Podcasts about gottman

What if the thing that determines whether your marriage thrives or slowly fades isn't the big fights or the grand gestures, but the hundred tiny moments in between? In this episode, Christa unpacks one of Gottman's most important and least-talked-about discoveries: emotional bids. Every day your spouse is making small, quiet requests for connection, and you're either turning toward them, away from them, or against them without even realizing it. Learn what bids actually look like (they almost never announce themselves), why partners with the same love language can still miss each other constantly, and the one shift that changes the entire relational climate in your home. This episode is part of the Summer of Intimacy series. Show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠Get on the waitlist so you can get info about our Awakening Intimacy Intensive!⁠ ⁠⁠Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠⁠ Stay tuned for our Summer Intensives, Awakening Intimacy (track 1) and Awakening Adventure (track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the distance you feel in your marriage isn't about love at all, but about a bank account that has quietly run low? In episode three of the Summer of Intimacy series, Christa dives into one of Gottman's most powerful research findings, positive sentiment override, and the hidden force that erodes it faster than almost anything else: mental load. If you have been quicker to snap, quicker to assume the worst, or quicker to feel alone even when your spouse is right there, this episode will give you the language for what is actually happening and a way back toward each other. Plus, Christa shares how she and Wes put last week's love maps questions into practice on a real date this week, and how you can do the same. The Awakening Intimacy waitlist is now open, link in show notes. Show notes:⁠ Get on the waitlist so you can get info about our Awakening Intimacy Intensive! ⁠Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠ Stay tuned for our Summer Intensives, Awakening Intimacy (track 1) and Awakening Adventure (track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠here!⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa is a cognitive neuroscientist, best-selling author and host of one of the world's biggest psychology podcasts, Do You F*cking Mind? She is also one of the warmest, most down-to-earth people to ever sit across the mic from Keegan. We talked about the fluke that pulled her out of acting and into neuroscience (one guest lecture, a slide of a dissected brain, and a snap decision to change her major), and why she reckons passion never just shows up at your door fully formed. We got into monotasking, the dog walks with no headphones and the shower ideas that come when you finally let your mind be bored, and the line that stuck with Keegan: your thoughts get quieter and your creativity gets louder. Alexis broke down the Gottman research on "bids for connection" and the tennis-ball rule that quietly decides whether couples last, the "treat them like the love of your life for three months" experiment that ended in a marriage, why desperation is really just fear of loss, and how to actually move through a breakup, including the science of the tactical cry. Plus becoming a present dad, the nights being long but the years being short, and Alexis's three pillars of happiness: growth, purpose and connection. If you enjoyed this episode you will also enjoy: #171 The Psychology of Flow w/ Dr Megan Lee #184 Alexi Pappas: How to Become Fearless & Why Shortcuts Are Poison#170 Grace Grove: Doctor, Runner & Content Creator Being Yourself & Ditching Toxic Productivity Follow Alexis: Instagram: @alexisfernandezpreiksa Podcast Instagram: @doyoufkingmindSpotify: Do You F*cking Mind?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares a recent conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, in which he asked, “What's the secret to a good relationship?” He said, “You have to be flexible, and when you're adaptable, you do better.” Dr. Jim discusses positive adaptability. Based on research by Gottman, a healthy marriage has a ratio of 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction. How do I convince my wife that she needs to go to counseling in order to heal? Do I drag her to counseling, or does she need to go on her own? We've been married 12 years and have 3 children. I feel like she's avoiding counseling because of her childhood trauma. How do I handle giving my granddaughter money for her high school graduation? She never thanks me when I give her a gift, and I want her to understand it's important for her to thank me. I lost my father tragically in the 1990s because he was an alcoholic and had a heart attack in the home of his mistress. I took my kids out of school and stayed away from my support group because I was filled with shame. Can you help me understand why I had so much shame?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares a recent conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, in which he asked, “What's the secret to a good relationship?” He said, “You have to be flexible, and when you're adaptable, you do better.” Dr. Jim discusses positive adaptability. Based on research by Gottman, a healthy marriage has a ratio of 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction. How do I convince my wife that she needs to go to counseling in order to heal? Do I drag her to counseling, or does she need to go on her own? We've been married 12 years and have 3 children. I feel like she's avoiding counseling because of her childhood trauma. How do I handle giving my granddaughter money for her high school graduation? She never thanks me when I give her a gift, and I want her to understand it's important for her to thank me. I lost my father tragically in the 1990s because he was an alcoholic and had a heart attack in the home of his mistress. I took my kids out of school and stayed away from my support group because I was filled with shame. Can you help me understand why I had so much shame?

We are diving deep into the real reasons men are not doing their part in relationships, and exactly how you can help change that. Whether you want better sex, or for him to take on more of the mental load, or you want to know if you're even with the right person, or if the relationship is worth staying in, we're going to get into that today. I sit down with Zach Brittle, one of the only couples therapists in the entire world certified in both the Gottman method and Terry Real's Relational Life therapy. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Vanity Fair. Zach is so pragmatic and has really interesting advice on some of the trickiest issues out there. We also talk about what men secretly think and feel behind the scenes that they're not sharing, and we solve a ton of the real-life relationship struggles that you guys wrote in. 

Zach sits down with James and Molly Christensen, a married couple and fellow therapists based in Sacramento, who spent more than six years in couples therapy before it actually worked. They burned through eight therapists, logged over a hundred sessions, and came within reach of a marriage that had been quietly failing for years. The fact that they are now both practicing couples therapists themselves makes this conversation something rare: a behind-the-curtain look at what the struggle actually looks like from inside.The conversation gets honest fast. James names what he had to face: narcissism, manipulation, a sense of superiority, and an inability to take feedback without it threatening his identity. Molly describes her own side of the dynamic, a deeply people-pleasing, avoidant woman who had been raised to see relationships as transactional, and who spent years wondering whether her instincts about James were accurate or whether she was the one losing her mind. The turning point for both of them came in the form of an intensive with a therapist who was finally skilled enough to hold them both, call them both out in the moment, and care enough about James to be blunt with him without losing him. James started recording every session and listening back four times. By the fourth listen, he could hear himself clearly. That's when things shifted.What runs underneath this whole episode is a conviction that most couples are doing "recovery lounge" therapy, showing up, going through the motions, and feeling okay about it, without ever actually growing. James makes the case that conflict is not the problem in most marriages. Avoidance is. The goal, for both of them as clients and now as clinicians, is more conflict with less anger, which means developing the capacity to say what you actually think, to your spouse, with genuine care behind it, and to hold your ground when they push back. That's differentiation. That's the work. And if you get through it, Zach notes, the intimacy on the other side is real.Key TakeawaysFiring your therapist is sometimes the right call. If you're not making progress after significant time, the fit may be the problem, not the process.Being resistant to therapy is often not about therapy. Molly's refusal to engage was partly a refusal to let James dictate her path. Understanding the resistance tells you a lot about the relationship dynamic.Narcissism has four components worth knowing: fragility (inability to take criticism), a sense of superiority, indifference to others, and manipulation as a means of protecting a false self.The breakthrough often requires a therapist who combines genuine care with genuine bluntness. Truth without love is abusive. Love without truth is just convenient. Both together is what actually moves people.Conflict is not the enemy. Avoidance is. Couples who never fight aren't at peace, they're just not saying what they really think, and it costs them.Differentiation is the ability to stay grounded in yourself when your partner is not okay. It's not about getting them to back down. It's about whether you can hold your own truth without crumbling under pressure.The tools from research-based approaches like Gottman are only as useful as the people holding them. If underlying traits like narcissism or avoidance are untreated, the tools won't stick.When couples heal, families heal. James and Molly both note that their children have noticed the difference, and that the work they've done has changed the floor their kids are jumping from.Guest InfoJames Christensen Licensed couples therapist based in Sacramento, California. Former Air Force pilot with 22 years of military service before transitioning to therapy. Specializes in high-conflict couples using the Crucible approach. Brings his own history as a client, over six years in couples therapy, to his clinical work.Website: https://jamesmchristensen.com/Molly Christensen Associate therapist (currently under supervision), working at a nonprofit and accepting sliding scale and insurance clients. Followed James into the field after their shared experience in therapy. Brings her perspective as a former people-pleaser and avoidant partner to her work with couples.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

„Du triffst sie nach drei Wochen Funkstille auf einen Kaffee. Das Gespräch läuft. Du denkst: Das lief gut. Und dann — nichts. Sie meldet sich nicht mehr." Wenn du diesen Moment kennst — dieses Gefühl, alles richtig gemacht zu haben und trotzdem zu scheitern — dann ist diese Folge für dich. Wir erklären, warum die Versöhnung fast nie an den großen Gesten scheitert — sondern an den kleinen, unsichtbaren Mikro-Signalen. In dieser Episode von „Zurück ins Beziehungsglück" erklären Ralf Hofmann und Felix Heller, warum dein Nervensystem dich verrät — und warum echte Regulation der einzige Weg ist, die richtigen Signale zu senden.

