Wandering Monster

Do you like trees? Then you'll be a fan of treants, the big, slow, all natural siege weapon. The treants come in trios, making them more powerful than a glance. Then we talk about Neothelids, the giant purple psychic wurms that spawn from illithid. Dylan has evolutions for cyclops, and Tristan has evolutions for mimics and water weirds.

First we talk about evil, nasty, murderous bones. It's skeletons, the most basic level one monster, and ways that you can apply them. Then we roll up more dinosaurs in Volos, and talk some more about ways to make use of them (hint, skeletons?). Dylan has a burnt out Kraken who wants to jam on his panpipes, and Tristan as a Snake monster seeking revenge on Branden Fraser.

First we tackle the giant lightning breathing salamanders that hate dragon and love ordering take out! Then we talk about cranium rats, the spies and servants of mindflayer elder brains. Dylan has a messed up cat with thumbs that let's animals out of their farms, and Tristan has a big tree with a foot.

Whoa! What's this podcast doing in my feed?! That's right, Tristan finally got around to editing a podcast recorded in July of 2020! Well I hope you're thirsty for some monsters, because these are some fairly inedible ones. First is the Otyugh, the fairly flexible trash monster that seems pretty rad to use. Next up is the Flail Snail from Volo's, which has way too many abilities to not try to squeeze into your campaign. Tristan has a bag of molding that follows the party around, and Dylan has a magic bookshelf that will DEFINITELY FINALLY help the party out with it's very intelligently chosen buffs.

You ready for some kind of liches? Not a full blown lich, more of a semi lich. A demi lich, if you will. We also brainstorm uses for the annoying and oily little boggle. After that, we talk about WIDE MONSTERS.

Episode 40! Justin's back! We talk about bugbears, the furry heavy infantry/brutish thugs of the goblinoid races! We then revisit orcs with the horrifying Tanarukk, a giant demonic orc with strengths against pretty much every class! We then hit you with just a handful of ridiculous super mario monsters. There's all the ones you'd expect, plus some even worse ones!

Hope you didn’t get your fill of flying mounts a few episodes ago, because now we’re back with the Pegasus! It’s a flying horse! There’s some other interesting stuff in there about them too. Then we talk about the Transmuter and the War Priest from Volo’s Guide to Monsters. These are some interesting caster units they include in the back of the book, and provide plenty of opportunities for interesting characters! Tristan has a Kobold with a big hammer, an ogre with a magic stick, and a rookie cultist with a complex powerful weapon. Dylan has a Goblin with a gun, an Ogre with a master assassin’s kit (and no skills to use it), and a bunch of Imps with a giant’s hammer!

We start you off with an introduction to Duergar! They're nasty grey little dwarves from the underdark who are just crazy about slaving and murder! Who would have thought? Then it's on to Orcs of Yurtrus, the nurtured ones and hands. Nurtured ones are orc banelings that explode to sicken you and prevent healing. Hands of Yurtrus are plagued themed Orc Clerics that are pretty dang creepy! Dylan wants to talk about his inter planar busker, asking for some change before getting his buddies, and Tristan made the Ankheg dig some inter planar holes and made it weaker, so now your first level party can get to the 9 hells! Neato!

Are you ready for the March of the Modrons? We recorded this in March, but didn't release it until April, so we sure weren't! They're little weird robots that roam the multiverse instilling order! And they're weird! Then we find the Blood Kiss, the unwanted dream child of a Beholder who is shockingly still CR 10. Tristan and Dylan then create a horror house of terrible golems made of unusual materials.

Hey, back to the normal formula! Specters are a much lower level spooky ghost for the party to fight, and they have a few interesting connections to other monsters that make them more than just a glowy purple man. Ki-rin are super space goat unicorns that can cast ninth level spells and do all sorts of crazy magic. And they can cater your wedding. Tristan has a little man with a door for a face to ambush the party, and Dylan has a monster that looks like a child and will kill the party with it's bad hair day.

