How do you get comfortable with taking risks? Develop a healthy relationship with uncertainty and regret. My guest today is the outgoing entrepreneur, community builder and podcaster: Angie Lee. She talks about where her fearlessness comes from when it comes to investing time and money into business ventures and ideas. We also chat about the importance of self-awareness for entrepreneurs and authenticity in personal brands. For the podcasters out there, Angie goes on to speak about podcast monetization and how to approach sponsors for your show. Angie Lee is a multi-passionate person with a lot on the go. Turning her ADHD into an advantage, she has been able to channel her energy into several successful business ventures. Angie is an entrepreneur and the host of the personal development podcast, The Angie Lee Show. She is also a product developer, public speaker, blogger, course creator, and more. Self-described as "unemployable", Angie has been creating new and interesting jobs for herself for the past 10 years. In this episode, we'll cover: - Being successful with ADHD - Finding your strengths and focusing on them - How to build courage and take chances - Important aspects to consider when building a community - Being raw and authentic with your audience - Two methods of podcast monetization: product funneling and sponsorship - How to pitch a podcast sponsor - The difference between Audience and Influence SHOW NOTES: https://insidethelionsdenpodcast.com/podcast/episode61
In this episode we speak to the Hip Hop luminary, and Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Inductee Darryl “DMC” McDaniels. Imagine being the b biggest artist in the world. Having all the money, property and prestige and wanting to kill yourself? Darryl talks openly and honestly about the misgivings of success, the level of invisibility he felt, and how Turning to alcohol was his remedy. Darryl opens up about his early childhood and his love of comic books, wanting to be a comic book artist and not in a rap group, and how he overcame his use with the help of a 12 step program and therapy. Serch and Kyle ask about what made him go a different route and his answers will shock you, as much as it will make you happy he chose the life he has today. Today Darryl is focused on his comic book company Darryl Make Comics, and his Sobriety and gives so many other the reasons for choosing sobriety and recovery over active addiction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Corina Taylor is todays guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots podcast. Affectionately known as Auntie Corina she has been for the last 15 from my 15+ years as a licensed family day-care provider. She is an expert at helping Mom Entrepreneurs learn calm, clear, firm, loving parenting hacks using 30 years of experience and education to juggle the needs of their kids and run their business like the boss they are. But this like all great Join Up Dots stories wasn't something that just came to her like magic. This was years of developing, learning and fine tuning her skills and then going even deeper.
Jim Ellermeyer continues his conversation with Dr. Randy Bartlett of City of Bridges High School in Pittsburgh, PA. We discuss isolation and community creating spaces to be themselves and time traveling in your mind as a teenager. Be sure to tune into part 1, 2 and 3 of our conversation with Dr. Randy Bartlett on episodes 310 , 311 and 312 of our show! Are you finding benefit from this show? We appreciate any support with our Patreon page! Pledge as little as $1 a month for extra clips, behind the scenes and more at www.patreon.com/fishingwithoutbait ! Subscribe to our Podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Music, TuneIn or look for it on your favorite Podcatcher!
Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/union-of-the-unwanted?ref_id=22643 ▀▄▀▄▀ THE UNWANTED ▀▄▀▄▀ UOTUW LinkTree: www.TheUnionOfTheUnwanted.com ▀▄▀▄▀ THE UNWANTED: HOSTS ▀▄▀▄▀ Ricky Varandas: The Ripple Effect Podcast Website: www.TheRippleEffectPodcast.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/RvTHEORY6 Rokfin: www.Rokfin.com/RippleEffect Twitter: https://twitter.com/RvTheory6 Charlie Robinson: Macroaggresions Website: http://theoctopusofglobalcontrol.com/ Rokfin: https://www.rokfin.com/Macroaggressions Twitter: @macroaggressio3 Sam Tripoli: Tin Foil Hat Podcast Website: www.SamTripoli.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/fatdragonpro Midnight Mike: The OBDM Show Website: http://obdmpod.com/ Twitter: @obdmpod ▀▄▀▄▀ GUEST HOSTS ▀▄▀▄▀ Grimerica: https://grimerica.ca/ The Cosmic Keys Podcast: https://www.cosmickeyspodcast.com/ Maryam Henein : https://www.honeycolony.com/ : https://simplytransformative.com/ Matthew Raymer: https://contentsafe.co/ Ernie Hancock : http://freedomsphoenix.com Ian William Webster: https://thewillywebstershow.podbean.com/
Turning your passion into a billion-dollar company is exactly what Socrates Rosenfeld did. After spending seven years in the military as a helicopter pilot, Socrates suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and turned to cannabis for healing therapy. He always knew that the plant had healing factors. He then used his eCommerce skills to make purchasing cannabis online a simple process for others too. In turn, his company, Jane Technologies, has supported local cannabis retailers across the nation.
In this podcast series you will discover how your choices and response to God in times of trial and uncertainty can determine whether your crisis is turned into a crown. Crisis comes to everyone. It is a strategy devised by the enemy to keep you from your God-given destiny and often comes moments before the fulfillment of prophetic promise. No one is immune. David was only twelve days from becoming king and receiving the crown prophesied to him by Samuel when he faced the events at Ziklag. The enemy hit him hard in a place and in a way he did not except or anticipate, tuning his world upside down. His decision would be crucial to the outcome. (Excerpt from Turning Crisis into Crowns by Kim M Maas) Warfare | Trial | Faith | Hope | Courage | Identity | Revival | Crown | Crisis Dr Kim Maas Links: Facing Ziklag (Click to Purchase) More episodes: www.charismapodcastnetwork.com Join My Newsletter My Newest Book: The Way of the Kingdom: Seizing the Times for a Great Move of God Email: Hello@kimmaas.com Website: www.kimmaas.com E Courses from Dr Kim Maas: Prophetic Community E Course Four Questions E Course More Resources to Move Forward https://kimmaas.com/resources-2/
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/135/29 In this message, Adrian Rogers explains the grace that covers our guilt, and the glory that waits at the end of our suffering.
Today's solo podcast episode is getting to the core of what we do here at Turning 30 Coaching: real-talk about what happens when we are in our thirties and we start to have feelings of panic and doubt that we aren't where we are supposed to be by this age. So many of us let this panic take over us, but it isn't too late for you to make a change. That's why I have created this episode. To inspire you to reclaim your thirties! In the episode I discuss the two main consequences of this panic and how it leads us to living a life that doesn't feel right on the inside, and often on the outside too. I also talk about what it means to 'Reclaim Your Thirties'. Here's a spoiler: Reclaiming your thirties is what you need to do when we get stuck in these behaviour patterns. Reclaiming your thirties is a method of how to stop comparison, learn how to manage your internal state and start to manifest a life that feels good in your thirties. Reclaiming your thirties is when you finally decide to live a life on your own terms. Tune in to this episode where I am explaining why we need to reclaim our thirties, what that even means and how to join my free live workshops where I am going to be diving into the three step process that I have developed that is going to enable you to turn your thirties around. To sign-up to the live workshop, click here: https://pages.turning30coach.com/workshop
“Geo” Gibson, executive director of OMAC, is on a mission to bring unity back to the community! Today, Geo tells Greg about an upcoming event where the youth of the community will get their voices heard. Turning the focus to finding solutions rather than focusing on the problems, “A Time to Listen” is a free event for people to attend with an open mind and open ears to help bring unity back to the community. Let's engage in healthy relationships and see what doors God opens! “A Time to Listen; Bringing the Unity Back to the Community” is happening on Thursday, October 21st, 5-7 pm at the UK Cornerstone Building (formerly Kennedy‘s Bookstore) located at 401 S. Limestone in Lexington, Kentucky. This event is FREE, but please register by emailing: Ggibson@lexingtonky.gov www.TeamOMAC.com Or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/OperationMakingaChange/ Twitter @GEO_omac Previous Broadcasts with Geo: Before He Was a Mentor (9.4.19) - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-bqf4n-bda5d9 God is Not Done With Me (9.5.19) - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-3xnf6-bda5de Operation Making A Change (9.6.19) - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-9inrm-bda5e5 __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Help us Bring HOPE and Encouragement to Others Texting the word GIVE to 833-713-1591 Website https://www.hopeisheretoday.org/donate Shopping on Amazon, select HOPE is Here as your favorite charity (EIN: 83-0522555) Login through this link > https://smile.amazon.com/ch/83-0522555
On today's episode of The MeidasTouch Podcast, the brothers have on a very special guest who recently announced his candidacy for Lt. Governor of Texas, Matthew Dowd! During the interview, we cover everything from the tangible changes Matthew would pursue if elected to the current problems with Texas' current administration. The conversation shifts gears and the brothers discuss the latest breaking news of the week, including Trump's most recent deposition in NYC, the passing of Colin Powell, Ted Cruz getting DESTROYED by Australia's Chief Minister for the Northern Territory and much more! If you enjoyed today's episode please be sure to rate, review and subscribe. As always, thank YOU for listening! Support our sponsors: HoMedics -- Right now if you go to HoMedics.com/MEIDAS and use promo code MEIDAS, you'll receive a FREE REPLACEMENT FILTER with the purchase of your Air Purifier…up to a $99 value! Wondery -- Listen to new episodes of American History Tellers on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. Nuts.com -- MeidasTouch Podcast listeners get free shipping on your first order at Nuts.com when you text TOUCH to 64-000! Remember to subscribe to ALL the Meidas Media Podcasts: MeidasTouch: https://pod.link/1510240831 Legal AF: https://pod.link/1580828595 Kremlin File: https://pod.link/1575837599 Mea Culpa with Michael Cohen: https://pod.link/1530639447 Zoomed In: https://pod.link/1580828633 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, I chat about:Cosy life updates! Synchronicities, receiving support from the universe!Lessons I wish I knew earlier (that I've learned at the age of 26!)How to view age as a woman in her 20sBusiness tips for success, expansionFriendships, relationships - how to view them, mindset around themA life snapshot of where KW is nowWhat I wish I knew earlier about moneyTips on finding a mentor to help you growJoin FREE Manifestation 101 Masterclass HERE!♡ // Last chance to get your 7 day FREE trial for Manifestation Monthly Membership HERE!♡ // Check out The Abundance Club: Next 2022 Rounds HERE! (Limited spaces available!)♡ // Join The Manifestation Collective HERE!♡ // Spots for Private Mentorship with KW have opened up! Apply HERE! ♡ // Instagram @kimberleywenya♡ // TikTok @kimberleywenya♡ // FREE Manifestation Masterclass (worth $55) HERE!♡ // Subscribe for Manifestation Secrets to your inbox from KW HERE!
In the latest edition of Through The Smoke, we dig into what is going on with the Miami Hurricanes football program and recruiting. InsideTheU's David Lake and Gaby Urrutia break it all down. After re-watching the 45-42 loss to North Carolina, what did we notice that we liked and what we didn't like? What is going on with recruiting right now? Urrutia shares the latest with Miami looking to make a push for some new prospects on the radar. In the second half of the show, we discuss the latest injury news, depth chart changes, and notes from the press conferences leading up to the NC State game. You don't want to miss this podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What exactly is competition? What does it mean to be a team player? How do you know if you're competitive, and can you be competitive with yourself? Words by Winter: Conversations, reflections, and poems about the passages of life. Because it's rough out there, and we have to help each other through.Original theme music for our show is by Dylan Perese. Additional music by Kelly Krebs. Artwork by Mark Garry. Today's poem, "Turning," is by Joe Mills. It comes from his book "This Miraculous Turning" (Press 53) and was read with the poet's kind permission. Words by Winter can be reached at email@example.com.
