Chasing Chocobos

Have you ever wanted to unravel the most legendary weapon? Spoiler alert, it's the nail bat. According to one of us, at least. Head on over to Mount Condor if you get tired of arguing about the superiority/inferiority of a bat with a nail in it. While you're at it, check out what else the Chocobros talked about this week.

Who doesn't love the Gold Saucer? It's just a fun place to hang out. The path there, unfortunately, is less fun. Who doesn't love Cosmo Canyon? Nanaki sure is glad to be there. There's some cool planetarium thing run by a floating old man. Who doesn't love steamed burgers? Jake sure does. Just a few topics covered in this week's episode. Come check out the full episode!

The Chocobros continue their exploration after the disc collapses. In this leg we leave off after the disc collapses, where Midgar fits into the origin of the characters, and Cloud's home town with our homeboy Sephiroth. Come dive in!

It's time for the Big One! Drop into the first five hours of Final Fantasy VII with the Chocobros! As usual, there's a ton of plot up front and the Chocobros get caught up on little things. It starts off as a wild ride and we can't wait for more.

We've arrived at the end of Final Fantasy 6! The Chocobros reflect on their journey, talk about what's next for the pod, and, obviously, ramble on about tangents. Jump into this supersized episode and see for yourself!

The end is near! The Chocobros are taking on Kefka's tower. The quest to find every dragon is put to rest, and we discuss what would happen when all of them were found. Jump in this week and find out about all the tangents that ensue.

The Chocobros have dabbled in the Tower where Kefka resides. Jake is confident he'll have the crown soon enough. Where's Bahamut though? How can one prove their worth to Bahamut? Must one slay all dragons to see the King? Questions to be pondered while listening to this week's Chasing Chocobos.

The Chocobros all took vastly different routes for this week. They decide that the only fair thing to do is to trade their advice, tips, and secrets. Luckily for you, you don't need to trade, you get it all for free! Stop in and see what each of the Chocobros did this week!

Trekking through the new world can get tiresome. Especially when you don't have your party, and airship, or really any direction. The Chocobros try their hardest to navigate through this new world, where Moogles and Yetis are just there. Who is going to strive in this new world? The Chocobros are, that's who. Check out what they're up to in this week's episode.

How many tangents can the Chocobros go on in one episode? A lot. Gavin learns he's afraid of heights and got stuck in the sky. Jake and Zack duke it out to see who is going to be the leader of the pack, and we talk about the best flavors of seltzer water. Dive into this weeks episode for more!

Crab Legs, Ultima Weapons, Lava Dungeons, and more get tackled this week by the Chocobros. There's a lot to go over, get on in here and we'll dive right in!

This weeks episode the Chocobros go to the opera, meet a suave new character, learn more about Kefka and the espers, and also see this game's Cid! Join us this week where we discuss these topics and, like always, get super side tracked about things.

The plot just never slows down in this game! So many things happen, castle fortresses, Terra can fly, Kefka is terrible but is also a great villian. So much happens, and we can barely scratch the surface of it. Come on in, see what happens, hang out, have some coffee, and sit on our Chocobo bean bag chairs.

Things have been hectic and the Chocobros were down a man this week. Instead of moving forward in our journey we decided to use a tent, and tell everyone what's going on, thoughts on the podcast itself, and general things about the us and the podcast.

The party members all decide to break off from each other in order to cover ground. There's a weird octopus thing, Zack is very disappointed in his two brothers, a phantom train, and more! Come see what lies in wait in this week's episode!

The beginning of Final Fantasy 6! The Chocobros have dove headfirst with the first three hours, which are just as story heavy as they always are. Come with us and explore what the first leg of Final Fantasy 6 has to offer!

The Chocobros take a small break from chasing chocobos and decide to go for bigger game. Korben Dallas, a future taxi driver, ex-soldier, and grand-prize winner is in the sights of these master chasers. How will they fair against The Fifth Element?

The Chocobros have all completed their journey. We talk about the end game, look back at all the good times we've had in Final Fantasy V and talk about how awesome our fans are.

Two of the brothers have conquered Exdeath, while one has been stopped by the maw of doom, Twintania. Gogo has been felled, but where does he fall into our family tree? The end approaches for Final Fantasy V, but will the Chocobros all be able to bring down the Void Caller? Also there's a very scary robot down there in the rift.

