Tranquil Tirades

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Tranquil Tirades, dispensing monthly doses of sardonic wit and righteous anger on the worst movies of all time!

The Real Protagonists

  • May 26, 2020 LATEST EPISODE
  • infrequent NEW EPISODES
  • 2h 15m AVG DURATION
  • 148 EPISODES


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Latest episodes from Tranquil Tirades

Podcast Archive Update 01

Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2020 11:47


Recently our hosting provider suspended Earth-2.net and threatened to remove the site. To bring the site back online, major (but temporary) changes had to be made to the way we archive podcasts. In this first update, Mike explains the situation and outlines some options he's considering to bring Earth-2.net back to normal.

Podcast Archive Update 01

Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2020 11:47


Recently our hosting provider suspended Earth-2.net and threatened to remove the site. To bring the site back online, major (but temporary) changes had to be made to the way we archive podcasts. In this first update, Mike explains the situation and outlines some options he's considering to bring Earth-2.net back to normal.

Tranquil Tirades 68: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2017 129:22


This month, your heroes tackle one of the most universally reviled films in history: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Listen as they cover a film with no likable characters, no plot, no shame, and no mercy, all under the miasma of the most 1980s outfits ever seen. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 68: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2017 129:22


This month, your heroes tackle one of the most universally reviled films in history: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Listen as they cover a film with no likable characters, no plot, no shame, and no mercy, all under the miasma of the most 1980s outfits ever seen. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 66: The Spirit

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2017 154:25


This month, the guys finally get around to covering one of the most requested movies ever: The Spirit. It's a story of sexual frustration and bad lighting. As expected, they end up with egg on their face. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 66: The Spirit

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2017 154:25


This month, the guys finally get around to covering one of the most requested movies ever: The Spirit. It's a story of sexual frustration and bad lighting. As expected, they end up with egg on their face. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 65: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2017 120:26


Only in their dreams did The Real Protagonists think they'd get around to covering an Asylum movie, but with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus we just can't shake the feeling that this is going to be another disappointment. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 65: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2017 120:26


Only in their dreams did The Real Protagonists think they'd get around to covering an Asylum movie, but with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus we just can't shake the feeling that this is going to be another disappointment. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 64: After Earth

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2017 131:00


Now this is the story all about how / The guys covered a movie they regret picking out / We sure hope this episode fills you with mirth / Because this is the one where we do After Earth. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 64: After Earth

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2017 131:00


Now this is the story all about how / The guys covered a movie they regret picking out / We sure hope this episode fills you with mirth / Because this is the one where we do After Earth. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 63: Elves

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2017 132:55


Continuing the grand tradition of holiday classics, James and Damien tackle Elves, a story of Nazi incest and tenuous pluralization. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 63: Elves

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2017 132:55


Continuing the grand tradition of holiday classics, James and Damien tackle Elves, a story of Nazi incest and tenuous pluralization. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 62: The Twilight Saga - Eclipse

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2016 250:52


It's that time once again. Hannah Krueger joins the guys for their annual Twilight suffer-fest, this time in the form of Eclipse. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 62: The Twilight Saga - Eclipse

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2016 250:52


It's that time once again. Hannah Krueger joins the guys for their annual Twilight suffer-fest, this time in the form of Eclipse. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 61: Warriors of the Wasteland

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2016 100:16


Warriors of the Wasteland was a mistake. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 61: Warriors of the Wasteland

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2016 100:16


Warriors of the Wasteland was a mistake. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 60: Samurai Cop 2 - Deadly Vengeance

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2016 178:54


The Real Protagonists celebrate five years of the Tranquil Tirades the only way they know how: with disappointment. This month's disappointment comes in the form of Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, a sequel 20 years in the making that had about 20 seconds of thought put into it. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 60: Samurai Cop 2 - Deadly Vengeance

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2016 178:54


The Real Protagonists celebrate five years of the Tranquil Tirades the only way they know how: with disappointment. This month's disappointment comes in the form of Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, a sequel 20 years in the making that had about 20 seconds of thought put into it. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 59: Jem and the Holograms

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2016 197:35


Hey, kids, did you know you can get a record deal overnight and become the most famous person in the world just by uploading a single two-minute video of singing and strumming an acoustic guitar to YouTube? (That sound you hear in the background is Damien's white-hot rage becoming sentient.) This month, The Real Protagonists tackle Jem and the Holograms - a movie that no one saw, and is so out of touch with reality, it actually shows a YouTube video being fully uploaded in under 60 seconds. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 59: Jem and the Holograms