Inside Carolina's Taylor Vippolis is joined by fellow Carolina Football lettermen Mike Ingersoll and EJ Wilson to talk about everything following UNC's win against Miami. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/135/29 In this message, Adrian Rogers explains the grace that covers our guilt, and the glory that waits at the end of our suffering.
One of the fifty most influential living philosophers, a “self-promoting charlatan” (Brian Leiter), and the orchestrator of an “online orgy of stupidity” (Ray Brassier). In Skirmishes: With Friends, Enemies, and Neutrals (Punctum Books, 2020), Graham Harman responds with flair and wit to some of his best-known critics and fellow travelers. Pulling no punches, Harman gives a masterclass in philosophical argumentation by dissecting, analyzing, and countering their criticism, be it from the Husserlian, Heideggerian, or Derridean corner. At the same time, Skirmishes provides an excellent introduction to the hottest debates in Speculative Realism and Object-Oriented Ontology, a speculative style of philosophy long foreclosed by the biases of mainstream continental thought, but which has turned in recent years into one of the most encompassing philosophies of our time, with a major impact on the arts, humanities, and architecture. Part One considers four prominent books on speculative realism. In dialogue with Tom Sparrow's The End of Phenomenology, Harman expresses agreement with Sparrow's critique while taking issue with Lee Braver's “transgressive realism” as not realist enough. Turning to Steven Shaviro's The Universe of Things, Harman defends his own object-oriented model against Shaviro's brand of process philosophy, while also engaging in side-debate with Levi R. Bryant's distinction between virtual proper being and local manifestations. In the third chapter, on Peter Gratton's Speculative Realism: Problems and Prospects, Harman opposes the author's attempt to use Derridean notions of time and difference against Speculative Realism, in what amounts to his most extensive engagement with Derrida to date. Chapter Four gives us Harman's response to Peter Wolfendale's massive polemic in Object-Oriented Philosophy, which he shows is based on a failed criticism of Harman's reading of Heidegger and a grumpy commitment to rationalist kitsch. Part Two responds to a series of briefer criticisms of object-oriented ontology. When Alberto Toscano accuses Harman and Bruno Latour of “neo-monadological” and anti-scientific thinking, Harman responds that the philosophical factors pushing Leibniz into monadology are still valid today. When Christopher Norris mocks Harman for seeing merit in the occasionalist school, he shows why Norris's middle-of-the-road scientific realism misses the point. In response to Dan Zahavi's contention that phenomenology has little to learn from speculative realism, Harman exposes the holes in Zahavi's reasoning. In a final response, Harman gives a point-by-point answer to Stephen Mulhall's critical foray in the London Review of Books. Amidst these lively debates, Harman sheds new light on what he regards as the central bias of philosophical modernism, which he terms the taxonomical standpoint. It is a book sure to provoke lively controversy among both friends and foes of object-oriented thought. Adam Bobeck is a PhD candidate in Cultural Anthropology at the University of Leipzig. His PhD is entitled “Object-Oriented Azadari: Shi'i Muslim Rituals and Ontology”. For more about his work, see www.adambobeck.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network
In This Episode You Will Learn About: Choosing to be a leader Finding your roots Defining your impact Changing the atmosphere with your presence How to cultivate perseverance Acknowledging the miracles of life Resources: valenciakey.com Instagram: @liavalenciakey | @valenciakeydesign Lia Key is gifting all Earn Your Happy listeners 25% off Valencia Key jewelry and free access to Valencia Key's Five Strategies to Handling Fear on Your Joy Journey to Success. Sign up at this link to receive access to these gifts: valenciakey.com/lori-harder Get three months of free payroll when you visit gusto.com/lori Visit issuu.com/podcast and use promo code “LORI” for 50% off a premium account Visit litepink.com and sign up for the email newsletter for free shopping guides, discounts, and more! Text “PODCAST” to 310-496-8363 to get your questions answered on our Q&A segment or get coached on the show! Show Notes: I'm so excited for the opportunity to interview Lia Valencia Key. She's the incredible founder of Valencia Key Jewelry. Her brand just radiates sunshine and happiness. We talk all about her jewelry line and how she created this business and turned it into the massive success it is today. Question Highlights: How did you create such an impactful and profound brand? Do you consider yourself a creator or an integrator? How did you create a business plan and launch your brand? How do you bring miracles into your life? Guest Bio: “Never leave the house without wearing your sparkling earrings – they will serve as reminders of the light within.” Those are words Lia Valencia Key's mother would always say to her. Lia lost her mother at an early age but those beautiful words never left Lia's heart. Raised in very humble beginnings in a super-impoverished neighborhood of Philadelphia, Lia Valencia Key lived in a homeless shelter with her mother, sister, and brother. Even in such dark times her mom told her, "Your predicament does not determine your destiny." She encouraged Lia to never leave the house without wearing her sparkling earrings because they would serve as reminders of the light within. Lia went on to rise above her challenges by radiating light, obtaining a bachelor's degree in Business, master's degree in Education, a cosmetology instructor's license, becoming a global hair & makeup artist, receiving a United States patent, and then moving onward to create Valencia Key Jewelry: wearable joy that symbolizes that all things are possible. If you can believe it, you can achieve it! Each piece was created to inspire and unlock the bravery and light within. Lia's Valencia Key Jewelry launched on QVC, one of the largest television shopping networks in the world. With the power of believing, Lia went from homelessness to inspiring through jewelry in over 100 million homes. And big dreams continue to come true. Valencia Key Jewelry was recently featured in Oprah Magazine's 2020 Favorite Things issue, Jamie Kern Lima (founder of IT Cosmetics) brought Lia to appear on The Mel Robbins Show and speak on the stage with Brendon Burchard, Ed Mylett, Dean Graziosi, Tony Robbins, and Lia spoke to over 216k attendees at Jamie Kern Lima's Becoming Unstoppable Believe It book launch. Lia reaches back to where she comes from, donating and educating women in homeless shelters about the Keys to Light, and how to rise up out of rough environments. Lia is a living example that all things are possible by rooting yourself in the power of choosing joy and radiating light.
One of the fifty most influential living philosophers, a “self-promoting charlatan” (Brian Leiter), and the orchestrator of an “online orgy of stupidity” (Ray Brassier). In Skirmishes: With Friends, Enemies, and Neutrals (Punctum Books, 2020), Graham Harman responds with flair and wit to some of his best-known critics and fellow travelers. Pulling no punches, Harman gives a masterclass in philosophical argumentation by dissecting, analyzing, and countering their criticism, be it from the Husserlian, Heideggerian, or Derridean corner. At the same time, Skirmishes provides an excellent introduction to the hottest debates in Speculative Realism and Object-Oriented Ontology, a speculative style of philosophy long foreclosed by the biases of mainstream continental thought, but which has turned in recent years into one of the most encompassing philosophies of our time, with a major impact on the arts, humanities, and architecture. Part One considers four prominent books on speculative realism. In dialogue with Tom Sparrow's The End of Phenomenology, Harman expresses agreement with Sparrow's critique while taking issue with Lee Braver's “transgressive realism” as not realist enough. Turning to Steven Shaviro's The Universe of Things, Harman defends his own object-oriented model against Shaviro's brand of process philosophy, while also engaging in side-debate with Levi R. Bryant's distinction between virtual proper being and local manifestations. In the third chapter, on Peter Gratton's Speculative Realism: Problems and Prospects, Harman opposes the author's attempt to use Derridean notions of time and difference against Speculative Realism, in what amounts to his most extensive engagement with Derrida to date. Chapter Four gives us Harman's response to Peter Wolfendale's massive polemic in Object-Oriented Philosophy, which he shows is based on a failed criticism of Harman's reading of Heidegger and a grumpy commitment to rationalist kitsch. Part Two responds to a series of briefer criticisms of object-oriented ontology. When Alberto Toscano accuses Harman and Bruno Latour of “neo-monadological” and anti-scientific thinking, Harman responds that the philosophical factors pushing Leibniz into monadology are still valid today. When Christopher Norris mocks Harman for seeing merit in the occasionalist school, he shows why Norris's middle-of-the-road scientific realism misses the point. In response to Dan Zahavi's contention that phenomenology has little to learn from speculative realism, Harman exposes the holes in Zahavi's reasoning. In a final response, Harman gives a point-by-point answer to Stephen Mulhall's critical foray in the London Review of Books. Amidst these lively debates, Harman sheds new light on what he regards as the central bias of philosophical modernism, which he terms the taxonomical standpoint. It is a book sure to provoke lively controversy among both friends and foes of object-oriented thought. Adam Bobeck is a PhD candidate in Cultural Anthropology at the University of Leipzig. His PhD is entitled “Object-Oriented Azadari: Shi'i Muslim Rituals and Ontology”. For more about his work, see www.adambobeck.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/intellectual-history
Take everything you thought you knew from the old world of property and business, and throw it in the bin... Middle-aged, buttoned-down, conservative, stuffy, and quite frankly, boring. Into the bin you go. Usher in some new thoughts and style... Martial Arts, tattoos, TikTok, online gaming, and some flashy fun toys to enjoy the journey like fast cars and cityscape apartments. Bye bye, Mr Boring. Hello, young entrepreneur, Richard Dickson... ------------ At 25-years-old, Richard has already managed to achieve an amazing level of success. And he has no intention of stopping. Multiple businesses, multiple investment and revenue streams. He has an energy and excitement to conquer more and more landscapes. Vibrant, edgy, and not afraid to have his real authentic self on display, as he makes his way through the world forging his own path. From an early exit from school to a trades background. Turning passing interests into crafted obsessions. Finding mentors and tracing the patterns of success. Launching and tweaking business models. It's a constantly moving crafting of business and lifestyle for him. And carefully layered on top of the fun, the interest, the variety, the tech, and the style, is an undeniable solid focus on service and value. Hear Richard talk about the amazing returns that his business provides for his investors. Listen to Richard speak about the short-term Deal Packaging strategies and the longer-term Land Development projects that he focuses on to deliver value to the market, to clients, and the community. And hear Richard speak about how he's on a mission to share and supply his skills and knowledge onto the wider group of potential young entrepreneurs who are out there ready to forge their own paths if given the right direction and encouragement...
