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Oral Sex, Frequency, Desire, and Other Topics Couples Negotiate in Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma (Episode 300)   *Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.*   Deuteronomy 30:19 + 20 “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”   *Transcription Below*   Dr. Michael Sytsma has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Georgia, a Certified Sex Therapist, and a Certified Professional Counseling Supervisor. He is also an ordained minister with The Wesleyan Church and has served as a staff pastor for churches with attendance from 30 to over 1,000. He is currently appointed to Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. by The Wesleyan Church, where he provides marriage and sex therapy and training to other professionals. Michael also cofounded Sexual Wholeness, Inc., a Christian non-profit dedicated to training, equipping, and certifying professionals in human sexuality.    After earning a Bachelor of Science in Christian Ministry from Indiana Wesleyan University, Michael went on to receive a master's degree in community counseling from Georgia State University and a diploma in Christian counseling from Psychological Studies Institute. He subsequently earned a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia in Child and Family Development/Marriage and Family Therapy, where he specialized in marital sexual therapy. His dissertation topic was “Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Married Couples.”    Building Intimate Marriages Secrets of Sex and Marriage   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Questions and Topics We Cover: What habits do you see drawing married couples closer together and also what behaviors or mindsets are pulling them apart? What are the different types of desire discrepancy? Can you share what the Bible says about oral sex and also share research findings?    Previous Savvy Sauce Episodes with Dr Mike: Ten Common Questions About Sex Enjoying a God-honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma  Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Marriage Secrets of Sex and Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:47) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org/savvy.   Today, I get to bring back our most repeated guest, Dr. Michael Sytsma. Our show notes are going to have links back to all of his previous episodes on The Savvy Sauce, and you're going to find out why he is invited back so frequently. Dr. Sytsma is a Christian sex therapist, an author, a counseling supervisor, and ordained minister. With a pastoral heart, a gift in teaching, and a passion for helping couples grow in marriage, Dr. Sytsma is the perfect guest for today to discuss these sensitive and sacred topics related to sexual intimacy in marriage. Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Mike.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:47 - 1:52) Thank you so much. It's such an honor. It's always a joy to be with you and to talk through this.   Laura Dugger: (1:52 - 2:19) Well, I'm always looking forward to these conversations. And I just want to begin with a broad overview where we can discuss both relationship builders and some of the sneaky relationship retractors. So, what habits do you see drawing married couples closer together? And then also, what are the behaviors and mindsets that are pulling them apart?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (2:21 - 5:57) So, when I sit with couples, obviously the bulk of the couples that I work with are those that are struggling or wanting things to be better. So that may be a bit of a skewed. The couples that come into workshops even are often aware that something's not quite how they want it to be. And so, watching to see what makes a difference, exactly what you're asking. And one of the biggest things I see is just the intentionality of couples that are doing well. I think many times our culture tends to say that if you've picked the right person, if everything is going well, it'll be easy and everything will just flow well. And I find that amusing because it doesn't work in any other area of life. In our finances, we have to be disciplined with them. In parenting, we have to be disciplined with it. In our own health and exercise and what we eat. If we just ate whatever we wanted, I don't think things would be good. If we waited to feel to eat healthy, I don't think we would eat healthy.   And yet couples almost have this idea that you need to desire, you need to feel the urges to do what's healthy in the marriage. And those that wait for it and wait for their spouse to do it, they tend to get irritated and disillusioned and start to see each other negatively and pull apart versus those that sit down and develop a vision. Here's who we want to be as a couple. Here's who I want to be as a husband. Here's who I want to be as a wife. And we begin to lock ourselves into who we're becoming and who we're becoming as a couple and then live intentionally towards that. I see those couples do so much better.   Part of it is, you know, if you say to your husband, here's who I want to be as a wife. And he believes that. He believes that's your heart. Then the day that you get up, and I'm sure this never happens to you, but the day you get up and you're just not in a good mood, you know, the kids kept you awake at night or you didn't eat something that was good for you. You wake up and you're not in a mood. He can extend a ton of grace because he knows you're not satisfied with yourself. He knows that you're not going to like who you are right now and you're not going to tolerate that very long. So, he doesn't have to step in and try to control you, to manipulate you, to make you to be who he wants you to be. He can step back and extend grace knowing that you're probably going to come to him later that day or tomorrow and go, sorry, I wasn't in a good mood yesterday. It was probably tough to live with. And he knows you will reset and the same for him.   If he has a rough day and he doesn't treat you with the cherishing care that you know he wants to be, then you kind of step back and we'll give him a little bit of space. He'll figure it out. And he does. And he resets and he comes back and you make intentional steps towards that vision that you guys have co-created. Those couples tend to do really well. And I see those steps being a little different for different couples because their vision might be slightly different. But the consistent patterns and habits that I see are establishing that vision, locking into it and trusting that you'll do your work and I'm going to do mine. And we're intentional in moving forward with it.   Laura Dugger: (5:58 - 6:20) Okay. So, I'm kind of hearing start with the end in mind, get on the same page with the conversation of what our vision is. And then intentionally, it sounds like pre-deciding before you're waiting for these feelings to come up to even pre-decide practical things of how often do we want to come together? What do we want that to look like? So, am I hearing that right?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (6:20 - 9:28) Yep, very much so. And obviously there's a lot that's wrapped in it. Couples have to be able to communicate effectively, you know, hear and be heard to be able to sit down and sort through who do I want to be? Because usually a few years into marriage, we're starting to ascribe motivation and desire to our spouse that's not fully accurate. And we begin to define them different than they see themselves to be able to hear that, to be able to figure out who do I want to be? How do I work with the personality that I have? Mike works in idiosyncrasies and who's the best person that I can become? And then to be able to share that with each other.   So many couples don't sit down and really talk through. As you know, sex therapy is my primary research and interest area. And so, working a lot with couples that most of the couples I work with have never shared their vision for what they want their sex life to look like. They might've argued about frequency or certain behaviors, but they've never really shared vision. And most when I challenged them to don't have a clue of themselves really how to articulate what they want. So once that vision has been discussed and talked about, then yes, they can start to sort through, well, how do we get there? And can we give ourselves permission for some time?   I told a couple of you yesterday, guys, this is going to take decades to get to where you want to be. And you get to see his face. I said, this doesn't mean that we wait decades till we get there, but you've created a really beautiful vision and nobody can do that overnight. You're going to have to regularly work at it. And you're right. That intentionality of what are we going to do?   I tell couples my recipe is 15 minutes of connect time every day where you're leaning into each other. How are you doing? Really? What's going on? And then a one hour a week, a business meeting, I call it a working date where we sit down, we do the business of marriage. Just being intentional in how do we do this? Well, at least every other week to do a fun date where we are just going and playing together. We're not trying to work on anything. We're not talking about anything difficult. We're playing together. And then once a year, some kind of a continuing ed for their marriage, whether that be some marriage therapy, a retreat, a workshop, going through a sermon series and talking about it, reading a book together, something that gets them to really focus back on how are we doing and how do we make this better? Those are all intentional things that have to be done on a regular basis. Couples who make those, like you say, early decisions and then work to consistently follow through on them. Not perfectly, but consistently following through.   Laura Dugger: (9:30 - 10:08) I love that because the fruit of it is so enjoyable then to be married to one another if you've got this intentional relationship rather than the other option is for it to really overflow into all areas of life and be difficult. But you're clearly a world-leading Christian sex therapist, so I'm very eager to hear your insight on this as well. What would you say is the current trend for trouble areas with sex and intimacy that you're seeing with your clients or people that you meet through traveling the world to speak?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (10:11 - 12:58) Obviously, some of the standards that have been a part of human culture, especially my area of interest, is desire discrepancy. Whether that be husbands and wives who desire different frequencies, who desire different practices, who desire a different tone. I want wild and crazy and you want soft and nurturing. The differing desires are a primary area of conflict for couples. Because if you're not doing what I want, my natural instinct is to lean in and start to make you be that way. And humans don't tend to do well with pressure, so it tends to shut things down and then it spins out. So that's always an ongoing one, but that's also being my primary area of research and focus, one that I see a lot just in looking.   But one that the research seems to be showing that is a bit disturbing, and we've got theories behind what's going on, but we're seeing a decrease in sexual frequency amongst couples, a decrease in couples connecting. Whether that be connecting centrally, nurturing kind of touch, you know, the tender hugs and kisses, caresses, the snuggling together at night, or the more intimate sexual encounters where couples are having intercourse or they're engaging for sexual pleasure, we're seeing a drop in those. We saw it drop. COVID was not friendly to many aspects of marriage, and we saw a lot of it drop towards the end of that. And in many respects, it hasn't recovered, according to some of the research. So that would be an area of concern, because if couples are not connecting, many times they're acting out on their own, because it's easy, I don't have to negotiate you, there's plenty of options and ways to go about doing that. And the experiences, the chemicals that are released when we connect with each other, the associating you with pleasure, all of those things decrease, and they're critical in marriage. So that would be an area that we're kind of keeping an eye on. Is that going to bounce back? What is really going on? Is it a temporary thing, or is it just a glitch in the numbers? And it doesn't seem to be, seems to be what's happening.   Laura Dugger: (13:00 - 13:19) Wow, that is kind of alarming. And since COVID, that is so interesting. You said you have a few theories, and I know you're very scientifically based, so it's too early to report the research findings. But what are your opinions or thoughts on the reasons for that?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (13:21 - 18:05) I think in working with couples, there's a couple of things that I see play out. One is we are in an age of information overload and anxiety overload. We hear so much that is disturbing, and we don't feel like we have any agency in creating change for it. So, the internal stress level just goes up, you know, wars and economy, and things that we dislike that we're out of control with. And we see a general level of stress and anxiety go up for us right now. You know, there's some insecurity in terms of what is the economy really going to do. And all of that, I believe, has an impact on our sexual behavior.   I think, in part, we're wired for that. We think through human history. However long you happen to believe humans have been around, it's a while. For most of that time, we couldn't manage our fertility. So, if a couple engaged in sex, she was going to get pregnant. Well, if I don't have the emotional energy, the bandwidth, the resources to produce a child and to raise them, it makes sense to me that we are wired to not have desire to engage sexually with somebody. We see that especially for women. If stress level goes up, they're not interested. And I think that makes sense. I think it's a wiring in. Why would you want to reproduce if you're living in a stress-filled environment? We need to raise these kids up enough that I have the bandwidth to do another one or we need to have the food resources or whatever is needed. And our brains don't always think through the details of my refrigerator's full. We're fine. It just experiences the stress of what we're in.   Guys are the same way. You tend to have to push guys to a much higher level of stress before it affects their sexual desire. But I watch it almost every day in my office. Guys come in that have lost interest in sex. I look at their lives. I'm like, you're stressed to the max. You're working 60, 70 hours a week. You're not sleeping. You're eating like crap. You're not exercising. Of course you don't have interest. So, living in a culture that has that high level of anxiety and out of control, I think is part of what's going on there. We don't give time to just sit back and relax and realize that we are a blessed people living in a blessed time. We have a lot of resources. We could do this.   I think the other side of it is the impact of, we'll just call it social media, the impact of all of the information we're able to get. And it's curated information. And we only put online the things that we're proud of. So, we put online all of these great images. We look at everybody else's life. And sometimes in the research, we'll talk about monitoring the alternatives. I'm looking at my spouse and I'm looking at them and I'm going, wait, I like what they're doing better than what you're doing. And it creates an overall dissatisfaction that we start to try to make our spouse to be different. And they don't respond well to that. They get defensive and they push back on trying to make us different. And now we've got a power struggle going on and sex doesn't do well in those kinds of settings. Sex doesn't respond well to pressure. Hearts don't respond well to pressure. So, we start to pull away. Then we experience pleasure with you less. And I experience pain and frustration with you more. And when I look over here, it increases that because they're saying this is what it's like for them. That's not what it's like for me. I want that. And I don't know that I can have that with you. So, I want to have sex with you. And it's easier to negotiate pornography. It's easier to negotiate my fantasy stories. It's easier to negotiate something individually than it is to try to negotiate you. And so, the opportunity to experience profound pleasure with our spouse goes down and the frustration goes up and the cycle just continues to spin up. So those would be, they're interrelated, but a couple of ideas that I would have at this point.   Laura Dugger: (18:06 - 20:42) And now a brief message from our sponsor. Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse and a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time? WinShape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life. From premarital to parenting to the empty nest phase, there is an opportunity for you. WinShape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even when it seems things are going smoothly, so that they're stronger if they do hit a bump along their marital journey.   These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of WinShape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham, and Chattanooga. While you're there, you will be well-fed, well-nurtured, and well-cared for. During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication, and more. I've stayed on site at WinShape before, and I can attest to their generosity, food, and content. You will be so grateful you went.   To find an experience that's right for you and your spouse, head to their website, winshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage.org slash savvy, S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship.   That's so insightful. I have a lot of follow-up questions, so I'll try to organize them because I'm thinking of three categories. First, about just pleasing yourself and not working with your spouse and negotiating. Then also desire discrepancy going further into that and social media. Let's start with the first one. When you see the numbers go down of how often couples engage sexually in marriage, you're seeing those numbers go down. Would you say that automatically means that they are just seeking this out themselves with pornography or doing things in secrecy? Would you like to clarify that?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (20:42 - 23:50) Not necessarily. It is worth asking the question, but I think one of the myths our society has, especially in the church and culture, is that sex is a need. If you're not fulfilling it with me because it's a need, you're getting it someplace. For some people, sex is a strong drive. It's a strong urge. I think it's designed in us that way to draw us to our spouse, to draw us to connecting, but it is not a need. Nobody dies from lack of it. I could line up a whole string of clients that practice sexual fidelity, sexual integrity, and they're not at a place that they can express their sexuality in a way that they believe is honoring, so they don't. Nobody dies. Nobody does poorly, even. Many times, they thrive. The belief that if you're not getting it with me, you're getting it someplace, that may be true, but that's not a foregone assumption.   For some, though, it is. It is something that I want, something that I desire. It meets a lot of my desires. I think sex meets a lot of our needs, a need of acceptance. I do believe that's a need. I think we have a need to be desired, to be pursued. I think those are God-reflective needs in us. God desires those things. I think it's fair to say that those are needs, and we often get those needs met through sex. Even in an altered, hollow way, masturbatory sex can give something towards those needs. It's worth asking, as somebody pursuing that individually. A couple last week, they sat down for the first time and started to talk about that with each other. What do you do? We're only engaging this frequency. What do you do outside of that? They were both surprised at what each other does, and able to step back and say, I'm challenging them to do vision work. What do we want? For one of them, they said, “I don't want this part of my life. I want it to be only you, but that doesn't always work well. What do we need to do so it can be?” The other is not so sure that they want to give up some of what they're enjoying in their individual time. How do we wrap that in? It's interesting to watch them work through the vision and try to figure out who do they want to be as couples. But to go back to your question, no, it's not a foregone that they're going to be acting out. But it's worth asking, and worth asking, is that what you want? Or are you taking that as a second best because you don't see an opportunity to pursue what's really good? If that's true, can we maybe figure out how for both of us to get what we truly desire?   Laura Dugger: (23:51 - 24:19) That's so wise. Then to elaborate also on desire discrepancy, you've shared this is your primary research area. Can you expand a little bit on, I won't hit all of these, but you had talked about it being a desire discrepancy with frequency, with the type of activity, and I feel like there was one other topic. In practices. Can you share more about each of those?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (24:20 - 27:48) Yeah, the primary conflict that comes into my office is often illustrated by frequency. Generally, in most couples, the husband, the male, has a desire for a higher frequency. The female has, her frequency desire tends to be lower. In Secrets of Sex and Marriage, we have all the numbers that play that out. What's interesting is when we test them, they're not as far apart as they believe they are. Actually, in our survey, 22% of couples were wanting the exact same amount. Only 14% or 15% believe that they wanted the same amount, which is a pretty significant difference. Couples are closer together than they think they are. And most of those couples, even when they were different, were only one mark different. She said that she would like to have sex one to two times a week, and he said he would like to have sex two to three times a week. That's one mark different. Most couples were not that different, even when there was one.   Usually what is being expressed there is, I don't know that you desire me as much as I desire you. I desire you in a way that's physically connecting, and you don't seem to. What does that mean about me? What does that mean about am I a desirable person? Would you prefer to have somebody else other than me? Often, underneath that is the fears of, do you choose me? Do you want me? Do you like playing with me? I want a playmate. I want somebody who we can just relax and be together. I want somebody who holds me and nurtures and comforts me, and you don't seem to want to do that. What does that mean about me? The fight about the frequency, but really what's underneath it is a lot of fears.   That comes into the types as well. I want sex that is wild and crazy and spontaneous. I want to be able to walk into the room and you lose your mind. That never happens anymore. I want sex that follows us having long talks where you've cared for my heart and you've nurtured me. We've gone slow and you've really just cherished me. You just want something wild and crazy and to lose your mind. How do we bring those two together? Or practices. I enjoy bringing toys in and playing. You don't like that. You like the one kind that helps you to feel connected. I want to play more. The research on oral sex that we just finished comes into that and how they desire differently around even those practices. So, all of that comes into the office. I'm sure you're hearing at one level it is we're arguing about what I want versus you want. At another level, it's what does that mean? What does it mean to my heart and how do I interpret that you don't want to do this? That comes into play pretty heavily and it's worth couples trying to unpack and figure it out.   Laura Dugger: (27:48 - 28:01) And would you say that to unpack and figure it out is that most beneficial at a neutral time or what kind of conversation starters would be helpful for them?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (28:04 - 29:54) Not to advertise, but Secrets of Sex and Marriage was designed, we wrote it, and my heart desire in it was to have a book that couples could sit down and read out loud to each that would start these conversations. So, if they read through a session or a section that talks about one type of sexual behavior to pause and go, I think this author is stupid. Nobody wants that. And to start the conversation about what do each of them like and what do they want as a couple. I think it often takes something outside of them to help get the conversation started. And we always tell couples don't have these conversations around sex. Don't have it in the bed. Have it at the coffee table the next day. Have it in structured working dates. Have it in times that we're going to talk about this. So, we're doing our best to be our best while we're talking about it. Keep those conversations time limited or you run out of energy. Step at it, work on it a bit, then step back, get a break, rethink. So, all of the stuff that we know how to do with difficult conversations in business, we bring those skills in because heart issues are involved and we're not always aware of the heart issues. If I start to get defensive, we need to step away from it because curiosity is the only thing that's going to work here. So yes, structuring it. Most couples struggle to do that on their own. They struggle to do that on finances and parenting, how to manage your mom, let alone something as intimate as sex. So many times they will need a coach or a therapist or somebody just to hold the space for them so they can have that conversation.   Laura Dugger: (29:55 - 30:08) That's brilliant advice. And I like that kind of step care mentality of getting the book and trying that first. It still is a neutral third party and I think that's a great place to begin.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (30:09 - 30:26) I love when couples come in and say, well, we read this section and he said, well, that's just stupid. And I look at him like, what do you mean that's stupid? I think that way. And as long as they can stay curious and not critical, those conversations go really well.   