Podcasts about intimacy

Does your wife stiffen each time you touch her? Does she pull away each time you reach out? Are you tired of feeling physically rejected? If you answered yes then this episode is a must listen. In it, I'll cover the causes for this pattern and marriage advice that will solve it. Be sure to listen to it with your wife to see if she would make any edits. 

Garth Heckman The David Alliance TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com        Matthew 14:22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone. 24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It's a ghost!” 27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don't be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” 28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” 29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. 31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” 32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.     The power was in the word from God… not in Peter, or his hopes or aspirations, NOT EVEN HIS OWN PERSONAL BELIEF… it was in the word of God.      Peter understood authority and submission to it.  Peter is saying, if you command it, I will submit to your authority and follow your words.      **But Peter didn't just walk out of the boat, he didn't just take anyones word… he said “Jesus if it is you command me”.  Look, there are waves, wind, spray, its night time, maybe one lantern, shadows everywhere… who is this? A ghost? A shadow? A demon? A…a…a… is it Jesus.  Before you jump ship - make sure you are following Jesus - and following his command.      The Goal was Intimacy, not Magic Notice the full phrase: "Command me to come to You."    The original phrase in the greek is “if it is you Command me to come to you” - he did not ask to walk on the water, he did not say Jesus I want to walk on the water… he knew safety was with Jesus!      Peter didn't want to walk on water for the sake of a thrill; he wanted to walk on water because that was the only way to get closer to Jesus. The miracle was just the method of transport; Jesus was the destination.

As the year comes to a close, most couples rush straight into what's next… without ever pausing to honour what they've lived through together.In this episode of Reignite: Love, Sex & Truth for Conscious Couples (formerly known as Get Your Sexy Back for Couples), we invite you into a simple, powerful end-of-year ritual designed to help you slow down, feel, and consciously close one chapter before opening another.This isn't about resolutions or fixing anything.It's about reflection, compassion, emotional honesty, and intentionally choosing how you want to move forward, individually and as a couple. This episode is a gentle invitation to reconnect, soften, and reignite your bond as you step into the new year together. What You'll Hear in This EpisodeWhy rushing into the new year without reflection keeps couples stuck carrying unprocessed emotions forward.How conscious reflection helps you honour who you've become without judgment, blame, or self-criticism.What is the importance of celebration, and why does acknowledging what you've survived and grown through fuel intimacy and alivenessHow to release old patterns, resentments, and beliefs with compassion rather than force.Why focusing on how you want to feel creates a deeper connection than setting rigid goals or resolutions.How turning reflection into a ritual strengthens devotion, safety, and emotional intimacy in long-term relationships. This end-of-year ritual isn't about doing more…It's about being more present with what already is — and choosing each other with intention as you step into what's next. ✨ Save your spot for our upcoming February Couples Retreat: A sacred, guided experience for five couples ready to reconnect, heal, and reignite. Reserve your retreat spot here:

In this episode, the focus is on clergy abuse—a topic made even more pressing by recent headlines. The featured guest, Sandy Phillips Kirkham, shares her harrowing ordeal of being abused by a charismatic youth pastor starting at the age of 16. Sandy discusses the grooming process, the five years of abuse, and how she was ultimately expelled from her church while her abuser was merely relocated. She delves into the long-lasting impact of the abuse on her life and her spiritual journey, how she concealed her trauma for 27 years, and how she ultimately confronted her abuser. Sandy also provides valuable insights and actionable advice for preventing abuse and supporting victims within church communities. Her story is also detailed in her book, ‘Let Me Prey on You,' which offers a detailed account of her journey from victim to advocate. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:32 Introducing Today's Topic: Clergy Abuse 02:17 Sandy Phillips Kirkham's Early Life and Church Involvement 06:22 Meeting the Abuser: The Charismatic Youth Pastor 08:43 Red Flags and Grooming Tactics 13:51 The First Inappropriate Act 16:37 The Abuse Escalates 21:06 The Aftermath and Church's Response 28:15 Life After Abuse: Marriage and Keeping Secrets 32:09 Protecting Future Generations 35:17 The Importance of Sex Education in the Church 36:32 Techniques for Discussing Sex with Children 37:22 Personal Experiences with Sex Education 38:20 Triggering Memories and Emotional Breakdown 40:13 The Journey of Healing Begins 41:31 Understanding Clergy Abuse and Self-Forgiveness 43:52 Confronting the Abuser 47:07 Challenges in Seeking Justice 54:47 Preventing Abuse in the Church 01:00:31 Supporting Victims of Clergy Abuse 01:05:07 Final Thoughts and Resources Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/  sandykirkhamauthor@gmail.com  Purchase her book “Let Me Prey Upon You” on amazon: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/let-me-prey-upon-you/   Link Tree   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/   Sandy Phillips Kirkham [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello. Welcome everyone. Welcome to my regular listeners, as well as some new listeners that have joined us today. I have a great guest for you today. We're going to be talking about clergy abuse today. Religious leader, abuse. Pastor, youth leader. You've seen this in the news recently with all these preachers being arrested or charged with sexual misconduct or rape or [00:02:00] pedophilia. I'm sure you've seen the news. Well, today we're going to hear a story about a woman who's been victimized in that way and she's fighting back. So let me read her bio for you. A church is where an insecure 16-year-old girl should feel welcome, happy, and most importantly, safe tragically. For some, the church can become a place of great harm. Sandy Phillips Kirkham details her account of how charismatic youth minister preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken with a shattered faith and the ultimate shame of being blamed enforced from the church she loved. Despite a successful and happy life, is a wife, mother, and friend. Sandy successfully concealed her abuse for [00:03:00] 27 years until a trigger forced her to face the truth. Sandy's story will take you on her journey of healing. Her strength and courage will inspire you. Let me pray upon you her book details. Sandy's journey from innocent 16-year-old, a victim to a survivor, and advocate. We please welcome Sandy Phillips. Kirk, welcome Sandy to the show. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Wow. So I've been listening to you on the Preacher Boys podcast and thought you had a really great story, and so I wanted to come and bring you on so my listeners can hear your story as well. Mm-hmm. So tell us a little bit about your home and your church environment growing up. Let's [00:04:00] start from the beginning here. Okay. I'm the oldest of five. My parents were divorced when I was about seven, which that was really the impact of my life, of just how it altered everything about that time in my life. Then my mother remarried and we moved in with my stepfather shortly after my father remarried, and so I was dealing with these blended families and it was just very confusing for me at the time, my parents and stepfather did not attend church. So I, I wasn't a part of a church until I was about eight, and that's when my best friend who lived up the street invited me to go with their family, and I went with them and I went every Sunday after that, I absolutely fell in love with church. It was a place that I felt safe. I think it provided for me a place away from home that I felt comfortable and I got attention there. I was very active even as a small child. I went to vacation Bible school, church camp, love Sunday School. I sang in a junior choir. Really, it was a just a great place for me to [00:05:00] be. When I was 13, I was baptized and then my faith really deepened and my involvement in the church became even more so, started teaching Sunday school and teaching vacation Bible school. I started serving on committees with adults and doing more of the activities that would, , just be more in depth than just typical youth group activities. So, it's just no exaggeration to say that if the doors of the church were open, I was there and I loved it. I loved serving God. I felt that was the place for me, and everything about it was brought me joy and peace in the church. Wow. You really, were very sincere in your faith. It was not a fake one. I hear a lot of stories of. Being brought up in the church and being made to go to church and, you just go through the motions kind of thing. But it sounds like it was the opposite for you. It was that you really believed this with all your heart. Was that a fundamental Baptist church you were going [00:06:00] to or what? It was a church, Christ Christian Church, which is similar to the Baptist. It's an independent church. Yeah, that's the church. That was so something happened while you were serving the Lord and loving God. You met your abuser? Yes. Shortly after I turned 16, our church hired a new youth pastor, and from the moment he arrived, he was totally different than anyone we'd ever seen before. He was very charismatic, very dynamic. His sermons were really like nothing we'd ever heard before, and people were just drawn to him. He had a personality that people found themselves wanting to be around him. They wanted to please him. So he was very good at asking people to do things and they didn't hesitate. It, it was just a different kind of atmosphere. When he came to the church, the youth group exploded in numbers. We went from like 25 to almost 200 in a very short time. Even the [00:07:00] adult church was growing because people just came to hear him preach because he was so good at what he did. He was 30, married with two children, but he really acted more like our age group. He dressed like we did. He. Went to our football games at school, he knew our music. So he just, he really, he was tuned into us and in return we found ourselves, all of us being willing to please him and wanna do anything we could to make the youth group and the church better. So when people think of a profile of a child abuser, they usually think, oh, some dirty old man, that his roaming fingers or what have you, but this youth pastor sounded like, okay, he was really good looking and hip and really loved the young people. Mm-hmm. Is that typical of. Well, it's, it's typical in the sense that it's not the, dirty old man hiding in the bushes. Most abusers [00:08:00] are people we know. They're people that we like. They're usually people that, connect with people very well, and that's what makes them so dangerous because they're not obvious with what they do, and they're very good at that. They pretend to be one of us. They pretend to care, but in reality, their goal is to find a way to take advantage of the most vulnerable in, in the group. And so, predators are usually drawn to places where they will find vulnerable people. The gymnastics team is an example of that. The Boy Scouts, anywhere where you can, and certainly the church because we are welcoming into people who are in need. Oftentimes. Then there are many people in the church who are vulnerable to these types of men, and sometimes women. Were there any red flags? That you should have seen or noticed when you were around this youth pastor? Well, he came with so many different ideas and different ways of doing things. And one of the things that he was doing now, this was in the [00:09:00] seventies, so cultures were changing and it was free love and kind of thing. But he came into our church and he expected everyone to hug each other. So we were always hugging each other. And he also expected us to say how much we loved each other and that we love you and not just that I love you in Christ. He would simply walk up, give you a hug and say, I love you. Now you know, that may seem innocent, but that's a little odd for that pastor to be saying those kinds of things. And it also blurs the lines because when you say to someone, I love you, that can be confusing to. Young teenagers and even to vulnerable adults. So, but he did that with everybody. It wasn't like he picked someone else special, but, so the hugging in the contact was kind of a red flag in the beginning. But for me personally, I babysat for his family. His wife worked evenings. Mm-hmm. So one night after he came home, he asked me to go to his basement and listen to a song by Neil Diamond. [00:10:00] Well, it felt a little weird 'cause I'd never. I've been around a pastor that wanted to talk to me about anything but church in the Bible. But I went to the basement. Yeah. I mean a Neil Diamond song. So I went to the basement. I know, but that's a trigger factor for me sometimes. So anyway, I went to the basement and he put this record on and I sat down on the couch and instead of sitting in a chair or another place, he came on the couch and sat very close to me. And I remember feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. 'cause I thought, well, he is just sitting next to me. It's no big deal. But that's a red flag that I felt because it felt uncomfortable to me. And then the other times that I would babysit for him. His wife wouldn't come home till late in the evening, so he would come home around seven or eight and after the kids were in bed, instead of taking me home, he wanted me to sit and talk with him all evening. So we'd talk about the Bible or we'd talk about church, and sometimes he'd ask me what I thought of his [00:11:00] sermon, which at age 16, I'm flattered that this man has any idea that I would have some opinion about this great sermon that he just gave. So I didn't see anything wrong with that because he's my pastor. But had that occurred with my 30-year-old neighbor down the street, every time I went to babysit, I know I would've come home to my mother and said, okay, this is weird. Mm-hmm. Every time I babysit, this man wants to sit and talk to me all evening. I mean, what interest would I have as a teenager wanting to talk to this 30-year-old married man? But because my pastor was who he was and he tapped into our common connection of the church and God, and again, many times he would give me books to read 'cause he wanted me to get better in my deep, in my spirituality. So I didn't see anything wrong with it because of who he was. And so I just accepted that behavior, which is another tool and technique. They look for ways to get into you. Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] That don't seem obvious. And that was, so those were two red flags for me. Now as far as the congregation goes, I was in his office a lot by myself, but so were other kids, because he would actually call us into his office and say, I want you to come in and tell me what's going on in your life. Talk to me about your problems. Instead of us going to him, he would encourage us to come into his office. So while that probably wasn't a good thing, no one saw it as a bad thing. It seemed normal, but he called me into his office a lot more than the other kids. And later on there were people who did say to me, there were times when I wondered why he said something to you like that, or I noticed something one time. And so I think people notice some things, but no one thought enough of it to say, okay, there's something going on that doesn't seem right. So those were the red flags that I think in the beginning were very subtle. But they were hard to see, [00:13:00] and this is really important to distinguish these things because I was groomed by a guidance counselor in seventh grade. Mm-hmm. But he was one of those dirty old men that, he was doing creepy stuff. Yeah. But I never would have seen myself. A pastor and he's talking about spiritual things and he's talking about God and mm-hmm. He's not talking about sex. He's not watching, you're not watching dirty movies together. No, he's not, buying you sexy lingerie. It's, Hey, he's doing spiritual things. Mm-hmm. It's a setup. It's that grooming process you're talking about. It's pulling someone in to gain their trust, in a very di diabolical way, because he's using the church to do that. That's really scary. That scares mm-hmm. Scares me to death. What were the first times that he did something really inappropriate that you were just like, whoa? Well, the very [00:14:00] first time, was after a youth group meeting that was held in my home. I was the song leader. He put me in a leadership position, and it was very important to him that the evening always go well and that we were to make people feel welcome. And so at the end of the evening, I was nervous because I wanted to make sure that he thought everything went well. And he came up to me in my hallway and began telling me how great the evening was and how proud he was of me. And I was on Cloud nine. I was flattered that he felt that way. I felt good that the evening went so well. And then he just slowly bent down and he kissed me. And it wasn't, it was a kiss, but it seemed somewhat innocent to some extent. And I, I remember thinking, I think he just kissed me. Then my next thought was, well, he's my pastor and I don't think he would be doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And it was just a quick kiss. And he's always hugging people. And so maybe this is just his way of showing his appreciation for the evening. It was really [00:15:00] the only way in my 16-year-old mind that I could justify it because I couldn't think about this man doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And this was a person that everyone loved and thought so highly of, so how could I think he was doing something he shouldn't be doing? So I just let it go. I didn't think anything more about it. I mean, did you have any sex ed or anything? Did you know the birds and bees? Nine. Well, yeah, I'm 16. I did. Yeah, I did. But I wasn't, I hadn't dated much. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, so I hadn't had any dating experience. I had one kiss before this with a boy at camp. So I wasn't. Worldly or knowledgeable about all those things. But, and again, it was such a quick innocent type kiss. He didn't grab me, he didn't push me against the wall. I just, and again, I think for me it was okay if he's, if this is more than just a kiss, then what do I do with it? So therefore I'm just gonna say it's [00:16:00] nothing because I don't know what else to do. Um, wow. I let it go. I let it go. But as I babysat for him, he, sometimes when I would leave, he would kiss me and sometimes he wouldn't. So, I didn't see it as a con, kind of a continual thing that he was always wanting to kiss me. He always hugged me. But the kissing became more intense as it went along. So it, it would be another year, before he would have sex with me. And so that grooming process and kind of pushing the boundaries each time he was with me, finally ended with him having sex with me. Oh, wow. Now, some of us listening are like an adult having sex with a child or 16-year-old. Can you unpack that a little bit more, the process of how he got to that point? I mean, that the first time you had intercourse, I mean, did he, you know, go to a hotel with you and you had a candlelight dinner, or was it in the backseat of the car?[00:17:00] Was it an accident? It wasn't an accident. He was very deliberate and I had every intentions of having sex with me that night. I babysat, I was babysitting, I put the kids to bed, I walked down the steps. I assumed that we would go into the living room. Or the family room, sit on the couch and talk about the things we always talked about. But instead, he stopped me at the bottom of the stairs and he took me into the living room, and immediately put me on the floor and began undressing me. Um, and wow, I froze. I, I literally froze and I kept thinking to myself, he's going to stop. He's going to stop. And that the entire time he's whispering into my ear how much he loves me, that he would never hurt me, and that he can, I can trust him. And then he kept asking me, do you love me? Do you love me? And I, of course, I'm answering yes, because well, yes I do, because that's what I've told him for the past year. I, I, I just, I was so confused and what my real reaction was, I froze. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he sort of pushed my head under the [00:18:00] stereo. And so when he is starting to get farther than I thought he would ever go. I blocked, I just blocked it out and I started reading the serial numbers underneath the stereo. Oh my goodness. Just to be thinking of anything else. Um, at one point he then just picked me up and took me upstairs. He literally put me on the bed, penetrated me, and that was it. And I was horrified. I was absolutely horrified. I, I wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Um, he left the room, told me to get dressed, and he would take me home. And I remember sitting on the bed and I put the bedspread around me because I was so embarrassed that I didn't have my clothes on. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Um, and then I just remember thinking I just had sex. I'm no longer a virgin. I just had sex with this man and. He took me home. Now, in the [00:19:00] book, of course, I go into a little bit more detail, but Right, he took me home and just before I got outta the car, he said to me, now, you know, this is something between the two of us, you can't tell anyone. And of course I'm thinking, who would I tell? I, I don't want anybody to know. I just did this. So, that was the first time. And then I think I, at that point I kept thinking, you know, I've had sex with him. So now I'm committed to him again. I'm at this point, I'm 17 years old. I'm still like, what do I do with this? I don't, I don't know what to do with this. Um, and he was convincing me that he loved me. He was convincing me that he needed me in his ministry and that God, this was God's will in our lives. He threw that at me. Eventually he would say to me that we were married in God's eyes. I mean, twisting the scripture and using God as a reason that we should be together. And so. I started to accept that. There were a couple times I went to him and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I felt [00:20:00] guilty. He would respond in one of two ways. One, he would say to me how much he needed me, how much he loved me, and that he couldn't live without me. So that was the guilt part of it. Or he would respond and by saying to me, you know, you're no longer a virgin. No one else is gonna want you. I'm the only one that knows how to love you, and you are committed to me, and this is gonna be the way it is. And I saw no way out. I didn't see a way out. And so the relationship continued for five years. Wow. Five years. It went on for five years. That is a long time. And it, during that time, he became more aggressive physically. Uh, he hit me. He became sexually more deviant. It just progressed. It got worse and worse. And to a point that I finally, I was, my self-esteem was so low. I hated myself for what I'd been doing. So I finally just accepted that this was my life. I knew [00:21:00] I'd never get married. I knew I'd never have children, and this wouldn't be over until he said it was over. This went on for five years and nobody in the church noticed it. Your parents didn't notice it. You know, people say, well, where were your parents? Well, first of all, my parents were thrilled. I was in church. I mean, this was a time in the seventies when drugs were. Prevalent girls were, having free sex. So for them, what safer place could there be than to be in church? So, and they saw his intention toward me and his involvement with me as a good thing. I mean, he would take me on hospital visits with him. I mean, they saw this as being positive. And they knew how much I loved being there and that it was a place that I liked to go. So they didn't see it. And many in the church didn't see it began because who suspects the pastor of such behavior. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And especially in the seventies when this wasn't an open topic like it is now, you wouldn't have dared thought anything like that. And so [00:22:00] it's not uncommon for people in the church, to miss the signs and to ignore what they really do see, because they just can't believe that it would be something that would be happening in their church because then they'd have to do something about it. Yes, exactly. When did it all come crumbling down? It does crumble. Eventually it does. Two elders became suspicious and followed him one night and found us together in a hotel room. And then from then on, the next month and a half was an absolute nightmare for me. Hmm. It was initially hoped that they could keep what he had done, quiet and keep it from the congregation. Now, I have to say one thing before I forget. This wasn't his first incident of sexual misconduct. Oh. Prior to and just after he was awri, he arrived at our church. A young woman from his first church came forward and accused him of sexual misconduct. When he was [00:23:00] confronted by my elders, he didn't deny it. He said it was true. He asked for forgiveness, that it would never happen again. It was a mistake. So within six months. That's when he was kissing me in my hallway. So this, so these elders were aware that this was the second time that there had been an incident with this man of sexual abuse and misconduct. But in spite of that, they tried to keep it quiet in hopes of moving him to another church. And so I was told during that time where I was to sit, how I was to respond to questions. I wasn't to talk to anyone. I wasn't to tell anyone about what had happened, including my parents. And this was all in an effort to keep it quiet. Well, that effort failed. And so it was determined that he should address the congregation. He did it in a very vague way, just simply said that he'd sinned. He'd sinned against God, and he'd sinned against his wife. And that was his confession. That was it. Two days later, he had me meet [00:24:00] him in a hotel room after that confession in front of the congregation. Now. He was moved to the next church. He was given a going away party. There was actually a vote to maybe keep him, but the vote failed and they decided to move him to the next church. About, two weeks, three weeks later, I was called in by the elders, and this is probably the hardest part of my story for me. Mm-hmm. I was called in by the elders and I was told that because of my behavior I was to leave the church. I was devastated. I loved that church. It was the only church I knew, and here I was being told by these two elders that I wasn't fit to worship there any longer. Mm-hmm. He could be forgiven and given a second, third chance. I couldn't be, I was told that to leave the church. I wasn't given any counseling. I wasn't helped in any way. I was simply told to leave and I did. I left. [00:25:00] And that I told people many times, as horrific as the abuse was, having been told to leave, that church had a greater impact on me spiritually than the actual abuse did. I don't think I ever recovered from that. It still haunts me to this day to some extent. That response of the church really devastated me. So that was the crumbling, as you called it? It came crashing down and I would, I left the church. So did that change your perception of God? What was your relationship with God this time? Yes. You were kicked outta the church, but. Well, I felt a disconnect from God. I never blamed God. I never felt like God caused this to happen. I, in fact, I carry the blame and the shame. I felt guilty for what I had done. And so I never blamed God, but because of the relationship being tied in with God and the [00:26:00] prayers that this man would give, and then, you know, he'd give these wonderful sermons about marriage and sanctity of marriage on a Sunday morning after having sex with me the night before. I had difficulty separating all of that, and there were so many trigger factors associated with the church and prayer that God really did. It was hard for me to have any kind of relationship with God. I did. I didn't become an atheist like a lot of victims do, and who become angry at God. I simply just. I just put him on the back burner. I knew he existed, but I didn't have a connection with him any longer. So for 27 years, I, I never prayed. I never opened my Bible. I went to church because when I met my husband, he was a Methodist. And I thought, well, I'll go to the Methodist Church. It's a different denomination. Mm-hmm. I'll just go on. It should be fine. It didn't work that way. I had anxiety attacks in church. I, his [00:27:00] reminders of him were constant, but I forced myself to go. I made sure that I went because I knew when we had children, I wanted them to have that church experience. But every time I walked past the minister's office, I got a knot in my stomach. Oh yeah. It had nothing to do with that minister. But you understand that. I mean, it, but I did that for 27 years. It became my norm. I just knew that when I walked past that office, I was gonna get a knock my stomach, certain hymns. I can tell you what his favorite hymn was, and every time that was played, that's who I thought of. I couldn't pray. It was so, I did have a deep, deep disconnect for 27 years, and I have to tell you, I missed it. I actually mourn that loss of my spiritual life, but I didn't know how to get it back. Because I'm keeping this secret. I'm still carrying guilt and shame. I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't feel worthy to be in church. So with all of that mixed in, I just put myself on autopilot and said, [00:28:00] well, this is the way my life will be and I'll just have to accept it. It just sounds so unfair. Somebody that loves the Lord so much and served in the church and so innocent and being kicked out. Oh, but it sounded like maybe meeting your husband would've been a positive thing for you. How did you guys meet? I actually worked at his office, so I met him there. We dated for about two years, and I just found him to be a kind, loving soul. He was very unassuming. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't, he wasn't a boastful type of person. He didn't like taking credit for things, even though he deserved it sometimes. He was just a good hearted person, and I just, I fell in love with him immediately. I really did. I thought this was a great, great guy. I mean, I will tell you, I have said many times because before I met him, I was on a destructive path. I did not have any self-esteem. [00:29:00] I saw myself just simply as some sex object that, I was only good for that. And so when I met him, he saved my life because he loved me for who I was and showed me that I was worthy. So I've often said to him, you saved my life, and he will respond back with you made mine, and you can't get any better than that. So meeting him was a turning point for me, but I kept a secret from him for 27 years, and I lived in fear that he'd always find out that I'd had this affair with a married man. And I know in my heart that it wouldn't have made a difference to him. But people who've been abused never forget the words, don't ever tell. And I never forgot those words. And I never forgot what the consequences could be if I were to tell someone. Because when my elders found out, they blamed me. And I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I were to tell him. [00:30:00] Somehow he would find fault with me, or I wondered, would he wonder why I didn't feel confident enough to tell him? Would he feel betrayed that I kept a secret? Would he see me differently sexually? All those fears that I had while unfounded were still present in my mind. And so I never could tell him. And I had to do a lot of play acting and pretending, through our married life in the sense that the times I was having trigger factors, I had to hide them. And I know he would've been supportive, but I couldn't see that. Because while trauma affects you at the time of the abuse, it's lifelong. It doesn't leave you. And so I lived with that for 27 years. So did you have. Intimacy issues when you were together? Was that what you're talking about? The triggering? No, I, know a lot of victims do, and that's understandable. I really didn't, because he was so different from my abuser [00:31:00] and I recognized that my abuser was emotionally violent mm-hmm. And physically, he just wasn't loving in any sense of the word. I was simply used for sex. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have that with my husband. And so I could separate that a little bit. But I think the guilt of hiding the secret had an impact on our marriage as far as my able to be intimate with him in an emotional way. I'm really glad to hear that. I, you are not the first person that I've heard that. The victim has hidden a secret from her husband. I passed her and a pastor's wife and her husband did not know. Mm-hmm. Children didn't know, and it was a family member that was the abuser. And I kept telling her, you've got to tell him. Mm-hmm. You know why? It's because, and I was thinking this when I was listening to your, the other shows that you were on. I'm thinking about your children and your grandchildren. If I was abused, [00:32:00] I would be like. How do I keep my children and grandchildren from going through what I just went through, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, that's an interesting thing because most people would assume that my daughter, I would've been all over it and worried sick every time she left the house. Yeah. But I actually had the opposite, reaction because keep in mind, I didn't see myself as an abuse victim. I saw myself as someone who participated, who willingly went into this relationship and stayed in it willingly, which is not the case when you're abused. There's the control, the manipulation, all of those things that play into keeping a victim in a relationship and they see no way out. So for me, I just assumed I got one bad apple in the whole barrel, that this didn't happen to other people and that I had an affair. But my daughter, who I knew, she would never have an affair with a married man, I just knew that. So I. Sent her on [00:33:00] retreats. I sent her to church camp without fear because again, I'm thinking, okay, this just doesn't happen to other people and this is not something I need to be concerned about with her. However, with my granddaughters, it's totally different because now I understand what really occurred and the damage that can occur when you've been abused. And so with my granddaughters, her mom and dad have talked to them, about good touch, bad touch. And I too have talked about to her, but I've been a little bit more probably detailed about it. Mm-hmm. And as she gets older, these men, the techniques change as you get older and they, after they go after teenage girls, so mm-hmm. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand, what happens when someone's grooming. I want her to understand her personal space, that if you're not comfortable when someone hugs you, it's okay. That's right. Say I, I don't want you to touch me that way. Mm-hmm. Or say if they don't feel comfortable and we put a lot on kids to do that. 'cause here [00:34:00] we're asking a child to say to an adult, no. Mm-hmm. So it's okay to go to your mother or your mom and say, can you tell so and so Uncle Jimmy or whoever it is, I don't wanna be hugged. So we need to make sure our kids understand that their personal space is their space. And if they don't want someone in that space, it's okay to say no. I also think it's important to tell kids that good people can do bad things. Yeah. Because, as we talked about earlier, our abusers are not strangers. They're not mean people. Mm-hmm. They're usually good people. They're usually people who've given us gifts. They're people who help us. They're people who tell us how wonderful we are. So it's hard for children, even adults, to see this individual who. Who on one side is a good individual who does a lot in the church, who's done all these wonderful things. And so we, we have to tell these kids, just because they're a good person doesn't mean they can't do bad things. And so that's kind of the message I hope to get to my granddaughters that I didn't give to my [00:35:00] daughter. And fortunately she didn't have any issues with church or any, anybody abusing her. But I certainly did not, guide her in the right way in that sense because I just, like I said, I just assumed that I was the only one that this would ever have happened to. Well, I think, I hear a lot in the church that they don't teach sex ed because they don't want the kids to go out and have sex. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these kids are like ignorant as to, what is healthy and what is not proper, yeah. We need to teach 'em that our bodies or are going to respond. They were built that way. God intended us to have feelings. You know, when we are around the opposite sex, that's normal. Mm-hmm. So we need to make sure kids understand. But there are barriers and there are boundaries that need to be taken. But you're absolutely right when we don't talk at it, then we figure it out on their own. And we could, we can all imagine when you're leaving teenagers to [00:36:00] their own devices to figure out things. That's probably not gonna lead in a good spot. No, we have the internet now, which when we, right. When you and I were younger, we didn't have the internet. We didn't have cell phones. No. If you wanted a Playboy magazine, you had to go to that kind of a neighborhood to get something. Yes. You know? Yes. It was a lot more difficult. Yes, absolutely. But too many parents are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and, you know, everybody listening needs to listen. You need to find a way to talk to them about these things. And one of the techniques that I use with my daughter, just in talking about sex in general, kids don't want to hear their mom and dad talk to 'em about this. So what I did would say, I read a magazine article about this girl who did such and such so that I put it off on something else that's, a non-entity of a person. And I'll say, or Have you ever heard of this? And of course I know she's got a little embarrassed, but I, it opened the dialogue without me coming [00:37:00] out and saying, have you heard of oral sex? Instead, I would talk to her and say, I heard this about this. This is what kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So you kind of have to find techniques and ways to sneak around it sometimes, but you absolutely need to talk to, because they know it's out there and they're going to experiment. That's just part of being a teenager. Yeah, my parents chickened out. They just gave me a book to read. Same, probably the same book. I got, I forget what it was called. Where did I come from? Or something. It was a cartoon book. Mm-hmm. And I'm grateful for that. And, they just, after I finished the book, do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. I had a lot of, older people that were friends and I would actually go to my older. Senior citizen friends and ask them questions rather than ask my parents. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's more comfortable that way for sure. Like I said, it's not the topic that we like to talk to with our kids and our kids don't wanna hear it, but being uncomfortable is not an excuse not to do that. And in school you get [00:38:00] the basics of the mechanics of it, but then that ends, that's all you get there as well. And that's not as helpful either. Yeah. The sixth grade menstrual cycle, health class. Yeah, exactly. That's it. They separate the girls and the boys. Yeah. We were all really embarrassed and Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Great information. So let's, circle around back to, okay, you've been hiding this secret forever. Mm-hmm. And nobody knows about your past. And then one day you got triggered. So what happened that day? Well, that's the first chapter of my book, and that is one day I was driving to a golf tournament in Tennessee. We live in Cincinnati. I was driving, my daughter was in college. She was playing in a golf tournament. I was driving down there and I was about halfway when I saw an exit sign for the town of Kingsport, Tennessee. And that is the. Town to which my [00:39:00] abuser was sent after he left our church, and it just sent me over the edge. Mm-hmm. All of a sudden I'm thinking, I'm in the town where he lives. Am I close to his house? Am I close to the church where he's now a minister? I mean, even though it'd been 27 years, I thought he was probably still there. I didn't know, but that's what my mind was telling me. I, all of a sudden I felt his presence in the car. I, I could smell him. I could hear him. Oh. I was, it was unbelievable to me what was happening to me. I didn't even know what was happening. I pulled to the side of the road Oh, good. And I sobbed. Yeah. I sobbed for about 20 minutes and I was just trying to figure out what was happening because anytime I had trigger factors before I could manage them, I could control them. I kind of let them happen and then I push 'em back down. Mm-hmm. This one wasn't going back down and I was a mess. I was just an absolute mess. I was able to get through the weekend. I drove back home and all I could think about was, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? [00:40:00] I wanted to stop thinking about him and I couldn't. I spent the next two weeks, really in anxiety. I, my husband would leave for work and I would just walk around the house, wring my hands, trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. What was I gonna do with these feelings till at one point I finally decided I was gonna tell my best friend, and I was absolutely petrified to tell her because for the first time in 27 years, I was going to utter the words. I was sexually abused by my youth pastor. And I remember thinking, he's gonna find out and I'm gonna get in trouble. I just, I was 49 years old and I'm still afraid of this man. But I did tell her, it was, it took me a long time to, to get the words out, but I did, she was very supportive. She was very kind. She was patient as she waited for me to tell her. And so that started my journey of healing just by telling that first person. I then told two or three other of my close friends, so the four of us spent [00:41:00] many days and many hours on the screened in porch of one of my friends just letting me talk. Mm-hmm. And being able to express what had happened to me. I wasn't ready to tell all of the story. I mean, there's parts in the book that I won't go into here because they're pretty mm-hmm. Embarrassing and some things that I did. So I wasn't ready to tell them everything, but I told them enough that it helped me start to release what had been done to me. And so that was the first thing that I did, I think. And then the next thing I did, which was so valuable, and I encouraged victims to do it as well, I just read everything I could on clergy abuse or sexual abuse in itself. So I began to learn the terms of grooming, manipulation, gaslighting, and then I could see how he methodically used each one of those things on me to get me to do the things he got me to do, and to stay in that relationship for those five years. And that was huge for me. So [00:42:00] it was, for the first time as I began reading, I understood that I had been abused. Now, it still took me a while to admit that I really was sexually abused because I didn't want that label. I didn't wanna be an abuse victim. And there was a part of me. We all wanna be loved. And so there was still a part of me that I wanted to think that there was some part of him that cared about me, that this wasn't just purely about sex and that he wasn't just using me for his own gratification. And I had to get past that. I had to finally come to terms with, no, this man didn't do the no one who loves you, would do the things he did and ask the things he did of me. So that took me a while, to finally admit, okay, this was an abusive relationship. So I told someone, educating myself, and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to let, I had to let go of the guilt [00:43:00] and shame because any guilt and shame belongs squarely on him. This was a man that I should have been able to trust. It was in a place that should have been the safest place on earth for me. And he took advantage of a vulnerable teenager who had, I didn't have a major crisis in my life, but he knew my home life was an upheaval at times. He knew that I didn't see my dad very much. So he used that to against me. And I had to forgive myself for being who I was at the time and being able to respond the way I did for the coping skills I had at the time. Sure. You can look back. I, and I think, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I do that? But I couldn't because of, of the re of the relationship he had created between us. Mm-hmm. I had lost all power. He was in complete control of this relationship, so I had to forgive myself and that wasn't easy either. Then, and I don't know that this is something all victims should do, but I just felt this need [00:44:00] that I needed to confront him. I just felt like I couldn't move past this unless I was able to face him. Now, I had no contact with him for 27 years. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but I hired a private investigator and he found him ministering in a church in Alabama. And so I had my investigator contact him and we set up a time and a meeting that we would meet. And I took my husband, I took my friend who was a counselor and another friend who was at the church at the time. Um, I wanted her at this point. You told your husband at this point, I'm sorry. Yes, that's correct. I, it was probably three months after I told my friends, that I said to him I would like to meet him in his office and talked to him about something and. I was terrified. I don't know how else to say it. I just was so afraid. Not that I needed to be, but I was. And I probably sat there for almost, [00:45:00] I would say, 40 minutes and just cried. I was able to finally get out. I'm okay, the kids are okay, and then I started crying again. He couldn't have been any more supportive, more loving. I remember looking at his face and I said I was sexually abused by my youth pastor, and he didn't. His expression didn't change, and then I said. I was their babysitter and his face just dropped. And for the first time, I could see the pain I was feeling was reflected in his face. It was, I almost wanted to hug him to say, I'm sorry. 'cause I could see how much it hurt him to know that this had been done to me, especially as a baby. I mean, the picture became complete for him once I said that. And so he was very supportive. I think he was worried about me confronting this man, for a couple reasons. But one, I think he was worried that I would be disappointed in his reaction, and that I would be expecting too much of this [00:46:00] person to understand what he did to me and show any kind of remorse, and that I, it would hurt me even more. And one of my fears was that, I was afraid he wouldn't meet me. I was afraid that he was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna meet with you. And my husband said, oh, he's gonna meet with you all right? Because if he doesn't meet with you, you just tell him. Call the church secretary. We'll call every elder. We're gonna, he, somebody's gonna hear your story if he doesn't want to hear it. So he did agree to meet with me. I went down to Alabama and the meeting took place and I said the things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to get what he did to me. But he didn't, he never could understand the damage. It was almost as if, okay, I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry I did it. Okay, now what do you want? It was, get away. You bother me? Yes. And his greatest fear as most narcissist, and I believe he was, narcissistic, but his greatest fear was that I was going to demand that he be removed from the ministry. I mean, that's what he [00:47:00] was most concerned about, how this was going to impact him. And he should have been out of the ministry. So I went to his. Boss. I was told this, and something happened 27 years ago. He, we think he's safe. We're not worried, in spite of the fact that during the meeting he had admitted that there had been multiple occurrences of sexual misconduct throughout his ministry. Not all teenagers, some were most were probably women. And then he said he had gone to therapy because he had been identified as a sexual addict. And I kept thinking, who, what? What world, what world? Does this make sense that a man who has been identified by a psychologist as a sex addict belongs in the ministry? Nope. But here was this church. So I sent a letter to his 11 elders thinking, okay, somebody in this eldership is gonna see this. Is I something's wrong here. Not one responded totally [00:48:00] ignored me. 11 elders totally ignored me. Wow. No worries. So then, I decided to go to his denominational leaders, which were in Indianapolis. And there again, while they were sympathetic to my story and apologize that it happened, they said, we're an independent church. Our churches hire and fire their own ministers. We have no control and if they choose to keep this man, we can do nothing about it. And so what, I was shut down and basically I had no place else to go. I had pretty much. Done everything I could do. And it wasn't my place in the man that he be removed. I expected the church to be, the church was to do the right thing. Exactly. I assumed so naively that once they heard my story and once they understood the background of this man, surely someone would say, this isn't right. But again, keep in mind he's very charismatic. He brings in [00:49:00] people, he brings in money. And to be fair, and probably I'm being a little too gracious, these men are very good at manipulating not only the victim but the congregation as well. They're very good at getting control of the congregation so that they find themselves following this man no matter what he would do. Yeah. And that's basically what happened. There was going to be, I got a four page letter from his boss telling me that, know, I'm going to. Ruin this church if I continue on this path and that I'm going to feel all this guilt because I'm gonna be responsible for the damage that I will do to pe people's spiritual lives. I mean that, it was an incredible, I put the letter in the book, I, because it is so incredibly, hard to believe that someone write that to a victim of abuse. Just So that was What year did that happen? 2004. Okay. So we did have. We did have the internet. Oh, yes. And this was after the Catholic, [00:50:00] church had their, exposure of sexual abuse within their church. So yes, this was, it was out there for sure. This wasn't something that you would think, oh, I can't believe this happened. And again, he had admitted to these past instances. I mean, this wasn't someone who was saying, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Or, oh, this is the only time it ever happened. He had been in therapy because he was a sexual addict, So he wasn't registered as a sex offender? I guess not. And in my case, at the time of the abuse, the age of consent was 16. So I had no legal recourse because of I was either legally age of consent. Now that has been changed in Ohio. It's now 18. It's now 18, but many states it's still 16. There are several states where the age of consent is 16. Now, the interesting about that is. His contact sexual contact with me was not considered a crime. However, if he had been my high school teacher, it would've been a crime. What, so pastors I know [00:51:00] does not make sense. It does not make a leg of sense. No, it does not. So it, they don't consider him a teacher. They don't cons, they don't, they considered an affair. A mutual. Relationship if he'd been my teacher, that's a different story. So yeah, I had no legal recourse. And that was frustrating. But I couldn't change that. So it was what it was. I just had to accept that he, yes, he belonged in jail. Yes, there's no doubt and should be registered as a sex offender, but I'm not so sure that even if he's registered as a sex offender, these people in Alabama and wherever he is now, would. Even take that as a concern. Well, you know, the millennials now, they'll just, they just post stuff on Facebook and Twitter and call the evening news and they have, yes. News people at their doorstep, right. Ready to mm-hmm. Track this guy's name through the mud. Mm-hmm. But you didn't choose to do that, I guess. No, you know, I'm very careful about naming him in the sense that, part of my story is that I [00:52:00] reconnected with his wife. She actually divorced him after they moved, because again, he committed sexual misconduct. She was 20, I think, at the time, so it wasn't a minor, but that's beside the point. This is a man in a position that, a professional who does not cross boundaries like that. So, to no one surprise, he committed sexual misconduct the third time, so she divorced him. And part of, I guess letting go of some of the guilt that I felt, I wanted to. Connect with her to at least tell her, not that I was responsible for what happened, but how very sorry I was for her pain and suffering as well because she was part of the youth group. I mean, she was there at the church all the time. We sang in the choir together. So it was like I had a relationship with her. Oh wow. To some extent. And of course when, we were found, when he was found out by the elders, she was upset and she of course, didn't wanna have anything to do with me, which is understandable. So I actually think I [00:53:00] also wanted to give her the opportunity to say whatever she felt she needed to say to me if she wanted to. I mean, I didn't know what she was gonna say or react. I thought maybe she'd hang up on me. I didn't know. So I called her one day. My investigator found her phone number and gave it to me, and she couldn't have been any more gracious. I, she never blamed me. She understood as she, as the years went on, what this really was just like I did. She's remarried. She's has a wonderful husband now. And so I visited her several times. We keep in contact. And so part of my not wanting to expose him too much is that it would be hurtful to her. And he does have children. Now. I know that, well, whatever consequences are as a result of this are all on him, but I don't feel the need to add to that. That's not my purpose in speaking out. And so, mm-hmm. I've gone to his church leaders, I've done everything I can to get him removed from the ministry. And nothing, it's just [00:54:00] he's still, I don't know that he's still a pastor, but he still remains in good standing within that denomination to this day. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to just let God. Right. Dish out the justice. It may not be in our timeline, it may not be the way that we think it should happen, but Right. He's not gonna get away with this. No. And again, I did my part. Yes. So my conscience is clear and I am able to say I did what I could do and whether or not they removed him, I certainly hope that I maybe put some doubt in some of their minds and maybe questioned their motives in keeping this man. I don't know. But, I feel I did what I could do and I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Absolutely, you should. And what I'm really interested in is, you're trying to keep this stuff from happening to other people, so, I mean, what can we do to prevent some of this stuff? Well, it's [00:55:00] difficult again, because these men are among us as wolves in sheep's clothing, and so they're difficult to spot. But a couple things. I think the first thing I would tell people is if something doesn't seem right. Keep your antenna up. Don't just ignore it or just don't think, oh, well that can't be true because he's the pastor. Mm-hmm. If it's behavior that you wouldn't accept in someone else, or it's something that you would question in someone else, then question it in the pastor or the choir director, whoever it is. Don't be blinded by the person. The persona that they're presenting to you. So that's the first thing I would say is keep your antenna up. The other thing is we, and we're churches, I think are doing better about this, but you've got to have policies in place that say, no, you're not taking a 16-year-old girl on your hospital visit with you. Yes. That's, that's not normal. That's not right. What is she doing going on a hospital visit with you in a car? And of course now we have the texting [00:56:00] and there should be absolutely no texting between a pastor, a youth minister, and anyone in the congregation. And that includes, no, don't forget the meeting for the church luncheon. No, there should be no texting because you, it's too hidden and it's too easily moved to the next step. And that's how it starts. You know, all of the abuse when it's someone you know, it always starts with small things and subtle things. It doesn't, innocent things. Innocent things that, yeah, that, that are innocent. But so that's why, so no texting. Yeah. So put in the policy, those places of, when you take a 10-year-old child to the bathroom, you make sure there's another adult with you. Absolutely. That's for your safety as well as for the child's safety. Mm-hmm. So I, I think we need to be aware. And then I would also say watch for the vulnerable in your, among your church or your group. Watch for the kid that's got issues at home and is looking for a father figure. Be aware that they're going to be more susceptible to someone who's a predator and pay [00:57:00] attention to their cues and kind of keep in touch with them as well in a sense of asking questions and how they're doing and be the kind of a person that they might feel comfortable coming to if something were to happen to them because they're the ones that are gonna be most vulnerable, to a predator. So that's kind of, an overview of what. Maybe a help to try and stop and prevent some of this. Yes, I like lots of video cameras. They're cheap now. You can put a camera, you can hide cameras all over the church facility and Yes. And I think too, talking to this about this issue to the congregation before anything happens, maybe having a person in your congregation who is the go-to person on this topic, who, who's researched what all these grooming and manipulation is so that they are even more equipped to, to notice the signs. So you have a person who's kind of in charge of that topic and then address it to the congregation once a year and say, here's our policy and here's what we expect of our pastors and here's what we would hope you would [00:58:00] do if you notice something. So it just brings it out so that people feel like if there is something that they know is going on or something's wrong, they feel comfortable going to someone about it. Those are all really great tips for leaders and, church members. So what, what if I am listening and I am being subjected to some of this stuff, what should I do? Well, what you need to do and what is the hardest thing to do is to tell someone. Yeah. And it's hard to do because when you're in an abusive relationship, you are being controlled by your abuser. And the narrative is what he is directing. And so he's going to tell you, look, you can tell anybody you want. They're not gonna believe you. And he tells you that over and over again. He's also going to tell you that you are going to be in trouble if you tell anyone. And then there's that problem of you sort [00:59:00] of care about this person. Here's someone that has been helping you, who's been your mentor, and you don't wanna get him in trouble. So with all those dynamics involved, it's very difficult for victims to come forward. But I am telling you, you don't wanna wait the 27 years that I did no. And live with this guilt and the shame and the angst and the anxiety. First of all, it's not worth it. You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, because there is help out there. But they can only help you if you're able to be able to tell someone. And believe me, I understand how difficult that is. It's not easy. Mm-hmm. But I would hope that I hearing my story and others that you will understand that there is help out there and you need to tell someone. 'cause it won't end until you tell someone. And if you need to, you go to someone that you trust. And if you need to, you go outside the church. Yes. You tell someone you know is going to listen to you. [01:00:00] Hey, I tell my listeners, you can call me anytime mm-hmm. And email me and I'm sure you'd say the same thing. Exactly. Reach out to Sandy if mm-hmm. You need somebody to talk to. Mm-hmm. Or you don't know what is the next step I need to take here? Right. It is scary to make First step. It's very scary. Very scary. Absolutely. So then there's the rest of us, those that have not experienced clergy abuse, maybe we're members in the church, maybe we're friends or family. What are some helpful things for us to do to support a victim? Helpful things to say, maybe there's things we shouldn't say, well, that's a yes. First, I would say anytime you're aware of a victim of clergy abuse or anybody who's been abused, whether it's clergy or not, reiterate to that victim that it was not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done, should have done that would've prevented this. And by doing that, you are [01:01:00] telling that person they're free to speak to you. And victims need to hear it over and over again because we do blame ourselves. Children as young as five will blame themselves because they allowed someone to touch them 'cause mommy said not to. And the that guilt in that shame that victims carry, it's difficult to let go of it. So to hear someone say to us, it's not your fault is so freeing. So that's the first thing. The second thing I would say is. Let them know that you will listen to them without judging them, and you will hear their story without being shocked that you are able to say, tell me everything you need to tell me, or Tell me as little as you wanna tell me. Give them a comfort place to go to talk. And then I would say, and this is difficult for people who have spiritual lives or who are part of the church, be very much aware that things such as prayer and Bible reading and [01:02:00] scripture can be very triggering for those who've been abused in the church. Mm-hmm. So things that you would find comforting like prayer. Can be a very major trigger factor for victims. And so instead of saying to a victim, I'll pray for you, or Can I pray with you? The best thing you could say would be to phrase it in such a way as to say, I understand because of what you've been through, prayer can be difficult. And so I would like to pray for you, but I would completely understand if you don't want to pray or you won't, don't even want me to pray for you. And so you've opened up the door to say to this person, wow, I don't have to feel guilty because I can't pray. You know, when we've grown up in the church and we've been told how wonderful church and prayer and all those things are, we still carry that guilt too because we're no longer connected to God. So to have a person on the outside. Recognize that these can be trigger factors is again, a gift. It's a [01:03:00] gift. So those things I think would be the most helpful when dealing with a person of clergy abuse. And give them time. Don't push forgiveness. Don't push trying to get them back into church. 'cause some victims will never be able to go back to church if you let them find their own pace of time and you do it without judging them. And I know that's kind of hard sometimes for Christians and people in the church because we love the church and we find it to be such a wonderful place and we want this person back in the church. Yes. But it, it may not be the best place at that point for that victim. Such valuable advice. I That is awesome. And again, back to like, when you're talking about the sex education, open up the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Bring it up. Bring it up before they bring it up. Again, I read in the newspaper that this girl was molested by, a gym teacher. You know that, that ha I know that happens. And then let 'em know that if. It is, like you said, allowing that comfort to be able to [01:04:00] talk to someone. I think for me it was important to give my side of the story. No one had a clue that he was emotionally and verbally and physically abusive to me. They saw this as a little love affair and that we had this, magic little love affair. Evil temptress. Yes, exactly. And so I wanted them to know the full story. That was important for my healing too. And they did that. And, they welcomed me back to the church. I went back, I've been back a couple times for, a youth group reunion that we had. So, and that was difficult. But again, I thought that was necessary for me to move forward. I had to let go of my past. I had to figure out, not to forget it, but how was I going to incorpo

Adeline Atlas 11 X Published AUTHOR Digital Twin: Create Your AI Clone: https://www.soulreno.com/digital-twinSOS: School of Soul Vault: Full Access ALL SERIES⁠https://www.soulreno.com/joinus-202f0461-ba1e-4ff8-8111-9dee8c726340Instagram:⁠https://www.instagram.com/soulrenovation/Soul Renovation - BooksSoul Game - https://tinyurl.com/vay2xdcpWhy Play: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/2eh584jfHow To Play: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/2ad4msf3Digital Soul: https://tinyurl.com/3hk29s9xEvery Word: ⁠⁠http://tiny.cc/ihrs001Drain Me: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/bde5fnf4The Rabbit Hole: https://tinyurl.com/3swnmxfjDestiny Swapping: https://tinyurl.com/35dzpvssSpanish Editions:Every Word: https://tinyurl.com/ytec7cvcDrain Me: https://tinyurl.com/3jv4fc5n

Intimacy and sex… two words we mix up way too often.We linked up with Point Maker Podcast and special guest Kasandra aka Poodie to break down the difference between touching the body and connecting with the soul.

Join us as we countdown The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® and reflect on the year that has been and the year to come. | “Where you are a year from now is a reflection of the choices you make today.” —Anonymous Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage? Yes it is! In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You'll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach. Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today! Links from today's episode: Free Intimacy Lifestyle Planner The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Quiz Join Intimacy Mastery Today Apply for Coaching With Alisa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you picture your marriage looking like in ten years? What about twenty? Will it be better than it is today?  One thing is for sure: it will be different. The good news is there are some things you can start doing now and ensure your marriage makes it long-term and thrives. In this week's interview, author Dr. Kim Kimberling joins Jim Ramos to discuss his book, "Love, Intimacy, and Sex in the Second Half."  Dr. Kim shares his experience from his 54 years of marriage on what we can do to bulletproof our marriages.  Here is the link to Dr. Kim's book: https://tinyurl.com/SecondHalf115 (Using our link to check out the book helps support our ministry - thanks!) Jim's newest book, Guardrails: Ten Boundaries for an Unbreakable Marriage will be releasing in April 2026. Sign up to be notified when it's available at https://meninthearena.org/guardrails. This episode is sponsored by Compassion International. Our goal is for the Men in the Arena tribe to sponsor 1,000 boys over the coming year! Help us reach that goal and make a difference in a child's life today. When you sponsor a child using our link, you'll receive a free copy of Jim's book, Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God! We are also sponsored by MTNTOUGH Fitness Lab, a Christian-owned fitness app. This app, combined with diet, has helped Jim get in the best shape of his life! Get 6 weeks free with the code ARENA30 at MTNTOUGH.com. Every man needs a locker room. Apply to join an exclusive brotherhood of like-minded men in The Locker Room, our monthly live Zoom Q&A call! We meet in the Locker Room once a month for community, fellowship, laughter, and to help each other find biblical answers to life's difficult questions. Locker Room members also get access to monthly exclusive leadership trainings, historically only available to the staff team at Men in the Arena. Membership is by application only. Go here to apply: https://patreon.com/themeninthearena Get Jim Ramos' USA TODAY Bestselling book, Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God (https://tinyurl.com/dialedinbook)   

205  Why does unhappiness and irritation so often sneak into even the most loving marriages? Usually, it's through the silent killer of connection: non-acceptance.In this episode, we're diving deep into the "Acceptance Switch"—that internal shift that moves us from judging our partner's flaws to making peace with their full, messy, human selves. I share the raw truth about my two marriages: how a lack of acceptance created a cycle of shame and distance in my first, and how consciously choosing to perceive my second husband's "shortcomings" through the lens of acceptance has unlocked a level of joy and playfulness I never thought possible.We also explore:The Cultural Root of Intolerance: Why society has conditioned us to reject our partners full selves, including moods and behaviors.The "Human Inheritance": Understanding that your partner's frustrating patterns aren't personal—they are often a genetic and cultural "ball and chain" they didn't choose.The Growth Paradox: Why true growth and change in a relationship only happen after you've established a foundation of radical safety through acceptance.Acceptance vs. Tolerance: Why accepting someone's humanity is the opposite of being a "pushover."To help you kick off the year with a heart-centered reset, I'm walking you through a New Year Acceptance Process. We'll unpack the "stories" we tell ourselves about our partners and learn how to see through the fog of expectations to find the sweetness that's been there all along.Stop fighting your partner's humanness and start reaping the gifts of making peace with who your partner really is.SHOW NOTES:Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started here. See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it's affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!Most people think intimacy equals sex, but here's what we've discovered: there are actually 12 different types of intimacy you can experience with your partner, friends, family, and even coworkers. Sexpert hosts, Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown dive deep into all of them, sharing their our own intimacy strengths and blind spots, and give you practical tools to create deeper connections in every relationship.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTSThe Complete 12 Types Revealed - Sexual, emotional, creative, recreational, work, intellectual, aesthetic, commitment, conflict, communication, crisis, and spiritual intimacy (yes, they're all interconnected!)"Into Me I See" Principle - True intimacy is about being deeply seen and understood by another person, creating belonging and meaning in your lifeThe Three Pillars of All Intimacy - Trust, vulnerability, and presence are the foundation that supports every type of connectionEssential Communication Tool - Ask "What do you need from me right now?" with three options: listening, problem-solving, or distractionOur Vulnerable Self-Assessment - Willow's top three are spiritual, sexual, emotional while Leah's are commitment, creative, emotional (plus where we both struggle)Beyond Your Partner - These intimacy types apply to all relationships and can help couples who've lost connection find their way back to each otherLINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND HERE ON THE WEBSITELAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20Support the show FREEBIE- Introduction to Tantric Kissing Video and Workbook SxR Website Dr. Willow's Website Leah's Website

In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy break down how couples can stop “trying harder” and start creating real, lasting change in their marriage and good marriage goals couples should set for 2026 to help them find Ultimate Intimacy in their relationship.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

What does dating look like later in life, and personal growth? In this powerful episode, host Chuck Tuck sits down with Dr. Victoria Vaughn to unpack the realities of senior dating, online dating, and redefining intimacy beyond sex.Drawing from real-life dating stories and her candid memoir, Oh, the Frogs I Kissed Before I Finally Found My Prince, Dr. Vaughn shares hard-earned dating advice, common dating pitfalls, and lessons learned while navigating love after loss. Together, they explore why intimacy doesn't always mean physical connection, how self-reflection shapes healthier relationships, and why friends, family, and financial stability often play a bigger role than we expect.From spotting red flags in online dating to balancing heart and logic, this conversation offers insight, honesty, and hope for anyone seeking meaningful relationships later in life. Whether you're dating again, considering it, or supporting someone who is, this episode delivers wisdom you can apply immediately.

What if your trip to Portugal went beyond the highlights and into the heart of everyday life?In this episode of Transform With Travel, Kelly sits down with Paula Alves, co-founder of Portugal by TRAVELTAILORS, to explore what it truly means to experience Portugal through culture, tradition, and human connection.Paula shares how her childhood spent between the United States and rural Portugal shaped her passion for preserving traditions, supporting small family-run businesses, and designing deeply personal itineraries that go far beyond Lisbon, Porto, and the Algarve. From village festivals and granite stone homes in the north to food, wine, crafts, and multi-generational storytelling, this conversation reveals why Portugal is best discovered slowly, thoughtfully, and with the right local partners.This episode is an invitation to step off the checklist, reclaim time as the ultimate luxury, and experience Portugal as a living, breathing culture.You will learn:How Paula's childhood in rural northern Portugal inspired the creation of Portugal by TRAVELTAILORSWhy Portuguese culture is rooted in tradition, community, and rural lifeThe difference between seeing Portugal's cities and truly understanding the countryHow gastronomy and wine experiences reveal the heart of Portuguese cultureWhy small, family-owned businesses are central to sustainable travelWhat makes private, intimate experiences more meaningful than mass tourismRegions in Portugal advisors should emphasize beyond Lisbon and PortoWhy time, space, and immersion are the new luxury in travelHow Portugal is evolving as a destination for repeat visitors and premium travelersWe talk about:00:00 Intro 02:30 Paula's childhood between the U.S. and rural Portugal04:00 Life in northern villages, family traditions, and simplicity06:00 The inspiration behind Portugal by TRAVELTAILORS07:30 Portuguese culture, tradition, and rural life vs modern cities09:30 Northern Portugal, villages, animals, landscapes, and architecture11:00 Gastronomy, cooking workshops, and wine-making experiences13:00 Harvest season, grape stomping, and authentic timing15:00 Working with artisans, chefs, and small producers17:00 Sustainability, relationships, and supporting family-owned businesses19:00 Intimacy vs mass tourism and why small

Make Morality Mainstream Again The adultification of teen fiction has intentionally Frankensteined books for teens into cesspools of ideological normalization. A while ago, I met a mother and her daughter, the latter of whom I hadn't seen in several years. On the cusp of turning twelve, she'd obviously grown in the time since, and, her mother proudly informed me, had become quite the reader. Indeed, the girl held quite a thick book in her hand. Which was it? The girl showed me the cover. I turned to the mother. “Do you know what your daughter is reading?” She'd figured telling her eleven-year-old she could read whatever was marked 14+ was a safe enough guardrail for appropriate content. As reading is an experience between book and reader, the mother wouldn't have seen what her daughter was taking in. She couldn't either know that her daughter's book was familiar not because it was something I'd read but because it was something I wouldn't. Worse, she thought she could trust the institution. THE READING DILEMMA Parents want kids to read, but as most can't keep up with their reading habits, they don't fully realize what's being allowed, even promoted, in books for young readers. As with other once vaunted institutions, the publishing world has morphed in ways many aren't fully aware of. Over a decade ago, I signed my first contract for Young Adult (YA) fiction. Before and since, I've watched the genre boom through the stages of audience demographic to viable business. Throughout, YA has expanded from books for teens to a genre unto itself, attracting talented writers, lucrative contracts, and the golden goose of Hollywood adaptations. YA is officially for readers 14-18 years (and up). However, as it's after Middle Grade (8-12 years), tweens are frequent readers, plus many eleven-year-olds reading up. There is “lower” and “upper” YA, but they're unofficial categories for libraries or writers specific about their target audience. Most retailers and publishers categorize all teen books under the general YA umbrella. NA, New Adult, mainly written for college-aged readers into their early twenties, is often sheltered under the YA umbrella too. Alongside the wider publishing industry, YA has changed significantly over the years, reflecting broader shifts in society. What follows isn't an analysis on talent or quality but content, as something about words in a book makes what's written more real, valid, romantic, admirable, aspirational. Thus, the intent is to shed light on some of the many topic and imagery that are included in books for young readers. At risk that this won't earn me any friends in publishing (at best), here's some of what I've seen: DEVOLUTION OF YA FICTION Growth of the YA audience/genre is an objective benefit, logical as it is to increase methods for targeting potential customers. As YA has increased in business and position, its morphing into genre unto itself has attracted many adults readers. As a YA author, I read mainly within my market and see the appeal for adult readers considering how well the genre's developed. The migration of older readers to YA is certainly one of the many reasons it's been so adultified. Other factors include the poisonous stranglehold ideological tentacles have on many aspects of culture, entertainment, and education. The shifts adults have finally caught onto in adult fiction and film have infected literature for younger audiences, picture books through YA. A quick example, originally, romantic comedies centered on a man and woman who clashed at the outset, then eventually found their way to each other at the end. The story would build to some romantic declaration, then a kiss. Anyone who's been watching knows that there's now a whole lot of touching that happens before any romantic declaration occurs. Longer, more frequent kisses are only second to scenes of the pair sleeping together before deciding how they really feel about each other. All this is becoming commonplace in YA. What was once cutesy stories about a high school girl chasing a crush has now become stories featuring a whole lot of other firsts, even seconds, and then some. The devolution of YA is a result of purposeful normalization and reshaping of societal norms through manipulatively emotional appeals by writers, agents, and editors. On average, books from larger publishing houses take roughly eighteen months to two years to evolve from contract to product on the shelf. To say, story trends are set in motion well before their rise in popularity. Whatever the view on agents as gatekeepers to the larger houses, publishers only publish so many books in a year, an amount significantly less than all the people who want to be published. Hence, agents act as preliminary filters for editors, whittling down potential authors to relatively more manageable numbers. An agent must really believe in a writer and project to nab one of those few spots. Like most creative fields, writing is highly subjective, so in addition to general quality, each agent and editor has preferences for stories they want to work with. They're also usually pretty clear about what they're looking for, so part of the progression of change can be traced back to what's being requested. CHARACTER INCLUSION CHECKLISTS When I first entered the “querying trenches,” wish lists from agents mainly specified genres and their various offshoots. Although ideologies make a home in all genres, most were subtler, more akin to a light sprinkling than the deluge of today. Within a few short years, wish lists changed. Unofficial “checklists” appeared in the now familiar cancerous categories of equity, representation, marginalization, and other socialist pseudonyms. Nonfiction for teens is dominated by activism, coming out, and adaptations of left-wing figures' biographies. Rather than prioritize quality, potential, uniqueness, the new gatekeeping is often focused on the inclusion of certain ideologies. For the first while, emphasis was on strong female characters, an odd request considering the YA market is dominated by female writers and readers. Previous character portrayal thus had little to do with some imagined patriarchal oppression. Now, female characters are “fierce”, projections of feminist fantasies celebrating girl bosses who are objectively pushy, uncooperative, obnoxious, self-righteous, and/or highly unrealistic. Somehow, they capture the most desirable love interest, a magical combination of masculinity and emotional vulnerability, who is inexplicably un-neutered by support of her domineering principles. Frequently, the girl makes the first move. Worse than overbearing feminism is unrealistic portrayals of a girl's physical abilities accompanied by most unsavory rage and wrath and anger. Supposedly, these traits aren't anathema to the gorgeous guys (when it is a guy) these girls miraculously attract. Unless there's a moth to flame metaphor here, it's a lie to pretend wrath is a healthy attraction. This well reflects the move away from what's become so-last-century stories featuring underdogs who searched deep for courage and heart to overcome challenges, raising up others alongside themselves. A time when character development focused on, well, character. More wholesome stories have been replaced with a self-proclaimed oppressed burning with self-righteous rage and violence. Such characters have seeped into fantasy for adults as well, most notably in armies featuring female combat soldiers and warriors without special powers, who somehow go toe-to-toe if not best male counterparts. Often this sort of matchup is shown as some cunning of smallness, agility, and destruction of arrogant male condescension. Never mind that such fighting is highly unrealistic, and any male is rightly confident if paired against a woman in physical combat. No amount of small body darting or ingenuity will save a girl from the full force of one landed male punch. The unquestioned portrayal of women able to best men in physical combat is worrying considering the real possibility of a reader confusing fact with fiction. Besides, a country which sends its women to war will no longer exist, as it's a country with males but not men. The current not-so-secret of major houses is that a book doesn't have a high chance of getting published if it doesn't check certain markers, especially for midlist and debut authors, though A-listers are not immune. A Caucasian is hardly allowed to write a story featuring a so-called BIPOC, but a straight author must somehow include the ever-expanding gay-bcs, and it must be in a positive light. Some authors were always writing these characters, which at least reflects acting of their own volition. For the rest, many didn't start until required. Because of the careful wording around these ideologies, many don't speak out against these practices so as not to appear hateful and bigoted. The mandated appearance of so-called marginalized and under-represented in stories lest the author risk erasing…someone, somehow also operates along these lines. Although, apparently, only very specific groups are at risk of disappearing. These standards are ridiculous in their least damaging iterations. How many so-anointed BIPOC were consulted over their standard portrayals? How can every individual of every minority be consulted for approval, and who chooses which faction decides? How many Latinos, speakers of gendered language, agreed to Latinx and Latine? Christian characters in mainstream publishing are rarely portrayed as steadfast believers or even rebels rediscovering faith. Jewish stories usually feature a character who's “lived experience” is assimilation, so the character is of a religion but doesn't represent it. A real portrayal of the true beliefs these characters come from would not align with the world mainstream publishing wants to shape. Even more ludicrous is that “disabled” and “neurodivergent” are considered identities, as if a physical or medical condition is cause for new labeling. The approach used to be that you are still you, worthy of respect and consideration, despite these conditions. In the glorified world of the self-hyphenate, the world of we-are-our-self-declared-identity, it's the foremost feature mentioned, with accompanying expectation of praise and exaltation, regardless of an individual's character or behavior. Don't confuse the argument against the labeling with the individuals, because they are separable. Worse than the tokenism is the reduction of individuals to secondary characteristics. Is this really the first thing you have to say about yourself, the most essential thing to know? When did it become norm to turn skin color or medical condition or physical ability into a character trait, the very notion of which says that anyone in this group must be viewed primarily through this lens, as if each is exactly the same? How myopic. How belittling. Following the cue set by movies, books for teens also morphed from cutesy rom-coms to ideological showcases. Unsurprisingly, there's been the introduction of the stereotypical gay best friend. Then storylines focusing on coming out or discovering someone close was gay, with accompanying template for writing them. The one coming out is always the strong one, the resilient one, though much language must be banned lest they be offended or erased, so their strength is dependent upon a carefully constructed bubble. Not only is inclusion necessary but happiness is the only possible, deliberately portrayed reaction. Never mind if some or all of it runs counter to a writer's religious beliefs. Moreover, “I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'll still treat you with respect” was never an acceptable response. And it is an acceptable response in all manner of situations, unless you exorcise it in efforts to forcibly shape a particular worldview. Additionally, the attitude is that since you can't tell me who to love, and loving this person makes me happy, you must not only ally but champion me. Why is it offensive to present different acceptable, respectful reactions to teens? Who exactly is erased if this character isn't presented at all? As before, don't confuse the argument against mandate with the individuals. The contention isn't about love, but about religion protecting the sanctity of romantic relationships and marriage, a religious practice since the dawn of time, as seen across centuries and civilizations. Marriage is described as sanctified and holy, because it's Divine in nature, and thereby under the domain of the religious. If it's just a contract, then of course any government can regulate it. It’s disingenuous to deny that such enforcement clashes with the very nature of what writing is about. It shuts down discussion, then subverts it entirely by pretending there's nothing to debate. That shouldn't be a source of pride for publishing, but deepest shame. In their efforts to supposedly widen the window of story matter, they've narrowed the frames and tinted the panes to exclude suddenly unacceptable voices entirely. PORNOGRAPHY AND CONSENT Compounded upon all this, most books are no longer relatively clean romances building to a single kiss, as every stage of the relationship has become more explicit. Some scenes are akin to manuals, containing the sort of imagery once the sole province of steamy romances. When efforts are rightly made to remove these books from shelves, screeches of censorship! erasure! representation! resound. We wouldn't, and shouldn't, tolerate any adult approaching a kid on the street and telling stories with such description, nor should we allow it from close friends or family. Authors do not hold special status in this, no matter what the screechers screech. Taking such books off shelves isn't an indication of bigotry, intolerance, hatred, or erasure, but moral obligation. The counterargument from writers, agents, and editors is that explicit detail is necessary because of something to do with “lived experiences” and consent. First, if kids are doing it anyway, then adults definitely needn't assist. Second, consent is not quite the magical word society would have us believe. Third, “everyone has different experiences” is not a reason for writing graphic content, and the replacement of “intimacy” with “experience” is largely responsible for why relationships are in the gutter and leaving people unfulfilled. Intimacy is something private between two individuals; experience is a vague euphemism to pass off what should matter as transitory, despite irrevocable effects. It's difficult to imagine in an age when phones, cameras, and microphones track a person everywhere, but there was once an ideal called privacy, and the intimate was part of it. Pushback also leads to defenses of “sexuality,” another way of saying adults want to teach kids all kinds of ways to pursue these “experiences”. Changing the wording doesn't alter the nature but does allow immoral actors to force celebration of their fantasies and fetishes. The wrongness is incontestable, though not surprising from those who promote polyamory for teens and romantic relationships between humans and demons or other ungodly creatures. The feeble argument for writing scenes of teens sleeping together is they must see what consent looks like. Again, authors do not hold special status or exemption. There is no strong enough argument for writing scenes for teens in which one character undresses another and verbally asks permission every step of the way. Especially because the new trend seems to be the girl not only “consenting”, but also a burning I want this. If she wants, this wording implies, then she must have, abandoning all reason and morality. Consent has become an excuse for all sorts of undesirable, immoral, even illegal behavior, but mutual agreement is supposed to make it okay. This isn't the behavior we should be promoting for teens; we should be giving them better things, bigger ideas to think about. Worst of all, why is any adult writing about two sixteen-year-olds sleeping together? A teenager, no matter how mature, is still developing and while smart and clever not really old enough to fully understand what she's “consenting” to, and is probably being taken advantage of. We treat eighteen with the same magical power as consent, as if any age should be sleeping around, even if legalese only extends so far. Teen pregnancy, abortion overall, would hardly be an issue if everyone stopped sleeping with people they shouldn't. Any adherent to morality knows this, though morality is just another thing scuttled from teen fiction. G-dless ideology is the new morality; immoral, manmade gods have replaced G-d; lust is the new love; sexuality excuse for pornography; perceived racism and misogyny validation for violence and rage. Many are we who did not consent to this. These scenes are in teen films as well, though how many parents know this in an age of individual devices? Adults pretending to be teens take each other's clothes off before a camera for real tweens, teens, and/or adults to watch. Please explain in clear and simple language why this is not a form of pornography. What absolutely vital role does this scene have in advancing the story? Consent is not enough. Wanting is not enough. We're encouraging teens to turn their bodies into used cars, dented, scraped, scarred, and baggage laden, for what? Why is this hollowing out of self and morality good? This serves no benefit for teens and the overall state of relationships. Consent has become an excuse for all sorts of undesirable, immoral, even illegal behavior, but we're supposed to think that everyone agreeing makes whatever they agree to okay. It's incredibly obvious that feminism and the sexual revolution didn't free women, but chain them in a prison of animalistic, unsatisfying desire, dooming them to jadedness, frustration, and loneliness. But they're so responsible! So mature! By such logic, a responsible sixteen-year-old should be able to buy guns, alcohol, and drugs. But identity! No, identity doesn't mandate a book with graphic imagery, nor is it “sexuality” or “feeling seen” or any other term you hide behind. Witness the tattered remains of social morality that writers do not balk at writing this for teens. They should balk at writing this for anyone. Once we recognized that betterment came through battling temptations. It is not difficult to see how the enforced normalization of all this was also an effective ridding of undesirable shame. Not only have we banished feeling bad, we've enforced celebration of what shame once kept in line. But they'll never be prepared! How did any of us get here if none of this existed for millennia? But look at the sales! Many people also bought rock pets. Deviants and defenders will attempt to claim that (a) this sort of stuff always existed, which isn't really a reason for its continuance, and (b) previous generations were undoubtedly stifled in their inability to express their true selves. Perhaps. And yet, previous generations built civilization, with significantly less medical prescriptions too. Previous generations were better at family and community, meaning and purpose. We have “experiences.” But this is what married people do! Some writers introduce a faux or rushed marriage into the plot, perhaps because their weakening moral compass prevents writing an explicit scene between unmarried characters. Marrying the characters and making them eighteen doesn't magically okay writing this for teens. Everyone does it—indeed there are many common bodily functions which shouldn't be demonstrated in public—isn't either reason enough. Pressures to include these scenes is evidenced by authors long regarded as “clean” storytellers, authors who won't swear or indulge in graphic or gratuitous content, authors who clearly express Christian beliefs in their acknowledgements, writing them too. Would they give this book to their priest? To a young church member? Would they read the scene aloud for family or friends or the very teens they write for? If even the professed religious authors do not have the fortitude to oppose this, if even they can be convinced of the supposed validity, then gone is the bulwark protecting children from the psychological and moral damage resulting from these scenes. But inclusivity! We must reflect the world around them! Considering what's in these books, all should pray teens aren't seeing this around them. Either way, that doesn't excuse writing about it. Moreover, cries for inclusivity from those shutting down differing opinions are inherently without substance. True inclusivity is achieved when stories focus on universal truths and laudatory values shared by all. The fundamental argument is that “could” is not “should”, and the only reliable arbiter between the two is Divinely-based morality. Current permissiveness is only possible in a society which worked for decades to expunge religion from its vital foundational position and influence. The demonization piled atop its degradation was simple insurance that the moral truths of religion wouldn't interfere with the newly established secular order. We can still be good people, they claimed. Witness the tattered remains. Allowing, championing, this sort of writing has not made us better, and instead of listening to concerns, activists and proponents double down. Need you any proof of the separation between ethics and morality and elitism and academia, scroll through an article or two in defense of these scenes. The more “educated” the individual, the twisted the pretzel of rationalization. Rational lies, all of them. These lies are prominently center of the new crusade against so-called “book banning,” although the books are still available at retailers and publishers. Fueled by self-righteous hysteria, activists take great pride in influencing state legislatures to enact decrees against book bans in protection of “lived experiences,” representation, and the like. If a teen doesn't see two boys or girls or more sleeping together, so the thinking goes, then they face imminent, unspecified harm, never mind that their sacred voice has been quashed. They claim BIPOC and queer authors are specifically targeted, failing to mention it's the content not the author rejected. Somehow the bigots are the ones who don't want kids reduced to “sexuality”, while the tolerant are the ones who do. Need anyone ask if these protections extend to writers who don't align or even disagree with their worldview? I'd say these books are better suited for adults, but adults are despairing of the unreadability of books in their categories too. And that aside from the targeted “decolonization” of books and authors that adults, especially men, enjoyed reading. From the myriad of books extant, no plot was ever turned, no story ever dependent upon an explicit scene, in the bedroom or elsewhere. Neither does such render the work art or literature, but rather indecent and abhorrent. Parents struggle to encourage their kids to read when such are the books available. ELIMINATING THE WEST For some time, agents have specifically requested non-western narratives, histories, and legends. Atop the deteriorating state of the current education system, teens aren't being presented with a fictionalized character in history, which may thereby spark interest and curiosity in real history. No wonder they know so little of the past when they're not offered history at all. What does make it in represents very select time periods. Other permitted historical fiction is alternative histories where the past is magicked or reimagined, almost always in some gender swapped way. While alternative histories can be creative, the lack of regular historical fiction seems to indicate the only permitted history is a remade one. Otherwise, most of western history isn't on shelves because no one wants to represent it. Which means no one's fighting for it to be published. Which means young readers aren't given glimpses into the past that made this present and will highly influence the future. And this from those who claim large swaths of the population don't properly teach history. The same who pushed the fabricated and widely debunked lie that slavery was unique to the west, the only culture who actively sought to end it. The same who have yet to consider the absolute necessity of mandating schools to teach the true horrors of communism done right. The same who have a monochrome view of colonization and chameleon approach to the faux oppressed-oppressor narrative. A rather high volume of Asian-based stories, histories, and mythologies fill the market instead. The proliferation of Asian and other eastern fiction isn't objectively concerning, but it's deliberate increase alongside western stories' deliberate decrease is. It's less an expansion of viewpoints and more a supplanting of anything west. I grew up reading historical fiction, but there's a dearth on shelves for teen readers, who must see where we come from through the eyes of characters resembling our ancestors. Instead of walking through time in their shoes and understanding their struggles in the context of when they lived, we project modern ideologies upon the one protagonist somehow vastly ahead of her time. It's deliberately false and disconnects readers from the world that created the one we live in. Whatever your opinion of our world, it was formed in those histories, and we cannot appreciate the present without understanding the world that made it. MENTAL HEALTH Another major trend in teen fiction is the focus on the broad category of mental health, its emergence unsurprising considering the uptick in modern society. Whatever the viewpoint on diagnoses, the truth is that the ones calling for greater awareness have much to do with having caused the issues. Teens living in the most prosperous, free society that ever was should not have such measures of mental health struggles, yet they do. Skim the messaging of the last several decades and it's no wonder why. Teens are raised on a bombardment of lies and damaging viewpoints resulting in a precarious Jenga structure at their foundation. For decades they've been told they can sleep around without lasting consequence, negating the need to build deep, lasting, exclusive relationships. Families, a fundamental source of meaning and grounding, have been shoved aside for the faux glory of sleeping with whomever, whenever, and the new solution of “found family”. Just because a pill supposedly prevents biological consequences doesn't mean a different sort of toll hasn't been exacted. And that follows the perpetual degradation of dress, reducing the entirety of an individual to a form as valued or devalued as any other physical object. Added to the disrespect of the body is the incessant, unfounded claim that “climate change” is going to destroy the planet by…well, soon. Never mind that we're doing better than before, and all predictions have been proven wrong. Imagine what continual doom and gloom does to the mental state of a teenager already grappling with ping-ponging hormones, who should be presented with optimism for the future they're about old enough to create. Well, we have a pill for that too. Teens have been told the American dream is gone by those who set out to destroy it, that American greatness isn't worth dreaming about by those who recolored it a nightmare. Hobbies and collected skills, the work of their own hands, have been shunted for social media trends and unfettered internet access. Phones are given to younger and younger kids, so they don't grow up in the tangible, real world but an algorithmic, digital one. Inevitably, the worst of that world affects them. They're told that they're hated, feared for the way they were born. They're told they're not even who they've been since birth, basic facts purposely turned into issues and doubts to shake the foundation of self. Those most adamant about the contrived need for teens to discover identity are the most diligent at axing their very roots. The response to the mental health crisis, the jadedness, the internal turmoil they've helped facilitate by destroying the enduring, reliable fabric of society is to encourage more of the same empty, hollowing behaviors. Atop all this is never-ending rage, rage, rage. At the base is the deliberate removal of religion. No matter an individual's choice of observance, religion undeniably provides what liberal society and decadence cannot; meaning. Eternal, enduring meaning. The knowing that you're more than a clump of cells passing through this timespan, because you are an integral link in a chain reaching back millennia. Your ancestors didn't endure hardships or fight to build civilization so you could be the end of the line, but so you could gratefully take your place in it. You and your actions matter. Not because you're a political vote or celebrated community, but because you were made in the image of G-d Who woke you today as there's something only you can do in His world. What effect would the proliferation of this messaging in literature have on the mental state of the youth? And for those pontificating about diversity and inclusion, who in truth only want different skin colors espousing the same beliefs, there is no greater unifier than religion. Belief in a higher power unites individuals of different backgrounds, colors, and, most valuably, opinions, in ways no mandate or ideology ever can. While lengthy, the above in no way encompasses all the changes, reasons, and effects pertaining to the devolution of teen fiction. And, as the focus is not on talent but content, it can be shifted as easily as it was before. You may disagree with everything I've written. You may accuse me of jealousy, hatred, bigotry, racism, misogyny, xenophobia, erasure, et al. I only encourage you to look for yourself. Peruse bookstore aisles; click through new releases; check who's getting awards. What do your eyes see?

In this special year-end episode, we revisit the conversations you loved most in 2025: honest, hope-filled moments about intimacy, relationships, sexuality, and the God who designed us for connection. These clips capture the wisdom, clarity, and compassion that resonated deeply with listeners all year long. Whether you're new to the podcast or want a fresh dose of encouragement, this highlight reel brings together the insights that helped people grow in intimacy with God and with each other.  And here are links to the full conversations from which the excerpts were taken for this episode: - Overcoming Contradictions Between What You "Know" and What You Feel About Love, God, Intimacy, and Sex with Michael J. Cusick - Knowing and Being Known: Fulfilling Your Need for Intimacy with Erin F. Moniz - How to Find True Connection Through Courageous Authenticity with Tom Bennardo - From Criticism to Blessing: Transforming How You Speak to Your Spouse with Ann Wilson - More Than Behavior: What Surrendering Your Sexuality to Jesus Means with Dr. Juli Slattery Relationship Prescriptions is listener supported. That means YOU! Would you prayerfully consider how God might ask you to support this ministry financially? And then make your best year-end tax-deductible contribution today. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you! You can leave a confidential comment here. 

This podcast is the audio from a Breastcancer.org ⁠webinar⁠. Many people struggle with intimacy during and after breast cancer treatment, but not everyone knows what to expect or how to manage these issues. Watch this webinar to learn about the physical and emotional challenges, and suggestions to improve sexual health. The featured speakers are Marisa Weiss, MD, Jennifer Barsky Reese, PhD, FSBM, and Kristin Emilia Rojas, MD, FACS. The topics they discuss include: Vaginal dryness and irritation Intimacy while in treatment Decreased desire Pain during sex Decreased breast sensation Fatigue Emotional challenges and self-confidence The impact on relationships with partners In the webinar you will also hear about the importance of discussing sexual health with healthcare providers, different methods and treatments to improve sexual health after breast cancer, the role of counseling and communication in dealing with these issues, and how exercise and lifestyle changes can help. Learn more about sexual health and breast cancer.

Terry Real is a therapist and best-selling author expert on male emotional health and how men can build the skills for healthy relating to others: in relationships, work, friendships and to themselves. We discuss how mixed and ever-changing messages about what masculinity is are impacting the mental and physical health of men and boys. Terry explains how learning the skill of "relationality" leads to improvements in all aspects of boys' and men's lives and shares practical tools for how to do that. We also discuss the essential role of having a close male community to build confidence and self-esteem. This conversation offers actionable guidance for boys, men and women seeking to build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman David: https://davidprotein.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Terry Real (00:02:53) Men & Masculinity, Political vs Psychological Patriarchy, Feminism (00:07:39) Stoicism, Vulnerability, Traditional Masculinity, Emotions (00:10:50) Sponsors: BetterHelp & David (00:13:14) Masculinity Across Decades, Giving; Gratification vs Relational Joy (00:21:54) Healthy Emotional Expression, Connection & Vulnerability; Self-Esteem (00:31:17) Feeling Emotions, Tools: Asking For Help; Fights & "What Do You Need?" (00:35:10) Self-Esteem & Relationship Accountability; Criticism, Redefining Strength (00:40:47) Sponsor: AG1 (00:42:32) Healthy Criticism, Tool: Women & Articulating Needs (00:50:21) Childlike Behavior, Wise Adult & Trauma, Tool: Relational Mindfulness (00:58:11) Tool: Responsible Distance Taking; Self-Interest; Relationship "Biosphere" (01:08:14) Alcohol, Men & Friends, Loneliness, Men's Retreat (01:17:51) Fraternities, Men's Groups, Tool: Relationship vs Individual Support (01:25:39) Sponsor: Function (01:27:27) Lack of Male Friends, Hiking, Community, Teaching Young Men (01:36:11) Cannabis, Alcohol, Young Men & Purpose, Flexibility & Manliness (01:40:40) Work, Life Purpose & Men; Skillful Warriors (01:45:01) Absent Fathers; Early Childhood & Proper Nurturing; Caretaking (01:53:24) Sponsor: Waking Up (01:54:47) Women & Speaking Relationally, Objectivity Battle (01:59:02) Addiction & Disconnection, 12-Step Meetings & Fellowship (02:08:04) Pornography, Internet, Intensity vs Intimacy; Optimization (02:11:57) Tool: Families & Hanging Out; Relational Joy; Relational Recovery (02:22:29) Giving Criticism, Tools: Make Requests; Feedback Wheel (02:28:21) Gratitude, Aging; Skillful Fighting in Relationship & Repair (02:34:17) Men & Self-Esteem, Mentors, Tool: Inner Dialogue without Harshness (02:44:00) Y Chromosome, Wholeness (02:48:00) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send us a textIn this enlightening episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, we are joined by Jeffrey Nuziard, the visionary founder of Sexual Wellness Centers of America. At just 40 years old, Jeff faced a personal health crisis that could have defined his future, but instead, it ignited a passion to help others reclaim their sexual health. He shares his remarkable journey of developing a patented protocol that boasts a 97.2% success rate in treating erectile dysfunction, offering hope to countless men and women. Jeff discusses the stigma surrounding sexual wellness and how he is breaking down barriers to foster open conversations about intimacy and confidence. Listeners will be inspired by his insights into the emotional and physical aspects of sexual health, as well as the importance of addressing the root causes of dysfunction. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion about the power of resilience and the impact of sexual wellness on overall health and relationships. Discover more about Jeff and his work at www.regenmax.com.Support the show

New Year, New Diamond Intimacy — What Really Needs to Shift In this final episode of the New Year, New Diamond Intimacy series, Dr. Sonia explores what truly stands in the way of creating the intimacy you want—and why it's often not what you think. Many women believe intimacy will improve if they try harder, push through exhaustion, or fix themselves. In this episode, Dr. Sonia offers a powerful reframe: intimacy doesn't respond to pressure—it responds to safety, self-compassion, and support. You'll learn why tiredness, low desire, body changes, and communication challenges aren't obstacles to overcome, but signals pointing to what needs care and intention. This episode invites you to move from self-blame to self-support and to see intimacy as something to be nurtured, not forced. This conversation brings the three-part series together with a clear message: you are not broken—you are evolving, and your intimacy gets to evolve with you. ✨ This episode also shares information about The New Year, New Diamond Intimacy Experience, a high-touch coaching opportunity for women ready to create intimacy that feels aligned, nourishing, and alive.

Somewhere between kids, career stress and shifting hormones, many couples realize their intimacy doesn't feel the way it used to. We talk about perimenopause and hormones, but we rarely talk about how these midlife transitions reshape desire, connection and the daily rhythm of long-term relationships.In this conversation, sexual wellness coach Alisa DiLorenzo shares simple ways to revive curiosity, bring back playfulness and rebuild closeness without adding pressure. She also names the emotional patterns that tend to surface in this season, from old frustrations to the feeling of not being fully seen.If you want to feel closer to your partner and move through this moment with more presence and intention, this episode offers a gentle place to start and a reminder that you don't need a new relationship, just a new chapter inside the one you already have.Alisa DiLorenzo is an international marriage coach, speaker, best-selling author and the co-host of the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show, downloaded in 180 countries. She is the author of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy, and her work has helped couples rebuild emotional and sexual connection for over a decade.We Also Discuss:(04:54) Why desire often shifts for both partners in midlife(05:32) How men also experience hormonal changes that affect intimacy(07:02) When sexual challenges signal physical issues versus relational ones(08:58) Rediscovering pleasure and bringing curiosity back into intimacy(10:19) How communication shifts in midlife and ways couples can reconnect(18:02) The impact of emotional patterns, frustrations and feeling unseen(35:43) Simple micro-habits that rebuild connection in long-term relationshipsThank You to Our Sponsors:Sign up for The Well Drop NewsletterFind out more about Amber Berger: Website: www.thewelldrop.com Instagram: @thewelldropFind out more about Alisa DiLorenzo:Website: www.oneextraordinarymarriage.comInstagram: @alisadilorenzo

Nokukhanya Mntambo speaks to Dr Angelique Coetzee of the South African Medical Association about alarming global findings on teen vaping, nicotine addiction and the long-term risks to young people’s health and development. In other interviews, labour expert Galenoe Modisapodi explains why dishonesty can be a fireable offence, Judy Klipin highlights the value of annual goal-setting, Zinhle Tyikwe unpacks the dangers of fake products, while Tracy Ziman Jacobs, Justine Nienaber and Nomndeni Sethole explore sexual wellness, content monetisation and the power of personal branding. The Money Show is a podcast hosted by well-known journalist and radio presenter, Stephen Grootes. He explores the latest economic trends, business developments, investment opportunities, and personal finance strategies. Each episode features engaging conversations with top newsmakers, industry experts, financial advisors, entrepreneurs, and politicians, offering you thought-provoking insights to navigate the ever-changing financial landscape.    Thank you for listening to a podcast from The Money Show Listen live Primedia+ weekdays from 18:00 and 20:00 (SA Time) to The Money Show with Stephen Grootes broadcast on 702 https://buff.ly/gk3y0Kj and CapeTalk https://buff.ly/NnFM3Nk For more from the show, go to https://buff.ly/7QpH0jY or find all the catch-up podcasts here https://buff.ly/PlhvUVe Subscribe to The Money Show Daily Newsletter and the Weekly Business Wrap here https://buff.ly/v5mfetc The Money Show is brought to you by Absa     Follow us on social media   702 on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TalkRadio702 702 on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talkradio702 702 on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talkradio702/ 702 on X: https://x.com/CapeTalk 702 on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@radio702   CapeTalk on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@capetalk CapeTalk on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ CapeTalk on X: https://x.com/Radio702 CapeTalk on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CapeTalk567 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if choosing the right partner is the most important decision a man makes? Schafer explains how leadership, respect, and healthy dynamics create attraction, loyalty, and lasting partnership. Topics Covered:

Welcome to episode #1016 of Thinking With Mitch Joel (formerly Six Pixels of Separation). At a moment when artificial intelligence is reshaping not just how markets operate but how people think, feel, decide and connect, understanding the human consequences of that shift has become essential. Mark Schaefer is a keynote speaker, educator, strategist, and a voice in modern marketing, with more than three decades of experience spanning global sales, public relations and brand strategy. He is a faculty member at Rutgers University. Mark's latest book, How AI Changes Your Customers - The Marketing Guide To Humanity's Next Chapter, extends his body of work by examining how AI is quietly rewiring consumer psychology, trust, agency, empathy, and belonging (be sure to check out his other books). Rather than focusing on algorithms or tools, Mark explores how customers are becoming more machine-assisted, less patient, more dependent on automation, and increasingly hungry for meaning and connection in a world optimized for efficiency. He argues that curiosity, art, and human connection are strategic advantages rather than soft ideals. Grounded in research, lived experience, and cultural observation, his work challenges marketers and leaders to rethink relevance, rethink loyalty, and rethink what it means to serve customers whose decisions are increasingly shaped by machines. At its core, Mark's perspective reframes AI not as a threat to humanity, but as a force that exposes what only humans can still do well…if they choose to lean into it. Enjoy the conversation… Running time: 1:06:07. Hello from beautiful Montreal. Listen and subscribe over at Apple Podcasts. Listen and subscribe over at Spotify. Please visit and leave comments on the blog - Thinking With Mitch Joel. Feel free to connect to me directly on LinkedIn. Check out ThinkersOne. Here is my conversation with Mark Schaefer. Book Mark for your next meeting on ThinkersOne. How AI Changes Your Customers - The Marketing Guide To Humanity's Next Chapter. Check out his other books. Read Mark's Blog. Follow Mark on LinkedIn. Chapters: (00:00) - Introduction to Mark Schaefer and AI's Impact. (03:00) - The Dual Nature of AI: Exciting and Terrifying. (06:09) - Cultural Shifts and AI's Influence on Humanity. (08:53) - Curiosity and Learning in the Age of AI. (12:08) - The Role of AI in Content Creation. (14:57) - Art, Tools, and the Essence of Creativity. (17:54) - The Illusion of Intimacy in AI. (21:05) - Navigating the Attention vs. Intimacy Economy. (23:54) - The Future of AI and Human Connection. (37:13) - Cultural Perspectives on AI and Work. (39:06) - AI Sovereignty and Global Implications. (41:23) - The Human Element in AI and Marketing. (43:42) - The Challenge of Authenticity in AI Content. (45:52) - Navigating Trust in a Digital Age. (49:20) - Generational Differences in Trust and Truth. (53:02) - The Role of Curiosity in the Age of AI. (56:46) - The Future of Trust and AI in Business. (01:01:40) - The Impact of AI on Human Connection. (01:03:59) - Embracing AI for Positive Change.

This conversation is not about ‘surviving' menopause.It's about claiming power, pleasure, and potency on the other side of it.Sally sits down with Carla Wainwright, holistic wellness coach, sexual awakening facilitator, and self-described midlife alchemist, for a deeply grounding, myth-shattering conversation about what really happens when women cross the threshold of midlife.With a background in biology, homeopathy, and over 30 years of embodiment work, Carla bridges science and the sacred in a way that feels both practical and deeply liberating. This isn't woo for the sake of woo, and it's not cold science either. It's the place where metabolism, trauma, hormones, pleasure, and power actually meet.In this episode, we talk about why menopause is not a decline but a rite of passage. Why so many women feel unprepared for it, and why the years after perimenopause can become the most creative, sexually alive, and authentic chapter of a woman's life…if she's supported properly.Carla shares how her own journey — from wildlife biologist working with endangered species to guiding women through sexual healing and midlife transformation — came full circle when she entered perimenopause herself. What emerged was a model she calls sacred metabolism: tending not just to blood sugar and hormones, but to the nervous system, the inner child, and the feminine life force itself.We explore why unstable blood sugar can keep women stuck in fight-or-flight, amplify trauma, worsen menopausal symptoms, and quietly erode desire. Why pleasure isn't indulgent. And why many women lose touch with intimacy, not because something is wrong with them, but because no one ever taught them how to stay connected to their bodies as they change.This episode also dives into sex in midlife — honestly, tenderly, and without shame. We talk about why desire changes, why stress is the ultimate libido killer, and why reconnection always starts with the relationship you have with yourself. No pressure to perform. No swinging from chandeliers. Just curiosity, safety, and choice.You'll also hear:Why menopause can make women less people-pleasing and more clear about what they wantHow sexual energy shifts when menstruation ends — and why some traditions call this phase “the second spring.”The link between trauma resurfacing and perimenopauseWhy women initiate most divorces between 45–55How sacred feminine practices reconnect women to intuition, creativity, and embodied wisdomThe myths about menopause that quietly serve patriarchySimple daily practices that build momentum when you feel stuck in survival modeThis is a conversation about remembering who you are — in your body, in your desire, and in your power — at a stage of life that has been deeply misunderstood

Lost At Christmas: Part 2 A vulnerable confrontation with an old crush. Based on a post by Tx Tall Tales, in 2 parts. Listen to the Podcast at My First time. Christmas What had started out with the potential for so much disappointment, my first Christmas away from home, was actually quite wonderful. The family embraced me and treated me as one of their own. Dinner was scrumptious, a Christmas ham, with the full complement of side dishes. After dinner we chatted, drank a little too much spiked eggnog, and told stories of the last few years. I sat close to Sheri when I could, beside her at the dinner table, and next to her on the couch while we had our eggnog. I tried to engage her in some quiet conversation of our own, but the setting was all wrong for that, and I eventually abandoned those attempts. It was nice enough just to be near her. Tommy's step-father Dave, insisted I call Santiago, even though I knew the price would be outrageous, and I did. I gave my family my Christmas wishes, and told them how much I missed them and was looking forward to seeing them in a couple of days. Everyone in the room took a minute to say hello and share season's greetings. I had to spend a few minutes trying to get my Mom to stop crying at the far end, before we finally were able to hang-up. The small ones had to go to bed relatively early, and so we all got to open one gift the night before, as was their tradition. I gave Tommy his gift, and his mother opened the family gift and everyone acted pleased. In turn, they had bought me a present which I opened. It was two books for the trip, and they had a card for me. Inside was $50. I was completely in shock. "Dear Steve, Your short visit was a wonderful Christmas gift to us all. Thanks so much for choosing to spend this Christmas with us. Here's some mad money for the trip home. We all love you. Dave, June, Robert, Sheri, John and Jean" I was deeply touched by the gesture. I went over and gave Tommy's Mom a big hug, thanking her for the card and books. The kids jumped up with presents of their own, and I got two new drawings for my dorm room, as well as some mystery invention from John, which was supposed to be a spy tool to stop people from breaking into my room. I thanked them profusely, and they were put to bed shortly after. Dave, Tommy and I discussed the logistics of my morning bus ride back to Charleston. It left at 7:30 am, but was only about 15 minutes away, so we figured on getting a 7:00am start. We relaxed around the fire, ruminating on the poor souls who had the job of driving that bus all day Christmas day. There was a guitar in the corner, Greg's. I was surprised he hadn't taken it with him. I went over and grabbed it, and finding it miserably out of tune, I tuned it up. "Play something Christmassy", Tommy's Mom asked, and so I played a couple of tunes. I'm a fair guitarist; I was studying guitar at the Eastman School of Music since it was convenient, and ROTC was picking up the tab, and had improved quite a bit from the days of our first band. I got rave reviews from my small audience, and took requests for a while, before we broke it up. The parents still had some work to do for the kids, and Tommy and I wanted to hit the hay early, in order to catch that 7:30 bus. More hugs and kisses all around, with a firm handshake for Dave, and I retired to my room to finish my packing. I got ready for bed, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, laid out my clothes for the morning, and completed my packing. I had one last thing I wanted to do before hitting the sack, so I went back into the bathroom, and knocked on the opposite door into Sheri's room. I heard a muffled "Come in" or something to that effect, and opened the door to find Sheri sitting up in bed, brushing her long blonde hair. She was dressed in a nearly see-through pale green nightie that took my breath away. "Hi." I felt incredibly awkward, like I was 16 all over again. She looked up at me, giving me a quizzically upraised eyebrow. "I had a gift for you, but I felt kind of silly giving it to you out there. I hope you don't mind that I waited until now." I handed her a small leather pouch. She took it, laying her brush to the side, and opened it, pulling out a small cross. She stretched out the cord, and looked at me in surprise. "But this is your mountain cross! You always wear this!" She said, looking at me with a strange look I couldn't quite fathom. The cross was one I had found mountain climbing several years earlier. I had been in a small accident. I'd fallen into a glacier fed stream on a mountain trip, while collecting firewood in a storm. I'd almost frozen before I'd made it back to the cabin. Literally. I thought I was going to die. I was staggering the last 20 feet to the building, in a daze, when a friend returning from the outhouse ran into me, and dragged me inside to warm up. The next morning I found a small ivory cross on a rotted leather lanyard at almost the very place I had climbed out of the stream, and I had worn it for years since then. Sheri knew the story. I had told her the whole thing one evening when I had been giving her driving lessons. I don't know what had motivated me to give it to her, but I had had this urge, and I've always been a pretty impetuous person. "I just want you to have it." I explained. She patted the bed beside her for me to sit down then she handed me the cross to put around her neck and turned her back to me. I passed my hands over the head, letting the cross dangle in the valley between her breasts, and she reached back and pulled her hair up and out of the way, so I could latch the necklace on her. When I was done she turned to me, and fingering the cross she thanked me. "I got the strangest call today." She told me. "Strange how?" I asked. "Kathryn called me. We haven't talked probably in over a year, but she called me out of the blue, and we talked about nothing but you for over an hour." She said with a teasing smile. I could feel my face burning from the blush. We were real quiet for a bit. Then she spoke up softly, not looking at me at all, just looking down at her hands. "Do you remember the skating party where you asked me to skate, like 5 times?" "Do I ever! My hand was so sweaty I was embarrassed to hold yours, but didn't know how to dry it off, and I wasn't good enough a skater to make a real dance out of it." I laughed. "I thought you liked me, and were going to ask me out, but you never did. Why not?" She asked. The memory was embarrassing, and I thought about it a bit before confessing. "I had skated with Kathryn earlier in the evening, and she asked me who I liked. I told her I would answer by the end of the evening. Later, just when I was trying to get the nerve up to skate with you again, and ask you to sit by me on the Pensacola bus trip, Jack found me and told me that I had better ask Kathryn to skate. She was waiting for me to tell her something. Well, I did ask her to skate, and she reminded me of our previous conversation. I admitted that I really liked two people, you and her. Then she asked me if I minded if she 'monopolized' me for a while. I went along. You know the rest. One out-of-town bus trip; one back-row of the movie; and me completely screwing everything up." She listened without showing too much surprise. "But how come you never tried anything after that?" "God! How could I? You knew everything that had happened. Don't you remember the time I stopped by when Net was over here spending the night. Every time I passed you guys, you seemed to be laughing at me. And then when you passed me in the hall and whispered, "Oooh, I Love You," teasing me with what I'd said to Kathryn before completely blowing her off, I was just devastated. I hadn't screwed up just the one chance, but you as well." Sheri had the grace to blush from embarrassment at that. "I really didn't know much of what was going on. Kathryn just told me to go up to you and say that. I'm sorry." "Not half as sorry as I was." I told her. "You had to know how much I liked you. I was always trying to be around you and do things with you." "I didn't know how much of that was just being Tommy's sister, or what. I kept waiting for you to try something, anything, but you never did." She looked at me intensely almost with anguish. I was 16 all over again. I was still embarrassed over my ineptness around women. I had screwed things up with Kathryn. I had screwed up with Teri. And I had screwed up with Sheri. Since then I'd had more than my share of success with the young women I'd known, but all of a sudden, it was like I was a clumsy, scared virgin all over again. Sheri looked at me for a long while, then finally sighed and looked away, picking up her brush and going back to brushing her hair. "Some things will never change, I guess," she muttered, ignoring me. I started to get up, to go to my room, knowing this was neither the time, nor the place to try to start something with Sheri, but I just couldn't leave things as they were. I reached out and took the brush from her, which she relinquished slowly. I then took her by the shoulders and turned her away from me, so I could brush her hair. I brushed her hair in silence for a bit, before speaking. "For at least a year after leaving here, I would dream about you all the time. You were the girl of my fantasies. We wrote so well for a while, and I kept all your letters, reading them over and over again, looking for hidden meaning in the words, wondering if I'd ever get a chance to be with you. I still have those letters." I confessed. Several long seconds later Sheri reached down to the bottom drawer of her chest, next to the bed and opened it. She reached under her sweaters, and pulled out a pile of letters held together with a rubber-band. I recognized my writing. She turned to look at me, and her eyes glistened. I dropped the brush, leaned over and nervously kissed her, hoping beyond hope she wouldn't throw me out of her room with a ruckus. Instead she turned, and returned my kiss with a depth and passion I could only have prayed for. When we broke apart, we just looked at each other. Suddenly I couldn't help but giggle. "What?" She asked, almost crossly. "Do you remember how you thought you'd get pregnant from French kissing?" I recalled. She blushed again. "I can't believe you still remember that, you beast. How did you find that out anyway?" "Kathryn told me on the bus trip. I think she was trying to make you seem naive to me, sort of solidify her hold on me." I told her. "That Bitch! She always denied it, but I couldn't think of anyone else who knew." We laughed a bit, and gradually fell back into kissing each other. At the next break in our kissing, Sheri nailed me again. "Tommy said you did it with Angela. Was she your first?" "No. I never did do it with her. And Colleen was my first." I admitted. "Colleen? From yearbook?" "Yeah. But not until a year later. She went to Mosley with me, and we hooked up at a party. It was weird and nothing much happened of it. Three weeks later I was headed to Chile." I told her. She just shook her head at me. "Since it's time for true confessions, who was your first?" I asked teasing. "Rich? Mike?" "Oh God, no!" she laughed. "Then who?" She never answered, just turned a bright red. "Come on, fair's fair. I told you." I urged her relentlessly. She mumbled something I couldn't make out. "I can't hear you, who was it?" I teased again. She looked up, almost fiercely. "Nobody, all right?" I was stunned, and the ensuing silence seemed endless. "You're kidding me." I finally said, hardly believing. Her answer was so soft I almost missed it. "At one time I thought you'd be my first." This time when we kissed, I allowed my hands to wander, throwing caution to the wind. I cupped her perfect young breast in my hand, letting my thumb brush across her nipple, getting it hard. We were both gasping when we broke apart. "Steve?" "Yes?" "Go close your door, and turn off your light, then turn off the light in the bathroom," she said softly. I did, and she had turned down the light in her room. She was lying in the bed, the covers folded down neatly, waiting for me. She was still in her nightie. I stood beside the bed and made my commitment. I removed my shirt, and then my shorts, sporting a huge hard-on, which she stared at in wonder. I climbed into her bed completely naked. She had been laying sideways, leaning on her elbow, but as I entered the bed, she rolled onto her back, lying down, waiting for me. She was achingly beautiful in the dim light, and I was afraid I was going to come on the spot if she even touched me. I leaned over her and kissed her, but this time the kiss never stopped. I lost my soul in that kiss. I lost all track of time and presence. Our mouths stayed connected as we explored and played with our tongues, and my hands embarked on their exploration of the wonders of her body. My hands touched her all over, before finally settling in the warm crease between her legs. She had panties on, and as my fingers rubbed up and down her hidden folds, I found a small wet spot, maybe the size of a dime slowly spreading. Once I was aggressively rubbing her, sliding the material up and down, half-an inch into her by this time, the wetness enveloped the entire area. I slid my hand less than a foot up her body, and let my finger tips creep under the band of her panties. My hand slid down, the soft down of her hair like a magical lure, the gentle pressure of her panties against the back of my hand trapping me. Our kiss finally broke, and from an inch away we looked into each other's eyes as I slowly slid my middle finger between those forbidden lips, and into her. The aroma of her need assaulted me, and the quiet squish of her wetness against my finger was the ultimate aphrodisiac. I was engulfed with desire. I started to crawl over her, placing my knee between hers when she stopped me. "Wait." Then she raised her hips, and scrunched down, raised her knees, moments later passing me a small, but incredibly erotic piece of plain, white material. I was beyond reason, and I climbed between her legs. She spread them for me, seeming as eager as I. I grabbed my throbbing rod in hand, and by feel, rubbed the head up and down her moistness, adding pressure bit by bit, until I felt it settle in at the mouth of her pussy. She gave a small gasp, as the head slid in just a bit, not quite in her yet, but knowing that I was one small push from being inside. "Be gentle," she said, and I could see a hint of nervousness and fear in her eyes. I leaned over and kissed her softly, and while our lips touched, I pushed, sinking into her. At least for a bit. About halfway in I hit a barrier. I was confused at first. I pulled back and pushed again, a little harder, thinking I was sticking, and she grunted a little as if in pain. It finally sunk in. I had been with plenty of women, and several who had claimed to be virgins, but none with their cherry intact. I wasn't sure what to do. I probed again, and this time elicited a small 'ow'. What was I to do? I lay on top of her, my cock buried four inches deep in the girls of my dreams, and I was at a complete loss. Sheri shifted a bit under me, wrapped her legs around mine, and pulled me close. She whispered into my ear. "Take me." It was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard. Nervously I pulled back until I was just at the opening and I drove down hard, feeling just a pinch before my pelvis was grinding into hers. I was completely inside her. I got up on my elbows and looked down at her. I could see a single wet trail that glistened from the side of her eye to her ear. "Are you ok?" I asked her, holding myself still, deep inside of her. "Wonderful," she said softly, tilting her chin up slightly for a kiss. I accepted the offer, and kissed her gently, while I experimented with moving my cock within her incredibly tight sheath. I felt I was only moments from coming, but I couldn't resist moving my hips just a bit, exploring the feeling of being inside her. I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I always wanted you. You knew it. I knew it. But I was afraid. I was afraid of the ribbing from your brother. Afraid of being exposed for knowing nothing about what to do with a girl. Afraid of ruining our friendship. Afraid of striking out, and you telling all the other girls, and my being the laughingstock. Afraid of so many stupid things. I was an idiot." "You weren't afraid of Kathryn," she answered softly. "She initiated it all. She pushed forward, asking to monopolize me, holding my hand. I probably never would have made the move. If I could change one thing, it would be that skating party. I should have saved that last moonlight skate for you, and asked you out. I should have told Kathryn that you were the one girl I was interested in. Who knows how things might have worked out? Plus, it wasn't as big a deal. If things didn't work out, oh well. But if I ruined things with you, it would have killed all my dreams." She was hot beneath me, her skin almost burning to my touch, I was finally moving inside of her, but I quickly had to stop, again on the verge of coming, and embarrassed at my short trigger. "Make love to me Steve," she said breathlessly. I gave a few more strokes and had to stop again. "Don't stop," she pleaded. "I'm sorry, I'm so excited I'm on the verge of coming now. If I move I won't be able to stop," I finally confessed. "Do it. Pump me, take me, come deep inside me," she answered. Those words were too much, and with a gasp I drove my cock in hard, and exploded inside her. I pulled back and slammed into her a dozen times or so, making the bed creak alarmingly as I emptied myself inside her virgin moistness. As my heart hammer away in my chest, and my breathing gasped, she gave me a small joyous laugh. "Wow, I guess you were close!" Then she gave a big hug before she pushed me off of her. She climbed over me, her hand pressed between her legs and scrambled into the bathroom, waddling inelegantly but still incredibly arousing to me. I heard her tinkle, and then return to the bed with a facecloth with which she wiped my semi-hard cock clean. Then she climbed into bed, her head on my shoulder and talked. She recounted almost ever time that we'd been together alone, all the adventures we'd had, the summer we'd learned to play tennis together, and what she'd thought might happen. We laughed a little at my ineptness and her caution as well. Then I felt her hand creep down between my legs. "Do you think we could try that again?" she asked me hesitantly. "I'm dying to, but I was afraid I might have hurt you." I laughed my foolish insecure laugh. "So hurt me," she teased, giving a tug on my cock. This time I held out a little better. I climbed between her legs again, and made love to her, still gently, still nervous. But before long I was feeling that familiar rhythm of need, and my strokes became longer and more insistent. I had to have her. I had to take her. I had to fill her deeply, completely. I sat up in the bed, discarding the covers, and raised her legs, pushing them back, and screwing her powerfully, shaking her body, crashing into her with a burning need. She was still wearing her nightie, but it had ridden up above her belly button, just a couple of inches below her breasts. I stopped my motion and whispered to her, "Rise up on your elbows." She looked at me oddly but did, raising her head a few inches off the pillow. I leaned over and lifted her nightie up above her breast, allowing me to see the objects of my desire and fantasies. "God, I've pictured those in my mind for four years, and yet never came close to imagining how perfect and beautiful they are." I said, more to myself than to her. I resumed my fucking, for that was what I was doing now, fucking her. Fucking her hard. She had her bottom lip captured between her teeth, and now she was holding her nightie in her hands, almost to her chin, allowing me an uninterrupted view of her oh-so-perfect tits. The visuals were all too much and pushed me over the edge once again. The beautiful face, the long hair arrayed across the pillow, the full breasts, bouncing a counter-beat to my pounding, her flat stomach, hollowed, and the light fur of her hair parted to allow my pole to penetrate her again and again. With a moan I came for her again, collapsing beside her, sated, and in complete serenity and joy. "I guess you really do like me," she laughed, cuddling up to my side. Then she was asking me about my afternoon meeting with Kathryn. "What did she tell you?" I asked, a little nervous. "No, you tell me what happened. I don't trust her," she insisted. I told her the whole story, including the ending. In full short-but-sweet detail. "I knew it!" She laughed. "She said you tried to come on to her, and made her grab you there, but she turned you down." "If that's how she wants to tell it that's fine by me. I owe her one; let her have it however she wants." I said "When you went to the movies, what really happened there?" she asked, with her one-track mind. I wasn't sure what her preoccupation was but I finally told her the whole scene, everything I'd done, every liberty I'd taken. At the end I waited in judgment. "She's such a liar. She said you tried to reach inside her pants but she stopped you." "Hardly, I could smell her on my fingers for day afterwards." I laughed. Sheri was lost in thought pressed up against me. My hands were idling rubbing her back, the material of her nightie soft and silky against my fingertips. "I guess there's only one thing she's done with you that we haven't done," Sheri started, and then she slid under the covers and a moment later I felt the warm wetness of her mouth enveloping me. I could see the covers moving as she used her mouth to pleasure me, taking only a few moments to make me hard, and then sucking me like there was no tomorrow. Which, in a way I guess there wasn't. I wanted to see her, so I pulled the covers back and looked down at her. She continued a few more strokes, then shifted and faced me a little more, finally lifting her eyes to watch me, watching her, suck my cock. A few more deep strokes and she pulled off with a smile. "I can see that's one thing you like," she said with a grin. "Like is an understatement." I laughed. She gave me a couple more sucks, and then she straddled me, and rose up to take me inside of her again. I wanted her so bad I could almost scream. She got me positioned right, and then slowly lowered herself the full length of my staff with one long, smooth stroke. Then, settled on my hips, my turgid meat buried in her achingly tight recess, she lifted the bottom of her nightie and pulled it up and over her head. I'd been to several strip shows before that, but never in my life had I seen anything so beautiful or so erotic. I could feel my pulse in my cock, throbbing inside her. She opened her eyes wide, and looked down between her legs. "Wow, I could feel that. At least one part of you really likes to see the girls," she laughed, holding her breasts cupped in her hands, and jiggling them for me. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I told her. "Right, and now I guess you're going to tell me you love me, just like Kathryn." She said it with a hint of bitterness I didn't understand. "The difference is back then it was the hormones of a 16 year old talking. You on the other hand, I've loved for three years. And you know it." I said, and only as I spoke the words did I realize to my very soul, just how true it was. Sheri didn't answer. She leaned forward and rocked back and forth on my hard cock, enjoying the feeling of controlling the penetration, the pace, the timing. She paced herself to my breathing and excitement. When I started to get really excited she'd slow down and hold me, letting me ease back from the edge. When I was strong and ready, she'd ride me hard. She let my hands explore her as she did the work, and I touched her everywhere I could reach, just wallowing in the sensations. I pulled her down within reach, and tasted her nipples, playing with those perfect globes. The feel of her breasts, that impossible soft pale skin under my lips, making way to the crinkled, tougher skin, peaking to a little nub seemingly designed for me to tease and taste. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of sensual, erotic play, she laid down on me, her breasts pressed against my chest, her mouth on my neck, while she slowly rocked her hips, fucking herself gently on my rod. "Come for me Steve," she said, almost as a command. I reached down and took her full, soft ass cheeks in my hands, grasping them tight, and I held her up a bit off of me, so I could us my hips to drive in and out of her channel more completely. I was able to get a good long stroke established, and I could feel the cool air brushing against my wet shaft each time I pulled outward. We had made love for what seemed ages before she issued that first command for me to come. Now she issued another one. "Tell me again." I couldn't hold back any longer, and didn't want to. I was fucking the prettiest girl I'd ever known; The first girl that I had really badly wanted; The sweet little virgin that I had fantasized about for so long; Whose pretty face had been the image I'd been picturing as I filled enough old gym socks with cum to fill a stadium. "I love you, Sheri. I've loved you as long as I've known you." And with that I pulled her down hard on my cock, coming inside my dream girl again, and absorbing the feeling, knowing I was leaving within hours, not knowing when I'd see her again. "I love you, Steve," she said, I could feel her tears rolling down the side of my face. I looked up to see the sky lightening with the coming dawn, and thought to myself, "That's another one you've got up on Kathryn." I disentangled myself from her limbs and kissed her. "I have to go. Tommy's going to be looking for me any minute." Somehow we had spent the entire night reminiscing, sharing and making love. It was so difficult, but I tore myself from her arms, tucked her in bed, and kissed her goodnight. "Get a couple of hours of sleep; I'll be able to sleep on the bus." I told her. She was still wearing the cross I'd given her. She held it now. "Thanks for the Christmas present." She said with a small sad smile. I kissed her again, and retreated to the bathroom for a quick shower and shave. Back in my room, I dressed, and found a present waiting for me on my suitcase. A 8 by 10 picture of Sheri, as beautiful as I'd ever seen her, with a small inscription on the back. "Merry Christmas. Don't forget about me. Love, Sheri" I had just finished putting it away when Tommy knocked on my door, dragging me out to breakfast, and then off to the bus. The rest of that trip was uneventful; I made it home OK, picked up some presents in Panama, saw some old friends, and made it back to college in one piece. But I'll always recall that first Christmas away from home, and the greatest Christmas present I ever received. Not my first erector set, or the 114 piece Lincoln Log tube. Not my first really Cool bicycle, a purple spider bike with banana seat, big handle bars and a three speed shifter on the bar. Not my first electric guitar, a Fender, and amp, which I think my parents had some second thoughts about. No, Sheri's was the nicest gift I ever received, and probably ever will receive, for Christmas. "Thanks" just doesn't seem to say enough. Based on a post by Tx Tall Tales, in 2 parts, for Literotica

New Year, New Diamond Intimacy — Imagination ...Designing the Intimacy You Want In this second episode of the New Year, New Diamond Intimacy series, Dr. Sonia invites you to move beyond reflection and into vision. Rather than recreating intimacy from the past, this episode focuses on intentionally designing intimacy that fits the woman you are now. Dr. Sonia encourages you to release outdated definitions of sex and desire and instead explore what intimacy could feel like when it truly supports you—emotionally, physically, and energetically. You'll reflect on how you want intimacy to feel in the year ahead, identify what no longer serves you, and begin imagining intimacy as something you choose, not manage. This episode is about possibility, permission, and creating a future that feels aligned rather than pressured. ✨ This episode also shares information about The New Year, New Diamond Intimacy Experience, a high-touch coaching opportunity for women ready to turn vision into intentional, supported change.

Lost At Christmas: Part 1 His First Christmas away from home, & His best gift ever. Based on a post by Tx Tall Tales, in 2 parts. Listen to the Podcast at My First time. After my first semester in College, I was eager to go home for the holidays. I was going to school in Rochester, New York, and anybody who'd experienced the lake-effect winters on the Great Lakes would understand my desire to get to somewhere warmer. For me, that somewhere warmer was a long ways away. As a military brat, home was often a moving target, and that winter it was Santiago, Chile, where my father was stationed and where I'd graduated high-school. It was summer in Santiago, and I was looking forward to a pool-party with my old school mates for the Holidays. We didn't have a lot of money, but I was allowed to travel space available on a military flight as a Navy ROTC student. I had to get down to Charleston, South Carolina, and catch an international C1 41 flight that made a loop through Latin America. After finagling a ride to Virginia followed by a very long bus trip down the coast, I finally made it to Charleston AFB. ROTC travel orders in hand, I checked in at the desk, and verified I was on the standby list for the flight leaving on the 23rd. I wouldn't get home until Christmas Day, but better late than never. With pockets nearly empty, a hotel room was out of the question so I slept in the terminal and snacked on the cheapest eats I could get away with. There was a festive mood in the terminal, so many people rushing to get home for the holidays, and I was getting caught up in the feeling, eagerly looking forward to that very long plane ride, first to Panama, then Lima, and finally Santiago. After what seemed an interminable wait, we were an hour away from boarding when I got bumped off the flight by a group of Marines headed to Panama on Active Duty travel orders. I was devastated. The next flight left early the morning of the 26th. At least that one was a huge plane, and nearly empty so I was virtually guaranteed to get aboard, but what was I going to do for Christmas? Looking up at the outgoing flight schedules, I saw a flight listed for Tyndall AFB, Panama City, Florida. "When is the flight to Tyndall headed out?" I asked the airman behind the desk. "In an hour-and-a-half, and it's all but empty. You want on?" He asked, offering some recompense for my last minute bump. I'd lived in Panama City during 9th and 10th grade, and still had some close friends there, many I still kept in touch with. Maybe I could find someone to spend Christmas with there. It had to be better than sleeping in the terminal for 2 more days. "Please," I told him, "but hold my space for Santiago. I'll be back for that flight." I recalled there being a pretty big Greyhound station in Panama City, so I called Greyhound and checked on a bus being able to get me back in time for the flight. They had one, a 7:30 am bus on Christmas morning would get me back before midnight on Christmas. I could easily make the flight the next morning, even if it were delay a few hours. I bought a ticket, using the emergency Am Ex card my parents had given me when I headed off to college. I'd explain the $67.00 to my parents. I called my family in Santiago with the news. It had to be short call because of the expense, so I let them know I had been bumped but would be there on the 28th. I told them I was headed to Panama City, and would be taking a bus back in plenty of time for my flight. My mother cried, and my father told me to go ahead and use the credit card, but to try to keep the expenses reasonable. By the time I hung up I was pretty depressed, but at least I had a plan. Before I could try to contact anyone in Panama City, an announcement was made and suddenly I was on my way to Florida for Christmas, with no place lined up to stay, and practically broke. I was feeling a bit melancholy, but was determined to make the best of it. So there I was, at Tyndall Air Force Base, at 11:20 pm on December 23rd. I was debating who to try first. I had several close friends nearby and I expected they'd all be home for Christmas. After a short internal debate, I had narrowed it down to two. I had always gotten along well with their entire families, and I was still in pretty regular contact with both of them. Mike lived the nearest to me in the old days. He came from a big family, with 6 siblings, including Peggy, who'd been one of my first real deep infatuations. When I had been in 9th grade she'd been a senior, and was pretty and sophisticated. My yearning for her was unrequited, but I relished the idea of seeing her again after four years. She was a college senior, and would probably be home. I knew they'd welcome me, but I was concerned it would be an inconvenience. They did not have a large house, and it was bound to be crowded, particularly with three college kids home for the holiday. On top of that who knew if they had anyone else in tow? Tommy on the other hand came from a relatively well-off family who always lived well within their means. He had an older brother, who was working in Japan and unlikely to be home, a sister, Sheri, just a year behind us in school, and two much younger siblings, who I guessed would be around 9 and 10 by now. They had a spacious house, each kid had their own room, and I wouldn't be putting anybody out if I stayed there. I'd always had a crush on Sheri, but although I'd dated her best friend, I'd never gone out with her. Getting a chance to see her again would be an extra bonus. Feeling nervous and awkward, I dialed Tommy's number from memory, and luckily got him on the first call. If I'd gotten somebody else, I would have really felt uncomfortable. Tommy's answer was unmistakable. He had a funny way of saying hello when he answered the phone, and the sound of his voice took me straight back down memory lane. "Hee-ello," he answered. "Tommy! Guess who?" I asked. I guess my voice must have been similarly recognizable, since he didn't hesitate a second. "Steve-o! What are you up to? Where're you at?" He answered eagerly. It put a smile on my face. Nice to hear a happy, upbeat voice that seemed genuinely pleased to hear from me. "Funny you should ask. It's a long story, but I'm in a bit of a bind. I'm at Tyndall, and stuck here until Christmas Day." I told him. "What happened to Chile, and Rochester?" He asked. "I was on my way home to Chile, when I lost my seat on the plane in Charleston. I couldn't get out again until the 26th, so when I saw an empty plane headed this way, I just hopped on and hoped for the best." I explained. "That's Great!" He almost shouted. "Not great that you couldn't get home, but great that you're here. You want to stay with us? You can have Greg's room, he won't be here, and I'm sure Sheri and Mom would love to see you. The place is kind of 'down' with Greg canceling his trip home at the last minute. Having you here should cheer things up a bit." He did sound enthused, and I couldn't help grinning in reply. "Don't you think you should check?" I laughed. A scream in my ear was the answer, as I heard half of a shouted conversation. "Mom! Guess Who's In Town." "No, Not Greg." "No, Go Ahead Guess." "Guess Again." "Ok, Ok - Steve." "Yeah, Steve Pelland. He's Stuck Here In Town 'Til Christmas Day." "Of Course I Told Him He Should Come Here, I'll Go Get Him." "I Will." "Yes Mom; Yes; I Won't; I Will." I was holding the phone a little away from my head, and almost missed it when he came back on. "Where should I pick you up?" He asked. "The Main Terminal, you know where that is right?" I answered. "Sure - be there in about 30 minutes. Man, this is Great!" I hung up with a big smile on my face, feeling 100% better than I had just 10 minutes earlier. I stood outside waiting for him, and about 20 minutes later the strings of Christmas lights shut off one at a time, as the place closed up for the night. It was dark and quiet, and I started to get nervous again, wondering if this had been such a good idea. I was 500 miles from my flight home and completely at the mercy of old friends. But as far as friends go, I couldn't do much better than mine, and figured at the least I wouldn't be sleeping in a lonely terminal in Charleston for two days, slowly eating my way through my meager funds. When Bob pulled up around midnight, I could see he'd gotten rid of the VW Bug he'd inherited from his mother upon turning 16, and was now driving his brother's old Two-tone Cougar. We spent a minute saying hi, and loading my gear into the trunk, and then we headed back into town, catching each other up on history. When I had first moved to Santiago, I used to write about once every couple of months, as well as call a couple of times a year. In the beginning I'd written Sheri a lot as well. She was one of the most prolific writers among my old friends, and would typically write twice to me for every one I wrote to her. Over the years, that had degenerated into holiday cards and a surprise call maybe once a year. I knew he was attending Florida State, and that Greg had graduated from Georgetown, and had moved to Japan on business. That was about it. Tommy told me all about the old gang, who was in town, who was going to what schools, what people had been up to. I told him a lot more detail about what I'd been up to. "So," he asked, "Got a girl?" "Not now. Thought I had one after the ROTC Christmas ball, but that seems to have been my mistake." I admitted. "Hard to believe. You always had someone. Every letter, every phone-call, just seems like they didn't stay the same all that long." He teased. "I don't know. I had several relationships last pretty long. Two were more than 6 months long." I argued. "Oh! Six Months!" He laughed. "How about you then," I asked in defense. "Still Erin. Almost two years now." He asked. "Shit. What does she see in you? She could do so much better." I teased. "Oh really? Like how?" "Like me!" I laughed. "Right, like that would ever happen! Don't even think about it, or you'll be sleeping in the street." He was laughing as well. "Not if I called Erin I wouldn't," I shot back. I thought it was a great comeback, but it earned me a sock in the arm. We pulled up to his house, which still looked exactly the same, and things were pretty quiet. They used the same window lights, same roof lights, same bush trimmings year after year. It was just as I remembered. Who says you can't go back? "Mom's got to work tomorrow, so I'm sure she's in bed, and you know Dave crashes early, so we better keep it down. We've got lots to do tomorrow anyway." We entered quietly and put my bag in Greg's old room. Tommy stayed and chatted for a few minutes then bid me good night, telling me to sleep in as long as I wanted, as long as it wasn't past 9:00 am, and left me to get settled. Past 9:00? Now I remembered, they'd always been an early-bird household. For me 9:00 am Was the crack of dawn. Tommy and I had breakfast at about 9:30. He was already chiding me for sleeping in and missing the whole family. We had the house to ourselves. He'd been on the phone arranging our day, and once we'd finished the pancakes, we were off to see Mike and his family. Entering Mike's house was the same as it had ever been, but more-so. People everywhere, noise, laughter, roughhousing, it was all taken in stride by Mrs. Frey. We spent a few hours visiting, and getting fed again before we could leave. Mike's older sister Peggy still looked cute to me, but not the amazing creature my memory had somehow stored away. I had to tease her about the Christmas gift she'd given me three years earlier. She'd bought me a Richard Pryor tape, thinking it was Bill Cosby. When I played it for her in my car, she exploded, calling me names and accusing me of vile intent. At the time I had felt bad, confused, angry and a host of other feelings, now thankfully we could laugh at it. When I'd been 16 I'd been somewhat in awe of her, now things were comfortable. Mike's older brother was home as well, with his live-in girlfriend who seemed awfully ill-at-ease, and must have been at least 5 years older than Dan, maybe more. That was a story I'd have to hear more about. The biggest surprise was Alice. She'd been a few years younger than us. I wasn't sure if she was 16 or 17 now, but she was a bombshell. And she was coming on to me like gangbusters. I was really nervous, with her acting all touchy-feely with her mother and Peggy there. I was suddenly glad I had chosen to stay over with Tommy. With a pretty, stacked girl that seemed so infatuated with me around, I'm afraid I might have gotten into a whole lot more trouble than I needed. When we left there Mike joined us, and it was off to see Jack and Russ. They were a year apart in age. Russ had been in our class, and we'd been friendly with him, but Jack, although a year younger was our buddy. We played on the basketball team together, and when Tommy and I formed our first band, Jack was our bassist. At the Chambers house, we once again reminisced, and had to relive our first 'gig'. We had decided to play in the school talent show. With Tommy on piano and Jack on bass, I played guitar. We had a fourth guy on drums we'd all lost contact with. We had played Elton John, Deep Purple, The Eagles, and The Beatles. We had opened with the opening riff of "Smoke on the Water", and had been a hit. We were pretty lousy, but the audience was our friends, our parents and the parents of our friends, and at the end the parents even took up a collection for us. Pretty heady stuff. We'd called ourselves Bronze Myth, and had already designed our first three album covers before we had our first birthday party gig. Jack had been tall then, and had not stopped growing; he was now 6'7" and was attending University of Florida, playing basketball. He reminded me of the time when we went on our first dates together. I had gone with Kathryn Best, easily the most lusted after girl in the whole school, who was in Jack's class a year behind me. Jack, on the other hand, had gone out with our "Valentine's Day Queen", Anne, who was in my class and almost two full years older than Jack. He was always precocious. There had been a third couple with us, Dennis and Suzanne, and Jack broke the news that Suzanne had gotten knocked up, just before I left to go overseas, and she and Dennis had gotten married. There was a huge scandal, but they stuck together, and had the baby. They lived with Suzanne's parents. Dennis was doing alright, working for Suzanne's father. While we were visiting, several friends dropped in, including the aforementioned Kathryn who lived one street over. Kathryn, the stunning brunette who had the body of a 20 year old when she was 15, and had a beautiful face with features that just slayed me. Kathryn, the very first girl I had gotten to Third Base with. She was as pretty as I remembered, and I found out she was going to be attending Mt. Holyoke the following year, which was an odd coincidence since my girlfriend from High School was a sophomore there. Going out with Kathryn, a year younger than me had been a total fiasco. We'd sat together on an out-of-town bus trip and ranked high enough in the pecking order that we got the right hand seat second from the back. These trips were our biggest dates back then. Ours was a small parochial school, and on the bus trips, the athletes, cheerleaders and student fans all rode the same bug. The 30-90 minute trips were like pep rallies on the way out, and like the back of movie theatres on the way back. There were frequent "hand-checks" and the lights would come one as our coaches would walk the aisle, but it seemed like after our wins, the checks would be a little less frequent. Our win at Pensacola was my first real 'make-out' session, as we cuddled and kissed the whole trip home. I even got a chance to play with her breast through her sweater. Less than a week later I asked her to the movies, and we sat in the back with the two other couples, probably both scared spitless and nervous as goldfish in a blender. We'd started necking, which got more and more intense, and my hands boldly went where no hands had gone before. An hour into the movie I was almost out of control, and feverish with desire, and it seemed she was willing to let me do whatever I wanted. If I'd had a little more confidence, or a little more knowledge, who knows what might have happened? As it is, I went pretty far, probably too far, and I was scared to death afterwards. She was the first girl whose flesh I'd touched underneath her clothing. I didn't call her for several days, and even avoided her at school, not knowing what to say. In short I was a total jerk. Everyone thought we should be together, she was the pretty captain of the cheerleaders, with the big boobs, and I was the Big Jock, playing all the sports, while at the same time excelling in school. She was voted "Most Popular." I was "Most Likely to Succeed." However, in this case it turned out she was "Most Slighted", and I was definitely "Most Inept." After waiting several days, amazingly patient in retrospect, she had tasked her best friend Sheri, Tommy's sister, with letting me know that she thought we shouldn't go out. Next thing you know, she was going out with some geeky looking kid, and she dated him for the rest of the school year. I'd changed schools at the end of that year, and had seen her only infrequently the following year, before moving to Santiago. Outside in the backyard, Kathryn and I walked off together and finally had a few minutes alone. "You know Kat, I don't think I ever apologized for being such an idiot, after our first date. I really am sorry." She was quiet for a while. She had a sad little look. "You know, I waited by that phone night after night, crying myself to sleep. I saw you dodging me at school and it broke my heart." "I was young and stupid. I'd never done Anything with a girl before, and could hardly even believe I was with the hottest girl in school. After all the stuff I did, God, I was so embarrassed that I'd overstepped the boundaries, and I had no idea what to say." She sat down underneath the big tree in the backyard and I sat beside her on the circular bench around it. "You could have said something to Jack maybe, or Tommy, and let them tell me. At least let me know that you liked me, or had fun. Something." She looked on the verge of tears, even 3 years later, and I felt even worse. "I know. I kept kicking myself over it. I was so angry with myself and jealous when you went out with Ricky." I admitted. "He was nice to me when I needed it." "But it seemed such an odd fit. He was a nobody; the only thing he ever did noteworthy was date you." I told her. "He lived two houses down. We'd grown up together, and when my heart was broken he picked up the pieces. He could tell something was wrong, and really made me feel a lot better." She confessed. That brought on a short period of silence. It did let me think better of Ricky, who wasn't just lucky or an opportunist. "You know, that was one of the most memorable moments in my life. Touching a girl like that for the first time. I had no idea what I should do, or what I could do, but I kept looking down the row at Dennis and Suzanne, and figured I should be able to do that too. I was in heaven; you were so amazing to be with." I told her, reaching out and taking her hand in mine. Her palm was moist. "You're telling me? You were the big 9th grader with the learner's permit and motorcycle. Big Man on Campus. The guy every girl wanted. And you wanted me. I had no idea what we should or shouldn't do on a date. I was hoping you knew." We laughed at that, remembering the intensity of those feelings. "Given a chance to do it over, I'd have camped out on your doorstep and professed my undying, eternal love the moment you walked out the door." I told her, half serious. "As I recall, you professed your love for me that evening, just before opening the top of my pants." She said with a wicked grin. I'm sure I blushed mightily. "I can't really ask forgiveness, but I really am sorry. Sorry now and sorry then. I fantasized about you for years afterwards, thinking of what could have happened if I hadn't been such a jerk. You have no idea how many of my fantasies you starred in back then." "If only you'd have let me know. Ricky was my first. It could have been you. Given half a chance, it would have been you." She had moved close and was speaking softly. "And this is my punishment. Knowing how bad I fucked up. Seeing you here, as beautiful as in my dreams, and knowing I've screwed up any chance of being with you." I placed my hand behind her head, stroking her hair. "I wouldn't say you'd screwed up Any chance, but you certainly blew that one." We were looking deeply in each other's eyes, recalling strong, painful feelings. I wanted her now, as I'd wanted her then, with a deep burning need, and I leaned forward those last two inches, and captured her lips with mine. She slid forward and melted against me, kissing me with every emotion boiling to the surface. She took my hand and placed it on her incredible chest, and I squeezed her breast, my thumb reliving that first caress of her nipple from so many years earlier. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, and then broke apart. Her eyes glistened. "I've got a boyfriend." She confessed. I nodded understanding. "If I didn't?" I reached forward pressing my index finger to her lips. "I know. I missed my chance. It's my loss." We just sat side by side a minute, in silence. "You know," she said softly, "what you did to me that night, that was part of the problem." "I know. I'm sorry if I stepped over the line." I said, even now embarrassed at the liberties I'd taken. "No, not anything wrong. What you did to me, how you made me feel. You made me cream my jeans more than once that night. It was the first time I'd ever come. I'd heard about it, but it was almost unreal. Your fingers just drove me wild. It was over a year before another guy was able to do the same." She put her hand between her legs, seemingly remembering that first night. "That makes two of us. I don't know if you knew, but I came in my pants too, and you never even touched me there. By the time I got home I was a terrible sticky mess. I snuck out and threw that underwear away before my mother could find them and ask uncomfortable questions." I told her, laughing. She gave me an odd little look, and then slid around the tree, placing its 3 foot wide trunk between us and the house. She reached out for me, and of course I followed. "Could I, I mean would you mind?" She seemed lost for words. "What? Just ask. I certainly owe you one." I told her. She didn't ask, she just started unbuckling my belt. "I always wondered, and never really had a chance to find out." With the belt open she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. "I mean, that night, you got to find out pretty much ALL about me, but I didn't; " I lifted my hips and let her pull my pants down a short ways, and then she reached up and pulled my underwear down exposing my fully erect monument to her sexiness. "I knew it, you bastard. Look at that." I didn't have to look. I knew it pretty well. And it was certainly standing tall and making me proud. She took me in hand and stroked me up and down, which after all the discussion and reminiscing was almost enough to get me off. "I just knew it. This should have been my first." She slowly stroked me up and down, and then she leaned over and took me in her mouth for just a second, sucking me deep and then releasing me. That was it. It was too much for me, and I stood up and shot my wad a good two feet out from where we were sitting. She giggled, as she helped me through my release, then pulled my underwear up back over my still dripping cock, and wiped her hand on the front of my briefs, before helping me pull my jeans back up. "If I wasn't tied up, I'd have you paying reparations," she told me as we both stood, and she slapped my hands away from my belt and finished straightening me out herself. "Let's consider it a delayed payoff. If things don't work out for you, maybe we can try it again. Rochester isn't That far from Amherst." Little did I know what the future held in store for us, but that's a different story. We walked back to the house hand-in-hand, laughing at the folly of youth, from the wizened experience of our 18 and 19 years. She had to leave shortly after, as did we, and I kissed her goodbye at the door. Once the door was closed I heard an exclamation from behind me. I turned to Tommy who said, "Now I've seen everything." "Amen," said Jack. "What?" I asked. "After how you treated her after our first date, I was certain you were on her shit-list for life." Jack explained. "Absolutely." Tommy chimed in. "Sheri said that Kathryn fantasized about doing mean and nasty things to you for years. I mean, hell, you did use her pretty bad." "I was a dope. I did some things I'd never done before, and was so embarrassed I didn't know how to even face her. So I screwed up and avoided her. I just made my apologies and we worked things out. I think she understands that I didn't try to be mean; I was just young and stupid. I didn't know what I was doing, and regretted it for years." I told them. "Geez. I always wondered how you could pass on that, when she was so available to you. You really did fuck up, didn't you?" Tommy pointed out. "Yep, not the first time, and I'm certain not the last. But we've buried the hatchet it seems." I answered "I'm just astounded that hatchet isn't in your back." Jack added. We left just a short while after that. We had one last visit to make. Teri Branson was passing through town, and wanted to see us if she could. She was just there for the day, and none of us wanted to miss out on that chance. The summer before 10th grade, I'd practically lived at Teri's. It was football time, and we were doing twice-a-days. We'd have morning practice, then a break so we wouldn't be out all day in the noon-time Florida summer sun. After the break it was afternoon practice. Teri was at our school and I never really knew her until that summer. She lived only a block from Mike, and we had run into her one day out washing the family car. We struck up a conversation, and the rest was history. I spent every football break at her house that summer. Mike didn't play football, but I'd pick him up on the way over there, and we'd hang out. She had a pool table, and a private rec-room with a stand-up arcade game. Her mother would always bring us snacks and drinks. Teri had not been popular, and was new to the school as well. But in a period of just a few months she went from a boyish figured tom-boy, to a devastatingly beautiful teen. Her breasts seemed to almost explode outwards, and once we'd met her mom, we knew where she got it from. She lost some weight, traded glasses for contacts, grew tits, lost the braces, and suddenly this beauty was in our midst, and nobody even knew about her but us. She was our secret. Tommy was going to a different high-school from me and Mike, but we still hung together most of the summer, and we had to let him in on our secret. The closest we'd come to having anything happen was a bizarre game of spin-the-bottle underneath the pool table. Mike, Tommy, me and Teri. Just an excuse for us to take turns kissing her. Her father was being transferred again at the end of the summer. I told her I was going to have a birthday party, and that we were going to play spin-the-bottle, I had hoped she'd be there, but now she was leaving. We were all upset. Tommy suggested we play now, since she couldn't make it then, and we did. It was strange but wonderful. Two weeks later she was gone. We met Teri at the mall, our planned rendezvous. We couldn't miss her; she was the center of a lot of attention. And still gorgeous. We ran up to her and had hugs all around. "I can only stay about 20 minutes," she told us with a pout. "Damn," was all I could say. So the three of us toured the mall, observing all the changes. It had been brand new the year we had been together. We grabbed some drinks, and wandered back outside, our time almost up, and barely even caught up. "Teri, I have a confession." I told her. "I know we acted pretty much like friends, but I was crazy about you. That summer I went home every evening and dreamed of you." "Hell, we all did." Tommy admitted. "We were such idiots," she said. She reached up to my collar and pulled me down for a kiss. Teri stood maybe 5 foot 1, so I had at least a foot on her in height. Bent over I let her kiss me, and I returned it eagerly. Finally she released me. "I was so confused. One day I'd like you, and then the next day you," she said nodding around the group, "and then you. I kept wondering who was going to be my first real boyfriend. I just knew it was going to be one of you. And then it was all over." She looked up at me. "I Still dream about you sometimes." All we could do was laugh it off, and say we'd get together sometime. She was living in Phoenix now, finishing high school, and it looked like she'd be going to Stanford. It was going to be hard to ever make that commute work out, not that she didn't seem like it would be worth the effort. Then her parents drove up. We said hi to her mom (who had been a secret fantasy of mine back then) and then with a last set of hugs it was goodbye to Teri. It was getting late so we dropped Mike back off at his house, driving mostly in quiet. I imagine we were all lost in thought over the quirks of fate and what might have been. For me, it was thoughts of Kathryn and Teri, two incredible opportunities that any teen would kill for, and I'd let them slip through my fingers. We dropped Mike off, but didn't go inside. As it was we were running late, and knew that if we went in, it would be a while before we got out of there. From Mike's it was a 5 minute drive back to Tommy's, but we drove past Teri's old house, just for nostalgia's sake. At Tommy's we were running late. Dinner was going to be at 6:00 pm, and somehow we'd burned the whole day. It was 5:45 before we even walked in the door, and we both wanted to clean up before dinner. The kid's rooms were served by two separate bathrooms, one at the end of the hall, and one off of Greg's room. So I stripped down to my shorts, and went to take my shower. I hadn't expected the bathroom to be full. Sheri was in their, applying the last of her makeup. Fortunately (or unfortunately) she was dressed. When I walked in, she gave a squeal, and came over and gave me a big hug. "I can't believe you're here! You're looking good." She said, stepping back and giving me the once over. "Wow, Sheri, you look great!" was all I could say. She had always been pretty. But the difference between a 15 year old Sheri and this one was night and day. The more mature Sheri was a beautiful young woman. "Thanks," she said, "I'll be out of here in a second, and you can have the place to yourself. I'm dying to talk to you." "I'll be here all night." I joked, stepping back into the room I was using, before my underwear had to undergo any more strain. I sat on the bed waiting, and after just a minute or so she poked her head in and said "It's all yours." She left the door open and walked out the other side of the bathroom. So that was one change at least that I hadn't noticed. Back in the day, this was Greg's bathroom. But since then someone had taken out the linen closet, and the old closet door now opened into Sheri's room. In retrospect it should have been obvious. With Greg away, the bathroom had a lot of stuff in it, although very neat. If I'd opened a cabinet or drawer, I would have seen all the makeup and girl's things. I was using Sheri's bathroom. I rapidly cleaned up and dressed. I was in a bit of a hurry, wanting to still wrap a couple of small presents for my hosts. I had bought several music tapes for my sister as a Christmas present, and decided to gift Tommy with one of them. I also had a photo in a frame for my mom, and decided to make the frame a family gift. It was simple, hand-made by yours truly from apple-wood. After borrowing some paper, tape, and scissors, I was ready to join everyone else just a few minutes later. To be continued in part 2. Based on a post by Tx Tall Tales, in 2 parts, for Literotica

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizWhat if the problem isn't how often you're having sex — but how present you are when you're together?In this episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with Dan Purcell, intimacy educator, founder of Get Your Marriage On, and host of the podcast by the same name. Together, they explore what Dan calls “Eyes Open Intimacy” — a way of approaching sexual and emotional connection that prioritizes presence, safety, and genuine attunement over performance or obligation.This honest, vulnerable conversation dives into why many couples feel disconnected even when they're having sex, how anxiety and shame show up in the bedroom, and why true intimacy begins before anything physical happens.Dan shares powerful insights from his own marriage and years of coaching couples, offering practical tools that help partners slow down, regulate their nervous systems, and reconnect in ways that feel safe and meaningful.Get Your Marriage On... Dan PurcellSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In this episode of The Tudor Dixon Podcast, relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh explores how the post-pandemic world has reshaped dating, intimacy, and romantic relationships for young people. She examines the influence of social media and dating apps on real connection, the evolving expectations of men and women, and why communication skills matter more than ever. Dr. Walsh also discusses family pressures during the holiday season and how younger generations are redefining intimacy, love, and commitment in today’s culture.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What separates good intimacy from exceptional intimacy? In this special year-end compilation, we round up the most powerful "Black Belt" sex and intimacy tips of 2025, the next-level insights that don't come from technique alone, but from presence, awareness, confidence, communication, and desire. Featuring clips from some of the most impactful guests of the year, this episode explores how slowing down, tuning into your body, cultivating emotional safety, embracing confidence, and deepening awareness can transform your sexual connection. Whether you're looking for practical ideas or profound mindset shifts, this episode invites you to go deeper, with yourself and your spouse. Resources and Events Apply for the Get Your Marriage On! Program: getyourmarriageon.com/program In-Person Retreat April 2025 (We're sold out, but you can apply to get on the waitlist!) NEW Get Your Marriage On! Cruise: October 2026  Valentine's Day Weekend Virtual Retreat Men's and Women's Only Cohorts starting in January!    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Just as you eagerly express love to someone you adore, you should openly share your love and affection with God. -------- Thank you for listening! Your support of Joni and Friends helps make this show possible.     Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Become part of the global movement today at www.joniandfriends.org   Find more encouragement on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube.

In this episode, you're getting the best of the best of The Mel Robbins Podcast. These are the 9 moments people couldn't stop talking about this year. In 2025, Mel released 106 episodes of the podcast and featured 75 experts who shared their transformative insights on health, relationships, mindset, and more. Together, this adds up to thousands of takeaways. Because your time is valuable, Mel is giving you a gift today: She and her team crunched the data, reviewed hundreds of hours of content, analyzed listener feedback, and pinpointed the moments you saved, replayed, and wrote about – the moments that made people sit up straighter, breathe deeper, and whisper, “Oh… that explains everything.” Whether you're new to the podcast, are figuring out which episodes to listen to next, or want to hear the most impactful advice summarized, today's episode is for you. These 9 ideas changed something in how you see yourself, how you heal, how you eat, how you love, how you relate to your family, and what you believe is still possible for your life. If you're ready for the kind of insight that rearranges how you think and how you live, start with these 9 moments people couldn't stop talking about – including the #1 most-shared episode of the entire year on both Spotify and Apple Podcasts. This episode is the cheat sheet for the level-up in life you have been looking for. Want more from these experts? Check out the full episodes here: Jay Shetty: A Process for Finding Purpose: Do THIS to Build the Life You Want | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeDanielle Bayard Jackson: It's Not You: The Real Reason Adult Friendship Is So Hard & 3 Ways to Make It Easier | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeDr. Dawn Mussallem: Mayo Clinic Cancer Doctor: 5 Foods That Heal the Body, Starve Cancer, & Prevent Disease | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeVanessa Marin: Your Guide to Better Sex, Intimacy, & Love From a World-Leading Sex Therapist | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeJason Wilson: The Real Reason Boys and Men Are Quietly Giving Up & What They Need to Hear | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeDr. Stacy Sims: The Body Reset: How Women Should Eat & Exercise for Health, Fat Loss, & Energy | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeDr. Vonda Wright: Look, Feel, & Stay Young Forever: #1 Orthopedic Surgeon's Proven Protocol | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeDr. Gabor Mate: Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeBryan Stevenson: This Conversation Will Change Your Life: Do This to Find Purpose & Meaning | Apple | Spotify | YouTubeFor more resources related to today's episode, click here for the podcast episode page.  As a gift to listeners of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel has created a free 20-page workbook to help you make 2026 a great year. This workbook is designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and empower you to take the next step forward in your life. And the cool part? It takes less than a minute for you to get your hands on it. Just sign up at melrobbins.com/bestyear. Connect with Mel:   Get on the waitlist for Pure GeniusGet Mel's newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration.Get Mel's #1 bestselling book, The Let Them TheoryWatch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-freeDisclaimer Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

~[00:00] Opening: Should men be a lone wolf?~[00:02:00] Wolves, packs, and why most lone wolves don't survive winter.~[00:03:30] Every kingdom travels together: herd, pack, pride, school, colony.~[00:04:50] Why men who want to evolve can't do it alone.~[00:05:30] Vulnerability, being witnessed, and accountability.~[00:06:10] Man on Fire Brotherhood: faster alone, further together.~[00:07:10] A different kind of family: men who hold you to the fire.~[00:07:50] Closing and invitation to reflect and share your takeaway.

Ep. 214 (Part 2 of 2) | Part 2 of the 16th dialogue of the A. H. Almaas Wisdom Series takes us on a sweet journey farther into our exploration of the nature of the absolute. Hameed Ali discusses the paradox of the absolute, being both source and cessation of all things, the nonduality of emptiness and beingness, these being two sides of the same coin, and explains why many nondual teachings do not touch upon the absolute. He makes sense of the difficult-to-fathom concept of pure emptiness, explaining that the absolute's nature is absence—in contrast with presence—and relates that Mystery is the essence of the absolute, the fundamental essence of the nature of reality. “We are never going to know where it's at, what's happening, what life is about,” he laughs. Our knowledge is but “small islands in the vast ocean of mystery we live in;” mystery cannot be eliminated.In the absolute, the soul finds its final resting place, Hameed tells us. The absolute is our true home—the essence of the meaning of home. All humans are searching for their true home, Hameed says, and they search in many places. But here the search is over. Reflections of the absolute bring us closer to love, like when we are in love, Hameed continues. Being in love with an outer beloved brings us closer to the inner beloved and we see deeper. “The absolute is total intimacy, Hameed finishes. “In the absolute we are intimate with everything.” How do we express this in the world, in our ordinary lives? “It becomes very simple,” Hameed says. “The absolute is the essence of simplicity—so simple, even though there is a profundity…” Recorded October 9, 2025.“You don't have to experience the absolute to know nonduality.”​ Topics & Time Stamps – Part 2Emptiness is nondual with consciousness, two sides of the same thing (01:03)Many nondual teachings don't talk about the absolute (02:50)You don't have to experience the absolute to know nonduality (03:32)There's no sense of individual self, but some teachings take the absolute as the ultimate Self (04:52)Making sense of pure emptiness: the absolute's nature is absence—in contrast with presence (09:47) The absolute is the essence of mystery (12:59)Experiencing all phenomena as projections of the absolute (13:57)The absolute reveals that true nature itself is unmanifest (17:58)Mystery is the nature of the absolute; the absolute IS mystery (19:08)The absolute is the extreme limit of purity; the heart empty of everything except the love of God (23:13)We live in an ocean of mystery; what we know are little islands (25:07)The search ends in the absolute; the soul is home (27:32)Reflections

Union with Christ is more than you turning over a new leaf or making a decision to live a better life. It's the life of Jesus Christ flowing into you by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.Gratitude isn't optional in marriage — it's foundational.In this episode of The ‘NEW' Marriage, Cass and Kathryn expose why marriages without gratitude drift apart faster than anything else, including sex issues, conflict, or resentment.When gratitude disappears, obligation turns into bitterness, connection breaks down, and couples slowly become roommates. This episode breaks down why gratitude is the gateway to leadership, giving, intimacy, and rebuilding trust — even in a disconnected or sexless marriage.You'll learn:Why gratitude is the foundation of leadership in marriageHow obligation turns into resentment without appreciationWhy sex, effort, and responsibility feel empty without gratitudeHow gratitude rebuilds trust and emotional safetyWhy one reason your partner stays is actually an opportunityHow to stop drifting apart — even when connection feels forcedThe fastest way couples unknowingly sabotage intimacyIf your marriage feels transactional, distant, or emotionally flat — this episode will help you shift your mindset, restore connection, and rebuild the foundation of the NEW marriage.

In this Christmas Eve solo episode, I shift gears from our recent focus on online safety and talk about one of the most common—and painful—issues I see in long-term marriages: roommate syndrome. That quiet drift where intimacy fades, connection feels awkward, and marriage starts to feel more like co-parenting logistics than a romantic partnership. If you've ever laid in bed next to your wife feeling disconnected, unwanted, or unsure how things got this way, this episode is for you.   I share my own experience falling into roommate syndrome after years of marriage, kids, exhaustion, and unmet expectations. We talk about resentment, covert contracts, why nagging is often a cry for connection, and how most men were never taught how attraction actually works in marriage. I also explain why marriage—like jiu-jitsu or any skill—requires training, intentional effort, and doing what most men aren't willing to do if you want a relationship that's truly on fire.     Timeline Summary: [0:00] What roommate syndrome feels like when intimacy has faded. [1:39] Why so many marriages slowly slip into "friend zone" dynamics. [2:02] The statistic that 57% of married couples experience this season. [2:28] How resentment, logistics, and exhaustion kill connection. [3:07] Closing out the online safety series and shifting topics. [3:50] Why Larry chose to release this episode on Christmas Eve. [4:26] Introducing roommate syndrome as a core marriage issue. [5:03] Larry's 22-year marriage and personal experience with disconnection. [6:17] How kids, work, and busyness slowly erode intimacy. [6:53] When sex starts to feel transactional or obligatory. [7:13] Why "nagging" is often a bid for attention and being seen. [7:33] Sitting on opposite ends of the couch scrolling instead of connecting. [7:56] Covert contracts and resentment in marriage. [8:17] Why solving instead of listening makes wives feel unseen. [8:56] Awkward date nights and avoiding real conversations about intimacy. [9:18] A client story that began with signed divorce papers. [9:41] How real change happens when a man does the work. [10:15] Why becoming the man you're meant to be changes everything. [10:57] Marriage requires training just like work or martial arts. [11:14] Understanding attraction and speaking the right "currency" in marriage. [11:51] Loving your spouse the way they receive love. [12:11] Introducing the Roommates to Soulmates live course. [12:56] Creating confidence, attraction, and intimacy without neediness. [13:17] Why uncommon marriages require uncommon effort. [13:38] The reality that only 10–12% of marriages feel "on fire." [14:03] Rejecting the belief that passion naturally dies over time. [14:32] Marriage as a skill set that can be learned and mastered. [15:05] Course details, limited spots, and next steps. [15:25] Christmas message and encouragement to live legendary.     Five Key Takeaways: Roommate syndrome doesn't happen overnight—it's the result of neglecting connection, intimacy, and intentional effort.  Resentment grows when expectations go unspoken and needs are assumed instead of communicated.  Attraction in marriage is a learned skill, not something that automatically sustains itself over time.  Men must lead attraction with confidence, not needy or transactional energy.  Exceptional marriages are uncommon because they require uncommon effort, training, and intentional action.      Links & Resources: Roommates to Soulmates Course: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates 1st Phorm (Dad Edge Partner): https://1stphorm.com/dadedge Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1418     Closing Remark   If this episode hit home and reminded you that marriage doesn't have to settle into mediocrity, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. You weren't meant to be roommates—you were meant to build a marriage on fire. From my heart to yours, have a Merry Christmas and continue to live legendary.

In this episode of the Kreatures of Habit Podcast, Michael Chernow sits down with Kelsey Kitsch to explore intimacy, connection, and the transformative potential of psychedelics for mental health. From rebuilding romance in long-term relationships to navigating societal pressures that often pull couples apart, this conversation dives deep into both emotional and sexual connection.Michael and Kelsey discuss how small gestures, playful flirting, and intentional communication can reignite passion and strengthen bonds. They also explore the evolving world of psychedelics as a therapeutic tool, particularly for addressing trauma, fears, and mental health challenges — and how these practices can integrate with a sober, intentional lifestyle.Balancing insightful advice with personal anecdotes and humor, the conversation offers actionable strategies for improving relationships, personal growth, and connection with yourself and others.You'll hear insights on:-Rebuilding intimacy in long-term relationships-Small, intentional gestures that reignite romance-The impact of societal norms and life pressures on connection-Psychedelics as a tool for mental health and healing-Balancing science, spirituality, and personal growth-Confidence, communication, and energy in partnershipsWhether you're looking to reconnect with your partner, deepen your emotional intimacy, or explore alternative tools for mental wellness, this episode is full of practical tips and thought-provoking ideas.See you next week, Kreatures!#kreaturesofhabit #relationships #intimacy #connection #psychedelics #mentalhealth #personalgrowth #mindfulliving #flirting #communication #soberlivingTIME STAMPS:00:00 The Oneness Experience and Relationship Dynamics00:43 Flirting and Reconnecting with Your Partner01:25 Entrepreneurial Mindset and Team Building02:55 The Sniper Analogy in Business05:22 Defining Entrepreneurship and Personal Success05:57 The Journey of Winning Awards12:32 Overcoming Challenges and Making Tough Decisions16:27 Exploring Plant Medicine for Healing41:51 The Transformative Power of Psychedelics44:19 The Intersection of Science and Spirituality45:16 Exploring the Concept of Soul and Energy50:39 The Oneness Experience: Reconnecting with Your Partner53:33 Intimacy and Communication in Long-Term Relationships01:00:33 Practical Tips for Reigniting Passion01:12:22 The Importance of Confidence and Connection01:16:37 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Can You Imagine Having the Tools to Easily Rewrite Your Relationship with Intimacy and Create a More Fulfilling (and Juicier) Life? Join us on this episode of Shameless Sex, where we dive into the world of Intimacy Rewired. Not only will you learn about this online course that will transform your relationships and life, but you will also walk away with a few life changing tools to apply in your own life. Amy Baldwin and Ian Stratton are the masterminds behind this groundbreaking program, and they're here to share more about this program, alongside guests such as Dr. Nazanin Moali, Keeley Rankin, MA, Dr. Charlie Glickman, Sarah Tomchessen, and more. Here's what you can expect from this episode: • The whys and how-to's on easy tools for sexual and romantic healing that will last and actually change your life • A personal and intimate conversation with Amy and Ian about their journey to creating Intimacy Rewired and why they think healing doesn't always have to be hard (or unpleasant) • A deep dive into the course's unique approach to transforming intimacy, including how to break free from patterns that hold you back • A live demo (on April!) of their approach, using a real-life communication snag as an example • Insights into how the course can help you build a stronger, more resilient sense of self and create lasting change Ian Stratton, a lifelong healing nerd, has spent thousands of hours leading deep work with individuals and groups, blending Internal Family Systems, somatic psychotherapy, breathwork, and ethical psychedelic practice. His goal? To make personal growth real, practical, and accessible. Amy Baldwin brings her own brand of obsession to the table, and together, they've created a program that's simple, fun, and accessible. With a focus on active learning and integration, Intimacy Rewired is not just a course – it's a journey of transformation. So, what sets Intimacy Rewired apart from other courses and workshops? According to Ian and Amy, it's the combination of simple practices, habits, and actionable steps that make it stick. They'll share their approach, and you'll get a taste of what it's like to work with them. Ready to transform your intimacy and create a more fulfilling life? Shameless Sex listeners get $100 off the course – just head to ⁠https://intimacyrewired.com ⁠and mention the show. As Amy says, "Come play with us." Don't miss this opportunity to rewrite your relationship with intimacy and create a more fulfilling life.

In this Greatest Hits episode of TechMagic, host Cathy Hackl is joined by Samantha G Wolfe, founder of PitchFWD and NYU adjunct professor, to explore how AI and emerging tech are redefining relationships. From AI-generated love letters to dating in virtual environments, they examine the evolving boundaries between authentic connection and digital convenience. The duo discusses the ethics of emotional AI, the importance of human messiness, and the need for “non-AI pledges” in romance. Packed with Cathy's real-world experiments and insightful commentary, this episode is essential for anyone navigating love, intimacy, and connection in a world increasingly shaped by technology.What you will learn:How AI companions are being used beyond loneliness reliefWhy the "messiness" of human relationships remains valuable How to navigate the balance between technology-enhanced and authentic human connections in modern dating using Cathy's Tech Intimacy ScaleThe emerging challenges of AI-generated messages in relationshipsWhy creating "non-AI relationship pledges" might become important How spatial computing and 3D interactions could transform the future of digital dating and what Cathy's building to disrupt this space Why human presence and in-person connections remain crucial Come for the tech, stay for the magic!Samantha G Wolfe BioSamantha G Wolfe is the founder of Pitch Forward and an adjunct professor at NYU, where she teaches pioneering courses on avatars, AI agents, and virtual beings. With a background in psychology, television, and emerging tech, Sam specializes in brand strategy for bleeding-edge technologies, helping visionary companies clearly articulate their value and future impact. Her expertise spans AI, spatial computing, XR, haptics, and metaverse innovation across 20+ industries. Known for her clarity, depth, and contagious enthusiasm, she bridges the gap between innovation and understanding through thought leadership, marketing strategy, and education, empowering the world to grasp the true potential of tomorrow's tech.Samantha G Wolfe on LinkedInKey Discussion Topics:00:00 Welcome to Tech Magic: Special Episode on Tech, Love & Life02:47 Dating in the Age of AI: Government Restrictions and Digital Romance12:20 Beyond Loneliness: The Many Reasons People Use AI Companions16:05 The Value of Human "Messiness" in Relationships21:00 Reimagining Digital Dating Through 3D Presence38:15 The Non-AI Relationship Pledge: Setting Digital Boundaries44:53 The Tech Intimacy Scale: Finding Balance in Modern Love50:20 Dating AI Chatbots: A Week-Long Experiment Preview58:54 Closing Thoughts: The Future of Human Connection Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've been trying every marriage tip on the internet—communication tricks, intimacy hacks, date-night ideas—yet desire still feels flat and connection still feels off, this episode is for you.So many wives in the empty nest quietly wonder:– Why does desire feel shut down?– Why does intimacy feel disconnected?– Why does communication still feel tense or shallow?Here's the truth:Marriage tips can't fix a heart that's guarded, exhausted, or carrying resentment.Because desire, intimacy, and communication are spiritual and emotional issues long before they're practical ones.In this episode of Miracle Marriage Makeover, I'm sharing the 3 core truths about desire, connection, and communication—why they break down in midlife, why “tips” don't stick, and what actually restores closeness again.You'll learn:– Why desire isn't a switch, but a reflection of safety and emotional connection– Why intimacy begins long before the bedroom in micro-moments of softness– Why communication won't land when your heart is armored– Why spiritual alignment is the starting point for real changeIf your marriage feels functional but not connected… warm but not intimate… or “fine” but missing closeness, this episode will give you the clarity and hope you've been craving.This is where emotional reconnection begins—Not with more strategies, but with a softened, Spirit-led heart.Tune in now for a deeply encouraging, practical, and faith-centered look at rebuilding desire, intimacy, and communication in the empty nest.And if you want community and support on this journey, join my free private Facebook group:Empty Nest Wives – Rebuilding Intimacy & Connection.

In this re-release of a classic episode of the Presence Pioneers Podcast, Matthew Lilley discusses the concept of forerunners in the context of Jesus' first and second comings. He highlights key biblical figures such as Anna and John the Baptist, emphasizing their roles in preparing the way for Jesus. The conversation explores the importance of prayer, fasting, and partnership with God in fulfilling His purposes. Matthew encourages listeners to embrace their calling as forerunners, engaging in a lifestyle of prayer and intercession to prepare for Jesus' return. Merry Christmas!

We're taught that real love should feel effortless… but the truth is that long-term love isn't something you fall into and stay in automatically. It's something you choose, nurture, and return to — again and again.In this episode of Reignite: Love, Sex & Truth for Conscious Couples (formerly known as Get Your Sexy Back for Couples) , Kim & Roberto break down the fairytale myth of effortless love and reveal what actually makes relationships thrive: repair, truth, emotional presence, and the willingness to grow together.They share how old stories, early conditioning, and unconscious patterns shape adult relationships… and how choosing each other through the uncomfortable moments creates deeper safety, connection, and desire.This episode is a powerful reminder that the couples who thrive aren't the ones who avoid rupture — they're the ones who repair with intention and love. What You'll Hear in This EpisodeWhy the belief that love should be effortless sets couples up for disappointment and disconnectionHow childhood stories, family patterns, and early relationships quietly shape what we expect from love as adultsWhy growth triggers old wounds and how those unconscious patterns show up inside long-term relationships.How repair is an erotic superpower and why it strengthens connection far more than avoiding conflict ever couldHow choosing each other again and again creates long-term love that feels grounded, safe, intimate, and wildly fulfilling Love isn't effortless… It's chosen. And when you choose each other with intention, your relationship becomes the most powerful place for healing and awakening. ✨ Save your spot for our upcoming February Couples Retreat: A sacred, guided experience for five couples ready to reconnect, heal, and reignite. Reserve your retreat spot here:

Learn about what it means to build spiritual intimacy as a couple. We're exploring how adoring Him together can bring you closer together. | “Spiritual intimacy can be more intimate than sexual intimacy.” —Alisa DiLorenzo Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage? Yes it is! In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You'll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach. Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today! Links from today's episode: Join Intimacy Mastery Today Apply for Coaching With Alisa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife walks through her own marriage journey to illustrate what relational growth looks like. She shares how marriage revealed parts of herself she didn't want to see and how learning to stay in honest conflict has helped her relationship grow over the years. She also discusses how couples unknowingly co-create the dynamics they resent, and what it means to actually love and value your partner for who they are.

As we approach the New Year, many women feel pressure to "fix" their intimacy. In this episode, Dr. Sonia invites you to do something different. Instead of judgment or goal-setting, this first episode in the New Year, New Diamond Intimacy series focuses on awareness—looking honestly and compassionately at what intimacy was (and wasn't) for you over the past year. Using a playful A Christmas Carol metaphor, Dr. Sonia helps you visit the "ghost of intimacy past" to gather information, not blame. You'll explore how intimacy felt in your body, what supported connection, what made it harder, and how emotional load, exhaustion, perfectionism, and outdated expectations quietly shape desire. This episode is an invitation to replace self-criticism with curiosity—and to begin the New Year from a place of clarity, kindness, and choice. ✨ This episode also introduces The New Year, New Diamond Intimacy Experience, a high-touch coaching opportunity for women ready to intentionally create intimacy that fits the woman they are now.  

THE ACTOR-EMPEROR AND THE SHIFT FROM DIGNITAS TO INTIMACY Colleagues Gaius and Germanicus, Friends of History Debating Society, Londinium, 91 AD. In this session, set against the backdrop of a cold winter in Londinium, Gaius and Germanicus explore the evolution of the imperial persona, drawing sharp parallels between the Roman Emperor Nero and modern American figures Bill Clinton and Donald Trump. Germanicus argues that the essential skill of the modern "emperor" is the capacity to create an intimate emotional connection with the populace, a transformation that began with Teddy Roosevelt's dramatic speeches but was fully realized by Franklin D. Roosevelt's "fireside chats." While Roman emperors like Augustus relied on dignitas, stoicism, and an aura of divinity, the American tradition demands that the leader embody the "passions and authenticity of the people." Donald Trump is identified as the culmination of this trend, possessing an "intense capacity to connect emotionally," which allows him to survive overwhelming opposition, unlike Clinton, whose "genius is fled" in his later years. NUMBER 1 1888