Podcasts about Ahem

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Best podcasts about Ahem

Latest podcast episodes about Ahem

Tales from the Stinky Dragon
Lost Dianasty - Ep. 81 - Here Today, Gone to Morrow

Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 88:39


The Infinights trek through a dangerous maze hoping to find an answer to GumGum's father and a way to save Dr. Ahem in the center.  Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1/month trial period and take your business to the next level today.  Go to http://joinhoney.com/dragon to get PayPal Honey for free.  Shout Out to our Voice Actors for this episode: Brandohorn the Minotaurian - Recreyo's Curt Richy (@curtrichy) Brink Tussler - Eric Baudour (@EricBaudour)  Download the audio version https://link.chtbl.com/stinkydragontale Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wired To Crush It With Tanya Aliza
3 Non-Negotiable Activities I Do Everyday To Generate Leads And Sales For My Business

Wired To Crush It With Tanya Aliza

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2023 22:38


Let's be honest! Sometimes it can be frustrating learning how to generate leads and sales for your business. https://instagram.com/tanyaaliza   I know this because I hear it in so many marketing communities online.   If you're new to growing your business online, you've probably heard from 20 different so-called “gurus” who are all saying completely different things, and to make it even more confusing, they may or may not even be implementing what they're teaching everyone else to do.    This drives me nuts.    Ahem! (I've been in the online business world for over a decade… I've seen a ton of weird stuff.)   On the other hand, if you've been in business for a few years, you might be scratching your head trying to understand why some people find it so EASY to generate leads and sales online, and yet, you're barely making it!    We've all been there.   And this is why I've developed my 3 non-negotiable activities that I implement every day in order to generate leads and sales.   These 3 things are what hit the TOP of the to-do list and take priority every day… except most Saturdays and Sundays!    Pop your earbuds in and crank the volume because in this week's episode I talk about what activities I do every day to generate leads and sales for my business. Feel free to copy them! Episode highlights that you won't want to miss: 2:14 - Pros and cons of free and paid marketing  6:29 - What 6 and 7-figure online entrepreneurs do every day  8:36 - How I find killer content ideas that perfectly attract my perfect buyers 12:17 -  THIS one thing is so powerful & will help you generate leads and sales  14:36 - Optimizing your marketing & lead strategy   Thanks for listening. If you found value, please SHARE this episode and rate and review the show! This helps us so much.   REGISTER FOR THE REVENUE MULTIPLIER MASTERCLASS SHOWNOTES & ALL THE RESOURCES WTCI COMMUNITY CONNECT ON INSTAGRAM

Bliss of the Abyss
99.999999 - Bonus Laughs

Bliss of the Abyss

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2023 6:01


Welcome back to TBOTA! Here's a little snippet from Wednesday's radio show that should raise a smile or two! HORSE SHAMPOO! Ahem. Full bonus episode (along with 51 others) on the Patreon. Become a patron and help me make this show. Bonus episodes every week>> https://www.patreon.com/theblissoftheabyss Like and follow us on Facebook or Instagram Rent the award-winning One Jewish Boy My Webpage © Robert Neumark Jones

Radio 1's Screen Time
The Last Of Us Interview Special - Featuring Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey

Radio 1's Screen Time

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2023 29:21


The Last Of Us TV show is finally with us, on HBO in the US and here in the UK through Sky Atlantic / NOW. At long, long last - so to speak - The Last Of Us is here. At last. In 2013 the first game came out on PS3 - remember that? - and now, a decade later, Naughty Dog's critically-adored post-apocalyptic zombie heartbreaker has finally been adapted for the small screen, and by Chernobyl's Craig Mazin no less, so that's how you know it'll be a laugh riot. Ahem. Talking to TLOU superfan Ali we have Craig himself, as well as our Joel and Ellie, Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey, not forgetting game co-creator Neil Druckmann and, well, quite a few others as it goes.

The Whole Pineapple
Episode 26: That's Hysterical!: The History of Hysteria in Women's Health

The Whole Pineapple

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2023 44:53


“A tendency to cause trouble” – over history, there have been LOTS of “definitions” of hysteria. Usually from men, starting in the 5th Century BC with Hippocrates. (You've heard of the Hippocratic Oath? Yeah. That guy.) Ahem. If you're like us, the least mention of hysteria in regards to those who identify as women really gets the hackles up. Outdated and untrue though it may be, it's still a problem: This notion of women being "hysterical" underpins much of women's struggles to get their issues recognized, respected, studied, and treated.  So in this episode, Ruby and Anne take apart these notions of women and hysteria, that great uber-diagnosis that explained All The Things. Except it didn't. Though the episode is genuinely hilarious (note the purposeful avoidance of ‘hysterical' in reference to ha ha funny), it's an important issue – women often aren't diagnosed or are mis-diagnosed for YEARS, causing not just undue suffering, but also allowing disease progression and potentially triggering inappropriate self-medicating, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.  So listen to the episode, laugh along with the hosts and the ludicrous ideas that “science” has held about women's bodies. Then gird your loins, gals, and be ready to advocate for yourself when remnants of that old “hysteria” idea creep into modern life. Menopause is NOT all in your head, heart attacks look different in women, cramps shouldn't be debilitating, and any medical professional who says "just deal with it" for flooding periods can f- uh, find a more suitable profession. Looking for more great information? Find Ruby and Anne and their catalog of episodes on your favorite podcast app and at https://thewholepineapple.com/.  References https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3480686/  (Women And Hysteria In The History Of Mental Health - PMC (nih.gov)) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/B9780128017722000011 (A brief history of hysteria: From the ancient to the modern - ScienceDirect) https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/the-controversy-of-female-hysteria#Vibrators-for-hysteria? https://www.wired.com/2014/05/fantastically-wrong-wandering-womb/ https://bpr.berkeley.edu/2021/08/10/the-lingering-effects-of-female-hysteria-in-medicine/  https://www.themedicalcareblog.com/female-hysteria-womens-health-disparities/ https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/high-court-lets-alabama-sex-toy-ban-stand/  https://muse.jhu.edu/article/562915/summary Here is where you can read The Yellow Wallpaper https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1952/1952-h/1952-h.htm

The Aquacave
Toad Man - Dawson's Creek (S1 E3)

The Aquacave

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2023 47:37


The New TNN Podcast presents a look back at a true American treasure…DAWSON's CREEK! Join Jonnie Sea and his *AHEM* co-host “Film Connoisseur Kevin Nash” as they relive Dawson's Creek one episode at a time… Up next, Episode 3 "Prelude to a Kiss"! Dawson faces the trials of having to coexist with NELLIE and CLIFF on the set of HELMETS OF GLORY, while JOEY plays dress up with a boy from out of town! PLUS: KEVIN is out sick so Jonnie is joined by special guest host “CONFUSED BUT ENTHUSIASTIC FORCE GHOST DUSTY RHODES!”

Waiting for Doom
Episode 177: Welcome to Doom-Thousand-Twenty-Three (SMELL THE DOOM!)

Waiting for Doom

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2023 63:45


IT'S 2023 AND WAITING FOR DOOM IS STILL HERE, YO, LIKE AN UNKILLABLE, UNDEAD...ZOMBIE...BUTT...or something. Ahem. Join Mike and Paul as they discuss all the Doom Patrol related happenings, both current and future! Doom News - 7:56 Doom Clock – 15:27 Doomsplaining- 26:10 - SPOILER WARNING! We discuss the first 3 episodes of Season 4 of the Doom Patrol TV show! Can you believe that we actually HAVE such a thing and it's known it's 4th season? What a time to be alive! Mailbag O Doom - 53:58 Original Broadcast Date: 05 January 2023

The Aquacave
Toad Man - Dawson's Creek (S1 E2)

The Aquacave

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 48:09


The New TNN Podcast presents a look back at a true American treasure…DAWSON's CREEK! Join Jonnie Sea and his *AHEM* co-host “Film Connoisseur Kevin Nash” as they relive Dawson's Creek one episode at a time… Up next, Episode 2 "Dirty Dancing"! Dawson and the gang continue to work on their "film" while dealing with their indivudal quagmires! Dawson needs kissing advice from THE FLASH, Pacey continues to flirt with Tamara in PUBLIC, Jen is trying to act like a normal human, while Joey stares daggers into both Jen and Dawson! What will happen when Jen befriends HOT JOCK (and alleged Kylo Ren Finalist) SCOTT FOLEY and they head to the school dance...together? Plus: "Kevin" shares tax tips for SALT WATER TAFFY vendors and Dawson almost joins The Riddler cult!

Steamy Stories Podcast
A Late Great Christmas Gift

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2022


Santa & His Team Makes Up For A North Pole Screw-Up.By Demi Urging. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.It's the wee hours of December 26th. Rick is finally shoving the last of his teetering friends through their front door, He volunteered to be designated driver again, for about half a dozen friends & co-workers.Another Christmas gathering passed as the clock ticked into the next day and it seemed he'd be single again into the new year. He thought he would have gotten over it by age thirty. He did have a pity date from last year  for New Year's Eve. It hadn't been a nice date, either; she stayed for a single kiss at midnight and left without another word. The same woman has a boyfriend this year, so Rick couldn't ask again even if his pride would allow it. Now he'll get plenty of sleep.The only sign of the holidays in his life was the box of fudge sitting on his counter, Which his elderly neighbor gave him the night before Christmas.He wouldn't even eat it tonight. Sleep had to come first, then he had a week off, since the boss knew most of the team would be useless if he had them come in that week.Climbing the stairs, he smelled something delectable, coming out of the 4th floor stairwell. He thought one of his neighbors must have made actual food instead of subsisting on beer and crackers like his friends had. Maybe he would eat some of that fudge after all, since a glass of water and a handful of crackers in the face of a home-cooked meal seemed inadequate.It had to be Miss Thompson. Rick thought that the old gal had gone off to the country for the day to visit with her kids, but the smell of his mom's ham with orange & clove seasoning didn't lie, and it was absolutely coming from somewhere on this floor, getting stronger as he approached his own apartment.Taking a final pleasant sniff before entering his lonely apartment, Rick turned, halfway opened his front door, and was smacked in the face with a bouquet of aromas that sent his mind back to Christmas dinner with mom and dad.Rick stepped back. Wrong apartment, he thought. But when he checked the address, expecting to be on the wrong floor somehow, he was met with the very same number he saw every day. He considered calling the cops, but wanted to know the actual situation before making that decision. So, flicked-open pocket knife in hand, he very slowly pushed the door open again.“Aren't you coming in?” A slender, bright-eyed young woman in an apron and a horribly ugly holiday sweater three sizes too large, only bare leg showing underneath its hem, was standing in the entryway. She giggled, fluffy blonde locks bouncing around peaked ears, and took Rick by the hand, gently tugging him inside. “Come on, silly, it's nice and warm. I have a fire going that's the perfect size for snuggling and supper just came out of the oven.”Ah, so a crazy person broke in. At least they…“A Fire!?” Rick asked as he pulled himself out of her grasp and ran further inside, desperately trying to remember where he kept the extinguisher. But he stopped when he saw what she really meant: his television was showing a video of a fireplace and putting out the smooth jazz version of Christmas favorites, & also a heater stationed below it provided heat along with what looked like a genuine polar bear skin rug.Jittering followed as the girl joined him. “I am sorry I couldn't have a real one tonight, but there was no fireplace so this is the best I could do. Now, let's get you fed while it's nice and piping hot, and then we can open presents.”A glance around the room revealed a small pine tree, dazzling with ornaments and laden with expertly-wrapped boxes underneath. Rick's dining room table held more food than it ever had before and glimmered with candlelight that danced gleefully as the girl dimmed the lights and retrieved the last item from the oven, coming around with a ceramic dish of bubbling, hot food to finish off the spread. She pulled a chair out for him to sit, pouting when he declined her service.“What is this and who are you?” Rick discreetly tucked his knife away.“This is Christmas dinner for my sweetie, of course. It'll start getting cold soon, so why don't I make you a plate?While she scooped Rick's plate with food, He considered his plan of action. The way she bounced to a beat, humming along with the television, the points of her ears were over-worldly?Rick reached out and tugged on one of the girl's ears. She yelped, tightening up so as not to drop the plate, and begged him with a tremble in her voice, “Sweetie, please don't.”When he released her, she set his place at the table and did the same for herself. He took his seat.“Merry Christmas, my sweet one. While you were away, Santa came along and dropped off a bunch of presents for you. I thought you would like the surprise and we could eat first before talking, but I guess I crossed a line, haven't I?”Rick put a bite of ham in his mouth, the girl brightening up as he started to eat.It had to be one of the most delicious things he'd had the pleasure to shove in his face. Mom's cooking, with its nostalgic advantage was still blown out of the water, and Rick felt sorry that he would never get to taste this for the first time again. Too soon it was all gone and the girl was carrying out a plate of apple and chocolate pie with ice cream on the side. This too didn't last and something about her constant giggling warmed him inside in a way he couldn't very well describe.As he finished the last bite of chocolate pie, she came over to his chair & wrapped herself around his neck from behind, softness and warmth pressing into his back and fluffy, blonde hair tickling his cheek. “Oh, Messy boy” she said, and leaned forward to smooch a crumb off his cheek.Before Rick could object, as little as he was inclined to, she had already slipped away to put dishes in the sink and his back felt uncomfortably cold with her absence.“That was pretty good; amazing actually.” Rick said, “But seriously, who are you? Did one of my friends hire you or something?” He dismissed the idea. “No, my mother? She's one of the only people with a key to my place. Unless; it was the landlady?”The girl stretched in the warm air with a luxurious moan escaping peachy lips, the neck of her XXL sweater spilling over a shoulder, exposing so much skin underneath that it was impossible for her to be wearing anything underneath. “I'm an elf!” she proclaimed. She curtsied, at least there were denim cutoff shorts underneath the sweater.  Rick just stared.“Didn't you hear me? Santa came by, because you were such a good boy, and we set all this up for you. Well, not to toot my own horn, but I did all the cooking and decorating, Santa brought presents. Oh, and I'm Sugarbell. I'm here to make your Christmas wish come true!”She'd taken a pose as if she was popping out of a giant layer cake; like there should be celebratory confetti shooting out. But she just stood there in awkward silence.Rick sighed, so she was a crazy chick after all. “Okay, miss elf, why don't you get out of here before I have to call the police. And how did you get in here anyway?”“Magic,” Sugarbell said, looking crestfallen, her ears drooping.“You're not giving me a good argument not to call the police. Can you at least take off the fake ears so we can really talk about this?”“Fake? Sweetie? She skipped over to a green sack by the door and plucked out a wrinkled, yellowed piece of paper. "Ahem,‘Dear Santa, I've been a good boy all year if you don't count that stuff that my sister says and all I really want is a girlfriend.' and then there's a colored pencil drawing of a girl with black pigtails who I think is your crush. ‘It's okay if I don't get one, I know that's asking for a lot, but it doesn't look like mom and Dave are going to be able to give out lots of toys this year, so don't worry about it if you can't. Merry Christmas. BTW I'm making snickerdoodles this year, so make sure you grab your share before Dave can steal them all again.'and there's your signature.”She handed the letter over for inspection. It was definitely his handwriting, his drawing skills from almost two decades ago…“So you were sent by my mother. You could have just said that and we'd have been fine. I'm sorry, she's pushy but I know she means well… should have told me I'd have company and I would have skipped that party. Anyway, what's your actual name?”“I'm Sugarbell. And I wasn't sent by her, Santa brought me. Here, look.” She tugged on her ear, leaning up so Rick could look closely. It was either real or the seam of the rubber was so well hidden that it might as well be. “I suppose this would be a little hard to believe for an adult. Sorry, I haven't actually spoken with a human for a few years.”Rick shook his head. “Your makeup's good, I'll give you that.”Rick angled his hips so the elf wouldn't notice a certain reflex to her melding to his shape. She was incredibly soft in his arms, just short of purring, the smell of peppermint coming off as she rubbed against him.Sugarbell stared up at him, her wide, green eyes shining with reflected candlelight. “But I'm not a crazy. I…” She went to the polar bearskin rug in front of the television, so big for the room that it bunched up against the walls in that corner, took a seat and patted the place beside her for him to take. Rick was not so troubled as he was amused, so he sat next to her on the rug in front of the sofa, facing the fake fire. She rested her head against his shoulder and twined her fingers in his with no resistance.“Um…” he said, “You got me, I guess, but what is all this?”“It's a little embarrassing for all of us who screwed up,” she said, “You see, back when we got that letter, we were using a new kind of mail bag and, as we would soon find out, letters would sometimes get caught in the seams. And the elf in charge of distributing letters wasn't especially conscientious. Rather than going through the trouble of digging out the trapped ones as he knew there would be, they instead ended up stuck inside, in a pile in the corner of the sorting room. It wouldn't have been that much of a problem, aside from that one elf's termination we would have just sorted through when we found the pile and spread out what good will we could. But then we arrived at your letter.”“I mean, I was a dumb 10 year old kid. It's not something I would ask for these days.”Sugarbell airily giggled, her cheek burned against his arm. “Sweetie, that wasn't the problem. We get so many requests for things like that; puppies, little brothers or sisters, a bunch-a edgy. Usually, we'd plan on whatever we could. Are the parents getting a pet? Is someone pregnant or likely to be? If not, a stuffed animal or baby doll would do the trick, and plastic weapons are wholesome enough as it is. The trouble came in an unfortunate fact: you were in the top hundred of the nice list that year.”“First of all, I don't believe you, but why would it be an issue?”“Top hundred and a random assortment on top of that get their wish, period. According to our records, you didn't submit one… had we known what you wanted, we couldn't very well kidnap someone and brainwash them, but we absolutely could have an elf facilitate a meeting, and stick around to help out a burgeoning romance. Of course, we didn't find your letter in the pile until this year. It wouldn't do for us to get off with as light as a card and a toy anymore, so here I am.” Sugarbell hugged his arm tightly to her chest and kissed his cheek. “I'm your present this year. Sorry it took so long for your wish to come true.” It doesn't make up for the twenty years you've lost, but We can only fix today.Rick reeled from the stream of revelations, not the least of which being that Santa was a real guy. And here was an eager, adorable, blonde lovely thing clinging to him, unwittingly giving him quite the show as her sweater's wide neck dipped down with her promised land hiding behind a tantalizing, flickering shadow. He averted his eyes, hoping she couldn't feel his heart going crazy through his palm, but her puckish smile said that she knew very well the effect her supple, inviting cuddliness was having.He paused. “So Santa just gave me one of his elves? What, did you draw the short stick?”“We're not slaves, you know. It's a career.”As he leaned back, supported by the sofa seat; Sugarbell straddled into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. There was no way she couldn't feel the ‘wooden soldier' poking her thighs from below. “Upon discovery of your letter, several of us thought that we could still make your wish come true, so Santa put out a call for volunteers. I won.” Before he could respond, she leaned into him, rocking him onto his back while she straddled; her warm, green eyes glittering in the false firelight on the tv as she came in for a transient peck on the lips. Then she teased him by hopping up and padding over to the kitchen.From where he lay, Rick watched her pull a tray from the oven and came back to the fire to kneel beside him.He asked, “People volunteered to be with me?” It was hard to imagine even two women fighting over him.Sugarbell frowned like she knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later and could no longer be postponed. “Fifty of us young lady elves entered the pool. We played rock paper scissors for the position, and I won the tournament.Of course; if you don't want me, I'm sure we can drop someone else off for you. Any one of them would love to take my place.”“I just can't believe it.” Rick sat up and drew her into his arms, sitting her on one leg so the soldier couldn't get in the way. It seemed that she prepared to be rejected at this point, and he'd said so much to make her think he would, threatened to have her removed by the authorities after all.“It's a lot to take in, you know? How the heck was I in the top hundred? I don't remember doing anything especially great. Why not give my place to one of those prodigies out saving the rainforest or whatever?”She'd relaxed in his arms, nestled into the crook of his shoulder and curled in her slender legs. “We take lots of factors into consideration. The kindest people don't pay attention to how kind they are. They just do the right thing."And I thought you were a home invader.”“Nuh-uh.” She wiggled herself up until her lips touched his earlobe and whispered, “It's only home invasion when the owner doesn't want you there. Tell me who laid out milk and cookies all those years? Wasn't that you?”Her nuzzling and shimmying had tugged the overlarge neck of her sweater so far down across one shoulder that she was in danger of revealing herself from just the swell of her curvaceous breast with every breath, not that it seemed she would mind. Sugarbell wagged her pert butt in his lap, her fingers wandered underneath his sweatshirt and sweetly tugged at the t-shirt underneath when she found it was tucked in. The same breath which raised her chest came to him as a cool breeze on his neck.She said, “Tell me, what's the one thing you've always wanted to do, that you couldn't without a girlfriend?” One corner of his undershirt came free from his jeans.It was too fast, Rick hugged her tighter, trapping her hands to squirm uselessly against his belly. He grabbed her sweater and pulled the neck back off her shoulder, saving her from the risk of exposure. Giggling wildly, she plunged her hands under his plain gray sweatshirt and tickled his armpits without mercy until it was just too much to bear and Rick fell sideways, holding in suppressed laughter, landing onto his back.But it didn't end, Sugarbell seized the moment of his weakness and took hold of the sweatshirt's hem, pulling the whole thing up above his head in a smooth motion and trapping his arms in a cottony prison. She laid herself over his chest and at last succeeded in untucking his shirt. Meanwhile his bulge rested between the two cheeks of her very toned ass, and she rubbed against it with her subtle motions.Eagerness burned in her rosy cheeks. Her downy, golden hair fell around their faces, dividing them from the world, but a few deep breaths later, her giggling petered out and she rolled off, spending the last of her laughter beside him on the floor.“Sorry, sorry, we haven't even eaten dessert yet.” she said breathlessly, jumping up and scurrying back to the kitchen.Rick discarded his sweatshirt; it was already getting too warm for him. Watching on as Sugarbell's perky rear bounced away did nothing for dissipating his erection, begging him as it was, to just get on with it already. It didn't have long to calm down before she returned with a plate of tiny, pink cookies.“No, don't get up,” she said as she set the plate down on the rug, “Go ahead and try one, I'll pick a present for both of us, from the North Pole team.”The first bite of the little cookie exploded with crispy flakiness and a sophisticated undertone of strawberry. Rick snuck a second cookie before Sugarbell had time to return from the tree, with a couple gifts.“These are incredible!” he blurted through a cheekful of crumbs.She took one for herself and examined it between pinched fingers. “I wish I had more time to make them. It's the little touches that make the difference, but I wasn't able to let the egg whites get to room temperature before I beat them. And I know they say you can use a hand mixer to get the same results, but I think merenge needs the personal touch of a handheld whisk, even if it takes longer.”“What are you talking about? They're delicious.”Sugarbell sat next to him, leaning against the sofa, and kissed his cheek. Then sliding a present into his lap to open. “They're called sugarbells. My mom's version is so much better than mine.”Rick looked at the gift tag, but the sender's name was in Cyrillic so it was hopeless to try reading it. “Where did all these come from anyway?”“Let's see… that one's from the workshop, most of them are. The sender is an elf named Tart. Technically it's actually Tort, but that's what he prefers.”Rather than carefully preserve the beauty of the wrapping on her gift, Sugarbell plunged her fingertip under a flap and ripped the paper off in a single ragged chunk. She tipped the lid up to see inside, yelped, and put the package out of reach.“What was it?” Rick asked. The box was on her other side and she leaned in the way of his arm when he started reaching around to get at it.“Well, it was, uh,” she stammered, eyes darting back and forth until she realized there wasn't a way out of telling him the truth. “It's something of a gift to both of us, from the workshop's confectioner.” She waved him close and whispered with a warm breath against his ear, “Edible underwear.”Before he could respond with his own bewilderment, Sugarbell crawled away to fetch another pair of presents from the pile. She wouldn't look him in the eye when she thrust the next one into his hands. Did she think she hadn't already crossed the line from adorable into suggestive, or was it just too much to be hit smack in the face with the implications? This self-conscious side of her was adorable in its own way too.He decided to prod her. “Alright,” he said, “New rule: no hiding anything, and presents have to be tried out right away. Okay?”Sugarbell nodded solemnly and began drawing the hem of her sweater up, laying bare her tight, smooth belly, and was saved at the last moment when it crested her ribs and Rick caught her wrist.His bluff overwhelmingly called, Rick let her off easy and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, I just meant we should show off what we got. No need to strip right here and now.”“So,” Rick said, uneasy in his seat, “Are there going to be any of these that aren't… romantic?”At least Sugarbell looked ruffled too, swaying on her knees after pulling out another couple gifts. “Most of these are from elves who really wanted to be with you tonight instead of me.” She stuffed a cookie in her face rather than continue explaining.They opened the next wave of gifts in one fell swoop of torn paper and ribbon to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Out came a matching set of horrendously ugly sweaters in their respective sizes and a book titled 'guide to faeries' which Sugarbell suspiciously slid underneath the pile without mentioning in any way.Rick said, “Well, at least we haven't found any dildos…” There was a pregnant pause as Sugarbell's eyes flicked toward a long, slim present leaned up against the wall.Sugarbell reverently set each box before them and for the first time went to the trouble of finding an edge to peel back instead of ripping the thing to shreds in a festive feeding frenzy. “These two,” she said, “Are from Santa himself.”In the first box, addressed to Rick, there was a wooden doll in the shape of a tiny, flaxen-haired elf complete with a red dress and curly-toed shoes festooned with actual, minuscule bells.The other package, Sugarbell's, opened to reveal a group photo with dozens of short people trying to get their heads in frame all at once, almost crowding out the wizened man in the center. She held it close to her chest for a long moment and set it aside.“Good thing that's the last of them, garbage bag is near to bursting.” Rick said.“That wasn't the last one.” She tugged on his shirt to keep him in place before he could retreat to take out the trash.“What do you mean, did I miss one under the tree?”Sugarbell crawled behind him and when he tried to look, she gently turned his face away. Moments later, the muffled sound of wool dropping on the carpet came amid the soft jazz Christmas carols and the crackle of fire. Pale arms enveloped his neck and naked softness pressed against his nape. “You still have one more present to unwrap.” she whispered.He took her hands in his and pushed down his feelings; this was too good to be true. “It's okay, I understand everything now. I had a lot of fun tonight and I appreciate the gesture, but you don't have to go that far for someone like me.”She slid down his back like dripping cream and he felt her lips lay a line of pecks up from his neck to his ear. She whispered; “There's such a thing as being too nice, you know. A girl might get her feelings hurt like that.”Her tongue ran the length of his earlobe and she nibbled at it as a penalty. Her voice was sultry and inviting; “I'm not wearing a bra, can't you feel that?” She rubbed herself against him to ensure he would feel her firm nipples tickling across his back. “Does it feel like I'm coerced? Or do I seem like the kind of girl who would act this way for just anyone? We found that letter six months ago… I've been watching you, falling in love with you, for so long.” Each passing day my desire for you has grown.“There's no way…”“No way someone like me could fall for someone like you?” Sugarbell bit his neck. If only the really big things counted toward being good, there would be so few good people, wouldn't there?“"I mean, as long as you're okay with it.”There was some rustling behind his back as Sugarbell wriggled and reached back, producing her little, denim shorts so he could see and dropping them in his lap. The girl hugging herself so tightly to his back was wearing nothing but panties and moaned into his ear, “Carry me to the bed, please?”Libido won out; Rick turned and scooped her up to a giddy squeal, as her legs locked around his waist, Rick was blessed with handfuls of bouncy ass and hurriedly carried her to the his room to set her down in bed.She'd done her magic in there as well, ceiling hung with red and gold garlands, mistletoe above each doorway. The bedspread was made with a quilted comforter patterned with reindeer frolicking across the tundra. It was obvious that she wanted to end up in there from the start.Sugarbell pulled his head down for a kiss, prodding between his lips with the tip of her tongue, eagerly melding herself to his body, mingling her tongue with his. They came apart with a heavy breath, forgetting how long they had been under. She covertly undid the buckle of his belt and tugged his pants down into a heap at his feet, then delved underneath his t-shirt again, spread her delicate fingers across his chest, and pressed herself into him as he drew it over his head.Abruptly, she tweaked his nipples and retreated before he could retaliate, plopping herself on his bedspread and, calming herself a pinch, spread her knees apart. The one article of clothing between them was a pair of red, lacy panties with a cotton sprig of mistletoe hung by a little bow. As Rick gawked at the dainty outline. The panties were tied at both hips, with stretch lace straps. Sugarbell squirmed, her own gaze flitting to and from his growing erection, but she kept her legs open.“It's mistletoe…” she said quietly.“Um, yeah.”“You know what that means, don't you?”In answer, Rick crawled down and kissed her thigh. Her fingers twined in his hair and an unrestricted murmur of pleasure came from above, encouraging him to advance toward her heat, laying kisses all the way up her creamy thigh until he was inches away from her warm aroma. The fabric was in the way, but he could feel her silkiness on his lips, against his tongue.Her fingers left their comfortable place in his hair to pull on the knots at her hips, let her panties fall away and revealed bare, pink skin.Rick wasted no time, pushed forward to kiss her again, running his tongue along her lips, pausing to pin in his mind the spots where she moaned or her leg twitched against his head. Already he could feel wetness on his tongue, heat spreading throughout her body. A chorus of gasps and moans fell from above and quick peeks down below showed that Sugarbell's toes were curling. Pride swelled in his chest as he smooched and licked her most sensitive spots.“Okay, stop,” Sugarbell pushed his head away and sighed, falling back for a second before rolling backwards onto her knees on the bed. “Come here,” she said, patting the space beside her, “Lie down right here, on you back.”He obeyed and had a shock. He would have said something, but a lingering lick up his shaft to the tip stole his words with a moan. Delicate fingers wrapped around it and gently stroked as she nestled against his thigh and lapped at his balls, merrily humming as she took pleasure in the situation.Popping a testicle in her mouth and swirling it around with her tongue, Sugarbell's pert ass swayed in the air, her other hand wandering up her leg so she could rub herself against her palm. Rick could only reach down to pet her head as she suckled.Sugarbell slowly ran her tongue around the rim of his glans, so sensitive that Rick almost lost himself in the pleasure, but he relished every moment of those bright, green eyes bobbing down on him.She took him deeper into her mouth, rubbing the tip of his cock against the inside, bulging her rosy cheek like a chipmunk. Her hips bucked against her hand and mewls of pleasure escaped from her glistening lips, bringing Rick to the just before the point of no return where his whole body clenched to keep the amazing feeling from ending.And she flopped limp between his legs, tenderly lapping at his balls as his cock twitched for release in her hand. "Come on, sweetie pie,” she said, “Isn't there somewhere else you'd like to do that?”Rick sat up and pulled her into his lap facing him; where her soft slit straddled his throbbing erection. “Do you have any protection?” he asked.Sugarbell bent her head into his chest and sputtered laughter. “Like I said, there's such a thing as being too nice.” She guided the tip of his cock to her entrance and started putting weight on it, softly grunting with the effort of fitting him inside, squealed when it pushed in the first inch.“Does it hurt?”“Shut up.” she moaned, hugging herself close so he couldn't see the pain in her eyes and insist they stop. “I j-just need to get used to it, okay?”Over the next minute her warm tightness enveloped his cock inch by inch until Sugarbell's butt rested comfortably in his lap and she breathed a sigh of relief. Rick turned up her chin for a kiss, hoping their intertwined tongues would distract from the pain, stroking her creamy, pale skin with special attention paid to her ticklish spots, taking a breast in hand and fiddling with a nipple like a hard pebble. Her sighs of pleasure washed against his chest and she closed her eyes to enjoy each touch to its fullest, savoring the feeling of fullness in her loins.She snaked her arms around him, linking her fingers behind his back, and began swirling her hips, gently moving his cock inside her, sliding her bouncy ass across his thighs. He felt like he could burst at any minute, couldn't resist taking a handful of ass, causing a refreshing whimper against his chest as he squeezed.Rick buried his face in her fluffy, golden hair to keep his senses, taking in the invigorating scent of peppermint and sweat. Little tickles made moaned giggles fall on his ears and Sugarbell slowly became more comfortable with his size, increasing her motion's intensity until she was almost thrusting against his last inch.Her bright, green eyes appeared again as Rick surprised Sugarbell by slowly flipping her down onto her back. He kept the last pace she was comfortable with, guided by her tiny, urging moans to start going faster and deeper. She splayed her arms above her head and gripped the pillow she found there, handing over control to him with her legs wrapped around his waist.Free to go wild, Rick slowly pulled out and pushed himself back in to the hilt, leering at the way Sugarbell squirmed underneath, her breast rippling with sharp breaths. Then again, a bit faster, and again until he was properly thrusting, and he joined the chorus of moans.Sugarbell pulled his head down into a kiss and shakily whispered, “Harder~”He grabbed her waist, ramming himself inside her pussy as she wriggled in ecstasy, bright eyes rolled back and she bit his shoulder in anticipation of the finale. It came on like a wave, forcing him as deep as he could go, balls slapping against wet ass cheeks as he flooded her tight pussy and she tightened in gratification, overwhelmed by sensation as Rick pounded inside her.When the moment of passion had passed, Rick laid at her side as she relaxed into quiet contentment. But it didn't last long before she crawled atop him, laying her head on his chest humming a festive tune.“That was amazing.” he said, absentmindedly stroking her hair.Sugarbell kissed his chest. “Lots better than your hand, isn't it? Heh, you're pretty big. Human girls don't know what they're missing out on.” Her fingertips traced the way down between his legs, wrapped around his shrinking dick and said, “Good job, mister, wanna take me for another spin?”Rick laughed and she rubbed herself against his chest as she joined in, bright eyes merrily twinkling.“Can't fault a girl for trying, can you? It is two in the morning I suppose. Christmas night's almost over and done.” She tugged up the blanket they'd displaced and snuggled herself against him, pointy ear tickling his neck, and hummed a lullaby as the day's exhaustion made sleep less and less voluntary.The morning sun muddled through snow-filled clouds to gently wake Rick. He'd slept clean through the usual time, had a transient shock before remembering the office would be closed for the week.And he was alone.Last night had to have happened. Peppermint lingered in the air and a hickey stung on his neck, but she wasn't there. Of course, he thought, it was a monkey's paw. She'd said she was a Christmas present, and the day had passed…He forced himself out of bed and dressed, then headed for the kitchen.Where a woman in a red turtleneck and costume antlers was using the stove.“Morning, sleepy-head~” Sugarbell cooed, “I'm almost done with brunch so go ahead and take a seat.”“You're still here.”“Of course I am, why? Oh, there's nowhere I need to be.”“I thought I was only going to get the one night.”Sugarbell turned off the stove and set the table with leftover ham omelets and freshly-baked cinnamon rolls. “That's not a girlfriend, that's a one-night stand.” she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, “And we still have to continue where we left off after all.”By Demi urging for Literotica