In this episode Ali has a conversation with with web designer, content creator and entrepreneur, Oliur. Known for his polished, minimalist aesthetic online and premium tech blog Ultralix, Oliur has built a following of over 100,000 to which he shares his tips on tech, lifestyle and financial independence. In the episode Oliur talks to Ali about his journey dropping out of school and making $600,000 from Tumblr themes, to the art of dropshipping and the lessons he has learnt from beating cancer. Some topics of conversation: Turning a hobby into a business Finding enjoyment during hard times Getting into Dropshipping Lessons from Cancer Making your own luck And lots more! Connect with Oliur:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/OliurTwitter: https://twitter.com/UltraLinx?s=20 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ultralinx/?hl=enWebsite: https://oliur.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oliur/?originalSubdomain=ukConnect with Ali:Website: https://aliabdaal.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliabdaal/Twitter: https://twitter.com/AliAbdaalYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/aliabdaalFind any resources mentioned on the website: https://aliabdaal.com/podcastSponsored by BrilliantThis episode is kindly supported by Brilliant, the best way to learn maths, science and computer science online. Brilliant focuses on helping you learn through interactive courses that work to develop your intuition and first principles knowledge, rather than just memorising methods and facts. Sign up at https://brilliant.org/deepdive - the first 200 people will receive 20% off the annual premium subscription.Leave a reviewIf you enjoy listening to the podcast, please do leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts - even one line helps! You can also Tweet @AliAbdaal with any feedback, thoughts from the lessons you've learnt from the episodes and we can thank you personally for tuning in
Your host is Bradley Chermside, author of international bestselling Camino de Santiago memoir, The Only Way Is West. Bradley has walked the Camino Frances, Camino Portuguese and the Camino Inglés. Bradley's Camino de Santiago book, The Only Way Is West, is a three time international bestseller in Humorous Essays, Action and Adventure Biographies and Travel Writing in the UK, Canada and Australia. To get your eyes on an ebook, your hands on a paperback, or, your ears around the audiobook version, click here :)
Although the trees and hedgerows here are still holding on to their greens, further afield their transformation into golds and yellows and reds is unmistakable. This time of year never fails to trigger a memory of a young couple I once saw in a park in the middle of England who were entering a world that was turning to gold. Journal entry:“16th October, Saturday7 degrees and the dawn is still an hour away. Flecks of dew on Penny's nose. Not a breath of wind. The still air carries distant sounds closer: The jagged gash of the A46; airliners chasing each other to shiny, antiseptic, unwelcoming terminals and grim-eyed immigration clerks. Closer by, nothing stirs. Silence.7 degrees and the sky is washed with 50 shades of mauve. Clouds, like bruises, swim across an alien sky.The hedges chink with blackbirds' alarms. A solitary raven cronks on big, ragged wings. Crows call back. The pillowy boulders of sheep lying in the tall grass do not move as we pass.Our shadows grow black as the sun climbs. and it is still 7 degrees.” Episode InformationIn this episode I mention the work of the artist Pete Tuffrey. You can see his work, and his painting ‘Gales in Viking' (and his newer painting ‘Lessening' which came out after this recording) by going to his Facebook page or Twitter account. General DetailsIn the intro and the outro, Saint-Saen's The Swan is performed by Karr and Bernstein (1961) and available on CC at archive.org. Two-stroke narrowboat engine recorded by 'James2nd' on the River Weaver, Cheshire. Uploaded to Freesound.org on 23rd June 2018. Creative Commons Licence. Piano interludes composed and performed by Helen Ingram.All other audio recorded on site. ContactFor pictures of Erica and images related to the podcasts or to contact me, follow me on:Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/noswpodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/nighttimeonstillwaters/Twitter: https://twitter.com/NoswPodI would love to hear from you. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
How to rise above the pain and disappointments of life to live the life of your dreams with confidence and ease. Turning Your Baggage Into luggage! Donna is the founder of Vibrant Living International. She is also a Life Mastery Coach, an ordained minister, podcaster, and author. She helps bring accelerated transformation to people across the world. Her passion is to help you reach your full potential. She specializes in helping you turn your baggage into luggage so you can live the life of your dreams using and developing your spiritual intelligence. Donna has been speaking and coaching for over 20 years. 3 top tips for my audience: 1. How to find the gift wrapped in sandpaper 2. Focus creates feelings 3. How to move forward Wait, there is more!!! Have a look at www.mystepstosobriety.com to see which other books and projects I am involved in! And follow me on Instagram, Podcast, Facebook and Linkedin! https://stephanneff.podbean.com/ https://www.facebook.com/stepstosobriety/ https://www.instagram.com/stepstosobriety/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephan-neff-author/
Following a 36-year career as a public-school teacher, Dena is continuing her love for education as a humanitarian educator, running a non-profit organization she founded 18 years ago. The Dream School foundation supports public education in Nigeria with infrastructure and resources to teach and learn. We discuss: Opportunities are often unexpected [02:13] Taking a chance on a career transition [05:18] How to be efficient when working for your mom [08:20] How to do good work in a damaged system [10:46] Feeling like Ben Franklin in Nigeria [12:30] Depth before breadth [16:09] The perseverance to stay where you're needed most [18:27] Walking off into the sunset [19:55] Learn more about Dena at http://www.dreamschoolfoundation.org/ (www.dreamschoolfoundation.org), https://www.facebook.com/nigeriadreamschoolfoundation/ (Facebook) and https://www.instagram.com/dreamschool_foundation/ (Instagram).
After what seems like months, the Agents have finally nearly cleared the first level of the catacombs. But there is one room left, and there's something horrible is behind that door. Roll For Combat, Agents of Edgewatch Podcast is a playthrough of the Pathfinder Adventure Path, Agents of Edgewatch, and the second book, Sixty Feet … Continue reading "Agents of Edgewatch S2|29: Violetta, You're Turning Violet!" The post Agents of Edgewatch S2|29: Violetta, You're Turning Violet! appeared first on Roll For Combat: Paizo's Official Pathfinder & Starfinder Actual Play Podcasts.
Robert Martinez was born in Wyoming on the Wind River Reservation in the small city of Riverton. His lineage is Spanish, Mexican, Scotts Irish, French Canadian, and Northern Arapaho. He graduated Riverton High School at 17 at age 19, he became the Youngest Native American to graduate from Rocky Mountain College of Art & Design at that time. Living among the hard working people of the West and experiencing their issues deeply influences Robert's creations as well as his native heritage. Much of Robert's current work uses the historical imagery, myths and stories of the West and Arapaho Culture combined with modern themes to create images that leave a statement. Using intense vibrant color and contrasting shades of light and dark, he paints and draws striking forms that are confronting and engage the viewer. A strong supporter of Education and of the Arts, Robert devotes time to helping and mentoring emerging artists on his reservation in Wyoming and the western region. He gives back to the community by speaking about art topics, giving workshops, and demonstrates his style to schools, agencies and art groups. Thank you for your time Robert! Check out his website here.
Russell and Oksana are joined by Jahsaudi Perkins to break down A24's Lamb and Urban Legends: Bloody Mary on this special midnight record. Note: Clark has not signed off on / heard this episode. Films: Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005), Lamb (2021), Halloween Kills (2021), The Hills Run Red (2009), Knocking (2021), The Birth of a Nation (1915), Saint Maud (2019), V/H/S/94 (2021), Be My Cat: A Film for Anne (2015), Titane (2021), Paddington (2014), The Sopranos (TV), The Lighthouse (2019), Notorious (1946), The Birds (1963), Cold Skin (2017), Itsy Bitsy (2019), Eraserhead (1977), Swiss Army Man (2016), The Green Knight (2021), Bottle Rocket (1996), Knife in the Water (1962), Scream (1996), Scary Movie (2000), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006), Inside Man (2006), Candyman (2021), Malignant (2021), Butterfly Kisses (2018), Repulsion (1965), The Tenant (1976), Cul-de-sac (1966), Jeepers Creepers (2001), Jeepers Creepers III (2017), The Wanderers (1979), The Grudge (2004), Black Sheep (1996), Tommy Boy (1995), The Turning (2020), Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) Hey, we're on YouTube! Listening on an iPhone? Don't forget to rate us on iTunes! Fill our fe-mailbag by emailing us at Podcast@TheOverlookTheatre.com Reach us on Instagram (@theoverlooktheatre) Facebook (@theoverlookhour) Twitter (@OverlookHour)
One of the newest members of our team has a story to share about how his passion for creating landed him a full-time job, thus changing the entire course of his career!Find Vyyyper here:Vyyyper on YouTubeFollow vidIQ here:https://vidiq.comhttps://twitter.com/vidIQhttps://www.youtube.com/user/vidIQchannelThis episode was hosted by Dan Carson of vidIQ. If you have any questions, please feel free to email email@example.com
Since spooky season has finally arrived, let's dig our claws into the origins of all things Halloween. From costumes to trick-or-treating, why do we celebrate this night in search of our favorite candy? // Follow me on IG: instagram.com/katybellotte // Sources: https://www.bustle.com/articles/190544-why-do-we-dress-up-for-halloween-the-origin-of-this-tradition-is-pretty-interesting https://www.livescience.com/16677-halloween-superstitions-traditions.html https://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-ghouls-and-vs-ghosts/ https://www.cnn.com/style/article/history-of-halloween-costumes/index.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can some people be so blinded by a cult? This episode is full of controversy and mystery. Due to all the death threats this man has received, we had to leave his name anonymous. So, we will utterly name this as the "McDojo" episode. A man passionate about martial arts and helping others did the heroic action of showing the darkest events lived in the martial arts schools, earning the hatred of people who see the world of martial arts as everything right and good in this life. An organization that, according to our guest, does not have a government body. That's why sexual violence, and pedophilia are some of the perversions frequently performed. ABOUT MCDOJO Rob has been training in martial arts for over 24 years and has dedicated the last 9 years of exposing Mcdojos. He Jason the international martial arts team Full Circle for years and ran his own martial arts school for 4 years. He has b been consulting for martial arts businesses for 10 years and he founded McDojoLife 9 years ago. He has earned - 3rd degree Black Belt in Karate - 3rd degree Black Belt in Lissajous-Do - Purple Belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu CONNECT WITH MCDOJO Instagram: @mcdojolife YouTube: McDojoLife WHAT YOU WILL HEAR [5:07] What's a McDojo [7:14] How one organization can ruin the lives of hundreds of people. [11:39] Who are the people most likely to fall into a cult? [13:14] Today's guest background. [17:36] 9 years showing a harsh reality. [21:26] As you navigate hatred, criticism, and threats. [35:23] Turning the public speaking fear into positivism. [39:36 Setting real goals. [42:27] Unintended and unexpected consequences. [46:00] Manipulation and impact [54:31] The process of finding the website content. If you look at the civilized world and think, "no thank you," then you should subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss a single episode! Also, join the UNcivilized community, and connect with me on my website Man UNcivilized.com or Instagram so you can join in on our live recordings, ask questions to guests, and more. Find Traver on Instagram @traverBoehm Get a copy my book, Man UNcivilized Join us on the New Year's Costa Rica Unfolding Retreat Dec. 27th 2021- Jan 3, 2022.
Ezekiel 18:24 says when the righteous man turns away from righteousness and sins, he will die. Does this negate the promise of eternal life? Bob and Shawn discuss how temporal death is what this passage refers to. Plus, what word-study evidence is there that repentance is turning from sin and not a change of mind?