We’re breaking protocol in this episode of Wandering Monster! No dice rolling, no random pages. We just show up with animals, how they’re awful in the monster manual and how we’d improve upon them. We got every animal in the zoo. We got crabs, we got cows, we got lions, we got gorillas, we got ostriches. That’s it, that’s every animal. You’re welcome.

On episode 34 of the Wandering Monster Podcast, we talk about Night Hags, and some other miscellaneous hag things! We go into their abilities, stat blocks, and how you might implement them in gameplay. We go a little bit into covens and hag items, but not much! We then find ourselves in Volo’s Guide to Monsters, looking at Catoblepas, the weird camel monstrosity that corrupts swamps and hits for 64 necrotic damage! Tristan has a wacky cult monster that can moonwalk through time, and Dylan has an enemy that progressively gets weaker as you beat it up over several encounters - except that it’s going backwards in time, so from your perspective it’s getting stronger.

The low level typical stone turning monster, the cockatrice shows up on this episode! We talk about interesting uses for them, they're difficulty in combat, and all that other good stuff. Salamanders are in Volo's guide to monsters, and they're basically non humanoid lizards with weapons and chicken mounts. And a strict militant theocracy. Dylan has a possessing smell monster, and Tristan has literal invisible bugbears!

Episode 32! Who’s our first monster? It’s Old Man Jenkins! Just kidding, it’s a spooky ghost, who have nasty powers to possess and shave 25 years on average off your lifespan if you have poor wisdom saves! Then we talk about Quicklings, the CR 1 monster that could solo a second level party, so just like the Flash, it needs to not try very hard in order to be balanced. Tristan brings a psychic snake monster that dons a trench coat, and Dylan has the perfect rogue.

In this episode, we talk about Marid, the chaotic neutral fish genie that has a huge amount of powerful magic, and tricky escapes. We talk about all of the genies a bit, including wishes, and how they’re way, way, too into slaves. Then we switch to the Cave Fisher in Volos’ Guide to Monsters, the unassuming underdark monster that gives you a lot of useful parts after defeating it, such as alcoholic blood, thin and strong strands, and tough bug chitin. Tristan shares Weasel Snake lawful good spell dispenser, and Dylan shares his good aligned treasure protectors and seekers, 2 .lawful or good agents seeking to thwart the other.

Episode 30 means we bring back our buddy Justin! We talk about the loathsome Troglodytes and the funky and flexible Sea Spawn. Troglodytes make great random monsters at early levels, and Sea Spawn are a monster that you can throw into a weird ocean campaign that you can adapt in a dozen ways. Turtle shells? Shark heads? Poison stingers? We then talk about mounts we brought! Justin has a hippo that randomly shrinks or grows, taking its rider along with it. Dylan has a tree frog that can spice up positioning on the battlefield. Tristan has a very weak half buzzard half jackel that you can put orcs or skeletons on!

In this historic episode 29, we open up Volo's Guide to Monsters and start pulling monsters from there as well! Our first monster is the Hippogryph, and we also review Griffons while we're at it. Second we get the Shoosuva, a demon to use with gnolls, and we throw in the Maw Demon while we're there too. Tristan has a snake with a head on both ends that controls the battlefield, and Dylan has an elusive courier that the party needs to capture.

We talk a little bit about the wizard familiar creature the humonculus, a cute little gargoyle made out of ash and clay. Then we spend way too much time talking about Gith, the strange alien race that lives in the Astral sea and acts as either space pirates or psychic monks. Dylan as a floating humongous jellyfish that acts as an obstacle to over come, and Tristan has barracudas and other fish that can swim in moon light.

We talk about the very scary, but very slow flesh jelly monster, the Gibbering Mouther! This guy is pretty easy to kite and kill, but the permanent death it threatens and it's nasty bite makes it very deadly when things go wrong. Blights are up next, the plant monsters that come from vampire trees! There are a few types, and they're actually pretty good to use! Tristan has a type of warrior that keeps coming back like a Lich, and Dylan has elementals in swords and a crazy music box fae spirit.

