Podcasts about Infidelity

Why do emotional spirals feel uncontrollable after infidelity? If you can't stop overthinking, replaying images, or fearing the worst after being cheated on — you are not crazy. You are experiencing nervous system flooding and betrayal trauma. In this episode, Lisa breaks down the neuroscience behind emotional spirals after infidelity — why your brain shifts into fight-or-flight, why catastrophic thinking takes over, and why you can't “logic” your way out of it. You'll learn: What emotional spirals actually are (and why they feel so intense) How nervous system flooding shuts down rational thinking What Scripture really means when it says “Take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5) 3 practical ways to regulate your emotions and stop spiraling How structure and transparency calm betrayal anxiety Whether you are the betrayed spouse struggling with intrusive thoughts or the unfaithful spouse trying to understand your partner's emotional reactions, this episode will give you clarity and practical tools rooted in neuroscience and biblical truth. Emotional chaos does not mean your marriage is doomed — it means your nervous system needs safety.

Infidelity is one of the most talked-about — and least honestly discussed — parts of modern relationships. In this episode of Dating Intelligence, I sit down with author Teresa J. Conway, who shares her personal journey into the world of affairs and what she's learned from years inside it. We explore the psychology behind cheating, the emotional needs people often struggle to admit, and why relationships rarely fail for the reasons couples think they do. We also discuss Ashley Madison, online secrecy, communication breakdowns, and the spectrum between emotional and physical betrayal. Rather than sensationalizing the topic, this conversation looks at infidelity as a human behavior — one tied to desire, avoidance, attachment, and unmet needs. Whether you're single, dating, married, or recovering from betrayal, this episode will challenge assumptions and give you a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics most people never openly talk about. This is not about encouraging cheating — it's about understanding why it happens. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Mentality and Dating Intelligence 02:49 Exploring Adultery: Teresa's Journey 06:08 Navigating Ashley Madison: First Impressions 08:52 The Complexity of Relationships and Cheating 11:46 Emotional Connections Beyond Physicality 15:07 The Role of Communication in Affairs 18:00 Writing the Book: Field Notes from an Adulteress 20:51 Safety and Privacy in Online Affairs 24:07 Creating Effective Profiles on Dating Apps 26:47 Understanding User Intentions on Ashley Madison 30:04 The Role of Coaching in Online Dating 31:59 Navigating Relationship Decisions 34:16 Understanding Cheating and Relationships 39:40 The Reality of Cheating in Society 45:59 Communication and Compromise in Relationships 51:07 The Taboo of Cheating and Personal Stories 54:42 Exploring Alternatives to Cheating 59:14 The Dynamics of Online Dating and Cheating   Sponsor:  https://www.datingmentality.com/ Resources Ashley Madison How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress Teresa J. Conway's Website

Why does talking about the affair make everything worse? If every conversation about infidelity turns into a fight, shutdown, or emotional explosion, this episode will explain why — and what to do instead. Betrayal trauma activates the nervous system into fight, flight, or freeze. When couples try to “process” the affair while emotionally flooded, it often retraumatizes both spouses instead of bringing healing. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why activated nervous systems cannot process safely • How premature processing retraumatizes the betrayed spouse • Why defensiveness escalates the cycle for the unfaithful spouse • What Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches about timing in healing • The correct order of safety, stabilization, and structured truth If you've ever wondered: “Why do we keep making things worse when we try to talk about it?” “Why does every conversation turn into another fight?” “Are we damaging our marriage by talking too much about the affair?” This episode will give you clarity rooted in neuroscience and Scripture. Marriage healing is not about talking more — it's about talking wisely, in the right season.

Infidelity may be treated casually today, but its consequences still burn just as fiercely.

Forgiving Infidelity: If, when, and how to forgive or apologize when a partner has been unfaithful - a short interview with Dr. Tara Smith. Listen to caller's personal dramas four times each week as Dr. Kenner takes your calls and questions on parenting, romance, love, family, marriage, divorce, hobbies, career, mental health - any personal issue! Call anytime, toll free 877-Dr-Kenner. Visit www.drkenner.com for more information about the show (where you can also download free chapter one of her serious relationships guidebook).