Every conflict in your marriage gives you a choice: will you use it to deepen your connection and grow closer, or will you let it drive you further into resentment and disconnection? In this episode, we explore why genuine apologies are one of the most important repair tools in marriage. You'll learn the science behind why apologies work, what happens when we refuse them or give fake ones, the negative feedback loop that can trap couples in disconnection, and a practical four-step apology process you can start using immediately.We discuss John Gottman's research on repair, the difference between Masters and Disasters of relationships, Terry Real's losing strategies, and how small, sincere repairs can build a rich “culture of repair” in your marriage.Key Resources & Studies Mentioned:Apologies in Close Relationships: A Review of Theory and Research (2015) by Jarrett T. Lewis, Gilbert R. Parra, and Robert Cohen Journal of Family Theory & Review APA PsycNet LinkRefusing to Apologize Can Have Psychological Benefits (2013) by Tyler G. Okimoto and colleagues European Journal of Social PsychologyWhy Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner AmazonThe Gottman Institute – Research on repair attempts, culture of repair, Negative Sentiment Override, and emotional availability Gottman.comTerry Real's work on Relational Life Therapy and losing strategies (highly recommended: The New Rules of Marriage)Action Step:Try the four-step apology process the next time conflict arises. Notice how it feels and what it does for your connection.If this episode resonated with you, share it with your partner and leave a review. Let us know in the comments: What's one apology you're committed to making this week?Tags: Marriage Advice, Healthy Relationships, Apologies, Conflict Resolution, Gottman Method, Terry Real, Relationship Repair, Emotional IntelligenceGet in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/

Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live — what would you regret?Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.In this episode: Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research) The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required) The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcavemanResearch cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3007: Sanya Pelini explores why children learn emotional regulation more from what parents model than from what they say. Drawing on research from James Gross and other emotion regulation studies, she shares practical ways to manage stress, anxiety, and frustration so you can create a calmer, healthier emotional environment for your child. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-becoming-your-childs-emotion-coach-begins-by-managing-your-own-emotions-first/ Quotes to ponder: "Teaching kids how to manage emotions is not about suppressing those emotions. It's about teaching your children that emotions exist, but they can be managed." "We also know that kids learn more from watching us than they do from listening to us." "Ultimately, helping your kid manage his emotions requires you to learn to manage yours first." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there's one thing we've learned in our 25 years of marriage, parenting, and blended family life, it's this: communication problems aren't about bad intentions more often, they're about lacking the right tools. In this episode, we share the painful, unproductive patterns we got stuck in and the communication shifts that changed everything for us, helping us strengthen our marriage and build a healthier parenting partnership.We unpack a simple communication styles model, then share two practical frameworks that help couples handle sensitive issues with more wisdom and less reactivity.  We also share about the impact of emotional dysregulation (one of the biggest obstacles to healthy communication), and touch on four of the most common unhealthy patterns that keep couples stuck.This episode will offer practical tools to build trust and connection, reduce conflict, and communicate more like a united team.  Even when you each have different perspectives.  If we can do it, you can too!  Listen in and learn these pivotal tools so you can break free from unhealthy communication patterns and make a real difference in your relationship!You'll Discover:How different communication styles can quietly create friction, even when both of you mean well A simple framework for talking about sensitive issues, especially conversations about each other's kids How to use the FAQ approach to start hard conversations without blame or escalation Why emotional dysregulation can quickly derail communication How to recognize Gottman's Four Horsemen and replace them with healthier patterns that build connection and teamworkResources from this Episode:CLICK HERE to schedule your free call and learn more about our Relate Strong coaching focused on regulating painful emotions when it matters most.FREE DOWNLOAD: Communication Toolkit WorksheetEpisode 202.  How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]Episode 203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United TeamCrucial Conversations by K. Patterson, J. Grenny, R. McMilan, A. Switzler Leave a Review in Apple PodcastsIf you're feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they're fun for us to read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

“Don't make me pull this podcast over!” Do you have sibling rivalry in your family? Have you often wondered why? Today on the One Life Radio Podcast Dr. DeWone Bennett and Bernadette Fiaschetti share some of their past battles with siblings and tackle the complex, and sensitive subject of understanding the roots of sibling rivalry and how to fix it!Dr. Bennett has over eighteen years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of the book series “The Playbook Series.” He also lights up the stage as a keynote speaker and corporate mental health and wellness trainer.Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance. As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, Dr. Bennett continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. You can find and learn more about Dr. DeWone Bennett on drbennettcounseling.com.Here are more episodes with DeWone Bennett:“Things I'm Seeing In My Practice” ‘Work Anxiety' - Ep. 3111Can Valentine's Day Expectations Harm Your Relationship? ep. 3081The Best and Worst Ways to Break Up #2093The Psychology of Tattoos #2073Managing Stress #2049What are we Swiping For? #3070The Bird Test Theory, You Tube, Dr. John Gottman

Contempt in Marriage: The Point of No Return | Gottman's Four Horsemen Explained #relationshipgoals #marriage #gottman #podcast #contempt What is contempt in a relationship, and how does it destroy marriages? In this episode, we break down how contempt—identified by Dr. John Gottman as the most dangerous of the Four Horsemen—can become the true point of no return.Contempt in marriage goes beyond frustration or anger. It shows up as sarcasm, disrespect, eye-rolling, and emotional disconnect. Over time, these behaviors erode trust, kill intimacy, and create deep resentment that can be hard—if not impossible—to repair.We also explore the full framework of the Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and why contempt is considered the biggest predictor of divorce.In this episode, you'll learn:What contempt in a relationship really looks likeThe early signs of contempt in marriageWhy contempt is the most toxic communication patternHow emotional disconnection develops over timeCan a relationship recover from contempt?If you're dealing with marriage problems, communication breakdown, or emotional distance, this conversation offers real insight into what's happening—and what it means for your relationship.

This episode explores how trust is shaped through predictability, consistency, and emotional regulation, drawing from both equine behavior research and human relationship psychology.Sources and Further ReadingsEquine Behavior & PredictabilityHausberger, M., Roche, H., Henry, S., & Visser, E. K. (2008).A review of the human–horse relationship. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 109(1), 1–24.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2007.04.015 Sankey, C., Richard-Yris, M. A., Henry, S., Fureix, C., & Hausberger, M. (2010).Positive interactions lead to lasting positive memories in horses. Animal Behaviour, 79(4), 869–875.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.anbehav.2009.12.037 Stress, Learning, and ConsistencyMcGreevy, P. D., & McLean, A. N. (2007).Roles of learning theory in equitation. Journal of Veterinary Behavior, 2(4), 108–118. McLean, A. N. (2005).The positive aspects of correct negative reinforcement. Anthrozoös, 18(3), 245–254. Schmidt, A., et al. (2010).Cortisol release, heart rate, and heart rate variability in horses. Hormones and Behavior, 57(3), 319–325. Emotional Regulation & Relationship PsychologyGross, J. J. (1998).The emerging field of emotion regulation. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299. Gottman, J. M. (1999).The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.(Concept of repair attempts and relationship stability) Siegel, D. J. (2012).The Developing Mind.(Relational regulation and interpersonal neurobiology) Learning & Behavior InterpretationFureix, C., & Meagher, R. K. (2015).What can inactivity (in horses) tell us about welfare? Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 171, 8–20.

Send us Fan MailYou've thought about it. Maybe more than once. Maybe every time things get heavy and you tell yourself "I should really talk to someone." But then life picks back up and you don't. This episode is for you.Sami and Angela dig into the part nobody really talks about when it comes to therapy: how do you actually find a good one? Not just "any therapist," but one who works the way your brain works, who fits your situation, and who you can afford. They've both been in therapy. They've had mediocre experiences and transformative ones. And they have some very specific thoughts about what makes the difference, starting with what's on a therapist's website.In this episode, they get into:Why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy alone may leave you feeling like nothing really changedWhat Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method actually are, and why Angela thinks they're rock-solid scienceHow to use a therapist's practice as a resource even if you don't share them with a friend or partnerReal options for making therapy affordable, including income-qualified practices and university student therapistsThe tiny baby step they're inviting you to take this week (it does not involve calling anyone)Angela shares her own history with the U of A counseling center—one great experience, one mediocre one—and explains exactly what she looks for on a therapist's website before she'd ever recommend them. Sami makes the case that therapists, like coaches, operate from a place of collaboration, not competition. There are so many people who need support and so few ways to get it that a good therapist will help you find a fit even if that fit isn't them.If you've been sitting on the idea of therapy, this episode gives you permission to start small. You don't have to call. You don't have to book. You just have to look. That's the whole invitation. And sometimes that one tiny step is the one that actually changes everything.Press play. Seriously.Mentioned in this episode:Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): https://iceeft.comThe Gottman Method: https://gottman.comFind a Gottman-trained therapist: https://gottmanreferralnetwork.comFind an EFT therapist: https://directory.iceeft.comUniversity of Arkansas Counseling & Psychological Services: https://uacaps.uark.eduThe 3rd Annual Family Business Forum is May 19 in Springdale, AR. A day built for family-owned businesses who want to communicate better, lead stronger, and actually enjoy working together. Sessions on communication, AI, and high performance, plus a panel, awards, and networking. Early bird tickets are $75 through April 30, then the price goes up. Grab your spot before May 1 at familybusinessnow.com. Support the showSign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.

Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live what would you regret?Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.In this episode: Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research) The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required) The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcavemanResearch cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…

Do you find yourself in similar situations with different people? Are you wondering why you are having challenges navigating conflict with friends but are pretty successful with navigating conflict at work? Are your boundaries respected in your romantic relationships but fall apart with your family? And attachment styles... whew?! Let's unpack some things together. I am looking forward to exploring tips and resources that help us challenge existing relationship cycles, break patterns that are no longer serving us, and continue our healing journey. Joining us this session: ✊

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2979: Henry Sawatzky reflects on how the fear of rejection that once kept him pinned to a gym wall still shows up in marriage, especially when vulnerability is required. He reveals that true connection comes from repeatedly “crossing the floor” and offering your inner world, even when it feels risky. The reward is a deeper, more intimate bond that only emerges when you choose courage over self-protection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/keep-asking-your-partner-to-dance/ Quotes to ponder: "I've learned that in order to dance, you have to cross the gym floor and offer yourself, giving your partner the opportunity to accept or deny you." "Having the courage to show up is actually less risky than staying stuck." "Without that vulnerable offering, the dance can never actually happen. It can be scary as hell, but the dance is worth it." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If your morning routine for preschool looks less like a smooth routine and more like 21 rounds of "no", "stop", and "not like that" before 8 am, then things aren't working well for either of you. In this episode, we walk through one ordinary preschool morning minute by minute, from the cereal bowl to the car seat buckle. We also learn how to move from: "how do I get my child to cooperate" to: what is going on inside my child's body right now, and what are they trying to communicate through the flopping, dawdling, silliness, and defiance? Because when you understand that, you can find strategies that meet both of your needs. Questions This Episode Will Answer Why is my child so difficult in the morning? Preschoolers live almost entirely in the present moment and learn through movement and touch. When a morning is filled with a steady stream of corrections, their nervous system experiences it as "everything I do is wrong" - and the silliness, defiance, or shutdown you see is their body's response to that overload. Why is my child grumpy in the morning? It's often less about the time of day and more about the cumulative weight of limits. When children experience correction after correction with little room for exploration or connection, grumpiness and shutdown are common signals that their needs aren't being met. Why do kids dilly-dally and dawdle in the morning? What looks like dawdling is often a child following genuine curiosity, moving their body the way it wants to go, or trying to connect with you before the day pulls you apart. What is meant by "behavior is communication"? Preschoolers don't yet have the words to say "this is too much for me" or "I need to feel close to you right now". So they show you with their bodies. Finger-stirring cereal, flopping on the floor, asking to be carried - each of these is a message, if you know how to listen for it. When you understand that message you can help them meet their need - which also meets your needs for peace, ease, and order. Is misbehavior an unmet need? Often, yes. When you look beneath challenging behaviors in young children, you frequently find unmet needs for things like autonomy, movement, connection, or play. The behavior is a signal pointing you toward what your child actually needs. If you want to find out your child's biggest need (and easy, actionable strategies to meet it that make your life easier), take this free quiz. What are some reasons children misbehave? In early childhood, most challenging behavior traces back to a mismatch between a child's developmental capacity and what's being asked of them, combined with needs they're trying to meet in ways you're finding irritating. Preschoolers aren't misbehaving to make your life harder. They don't know how else to meet their needs. What You'll Learn in This Episode How to walk through a typical preschool morning routine and see it through your child's eyes, moment by momentWhat your child's most frustrating behaviors (flopping, dawdling, silliness, defiance) are often communicating about their needsWhy the total number of corrections across a morning matters as much as any single limit you setWhat your needs are in the morning routine, and why they are just as valid as your child's needsHow it's possible to meet your needs AND your child's needsHow to start moving toward fewer, clearer limits that your preschooler's nervous system can actually work withWhat the research on parent-child interaction patterns tells us about where repeated correction leads over timeHow parents who grew up in homes with heavy compliance expectations describe the long-term effects on themselves and their own parenting To help you put the ideas from this episode into practice, I've created a free worksheet: Your Difficult Morning Audit. You'll count your corrections, sort them, and start to see which limits are truly necessary - and which ones are habit. Get The Morning Audit Worksheet For Free If you thought "that's my kid" or "that's our mornings" - the Setting Loving (& Effective) Limits workshop is for you. Learn how to see how many limits you're actually setting, sort them into what's truly necessary and what can soften or disappear, and practice holding fewer, clearer limits in a way your child's nervous system can actually handle. You get short focused modules, three live group coaching calls where you can bring your real situations, and a community of parents working through the same things. The self-guided workshop is available year-round, but every April we run it live to give you even more support. Enrollment is open until April 26. Until April 16 at midnight Pacific, you can Pay What You Want:- any amount (even $1) gets you full access. You choose what you pay. After that, the price moves up to a fixed rate. If you're ready to move from correction-heavy mornings to fewer, truer limits your preschooler can actually live with, come join us in the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop. Enrollment is open until April 26 Jump to highlights: 01:27 Introduction to today's episode 05:48 The behavior isn't defiance - it's communication about their needs. 08:21 Young children live in the present moment and learn through movement and repetition rather than explanations. 10:45 You're not the villain for wanting things to go smoothly. Getting out the door, you need to meet your responsibility to co-workers while staying connected to your kid. 13:58 Your child needs connection, autonomy, movement, exploration, play, and fun. You need ease, harmony, collaboration, and responsibility to others. 16:45 The Gottman research on couples suggests we need about five positive interactions for every negative one to stay connected. 18:43 As a young child, Crystal learned to read the room constantly. As a teenager, she rebelled hard and ended up heavily involved in drugs and alcohol. 30:38 Wrapping up the discussion. 31:40 An open invitation to Setting Loving (&Effective) Limits workshop.

Have you heard of the Gottman Institute? The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a wildly popular relationship book and it has plenty of fantastic insights. However, some of the research and case studies could use some updating. In this episode, we take a close look at conflict while keeping in mind the weight of emotional labor and the impacts of patriarchy.Mentioned:The Seven Principls for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman PhDThe Autism Partner Handbook: How to Love an Autistic Person by Joe Biel, Dr. Faith G. Harper and Elly BlueThe Autism Relationships Handbook: How to Thrive in Friendships, Dating, and Love by Joe Biel and Dr. Faith G. HarperIn this episode:Relationship conflict patterns and Gottman's researchGendered communication and systemic issuesNeurodivergence and emotional regulation in relationshipsGet resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comOrder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233Themes: relationship dynamics, conflict resolution, Gottman Institute, gender theory, neurodivergence, communication, mental load, emotional labor, systemic gender issues, relationship advice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this raw, no-BS conversation, PFC Podcast host Dennis sits down with Justin Ball — licensed clinical social worker, former Green Beret, and one of the most insightful voices on military mental health — to unpack the often-ignored second war.Justin brings both battlefield experience and clinical expertise, while Dennis shares unfiltered war stories and hard-earned lessons. They draw on Homer's Odyssey, Achilles in Vietnam, modern family systems theory, emotion-focused therapy (EFT), anthropology of tribal hunters returning to the village, and brutally honest spouse perspectives (shoutout to Angela Ball for the coffee-table truth bombs).This isn't another “do these 5 things and you'll be fine” checklist. It's a real talk about why coming home is hard — for the service member, the spouse, the kids, and the whole damn family system — and how to navigate it with eyes wide open.Key Takeaways- The transition home starts **before** you leave the sandbox — unrealistic expectations (“If I can just make it home…”) set most people up for failure.- Anger is often the only “socially acceptable” emotion for warriors; underneath it usually lies fear, sadness, shame, or grief over missed time/missed life.- Military and home are **competing tribes** with conflicting values, boundaries, and shame triggers — yelling works at work, but it nukes the dinner table.- Spouses aren't “just holding it down” — they've built an entire functioning system. Coming home = deliberate, careful re-entry, not storming the castle.- Chronic leaving-and-returning (TDYs, schools, exercises) is as damaging as combat deployments — families don't care if it's “just training”; absence is absence.- Healthy reintegration means **we** not **me** — appreciation, lowered expectations, co-regulation in traffic rage moments, and honest communication about what's really happening emotionally.- There is no smooth road. The healthiest couples/families acknowledge it's bumpy, forgive missteps quickly, and keep talking.Whether you're an OGA guy with 15 TDYs, an infantryman coming off your first rotation, a spouse reading this description in tears, or a leader wondering why your guys are angry all the time — this episode is for you.Chapters - 00:26 – Justin returns; setting the stage for “coming home”- 03:16 – Evolution of post-deployment screening — what's better now vs. then- 09:59 – Acute vs. chronic homecoming — one big event vs. a lifestyle of constant comings & goings- 13:18 – The spouse perspective (Angela drops truth bombs over coffee)- 19:46 – Don't discount non-combat deployments or training risks — it's all cumulative family stress- 22:38 – Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) basics — emotions are older than words- 27:05 – Anthropology: hunters leaving the tribe, returning changed, and the danger of re-meeting- 36:55 – Shame culture in the military vs. home — competing tribal expectations create anger & failure loops- 42:25 – Anger as secondary emotion — fear, sadness, shame underneath- 45:03 – Mismatched expectations on both sides (warrior welcome vs. “don't touch my schedule”)- 50:31 – Operator syndrome vs. spouse high-stress reality — high stress is high stress- 54:29 – Ego check: coming home with an inflated “war hero” self vs. careful re-entry- 59:23 – The minivan road-rage story — tribal rules don't switch off overnight- 01:05:35 – Building a culture of appreciation (Gottman style) without knife-handing it- 01:09:43 – Listening without fixing — emotional acknowledgment firstFor more content, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.prolongedfieldcare.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Consider supporting us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/ProlongedFieldCareCollective⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lobocoffeeco.com/product-page/prolonged-field-care

