Podcasts about Stonewalling

Welcome back to a special joint episode of The Evolved Caveman andLove Isn't Enough podcasts, where your favorite therapist power couple,Dr. John and Joree, lovingly drag your toxic relationship habits into thedaylight. This week? We're tackling the last two horsemen of your relationalapocalypse: Contempt and Stonewalling. (Because your love life wasn'talready teetering on the edge after Criticism and Defensiveness lastweek.)First up: Contempt — the "I'm better than you" flavor of loathing that turnsevery dishwasher squabble into a power play. It's got everything: eye-rolls,sneers, and the emotional subtlety of a flamethrower. According to theGottmans, contempt is basically the kiss of death. Spot it in the first 5minutes of a fight? That relationship's got the lifespan of a mayfly (that is,breakup is around the corner!).Then there's Stonewalling, the cold shoulder's evil twin. It's when onepartner shuts down, checks out, and basically becomes a decorative plantduring conflict. Spoiler: that's not sexy. Or helpful. Or sustainable. It's also aharbinger of breakup.John and Joree keep it real by admitting they used to suck at this stuff too.But they've done the work — and now they're here to help you recognizethese behaviors before your relationship flatlines.So if you're tired of feeling unheard, judged, or like you're arguing with abrick wall (or *being* one), tune in. You might cringe a little, but hey —growth isn't supposed to be comfy.Wanna Climb Higher Up The Happiness Hill ? Here's Where To Begin YourAscent:�� For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which hasover 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop.�� Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executivecoach in the San Francisco Bay Area:�� GuideToSelf.com�� The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier,safer love life:��️ Love Isn't Enough Podcast�� For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing to heal relationships,visit their top couples counseling site:��  LoveIsntEnough.net��️ Straight talk on evolution, masculinity & growth on the best podcast for men:�� TheEvolvedCaveman.com�� Joree's expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation from the besttherapist for women near you:�� JoreeRose.com�� For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who arestuck in their lives, visit her site at�� MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com�� The best podcast for women who seek to get unstuck in live and make thenext 30 years better than the last 30:��️ Journey Forward with Joree Rose Podcast