Laura Dugger: (30:28 - 30:48) That's good. Staying curious. Okay. So, then you also mentioned social media. So can you speak more to this demand that people are having to, I guess the way that you've worded it in the past is the demand for fantasy that people see in social media and pornography.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (30:50 - 34:18) Maybe a stupid example. My wife and I are looking at redoing our master bathroom closet. It's been a lot of years. The first person we had come in and take a look at it went, yeah, this has been here a while. Okay. So yeah, maybe it needs to be redone. And so, what do you do? You start jumping online and looking, well, what are people doing today? What do bathrooms look like? And you start looking at them going, wow, I want that. Well, I can't fit that space into my space. So, do I need different space? And all of a sudden, all of these desires that I have and what I fantasize about living in, what if it's not even possible where I'm at? What do I do with the tension in it? Can I look at what I've got and really appreciate it and work on making it maybe better, but not need to swap it out for something else or not stay in a state of discontent with what I got, even after it's been upgraded and redone.   A stupid little example, I think of what goes on in relationship as we watch a couple and their gorgeous pictures of their vacation or their family pictures of, it looks like this big family with all the grands and they're having so much fun together. And every time my kids get together, we have knockdown drag outs, or two of my kids won't even show up, or the grands act out every time that they're around. And my family isn't the ideal family. My spouse isn't the ideal spouse. Here's a picture of him with his arms wrapped around looking so nurturing. And I don't know that my husband ever does that to me. He's always irritated with me. And we go to, I desire to be pursued. I desire to be chosen. I desire to be nurtured. And I see that in all of these images out there, and I'm not experiencing it. And I increase the fantasy of what I could have, what I desire to have. And I look at you and I think, it's not even possible to have that with you. You're not that kind of person. I'm not sure I picked right. And we're creating something that is really destructive in the process.   When we go back a few hundred years ago, and your spouse was chosen for you, or your spouse was one of only a handful of people that were even options. I got the best of those. This is pretty good. And we're working to make it good. And no, it's not perfect. Nobody expected it to be perfect. I love the song in Fiddler on the Roof, Do You Love Me? My father told us that I'd be lucky if in time, we would fall in love with each other, because they didn't marry for love. And then realizing that over the years, they had developed a rich kind of love. That's a very different experience than we have today, where we want the fantasy right up front. And we never want to step out of the fantasy, because it looks like it's all around us. And I don't know that's necessarily good for us, because the real takes work. I don't want to work. I want you to be who I want you to be without me working.   Laura Dugger: (34:20 - 34:39) That's so interesting. And that, I guess, pairing social media and phones, which are relatively recent changes, and then COVID, and there's so much curiosity around why have things changed so much sexually for married couples since COVID? But all of these consequent...   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (34:39 - 35:33) We think in part, it was pushing couples together, because we saw a spike in activity when we first shut things down. I'm blocking on the word that we use for it. But when we first shut things down and lock people up together, we saw an initial spike, and then we saw a drop. And it's that sense of, okay, now you're wearing on me, and I don't know that I want to do this with you. I think some of it was pushing people into the online world. I talk about social media, but it covers all of that online consuming that we do, and the dissatisfaction growing in. So, when you push people together, there's plenty of that talk about that. It doesn't always do real well, unless they're intentional and work at it.   Laura Dugger: (35:34 - 37:26) Okay, that is interesting. As you say, social media, maybe putting it even with phones, even just the amount of time that people you're giving so much attention to your screen, rather than one another. And it does seem like that was from COVID.   By now, I hope you've checked out our updated website, thesavvysauce.com, so that you can have access to all the additional freebies we are offering, including all of our previous articles, and all of our previous episodes, which now include transcriptions. You will be equipped to have your own practical chats for intentional living. When you read all the recommended questions in the articles, or gain insight from expert guests and past episodes as you read through the transcriptions, because many people have shared with us that they want to take notes on previous episodes, or maybe their spouse prefers to read our conversations rather than listen to them or watch them now that we're offering video rather than just audio. So, we heard all of that. And we now have provided transcripts for all our episodes. Just visit thesavvysauce.com. All of this is conveniently located under the tab show notes on our website. Happy reading.   So, this is kind of a big question, but whether it's thinking of wisdom for married couples, or even the way that they train their children so that they can avoid some of these pitfalls later on when they're adults. So, I'm thinking of the engagement and connection in real life face-to-face versus screens. Do you have any other wisdom that may actually impact them sexually someday?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (37:27 - 40:25) There are some foods that we don't eat because they're poisonous to us. There are some things we don't take into our brains because they're toxic to us. Yeah, we do. We learn to stay totally away from those. But yeah, I was thinking more the experiences that I have of even a spouse saying, “you can't have access to anything because I'm so angry at you.” I don't know if that's helpful.   Laura Dugger: (40:26 - 40:56) I see what you're saying. Appreciate the heart behind that, not controlling them and also taking the responsibility of self-discipline. So, there's another topic that many married couples may want to know more about, but they don't know where a safe place is to go and ask. So, this is the topic of oral sex. And so, Dr. Mike, can you share first what the Bible has to say about oral sex, but also share with us some of the research findings?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (40:57 - 52:46) Okay. So, we've got three more hours, right? So, if we tried to collapse it down a little bit, this comes a bit out of just working with it for so many years. We do the couples' workshops. We always do an Ask Dr. Mike. And so, through the entire workshop, today's technology, we used to use three by five cards, but today's technology, they can anonymously send a message in to me. And we take an hour of workshop and just go through those and answer them. And I am always going to get several on the subject. So, it's just been something that we know couples want to know about. Because it is a desire discrepancy, it is of interest to me. And so, we rolled questions about it into our last survey, the Marital Intimacy Project, where we surveyed 501 married couples, and a nationally representative sample. So, these weren't Christian couples, they weren't non-Christian couples, they weren't. The sample represents the 2018 U.S. Census data for the United States. So, in racial mix, racial ethnic mix, and religious mix and age, where they're at in the country. So, this is what these married couples are telling us about. So that's the background that some of this embeds in.   And your first question is, what does scripture say about it? Well, that depends on who you ask. You know, if we go back through most of church history, the purpose for sex was procreation. And anything that wasn't procreative act was considered outside of the boundary of God, because sex was about procreation. And many even teaching that once you got to the age that you weren't trying to have kids any longer, you should stop having sex, because the purpose for sex is procreation. And if you're doing it for pleasure, you're risking sin. If you're doing it for connection, you're risking sin. Well, if sex is about procreation, first, foremost, and sometimes only, oral sex is not acceptable, because it's not a potentially procreative act. That's the language that's often used in some of the church history teaching, that it needs to have the potential for procreation. And if it doesn't, then it's sin, it's outside of God's boundary. So, for hundreds of years, we have teaching that says that oral sex is totally unacceptable because it's not procreative.   If you take a perspective that sex is about connection, or sex is about play, sex is about intimacy, and sex is about pleasure, then all of that is re-evaluated. So, we have those theologians that look at Song of Solomon, where he talks about tasting of her garden. Nobody questions what her garden is in the story, the imagery that's used there. But there are those, or the flip side of that, she talks about drinking of his spring. And many theologians would look at that and say, no, no, no, that's not about oral sex. God would never talk about oral sex because that's unacceptable. It's not a procreative act. He is using imagery there to talk about the intensity of the love and the desire. This is strictly a spiritual story. And then others come in and say, yeah, no, I think it's about the physical. God would talk about that because couples do this, and it's playful, and it's fun, and it's good, and it allows them to connect. And the pleasure is not a bad thing. And when he's talking of tasting of her garden, when she's talking of drinking of his spring, they're talking about oral sex and scripture. And God talks about drink deeply, enjoy. And so, the other side of the argument says, for couples that enjoy this, there's nothing wrong in it.   Now, I think we can make a larger argument. Scripture talks about consent. Scripture talks about honoring one another. Scripture talks about desiring for one another. So anytime we step in and we start using demands, that is not scriptural. You know, Christ was profoundly invitational. He was profoundly inviting in who he was. The language I use for it sometimes shocks people. I say Christ was profoundly seductive. He had the ability to woo, to draw, that he can step up to somebody whose generational career is fishing. This is what their family is about. And he walks up and he says, “Hey, come follow me.” And they drop their nets and leave. I mean, who has the ability to do that? And it wasn't a command, you need to do this, or you're going to burn in hell. No, it was a wooing invitation. He had profound ways to look at somebody and point out their sin. Yeah, I know you've been married to what was it, four men already, and the one that you're living with is not, you're not married to him. He calls out her sin in such a way that she leans into the story. You know, how seductive, how invitational. I want to be a fly on the wall of that well, to experience what it was like to listen to him talk. And how did he draw people so well? That's who we want to be in marriage. We want to be the seductive, the person who draws, not the person who commands. So, if we take any of these principles and we start to demand of our spouse, I think that's not scriptural. So, when you ask, what does scripture say? I think it talks about honoring one another, nurturing one another, inviting, if that's something that's pleasing to you.   So, the question was, well, what do couples do? What do they want? And so, we asked all of these couples to, how often do you perform on your spouse? And what would you like? Do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy performing on your spouse? Do you enjoy having it performed on you? And it was really fascinating. You know, there's a lot of numbers that come into it. But the first thing that we learned is this tends to be couple scoring. If one does, the other one likely does. If we move into desire, that's more individual scoring. But if we move into practice, it tends to be couples. So, the couples where both of them said we never do, couples where both of them said we often do or occasionally do, and couples who said we regularly do or always do, those were clubs. The ones where he said, well, I always do. And she says, “I never do.” Those were rare, which was interesting. And then when we had it broken down into a lot of categories, but when we clumped them all together into the never, rarely, occasionally, sometimes, and often, always, we get almost third, third, and third. And so, couples have said in my office, but everybody does it. Actually, no, they don't. The largest group when we had it all broken down were couples that never do. That was the largest group. And the couples that always do was half of the never do. But if we get the larger categories, it's almost a third, third, and third, which says to me, it's perfectly okay, whatever the couple decides. Let's let them decide their comfort, what they enjoy with it, what it means to them. And that's more important than the behavior of it.   Then when we do get into, and I'm looking over here at my numbers, so I get them kind of right. We did not see a huge difference in age. I expected there to be a difference in practice with age. We didn't see a huge difference. And there was no difference in marital satisfaction or in sexual satisfaction between the couples that did and didn't. The only times we saw a difference was when they were what we would call asymmetrical. And those few couples where she said, “I always do”, and he says, “I never do.” Or the other way around. We got asymmetrical, we saw a decrease in marital and sexual satisfaction. But there was no difference in the couples that say we never do and the couples that say we always do. So, it didn't have an impact on sexual satisfaction. It had a bit of an impact on her orgasmic frequency, which that kind of makes sense. But the biggest difference was in desires and how, whether you like to or not.   So, we asked husbands, do you like to have it performed on you? And we asked wives, does he like when you perform on him? And wives have us figured out. The answer is almost identical to us. When we asked husbands, “does your wife enjoy doing this?” And we asked wives, “do you enjoy performing on him?” Husbands really overestimate how much she enjoys this, which was fascinating. Not a surprise, but fascinating. And there was a big difference between what the husband enjoys and performing on him and what the wife enjoys and performing on him. That was a massive difference. And then in the middle of that is performing on her. And they weren't near as far apart there. But once again, husbands overestimated her enjoyment. Wives underestimated his enjoyment, which was interesting. But there wasn't a huge difference. So, if we take the wife enjoying performing on him, husbands enjoying being performed on, those are quite a bit different. And right in the middle was wives saying that they enjoy it and husbands saying they enjoy performing on her. So that was interesting in looking at what they do and don't like.   Now, I haven't broken it down into some of the categories of couples. Yeah, I did look at it in terms of desire types. And there was some big differences there, which we would expect that an initiating type of a desire is going to want more versus a receptive or resistant, a little less. But I haven't broken down some of it even more detailed. Those initial numbers have been fascinating to see. And I think the takeaway is what we started with. What's your vision? What do you want and why? What does it mean to you? Let's decide what you want in your marriage. And then let's take steps to make it healthy and to be good and to move toward it. And it doesn't have to be tomorrow. We can slowly grow to that.   Laura Dugger: (52:47 - 53:09) That is so interesting. And I'm sure that's so helpful when a majority of people are submitting those kind of questions. Now you have some normative responses. And you also mentioned something in there about the different types of initiation or desire, and one is resistant. So, can you go into all three of those and define that?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (53:10 - 58:20) Yeah. We have the cultural message that desire is being harmed. And it is. That we feel we wake up and I'm interested in sex or you walk by and I'm interested in sex. I want to have sex. We think of it as spontaneous. It's not actually spontaneous, but we think of it as spontaneous. That's an initiating type of desire where we're aware of the desire before arousal. We pursue the sex for arousal is the experience of it. The second, and for that I've shifted to in the book, we talk about a car and being driving neutral and parking, but I've shifted to talking about in terms of boats, you know, that initiating desire is a speedboat, sometimes a really big engine, sometimes not so big of an engine, but it's powered, it's moving forward. Receptive desire requires arousal before the desire shows up. So, it takes an intentional step to move forward. Yeah, we can do that. And I'm enjoying doing this. Oh, my body's enjoying this too. This is good. And then the desire clicks on. So, desire sometimes may not show up till five to 10 minutes into the sex act. Now I want this, please don't stop, you know, please do it this way. Now the desire is there. That's the receptive desire. And I talk about that as kind of like a sailboat. You know, it's not powered by an engine. It needs an external force to kind of get it moving forward. But I also have to have the sails up. And what does it take for me to have the sails up on my sailboat? And what seduces me, what draws me, what helps me to move towards that desire?   And then resistant is the motor's pulled up out of the water, the sails are tied down, and there's two anchors that are, you know, doesn't matter what you do, I'm not moving. I'm not going to allow anything to move me. Or those anchors are there for a good reason, because of trauma, because of wounds, maybe that you have done. Maybe the relationship is not safe. If I get naked, I'm going to be criticized. I don't care to get naked, whether that be emotionally or physically. So, most of the time when I'm working with somebody who's resistant, the resistance is there for a good reason. And we have to figure out what's going on and how do we get rid of the anchors? Or how do we get this engine started again? And it may be physical, it may be emotional, may be relational, may be spiritual. But the resistance is going to be something has got us locked down in our sexuality, or locked down towards you. I'm still interested in sex, just not with you. And so, we have to kind of unpack that.   I do think that generally requires a third party, a therapist who's skilled in this who can work with it. My concern is even most therapists are defining receptive desires, low desire. And so, if somebody comes in and says, well, I have low desire, and they even if they realize they have receptive desire, all of the interventions are designed to increase initiating desire, rather than help somebody to nurture their type of desire, to nurture the receptive type of desire, or to figure out there's a reason you're resistant. Can we step back and create the space for you to drop the guards to figure out why you're resistant? Because he may be resistant and not even know why. He just, I'm not going to go there. And we have to create the space for him to even sit in it and start to figure it out. Or she may be, same thing for her, she may be resistant, and she might have an idea why, but we haven't unpacked it enough to really figure out what's going on. She just feels like she's broken and is being criticized by her husband. So, to step back and figure out which of those three is really going on, and how do we work with it?   So those types, within those, there are different levels, you know, we'll have an initiating desire that has a really big engine. They want sex all the time. Or an initiating desire that has a smaller engine. They don't want it all that often, but when they do, they're going to pursue it. A receptive desire that has really big sales doesn't take an awful lot to get them moving forward, but it doesn't come from within. And those that, you know, it takes a lot of work to get this thing moving forward. Is there a way we can increase the sales a little bit, so it doesn't take quite so much work internally and to the spouse? So, we're looking at types, we're looking at levels. It gets really complex, which is part of the fun of it, but part of what makes it tough for couples, and they default to the, you're broken, you don't want me, you don't like me. They default to simple answers that don't work. Mm.   Laura Dugger: (58:21 - 58:37) Okay. So, it sounds like you're saying the goal isn't to get everybody to have the engine, which is maybe where some therapists could direct them in the wrong way, but to grow in the freedom and releasing and get closer to the vision.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (58:38 - 59:38) I was teaching this to some therapists and one of them came up on break and she says, “okay, I hear all of this, but you've got to be honest that truly the healthy person, when they've done good work, is going to have initiating desire.” If you walk into the therapy office with that, the receptive desire person, you're always internally thinking you're broken, you're immature, you're something, you're not okay. That's wrong. No receptive desire is a legitimate type. We're not trying to get the receptive person to be initiating. That's probably, I suspect that's not how they're wired. So, asking them to be that different, and they'll say, but there was a time that they were, well, yes, but that was a unique season of life where biology was very different. Now they're kind of, they're normative, so.   Laura Dugger: (59:39 - 1:01:06) That's so great. And that's what I always appreciate. Dr. Mike, you always offer hope for everyone, even the one who's locked down with the anchors. It's a, how can we start to lift those anchors? There's hope that there is change and restoration possible. And I've just loved this conversation. Deuteronomy 30 keeps coming to mind. There are two verses because I feel like you've laid out wisdom for intentionality or the negatives and hazardous results that can come from overindulging, prioritizing, connecting with our phone rather than our spouse. And so, I just want to read these two verses from Deuteronomy 30, it's verses 19 and 20. It says, "This day, I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord, your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him for the Lord is your life. And he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." So, it's just been such a delight to have this conversation. And I know we could talk all day, but you still have a full day of work to also get back to. So where can we go after this chat to learn more from you?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:01:07 - 1:01:38) My primary website is intimatemarriage.org. And there are links through that to even get to like my link page that has some of the professional articles. We're putting together some little teaching videos that grab some of this. All of that can be located through intimatemarriage.org. And of course, secretsofsexandmarriage.com is the book website too. There are a lot of resources there.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:39 - 1:01:59) I highly recommend both of those. So, we'll add the links in the show notes for today's episode. And you're familiar as our most repeated guest that we are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, my final question for you today, Dr. Mike, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:01:59 - 1:02:37) I think it would flow from what you were just reading there in Deuteronomy. What does it take to choose life versus choose death? I can choose death by being passive, by waiting for something to happen. If I'm going to choose life, I'm working on it. So, it goes to what we started with, a vision-based intentionality. Is the savvy sauce, who do I want to be? Who do we want to be? And how do I be intentional and consistently and regularly moving toward that? Not perfect in it, but I know what I'm striving toward and I'm being intentional and taking steps that direction.   Laura Dugger: (1:02:38 - 1:03:07) So good. And Dr. Mike, just thank you for being a safe place where we can go for these sensitive and sacred topics. I think it's going to be fascinating someday in heaven to hear all of the people saying, “oh yeah, he helped us with our marriage too. And he helped us.” So we've been so enriched because of your work. So, thank you for your investment in your work that impacts people for eternity. And thank you for being my guest.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:03:08 - 1:03:09) Well, thanks for having me back.   Laura Dugger: (1:03:10 - 1:06:52) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Canon Stephen Sharpe, ICKSP, serves as Parochial Vicar at St. Joseph Shrine in Detroit, Michigan. He was ordained in 2020. In Today's Show: How can we pursue forgiveness rather than vengeance? What is the official rite of conditional confirmation? How does Canon remain strong in his faith despite the state of the world? What is the difference between the ICKSP and the FSSP? Why are the Ember days this week? Why do priests no longer tell wives to submit to their husbands? What is the most unique place Canon has heard confession at? Visit the show page at thestationofthecross.com/askapriest to listen live, check out the weekly lineup, listen to podcasts of past episodes, watch live video, find show resources, sign up for our mailing list of upcoming shows, and submit your question for Father!