We continue our series on effective presentations. We'll share our top 10 common mistakes people make while presenting and how you can avoid them to give you a better chance of people receiving your message. Topics 00:00 Welcome and introductions 03:17 Presenting in edit mode 06:44 Doing demonstrations poorly 11:25 Turning your back 15:39 Lack of practice 18:58 Reading the slides to the audience 21:22 Lack of confidence and energy 24:07 Turn off notifications 27:23 Mistakes with virtual presentations 29:24 Mistakes with hybrid (in-person and remote) 33:28 Boring PowerPoints 38:04 Starting and ending late 40:55 Contact information 41:23 Outro and outtakes Links Certified Master Architect/Certified Technical Architect programs Contact Julian Mills: firstname.lastname@example.org Check out the other ServiceNow podcasts. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We have come upon the power to turn any pressing dark condition to a healing light We are the subject of all that we have yet to realize We must prepare to shine a light on our dark inner states. We do not realize how they trick us. We are all just passing through states. Alternate Universe Reality Activation get full access to new meditations, new lectures, recordings from the reality con and the 90 day AURA meditation schedulehttps://realityrevolutionlive.com/aura45338118 BUY MY BOOK! https://www.amazon.com/Reality-Revolution-Mind-Blowing-Movement-Hack/dp/154450618X/ Listen my book on audible https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Reality-Revolution-Audiobook/B087LV1R5V Music By Mettaverseinner worldssolsticeinto the omniversenocturnejourney through the multiversefield of onenesslight quotienttravel lightdream flowbloomwhen all else fades ➤ Listen on Soundcloud: http://bit.ly/2KjGlLI ➤ Follow them on Instagram: http://bit.ly/2JW8BU2 ➤ Subscribe to their channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyvj... All My Anthony Norvell Episodes - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... All My Neville Goddard Videos In One Playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... All my videos about Dr. Joseph Murphy - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... For all episodes of the Reality Revolution – https://www.therealityrevolution.com Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/The-Reality-... Join our facebook group The Reality Revolution https://www.facebook.com/groups/52381... Subscribe to my Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOgX... Contact us at email@example.com #love #newearth #higherself #channeling #starseed #imagination #totalhumanoptimization
John Siino & B Detroit are here with another installment of Turning Heels, discussing episode eight and the season finale of Heels, "Double Turn". The culmination of all Jack's efforts finally pays off as the DWL is featured on the biggest stage in its history, but when outside-the-ring drama enters the squared circle, there's a lot more on the line than the championship belt. In this episode, we finally get the big State Fair show as Jack Spade defends the DWL Championship in a triple threat ladder match against his brother Ace Spade and Wild Bill, but it ends in a BIG SWERVE, while at the same time Jack has to battle his family issues as Staci found out about 'the Kleenex Screwjob'. Bill also has a couple issues including trying to convince Crystal on being his newest Bunny Bombshell as well as trying to control his bodily functions in the main event, Rooster gives Gully an idea to sabotage DWL, Ace trying to right his wrongs and much more. Cno & B also talk about this upcoming Friday's war between WWE Smackdown and AEW Rampage, The Octopus vs. The Dragon, what they would want for a Season 2 of Heels, and would could be next for them after Turning Heels. You can now join in our LIVE POST Shows, WatchAlongs and watch us game at Twitch.tv/upNXTPodcast Tuesday: upNXT - NXT Review (Free Show/Twitch) Wednesday: Shot In The Dark w/ John Siino (Free Show) TBA: BDElite - AEW Dynamite Review (Free Show/Twitch) But wait! There's more! On the upNXT Patreon, Braden and Davie do retro NXT reviews, Best Match Ever, Top 5, Reviews from the 6ix, movie reviews, and tons more. This week's schedule: Thursday 14th: Best Match Ever - Casket Match Sunday 17th: Reviews from the 6ix - The Exorcist (1973) Last week included: wasNXT: WWE NXT - June 5th 2013, Reviews from the 6ix: 007 - Spectre (2015) and more! Only $5 for NA tier to access all these shows and everything in back catalogue! Over 350 podcasts! Photo Courtesy: Starz You can also check out video versions of our reviews on YouTube at YouTube.com/upNXT upNXT Theme by: Beta ClubFieldTrip Subscribe: https://www.postwrestling.com/subscribe Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/upNXT YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/upNXT Twitch: https://twitch.tv/upNXTpodcast T-Shirts: https://www.prowrestlingtees.com/upnxt
On today's episode of The Follow Up, Noah asks Eden about what it's like being 7-years-old and how her friendships are evolving. Please leave your thoughts about their chat in the comments on Apple Podcasts. You can also continue the conversation with Noah on Twitter @NoahCoslov. For more episodes of The Follow Up with Noah and Eden, go to https://vokalnow.com/show/the-follow-up, download the Vokal App, watch on Vokal's Roku channel, or subscribe, rate & review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you and enjoy!
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Brady Report - Tuesday October 12, 2021
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Tuesday October 12, 2021
How do you live authentically every day? Today's episode has a very special guest. Uncustomary England is a merriment maker, spreading joy to those around her and teaching others to do the same. Her work goes way beyond what the average person might describe as joy – she teaches others the importance of creating your own authentic reality, and how creating that reality is going to fuel the joy that you can bring to those around you. In this episode, we talk to Uncustomary about her work and learn how merriment making has become a huge part of her life. When creating your own authentic reality, every little detail matters, especially the words you use in your daily life. Uncustomary talks about the energy that certain words bring to the table, and how the casual use of words can be harmful to the value they have in our lives. When we use words in a flighty way, we devalue them for people who find them to be empowering. For example, women inherently are always apologizing for themselves and putting their comfort second to someone else's. So, instead of saying “I'm sorry for being late” say, “Thank you for your patience.” This way, the phrase you speak is. Much more positive and you aren't casually throwing around the word “sorry” when it's not necessary. Uncustomary also touches on the pressure that today's society puts on young people to become entrepreneurs and to build brands and websites. Of course, if this is something you feel aligned to do, by all means, do it. However, it is important to note that not all of your passions have to be turned into a money-making act. Turning everything you love into something that makes money can be toxic and can actually drag you away from that activity, which is something you once loved. It is absolutely vital in life to make time for play that does not involve money making. The word “play” often has a negative connotation for adults – we think of it as being immature or irresponsible and that is totally not true. Any play that you are doing is what comes naturally to you, and you have been good at it since the day you were born. You need this play activity to fuel yourself in other areas of your life. Play is an essential part of life for all humans, no matter how old. You can find Uncustomary at her website, uncustomary.org or on Instagram at @uncustomarylove. Thank you for listening!
Go to deployempathy.com to buy the audiobook private podcast, physical book, or ebook!This episode of Software Social is brought to you by Reform.As a business owner, you need forms all the time for lead capture, user feedback, SaaS onboarding, job applications, early access signups, and many other types of forms.Here's how Reform is different:- Your brand shines through, not Reform's- It's accessible out-of-the-box... And there are no silly design gimmicks, like frustrating customers by only showing one question at a timeJoin indie businesses like Fathom Analytics and SavvyCal and try out Reform.Software Social listeners get 1 month for free by going to reform.app/social and using the promo code "social" on checkout.AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPTMichele Hansen 0:01 Hey, everyone, Michele here. Colleen is at a conference this week. So doing something a little bit different this week and wanted to give you a preview of the audio book podcast for Deploy Empathy. So as I've kind of mentioned on previous episodes, I am releasing the audio book every week as a podcast as I record it. Part of the idea of this was kind of to sort of sort of do like I did with the newsletter with the book and sort of you know, do it and you know, sort of chapters at a at a time. And so I didn't have to spend you know, two weeks recording which is just, I didn't didn't really have two weeks, you know, of full workdays to sort of lock myself in a closet and record it. So this is allowing me to record it as I have time. Which is kind of a challenge as I say this right now, my desk is literally surrounded and pillows from the last time I recorded which was like two weeks ago. So So yeah, it's been it's been kind of an interesting challenge. But I have been enjoying it. And it's also allowed me to get feedback on it as well. This is my first time recording an audio book. So if anything sounds weird, or whatnot, like people can, you know, give me feedback, and I get a chance to re record as I go. So, so yeah, so it started in I want to say the end of August. And currently, it's on Part Six, which is the how to talk so people will talk section of the book, which is maybe my favorite section of the book. I admit I was a little bit nervous going into recording these chapters because the tone of voice is so important. And I wanted to make sure that I got that right. And I think I got a little bit in my head about that. But I think it I think it came out Okay, so I think I think I'm happy with it. But so yeah, so So this week you're gonna get a chance to preview the the the private podcast, there are still spots in it if you want to join so it's limited to 500 people and right now I think there's about a little under 200 so there's quite a few spots left if you wanted to, to join along, but also you know what, once the full thing is recorded, which I don't really I guess it'll be sort of end of the year early next year. You know, it'll also be available as a regular audio book not quite sure what I'm going to do with the podcast I'm actually kind of curious to hear if people want that to stick around or whatnot. I don't I wonder if it makes it more digestible to get through but maybe that value is on the you know that it's coming out every week, right now. So yeah, hope you enjoy and Colleen and I will be next back next week.Part Six, how to talk So people will talk. This is the most important part of this book. The tactics you'll learn build toward one goal, creating a bubble of suspended judgment, where the person feels comfortable being open. Throughout this part, you'll also find ways to practice these skills before using them in customer conversations. We'll go into each of these in depth one, use a gentle tone of voice to validate them. Three, leave pauses for them to fill for, mirror and summarize their words. Five, don't interrupt, six, use simple wording. Seven asked for clarification, even when you don't need it. Eight. Don't explain anything. Nine. Don't negate them in any way. And let them be the expert. Love it. Use their words and pronunciation 12 asked about time and money already spent. Lastly, you'll learn how to pull it all together by picturing yourself as a rubber duck. Trust me, it'll take you some time and some practice. But I think you'll notice a difference even in your personal life. By using these phrases and tactics. I want you to make me a promise, you'll only use what I'm about to teach you for good, you won't be manipulative, and you won't use what people say against them. deploying the tactics in this chapter can make someone open up to you much more than they otherwise would. Someone's confidence is a sacred gift. And it should be handled gently, respectfully and ethically. That respect should continue after the interview to I expect you to carry through the empathy you build for the customer well beyond the interview, and use empathy as part of your decision making process. Before we get into the tactics and phrases, it's important to understand just how much these tactics can transform a conversation. I got my start doing proper customer interviews in the personal finance industry. In America, people are generally very private about their personal finance decisions and situations. It's an extremely delicate topic. And because of this, I had to learn interviewing in a rigorous way. I didn't realize how much the techniques outlined in this chapter had woven themselves into my everyday conversation habits until I was at the grocery store a few years ago, I was in line with a dozen items and notice that the cashier hugged the woman in front of me, and they interacted with one another in a heartfelt way. I must have just finished an interview because I found myself asking the cashier about it. me with a smile. Oh, I noticed you hugged her. Is that your sister? cashier? No, she's just a longtime customer. I've worked here for a long time. me. Oh, you have? cashier? Yeah, almost 20 years. I'm due to retire soon. Companies changed a lot in that time. me. Oh hasn't. cashier proceeds to tell me about how the store chain was bought out by another chain 10 years ago, how they changed the retirement plan how she's worried about having enough income from Social Security, her 401k her old pension and retirement and how she's making extra 401k contributions. This was all in the span of less than five minutes. As she rang up the dozen or so items I had in my basket. It's important to note that this cashier wasn't just a particularly chatty person. This was my local grocery store. And I had been there a few times per week. For several years at this point. I'd been in this woman's line many many times. And we had never had more than a simple polite conversation about the weather, or how busy the store was that day. I went home and told a former co worker about it and joked Do I have Tell me about your retirement planning written on my forehead. I was amazed that a stranger had told me that kind of information in such a short amount of time. My former co worker pointed out that it was a sign of just how much interview skills had worked themselves into my everyday conversation style. And how I become so much more effective at digging into the heart of an issue without too much effort. For someone who's only negative mark in their first professional performance review was that I was abrasive and was diagnosed with a DD it'll 11 years old, it came as quite a shock to realize I now had an active listening conversation style without even realizing it. That experience taught me how we need to be careful with these skills, and to know when to hit the brakes. It's a person's decision what to reveal. But I always keep that story in mind and remind myself to back off or shift topics. When it seems like someone is on the verge of saying too much. It's possible to make someone too comfortable and safe. It's always okay to say thank you for telling me that I was wondering if we could go back to something you said earlier. I'm curious about something else. It also reminded me of how so many people don't have people in their lives who will just listen to them. Especially about things that are processes or tasks they complete daily or goals that are top of mind. The cashier at the grocery store clearly spent a lot of time thinking and worrying about the different sources of Income she'd have in retirement and whether they would be enough, but maybe didn't have anyone who would listen to her talk about that. I find that once you build trust with someone and show them that you're willing to listen, they will talk. Because no one has ever cared about that part of their daily life before. Maybe they grew up to a co worker about how long something takes, but they've probably never sat down and had someone genuinely ask them what they think about creating server uptime reports or following up on invoices, they've probably never really talked through where they spend a lot of time the tools they use, and so forth. They've probably never had anyone care enough to try to make it better for them. Just being a presence who's willing to listen is more powerful than people realize how customer interviews differ from other kinds of interviews. If you're already familiar with other kinds of interviewing, it might be interesting for you to read with an eye for how this kind of interviewing differs, journalistic interviewing, motivational interviewing and a negotiation based interview all bears similarities to user interviewing, yet they also have significant differences. The first professional interview I ever did was the summer I was interning at the Washington bureau of a British newspaper. the BP oil spill had happened a few months earlier. And my boss asked me to interview someone thinking back that was a very different interview from