Real Talk About the Single Life Podcast by Jenny Emerson

As I close out this season on the podcast, I want to share a treasure and resource with you in the person of Anita Pringle. Anita is a licensed counselor and the Clinical Director at The Refuge Center for Counseling.  From a young age, Anita knew she wanted to be a counselor. Anita certainly got her wish, but in a slightly different way than she had planned. What she didn’t know is that through the experience of her own grief, she would be able to minister to many others who were walking out their own grief.  In this episode, Anita shares about the many seasons of her life, from a single adult, single parent, married, and now widowed.  Anita has discovered a significant perspective that has allowed her to live a full and purposeful life, even when seasons are sprinkled with loneliness and challenge.  In this episode we’ll explore:  What it’s been like to be single in more than one season of life How Anita navigated her own pain while caring for her sick husband How Anita’s sense of purpose fuels her ability to treasure each day now   If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook Connect with Anita Pringle and the Refuge Center  If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

In the midst of so much uncertainty from day to day, it’s hard to feel like we have any control at all. When I’m stuck in a fearful state, I spend a lot of time planning for things that might not even come to pass. Do you get stuck here too? What I’ve discovered is that my thought life is perhaps the most important thing I can control and makes the most impact on those around me. I have also learned that if I’m honest, a lot of my own suffering can be self-inflicted.    So what’s the remedy for all of this chaos in our heads? Choose joy instead. Find your people and find ways to connect, even if it’s tricky. Take time to take inventory of all those things you’ve loved in the past. Then add all those things you’ve ever wanted to try-even if they sound crazy. Then go do them and let me know the results. And the best part of joy? It’s never limited!  In this episode we’ll explore:  How you can unknowingly be the cause of your own suffering Why you don’t need a romantic partner to know true joy Ideas that might spark new joy in your life   If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

If 2020 hasn’t been a giant reminder, when it comes to disappointment, none of us are getting out of here unscathed. Disappointment is a part of life, but it can be so easy to begin to think we should expect it or that it has something to do with our worth. If you find yourself getting stuck saying things like “this always happens to me” or “this figures”, it’s time to start analyzing some of those thought patterns so you can recognize the choices you have to make the moment disappointment strikes.    If you haven’t caught my story by now, I have navigated a lot of disappointment and grief in recent years. I’ll recap some of that in this episode. I am not done healing, but I’m making progress and I want to share the tools I’ve found that have made the biggest impact on my ability to move forward. Friend, there’s nothing wrong with you. Disappointment does hurt. We’ve got to acknowledge the hurt and sit in a moment. But we can’t stay there forever. In time, you always have the choice to stay bitter, pretend it didn’t happen, or use it for good. What will you choose?  In this episode we’ll explore:  How to tell the difference between facts and the story you’re telling yourself  What it looks like to reframe your circumstances  How to know when it’s time to make a decision in your disappointment  What it looks like to integrate disappointment into your life without letting it define you    If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

Did you think you’d be in a relationship by now? Being single longer than you intended can mean that you have let go of hopes that came along with having a spouse or partner in the picture. This can certainly include having a family. But my guest and dear friend Sara Sweat decided that she wasn’t willing to give up on that desire. Instead, she decided to reimagine her future, and pursue that dream, while accepting the challenges that come with solo-parenting. In this episode, Sara helps us understand the distinction between single parenting and solo parenting and why even on the hard days, it has been 100% worth it.    Because Sara is a tribe sister and soul mate, I have had a front-row seat to the unfolding of the miracle that her son is. We talk about the way she relied on her village from early pregnancy until now. Though taking such a non-traditional route like solo-parenting can be scary, Sara was delighted to discover how many people were so eager to support her. We also talk about the interesting challenge of dating as a solo parent. Sara shares how dating is both trickier and simpler in this season of her life. If you’re single and the dream of having children is not something you’ve been able to release, I challenge you to listen to Sarah’s story and consider the possibility that you might not have to let go of that dream.  In this episode we’ll explore:    Why solo-parenting implies intentional acceptance  What unique challenges and joys a solo parent encounters  How Sara’s community plays a critical role in raising her son How Sara can vet a potential dating match in just one conversation If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook Connect with Sara on Instagram  instagram.com/a.life.curated  If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