Ce este infidelitatea dincolo de aspectul fizic și cum ne afectează încrederea și identitatea? Oana Calnegru, psihoterapeut relațional și formator la Pagina de Psihologie, ne ajută să înțelegem mecanismele infidelității și ale pierderii în cuplu.Oana Calnegru este psihoterapeut, supervizor și formator în psihoterapia familiei, cu o practică centrată pe terapia relațională. Coordonează de 10 ani proiecte psihoeducaționale la Pagina de Psihologie, inclusiv programul de formare Parenting Masterclass. Este mama a doi adolescenți și trăiește o relație de cuplu de peste 20 de ani.Acesta este episodul 8 dintr-un sezon dedicat relațiilor, realizat în parteneriat cu Pagina de Psihologie, despre:Cum definim infidelitatea — acorduri explicite vs. implicite și impactul secretelorDe ce apare infidelitatea — nevoi neîmplinite, crize identitare, obligația de a fi fericițiEsther Perel vs. John Gottman: mister sau prietenie în cuplu?Pierderea relațională și etapele doliului (Kübler-Ross și David Kessler)Pierderea ambiguă — relația continuă dar ceva esențial s-a schimbatCum decidem: reconstrucție sau despărțire?Cele trei tipologii de cupluri după infidelitate: suferinzii, constructorii, exploratoriiRepararea sănătoasă vs. capcana dezechilibrului de putereResurse menționate:Esther Perel — psihoterapeut, specialist în dinamica erotismului și infidelitățiiJohn Gottman — psiholog, cercetător în relațiile de cupluElizabeth Kübler-Ross — psihiatru, autoarea modelului celor cinci etape ale doliului (On Death and Dying, 1969)David Kessler — Găsirea sensului după pierderea unei persoane dragiDaniel Siegel — psihiatru, modelul integrării (între haos și rigiditate)Helen Fisher — antropolog, cercetătoare în tipologiile de cuplu post-infidelitateIntră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind Architect. Episod produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România. "(00:00) Intro""(02:52) Cine este Oana Calnegru și temele episodului""(04:41) Ce este Infidelitatea: acorduri explicite, implicite și percepții diferite""(06:36) Nevoia de exclusivitate și spectrul trădării""(10:49) Infidelitatea prin ochii celui trădat, dimensiuni culturale și de ce (nu) vreau să știu""(15:43) Când conversația despre granițe nu a avut loc niciodată""(19:51) De ce apare infidelitatea: nevoi nerostite și breșe relaționale""(21:50) Polarizare extremă în cuplu: autonomie vs. transparență totală""(24:26) Secretul ca motor al trădării""(27:45) Când acordurile explicite eșuează: erodarea încrederii""(29:00) Problemele perene în cuplu - John Gottman""(35:01) Esther Perel: de la breșe la altă relație, nimeni nu poate fi un sat întreg""(37:54) Infidelitatea: alegere conștientă, simptom relațional sau criză identitară?""(42:25) Mister sau prietenie în cuplu? Perel vs. Gottman""(46:08) Daniel Siegel: dansul sănătos între apropiere și distanțare""(48:26) Pierderea: ce moare în relație când apare infidelitatea""(51:41) Doliul și etapele sale""(56:25) Acceptarea, găsirea sensului și de ce doliul nu curge liniar""(01:00:46) Povestea lui Paul: doliu întârziat, doi ani mai târziu""(01:04:26) Semnificația atașamentului: de ce unele pierderi dor mai mult""(01:07:02) Cum știm că suntem pregătiți pentru o nouă relație""(01:10:09) Doliul ca loialitate: alegerea de a rămâne în durere""(01:14:40) Decizia după infidelitate: de ce să nu decidem în criză""(01:18:13) Dimensiunea pragmatică: copii, finanțe, personalitate""(01:22:38) Apariția copilului ca pierdere ambiguă în cuplu""(01:28:06) Ce este pierderea ambiguă și cum se resimte în relație""(01:33:32) Relațiile îmbătrânesc și ele: transformare, nu declin""(01:37:34) Cauze moderne: presiunea perfecțiunii și 'merit mai mult'""(01:42:52) Repararea sănătoasă: ce are de făcut fiecare partener""(01:45:54) Cele 3 tipologii post-infidelitate și eșecurile în reparare""(01:50:26) Unde o găsim pe Oana"

Send us Fan MailMost of us are walking around operating on three channels: mad, fine, or tired. And if that's the vocabulary we're working with, we're going to keep spinning out in the same patterns, the same arguments, the same spiral of "no one ever chooses me" without ever actually getting underneath what's driving it.Join Anna and Tim as they get into the real, unglamorous work of building emotional intelligence in yourself. Not in a partner, not in your kids. In you. Anna breaks down the actual skills, the science behind them, and why naming what you feel isn't soft work. It's strategic.This Episode Covers:Why most people default to "mad, fine, or tired" and what it costs them.The affect labeling research that shows precise emotional language literally reduces reactivity in the brain.How to separate the feeling from the story you're telling yourself about it.When the story is old pain wearing a current face.Why your partner is not your nervous system manager.The pause where emotional intelligence actually lives.What regulation looks like in practice, including the Gottman timeout strategy for couples.Until next time, here's to deeper connections and personal growth.Mad love!Book a Discovery Call for Coaching/Therapy: https://calendly.com/badassconfidencecoach/coachingThe podcast is now on YouTube! If you prefer to watch, head over to https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLw3CabcJueib20U_L3WeaR-lNG_B3zYquDon't forget to subscribe to the Badass Confidence Coach podcast on your favorite podcast platform!CONNECT WITH ANNA:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/askannamarcolin/TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/tag/askannamarcolinEmail hello@annamarcolin.comWebsite https://www.annamarcolin.com

In this 12-minute episode, I unpack the common relationship advice that “good couples never go to bed angry”and offer a more nuanced, research-informed perspective.We explore what actually happens in the brain and body during conflict, including emotional flooding, the role of the amygdala, and why the prefrontal cortex goes offline when we're overwhelmed. I also break down stonewalling; one of the Four Horsemen identified by John Gottman, and how it can often be a nervous system response rather than intentional disconnection.This episode walks you through how to take a healthy pause during conflict without damaging the relationship; including how to communicate that pause, use a code word when words feel hard to access, and the importance of following through to rebuild trust and emotional safety.I also share practical ways to self-regulate during conflict so you can return to the conversation from a more grounded, connected place.If you've ever felt pressure to resolve everything immediately, or struggled with shutting down or feeling shut out, this episode will help you navigate conflict in a way that protects both you and the relationship.♾ In a fast-paced world like the one we live in, time is one of our most important assets. For a few minutes every episode, I, Tannaz Hosseinpour, will be discussing topics that aim to enhance the quality of your life, by helping you feel empowered to take inspired action on your personal growth journey.Connect with me for daily insights:InstagramFacebookTikTokMore resources available on www.minutesongrowth.comThis podcast is for educational purposes only. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein.

the girls discuss a one star rating from an ex pp and take a test to see if their relationship has a strong foundation.book club: https://www.stayingupclub.com/send us your gossip stories or ask for advice!call the PP hotline 323-577-8857 or email us at stayinguppod@gmail.comJoin our Patreon: http://patreon.com/StayingUpJoin our Discord: https://discord.gg/am5t7kZTdRCam's shopmy https://shopmy.us/cammiescottTar's shopmy https://shopmy.us/tarynarnoldscottListen: https://stayingup.lnk.to/listenFollow: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stayinguppodFollow Cam: https://www.instagram.com/cammiescott/Follow Tar: https://www.instagram.com/thetarynarnold/Contact for business inquires only:stayinguppod@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

the girls discuss a one star rating from an ex pp and take a test to see if their relationship has a strong foundation.book club: https://www.stayingupclub.com/send us your gossip stories or ask for advice!call the PP hotline 323-577-8857 or email us at stayinguppod@gmail.comJoin our Patreon: http://patreon.com/StayingUpJoin our Discord: https://discord.gg/am5t7kZTdRCam's shopmy https://shopmy.us/cammiescottTar's shopmy https://shopmy.us/tarynarnoldscottListen: https://stayingup.lnk.to/listenFollow: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stayinguppodFollow Cam: https://www.instagram.com/cammiescott/Follow Tar: https://www.instagram.com/thetarynarnold/Contact for business inquires only:stayinguppod@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does this sound familiar? You can tell something's off with your partner. You ask "are you okay?" They say "I'm fine." You ask again. They snap. You spiral. They shut down completely.In this episode of Honey, Need a Chat, Amy and Blair get into one of the most common, and quietly damaging, patterns in relationships: the demand-withdrawal cycle. One partner keeps asking. The other keeps shutting down. And both walk away feeling unheard.Here's the thing: neither of you is wrong. It's the pattern that's the problem.They break down the science of why your partner literally cannot always explain what's going on (hint: it's got everything to do with your nervous system), unpack hypervigilance from childhood and how it rewires the way you read your partner's moods, and share the real scripts and tools they use in their own marriage to break the loop.What you'll learn:Why "I'm fine" is often not a lie, it's a nervous system responseWhat the demand-withdrawal pattern is and how to interrupt itThe one sentence that works better than "are you okay?" every timeWhy broad questions shut people down and narrow ones open them upHow hypervigilance from childhood shows up in your relationship todayWhy going quiet can feel like control, and what your partner actually needs insteadWhat Gottman's research says about flooding, fight-or-flight, and conflictWhether you're always the one asking or always the one shutting down, this episode is going to shift something for you.

The #1 thing missing in most marriages isn't sex or romance — it's friendship. Learn research-backed tools from The Gottman Institute, Brené Brown, Dr. Andrea Vitz, Vanessa Marin, and Julie Menanno to rebuild friendship and bring desire back — from everyday connection all the way to the bedroom.Description:Most couples don't drift apart because of big fights — they drift because friendship quietly disappears under kids, jobs, chores, and endless demands. In this deep-dive episode of Married and Connected, marriage coach Kameran Alareqi reveals why friendship is the hidden foundation of lasting connection, passion, and even great sex.Backed by The Gottman Institute (friendship predicts sexual satisfaction), Brené Brown (vulnerability builds trust), Dr. Andrea Vitz (emotional sobriety), Vanessa Marin (responsive desire starts with friendship), and Julie Menanno of The Secure Relationship (secure attachment tools), you'll get four brand-new, practical tools you can start tonight:Rebuild your Love Maps so you truly know each other againThe Vulnerability Share that creates secure emotional safetyThe Emotional Sobriety Pause that protects friendship in hard momentsFriendship to Flame — turning everyday connection into bedroom sparkRooted in real-life parenting and marriage, eight years coaching hundreds of couples (93% success rate), and faith-based wisdom, this episode gives immediate steps for “rebuild friendship in marriage,” “how to feel like best friends again with kids,” “emotional connection to physical intimacy,” and more.If you're tired of feeling like roommates and ready to feel like friends and lovers again, this is your turning point.Book your FREE 30-minute consultation today — no pressure, just honest guidance on 1:1 coaching, couples coaching, or my Skool community.In the Skool community, men learn healthy, strong masculinity at home and women learn soft, feminine strength as a Proverbs 31 wife.