I've never highlighted a book as much as They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship.  It's my favorite book in 2025! Watch the Video Interview Author Dr. Isabelle Morley gives us a timely book that rejects the reckless proliferation of the following terms:  Sociopath Psychopath Love bomb Narcissist Boundaries Borderline Toxic Gaslighting Who is Dr. Isabelle Morley? Dr. Morley is not a chronic gaslighter trying to convince the world that she doesn't gaslight by writing a book about it. Here's her resume: Author of Navigating Intimacy and They're Not Gaslighting You Co-host of the podcast Romcom Rescue Contributor to Psychology Today Advisory Board Member of the Keepler app Founding Board Member of UCAN Member of the American Psychological Association Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) The Gottman Method – Completed Levels 1 and 2 Relational Life Therapy – Completed Level 1 PsyD in Clinical Psychology from William James College, 2015 Doctoral project researching hookup culture's impact on relationship formation, 2015 Master's in Professional Psychology from William James College, 2013 Bachelor of Arts from Tufts University, 2011 My Fatima Story I dated a woman for two years. Let's call her Fatima. In the second half of our relationship, Fatima bombarded me with many of the highly charged and often misused words listed above. After she dumped me the fifth and final time, I finally pushed back on her barrage of accusations. I said to her, “So, you truly believe I'm a narcissist? Let's look up the clinical definition of a narcissist and see how I stack up.” She agreed. Perplexity wrote: To be clinically considered as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) according to the DSM-5, an individual must exhibit at least five out of nine specific characteristics. These characteristics, as summarized by the acronym “SPECIAL ME,” include: Sense of self-importance Exaggerating achievements and expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements. Preoccupation Being preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Entitled Having unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations. Can only be around people who are important or special Believing that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). Interpersonally exploitative Taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Arrogant Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Lack empathy Being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Must be admired Requiring excessive admiration. Envious Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them. These symptoms must be pervasive, apparent in various social situations, and consistently rigid over time. A qualified healthcare professional typically diagnoses NPD through a clinical interview. The traits should also substantially differ from social norms. I asked her how many of these nine characteristics I exhibited consistently, pervasively, and in many social situations. She agreed that I was nowhere near five of the nine. Admittedly, I sometimes exhibited some of these nine characteristics in my intimate relationship with Fatima. I'm certainly guilty of that. However, to qualify as a true narcissist, you must display at least five of these nine characteristics often and with most people, not just your partner. To her credit, my ex-girlfriend sheepishly backed down from that accusation, saying, “You're right, Francis, you're not a narcissist.” Later, I would educate her (or, as she would say, “mansplain”) about another of her favorite words: gaslighting. I mansplained by sending her a video clip of renowned couples therapist Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, who explained why standard disagreements and having different perspectives aren't gaslighting. Soon after explaining that, Mrs. Gottman explains why, in some ways, “everybody is narcissistic.” Watch 6 minutes from 1:35:30 to 1:41:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kPmiV0B34&t=5730s After listening to an expert define gaslighting, Fatima apologized for incorrectly using the term. This is what I loved about Fatima: she wouldn't stubbornly cling to her position when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. This is a rare trait I cherish. Narcissists and sociopaths are about 1% of the population, so it's highly unlikely that all your exes are narcissists and sociopaths. Still, Fatima flung other popular, misused terms at me. She loved talking about “boundaries” and “red flags.” According to Dr. Morley, my ex “weaponized therapy speak.”   Dr. Morley writes, “It's not a new phenomenon for people to use therapy terms casually, even flippantly, to describe themselves or other people. How long have we referred to someone as a ‘psycho' when they're acting irrationally or being mean?” Although weaponized therapy speak isn't new, it's ubiquitous nowadays. Dr. Morley's book sounds the alarm that it's out of control and dangerous. Three types of people would benefit from Dr. Morley's book: People like Fatima: Does someone you know tend to denigrate people using therapy speak? Are they intelligent, rational, and open-minded like Fatima? If so, they must read this book to recalibrate how they use these powerful words. People like me: Are you (or someone you know) accused of being a psychopath, a gaslighter, or a person with OCD? Actual victims: The explosion of use of these powerful words has diluted their meaning. As a result, the real victims of narcissists and sociopaths are now belittled. Their true suffering is minimized when every other person has a sociopath in their life. Their grievances are severe. Let's not equate our relationship problems with their terror. I'll list some of my favorite chapter titles, which will give you a flavor of the book's message: Chapter 4: Are They Gaslighting You, or Do They Just Disagree? Chapter 5: Do They Have OCD, or Are They Just Particular? Chapter 6: Is It a Red Flag, or Are They Just Imperfect? Chapter 7: Are They a Narcissist, or Did They Just Hurt Your Feelings? Chapter 9: Are They a Sociopath, or Do They Just Like You Less Than you Like Them? Chapter 11: Did They Violate Your Boundaries, or Did They Just Not Know How You Felt? I will quote extensively to encourage everyone to buy Dr. Mosley's book. Most quotations are self-explanatory, but sometimes I will offer personal commentary. Excerpts The trend of weaponized therapy speak marks something very different. These days, clinical words are wielded, sincerely and self-righteously, to lay unilateral blame on one person in a relationship while excusing the other from any wrongdoing. ========== Many times, we use these words as protective measures to help us avoid abusive partners and reduce our risk of “wasting” time or emotional energy on family or friends who don't deserve it. But using these terms can also absolve people from taking responsibility for their actions in their relationships. They can say, “I had to do that because of my obsessive-compulsive disorder” or “We didn't work out because she's a narcissist,” instead of doing the hard work of seeing their part in the problem and addressing the issues behind it. As a couples therapist, I'm particularly concerned with how the enthusiastic but inaccurate embrace of clinical terminology has made it harder to sustain healthy romantic attachments. With Fatima, our relationship woes were always my fault because I crossed her “boundaries” and I was a “narcissist.” If I disagreed, I was “gaslighting” her. Or I was being “defensive” instead of apologizing. And when I apologized, I did so incorrectly because I offered excuses after saying I'm sorry (she was right about that). The point is that she used weaponized therapy speak to demonize me, alleviating herself from the burden of considering that perhaps she shared some of the responsibility for our woes. ========== Their friend doesn't agree with their warped view of an event or their disproportionate reaction? The friend is an empathy-lacking narcissist who is actively gaslighting them. ========== In one memorable session of mine, a client managed to accuse their partner of narcissism, gaslighting, love bombing, blaming the victim, lacking accountability, having no empathy, and being generally abusive, manipulative, and toxic . . . all within twenty minutes. Although Fatima and I went to couples therapy, I don't remember Dr. Mosley being our facilitator, but that sure sounds like Fatima! LOL! ========== I'm certified in emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT), which is a type of couples therapy based on attachment theory. ========== For example, if you feel like a failure for letting your partner down, you might immediately minimize your partner's feelings and tell them they shouldn't react so strongly to such a small issue. (For anyone wondering, this isn't gaslighting.) That makes them feel unheard and unimportant, so they get even more upset, which makes you dismiss their reaction as dramatic, and round and round it goes. Welcome to my world with Fatima! ========== You could claim your partner is toxic and borderline because they're emotionally volatile and unforgiving. You could say their feelings are disproportionate to the problem, and their verbal assault is bordering on abusive. But your partner could say that you are a narcissist who is gaslighting them by refusing to acknowledge their feelings, showing no empathy for the distress your tardiness caused, and shifting the blame to them (just like a narcissist would!). You'd both be wrong, of course, but you can see how these conclusions could happen. ========== Weaponized therapy speak is our attempt to understand people and situations in our lives, yes, but it is also a strategy to avoid responsibility. It puts the blame solely on the other person and allows us to ignore our part. ========== However, the vast majority of partners and friends are not sociopaths, narcissists, or abusers. They're just flawed. They're insecure, demanding, controlling, emotional, or any number of adjectives, but these traits alone aren't pathological. ========== But doing such things now and then in our relational histories, or doing them often in just one relationship, doesn't mean we have a personality disorder. These diagnoses are reserved for people who exhibit a persistent pattern of maladaptive behaviors in most or all of their close relationships. ========== I wasn't an abusive partner. I was a messy newcomer to relationships, as we usually are in our teens and twenties, trying my best to navigate my feelings while following bad examples from television and making plenty of other blunders along the way. Stonewalling was immature and an unhelpful way of coping, but it wasn't abuse. ========== If we're looking for a partner who will always do the right thing, even in the hardest moments, we're only setting ourselves up for disappointment. As I mentioned before, really good people can behave really badly. ========== If we don't know the difference between abusive behavior and normal problematic behavior, we're at risk for either accepting abuse (thinking that it's just a hard time) or, alternatively, throwing away a perfectly good relationship because we can't accept any flaws or mistakes. Alas, Fatima threw away a perfectly good relationship. I was her second boyfriend. Her lack of experience made her underappreciate what we had. She'll figure it out with the next guy. ========== Disagreeing with someone, thinking your loved one is objectively wrong, arguing about what really happened and what was actually said, trying to find your way to the one and only “truth”—these are things that most people do. They are not helpful or effective, but they also are not gaslighting. ========== “What? I didn't say yes to seeing it, Cece. I said yes to finding houses we both liked and visiting them. Sometimes you just hear what you want to and then get mad at me when you realize it's not what I actually said,” Meg answers. “Stop gaslighting me! Don't tell me what happened. I remember exactly what you said! You told me yes to this open house and then changed your mind, and I'm upset about it. I'm allowed to be upset about it; don't invalidate my feelings!” Cece says, her frustration growing. Meg feels surprised and nervous. She didn't think she was gaslighting Cece, which is exactly what she says. “I didn't mean to gaslight you. I just remember this differently. I don't remember saying I would go to this open house, so that's why I don't understand why you're this upset.” “Yes, you are gaslighting me because you're trying to convince me that what I clearly remember happening didn't happen. But you can't gaslight me because I'm positive I'm right.” ========== Cece's accusation of gaslighting quickly shut down the conversation, labeling Meg as a terrible partner and allowing Cece to exit the conversation as the victor. ========== I find gaslighting to be one of the harder labels to deal with in my clinical work for three reasons: 1. Accusations of gaslighting are incredibly common. I hear accusations of gaslighting at least once a week, and yet it's only been accurate about five times in my entire clinical career. Boyfriend didn't agree with what time you were meeting for dinner? Gaslighting. Spouse said you didn't tell them to pick up milk on the way home, but you swear you did? Gaslighting. ========== You could say, “I want you to know that I really understand your perspective on this. I see things differently, but your experience is valid, and it makes sense. I'm not trying to convince you that you're wrong and I'm right, and I'm sorry if I came across that way.” WHAT IS VALIDATION? Validation is another word that suffers from frequent misuse. People demand validation, but what they're really asking for is agreement. And if someone doesn't agree, they call it toxic. Here's the thing, though: Validation is not the same as agreement. ========== You can disagree in your head but still validate how they feel: “Hey, you're not crazy. I see why you'd feel that way. It makes sense to me. I'd probably feel that way too if I were in your shoes, experiencing our interaction the way you did. I care about your feelings.” ========== “I bet it felt really awful to have me challenge your experience and make you feel like it wasn't right or valid.” I regret I learned this lesson too late with Fatima. I was too slow to validate her feelings. We learn something in every relationship. Ideally, our partner is patient with us as we stumble through the learning process, often repeating the same error until we form a new habit. However, Fatima ran out of patience with me. I couldn't change fast enough for her, even though I was eager to learn and dying to please her. By the time I began to learn about proper validation and apologies, she had given up on me. ========== My husband, Lucas, hates it when lids aren't properly put on jars. You know, when a lid is half on and still loose or haphazardly tightened and askew? I, on the other hand, could not care less. I am the only perpetrator of putting lids on wrong in our house. I barely screw on the top to the pickles, peanut butter, medications, water bottles, or food storage containers. I don't even realize that I do it because I care so little about it. This drives Lucas absolutely crazy. I love this example because it's what I would repeatedly tell Fatima: some habits are hard to break. Dr. Mosley knows her husband hates half-closed jars, but she struggles to comply with his wishes. We're imperfect creatures. ========== Is your partner always leaving a wet towel on the floor after showering? Red flag—they're irresponsible and will expect you to clean up after them. Is your friend bad at texting to let you know when they're behind schedule? Red flag—they're selfish, inconsiderate, and don't value your time. It's all too easy to weaponize this term in a relationship, in hopes that it will shame the other person into changing. ========== People aren't perfect. Individually, we're messy, and in relationships, we're much messier. We all make mistakes, sometimes repeatedly for our entire lives. Instead of labeling all unwanted behaviors as red flags and expecting change or running away altogether, try a new approach: Identify why those behaviors hurt you and share that with your loved one instead. ========== When confronted with the knowledge that we've hurt someone, many of us become defensive. We hate the idea of hurting the person we love and since we usually didn't intend to hurt them, we start explaining why our actions weren't that bad and why they shouldn't feel upset. It comes from a place of inadequacy, self-criticism, and remorse. If the other person responds like this but you can tell they care about your pain, this may be a good time to give them some grace in the form of empathy and time. Wait a few hours or even a few days, then try the conversation again. For every criticism I had about Fatima's behavior, she had 20 criticisms about my behavior. As a result, I had many more opportunities to fall into the trap of becoming defensive. It's so hard to resist. I'm still working on that front. ========== We all have a touch of narcissism, which can get bigger at certain points in life, ========== Conflicts are upsetting, and we've all developed ways of protecting ourselves, whether it's getting loud to be heard or emotionally withdrawing to prevent a panic attack. Underneath these less-than-ideal responses, though, we feel awful. We feel scared, insecure, inadequate, unimportant, and alone. We hate fighting with our loved ones, and we really hate that we've hurt them, especially unknowingly. We're not being defensive because we have a narcissistic belief in our own superiority; we're doing it because we're terrified that the person won't understand us and will see us negatively, so we need to show them our side and explain to them why we aren't to blame. ========== But whether it's an inflated ego, vanity, self-absorption, or just unusually healthy confidence, these traits do not make a narcissist. To have NPD, the person must also require external validation and admiration, and to be seen as superior to others. This is the difference between a big ego and grandiosity. Grandiosity goes several steps beyond confidence—it's a near-delusional sense of importance, where someone exaggerates their achievements and expects others to see them as superior. ========== Some people suck. They're immature, mean, selfish, and unremorseful. Some people don't respect other people in their lives. They lie and they cheat, and they don't care that it hurts others. But they can be all these things and still not be a narcissist. There's a lot of room for people to be awful without meeting the criteria for a personality disorder, and that's because (you guessed it!) people are flawed. Some people feel justified in behaving badly, while others just don't know any better yet. Our growth is messy and not linear. ========== The reality is that anyone who genuinely worries that they are a narcissist, probably isn't. That level of openness and willingness to self-reflect is not typical of a narcissist. Plus, narcissists don't tend to believe or care that they've hurt others, whereas my clients are deeply distressed by the possibility that they've unknowingly caused others pain. ========== As with gaslighting, I have rarely seen people accurately diagnose narcissism. To put it bluntly, I have never seen a client in a couples therapy session call their partner a narcissist and be right. In fact, the person misusing the label usually tends to be more narcissistic and have more therapy work to do than their partner. ========== person involved with a narcissist to accurately identify the disorder because people with NPD are great at making other people think they are the problem. It's an insidious process, and rarely do people realize what's happening until others point it out to them or the narcissist harshly devalues or leaves them. Now, you might be in a relationship with someone who has NPD, but instead of jumping to “narcissist!” it's helpful to use other adjectives and be more specific about your concerns. Saying that a certain behavior was selfish or that a person seems unremorseful is more exact than calling them a narcissist. ========== Love bombing can happen at any point in a relationship, but it's most often seen at the start. ========== Love bombing is also a typical follow-up to fights. ========== Humans are a complicated species. Despite our amazing cognitive capacities and our innate desire to be good (well, most of us anyway), we often cause harm. People act in ways that can damage their relationships, both intentionally and unknowingly, but that doesn't make them sociopaths. In fact, anyone in a close and meaningful relationship will end up hurting the other person and will also end up getting hurt at some point because close relationships inevitably involve a degree of pain, be it disappointment, sadness, anger, or frustration. Even when we're doing our best, we hurt each other. We can't equate normal missteps and hurt with sociopathy. ========== People love to call their exes sociopaths, just like they love calling them narcissists. Dr. Mosley focuses on the term sociopath because it's more popular nowadays than the term psychopath, but they both suffer from misuse and overuse, she says. If your partner (or you) use the term psychopath often, then in the following excerpts, replace the word “sociopath” with “psychopath.” ========== calling someone a sociopath is extreme. You're calling them out as a human who has an underdeveloped (or nonexistent) capacity to be a law-abiding, respectful, moral member of society. And in doing so, you're saying they were the entire problem in your relationship. Unless you were with a person who displayed a variety of extreme behaviors that qualify as ASPD, that conclusion isn't fair, accurate, or serving you. Again, you're missing out on the opportunity to reflect on your part in the problem, examine how you could have been more effective in the relationship, and identify how you can change for the better in your next relationship. If you label your ex a sociopath and call it a day, you're cutting yourself short. ========== Let the record show that I have never seen someone use the term sociopath correctly in their relationship. ========== some boundaries are universal and uncrossable, but the majority are personal preferences that need to be expressed and, at times, negotiated. Claiming a boundary violation is a quick and easy way to control someone's behavior, and that's why it's important to clarify what this phrase means and how to healthily navigate boundaries in a relationship. Fatima loved to remind me of and enforce her “boundaries.” It was a long list, so I inevitably crossed them, which led to drama. ========== There are some boundaries we all agree are important and should be uncrossable—I call these universal boundaries. Violating universal boundaries, especially when done repeatedly without remorse or regard for the impact it has on the other person, amounts to abuse. ========== The main [universal boundaries] are emotional, physical, sexual, and financial boundaries ========== Outside of these universal, uncrossable boundaries, there are also individual boundaries. Rather than applying to all people, these boundaries are specific to the person and defined by their own preferences and needs. As such, they are flexible, fluid over time, and full of nuance. If they are crossed, it can be uncomfortable, but it isn't necessarily abuse. ========== boundary is a line drawn to ensure safety and autonomy, whereas a preference is something that would make you feel happy but is not integral to your sense of relational security or independence. ========== While a well-adjusted person might start a dialogue about how to negotiate an individual boundary in a way that honors both partners' needs, an abusive person will never consider if their boundary can be shifted or why it might be damaging or significantly limiting to the other person. Instead, they will accuse, blame, and manipulate their partner as their way of keeping that person within their controlling limits. ========== The point is that as we go through life, our boundaries shift. As you can see, this is part of what makes it difficult for people to anticipate or assess boundary violations. If you expect and demand that the people close to you honor your specific boundaries on certain topics, but you're not telling them what the boundaries are or when and how they've changed, you're setting your loved ones up for failure. ========== And again, people unknowingly cross each other's individual boundaries all the time. It's simply inevitable. ========== It will create an unnecessary and unproductive rift. 3. We Mistake Preferences for Boundaries Boundaries protect our needs for safety and security. Preferences promote feelings of happiness, pleasure, or calm. When someone crosses a boundary, it compromises our physical or mental health. When someone disregards a preference, we may feel annoyed, but it doesn't pose a risk to our well-being. ========== You've Been Accused of Violating a Boundary If you're in a close relationship, chances are you're going to violate the other person's boundaries at some point. This is especially likely if the person has not told you what boundaries are important to them. However, you might also be unjustly accused of violating a boundary, perhaps a boundary you didn't know about or a preference masquerading as a boundary, and you'll need to know what to do. ========== I never thought of telling Fatima that she was “borderline.” It helps that I didn't know what the term meant. Dr. Mosley says that a person must have several of the “borderline” characteristics to have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fatima only had one of them, so she did not have BPD. Here's the only BPD trait she exhibited: Stormy, intense, and chaotic relationships: Have relationships that tend to be characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation in which the person with BPD idolizes someone one moment and then vilifies them the next. Because they struggle to see others in a consistent and nuanced way, their relationships go through tumultuous ups and downs, where they desire intense closeness one minute and then reject the person the next. Fatima promised me, “I will love you forever,” “I want to marry you,” “I will be with you until death,” “I'll never leave you,” and other similar extreme promises. Three days later, she would dump me and tell me she never wanted to get back together. Two days later, she apologized and wanted to reunite. Soon, she would be making her over-the-top romantic declarations again. She'd write them and say them repeatedly, not just while making love. Eventually, I'd fuck up again. Instead of collaborating to prevent further fuck ups, Fatima would simply break up with me with little to no discussion. This would naturally make me question her sincerity when she repeatedly made her I-will-be-with-you-forever promises. You might wonder why I was so fucking stupid to reunite with her after she did that a couple of times. Why did I always beg her to reconsider and reunite with me even after we repeated the pattern four times? (The fifth time she dumped me was the last time.) Humans are messy. I expect imperfection. I know my loved one will repeatedly do stupid shit because I sure will. So, I forgave her knee-jerk breakup reaction because I knew she didn't do it out of malice. She did it to protect herself. She was in pain. She thought that pulling the plug would halt the pain. That's reasonable but wrong. That doesn't matter. She's learning, I figured. I need to be patient. I was hopeful we'd break the pattern and learn how to deal with conflict maturely. We didn't. I'm confident she'll figure it out soon, just like I learned from my mistakes with her. ========== If I had to pick one word to describe people with BPD, it would be unstable. Fatima was unstable in a narrow situation: only with one person (me) and only when the shit hit the fan with me. Aside from that, she was highly stable. Hence, it would have been ludicrous if I accused her of having Borderline Personality Disorder. Luckily, I never knew the overused borderline term; even if I did, I wouldn't be tempted to use it on her. ========== Just as with red flags, we all exhibit some toxic behaviors at times. I don't know anyone who has lived a toxic-free existence. Sometimes we go through tough phases where our communication and coping skills are down, and we'll act more toxically than we might normally; this doesn't make us a toxic person. Indeed, many romantic relationships go through toxic episodes, if you will (should we make “toxic episode” a thing?), where people aren't communicating well, are escalating conflicts, and are generally behaving badly. We need to normalize a certain level of temporary or situational toxicity while also specifying what we mean by saying “toxic.” This is the only way we can determine whether the relationship needs help or needs ending. ========== trauma is itself a heavy, often misunderstood word. Its original meaning referenced what we now call “big T” trauma: life-threatening events such as going to war or surviving a car crash. Nowadays, we also talk about “little t” trauma: events that cause significant distress but aren't truly life-threatening, like being bullied in school or having an emotionally inconsistent parent. ========== Avoiding relationships with anyone who triggers hard feelings will mean a very lonely existence. ========== a trauma bond is the connection that survivors feel with their abuser. ========== A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== soldiers aren't trauma bonded after going to war together; they're socially bonded, albeit in an unusually deep way. A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== None of us get to have a happy relationship without hard times and hard work. It's normal and okay to sometimes struggle with the person you're close to or love. When the struggle happens, don't despair. Within the struggle are opportunities to invest in the relationship and grow, individually and together. ========== If you determine your relationship is in a tough spot but not abusive, now's the time for some hard relational work. A good cocktail for working on your relationship is specificity, vulnerability, and commitment. ========== Making a relationship work requires you and your loved ones to self-reflect, take responsibility, and change. This process won't just happen once; it's a constant cycle you'll go through repeatedly over the course of the relationship. You'll both need to look at yourselves, own what you've done wrong or could do better, and work to improve. Nobody is ever finished learning and growing, not individually and certainly not in a relationship. But that's what can be so great about being in a relationship: It's a never-ending opportunity to become a better person. And when you mess up (because trust me, you will), be kind to yourself. As I keep saying, humans are wonderfully imperfect. Even when we know what to do, sometimes we just don't or can't do it. ========== In this world of messy humans, how do you know who will be a good person for you to be with? My answer: Choose someone who wants to keep doing the work with you. There is no perfect person or partner for you, no magical human that won't ever hurt, irritate, enrage, or overwhelm you. Being in close relationships inevitably leads to big, scary feelings at times, so pick someone who wants to get through the dark times with you. Remember that when people are behaving badly in a desperate attempt to connect—not control—they'll be able to look at themselves, recognize the bad behavior, and change. Pick someone who has the willingness to self-reflect and grow, even if it's hard. Someone who will hang in there, even during your worst fights, and ultimately say, “Listen, this is awful, and I don't want to keep arguing like this, but I love you and I want to figure this out with you.” Wow. So well said. And this, in a paragraph, explains where Fatima and I failed. I dislike pointing fingers at my ex when explaining why we broke up. I made 90% of the mistakes in my relationship with Fatima, so I bear most of the responsibility. However, Fatima was the weaker one on one metric: having someone who wants to collaborate to make a beautiful relationship despite the hardships. The evident proof is that she dumped me five times, whereas I never dumped her or even threatened to dump her. I always wanted to use our problems as a chance to learn and improve. Fatima used them as an excuse to quit. She tried. She really did. However, she lacked the commitment Dr. Mosley discussed in that paragraph. Perhaps another man will inspire Fatima to find the strength and courage to bounce back and not throw in the towel. Or maybe she will mature and evolve to a point where she can be with someone less compatible than I was for her. She would often declare, “Francis, we're incompatible.” I'd say, “No, we are compatible; we have incompatibilities. Everyone has incompatibilities. We just need to work through them. If there is a willingness to collaborate, we can solve any incompatibility. The only couples who are truly incompatible are the ones where one or both individuals refuse to budge or learn. We can overcome countless incompatibilities as long as we both want to be together.” ========== We have wounds and scars and bad habits. We rely on ineffective but protective coping mechanisms. We push others away when we're hurt or scared. ========== Everyone behaves badly sometimes. But even then, odds are they're not gaslighting you. Conclusion I'll repeat: They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship is my favorite book in 2025! Buy it! Feedback Leave anonymous audio feedback at SpeakPipe More info You can post comments, ask questions, and sign up for my newsletter at http://wanderlearn.com. If you like this podcast, subscribe and share!  On social media, my username is always FTapon. Connect with me on: Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram TikTok LinkedIn Pinterest Tumblr My Patrons sponsored this show! Claim your monthly reward by becoming a patron at http://Patreon.com/FTapon Rewards start at just $2/month! Affiliate links Get 25% off when you sign up to Trusted Housesitters, a site that helps you find sitters or homes to sit in. Start your podcast with my company, Podbean, and get one month free! In the USA, I recommend trading crypto with Kraken.  Outside the USA, trade crypto with Binance and get 5% off your trading fees! For backpacking gear, buy from Gossamer Gear.