What kind of people would dance in the streets after the 9/11 terrorist attack that killed upwards of 3,000 people? The same ones who have now become elevated martyrs by large swaths of the Global Left: the Palestinians.Katie Couric, like most mainstream journalists back then, had no problem exposing such monstrous behavior by those fed a steady diet of dehumanization of the American people. Would she do it today? No. Would any of them do it today? No.Who would celebrate the live execution of a prominent activist on the Right, so much so that they'd lose their jobs for exposing what sociopaths they really are? Hundreds, if not thousands, on the Left did just that. Radicalized or mainstream, it didn't matter. They have become what the Palestinians were back then: so propagandized and radicalized, they've lost their humanity.You can see it now in those TikTok videos that have turned “When it Happens” into a viral trend. That's what ten years of dehumanizing can do to otherwise decent people. They say they're decent, but TikTok proves otherwise.They have cast themselves as morally superior to the other half of the country and would point to how some on the Right mocked George Floyd after his death in 2020. But the difference is that many prominent Republicans like Ted Cruz instantly condemned it. No Democrat has condemned the mockery and the celebration of Charlie's death. Oh sure, they all said what they had to say: the standard “violence has no place in our politics.” They said it, but did they mean it? How could they if they've never condemned the rising cult-like fantasies of Trump's death and the celebration of Charlie's execution?If anything, the Democrats were more worried Charlie's influence would grow, so they sent out their One True King, Barack Obama, to put Charlie's legacy in context.Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez did the same thing, acting as though what Charlie said - the cherry-picked, out-of-context quotes fed to them- was worse than their own side mocking and celebrating his murder. His words were worse than his death.But that is who they are now. Speech is violence. Speech is hate. Speech must be tightly monitored and controlled. Is assassinating Charlie Kirk or trying to assassinate Donald Trump any different from the Jihadists who mass-murdered journalists at Charlie Hebdo in Paris for blasphemy against Mohammad? Hasan Piker, aka the “Twitch streamer in California,” like Dean Withers, condemned those who made jokes of Charlie's death. At least at first. Once Piker sensed the vacuum left in Charlie's absence, he turned his death into a viral meme just a month or so later. Credit to Axios' Alex Thompson for pressing him to explain it.Piker's song became a TikTok dance meme and a permission structure for many to showcase themselves as dead-eyed zombies dancing to the sound of the bullet hitting his neck a year later for the “Kirkaversary.”Utopias only have two paths forward. They either collapse or they become more authoritarian. The Left still hasn't confronted the radical elements on their side, not just Hasan Piker, but the many shooters who have risen up to become martyrs and heroes.They mock, they meme, but underneath it all, as with Al-Qaeda or other radical Islamic groups, what motivates them is pure hatred. Words are violence. Words are hatred, and “some hate can't be negotiated out.” They can laugh it off all they want, but they've left a paper trail.Turning Point put up a Charlie Kirk statue, and it was immediately vandalized.If they can meme a live execution and feel nothing, then why wouldn't they see America as bad or worse than Al-Qaeda? The oppressor/oppressed indoctrination factory that is public schools and universities has raised them in the good/evil binary. Video games, IP, and superhero movies all adopted that binary, and after Columbine and 9/11, parents like me shut our kids indoors to keep them safe, and this good/evil binary would one day become white people evil, brown people good, and Al-Qaeda, like the Palestinians, can't be seen as the villains. Abdul El-Sayed and Zohran Mamdani have arisen as cult leaders almost because there is nothing the Left will hold them accountable for, lest they be called racists. No one will look at El-Sayed's erased history, the videos or the tweets. What did he think? What does he still think? No one will know because no one would dare ask.The Democrats have never been held accountable for the sharp rise of radicalized violence and death fantasies that have gone mainstream. They're rewarded for it with likes and reposts. They've never confronted it. They've never solved it, and the legacy media has supported them every step of the way, all the while demonizing MAGA as the more extreme side. Piker was their masculine, patriarchal, non-white Joe Rogan. No more Mr. Nice Guy! Let's get those Gen-Z and male voters. That was the plan anyway. Now, maybe it's becoming a mess, a liability. Then again, maybe not. Maybe this is just who they are now. How We Got HereI know how we got here because I grew up on the Left. I was one of these people. I know what it felt like that day the towers were hit. I know why we pivoted so quickly to focus on the greater evil that was George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and those two wars that did what the war on Gaza has now done: flip the script, so America is the bad guy.I know what happened in our schools. I know how women like me grew in power in America and changed our society amid the “Great Feminization.” I know what happened to my daughter's generation, why so many white kids felt such deep shame they were willing to do anything to escape their own skin, even destroying their own bodies at the hands of a fundamentalist cult.I know what it was like when Obama won and how we built our utopia - a better America shaped by more women and what it was like when our first female president was denied the win but just barely, putting in power a guy who would ultimately redeem Bush and Cheney and be sold as the World's Greatest Evil to whole generations for the past ten years.We were just kidding with Bush and Cheney. Trump is the really, really bad guy. And everyone went along with it. Maybe I didn't think it would go so far as young men picking up weapons to murder as part of the “resistance.” Maybe I didn't think, in the wake of Charlie's death, a guy like Hasan Piker would become such an influential voice and do exactly the opposite of what Charlie did by teaching young people to hate America.But that's what happens when a utopia becomes a totalitarian dystopia, closer to fascism than this country has ever gotten and not that far from where Al-Qaeda was on the eve of 9/11 - so full of hate and revenge fantasies that they would take advantage of the same people who welcomed them into their country and treated them with kindness. I certainly would not have thought any of them, let alone most of them, would see the war in Gaza as “genocide” and then apply that to all of America and its history, redeeming the monsters who attacked us on 9/11. We're the bad guys, they insist. We're the terrorists.But here we are, America. We are about to put these people who hate this country, its history, and many of its citizens, in power. We're about to sell out the American dream because of high gas prices.It's not lost on me that Democrats have been saying the same thing to their voters. I was one of them. I see the mirror image of this moment: when gas prices and inflation were too high under Biden, Democrats begged Americans to vote for Kamala to save the country. I know they see it that way too.But I've been on both sides. I know each side's strengths and weaknesses. And that's why I know the side that either celebrated the murder of Charlie Kirk or said nothing about those who did is the side that is dangerous not just for America but for humanity.President SelectMy daughter was just three when the towers were hit. It was three hours early in California. My French boyfriend at the time had a habit of waking up with CNN, and there it was. Smoke billowing out of one of the towers at the World Trade Center. “Turn on the news,” I told my friend that day. It took us all a while to figure out who did it and why, and the first thing that happened was everyone felt fear that Muslims would be attacked. Even George W. Bush felt it necessary to say Islam is peace. And it's true, not all Muslims- like it's true, not all people on the Left but you have to condemn the radicalized, or else they consume the whole.We were still haunted by the Japanese Internment camps after the Pearl Harbor attack, which took us to World War II. We didn't want to be that America, not us progressive liberals. We were the good guys. The 2000 election left us bitter and unable to accept that Bush was legitimately elected. And that mattered more to us than the tragedy on 9/11. It had to, because Bush was the president, so everything had to go not just wrong but catastrophically wrong - the wars, Wall Street, Katrina. We were making our own reality even back then because we could. In 2004, Michael Moore released Fahrenheit 911, which began with the premise that the 2000 election had been stolen. The villain of Fahrenheit 9/11 was the Commander in Chief, and much was made of this moment, when he heard of the attacks and people like me nodded furiously along. We knew who the bad guys were, and they weren't Al-Qaeda.And in 2003, just two years after 9/11, when Michael Moore accepted the Oscar for Bowling for Columbine, he was booed, with a part of the Left with their perspective still intact. Needless to say, that wouldn't happen now. We were beginning a new origin story, one where the worst people in the world were put in power by the Supreme Court and Big Oil. We weren't quite at the place where we would divide and measure goodness by skin color or gender, but we weren't far off. We just needed a leader to believe in.And as our hero rose in the form of a “skinny kid with a funny name,” we began to find marginalized groups as our protected, sacred symbols because of our love and devotion to Barack Obama.Just as our first black President became our savior, our villain was rising too. It was Sarah Palin and her demonization of Radical Islamic Terror. That, we knew, made her a “racist” and a villain.In 2012, she was depicted as a paranoid idiot whose bigotry clouded her judgment in Game Change.The Tea Party had already been cast as a “white power” movement to thwart its growth, even if by 2016 it would elect a president with the help of Charlie Kirk.By 2012, we were a bitterly divided country with the Left deciding its enemies were not the brown people in the Middle East but rather the homegrown racists in our own country. We began to slowly separate ourselves from them. Whatever unity we felt after 9/11 vanished. That same year, Kathryn Bigelow's Zero Dark Thirty was released about the killing of Bin Laden. But the movie had no heroes. The final scene is brutal and haunting, full of children screaming and women crying. The main character, whose life had been devoted to hunting Bin Laden, is left shaken and alone with the thought lingering in the air: what was it all for? Hardly the rousing moment of heroism we would expect when America won. Game Change and Zero Dark Thirty were pure propaganda for the Democrats and the beginning of how we stopped seeing America as the hero after 9/11.Not that America anymoreAfter 9/11, some questioned whether the Oscars would be held at all. Tom Cruise took to the stage and spoke to all of America, not just the blue half. He wanted to bring this country together, and that, he said, is what movies are for. Remember that Hollywood? Remember that America?After Charlie Kirk's live execution, the cowards in Hollywood didn't even have the courage to say his name at the Oscars or the Emmys, and still don't. That shows you how divided we are, how scared they are, how they see their enemies as half the country, and how their deaths do not matter. I think what hurts the most, watching so many of the 9/11 videos as I've been doing, is seeing and remembering when it was like back then, when we were one America, how everyone came through, how we held together, how so many ordinary people became heroes to help those who were trapped, many of them giving their lives for others.Mothers lost sons and daughters. Wives lost husbands. 40% of those who were killed are still unaccounted for. It doesn't seem like we've ever really come to terms with the tragedy of that day because, in its aftermath, the keepers of culture could not make America the hero. But America was, and remains, the hero fighting the good fight. It's the better fight, for a better world, even if I didn't realize it until 25 years later. Now I see it. Now I understand because now I can see what dehumanization and radicalization can do. Here is a clip from Triggernometry and guest Richard Miniter (watch the whole thing, it's great). I finally watched The Great Boatlift - the largest sea rescue in history - where so many New Yorkers volunteered their boats to rescue 500,000 people off the Island of Manhattan. In these videos, I see the America I remember, the one I fled 30 years ago to spend the rest of my life online. I miss that America, the one that believed in our collective goodness, not the one where one side took all of the power and abused that power by seeing the other half of the country as their enemy.And worse, became radicalized to the point of violence, to the point of mocking the assassinated and believing they have no other choice but to wish for the death of their president, in video after video after video. 9/10 and 9/11 will come back to us every year to remind us of what is great about this country and what is trying to destroy this country. Every year, we will be forced to stare evil in the face and fight for the forces of good standing in its way. Godspeed, America. Godspeed.. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sashastone.com/subscribe