the customer interviews I started doing years later, in that BP oil spill interview, I was digging for information and I was looking for specific quotes that could be used in an article I already knew about the oil spill, so I wasn't looking to learn their perspective on it. Instead, I needed them to say specific things and say them in a quotable way. Customer interviews by contrast, are all about diving into how the other person perceives an experience and intentionally suspending the desire to validate your own ideas. Later, after the interview has finished, you can analyze the interview and see what opportunities might exist. We'll talk about that more in Part Eight analyzing interviews. Chapter 25 use a gentle tone of voice.In Chris Voss, his book never split the difference. He suggests using a late night DJ voice in negotiations. You're listening to wb mt 88.3 FM therapists will often speak in soft slow voices as a method of CO regulation to calm their patients. These techniques help put the other person at ease and create an environment where they feel safe. These techniques apply when you're talking to customers to a customer interviews should be conducted in the most harmless voice you can possibly muster. Imagine you're asking a treasured older family member about a photo of themselves as a young person. There might be a gentle, friendly tone of voice, a softness to your tone, genuine judgment free curiosity. Or perhaps picture that a close friend has come to you experiencing a personal crisis in the middle of the night. You would listen to them calmly and just try to figure out what was going on. You probably wouldn't start offering ideas or solutions to their problem and would focus on helping them get back to a clear state of mind. use that same gentleness in your customer interviews. It's important to note though, that you cannot be condescending. I purposefully do not say to speak to them like you would a child because people have very different ways of talking to children. Think of your customer as someone you respect and you can learn from because you should and you can. Why did you do it that way set in a medium volume voice with emphasis on certain words could make it sound accusatory and put them on the defensive versus will lead you to do it like that. And a gentle, unassuming, curious voice will help them open up. Try this now. The next time a friend or family member comes to you with a problem. Intentionally use the gentlest voice you can muster when you talk to them. The next time use your normal approach. Notice whether the person reacts differently. Chapter 26 validate them. books on product development often talk about validation, validating ideas, validating prototypes, validating business models.This chapter is about an entirely different kind of validation. It's a pivotal part of getting someone to open up to you. This chapter is about what psychologists and therapists describe as validating statements. These are specific phrases you can use to show someone that you're engaged with what they're saying. It's okay to have trepidation about what you would say in an interview, and how you would come up with follow up questions. Yet most of what you say during an interview aren't questions at all. Instead, you use validating statement It's that shows someone you're open to what they're saying and are listening. Your goal is for them to talk as much as possible. And you as little aim for the interviewee to do 90% of the talking in the interview. In a customer interview, you use validation, even when you don't necessarily agree with what they say. Or even if what they say sounds absurd to you. It does not mean that you agree with them. It is instead a way of recognizing that what they think and do is valid from their perspective. You cannot break that bubble of trust ever, even when something wacky cans, which I can. In a memorable interview years ago, the interviewee suddenly said, Sorry, I'm eating a case of beer right now, about 45 minutes into the phone call. Mind you, this person had given zero previous indications that they were eating. My research partner, the unflappable research expert, Dr. Helen fake, just rolled with it and said, Oh, you're fine. Notice what she said there. She didn't say no worries or not a problem or don't worry about it, all of which either hinge on negating a negative word, worries problem, and thus leave the negative word in the person's mind. Or invalidating instead told him he was fine. Not, that's fine, which is abstract. But explicitly putting the interviewee as the subject. And that saying that he is fine, which validated his state as a person. It was subtle yet next level of conversational jujitsu that will start to come naturally to you, the more you practice this, you also cannot say that you agree with them, or congratulate them, or do anything that implies that you have an opinion. Even if it's a positive opinion, this is probably one of the strangest parts of how to make an interview flow. And for many people, it runs counter to their built in instincts to be positive and encouraging. The person you're interviewing may ask you if you agree, and you need to purposely find a way to make that question go away. I can see where you're coming from on that. Can you tell me rather than Yeah, I agree. agreeing or disagreeing will remind them that you're a human being with opinions and judgments, and the trust will start to melt away, you almost want them to forget that you're a person. For example, when I was interviewing people about their finances, they would admit to doing things that a financial planner or portfolio manager would never endorse, even though we knew that we couldn't correct them. We also couldn't agree with them, either. We were searching for their internal logic and thought processes. And if we were introduced outside information, or agree or disagree with them, they would have shifted into trying to impress us and holding back information, examples of validating statements. That makes sense. I can see why you would do it that way. I'm interested to hear more about how you came to doing it that way. Would you be able to walk me through the context behind that? I can see what you're saying. It sounds like that's frustrating. That sounds like that's time consuming. It sounds like that's challenging. Sounds like you think that could be improved? Can you help me understand What went through your mind? When? Can you tell me more about? It makes sense. You think that? It makes sense? You do it that way? Sounds like there are several steps involved. I'm curious, can you walk me through them? Sounds like a lot goes into that.When using validating phrases, I encourage you to use the word think instead of feel. Some people I've noticed will find it insulting to say that they feel a certain way. But think is interpreted as more neutral and factual. For example, you feel the process is complicated. Versus you think the process is complicated, or better. The process is complicated. And remember, most people like to think their job is challenging. years ago, I heard someone talk about their recent move to LA. their spouse was in the entertainment industry and this person was not. And they kept finding themselves struggling to make conversation at cocktail parties. But eventually they learned a trick. Whenever someone said what they did, they replied with that sounds challenging. Even if the person's job sounded easy or boring. People would open up because it felt like a compliment. And it would lead to an interesting conversation about the things that person did at work. What that person found was that encouraging someone to keep talking requires Turning the conversation back over to them. Rather than offering your own ideas. Try this now. The next time a friend or family member shares a problem with you and does not explicitly ask you for advice, say that makes sense or another one of the validating statements mentioned previously, rather than offering a solution. Sometimes people say I just don't know what to do, which sounds like an invitation to offer a solution but may not be. If that happens, ask them about what they've already tried. Chapter 27 leave pauses for them to fill. Several years ago, I was sitting in the audience at the DC tech meetup. I was there to support a friend who was giving a presentation. And something one of the panelists said stuck with me and it's something I remind myself about during every customer interview. Radio producer melody Kramer was asked what she had learned while working for Terry Gross host of the long running NPR interview show fresh air. She said that Terry Gross his interview strategy is to ask a question and then to wait and wait and wait at least three long beats until it is uncomfortable. Quote, the other person will fill the silence and what they fill it with will often be the most interesting part of the interview. I remember Cramer quoting gross as saying this tactic of saying something and then waiting at least three beats for the other person to fill it is something that I use in every single interview often multiple times. The length of what feels like a long pause varies from person to person. The research of linguist Dr. Deborah Tannen, shows that people from different American regions tend to have different conversation styles. A coordinator her research, people from the northeastern us may talk over one another to show engagement. While California and may wait for a pause to jump in. People from different continents can have different conversation styles to people from East Asia may wait for an even longer pause and could interpret what seems like a suitable pause to the California as an interruption. A three beat pause may seem long disarm and normal to others. I encourage you to experiment with us and add an extra two to three beats on top of whatever is normal for you. In addition to pauses, I also encourage you to notice whether you provide prompts and additional questions. What do you do if the other person doesn't respond right away? Imagine you're trying to figure out what kind of delivery to order for dinner with a friend or spouse. Do you say Where should we order takeout from and let it hang? Perhaps you had possible answers like where should we order takeout from? Should we get pizza? Chinese sushi? One of the ways people make a typical conversation flow is by adding these sorts of little prompting words, when someone doesn't reply immediately. Maybe the prompting is an offering answers like above. And it's just a rephrase without offering an answer like where should we order takeout from? Do you wanna? while adding gesticulation. In an interview, you need to avoid prompting as best as you can, lest you influence the person's answer. When you ask a question, you need to let it hang and let the customer fill the silence. So can you tell me why you even needed a product like your product in the first place? And wait?Don't prompt. If they don't reply right away? Don't say was it for use case one, or maybe use case two? Just wait. I know how hard this is. In fact, there's a point in the example customer interview where I slipped up and prompted cool was there, or is there anything else? Did you have any other questions or?Drew 24:10 No, I think that's everything I have.Michele Hansen 24:14 Now, sometimes it might get truly awkward. The person you're interviewing may not respond. If they say, Are you still there? You can gently bring the conversation back to focus on them and say something that elevates what they've already said like, Yeah, I was just giving you a moment to think. Oh, I was just jotting down what you just said that seemed important. And then rephrase what you'd like them to expand on. Yes, I'm still here. Do you want to come back to that later? Oh, we just sounded like you're about to say something. If anything too long pauses and the interviewers phrases the follow, make the customer feel even more important and reinforce that they are in the dominant role in this conference. It puts them in the role of teacher which marketing psychology expert Dr. Robert Steele, Dini, has identified as a powerful way of influencing another person's behavior. You want them to teach you about their view of the process. And this sort of almost differential treatment through pauses, helps elevate them into that teaching position. To get the answers you need about the customers process, you need to create a safe judgment free environment, you need to hand the stage entirely over to the customer, and talk as little as possible. And leaving silences without prompting is one of the ways you can do that. Try this now. The next time you're having an everyday conversation, not a tense conversation, not appointed conversation. Notice whether you ask a question and wait. Chapter 28 mirror and summarize their words. I have a friend who used that a parrot named Steve. I remember listening amused as he told me about the conversations he had with Steve. This was years before I learned about active listening. And now it makes more sense to me why parrots are great conversationalist, even though their vocabulary is limited. What parents do is repeat words back at people and repeating words back at someone and rephrasing what they've said, as the magical power of encouraging them to elaborate. It's a tactic that therapists and negotiators use all the time. CHAPTER TWO OF never split the difference by Chris Voss is a deep dive on mirroring. And you can also learn about it and nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Consider this excerpt from the example interview, I wasn'tDrew 26:44 really seriously considering anything that had a paywall on it was I wasn't sure that it would ever pay itself back off. I knew there were other options out there that would either require moving our storage and our database altogether, which didn't really seem appealing, or having two different services, one to manage each. But then the storage still being just as complicated only somewhere else.Michele Hansen 27:07 It sounds like you had a lot of things you were trying to like wave back and forth about whether you should sort of try to plunge forward with this thing that was already being very frustrating. Or then all of the the negative effects of switching and all the complications that that would introduce.Drew 27:23 I really didn't want to spend a whole lot of time investing, you know, building up a new infrastructure for a new product for new servers to handle this one thing that I think the most frustrating part was that it worked in now it doesn't.Michele Hansen 27:36 You'll notice there aren't any question marks and what I said as a follow up. I rephrased what he said as a statement, which then prompted him to expand on it. This is a combination of two conversation tactics, mirroring and summarizing, mirroring is repeating what someone has said. And summarizing is when you rephrase what they have said, and sometimes label their feelings, you can hear another example of mirroring in the sample interview, he describes himself running into a lot of walls, jumping through a lot of hoops. And that phrasing is mirrored back for elaboration.Drew 28:10 And Firebase Storage just did not work as easily. As it was we found ourselves running into a lot of walls, jumping through a lot of hoops just to make the simplest things work.Michele Hansen 28:22 Can you tell me a little bit more about those hoops and walls that you ran into? negotiation expert Chris Voss notes that it's important to say it rather than I, when summarizing, it sounds like is more neutral, then I'm hearing that since in the second one, you're centering yourself as the subject, but the first phrase centers the situation. For example, if your spouse or roommate comes home seeming frazzled, man, what a day, I had, like 10 calls today. You mirroring. You had 10 calls today. The other person? Yeah, and then my last one didn't even show up and I'd had to cut the previous call short to make it. If I'd known they weren't going to show up. I could have gotten this thing sorted out and then I wouldn't have to work tonight. You summarizing and labeling. Sounds like you had a lot of calls today. And because someone didn't show up, you're feeling frustrated that you have to finish your work tonight. Notice that none of these follow ups or questions? Oh, are you talking to new clients? The clarifications are simple restatements of what the person has said without added editorial zation of the events. Try this now. When a friend or family member says something to you about their day, try stating back at them what they've said. Then try summarizing what they've said as a statement. Sometimes a gentle upward tone implies interest more depending on the person
Who owns the Go to Market strategy, and why is the correct answer marketing? Before you get into the octagon to fight this out, it's important to look at revenue and the go to market strategy through a different lens. Which is exactly why our guest on this episode of the B2B Revenue Executive Experience was such a huge get. Christina del Villar is the author of Sway: Implement the G.R.I.T. Marketing Method to Gain Influence and Drive Corporate Strategy, and in this episode, she dropped so many knowledge bombs on us. Among the things we talked about: - The G.R.I.T. marketing method - Getting rid of the grey areas of dollar attribution - Turning marketing into a revenue knowledge center - Why marketing should own the Go to Market strategy Now that you know how to employ buyer-first principles, are you ready to take a deeper dive into the role data should play in your organization, or learn all about sales enablement 3.0? Check out the full list of episodes: The B2B Revenue Executive Experience.