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Research shows that four specific communication behaviors during arguments can predict divorce with 80-90% accuracy, while eliminating these behaviors can dramatically improve marriage success.• The four horsemen of relationship conflict are defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling• Defensiveness deflects blame and responsibility, creating a downward spiral in communication• Criticism attacks a partner's character rather than addressing specific behaviors• Contempt is the most dangerous pattern, involving feelings of superiority toward your partner• Stonewalling occurs when one partner mentally or physically shuts down during conflict• The antidote to stonewalling is taking a purposeful break with the intention to resume later• Taking time to cool down and process emotions leads to more productive conflict resolution• Sometimes sleeping on an issue provides needed perspective, contrary to "don't go to bed angry" advice• Breaking these harmful communication patterns requires recognizing and interrupting them earlyGet our ultimate guide to better communication by visiting marriagehelper.com/smart to access our toolkit on how to communicate effectively, even when your spouse isn't talking to you.If you're struggling in your marriage, don't wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage

Maura Fay, RTÉ reporter

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagle, and Teighlor Polendo explore the concept of stonewalling in relationships. They discuss common misconceptions, Gottman's Four Horsemen, and the damaging effects stonewalling can have on relationships. The conversation includes personal anecdotes, practical advice on how to manage and recognize stonewalling, and effective strategies like planning discussions to avoid emotional flooding. Tune in for insightful tips and real-life experiences to improve your communication and relational dynamics. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts :  Dr. John Gottman, Gottman Institute https://www.gottman.com/ Listen Here: Shut Down Mode Episode #005: https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf Watch and Listen Here: AFAF REWIND "How to Manage Stonewalling" Episode #094: https://youtu.be/lTGfidapgAo

Samantha Ettus is the creator of the Jewsletter and a producer of the new documentary OCTOBER 8 (in U.S. theaters March 14, 2025). She discusses the need to pushback against Jewish "erasure" and biased news. Check out https://jewsletter.substack.com/

The fourth and final of the Gottman “horsemen” is stonewalling-withdrawing and disengaging from the conversation to build a kind of “wall” between you and your partner. This usually comes from physiological overwhelm called “flooding,” where the stonewaller shuts down and chooses to disengage. The antidote to stonewalling is taking time to calm down and re-engaging. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/pZxY1vhhWlU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

AFTERNOON DELIGHT PART 3! How can we build healthier, happier relationships that withstand the test of time? In this episode, we delve into the groundbreaking research of Dr. John Gottman, a pioneer in understanding what makes relationships thrive. We'll explore the infamous 'Four Horsemen' of relationship doom: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. These behaviors can derail even the strongest bonds, and recognizing them is the first step toward fostering a more secure and loving connection. What sets the Gottman Method apart from traditional couples therapy? Unlike many approaches that focus primarily on past traumas, Gottman's method is rooted in extensive empirical research. He has studied thousands of couples to identify specific, measurable behaviors that predict relationship success. Instead of avoiding conflict, Gottman emphasizes constructive conflict resolution, equipping couples with effective communication skills to navigate disagreements positively. We'll introduce the Sound Relationship House Theory, a structured framework that outlines essential levels for strengthening relationships, such as building love maps, nurturing fondness, and creating shared goals. This clear roadmap is unique to the Gottman Method, providing couples with actionable steps toward improvement. Did you know that according to Gottman's research, couples who regularly exhibit the Four Horsemen are 80% more likely to break up? However, couples who practice his techniques experience a 94% success rate in improving their relationship satisfaction! Join us as we share three actionable tips to help you build a stronger foundation: Practice Appreciation – Make it a habit to express gratitude for your partner. Learn to Repair – Develop skills to recognize and address conflicts before they escalate. Foster Emotional Connection – Prioritize meaningful conversations and engage in shared activities. Tune in to discover how understanding and applying Gottman's principles can transform your relationship into a thriving partnership!

In this enlightening episode, with Darren F Magee—a counsellor, psychotherapist, author, and clinical supervisor—to explore the many faces of toxic relationships and the toll they take on our well-being. From the four classic signs of unhealthy dynamics (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) to the subtle rewriting of narratives.Find more information and resources here: http://saradavison.com/Follow me on social media►Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saradavisondivorcecoach/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SaraDavisonDivorceCoachTwitter: https://twitter.com/SDDivorceCoachLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-davison-742b453/

Fox News Contributor Liz Peek discusses her latest article at foxnews.com

The inspector general's office fired off a scorching letter to the state department over the way that they have handled the requests made by the IG as they continue their investigation into America's involvement in Afghanistan. They accuse the state department of ignoring their requests for documents and information and for impeding the overall investigation. (commercial at 11:00)to contact me:bobbycapucci@protonmail.comsource:https://www.politico.com/news/2022/06/22/state-usaid-afghanistan-00041505

(2:00) US Escalates War in Syria - Sides with Al QaedaIt's not just Ukraine, a World War is being waged in Syria (without Congressional debate or approval)A10 Warthog filmed in air support of "moderate rebels"Media is lying to you about who "moderate rebels" really areSyria & Libya - from Jake Sullivan & Hillary Clinton to todayWhy Syria is so important to the Geopolitical Game (to all sides)What is Assad's grand scheme to put Syria at the economic epicenter of the Mideast?Iran, Russia, Turkey, China — what are their objectives in SyriaWhat does US & Israel want?How does this show that none of the nations believe in "Climate Change" or the "solution" of "Net Zero"?(1:00:09) Ukraine's front lines are rapidly collapsingMass desertions, middle aged and elderly women to shore up ranks as USA pressures to continue the fight against Putin to the last UkrainianMark Rutte, disgraced and rejected former PM of Netherlands who tried to replace and starve his own people, is now head of NATO and meets with Trump to continue Ukraine WarMore on the Navy's failed boondoggle littoral ship (Zumwalt class) and it's "all electric drive"(1:22:04) Listener emailsFlock Surveillance systems rolling out globally (public/private partnership to outsource surveillance state) and local government STONEWALLING requests for infoRaw milk in eastern TennesseeFAERS, alternate system to report pharma harmWATCH Redfield's Red Herring of "lab leak".  David Icke has it right - a major misdirection alibiAustralian doctor chokes up talking about cancer increases from vaxDr. William Makis, Canadian oncologist, persecuted by "conservative" Danielle SmithMichigan's legislation to compel doctors' speech and coerce parents into confessing to "child endangerment" if they don't vaccinate their childrenJason Barker on prayer answered for cancer(2:05:54) A new Christmas arrangement of Big Band nostalgia (2:13:25) LIVE comments - why Trump picked Chad Chronister in the first place and remembering Buddy Rich (2:20:58) Deportation, Constitution and the threat of authoritarian precedentsGreat Britain's Great Replacement nearly complete.  Labour PM blames Tories but both parties are partners9th Circuit weighs in on feds vs sanctuary cities issueDemocrats strategy to oppose ranges from "non-commandeering" to active confrontation.Is it all talk like Trump's first term?Both conservatives and libertarians get the costs of illegal immigration wrong.  The true cost is not just dollars and cents, but they can't even get THAT right as they leave out the key financial costWayne Allyn Root surprisingly gets a couple of things right about defusing the Biden border crisis — but he can't help from going over to the "dark side" of authoritarianismIf you would like to support the show and our family please consider subscribing monthly here: SubscribeStar https://www.subscribestar.com/the-david-knight-show Or you can send a donation throughMail: David Knight POB 994 Kodak, TN 37764Zelle: @DavidKnightShow@protonmail.comCash App at: $davidknightshowBTC to: bc1qkuec29hkuye4xse9unh7nptvu3y9qmv24vanh7 Money should have intrinsic value AND transactional privacy: Go to DavidKnight.gold for great deals on physical gold/silver For 10% off Gerald Celente's prescient Trends Journal, go to TrendsJournal.com and enter the code KNIGHTBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-david-knight-show--2653468/support.