*Disclaimer* This episode contains adult content and is not recommended for young listeners.   284. DON'T MISS THIS! Controversial Sex Questions, Answered with Dr. Juli Slattery   1 Samuel 24:19b NIV “May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today.”   *Transcription Below*   Bio: Instagram Facebook Authentic Intimacy Website Java with Juli Podcast   Thank you to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Questions and Topics We Cover: As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? If one part of Scripture talks about turning the other cheek, is that the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage? Is it reasonable to assume that once they have a smartphone, 100% of kids will be exposed to pornography?   Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, Including Past Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen  Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna  Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns  Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 222 Pornography: Protecting Children and Personal Healing, Victory, and Recovery in Christ with Sam Black Special Patreon Release: Holy Sex: An Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery Special Patreon Release: His Desires and Her Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn 252 Maximizing Sexual Connections as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner 260 Sex After Cancer with Dr. Kris Christiansen 277 Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:11 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 – 2:21) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   My returning guest for today is Dr. Juli Slattery.   She has authored another book entitled Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything, and we're going to cover a few themes from this book, but I think what you're going to find most helpful are her candid responses to some really tricky questions related to dating and pornography, technology, thought life, shows that we watch as believers, divorce, and just intimacy in general as married couples.   So, I think this is an episode that you're going to want to learn from yourself, but you'll also want to share with others because Dr. Juli has offered us such a gift as she directs us back to the heart issues and wisely guides us into sexual integrity in our own lives.   Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:21 – 2:21) Thanks so much for having me back. It's always a joy.   Laura Dugger: (2:21 – 2:22) Well, I love that you've been a repeat guest many times. So, we get to just dive right in today because I'm going to link all of your previous episodes in the show notes. But to dive in, I'm just curious, as believers, where does your heart break as you see us compromising on God's design for sex?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:22 – 3:31) Hmm. That's such a good question. You know, I think my heart breaks the most in that when we compromise God's design for sexuality, or even when we don't understand it or understand His goodness, it means that there is a breach in our relationship with God.   And so, I am so passionate about what I do, not necessarily because I love talking about sexuality, but because for a lot of people, sexuality represents a wall between them and God, like an issue they can't resolve, or a place of shame that they just can't quite shake free from, or battle with sin that they feel like they're enslaved to. And so, those things mean that there's a limit to how much they invite God into their lives.   And so, for me, that's where my heart breaks the most is, you know, ultimately, we were created for the greatest fellowship with God and anything that gets in the way of that is something that God cares about and something that I care about.   Laura Dugger: (3:32 – 4:03) You say that well, and you've written many books, but in this most recent one, you plainly state one issue when you write, “You will not be able to obey God with your sexual thoughts, while binging shows and music that continually display the exact opposite.”   And I love how practical that is. So, Juli, why do you think this has become so normalized? And I would say, especially in Christian marriages.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (4:05 – 5:58) Yeah, you know, I think a lot of it is that the church has been historically really quiet about sexuality, you know, like we might talk about save sex for marriage, and don't cheat on your husband and that sort of thing. But the gray areas about how we think about our sexuality and kind of what we have the liberty and freedom to engage in, there's kind of silence, or maybe there's legalism.   And I think in that space, what ends up happening is the culture is so forthright with a message about sexuality, like woven throughout every single show that you could stream on any platform, you know, your music on Spotify, even the news you consume, the Instagram feeds, whatever, it's consistently showing you a way to understand sexuality that is contrary to God's design, and the messaging can be so subtle, or so repetitive that we don't even realize we're ingesting it.   And so, it's normal to talk about with your friends, like the latest season of The Bachelor, or, you know, the latest thing that you're streaming that if you really look at it, there's probably 100 references to sexuality that are outside of God's design. And so, we end up just having our mind conformed to this world.   And the scripture says really clearly in Romans 12, that we can't offer ourselves to God while we're still thinking like the world thinks that it requires an act of transformation of our thinking. And I don't know that there's anywhere more than we need this than in the topic of understanding our sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (6:00 – 6:59) Okay, so for I'm thinking of married couples, because I was recently at a wedding shower. And I love a friend from church. Her name is Dawn Karius. And she was giving the devotional and just sharing. You know, it's very easy to get married and fall into this trap. She was talking about what you watch specifically.   And she said, so many couples will watch something together, watch a show before bed, but be really intentional. If that is what you choose to do, then the shows that you're watching, even though you're with your spouse, is that drawing both of you closer to Christ? Because if it's pulling you further away from Christ, it's also pulling you away from one another.   And so, with all of that, and with what you've studied and written about, if a couple's hearing that and or some single person just hearing this, what would be your practical advice or encouragement for them?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (7:00 – 9:29) Yeah, some of it is, we can't live in a bubble. You know, it's, I think that there are some couples will have the conviction that, you know, we're just going to get rid of all of our devices, we're going to get rid of every streaming service. And there's nothing wrong with that decision, you might feel convicted to do that.   But for most couples, I would say, they're like, okay, we live in this world, we need to understand even the world we live in. And so, it's not like we're going to completely be cut off. But are we being discerning about what we consume?   And what are the standards that we might hit where we might just say, “You know what, we don't need to be watching this.” You know, like I can think of one show in particularly that my husband and I were watching. And it was a well-written show. It was exciting. But there was just so much profanity and just gross kind of sexual content that after two or three episodes, we're both just like, “You know what, as good as the show is, we just, this isn't, we're not watching this. Like we need to stop.”   And I think you need to have those discussions and you might have a different level of conviction than your spouse does. And that's okay, but at least have those conversations and you need to follow your conviction.   But then the other thing I would say that is equally important, if not more important, what are you consuming that helps you get God's perspective of sexuality? And what I've found is that a whole lot of Christian married couples know very little about what it looks like to build a healthy sex life in their marriage. And they're not consuming anything that helps them know how to love each other better, how to overcome differences, even how their bodies work, how to focus on one another and enjoy sex in a holy erotic way.   And so, even if you're watching and consuming very little content from the world, but you're not actively pursuing anything that gives you a biblical perspective, you're still going to end up defaulting to what the world says. And so, I think that again, it's equally as important or not, if not more important to be pursuing what's true and what's right and what's good.   Laura Dugger: (9:31 – 9:53) I love that, how you flipped it. And that discernment piece is huge because we don't want to be desensitized to then that we're consuming and we also want to feed on the good. So, I think it even leads to a broader question, again, as Christ followers, how can we recognize if our conscience is being pricked?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (9:54 – 12:05) Yeah, we can start by asking the Lord. You know, I mean, I think it's in, is it Psalm 139, where, you know, David is basically saying, “Search me, oh God, and know my thoughts, you know, show me if there's any offensive way within me.”   I think that's a beautiful prayer as an individual and as a couple, like God, we want to honor you with what we consume in media, with what we think about, would you guide us and would you show us? And then I think we all have that experience of watching something or listening to something or reading something where we're like, “Uh, I don't know, like, this is sort of a gray area. Like, I'm uncomfortable here. I probably shouldn't be watching this.” Or “Wow, that's really, that's really in your face. Like that's really graphic.”   And it's heeding the Holy Spirit when you get those prompts, instead of just pushing through and being like, “Ah, it's not that big of a deal. It's not going to affect me.” Like when you feel that sense of prompting, you respond to it and you say, “All right, I'm going to put this down. I'm going to shut this off.”   And, um, you know, the scripture says that we can become callous to those promptings of the Holy Spirit if we are in a habit of just running right through that. But we become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit when we yield and when we obey.   Um, and so, I think even just keeping track, you know, every day or every week, like where were the times regarding this or anything else that I really felt convicted by the Holy Spirit about maybe something I said about a friend, uh, or about a little white lie I told, you know, where were the times where I really felt the Holy Spirit nudging me and what did I do? Um, where do I need to confess that I didn't respond well? And where do I need to celebrate that? Yes, I listened, I obeyed, I yielded. Um, and so, I think that's a practice we get into of either ignoring that conviction or really yielding to it.   Laura Dugger: (12:06 – 12:28) Hmm. And that gets after the heart issue, which Jesus is so concerned about our heart. And that's a very softened heart approach. Yes. I hope we can have. And as it relates to sexual integrity, then what are some other ways that we need to be on guard so that we're careful not to be misled?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (12:29 – 13:37) Yeah, boy, I think there's just so much conversation. Um, again, even in Christian circles, sometimes around having a negative attitude towards sex, um, kind of accepting some forms of pornography as normal and even good, you know, husband bashing, wife bashing, you know, like complaining, kind of letting the thought feed in your mind of maybe I should have married somebody else.   Maybe that my life would be easier if I, I weren't married to this person. I wish they were this or that. So, sort of that discontent that is natural to feel in marriage. But the question is, what do you do with it? Do you give it space to grow and to nurture, or do you bring that before the Lord?   Um, so, I think those are some of the ways that we want to look at, like, how am I giving the enemy space in my life and in my marriage versus how am I inviting God to really reclaim what's broken here?   Laura Dugger: (13:38 – 14:01) Well, and then even thinking of the other side to guard ourselves from having a critical and judgmental spirit toward others or just having self-righteous pride. Can you educate us on some common reasons why some people may be predisposed to struggle with some certain sexual sins?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (14:02 – 17:20) Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important, um, because the research really shows that some of us are more, I don't know if I'd say it that way, but we are going to be more predetermined maybe to struggle with things like pornography or same-sex attraction, or even hooking up.   And it's never like a one plus one equals two exactly. But there are what we might say indicators or risk factors that make you more vulnerable to those kinds of sexual struggles. And some of them might be unhealthy family dynamics growing up, you know, none of us had a perfect family, but let's say you grew up in a family where one of your parents was like overtly critical towards you all the time.   Maybe you went through a divorce with your parents where, um, you know, at a certain age, you just, your family fell apart and you're kind of looking for that stability and love. People who have experienced sexual trauma in childhood or the teen years are going to be more pre-dispositioned to want to understand that or act that out.   People who might struggle with anxiety. And, you know, some of it is we got to understand that sex, because it elicits dopamine in our brain and oxytocin and endorphins, which are all really feel good kind of experiences and hormones and neurotransmitters. When we had a sexual experience at a young age, our brain can learn, “Oh, this is how I deal with stress. This is how I deal with depression. This is how I deal with loneliness.”   So, a lot of times when you talk to somebody who has an ongoing struggle with a sexual temptation or sin, it's because they've learned as a pattern from maybe the time they were 10 years old or 12 years old or 15 years old, that this is how I dealt with the stress in my family. This is how I dealt with when my father died. This is how I dealt with when I was sexually abused. Like this was the way that I found to self-regulate and to self-medicate and to find comfort.   And that can be masturbation. It can be pornography or again, you know, acting out sexually. And so, for people who have that kind of story, and this might be your spouse, or this might be against somebody that you're looking at and judging to just say, “You need to stop that behavior,” is often not going to be enough. They need to do the work of really looking at what am I using sex for? What are the wounds that I'm using sex to cover up?   And how do I actually get the healing I need and find healthier and safer ways for me to cope with negative emotions? And that's why groups are really important for people who have sexual struggles. Counseling is really important. And again, that long journey of healing and freedom, not just a one-time decision that I'm going to try to never do this again.   Laura Dugger: (17:21 – 20:19) Love that word freedom, even because that hope is available. And just pointing out how you said this is not deterministic. That's not what we're saying is if you experience something, you will act out sexually. But I agree with you that it is fascinating and helpful to hear the correlation of certain things that happen, especially in childhood, and how that plays out long-term.   And I am blanking on which guest it was on The Savvy Sauce, but somebody was enlightening me. I think it was for females that if they were sexually abused, typically before a certain age, then they were more likely to struggle in marriage with wanting to completely avoid sex. But then if it was after a certain age, that it was completely opposite where they maybe used sex to medicate, or they were very aggressive and even would act out, let's say in single years, that they would sleep around with a bunch of partners if they had been wounded.   And so, I just think it just, it helps us to not be judgmental of one another. We don't know the full story.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (20:20 – 21:09) Yes. Yeah. There's always more there than we usually realize at first. And, you know, this plays out a lot in marriage because there are a lot of women who are married to guys who are addicted to pornography. And that's a deeply painful dynamic. That's really hard.   But to understand that your husband didn't want to have this struggle, often doesn't know how to get out of it, you know, gives you compassion. It doesn't mean that you look the other way, you need to get help, and you need to insist on getting help. But it does give you empathy and compassion that there's something underlying this and feeding it. It's not just, “Oh, I think I'm going to, you know, look at porn and hurt my wife again,” that there's always a deeper dynamic at work.   Laura Dugger: (21:10 – 21:50) Absolutely. And even an example from your book, I'll just read a quote where you said, “I spoke with a man who runs a sexual addiction program. He told me he had never met someone with sexual addiction, who did not also have significant sexual or psychological trauma in their past.”   And I think it goes along with what we're saying. But if we also then flip it and look at more of the positive side, how can we rightly prioritize connection and intimacy in marriage as God intended?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (21:53 – 24:24) I think first of all, we need to be convinced that this is worth it. You know, when we look at everything there is to do in life, there's so many worthy demands on our time. You know, from I want my house to look nice, and we need to make friends and we need to be an outreach to our community. And our kids are taking a lot of time and they should, and they've got all their activities and our church needs our help. Like when do you have time to do all this? And then, oh yeah, prioritize your marriage.   And I think we have to become convinced that if we're not working on our marriage, and specifically if we're not working on the sexual connection in marriage, then all those other things have the potential to fall apart. That the way I've learned it over time is that sex is never going to be a neutral issue in your marriage. It's either going to be something that is bonding you together and causing you to work on the deeper levels of intimacy, even as you talk through sexual difficulties, or it's going to be something not immediately, but over time, that becomes a wedge between you.   It might start as a wedge of resentment of my needs aren't getting met, or I feel like you're objectifying me or you're putting pressure on me. Or it might be a deeper wedge of a pornography addiction or something that's not being addressed. Or I don't trust my husband because of my trauma. And those things don't just stay dormant. The wedge becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until you get to the place where now you're not comfortable being in the same room anymore and you feel like roommates. And then now one of you is attracted to somebody else and the story plays on.   And there are very wonderful godly men and women who have gotten married with every purpose to stay together. But a wedge like this has grown over time to the point where they're now thinking about divorce or one of them has cheated on the other. And so, we have to be convinced that honoring God in our lives means prioritizing our marriage, and it means working on this intimate aspect of our marriage so that we can be a stable foundation for our families and our churches and our communities.   Laura Dugger: (24:26 – 24:39) And so, if we're getting as practical as possible, what are the best practices that you've seen in married couples who are happily married? How have you experienced that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (24:40 – 28:04) Yeah. I'll put it in kind of like a cliche sort of way because I think sometimes that's catchy. Number one, I would say they're couples who will resist the drift, who will repair the rift, and who will adjust to the shift.   So, I can kind of break that down a little bit. But you know, the first thing is resisting the drift of you can go weeks without meaningfully connecting with your spouse. And I don't just mean sexually, but I mean like eye to eye, you know, just loving touch, just connecting to their hearts. And so, couples who know how to resist that drift, like they have regular times built into their calendar where this is where we connect every day. Like even for 10 minutes, this is where we hold each other's hands, we look at each other in the eye, we really connect with what's in your heart, how are you? And they have regular rhythms of once a week or once every other week, we're going to go out and do something fun together, just the two of us. We've worked through what sex looks like in this season. Like how many times do we want to have sex? Are we scheduling that? How are we making sure that's a priority? And so, that's the resisting the drift.   And the second one is repairing the rift. And at every marriage, there are going to be things that tear you apart. And sometimes those things might be sexual in nature, like a temptation, an emotional affair, pornography use, sometimes it's going to be something else where you have a deep disagreement that you can't resolve on your own. And you need to be courageous enough to reach out for help and say, like, if we don't get help, if we don't address this issue, like it's going to become something that tears us apart. Any couple that you meet who is happily married for like 30 years or more, they can tell you a story of when they had a rift, and the kind of help that really address that.   And then I think the third thing is adjusting to the shift. And in even the normal stages of marriage, there are shifts that happen. Like, you know, I'm in the stage right now where me and the people my age are going through biological changes with menopause and with aging. And, you know, some people are going through becoming grandparents and retirement. And there's all these shifts that are happening even naturally. There's other couples that are younger who are going through the shift of pregnancy and battling infertility. And some people are going through cancer. And there are things that happen that require you to shift your expectations. And to not just wish that it is like it used to be. But this is the marriage we have now. Here are the circumstances we have now. Here are the bodies we have now. How do we learn to love each other and embrace this season, given the changes that we're experiencing?   