FALL TOUR TICKETS > barstoolsports.com/events/justbetweenustour. Fran's birthday! (00:00-32:10). Dancing with the Stars week 1 full recap (33:22-1:16:42). Mikayla Matthews exits The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives + Taylor Frankie Paul allegedly fails multiple drug tests (1:16:43-1:23:59). Interview with the delightful Tom Bateman - talking his new movie The Love Hypothesis, having 14 siblings, Based on a True Story + more! (1:25:54-2:05:18). Beat Ria & Fran game 235 with Matt & Kenzie (2:06:13-2:26:41). CITO LINKS > barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

We're recapping Season 5 of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives! Did you enjoy the short season? Was there too much Taylor? Where was the Whitney goodbye? How did Jen get the OC spinoff? Is Mikayla quitting in hopes of getting Taylor fired? Can MomTok survive this? Come judge with us!You can find us:Linktree: Two Judgey GirlsPodcast: ACast, iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen!Instagram & Threads: @twojudgeygirlsTikTok: @twojudgeygirls // @marytwojudgeygirls // @courtneytjgYouTube: @twojudgeygirlsFacebook: www.facebook.com/twojudgeygirlsMerch: www.etsy.com/shop/twojudgeygirlsPatreon: www.patreon.com/twojudgeygirls LTK: @marytwojudgeygirls // @courtneytjg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Juliet Litman and Callie Curry are back on Reality Hangover to break down all the latest reality TV chaos! They dive into Mikayla's exit from 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,' react to the performances from the 'Dancing With the Stars' men's night, and review Episodes 1 and 2 of 'The Traitors: New Blood' to see whether the civilians can handle the castle.- Mikayla's exit (3:33)- 'DWTS' (13:49)- 'Traitors: New Blood' (25:19)Hosts: Juliet Litman and Callie CurryProducers: Mike Wargon and Michael Szokoli Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We're on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don't miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christi and Kelly start with Housewives Girls Trip, but the real rabbit hole this week is Secret Lives of Mormon Wives — because Christi cannot stop seeing Dance Moms all over it.From the “star” being protected to bad behavior getting rewarded, cast members worrying about fan backlash, and everyone trying to figure out how honest they can actually be on camera, the whole thing feels a little too familiar. Christi breaks down why Taylor reminds her of Abby, why some of the other women fall into very Dance Moms-like roles, and why watching the behind-the-scenes reality TV machine play out again feels so strange years later.GET TICKETS TO SEE US LIVE!Connecticut (October 2): https://ridgefieldplayhouse.org/event/back-to-the-barre-ridgefield-ct-2026New York City (October 3): https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/00006518C2C668A9Welcome to Back to the Barre, the ultimate podcast channel where Kelly Hyland and Christi Lukasiak from Dance Moms spill the tea, share the laughs, and take you behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV moments!