(2:00) US Escalates War in Syria - Sides with Al QaedaIt's not just Ukraine, a World War is being waged in Syria (without Congressional debate or approval)A10 Warthog filmed in air support of "moderate rebels"Media is lying to you about who "moderate rebels" really areSyria & Libya - from Jake Sullivan & Hillary Clinton to todayWhy Syria is so important to the Geopolitical Game (to all sides)What is Assad's grand scheme to put Syria at the economic epicenter of the Mideast?Iran, Russia, Turkey, China — what are their objectives in SyriaWhat does US & Israel want?How does this show that none of the nations believe in "Climate Change" or the "solution" of "Net Zero"?(1:00:09) Ukraine's front lines are rapidly collapsingMass desertions, middle aged and elderly women to shore up ranks as USA pressures to continue the fight against Putin to the last UkrainianMark Rutte, disgraced and rejected former PM of Netherlands who tried to replace and starve his own people, is now head of NATO and meets with Trump to continue Ukraine WarMore on the Navy's failed boondoggle littoral ship (Zumwalt class) and it's "all electric drive"(1:22:04) Listener emailsFlock Surveillance systems rolling out globally (public/private partnership to outsource surveillance state) and local government STONEWALLING requests for infoRaw milk in eastern TennesseeFAERS, alternate system to report pharma harmWATCH Redfield's Red Herring of "lab leak".  David Icke has it right - a major misdirection alibiAustralian doctor chokes up talking about cancer increases from vaxDr. William Makis, Canadian oncologist, persecuted by "conservative" Danielle SmithMichigan's legislation to compel doctors' speech and coerce parents into confessing to "child endangerment" if they don't vaccinate their childrenJason Barker on prayer answered for cancer(2:05:54) A new Christmas arrangement of Big Band nostalgia (2:13:25) LIVE comments - why Trump picked Chad Chronister in the first place and remembering Buddy Rich (2:20:58) Deportation, Constitution and the threat of authoritarian precedentsGreat Britain's Great Replacement nearly complete.  Labour PM blames Tories but both parties are partners9th Circuit weighs in on feds vs sanctuary cities issueDemocrats strategy to oppose ranges from "non-commandeering" to active confrontation.Is it all talk like Trump's first term?Both conservatives and libertarians get the costs of illegal immigration wrong.  The true cost is not just dollars and cents, but they can't even get THAT right as they leave out the key financial costWayne Allyn Root surprisingly gets a couple of things right about defusing the Biden border crisis — but he can't help from going over to the "dark side" of authoritarianismIf you would like to support the show and our family please consider subscribing monthly here: SubscribeStar https://www.subscribestar.com/the-david-knight-show Or you can send a donation throughMail: David Knight POB 994 Kodak, TN 37764Zelle: @DavidKnightShow@protonmail.comCash App at: $davidknightshowBTC to: bc1qkuec29hkuye4xse9unh7nptvu3y9qmv24vanh7 Money should have intrinsic value AND transactional privacy: Go to DavidKnight.gold for great deals on physical gold/silver For 10% off Gerald Celente's prescient Trends Journal, go to TrendsJournal.com and enter the code KNIGHTBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-real-david-knight-show--5282736/support.

People may twist the truth, avoid honest communication, or create confusion to control your emotions. It is important to recognize these tactics and protect your peace.

Is your wife giving you the silent treatment? Does it create huge amounts of anxiety and fear or anger in you?In this episode I explain what stonewalling and the silent treatment are, the effect they have on you and your relationship as well as what they are not and how to respond to it confidently.In our coaching, we help men get a powerful new mindset that empowers you to give, love and connect more deeply because you're finally doing that within yourself first. This mindset allows empathy, trust and connection to happen because you're confident in who you're being. We teach skills and knowledge that nobody ever teaches men when we're younger. Skills and knowledge that make you feel confident and in control even when chaos is going on around you. It's amazing what you can achieve when you make yourself a priority. Most men don't.   They are too busy taking care of everyone else.  Too busy minding the store and making the money.   They are focused on the "outside game" of winning life. But their "inside game" of confidence and clarity is suffering badly. You can only improve your inside game with other men. We would love to help you become more calm, more strong emotionally and more confident and happy in who you are as a man. Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men's Live Coaching Roundtable. There's an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization. https://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys2greatmen-live-coaching-roundtable/ If you're facing possible divorce, we have an online course which is specifically for you - Defuse the Divorce Bomb: https://mojopolis.thinkific.com/courses/HDDB-preview?ref=a53950 What if this next year everything changed for you? That's what we want for you brother, We love teaching men these tools - how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs. Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ Steve's book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/straight-talk-tools-for-the-desperate-husband/ We also have a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/ If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ We would be thrilled to help you get there - our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence. You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there - and she doesn't WANT to...trust us on that. Sign up to receive our email newsletters for lots more free tips and advice here: https://archive.aweber.com/stevemain Subscribe to be notified whenever we upload a new video: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC13h36xaBvyTPVAES4-4rXw?sub_confirmation=1 You can watch all our videos here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/video-library/ Or read our blog articles here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/blog/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/goodguys2greatmen-podcast--4650431/support.

A common reaction after an argument is the need for space to cool down and collect one's thoughts. But when the silent treatment is continually given to intentionally shut someone out or hurt them, it becomes stonewalling, a concept identified by John Gottman. Join us as we discuss the dynamics of stonewalling, especially in the context of betrayal trauma and recovery, and the importance of addressing and working through difficult emotions and patterns to build healthier relationships. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media: INSTAGRAM FACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer: Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody's most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Is your wife giving you the silent treatment? Does it create huge amounts of anxiety and fear or anger in you? In this episode I explain what stonewalling and the silent treatment are, the effect they have on you and your relationship as well as what they are not and how to respond to it confidently.In our coaching, we help men get a powerful new mindset that empowers you to give, love and connect more deeply because you're finally doing that within yourself first. This mindset allows empathy, trust and connection to happen because you're confident in who you're being. We teach skills and knowledge that nobody ever teaches men when we're younger. Skills and knowledge that make you feel confident and in control even when chaos is going on around you. It's amazing what you can achieve when you make yourself a priority. Most men don't.   They are too busy taking care of everyone else.  Too busy minding the store and making the money.   They are focused on the "outside game" of winning life. But their "inside game" of confidence and clarity is suffering badly. You can only improve your inside game with other men. We would love to help you become more calm, more strong emotionally and more confident and happy in who you are as a man. Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men's Live Coaching Roundtable. There's an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization. https://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys2greatmen-live-coaching-roundtable/ If you're facing possible divorce, we have an online course which is specifically for you - Defuse the Divorce Bomb: https://mojopolis.thinkific.com/courses/HDDB-preview?ref=a53950 What if this next year everything changed for you? That's what we want for you brother, We love teaching men these tools - how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs. Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ Steve's book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/straight-talk-tools-for-the-desperate-husband/ We also have a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/ If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ We would be thrilled to help you get there - our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence. You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there - and she doesn't WANT to...trust us on that. Sign up to receive our email newsletters for lots more free tips and advice here: https://archive.aweber.com/stevemain Subscribe to be notified whenever we upload a new video: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC13h36xaBvyTPVAES4-4rXw?sub_confirmation=1 You can watch all our videos here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/video-library/ Or read our blog articles here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/blog/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/goodguys2greatmen-podcast--4650431/support.

Send us a textIs it Just the Silent Treatment or Really Rejection? Why Stonewalling is HarmfulSilence occurs for many reasons, but sometimes it's intentionally used as punishment.Rossana Faye joins me in this podcast episode to discuss why stonewalling is so painful. Silence can be weaponized to send powerful messages of rage and rejection.Are you struggling to recognize stonewalling? Maybe your partner is just emotionally overwhelmed. In this week's Podcast Extra, Ro and I discuss the differences between being emotionally flooded and giving someone the silent treatment. Get immediate access to this and other exclusive interviews by subscribing today. substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseDid you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerrymcavoyphdFacebook: @kerrymcavoyphdE-mail: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.Support the show

In this episode, How to Know You're Dealing with a Narcissist: Tell-Tale Signs to Watch Out For, Lisa A. Romano breaks down the emotional rollercoaster of dating a narcissist. She dives into the common signs, like feeling confused, walking on eggshells, and constantly questioning your worth. Stonewalling, verbal abuse, and making you feel worthless are tools of manipulation. The more you understand the signs, the greater your chances of avoiding and surviving this type of predator. And yes, the more empathic, forgiving and agreeable you are the more a target you are for this type of toxic dynamic, so learning about narcissism empowers you! Narcissists are masters of manipulation, charm, and gaslighting, leaving you feeling emotionally drained and disconnected from your authentic self. Tune in to learn how to spot the red flags early, understand the patterns of narcissistic abuse, and protect yourself from further harm.   Embark on the path to conscious awakening, emotional healing, and transformation with Lisa's Conscious Healing Academy, which includes a 3 tier coaching system that assists with one's awakening, emotional intelligence, and mental and emotional mastery.  12 Week Breakthrough Program (Level One - The Awakening) 8 Week Master Your Reality (Level 2 -- Deliberate Creating) Soul School - (Level Three -- Ascending Ego) To learn more, contact Lisa and her team members here; Contact Website Spotify Award Winning Books  Facebook Support Group  

Conflict does not spell doom in the marriage relationship. However, how we do conflict might. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer shares four behaviors that need to be avoided when “working things out” with your spouse. Kaleb explains what they are and how they can be avoided.  Show notes:  Four negative behaviors that spell trouble for marriages and how they can be avoided.  Criticism   Criticism often starts with “You.” “You always...” or “You never...” These statements are personal, labeling and strike at the identity of the other.  To avoid criticism, try using “I” statements. These look inward and communicate your reality and surface the need at hand. “I am disappointed that ...”   Defensiveness   Defensiveness often is provoked by criticism and leads to criticism. It denies and shrugs off the need underlying criticism.  To avoid defensiveness, accept the reality of the other. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict.   Contempt   Contempt is disdain for the other. An inner dialogue that is continually negative. It can grow out of unrelenting criticism over time.  To avoid contempt, friendship needs to be nurtured and grown.  Stonewalling  Stonewalling occurs when the nervous system is so heightened reasoning goes “offline.” Individuals experience a “flooding” of the senses in a way that shuts them down.  To avoid stonewalling, take 20 minutes of body and mental calming.   Note: These negative behaviors have been highlighted from the research work of Dr. John Gottman. 

Stonewalling is one of many dysfunctional dynamics people deal with in their problem relationships. If you are wondering what it is, think of a stone wall. You can't push it or move it and it keeps you from moving forward. Stonewalling shuts down the possibility of resolving problems in your relationship. Watch this video to learn how you can deal with the dysfunctional dynamic of stonewalling. #stonewalling #boundaries #dysfunctionalrelationship #dysfunctionalcommunication   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/dOAeTV6fGdk

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it's a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face. Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.Related resourcesTrouble with self-regulation: What to knowThe Gottman InstituteMichael's website, chicagorelationshipcenter.comTimestamps(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method(12:54) Executive function and conflict(15:22) Time perception and conflict(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling(29:11) Where you can find MichaelTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it's a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face. Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.Related resourcesTrouble with self-regulation: What to knowThe Gottman InstituteMichael's website, chicagorelationshipcenter.comTimestamps(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method(12:54) Executive function and conflict(15:22) Time perception and conflict(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling(29:11) Where you can find MichaelTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Because the FBI and DHS are Stonewalling the Investigation – Dr. Chris Martensen Peak Prosperity   Watch this video at- https://rumble.com/v5foji5-because-the-fbi-and-dhs-are-stonewalling-the-investigation-peak-prosperity.html

More than two months after the first assassination attempt against trump we still don't know the answers to shockingly basic questions.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis reveals that the feds are not cooperating with the Florida investigation into the Trump assassination attempt. Plus, Joe Biden holds a cabinet meeting for the first time in eleven months and Woke or Joke. Visit the Howie Carr Radio Network website to access columns, podcasts, and other exclusive content.