Is your marriage stuck where everything else — kids' schedules, work, chores, the dog, bills — always takes precedence? You crawl into bed feeling more like exhausted teammates than passionate partners, wondering, “How do I bring the spark back when life is this busy?” or “Why does marriage feel like we're just roommates?”You're not alone — and the desire you crave isn't gone forever. In this deep-dive episode of Married and Connected, marriage coach Kameran reveals the real reason desire fades for 30- to 45-year-old parents: a weak friendship when everything else takes precedence.The Gottman Institute's 40+ years of research proves it — the quality of your friendship is the #1 predictor of sexual satisfaction and lasting desire. Strong friendship means turning toward each other's tiny “bids for connection”; weak friendship means those bids get ignored, resentment builds, and passion dies — leaving you feeling invisible and more like co-parents than lovers.But friendship can be rebuilt on purpose, even in the busiest season. And when you strengthen it, desire reignites — often faster than you expect.In this episode you'll learn:• Why a weak marriage friendship is the #1 hidden killer of desire when life is nonstop (backed by Gottman research)• Daily practices that rebuild emotional safety and turn roommates back into lovers• Vanessa Marin's sex-therapist secrets for responsive desire — including “chore play,” non-sexual touch, and kissing every night with zero pressure• Dr. Andrea Vitz's emotional sobriety tools to stay present instead of reactive• A simple 7-Day Desire Reset Challenge made for exhausted, over-scheduled parentsRooted in real-life parenting, eight years coaching hundreds of couples (93% success rate), and faith-based wisdom, this episode delivers immediate steps for “how to bring the spark back when everything else takes precedence,” “reignite intimacy with kids and busy life,” “stop feeling like roommates,” and more.Tired of surviving side-by-side? Ready to thrive together again?Book your FREE 30-minute consultation today — no pressure, just an honest conversation to see if 1:1 coaching, couples coaching, or my Skool community is the right next step.In the Skool community, men learn healthy, strong masculinity at home and women learn soft, feminine strength as a Proverbs 31 wife.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1982: Karen Bridbord explores how Dr. Gottman's Four Horsemen, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, can quietly erode trust and productivity in the workplace. Drawing on research that distinguishes thriving relationships from failing ones, she explains practical antidotes that foster accountability, appreciation, and emotional regulation. Learn how small shifts in communication can transform tension into collaboration and create a healthier, more resilient work culture. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/manage-conflict/ Quotes to ponder: "Quite simply, for a relationship to work, it has to be sustained in a rich climate where people are kind to each other." "The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility, even if for only part of the problem." "Using a softened start-up involves bringing up an issue in a direct, respectful, and courteous manner." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1982: Karen Bridbord explores how Dr. Gottman's Four Horsemen, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, can quietly erode trust and productivity in the workplace. Drawing on research that distinguishes thriving relationships from failing ones, she explains practical antidotes that foster accountability, appreciation, and emotional regulation. Learn how small shifts in communication can transform tension into collaboration and create a healthier, more resilient work culture. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/manage-conflict/ Quotes to ponder: "Quite simply, for a relationship to work, it has to be sustained in a rich climate where people are kind to each other." "The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility, even if for only part of the problem." "Using a softened start-up involves bringing up an issue in a direct, respectful, and courteous manner."

“Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Honesty can be compassionate. Honesty can be respectful.” -Dr. Cory NewmanEpisode OverviewIn this episode, host Dr. Jennifer Reid sits down with Dr. Cory Newman, PhD to explore how the core principles of cognitive behavioral therapy can be woven into our everyday communication with partners, friends, family, coworkers, and even ourselves. What begins as a conversation about therapy technique quickly becomes a practical guide to navigating disagreements, setting boundaries, and showing up more compassionately in all our relationships.Throughout the conversation, Dr. Reid draws connections to her book Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations (Penguin Life, 2026), which examines how guilt—particularly for women—shapes our communication patterns, our willingness to set boundaries, and our capacity for self-compassion.15 Key Takeaways (Dr. Newman had so many life-changing recommendations, we wanted to make sure you could read about them even if you didn't have time to listen!)1. The Three Pillars of CBTDr. Newman describes CBT as resting on three foundational principles: * A supportive therapeutic alliance* A deep understanding of the patient's lived experience (including cultural and sociological factors)* The development of practical coping skills. These skills promote agency and problem-solving rather than hopelessness and helplessness.CBT Connection: The cognitive behavioral model emphasizes that thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are interconnected. By shifting how we think and what we do, we can change how we feel (Beck, 1979).2. Communication Is Both Internal and ExternalWe tend to think of communication as what we say to others, but Dr. Newman emphasizes that internal dialogue matters just as much. CBT helps people talk to themselves more compassionately, constructively, and hopefully. That same skill then translates outward into better interpersonal communication.He also distinguishes between expressive communication (how we speak) and receptive communication (how we listen), both of which are essential to healthy relationships.Guilt Free Connection: In Guilt Free, Dr. Reid explores how harsh internal dialogue, especially the relentless voice of “I should be doing more,” fuels excessive guilt. Learning to communicate with yourself compassionately is the first step toward breaking free from unreasonable expectations.3. Start with IntentEvery meaningful conversation benefits from a clear, positive intent: to boost morale, to connect, to offer something useful, to communicate understanding. Dr. Newman suggests that even outside of therapy, we can adopt the mindset that our goal in any interaction is to leave the other person, and the relationship, in a better state than when we started.CBT Connection: Intentional communication is a behavioral intervention. By deliberately choosing our communicative goals before speaking, we interrupt automatic patterns that often lead to conflict (Beck, 1995).4. Validity + Utility: The Two-Part Test for What We SayDr. Newman introduces a powerful filter: before speaking, ask whether your comment has both validity (is it truthful?) and utility (is it useful?). Truth alone can be harsh. He pushes back on the idea of “brutal honesty.”Guilt Free Connection: The validity-utility framework directly parallels the guilt equation in Guilt Free, where guilt = our expectations (whether fair or not) minus our perceived reality. Often, guilt-driven communication passes the validity test but fails the utility test. For example, we may say things out of obligation that don't help ourselves or others.5. Intent vs. Impact: Naming the MismatchSometimes people don't mean to cause harm, but their words land that way. Dr. Newman recommends naming the gap directly: “I don't think you're trying to put me down, but the message you're sending sounds like a put-down.” This approach acknowledges the other person's good faith while still making room for your experience.CBT Connection: Distinguishing between intent and impact is central to cognitive restructuring. Cognitive distortions like mind-reading and personalization often cause us to assume malicious intent where there is none (Burns, 1980).6. Seek to Understand Before Problem-SolvingWhen someone is in distress, the instinct is often to jump straight to fixing. Dr. Newman advises leading with empathy instead: “If I were thinking the way you're describing, I'd be a nervous wreck too.” Validate first, then gently offer alternative perspectives. Problem-solving is more effective once the person feels heard.Guilt Free Connection: Dr. Reid describes a pattern she sees frequently, which is people, especially women, catastrophizing about situations and layering guilt on top. The compassionate validation Dr. Newman describes is exactly the antidote: honor the feeling, question the expectation.7. Turn Complaints into RequestsAlmost any complaint can be reframed as a request, and requests are far easier to hear. Instead of “You never reply to my voicemail messages,” try: “I'd really appreciate hearing from you, even briefly. It's hard for me when I don't hear from you.”CBT Connection: This reframing technique is a classic behavioral strategy in CBT. Converting complaints into constructive requests shifts the dynamic from blame to collaboration (Gottman & Silver, 1999).Guilt Free Connection: Dr. Reid explores how maladaptive guilt can be manipulative, such as when guilt-tripping replaces genuine requests, and relationships can suffer. Assertive communication (making requests without guilting) is key to breaking that cycle.8. Silence Fills Vacuums with AssumptionsWhen we avoid communication to spare someone's feelings—say, not RSVPing to avoid disappointing a friend—we leave a vacuum that the other person fills with their own assumptions, which are usually worse than reality. Dr. Newman advises speaking the reality, even when it's uncomfortable, because silence invites personalization and catastrophizing.Guilt Free Connection: In Guilt Free, Dr. Reid identifies avoidance as a common guilt-driven behavior: we don't say no because we don't want to disappoint, but the silence itself creates a bigger problem. Communicating honestly, even imperfectly, is almost always better than disappearing.9. Beware All-or-Nothing Thinking in CommunicationDr. Newman applies one of CBT's most foundational concepts, challenging black-and-white thinking, to our communication habits. You don't have to choose between long silences and a 90-minute heart-to-heart. A quick text saying “Thinking of you” is a powerful middle ground. He calls these “random acts of kindness through text,” which are small gestures that send a meta-message of care.CBT Connection: All-or-nothing thinking is one of the most common cognitive distortions identified in CBT. Recognizing and challenging it opens up a range of behavioral options we might not have considered (Beck, 1976).10. Match the Medium to the MessageText messaging is ideal for quick logistics and small kindnesses, but it strips away tone of voice and body language. Dr. Newman shares a vivid example of a patient whose text “I don't care” (meaning “I don't mind”) sparked a major argument with his girlfriend. For emotional or complicated conversations, choose a medium with more cues, such as phone, video, or in person.His rule of thumb: The more emotional and the more complicated the topic, the more cues are needed.11. The Gottman 20-Minute RuleDrawing on research by John and Julie Gottman, Dr. Newman describes how physiological arousal (elevated heart rate, fight-or-flight activation) makes productive conversation impossible. The Gottmans recommend taking a break during heated arguments and not resuming until at least 20 minutes after your heart rate returns to baseline.Dr. Newman applies this to everyday life: if you receive a message that makes you angry, wait until you've calmed down before responding. Otherwise, frustration will leak through even your most careful words.CBT Connection: Self-monitoring of physiological arousal is a core CBT skill. The Gottman research demonstrates that behavioral interventions (taking a break) must precede cognitive interventions (discussing the issue) when the body is in a threat state.12. Resolve to Resolve—Not to WinDr. Newman highlights one of the most destructive communication patterns: trying to win an argument rather than resolve it. He references the devastating scene in the film Marriage Story where two characters escalate insults in an attempt to out-hurt each other. When the goal shifts from understanding to victory, everyone loses.CBT Connection: The belief “I must convince the other person I'm right” is a cognitive distortion that fuels conflict. CBT teaches that making your point respectfully is already a success. Change in the other person may come later, or not at all, and that's okay (Newman, 2014).13. Never Go to Bed Angry? Not So Fast.Both Dr. Reid and Dr. Newman agree that while the spirit of this advice is sound (don't harbor resentment) the literal application can be harmful. Insisting on resolving a conflict when one partner is exhausted is destructive. The person who needs to sleep should be honored. The meta-message is: don't stonewall, but do respect each other's limits. Use a placeholder: “I want to talk this through, but right now I can't yet.”Guilt Free Connection: This scenario is a guilt trap in action. The pressure to resolve everything immediately often comes from guilt (“A good partner wouldn't go to bed angry”). Dr. Reid's framework encourages questioning whether that expectation is fair and giving yourself permission to rest.14. Setting Boundaries Without GuiltWhen repeated attempts at respectful communication are met with resistance, such as the same pressure, the same guilt trips, it's appropriate to set a firm boundary. Dr. Newman advises doing so with care: “I'd like to talk to you, but not under these conditions. When you can show some respect for what I've said, let me know.” You can walk away from that interaction knowing you handled it with integrity.Guilt Free Connection: Dr. Reid identifies “hyper-accountability,”the belief that we can and should control other people's emotional experience, as a major driver of excessive guilt, especially for women. Letting go of the need to make everyone feel okay is essential to healthy boundary-setting.15. Say the Positive Things Out LoudDr. Newman closes with a deceptively simple but powerful reminder: don't keep positive thoughts to yourself. If you have a compliment, give it. If you feel affection, express it. And one of his favorite tips: talk positively about people behind their back. It often gets back to them and can shift the entire tone of your relationships.CBT Connection: Behavioral activation, which involves increasing positive interactions and reinforcement, is a foundational CBT technique for improving mood and strengthening relationships (Lewinsohn, 1974).Thanks for reading A Mind of Her Own! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.About the GuestDr. Cory Newman, PhD is a professor of psychology in psychiatry and director of the Center for Cognitive Therapy at the University of Pennsylvania. He is also honorary faculty at the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, where he completed his postdoctoral training under the mentorship of Dr. Aaron Beck, a founding father of CBT. A founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, Dr. Newman has presented approximately 300 CBT workshops and seminars internationally and published over 100 articles and chapters. He is the author or co-author of six books. Fun connection: Dr. Newman is a highly accomplished pianist and has accompanied Dr. Reid for several of her vocal performances.References & Further ReadingCBT Foundations1. Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. International Universities Press.2. Beck, J. S. (1995). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond. Guilford Press.3. Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. William Morrow.Communication & Relationships4. Gottman, J. M. & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown.From the Guest6. Newman, C. F. (2014). Core Competencies in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Routledge.From the Host7. Reid, J. (2026). Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Penguin Life.(*Notes created from transcript with assistance from Claude AI and edited by author for clarity and accuracy.)A Mind of Her OwnHosted by Dr. Jennifer Reid, MDBoard-certified psychiatrist, author, and award-winning medical educatorjenniferreidmd.com | A Mind of Her Own on Substack@jenreidmd on Instagram and LinkedIn Also check out Dr. Reid's regular contributions to Psychology Today: Think Like a ShrinkSeeking a mental health provider? Try Psychology TodayNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Dial 988 for mental health crisis supportSAMHSA's National Helpline - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)-a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.Disclaimer:The views expressed on this podcast reflect those of the host and guests, and are not associated with any organization or academic site. Also, AI may have been used to create the transcript and notes, based only on the specific discussion of the host and guest and reviewed for accuracy.The information and other content provided on this podcast or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this website is for general information purposes only.If you or any other person has a medical concern, you should consult with your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something that have read on this website, blog or in any linked materials. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services (911) immediately. You can also access the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or call 988 for mental health emergencies. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amindofherown.substack.com