This week, we are peeling back the velvet ropes to give you all the juicy, behind-the-scenes details from last weekend's spectacular Mixer Vixen's Naughty Cocktail Party at the famous V2V Club in Warwickshire.  Find out what happened when the haze machines rolled in and the drinks started pouring. If you weren't there to experience the heat in person, you will definitely want to be next time. Then, things get a little more intimate. Mrs N reads a heartfelt message from a couple looking for guidance on reawakening a woman's libido. Drawing from her own deeply personal journey—and the undeniable, enduring spark of her 19-plus year marriage to Mr N—she reveals her absolute best tips for keeping a fiercely healthy sex drive while navigating the unpredictable twists of the peri-menopausal matrix. It is raw, it is empowering, and it is guaranteed to give you some inspiration to take back to your own bedroom. Finally, your naughty podcasters dive into the tantalizing new YouGov survey revealing Britain's true attitudes towards sex, cheating, and relationships. With almost a quarter of Brits admitting to straying, and fierce debates over whether emotional connections or purely physical encounters are the ultimate betrayal, we dissect the shifting boundaries of modern desire. We even tackle the modern dilemmas—like whether sexting an AI bot or scrolling through dating apps crosses the line. Pour yourself something strong, dim the lights, and let's get into it. (Please note: This adult podcast is strictly for listeners aged 18+ and is for entertainment purposes only.) If you are aged 25 and over you may be able to meet the hosts & Guests of Vanilla to Vixen at the V2V Club. Visit the Club Website for more information. You can contact Mr and Mrs N in the following ways :- V2V Club Website :- V2V.UK Fab Swingers :- naughtycp1 V2V CLUB Email :- naughtycp1@yahoo.com Instagram :- V2V_Club Mr and Mrs N's book "Vanilla To Vixen - My Journey from a Vanilla Life to becoming a Hot Wife" is available now from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Click on the following link. https://amzn.eu/d/2jKocJO Join Mr and Mrs N's Discord Chat Server :- This is a safe and discreet place where you can chat to fellow liberated members involved in the swinging lifestyle also known as the naughty hobby.  Please read and respect our chat server rules before joining our Discord Chat Server. This service is completely free, there are many rooms to enjoy with fellow members of the swinging community. You MUST BE OVER 24 YEARS OLD TO JOIN THIS DISCORD SERVER. Our Discord server is for social swingers chat. It is exclusively for people involved in the swinging lifestyle. it is not a "pick up" or dating site. You must NOT private message other members without asking their permission in the general chat room. All rooms within V2V Discord are moderated. The following link is an invite into the Vanilla To Vixen Discord Chat Server. Join our discord chat by visiting V2V.UK