I'm Arroe…  I am a daily writer.  A silent wolf.  I stand on the sidelines and do nothing but watch, listen study then activate.  I call it The Daily Mess.  A chronological walk through an everyday world.  Yes, it's my morning writing.  As a receiver of thoughts and ideas, we as people tend to throw it to the side and deal with it later.  When a subject arrives, I dig in.  It's still keeping a journal!  By doing the research the picture becomes clearer.  This is the Daily Mess… Observations 95 and 96 The word stonewalling has been showing up in a lot of news stories and conversations.  How does stonewalling come into being a foundation or platform? Plus Friday the 13th has always been somewhat of a day to endlessly be aware of.  Does it really have Biblical connections? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/arroe-collins-unplugged-totally-uncut--994165/support.

I'm Arroe…  I am a daily writer.  A silent wolf.  I stand on the sidelines and do nothing but watch, listen study then activate.  I call it The Daily Mess.  A chronological walk through an everyday world.  Yes, it's my morning writing.  As a receiver of thoughts and ideas, we as people tend to throw it to the side and deal with it later.  When a subject arrives, I dig in.  It's still keeping a journal!  By doing the research the picture becomes clearer.  This is the Daily Mess… Observations 95 and 96 The word stonewalling has been showing up in a lot of news stories and conversations.  How does stonewalling come into being a foundation or platform? Plus Friday the 13th has always been somewhat of a day to endlessly be aware of.  Does it really have Biblical connections? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/arroe-collins-like-it-s-live--4113802/support.

There are moments in our relationships where communication breaks down, and things can start to feel overwhelming. In today's episode, we explore a concept from Dr. John Gottman's research that can help explain why. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse represent four harmful communication patterns that, when left unchecked, can lead to the downfall of a marriage. Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling—these destructive behaviors don't just harm the relationship; they destroy connection and intimacy. But there is hope! In this episode, we'll not only discuss these patterns but also explore antidotes to help you turn things around and strengthen your marriage. Podcast Mentions Support this Podcast: Click Here Black Love Doc: Black Love Show John Gottman:  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work The Four Horsemen by The Gottman Institute: The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/ TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/ CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/ Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/blackmarriagetherapy/support

On this episode of #TheFinestUnfiltered John & Eric sit down and discuss CongressWoman Nicole Malliotakis accusing the NYPD & NYC Mayor Adams of ‘stonewalling' request for NYC migrant crime numbers Related Article: https://nypost.com/2024/09/04/us-news/rep-nicole-malliotakis-accuses-nypd-mayor-adams-of-stonewalling-request-for-nyc-migrant-crime-numbers/ Link To Purchase a Coffee Mug https://the-finest-unfiltered-podcast.printify.me/product/10258644 To learn more about us visit us at: Website: https://thefinestunfiltered.com Youtube: https://youtube.com/@TheFinestUnfiltered?si=Y5ZcHqdgVLunTYx9X: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/TheFinestUnfiltered https://www.instagram.com/johndmacari/ https://www.instagram.com/mostcomplainedcop/ X: https://twitter.com/RetiredNYFinest/ https://twitter.com/JohnDMacari https://twitter.com/EricDymCop Rumble: https://rumble.com/user/TheFinestUnfilteredPodcast To learn more about 30 Year (Ret) Colonel Tom Sullivan - Candidate NY State Assembly District 23 visit him at: https://www.sullivanforassembly.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomas-p-sullivan-7648746/ https://www.facebook.com/SullivanforStateAssembly https://x.com/Sully4Assembly https://www.instagram.com/sullivanforstateassembly/ If you are interested in purchasing a Finest Unfiltered T-Shirt please visit https://meyersuniforms.com/265-unfiltered-podcast-tee/ For any financial or investment advice please contact LaidLaw Blue at 888-901-2583 (Blue) or visit them online at https://laidlawwealthmanagement.com/laidlaw-blue/  tell them your friends at #TheFinestUnfiltered sent you. #NYPD #NYC #Crime #Politics #Podcast #policepodcast #Cops #JohnMacari #Eric Dym

In this episode of Can This Be Fixed?, hosts Thais Gibson and Mike Di Zio dive deep into the complexities of attachment styles, offering personal insights and practical advice for anyone navigating relationships. Both former avoidants who have worked hard to become securely attached, Thais and Mike share their own experiences, discussing how they've overcome challenges and what they continue to work on. This episode explores the reactions of fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants after a heated argument and how it is handled by both attachment styles. Thais and Mike also discuss why certain attachment styles may or may not want children and the experiences leading up to those decisions. Whether you're trying to understand yourself or a loved one better, this episode provides valuable tools and perspectives to help you on your path. Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:12 - Viewer Question: Why Don't Avoidants Want To Have Kids? 00:03:01 - Mike Shares His Reasons 00:06:07 - The Support System of Having Children 00:08:36 - Fear of Disempowerment 00:10:36 - Thais Shares from the Fearful Avoidant Perspective 00:13:14 - The Helicopter Parent 00:17:21 - Thais Answers Whether FAs Want Kids 00:19:10 - Shout Out to APs 00:20:01 - HelloFresh Ad 00:21:28 - Indeed Ad 00:23:21 - When Avoidants Freeze Up and Go Into Detachment Mode 00:24:23 - Mike Shares His Detachment Experiences 00:26:08 - Reconnection Phase 00:27:23 - Afraid of Overreacting and Saying Something Wrong 00:29:21 - Modelling From Parents 00:31:42 - Stonewalling and Icing the Other Person Out 00:36:38 - Fearful Avoidants and Spitefulness 00:41:58 - Mike Share His Insights How to Cope When a Partner Shuts Down 00:43:49 - Resolution 00:45:56 - Moving Forward Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=youtube-podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=yt-09-02-24&el=youtube Get FREE breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com/freethais Get a $75 Sponsored Job Credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com/THAIS Get Your Question Answered by Thais and Mike: https://www.reddit.com/r/CanThisBeFixed/ Let's connect! https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool/ Find Mike Online: https://www.instagram.com/dareal_mikedee #TheThaisGibsonPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

www.commsolutionsmn.com- Things have been blowing by at breakneck speed. Huge news stories, that would normally last weeks in the media, now are here and gone in days. We take a moment to call out Comcast and professional sports over their latest scam to bilk more money from the fans. At some point, the average fan will be completely priced out and they don't care. Why is no one talking about the attempt on President Trump's life anymore? This just happened! How do we still not know anything about Thomas Crooks? We knew more about all of the 9/11 hijackers within a week than we know about this guy now. Why has he been scrubbed? Who is holding this information from the public? We are in unprecedented times. An attempt on the life of a former president and a legit third-world coup to take out the current President of the United States from running for a second term. Then the Democrat elites install a new candidate without a single delegate vote being cast and have the audacity to call it a "bottom-up process". In who's land of make believe? IT's time that those of us that love our country and the constitution come together (even across political parties) to preserve our republic and our constitution. Join us for this discussion and in our journey for restoration.

Stonewalling, Gaslighting & Manipulation in relationships

Is your wife giving you the silent treatment? Does it create huge amounts of anxiety and fear or anger in you?In this episode I explain what stonewalling and the silent treatment are, the effect they have on you and your relationship as well as what they are not and how to respond to it confidently.In our coaching, we help men get a powerful new mindset that empowers you to give, love and connect more deeply because you're finally doing that within yourself first. This mindset allows empathy, trust and connection to happen because you're confident in who you're being. We teach skills and knowledge that nobody ever teaches men when we're younger. Skills and knowledge that make you feel confident and in control even when chaos is going on around you. It's amazing what you can achieve when you make yourself a priority. Most men don't.   They are too busy taking care of everyone else.  Too busy minding the store and making the money.   They are focused on the "outside game" of winning life. But their "inside game" of confidence and clarity is suffering badly. You can only improve your inside game with other men. We would love to help you become more calm, more strong emotionally and more confident and happy in who you are as a man. Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men's Live Coaching Roundtable. There's an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization. https://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys2greatmen-live-coaching-roundtable/ If you're facing possible divorce, we have an online course which is specifically for you - Defuse the Divorce Bomb: https://mojopolis.thinkific.com/courses/HDDB-preview?ref=a53950 What if this next year everything changed for you? That's what we want for you brother, We love teaching men these tools - how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs. Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ Steve's book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/straight-talk-tools-for-the-desperate-husband/ We also have a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/ If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ We would be thrilled to help you get there - our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence. You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there - and she doesn't WANT to...trust us on that. Sign up to receive our email newsletters for lots more free tips and advice here: https://archive.aweber.com/stevemain Subscribe to be notified whenever we upload a new video: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC13h36xaBvyTPVAES4-4rXw?sub_confirmation=1 You can watch all our videos here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/video-library/ Or read our blog articles here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/blog/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/goodguys2greatmen-podcast--4650431/support.

Marriage is an adventure. If you don't look at it as such then you run the risk of falling into a deep pit much like I did with Pitfall Harry. Marriage is not easy and in the early days can be wrought with lots of emotions and struggles. This is why so many marriages fail before reaching the 10-year mark. You first struggle with the idiosyncracies of the girl you dated. You noticed odd things you at first thought were cute habits of her being weird but now you are questioning if you can put with it her till the end of time. Why is she complaining that you leave clothes on the floor while her makeup has invaded your bathroom sink?There is a lot to marriage for sure. The funny part is that finding out how to divi up the chores is the least of the problems. That is because eventually kids get introduced and your way of life, for a short bit, is upended by the demands of a little life that depends on you to stay alive. Old habits and sometimes dreams get shuffled and relegated to the back burner as you adjust fire.Then on top of all this, you have to try to remember that your wife is still your girlfriend. Yeah, you see her in all her glory of just waking up and with breath that bubbles the paint on the doorjamb. You see her in times of immense vulnerability and she sees you in times of when you aren't the most romantic. Yeah, the random Dutch ovens are funny. There are those times when you and her cling together as you all try to support each other in uncertainty. You divide and conquer the changing of the bed right after your son says he doesn't feel good and erupts half-digested food across your legs while you are readying yourself for bed.So how do you keep the marriage alive and connected? We have discussed ways to keep a marriage connected but what are some of the more common pitfalls that can drain a marriage of its life? What do you not want to do if you don't want your marriage to fade and become another statistic? Here are 9 Pitfalls that will remove respect honor and trust from any marriage.The Victim MindsetIf you have listened to or read anything from this site, you know that victims receive no respect, and rightfully so. Yeah, that sounds harsh until you are trying to repeatedly pick up a victim. Then you realize that they will not take responsibility for their part in the current disaster they are in. The blame is always passed it is never their fault. It is one crisis after another. over and over again. The victim comes running wanting you to fix the problem, then pump their damaged ego up, and be thankful that they chose you to do the work.Now imagine if this was your spouse or worse it is you. You are supposed to be the head of the household and here you are passing the buck like you are the 5-year-old. The victim takes energy and vitality away from those around them. They don't take action to keep the problem from happening again. They just stand there looking to blame someone for the fact that they arrived in the same predicament as before.The victim is a taker. They take the energy drive of their target. They throw away their own self-respect and expect everyone else to prop them up. Stay out of the victim mindset. all that does is send you to the bottom of the trash heap.StonewallingMany times our wife will say something to us that will hurt our feelings. Yes, your wife is very good at creating thoughts that will hurt your feelings. The choice that you have with this is how are you going to respond. Many times she will nag you. This nagging will create thoughts that you are failing at keeping your word or not being responsible. Those thoughts will create feelings of shame and your action will be to shut down and not say anything. That lack of talking is stonewalling. It works, you can just not interact with your wife. That lack of interaction gets her frustrated enough that she just stops nagging you and goes and does something else. Mission accomplished right? Is that action really getting you the results you truly want?Stonewalling will create frustration in your wife. She may start to believe that you don't care about her. You do not want to connect with her anymore She will start to feel isolated and then her mind starts to run and that is where the emotions and thoughts can really cause some damage.Not communicating with your wife doesn't fix anything. Yeah she was bugging you, but why go in the opposite direction of what you actually want? You claim you want to have a stronger relationship with your wife. So why push her away? You know how to alleviate the nagging that she does. Yes, you can do what she asks, but there is a better way. Talk with her. Have conversations with your wife. Not only in the intense times but also in the down times. Stonewalling keeps you away from her more than it keeps her away from you. Believing you can control another personWhen we are married we want to think that the relationship is going to be great. That is until our spouse does something that we find irritating. Then we would like them to stop. We may wish that they do more of something that we do like. Whatever action we would like our spouse to perform sadly isn't in our hands. it is up to them to do so. You can't control them. You can try to manipulate or coerce your wife to do something but is it better if she does it from her own will or yours? I can guarantee that it feels better to you when she does that from her own accord and not from your willTrying to make your spouse happyNow this is something you will hear many women state about their man. He doesn't make me happy. The same thing happens with men too, except we don't voice it as often. We get resentful because our spouse isn't controllable. We just want our wives to make us happy yet they fail at it all the time.However, if you pay attention you will see that your wife struggles with her own happiness. So why would you put your happiness in the hands of someone who struggles with making even themselves happy? This is why one of the best gifts you can give your wife is the absolution of her responsibility to make you happy. Let her know that isn't her responsibility anymore. She doesn't have to struggle with it anymore. You will take on that responsibility.Now she will still have her own thoughts about that declaration and not fully understand it at first. However, she will grasp that you aren't seeing another woman and that you are taking your happiness into your own hands and not playing the victimanymore.Not Being CuriousSadly we stop being curious about our spouse and the late-night talks of random things start to fade. Why? because we stop being curious. We stop wondering about our wife and her thoughts. If you want a strong powerful connected relationship. you have to keep being curious. not blaming but actual curiosity about where she is coming from on a particular action. Why something is as important to her as it is. Letting her say why instead of just believing you know why will fix the hanging dread of disconnection.Dropping Date NightWhen we are dating our wife we set up date nights we make them fun and exciting. They end in romantic romps in bed. That last part is when we want so much so that we know that we are doing good. The problem is that we stop with the work that results in the romps. If you want to have more sex you have to woo your wife and we often stop treating our wife as our girlfriend and that is easy to alleviate when you change how you are looking at your wife.Being able to laughWhy have we as men stopped being light-hearted? Why does everything have to be so darn serious? What if you let up on the seriousness a little and allowed yourself to laugh in front of your wife and kids? What if you took things just a little less seriously?When you can get your wife to smile and laugh because you are being a goofball she can relax and is open to connecting more.Taking words too seriouslyAs mentioned before you are going to hear thoughts from your wife that you'll take personally and these will cause you to feel ashamed embarrassed frustrated or more. This is because you chose to take what she said personally. She may have called yo lazy or worse but you can choose to agree with the statement or not agree and let the pain that comes with those words not even come close to hitting you..Leaving a disagreement unfinished.In times of conflict, it can seem that words and thoughts are flung around like axes and bullets. Even though they can't cause any harm we will allow the thoughts to keep us disconnected. We will pull away the connections we have with our wife. And often sulk to our corner instead of finding a solution no matter how scary it may appear and talking it out till we have a solution, That resolution is important to allow us to reconnect and grow from our experienceMany wonderful times allow you to look at your marriage with fondness. There are times that we also look at our spouse with a thought that is short of fondness. When we do that start looking at when you stopped dating your wife and when you all stop talking. Find a way that you can bring that marital spark back. It's not too late. You just have to start taking actionIf you would like to take your marriage from eggshells to excitement Please take the Next Step and sign up for a free consulting session.