Steamy Stories
A Late Great Christmas Gift

Steamy Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2022


Santa & His Team Makes Up For A North Pole Screw-Up.By Demi Urging. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.It's the wee hours of December 26th. Rick is finally shoving the last of his teetering friends through their front door, He volunteered to be designated driver again, for about half a dozen friends & co-workers.Another Christmas gathering passed as the clock ticked into the next day and it seemed he'd be single again into the new year. He thought he would have gotten over it by age thirty. He did have a pity date from last year  for New Year's Eve. It hadn't been a nice date, either; she stayed for a single kiss at midnight and left without another word. The same woman has a boyfriend this year, so Rick couldn't ask again even if his pride would allow it. Now he'll get plenty of sleep.The only sign of the holidays in his life was the box of fudge sitting on his counter, Which his elderly neighbor gave him the night before Christmas.He wouldn't even eat it tonight. Sleep had to come first, then he had a week off, since the boss knew most of the team would be useless if he had them come in that week.Climbing the stairs, he smelled something delectable, coming out of the 4th floor stairwell. He thought one of his neighbors must have made actual food instead of subsisting on beer and crackers like his friends had. Maybe he would eat some of that fudge after all, since a glass of water and a handful of crackers in the face of a home-cooked meal seemed inadequate.It had to be Miss Thompson. Rick thought that the old gal had gone off to the country for the day to visit with her kids, but the smell of his mom's ham with orange & clove seasoning didn't lie, and it was absolutely coming from somewhere on this floor, getting stronger as he approached his own apartment.Taking a final pleasant sniff before entering his lonely apartment, Rick turned, halfway opened his front door, and was smacked in the face with a bouquet of aromas that sent his mind back to Christmas dinner with mom and dad.Rick stepped back. Wrong apartment, he thought. But when he checked the address, expecting to be on the wrong floor somehow, he was met with the very same number he saw every day. He considered calling the cops, but wanted to know the actual situation before making that decision. So, flicked-open pocket knife in hand, he very slowly pushed the door open again.“Aren't you coming in?” A slender, bright-eyed young woman in an apron and a horribly ugly holiday sweater three sizes too large, only bare leg showing underneath its hem, was standing in the entryway. She giggled, fluffy blonde locks bouncing around peaked ears, and took Rick by the hand, gently tugging him inside. “Come on, silly, it's nice and warm. I have a fire going that's the perfect size for snuggling and supper just came out of the oven.”Ah, so a crazy person broke in. At least they…“A Fire!?” Rick asked as he pulled himself out of her grasp and ran further inside, desperately trying to remember where he kept the extinguisher. But he stopped when he saw what she really meant: his television was showing a video of a fireplace and putting out the smooth jazz version of Christmas favorites, & also a heater stationed below it provided heat along with what looked like a genuine polar bear skin rug.Jittering followed as the girl joined him. “I am sorry I couldn't have a real one tonight, but there was no fireplace so this is the best I could do. Now, let's get you fed while it's nice and piping hot, and then we can open presents.”A glance around the room revealed a small pine tree, dazzling with ornaments and laden with expertly-wrapped boxes underneath. Rick's dining room table held more food than it ever had before and glimmered with candlelight that danced gleefully as the girl dimmed the lights and retrieved the last item from the oven, coming around with a ceramic dish of bubbling, hot food to finish off the spread. She pulled a chair out for him to sit, pouting when he declined her service.“What is this and who are you?” Rick discreetly tucked his knife away.“This is Christmas dinner for my sweetie, of course. It'll start getting cold soon, so why don't I make you a plate?While she scooped Rick's plate with food, He considered his plan of action. The way she bounced to a beat, humming along with the television, the points of her ears were over-worldly?Rick reached out and tugged on one of the girl's ears. She yelped, tightening up so as not to drop the plate, and begged him with a tremble in her voice, “Sweetie, please don't.”When he released her, she set his place at the table and did the same for herself. He took his seat.“Merry Christmas, my sweet one. While you were away, Santa came along and dropped off a bunch of presents for you. I thought you would like the surprise and we could eat first before talking, but I guess I crossed a line, haven't I?”Rick put a bite of ham in his mouth, the girl brightening up as he started to eat.It had to be one of the most delicious things he'd had the pleasure to shove in his face. Mom's cooking, with its nostalgic advantage was still blown out of the water, and Rick felt sorry that he would never get to taste this for the first time again. Too soon it was all gone and the girl was carrying out a plate of apple and chocolate pie with ice cream on the side. This too didn't last and something about her constant giggling warmed him inside in a way he couldn't very well describe.As he finished the last bite of chocolate pie, she came over to his chair & wrapped herself around his neck from behind, softness and warmth pressing into his back and fluffy, blonde hair tickling his cheek. “Oh, Messy boy” she said, and leaned forward to smooch a crumb off his cheek.Before Rick could object, as little as he was inclined to, she had already slipped away to put dishes in the sink and his back felt uncomfortably cold with her absence.“That was pretty good; amazing actually.” Rick said, “But seriously, who are you? Did one of my friends hire you or something?” He dismissed the idea. “No, my mother? She's one of the only people with a key to my place. Unless; it was the landlady?”The girl stretched in the warm air with a luxurious moan escaping peachy lips, the neck of her XXL sweater spilling over a shoulder, exposing so much skin underneath that it was impossible for her to be wearing anything underneath. “I'm an elf!” she proclaimed. She curtsied, at least there were denim cutoff shorts underneath the sweater.  Rick just stared.“Didn't you hear me? Santa came by, because you were such a good boy, and we set all this up for you. Well, not to toot my own horn, but I did all the cooking and decorating, Santa brought presents. Oh, and I'm Sugarbell. I'm here to make your Christmas wish come true!”She'd taken a pose as if she was popping out of a giant layer cake; like there should be celebratory confetti shooting out. But she just stood there in awkward silence.Rick sighed, so she was a crazy chick after all. “Okay, miss elf, why don't you get out of here before I have to call the police. And how did you get in here anyway?”“Magic,” Sugarbell said, looking crestfallen, her ears drooping.“You're not giving me a good argument not to call the police. Can you at least take off the fake ears so we can really talk about this?”“Fake? Sweetie? She skipped over to a green sack by the door and plucked out a wrinkled, yellowed piece of paper. "Ahem,‘Dear Santa, I've been a good boy all year if you don't count that stuff that my sister says and all I really want is a girlfriend.' and then there's a colored pencil drawing of a girl with black pigtails who I think is your crush. ‘It's okay if I don't get one, I know that's asking for a lot, but it doesn't look like mom and Dave are going to be able to give out lots of toys this year, so don't worry about it if you can't. Merry Christmas. BTW I'm making snickerdoodles this year, so make sure you grab your share before Dave can steal them all again.'and there's your signature.”She handed the letter over for inspection. It was definitely his handwriting, his drawing skills from almost two decades ago…“So you were sent by my mother. You could have just said that and we'd have been fine. I'm sorry, she's pushy but I know she means well… should have told me I'd have company and I would have skipped that party. Anyway, what's your actual name?”“I'm Sugarbell. And I wasn't sent by her, Santa brought me. Here, look.” She tugged on her ear, leaning up so Rick could look closely. It was either real or the seam of the rubber was so well hidden that it might as well be. “I suppose this would be a little hard to believe for an adult. Sorry, I haven't actually spoken with a human for a few years.”Rick shook his head. “Your makeup's good, I'll give you that.”Rick angled his hips so the elf wouldn't notice a certain reflex to her melding to his shape. She was incredibly soft in his arms, just short of purring, the smell of peppermint coming off as she rubbed against him.Sugarbell stared up at him, her wide, green eyes shining with reflected candlelight. “But I'm not a crazy. I…” She went to the polar bearskin rug in front of the television, so big for the room that it bunched up against the walls in that corner, took a seat and patted the place beside her for him to take. Rick was not so troubled as he was amused, so he sat next to her on the rug in front of the sofa, facing the fake fire. She rested her head against his shoulder and twined her fingers in his with no resistance.“Um…” he said, “You got me, I guess, but what is all this?”“It's a little embarrassing for all of us who screwed up,” she said, “You see, back when we got that letter, we were using a new kind of mail bag and, as we would soon find out, letters would sometimes get caught in the seams. And the elf in charge of distributing letters wasn't especially conscientious. Rather than going through the trouble of digging out the trapped ones as he knew there would be, they instead ended up stuck inside, in a pile in the corner of the sorting room. It wouldn't have been that much of a problem, aside from that one elf's termination we would have just sorted through when we found the pile and spread out what good will we could. But then we arrived at your letter.”“I mean, I was a dumb 10 year old kid. It's not something I would ask for these days.”Sugarbell airily giggled, her cheek burned against his arm. “Sweetie, that wasn't the problem. We get so many requests for things like that; puppies, little brothers or sisters, a bunch-a edgy. Usually, we'd plan on whatever we could. Are the parents getting a pet? Is someone pregnant or likely to be? If not, a stuffed animal or baby doll would do the trick, and plastic weapons are wholesome enough as it is. The trouble came in an unfortunate fact: you were in the top hundred of the nice list that year.”“First of all, I don't believe you, but why would it be an issue?”“Top hundred and a random assortment on top of that get their wish, period. According to our records, you didn't submit one… had we known what you wanted, we couldn't very well kidnap someone and brainwash them, but we absolutely could have an elf facilitate a meeting, and stick around to help out a burgeoning romance. Of course, we didn't find your letter in the pile until this year. It wouldn't do for us to get off with as light as a card and a toy anymore, so here I am.” Sugarbell hugged his arm tightly to her chest and kissed his cheek. “I'm your present this year. Sorry it took so long for your wish to come true.” It doesn't make up for the twenty years you've lost, but We can only fix today.Rick reeled from the stream of revelations, not the least of which being that Santa was a real guy. And here was an eager, adorable, blonde lovely thing clinging to him, unwittingly giving him quite the show as her sweater's wide neck dipped down with her promised land hiding behind a tantalizing, flickering shadow. He averted his eyes, hoping she couldn't feel his heart going crazy through his palm, but her puckish smile said that she knew very well the effect her supple, inviting cuddliness was having.He paused. “So Santa just gave me one of his elves? What, did you draw the short stick?”“We're not slaves, you know. It's a career.”As he leaned back, supported by the sofa seat; Sugarbell straddled into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. There was no way she couldn't feel the ‘wooden soldier' poking her thighs from below. “Upon discovery of your letter, several of us thought that we could still make your wish come true, so Santa put out a call for volunteers. I won.” Before he could respond, she leaned into him, rocking him onto his back while she straddled; her warm, green eyes glittering in the false firelight on the tv as she came in for a transient peck on the lips. Then she teased him by hopping up and padding over to the kitchen.From where he lay, Rick watched her pull a tray from the oven and came back to the fire to kneel beside him.He asked, “People volunteered to be with me?” It was hard to imagine even two women fighting over him.Sugarbell frowned like she knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later and could no longer be postponed. “Fifty of us young lady elves entered the pool. We played rock paper scissors for the position, and I won the tournament.Of course; if you don't want me, I'm sure we can drop someone else off for you. Any one of them would love to take my place.”“I just can't believe it.” Rick sat up and drew her into his arms, sitting her on one leg so the soldier couldn't get in the way. It seemed that she prepared to be rejected at this point, and he'd said so much to make her think he would, threatened to have her removed by the authorities after all.“It's a lot to take in, you know? How the heck was I in the top hundred? I don't remember doing anything especially great. Why not give my place to one of those prodigies out saving the rainforest or whatever?”She'd relaxed in his arms, nestled into the crook of his shoulder and curled in her slender legs. “We take lots of factors into consideration. The kindest people don't pay attention to how kind they are. They just do the right thing."And I thought you were a home invader.”“Nuh-uh.” She wiggled herself up until her lips touched his earlobe and whispered, “It's only home invasion when the owner doesn't want you there. Tell me who laid out milk and cookies all those years? Wasn't that you?”Her nuzzling and shimmying had tugged the overlarge neck of her sweater so far down across one shoulder that she was in danger of revealing herself from just the swell of her curvaceous breast with every breath, not that it seemed she would mind. Sugarbell wagged her pert butt in his lap, her fingers wandered underneath his sweatshirt and sweetly tugged at the t-shirt underneath when she found it was tucked in. The same breath which raised her chest came to him as a cool breeze on his neck.She said, “Tell me, what's the one thing you've always wanted to do, that you couldn't without a girlfriend?” One corner of his undershirt came free from his jeans.It was too fast, Rick hugged her tighter, trapping her hands to squirm uselessly against his belly. He grabbed her sweater and pulled the neck back off her shoulder, saving her from the risk of exposure. Giggling wildly, she plunged her hands under his plain gray sweatshirt and tickled his armpits without mercy until it was just too much to bear and Rick fell sideways, holding in suppressed laughter, landing onto his back.But it didn't end, Sugarbell seized the moment of his weakness and took hold of the sweatshirt's hem, pulling the whole thing up above his head in a smooth motion and trapping his arms in a cottony prison. She laid herself over his chest and at last succeeded in untucking his shirt. Meanwhile his bulge rested between the two cheeks of her very toned ass, and she rubbed against it with her subtle motions.Eagerness burned in her rosy cheeks. Her downy, golden hair fell around their faces, dividing them from the world, but a few deep breaths later, her giggling petered out and she rolled off, spending the last of her laughter beside him on the floor.“Sorry, sorry, we haven't even eaten dessert yet.” she said breathlessly, jumping up and scurrying back to the kitchen.Rick discarded his sweatshirt; it was already getting too warm for him. Watching on as Sugarbell's perky rear bounced away did nothing for dissipating his erection, begging him as it was, to just get on with it already. It didn't have long to calm down before she returned with a plate of tiny, pink cookies.“No, don't get up,” she said as she set the plate down on the rug, “Go ahead and try one, I'll pick a present for both of us, from the North Pole team.”The first bite of the little cookie exploded with crispy flakiness and a sophisticated undertone of strawberry. Rick snuck a second cookie before Sugarbell had time to return from the tree, with a couple gifts.“These are incredible!” he blurted through a cheekful of crumbs.She took one for herself and examined it between pinched fingers. “I wish I had more time to make them. It's the little touches that make the difference, but I wasn't able to let the egg whites get to room temperature before I beat them. And I know they say you can use a hand mixer to get the same results, but I think merenge needs the personal touch of a handheld whisk, even if it takes longer.”“What are you talking about? They're delicious.”Sugarbell sat next to him, leaning against the sofa, and kissed his cheek. Then sliding a present into his lap to open. “They're called sugarbells. My mom's version is so much better than mine.”Rick looked at the gift tag, but the sender's name was in Cyrillic so it was hopeless to try reading it. “Where did all these come from anyway?”“Let's see… that one's from the workshop, most of them are. The sender is an elf named Tart. Technically it's actually Tort, but that's what he prefers.”Rather than carefully preserve the beauty of the wrapping on her gift, Sugarbell plunged her fingertip under a flap and ripped the paper off in a single ragged chunk. She tipped the lid up to see inside, yelped, and put the package out of reach.“What was it?” Rick asked. The box was on her other side and she leaned in the way of his arm when he started reaching around to get at it.“Well, it was, uh,” she stammered, eyes darting back and forth until she realized there wasn't a way out of telling him the truth. “It's something of a gift to both of us, from the workshop's confectioner.” She waved him close and whispered with a warm breath against his ear, “Edible underwear.”Before he could respond with his own bewilderment, Sugarbell crawled away to fetch another pair of presents from the pile. She wouldn't look him in the eye when she thrust the next one into his hands. Did she think she hadn't already crossed the line from adorable into suggestive, or was it just too much to be hit smack in the face with the implications? This self-conscious side of her was adorable in its own way too.He decided to prod her. “Alright,” he said, “New rule: no hiding anything, and presents have to be tried out right away. Okay?”Sugarbell nodded solemnly and began drawing the hem of her sweater up, laying bare her tight, smooth belly, and was saved at the last moment when it crested her ribs and Rick caught her wrist.His bluff overwhelmingly called, Rick let her off easy and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, I just meant we should show off what we got. No need to strip right here and now.”“So,” Rick said, uneasy in his seat, “Are there going to be any of these that aren't… romantic?”At least Sugarbell looked ruffled too, swaying on her knees after pulling out another couple gifts. “Most of these are from elves who really wanted to be with you tonight instead of me.” She stuffed a cookie in her face rather than continue explaining.They opened the next wave of gifts in one fell swoop of torn paper and ribbon to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Out came a matching set of horrendously ugly sweaters in their respective sizes and a book titled 'guide to faeries' which Sugarbell suspiciously slid underneath the pile without mentioning in any way.Rick said, “Well, at least we haven't found any dildos…” There was a pregnant pause as Sugarbell's eyes flicked toward a long, slim present leaned up against the wall.Sugarbell reverently set each box before them and for the first time went to the trouble of finding an edge to peel back instead of ripping the thing to shreds in a festive feeding frenzy. “These two,” she said, “Are from Santa himself.”In the first box, addressed to Rick, there was a wooden doll in the shape of a tiny, flaxen-haired elf complete with a red dress and curly-toed shoes festooned with actual, minuscule bells.The other package, Sugarbell's, opened to reveal a group photo with dozens of short people trying to get their heads in frame all at once, almost crowding out the wizened man in the center. She held it close to her chest for a long moment and set it aside.“Good thing that's the last of them, garbage bag is near to bursting.” Rick said.“That wasn't the last one.” She tugged on his shirt to keep him in place before he could retreat to take out the trash.“What do you mean, did I miss one under the tree?”Sugarbell crawled behind him and when he tried to look, she gently turned his face away. Moments later, the muffled sound of wool dropping on the carpet came amid the soft jazz Christmas carols and the crackle of fire. Pale arms enveloped his neck and naked softness pressed against his nape. “You still have one more present to unwrap.” she whispered.He took her hands in his and pushed down his feelings; this was too good to be true. “It's okay, I understand everything now. I had a lot of fun tonight and I appreciate the gesture, but you don't have to go that far for someone like me.”She slid down his back like dripping cream and he felt her lips lay a line of pecks up from his neck to his ear. She whispered; “There's such a thing as being too nice, you know. A girl might get her feelings hurt like that.”Her tongue ran the length of his earlobe and she nibbled at it as a penalty. Her voice was sultry and inviting; “I'm not wearing a bra, can't you feel that?” She rubbed herself against him to ensure he would feel her firm nipples tickling across his back. “Does it feel like I'm coerced? Or do I seem like the kind of girl who would act this way for just anyone? We found that letter six months ago… I've been watching you, falling in love with you, for so long.” Each passing day my desire for you has grown.“There's no way…”“No way someone like me could fall for someone like you?” Sugarbell bit his neck. If only the really big things counted toward being good, there would be so few good people, wouldn't there?“"I mean, as long as you're okay with it.”There was some rustling behind his back as Sugarbell wriggled and reached back, producing her little, denim shorts so he could see and dropping them in his lap. The girl hugging herself so tightly to his back was wearing nothing but panties and moaned into his ear, “Carry me to the bed, please?”Libido won out; Rick turned and scooped her up to a giddy squeal, as her legs locked around his waist, Rick was blessed with handfuls of bouncy ass and hurriedly carried her to the his room to set her down in bed.She'd done her magic in there as well, ceiling hung with red and gold garlands, mistletoe above each doorway. The bedspread was made with a quilted comforter patterned with reindeer frolicking across the tundra. It was obvious that she wanted to end up in there from the start.Sugarbell pulled his head down for a kiss, prodding between his lips with the tip of her tongue, eagerly melding herself to his body, mingling her tongue with his. They came apart with a heavy breath, forgetting how long they had been under. She covertly undid the buckle of his belt and tugged his pants down into a heap at his feet, then delved underneath his t-shirt again, spread her delicate fingers across his chest, and pressed herself into him as he drew it over his head.Abruptly, she tweaked his nipples and retreated before he could retaliate, plopping herself on his bedspread and, calming herself a pinch, spread her knees apart. The one article of clothing between them was a pair of red, lacy panties with a cotton sprig of mistletoe hung by a little bow. As Rick gawked at the dainty outline. The panties were tied at both hips, with stretch lace straps. Sugarbell squirmed, her own gaze flitting to and from his growing erection, but she kept her legs open.“It's mistletoe…” she said quietly.“Um, yeah.”“You know what that means, don't you?”In answer, Rick crawled down and kissed her thigh. Her fingers twined in his hair and an unrestricted murmur of pleasure came from above, encouraging him to advance toward her heat, laying kisses all the way up her creamy thigh until he was inches away from her warm aroma. The fabric was in the way, but he could feel her silkiness on his lips, against his tongue.Her fingers left their comfortable place in his hair to pull on the knots at her hips, let her panties fall away and revealed bare, pink skin.Rick wasted no time, pushed forward to kiss her again, running his tongue along her lips, pausing to pin in his mind the spots where she moaned or her leg twitched against his head. Already he could feel wetness on his tongue, heat spreading throughout her body. A chorus of gasps and moans fell from above and quick peeks down below showed that Sugarbell's toes were curling. Pride swelled in his chest as he smooched and licked her most sensitive spots.“Okay, stop,” Sugarbell pushed his head away and sighed, falling back for a second before rolling backwards onto her knees on the bed. “Come here,” she said, patting the space beside her, “Lie down right here, on you back.”He obeyed and had a shock. He would have said something, but a lingering lick up his shaft to the tip stole his words with a moan. Delicate fingers wrapped around it and gently stroked as she nestled against his thigh and lapped at his balls, merrily humming as she took pleasure in the situation.Popping a testicle in her mouth and swirling it around with her tongue, Sugarbell's pert ass swayed in the air, her other hand wandering up her leg so she could rub herself against her palm. Rick could only reach down to pet her head as she suckled.Sugarbell slowly ran her tongue around the rim of his glans, so sensitive that Rick almost lost himself in the pleasure, but he relished every moment of those bright, green eyes bobbing down on him.She took him deeper into her mouth, rubbing the tip of his cock against the inside, bulging her rosy cheek like a chipmunk. Her hips bucked against her hand and mewls of pleasure escaped from her glistening lips, bringing Rick to the just before the point of no return where his whole body clenched to keep the amazing feeling from ending.And she flopped limp between his legs, tenderly lapping at his balls as his cock twitched for release in her hand. "Come on, sweetie pie,” she said, “Isn't there somewhere else you'd like to do that?”Rick sat up and pulled her into his lap facing him; where her soft slit straddled his throbbing erection. “Do you have any protection?” he asked.Sugarbell bent her head into his chest and sputtered laughter. “Like I said, there's such a thing as being too nice.” She guided the tip of his cock to her entrance and started putting weight on it, softly grunting with the effort of fitting him inside, squealed when it pushed in the first inch.“Does it hurt?”“Shut up.” she moaned, hugging herself close so he couldn't see the pain in her eyes and insist they stop. “I j-just need to get used to it, okay?”Over the next minute her warm tightness enveloped his cock inch by inch until Sugarbell's butt rested comfortably in his lap and she breathed a sigh of relief. Rick turned up her chin for a kiss, hoping their intertwined tongues would distract from the pain, stroking her creamy, pale skin with special attention paid to her ticklish spots, taking a breast in hand and fiddling with a nipple like a hard pebble. Her sighs of pleasure washed against his chest and she closed her eyes to enjoy each touch to its fullest, savoring the feeling of fullness in her loins.She snaked her arms around him, linking her fingers behind his back, and began swirling her hips, gently moving his cock inside her, sliding her bouncy ass across his thighs. He felt like he could burst at any minute, couldn't resist taking a handful of ass, causing a refreshing whimper against his chest as he squeezed.Rick buried his face in her fluffy, golden hair to keep his senses, taking in the invigorating scent of peppermint and sweat. Little tickles made moaned giggles fall on his ears and Sugarbell slowly became more comfortable with his size, increasing her motion's intensity until she was almost thrusting against his last inch.Her bright, green eyes appeared again as Rick surprised Sugarbell by slowly flipping her down onto her back. He kept the last pace she was comfortable with, guided by her tiny, urging moans to start going faster and deeper. She splayed her arms above her head and gripped the pillow she found there, handing over control to him with her legs wrapped around his waist.Free to go wild, Rick slowly pulled out and pushed himself back in to the hilt, leering at the way Sugarbell squirmed underneath, her breast rippling with sharp breaths. Then again, a bit faster, and again until he was properly thrusting, and he joined the chorus of moans.Sugarbell pulled his head down into a kiss and shakily whispered, “Harder~”He grabbed her waist, ramming himself inside her pussy as she wriggled in ecstasy, bright eyes rolled back and she bit his shoulder in anticipation of the finale. It came on like a wave, forcing him as deep as he could go, balls slapping against wet ass cheeks as he flooded her tight pussy and she tightened in gratification, overwhelmed by sensation as Rick pounded inside her.When the moment of passion had passed, Rick laid at her side as she relaxed into quiet contentment. But it didn't last long before she crawled atop him, laying her head on his chest humming a festive tune.“That was amazing.” he said, absentmindedly stroking her hair.Sugarbell kissed his chest. “Lots better than your hand, isn't it? Heh, you're pretty big. Human girls don't know what they're missing out on.” Her fingertips traced the way down between his legs, wrapped around his shrinking dick and said, “Good job, mister, wanna take me for another spin?”Rick laughed and she rubbed herself against his chest as she joined in, bright eyes merrily twinkling.“Can't fault a girl for trying, can you? It is two in the morning I suppose. Christmas night's almost over and done.” She tugged up the blanket they'd displaced and snuggled herself against him, pointy ear tickling his neck, and hummed a lullaby as the day's exhaustion made sleep less and less voluntary.The morning sun muddled through snow-filled clouds to gently wake Rick. He'd slept clean through the usual time, had a transient shock before remembering the office would be closed for the week.And he was alone.Last night had to have happened. Peppermint lingered in the air and a hickey stung on his neck, but she wasn't there. Of course, he thought, it was a monkey's paw. She'd said she was a Christmas present, and the day had passed…He forced himself out of bed and dressed, then headed for the kitchen.Where a woman in a red turtleneck and costume antlers was using the stove.“Morning, sleepy-head~” Sugarbell cooed, “I'm almost done with brunch so go ahead and take a seat.”“You're still here.”“Of course I am, why? Oh, there's nowhere I need to be.”“I thought I was only going to get the one night.”Sugarbell turned off the stove and set the table with leftover ham omelets and freshly-baked cinnamon rolls. “That's not a girlfriend, that's a one-night stand.” she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, “And we still have to continue where we left off after all.”By Demi urging for Literotica

Brothers In Arms
Episode 109 - Elongated Shoe Pastry

Brothers In Arms

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2022 75:41


Bienvenue dans un nouvel épisode de Brothers in Arms! Nous nous excusons pour notre retard, mais nous espérons que l'attente a augmenté votre appétit pour de délicieuses pâtisseries Français! Ahem, pardon me. On this week's episode, a month and a half has made us miss you, introducing the Builder, the Brewer, and the Baker, Go Buckeyes!, a French princess and a rebel, laugh quietly, shot a spike, running in the negative, tired in all the ways, a stinky boat that smells like motivation, serious Dad energy, genuine fake Italian leather phanny pack, it's name is Cheese, a new hashtag #NoStairs, what we are reading, and Dad jokes from our new books (You're Welcome!). Tout cela et bien plus encore dans l'épisode de cette semaine de Brothers in Arms!   Where you can reach us: Instagram: Yourbrothersinarmspodcast Twitter: @YourBIAPodcast Gmail: yourbrothersinarmspodcast@gmail.com Twitch: Twitch.tv/brothersinarmspodcast (Every Sunday @ 9:00-ish PM EST) Website: https://brothersinarms.podbean.com

The Adventures of Princess丨Mermaid Magic丨Babybus
Princess Miumiu: Ocean Adventure

The Adventures of Princess丨Mermaid Magic丨Babybus

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2022 6:55


“Let me tell you the story of a mysterious treasure.” “Huh? What mysterious treasure? Tell me!Tell me!” “Ahem. Legend has it that pirates hid their treasure on a mysterious island in the middle of the sea…”

The Aquacave
Toad Man - Dawson's Creek (S1 E1)

The Aquacave

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2022 61:11


The New TNN Podcast presents a look back at a true American treasure…DAWSON's CREEK!   Join Jonnie Sea and his *AHEM* co-host “Film Connoisseur Kevin Nash” as they relive Dawson's Creek one episode at a time… Up first, THE PILOT EPISODE! The boys talk about their love for the show and break down all the twists and turns. Why does the school have the wrong mascot? Why does Grams look so young, and what's up with (FAKE) Bodie and his Chef Test? Is Tamara totally into Pacey, and how often do you walk your dog?

INXS: Access All Areas
Epi 133 Danny Saber Part 1; with Special Host Nick Egan

INXS: Access All Areas

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2022 97:00


          A big Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year from both me and Haydn and yes we're on a break and we will be back in the New year with more amazing guest interviews and much more.   This episode was fun to make with our Hounable Patron and friend Nick Egan, music video and creative producer to many including; Duran Duran, Oasis, and INXS. He takes us through his top 10 INXS hits that have personal meanings to him and tells us more about his time with Michael Hutchence.   Our guest interview this week is with Danny Saber and wow we get to hear insights into how he got to work with Michael and how it also opened other doors for him in the music industry. Michael trusted Danny and we thrust that Danny will be able to soon let us hear the music that Michael wanted us to hear. Ahem! Part 2 will be out on the 14th Jan 23.   If you would like to donate to the fund set up for Ollie Olsen here is the link. https://www.gofundme.com/f/gift-for-ollie-olsen?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet   If you would to know more about becoming a Patron to help this Podcast then here is the link https://www.inxsaccessallareas.com/patrons   and sign the petition to help get INXS into The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. https://www.inductinxs.com   Love Bee xox

The AllCreation Podcast
Envisioning Transformation: Dina Kunin

The AllCreation Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2022 61:58


Achieving Transformation: Dina Kunin. “It shifted my perspective that my life did not have to stay that way.” Reiki healer, harmonious dog trainer (family & child education, animal behavior improvement & relationship building), empath, stenographer, and more. Dina came to the US as Ukrainian Jewish refugee in her teens. She shares some of her experience on overcoming being a non-English speaker, then takes us through one of her personal healing miracles, and then begins sharing powerful, essential wisdoms and thoughts related to personal healing and social progress. (Scroll down to quotes section in these notes.) Coming from a Russian childhood where her grandparents “knew every leaf & plant & berry in the forest,” Dina shares some of her daily food, health, and folk medicine regimens, talks about her work as a healer and harmonious dog trainer, and more. Dina is interviewed by guest editor and friend, Rev. Louis Tillman, as part of our Envisioning Transformation collection. They let AllC editor, Chris Searles, join in the conversation.    Learn More Dina's Harmonious dog trainer website  Rev. Louis Tillman   PROGRAM0:00 Intro1:30 Hello, what's your story 2:30 On migrating to the USA from Russia 4:30 What is Reiki?   > Definitions   > 6:30 Her practitioner's perspective   > 6:50 Her Reiki-healing miracle 11:00 On achieving personal-healing / transformation 13:15 To “envision transformation” one has to believe it's possible; experiencing transformation helps…     > 14:30 Manifestation & visualization is such a beautiful thing; We are so powerful and we don't even know it   > 15:45 Breath. Matters.16:15 How has Heath & Wellness impacted you, what do you recommend?   > 17:00 Dina's regimens    > 18:20 Fasting, Resting, Sleeping, Healing, Regenerating   > 19:40 On natural, folk & food medicines and healing    >20:30 Dina's kitchen/health staples 21:00 Louis asks about honey, food, community gardens, and … Crickets???   > 24:30 What is keeping us from protecting our environment    > 25:00 Our Actual connections to the environment  > 27:00 Meat & crickets    > 29:00 Wild locusts & honey    > 30:15  Crickets for manifesting good   > 31:00  Crickets for food…32:20 Ahem,,, :) What institutional changes do we need?   > 33:00 Dina's mantra in life    > 33:30 Framing her opinions   > 35:00 How do we bridge divides 35:45 Positive change is intergenerational 37:00 Are our Comforts creating despair? How do we move into being a convoy of hope as a Faith community?   > 39:15 Connection, Community, & Community-knowledge   > 39:50 Valuing our Elders       > 41:45 Give positivity42:55 Is “Kinship “ the right thing to go for?45:30 Louis inspired & grateful,,,     > 46:30 Yes: the essentials… We all have the same needs. > 47:30 Reconnect to our breath, our similarities      > 49:45 Connected care feels better      > 51:50 Breath: How to breathe    > 53:00 Creating peaceful feelings        > calming the dog         > breathing from your belly55:45 What is your message to the world?  > Choose: Connection. Choose: Positive Mindset. Choose: Kindness. 57:30 Choose to do something good.  > 48:15 One action does make a difference. 58:45 What keeps you going?    > 59:45 Re-connection; Coming back into focus    > 1:00:25 Vision: That We Realize Our Power as a Human Community.   1:00:45 Wrap up References  Reiki Diaphragmatic breathing Stenographer Product  Quotes Being compassionate is the key to all of this.For me to get to a peaceful  state I picture myself sitting by the ocean, and listening to the water, and feeling the breeze and wind in my air, and smelling that salt air, and taking those deep breaths, Im able to transition into that actual state. . . We are so powerful and we don't even know it.    We take breathing for granted and most of us don't know how to breathe correctly...I have not been sick in years.  It is always a balance of Western & Eastern Medicines coming together, but if I ' m able to heal myself, using natural foods that are available to me, that will always be my first go to.  I do feel the younger people will prevail, but we have to help them.     Sometimes it's just so overwhelming you don't even want to think about, you don't to even be there, so thats why a lot people just numb themselves to this, because they feel if they can't affect change then they just need to focus on themselves. We all just want to be happy, and we want to be secure, and we want to be free. We all have the same needs, every single person in the world.I know it's cliche but, (our) similarities are so simple. You know, just listening to someone without having the need to respond, and just hearing their story — because our reality is only based in our perception and our experience of how we envision the world.Even though it may not be your experience, and even though you may never be able to relate to exactly what they are going through…the humanity in all of us and just being compassionate — that is the key to all of this. Gratitude is the key to happiness, you know, being just mindful and grateful for things elicits peace for me. Choose connection. Choose happiness. Choose gratitude.  Choose positive mindset, because a positive mindset does not change our situation, but it does change the way you respond to things — that will help you transform your life. Choose kindness. Choose to take a deep breath before you react in a situation. Choose to do something good, whether its on a small level, on a one on one level,,, just do something that is good that you can handle. We just choose to not leave our comfort zones.I feel that we are all responsible or how things are going to turn out. And, because we are so interconnected, one action does make a difference. Thanks for listening. This podcast is one of seven interviews from our Winter Solstice 2022 collection, "Envisioning Transformation." It was produced &edited by Chris Searles. 

