I use it almost every day. If you'd like to try it, you can save 25% at makeheadway.com/lhs with the promo code LHS. Let's keep learning and growing together.

This is the start of a 4 part series of Amy and Kat unpacking Dr. John Gottman’s famous ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse’ for relationships which has helped him be able to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. Part 1 is Criticism, the one that often shows up first and sets the tone for conflict. Amy has her own issues with getting defensive and even gets her boyfriend on the phone to confirm. Kat explains why criticism is different from a simple complaint, how it sneaks in through exaggeration, “should” statements, jokes, and tone, and why it can actually be a clumsy bid for connection. You’ll learn Gottman’s antidote, the Gentle Start-Up, with clear “I feel / I need” examples to help you express concerns without blame. Whether you’re married, dating, or navigating family and friendships, this episode will help you spot criticism early and swap it for communication that keeps relationships strong. Feeling of the Day: Angry (and Kat has every right to be!) Listen next week for: Defensiveness (Part 2 of How Relationships Begin to End: The Four Horseman) Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.