Understanding the Neglectful Narcissist: Why Recognizing the Signs Matters When we think of narcissism, we often picture the grandiose, attention-seeking individual who craves admiration and validation. However, there is another, less obvious type of narcissist who can be equally damaging: the neglectful narcissist. Unlike their overt counterparts, neglectful narcissists are more subtle in their behavior, making it harder to identify the harm they cause. This type of narcissist may not openly demand praise or validation, but their impact can be just as devastating, especially when it comes to emotional neglect. In this episode of Breakdown to Breakthrough with Life Coach and award winning author, Lisa A. Romano, you will learn about 5 signs that indicate you are living with, married to, or were raised by a neglectful narcissist.  Understanding the signs of a neglectful narcissist is crucial, but it's important to approach this topic with caution. The signs can be ambiguous, often masked by behaviors that might seem normal or even benign on the surface. This subtlety is what makes the neglectful narcissist so dangerous. They might not engage in overtly abusive behavior, but their lack of empathy, attention, and emotional support can leave deep, lasting scars. It's not always about what they do—it's about what they fail to do. Their indifference, dismissiveness, or emotional absence can slowly erode a person's sense of self-worth, leaving them feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant. Why is it so important to recognize these signs, even when they are vague or ambiguous? Because the impact of living with or being close to a neglectful narcissist can be profound and far-reaching. The emotional neglect that characterizes their behavior can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression in those who are subjected to it. Over time, this can result in a deep-seated belief that one's needs and feelings are not valid or worthy of attention. By becoming more aware of the subtle signs, individuals can begin to protect themselves from the insidious effects of this type of narcissism, reclaim their sense of self, and take steps towards healing. Understanding the neglectful narcissist isn't just about identifying the signs—it's about recognizing the patterns of emotional neglect that can be so easily overlooked. It's about acknowledging that even without overt abuse, the damage can be just as significant. By educating ourselves about the more ambiguous nature of this behavior, we empower ourselves and others to break free from its effects and move towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Embark on the path to conscious awakening, emotional healing, and transformation with Lisa's Conscious Healing Academy, which includes a 3 tier coaching system that assists with one's awakening, emotional intelligence, and mental and emotional mastery.  12 Week Breakthrough Program (Level One - The Awakening) 8 Week Master Your Reality (Level 2 -- Deliberate Creating) Soul School - (Level Three -- Ascending Ego) To learn more, contact Lisa and her team members here; Contact Website Spotify Award Winning Books  Facebook Support Group  

The ladies are in their educational bag, so get out your pen and paper or pull out your notes app as we go through Dr. John Gottman's infamous 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse! No we're not talking in the Biblical sense, but join us as we break down the sneaky behaviors that can make their way into your relationship, causing chaos and conflict. From Criticism's sharp tongue to Stonewalling's cold shoulder, we'll uncover how these destructive habits wreak havoc and, most importantly, how to rein them in. Whether you're in a new relationship or celebrating your golden anniversary, this episode is packed with insights, laughs, and practical tips to keep your love story on the right path.OUR CONVERSATION CARDS ARE HERE!! Not all conversation cards are created equal! Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!! ORDER 101 Chats to Reach the Peak here ----> https://shop.marriagepinnacle.com/collections/conversation-cards Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle! Remember, if you have an issue that you would like help with, send your listener letters to contactus@marriagepinnacle.com!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community and mailing list at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events! Follow us on all social media outlets at @marriagepinnacle and Twitter at @thapeak for the most up-to-date information, tips, and marital support resources!

On today's show, we're exploring some powerful insights into maintaining and improving your relationship, informed by a leading researcher who can predict divorce with over 90% accuracy.We'll examine the groundbreaking work of Dr. John Gottman, particularly the discovery of the "Four Horsemen"—behaviours that can signal relationship troubles—and how you can counteract these detrimental patterns. Plus, I'll introduce you to Gottman's ATTUNE method, a practical approach to build trust and emotional attunement in your partnership.Join me as we break down these key concepts, guiding you through actionable steps to foster a culture of appreciation and mutual understanding in your relationship. Whether you're looking to avoid conflict, improve communication, or simply strengthen your partnership, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you and your partner grow together.Key Themes Discussed:- The impact of fighting over text messages and how to manage it.- John Gottman's Four Horsemen and their antidotes.- The magic ratio of positive to negative interactions in relationships.- Building trust and emotional attunement with the ATTUNE method.Timestamps:02:29 Avoiding conflict escalation over text messages05:42 Introduction to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse07:58 Understanding the magic 5:1 ratio for relationships18:00 Remedies and antidotes to the Four HorsemenWant to transform your relationship and take it to the next level?Join my online course here.My Socials:Nick Solaczek on InstagramNick Solaczek on YouTubeNick Solaczek on Facebook

If you've ever felt the frustration and loneliness of trying to communicate with a partner who just shuts down, you're not alone. If your man won't say a word to you or only talks about logistics or the kids, it's devastating and scary. I remember feeling panicked when that used to happen at my house because I felt so abandoned. The only way to stop the terror, I thought, was to insist that he talk to me, which seemed to make him dig in even more. It was awful and I felt pathetic. Other people said just ignore him until he calms down, but I'm not a patient person and that never worked for me. So on today's episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we're talking about how to deal with a stonewalling husband. These three tips will help you navigate those stressful moments with more dignity and to create a home where there's so much emotional safety that stonewalling becomes a distant memory.  Plus, my guest Jessee is not a student but rather the husband of a podcast guest and coach. He generously agreed to be part of our Man Panel series, and today I'm going to get his perspective on the changes in his family as a result of his wife using the 6 Intimacy Skills™ and the Connection Framework. Get ready to hear the male perspective on what makes a man attracted to his wife and want to be her hero.

The Babylon Bee Podcast talks about the conspiracy plot to take down Joe Biden and put forward a nominee for president that nobody voted for. Also, the Bee discusses the director of the Secret Service and her “Stonewalling” evasive answers not helping the tinfoil hat crowd. Get your own conspiracy theory t-shirt: https://shop.babylonbee.com/products/conspiracy-theory-t-shirt Check out our friend Joe's awesome bookbinding and crafts: http://SilvashireCrafts.com This episode is brought to you by My Patriot Supply. Get $200 off 3-month emergency food supply kits: http://preparewithbee.com  

Congressman Tim Burchett: Secret Service Director must stop stonewalling and resign Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Justin Gregory Briggs, Ph.D., LMFT and his co-hosts talk about stonewalling, a common response to disagreement that leads us to shut down or run away rather than engage in conflict. This episode features Lexie Holcomb, Matt Samek and George Seay. 

In the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals, the Florida Panthers have jumped out to a 2-0 series lead. Can the Edmonton Oilers even the series? We'll break down what's gone right and what's gone wrong for the Oilers. Also in our NHL Bar Talk, does Jacob Trouba's ankle injury let him off the hook? And more around the NHL!#bigapplehockey #timetohunt #letgooilers #nyr #nhlbartalk #nhl-For more articles and opinions: www.bahpod.com-Listen to the PODCAST on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/big-apple-hockey/id1581692698-Listen to the PODCAST on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Google Podcasts -Subscribe on YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/c/bigapplehockey-Follow us on TWITTER: www.twitter.com/bigapplehockey-Follow us on INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/big_apple_hockey_/-For Big Apple Hockey MERCH buy here: https://www.ebay.com/usr/bigapplehockeySupport the channel on TipTopJar: https://tiptopjar.com/bigapplehockeyBAH linktree: https://linktr.ee/bigapplehockeyUse "BigAppleHockey" on Seat Geek for $20 off your first order!Marc uses Streamyard for his streaming broadcast! Check them out with this link:https://streamyard.com/?fpr=marc25What are your thoughts? Comment Below! We'd love to hear from you!Want more coverage? Go to www.BAHPod.com for more articles on your favorite teams all around the NHL!Any footage used is considered Fair Use and we do not own the copyright for anything NOT held by us. This video features materials protected by the Fair Use guidelines of Section 107 of the Copyright Act. All rights reserved to the copyright owners.If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800- GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800- NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1- 800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI /NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in ONT. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pregame moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 free bets. Free Bets are non-cashable and cannot be withdrawn. Free bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Free Bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Promotional offer period ends 12/30/22 at 11:59pm ET.. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/hockeyterms. NHL and the NHL Shield are registered trademarks of the National Hockey League. © NHL 2022. All Rights ReservedFor more Rangers coverage:Follow John Filkowski on Twitter: @92in82For more Islanders News:Follow Anthony LaRocco on Twitter: @ALaRocco0801