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2016 197:35


Hey, kids, did you know you can get a record deal overnight and become the most famous person in the world just by uploading a single two-minute video of singing and strumming an acoustic guitar to YouTube? (That sound you hear in the background is Damien's white-hot rage becoming sentient.) This month, The Real Protagonists tackle Jem and the Holograms - a movie that no one saw, and is so out of touch with reality, it actually shows a YouTube video being fully uploaded in under 60 seconds. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 58: Faust - Love of the Damned

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2016 186:00


The Summer of Collaboration(TM) rolls on as Ian Wilson joins The Real Protagonists to cover Faust: Love of the Damned, a movie that makes not one iota of sense but is very, very metal. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 58: Faust - Love of the Damned

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2016 186:00


The Summer of Collaboration(TM) rolls on as Ian Wilson joins The Real Protagonists to cover Faust: Love of the Damned, a movie that makes not one iota of sense but is very, very metal. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 57: The Apocalypse

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2016 127:08


The Summer of Collaboration(TM) begins as Will Ackerman joins The Real Protagonists to cover The Apocalypse, a Sandra Bernhard vehicle that you've never heard of, probably because it was a Sandra Bernhard vehicle. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 57: The Apocalypse

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2016 127:08


The Summer of Collaboration(TM) begins as Will Ackerman joins The Real Protagonists to cover The Apocalypse, a Sandra Bernhard vehicle that you've never heard of, probably because it was a Sandra Bernhard vehicle. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 56: Riki-Oh - The Story of Riki

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2016 92:39


An episode years in the making, Damien finally sits James down to take in a viewing of one of history's finest cinematic achievements: Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 56: Riki-Oh - The Story of Riki

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2016 92:39


An episode years in the making, Damien finally sits James down to take in a viewing of one of history's finest cinematic achievements: Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 55: Elektra

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2016 125:35


We finally covered Elektra. We regret covering Elektra. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 55: Elektra

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2016 125:35


We finally covered Elektra. We regret covering Elektra. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 54: An Easter Bunny Puppy

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2016 127:43


More action! More excitement! More padding on a spectacularly shameless level! We'll leave it to you to decide which of those three things applies to our coverage of the next David DeCoteau film on our slate: An Easter Bunny Puppy. (Now with 37% more establishing shots!) Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 54: An Easter Bunny Puppy

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2016 127:43


More action! More excitement! More padding on a spectacularly shameless level! We'll leave it to you to decide which of those three things applies to our coverage of the next David DeCoteau film on our slate: An Easter Bunny Puppy. (Now with 37% more establishing shots!) Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 53: Deadfall

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2016 130:03


It's been a few years, but The Real Protagonists have finally returned to the wonderful world of Nicolas Cage films with 1993's Deadfall. It's every bit as enjoyable as watching Cage snort a metric ton of cocaine could possibly be. Well, until they kill him off, anyway. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 53: Deadfall

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2016 130:03


It's been a few years, but The Real Protagonists have finally returned to the wonderful world of Nicolas Cage films with 1993's Deadfall. It's every bit as enjoyable as watching Cage snort a metric ton of cocaine could possibly be. Well, until they kill him off, anyway. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 52: Jupiter Ascending

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2016 183:35


The Real Protagonists kick off the new year with Jupiter Ascending, a large mass of hot air that's really just stuff from other stuff under the guise of an "original story." Come for the snark, stay for the terrible impressions. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 52: Jupiter Ascending

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2016 183:35


The Real Protagonists kick off the new year with Jupiter Ascending, a large mass of hot air that's really just stuff from other stuff under the guise of an "original story." Come for the snark, stay for the terrible impressions. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 51: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2015 115:36


To cap off another year of astonishing cinema, James and Damien tackle Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Try not to go cross-eyed as you listen to two guys talk about a movie that's about two guys watching another guy tell a bunch of kids about a lady that's telling another lady a story about a tiny lady. Seriously. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 51: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2015 115:36


To cap off another year of astonishing cinema, James and Damien tackle Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Try not to go cross-eyed as you listen to two guys talk about a movie that's about two guys watching another guy tell a bunch of kids about a lady that's telling another lady a story about a tiny lady. Seriously. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 50: Silent Hill - Revelation 3D