The Chocobros talk about oracles and how just wrong Gavin was about them. A discussion about old school video games gets sparked and they all give their two cents about it. Also, the mime is terrifying and the brothers must join forces in order to take it down.

Jake has taken gone through the rift, fought Exdeath and a hell mime as Zack is scouring the lands in order to find those pesky seals. What do maiden's kisses look like? Bring your 5 person chicken bucket and find out this week!

After two weeks the Chocobros are back! Zack and Jacob are looking to break those pesky seals while being tripped up traversing the land. Exdeath is blowing up the world, or maybe just taking landmarks and putting them somewhere else.

5.08 - The Chocobo Conservation Project; Or, Perplexed Princesses Painfully Part Party by Chasing Chocobos

Lenna keeps on poisoning herself with Dragongrass, Zack learns about the place that ExDeath was born by the wise wizard turtle. Of course it's haunted. It had to be haunted, right? Jake was very disappointed by the lakes and mountains. Squareenix announced some big stuff at E3 that we discuss, and we're all gosh darn excited about it.

Zack runs from everything, Jacob learns moogle, and Gavin is basically playing a different game at this point. Sandcrawlers plague us, we don't talk nearly enough about the Drink ability, and we get to meet the coolest werewolves around. Also, we don't talk about Game of Thrones in this one.

While Jacob is busy moving Zack and Gavin take to twitter to answer any burning questions listeners have. Questions vary from which music number they like the best to which job class class they would personally prefer to have. Join in this week to see if any questions you might have get answered by the oldest and the youngest brother!

In leg five, the brothers finally encounter Exdeath after meeting Final Fantasy Five's new child prodigy, Krile. After being banished, Galuf and the others chase him down to put an end to him once and for all. The brothers sing, forget the names of iconic characters, and discuss the value of min-maxing your party. WHAT FORTUITOUS TIMING.

Bartz's dad is a d*ck. In this leg, we learn more about the tragic backstories of our intrepid heroes while running around the map and trying to stop Exdeath's return. Adamantoise returns, Archeoavis stops Zack in his tracks, and we get distracted for ten minutes talking about cartoon food. Also, Cheeto undergoes a harrowing ordeal (but he turns out okay).

The brothers make it to the end of the Fire-Powered Ship and face off against the unsurprisingly evil Queen Karnak. Everything blows up and geometry makes no sense. Someone reveals their secret background and some book nerd gets lost in a library. Also this week there's book demons, gravity bombs, and the job market is doing very well.

The brothers band together to fight off barbarians, save a wind drake, and embark to the city of Walse where the Water Crystal awaits. Things go awry, Syldra makes an appearance, and then there is fire. So, so much fire.

The brothers begin Final Fantasy V and are blown away by the game's refreshing tone. Gavin gets off to an early lead (obviously) but his game isn't as pretty. The brothers discuss character identities and how cool pirates are. And how much COOLER Faris' sister-pet leviathan than pirates are. We all want this game to get an HBO series.

The brothers have finally beaten Final Fantasy Four, and their methods and trials are very different. Jacob handily faces down Dark Bahamut while Zack struggles against the Wicked Masks, and Gavin watches on from beyond the shroud of time (again).

And so we beat on, boats against the current, as Zeromus repeatedly, unabashedly, sends us to hell. It's getting near the end of the game and the brothers are starting to, as anyone could have predicted, lose it. Gavin has long beaten the game but Zack and Jacob are just trying to get to his level. Palom (or Parom, it's impossible to tell) maxes out his spells and Zack gets a Very Nice Sword. Gavin tries to support them as best he can.

The brothers debate which characters to take into the final battle as they prepare for a fight they probably should have had hours ago. Jacob makes questionable decisions, Zack sticks tried and true, and Gavin does what everyone expects Gavin to do at this point. The brothers still don’t know the difference between Porom and Palom, but in the end does it really matter?

In this episode we get answers to long-standing questions like "Who's Cecil's dad?" "Will Kain ever come back?" and "Where do Lunarian's come from?" Zack's journey to Mount Ordeal proves fruitless, Gavin journeys to the center of the moon, and Jake reunites with his best bearded friend. As the brothers approach end-game, we discuss what makes Final Fantasy IV so interesting to us.