In the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals, the Florida Panthers have jumped out to a 2-0 series lead. Can the Edmonton Oilers even the series? We'll break down what's gone right and what's gone wrong for the Oilers. Also in our NHL Bar Talk, does Jacob Trouba's ankle injury let him off the hook? And more around the NHL! #bigapplehockey #timetohunt #letgooilers #nyr #nhlbartalk #nhl -For more articles and opinions: www.bahpod.com -Listen to the PODCAST on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/big-apple-hockey/id1581692698 -Listen to the PODCAST on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Google Podcasts -Subscribe on YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/c/bigapplehockey -Follow us on TWITTER: www.twitter.com/bigapplehockey -Follow us on INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/big_apple_hockey_/ -For Big Apple Hockey MERCH buy here: https://www.ebay.com/usr/bigapplehockey Support the channel on TipTopJar: https://tiptopjar.com/bigapplehockey BAH linktree: https://linktr.ee/bigapplehockey Use "BigAppleHockey" on Seat Geek for $20 off your first order! Marc uses Streamyard for his streaming broadcast! Check them out with this link: https://streamyard.com/?fpr=marc25 What are your thoughts? Comment Below! We'd love to hear from you! Want more coverage? Go to www.BAHPod.com for more articles on your favorite teams all around the NHL! Any footage used is considered Fair Use and we do not own the copyright for anything NOT held by us. This video features materials protected by the Fair Use guidelines of Section 107 of the Copyright Act. All rights reserved to the copyright owners. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800- GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800- NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1- 800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI /NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in ONT. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pregame moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 free bets. Free Bets are non-cashable and cannot be withdrawn. Free bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Free Bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Promotional offer period ends 12/30/22 at 11:59pm ET.. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/hockeyterms. NHL and the NHL Shield are registered trademarks of the National Hockey League. © NHL 2022. All Rights Reserved For more Rangers coverage: Follow John Filkowski on Twitter: @92in82 For more Islanders News: Follow Anthony LaRocco on Twitter: @ALaRocco0801 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Megan and Michelle dive into the silent treatment, resignation, sciency things, stonewalling, withholding likes, conflict avoidance, tactical ignoring, and the pressure to forgive. Sources:- The silent treatment: ‘One woman was ostracised by her husband for 40 years'- Stonewalling vs The Silent Treatment: Are They The Same?- 5 Emotionally Abusive Ways People Use the Silent Treatment- Silent treatment in relationships: the quiet killer of intimacy and trust- What Couples Should Know About the Silent TreatmentWant to support Prosecco Theory?Become a Patreon subscriber and earn swag!Check out our merch, available on teepublic.com!Follow/Subscribe wherever you listen!Rate, review, and tell your friends!Follow us on Instagram!****************Ever thought about starting your own podcast? From day one, Buzzsprout gave us all the tools we needed get Prosecco Theory off the ground. What are you waiting for? Follow this link to get started. Cheers!!

Monday, May 13th, 2024Today, Trump could face a $100M tax bill if he loses his IRS audit fight; the DoJ is asking for 40 years in prison with a terror enhancement for the man who attacked Paul Pelosi with a hammer; Clarence Thomas has hurt fee fees and calls DC a hideous place; Georgia Republicans have ousted the guy who voted illegally nine times; the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington want the FEC to investigate Trump settlement cover ups; WABC has canceled Rudy Giuliani's radio show cuz he can't stop lying; the House Ethics Committee is investigating Rep Ronny Jackson; the DC Circuit Court has denied Steve Bannon's contempt appeal; Matt Gaetz was denied a prison visit to Pete Navarro; Kristi Noem is running into more problems; the DOJ is stonewalling the house ethics probe into Matt Gaetz; plus Allison delivers your Good News.Promo Code:For up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to https://www.helixsleep.com/dailybeans.Subscribe for free to MuellerSheWrote on Substackhttps://muellershewrote.substack.com Appeals court upholds Steve Bannon's conviction for contempt of Congress (NBC News)Statement of the Chairman and Ranking Member of the Committee on Ethics Regarding Representative Ronny Jackson (House Ethics)DOJ ‘Stonewalling' House Ethics Committee Probe of Matt Gaetz (Daily Beast)Georgia Republicans boot vice chairman after ruling he voted illegally (AJC)Report: Trump may face a $100 million-plus tax bill if he loses IRS audit fight over Chicago tower (AP News)FEC must investigate apparent Trump campaign cover-up of settlements (CREW)Thomas says critics are pushing ‘nastiness' and calls Washington a ‘hideous place' (AP News)French official disputes passage about Emmanuel Macron in Kristi Noem's book (NBC News) Subscribe to Lawyers, Guns, And MoneyAd-free premium feed: https://lawyersgunsandmoney.supercast.comSubscribe for free everywhere else:https://lawyersgunsandmoney.simplecast.com/episodes/1-miami-1985Check out other MSW Media podcastshttps://mswmedia.com/shows/Follow AG and Dana on Social MediaDr. Allison Gill Follow Mueller, She Wrote on Posthttps://post.news/@/MuellerSheWrote?utm_source=TwitterAG&utm_medium=creator_organic&utm_campaign=muellershewrote&utm_content=FollowMehttps://muellershewrote.substack.comhttps://twitter.com/MuellerSheWrotehttps://www.threads.net/@muellershewrotehttps://www.tiktok.com/@muellershewrotehttps://instagram.com/muellershewroteDana Goldberghttps://twitter.com/DGComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/dgcomedyhttps://www.facebook.com/dgcomedyhttps://danagoldberg.comHave some good news; a confession; or a correction?Good News & Confessions - The Daily Beanshttps://www.dailybeanspod.com/confessional/From The Good NewsQualified Medicare Beneficiary (QMB)https://www.cms.gov/medicare/medicaid-coordination/qualified-medicare-beneficiary-programPhase One Foundationhttps://www.phaseonefoundation.orgDeja Magick Hand-Crafted, Wearable Arthttps://www.facebook.com/dejamagickSAVE Plan (Student Loans)https://studentaid.gov/announcements-events/save-plan Live Show Ticket Links:https://allisongill.com (for all tickets and show dates)Sunday, June 2nd – Chicago IL – Schubas TavernFriday June 14th – Philadelphia PA – City WinerySaturday June 15th – New York NY – City WinerySunday June 16th – Boston MA – City WineryMonday June 17th Boston, MA https://tinyurl.com/Beans-Bos2Wednesday July 10th – Portland OR – Polaris Hall(with Dana!)Thursday July 11th – Seattle WA – The Triple Door(with Dana!)Thursday July 25th Milwaukee, WI https://tinyurl.com/Beans-MKESunday July 28th Nashville, TN - with Phil Williams https://tinyurl.com/Beans-TennWednesday July 31st St. Louis, MO https://tinyurl.com/Beans-STLFriday August 16th Washington, DC - with Andy McCabe, Pete Strzok, Glenn Kirschner https://tinyurl.com/Beans-in-DCSaturday August 24 San Francisco, CA https://tinyurl.com/Beans-SF Listener Survey:http://survey.podtrac.com/start-survey.aspx?pubid=BffJOlI7qQcF&ver=shortFollow the Podcast on Apple:The Daily Beans on Apple PodcastsWant to support the show and get it ad-free and early?Supercasthttps://dailybeans.supercast.com/OrPatreon https://patreon.com/thedailybeansOr subscribe on Apple Podcasts with our affiliate linkThe Daily Beans on Apple Podcasts