And so, I think that's a framework that I've seen healthy couples navigate over time that really fosters intimacy.   Laura Dugger: (28:05 – 29:29) That is incredible. I love how you put that. And I've shared with you before that my background is in Christian sex therapy. So, sex is a topic that does come up a lot and people feel comfortable sharing or asking questions. So, just in regular conversation, I want to recap two conversations that kind of show stances on both ends of the spectrum. And I'd love to hear your wisdom on how to respond to each one.   So, first, there was a Christian married woman with children, and she was teaching younger women to say yes to every single sexual advance from their husband. And she said, “If your husband has the higher drive, and he wants to have sex twice a day, then consider yourself lucky. And don't ever say no, because your body is not your own.” Yeah, it's hard to recap. So, this is not my perspective. So, sharing both ends.   So, that was one person. And then on the other end, I've heard a woman tell me, “You know, I just didn't feel like having sex for about a year and a half after we had our baby. So, I just told my husband, you're going to have to wait.”   So, loaded question, but Dr. Juli, how would you respond to each of those?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (29:29 – 32:31) Well, Laura, I feel like you probably would have just as good of response as I would to those. Yeah, I like that you're presenting those as two extremes, because they are two extremes. And I think both extremes kind of miss the heart. We want to be able to say yes to sex and intimacy. And being able to say yes means also being able to say no.   In that first situation, essentially, what is going to end up happening is that that wife is going to start feeling like my husband wants me for sex. And I don't have the capacity to enjoy it twice a day. I'm starting to feel like an object or used. And the husband is never going to learn that covenant love requires self-denial. And at every level, you know, what did, what did Paul say to husbands in Ephesians 5, like love your wife as you love your own body and be willing to lay down your, your life for your wife. And that means being sensitive to the fact that she doesn't have the same sexual appetite as you do. She doesn't have the same biology you do, that it actually can be physically painful, emotionally traumatic for a wife to have sex when she's not physically ready. Really, that couple is not working on intimacy. They're, they're kind of reinforcing a pattern that sex is about the husband getting his needs and desires met only through the wife without considering her. And that might work for short term, but that's not building intimacy in the long term. And it's not teaching either of them. And that wife needs to learn her own sexual desires and patterns and be able to communicate those to her husband. So, that's what I would say in that first one.   And the second one, essentially, you have a wife kind of having that more selfish perspective of, I only have sex when I want it and on my terms, instead of considering the husband. And, you know, how do I focus on him? How do I work on experiencing sexual desire? How do I foster that? Because it's important for my husband, it's important for our marriage. And I don't want to be selfish.   And so, I think both of those situations are kind of approaching sex where one person gets to be selfish, and the other person has to sacrifice. That's ministry, that's not intimacy. And so, we really want to be at a place where both of us, the higher desire one and the lower desire one, are learning what does it look like to really love well, to love sacrificially and to communicate the ways that I feel loved. I don't know, what would you add to that or change?   Laura Dugger: (32:31 – 33:11) That's why I asked you, you said that beautifully, better than I could have responded. And again, you're getting back to the heart of it and pointing us back to Jesus with each answer. And, you know, commonly people do struggle with having a safe place where they can ask candid questions about sex.   So, I am going to throw some more at you. And some of these are ones that you wrote about. But just to give us a little taste, even of the book, or if somebody has a burning question like this, I'd love your healthy response.   So, how do you respond when people ask, “How far is too far to go in a dating relationship?”   Dr. Juli Slattery: (33:14 – 36:32) Yeah, I think people are looking for a line, you know, like, as long as I don't cross this line, are we good? And of course, I think their traditional line would be as long as you're not having intercourse. But I think that misses the larger context of the purpose of sex. I've had to be convicted of this in my own life. And we talked very early in our conversation about how we've just sort of ingested messages from the culture. And the culture says that healthy sexuality is an expression of how I feel, right? So, so if I feel safe with you, if I feel romantically connected to you, if I feel sexually attracted to you, then it would be healthy for me to engage sexually with you. And then Christians would come and say, yes, but as long as you don't cross this line. So, that's sort of the narrative that I think a lot of us have heard in the church.   But if we look at, from a biblical perspective, God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. Okay, let that sink in for a minute. God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. He designed it to be a seal and a celebration of covenant, of the choice that a man and a woman make to covenant their lives to one another. And for them to say, just like I give you my whole life, I promise faithfulness to you. I promise that we are becoming one as a family. We have now a physical way to symbolize that in becoming one with our bodies. And so, even if I feel romantically attached to somebody I'm not married to, I don't act on that. Or even if I don't feel romantically attached to my husband, we work on our sex life because we're in covenant.   And so, when you begin to understand sex from that standpoint, you answer that question differently of how far can I go? Why are you sharing your body with another person when you haven't shared your life with them? And, you know, I think that the standard is not legalistic, but the heart of the question is a lot, that's a harder question. You know, like it says, and I think 2 Thessalonians or 1 Thessalonians, you know, Paul says, the will of God is that you do not engage in sexual immorality. Don't take advantage of a brother or sister.   And how many times in dating relationships do you look back and you're like, “Wow, I gave too much of myself to that person or I took too much of myself from that person. Like we engaged in things that now we're broken apart. Like I wish I could take back.” And so, what does it look like to honor each other? What does it look like to honor the Lord? So, I think those kinds of questions help you get to the heart of how do we steward dating relationships a lot better than looking for a line we're not supposed to cross.   Laura Dugger: (36:33 – 37:31) When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast? Did a friend share it with you? Will you be willing to be that friend now and text five other friends or post on your socials anything about The Savvy Sauce that you love? If you share your favorite episodes, that is how we continue to expand our reach and get the good news of Jesus Christ in more ears across the world.   So, we need your help.   Another way to help us grow is to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Each of these suggestions will cost you less than a minute, but it will be a great benefit to us. Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you.   As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? So, how would you respond to that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (37:32 – 39:20) Boy, this is a hot topic. There are people who have really strong opinions on this. You're saying, do I use a friend's preferred names and pronouns?   And I think the fact that you have a friendship means that you can have a deeper conversation about the meaning of the names and pronouns. And I think that deeper conversation needs to happen. Because, you know, ultimately we don't like, we don't want to just say, “Oh yeah, whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. Truth doesn't matter.” But on the other hand, we really want to get to the spiritual issue underneath this. And there's a, there's a big difference between somebody who doesn't know the Lord, doesn't know where you stand on any of this, and somebody that you can engage in a conversation with and seek wisdom on.   I think there, there's probably more latitude to use somebody's preferred name than pronouns. And I think in friendships, sometimes you can work that through and just say, you know, “Hey, I love you. I understand where you're coming from. I'm going to try my best to use the name that you're asking. But the pronoun is something that I'm not comfortable with. And here's why. And just like I'm, I want to understand where you are. I hope that you would have grace and understand where I am.” So, in a friendship, you're able to have those kinds of conversations. Whereas if it's a coworker or it's a stranger or a neighbor, sometimes we can't have that level of conversation. And so, I, we might choose to handle the situation a little differently.   Laura Dugger: (39:21 – 39:36) That's good. A hundred percent truth, a hundred percent love or kindness. And what if somebody asks, how much attention should we be giving these secondary issues as believers?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (39:39 – 41:03) Boy, I, I think first of all, the secondary issues come out of the primary issues. So, the primary issue, and you know, the issue I wrote Surrendered Sexuality is about is if my life belongs to the Lord, then my whole life needs to belong to Him, including how I think about cultural issues, including how I treat my neighbor.   And so, I don't see them as secondary issues. I see them as an outgrowth of the primary issue. I think when they become secondary issues are when we argue with other believers about it and it becomes the most important thing. Like I put you in a category based on, will you use preferred names and pronouns? And then I think we're missing what God calls us to.   The primary issue is that we want to honor God and we want to love each other. And so, let's keep going back to that primary issue. How do I love my neighbor well? How do I honor God's truth well? How do I pursue unity within the body of Christ well, as we're navigating some of these secondary issues? So, you know, like if we're going back to the primary issue, it means that we have to talk about the secondary issues, but we talk about them in light of what's primary.   Laura Dugger: (41:04 – 41:17) I like that. And I just have three more of these kind of tricky questions. So, another one, does pornography addiction qualify as reasons for a biblical divorce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (41:20 – 42:50) I would say, first of all, technically, if we look at the word for sexual immorality in the scripture, which is porneia, we would say, yeah, you know, pornography does qualify for that.   But for the person who's asking this, maybe the woman who's asking this, I would say, why do you want to get out of the marriage? And what Jesus said is Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart. And I think a more important question is where's your heart and where's your husband's heart? Because I've seen people with pornography addictions who have really open hearts towards healing, and they're willing to get the help that they need. They're repentant. They're willing to do the work. They're willing to go through even a time of separation to show that they're serious about that work.   And then there are people who have very hard hearts of, “This is who I am. I might go through the motions, but I'm really not interested in change.” And so, I think the pornography addiction is less the issue than the posture of the person's heart and their willingness to work. And if your spouse is willing to work, then I think it's on us to have soft hearts too, and to be open to the work that God can do.   Laura Dugger: (42:51 – 43:34) That's good because saying you have to zoom out and see more of the story in that stance, because that's very different. Somebody who's working on it and hates the struggle and is wanting to break free versus being married to a narcissist who is abusing you and treating you in a certain way and addicted to pornography. So, you point out well that all of these questions have more to them.   Okay. So, two more, if a spouse has had an emotional affair in the past with a coworker, but they still work with this person, what is the wise thing to do and how should they handle it if their spouse is uncomfortable with them still working there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (43:36 – 44:33) Yeah, boy, that's something that I would want to seek counseling on. You and your spouse really need to get with a counselor and talk that through. The generic advice in that situation would be to get a different job, to not have that relationship still a temptation or available.   But there are sometimes very extenuating circumstances where that's not a possibility, or at least for now, that's not a possibility. And so, I would really encourage you to meet with a third party to sort through the details of your particular situation. Because it could be that your spouse isn't willing to take that hard step of cutting off that relationship, or it could be that they're willing, but again, there's extenuating circumstances. And I would really want a wise person who is engaging with you to help you navigate that.   Laura Dugger: (44:34 – 44:44) But I love that, how you highlight that something to look for though, is that you would hope your spouse would be willing to make that right, especially if they were the offending.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (44:46 – 44:46) Okay.   Laura Dugger: (44:47 – 45:00) And then also, Juli, because scripture does talk about turning the other cheek, does that mean it's the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (45:02 – 47:41) Absolutely not. If you were in an abusive marriage, you are not doing your spouse any good. You are allowing your spouse to be in a place where they're destroying their own life and they're destroying the people that they love.   Now you say, okay, where biblically do we see this? We see that Jesus, he says in John, he says, “I laid down my life for my sheep. I lay it down willingly. No one has the authority to take it from me. I have the authority to lay it down and I have the authority to take it up again.” And we see Him living that out with religious leaders who were after Him all the time, who wanted to stone Him, who were accusing Him of things. It says over and over again that Jesus escaped from them. He just got out of there until it was time that the Father said, now is the time for you to give yourself for the world.   So, we take that principle and we say, Jesus was not abused. Jesus did not let Himself be abused. He gave Himself as a lamb to the slaughter as a sacrifice for the Father and for the world. But that's very different. Up until that time, we see Him have great boundaries. We see Him not get, it even says He didn't entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. I mean, He had boundaries with people that could have hurt Him.   And I also love when we see this in the story of King David and Saul, when Saul is chasing David, Saul is abusive, right? He wants to kill David. And so, David escapes. And there's a situation where David has the power or the opportunity to kill Saul and he doesn't do it. And then Saul just is struck by his conscience, and he comes back to David. He goes, “You're a better man than I am. I'm so sorry. You know, come back with me and I'll treat you well.” And even though David doesn't take revenge, he doesn't go back with Saul. He's still, he's like, “You go your way. I'll go my way. I'm going to let the Lord judge between us.”   And I think that's a great model. If you're in any kind of abusive relationship, you don't take revenge, but you also don't stay in that situation. You go your way, let them go their way, and you let God judge between you. And I think we see that over and over again in scripture.   Laura Dugger: (47:42 – 48:19) I think that is so well said. And it reminds me of a somewhat recent conversation in 2025 with Stacey Womack who's saying with domestic violence, really the way God would see it is child abuse. And that kind of helps our paradigm because we are His child.   And she elaborates on that. So, I said that that was the last one, but I actually thought of one more as it relates to our children.   So, is it reasonable to assume that once a child has a smartphone, 100% of them will be exposed to pornography?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (48:21 – 49:15) Yeah, it is. And I would say not just once they have a smartphone, because I know with one of my kids, we delayed the smartphone decision, but he had a learning disability that required him to have an iPad for school. And somehow, even though we locked down all the apps, somehow he's able to access it through that. Or it can be a gaming system, or it can be a friend's phone. And so, having a smartphone or device like that certainly makes it more probable.   But you know, like our kids are surrounded by screens and technology, not just what's in our home, but in other people's homes and at school. And so, I think it's safe to assume, unfortunately, that yes, 100% of our kids are going to be exposed to pornography, probably by the time they're 13 or 14.   Laura Dugger: (49:16 – 49:31) And sadly, some much younger than that. But even if there's parental controls, or filters put on, it is just something on my heart that we have to be so vigilant against.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (49:32 – 50:12) Yeah, no, I felt like when, you know, I have three boys, and when they were all three kind of in those teen years, I felt like I was trying to plug holes in a boat, and there'd be new ones popping up all the time. Whether it's like apps, or you know, things that you think are completely safe. Somehow, pornography can get through.   And our kids are smart, like they know the workarounds to the parental things. And that's why we just need to have conversation after conversation, just discipling them, not just protecting them from pornography, but discipling them through what they're inevitably going to be exposed to.   Laura Dugger: (50:13 – 51:05) That's a great point that not just being reactive, but proactive. I think why I have such a heart for this is because practicing and doing therapy and having so many people come in those wounds, that if that addiction gets a stronghold, and that pornography use, it just can wreak havoc in people long term. And so, if we can do that hard work of discipling early on, it is such a blessing to our children, to the generation.   So, I'm just so grateful for your candid responses. And I think it's also a helpful reminder just to never take on a burden that was never meant for us to carry. So, are there any ways that God has taught you to not try and do His business?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (51:07 – 52:16) Yeah. Boy, that's such a great question. I've had to come to the conclusion that I can't convince anyone of right and wrong. You know, like, I can't convince anyone that pornography is wrong, or gay marriage is wrong, or you know, like, that's not my job. My job is to walk with the Lord with integrity and faithfulness and to testify as to who He is.   And so much of this work, whether we're talking about marriage or our friends or our children, so much of this work has to be the Lord's work. And you reach a stage with your kids when they hit those teen years, where you realize the things my kids most need, I can't give them. I can't give them a relationship with God. I can't give them the desire to follow and seek the Lord. Like, I can model that for them. I can encourage them. But that is between them and the Lord. And if I try to control that, I'm just getting in the way of the work that God wants to do in their lives.   Laura Dugger: (52:18 – 52:33) Goodness, I will need to write that down and reflect on that. That is so good, Juli. And there's still so much more that you could share with us.   So, where is your preferred place that we can go online and continue learning from you?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (52:34 – 52:48) Yeah, I would say two places. Number one, our website is authenticintimacy.com. And the second one is the podcast that I do called Java with Juli. It goes along with The Savvy Sauce, you know, like they kind of go together.   Laura Dugger: (52:49 – 53:11) Yes, absolutely. We will certainly link to all of that in the show notes for today's episode.   And you're familiar, I've asked you many times before, because we are called savvy, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So, as my final question for you today, Dr. Juli, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (53:13 – 53:58) Oh, I don't even remember how I answered this the last few times. I think I may have said this before, but I think reading the dead old guys is one of my savvy sauce, like reading people who didn't live in this generation who loved the Lord.   And learning from them is just, that's probably taught me more discernment than anything, because they just cut right through the cultural noise that I think sometimes can blind us. And they really help me see my heart for what it is and help me really want to pursue God at a deeper level.   Laura Dugger: (53:59 – 54:03) Wow. Any specific recommendations that have been personal favorites there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:04 – 54:22) Yeah, I love A.W. Tozer. I love many of Andrew Murray's books, particularly Humility and Absolute Surrender. And C.S. Lewis is another great one, Mere Christianity. So, those are some that I would recommend you start with.   Laura Dugger: (54:23 – 54:44) That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that.   And Juli, it's just always such a delight to get to share an hour of conversation with you. And you are just this beautiful mixture of bold and gentle and humble, all combined into one. So, thank you for being my returning guest today.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:44 – 54:49) Oh, thank you. And it's such a pleasure to be with you. Thanks for your great questions.   Laura Dugger: (54:51 – 58:33) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