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2924: Dr. Kathy McMahon explores why partners emotionally shut down during conflict and how this “flooding” response differs from manipulation or abuse. Drawing on Gottman's research, she explains the physiological overwhelm behind the behavior and offers practical tools, like structured time-outs and calming techniques, to help couples reconnect and de-escalate arguments. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.couplestherapyinc.com/stonewalling/ Quotes to ponder: "Evidence reveals that stonewalling happens when a partner feels overwhelmed, shuts down emotionally, and breaks eye contact." "When stonewalling is a manipulative or controlling strategy, seek help right away. When it is deliberate, it is a form of emotional abuse." "In other cases, stonewalling is a trauma response. Individuals who have suffered trauma in the past may respond by using stonewalling as a means of self-protection." Episode references: The Four Horsemen - Stonewalling: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-stonewalling/ Jacobsonian Relaxation Technique (Progressive Muscle Relaxation): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2924: Dr. Kathy McMahon explores why partners emotionally shut down during conflict and how this "flooding" response differs from manipulation or abuse. Drawing on Gottman's research, she explains the physiological overwhelm behind the behavior and offers practical tools, like structured time-outs and calming techniques, to help couples reconnect and de-escalate arguments. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.couplestherapyinc.com/stonewalling/ Quotes to ponder: "Evidence reveals that stonewalling happens when a partner feels overwhelmed, shuts down emotionally, and breaks eye contact." "When stonewalling is a manipulative or controlling strategy, seek help right away. When it is deliberate, it is a form of emotional abuse." "In other cases, stonewalling is a trauma response. Individuals who have suffered trauma in the past may respond by using stonewalling as a means of self-protection." Episode references: The Four Horsemen - Stonewalling: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-stonewalling/ Jacobsonian Relaxation Technique (Progressive Muscle Relaxation): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation

In this episode of Get Psyched, Lindsey connects her (slightly mischievous) love of embarrassment to one of the most influential relationship research programs of all time: the Love Lab led by John Gottman.Inside the famed Love Lab at the University of Washington, couples were observed to uncover what actually predicts long-term relationship success. The biggest predictor? Not grand gestures. Not passion. Not compatibility quizzes.It was how partners responded to bids for connection.Today the gals explore:

No one tells you what becoming a parent actually feels like. Not the baby registry, not the birth plan—but the identity shift, the relationship changes, the loneliness, grief, and joy that cracks you open. In this solo, Lindsey shares what she genuinely wishes someone had told her before becoming a mom. From nervous system overload + sleep deprivation to partnership strain + matrescence (the emotional + psychological transformation of motherhood), Lindsey pulls back the curtain on early parenthood. This isn't about fear—it's about truth. The discomfort, the rewiring, the ego death, and the profound expansion that comes with raising a child. If you're a new mom, thinking about becoming a parent, or deep in your own identity shift in your 30s, this episode will make you feel seen. It's honest, grounding, and deeply reassuring: you're not doing it wrong—it's just that big of a transformation. We also talk about: Why motherhood expands your capacity for discomfort The nervous system rewiring that happens after having a baby Intrusive thoughts + heightened sensitivity in early motherhood Relationship changes after a baby (+ the Gottman research on partnership dips) Why you don't “go back” to your old self—and why that's freeing Matrescence + identity loss in your 30s Grieving your old life while loving your child How motherhood ruthlessly edits your priorities Perfectionism in parenting + attachment research truths Emotional availability vs. “doing it right” Loneliness in early motherhood + building your village Reparenting yourself while raising your child Resources: Instagram: @lindseysimcik Order our book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide To A Life You Love For The Next Decade and Beyond, here: https://bit.ly/Almost30Book.  Sponsors: Our Place | Visit https://www.fromourplace.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 for 10% off sitewide.  Fatty15 | Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to https://www.fatty15.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 at checkout.  Ka'Chava | Go to https://www.kachava.com and use code ALMOST30 for 15% off your next order. Ritual | Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. My listeners get 25% off your first month at https://www.Ritual.com/ALMOST30.  Hero Bread | Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://hero.co and use code ALMOST30 at checkout. Gaia | On https://www.gaia.com, you get access to over 8,000 original, ad-free series, documentaries, and classes — along with a global community of more than 800,000 people exploring deeper truth and human potential. Revolve | Shop at https://www.REVOLVE.com/ALMOST30 and use code ALMOST30 for 15% off your first order. #REVOLVEpartner BetterHelp | This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/almost30 and get on your way to being your best self with 10% off your first month. Chime | It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to https://www.Chime.com/ALMOST30. Paleovalley | Head to https://www.paleovalley.com/almost30 for 15% off your order! To advertise on this podcast please email: partnerships@almost30.com. Learn More: https://almost30.com/about https://almost30.com/morningmicrodose https://almost30.com/book Join our community: https://facebook.com/Almost30podcast/groups https://instagram.com/almost30podcast https://tiktok.com/@almost30podcast https://youtube.com/Almost30Podcast Podcast disclaimer can be found by visiting: almost30.com/disclaimer.  Almost 30 is edited by Garett Symes and Isabella Vaccaro. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conflictele în relații pot fi constructive sau distructive, diferența vine din cum le abordăm. Gáspár György ne explică de ce certurile sunt inevitabile și cum le putem transforma în oportunități de creștere.Gáspár György este psiholog clinician, psihoterapeut de cuplu și autorul a șase cărți, între care și Când Conflictul Are Sens. Co-fondator al comunității Pagina de Psihologie și al Academiei de Terapie Imago din România, Gáspár folosește metoda Gottman în munca sa și este una dintre cele mai cunoscute voci care promovează sănătatea relațională în spațiul public din România.Acesta este al doilea episod dintr-un sezon dedicat relațiilor, realizat împreună cu Pagina de Psihologie. Astăzi explorăm:Miturile despre conflicte care ne sabotează relațiileGândirea liniară vs. circulară în conversații dificileCei 6 călăreți ai apocalipsei relaționale (critică, defensivitate, dispreț, împietrire, control, beligeranță)Antidoturile pentru fiecare comportament distructivCum să rămâi curios când emoțiile se intensificăDualitatea particulă-undă aplicată în relațiiResurse menționate în conversație:Cartea "Când conflictul are sens" de Gáspár György Cartea "Rising Strong" de Brené BrownCercetările lui John și Julie Gottman despre Știința RelațiilorInstrumente: Carduri de replici pentru conflicte în cuplu - Instrumente: Carduri de replici pentru conflicte părinte-adolescentIntră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind Architect Acest episod este produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România. "(00:00) Introducere""(04:17) Mituri despre conflicte""(07:14) John Gottman și Terapia Imago despre conflicte în relații""(08:51) Bagajul emoțional din copilărie și conflictele""(10:06) Conflictul ca mijloc spre o formă mai bună de a fi împreună""(13:33) Perspectivele diferite și sistemul nervos""(15:44) Conflictele ca semn de vitalitate și potențial""(17:04) Emoțiile neexprimate: semn că avem conversații de purtat""(18:51) Lisa Feldman Barrett și bugetul de energie în conversații dificile""(21:16) Cum să rămâi curios când ți se apasă butoane emoționale""(23:34) Permisiunea de a greși și importanța reparării pagubelor""(26:29) Mitul despre a nu te culca supărat""(29:14) După conflict, între reconectare și nevoia de spațiu""(31:06) Strategii similare, nevoi diferite în conflict""(34:34) Exemplu Gáspár: Escaladare și reparare cu un coleg""(38:14) Strategii diferite de reconciliere: vorbim sau îngropăm?""(41:42) Dualitatea particulă-undă aplicată în relații""(44:16) Starea de undă cu energie negativă vs. colapsul în particulă""(47:44) Decizii luate din stare activată: mai bine singur""(54:35) Gândirea liniară vs. circulară în conflicte""(57:10) Subiectivitatea minții: amândoi putem avea dreptate""(01:00:00) Co-creația: cum contribuim fiecare la escaladare""(01:03:52) Exemplu: Cum nu-i dăm partenerului ocazia să contribuie""(01:06:53) Etichetele în relații și cum ne limitează ele""(01:12:07) Ce facem când celălalt minimizează și evită""(01:19:08) Echilibrul între grijă și hiper-responsabilizare""(01:23:37) Cleaning the air: Tensiunea nevorbită erodează relația""(01:29:33) Umorul în conflicte: când ajută și când rănește""(01:34:13) Cei 6 călăreți ai apocalipsei relaționale (Gottman)""(01:35:51) Critica - atacul la persoană""(01:37:41) Disprețul și Defensivitatea""(01:39:51) Împietrirea, Controlul și Beligeranța""(01:43:23) Antidot Critică: exprimarea emoțiilor și nevoilor""(01:46:29) Antidot Defensivitate: asumarea responsabilității""(01:49:32) Asumare autentică vs. Îmi pare rău""(01:54:38) Antidot Dispreț: aprecierea și admirația""(01:56:38) Antidot Împietrire: autoreglare emoțională""(01:58:41) Antidot Control: flexibilitate și pornire lină""(02:03:46) Antidot Beligeranță: ramura de măslin""(02:04:31) Poziționare în conflict copil - celălalt părinte""(02:08:25) Carduri cu replici pentru conflicte"

GET FREE HANDOUT to accompany this episode HERE:Resentment from unequal decisions? One person dominating finances, parenting, or chores? In this episode, Sharla and Robert explain how to create a "system of governance" in your marriage—drawing from John Gottman's "accepting influence" and Stan Tatkin's shared leadership—to end power struggles, restore parity, and protect your “couple bubble.”Hear real couple stories, our own early parenting struggles, a list of 10 key principles to start your governance system, and a deep dive on "guardrails"—in-moment reminders that interrupt harmful patterns before they escalate.This is how you lead each other without chaos or hurt.Key TakeawaysGovernance isn't control—it's a shared constitution for decisions, influence, and implementing principles.Accepting influence (Gottman) means blending strengths—couples who do this are far more likely to thrive.Build principles like "We shield each other from harm" that you both defend selfishly.Guardrails: In-moment reminders (e.g., "Remember our agreement?") interrupt harmful autopilot behaviors before fights escalate.No system = power struggles and resentment; good governance + guardrails = allies and a strong bubble.ResourcesThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – Gold standard for influence and conflict.Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin – Deep dive on shared leadership.In Each Other's Care by Stan Tatkin – Modern habits for governance.Up Next WeekKeeping each other safe through partner soothingIf this helped you spot a power imbalance, follow, comment, and share! Put each other first this week. ❤️Get in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/

In Honor of Valentine's Day, we're revisiting what we think is our most comprehensive episode on relationships to date! Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down: - The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD - Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage - Ways to better support your partner's trauma - Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships - Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal - How to argue with your partner in a healthy way - Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment - Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity? - Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily - Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING - Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication - Effects of porn addiction on the other partner - Key communication factors in healthy partnerships - The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages - The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Honor of Valentine's Day, we're revisiting what we think is our most comprehensive episode on relationships to date! Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down: - The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD - Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage - Ways to better support your partner's trauma - Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships - Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal - How to argue with your partner in a healthy way - Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment - Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity? - Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily - Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING - Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication - Effects of porn addiction on the other partner - Key communication factors in healthy partnerships - The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages - The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you passive-aggressive when you argue? Do you slam cabinet doors instead of communicating? Is arguing a positive thing? Do you know what the Gottman Theory bird test is? Today on the One Life Radio Podcast Dr. DeWone Bennett and Bernadette Fiaschetti discuss six ways to navigate an argument better, and so much more! Dr. Bennett has over eighteen years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of the book series “The Playbook Series.” He also lights up the stage as a keynote speaker and corporate mental health and wellness trainer.Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance. As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, Dr. Bennett continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. You can find and learn more about Dr. DeWone Bennett on dbennettcounseling.com.Here are more episodes with DeWone Bennett:“Things I'm Seeing In My Practice” ‘Work Anxiety' - Ep. 3111Can Valentine's Day Expectations Harm Your Relationship? ep. 3081The Best and Worst Ways to Break Up #2093The Psychology of Tattoos #2073Managing Stress #2049What are we Swiping For? #3070The Bird Test Theory, You Tube, Dr. John Gottman

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2897: Brooke Blanton explores the quiet power of touch in moments of distress, sharing how something as simple as holding hands with a loved one can offer profound emotional relief. Backed by research on interpersonal synchronization, her story reveals how physical connection can literally align brainwaves, reduce pain, and deepen emotional bonds. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/holding-hands-synchronization/ Quotes to ponder: "You might be surprised at the kinds of emotional connection you can experience together through a small gesture of physical connection." "When the couple was sitting next to each other holding hands, the brainwave sync was the strongest." "We spend years building connections with the people in our lives, romantic partners, close family members, best friends, so consider the importance of physical touch."