Questions: How to fight healthy in a relationship? What are the signs of unhealthy fighting in a relationship? How often do healthy couples fight? How does one have a healthy argument with a dismissive avoidant significant other? How does one have a healthy argument/disagreement with an anxious, preoccupied significant other? How does one have a healthy argument/fight with a fearful, avoidant significant other? What is emotional neglect in a relationship? How do you break the cycle of fighting in a relationship? How to pick your battles in a relationship? What is gaslighting in a relationship? What does a healthy argument look like? What is stonewalling in relationships? How to argue with your covert narcissist significant other? Do you use non-verbal communication to convey disrespect that you're unwilling to speak out loud? What are some patterns couples engage in to curtail conflict? How can avoiding conflict to “keep the peace” contribute to relationship obsolescence and erode vulnerability within the relationship? What connections can be made between attachment styles, defense mechanisms and relational problem solving? Is being conflict averse correlated with a lack of inner peace and/or enlightenment? If so, how does this contribute to relationship dynamics and overall satisfaction within? Is “keeping the peace” an extension of the external control that you lack inwardly? How does the fear of confrontation impact the level of intimacy and authenticity within a relationship? Is conflict resolution a skill that can be learned and developed over time, or is it inherent in one's personality? Can healthy conflict actually deepen emotional intimacy and trust within a relationship? How does one navigate power dynamics in a healthy argument within a relationship? ***What role does empathy play in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a form of emotional intimacy and vulnerability in a relationship? How do cultural and societal norms influence the way we perceive and engage in conflict within relationships? Can unresolved conflicts from past relationships impact the way we approach conflict in current relationships? Is it healthy to have differing communication styles when engaging in conflict within a relationship? How does the concept of forgiveness play a role in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Can conflict be a catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness within a relationship? How does the fear of abandonment or rejection impact the way we approach conflict within relationships? Is there a difference between healthy conflict and toxic conflict within a relationship? If so, how can one distinguish between the two? What role does self-esteem and self-worth play in the way we handle conflict within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a means of reinforcing boundaries and asserting one's needs within a relationship? How can mindfulness and self-awareness aid in navigating conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it healthy to seek professional help or therapy to address recurring conflicts within a relationship? How can one cultivate a sense of emotional safety and security within a relationship to facilitate healthy conflict resolution? What impact does unresolved trauma have on the way we engage in conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a form of emotional expression and release within a relationship? How does the concept of fairness and equality play a role in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Can conflict be a form of emotional bonding and intimacy within a relationship? What role does vulnerability and transparency play in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible to have a healthy relationship without engaging in any form of conflict or disagreement? How does the concept of mutual respect and understanding impact the way we approach conflict within relationships? ***Can unresolved conflicts lead to long-term resentment and dissatisfaction within a relationship? What role does active listening and validation play in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a form of growth and evolution within a relationship? How does the concept of compromise and negotiation impact the way we approach conflict within relationships? Can unresolved conflicts be a source of unresolved trauma within a relationship? What role does emotional intelligence and communication skills play in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a form of emotional release and catharsis within a relationship? How does the concept of emotional regulation and self-control impact the way we handle conflict within relationships? Can unresolved conflicts lead to a breakdown in trust and intimacy within a relationship? What role does transparency and honesty play in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a form of building resilience and strength within a relationship? How does the concept of empathy and compassion impact the way we approach conflict within relationships? Can unresolved conflicts be a source of growth and transformation within a relationship? What role does self-reflection and introspection play in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships? Is it possible for conflict to be a form of deepening emotional connection and intimacy within a relationship? How does the concept of forgiveness and acceptance impact the way we handle conflict within relationships? True or false? Just because someone's tone is pleasant doesn't necessarily mean they are fighting Fairley? Zo's Talking Points: In the realm of intimate relationships, conflict is often seen as a sign of trouble, a red flag signaling potential discord and disharmony. However, what if we were to challenge this conventional wisdom and propose that healthy discord, disagreement, and conflict should have a useful and beneficial place in every healthy relationship? This essay delves into the complexities of conflict within intimate relationships, exploring the notion that engaging in healthy conflict can actually be a catalyst for growth, intimacy, and self-awareness. To fight healthy in a relationship is to navigate the tumultuous waters of disagreement with respect, empathy, and a willingness to listen and understand the other person's perspective. It involves setting boundaries, expressing emotions constructively, and seeking resolutions that are mutually beneficial. Healthy conflict is characterized by open communication, active listening, and a genuine desire to find common ground and reach a deeper understanding of each other. Recognizing the signs of unhealthy fighting in a relationship is crucial in order to address and rectify destructive patterns. These signs may include name-calling, belittling, invalidating the other person's feelings, and resorting to manipulation or emotional blackmail. Unhealthy fighting often escalates into a power struggle, where the goal is not resolution but rather domination or control. The frequency of conflict in healthy couples varies, but what distinguishes them is their ability to navigate these conflicts in a constructive and respectful manner. Healthy couples see conflict as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than a threat to the relationship itself. They understand that differences are inevitable and that resolving conflicts can strengthen their bond. Navigating conflict with different attachment styles, such as dismissive avoidant, anxious preoccupied, or fearful avoidant, requires a nuanced approach. Understanding each other's attachment styles can provide insights into how to communicate effectively and address underlying insecurities or fears that may be fueling the conflict. Emotional neglect in a relationship can manifest as a lack of emotional responsiveness, empathy, or support from one or both partners. Breaking the cycle of fighting in a relationship involves identifying the root causes of conflict, addressing unresolved issues, and developing healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. Picking your battles in a relationship is about discerning which issues are worth addressing and which ones are better left unspoken. It involves prioritizing the well-being of the relationship over the need to be right or to win an argument. Gaslighting, a form of manipulation where one person distorts reality to make the other doubt their own perceptions, can severely damage trust and intimacy in a relationship. Stonewalling, on the other hand, is a passive-aggressive behavior where one person shuts down or withdraws from the conflict, refusing to engage or communicate. Patterns that couples engage in to curtail conflict may include avoidance, defensiveness, or aggression, all of which can hinder the resolution of underlying issues. Avoiding conflict to "keep the peace" may seem like a noble endeavor, but it can actually contribute to relationship obsolescence and erode vulnerability within the relationship. By avoiding conflict, partners may suppress their true feelings and needs, leading to resentment, dissatisfaction, and a lack of emotional intimacy. Attachment styles, defense mechanisms, and relational problem solving are intricately intertwined, shaping the way individuals approach and engage in conflict within relationships. Being conflict-averse may indeed be correlated with a lack of inner peace and enlightenment, as conflict can be a mirror reflecting our deepest fears, insecurities, and unresolved traumas. "Keeping the peace" may be an extension of the external control that one lacks inwardly, a way to maintain a façade of harmony while ignoring the underlying tensions and dissonance within. True peace and enlightenment, however, may require a willingness to confront these conflicts, embrace vulnerability, and engage in healthy discord as a path to growth and self-discovery. In conclusion, healthy conflict within intimate relationships can be a transformative and enriching experience, fostering deeper connections, emotional intimacy, and personal growth. By embracing conflict as an opportunity for learning, understanding, and growth, couples can navigate the complexities of relationships with grace, empathy, and resilience. Conflict, when approached with mindfulness and compassion, can be a powerful tool for building stronger, more authentic, and more fulfilling relationships. In the intricate dance of intimate relationships, conflict often emerges as a formidable adversary, threatening the delicate balance and harmony that partners strive to maintain. However, what if we were to challenge the notion that conflict is inherently destructive and instead view it as a catalyst for growth, evolution, and deeper connection within a relationship? This essay embarks on a thought-provoking exploration of the benefits of healthy conflict within intimate relationships, shedding light on the transformative power of discord and disagreement when approached with mindfulness, empathy, and a commitment to growth. Unresolved conflicts, left festering beneath the surface, have the insidious power to breed long-term resentment and dissatisfaction within a relationship. When grievances go unaddressed, they can create a rift between partners, eroding trust, intimacy, and emotional connection. It is through open communication, active listening, and a willingness to address underlying issues that partners can navigate conflicts and prevent them from becoming sources of lasting discontent. Active listening and validation are essential components in the resolution of conflicts within intimate relationships. By actively listening to each other's perspectives, acknowledging feelings, and validating emotions, partners can foster understanding, empathy, and mutual respect. This practice of validation creates a safe space for open dialogue and paves the way for productive conflict resolution. Conflict, when approached with intention and mindfulness, has the potential to be a powerful catalyst for growth and evolution within a relationship. By engaging in healthy conflict, partners have the opportunity to challenge assumptions, expand perspectives, and deepen their understanding of each other. Through conflict, individuals can confront their fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities, leading to personal growth and relational transformation. The concept of compromise and negotiation plays a pivotal role in the way partners approach conflict within relationships. By seeking mutually beneficial solutions, compromising on differences, and engaging in open, honest negotiation, partners can navigate conflicts with grace and respect. Compromise fosters a spirit of collaboration and cooperation, strengthening the foundation of the relationship. Unresolved conflicts within a relationship can indeed become sources of unresolved trauma, triggering deep-seated emotional wounds and insecurities. It is through introspection, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence that partners can identify and address these unresolved traumas, paving the way for healing and growth. Communication skills, such as active listening, empathy, and assertiveness, are essential tools in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships. Conflict, when approached with emotional regulation and self-control, can be a form of emotional release and catharsis within a relationship. By expressing emotions authentically, setting boundaries, and managing conflicts constructively, partners can release pent-up emotions and foster emotional catharsis. Emotional regulation allows partners to navigate conflicts with composure and grace, fostering understanding and empathy. Unresolved conflicts have the potential to lead to a breakdown in trust and intimacy within a relationship, creating distance and barriers between partners. Transparency and honesty are critical in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships, as they build trust, foster connection, and deepen emotional intimacy. By embracing vulnerability, honesty, and transparency, partners can navigate conflicts with authenticity and integrity. Conflict, when approached with empathy and compassion, has the power to deepen emotional connection and intimacy within a relationship. By empathizing with each other's perspectives, showing compassion for feelings, and approaching conflict with a spirit of understanding, partners can forge deeper emotional bonds and strengthen their connection. Empathy and compassion create a foundation of emotional intimacy and trust, fostering a sense of security and closeness within the relationship. Self-reflection and introspection are essential components in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships. By reflecting on one's own emotions, triggers, and reactions, partners can gain insight into their own behaviors and patterns. Self-reflection allows partners to take responsibility for their actions, communicate effectively, and navigate conflicts with intention and mindfulness. Conflict, when approached with forgiveness and acceptance, can be a powerful tool for healing and growth within a relationship. By practicing forgiveness, letting go of grudges, and accepting each other's imperfections, partners can move past conflicts and embrace a spirit of reconciliation. Forgiveness and acceptance create a foundation of trust, empathy, and understanding, fostering a sense of unity and connection within the relationship. In conclusion, conflict within intimate relationships, when approached with mindfulness, empathy, and a commitment to growth, has the potential to be a transformative and enriching experience. By embracing conflict as an opportunity for learning, understanding, and connection, partners can navigate the complexities of relationships with grace, authenticity, and resilience. Conflict, when handled with empathy, compassion, and emotional intelligence, can be a powerful catalyst for personal and relational growth, leading to deeper emotional connections and a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Regarding the question of whether someone's pleasant tone necessarily indicates fair fighting, it is essential to recognize that tone alone does not determine the fairness of conflict. Fair fighting encompasses a range of factors, including active listening, respect, empathy, and a commitment to resolution. A pleasant tone may mask underlying issues of manipulation, passive-aggression, or invalidation. True fair fighting requires a genuine effort to understand, validate, and respect each other's perspectives, regardless of tone or demeanor. Fair fighting is rooted in a spirit of collaboration, honesty, and integrity, fostering mutual growth, understanding, and connection within a relationship. In the realm of intimate relationships, conflict is often viewed as a negative force that should be avoided at all costs. However, what if we were to shift our perspective and consider the idea that healthy discord, disagreement, and conflict actually have a useful and beneficial place within every healthy relationship? This notion challenges the traditional belief that conflict is inherently harmful and instead suggests that it can be a means of fostering growth, self-awareness, and intimacy within a partnership. Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships. By practicing empathy, partners can better understand each other's perspectives and emotions, leading to more effective communication and conflict resolution. Conflict can also serve as a form of emotional intimacy and vulnerability in a relationship, as it allows partners to express their true thoughts and feelings in a safe and open space. Cultural and societal norms heavily influence the way we perceive and engage in conflict within relationships. In some cultures, conflict may be seen as a sign of strength and assertiveness, while in others, it may be viewed as disruptive and damaging. These beliefs can shape our approach to conflict and impact the way we navigate disagreements with our partners. Unresolved conflicts from past relationships can also impact the way we approach conflict in current relationships. If we have experienced trauma or unresolved issues in the past, we may bring those negative patterns into our current relationships, causing conflict to escalate and become more difficult to resolve. Differing communication styles can also play a role in how conflict is handled within a relationship. It is healthy to acknowledge and respect these differences, as they can lead to a more productive and understanding resolution of conflicts. Forgiveness is another key aspect of resolving conflicts within intimate relationships. By practicing forgiveness, partners can let go of past grievances and move forward in a more positive and constructive way. Conflict can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness within a relationship. By confronting and working through conflicts, partners can learn more about themselves and each other, leading to a deeper understanding and connection. Fear of abandonment or rejection can impact the way we approach conflict within relationships. By addressing these fears and insecurities, partners can create a more secure and trusting environment in which conflicts can be resolved more effectively. There is a clear distinction between healthy conflict and toxic conflict within a relationship. Healthy conflict involves open communication, mutual respect, and a focus on finding a resolution, while toxic conflict is characterized by manipulation, blame, and emotional abuse. It is important to recognize the difference and seek help if conflicts become toxic. Self-esteem and self-worth play a significant role in how we handle conflict within intimate relationships. By valuing and respecting ourselves, we are better able to assert our needs and boundaries in a healthy and productive way. Conflict can also be a means of reinforcing boundaries and asserting one's needs within a relationship. By addressing conflicts and setting boundaries, partners can create a more balanced and respectful dynamic. Mindfulness and self-awareness can aid in navigating conflicts within intimate relationships. By staying present and aware of our thoughts and emotions during conflicts, we can better understand ourselves and our partners, leading to more effective communication and resolution. Seeking professional help or therapy to address recurring conflicts within a relationship can be a beneficial step towards resolution. A therapist can provide valuable insight and guidance in navigating conflicts and fostering a healthier relationship dynamic. Cultivating emotional safety and security within a relationship is essential for facilitating healthy conflict resolution. By creating a safe space for open communication and vulnerability, partners can address conflicts in a more constructive and supportive manner. Unresolved trauma can have a significant impact on the way we engage in conflicts within intimate relationships. By addressing and healing from past trauma, partners can approach conflicts with a clearer mind and a more open heart. Conflict can also be a form of emotional expression and release within a relationship. By expressing our thoughts and feelings through conflict, partners can release pent-up emotions and find catharsis in the resolution process. Fairness and equality are important principles in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships. By approaching conflicts with a sense of fairness and equality, partners can ensure that both parties feel heard and respected in the resolution process. Conflict can serve as a form of emotional bonding and intimacy within a relationship. By working through conflicts together, partners can deepen their connection and strengthen their bond, leading to a more resilient and fulfilling partnership. Vulnerability and transparency are key components in resolving conflicts within intimate relationships. By being open and honest with our thoughts and feelings, partners can build trust and understanding, leading to more effective conflict resolution. While conflict is often seen as a negative aspect of relationships, it is possible to have a healthy relationship without engaging in any form of conflict or disagreement. By fostering open communication, mutual respect, and understanding, partners can navigate disagreements in a constructive and respectful manner. Mutual respect and understanding are essential in how we approach conflict within relationships. By valuing each other's perspectives and emotions, partners can create a more supportive and empathetic environment in which conflicts can be resolved with care and consideration. In conclusion, healthy discord, disagreement, and conflict can have a useful and beneficial place within every healthy relationship. By approaching conflicts with empathy, communication, and self-awareness, partners can foster growth, intimacy, and understanding in their partnership. Conflict may be challenging, but when navigated with care and respect, it can lead to a more resilient and fulfilling relationship dynamic. Let's embrace the idea of a "healthy fight" and see where it leads us on the path to deeper connection and personal growth within our intimate relationships.

Paul Kamenar is Lead Counsel for the National Legal and Policy Center. He is also a Senior Fellow of the Administrative Conference of the United States. DoJ stonewalling turn over of Hur-Biden Interview transcript

In case you missed it, we are back with another AFAF Rewind! This is your chance to revisit some of our most impactful episodes! In this episode, we are bringing you a clip from Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling.  Stonewalling can be a red flag in any relationship, signaling potential challenges ahead or even worse. Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we review practical ways to improve our relationships by managing stonewalling.  Join us as we dissect stonewalling and offer practical tips to transform your approach to relationships. Tune in, rewind, and rediscover the keys to unlocking stronger, more resilient connections in the relationships you want to keep.  Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts :  Dr. John Gottman, Gottman Institute Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling (Full Episode) https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf Links: https://www.gottman.com/  

There are 5 real shitty ways to communicate in any relationship: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Over communicating. And it's amazing just how little we pay attention to these things when we engage with folks in conversation or conflict. So much can be resolved OR avoided if we just learn to master our tongue! In today's episode we dive deep into this topic of conversation. ______________________________________________________________   For FULL EPIDOSE in Audio & Video subscribe to our podcast Patreon.com/straightupsisters  Follow us on IG: @straightupsistersthepodcast @raqcsworld @lasusie  Follow us on YOUTUBE: Straight Up Sisters Podcast Email us: StraightUpSistersThePodcast@gmail.com