You did everything right. You were the smart couple. The committed couple. The high-achieving, “we've got this” couple. Date nights. Careers. Kids. Goals. You worked hard. You showed up. You performed well. So how did infidelity happen to you? If you've ever thought, “We were the perfect couple. This doesn't make sense,” this episode will open your eyes in the most grounded, compassionate way. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Rachel Dornianu of Sage Counseling & Wellness to unpack the hidden dynamics behind the “perfect couple” myth — and why high-achieving, Type A, perfectionistic relationships are often more vulnerable than they appear. We explore how perfectionism, people-pleasing, high sensitivity, emotional avoidance, and the Gottman “Four Horsemen” quietly erode intimacy over time — even in relationships that look beautiful on the outside. If you're navigating infidelity, feeling blindsided, or wondering how something could fall apart when you both “did everything right,” this episode will help you understand what really happened — and what healing actually requires. Top 3 Takeaways Perfection Isn't the Same as Connection High achievement, polished date nights, and shared goals can mask roommate syndrome, emotional loneliness, and avoidance. When couples stop pausing, attuning, and truly connecting, resentment and unmet needs quietly build beneath the surface. Performance is not intimacy. Infidelity Is Often a Maladaptive Coping Mechanism While betrayal is devastating, it's frequently rooted in avoidance, trauma, shame, unmet emotional needs, and poor coping skills — not pure moral corruption. Understanding the why doesn't excuse the behavior, but it creates clarity. And clarity is the first step toward healing. Healing Requires Addressing What Was Already There Perfectionism. People-pleasing. High sensitivity. Fawning. Walking on eggshells. Avoidance. Emotional flooding. Infidelity doesn't create these patterns — it exposes them. Whether you choose to stay or separate, the real work is learning how to regulate your nervous system, communicate honestly, and stop performing so you can start being. Favorite Quote “Perfection isn't intimacy. Performance isn't connection. And infidelity doesn't create the cracks — it exposes the ones that were already there.” Loving this show? Ready to go deeper? If this episode hit close to home and you're thinking, “This is exactly what happened in my relationship,” you don't have to figure this out alone. Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and begin making sense of the chaos. If you're ready for personalized support — whether through Voxer coaching, private sessions, or deeper transformational work — visit www.LoraCheadle.com. And if this conversation resonated, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that perfection is not the goal — connection is. Favorite Quote #PerfectCoupleMyth #InfidelityRecovery #BetrayalHealing #PerfectionismInMarriage #HighAchievingWomen #RelationshipAfterInfidelity #EmotionalIntimacy #MarriageAfterAffair #FlauntPodcast   About Rachel Dorneanu Rachel Dorneanu (she/her) is a licensed therapist, AASECT- certified sex therapist, and board-certified coach specializing in Anxiety, HSPs, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, and Sex Therapy, with a passion for helping people reconnect with their bodies, reduce shame, and find freedom in their wellness journey. She holds a Master's in Counseling and brings over 8 years of experience working with millennial women and moms. Through her work as a therapist and coach, Rachel integrates evidence-based approaches with compassionate education to normalize topics often left in the dark—like pelvic pain, pleasure, and embodiment. She is known for her relatable, down-to-earth style and her ability to make complex or uncomfortable topics accessible and affirming. Outside of her professional life, Rachel enjoys practicing yoga, spending time with her husband and 2 children, and traveling.