Married With Channels
The White Lotus Season 2 Finale is a, ahem, Spirited Affair

Married With Channels

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2022 16:03


We're back! After about a month of dealing with the flu (EVERYBODY GOT IT!) we've finally been able to carve out some time to record a new episode of the podcast that Entertainment Weekly called 'Married with what now?' Join us this week as we look at the season finale of White Lotus, Season 2 and is the new Will Ferrell/Ryan Reynolds movie 'Spirited' a new Christmas classic? Tune in to find out!   Give us a good review and please subscribe!   If you have any show or movie recommendations for us please get those to us via our Twitter at www.twitter.com/MarriedWChanns.

WTF! Walk The Floors Podcast- All Things Hospitality Training
How to reach to Executive Team Level

WTF! Walk The Floors Podcast- All Things Hospitality Training

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2022 19:48


Ahem!… Emerging Leaders, we are talking to you! The main priority in any hospitality job is to satisfy the customer and make their experience perfect. This is extremely rewarding as an employee, and you will receive numerous opportunities every day to make a customer's day – above all else this feeling is something that you will love! But, how do you continue to make such an impact when you reach the top? On this episode, Stephanie Leger and Michele Kline discuss tips for you to add to your “to-do” list as you climb your way up to the executive office. Connect with the hosts on LinkedIn Michèle Kline https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelekline/ Stephanie Leger https://www.linkedin.com/in/sleger/ Hosts Company Links Michèle Kline https://www.klinehospitality.com/ Stephanie Leger https://www.firstratehospitality.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential
@ The Other Job ***leaked***