Welcome back to The Snack – a lighter serving of Girls Gotta Eat. This week, we're talking about: NFL season kicks off US Open + a poop report from Rayna Sydney Sweeney's “sports” commercial + bday post from Scooter Emmy highlights + best and worst dressed Breakdown of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives S5 Dancing With the Stars premieres + partying with the cast The Hyrox pooper Headlines: Macklemore/Ed Sheeran, Aaron Rodgers/Shailene Woodley, Martha Stewart's nudes, Lady Gaga is (a) mother, Mitch McConnell is alive (allegedly) Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Hinge: Download the dating app designed to be deleted. Noom: Start a GLP-1 program for $39 and have it delivered in as little as 7 days at https://noom.com Helix: Get 27% off at https://helixsleep.com/gge. Redken: Visit Ulta Beauty to shop Redken Acidic Grow Full System online and start building your healthiest looking hair routine. Lululemon: Get new styles from the fall collection and free returns at https://lululemon.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap!  Dancing With The Stars is BACK and to celebrate, Dylan Efron is too! He stops by to give his predictions on the season. Meanwhile, Sydney Sweeney made an ad, RHONY left us with questions, and Mikayla left The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives, leading to the question… will MomTok be able to survive this one? Plus, star of Netflix's new film Best Of The Best, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, stops by to tell us about her internet icks, favorite games to stream on Twitch and her love of Channing Tatum. You won't want to miss it! "These women actually really do stand for their sisterhood…but we don't really get to see that…"   Nick is on Substack! Subscribe here: https://nickviall.substack.com/subscribe  HEY! YOU! DO YOU NEED DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE?  Email asknick@theviallfiles.com and be a part of future Ask Nick episodes! Want ad free episodes and incredible bonus content?  Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/    Subscribe to The ENVY Media Newsletter Today: https://www.viallfiles.com/newsletter  To Order Nick's Book and/or learn more about the show, go to: https://viallfiles.com   THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Bilt: Find the card that fits your lifestyle and apply today at https://joinbilt.com/viall  Upwork: Visit https://upwork.com right now and post your job for free. Caraway: Visit https://carawayhome.com/VF10 or use code VF10 at checkout to take an additional 10% off your next purchase.  Fatty15: Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to https://fatty15.com/viall and using code VIALL at checkout. To advertise on this podcast please email: ad-sales@libsyn.com or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles   Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 2:59 - Jimmy's Ex Question 10:25 - Mormon Wives Recap 20:03 - Sydney Sweeney Ad Controversy 25:08 - RHONY Recap 34:33 - Dylan Efron Joins 1:00:41 - Maitreyi Joins 1:17:24 - Outro Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @nataliejoy @maitreyiramakrishnan @dylanefron @ciaracrobinson @jsotos1 @justinkaphillips @baybaeee

Season 5 of “SLOMW” ends abruptly, after an on-camera revelation that Dakota's friend has called CPS to report Taylor. But it's not entirely out of the blue. The last two episodes contain ample signs that Taylor and Dakota's toxic pattern is escalating dangerously. Meanwhile, Jen is trying to get her “pink back” by becoming a musician and returning to the Mormon fold, Jessi and Jordan throw a housewarming brunch that becomes a de facto divorce brunch, and Mayci and Mikayla have reached their wits' end with the Taylor-Dakota situation. Annemarie Navar-Gill joins again to finish our discussion of this truncated season – and the path ahead for Taylor and the show, which has chosen to keep her on the cast.

Listen if you want to…. We’re calling a red flag on the Dancing with the Star Premiere, do the ladies have an advantage? How are we supposed to root for the stars with dance experience, biggest improvement, maybe… maybe not? It’s officially the age of older shirtless men, so who bared it all the best, John Stamos or Tom Cruise? Chris Harrison’s new dating show is giving The Bachelor a run for its money. Superman actor David Corenswet is trading in his cape for a football uniform for his next film and we are here for it!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Listen if you want to…. We’re calling a red flag on the Dancing with the Star Premiere, do the ladies have an advantage? How are we supposed to root for the stars with dance experience, biggest improvement, maybe… maybe not? It’s officially the age of older shirtless men, so who bared it all the best, John Stamos or Tom Cruise? Chris Harrison’s new dating show is giving The Bachelor a run for its money. Superman actor David Corenswet is trading in his cape for a football uniform for his next film and we are here for it!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

BONUS CONTENT + EARLY & AD-FREE EPISODES HEREPOP 3: Could Tom Sandoval be headed to The Valley? I'm weighing in on his potential return to reality TV. Plus, Lady Gaga has reportedly welcomed her first child, and new details emerge in the investigation into Hayden Panettiere's death, including a possible fentanyl-laced pill.DEEP DIVE: Mikayla Matthews is leaving The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, raising questions about the future of MomTok. I'm breaking down Season 5, from Taylor Frankie Paul's complicated relationships, to Jessi and Marciano's unexpected romance. Plus, Whitney Leavitt's next chapter and Jen Affleck's ever-changing priorities.FINAL THOUGHTS: DWTS Premiere Night! Dancing with the Stars is back! I'm sharing my first impressions of the Season 35 premiere, including the voting glitch, low scores, and the contestants who caught my attention. Plus, should anyone really be eliminated on night one? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Colleen has another thought on "Double Lives of Suburban Wives," Jason needs a "Dexter" check-in from Colleen, "Conan O'Brien Must Go" continues to delight, and Colleen is taste-testing "Ride or Die." Plus, Madonna to open the VMAs and "Harry Potter" slows down release! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send us Fan Mail“Let him lead” can sound like a fight waiting to happen, especially if you've seen leadership used as control or heard submission preached like silence. We take a different route. From the jump, we talk about real marriage pain, the slow buildup of offense, and why we refuse to settle for a bad relationship. After 27 years together, we've learned that the marriage doesn't change because one person “wins” a debate. It changes when we get healthier, more honest, and more aligned with God.We dig into biblical marriage roles with clarity: a husband's leadership is servant leadership, modeled after Christ, marked by sacrifice, protection, responsibility, and deep listening. A wife's submission is not weakness, not losing your personality, and never tolerating abuse. It's a willing posture of trust, honor, and partnership within God's design. We also talk to strong, independent women who lead at work but feel burned out leading at home, and to couples stuck bumping heads on every decision, from small daily choices to life-shaping calls.You'll hear practical language for better communication, why public honor strengthens a marriage, how tone can heal or harm, and why prayer changes the atmosphere. We share what it looks like to trust God while your spouse grows and how to create emotional safety so your home becomes a place of strength, not stress. We also mention our book Better Marriage: Perfect Love for Imperfect Couples, built from our wins, our wounds, and the tools that helped us rebuild.If this speaks to you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more couples can find the conversation. What part do you play when it comes to unity at home?GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

Chelsea Devantez, author, director and host of Glamorous Trash, joins Kate to discuss Season 5 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Hulu's reality series about the Utah influencers behind MomTok. They examine the shortened season, the crisis surrounding Taylor Frankie Paul, the increasingly complicated relationship between friendship and fame, and the deeper questions of faith, marriage, female agency and control at the heart of the show. Reality Life with Kate Casey What to Watch List: https://katecasey.substack.com Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/katecaseyca Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itskatecasey?lang=en Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/113157919338245 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@realitylifewithkatecasey Amazon List: https://www.amazon.com/shop/katecasey X: https://twitter.com/katecasey Vanity Fair Article: https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/story/martha-moxleys-diary Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/katecaseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Double Lives of Suburban Wives, the ladies head to Lake of the Ozarks for what should be a fun girl's trip, Megan vows to be on her best behavior and Emily makes a comment that sets everyone off for reasons unknown! Enjoy!Follow me on social media, find links to merch, Patreon and more here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's that time again! We've got another chaotic season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives to unpack, and I'm breaking it all down from my perspective as a former Mormon wife. We're diving into why Taylor Frankie Paul needs to get off the show, that wild comment from Mayci's older sister, McCall, and the ways Mormon programming played into the end of Layla and Mason's relationship. I'm also sharing my thoughts on the Zac and Jen baby blessing drama and why I think they're still struggling so hard in their untraditional dynamic.   REFERENCES  McCall DaPron dancing video Girlscamp: Homecoming live show tickets ⁠here⁠ Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here, code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