Do you believe that there is just one amazing person out there for you? And IF you find them, then the rest of your life would just fall into place? You know, I sometimes wish there was an easy 3 step process to finding your soul mate. But the reality is, this traditional concept of a “soul mate” can really mess with our hearts and minds because it’s not rooted in reality. In this episode, I am going to point out all the problems that surface when we are waiting for this “soul mate” to finally arrive. That future partner? They are not going to complete you. They are only the icing on the cake. You my friend, ARE the cake. Do you believe it?    So then do we just toss out the idea of a soul mate? I don’t think that’s really necessary. I propose that all we need to do is broaden our definition of a soul mate. I even go so far as to say that our need for a soul mate can actually be found in a lot of friendships in addition to our partner. Sometimes a spouse or partner is really receptive and encouraging when we are in need. And sometimes a girlfriend is just a better person to process with. So then what is the sign of a true soul mate? Listen in to find out!    In this episode we’ll explore:  Why traditional definitions of a soul mate can set us up for disappointment in dating Why your choice to weather the hard seasons in a relationship can make all the difference Why we need more than just one person to be able to speak the truth back to us in difficult circumstances.    If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook   If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

Well, the time has finally come to dive into all things dating apps! The emotional responses that come when the conversation turns to dating apps is always a mixed bag. They can be an exciting new way to connect but they can also lead to discouragement, sometimes all in the same week! I’ve used these apps and coached women who use these apps, so I’ve taken all this experience and packed it into this one episode. The key to online dating is in setting realistic expectations and always finding the opportunity to learn more about yourself, even if the date doesn’t lead you directly to the altar.    Navigating the world of online dating is a lot simpler if you know what you should include and what you should leave out when it comes to creating your profile. How will I attract the right person? Is there such a thing as being too honest? (Ahem, yes!)  How long should we chat on email or through messaging before setting up a time to meet? I will cover all these questions and more! I’m also going to help you understand why being intentional about your expectations can allow you to enjoy the process more often. Listen to learn some of my best tips on creating your profile, how to handle the first few dates, and how to be a decent human, even when you’re not interested! In this episode we’ll explore:  How to find the right balance between being honest and over-sharing information about your profile.  How it can be easy to interact with the person in our fantasy versus the person we are meeting in real life.  Tips for how to deal with a lack of connection- on your end or theirs!   If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook   If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!  

It’s not uncommon that when a relationship ends, we find ourselves having to work through rediscovering our identity. Our most significant relationships are a huge piece of who we are. When a relationship ends, our identity can be dismantled. Though we know it’s not true in our minds, it’s hard to escape feeling like we are damaged goods. It’s hard to believe we could even consider the possibility of being in a relationship again. Could you trust yourself to make good decisions about dating? Could you be vulnerable and trust again? These are the questions we have to ask when we begin to do relationship recovery, whether it be a break-up, a death, or a divorce. It’s all difficult work.    We may know what that pain feels like as a woman, but today’s guest is going to round out the story for us. Brandon Wetzler is a coach for divorced men. He helps men navigate the heartache or divorce and begin building an honorable life they can take pride in. He speaks about the often overlooked need men have to express their emotions and be nurtured. We also discuss how critical it is to be authentic at every stage of the dating game. We agree on a few other topics like our love of cheese and the fact that being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel lonely. Join us to explore the other half of the conversation you might be missing.  In this episode we’ll explore:  Why an end of a relationship can lead to an identity crisis How there’s no such thing as the perfect person How women can easily neglect a man’s need to be nurtured Connect with Brandon Website Facebook If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook   If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

Are you someone who can dine alone in a restaurant? Or does the experience just overwhelm you? I have to tell you that now, when I’m craving sushi, I sure as heck ain’t gonna wait until my girlfriends can make it. I’m happy to go alone because I can truly enjoy it!  Dining alone doesn’t make you a loser-it just means you’re hungry. I was reminded of this in the book Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled, and Independent by Judy Ford. It’s a book I have read and reread and I want to share some nuggets of truth with you from this book. I am all about sharing the tools and resources that have affirmed me and given me a fresh perspective about enjoying my singleness. Listen in as I share my top 10 takeaways from this treasure.     In this episode we’ll explore:  Why you are the only one who can take responsibility for your happiness How you can actually be lonelier with someone than without if it’s the wrong person Why it’s okay to enjoy dating even if you haven’t found “the one” If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!    Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show The Book: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled, and Independent Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

Sometimes it’s just a lot of energy to show up single to another happy hour with all those couple friends. But it kind of rubs salt in the wound when you have to show up to the wedding of your last single girlfriend. It’s a time to celebrate and be happy for them, but there’s nothing that could make you feel more alone.    Y’all, it IS hard. There is no mistaking that. And it's appropriate to take time to grieve that you don’t have the relationship that you might be longing for just yet. But there’s a real danger in comparing your life with everyone else’s or even with what you think you should have achieved by now. You haven’t failed my friend. Your life is simply unfolding differently. In this episode, I am challenging you to get unstuck in your disappointment. I want you to pull it together and show up in a big way to celebrate your friend for that one evening. Remember, your circle of friends is going to change with the different seasons of life. Embrace the gifts that those changes bring. And perhaps most importantly, remember to stop judging your insides with other people’s outsides.    In this episode we’ll explore:  How comparison can keep you stuck longer than you planned Why your personal story has immense value that doesn’t change with a relationship status  How to set boundaries about the input others offer about your singlehood   If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook   If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

I am not quick to play the victim when it comes to living the single life. But you know who woke me up on my birthday in the middle of a pandemic? Fear! I came out swinging trying to fight all those voices that were telling me that I wasn’t worth as much since I was alone again on another birthday. It can be challenging enough to be single any other day of the year, but being single during a season of social distancing is a whole other beast!    Sure, I may have been saved from fighting with a spouse. I may also have all the free time, flexibility, and independence I could ever want right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not lonely. As strange as it is to say, being lonely is exhausting while being alone can be a gift. It’s everything at once. This is exactly why I say this is not a conversation about either this or that, but of both. It’s time to stop minimizing and dismissing one another’s pain. It’s time to listen-and do so without offering a side of your best advice.    In this episode we’ll explore:  Why we have the tendency to minimize someone else’s pain How it may be easy to identify when someone else is masking their own pain Why peace and freedom often follow when we allow ourselves to sit in the hard emotions    If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!  

It is one thing to grieve something you are anticipating losing, but there was absolutely no way to anticipate how quickly life would radically transform as a result of this pandemic. And then we had to try to adapt to life without all the things that made us feel safe, normal, or familiar. You may still be very overwhelmed as you try to make adjustments, and it’s entirely normal for that overwhelm to manifest itself as anxiety or depression. If you are feeling stuck right now, I want to offer you some ways to slow down your thoughts and connect with your mind and heart in this moment, even if that feels scary.  Today I am going to share with you some simple yet powerful ways to move through your intense emotions rather than stuff them down. Finding ways to work through these emotions allows us to release them more readily. When we fail to do this, these emotions can take a serious toll on our physical bodies. Right now, more than ever, it is an important time to care for yourself as you gather strength to endure what still lies ahead. You’re not alone!    In this episode we’ll explore:  Why it’s worth it to take time to grieve  How grief can manifest itself in different ways How you cannot release pain unless you’ve taken time to address it If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook Emotions Checklist If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

When chaos and uncertainty encompass every part of our lives, it is important to take note of our emotions as we navigate an isolating season. Overnight, we have lost access to relationships and routines that we enjoy and depend on in order to thrive. We are grieving the sudden loss of these things which makes the need for support and connection to a greater power even more critical. Take a moment and join me as I lead you in a meditation that has served me time and time again. May it bring your hope and peace as you go about your week. Special thanks to my brother, Jason Emerson who composed the music for this episode.  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

If you’ve been burned even once in any of your relationships, be it romantic, friendship, or family, our human inclination is to make sure we never get hurt like that again. We build walls. It absolutely makes sense, but this reaction also has consequences. It prevents us from being able to enjoy intimacy in relationships in the future. How do I know? Because I’m walking it out in my life, right alongside you. Grief has taken me to some dark places of shame and humiliation, but if I didn’t have a network of support to love on me and remind me of truth, I would have still been stuck. In this episode, I want to share with you how you can begin to let your walls down so you can experience the good in your relationships again too!    As you begin this journey,  just one foot in front of the other, I strongly recommend working with a life coach, a therapist, or both. I share with you how each of these professionals can help in different ways. Working with a coach like me, you will be able to explore what experiences make up those walls, how they got there, and how you can work to move them aside so you can move forward. This process also requires that you begin to trust yourself again to be able to endure those hard moments of hurt or disappointment. And lastly, (and this is a hard one), you have to practice not taking things so personally. The reality is that not everything people say or do is a value statement about you! Friends, this process isn't easy, but I promise you it’s worth it. I’m here to walk every step with you!    In this episode we’ll explore:  Why we naturally build up emotional walls How walls can prevent us from experiencing pain and joy all at once Why vulnerability is necessary in order to heal from past hurt   If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook

I might sound like a broken record already, but I am here to remind you again that your worthiness is not conditional. Your value will never be rooted in how much you weigh, how much you make, how much education you have, or even how many friends you have. You are worthy simply because you are you! It would be great if we were confident of these truths all the time, but let’s be real! It’s a daily struggle!  Have you ever started a statement in your head with; “They must think I…(you fill in the blank)”. When we’re feeling low, it’s easy to obsess about all the things other people must think about us. But can I tell you a secret? They’re not thinking about you nearly as much as they are thinking about themselves. I struggle to combat these thoughts too, but I’ve got some strategies to share with you today. These are simple things you can do to take away the power of these statements so you can continue to thrive in your journey in singleness or take with you as you explore the dating world.  In this episode, I am getting a little vulnerable with you because it is my goal to create a safe community for single women by paving the way and sharing my own story. Together we will heal, grow, and go!    Tips for Battling Negative Self-Talk Ground yourself by standing (barefoot when possible) and imagine you are pulling your breath in through your feet. Take in 5-10 breaths.  Respond by saying: “I hear you but I don’t believe you.” Open your eyes and make mental notes of where you are physically and geographically.  In this episode we’ll explore:  Why your worthiness is not conditional How to fight back against  toxic self-talk Why it’s critical to be vulnerable about the hard parts of this journey If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Jenny's Website Instagram Facebook If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

As a single person, there are just some social situations that are both inevitable but also difficult to endure yet again. It’s that moment that a very “well-intended” friend or family member asks , ”But why are you still single?”. It becomes this mystery that they must figure out for themselves while you squirm in unwanted vulnerability. While they don’t mean to hurt you, the only thing that you often take away from the conversation is that there must be something wrong with you.    And this is where you and I start a different conversation.    It’s the one where I remind you that your relationship status and your worth have nothing to do with each other. Finding a spouse is not the ultimate goal in your life. I want you to be convinced that you do not have to qualify the statement “I am single”. You just are. And on top of that, it’s okay to push back on those who ask you that dreaded question and remind those well-intentioned friends that your relationship status is only a small fraction of the dynamic individual that you are.    In this episode we’ll explore:    How your worth and your relationship status are not correlated.  Why it is absolutely possible to both long for a relationship in the future and be content with being single right now.  Why being fake or inauthentic in order to drum up a relationship will only end in long term disappointment.    If you enjoyed this episode I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @realtalkaboutthesinglelife and tell me what you think! Could you use some support to better navigate the challenges and harness the joy of being a single person? Contact me to schedule a free consult to see how you learn to write a love story that is true to you, whether that includes a relationship or not!  Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher Referenced in the Show Connect with Jenny Jenny's Website Instagram If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show! If you haven’t already joined my Facebook community for single women, we would love to see you there! Share your questions and comments there after the show!

For many singles, Valentine’s Day is one of the top two dreaded days on the calendar. New Year’s Eve would be it’s twin. Both holidays are pressured with expectations of how your life and relationship status should be.  Over the years, it has become a day of comparison and usually a disappointment. In this episode, I want to talk about some different ways to approach the day. I acknowledge that it can be hard but it doesn’t have to be impossible to get through. In this episode we cover: How to spread love yourself instead of just waiting to receive Remembering being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t the worst thing that has ever happened to you. The fact that the grass on the other side isn’t always greener. It’s just different. You can still do Valentine’s “things” as a single person. For some, staying in and out of sight, is the smoothest way to power through the day. You don’t have to hibernate alone. Invite friends and make memories together. As they say, “Treat Yo self.” Girl, why do flowers and perfume have to come from a man? If these are things that would bring you joy, go get them. Self-love is just as important as the love from a man. For more information and the opportunity to connect with other single women, join the Facebook group, Real Talk About the Single Life. Or download Jenny’s free eBook by the same name on website, https://www.singlescoachjenny.com/. Jenny also offers individual coaching. Her introductory package, Girl, Get Ready can be found on her website as well. https://www.singlescoachjenny.com/  

Introduction to Jenny and the Real Talk About the Single Life podcast. Jenny shares 6 key insights she has gained through her work with other women as well as in her journey through singlehood. 6 Key Insights Gained A ceremony and piece of paper don’t guarantee happiness. - No man or relationship status can give me that. It is something I have to make happen for myself.  Life has to be lived right now. I can’t wait for XYZ to happen. I have to take the bull by the horns and go for it right now.  While Forrest Gump was right about life being a box of chocolates, with every piece I have choice to enjoy it or spit it out.  I have dodged many a bullet for which now, I am extremely grateful. And trust me ladies, those men would say the same about me. It is totally okay that we weren’t the right match for each other. Every man that has been in my life has taught me something and I chose to use those lessons learned.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I am not a project to be fixed. Nor do I need to achieve a certain level of anything to be worthy of love and adoration. (Yeah, I did a lot of work to learn that one. It didn’t come easy.)  I am not for everyone but those who get me, laugh with me. - that’s my hope for you too.  Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/realtalkaboutthesinglelife/ Website: https://www.singlescoachjenny.com/