Christina Vitagliano shares her story from enduring child abuse to going on to start a multimillion-dollar business and publishing her own memoir. She breaks down the ripple effects that child abuse had on her life and why some of the effects of child abuse hit much so much harder in adulthood. Support the Podcast Light After Trauma website Christina's Website Transcript: Alyssa Scolari [00:23]: Hey, warriors. Welcome back to another episode of Light After Trauma. I'm your host, Alyssa Scolari, and we have with us today, Christina Vitagliano. Now, Christina is an author, entrepreneur and the founder of a successful family entertainment concept, Monster Mini Golf. Having spent three decades working on her memoir, Christina hopes to share her story and touch the hearts of readers with her account of childhood abuse, empowering survivors to reclaim their lives and learn to thrive, despite their trauma. Her passion is to provide affordable, fun entertainment that the whole family can enjoy. Monster Mini Golf is a multi-million dollar company with 30 locations across the USA and Canada. Without any further ado, I would love to introduce our guest today. We're going to be talking about childhood trauma with Christina. Welcome, Christina, how are you today? Christina Vitagliano [01:31]: I am good. How are you? Alyssa Scolari [01:33]: I am good. Really happy just to update the listeners. I just learned that while Christina is currently in Vegas, she's originally from the New England area, which I love. As all the listeners know, I'm a Jersey girl through and through, even though I live in PA now. Christina's accent feels like a warm cup of tea for me. Thank you for being here. I'm really happy to have you on the show. Christina Vitagliano [02:02]: Oh, thank you for inviting me. Alyssa Scolari [02:04]: Yeah, of course. You're spreading awareness about, I think, one of the most taboo topics in the field, people really shy away from talking about child abuse. Christina Vitagliano [02:19]: They do. Alyssa Scolari [02:21]: You are doing anything but shying away from that. Christina Vitagliano [02:26]: Took me a while, but yes. Alyssa Scolari [02:28]: I think that's important to point out, right? That it doesn't happen overnight for sure. Christina Vitagliano [02:33]: No. Alyssa Scolari [02:35]: I guess let's start with take me back to how you even became somebody who spreads awareness on childhood abuse. What is your story? Where did you come from? How did you get to where you are today? Christina Vitagliano [02:53]: Well, a quick overview. It started when I was about four years old and it lasted until I left home, which was around 16/17 years old. Actually I didn't move out until I was 18, but it was that whole period. Alyssa Scolari [03:06]: That was the whole period that you ... So you started being abused around the age of four? Christina Vitagliano [03:06]: Yep. Alyssa Scolari [03:06]: Okay. Christina Vitagliano [03:11]: Then I left home around 18 or when I legally could, I was out the door. Then I didn't tell anybody. I didn't talk about it. I didn't do anything. I'm sorry. That's my doorbell. Until I decided to sit down and write about it, which was about 20 something years ago. I sat down and just put it all on paper and then I sat on that for the last 20 years, and then finally published my memoir this year. Alyssa Scolari [03:42]: Wow. Christina Vitagliano [03:43]: Yeah. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [03:45]: Okay. You escaped your abusive environment. Now, when you were in your abusive environment, did you know at the time that that was abuse? When did you make that connection like, "Oh, this is what's happening here." Christina Vitagliano [03:58]: Well, God, at four years old I try to ... I remember ... I have a very, very good memory on some things, but I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch yesterday, but- Alyssa Scolari [04:06]: Same here. Christina Vitagliano [04:06]: ... I do. I have such vivid ... That's a curse and a blessing at times, but very vivid memories. I remember being that young, knowing that what was happening wasn't right. I didn't know why it wasn't right. I didn't know ... Because you're four. I mean, you only know so much, but whatever it was, was wrong. On the flip side, I didn't want to mess up our family. My mom ... This was my stepdad and they had just gotten married. My big thing was, "Don't make mom unhappy because she was so unhappy before and now this man makes her happy and I don't want to mess things up." You know? That's how it started. I think once you start down that path, and I don't know why, you just continue down that path of, "I am going to handle this myself. I'm not going to mess things up for anybody." I was terrified that I would get taken away from the family and thrown into an orphanage, which to me was worse than what I was dealing with. Kind of short version of that whole story. Alyssa Scolari [05:16]: You're speaking such universal feelings and thoughts that children have, which is children have this concept that the devil you know ... And even adults, right? Christina Vitagliano [05:16]: Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [05:28]: The devil you know is better than the one that you don't. I think so many children endure what they need to endure for the sake of keeping the family together and not risking being pulled away from their family. Christina Vitagliano [05:48]: Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think as a child, it's instinctive that you want to make your mom or your dad, whoever it is you're bonded to, or even if it's both of them, instinctively your job is to make sure that you do what you're supposed to do and make them happy because that makes you happy. I don't know. I mean, it's a vicious circle, but that's not true. You shouldn't do some things just to make other people happy. It took me 30 years to figure that out. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [06:21]: Yeah. Honestly, it takes some of us so much longer because that's what we think. You're right. It's, "I want to make this person happy. I see how happy my mom is. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news. I don't want to stir the pot." It's so difficult. How did you get ... Was it just that with age you began to change and then when you became a teenager, you were like, "I got to get out of here." Christina Vitagliano [06:49]: No. A couple of things. Like you said, you know it was wrong. I did know it was wrong at a very young age, and as you get older, boy, do you learn it's more wrong. I mean, so now this ridiculous thing of, "Wow, I'm going to protect everybody else." The wrong part gets so hard and as you get older, much harder because you learn more, but you keep dealing with it. Then when I met my now husband, he was the first one that I ever told and he's the first one that ever approached me and said, "Hey, what's wrong with you?" I mean, short version, you know? Alyssa Scolari [07:25]: Right. Christina Vitagliano [07:25]: Hey, what the hell's wrong with you? He just did it in such a blunt way. We were young. We had been dating for maybe, I don't know, weeks. I had been previously married and divorced. Didn't tell him, didn't tell anybody I'd ever dated. Now I was about 30 years old, so I don't know if it was him in my face being so blunt and the only one who said, "What the hell happened to you?" Or if it was a combination of that and at 30 years old, you kind of ... I don't know what it is. You hit these milestones in life. 30 is one of them though. You say, "What am I doing with my life?" You think you're an adult and you're not an adult at 30 because that's bullshit. I don't even know if I'm an adult at my age and I'm in my 50s. It's just, you start to question yourself as to what you think you know and, "Hey, maybe it's time I stand up and stop doing what I've been doing to myself." You're abusing yourself really for so many years. I listened to one of your podcasts where you went through your relationship and I was like, "Dear God, how many of us have been down that same exact path with the same exact reasoning within ourselves?" Then one day you wake up and say, "Holy cow, I'm a dummy." In a good way though, it's a good thing to say because you realize you don't need to be that dummy all the time, you know? Alyssa Scolari [08:50]: Right. It's not like I'm a dummy in a disparaging- Christina Vitagliano [08:55]: No. Alyssa Scolari [08:55]: ... a self-disparaging way. It's almost like you wake up one day and the pieces fall together and you're like, "Oh, God." Christina Vitagliano [09:04]: Where was I, man? I know. Alyssa Scolari [09:07]: Right. I feel so disconnected from the person that I was when I was in it and in those bad relationships. You also realize that the bad relationships that you then continue to have in your teens and 20s are because you didn't really know any better. Christina Vitagliano [09:28]: Yeah. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [09:29]: [crosstalk 00:09:29]. Christina Vitagliano [09:29]: Or you've conditioned yourself to be who you are and it's instinctive, "Well, I'm going to make this person happy. I don't want to upset the applecart." I do that to this day. I still do that. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [09:42]: Oh, yes. The chronic people-pleasing and not wanting to upset anybody. There are people ... I say this all the time, especially with, oh, one of my clients in particular where we talk about the red flags and how all the red flags look green. Even the red flags that are so bad, they're on fire we choose to look past. Christina Vitagliano [10:03]: Yep. It's almost you'll do anything to avoid turmoil. I don't even know why that is, but it is a common thing like, "Oh, geez, I don't want to make anything bad." You know? I don't know. Alyssa Scolari [10:14]: Yeah. I think it's because we're taught when we're so young that other people's feelings matter more than our trauma and what happens to us. That's the narrative that we carry around, that it doesn't matter. Yes. I'm unhappy and yes, maybe this person is hurting me, but this person is giving me love, some sort of love. Even if it's not what I really truly need or want, it's something and something is better than nothing. At the end of the day, my partner's feelings matter more than mine so I stay. Christina Vitagliano [10:50]: I remember. I went through a similar relationship that you spoke of in one of your podcasts and I thought to myself, "Oh, you can relate to every single word that you were saying." Then you wake up one day and say, "Hey, I know this sucks. I know I'm in a bad relationship. I know that he's really f'ing with me. You know what I mean? But I'm afraid to live alone. I'm terrified to be on my own. What would I do by myself?" Then one day you wake up and say, "I don't care what I do by myself." I remember saying to myself, "If I sit in a room and I'm stuck watching TV for 12 hours a day because I have nothing else to do, I don't have any friends anymore because he's alienated everybody, then that's okay with me." As soon as you decide that whatever it is, is okay, and is better than what you were dealing with, the door opens. Then you're just like, "Well, this is all good." You realize everything you thought was complete bullshit." Because it's not that bad out there by yourself. You know? Alyssa Scolari [11:52]: Yeah. Eventually you'll get to a point ... Well, I shouldn't say everybody because some people spend their whole lives in- Christina Vitagliano [12:00]: Oh, you're right. Alyssa Scolari [12:01]: ... one toxic relationship to the next, which breaks my heart and is part of the reason why we sit here and talk about this. It's just about awareness. Yeah. I think some people do get to a point where the pain of being in the situation is greater than the pain that it would take to change. That's when change comes. I guess I'm wondering for you, what do you think got you to a point where you were like, "Okay. I'm going to sit down and I'm going to write all of this out." Because you said this was what? Like 20 years ago that you wrote all this down? Christina Vitagliano [12:37]: Yeah. I don't know because once my ... It wasn't my husband then, but once he asked me, "Hey, what happened to you?" When I answered that, you've held that in for that long. Now all of a sudden it's raw and it's in your face and he's the kind of guy that just asked and asked and