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2015 250:04


To commemorate 50 episodes of the Tranquil Tirades, James and Damien go all out, perhaps too far, as they spend over four hours talking about Silent Hill: Revelation 3D, a movie comprised entirely of broken fandom and plot holes. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 50: Silent Hill - Revelation 3D

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2015 250:04


To commemorate 50 episodes of the Tranquil Tirades, James and Damien go all out, perhaps too far, as they spend over four hours talking about Silent Hill: Revelation 3D, a movie comprised entirely of broken fandom and plot holes. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 49: The Twilight Saga - New Moon

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2015 168:23


Big Damn Heroes cohost, Hannah Krueger, again joins The Real Protagonists as they suffer through the second bewilderingly popular Twilight movie: New Moon. Listen as the three hosts chronicle how the most unlikable protagonist in film history becomes a blubbering mess over losing her abusive vampire boyfriend, and then anoints her best friend as the Mayor of the Friend Zone. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 49: The Twilight Saga - New Moon

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2015 168:23


Big Damn Heroes cohost, Hannah Krueger, again joins The Real Protagonists as they suffer through the second bewilderingly popular Twilight movie: New Moon. Listen as the three hosts chronicle how the most unlikable protagonist in film history becomes a blubbering mess over losing her abusive vampire boyfriend, and then anoints her best friend as the Mayor of the Friend Zone. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 48: BloodRayne 2 - Deliverance

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2015 139:23


Before the main course next episode, the guys thought they would have a vampire appetizer in the form of BloodRayne 2: Deliverance: AKA Uwe Boll's laziest film ever. Also, they share their thoughts on the original subject of their ire: Spider-Man 3. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 48: BloodRayne 2 - Deliverance

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2015 139:23


Before the main course next episode, the guys thought they would have a vampire appetizer in the form of BloodRayne 2: Deliverance: AKA Uwe Boll's laziest film ever. Also, they share their thoughts on the original subject of their ire: Spider-Man 3. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 47: Samurai Cop

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2015 167:27


This month, Damien and James tackle possibly the most ineptly made film in the annals of the show: B movie classic, Samurai Cop. Join your beloved hosts as they discuss horrible wigs, the lamest gang in all of fictional media, and classic Sega CD shooters. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 47: Samurai Cop

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2015 167:27


This month, Damien and James tackle possibly the most ineptly made film in the annals of the show: B movie classic, Samurai Cop. Join your beloved hosts as they discuss horrible wigs, the lamest gang in all of fictional media, and classic Sega CD shooters. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 46: Howard the Duck

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2015 115:43


Special guest Adam Karabel joins The Real Protagonists this month as they finally cross Howard the Duck off of the list. Good riddance to bad duck puns. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 46: Howard the Duck

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2015 115:43


Special guest Adam Karabel joins The Real Protagonists this month as they finally cross Howard the Duck off of the list. Good riddance to bad duck puns. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 45: Double Team

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2015 144:38


Van Damme does it feel like a long time since your hosts have been able to kick back with a fun action movie. Well, okay, Double Team is a mostly nonsensical, often baffling collection of loosely related scenes, but the ending is cool! Look, we'll take what we can get at this point. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 45: Double Team

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2015 144:38


Van Damme does it feel like a long time since your hosts have been able to kick back with a fun action movie. Well, okay, Double Team is a mostly nonsensical, often baffling collection of loosely related scenes, but the ending is cool! Look, we'll take what we can get at this point. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 44: Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2015 124:37


They've got an anger and a snark that you've never seen before / They've got the ability to withstand films that are a bore / This show, listen to James and Dubs / You will hear their childhood die / Go Go Tranquil Tirades / Go Go Tranquil Tirades / Go Go Tranquil Tirades / You masochistic Tranquil Tirades / (guitar solo) Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 44: Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2015 124:37


They've got an anger and a snark that you've never seen before / They've got the ability to withstand films that are a bore / This show, listen to James and Dubs / You will hear their childhood die / Go Go Tranquil Tirades / Go Go Tranquil Tirades / Go Go Tranquil Tirades / You masochistic Tranquil Tirades / (guitar solo) Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

Tranquil Tirades 43: The Happening

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2015 150:38


You know, for a movie called The Happening, there ain't a lot going on here. Please visit http://tranquiltirades.wikia.com.

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