It turns out Water Weirds are really cool creatures with a ton of interesting applications and they have basically zero lore in the book! We go over some of the cool ways to use them, and some interesting twists. We then go on to Stirges, the bat mosquito that has 2 hitpoints but hits like a truck. We're not a fan, as we basically view these as hit point taxes on the party. Dylan has a bug race that structures it's hierarchy based on the number or arms a bug has, and Tristan has an Owl that reanimates a bunch of woodland critters as zombies.

For Episode 25, we have a guest, Kharma, who we’ve been playing D&D with for the better part of a decade. The dice take us to Harpies, the closest thing to a classical siren in the Monster Manual, and who are really more environmental hazards than they are monsters to fight. Then we talk about Shambling Mounds, the huge plant monsters that eat everything in their path and entangle the party members within their composting bodies. They also are all about lightning! Kharma wants to talk about a Corpse Flower that takes over a Treant’s body, Dylan has brain worms that will control your movement action, and Tristan has a moss that gives monsters sorcerer powers.

We talk about Kua Toa, the tiny fish race of humanoids that live in the under dark and can create their own gods from their own belief. We then talk about Hobgoblins, the lawful evil race of goblinoids and ways you can use them aside from commanding the less intelligent goblinoid races. Dylan has a potion seller who sells the party defunct potions, and an alchemist dog that amplifies potion effects. Tristan put arms and legs on vials and a cauldron and called it a job well done.

We talk about the neutral and sedentary Galeb Duhr, a rock monster that can roll into others and bring boulders to life. We then talk about Sahaguin, the shark people of the sea, and talk about how to effectively use their 3 stat blocks. They are a lot more interesting than they initially seem! Tristan has a goblinoid war beast that enrages at half health, and Dylan has a monster that slowly builds a form that shatters when it takes damage.

We talk about Banshees, the roaming undead spirits that haunt swamps and forests, and can down a party in a single cry! We then talk about Oni, the giant magical ogre, and how similar it's abilities are to that of a vampire. We then discuss variants on Zombies, and ways to improve upon them.

More underdark monsters! We talk about Flumphs, the weird intelligent mood ring jellyfish of the underdark that feed off of psychic energy, and how you might use such a weird monster. Then Xorn, the gem eating rock monster that probably won't attack the party for their juicy juicy gems. Dylan has a mosquito that will try to lure you to it's lair, and Tristan has a race of tiny psychopath "giant slayers" looking to turn the party's heads into trophies.

On Episode 20, special guest Justin returns to talk about Cursed Races! We also roll up Quaggoths, which are kind of a cursed bestial race, and then talk about Bullywugs, one of the strangest monsters that it'd be embarrassing to lose to. Justin has a race of cursed, drowned folk by the sea that must do the bidding of a sea god, Tristan has a race of psychic angler fish merfolk in the underdark, and Dylan has a race of blind, deaf, mute, and generally senseless people that will sense your footsteps and stone you to death!

The dice bring us to a D&D classic: Goblins! We talk about ways to commonly use them, spice it up with some other goblinoids, and just chat about them in general. Up next are Driders, the half spider, half drow monster that hangs out in the underdark and is pretty dang cool. Tristan has a variant on beholders and medusas that involve giving them dragon heads, and Dylan has a variant on Gnoll tactics, taking them from demonic raiders and turning them into opportunistic bandits.

We talk about Spined devils, the flying monkeys of D&D, Rust Monsters, the surprisingly tamable early level monster that makes for a great encounter, and Nothics, a weird one eyed monster that is all about magical secrets. Dylan has brought a reptilian judge who announces rules during the fight, and Tristan has some genies that like to broker with True Names.

We go over animated armor, swords, and rugs of smothering, talking about standard uses for them, and ways to spice them up. Then we roll up the Couatl, which while not being particularly dangerous in a fight, seems to have a handful of ridiculously powerful magic spells and abilities. Tristan has Radiant Azer, and the effects they and their works can have. Dylan has a group of Anti-Magic Militants, ways that they test for magic, and the implications of them being in the area.

