Just Can't Even

The hamster, the myth, the legend.... it's Butterball. My sister is joining me to talk about our family's short and ill fated attempt at having a pet. Butterball came in like a wrecking ball and we have not been the same since. Butterball is why I have trust issues!

Turning 18, getting married or buying a house doesn't make you an adult. Caring about the water department and refusing to pay for extra postage makes you an adult and we have neem adulting hard lately. Let's just say those weeknights staying out until 1:00am are long behind us.

The spirit of the holiday season is long gone, but the PTSD remains. From dog diapers and throw up, to sleepless nights and ruined Christmas card photos it certainly was NOT the most wonderful time of the year.

If Santa Paws knows if you've been naughty or nice then that means my dog is getting coal. Listen to hear all about the chaos that was pets with Santa night at the mall! 

You found your soulmate,  had a beautiful wedding and are joining your lives together. Congrats! All that is left to do is to legally change your name. Sounds easy right? Wrong! Between the SSN office, DMV, insurance companies, work and every other little thing your name is attached to you'll be wishing you just stayed single.

Meet Cali Marin, our new little furry bundle of joy. Did I say bundle of joy? I meant wild handful. We got a dog, what could go wrong?!

The honeymoon adventure isn't over just yet. We are off to Italy the land of wine, pasta and car accidents?! The highlight of the trip was actually being allowed on the plane home.  What's just can't even in Italian? Ciao!

Join me on a romantic trip across Europe filled with dehydration, awkward social norms and of course annoying plane passengers. Ahh amor!

Wondering how you can legally be held against your will? May I introduce you to jury duty, where your time isn't valued and your fate is in the hands of your fellow Americans. Send help!

Needy, time consuming, frustrating and inconsiderate. No, I'm not talking about exs. I am talking about the joys of trying to find a job and some very embarrassing interviews I've had that might make you feel better about your own search. Plus some exciting news on why I have been MIA!

When you have money burning a hole in your pocket, but you can't buy anything you want to  dress like an angst ridden teen from 1994  then you are out of luck. Exploring why everything out there is so ugly right now? Let's just blame Insta.

If eating out at restaurants for 2 weeks isn't bad enough I decided to one up myself with multiple trips to Cheesecake Factory. This shopping mall staple is the one night stand of chain dinning. Satisfying yet embarrassing. Send help I'm clearly not well.

Concerts are back! And so are the lines, the sketchy ticket sellers and the annoying concert goers. Talking all about my first concert in 2 years.

Call me Mrs. This podcaster is a married woman and despite best efforts not to be a bridezilla I lost my shit anyway... whoops. At least the food was good.

The Friends reunion was what "Just Can't Even" dreams are made of. A special guest and I are breaking down all things reunion show and asking the question on everyone's mind... why the F was Bieber there?

In honor of bars and clubs opening back up I am going to take you down a trip to memory lane in the mid 2000s where we will reminisce about the nights when I look back I say "I just can't even" with myself.

Is it that hard to deliver to the right address? Apparently the answer is yes! It's bad enough my packages are ending up at my neighbors house, but now they can judge us for all the dumb sh*t we buy too.

Government shambles, schools shambles, healthcare shambles, Super Bowl flawless. Why the hell are we hosting a 25,000 person sporting event during a pandemic in Florida of all places? At least we got to watch an exciting game... oh wait!

Clean up in aisle 1, because we just can't even with abandoned shopping carts and self check out fools. Welcome to the grocery store!

Ahh the workplace tradition of meetings. They start late but never end early, take up all your time and yet nothing gets accomplished. Now let's make it virtual! Everyone better have their cameras on so we can commiserate together about Zoom life.

2020, am I right?! This was the year of questionable masks and even more questionable take out orders. If there was ever a more a appropriate time to just can't even it was 2020.