I'm taking a short hiatus from the podcast to rest and reset. In the meantime, I encourage you to stay connected to at least one person, keep a small daily routine, and revisit the few episodes that truly helped you instead of consuming everything at once.Build a simple support list, do one meaningful thing each week, and please reach out to professional or crisis support if you're struggling — this podcast is support, not a substitute for care.I'll be back soon. And more importantly, I want you to be here when I return.Thrive With Leo Coaching: If you want to reduce your psychological pain, regain your purpose and forge your own path, go to www.thrivewithleo.com to begin your journey.If you or anyone you know is considering suicide or self-harm, or is anxious, depressed, upset, or needs to talk, there are people who want to help:In the US: Crisis Text Line: Text CRISIS to 741741 for free, confidential crisis counseling. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or 988The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386Outside the US:International Association for Suicide Prevention lists a number of suicide hotlines by country. Click here to find them.

Adriaan Pretorious delves into Infidelity & Forgiveness

In this encore episode, I talk about something that is foundational to healing after infidelity: learning to trust yourself again by honoring what you truly want. After betrayal, it's so easy to lose your footing. You question your instincts. You second-guess your judgment. You stop trusting your own voice. But one of the most powerful ways to rebuild that trust is by reconnecting with your desires — even the ones that feel small, selfish, or uncomfortable. I walk you through why so many of us struggle to ask for what we want, how people-pleasing and a reflected sense of self keep us stuck, and how honoring your desires actually accelerates your emotional growth. When you lean into what you want, you build integrity, emotional maturity, and strength. You stop abandoning yourself. In this episode, I cover: Your desires are not random — they are invitations to growth Honoring what you want rebuilds self-trust after betrayal Tension is not a sign you're wrong — it's a sign you're growing You can stop people-pleasing and still be loving If you're ready to rebuild your foundation and trust yourself again, I would love to support you. Reach out. You don't have to do this alone. More from me: Please leave a rating and review if you like our podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/healfrominfidelity Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/ Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2026 Andrea Giles

Three Point Stance: Tony Clark's infidelity + Maxx Crosby to the Patriots

I want to read you a short email from a married man in a dead bedroom.There's no cheating.No screaming fights.No dramatic collapse.Just a quiet decision to stop bringing it up.I break down how a lot of men end up in sexless marriages not because they chose them — but because they slowly became passive. They stopped rocking the boat. They stopped advocating for themselves. They let things happen instead of taking control.We'll talk about:Why men confuse passivity with patienceHow avoiding conflict slowly erodes self-respectWhy guilt replaces desire in long-term relationshipsHow silence becomes the unspoken agreementAnd why wanting intimacy doesn't make you selfishThis isn't about demanding sex or blaming your partner. It's about agency — and what happens when a man quietly gives it up.If you've ever felt like your relationship just drifted into something you didn't choose, this one will probably hit close to home.Join the Brotherhood! https://helpformen.com/join

The Questions Everyone Asks After Betrayal (But Are Sometimes Hard to Put Into Words) The Questions Everyone Asks After Betrayal (But Are Sometimes Hard to Put Into Words) begin long before you say them out loud. After betrayal, the questions don't stop. They wake you up at 2 a.m. They loop in your mind while you're driving. They rise in your throat… and sometimes you're too afraid to even ask them. Why does this hurt so much? Will I ever trust again? Should I stay or leave? Am I broken? Will I survive the answer? In this powerful, nervous-system–aware episode, Lora answers the most common questions people search for after infidelity and betrayal — not with platitudes, but with grounded insight, lived experience, and deep compassion. More importantly, she helps you listen for the question beneath the question — the one that's really asking: Am I safe? Am I going to be okay? Can I trust myself again? If you've ever Googled your pain late at night, wondered how long healing takes, or feared that asking the wrong question might make everything worse, this episode is for you. You are not wrong for having questions. You are not weak for needing reassurance. And you are not broken. Top 3 Takeaways The question beneath the question is always about safety. Whether you're asking why it hurts, how long healing takes, or whether you should stay or go — underneath it all is a deeper question: Am I safe? Can I trust myself again? Healing is not linear — but it is possible. The nervous system needs time, regulation, and support. Feeling better is not the same as feeling regulated — and that distinction matters. Trust is rebuilt inside you first. You cannot rely on your partner to restore your safety. Rebuilding self-trust, alignment, and internal steadiness is the foundation for everything else. Favorite Quote “The most important work after betrayal isn't answering the loudest question — it's listening for the question beneath the question.” In This Episode, We Explore: Why betrayal hurts more than you imagined Why your nervous system feels overloaded How long healing really takes Why “stay or go” is often the wrong first question Why triggers persist (and what they actually mean) Whether relationships can truly recover Why you might be afraid to ask certain questions How to listen for the question beneath the question Couples Q&A Invitation If you're in a relationship and have questions about rebuilding trust, repair, reconciliation, or what's realistic after infidelity, we want to hear from you. Lora and her husband, Sean, will be recording a special follow-up episode answering your top couples questions — not as experts pretending it's easy, but as two people who have walked this path. Send your questions to:  Lora@LoraCheadle.com Ask the real ones. The awkward ones. The ones you're afraid to say out loud. Ready for Support? If you're thinking, I don't just need answers — I need support, Lora works privately with: Betrayed partners Couples navigating repair And yes, the partner who betrayed Accountability and compassion can coexist. And healing is possible when both are present. To explore working together, schedule your first session here:  www.IntroductorySession.com LOVE THE SHOW? TAKE THE NEXT STEP Don't just listen—start healing. Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. https://workplace-burnout.com/the-top-3-ways-you-betray-yourself-every-day-and-how-to-stop/ If you're ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let's talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.  Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again. About Lora: Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, TEDx speaker, and author of FLAUNT! and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal. After uncovering her husband's 15-year affair, she turned her own pain into purpose—helping high-achieving women reclaim their identity, power, and joy. A trauma-aware coach, somatic therapist, and former attorney, Lora blends legal insight with emotional and spiritual healing for full-spectrum recovery. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT  READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you've always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It's a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA25 for 25% off your order!

The Buck Reising Show Hr 1 - Worst Sports Infidelity Scandals, NFL Headlines & SEC ObservationsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Ann” recently found out her husband was unfaithful, he wants to put it past them and move on, she can't yet and wants to know if she ever will…

The Buck Reising Show Hr 1 - Worst Sports Infidelity Scandals, NFL Headlines & SEC ObservationsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The first 30 days after discovering betrayal can feel like emotional chaos. Shock. Rage. Numbness. Obsession. Hope. Despair. All before lunch. In this episode, Infidelity recovery coach - Luke Shillings breaks down what actually matters in the immediate aftermath of discovery, and the common mistakes that can quietly make things worse. This isn't about long-term healing or whether you should stay or leave. It's about stabilising yourself when your nervous system is on fire. You'll learn: Why timeframes can become weapons Why you shouldn't make permanent decisions in a temporary state The danger of trying to “solve” betrayal like a logic puzzle How to create rules of engagement instead of emotional extremes The subtle way children can become emotional amplifiers Why rushing forgiveness can backfire How to stop searching for certainty and start building stability If you're in the early days, overwhelmed, unsure, and questioning everything, this episode will help you slow down and take the next right step. Because right now, you don't need the whole path. You need stability. Key Takeaways You are not failing because you're emotionally unstable, you're in shock Don't use imaginary timelines to measure your progress Avoid making permanent identity decisions while dysregulated Structure should hold your emotions, not replace them Boundaries are about clarity, not punishment Reassurance with children should stabilise, not amplify fear Forgiveness is not a switch, and you don't need to rush it More information does not equal more safety Choose one or two anchors instead of chasing every new idea Who This Episode Is For Anyone in the first weeks after discovering an affair Betrayed partners feeling emotionally volatile Listeners stuck between “fight for it” and “burn it down” Parents navigating early co-parenting chaos after discovery Reflective individuals who don't want to make decisions they regret later A Grounding Reminder You don't need to decide your future in week two. You need to stabilise your present. Healing isn't about speed. It's about staying aligned with yourself while the storm passes. Support & Next Steps If you're in the early days after betrayal and feel overwhelmed by conflicting advice, you don't have to navigate it alone. Through one-to-one coaching and The After the Affair Collective, Luke helps betrayed partners build stability, clarity, and emotional authority, without rushing decisions or suppressing truth. Learn more at lifecoachluke.com You don't need certainty yet. You need support that helps you think clearly. Connect with Luke: Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Instagram: @mylifecoachluke Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

"If you don't have that level of intimacy, I'm sorry, you're friends." Infidelity usually doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts in the silence. When couples stop talking honestly, stop checking in, stop being curious about each other, something shifts. Intimacy cools. Resentment builds. And before anyone realizes it, the relationship feels more like a partnership of logistics than a connection between lovers.  Nikki Corbett makes the case that cheating is rarely just about sex. It's about feeling unseen. Unheard. Unwanted. Men often experience that loss through the absence of sex. Women often experience it through emotional distance. But underneath it all, both want the same thing: closeness. Nikki also pushes back on the shame surrounding divorce and past relationships, questioning why growth is treated like guilt—especially for women.  Nikki is the host of The Scarlet Edit, where she dives into infidelity, divorce, and complex relationship dynamics. After her own divorce and a five-year relationship with a married man, she decided to speak openly about the lessons most people keep private.  Learn more & connect:    https://nikki-corbett.com/  You can also find Nikki on:  YouTube  Instagram  LinkedIn  Facebook  Also in this episode:  Ashley Madison  The Scarlet Letter  Susan Boyle  You're invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you're there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books. 

Book your call: https://jordanapodaca.com/#free-call Can infidelity actually be traumatic? The discovery of betrayal doesn't merely lead to anger or sadness. For some people, it can trigger intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and a deep loss of safety that feels shockingly similar to PTSD. If that is you, book a free call to discuss how you can heal from this and move forward. On our call, we'll uncover what's really keeping you stuck and map out exactly how to help you feel calm, safe, and in control again. Everyone's process is unique, but many of my private clients notice meaningful change within just a few sessions. Book Your Free Strategy Call Now: https://jordanapodaca.com/#free-call --------------------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 The Moment You Discover Infidelity 00:50 When Betrayal Feels Like Trauma 01:30 Can Infidelity Actually Cause PTSD? 02:22 What Trauma Really Means 03:12 How Betrayal Activates the Brain's Threat System 04:01 Common Betrayal Trauma Symptoms 05:08 Who Is Most Vulnerable & Why It's Often Dismissed --------------------------------------------------------------------- JJA Consulting LLC • Fully insured through Alternative Balance LLC • Based in Michigan • Sessions via Zoom • Confidential and results-based. Disclaimer Jordan is not a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional. His services are for educational and coaching purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any mental or medical condition. Individual results vary. If you are in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a licensed mental-health provider or emergency services. Summary of Terms and Conditions Educational Purpose Only: Coaching and hypnosis sessions are for personal development and educational purposes only. Not Therapy or Medical Treatment: These services are not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychiatric, or medical care. Results Vary: Individual results vary depending on many factors. No specific outcome is guaranteed. Your Responsibility: You are responsible for your participation, decisions, and well-being before, during, and after sessions. You agree to remain coachable and follow the Practitioner's lead regarding session spacing. No Refunds: All sales are final except as required by law. We commit to working with you until the specific result is achieved, provided you remain committed to the process. Confidentiality: All private sessions are confidential except where disclosure is required by law. Intellectual Property: All session materials and methods are owned by JJA Consulting LLC and may not be shared or reproduced. Code of Conduct: We reserve the right to refuse or end services for disruptive, abusive, or unsafe behavior. Results-Based Model: You are purchasing a result, not a time-based subscription. We do not offer weekly check-in calls or "venting" sessions. We meet only when necessary to achieve the specific result. By scheduling or purchasing services, you agree to the full Terms and Conditions. You further agree that reasonable updates to these Terms to clarify the spirit of the agreement may apply to our engagement. FULL TERMS: https://jordanapodaca.com/#terms Subscribe to The Infidelity Recovery Podcast on Soundwise

Can a marriage survive infidelity?This week I spoke with Renelle Nelson, a licensed marriage and family therapist who's spent 11 years specialising in affair recovery. She helps couples rebuild after betrayal, when everything's shattered and nobody knows where to start.Turns out infidelity isn't just sex outside the marriage. It's anytime you go outside your relationship to get pleasure that should be shared within it. Money. Communication. Emotional affairs. Physical ones. Renelle prefers the word “betrayal” because it's more accurate. You break contracts you didn't realise you'd signed.Here's the thing nobody talks about: it's not a male sport anymore. In her practice, men and women cheat in equal numbers. Women are leaving marriages after raising kids, after becoming empty nesters. The emotional labour falls heavily on them. Sometimes an affair is escape from domesticity. Not dissatisfaction. Escape.So what does affair recovery actually look like?Different from regular marriage counselling, for starters. More talking won't prevent betrayal. More sex won't prevent it. More date nights won't prevent it. The only things that stop betrayal are communication and not wanting to do it. That's it.Renelle's approach: you can't heal what you can't reveal. She works with the person who cheated first. Who did they become? What need were they trying to meet? Then she works with the person who stayed. Both deserve healing. Neither caused the affair, but both are responsible for their part in the marriage moving forward.I asked whether opening a relationship after betrayal ever works.Her answer was direct: it doesn't. Couples who open relationships successfully do so from trust and solid foundation. Starting that journey on a lie, with one partner settling because they can't keep the other person faithful, almost always fails. If you can't communicate basic needs with one person, adding more people just multiplies the chaos.My favourite bit? Renelle's seeing younger couples come to therapy after dating a month, maybe two. They want to learn how to communicate before problems arrive. They're treating therapy as education, not crisis management. They want enhancement, exploration, education, eroticism. That last one matters most.Eroticism is what's missing in long-term relationships, she said. When it leaves, people turn to porn. When you think you know everything about your partner, desire dries up.Literally.As Renelle put it: “When you think you know it all, that means you dried up. You're not getting hard or wet.”Fair point.What Matters* Women cheat just as much as men now. The numbers are equal.* Affair recovery heals individuals first, then the relationship.* You can't heal what you refuse to reveal. Truth comes before repair.* Opening relationships after betrayal rarely works. Trust must exist first.* Eroticism sustains long-term desire. Mystery matters more than familiarity.* Younger couples seek therapy as prevention. That's actual progress.Check out these resources from Renelle:The Pleasure Agenda: Couples Edition Undated PlannerPleasure After Betrayal: Aftercare Edition Undated PlannerThe Couple's Connection DeckConnect with RenelleWebsite https://renellenelson.thinkific.com/InstagramFacebookUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You'll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you're ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In episode 320, we address a betrayed partner's heartbreaking story of separation turning into divorce as her husband's addiction spirals further out of control. What was supposed to be a wake-up call instead became deeper indulgence, leaving her feeling disrespected, confused, and searching for closure. We explore how addicts can reach a point where fantasy feels “authentic,” and how emotional immaturity, avoidance of discomfort, arrested development, and untreated mental health issues often drive such drastic decisions. While these factors may help explain the behavior, we make it clear: they do not excuse it.We then confront the painful but empowering reality that he has the right—through his autonomy and agency—to make destructive choices. Acceptance of that truth does not mean approval or forgiveness; it means recognizing what cannot be controlled. Betrayed partners cannot force recovery, insight, or maturity. Fighting that reality only prolongs suffering. True empowerment begins when the focus shifts from changing him to strengthening oneself.Finally, we address the complicated reality of co-parenting after betrayal. When children are involved, complete separation is rarely possible. We emphasize the importance of thoughtful boundaries, structured communication, and protecting children from emotional crossfire. Revenge-driven decisions often create long-term damage, whereas clarity-driven boundaries create stability. Though he may choose to “screw up his life,” the betrayed partner retains the power to heal, protect her peace, and build a stronger future for herself and her children.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  He has the Right to Completely Screw Up His Life!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

When someone says, “Everyone would be better off without me,” it sounds selfless — but what if it's a distortion built on the wrong currency of worth? In this episode, we unpack the hidden assumptions behind that belief, from perceived burdensomeness to shame, control, and the quiet fear of being irredeemable.Why “better” is often measured by productivity, not meaningHow depression turns imagination into certaintyThe difference between removal and redemptionThrive With Leo Coaching: If you want to reduce your psychological pain, regain your purpose and forge your own path, go to www.thrivewithleo.com to begin your journey.If you or anyone you know is considering suicide or self-harm, or is anxious, depressed, upset, or needs to talk, there are people who want to help:In the US: Crisis Text Line: Text CRISIS to 741741 for free, confidential crisis counseling. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or 988The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386Outside the US:International Association for Suicide Prevention lists a number of suicide hotlines by country. Click here to find them.

Jen Psaki rounds up a remarkable list of failures and bad news suffered by Donald Trump's secretary of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, and shares highlights of eye-popping new reporting from the Wall Street Journal about how Noem has led her department into chaos with tyrannical behavior, wasted money, rumors of infidelity, and bizarre drama over a lost blanket that resulted in the firing and re-hiring of a Coast Guard pilot.Rep. Eric Swalwell joins to discuss the mess at the Department of Homeland Security and Democrats withholding their votes from any funding unless ICE agrees to new standards.Former federal prosecutors Glenn Kirschner and J.P. Cooney talk with Jen Psaki about Donald Trump's weaponization of the Justice Department and how Trump uses flawed indictments and doomed prosecutions to harass his enemies with the justice system even if they haven't done anything that warrants prosecution.As the Epstein files are causing scandal and disgrace around the world, associates of Jeffrey Epstein in Donald Trump's orbit are not dealing with any consequences. Rep. Suhas Subramanyam talks about next steps in Congress for the Epstein investigation.Donald Trump's intention to manipulate the coming midterm elections is no longer merely speculation, but local election administrators now have their guard up. Stephen Richer, former Maricopa County recorder talks with Jen Psaki about a low-energy Kristi Noem event in Arizona, and how states can prepare for Trump's intrusion. To listen to this show and other MS podcasts without ads, sign up for MS NOW Premium on Apple Podcasts. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Betrayal Trauma Isn't What You Think—Why the Noise After Infidelity Keeps You Stuck If you've ever wondered why betrayal still affects you—even after you've “done the work”—this episode names the real reason. Betrayal trauma isn't just the affair. It's what happens after: the opinions, judgments, bad advice, cultural myths, and even misapplied therapy that flood in when your nervous system is already in shock. That noise keeps you doubting yourself, second-guessing your choices, and feeling stuck—no matter how smart or self-aware you are. In this episode, Lora Cheadle breaks down the noise after betrayal and explains why clarity—not pressure, forgiveness, or forced decisions—is what actually heals. You'll learn how staying after infidelity is often misunderstood, why cheating is rarely about “having your cake and eating it too,” and how even well-meaning professionals can unintentionally re-traumatize you. This is a grounded, trauma-aware conversation for anyone who feels exhausted by everyone else's opinions and just wants to hear their own truth again. Top 3 Takeaways Betrayal trauma intensifies after discovery—not just during the affair. The real damage often comes from the aftermath: judgment, pressure, and narratives that were never built with trauma in mind. Staying after infidelity is not weakness—and it's not letting anyone “get away with it.” Staying can be the harder path, requiring accountability, deep personal work, and nervous-system healing on both sides. Misapplied therapy and self-help can create secondary betrayal. Rushed repair, forced forgiveness, and minimization of trauma often increase confusion instead of clarity. Favorite Quote “Healing begins with clarity. Clarity begins when the noise stops.” LOVE THE SHOW? TAKE THE NEXT STEP Don't just listen—start healing. Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. https://workplace-burnout.com/the-top-3-ways-you-betray-yourself-every-day-and-how-to-stop/ If you're ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let's talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.  Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again. About Lora: Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, TEDx speaker, and author of FLAUNT! and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal. After uncovering her husband's 15-year affair, she turned her own pain into purpose—helping high-achieving women reclaim their identity, power, and joy. A trauma-aware coach, somatic therapist, and former attorney, Lora blends legal insight with emotional and spiritual healing for full-spectrum recovery. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT  READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you've always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It's a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA25 for 25% off your order!

Whether you blew it or your wife did, trust is shattered in your marriage. But there is hope! Infidelity doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage. It can actually be the beginning of something new and healthier. In this expert interview, Jim Ramos talks with Rick Reynolds, an affair recovery expert and marriage therapist, who knows the battlefield firsthand. From surviving his own failure, to helping couples rebuild from betrayal, Rick breaks down the brutal reality of infidelity, how to start the hard road back, and provides the hope you're looking for.  Take the Affair Analyzer at affairrecovery.com to get custom next steps for your affair type, and if you sign up for a course or resources, tell them Men in the Arena sent you! Here are the books/resources mentioned in this episode!  The Myth of the Greener Grass (https://tinyurl.com/Greener115) by J. Allan Petersen Run Baby Run (https://tinyurl.com/Run115) by Nicky Cruz Preorder Jim's newest book, Guardrails: Ten Boundaries for an Unbreakable Marriage at https://tinyurl.com/guardrails115  'I Can Only Imagine 2' hits theaters February 20th, 2026! Watch the trailer and get tickets at icanonlyimagine.com. Every man needs a locker room. Apply to join an exclusive brotherhood of like-minded men in The Locker Room, our monthly live Zoom Q&A call! We meet in the Locker Room once a month for community, fellowship, laughter, and to help each other find biblical answers to life's difficult questions. Locker Room members also get access to monthly exclusive leadership trainings, historically only available to the staff team at Men in the Arena. Membership is by application only. Go here to apply: https://patreon.com/themeninthearena Get Jim Ramos' USA TODAY Bestselling book, Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God (https://tinyurl.com/dialedinbook)       

On this Freedom Friday, we wrapped up our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with conversations with Jill Savage as she spoke about how the Holy Spirit healed her and her husband after infidelity. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Dan Seaborn join us to discuss the nine actions needed to stay married. Dan is the Founder of Winning At Home Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to encourage marriages and families. He has a comfortable and humorous communication style that allows him to connect easily with audiences of all ages. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life-often sharing his own story. Then we had Shaunti Feldhan join us to discuss some stats on marriage and family. Shaunti is a best-selling author, podcaster, blogger, and popular speaker. She was formerly an analyst on Wall Street and now applies her analytical skills to uncovering eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships at home and in the workplace. She has authored several books, including “When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Jill Savage Interview [22:57] Daniel Seaborn Interview [42:33] Shaunti Feldhan [55:19] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this Freedom Friday, we wrapped up our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with conversations with Jill Savage as she spoke about how the Holy Spirit healed her and her husband after infidelity. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Dan Seaborn join us to discuss the nine actions needed to stay married. Dan is the Founder of Winning At Home Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to encourage marriages and families. He has a comfortable and humorous communication style that allows him to connect easily with audiences of all ages. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life-often sharing his own story. Then we had Shaunti Feldhan join us to discuss some stats on marriage and family. Shaunti is a best-selling author, podcaster, blogger, and popular speaker. She was formerly an analyst on Wall Street and now applies her analytical skills to uncovering eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships at home and in the workplace. She has authored several books, including “When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Jill Savage Interview [22:57] Daniel Seaborn Interview [42:33] Shaunti Feldhan [55:19] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this Freedom Friday, we wrapped up our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with conversations with Jill Savage as she spoke about how the Holy Spirit healed her and her husband after infidelity. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Dan Seaborn join us to discuss the nine actions needed to stay married. Dan is the Founder of Winning At Home Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to encourage marriages and families. He has a comfortable and humorous communication style that allows him to connect easily with audiences of all ages. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life-often sharing his own story. Then we had Shaunti Feldhan join us to discuss some stats on marriage and family. Shaunti is a best-selling author, podcaster, blogger, and popular speaker. She was formerly an analyst on Wall Street and now applies her analytical skills to uncovering eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships at home and in the workplace. She has authored several books, including “When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Jill Savage Interview [22:57] Daniel Seaborn Interview [42:33] Shaunti Feldhan [55:19] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this Freedom Friday, we wrapped up our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with conversations with Jill Savage as she spoke about how the Holy Spirit healed her and her husband after infidelity. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Dan Seaborn join us to discuss the nine actions needed to stay married. Dan is the Founder of Winning At Home Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to encourage marriages and families. He has a comfortable and humorous communication style that allows him to connect easily with audiences of all ages. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life-often sharing his own story. Then we had Shaunti Feldhan join us to discuss some stats on marriage and family. Shaunti is a best-selling author, podcaster, blogger, and popular speaker. She was formerly an analyst on Wall Street and now applies her analytical skills to uncovering eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships at home and in the workplace. She has authored several books, including “When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Jill Savage Interview [22:57] Daniel Seaborn Interview [42:33] Shaunti Feldhan [55:19] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this Freedom Friday, we wrapped up our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with conversations with Jill Savage as she spoke about how the Holy Spirit healed her and her husband after infidelity. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Dan Seaborn join us to discuss the nine actions needed to stay married. Dan is the Founder of Winning At Home Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to encourage marriages and families. He has a comfortable and humorous communication style that allows him to connect easily with audiences of all ages. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life-often sharing his own story. Then we had Shaunti Feldhan join us to discuss some stats on marriage and family. Shaunti is a best-selling author, podcaster, blogger, and popular speaker. She was formerly an analyst on Wall Street and now applies her analytical skills to uncovering eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships at home and in the workplace. She has authored several books, including “When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Jill Savage Interview [22:57] Daniel Seaborn Interview [42:33] Shaunti Feldhan [55:19] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this Freedom Friday, we wrapped up our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with conversations with Jill Savage as she spoke about how the Holy Spirit healed her and her husband after infidelity. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Dan Seaborn join us to discuss the nine actions needed to stay married. Dan is the Founder of Winning At Home Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to encourage marriages and families. He has a comfortable and humorous communication style that allows him to connect easily with audiences of all ages. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life-often sharing his own story. Then we had Shaunti Feldhan join us to discuss some stats on marriage and family. Shaunti is a best-selling author, podcaster, blogger, and popular speaker. She was formerly an analyst on Wall Street and now applies her analytical skills to uncovering eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships at home and in the workplace. She has authored several books, including “When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Jill Savage Interview [22:57] Daniel Seaborn Interview [42:33] Shaunti Feldhan [55:19] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Norwegian biathlete's infidelity To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you feel like you keep ending up in the same relationship with a different person, this episode explains why.In the Season 12 premiere of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, Erica breaks down the real reason relationship patterns repeat after divorce. Not because you're broken, unlucky, or choosing the “wrong” people, but because unhealed wounds, nervous system responses, and unconscious expectations are still running the show.This episode explores the space between rushing back into dating and avoiding it altogether. Erica walks through the three core lessons that determine whether you're actually ready for a new relationship. She explains how partners become emotional stand-ins, why asking someone else to regulate your happiness creates resentment, and how to tell the difference between a “me problem” and a “we problem.”You'll also hear why even the right person can trigger you, how old wounds from betrayal and infidelity resurface in new relationships, and why triggers are information, not proof that you're failing at healing. You'll learn:Why repeating relationship patterns after divorce is common and preventableHow to tell the difference between a personal trigger and a real relationship issueWhat “jumping through hoops” looks like and why it destroys connectionHow divorce rewires your nervous system and impacts dating readinessWhy asking a partner to make you happy creates resentmentHow unhealed wounds from betrayal show up in new relationshipsWhy triggers are data, not red flagsHow to stop outsourcing emotional regulation to a partnerWhat it means to enter a relationship whole instead of looking to be completedHow divorce can become a blueprint for healthier relationships moving forwardWe talk about:00:00 Wondering if you're ready to date again02:00 Why people rush back into dating or avoid it completely04:00 Divorce as a nervous system reset06:00 “Me problem vs we problem” in relationships08:00 How relationships mirror unhealed wounds10:00 Why expecting a partner to complete you creates pressure12:00 Jumping through emotional hoops and resentment14:00 Self-imposed expectations and burnout16:00 Cleaning up your side of the street18:00 The stories your mind creates when triggered20:00 Infidelity wounds and anxiety in new relationships22:00 Communicating triggers instead of assuming meaning24:00 Why even good partners will trigger you26:00 Using triggers as information, not danger28:00 Recognizing repeating conflict patterns30:00 Choosing new responses instead of old reactions32:00 Why divorce gives you tools to never let it get that bad againLinks Mentioned in the ShowLooking for support on your journey? Join THE CLUBReady to Define the New You? Create your BLUEPRINTContact Erica & The Crazy Ex-Wives Clubwww.thecrazyexwivesclub.com Tag us @ Instagram | Facebook | TikTokDid you love this episode? Make sure to follow for more.

My website: https://jordanapodaca.com/ After infidelity, you don't just lose trust in your partner. You lose trust in yourself. Suddenly every decision feels risky. You replay conversations wondering "how did I miss the signs?" You can't tell if what you're feeling is intuition or just anxiety. And when people say "you should have seen this coming," it makes everything worse. Self-trust doesn't return overnight. But it does return - gradually, as you prove to yourself that you can listen, discern, and act wisely. Want more personalized support? If you're struggling to navigate recovery and could use direct guidance, I have limited spots available for one-on-one calls. These calls are for people who are: - Dealing with the aftermath of infidelity - Struggling to trust themselves or their partner - Ready to do the work but need direction We'll create a clear path forward for your specific situation. Talk soon, Jordan Infidelity Recovery Specialist Book Your Free Strategy Call Now: https://jordanapodaca.com/#free-call 0:00 - Why Your Internal Compass Feels Broken 1:28 - The Shame of Missing the Signs 2:34 - Why You Didn't See It Coming (It's Not Your Fault) 4:00 - Rebuilding Trust in Your Intuition 5:09 - Reality Checking vs Anxiety 6:25 - Self-Trust Returns Gradually --------------------------------------------------------------------- JJA Consulting LLC • Fully insured through Alternative Balance LLC • Based in Michigan • Sessions via Zoom • Confidential and results-based. Disclaimer Jordan is not a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional. His services are for educational and coaching purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any mental or medical condition. Individual results vary. If you are in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a licensed mental-health provider or emergency services. Summary of Terms and Conditions Educational Purpose Only: Coaching and hypnosis sessions are for personal development and educational purposes only. Not Therapy or Medical Treatment: These services are not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychiatric, or medical care. Results Vary: Individual results vary depending on many factors. No specific outcome is guaranteed. Your Responsibility: You are responsible for your participation, decisions, and well-being before, during, and after sessions. You agree to remain coachable and follow the Practitioner's lead regarding session spacing. No Refunds: All sales are final except as required by law. We commit to working with you until the specific result is achieved, provided you remain committed to the process. Confidentiality: All private sessions are confidential except where disclosure is required by law. Intellectual Property: All session materials and methods are owned by JJA Consulting LLC and may not be shared or reproduced. Code of Conduct: We reserve the right to refuse or end services for disruptive, abusive, or unsafe behavior. Results-Based Model: You are purchasing a result, not a time-based subscription. We do not offer weekly check-in calls or "venting" sessions. We meet only when necessary to achieve the specific result. By scheduling or purchasing services, you agree to the full Terms and Conditions. You further agree that reasonable updates to these Terms to clarify the spirit of the agreement may apply to our engagement. FULL TERMS: https://jordanapodaca.com/#terms Subscribe to The Infidelity Recovery Podcast on Soundwise

Betrayal doesn't just break trust—it shatters identity. In this episode, we explore what a betrayal-induced existential crisis really is, why infidelity can cause deep identity confusion, spiritual disorientation, and trauma symptoms, and how God uses the rebuilding process to anchor your worth and calling in Him alone. If you've felt lost, disconnected, or unsure of who you are after betrayal, this episode will help you name what's happening—and begin healing from the inside out. Keywords: identity after betrayal, betrayal trauma, existential crisis, spiritual healing after infidelity, faith-based trauma recovery :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE  

02/09/2026 – Brad Hambrick –on recovering from marital infidelity

What does it mean to feel like the outsider in your own family — the one who gets blamed, ignored, or quietly cast as “the problem”? In this episode, we explore the psychology of scapegoating, why families assign roles, and how to stop seeking validation from a system that may never give it. It's about moving from exile to self-acceptance — and building belonging on your own terms.In This Episode:What family scapegoating actually is (and why it happens)The emotional cost of being “the identified problem”How family systems protect themselves — not necessarily the truthThe difference between alienation and individuationGrieving the family you hoped forFinding acceptance without needing unanimous approvalThrive With Leo Coaching: If you want to reduce your psychological pain, regain your purpose and forge your own path, go to www.thrivewithleo.com to begin your journey.If you or anyone you know is considering suicide or self-harm, or is anxious, depressed, upset, or needs to talk, there are people who want to help:In the US: Crisis Text Line: Text CRISIS to 741741 for free, confidential crisis counseling. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or 988The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386Outside the US:International Association for Suicide Prevention lists a number of suicide hotlines by country. Click here to find them.

When betrayal is confessed, both partners are immediately forced into territory they never chose. In this episode (#319), we address a powerful submission from a man whose pornography use and delayed disclosure led to the end of a serious relationship. We unpack why betrayal permanently changes a relationship's landscape and why healthy boundaries for the betrayed partner begin with space, agency, and the right to decide what future—if any—feels authentic. Boundaries are not punishments; they are acts of self-protection and clarity in the wake of shattered trust. We also address a critical but often misunderstood issue: waiting for the “right time” to tell the truth. While many addicts believe delayed honesty is protective, we explain how it actually constitutes integrity abuse and creates layered, complex trauma for the partner. By managing the timing and flow of truth, the addict unintentionally manipulates the relationship and deprives the partner of informed consent. We emphasize that honesty at all costs is not about guaranteeing forgiveness—it is about preserving reality, which is the foundation of any healthy boundary. Finally, we turn to the addict's side of the boundary equation. Addicts do not get to set boundaries on betrayed partners—but they must establish uncompromising internal boundaries around truth, transparency, and integrity. We discuss what it means to continue recovery when honesty leads to rejection, and why authentic change must eventually be internally motivated rather than driven by fear of loss. Even when a relationship ends, living honestly prepares an addict to become a healthier partner in the future and prevents repeating the same cycle of deception and harm.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   When Betrayal is Confessed, What are Healthy Boundaries for the Partner & Addioct?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

We have all been through it. The hard stuff. Not the surface-level kind. I'm talking about the deep, heavy hits. Health scares. Job loss. Business collapses. Divorce. Infidelity. Struggles with your kids.So how do you endure without breaking? How do you stay upright when life hits hard? I'll give you three anchors. And these aren't theoretical. These are lived, tested, and real.

If you've ever wondered why betrayal still affects you—even after you've “done the work”—this episode names the real reason. Betrayal trauma isn't just the affair. It's what happens after: the opinions, judgments, bad advice, cultural myths, and even misapplied therapy that flood in when your nervous system is already in shock. That noise keeps you doubting yourself, second-guessing your choices, and feeling stuck—no matter how smart or self-aware you are. In this episode, Lora Cheadle breaks down the noise after betrayal and explains why clarity—not pressure, forgiveness, or forced decisions—is what actually heals. You'll learn how staying after infidelity is often misunderstood, why cheating is rarely about “having your cake and eating it too,” and how even well-meaning professionals can unintentionally re-traumatize you. This is a grounded, trauma-aware conversation for anyone who feels exhausted by everyone else's opinions and just wants to hear their own truth again.   Top 3 Takeaways Betrayal trauma intensifies after discovery—not just during the affair. The real damage often comes from the aftermath: judgment, pressure, and narratives that were never built with trauma in mind. Staying after infidelity is not weakness—and it's not letting anyone “get away with it.” Staying can be the harder path, requiring accountability, deep personal work, and nervous-system healing on both sides. Misapplied therapy and self-help can create secondary betrayal. Rushed repair, forced forgiveness, and minimization of trauma often increase confusion instead of clarity. Favorite Quote “Healing begins with clarity. Clarity begins when the noise stops.”   About Lora Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a former attorney turned betrayal recovery coach, hypnotherapist, and author who helps women rebuild their identity and reclaim their power after infidelity and profound emotional betrayal. Using her signature Life Choreography® approach, she integrates legal insight, nervous system regulation, somatic practices, and deep spiritual support to help clients move from shattered to sovereign.   Resources & Links Download the free Betrayal Recovery Guide: https://betrayalrecoveryguide.com Book your $97 Intro Session: https://introductorysession.com Learn more about Rise & Reign: https://loracheadle.com/rise-and-reign Follow on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook @loracheadle   LOVE THE SHOW? TAKE THE NEXT STEP Don't just listen—start healing.   Download your FREE Betrayal Recovery Tool Kit and take back your power with clarity, confidence, and support that meets you where you are. ✅ Calm the chaos ✅ Rebuild self-trust ✅ Stop the spiral of second-guessing ✅ Reclaim your worth and your future

After infidelity, one of the most common questions I hear is, "Will it always hurt?" In this encore episode, I answer that question honestly and offer a clear path forward. The pain does not last forever — but healing requires understanding what actually causes the pain and learning how to work with your mind instead of against it. I walk through three foundational steps that help the hurt subside over time. First, I explain why infidelity hurts so deeply and how the meaning we attach to it often reactivates old wounds. Then I separate remembering from hurting — showing why forgetting isn't necessary in order to heal. Finally, I teach how to set boundaries around your thoughts so you stop reopening the wound again and again. Healing does not mean erasing the past. It means learning how to remember without suffering and how to treat yourself with compassion when pain resurfaces. This work puts the power back in your hands — regardless of whether you stay in the relationship or not. In this episode, I cover: Infidelity hurts because of the meaning we attach to it, not the event itself Remembering and hurting are two different processes Thought boundaries help prevent emotional re-injury If you're ready to heal without waiting for someone else to change, I invite you to reach out and learn how to begin this work. More from me: Please leave a rating and review if you like our podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/healfrominfidelity Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/ Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2026 Andrea Giles

Erin Somers' new novel, The Ten Year Affair is a story about Millennial disillusionment (and extramarital sex). The New Yorker called it “intoxicating” and W praised the book for its “sometimes mocking examination of young middle age.” I wanted to speak with Erin because her characters reflect a sense of grown-up melancholy arising when goals like home ownership, careers, and parenthood don't provide the fulfillment that was expected of them. So what do we do, she asks implicitly, when we find ourselves in a life designed to have meaning but does not deliver on that promise? Her characters also embody the impossible and contradictory messages society has imposed on gender roles for her generation. For men: be sensitive, inclusive, do half the housework, but still make a lot of money. For women: go conquer the corporate world while simultaneously being a present, nurturing mother and a sensual, doting wife. To me, this issue—even more than the deliciously provocative infidelity—is what has me continuing to think about the book, weeks after I finished it. Erin's writing and reportage has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The New Yorker, The Paris Review, Esquire, GQ, The Nation, The New Republic, and elsewhere. Vogue named her first novel, Stay Up With Hugo Best, to their list of the Best Books of the Year for 2019. ✍️Please ⁠rate and review⁠ ⁠⁠Reasonably Happy⁠⁠ (DO IT!) ✍️ https://ratethispodcast.com/paulopod

Explosive fights after infidelity are not a communication problem—they're a trauma response. If every conversation turns into an argument, shutdown, or emotional blowup, this episode explains why—and how to stop it. After an affair or sexual betrayal, many couples find themselves stuck in high-conflict cycles that feel impossible to control. Small triggers turn into massive arguments. Pain gets weaponized. Trust erodes further. And instead of healing, the marriage stays in survival mode. In this episode, betrayal-trauma and marriage recovery specialist Lisa Limehouse breaks down why explosive fights happen after infidelity and shares 3 research-backed, Scripture-anchored ways to de-escalate conflict and rebuild emotional safety—without avoiding hard conversations or suppressing truth. You'll learn: Why your brain and nervous system are driving post-infidelity fights How trauma flooding shuts down empathy, logic, and repair Why “talking it out” often makes things worse after betrayal 3 practical steps to stop explosive arguments and create emotional safety How biblical wisdom and neuroscience align in the healing process What must be in place before trust and connection can actually return This episode is for: ✔️ Betrayed spouses who feel constantly triggered or emotionally overwhelmed ✔️ Unfaithful spouses who want to repair but feel attacked or defensive ✔️ Couples who want restoration but are stuck in chaos and conflict Lisa also explains why stopping the fights is not optional if you want real healing—and how safety, not intensity, is the foundation for reconciliation. If you're realizing that love alone isn't enough and you need structure, guidance, and a trauma-informed, Christ-centered path forward, learn more about Marriage Redesigned™, Lisa's proven couples recovery program, at lisalimehouse.com. Healing doesn't begin with winning arguments. It begins with emotional safety. :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE  

He's fallen in love with someone else…should I stay? Alex and Jon don't have time for questions like this anymore…BUT they're still going to answer them because they love you. In this week's episode, we're breaking up and breaking down relationships with exes, sister in-laws, and friends of over ten years. Sometimes the best advice is to just leave and other times…it's to just go. There's a difference, we promise.Submit your questions here!⁠0:00 - Intro29:50 - I Want To Move Home32:00 - How Do I Mend Family Relationships?34:34 - Maid of Dishonor 39:05 - He's In Love With Another Woman42:31 - Ending Years Long Friendships52:01 - Being A Mom Has Made Me Snippy58:15 - Reading Your SecretsPremier Protein: Find your favorite flavor at PremierProtein.com or at Amazon, Walmart, and other major retailers.Cozy Earth: Only available January 25th- February 8th! Use my code STRAIGHTBOGO at cozyearth.com to get pj's for you and someone you love! Visit our website ⁠www.giveittomestraightpodcast.com⁠Visit our other website ⁠www.alexjon.com⁠Find us on Instagram!⁠Podcast⁠⁠Alex⁠⁠JonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

*Note from Mark and Jill: We're so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! Experiencing infidelity or broken trust in your marriage is one of the hardest challenges a couple can face, but that doesn't mean it has to be the end your relationship. In this conversation, we are wrapping up our series on what it looks like to heal from betrayal in marriage, and this time, we are talking about the final step—how to move forward.The road to restoration and reconciliation is not an easy path to take, but if both spouses are committed, all the hard work is so worth it. From personal experience, we can say that it is absolutely possible to transform your marriage into something that's even better and healthier than it was before. We call this achieving a “2.0 marriage.”To get there, you have to go through the four phases of affair recovery: rupture, repentance, reconciliation, and finally rebuilding trust. The fourth one is typically the longest phase of the journey, and that's the chapter we're focusing on today.In this episode, you'll hear:The elements of a healthy apologyWhat it means to “push accountability”Why personal growth is an important part of rebuilding your marriageAnd more!We hope that hearing our personal story of crisis, repair, and recovery has been helpful to you! If you've been walking through infidelity or broken trust, our goal with this series was to provide a valuable resource on your road to rebuilding your marriage.No More Perfect Marriages: https://amzn.to/4bLuwZZMy Heart is Broken: https://amzn.to/3YQZA32I Really Messed Up: https://amzn.to/4sJ81LgFind resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/recovering-from-infidelity-283Join us for 6 weeks of our Great Sexpectations focus in our Date Night membership where we dive deep into intimacy. Sign-up today!Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill's Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You're the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Is the real crisis today economic — or architectural? In this episode, we challenge the idea that loneliness and despair come from a broken ladder of upward mobility. What if the problem isn't that we can't climb… but that we were taught to measure our worth by climbing in the first place? Drawing from Middlemarch, modern work culture, and personal experience, this conversation explores why craftsmanship, authorship, and daily building may be the antidote to vertical despair.In this episode:Why the “career ladder” mindset fuels anxiety and comparisonThe difference between climbing and buildingHow craftsmanship creates internal pride (and hunger)What Lydgate's crisis in Middlemarch teaches us about collapsed ambitionWhy being seen — not promoted — can save a lifeThe power of asking: “Am I actually in danger right now?”Moving from passive consumption to generative actionHow to build meaning even when the system feels unstable

God is truth, God is love, and God is being itself. Today's Catechism readings begin to unpack the eternal nature of God and share with us God's “innermost secret." Fr. Mike teaches us that because God made us in his image and likeness, then we too are called to embody truth and love. Today's readings are Catechism paragraphs 212-221. This episode has been found to be in conformity with the Catechism by the Institute on the Catechism, under the Subcommittee on the Catechism, USCCB. For the complete reading plan, visit ascensionpress.com/ciy Please note: The Catechism of the Catholic Church contains adult themes that may not be suitable for children - parental discretion is advised.

Tim and Kathy Bush share their story of radical transformation from infidelity and addiction, to passionately serving the Lord together. They share tools and encouragement for hurting couples to redeem their broken marriages. Receive the book Sex on the First Date plus an audio download of the broadcast "How One Couple Overcame Infidelity and Broke Generational Cycles" for your donation of any amount! Get More Episode Resources If you enjoyed listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, please give us your feedback.

Tim and Kathy Bush share their story of radical transformation from infidelity and addiction, to passionately serving the Lord together. They share tools and encouragement for hurting couples to redeem their broken marriages. Receive the book Sex on the First Date plus an audio download of the broadcast "How One Couple Overcame Infidelity and Broke Generational Cycles" for your donation of any amount! Get More Episode Resources If you enjoyed listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, please give us your feedback.