The brothers discuss the theological implications of Fat Chocobo. Have you heard the good word? WARK. Gavin quests through the Cave of Summons while Zack gets lost talking to Fairies and Jacob explores the Moon. Also, we find old friends (don't we always?) and get betrayed (again). Who let these hummingways in here?

In hours 12-15 of FFIV, the brothers are up early to talk ghosts, tails, demon walls and closing out the bar. Jacob apparently played a different game than the others, but Zack and Gavin continue into the Tower of Babel with Zack's new Boyfriend, a Living Hot Topic. Jacob turns into a frog and Gavin is very awake and present for the entire episode.

"Bahamut will be Cecil's dad, quote me on it." -- Gavin, 2019 Dwarves, Meteors, and Bikini-nados abound as friends are lost and found in the quest for the last crystal. The brothers get significantly lost and confused as the action is non-stop and the creepy dolls are relentless. Also, we talk about Rock-A-Doodle.

In this episode, Cecil's Gang gets betrayed no less than three times, and we never once see it coming (except for when we do). But friends return and action rises as we continue trying to catch up to Golbez in his quest for the crystals. Zack emphasizes the usefulness of Sight, Jacob questions why nobody uses Teleport, and Gavin keeps talking. We also debate whether airships run on clean energy or fossil fuels. Kill the turtle.

In hours 3-6, the brothers describe just how broad, wild, different, and just so, so sad Final Fantasy IV really is. Friends die, best friends are betrayed and Cecil has a career change. Also, two weird twins tag along.

The brothers return from their two-week hiatus to begin Final Fantasy 4! We return to our 2D roots for the story of Cecil, Dark Knight of Baron, and the many, many, many sad things that happen to him. Spoony bards, backstabbing Baigan's, and the coolest Cid you've ever seen.

In the Finale of our Final Fantasy III playthrough, the brothers have (sort of) finally finished the game. It's been a long, winding road. One with Dragons, Headless Horsewomen, and Gutscos. But we've finally (sort of) made it. The brothers weigh the game against the feather of its predecessors, and in the end their verdict is... exactly what you expected.

The brothers are on hour thirty of Final Fantasy III. Gavin has made it to end game and then some. Zack and Jacob are slowly catching up but continuously ramming up against an endgame that refuses to be understood or defeated. The brothers are dying.

Zack approaches endgame, Gavin tries to finish the endgame for the third time, and Jacob fights former friends. All of us begin to lose our minds as we contemplate the futility of Final Fantasy III.

Gavin is stuck in Endgame while Zack and Jacob fight against endlessly dividing and multiplying monsters in the Cave of Shadows. Doga and Unei have abandoned us to flounder in defeat. Darkness will defeat us. Hey, do y'all remember P-O-X?

The brothers discuss what would go into a Land Tortoise Cocktail while piloting an airship underwater. We also don't know what a Lute is, apparently, and Doga speaks a lot of nonsense about nothing. We also get more than a little distracted remembering Bloody Roar 2 as we slowly become a nostalgia podcast.

3.06 - Are You Still Awake?; or, Garuda Guarantees Gruesome Gore by Chasing Chocobos

Zack has fallen behind, but his superior notes ensure his place in the podcast. Jacob and Gavin have both pulled ahead--Jacob at Goldor's doorstep, Gavin far beyond. Zack gets angry about Grease Lightning. Gavin gets angry at Evokers. Jacob is mostly chill, Geomancers are like that. And then the brothers remember Detective Pikachu, and it all kind of falls apart.

Leaving Gutsco behind, Zack and Jacob enter the dungeon Hein has carved out of the Elder Tree. Gavin has news of the surface world, and brings word that Garland is back and doing quite well for himself. The brothers debate whether this game is the worst.

Zack and Jacob are two legs behind Gavin, but they won't be defeated that easily. (Yes they will).The brothers become fascinated with the Four Warriors of Darkness and wonder what that game would look like, and the setting is basically the only good thing we can agree on. Jacob wanders through towns looking for secrets, Gavin captains the helm, and Zack gets a new NPC crush.

The brothers continue their rocky entry into the series' third installment. No one knows how jobs work, all the characters are sad and lost, and this game has no chemistry. The brothers lay out their party comps and bemoan the uselessness of the monk.