MIKAYLA QUITS SECRET LIVES OF MORMON WIVES! SAY IT AIN'T SO! Another hot topics episode, and it's available EVERYWHERE including ⁠⁠⁠MY NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL⁠! Hot topics for this episode include: the 2026 Emmy Awards, Todd Tucker's new reality show and ridiculous reveals, & cast shake-ups over on the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (Mikayla OUT, Mayci & Layla in limbo, and Taylor Frankie Paul IN)! DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN NOW! Watch the video version of this episode ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠! SPONSORED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠QUINCE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make your bed your favorite place to be this season with Quince! Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/KEN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. *** HEY! Some of you have asked how you can show your appreciation for all the content provided by your mama's favorite Black geek. How about you buy me a beer/coffee?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ***   New episodes of “I Ken Not with Kendrick Tucker” are released weekly!   DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE, RATE, AND REVIEW! I LOVE 5 STARS! EMAIL ME AT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IKENNOTPODCAST@GMAIL.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON THREADS!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Colleen had a salt mishap in the office yesterday, Jason and Holly had their Bids for Kids Ronald McDonald House dinner last night, tomorrow is this year's Project Down and Dirty reveal and we speculate, and a $12,000 late library fee for a 19th century magazine -- and we miss magazines!Wait, casting "The Beverly Hillbillies" with myTalk staff could be an INCREDIBLE Project Down and Dirty, Zsa Zsa Gabor and David Letterman riding through the drive-thru is one of TV's best moments and we take a deep-dive into Zsa Zsa lore, AITA: For telling her friend why she isn't invited? And we call Bea Arthur to convince her that our "Beverly Hillbillies" PD&D idea is great.SCREEN QUEENS: We're all hate-watching "Double Lives of Suburban Wives" at this point, and new taglines for "RHONY." BIG FAT THEATER REVIEW: Colleen saw "Mamma Mia!" at the Orpheum. Plus, let's all scream into the void - it feels good!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Got some sh!t to say?What does it actually mean to date with intention? Do you need to know exactly what you want before you start dating, or is “let's just see where it goes” a perfectly reasonable approach? Marko and Steve get into the messy middle of dating, expectations, communication, and the very real consequences of two people thinking they're having two completely different experiences.Steve also opens up about his experience being on a dating show and what that experience taught him about dating, expectations, and being intentional about what you want from another person. Because when you're literally dating with an audience watching, you might learn a few things about yourself that you weren't expecting.To wrap things up, the guys  tackle the week's Listener Sh!tuation, offering their thoughts and guidance on a real life dilemma from the audience.Support the showSh!t | Leave us a voicemail with your relationship sh!tuation at (903) POD- SHIT.  That's (903) 763-7448.  You can also fill out a Listener Sh!tuation on our website, podrelationshit.com, or email us at relationshitquestions@gmail.com. Visit Us |www.podrelationshit.com for more Relationsh!t content and information about the podcast.Donate | Head over to patreon.com/podrelationshit and start donating today!  Your donations will give you early access to the podcast,  behind-the-scenes interviews with our weekly guests, and merchandise.Rate Us | Go to your favorite podcast directory and give Relationsh!t a 5-Star rating, and a fantastic review!Follow Us | Instagram and Facebook: @podrelationshit

Presented at the 2026 National Convention in Columbus, Ohio.

Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap! Elizabeth Chambers joins the show to discuss Season 2 of her show Toxic, and shares her advice for listeners navigating dangerous relationship dynamics. Meanwhile, we cover the most recent season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, the newest episode of Ultimate Girls Trip, whether Robert Irwin will be the next Bachelor, and more. You won't want to miss it! Nick is on Substack! Subscribe here: https://nickviall.substack.com/subscribe  HEY! YOU! DO YOU NEED DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE? Email asknick@theviallfiles.com and be a part of future Ask Nick episodes! Want ad free episodes and incredible bonus content? Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  Subscribe to The ENVY Media Newsletter Today: https://www.viallfiles.com/newsletter  To Order Nick's Book and/or learn more about the show, go to: https://viallfiles.com   THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Little Spoon: Get 30% off your first online order at https://littlespoon.com/viall with code VIALL. BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/viall  Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://quince.com/viall. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Dose: Ready to give your liver the support it deserves? Head to https://dosedaily.co/viall or enter VIALL to get 35% off your first subscription. To advertise on this podcast please email: ad-sales@libsyn.com or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles   Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @nataliejoy @elizabethchambers @ciaracrobinson @jsotos1 @justinkaphillips @the_mare_bare @baybaeee

PaceCase and BachelorClues break down the 15 biggest takeaways from Season 5 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, a five-episode reality television fever dream that somehow became one of the most important Bachelor documents ever made. From Taylor Frankie Paul's post-Bachelorette dark period and the increasingly blurred line between MomTok and Bachelor Nation to Dakota, Whitney, Jen, Mikayla, Layla, Mason and the most complicit reality TV production imaginable, we analyze the gameplay, production manipulation, fame strategy and absolute SLAM packed into the season—and what it all means for Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 6 and the future of The Bachelor.Subscribe to Game of Roses on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/gameofrosesPatreon: https://patreon.com/gameofrosesMerch: https://gameofroses.orgListen on Apple Podcasts: http://bit.ly/gameofrosesListen on Spotify: http://bit.ly/spotifygameofroses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back in March, when Taylor Frankie Paul's season of “The Bachelorette” was yanked just days before premiering, cameras were rolling for season five of her original reality show: “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.” Production was ultimately paused, but season five wasn't canceled – and all five episodes of the abbreviated season dropped last week. Annemarie Navar-Gill (the cohost of Bachelor in Retrospect) joined for a discussion of episodes 1-3, including a conversation about why this season aired to begin with, whether that was the right decision, and what it means for “The Bachelor” franchise that this season includes so many spoilers – and so much post-show drama that punctures the franchise's fantasy brand.

Taylor is back from The Bachelorette engaged but not pregnant! We gotta celebrate the small wins guys… Sponsors: Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/rose  #rulapod Explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of ALL types from Bask and Lather. Go to ⁠baskandlather.com⁠ and use code ROSE for 20% off. CONNECT WITH US: ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Twitter⁠ | ⁠Facebook⁠ | ⁠TikTok⁠ | The password for our Facebook Group is: Proud Member of the Rose Garden EMAIL: ⁠2blackgirls1rose@gmail.com⁠ Follow Natasha's Substack The Nite Owl: ⁠theniteowl.substack.com⁠ Follow Justine for beauty content: ⁠@justlydiak⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In episode 4 of season 5 of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Jen attempts to get apologies from Whitney and Zac, Layla and Mason break up and a fight between Mayci, Mikyala and Taylor starts to brew!Follow me on social media, find links to merch, Patreon and more here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Girl...it's dark. Real dark. Follow me on social media, find links to merch, Patreon and more here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you hate reality TV, this book is for you. If you love it, it is also for you!! Chelsea welcomes back 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose hosts Justine Kay and Natasha Scott-Reichel to do our first-ever fiction book club on the reality show-inspired novel “The Compound” by Aisling Rawl. They unpack the haunting similarities to “Love Island,” what the dark parts of reality TV reflect about our lives today, and why the main character is almost impossible to cast (but send us your suggestions!). Plus: Why we miss monoculture and why Chelsea just can't quit “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.” A content warning: This episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including disordered eating. Take care while listening, and find helpful resources here. Contact us or send us your voice notes: hello@glamoroustrash.com Follow Chelsea: Instagram @chelseadevantez Join the cookie community: Become a member of the Patreon Thank you to our sponsors: Shopify - Start your free trial at shopify.com/glamorous. Leesa Mattresses - Go to Leesa.com for 25% off select mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code GLAMOROUS. Quince  - Go to quince.com/glamorous for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.  Thrive Causemetics - Get 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/glamorous. Show Notes: Dringo! Card Glamorous Trash Candle Link Barely Any Gen Zers Want to Be Influencers - Cosmopolitan The Marilyn Frye quote Chelsea reads in the episode: “To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men.” Where to find our guests:  Justine Kay and Natasha Scott-Reichel Listen to 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose on Apple Podcasts Patreon TikTok  Instagram YouTube *** Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

EMMYS: Perhaps the most cringe moments of TV in years, what we loved, and what could have needed some work. Jason and Colleen binged "Roast My Rental" hosted by Leslie Jones, and a "Double Lives of Suburban Wives" tease. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Taylor returns from filming The Bachelorette and runs straight into Dakota's arms. Tensions are running high between Whitney and Jen. Will MomTok survive?Click on link below to check out the extra content on our Patreon, including four bonus episodes every month covering pop culture hot topics and true crime stories plus a look into our personal lives plus all regular episodes ad free.PatreonIf you enjoy our content please SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and give us a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts.We are on Instagram and TikTok @psychlegalpopEmail: psychlegalpoppodcast@gmail.com#secretlivesofmormonwives #secretlivesofmormomwivesseason5 #hulu #taylorfrankiepaul #thebachelorette #momtok #psychology #attorney #therapist #law #lawyer #popculture #popularculture Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 5 Recap (30:06) 2. Videos of KJ Biermann, 15, having sex with underage family member found on phone, prosecutor claims (Page Six) (58:38) 3. Lady Gaga welcomes first baby with fiancé Michael Polansky (Page Six) (1:04:51) 4. Meghan Markle Shares First Video Since Returning to the U.K. with Prince Harry, and Archie Has an Accent! (PEOPLE) (1:11:33) 5. ‘The Family Stone' Sequel Set At Searchlight With Claire Danes, Rachel McAdams, Sarah Jessica Parker & Many More Returning (Deadline) (1:18:04) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Lean In⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FALL TOUR TICKETS > barstoolsports.com/events/justbetweenustour (00:00-14:30). Aaron Rodgers blasts Shailene Woodley in bizarre interview (16:57-27:30). It's the year of Robert Pattinson (27:31-34:41). MGK & Dakota Johnson spotted out together (34:42-37:54). Lady Gaga welcomes first baby with fiancé Michael Polansky (37:55-40:16). Weekly Watch Report: The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Chad Powers, Lanterns + more! (41:22-1:15:48). CITO LINKS > barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