We roll up Displacer Beasts and discover why they're so popularly used in existing adventures and D&D's past. Then we talk about how shockingly nasty Lamias are, the lion centaurs with a half dozen ways to charm you to death. Dylan has a bug that tries to pass in society while burrowing a hole to its swarming nest, and Tristan has a huge monster that steals the party's stuff.

We roll up on Gricks, a weird underdark snake monster that hangs out in a cave and tries to eat you. We then roll onto Unicorns, their abilities, way to use them, and how much the writers of the monster manual seem to love them. Tristan and Dylan both show off some plant hazards they've cooked up.

I swear it's a coincidence, but we got both bird humanoid races during the roll for monster segment. Aarakocra have buckets of random lore that is awesome, and Kenku have a lot of potential for fun moves to drop on the party. We show off our dream monsters. Dylan's is a horrible suction cupped monster that wanders into camp, appearing as an old granny and draining the party of their attributes. Tristan's is the idea of a dream catcher which pulls the party into the far realm, mistakes them for dreams, and tries to eat them.

More things from the underdark with Fomorians and Grimlocks. Turns out these monsters are a little more niche and difficult to implement. Tristan has a set up for a artificial artificer, a robot that has access to some spells and grows in power as the fight progresses. Dylan has a transforming robot that's stats randomly change as the fight progresses.

It's an Underdark Week on Wandering Monster! Turns out Umber Hulks are more than big bugs, and we talk about Piercers and Ropers, two pretty interesting enemies to just sort of throw in caverns. Dylan has a Temporal Knight that you need to move slowly to battle, and Tristan has a Bitter One, a really angry ghost that you need to kill with bees and bee products.

We find a new monster to add to our list of favorites. The Thri-Kreen is surprisingly cool, and we talk about how to use them, their variants, and speculate on possible stories for them. We then talk about how to turn on Iron Man mode in D&D: Will-O-Wisps. Finally, Tristan shares his fever dreams "Whirling Dervish" monster, and Dylan shares his hydra-like race of jellyfish people that grow more powerful as their number of limbs grow.

We have a special guest, Justin, who we've played D&D with for years. We talk about Aboleths, the squidlike race that mastered the world before the arrival of the gods. Then we bring our custom tundra monsters. Justin has an adorable spirit of growth and warmth, Tristan has a big steam vent lizard, Dylan has a horrible rabbit that wants to shatter your sanity, and a big elk with a storm that's hunting you down.

We roll up the classic flame skull monster which is exactly what it sounds like, and then talk about hooked horrors, the weird penguins with fish hooks for arms that live in the underdark. We then share 2 breath weapon monsters, a hideous wallaby with terrible breath and a demon with pure souls rattling around in its head.

The triumphant return of oozes are dictated by the dice, and then we discuss one of D&D's most wandering of monsters. Tristan wants to talk about river monsters, and Dylan's got water doppelgangers he wants to show off.

The dice bring us to Empyreans, the might children of the gods, and then bring us to the terrible lizards, Dinosaurs. Our topic for our monsters are minions. Dylan has brought a moss man to serve bridge trolls, and Tristan has snake men that serve Medusas.

We talk about fungi and myconids from the monster manual, then discuss crystalline and rock oozes.

We roll up yetis and manticores in the monster manual, and then show off our flying monsters. Dylan's brought a tracking imp that debuffs the party and sends a message. Tristan has a elemental tree bird that cripples you with debuffs in the sky.

The die demand we talk about Barlgura and Nelfeshnee. Both are demons from the monster manual, one being a large ape, and the other a weird flabby satyr. Tristan wants to talk about a sand wurm variant, and Dylan wants to enslave his party with scorpion litigation.

We discuss scarecrows in DnD, and then Sphinxes too. Dylan explains his template for destructible parts of constructs, and Tristan wants to talk about a sand warrior enemy.

We randomly land on lycanthropes, but we're not really to keen on their use in DnD. We then use Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes to build our own demon lords.

This is the first episode of our trial podcast where we talk about dnd monsters in the manual and bring our own. The monster we've randomly opened to are Slaad, toad like monsters from chaotic planes with horrible diseases. We also talk about custom smoke vial monsters and freakish gnomes.