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2897: Brooke Blanton explores the quiet power of touch in moments of distress, sharing how something as simple as holding hands with a loved one can offer profound emotional relief. Backed by research on interpersonal synchronization, her story reveals how physical connection can literally align brainwaves, reduce pain, and deepen emotional bonds. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/holding-hands-synchronization/ Quotes to ponder: "You might be surprised at the kinds of emotional connection you can experience together through a small gesture of physical connection." "When the couple was sitting next to each other holding hands, the brainwave sync was the strongest." "We spend years building connections with the people in our lives, romantic partners, close family members, best friends, so consider the importance of physical touch." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With Valentine's Day on the horizon, I've been thinking a lot about love…not the chemistry sparking lust….but real love. What does it feel like? What makes it last? And how do you maintain your intimate relationships in a modern world.    In my wedding speech, I said that love isn't a grand gesture but the actions you take daily.    I don't think I'm naturally good in relationships – I put a lot thought and intention into how I communicate and treat my husband and today's guest was so helpful on my journey to being ready to meet my person.    So I wanted to bring you back to this conversation from 2021 with Licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical fellow of the america association of marriage & family therapy AND founder of A Better Life Therapy - Elizabeth Earnshaw.    In addition to making couples therapy more accessible, she is the author of "I Want This To Work". Elizabeth is also the host of Hash it Out on Good Risings where she offers advice to everyday relational conundrums.   We first chatted back in 2021 before her debut book, I WANT THIS TO WORK, was released. The book is an inclusive guide to navigating the most challenging relationship issues. Couples will learn to work with three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. Written for both married and unmarried couples, this book brings an accessible guide to healing relationships and creating enduring intimacy. For more information, please visit www.elizabethearnshaw.com.   We talk about:  Her new book "I want this to work" and some of the challenges we face with modern relationships and dating  The importance of self-accountability and relational awareness  The concept of opposite action and how it can help you during times of anxiety in your relationship The things we should be looking for in a partner  How modeling from the relationships we witness plays a role in how we show up and experience our own relationships AND how to break that pattern The Gottman's 4 Horsemen - the 4 communication habits that can increase the likelihood of divorce How to express needs and boundaries, gridlock and willingness vs. willfulness, hot conversations vs. warm conversations  And SO much more!!    LINKS:  Follow Liz on Instagram Liz's Website  Get Liz's Book

Caught in "not enough" or "too much" loops as an autistic or AuDHD adult—stuck in old patterns, feeling like your needs are a burden, or burning out trying to keep everyone else okay? This episode of Adulting With Autism dives into self-love for autistic adults with Christina Ketchen, a certified life and relationship coach trained in HeartMath®, Gottman, and the Hoffman Process, who brings both neuroscience and hard-won personal wisdom to healing.​ Christina talks about trauma loops—those familiar patterns and relationship dynamics that feel terrible but somehow also "normal"—and how they can quietly drain self-worth over time. She shares compassionate tools like heart-focused breathing to support the nervous system, "kind no's" that protect your energy ("This doesn't work for me—thank you"), and gentle self-talk that shifts you from "I am broken" to "I am human and learning."​ You will hear how patterns often started as protection, how faith/meaning can reframe pain without dismissing it, and why embracing your "messy" humanity is part of building real self-love, not a sign of failure. Christina also offers guidance for neurodivergent adults who feel guilty setting boundaries or fear that saying no will make people leave.​ This episode is especially helpful if you: Keep ending up in the same painful situations or relationships Struggle to hold boundaries without intense shame, fear, or backlash inside your own mind Are learning what self-love looks like for you as an autistic or AuDHD adult, beyond clichés and quick fixes If this conversation supports you, follow/subscribe to Adulting With Autism on YouTube Apple, or Spotify and leave a 5-star review so more neurodivergent adults can find it. Merch for your self-love journey: Get 20% off journals, tees, and "Self-Love Alchemist"–style merch with code PODCAST26 at the Adulting With Autism Fourthwall shop ( Linktree). Your support helps keep this podcast free for the community. Resources mentioned: Coaching and masterclasses with Christina at christinaketchen.com Her podcast The Self Love Shift

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole McNichols, psychologist, professor at the University of Washington, and author of You Could Be Having Better Sex, for one of the most honest, research-backed conversations we've ever had about sex, intimacy, and connection in long-term marriage.   This isn't about sex positions, tricks, or "trying harder." It's about why good marriages lose momentum over time, how pressure and expectations quietly kill desire, and why emotional connection is often the real foreplay. Dr. Nicole breaks down why scheduling sex can backfire, how shame and guilt around sex are learned early, and how curiosity—not performance—creates the kind of intimacy couples actually crave. I also share personal stories from my own marriage about connection, timing, and why mediocre sex just to "check the box" no longer works. If you want a healthier, more connected sex life, this episode gives you a roadmap grounded in science and real-life experience.     Timeline Summary [0:00] Why this episode isn't about sex positions or tricks [1:26] Introducing Dr. Nicole McNichols and her background [2:09] Why scheduling sex can quietly backfire [2:36] How pressure and expectation kill intimacy [2:58] Emotional connection as the real foreplay [3:36] Why intimacy dates matter more than sex calendars [5:18] How Dr. Nicole became a "sex professor" by accident [6:10] Loneliness, disconnection, and the role of sexual health [7:08] Shame, stigma, and misinformation around sex—especially for women [9:14] Why healthy sex improves forgiveness, health, and longevity [10:25] The failure of shame-based sex education [12:10] Countries with sex-positive education and better outcomes [13:18] Identifying the sources of shame we carry into marriage [15:09] Why sex shouldn't be the first thing sacrificed in busy seasons [16:07] Why conversations about sex should happen with clothes on [17:00] Using curiosity instead of pressure to improve intimacy [18:11] Announcement: Dad Edge Alliance February focus on intimacy and attraction [20:03] Curiosity vs. agenda in hard conversations [21:17] Why scheduling sex alone doesn't work [22:09] Creating the right context and mood for intimacy [23:24] Sexual effort that creates pressure instead of desire [24:55] Emotional lead-up and responsive desire [26:01] Initiation–rejection cycles and resentment [27:23] "Intimacy dates" and reconnecting outside the bedroom [29:11] Larry shares a personal story about connection over convenience [31:26] Choosing quality connection over mediocre sex [33:17] Maintenance sex vs. meaningful sexual connection [35:04] Balancing connection and realistic expectations [37:22] Long-term rejection cycles and rebuilding intimacy [39:00] Hormones, menopause, and why libido changes aren't personal [41:29] Division of labor, resentment, and loss of identity [43:48] Gottman research and why distance doesn't heal intimacy [45:43] Making your partner feel seen and heard [47:23] Listening vs. fixing in emotional conversations [49:13] Resources for better conversations with your wife and kids [49:31] Dr. Nicole's book and New York Times features [50:44] Where to find Dr. Nicole and her work [53:08] Why improving your sex life is a powerful way to start 2026     Five Key Takeaways Pressure and expectation kill desire, while curiosity and emotional safety create attraction.  Emotional connection is often the real foreplay, especially in long-term marriages.  Scheduling sex without context can backfire if couples don't create space to reconnect first.  Sexual shame is learned, and identifying its sources is the first step toward healthier intimacy.  Better sex isn't about frequency—it's about quality, safety, and connection.        Links & Resources 25 Intimate Conversation Starters: https://thedadedge.com/25questions Conversation Cards for Kids (Ages 5–Teen): https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions Dr. Nicole McNichols – Faculty Spotlight (University of Washington): https://psych.uw.edu/newsletter/summer-2020/faculty/faculty-spotlight-on-nicole-mcnichols New York Times – Modern Love Podcast Feature: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/07/podcasts/modern-love-better-sex-tips.html Book — You Could Be Having Better Sex Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1430     Closing Remark If this episode gave you language, clarity, or hope around intimacy in your marriage, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. Strong marriages don't drift into great sex—they build it intentionally, with curiosity, connection, and courage.

In this Q&A episode, I'm joined once again by Uncle Joe for a deep, honest conversation around one of the most painful places a man can find himself—feeling unwanted, disconnected, and hopeless in his marriage. We respond to a question from a husband who hasn't felt physical or emotional connection from his wife in over two years, and we unpack what really breaks down in marriages long before intimacy disappears.   This conversation goes far beyond surface-level advice. We talk about why most men were never trained for marriage, how resentment quietly builds, why treating marriage like a contract destroys connection, and how changing your internal narrative can shift everything. We also bring in perspectives from men inside the Dad Edge Alliance to show how humility, coachability, and intentional skill-building can restore trust, safety, and leadership at home. If your marriage feels distant or stuck, this episode offers clarity, hope, and a path forward.     Timeline Summary [0:00] Welcoming listeners to the third Q&A episode of January 2026 [1:19] Uncle Joe returns and the power of community-driven wisdom [2:13] Introducing a listener's marriage question about rejection and hopelessness [2:55] Why only 12% of married couples report feeling deeply connected [3:33] Asking the most important question: what have you actually learned about marriage? [4:26] Joe reflects on personal failure, divorce, and hard-earned lessons [5:14] Why hope exists if attraction once existed [5:35] How complacency and busyness quietly push marriage to the back burner [6:02] Marriage compared to learning an instrument—you can't wing it [7:21] Resentment, skill gaps, and whether marriages can truly be restored [8:05] Marriage as a covenant, not a contract [8:55] How destructive inner narratives shape behavior and connection [9:43] Transactional expectations and why they kill intimacy [10:41] Why "nice guy" energy erodes respect and attraction [11:30] Listening to understand instead of listening to defend [12:12] Mutual submission, humility, and shared leadership in marriage [13:15] Alliance member insight on asking for feedback from your wife [14:16] Faith, unity, and intentionally doing life together [15:49] Receiving feedback without ego or defensiveness [17:14] Emotional bank accounts and the power of daily deposits [18:50] Gottman's 5:1 and 10:1 ratios for healthy marriages [19:40] Giving your wife permission to coach you [20:45] Why conflict isn't the enemy—avoidance is [22:00] Reframing the role of a wife as a strengthener, not a subordinate [23:17] "It's not me vs. you, it's us vs. the problem" [23:43] Larry shares a personal season of anger and choosing humility [25:16] How couples can build something better than what they had before [25:51] Episode wrap-up and where to find resources     Five Key Takeaways Most men were never taught how to lead a marriage, and guessing your way through it creates disconnection.  Marriage breaks down through narratives and resentment long before intimacy disappears.  Treating marriage like a covenant—not a contract—changes everything.  Emotional deposits made consistently rebuild trust and safety over time.  When couples unite against the problem instead of each other, restoration becomes possible.      Links & Resources Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/alliance The Legendary Marriage Book: https://thedadedge.com/legendarybook Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1429     Closing Remark If this episode resonated with where you're at in your marriage, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. You don't have to figure this out alone—skill-building, humility, and brotherhood can change the direction of your marriage and your family. From my heart to yours, go out and live legendary.