asked. He won't stop asking. Alyssa Scolari [12:57]: He doesn't let it go. Christina Vitagliano [12:58]: He doesn't let it go, and I'm the person, and on the flip side, I'm still the people-pleaser so I answered all of those questions that I probably didn't want to answer at the time, but I did, which is a good thing I think in the long run because it was ... But once it was all out there, I was like, "Wow." As I'm talking about it, I'm teaching myself, "Wow. There's a lot of things I should have done differently and I don't want anyone else to have to deal with any of this. If you could help anybody at that point, you're like, "Holy cow, nobody should have to deal with some of this." I started to put it down on paper and I said, "I'm going to start from the beginning." And I just kept going. My husband, he teases me. He said, "For six months, all I saw was the back of your head on the computer." Because it's all I was doing, was writing, writing, writing. Then when I got done, I was like, "All right, now I want to publish this." Now, of course knew nothing about publishing, and 20 something years ago, self-publishing didn't really exist like it does now. I learned, "Holy cow, I have to have this professionally edited." Then I learned that cost about $5,000 plus at the time. I didn't have any money. Then that was the next hurdle. How do you get from this raw bunch of words to it being fine-tuned and ready to go to a publisher? Then, will anybody even want to publish it? I sat on that. I didn't have the $5,000. I had left my career when I married my husband because I didn't want to be a workaholic. There's a lot of things I think that when you come out of an abusive relationship, whether it's child abuse or whatever that's happened over a long period of time, you're not just affected with who you are mentally, but I don't know, my vice was working. I didn't drink. I didn't do any drugs, nothing like that, but I worked because work consumed my brain. When this all came out, I learned that I also have to fix that. I can't be working 70 hours a week and married to my job because if you're going to have a relationship, that person deserves some of you too. I wasn't capable of doing both of them. I knew that. I literally quit my career. Said, "I'm going to give this relationship thing a shot because I failed so many other times." I left that and went to work with my husband and started doing some things in odds and ends. Of course, we had no money. We're living on like peanut butter. After I wrote the book, I'm like, "I need $5,000. I don't have $5,000." I created a company called Monster Mini Golf and- Alyssa Scolari [15:34]: That's how you became the accidental entrepreneur. Christina Vitagliano [15:37]: Yes. In my head I was like, "I'm going to raise $5,000. I can do mini golf indoors, me and a friend, and when I raise the five grand, maybe I can get it published and then I'll be able to make enough money to live on too in the meantime. That was almost 20 years ago. Now we have 30 Monster Mini Golf locations. We franchised it. We've got two crazy locations in casinos in Vegas here, one with KISS and one with the Twilight Zone. I got sucked in and I became a workaholic and my husband owns this company with me so I kind of turned him into one now. Now he wants to be the workaholic and I don't want to be so that's its own battle. Yeah. Then when the pandemic hit, I sat down and said, "Oh, okay, we're closed. There's nothing to do. Hey, self-publishing is amazing. Look at all of this." I self-published. Alyssa Scolari [16:38]: Yeah. Yes. Now you have this book out titled Every 9 Minutes. Christina Vitagliano [16:45]: Yep. Yep. Alyssa Scolari [16:46]: Can you tell us a little bit about this book? Is this detailing your life- Christina Vitagliano [16:51]: It is. Alyssa Scolari [16:52]: ... and what you went through? Christina Vitagliano [16:54]: It is. It's titled Every 9 Minutes because every nine minutes there is a reported case of child abuse in the United States. Just in the United States, the rest of the world I can't even imagine, and that's reported. Alyssa Scolari [17:10]: Right. That's what's reported. Christina Vitagliano [17:12]: Child abuse, I think the majority is not ... I never reported mine because it's so taboo and you just condition nobody tells anybody about it and all kinds of very bad things are wrong with the whole subject. Anyway, that's where the title came from. The book is a memoir. I've changed a lot of names. I've changed a lot of places, just because respect for people that I ... Other people, good people. But I kept my name in it. It starts in 1969, which is when I'm four years old and it ends when I met my husband and how the whole thing came to light and I talked it. It spans 30 years, but I think a lot of people ... And I apologize with my dogs upstairs. I think- Alyssa Scolari [17:57]: Oh, is that what that is? Is that your dog? Christina Vitagliano [17:59]: We have two bulldog pups and they're insane. I think a lot of folks will ... And it's getting better. People will talk about child abuse and they'll talk about their experience of abuse. I think when I wrote this book, it spans that long because it's not just about the abuse. It's about the effect that the abuse has on you for that period of time. Alyssa Scolari [18:24]: That is so important that you said that because yes, when we talk about abuse, we cannot just talk about the incidents themselves. Christina Vitagliano [18:36]: No. Alyssa Scolari [18:36]: Because they have ripple effects onto your life for decades and ages to come. I love that you said that. I mean, it's so important not to just talk about, "Oh, this is what happens to me." But then what happened after. Christina Vitagliano [18:50]: This is what happened to me as a result of what happened to me. Alyssa Scolari [18:52]: Yes. Yeah. Christina Vitagliano [18:54]: This is why all these things happen. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [18:57]: You said it best. You said it best. Christina Vitagliano [19:01]: A lot of people don't talk about that because ... and there's nothing ... I think it's because when somebody hears that subject, it just is like, "Wow." It's so big on its own that people have to get what happened out. To me, and this is a really weird thing, what was happening was the abuse became so routine to me that, yeah, I'm like, "I can handle that crap." It's everything else that's happening to me that I couldn't figure out until I was old enough to say, "Oh, it's all because of that crap." You know? Alyssa Scolari [19:35]: Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, you're exactly right. I think it's so important and I guess one of the questions that I have for you is, what is your goal with this book? Are you trying to show people that they're not alone? Are you trying to show people that they can survive this? What was the goal for publishing this? Christina Vitagliano [20:02]: Yeah. I think you hit the nail on the head there. A few things. One, we're not alone. Two, I'm okay to talk about it if you guys can't, because there's a lot of people who can't talk about it. It doesn't matter whether we should or shouldn't. They just never will be able to. Sometimes knowing that somebody else is talking about it makes life a little bit better and yes, you can ... You know what's weird? I don't like the word survive it because I hate surviving shit. Surviving, it hurts. I don't want to hurt anymore and it's going to hurt forever and ever that never goes away. I think you have to try to overcome the intensity of it and overcome, you will never overcome it, but you have to outbalance it. You know what I mean? Yes, it's there, but I'm going to stay a step above it and keep it in check. Surviving it is bullshit because you never survive it. That's crap I think. Alyssa Scolari [21:02]: Yeah. Absolutely. I like what you said there, that it's not so much about surviving it as it is about managing the intensity of it. It's about not letting the memories and the flashbacks and the feelings and the urges swallow you whole and take over your entire life. Christina Vitagliano [21:23]: Yep. There are ... And it's weird. I think ... Some of it, I wrote about and some of it I don't because you can't write everything and you don't want to share literally everything. It's a hard subject to actually write about because people have a hard time reading about it too. You had to balance, "Hey, I have to share it and I don't want to share everything." I remember my editor when she went through it and you go through a child abuse scene in the book. She would come back to me and she would say, "Okay. Well, this is good. Change this. You have errors here and whatever." Then once in a while, she'll go, "Hey, detail this scene more." I'm like, "No. I'm not going to detail that scene more. Are you out of your mind? It's amazing that those words are there." But it was- Alyssa Scolari [22:03]: Right. Like, "You're lucky I even got this much. There's no way I can detail this." Christina Vitagliano [22:09]: Man, that was, I think ... You're like, "How was it writing it?" Writing it was one thing, dealing with the editing and having somebody above you or with you on your team say, "This is good but if you really want to share, and you want somebody to understand that you can outbalance this or do whatever, you have to show them what happened." Some of that stuff came back to me four and five times and finally ... It was over Christmas, this past Christmas before I published, right before I published. I sat on that book for about six weeks because of her notes. I was like, "I can't do it. I can't do what she's asking me to do." Another part of me was saying, "If you want this to be published and you want to share it and you want people to see what happened to actually make the point come across, then you have to do what she asked." It took six weeks and one day I got up. Just like I think we always ... Hey, you get up and all the puzzle pieces fell into place or kind of, and I said, "I'm going to give it a shot." I did, and when I got done it was like I had to go shower. I'm like, "I just got to walk away from that. Just don't ask me to read it again." You got the words, but somebody else read it now because I've just lived it too many times. Alyssa Scolari [23:24]: Yeah. That's I think another really important point, is I'm sure as you were writing it, or even going through the editing process, you find yourself right back in it. Christina Vitagliano [23:36]: Oh, it's brutal. The editing process was the worst because when you edit ... My book is about 370 pages. It started at 600 because for me to break from the time I was four, until whenever I thought the end was, I literally had to go through my entire life. Then somebody picks it up and says, "We don't need to know what you had for lunch one day." But I couldn't get from AA to B. We had to get rid of all that crap. Because it took me 20 years to publish, by the time I actually got it published, I had read that thing so many times it's just reliving it and reliving it and reliving it. Yes, it was good, but in some ways now, and I'm going to be honest, I'm very, very angry at things that I ... They just make you angry. It's like, "Why did these people let this happen? Why are these people today still siding with that guy?" Family members that were like "Oh, he's a saint." I'm like, "You're choosing not to see reality." That's a very hard thing to deal with. I have to be the person that says, "Well, that's your problem now." My issue is let's help people who want to be helped and band together. Alyssa Scolari [24:52]: That's the hardest part, is it's the reactions of the other people, right? Christina Vitagliano [24:52]: Oh, it's horrible. Alyssa Scolari [25:03]: You're bearing your soul and then there are people that go, "What are you talking about? He was a great guy. What are you doing this for?" That pure unfiltered rage, rage that you must feel like ... Yet, in this moment, you're in these moments where you are being almost like ... not forced, but you have the pressure on to share more and be a little bit more vulnerable. Then you're met with opposition from people, family members or friends or people who know you that are like, "What are you talking about? This is a good guy." In those moments, what kept you going? How did you stay true to the fact that this was right for you? Christina Vitagliano [25:55]: Anger. Alyssa Scolari [25:57]: Turning that rage into something productive. Christina Vitagliano [25:59]: Yeah. You say persevere, survive, overcome. Yeah, sure. All of that. Anger. I'm like, "No. You're wrong." More that I'm not the only one. I mean, nobody talks about this and in this day and age where we have ... And I will give ... Like well, let's say the millennials, because they want to cancel everything. On the flip side, people are speaking out more than anything in the world, but they won't speak about this. How do you want to do everything in the world and fix it all, ooh, but not that subject? That's too cool. That's too taboo. I don't want to do that. I want to get to the point where screaming about this too. Alyssa Scolari [26:39]: Yes. Christina Vitagliano [26:39]: You know? Alyssa Scolari [26:41]: Yeah. We're going to scream about this too. Christina Vitagliano [26:44]: Yeah. We're at that point where if enough of us are yelling, somebody will, people will say, "Okay. Well, it is about time." Celebrities have definitely been more vocal about it, and I think that's great that they are. I think being a normal person and not that celebrity and everybody protects ... not protects them, but they have the voice. I think that when you see a celebrity come out and say, "I was abused or this is happening in Hollywood." You're like, "Well, that's good. I'm glad somebody is talking about it." But you still feel like, "I'm just a normal person and nobody listened to me." I want to be the normal person that speaks out kind of. You know? Alyssa Scolari [27:24]: Yes. The thing is survivors of childhood abuse, we've all got rage and if we're not taking that rage and if we're not using it to speak up and speak out about this taboo topic and shout it from the rooftops, what child abuse is, how it affects people in the long-term, what this does to us, then that rage is still going to be there. It's still going to go somewhere and nine times out of 10, we're going to take it out on ourselves in ways that are self-destructive. Christina Vitagliano [27:56]: You are a hundred percent correct. Yep. Alyssa Scolari [27:59]: That rage has to go somewhere. There's so much power in using your voice, whether it's through writing, whether it's through speaking, taking that rage that you're talking about, which I'm glad you said it, because honestly that is what keeps us going. Rage. Christina Vitagliano [28:15]: It is. [crosstalk 00:28:15]. Alyssa Scolari [28:15]: Pure rage. Christina Vitagliano [28:17]: Yep. You have to keep it in check because we can't go running around with knives and guns, even though your head says, "Well, I wish I could." But you can't. Alyssa Scolari [28:24]: I wish I could. Christina Vitagliano [28:25]: I wish I could. Alyssa Scolari [28:25]: I wish I could. Christina Vitagliano [28:27]: Yep. Alyssa Scolari [28:27]: I wish I could. Christina Vitagliano [28:28]: Yep, but this isn't the cartoons. Alyssa Scolari [28:29]: Right. You have managed to take all of that anger, all of that grief and turn it into something that this is your voice. Your voice. I have to ask you, when you look back on the years in which you were enduring abuse, were there times where you just wanted to completely give up? Christina Vitagliano [28:59]: Oh, of course. Yes. Just yes. Yeah. I think more as ... That's weird because even after I've talked about it and it was out in the open and I wrote it down before I published, more as I got older. I think there's something about this subject, well abusive of any kind, the older you get, it seems like because you get smarter and wisdom kicks in. I think when you're younger, you don't realize how bad it is or how wrong it is. Then you get more educated on people and then you realize how jaded adults are and they're teaching their children the wrong thing. You get angrier. In some ways it's harder to deal with the older I get, but because you're smarter and because you've learned a lot, you learn to balance it better. It's not easy by any means though. Alyssa Scolari [30:05]: I love that you're saying this because this is what happens. It's fantastic because I think that so many people scratch their heads over why adults tend to be so distraught about abuse that happened to them when they were younger. I think a lot of people ... I've seen a lot of people, even people when talking about themselves, and even me personally, when I started a lot of my memories were repressed. When I started to have all of these memories, I was an adult. There were moments that I've had, and I know a lot of my clients have had, where it's like, "Why am I so upset about this now? Why am I more upset about this today than I was 25 years ago when this happened?" It's because the older you get, the more you know, the more you understand and the more you feel and the more you have language to be able to put to what you feel. It's actually very, very natural. It's actually harder when you're older, so [crosstalk 00:31:16]. Christina Vitagliano [31:15]: Yeah. What makes me anger is as you know all of that and you say to yourself, "Goddammit, that's why these adults are abusing children because they know that." I got angrier and still get angry because I'm like, "Well, this person was a full grown adult and what they were doing was bad, but they were a hundred percent aware of what they were doing too and I think that's what makes you angrier as you get older, is you really, really did something terrible to a child with full knowledge of what you were doing. You know? Alyssa Scolari [31:53]: Yes. There's no excuse. No excuse for it. You knew, you know, you took full advantage. Christina Vitagliano [32:01]: You chose to do that. That's a choice. You know what I mean? It's not a sickness. That's a bunch of bullshit. You've chosen to do that. If it was carried on from your parents, then that's a shame, but this is why we're standing here today talking about it so that maybe it doesn't keep going because nobody seems to care that it is going. Alyssa Scolari [32:21]: Yeah. You know? When you talk about the whole, it's a sickness type thing. You know what? Whether it's a sickness or not, I don't give a fuck because you know what? I have a sickness. I have complex trauma and do I walk around hurting people? No. Christina Vitagliano [32:37]: Exactly. I don't care if it's a sickness. It still shouldn't happen. You know? Alyssa Scolari [32:42]: There's no excuse. It's not an excuse. Christina Vitagliano [32:43]: No. No. Alyssa Scolari [32:44]: Right? Christina Vitagliano [32:45]: Yep. Alyssa Scolari [32:46]: It wouldn't be an excuse for me to get drunk and get in my car because I had a night where I was traumatized. That's not an excuse, so why- Christina Vitagliano [32:57]: Yeah. Why is it okay for these other people? Alyssa Scolari [32:58]: ... why do we make excuses? Why do we excuse child abusers so often? It's infuriating. I could scream about it from the rooftops. Christina Vitagliano [33:09]: It really is. It really is. Alyssa Scolari [33:11]: It really is. This book that you've written, it feels like it's a message, not just for other people, but also for your younger self. Like a message to hang on because look at ... Could you ever have imagined the life that you have for yourself now? Would you ever have pictured it? Christina Vitagliano [33:29]: No. Not in a million years. Not even close. Yeah. Yeah, so weird. Alyssa Scolari [33:36]: I'm going to ask you another pretty candid question. Knowing what you know now about how your life was going to turn out, are you glad you stayed? Are you glad you hung on? Christina Vitagliano [33:52]: Through all of it, you mean? Alyssa Scolari [33:53]: Mm-hmm [affirmative]. Christina Vitagliano [33:55]: Yeah. I mean, not glad that it happened obviously, but yes. Yes. I always ... Part of me, I think survived ... And this is my individual case, I think is because my father was so jealous in some weird way that if I got a better grade in school than his crazy son did, that would piss him off. I learned, "Oh, well, then fuck you. I'm going to piss you off." In a lot of ways, I was like, "Oh, yeah, he's failing and you want me to fail too? I'm not going to fail." There's a lot of things that ... And I think a lot of us do that is, "Oh, you don't like that. There's a way I can piss you off, but not piss you off." You know what I mean? Alyssa Scolari [34:41]: Yeah. Christina Vitagliano [34:41]: I just became this driven, crazy person to not be like the rest of my family. I don't want to say there's good that comes out of bad because nobody wants to go through that bad. Nobody should ever go through that bad, but because of the abuse there are, I don't know, things about me that I'm glad that they're like that, you know? I don't know. It's a hard thing to explain. Not that I'm thankful for him for anything, but you know? Alyssa Scolari [35:17]: No. Right. We're not thankful. It's not like we're glad that it happened because it taught us a lesson. Christina Vitagliano [35:24]: [crosstalk 00:35:24]. Alyssa Scolari [35:23]: None of that. It's just a matter of I think for the people out there who are in this, in the thick of it and just want to give up and want to end their lives, and want to throw in the towel and say, "Fuck it." It's like, I think about you and your story and you've managed to go from being severely abused, to getting out, getting married, starting a multi-million dollar business, writing a book, being a voice for those who don't have a voice. I think to myself like, "If that's not a message for the listeners out there to keep going, I don't know what is." Because look at where you're at now. It's so inspirational and it gives so much hope, even though, you're very real about, listen, some days are bullshit. Some of this sucks. This sucks. It's still infuriating and I'm not over it because we don't get over it. We do not get over it, but we learn how to not let it consume us. Christina Vitagliano [36:43]: Yeah. That's the balance. Alyssa Scolari [36:46]: That's the balance. Christina Vitagliano [36:49]: Yep. It is. Alyssa Scolari [36:52]: Now, if people ... Because I just feel like this book ... First of all, for the listeners out there, this book has like well over a hundred reviews, I think I was looking on Amazon. Christina Vitagliano [36:52]: Yeah. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [37:06]: Yeah. This book has well over ... almost 120 reviews on Amazon, extremely high-rated book. If people want to find more about you, want to find your book, what's the best place they should go? Should they go right to Amazon? You tell us. Christina Vitagliano [37:29]: Amazon's definitely the easiest so if you're in Amazon and search Every 9 Minutes, it pops up. My social media, I'm always obviously promoting my book, but if you look up Every 9 Minutes on anything, Twitter or anybody, it'll obviously pop up. My website and all my social media handles are 123ChristinaV, so whether you're on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook, or my website is 123christinav.com, you can find me there. You can message me from anything anywhere. I'm very responsive. Alyssa Scolari [38:03]: Fantastic. You said that's 123ChristinaV? Christina Vitagliano [38:08]: Yep. And .com is my website. Yep. Alyssa Scolari [38:13]: Okay. Okay. For the listeners out there, I'm going to link that in the show notes. Head on over to the show notes so you can find that. You'll have access there to everything. Christina is also ... She's a speaker. She does so much. Check out this book. The link will be in there. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. Christina Vitagliano [38:36]: Thank you. Alyssa Scolari [38:37]: It was an honor to talk to you. I think you're shedding light on the ripple effects of childhood abuse and you're screaming it from the rooftops. Christina Vitagliano [38:47]: Thank you for having me. Alyssa Scolari [38:49]: Of course. It was a pleasure. Thanks for listening everyone. For more information, please head over to lightaftertrauma.com or you can also follow us on social media. On Instagram, we are @lightaftertrauma and on Twitter it is @lightafterpod. Lastly, please head over to patreon.com/lightaftertrauma to support our show. We are asking for $5 a month, which is the equivalent to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Please head on over. Again, that's patreon.com/lightaftertrauma. Thank you. We appreciate your support.
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