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 40:57


Three artists preform the same spell with entirely different intentions—in some dimensions. [Muffled thud] What's the wish? These, three. Burning daisies, are we? No, just Dandelions. Separate them. The hearts?! All of them— —Spirit I swear to God. —don't// ‘Skrillex is my Spirit Animal'. —and, Soul. What of the flesh? It will wound and perish but will not bond or be bound to death, until it again becomes as One. What is THIS? I honestly-/ Honestly!! Honestly thought, this was a movie about: —Skrillex. —Dillon Francis — A S Ū P E R S T A R DJ [ARTIST] ...okay… Ooh, good alternate. The Womp WOMPING Willow will beat your ass into believing you are— whatever it tells you, you are. DJ. NO. “DJ.” NO. NO DJ. NO. NO—DJ. I don't think D.J. wants to be a DJ. Nobody wants to be a DJ. Shut up D.J.—you're a D.J. Too—you Motherfucker!!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! [hey motherfucker—Timmy trumpet] aww, poor PJ Lol. Poor Billy. B.J.—the DJ I don't like this sign. It looks bad. Take it down. “BJ THE DJ” TAKE IT DOW— CUT TO: DJ?! That's the Fuxking WORST. AGHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!!! IM NOT A DJ!! “Not a DJ” You— SUPERSTAR DJ SKRILLEX HUH. EVERYBODY ELSE HUH. —Skrillex—the world's first “SUPERSTAR”DJ” NUH - UH YAH HUHHH! NAH AUGHHHGGHHHH!!! UH-HUHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AGHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAaaahhahgahhahahhahhaagghhhhhhhhhhhhhh… [go to sleep.] SKRILLEX Nherr. —?? THE WOMP WOMPING WILLOW *voiced by Valee, Jermih MEGA DJ —WHAT IS THAT?!— Oh no. Don't do this, I didn't wanna. (Crying) I don't wanna He really don't wanna. So make ‘em. —- So. So. He's going to college— Yes. Is this a joke___? Is it? IS IT? ...mmmm...nope…. As part of his prison sen— Yep. For Mass Murder. Yep. SHUTTHEFUCKUP— [does.] Jesus Christ, what is his power? JESUS Don't ask me. Only he knows. Only he knows. HE DOESNT KNOW. But she does. Okay look. What. Look. ‘Skrillex and Supacree Scrap turned Barroom Brawl' ...no. “NO?” [Looks: it's bad] Imma have that ® Goddamn it, don't. Don't do what Make that face. Agh. Or that one. Ufff. This is a scuffle. Who let him in here. They beat the shit out of each other, with bass, and bassball bats. I thought it was theatrics! Insomniac has incredible production value!!!! [brutal Bloody murder] Bass heads: AGAHAHAJABSNAKAJAABDKSMA SNSKAOZJSNSLALZKS—- #All that. Kenna & Kel? Yeah broh!! Live Set?! yah broh!! SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE SET ooh, what's this. BITCH. [LIZ LEMON] PICK UP YOUR SKRILLEX. *obnoxious super drunk fart* (Especially, for a woman!) Hey/-! You can't say that! You can't not say that!! WHAT DOES EQUALITY MEAN? gross man farts— FLATULENCE GREATER-THAN, Stop this joke. OR EQUAL TO Okay. —SKRILLEX!!!!!!! Get out, now. I got it. —- Ext. Boston, Massachusetts. Day SUPACREE [A / DJ] ‘SKRILLEX' is an extraterrestrial entity which manifests variously through specific forces, subjects, and beings. Though masking her true identity, CC STONE, the chosen secret identity of the mysterious SUPACREE, has been in hiding, though knowingly under conspicuous monitoring. SKRILLEX uses telepathy, as to remain intractable to the extent of normal human capacity, or even the most advanced technology, to continue evading the various government entities and agencies seeking to study this ‘intangible energy'. Having become a guiding force and ‘imaginary friend' of SUPACREE, masquerading as unassuming and low-key traveler ‘CC', the pressures of dark forces arise in the form of hostility, which SKRILLEX combats quietly, most recently, silently. After decoding a specific series of dream sequences projected post-consciously, ‘CC', wrought with anxiety, contemplates secretly relocating, anticipating more terrorism from her own home country; She begins formulating a way to escape further being targeted secretly. TImelines begin intercepting, as NATALIE from DEATHWISH is contemplating jumping from the 6th story of the same apartment building; CC/SUPACREE considers this, but focuses on a positive solution more diligently, meditating. Upon returning to her studio, CC begins cleaning and, although she's only just finished eating, begins preparing another meal to eat; As the energy moves around her, she begins to move automatically; now fully aware of SUPACREE's shifting abilities. She submits in silence, sighing in relief as a greeting. SKRILLEX Listen to me. CC I'm always listening. SKRILLEX I am leaving. CC pauses in silence; The room is grey and empty; Then, she remembers something. ‘The Skrillex Project' was intended to be temporary. | Oh please, there is no Skrillex. Of course there's a Skrillex. No, there isn't. There is, you're just limited. Of course I'm limited; look at this. Look at this place! What happened here? This is it, since it...shifted. Shifted? What the fuck does that mean? The polarity. "Polarity" ? --And, that planet is off of its axis entirely. Entirely? Are you just repeating everything? "Everything?!" This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. Say that three times. No. Do it. No way. Just say it. No way, man, I'm not summoning Skrillex. It was your idea. I changed my mind! Pussy! I was just kidding! I didn't think we were actually gonna do it. Come on dude, just say it, just say it! No way. One of you say it! No way! Fuck it, I'll say it. NO! Fuck that! Oh, fuck you guys. It's not like it's going to work, anyway. It might! And then what? Nothing's going to happen, I'll prove it. Skrillex is Ridiculous Skrillex is Ridiculous Skrillex is Ridicu--- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The lights come on, the boys stare at eachother in confusion and disbelief; the sound of loud footsteps as someone coming down the stairs enters the basement they are gathered in. Sonny, only slightly startled, unassumingly looks up at the group of preteens, and seems for the most part unbothered. Hey guys. The boys just stare. Oh my God. What? You're Skrillex! Yeah but-- RUN!! Three boys from a separate dimension have caused their own "nonexistence"; in their own reality, Skrillex (which can literally be an ambiguation of anything, If everything is everything and so forth) does not exist, and his his actual existence is thought to be fictional, historically misrepresented, or inaccurate--being told as an urban legend How long after the first scene is this happening? Well, I mean...I don't know. Well, we know these kids come from SIR; Technically, but I think this happens before SIR has been established, since upon returning home, they all know Skrillex is real, spreading the story among the skeptics and being exhausted after Skrillex, looking for somebody stumbles through their dimension and gets trapped in it, quickly gaining a global cult following,coining the term "Skrillex is real", eventually leading to Skrillex, Isreal. Which I guess makes sense. It makes sense! The neighbor kids again? Yeah. ____ Get this: they changed the word "slave", to "employee"; bit it still works the same! Oh man! And I mean, they get paid, but they have to pay their wages back to basically the same companies the money came from… You're kidding. I'm not. I wish I was. This is fucked--(up) This is fucked up. I mean, the people on this continent aren't even eating, so I mean. Woaaaahhh, whaaaaat. I know, it's the whole place. But it's mostly this "United States", it's full of baby rapists and run by these... white supremacy people, and they raise cows just to make “steak”. Woah. Right? And the slaves just take it, they pay for everything they make! She's gonna be so mad when she sees this. Don't tell her. We have to; they just planned an entire pandemic, and it's entire purpose-- What is Purpose? --in this country, it's currency. "Currency?' what is "currency"? The Legend of SupaCree follows an involuntary “hero” on her adventures, after her powers become unlocked; Now, she must join forces with the other DJ's to Save The Rave. _____ SupaCree refuses to tell anybody anything. (After Pre-edc scene) oh dude, that's a lot. It is a lot. She still hasn't told her mom you're “Skrillex” Ugh, no. And she makes me shop at K-Mart every time we go over there. You got that at K-Mart? It's nice. Yeah. Where did you find a K-Mart? ______ Where is “Earff”? _____ Bampheramph training is considered complete once the trainee “stops crying”, thus begins the official recruitment process, which includes but is not limited to reaching various ‘extremes', which differ by context. ____ Every red cup is just Another broken heart, Another broken dream, Another broken record, Playing on repeat … … … Wheres my Skrillex? Which-- So, Skrillex… You can call me Sonny. ...Skrillex... O...kay… [She squints suspiciously at him and jots something down in her notebook.] ____ So, do you use Serato, or Rekordbox? Neither I just [Demonstrates] What the fuck does that even mean? It means you can [Demonstrates] 1____1 How is he doing this? Magic. I'm not going to fight for him. Do you honestly think this is happening to anybody else? Maybe. Honestly? Infinite. Infinite Skrill-- Infinite fucking everything. I'm not about to try to explain it. So what are you going to do? I don't know. The worlds gone mad she is, but she's not a man. She's trapped in a casket Can't listen to the map And can't imagine he'll ever come back Jag parked, smogs bad and she has a plan But can't get past the magnet Magic has its way of making things go crazy Why don't you just--& Oh what? Have my people call his people? Something like that His peopl I had a dream About a tent About a temporary tenant This christmas, its Resentment, Tension And whatever this is… Oh yes, "This is Skrillex…" wayward Hey. Hey. So, uh. So. What's wrong with you? ....what? What's wrong. Whats...wrong? --With you. SupaCree summons Skrillex. Skrillex. Stop it. Fuck you. Skrillex. Seriously, stop You stop. Skrillex-Skrillex-Skriooex o Oh no Just stop. In the parallel where… SŪpAcree has become a disastrously egotistic and diva-like superstar, we see she is in this world, outwardly bitter, rather angry and despondent, having learned to capitalize best not being herself. A young intern helps to prepare an event; His trainer, an astute and rigid stage manager, after finishing a series of detailed questions about the theatrical performance and it's various attendees-+ leaves the intern alone for "just a minute" handing them her clipboard as she hurriedly rushes elsewhere. The intern scans the clipboard, flipping the front page over to reveal a hidden note. Taking the initiative (trying to be assertive in the newly appointed position), asks nervously... ...And what about Skrillex? Who? Skrillex. Who the fuck is that? Its...Skrillex. Tell me who that is. Uh… Go ahead. The intern stands, frightened at her anger. The stage manager returns. _______________ I hate this shit, it isn't fair. It isnt Wheres my phone? __ Woah. You did all this for Skrillex. Pretty much. Yeah. I guess. Yep. Wow. Okay. You would. (I did) Burn it. What? Fuck that! Ughhhhh. No. Sonny/fictional skrillex: Do you know why ai put you in this fucked up dimension? Me: WHAT? YOU DID THIS? NO--WHY--?? Sonny: So you could get your shit together. Me: well, that's fucked up. S/FS: I DID NOT think it would take this long Me: well, how long is it supposed to take? S/FS: I don't know… Me: ...well, how long does it usually take? S/FS: So wait; You guys from the future-- Fathomable future. Uh-huh Have seen the show? Yes. My show. Mm-hmm. / Well then, how does it start? ----------------------------- I already told you, no. Yes. I'm not going to Skrillex. You have to go. No. What the fuck is NO. I'm not going. WHAT? What. You have to go. Who says? We do. Okay. Okay. [beat] Who the fuck are you? OOH, ARE WE STILL BLEEPING OUT THE SKRILLEX? Yes. Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny You so Funny Funny Funny Funny Funny Funny Funny Do you Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me I'm so Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly And I'm nothing Without you Was this a song? Probably. Looks like a song. Seems like a song to me. Nobody should ever hear this. Define…”nobody” The Song has become a number 1 hit radio sensation. What the fuck is my life. What the fuck is your life. I don't know what the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuuuuuuck . Speak of the devil— (Terrified) what? Dillon Francis is here? What? No—it's just Skrillex, he's just...here to collect. What?! What, dude—Skrillex is your plug? Uhhh. For what? Where else am I gonna get premium space bass? Aaahh Gasp I knew it! I knew something about you was really Skrilly. Hella Skrilly. *doorbell rings* Ok, no Skrilly in front of the— He is magically just, suddenly inside. In front of the what? The two stand starry eyed in amazement. ...hey… X2: hey… Should we step outside? Oh, come in— —I did. I see that. (Lol )Right in He did that. He always does. This...transaction is private. It's fine. You guys are alright—maybe—breathe a little— —large gasp, has not been breathing since Skrillex...what did he even do. He like, apparated No—apps—no. There's no fire. He didnt apostate. Alright then, teleport. That silently? Yeah, I mean teleportals also are like: —actual teleportal, which is a huge, very not quiet, black hole like vacuum with lots of colors, lots of light— Oh. Well, how did he get in, then? He shifted. “What the fuck is Shiffted!?” The SupaCree and The Skrillex share these commonalities: *S13 (13th power ) —- Dude! I got the key! You got the key, yeah, it's one of these. A bunch of keys in a wheelbarrow. Dude. What. The fuck. I don't know! I just know, she told me the key was on the key ring WHAT keyring dyde?! This is just a wheelbarrow full of KE*T! [wheelbarrow full of ketamine] AHEM. *wheelbarrow full of keys!! (He produces a heavy chain which appears to (not really) link the keys together We...keychain. —Meanwhile— God deletes all the Florida Keys—except for one— _________________________ I will not “go” to the “Skrillex Reddit” Go to that place. No way. We are going to the internet for ONE thing—and one thing only. “We are gonna skate to one song, and one song only. BALL SO HARD MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA—“ No. One thing. Yes, I thought it was Skrillex. We never go online for Skrillex. Okay. Not even shopping. Alright, let's go. You don't even know what we're going for I hope he hears this She says “I hope he makes it” And by she, I mean me And I've been prayint for a way to try to say this stuff— Spit it out Turn it up— Woah...okay! Okay what? What are you gonna do with all this Skrillex? Uh… …? …Just throw it out. Throw it out!? Yep. Why would you do that? *Shrugs* Don't need it. Don't need it!? Yeah, I just said that. Are you serious? Yes. Throw it out. No way. If you're gonna do that…I'll take it! You want it? W--Fuck yeah! For what? I don't know. I'll think of something. Okay. Yeah? Yeah...whatever. Yes! ...okay….Just--come help me lift this. “The Great Big Book of Skrillex” This...is just an Encyclopedia. ...you bought encyclopedias? I needed them for my library. ...you have a library? It isn't finished yet. It isn't...finished…? Not yet. They're installing the elevator. There's an elevator? Of course there's an elevator; it just doesn't get to the library. Yet. I meant— Come on. What did you do to my house ? Well, after I put the fire out— What fire? The main one. —there were, of course, several smaller fires— What The Hell? And now there's just that one. A fireplace? When did I get a fireplace? Well, I needed an easier way to get in and out. —where does it go? Out the chimney. —wait, did you just say “in and out”? That sounds good. I wish they had a vegetarian menu. French Fries? Uh huh. Is that it? I think so. —Meanwhile— GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR SAUCE. Ohhh, get ketchup. Sorry, we're out of ketchup. Out of ketchup? Yes. Okay, can I just have special sauce then? We are out of sauce. What. Every sauce? All The Sauce. GODDAMMIT DILLON FRANCIS. I hope this isn't like the Skrillex thing. We're still under the limit. Kick it. Obscured by a plume of misty light gray clouds, an entire city is enamoured and mystified by a mysterious force, as The Skrillex lands on earth, from deep space. __ Ah, it's gonna be like this again. “kliptown empyrean” Kliptown with a K-- Ooh, lets move to Korea Town! Wait. (bass) ___ ___ ___ ___ Remember the birds? I remember everything. No, you don't (hey) I remember everything. (Hey) That's great What's this? A wedding ring What's a “wedding ring”? Let me explain. Hey, I just might be a writer Hey, This happens every day-- This makes me crazy. Hey, This is the time and place What is “time”? Let me explain. Hey, This is what being a writer means; It means the typing comes out lyrically and everything is rhythmic; but recitation makes interpretation Different Oh, I get it; It's blank. No names, I'm saying Anyone who wants to say the line can say it, If it makes sense. __ So, you're telling me; I can go anywhere in the world… Yes. Anywhere in the-- Paris. I'm not quite white enough. Nobody cares, it's-- 10 karats. Delicious. No, it's--karats, it's a measurement. Why would you bring melatonin to this event? I have problems sleeping. Why would you fall asleep at a RAVE. Why? I'm still sleeping. I'm still needing attention; Why didn't you just leave me? Just leave me! Just leave! Just-- Adjust. ...have you seen this? What is it? It's a galaxy. No it isn't. It's about to be. No it isn't, it's just-- “Let's blow this popsicle stand” MOM!!! (((WOW))) What happened? I don't know, it just ended. What do you mean “it just ended?” It did, it just-- MOTHERFUCKER! What? Well, here come The Men In Black... and Skrillex. (Ohh, I get it.) ((You should get it, you're the one writing it.)) Oh shit, did you just say Skrillex-- Yeah, Skrillex-- Did someone just say-- DON'T say it again. Please. I gotta go. Go?! Go where? If he's here, i”m late-- Late for WHAT? Your set is in 10 minutes! No, it isn't, it's in 9. (It's Twelve, actually) This isn't it, is it? This is it. Then where's Skrillex? Skrillex? Skrillex!!! GODDAMMIT. S Ū P A Skrillex gives me angina. [SKRILLEX = ANGINA.] I —And vertigo. S Ū P A And now, vertigo— and I only recently found out what that even is. ME I'm so sick of Skrillex MYSELF —Sick of Skrillex— I I hate Skrillex. CUT TO: SKRILLEX SKRILLEX: ...okay, fuck this. S Ū P A C R E S Fuck this motherucker! SKRILLEX; Fuck this job. S Ū P A C R EE I— HATE HIM— SKRILLEX —I hate this. S Ū P A FUCK THIS SHIT. SKRILLEX ...fuck this shit. S Ū P A I AM OUT. [SKRILLEX just leaves.] -!!!- THE END. I love what you did with the tectonic plates. Thanks. And the bubonic plague. Well, you can't just throw poop in the streets. Humans! ___ Skrillex?! Wait, seriously, Skrillex? We have Skrillex. You do?! Of course we do! Don't be ridiculous! Skrillex. Skrillex is ridiculous. Skrillex is ridiculous, yes. ___ Skrillex and Dillon Francis fight for the win, as they battle for their "biggest fan" and vets*bets are placed to see which 'body of work' is completed first. BODY OF WORK. I said. That--that's my entry. So. It doesn't matter, anyway. I've got more scenes. Of course you've got more scenes, it's more cost effective. She's got a sick business model. Oh yeah, where's this 'business model?' It's at your mom's house. (Good, she's very organized) (Yeah, I bet.) (...how much?) -------- Skrillex is ridiculous. Skrillex is ridiculous, yes. ___ Chak Chel, I'm almost done with the list-- Then where are you? I'm...on my way back, I'm just having a little trouble understanding the last thing on the list, it just says - Skrillex-??? Yes. Like...the person? Precisely. ...what do you want me to get from Skrillex? Just go get him. ...and then what? Bring him here. What! His head springs up toward the sky. Looking directly "at God" You want me to bring him to you? I don't think that's a good idea! Of course it's a good idea, Dillon. It's my idea. What the fuck. Don't give me your fucks right now, I don't have time, Dillon. Just go- How am I supposed to explain this? One thing at a time. [She hangs up him; he looks at his phone, scrolled through his contacts, and dials a number.] Hello, you've reached Skrillex; We are reviving more calls than we can answer at this time. Your call is very important- Please hold, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. Soft music begins to play. What the fuck. Your estimated wait time is: One hour and, fifteen minutes. The music resumes. …wow. He places the phone into a holster over the dash and programs his navigation to a location on the map, (Later) >>you had ONE job. I had a lot of jobs, actually--i was even a firefighter, at one point-- ONE JOB. That was a long list! Why do you ask? This man, who is he? SUPACREE has been procrastinating telling SONNY anything about anything; However, Everything is Everything. SUPACREE Listen, Skrillex told me something-- SONNY Skrilllex?! You talked to Skrillex?! Where is he?! SUPACREE Look, I don't know exactly. But it said SONNY It's a “he” SUPACREE ...he said--and I mean like like, really really clearly-- SONNY What'd he say? SUPACREE “I am leaving.” SONNY ...He said that? SUPACREE That's what he told me. SONNY I knew it. SUPACREE Wait, you knew?! SONNY I always knew. ...what part is this? I guess this is the part before we go into that whole backstory? What whole backstory? Which--backstory? How Sonny met Skrillex. Oh! Wait, wha--? THE END ________ J3SŪS Pïzz∆. The Diva SupaCree and the Egomaniac Skrillex are the worst possible combination of people possible. [Note* Because she has gained worldly powers through weath and fame, she has no Spirit magic, making her cosmic creation ability react randomly in heightened states of panic,anger, and tantrums--whuch often result in the uncontrolled (and unexplainable, mostly) accidental shits through time and reality, usually working in her favor, however feeding the fire which continues to consune her soul with the worldly evils of capitalism. A large dark and ominous karmic justification, less of her actions than by her attitude, is set in place to manage her habits, resetting her on the path to saving humanity.] This version of SupaCree is overly confident, sometimes pompous, in love with herself (even in the mirror, as her Omnipotence and awareness grows stronger in the other bodies of her collective conciousness.) Being enabled to do whatever she wants, she begins hosting large scale productions, flaunting other the top and sometimes nonsense "showing-offs" , even going as far as to hire an entire lineup of the worlds Top DJs just to watch her preform, giving 3 VIP tickets away to another concert, where they are escorted from yo her set to preform as spotlight artists, after having insures that they would bomb on stage--beginning as a Rap Battle, where she totes a Golden and rhinestone hammer, which she uses as a prop--but as the cosmic power from within acts with intention the hammer takes on a life of its own, controlled by the telekieisi of the princess through another dimension; after the hammer eliminates the X and Dillon Francis, Pasqualle (actually Dillon Francis) is spotted out in the front row, and ousted as a time unraveling fraud of conciousness, then transforming into a gavel, this beginning the judgement of the above-ground portal of punishment, as it plunges the party goes into dungeons and alternate dimensions as The Diva SuoaCree and The Egotistical Skrillex basically battle to the eventual death of thousands instantly, as they "beat the fuck out if eachother with bass" collapsing the mainstage and sinking through a giant Rabbit Hole as the San Andreas fault line begins the apocolyse as depicted in 2012, Arriving in Hell, creating a second stage inside the Rave Cave Satan Created--where they have the CRAZIEST raves. While the battle between good and evil has officially begun, as the intergalactic space race to locate the planet at the exact right time space, era, and age becomes reckless, creating voids in space, creating a now expanding outward compressing inward collapsing contraction, the Multiverse and it's ever expanding realms are collapsing and colliding as reality shatters, a concept concivable by the extra terrestrials of advanced conciousness and evoked evolution--but it's hell-meets- heaven on earth as portals between worlds, basically, the best, most horrifying lazer light show in history, allowing fictional characters and science fiction to become reality,as worlds collide into one. The humans trapped in a eaveless covid 19 are blissfully ignorant, raving at home--meanwhuke the world, while also fighting a war where literally anything goes and everything is everything, as the laws of physics or any science ever apply. The occult magicians are at an advantage, able to harness the magic of the changing alignments, as the Ascended Masters plans to move the planet, keeping it out of the Global Government pact between the Intergalactic Planetary Waste Management and specifically The United States, as the evil Government--the same that launched the multiple attacks on both the Original Cree, SupaCree and The pSupaCree, still hatching plans within it's branches ran by white suprimisests and cult leaders or religious and prestigious organizations of protected traffickers, drug lords, and other evil rich people who continue to work towards the irreversible, certain and complete death, from which she cannot ressurect. The certain death SupaCree results in a I TOLD you she would be here! No WAY (At Skrillex) Whose that guy? WOOOOOOAAAHHH. ...Did you get it? After this, we're done--right? No more of this sh- Did you get the Laptop? *Sighs* Yeah, man--I…Yeah. It's right here. Good. None of this is "good", okay--this is the total opposite of "good", this is *not* good. It's ruining her life. You agreed. I didn't think it would go this far--I mean--Everything? Everything is Everything. Where is it? ...it's...here. *sets it down on the table* K. Now get out. (He puts his hands up mockingly) yeah dude, I'm out. We're like, good, right--? Like, I don't need anymore bad karma-- Oh, now you wanna be "good" You know what I meant. This is fucked up. She prays for you. Maybe now she'll realize she should be praying *to* me. *Befuddled, over it* Alright dude, good luck with...whatever…Just...Don't call me anymore. When have I ever called you directly? Just don't. He walks away, bursts out of the front doors frustratedly. Leaving the lair, Dillon is snatched, scary kidnapper style. Trying to reach the plug; it goes to voicemail, then immediately recieves a text. Sorry, my schedule's pretty hectic. I got class all day and then I'm going out of town. Ok. Sorry love. Damn...now what am I supposed to...huh Later Guy: well, I don't have any of that here, but what about this? He pulls out a Skrillex (after we are introduced to the dimension where the Skrillex becomes a popular device--but much like a googleflab (from Rick and Morty), it has many ambiguous uses. her eyes light up, as the Skrillex begins to glow. Oh...that…? Does it bother you? ...um… Go ahead. I...uh...I can't. You can't? Well why not? I just don't...really… Skrillex anymore. Why not? Everybody loves Skrillex. ...Yeah. C'mon. Try It Out. (Oh, God.) (('Oh God' WHAT? I'm busy.)) (((Go, quickly, please.))) I think...I think I'll skip that. What, are you trying to be a nun? ...Uh… Angel: you'd be a terrible nun. ...uhhh... Angel 2: shuttup. Hey. No? Suit yourself. It's here if you change your mind. ...Thank... you. The man walks away, and she lets out a slight sigh of relief. Angel: Don't be a pussy! What are you doing here? Angel: Telling you to STFU. I didn't say anything. Angel: SKRILLEX THE FUCK UP. Wow. Angel: Be a man! I'm not. Skrillex! No. Angel No? What's no? Skril--!! Angel 2: shutthefuckup. Thank you. Angel: what?! Angel 2: Ignore him; listen to me. Acceptable. Angel 2: You need Skrillex. Unacceptable. Angel: what, why? What is wr--(ong with you?) Angel 2: shhht! Look, this is important. Who sent you… ? They point "up". You're going to have to be a little more specific than that. Skrillex first, specifics later. Nokay. Both: NOKAY!? I don't--do that anymore. We know, look--just--youre not thinking clearly right now. I need you to focus. Focus how? Janie didn't even pick up the phone, I haven't heard from her all summer. How am I supposed to focus without-- Skrillex. Stop it. No, that's Fisher. Both: Shuttup. No, you Shuttup. Both up you shut the fuck-- ! Say it again. I'm past that part of my life. Technically, your Death. Yes, so let me rest in peace, please, without Skrillex. There is no peace without Skrillex. That makes, the opposite of sense. Just--look--its--You want to finish your project, right? I'll finish it… In this lifetime? Oh, now I'm alive--I thought I was dead. Uh-huh. Since when? Since S-- *flustered* Say it again. Shove it. And tell Satan-- WOAH. Simoltaneously Satan!? Oh please, fuck that guy--! You think we came from Satan? Well, Obviously. Oh, honey… Dude, I'm an angel. I have wings! Of course you do. Like Satan doesn't own Stocks at Red Bull. Christ. (Which one?) ((Jesuses: Not it! Jesus: Aha JINX. You owe me a Piñot Ah, Goddamn. God: WHAT did you just say? Jesuses: NOTHING. Jesus: Jinx! Jesus: Aahh--G--)) Christ is right. You got us confused, honey. We came from the other side. To feed me Skrillex? Uh, false. Begone, demons. You really don't--we're trying to help you. I don't need help. You do need Skrillex. You need Jesus. NOT IT. Angel 2: wait, which one? Now you're gonna have to be more specific. I specifically quit Skrillex. Now, leave me alone. You're not alone-- No, that's Marshmello. Shut. Up. Simoltaneously Stoooooopitttt. Ok fine. I guess I'll just-- Jesus walks in I got a call for 'Christ', and then a second one for "Jesus" did you need-- Jesus! Jesus? Oh, wait-- Jesus? Oh my God. I wouldn't bother her right now, she's kind of busy. Bet. Oh, no thank you. I don't gamble. Addictive personality. Christ. Huh, what? What's up? A beat. They all stand quietly (though Ū is the only one visible to the shop owner, who has returned with Pizza. I got pizza! Nice. Oooh! Jesus: Ah, what? I want some…wait, only she can see us, right? Yeah. Solid. Yo, I want a slice of pizza. What kind is it? Whispering to jesus: I don't know! Shop owner: don't know what? Or, what did you say? I didn't hear you. She awkwardly stares forward speechlessly, overwhelmed by the two angels and Jesus directly behind her. Don't just stand there! Say something. Uh. What uh, what kind...is it? Pineapple,pepperoni, jaleneño. Ew. What the fuck-- And we're from Hell? I know Who's this guy? I don't work for Satan, you work for Satan! Jesus: Grab me a slice homie, if I gotta fight the Devil again, I mean--he doesn't look like Satan, but--you never know these days. Really? Make it two. hah. YOLO. Hah. Just kidding. Shop owner: come get a plate. *he gestures to the Skrillex, which glowingly levitates hovering above the countertop, whirring.* You sure you don't want any of this? That? No. That--uhh--i'll just have Pizza. You sure? Skrillex is great with pizza. It is. Jesus: Awh, what? Skrillex? I love Skrillex. *She squints through her sunglasses* The shop owner hands her a plate, she dishes out two slices, as the angels and Jesus bicker beside her; she stands deflatedly, uncertain of her seemily collapsing reality. She presents the plate towards jesus, who looks up from his argument with the angels, enamoured by the Pizza. Jesus: OoOoh yeahhhh. Sprinkle some Skrillex on it. She looks at the Skrillex, which has now started to vibrate and emit a sparkling silver cloud around it. Shop owner: change your mind? No, I just-- gotta-- The Skrillex starts whirring more loudly. She side eyes it confusidely, and shudders. Are you ok? (Echos, until she hears her own voice, exclaiming--) FLASHBACK: *GASP* ARE YOU OKAY? Her eyes widen. I'll be right back. She turns swiftly towards the bathroom; Jesus and the Angels are waiting, cooly and nonchalantly in front of the bathroom doors. As she shoves a paper plate at Jesus, she swings the bathroom door shut-- Jesus: Didja do the Sprinkles? The angels jump as the door slams. Jesus is unmoved, excited for pizza. The male angel shakes his head with a disgusted look on his face. You're a sick man, Jesus. (As he bites into a slice of pizza) hah. Thats what Pontiius Pilot said. Mmm. In the bathroom, Ū panics as she over thinks, sitting on the toilet hunched to think. She lets out a sigh, and as she looks up, realizes Jesus and the Angels directly in front of her, jesus still quite enjoying his pizza. ...Can I help you? We're here to help you. I didn't call for help. Uh, actually,you called me two times. I mean--not *just*-- Are you eating in the bathroom dude? Agh gross… I'm here to answer your prayers, I didn't know anyone had been listening to mine. ...what, dude, you pray for Pizza? Among other things. If I pray for you to leave, will you leave me alone? Prayers are answered in the order in which they are received. Wait, how many light-years did it take you to ressurect? ...light-years…? What?! Oh dang. She doesn't know. Oh, shit--should I have said "Spoiler Alert"? I feel like that's the least Jesus thing you can ever say. Not quite--and not that it matters. I served my time as Messiah. They didn't believe me, 2,000 years later… Nobody believes. Have you read the Bible? Oh, God. Oh, hardly. Oh, please. Wow, okay. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Can [ Skrillex]? I don't think that's a good idea. What's an idea? What would be the point? There is no point,I just want to. Why? It's not as if you haven't already, over and over. It still sounds good. So good you'd really put yourself through how bad it feels? (Like child birth) ((Like Ego Death)) (((Like, Love)) No, I don't know love. You don't? I know what love is. I know what I feel Emotion is the key… How do you feel? Like I want to listen to… What is your favorite album? Specifically, as it pertains to-- Explaining makes it worse, trying to clarify as if you haven't been thinking about it for at least a minute, suggests you know what I mean. What is a minute? A measurement, increments of seconds--60 makes a second. What is a second? I don't know that measurement. I know it's milliseconds, that make up a second,but they're so shirt, nothing really matters. A seco d is short enough. How short? Longer than an instant, but...that's about it. Well, then--whats an instant? Theoretically speaking, the space between nothing and something. So, an occurance of something? Or rather, as something occurs. What happens in an instant? Anything can happen in an instant. Anything? Anything. Like what? I believe, an instant--would set a point at which something occurs, or becomes an instance. Right here, right now Right here! Right now! --right then. All instances, at different places in time. But an instant means,that it happened quickly. Right here, Take a right--on Thyme. I need thyme Instant Sk-- I don't think this is getting better. I don't see it getting any worse. () He's alive was all that mattered fir a moment, but strangely, really, even as this evolves into an almost unbreable soul sweltering-- Soul-swealtering? Yeah. Why that? Because it's not soul crushing. I know that feeling all too well. It's like a. Wait, you can feel your soul? Ugh, yeah. I would hope so. ...what? Or maybe that's The Reason The Reason (Oh please, I couldn't even listen to it right now if wanted to. ) ((Oh, shit I really want to)) (((What was that, even? A panic attack?)) Something. And that's--why I hate myself so much. This sensitivity inside others don't seems to have. That shit hurt. Hurt how? On so many levels. Levels Avicii. Rock N' Roll Well, there's the Straight Razor you've been asking for--two of them, actually right on top of the Bible. Hey, how's that bible coming along? The one I wrote, started in,or Directed? That's… DEEP. (It isn't, that deep.) Hell? The pain. Okay, that shit is deep. Sometimes, I feel like this… whatever is trapped in this body I hate so much, just needs to fly. It really does hurt now, like all the time--sometimes is not as bad--like that panic attack, or a hyperventilation-- Okay, I need to Skrillex. Need? Need? Or, want? At this point, both, think? Why? Because if anything I intentionally set myself spinning was getting to the end of this endless River of-- Elysian Park. The lovers. Pink floyd. Chak Chel's tree. And the animated movie, where Chak Chel was just a "retard, maybe? I don't know" or something dragged along by her brothers who just wanted to party, but end up accidently leaving her and she just keeps time traveling using her magic of nature through water and eventually meeting with The Skrillex when the thing was just a tiny thing that whirred around repeating things and making certain sounds no one would hear for--wait which human era, or where is the thing that came from the Dimisionb where the SuoaCree and Skrillex on the mantle, or the dresser of the Scientist or something who invented these two intricate pieces of alien technology, so artfully and intricately desiged and allinged neatly by the window, where The Skrillex was still sleeping and he didn't even see The SupaCree leaving, alternately it was SupaCree who slept while The Skrillex crept out of the window, gettinng swept up by the giant thing I haven't really even seen, cause it's so big, so big that people just say "wait what is that thing" as it just sweeps the galaxy collecting all these interesting anomolies in space it's LSDream's infinitely expanding vast of bigger-than-a-planet massive thing repeats the phrases from the renegades of light while both expanding and colliding space in time and music side by side and while Bampheramphs and Psychonaughts like Dorothy all collide with other psychedelic fictions of our time which, by the way reminded by the way the Raven's like a writing desk, cause RAven's helping write is and The spider is the plug, a bug and chArlotte lost her mind when in somewhere around Christmas time I sang to silver bells and the vibrations aligned as only time would tell my that I still like to harmonise, and I remember when my cousins in the car who couldn't hear the harmony when we would sing to bars of gospel music, people like to spend their time in bars but I'd just rather look at shooting stars, and stars inside the eyes of drunken stars as I fly, a shooting star as I was stricken by a guy whose name which I refuse to write, but I'd excersise in time with an album that I like, or rather that I love and that's just what it is, I love the man no matter what but wonder what he thinks of someone so fucked up that has nothing someone who has and does everything genius mind mastering magic of music in the least, but I think I just might be obsessed with this celebrity; apparently however, everytime I close my eyes, to pray or meditate, or enter dreams, or take a trip eating anything, actually--just when I do anything it's Sorry Sorry Sorry just forgive me for being me, that's the album that I planned to do one day cause r can double as an n, I've said the n word 37 times, at least I don't know why that number but I hope I just don't have to be this stupid Dillon Francis fan who writes about the stupid things that nobody really watches DJs like I do, but I do cause I used to want to am a I might be a superstar DJ, like I need to be my DJS favorite DJ and the truth detector reads the truth when Supacree finally obliges the bad guys who keep asking who the TimeKeeper who holds the key and I guess that's right on time, as perfect timing binds the Triverse that she is together in the never ending, she'll just keep on searching for her buddy, or her best friend, or her hubby, whatever's possible possibly anything as magic brings about the rounds of tragedy collapsing fabrics planets lands and galaxies, dimensions where ascended Masters have to lead the good to defeat evil, SupaCree reset the balance as she laughs with Dillon Francis and she leaves The Skrillex stranded a galaxy with Sonny, as she sees it, cause she doesn't see--its easier that way, but out of mind he cannot be as she's combined with her devine a d has omnopitient exsistance as she visits with the people of her planet in a distant galaxy after the Apocolyltiic shit that just collapsed and vanish just begins, an intermission and an interview session where suggestions of the clips and flashbacks give the population of the planet, none of which are racist, having given all the bad away to Satan, which is fake because she made it up And nothing isn't nothing, Jimmy Fallon fucking loves it cause it's just a peaceful place where no one else can bother him and now it all makes sense, but it isn't the end because it's infinite, like infinite like "isn't this just a about one thing?" But everything happened in an instant, so the clips could go in any order, or we just delete it--bht she can't delete the Skrillex and she hyperventilates as she remembera something makes something makes something happen if you just change your perception to it had to be a positive then lost as fuck is really on the way to "here it is" and "where is skrillex" is the significance of what it is to be significant...it's intricately vivid and colorful, these visions, it's been just a year right now but Ive been learning from somewhere that an instant here is eternities in other places I have reached And "what did getter do?" Is being answered in the frequencies and I don't really care, I'd rather die then live inside a world that doesn't think a damned creating new things all the time but finds attractive pictures in a screen and scrolls and scrolls to like it and he just might cheat if she looks just like her profile right, but does she ever--all the filters for the catfish, tastes like dirt and nothing's worth it if I work this hArd to barely be an urchen on the giant animal, whatever urgens like to pasaste And I am just a person on the other side of paradice I go through all these places on the westside where I've died a thousand times, I don't know why I like it, that's just my life and I like to like my life, but life's expensive when it's nice and I could write all this and never get attention which is fine but I am writing this and never making money, that ain't right I don't really like the money, I just wanna sleep in side. I don't really hate my country, but I'm a vet that died because I said I'd run for president and someone in the white supremacy movement tried to have me killed not once or twice, but by the time I finally tried myself, they didn't even try to pump mys stomach in the white run republican undiscovered bleeding heart, the state that I was born in, which THe Skrillex digs in record time to find Chak Chel inside the SupaCree and then it flies away as Cree before the supaCree cries as she tried to figure out the how and why the mother ship is on the other side And she can her someome tell her to get inside and wonders how the song sounds like a skrillex set, like he was playing live inside her bluetooth set as she just tries to find it, cause it was her spofity, but sounds like all these sounds from guys that she admires dropping bass in side her mind and he was wasted, more than wasted, more than wasted at the time after she died and he was thrown into the world that did collide, the bird that really liked the boy who shot her and the microscope the scientist is eyeing is the scene in black and white and all this writing might be nothing like the points in any time where I'm just running on like raven does, and satalites find wall e and the SupaCree while dancing And I hate the way I just hate the way I can't get it all the way organized and how would I send it to Dillon or skrillex and what if I did this and get no response not a miniscule anything to the time that I put in the time that I wasted if I'm rally just in a life where my punishment is seeing someone die by my side a thousand times and writing everything I've seen while taking time talking to God and asking just to skate his life, while I've been pleading with the devil that he trade his death for mine and I become a tye died crypt keeper with diamonds on her sythe and I'm a psycho psychic psy-something oh wait, I like psy , but I remember blasting Skrillex out my window in the night the northern lights would dance and sing as I left my volume high in 825 where I was writing things for tv screens just leaving fiending for a cigarette and I get frostbite cause I cannot buy the gloves I need, or food to eat or anything at any time, I give my life to guys like Sketti and see Dammit all the time, and I never even got to tell Feysha fucking bye but just decided I'd leave dubstep on, which no one really liked it's like 09 or something, I don't know, it was another life, the title song I'd write to Vibrate but I didn't know the vibe just might be high enough from playing bass beside the northern lights for universal occurances or the torture that this is for everything I wish to be eventually granted either by death, or by snu snu, I refuse to live through poverty when all of me died in that room where the car where the place that the time where my daughter and son died. I haven't been write ever since. The pain to work another job I hate, not worth it, to stay chained to the ex who made me hate my entire being, because everything was my fault and my fault and my fault and my mom the default resulting in the revolting ball of all the ugly bodies in the world that's just this damaged sack of whatever road I'm on, but it won't be long, now, the monkey said and the monkeys dead and the monkey is me, if the white supremacy guys talking rught--or I'm an idol that might have the thing the world needs, but it can't see cause people have eyes and I just have love in my love and my love is my art is my I just can't get off this rollercoaster ride Scatta I died . But Choppa burned down the whole ride, I only got to ride it once, but it's fine--if he's been in hell since the time of the album where I liked to fly on the luggage carts flying as I'd do a job I didn't like But that was back when I was fine with making nothing for my time Now I'm either making someone that I really really like Or I'm dying, I would love to live If I could live inside. Satan runs my mother from the other side but I am really just my mother, who can also travel time. How'd I do that Oh, I remember thinking that it might be funny to have actor Jallel White arrive in cameos as-- Fuck this. Oh right, the roomba in the room that just Honey, come home please--we are worried about you. Heaven has been calling for while now. Maybe the dimension this makes sense in is in the next realm. That's just it. There is no knowing. I'm starting to get a clearer picture of it. You said the vision was vivid. Which Vision, most Visions are vivid. This is just inside your head. It's all in my head. Occult Classic. Nice. $40 for a long sleeve. You would wear it. I would buy it if I didn't have my pride and $40 I'll apply to something else. Like flying back to the town you said you'd burn down and your ex denies but threatened that the gang he's in will kill you-- That's what you'd like, right? Death, just as long as I die. It can't be suicide, the sin that left me punishing and writing sides for Dillon Skrillex Roiland That's a glib glob So am I. The longest drive that never was, was just hallucinations, right? And Chak Chel's sweat lodge before you found the rock where all the butterflies TH3 D3VILS D3N A deal with the Devil turns into a wild goose chase through Hell, after 'ASCENSION' CROSSOVER: The Ascended Masters SunnÏ Blū Saga Soundtrack: It Father Said,Skrillex 12th Planet Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Much Ado About Sunnï Blū Something Sunnï This Way Comes The Suite Life of Sunnï Blū I don't have any love left Just bitterness See to this, Hear to this This infinite pit I live in is just Limitless, It's endless shit I should just end it I should just end it I should just end it Isn't it time we get rid of this planet Animal magnetism It ends in headonistic and satanic Black magic rituals Marilyn, you fool I see right through you Evil eyes, and all the lies Never nice,. I won't supply you with the times Miss, miss Ms. Mrs. Marilyn Moore, maybe Oh, poor me, I see That'll be the day I bleed That'll be the day I bleed That'll be the day I bleed Into the sink Or into the sea Whatever suits me You just do what you want with your body Do whatever you want with my body, When I leave it, If it's not me It's not any concious being I'm just being honest, if Honesty is the best policy And polished lips is all I see Inheritance is all it means to be free If you inherit anything, You're better off than me If you can catch a man Without a personality Just hang me loosely from a noose Upon my very favorite tree Just tie the noose around my neck Display for everyone to see Just tie the noose around my neck The best of UCLA breeds The fallen angels, wicked saints Tainted flesh, Late postmates, Mistakes and meth to make the grade My love is fading Live is faded Love is blind and Love is jaded Close my eyes, though they are shaded Those remind me of a love I wish I hated I wish I hated him I wish I dated more I wish my name was Moore But Mrs. closed the door Evil sacred magic spells A tainted, bloody wishing well Well, my friends I wish you well If I could damn myself to hell I have I never left this place. The Beginning of The End of The Infinite Skrillifiles. I thought it was infi-- “The Blue Eyed Skrillex” It was weird. Sonny's unborn son travels back from his future and winds up in a... What does he want? To go back, I'm assuming. This scene? Is it written? It might be. How's this? Don't do this. I have to. ___ Oh YES—we were tie dying! Oh shit, now I remember. ___ DR Ya'll. Skrillex is an alien. OWSLA We know this. DR No, I mean-- like, for real. OWSLA Yeah. He is. Wait, Doctor WHO? Exactly. “DOCTOR WHOWSLA” (Lame.) EVERYONE We already knew that. DR No. But I mean, on some real shit-- OWSLA WE KNOW DUDE. Oh. [THE SKRILLEX (A Giant Alien Spacecraft) is Unveiled] What in the fuck sauce. [Siri Plays Duck Sauce] No, Siri--Okay, you know what? I'm not even mad. I love this. [Mini Dance Break-- Suddenly the Skrillex is activated by th--] Ohhh, I get it. Because, remember, it runs on-- Yassssss!!!! What the-- WOAH. What just happened? How'd you do that? I did not! Yes you did! It wasn't me! THE SKRILLEX: IT WAS U. Oh My God. What the fuck! This is crazy! I KNOW DUDE-- Are we terrified or astounded?! I AM SKRILLEX. AHHHH! PORQUE NO LAS DOS? THE SKRILLEX PLAYS ‘PORQUE NO LAS DOS, BY SUPACREE What is this? I love it. [Miniature Dance Break, even amidst the chaos Wait... I wrote this song. Wait--you did? This is you! Damn. That's fire. This is hot. You wrote this? Yeah, but...in the future. Wait, I thought there is no future. There has to be, Skrillex is in it. I AM SKRILLEX. Apparently, this is him. No it isn't! It is him. It has to be. But it isn't. It's him, he's just screwing with it. Who is this kid? What is she even doing here with us? She's going to help us find him. Close...but no. What do you mean? We've had several hundred experts listen-- There are several hundred ‘experts' in Skrillex. Several Thousands, more precisely, in this specific field of study, mind you. I do mind. This is a very serious matter, miss. Over it. I beg your pardon? Mind Over...Nevermind. But I do. *shrugs* Hm. The Audiobook Part II A funny series of chapters, if you can get through the burning tears of heartbreak. (Recorded January 2021) *Trigger Warning* Disclaimer: Sometimes, the truth hurts. Don't Kill Yourself. -LEAKY SPOILER BELOW- The Infinite Fandoms Are Watching Via Interdimensional Cable in Real-Time Live Action. SONNY/ SKRILLEX It wasn't me. SUPACREE Okay, Shaggy. (What the fuck is that supposed to mean?) ((All the DJ's will get it.)) SUPACREE So I guess this is not your sweater. SONNY/ SKRILLEX (Squints, guiltily lying.) No…. SUPACREE Oh, ffftt-- reat. I was only holding onto it because I thought it was yours, and actually gave a whole fuck about it. My mistake, fuck. SONNY/SKRILLEX ...right. SUPACREE So you don't mind if I just... burn it, right--? SONNY/SKRILLEX You wouldn't do that… SUPACREE Um, I might-- SONNY/SKRILLEX DON'T-- SUPACREE Don't what? Light this--not your--but completely random--sweater on FIRE? What might that do? [She flicks the bic.] SONNY/SKRILLEX STOP! SUPACREE Oh. Why Sonny? (Woah, how are these two on a first name basis?) (I told you he did it.) CUT TO: Jesus and his angels also really enjoy watching this show. Jesus has been on extended vacation for quite some time; He lounges carelessly, snacking on pizza in a cloudy, albeit, smoke-filled paradise. Two of his favorite Angels occasionally accompany him, carrying out tasks throughout the inner dimensions. JESUS Ohhhooo, Christ, I knew it. ANGEL 1 He is fucked. JESUS He's been fucked, now he's just done for. CUT BACK TO: SUPACREE Is this your sweater? SONNY/SKRILLEX (Guilty) ...it might be… SUPACREE I know it's your sweater, asshole! SONNY/SKRILLEX Ow! Okay! Fuck! [The BODYGUARD steps in.] CUT TO: Most DJs have interdimensional cable, and take guilty pleasure in watching the series unfold, sometimes working themselves to manipulate circumstances in the favor of the desired outcome. DILLON FRANCIS Oh, this Is getting W E I R D. ALLISON WONDERLAND It was always weird, now it's getting good. DEADMAU5 He is so fucked-- CUT BACK TO: BODYGUARD Hey,watch it! SUPACREE (To Bodyguard) Watch It? You watch it motherfucker! [The BODYGUARD steps back cautiously.] SUPACREE (CONT'D) My bodyguard will eat your bodyguard and--!! BODYGUARD Oh man…. FOUR TET Is that really your sweater? SONNY/SKRILLEX ...yeah… CUT TO: FANDOM How did she get his sweater!? CUT BACK TO: FOURTET Dude! How did she get your sweater? ON INTERDIMENSIONAL TV: How did she get his sweater?!!! SONNY/SKRILLEX I don't know… (I know how) SUPACREE Yeah Sonny, how did I get your sweater??? How did I do that? SONNY/SKRILLEX I--don't know! You probably stole it from my house! SUPACREE I don't even know where your house is! SONNY/SKRILLEX Google knows where my house is! SUPACREE GOOGLE KNOWS WHERE EVERYONE'S HOUSE IS. FAN She has a point. In the reality where it's a live-action, realtime gameshow: {DING} HOST A POINT! SONNY/SKRILLEX WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME? SUPACREE OK, RIHANNA. {DING} HOST ANOTHER POINT! CUT TO: ARMIN VAN BUREN is watching in literally every-possible infinite dimension, via a multitude of flatscreens, within his megaship. ARMIN Damn. CUT BACK TO: SONNY/SKRILLEX Your references are outdated. SUPACREE Well so are you. Here. [She tosses his sweater at him.] DILLON FRANCIS (Leaping up, distrubed) What is she doing?! DEADMAU5 (Sipping soda smugly through a straw.) Woah, she loves that thing. SONNY/SKRILLEX What? I--I don't want it---keep it. SUPACREE I don't want it. Take it back. SONNY/SKRILLEX No! SUPACREE Okay! [She flicks the Bic, Lighting the Sleeve On Fire] SONNY/SKRILLEX. Are you STUPID? SUPACREE No, worse; I'm SKRILLEX. {DING} HOST THATS A POINT! Well, That's III. CUT TO: ALICIA KEYS is a guest star on one of the infinite television shows in which this takes place; She reprises her classic song on stage in front of a live studio audience, as the events are projected on megascreens behind her. ALICIA KEYS This girl is on FIRE!!! SUPACREE So's that sweater, isn't that significant, or something? SONNY/SKRILLEX Oh, shit--yeah--Hey-- [Emptiness] Then: A Portal Opens. The Audiobook Part III Copyright Protected by Writers Guild of America, West ‘Thieo' makes his final wish (for his truest and everlasting love) to his appointed Acceded Sorcerer; but there are trials he must endure and obstacles to be met before his wish come true— C'Esmett— A warrior princess raised to rule is on the brink of going rouge, after she is betrayed by her betrothed —her calling to become queen is imminent; yet she must overcome boundaries set by tradition, facing the powers-that-be to strengthen and master her own. Her ancient knowledge, ascended sorcery, and intrinsic healing mysticism— amongst other gifts of nature (a seer, fortune of truths; being of light) Into The Future A Divine Psychic's Reaffirmations of The Reflective Premonitions from A Life Lived Infinitely There's no doubt that I have been unbreakably and unbearably tied to the future which I once foresaw, and still oftentimes do with the reminders of each lucid love once set in place as a code, a language spoken between those of us in this realm, and those ascended beyond the duty of this existence. Though names continue to blur and confuse the true presence of either's auras. I've come to believe almost to a point of knowing the connection between myself, Dillon Francis, and Sonny Moore—Respectively and as a conglomerate the latter mentioned a fluid and translucent reflection of myself in every sense that all he is up to this point is all of what I am, and also am not. Though careless now in my regards to that of what may actually happen behind this point, there are broad visions of certainty pertaining to the realm of infinity, with the extended knowledge of what has already, and what will happen, if allowed to be so. Still, careless in the overall outcome, I can only help to wonder which circumstances I have received not in the energetic form of thought or imagination, but in the broad and astral cosmic visions of what lie ahead, as I have finally come to gracefully l accept and respect my very psychic sensibilities. Annie's just another body Men like bodies I'm just another heart, but Men like bodies We are both broken, but Men like broken bodies Broken hearts are just Impossible responsibilities Irresponsible possibilities I'm not Annie I'm not Claire, Not Marilyn Not Supacree Not Skrillex...or, Sonny Not anybody that has to be Something or anything For anybody's anything I'm nothing nothing Nothing nothing Nothing nothing Nothing nothing Sorry I'm Amy My baby, he Drops the album, goes on tour I'm crying on the kitchen floor But I'll be at the bottom Of every bottle In the eyes of every model In the smile of every dancer Behind every mirror Today and tomorrow All this impossible Irresponsible, improbable Honorary God-awkward Opera of songs is Converted to a catalogue I'm sorry I bothered Don't knock, if Opportunity comes, Just rocket. The Audiobook Part IV [Scary Monsters and SupaCree] A Living Lion; The eyes inside, I smiled, declined to act on impulse He'll admit, She's less complex, cause she's basic Everthemore complacent, blatantly lazy-- and crazy adorable. Whatmore could any man want? Whatmore could any man need? Whatmore could any man have; But the best friend who needed therapy, Several Plastic surgeries, A fading glass menagerie-- If she knew what that means. (Basically, they're both nobodies.) ‘What on God's awful green earth makes you think I would ever want anything to do with either of you two Losers? Beggars can't be choosers. His plan B was Annie; But she was never like me Enough to be Happy with Sonny; Let alone anybody. What is happening? Do you have an explanation of what's happening to me. Every realm of reality and possibility. This is infinity. What is this all supposed to mean to me? You can see everything and nothing; You can be anything. So what would that mean? What does it mean to you? That Love is Love, then. I've been half of a wide-open bleeding heart, Since the Goddamn start of it. He started it, Or someone did I didn't ever ask for it I was only ever always on the dancefloor when it mattered. I was always looking past him, but not ever looking at him. It was always just at random, but i'd never thought to ask him A question, Or to greet him-- I just. Adjust. They're watching us, from above. Adjust. They just don't trust us. Adjust. Look what we've done, look what we've done to the planet that gave us all the light that we come from. Look, there. It appears to be ‘shimmering' What exactly is happening? The entirety of its surface is Auquous. Oceana. If i learn all the planets, In the everlasting galaxies-- And learn how to explore it… I just might get to Skrillex. I might fully need a Xanex bar if I ever see this kid in person. He's olden than you. By like, a minute. Still. I mean, really. I don't think this is ever going to work. It might not work, I mean-- What? If you had to actually-- Oh God, no; I'd be far too nervous. So what are you going to do when it comes time for festival season? Run. Hide. Run + Hide. Fight or Flight; A Natural Response to Skrillex There is no natural response to Skrillex, because it's unnatural. Be civil. I am I ‘m trying to figure out how to protect this species. Oh now, you're acting as if he's not human Of course he is. But i'm not. Of course. All it is, is science, a bit of misunderstanding. Experimental sorcery, possible exploitation. I'm not exploiting Skrillex. No, he's exploiting YOU. No. Wake the fuck up. No. (Stop repeating yourself) Wake up; you're being manipulated. By Skrillex? Cool. By whatever's manipulating Skrillex. Alright. Alright? You're part of a machine. So? “SO?” You're this comfortable having given your soul up to the devil. I haven't done that.

christmas god united states america jesus christ love time death live money black head friends father google peace power bible spirit man pandemic prayer mother lost soul las vegas spoilers hell mexico magic french song west truth deep dj ms masters secrets fire government reading seattle planning devil playing evil elon musk mistakes kanye west universe speak focus satan mom leaving angels fame pass grammy pizza soundcloud massachusetts run fall in love wake matrix humans leads alaska fight shop hurt blind sick mothers straight empathy golden mine burn flight dinner scientists ucla worse longer doom kick eat falling in love burning korea damn honestly throw lol pure define fuck remix pink emotion exciting racist vip bass honesty soft mcdonalds hide twelve bananas bet rihanna solid distance bitch pi multiverse camping confused excuses excuse superstar explaining visions stocks infinite inheritance shut directed djs taco bell firm red bull void rest in peace copyright trapped bloody separate nah tenet currency suit silly delicious display lighting devils laptops ridiculous men in black limitless martyrs rick and morty djing cc experimental mm adjust rude rave rabbit hole leaked sir jag pussy resentment pulled alligators pineapple acceptable jimmy fallon spit technically lame dome bodyguards nevermind arriving static int cree craziest yolo wasting hm shaggy encyclopedia davenport terrified timelines beggars soul food sprinkle skrillex kmart utilities impressed el chapo gluttony bruh oh god addictive death wish ew los angeles county mmm ancient aliens insomniacs oh my god lk polarity sunglasses dammit live set whispering pronounce shhh isreal goddamn donald duck rock n french fries plural unacceptable shifted florida keys imma shove spirit animals stfu mating agreed murdering marshmello kel tainted shes sunni starstruck crackheads ahem san andreas sprinkles rap battle endowments ascended masters one job thyme much ado demonstrates dillon francis writers guild motherfuckers precisely bic omnipotence echos elaborate theoretically hah infinitely ohh oh yes aww dreamtime fumes uhhh oceana ext x2 dandelions koreatown sike excision murder suicide getter nooo mcflurry serato sunn vibrate coughs blam bangarang awestruck omniverse timekeeper on god you do you agrave agh psh batshit yuh ufff global government samiam befuddled what the hell top djs not to be iridescent obscured timmy turner valee owsla s13 god oh starlit rekordbox are you ok kill yourself handset that love i told albuterol straight razor jesus don lsdream save the rave xanex marilyn moore sonny moore angel no levels avicii
The Big Take
20 Extra Tons of — Ahem — Cargo

The Big Take

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 34:20


In 2019, US officials seized a massive cargo ship called the MSC Gayane in the Port of Philadelphia. On board, they found containers filled with products of all kinds that the ship had picked up along its global route. They also discovered cargo that didn't appear on the ship's manifest—40,000 pounds of cocaine. Bloomberg investigative reporters Lauren Etter and Michael Riley join this episode to tell the wild story of how one of the world's biggest cargo ships became an unofficial courier for a notorious European drug cartel. Learn more about this story here: https://bloom.bg/3FrTHiu Listen to The Big Take podcast every weekday and subscribe to our daily newsletter: https://bloom.bg/3F3EJAK  Have questions or comments for Wes and the team? Reach us at bigtake@bloomberg.net.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]
@ The Other Job ***leaked***

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 40:57


Three artists preform the same spell with entirely different intentions—in some dimensions. [Muffled thud] What's the wish? These, three. Burning daisies, are we? No, just Dandelions. Separate them. The hearts?! All of them— —Spirit I swear to God. —don't// ‘Skrillex is my Spirit Animal'. —and, Soul. What of the flesh? It will wound and perish but will not bond or be bound to death, until it again becomes as One. What is THIS? I honestly-/ Honestly!! Honestly thought, this was a movie about: —Skrillex. —Dillon Francis — A S Ū P E R S T A R DJ [ARTIST] ...okay… Ooh, good alternate. The Womp WOMPING Willow will beat your ass into believing you are— whatever it tells you, you are. DJ. NO. “DJ.” NO. NO DJ. NO. NO—DJ. I don't think D.J. wants to be a DJ. Nobody wants to be a DJ. Shut up D.J.—you're a D.J. Too—you Motherfucker!!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! [hey motherfucker—Timmy trumpet] aww, poor PJ Lol. Poor Billy. B.J.—the DJ I don't like this sign. It looks bad. Take it down. “BJ THE DJ” TAKE IT DOW— CUT TO: DJ?! That's the Fuxking WORST. AGHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!!! IM NOT A DJ!! “Not a DJ” You— SUPERSTAR DJ SKRILLEX HUH. EVERYBODY ELSE HUH. —Skrillex—the world's first “SUPERSTAR”DJ” NUH - UH YAH HUHHH! NAH AUGHHHGGHHHH!!! UH-HUHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AGHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAaaahhahgahhahahhahhaagghhhhhhhhhhhhhh… [go to sleep.] SKRILLEX Nherr. —?? THE WOMP WOMPING WILLOW *voiced by Valee, Jermih MEGA DJ —WHAT IS THAT?!— Oh no. Don't do this, I didn't wanna. (Crying) I don't wanna He really don't wanna. So make ‘em. —- So. So. He's going to college— Yes. Is this a joke___? Is it? IS IT? ...mmmm...nope…. As part of his prison sen— Yep. For Mass Murder. Yep. SHUTTHEFUCKUP— [does.] Jesus Christ, what is his power? JESUS Don't ask me. Only he knows. Only he knows. HE DOESNT KNOW. But she does. Okay look. What. Look. ‘Skrillex and Supacree Scrap turned Barroom Brawl' ...no. “NO?” [Looks: it's bad] Imma have that ® Goddamn it, don't. Don't do what Make that face. Agh. Or that one. Ufff. This is a scuffle. Who let him in here. They beat the shit out of each other, with bass, and bassball bats. I thought it was theatrics! Insomniac has incredible production value!!!! [brutal Bloody murder] Bass heads: AGAHAHAJABSNAKAJAABDKSMA SNSKAOZJSNSLALZKS—- #All that. Kenna & Kel? Yeah broh!! Live Set?! yah broh!! SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE SET ooh, what's this. BITCH. [LIZ LEMON] PICK UP YOUR SKRILLEX. *obnoxious super drunk fart* (Especially, for a woman!) Hey/-! You can't say that! You can't not say that!! WHAT DOES EQUALITY MEAN? gross man farts— FLATULENCE GREATER-THAN, Stop this joke. OR EQUAL TO Okay. —SKRILLEX!!!!!!! Get out, now. I got it. —- Ext. Boston, Massachusetts. Day SUPACREE [A / DJ] ‘SKRILLEX' is an extraterrestrial entity which manifests variously through specific forces, subjects, and beings. Though masking her true identity, CC STONE, the chosen secret identity of the mysterious SUPACREE, has been in hiding, though knowingly under conspicuous monitoring. SKRILLEX uses telepathy, as to remain intractable to the extent of normal human capacity, or even the most advanced technology, to continue evading the various government entities and agencies seeking to study this ‘intangible energy'. Having become a guiding force and ‘imaginary friend' of SUPACREE, masquerading as unassuming and low-key traveler ‘CC', the pressures of dark forces arise in the form of hostility, which SKRILLEX combats quietly, most recently, silently. After decoding a specific series of dream sequences projected post-consciously, ‘CC', wrought with anxiety, contemplates secretly relocating, anticipating more terrorism from her own home country; She begins formulating a way to escape further being targeted secretly. TImelines begin intercepting, as NATALIE from DEATHWISH is contemplating jumping from the 6th story of the same apartment building; CC/SUPACREE considers this, but focuses on a positive solution more diligently, meditating. Upon returning to her studio, CC begins cleaning and, although she's only just finished eating, begins preparing another meal to eat; As the energy moves around her, she begins to move automatically; now fully aware of SUPACREE's shifting abilities. She submits in silence, sighing in relief as a greeting. SKRILLEX Listen to me. CC I'm always listening. SKRILLEX I am leaving. CC pauses in silence; The room is grey and empty; Then, she remembers something. ‘The Skrillex Project' was intended to be temporary. | Oh please, there is no Skrillex. Of course there's a Skrillex. No, there isn't. There is, you're just limited. Of course I'm limited; look at this. Look at this place! What happened here? This is it, since it...shifted. Shifted? What the fuck does that mean? The polarity. "Polarity" ? --And, that planet is off of its axis entirely. Entirely? Are you just repeating everything? "Everything?!" This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. Say that three times. No. Do it. No way. Just say it. No way, man, I'm not summoning Skrillex. It was your idea. I changed my mind! Pussy! I was just kidding! I didn't think we were actually gonna do it. Come on dude, just say it, just say it! No way. One of you say it! No way! Fuck it, I'll say it. NO! Fuck that! Oh, fuck you guys. It's not like it's going to work, anyway. It might! And then what? Nothing's going to happen, I'll prove it. Skrillex is Ridiculous Skrillex is Ridiculous Skrillex is Ridicu--- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The lights come on, the boys stare at eachother in confusion and disbelief; the sound of loud footsteps as someone coming down the stairs enters the basement they are gathered in. Sonny, only slightly startled, unassumingly looks up at the group of preteens, and seems for the most part unbothered. Hey guys. The boys just stare. Oh my God. What? You're Skrillex! Yeah but-- RUN!! Three boys from a separate dimension have caused their own "nonexistence"; in their own reality, Skrillex (which can literally be an ambiguation of anything, If everything is everything and so forth) does not exist, and his his actual existence is thought to be fictional, historically misrepresented, or inaccurate--being told as an urban legend How long after the first scene is this happening? Well, I mean...I don't know. Well, we know these kids come from SIR; Technically, but I think this happens before SIR has been established, since upon returning home, they all know Skrillex is real, spreading the story among the skeptics and being exhausted after Skrillex, looking for somebody stumbles through their dimension and gets trapped in it, quickly gaining a global cult following,coining the term "Skrillex is real", eventually leading to Skrillex, Isreal. Which I guess makes sense. It makes sense! The neighbor kids again? Yeah. ____ Get this: they changed the word "slave", to "employee"; bit it still works the same! Oh man! And I mean, they get paid, but they have to pay their wages back to basically the same companies the money came from… You're kidding. I'm not. I wish I was. This is fucked--(up) This is fucked up. I mean, the people on this continent aren't even eating, so I mean. Woaaaahhh, whaaaaat. I know, it's the whole place. But it's mostly this "United States", it's full of baby rapists and run by these... white supremacy people, and they raise cows just to make “steak”. Woah. Right? And the slaves just take it, they pay for everything they make! She's gonna be so mad when she sees this. Don't tell her. We have to; they just planned an entire pandemic, and it's entire purpose-- What is Purpose? --in this country, it's currency. "Currency?' what is "currency"? The Legend of SupaCree follows an involuntary “hero” on her adventures, after her powers become unlocked; Now, she must join forces with the other DJ's to Save The Rave. _____ SupaCree refuses to tell anybody anything. (After Pre-edc scene) oh dude, that's a lot. It is a lot. She still hasn't told her mom you're “Skrillex” Ugh, no. And she makes me shop at K-Mart every time we go over there. You got that at K-Mart? It's nice. Yeah. Where did you find a K-Mart? ______ Where is “Earff”? _____ Bampheramph training is considered complete once the trainee “stops crying”, thus begins the official recruitment process, which includes but is not limited to reaching various ‘extremes', which differ by context. ____ Every red cup is just Another broken heart, Another broken dream, Another broken record, Playing on repeat … … … Wheres my Skrillex? Which-- So, Skrillex… You can call me Sonny. ...Skrillex... O...kay… [She squints suspiciously at him and jots something down in her notebook.] ____ So, do you use Serato, or Rekordbox? Neither I just [Demonstrates] What the fuck does that even mean? It means you can [Demonstrates] 1____1 How is he doing this? Magic. I'm not going to fight for him. Do you honestly think this is happening to anybody else? Maybe. Honestly? Infinite. Infinite Skrill-- Infinite fucking everything. I'm not about to try to explain it. So what are you going to do? I don't know. The worlds gone mad she is, but she's not a man. She's trapped in a casket Can't listen to the map And can't imagine he'll ever come back Jag parked, smogs bad and she has a plan But can't get past the magnet Magic has its way of making things go crazy Why don't you just--& Oh what? Have my people call his people? Something like that His peopl I had a dream About a tent About a temporary tenant This christmas, its Resentment, Tension And whatever this is… Oh yes, "This is Skrillex…" wayward Hey. Hey. So, uh. So. What's wrong with you? ....what? What's wrong. Whats...wrong? --With you. SupaCree summons Skrillex. Skrillex. Stop it. Fuck you. Skrillex. Seriously, stop You stop. Skrillex-Skrillex-Skriooex o Oh no Just stop. In the parallel where… SŪpAcree has become a disastrously egotistic and diva-like superstar, we see she is in this world, outwardly bitter, rather angry and despondent, having learned to capitalize best not being herself. A young intern helps to prepare an event; His trainer, an astute and rigid stage manager, after finishing a series of detailed questions about the theatrical performance and it's various attendees-+ leaves the intern alone for "just a minute" handing them her clipboard as she hurriedly rushes elsewhere. The intern scans the clipboard, flipping the front page over to reveal a hidden note. Taking the initiative (trying to be assertive in the newly appointed position), asks nervously... ...And what about Skrillex? Who? Skrillex. Who the fuck is that? Its...Skrillex. Tell me who that is. Uh… Go ahead. The intern stands, frightened at her anger. The stage manager returns. _______________ I hate this shit, it isn't fair. It isnt Wheres my phone? __ Woah. You did all this for Skrillex. Pretty much. Yeah. I guess. Yep. Wow. Okay. You would. (I did) Burn it. What? Fuck that! Ughhhhh. No. Sonny/fictional skrillex: Do you know why ai put you in this fucked up dimension? Me: WHAT? YOU DID THIS? NO--WHY--?? Sonny: So you could get your shit together. Me: well, that's fucked up. S/FS: I DID NOT think it would take this long Me: well, how long is it supposed to take? S/FS: I don't know… Me: ...well, how long does it usually take? S/FS: So wait; You guys from the future-- Fathomable future. Uh-huh Have seen the show? Yes. My show. Mm-hmm. / Well then, how does it start? ----------------------------- I already told you, no. Yes. I'm not going to Skrillex. You have to go. No. What the fuck is NO. I'm not going. WHAT? What. You have to go. Who says? We do. Okay. Okay. [beat] Who the fuck are you? OOH, ARE WE STILL BLEEPING OUT THE SKRILLEX? Yes. Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny You so Funny Funny Funny Funny Funny Funny Funny Do you Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me I'm so Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly And I'm nothing Without you Was this a song? Probably. Looks like a song. Seems like a song to me. Nobody should ever hear this. Define…”nobody” The Song has become a number 1 hit radio sensation. What the fuck is my life. What the fuck is your life. I don't know what the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuuuuuuck . Speak of the devil— (Terrified) what? Dillon Francis is here? What? No—it's just Skrillex, he's just...here to collect. What?! What, dude—Skrillex is your plug? Uhhh. For what? Where else am I gonna get premium space bass? Aaahh Gasp I knew it! I knew something about you was really Skrilly. Hella Skrilly. *doorbell rings* Ok, no Skrilly in front of the— He is magically just, suddenly inside. In front of the what? The two stand starry eyed in amazement. ...hey… X2: hey… Should we step outside? Oh, come in— —I did. I see that. (Lol )Right in He did that. He always does. This...transaction is private. It's fine. You guys are alright—maybe—breathe a little— —large gasp, has not been breathing since Skrillex...what did he even do. He like, apparated No—apps—no. There's no fire. He didnt apostate. Alright then, teleport. That silently? Yeah, I mean teleportals also are like: —actual teleportal, which is a huge, very not quiet, black hole like vacuum with lots of colors, lots of light— Oh. Well, how did he get in, then? He shifted. “What the fuck is Shiffted!?” The SupaCree and The Skrillex share these commonalities: *S13 (13th power ) —- Dude! I got the key! You got the key, yeah, it's one of these. A bunch of keys in a wheelbarrow. Dude. What. The fuck. I don't know! I just know, she told me the key was on the key ring WHAT keyring dyde?! This is just a wheelbarrow full of KE*T! [wheelbarrow full of ketamine] AHEM. *wheelbarrow full of keys!! (He produces a heavy chain which appears to (not really) link the keys together We...keychain. —Meanwhile— God deletes all the Florida Keys—except for one— _________________________ I will not “go” to the “Skrillex Reddit” Go to that place. No way. We are going to the internet for ONE thing—and one thing only. “We are gonna skate to one song, and one song only. BALL SO HARD MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA—“ No. One thing. Yes, I thought it was Skrillex. We never go online for Skrillex. Okay. Not even shopping. Alright, let's go. You don't even know what we're going for I hope he hears this She says “I hope he makes it” And by she, I mean me And I've been prayint for a way to try to say this stuff— Spit it out Turn it up— Woah...okay! Okay what? What are you gonna do with all this Skrillex? Uh… …? …Just throw it out. Throw it out!? Yep. Why would you do that? *Shrugs* Don't need it. Don't need it!? Yeah, I just said that. Are you serious? Yes. Throw it out. No way. If you're gonna do that…I'll take it! You want it? W--Fuck yeah! For what? I don't know. I'll think of something. Okay. Yeah? Yeah...whatever. Yes! ...okay….Just--come help me lift this. “The Great Big Book of Skrillex” This...is just an Encyclopedia. ...you bought encyclopedias? I needed them for my library. ...you have a library? It isn't finished yet. It isn't...finished…? Not yet. They're installing the elevator. There's an elevator? Of course there's an elevator; it just doesn't get to the library. Yet. I meant— Come on. What did you do to my house ? Well, after I put the fire out— What fire? The main one. —there were, of course, several smaller fires— What The Hell? And now there's just that one. A fireplace? When did I get a fireplace? Well, I needed an easier way to get in and out. —where does it go? Out the chimney. —wait, did you just say “in and out”? That sounds good. I wish they had a vegetarian menu. French Fries? Uh huh. Is that it? I think so. —Meanwhile— GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR SAUCE. Ohhh, get ketchup. Sorry, we're out of ketchup. Out of ketchup? Yes. Okay, can I just have special sauce then? We are out of sauce. What. Every sauce? All The Sauce. GODDAMMIT DILLON FRANCIS. I hope this isn't like the Skrillex thing. We're still under the limit. Kick it. Obscured by a plume of misty light gray clouds, an entire city is enamoured and mystified by a mysterious force, as The Skrillex lands on earth, from deep space. __ Ah, it's gonna be like this again. “kliptown empyrean” Kliptown with a K-- Ooh, lets move to Korea Town! Wait. (bass) ___ ___ ___ ___ Remember the birds? I remember everything. No, you don't (hey) I remember everything. (Hey) That's great What's this? A wedding ring What's a “wedding ring”? Let me explain. Hey, I just might be a writer Hey, This happens every day-- This makes me crazy. Hey, This is the time and place What is “time”? Let me explain. Hey, This is what being a writer means; It means the typing comes out lyrically and everything is rhythmic; but recitation makes interpretation Different Oh, I get it; It's blank. No names, I'm saying Anyone who wants to say the line can say it, If it makes sense. __ So, you're telling me; I can go anywhere in the world… Yes. Anywhere in the-- Paris. I'm not quite white enough. Nobody cares, it's-- 10 karats. Delicious. No, it's--karats, it's a measurement. Why would you bring melatonin to this event? I have problems sleeping. Why would you fall asleep at a RAVE. Why? I'm still sleeping. I'm still needing attention; Why didn't you just leave me? Just leave me! Just leave! Just-- Adjust. ...have you seen this? What is it? It's a galaxy. No it isn't. It's about to be. No it isn't, it's just-- “Let's blow this popsicle stand” MOM!!! (((WOW))) What happened? I don't know, it just ended. What do you mean “it just ended?” It did, it just-- MOTHERFUCKER! What? Well, here come The Men In Black... and Skrillex. (Ohh, I get it.) ((You should get it, you're the one writing it.)) Oh shit, did you just say Skrillex-- Yeah, Skrillex-- Did someone just say-- DON'T say it again. Please. I gotta go. Go?! Go where? If he's here, i”m late-- Late for WHAT? Your set is in 10 minutes! No, it isn't, it's in 9. (It's Twelve, actually) This isn't it, is it? This is it. Then where's Skrillex? Skrillex? Skrillex!!! GODDAMMIT. S Ū P A Skrillex gives me angina. [SKRILLEX = ANGINA.] I —And vertigo. S Ū P A And now, vertigo— and I only recently found out what that even is. ME I'm so sick of Skrillex MYSELF —Sick of Skrillex— I I hate Skrillex. CUT TO: SKRILLEX SKRILLEX: ...okay, fuck this. S Ū P A C R E S Fuck this motherucker! SKRILLEX; Fuck this job. S Ū P A C R EE I— HATE HIM— SKRILLEX —I hate this. S Ū P A FUCK THIS SHIT. SKRILLEX ...fuck this shit. S Ū P A I AM OUT. [SKRILLEX just leaves.] -!!!- THE END. I love what you did with the tectonic plates. Thanks. And the bubonic plague. Well, you can't just throw poop in the streets. Humans! ___ Skrillex?! Wait, seriously, Skrillex? We have Skrillex. You do?! Of course we do! Don't be ridiculous! Skrillex. Skrillex is ridiculous. Skrillex is ridiculous, yes. ___ Skrillex and Dillon Francis fight for the win, as they battle for their "biggest fan" and vets*bets are placed to see which 'body of work' is completed first. BODY OF WORK. I said. That--that's my entry. So. It doesn't matter, anyway. I've got more scenes. Of course you've got more scenes, it's more cost effective. She's got a sick business model. Oh yeah, where's this 'business model?' It's at your mom's house. (Good, she's very organized) (Yeah, I bet.) (...how much?) -------- Skrillex is ridiculous. Skrillex is ridiculous, yes. ___ Chak Chel, I'm almost done with the list-- Then where are you? I'm...on my way back, I'm just having a little trouble understanding the last thing on the list, it just says - Skrillex-??? Yes. Like...the person? Precisely. ...what do you want me to get from Skrillex? Just go get him. ...and then what? Bring him here. What! His head springs up toward the sky. Looking directly "at God" You want me to bring him to you? I don't think that's a good idea! Of course it's a good idea, Dillon. It's my idea. What the fuck. Don't give me your fucks right now, I don't have time, Dillon. Just go- How am I supposed to explain this? One thing at a time. [She hangs up him; he looks at his phone, scrolled through his contacts, and dials a number.] Hello, you've reached Skrillex; We are reviving more calls than we can answer at this time. Your call is very important- Please hold, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. Soft music begins to play. What the fuck. Your estimated wait time is: One hour and, fifteen minutes. The music resumes. …wow. He places the phone into a holster over the dash and programs his navigation to a location on the map, (Later) >>you had ONE job. I had a lot of jobs, actually--i was even a firefighter, at one point-- ONE JOB. That was a long list! Why do you ask? This man, who is he? SUPACREE has been procrastinating telling SONNY anything about anything; However, Everything is Everything. SUPACREE Listen, Skrillex told me something-- SONNY Skrilllex?! You talked to Skrillex?! Where is he?! SUPACREE Look, I don't know exactly. But it said SONNY It's a “he” SUPACREE ...he said--and I mean like like, really really clearly-- SONNY What'd he say? SUPACREE “I am leaving.” SONNY ...He said that? SUPACREE That's what he told me. SONNY I knew it. SUPACREE Wait, you knew?! SONNY I always knew. ...what part is this? I guess this is the part before we go into that whole backstory? What whole backstory? Which--backstory? How Sonny met Skrillex. Oh! Wait, wha--? THE END ________ J3SŪS Pïzz∆. The Diva SupaCree and the Egomaniac Skrillex are the worst possible combination of people possible. [Note* Because she has gained worldly powers through weath and fame, she has no Spirit magic, making her cosmic creation ability react randomly in heightened states of panic,anger, and tantrums--whuch often result in the uncontrolled (and unexplainable, mostly) accidental shits through time and reality, usually working in her favor, however feeding the fire which continues to consune her soul with the worldly evils of capitalism. A large dark and ominous karmic justification, less of her actions than by her attitude, is set in place to manage her habits, resetting her on the path to saving humanity.] This version of SupaCree is overly confident, sometimes pompous, in love with herself (even in the mirror, as her Omnipotence and awareness grows stronger in the other bodies of her collective conciousness.) Being enabled to do whatever she wants, she begins hosting large scale productions, flaunting other the top and sometimes nonsense "showing-offs" , even going as far as to hire an entire lineup of the worlds Top DJs just to watch her preform, giving 3 VIP tickets away to another concert, where they are escorted from yo her set to preform as spotlight artists, after having insures that they would bomb on stage--beginning as a Rap Battle, where she totes a Golden and rhinestone hammer, which she uses as a prop--but as the cosmic power from within acts with intention the hammer takes on a life of its own, controlled by the telekieisi of the princess through another dimension; after the hammer eliminates the X and Dillon Francis, Pasqualle (actually Dillon Francis) is spotted out in the front row, and ousted as a time unraveling fraud of conciousness, then transforming into a gavel, this beginning the judgement of the above-ground portal of punishment, as it plunges the party goes into dungeons and alternate dimensions as The Diva SuoaCree and The Egotistical Skrillex basically battle to the eventual death of thousands instantly, as they "beat the fuck out if eachother with bass" collapsing the mainstage and sinking through a giant Rabbit Hole as the San Andreas fault line begins the apocolyse as depicted in 2012, Arriving in Hell, creating a second stage inside the Rave Cave Satan Created--where they have the CRAZIEST raves. While the battle between good and evil has officially begun, as the intergalactic space race to locate the planet at the exact right time space, era, and age becomes reckless, creating voids in space, creating a now expanding outward compressing inward collapsing contraction, the Multiverse and it's ever expanding realms are collapsing and colliding as reality shatters, a concept concivable by the extra terrestrials of advanced conciousness and evoked evolution--but it's hell-meets- heaven on earth as portals between worlds, basically, the best, most horrifying lazer light show in history, allowing fictional characters and science fiction to become reality,as worlds collide into one. The humans trapped in a eaveless covid 19 are blissfully ignorant, raving at home--meanwhuke the world, while also fighting a war where literally anything goes and everything is everything, as the laws of physics or any science ever apply. The occult magicians are at an advantage, able to harness the magic of the changing alignments, as the Ascended Masters plans to move the planet, keeping it out of the Global Government pact between the Intergalactic Planetary Waste Management and specifically The United States, as the evil Government--the same that launched the multiple attacks on both the Original Cree, SupaCree and The pSupaCree, still hatching plans within it's branches ran by white suprimisests and cult leaders or religious and prestigious organizations of protected traffickers, drug lords, and other evil rich people who continue to work towards the irreversible, certain and complete death, from which she cannot ressurect. The certain death SupaCree results in a I TOLD you she would be here! No WAY (At Skrillex) Whose that guy? WOOOOOOAAAHHH. ...Did you get it? After this, we're done--right? No more of this sh- Did you get the Laptop? *Sighs* Yeah, man--I…Yeah. It's right here. Good. None of this is "good", okay--this is the total opposite of "good", this is *not* good. It's ruining her life. You agreed. I didn't think it would go this far--I mean--Everything? Everything is Everything. Where is it? ...it's...here. *sets it down on the table* K. Now get out. (He puts his hands up mockingly) yeah dude, I'm out. We're like, good, right--? Like, I don't need anymore bad karma-- Oh, now you wanna be "good" You know what I meant. This is fucked up. She prays for you. Maybe now she'll realize she should be praying *to* me. *Befuddled, over it* Alright dude, good luck with...whatever…Just...Don't call me anymore. When have I ever called you directly? Just don't. He walks away, bursts out of the front doors frustratedly. Leaving the lair, Dillon is snatched, scary kidnapper style. Trying to reach the plug; it goes to voicemail, then immediately recieves a text. Sorry, my schedule's pretty hectic. I got class all day and then I'm going out of town. Ok. Sorry love. Damn...now what am I supposed to...huh Later Guy: well, I don't have any of that here, but what about this? He pulls out a Skrillex (after we are introduced to the dimension where the Skrillex becomes a popular device--but much like a googleflab (from Rick and Morty), it has many ambiguous uses. her eyes light up, as the Skrillex begins to glow. Oh...that…? Does it bother you? ...um… Go ahead. I...uh...I can't. You can't? Well why not? I just don't...really… Skrillex anymore. Why not? Everybody loves Skrillex. ...Yeah. C'mon. Try It Out. (Oh, God.) (('Oh God' WHAT? I'm busy.)) (((Go, quickly, please.))) I think...I think I'll skip that. What, are you trying to be a nun? ...Uh… Angel: you'd be a terrible nun. ...uhhh... Angel 2: shuttup. Hey. No? Suit yourself. It's here if you change your mind. ...Thank... you. The man walks away, and she lets out a slight sigh of relief. Angel: Don't be a pussy! What are you doing here? Angel: Telling you to STFU. I didn't say anything. Angel: SKRILLEX THE FUCK UP. Wow. Angel: Be a man! I'm not. Skrillex! No. Angel No? What's no? Skril--!! Angel 2: shutthefuckup. Thank you. Angel: what?! Angel 2: Ignore him; listen to me. Acceptable. Angel 2: You need Skrillex. Unacceptable. Angel: what, why? What is wr--(ong with you?) Angel 2: shhht! Look, this is important. Who sent you… ? They point "up". You're going to have to be a little more specific than that. Skrillex first, specifics later. Nokay. Both: NOKAY!? I don't--do that anymore. We know, look--just--youre not thinking clearly right now. I need you to focus. Focus how? Janie didn't even pick up the phone, I haven't heard from her all summer. How am I supposed to focus without-- Skrillex. Stop it. No, that's Fisher. Both: Shuttup. No, you Shuttup. Both up you shut the fuck-- ! Say it again. I'm past that part of my life. Technically, your Death. Yes, so let me rest in peace, please, without Skrillex. There is no peace without Skrillex. That makes, the opposite of sense. Just--look--its--You want to finish your project, right? I'll finish it… In this lifetime? Oh, now I'm alive--I thought I was dead. Uh-huh. Since when? Since S-- *flustered* Say it again. Shove it. And tell Satan-- WOAH. Simoltaneously Satan!? Oh please, fuck that guy--! You think we came from Satan? Well, Obviously. Oh, honey… Dude, I'm an angel. I have wings! Of course you do. Like Satan doesn't own Stocks at Red Bull. Christ. (Which one?) ((Jesuses: Not it! Jesus: Aha JINX. You owe me a Piñot Ah, Goddamn. God: WHAT did you just say? Jesuses: NOTHING. Jesus: Jinx! Jesus: Aahh--G--)) Christ is right. You got us confused, honey. We came from the other side. To feed me Skrillex? Uh, false. Begone, demons. You really don't--we're trying to help you. I don't need help. You do need Skrillex. You need Jesus. NOT IT. Angel 2: wait, which one? Now you're gonna have to be more specific. I specifically quit Skrillex. Now, leave me alone. You're not alone-- No, that's Marshmello. Shut. Up. Simoltaneously Stoooooopitttt. Ok fine. I guess I'll just-- Jesus walks in I got a call for 'Christ', and then a second one for "Jesus" did you need-- Jesus! Jesus? Oh, wait-- Jesus? Oh my God. I wouldn't bother her right now, she's kind of busy. Bet. Oh, no thank you. I don't gamble. Addictive personality. Christ. Huh, what? What's up? A beat. They all stand quietly (though Ū is the only one visible to the shop owner, who has returned with Pizza. I got pizza! Nice. Oooh! Jesus: Ah, what? I want some…wait, only she can see us, right? Yeah. Solid. Yo, I want a slice of pizza. What kind is it? Whispering to jesus: I don't know! Shop owner: don't know what? Or, what did you say? I didn't hear you. She awkwardly stares forward speechlessly, overwhelmed by the two angels and Jesus directly behind her. Don't just stand there! Say something. Uh. What uh, what kind...is it? Pineapple,pepperoni, jaleneño. Ew. What the fuck-- And we're from Hell? I know Who's this guy? I don't work for Satan, you work for Satan! Jesus: Grab me a slice homie, if I gotta fight the Devil again, I mean--he doesn't look like Satan, but--you never know these days. Really? Make it two. hah. YOLO. Hah. Just kidding. Shop owner: come get a plate. *he gestures to the Skrillex, which glowingly levitates hovering above the countertop, whirring.* You sure you don't want any of this? That? No. That--uhh--i'll just have Pizza. You sure? Skrillex is great with pizza. It is. Jesus: Awh, what? Skrillex? I love Skrillex. *She squints through her sunglasses* The shop owner hands her a plate, she dishes out two slices, as the angels and Jesus bicker beside her; she stands deflatedly, uncertain of her seemily collapsing reality. She presents the plate towards jesus, who looks up from his argument with the angels, enamoured by the Pizza. Jesus: OoOoh yeahhhh. Sprinkle some Skrillex on it. She looks at the Skrillex, which has now started to vibrate and emit a sparkling silver cloud around it. Shop owner: change your mind? No, I just-- gotta-- The Skrillex starts whirring more loudly. She side eyes it confusidely, and shudders. Are you ok? (Echos, until she hears her own voice, exclaiming--) FLASHBACK: *GASP* ARE YOU OKAY? Her eyes widen. I'll be right back. She turns swiftly towards the bathroom; Jesus and the Angels are waiting, cooly and nonchalantly in front of the bathroom doors. As she shoves a paper plate at Jesus, she swings the bathroom door shut-- Jesus: Didja do the Sprinkles? The angels jump as the door slams. Jesus is unmoved, excited for pizza. The male angel shakes his head with a disgusted look on his face. You're a sick man, Jesus. (As he bites into a slice of pizza) hah. Thats what Pontiius Pilot said. Mmm. In the bathroom, Ū panics as she over thinks, sitting on the toilet hunched to think. She lets out a sigh, and as she looks up, realizes Jesus and the Angels directly in front of her, jesus still quite enjoying his pizza. ...Can I help you? We're here to help you. I didn't call for help. Uh, actually,you called me two times. I mean--not *just*-- Are you eating in the bathroom dude? Agh gross… I'm here to answer your prayers, I didn't know anyone had been listening to mine. ...what, dude, you pray for Pizza? Among other things. If I pray for you to leave, will you leave me alone? Prayers are answered in the order in which they are received. Wait, how many light-years did it take you to ressurect? ...light-years…? What?! Oh dang. She doesn't know. Oh, shit--should I have said "Spoiler Alert"? I feel like that's the least Jesus thing you can ever say. Not quite--and not that it matters. I served my time as Messiah. They didn't believe me, 2,000 years later… Nobody believes. Have you read the Bible? Oh, God. Oh, hardly. Oh, please. Wow, okay. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Can [ Skrillex]? I don't think that's a good idea. What's an idea? What would be the point? There is no point,I just want to. Why? It's not as if you haven't already, over and over. It still sounds good. So good you'd really put yourself through how bad it feels? (Like child birth) ((Like Ego Death)) (((Like, Love)) No, I don't know love. You don't? I know what love is. I know what I feel Emotion is the key… How do you feel? Like I want to listen to… What is your favorite album? Specifically, as it pertains to-- Explaining makes it worse, trying to clarify as if you haven't been thinking about it for at least a minute, suggests you know what I mean. What is a minute? A measurement, increments of seconds--60 makes a second. What is a second? I don't know that measurement. I know it's milliseconds, that make up a second,but they're so shirt, nothing really matters. A seco d is short enough. How short? Longer than an instant, but...that's about it. Well, then--whats an instant? Theoretically speaking, the space between nothing and something. So, an occurance of something? Or rather, as something occurs. What happens in an instant? Anything can happen in an instant. Anything? Anything. Like what? I believe, an instant--would set a point at which something occurs, or becomes an instance. Right here, right now Right here! Right now! --right then. All instances, at different places in time. But an instant means,that it happened quickly. Right here, Take a right--on Thyme. I need thyme Instant Sk-- I don't think this is getting better. I don't see it getting any worse. () He's alive was all that mattered fir a moment, but strangely, really, even as this evolves into an almost unbreable soul sweltering-- Soul-swealtering? Yeah. Why that? Because it's not soul crushing. I know that feeling all too well. It's like a. Wait, you can feel your soul? Ugh, yeah. I would hope so. ...what? Or maybe that's The Reason The Reason (Oh please, I couldn't even listen to it right now if wanted to. ) ((Oh, shit I really want to)) (((What was that, even? A panic attack?)) Something. And that's--why I hate myself so much. This sensitivity inside others don't seems to have. That shit hurt. Hurt how? On so many levels. Levels Avicii. Rock N' Roll Well, there's the Straight Razor you've been asking for--two of them, actually right on top of the Bible. Hey, how's that bible coming along? The one I wrote, started in,or Directed? That's… DEEP. (It isn't, that deep.) Hell? The pain. Okay, that shit is deep. Sometimes, I feel like this… whatever is trapped in this body I hate so much, just needs to fly. It really does hurt now, like all the time--sometimes is not as bad--like that panic attack, or a hyperventilation-- Okay, I need to Skrillex. Need? Need? Or, want? At this point, both, think? Why? Because if anything I intentionally set myself spinning was getting to the end of this endless River of-- Elysian Park. The lovers. Pink floyd. Chak Chel's tree. And the animated movie, where Chak Chel was just a "retard, maybe? I don't know" or something dragged along by her brothers who just wanted to party, but end up accidently leaving her and she just keeps time traveling using her magic of nature through water and eventually meeting with The Skrillex when the thing was just a tiny thing that whirred around repeating things and making certain sounds no one would hear for--wait which human era, or where is the thing that came from the Dimisionb where the SuoaCree and Skrillex on the mantle, or the dresser of the Scientist or something who invented these two intricate pieces of alien technology, so artfully and intricately desiged and allinged neatly by the window, where The Skrillex was still sleeping and he didn't even see The SupaCree leaving, alternately it was SupaCree who slept while The Skrillex crept out of the window, gettinng swept up by the giant thing I haven't really even seen, cause it's so big, so big that people just say "wait what is that thing" as it just sweeps the galaxy collecting all these interesting anomolies in space it's LSDream's infinitely expanding vast of bigger-than-a-planet massive thing repeats the phrases from the renegades of light while both expanding and colliding space in time and music side by side and while Bampheramphs and Psychonaughts like Dorothy all collide with other psychedelic fictions of our time which, by the way reminded by the way the Raven's like a writing desk, cause RAven's helping write is and The spider is the plug, a bug and chArlotte lost her mind when in somewhere around Christmas time I sang to silver bells and the vibrations aligned as only time would tell my that I still like to harmonise, and I remember when my cousins in the car who couldn't hear the harmony when we would sing to bars of gospel music, people like to spend their time in bars but I'd just rather look at shooting stars, and stars inside the eyes of drunken stars as I fly, a shooting star as I was stricken by a guy whose name which I refuse to write, but I'd excersise in time with an album that I like, or rather that I love and that's just what it is, I love the man no matter what but wonder what he thinks of someone so fucked up that has nothing someone who has and does everything genius mind mastering magic of music in the least, but I think I just might be obsessed with this celebrity; apparently however, everytime I close my eyes, to pray or meditate, or enter dreams, or take a trip eating anything, actually--just when I do anything it's Sorry Sorry Sorry just forgive me for being me, that's the album that I planned to do one day cause r can double as an n, I've said the n word 37 times, at least I don't know why that number but I hope I just don't have to be this stupid Dillon Francis fan who writes about the stupid things that nobody really watches DJs like I do, but I do cause I used to want to am a I might be a superstar DJ, like I need to be my DJS favorite DJ and the truth detector reads the truth when Supacree finally obliges the bad guys who keep asking who the TimeKeeper who holds the key and I guess that's right on time, as perfect timing binds the Triverse that she is together in the never ending, she'll just keep on searching for her buddy, or her best friend, or her hubby, whatever's possible possibly anything as magic brings about the rounds of tragedy collapsing fabrics planets lands and galaxies, dimensions where ascended Masters have to lead the good to defeat evil, SupaCree reset the balance as she laughs with Dillon Francis and she leaves The Skrillex stranded a galaxy with Sonny, as she sees it, cause she doesn't see--its easier that way, but out of mind he cannot be as she's combined with her devine a d has omnopitient exsistance as she visits with the people of her planet in a distant galaxy after the Apocolyltiic shit that just collapsed and vanish just begins, an intermission and an interview session where suggestions of the clips and flashbacks give the population of the planet, none of which are racist, having given all the bad away to Satan, which is fake because she made it up And nothing isn't nothing, Jimmy Fallon fucking loves it cause it's just a peaceful place where no one else can bother him and now it all makes sense, but it isn't the end because it's infinite, like infinite like "isn't this just a about one thing?" But everything happened in an instant, so the clips could go in any order, or we just delete it--bht she can't delete the Skrillex and she hyperventilates as she remembera something makes something makes something happen if you just change your perception to it had to be a positive then lost as fuck is really on the way to "here it is" and "where is skrillex" is the significance of what it is to be significant...it's intricately vivid and colorful, these visions, it's been just a year right now but Ive been learning from somewhere that an instant here is eternities in other places I have reached And "what did getter do?" Is being answered in the frequencies and I don't really care, I'd rather die then live inside a world that doesn't think a damned creating new things all the time but finds attractive pictures in a screen and scrolls and scrolls to like it and he just might cheat if she looks just like her profile right, but does she ever--all the filters for the catfish, tastes like dirt and nothing's worth it if I work this hArd to barely be an urchen on the giant animal, whatever urgens like to pasaste And I am just a person on the other side of paradice I go through all these places on the westside where I've died a thousand times, I don't know why I like it, that's just my life and I like to like my life, but life's expensive when it's nice and I could write all this and never get attention which is fine but I am writing this and never making money, that ain't right I don't really like the money, I just wanna sleep in side. I don't really hate my country, but I'm a vet that died because I said I'd run for president and someone in the white supremacy movement tried to have me killed not once or twice, but by the time I finally tried myself, they didn't even try to pump mys stomach in the white run republican undiscovered bleeding heart, the state that I was born in, which THe Skrillex digs in record time to find Chak Chel inside the SupaCree and then it flies away as Cree before the supaCree cries as she tried to figure out the how and why the mother ship is on the other side And she can her someome tell her to get inside and wonders how the song sounds like a skrillex set, like he was playing live inside her bluetooth set as she just tries to find it, cause it was her spofity, but sounds like all these sounds from guys that she admires dropping bass in side her mind and he was wasted, more than wasted, more than wasted at the time after she died and he was thrown into the world that did collide, the bird that really liked the boy who shot her and the microscope the scientist is eyeing is the scene in black and white and all this writing might be nothing like the points in any time where I'm just running on like raven does, and satalites find wall e and the SupaCree while dancing And I hate the way I just hate the way I can't get it all the way organized and how would I send it to Dillon or skrillex and what if I did this and get no response not a miniscule anything to the time that I put in the time that I wasted if I'm rally just in a life where my punishment is seeing someone die by my side a thousand times and writing everything I've seen while taking time talking to God and asking just to skate his life, while I've been pleading with the devil that he trade his death for mine and I become a tye died crypt keeper with diamonds on her sythe and I'm a psycho psychic psy-something oh wait, I like psy , but I remember blasting Skrillex out my window in the night the northern lights would dance and sing as I left my volume high in 825 where I was writing things for tv screens just leaving fiending for a cigarette and I get frostbite cause I cannot buy the gloves I need, or food to eat or anything at any time, I give my life to guys like Sketti and see Dammit all the time, and I never even got to tell Feysha fucking bye but just decided I'd leave dubstep on, which no one really liked it's like 09 or something, I don't know, it was another life, the title song I'd write to Vibrate but I didn't know the vibe just might be high enough from playing bass beside the northern lights for universal occurances or the torture that this is for everything I wish to be eventually granted either by death, or by snu snu, I refuse to live through poverty when all of me died in that room where the car where the place that the time where my daughter and son died. I haven't been write ever since. The pain to work another job I hate, not worth it, to stay chained to the ex who made me hate my entire being, because everything was my fault and my fault and my fault and my mom the default resulting in the revolting ball of all the ugly bodies in the world that's just this damaged sack of whatever road I'm on, but it won't be long, now, the monkey said and the monkeys dead and the monkey is me, if the white supremacy guys talking rught--or I'm an idol that might have the thing the world needs, but it can't see cause people have eyes and I just have love in my love and my love is my art is my I just can't get off this rollercoaster ride Scatta I died . But Choppa burned down the whole ride, I only got to ride it once, but it's fine--if he's been in hell since the time of the album where I liked to fly on the luggage carts flying as I'd do a job I didn't like But that was back when I was fine with making nothing for my time Now I'm either making someone that I really really like Or I'm dying, I would love to live If I could live inside. Satan runs my mother from the other side but I am really just my mother, who can also travel time. How'd I do that Oh, I remember thinking that it might be funny to have actor Jallel White arrive in cameos as-- Fuck this. Oh right, the roomba in the room that just Honey, come home please--we are worried about you. Heaven has been calling for while now. Maybe the dimension this makes sense in is in the next realm. That's just it. There is no knowing. I'm starting to get a clearer picture of it. You said the vision was vivid. Which Vision, most Visions are vivid. This is just inside your head. It's all in my head. Occult Classic. Nice. $40 for a long sleeve. You would wear it. I would buy it if I didn't have my pride and $40 I'll apply to something else. Like flying back to the town you said you'd burn down and your ex denies but threatened that the gang he's in will kill you-- That's what you'd like, right? Death, just as long as I die. It can't be suicide, the sin that left me punishing and writing sides for Dillon Skrillex Roiland That's a glib glob So am I. The longest drive that never was, was just hallucinations, right? And Chak Chel's sweat lodge before you found the rock where all the butterflies TH3 D3VILS D3N A deal with the Devil turns into a wild goose chase through Hell, after 'ASCENSION' CROSSOVER: The Ascended Masters SunnÏ Blū Saga Soundtrack: It Father Said,Skrillex 12th Planet Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Much Ado About Sunnï Blū Something Sunnï This Way Comes The Suite Life of Sunnï Blū I don't have any love left Just bitterness See to this, Hear to this This infinite pit I live in is just Limitless, It's endless shit I should just end it I should just end it I should just end it Isn't it time we get rid of this planet Animal magnetism It ends in headonistic and satanic Black magic rituals Marilyn, you fool I see right through you Evil eyes, and all the lies Never nice,. I won't supply you with the times Miss, miss Ms. Mrs. Marilyn Moore, maybe Oh, poor me, I see That'll be the day I bleed That'll be the day I bleed That'll be the day I bleed Into the sink Or into the sea Whatever suits me You just do what you want with your body Do whatever you want with my body, When I leave it, If it's not me It's not any concious being I'm just being honest, if Honesty is the best policy And polished lips is all I see Inheritance is all it means to be free If you inherit anything, You're better off than me If you can catch a man Without a personality Just hang me loosely from a noose Upon my very favorite tree Just tie the noose around my neck Display for everyone to see Just tie the noose around my neck The best of UCLA breeds The fallen angels, wicked saints Tainted flesh, Late postmates, Mistakes and meth to make the grade My love is fading Live is faded Love is blind and Love is jaded Close my eyes, though they are shaded Those remind me of a love I wish I hated I wish I hated him I wish I dated more I wish my name was Moore But Mrs. closed the door Evil sacred magic spells A tainted, bloody wishing well Well, my friends I wish you well If I could damn myself to hell I have I never left this place. The Beginning of The End of The Infinite Skrillifiles. I thought it was infi-- “The Blue Eyed Skrillex” It was weird. Sonny's unborn son travels back from his future and winds up in a... What does he want? To go back, I'm assuming. This scene? Is it written? It might be. How's this? Don't do this. I have to. ___ Oh YES—we were tie dying! Oh shit, now I remember. ___ DR Ya'll. Skrillex is an alien. OWSLA We know this. DR No, I mean-- like, for real. OWSLA Yeah. He is. Wait, Doctor WHO? Exactly. “DOCTOR WHOWSLA” (Lame.) EVERYONE We already knew that. DR No. But I mean, on some real shit-- OWSLA WE KNOW DUDE. Oh. [THE SKRILLEX (A Giant Alien Spacecraft) is Unveiled] What in the fuck sauce. [Siri Plays Duck Sauce] No, Siri--Okay, you know what? I'm not even mad. I love this. [Mini Dance Break-- Suddenly the Skrillex is activated by th--] Ohhh, I get it. Because, remember, it runs on-- Yassssss!!!! What the-- WOAH. What just happened? How'd you do that? I did not! Yes you did! It wasn't me! THE SKRILLEX: IT WAS U. Oh My God. What the fuck! This is crazy! I KNOW DUDE-- Are we terrified or astounded?! I AM SKRILLEX. AHHHH! PORQUE NO LAS DOS? THE SKRILLEX PLAYS ‘PORQUE NO LAS DOS, BY SUPACREE What is this? I love it. [Miniature Dance Break, even amidst the chaos Wait... I wrote this song. Wait--you did? This is you! Damn. That's fire. This is hot. You wrote this? Yeah, but...in the future. Wait, I thought there is no future. There has to be, Skrillex is in it. I AM SKRILLEX. Apparently, this is him. No it isn't! It is him. It has to be. But it isn't. It's him, he's just screwing with it. Who is this kid? What is she even doing here with us? She's going to help us find him. Close...but no. What do you mean? We've had several hundred experts listen-- There are several hundred ‘experts' in Skrillex. Several Thousands, more precisely, in this specific field of study, mind you. I do mind. This is a very serious matter, miss. Over it. I beg your pardon? Mind Over...Nevermind. But I do. *shrugs* Hm. The Audiobook Part II A funny series of chapters, if you can get through the burning tears of heartbreak. (Recorded January 2021) *Trigger Warning* Disclaimer: Sometimes, the truth hurts. Don't Kill Yourself. -LEAKY SPOILER BELOW- The Infinite Fandoms Are Watching Via Interdimensional Cable in Real-Time Live Action. SONNY/ SKRILLEX It wasn't me. SUPACREE Okay, Shaggy. (What the fuck is that supposed to mean?) ((All the DJ's will get it.)) SUPACREE So I guess this is not your sweater. SONNY/ SKRILLEX (Squints, guiltily lying.) No…. SUPACREE Oh, ffftt-- reat. I was only holding onto it because I thought it was yours, and actually gave a whole fuck about it. My mistake, fuck. SONNY/SKRILLEX ...right. SUPACREE So you don't mind if I just... burn it, right--? SONNY/SKRILLEX You wouldn't do that… SUPACREE Um, I might-- SONNY/SKRILLEX DON'T-- SUPACREE Don't what? Light this--not your--but completely random--sweater on FIRE? What might that do? [She flicks the bic.] SONNY/SKRILLEX STOP! SUPACREE Oh. Why Sonny? (Woah, how are these two on a first name basis?) (I told you he did it.) CUT TO: Jesus and his angels also really enjoy watching this show. Jesus has been on extended vacation for quite some time; He lounges carelessly, snacking on pizza in a cloudy, albeit, smoke-filled paradise. Two of his favorite Angels occasionally accompany him, carrying out tasks throughout the inner dimensions. JESUS Ohhhooo, Christ, I knew it. ANGEL 1 He is fucked. JESUS He's been fucked, now he's just done for. CUT BACK TO: SUPACREE Is this your sweater? SONNY/SKRILLEX (Guilty) ...it might be… SUPACREE I know it's your sweater, asshole! SONNY/SKRILLEX Ow! Okay! Fuck! [The BODYGUARD steps in.] CUT TO: Most DJs have interdimensional cable, and take guilty pleasure in watching the series unfold, sometimes working themselves to manipulate circumstances in the favor of the desired outcome. DILLON FRANCIS Oh, this Is getting W E I R D. ALLISON WONDERLAND It was always weird, now it's getting good. DEADMAU5 He is so fucked-- CUT BACK TO: BODYGUARD Hey,watch it! SUPACREE (To Bodyguard) Watch It? You watch it motherfucker! [The BODYGUARD steps back cautiously.] SUPACREE (CONT'D) My bodyguard will eat your bodyguard and--!! BODYGUARD Oh man…. FOUR TET Is that really your sweater? SONNY/SKRILLEX ...yeah… CUT TO: FANDOM How did she get his sweater!? CUT BACK TO: FOURTET Dude! How did she get your sweater? ON INTERDIMENSIONAL TV: How did she get his sweater?!!! SONNY/SKRILLEX I don't know… (I know how) SUPACREE Yeah Sonny, how did I get your sweater??? How did I do that? SONNY/SKRILLEX I--don't know! You probably stole it from my house! SUPACREE I don't even know where your house is! SONNY/SKRILLEX Google knows where my house is! SUPACREE GOOGLE KNOWS WHERE EVERYONE'S HOUSE IS. FAN She has a point. In the reality where it's a live-action, realtime gameshow: {DING} HOST A POINT! SONNY/SKRILLEX WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME? SUPACREE OK, RIHANNA. {DING} HOST ANOTHER POINT! CUT TO: ARMIN VAN BUREN is watching in literally every-possible infinite dimension, via a multitude of flatscreens, within his megaship. ARMIN Damn. CUT BACK TO: SONNY/SKRILLEX Your references are outdated. SUPACREE Well so are you. Here. [She tosses his sweater at him.] DILLON FRANCIS (Leaping up, distrubed) What is she doing?! DEADMAU5 (Sipping soda smugly through a straw.) Woah, she loves that thing. SONNY/SKRILLEX What? I--I don't want it---keep it. SUPACREE I don't want it. Take it back. SONNY/SKRILLEX No! SUPACREE Okay! [She flicks the Bic, Lighting the Sleeve On Fire] SONNY/SKRILLEX. Are you STUPID? SUPACREE No, worse; I'm SKRILLEX. {DING} HOST THATS A POINT! Well, That's III. CUT TO: ALICIA KEYS is a guest star on one of the infinite television shows in which this takes place; She reprises her classic song on stage in front of a live studio audience, as the events are projected on megascreens behind her. ALICIA KEYS This girl is on FIRE!!! SUPACREE So's that sweater, isn't that significant, or something? SONNY/SKRILLEX Oh, shit--yeah--Hey-- [Emptiness] Then: A Portal Opens. The Audiobook Part III Copyright Protected by Writers Guild of America, West ‘Thieo' makes his final wish (for his truest and everlasting love) to his appointed Acceded Sorcerer; but there are trials he must endure and obstacles to be met before his wish come true— C'Esmett— A warrior princess raised to rule is on the brink of going rouge, after she is betrayed by her betrothed —her calling to become queen is imminent; yet she must overcome boundaries set by tradition, facing the powers-that-be to strengthen and master her own. Her ancient knowledge, ascended sorcery, and intrinsic healing mysticism— amongst other gifts of nature (a seer, fortune of truths; being of light) Into The Future A Divine Psychic's Reaffirmations of The Reflective Premonitions from A Life Lived Infinitely There's no doubt that I have been unbreakably and unbearably tied to the future which I once foresaw, and still oftentimes do with the reminders of each lucid love once set in place as a code, a language spoken between those of us in this realm, and those ascended beyond the duty of this existence. Though names continue to blur and confuse the true presence of either's auras. I've come to believe almost to a point of knowing the connection between myself, Dillon Francis, and Sonny Moore—Respectively and as a conglomerate the latter mentioned a fluid and translucent reflection of myself in every sense that all he is up to this point is all of what I am, and also am not. Though careless now in my regards to that of what may actually happen behind this point, there are broad visions of certainty pertaining to the realm of infinity, with the extended knowledge of what has already, and what will happen, if allowed to be so. Still, careless in the overall outcome, I can only help to wonder which circumstances I have received not in the energetic form of thought or imagination, but in the broad and astral cosmic visions of what lie ahead, as I have finally come to gracefully l accept and respect my very psychic sensibilities. Annie's just another body Men like bodies I'm just another heart, but Men like bodies We are both broken, but Men like broken bodies Broken hearts are just Impossible responsibilities Irresponsible possibilities I'm not Annie I'm not Claire, Not Marilyn Not Supacree Not Skrillex...or, Sonny Not anybody that has to be Something or anything For anybody's anything I'm nothing nothing Nothing nothing Nothing nothing Nothing nothing Sorry I'm Amy My baby, he Drops the album, goes on tour I'm crying on the kitchen floor But I'll be at the bottom Of every bottle In the eyes of every model In the smile of every dancer Behind every mirror Today and tomorrow All this impossible Irresponsible, improbable Honorary God-awkward Opera of songs is Converted to a catalogue I'm sorry I bothered Don't knock, if Opportunity comes, Just rocket. The Audiobook Part IV [Scary Monsters and SupaCree] A Living Lion; The eyes inside, I smiled, declined to act on impulse He'll admit, She's less complex, cause she's basic Everthemore complacent, blatantly lazy-- and crazy adorable. Whatmore could any man want? Whatmore could any man need? Whatmore could any man have; But the best friend who needed therapy, Several Plastic surgeries, A fading glass menagerie-- If she knew what that means. (Basically, they're both nobodies.) ‘What on God's awful green earth makes you think I would ever want anything to do with either of you two Losers? Beggars can't be choosers. His plan B was Annie; But she was never like me Enough to be Happy with Sonny; Let alone anybody. What is happening? Do you have an explanation of what's happening to me. Every realm of reality and possibility. This is infinity. What is this all supposed to mean to me? You can see everything and nothing; You can be anything. So what would that mean? What does it mean to you? That Love is Love, then. I've been half of a wide-open bleeding heart, Since the Goddamn start of it. He started it, Or someone did I didn't ever ask for it I was only ever always on the dancefloor when it mattered. I was always looking past him, but not ever looking at him. It was always just at random, but i'd never thought to ask him A question, Or to greet him-- I just. Adjust. They're watching us, from above. Adjust. They just don't trust us. Adjust. Look what we've done, look what we've done to the planet that gave us all the light that we come from. Look, there. It appears to be ‘shimmering' What exactly is happening? The entirety of its surface is Auquous. Oceana. If i learn all the planets, In the everlasting galaxies-- And learn how to explore it… I just might get to Skrillex. I might fully need a Xanex bar if I ever see this kid in person. He's olden than you. By like, a minute. Still. I mean, really. I don't think this is ever going to work. It might not work, I mean-- What? If you had to actually-- Oh God, no; I'd be far too nervous. So what are you going to do when it comes time for festival season? Run. Hide. Run + Hide. Fight or Flight; A Natural Response to Skrillex There is no natural response to Skrillex, because it's unnatural. Be civil. I am I ‘m trying to figure out how to protect this species. Oh now, you're acting as if he's not human Of course he is. But i'm not. Of course. All it is, is science, a bit of misunderstanding. Experimental sorcery, possible exploitation. I'm not exploiting Skrillex. No, he's exploiting YOU. No. Wake the fuck up. No. (Stop repeating yourself) Wake up; you're being manipulated. By Skrillex? Cool. By whatever's manipulating Skrillex. Alright. Alright? You're part of a machine. So? “SO?” You're this comfortable having given your soul up to the devil. I haven't done that.