Juliet and Callie break down Season 5 of 'SLOMW,' including Taylor Frankie Paul and the reasoning behind ABC's cancellation of a full season of 'The Bachelorette' (13:00).Hosts: Juliet Litman and Callie CurryProducer: Remy Hernandez and Michael Szokoli Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In episode 3 of season 5 of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Jen's jealousy for Whitney's success grows, Taylor sneaks Ben to NYC, Layla deals with having a money grubbing boyfriend and more!Follow me on social media, find links to merch, Patreon and more here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We discuss some upcoming court dates for certain cast members of the Valley and Vanderpump Rules, Stassi's trip and her show vs. Alix Earle's show, Kyle Cook's Metamucil recommendation and hen we get into the latest spicy episode of Double Lives of Suburban Wives where Emily feels outcast from the mean girls clique, Macy is afraid of being outted in the Ozarks, TSA clocks Heather's 5 dildos in her bag and Bre talks about her husband's betrayal.Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at www.BollAndBranch.com/pumpers with code pumpers. That's www.BollAndBranch.com/pumpers code pumpers to unlock 15% off. Exclusions apply.Ready to reach your goals? Visit www.forhers.com/vanderpump to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. www.forhers.com/vanderpumpFind the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to www.Quince.com/vprGet free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's Quince.com/vprFor bonus content, please join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/vanderpumprulespartyThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Magellan AI - https://docsend.com/view/5vdvbdx7cr4tikmyClaritas - https://claritas.com/privacy-legalPodscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

TAYLOR FRANKIE PAUL HAS LOST HER MIND, AND MIKAYLA SAID SHE'LL HELP HER FIND IT! I'm wrapping up my conversation about the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season FIVE by talking episodes 4-5! Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota Mortensen are being hailed as the Romeo & Juliet of the TikTok era, and that's... that's certainly something! Layla officially DROPPED Mason, Mikayla & Mayci battled it out with Taylor (and weirdly enough JEN) and did not back down, Whitney continues to stun on Broadway, and the men... are the same as usual (derogatory)! DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN NOW! Watch the video version of this episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! SPONSORED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠QUINCE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make your bed your favorite place to be this season with Quince! Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/KEN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. *** HEY! Some of you have asked how you can show your appreciation for all the content provided by your mama's favorite Black geek. How about you buy me a beer/coffee?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ***   New episodes of “I Ken Not with Kendrick Tucker” are released weekly!   DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE, RATE, AND REVIEW! I LOVE 5 STARS! EMAIL ME AT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IKENNOTPODCAST@GMAIL.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON THREADS!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Go to https://www.square.com/go/dudes to get up to $200 OFF Square hardware when you sign up! Follow Tim on IG: @timchantarangsu Follow David on IG: @davidsocomedy Follow Robyn on IG: @robynlynncouch Check out Goodie Brand at https://www.GoodieBrand.com Check out Tim's Patreon for exclusive content at https://www.patreon.com/timchantarangsu If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://dudesbehindthefoods.supercast.com/ To watch the Dudes Behind the Foods podcast on YouTube go to: www.youtube.com/timothy Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/DudesBehindtheFoodsPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Taylor Frankie Paul was supposed to be the Bachelorette. Then her baby daddy released a two-year-old video to TMZ right before premiere and blew up her life, her career, and apparently the entire Bachelor franchise with it. We talk about why Dakota is the villain nobody's holding accountable, why the internet keeps punishing the woman, and why ABC might actually be the most culpable party in this whole mess. Also: Chelsea's roommate threatened to throw her off the balcony, Lindsay had a win at work, and we discuss the celibacy scale (it's not what you think). Two dumb girls. Sometimes smart. Always hilarious.****This episode touches on domestic violence in real life and in the headlines. If anything we said hit close to home, you're not alone.National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | thehotline.orgText START to 88788 | Chat available 24/7**Originally aired 3/23/2026**Send us a textSupport the showLike, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.Connect with Honestly Smartlesshonestlysmartless.comIG: @honestlysmartlessTikTok: @honestlysmartlessChelsea's IG: @chelsea_turanoLindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehrYouTube:  Honestly Smartless

The new season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has arrived—and somehow, the drama is even messier. I'm sharing my thoughts on Taylor Frankie Paul and a truly unbelievable dumpster-fire storyline that may leave viewers with more questions than answers. Plus, we're covering the escalating trade war with Canada, how it could affect American consumers, and the latest major updates from the war in Iran. It's reality-TV chaos, economic turmoil and global conflict—all packed into today's morning edition of The Rush Hour!

We finish Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 5 and dive into all the heated moments in the last few episodes from Taylor's meltdown, NDA breaking, and Boy Crazy life to Dakota leaking videos to TMZ (allegedly) , to Jen's singing debut with Pink Back, to Layla's breakup and the mission to get the Cartier ring back from the cringy dude on Cameo! Speaking of CRINGE , part way through we sidetrack a little on the latest Jax and LoriK love story, what a fairytale.Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to www.Quince.com/vprGet free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's Quince.com/vprReady to reach your goals? Visit www.forhers.com/vanderpump to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. www.forhers.com/vanderpumpUpgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at www.BollAndBranch.com/pumpers with code pumpers. That's www.BollAndBranch.com/pumpers code pumpers to unlock 15% off. Exclusions apply.For bonus content, please join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/vanderpumprulespartyThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Magellan AI - https://docsend.com/view/5vdvbdx7cr4tikmyClaritas - https://claritas.com/privacy-legalPodscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

SOMEBODY GET TAYLOR OUT THAT TUB AND ON THE LADY'S COUCH! The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives are BACK for season FIVE, and Taylor Frankie Paul got this man off of TikTok and invited him into the bathtub! Thank God for Mikayla and Mayci! Layla has lots of (financial) issues in her relationship with Mason, Whitney is on Broadway, and Jen is there to... support her?! And Jessi... is fresh off of the surgeon's table... again. DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN NOW! Watch the video version of this episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠! SPONSORED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠QUINCE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make your bed your favorite place to be this season with Quince! Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/KEN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. *** HEY! Some of you have asked how you can show your appreciation for all the content provided by your mama's favorite Black geek. How about you buy me a beer/coffee?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ***   New episodes of “I Ken Not with Kendrick Tucker” are released weekly!   DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE, RATE, AND REVIEW! I LOVE 5 STARS! EMAIL ME AT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IKENNOTPODCAST@GMAIL.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON THREADS!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 5 of SLOMW exposed the flaws in their 2 seasons-a-year system. All cast members get a producer credit, which I think is because they use so many of their social media clips in the actual episodes. FOR THE FULL EPISODE - Join the Patreon ⁠https://www.patreon.com/shesspeaking⁠ Join the Very VIP https://www.youtube.com/@shesspeakingwithemilyhanks/membership  SPONSOR: Oak Essentials Use code SHESPEAKS at https://oakessentials.com to get 15% off your first purchase! #OakEssentials #ad SPONSOR: Quince Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://quince.com/shespeaks for free shipping on and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. SPONSOR: Tumble Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping at https://tumbleliving.com/SHESPEAKS  SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL -  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxspMsBruMQjN265ZGNoV1A BUY ME A COFFEE - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/shesspeaking FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL: @shesspeakingwithemilyhanks Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shesspeakingwithemilyhanks Threads - https://www.threads.net/@shesspeakingwithemilyhanks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Recapping episode 2 of season 5 of SLOMW!Follow me on social media, find links to merch, Patreon and more here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MY YOUTUBE GOT THIS EPISODE 24 HOURS EARLY! The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives are BACK for season FIVE, and BOY are we off to the races! Taylor Frankie Paul got engaged on the Bachelorette and immediately cheated with Dakota WHILE ADMITTING to be in love with guitar hero BEN from TikTok! Layla and Miranda are wondering if they're still at odds with Taylor, Chase's arrest is making waves throughout Utah, Whitney is THRIVING in abundance, and so much more. And that's just EPISODE ONE!! DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN NOW! Watch the video version of this episode ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠! SPONSORED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠QUINCE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make your bed your favorite place to be this season with Quince! Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/KEN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. *** HEY! Some of you have asked how you can show your appreciation for all the content provided by your mama's favorite Black geek. How about you buy me a beer/coffee?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ***   New episodes of “I Ken Not with Kendrick Tucker” are released weekly!   DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE, RATE, AND REVIEW! I LOVE 5 STARS! EMAIL ME AT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IKENNOTPODCAST@GMAIL.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW ME ON THREADS!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bobby wants to know if the US collapsed, and you can’t do Canada or Mexico, who do you take as your new country? Bobby wants to know if Amy would do a provocative ad like Syndey Sweeny if paid $5 Million dollars? We got a sad update on the Pop-A-Shot machine that was supposed to be delivered to Raymundo in the studio. Amy has a theory on a suspicious smell in the building, and she also wants to know if the guys would have an issue if their wives had a male trainer. Lunchbox is upset that he was not offered tickets to a big concert happening in town tomorrow night. Bobby sets him straight on why he shouldn’t feel bad and should stop demanding tickets. Lunchbox celebrates the fact that our company pool party got cancelled after they didn’t allow kids.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the premiere of season 5 of SLOMW and surprise, it's still very messy! Enjoy!Follow me on social media, find links to merch, Patreon and more here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I talk to two of the stars of Hulu's The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I speak to Jen Affleck, who is married to Ben Affleck's cousin and Demi Engemann. These young Moms from Moms of TikTok tell all. From getting married young, divorcing, swinging - all while keeping the Mormon faith. The behind-the-scenes of being a TikTok influencer and where jealousy can come into play. This is a juicy one. -Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/9l268n36 #CashAppPod  — Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa. Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. -Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://quince.com/juicy   -Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you visit https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code JUICYSCOOP.  -If you have an iPhone, head to https://ladder.fit/JUICYSCOOP and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use my link and get a free 7-day trial with NO credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join.  -Go to https://SMILESET.com/juicyscoop to get an additional 35 percent discount and get started Subscribe to my new show Juicy Crimes!: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/juicycrimes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stand Up Tickets and info: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://heathermcdonald.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/cw/juicyscoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch the Juicy Scoop On YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://juicyscoopshop.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopTZFUvAeokrJJ6dQ5wuAW1T3nssO6pHk47u7KymJUBtBgKCvfX⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HeatherMcDonaldOfficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices