Portentous Perils in the 23rd Century

In the final episode, Portentous gives her bridal speech, gets us up to date with what her family, friends and enemies are up to, details the slight hitch to her Winterval nuptuals and informs us all of her next adventure. To the future! Have a hip flask.

In this Summer Special, Portentous is home at last. Hear about what she's been up to in Nanoclown Quarantine, her Medieval Type Quest to create a portal home from her time loop prison, and how Happiness accidentally destroyed a skyscraper (albeit just the one).

In this Halloween Special, join Mimi the Orangutan French Maid, Sidekick & Podcaster, as she tells us of the great android detective Lupin Savant's latest case. It all began one afternoon dreary when a raven came tapping, tapping at his chamber door. Featuring Jess Mersky as The Advert.

In this summer special, Portentous is still missing so in the place of her usual column, the paper literally just plays half an hour of adverts. Find out about Barry Island's monkey-proof fencing, Saffron Walden's Vegan Meats, the upcoming Global Election and the fun, fun harmless hobby of gambling. Guest starring Clarissa Maycock, Frog Stone, Gareth Gwynn, Ben Partridge, Nat Metcalfe, Meabh de Brun, Jon Hunter, Jenny Laville & Max Davis

In this Quarantined Special, Portentous documents in her personal journal how she's been spending her time trapped in the time loop in 2216. Mostly, she's been hiding from Senator Cthulu and his plague of Nano Clowns. How is she going to get out of this one? (Probably Science).

Having accidentally Leaped into Cecily Spokeswoman due to Beckett's Theorem, Professor Von Pun is able to send us one of his traditional festive Round Robins, in the form of an audio file that cannot be stopped or muted. Discover how the Professor escaped Mars, brought festive cheer to Earth and had a lovely time with Moriarty at the Arctic Ocean Center Parcs.

It's Halloween 2219 & Cecily Spokeswoman has lots of festive messages for us from the corporate Martian overlords at Googapplmazon McUnilever, now that the megacorporation has bought sole rights to Halloween and the emotion known as 'fear'. Her main message is 'do not be afraid of the spacetime rifts opening up all over the place.' They really are nothing to worry about. Featuring Frog Stone as Cecily Spokeswoman, Alec Chapman as Professor Von Pun, Guy Kelly as Happiness George, Natt Tapley as the Gentleman an Gabby Hutchinson Crouch as everyone else.

The Quantum of Happiness: Our non-brand specific home AI has a recording from the vault for us - part of Happiness George's memoirs as he recounts his first meeting with Portentous, in which he did not get to eat any chocolates at all. He does, however, get a biscuit. Guest written by Jess Mersky, guest starring Guy Kelly as Happiness.

With Professor Von Pun still mysteriously missing, this year's Evil Round Robin comes from a minor Moriarty. Cast out by all the other Moriarties for not being Moriartyish enough, the Moriarty from the movie Young Sherlock Holmes finds himself delivered from despair by a visit from a kindly guardian angel, who shows him he's a wonderful Moriarty, and also has a lot of Winterval Dinners to eat. Guest Stars Alec Chapman as The Moriarty.

With Portentous and the gang still missing, it falls upon Skellington Bones, the Old Intern, to put together a very special Halloween broadcast this year, with spine chilling reports from Honora O'Malley and Cecily Spokeswoman, and a letter to the editor from an irate Monkey Butler. Dare you brave the tale of the ghost from the Welsh town of Port Myntw? Guest stars Brendan Dodds, Meabh de Brun, Frog Stone & Paul Jenkins.

Episode 17: Let's Kill Cthulu. Von Pun & The Gentleman arrive in their Time Machine and tell the gang that due to a paradox they must travel back in time and kill President Cthulu, but there's a chance that this will cause a time loop. Von Pun & The Gentleman arrive in their Time Machine and tell the gang that due to a paradox they must travel back in time and kill President Cthulu, but there's a chance that this will cause a time loop.

Episode 16: Baby, I'm a-Mazed. Believing Professor Von Pun & The Gentleman to not actually be Definitely Dead This Time, merely mysteriously missing, Portentous and the gang partner up once more with Lupin Savant to find them. They are not expecting, however, to fall into a deadly, intricate torture maze, filled with danger, an extremely muddled aesthetic and an awful lot of jumpsuits.

Episode 15: Time, The Gentleman, Please. In this Anniversary episode, Portentous is given 200 year old recordings which appear to have been made by The Gentleman, who has only been and gone and got himself stuck in a cupboard in the distant past, the absolute ninny. Guest Starring Natt Tapley as The Gentleman.

Episode 14: Daisy Daisy. Erudition is summoned once again by the League of Adventuresses, to help them rescue Daisy, an android flower girl, from the clutches of a mysterious professor and his Gentlema... OK, it's clearly Von Pun who's kidnapped her. As the gang go about their heist, it seems that love - and music - is in the air.

Episode 13: A Distinctly Domestic Affair. Foreign Affairs Correspondent Honora o'Malley reports from a society wedding (look - it's an overseas story to her, she's Irish) where guests Portentous, Erudition & Happiness get into trouble with a mountain of cheesy doom, some very suspicious photographers and the one wedding ring to rule them all. Guest written by and starring Meabh de Brun.

Episode 12: One Of Our Draculas Is Missing. Portentous shares clandestine footage taken during her undercover investigation to locate the missing Dracula recently stolen by gangsters from St Bart's As Seen On BBC's Sherlock Hospital. A new uneasy alliance is made, and a new enemy is discovered. Guest starring Alec Chapman and Alex Crouch.

Episode 11: The Sad Story of Rosebud The Childhood Sledge. A special episode commemorating the life and work of media mogul The 7th Lord McKenzie, who built a vast broadcasting empire and fortune from nothing but an inherited vast broadcasting empire and fortune, and who also had a beloved childhood sledge, which he called Rosebud.

Episode 10: The Island of Agony. The Synonyms are approached by their old ally, the great android detective Lupin Savant, for their assistance in locating a number of missing Monkey Butlers, thought to have been taken prisoner on the ominous Island of Agony by some mysterious Scientist of clearly Evil persuasion. Twists, turns, jetpacks and improbable System Updates await our heroes.

In this Festive Special, we get our annual unsolicited round robin from Professor Von Pun, detailing in particular a curious event that happened to him and The Gentleman at a works do. Guest starring Alec Chapman as Von Pun.

Episode 8 - Seeds Of Doom: The Vault. In the 2nd part of this 2 part adventure, the Synonyms travel to the lost seed vault of Svalbard, along with their mysterious allies Agda Nordstrom, Helga Northface and Dame Hillary Scott. There they must face sand dunes, a cryptic horse, more scientists and a shocking discovery. Guest written by Jess Mersky.

Episode 7 - Seeds of Doom: The Custom of the Sea. In the first thrilling instalment of a two part adventure, Portentous journeys with Erudition, Happiness and her Doomy Uncle Ogilvy to find The Lost Seed Vault Of Svalbard. First, however, they must negotiate a dangerous, possibly doomed, sea voyage. Guest written by Jess Mersky.

In this Halloween Special, Portentous has committed to doing a fun little live feed. There's nothing terrible going on outside. Do not approach your windows. Guest stars Max Davis & Frog Stone

Episode 5 - Settling Old Scores. Erudition is invited to CERN, the coolest lab in the world, to bear witness to the manifestation of John Williams, who was lost to the void during the Great Hadron Collider Proms Disaster. However, the gang face terrible consequences when a horrific creature crawls out from the rift in spacetime. This episode is a musical!

Episode 4 - Death and/or Consequences. Portentous and Erudition have to deal with a mysterious haunted portrait and the small matter of lovely Happiness' possible demise. Guest written by Jess Mersky. Contains a free audio voucher!

Episode 3 - The League Under The Sea. Portentous & Happiness join Dr Synonym as she's summoned to help the League of Scientific Gal Pals track down a missing member... to the Lost City of Atlantis.

Episode 2: The Monkey Butler Did It. After Aunt Erudition's monkey butler Jenkins is framed for murder, the gang travel to Paris to seek the assistance of Lupin Savant, an android detective so genius that he has to be programmed with terrible character flaws to make him more narratively interesting.

Episode 1 - Aunt Erudition. The year is 2217. Plucky journalist Portentous Synonym reports back from a voyage of scientific discovery to the secret bio lab of her Aunt. Alas, what she finds there could have deadly consequences.