SIXTEEN

Hello? Anyone out there? Just wanted to K-pop on by, and update y'all on the wild wonderful world of Seventeen! From the app game we've sunk our lives into, to the musical that killed Richard on air, to some new baby idols, we cover it all.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN! SuperStar Pledis is officially open, and we have all the L337 strats you need to get your favorite boys! We also have a butt-ton of news to discuss, and Kelly shares her reactions to the You Made My Dawn albums.

Will you look at the time? The sun's already rising! Dawn is FINALLY HERE! Join Richard and Kelly as they dive into the new Seventeen album and find out how Good To Us it is. But first, we go through some in depth news. So sit tight, Get Closer, and listen up! (SHHHH)

MAMAAAAAA!!! UWUUUUU!!! 2018. Thats right folks, your favorite professional reporters in the field talk about all the highlights from MAMA 2018. And then we get a bit closer by experiencing the horror of Kelly's pleasured screams as she watches Seventeen's Getting Closer choreo for the first time. It truly is the Month of Jun.

Happy Anniversary Kelly and Seventeen! I can't believe it's been a whole year. Let's celebrate by not talking about the boys! Instead, Richard tries to pull Kelly deeper into K-Pop hell by showing her different groups. Guest star Hamlet the Kitten causes mayhem.

Oops.

Welp, totally forgot to mention that this was our 17th episode. That's the real horror here. INSTEAD, we do some in-depth CSI comparisons of our boys' Halloween costumes from 2015 to 2018! We find that the only scary thing in this episode is how good Jun looks.

This week on everyone's favorite Wawa podcast, Richard and Kelly strum up a voracious appetite thinking about hoagies. An appetite only a DINOsaur could have. That's right folks! We're talking about our baby Dino and all the talent jam packed into his mighty thicc legs.

Thanks for ordering your very own personal Vernon! Please follow the audio guide attached to your starter kit to learn how to care for your Vernon and make him smile bright and happy. With our intel, you'll be stanning him for weeks on end!

BOO! Ha! Did I scare you? You werent expecting to be scared in september huh? Well you're in luck, because they're is nothing scary about Boo Seungkwan other than acknowledging you'll never be remotely as talented as this handsome powerhouse singer. Join us as we gush about our very special Jeju boy.

We don't really know what this is. Enjoy.

After several years, Sixteen has returned, to close off the summer with some sweet Summer Tunes. We review the beautiful album You Make My Day, which made our days. But before all that we have to catch up on two months worth of Very Nice News.

Everyone knows that One is the loneliest number but do you know who The8 is? Well you’re about to find out! This week Richard and Kelly (mostly Kelly) wax poetically about our favorite sophisticated chinese boy and all his many facets, from cute fairy to thughao to mature younger (older) brother.

This week on SIXTEEN, Richard and Kelly are suffering in the summer heat. They’re super thirsty. Luckily, we got ourselves a tall drink of water this episode, in the form of resident House Husband Kim Mingyu. Join us as we revel in tales of our nasty klutsy puppy and how much we love his beautiful face. Oh and of course, wish a happy birthday to our two princes Jun & Hoshi

In 1994, Donkey Kong Country became the bestselling Nintendo game not bundled with the console. In 1997, DK was born, and since then he’s been infecting all our lives with laughter and joy. Join us as we stan our loudest singer and one of Richard’s greatest loves.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Is that a Call (Call Call)? Who’s on the phone? It’s a doctor, worried about your recent dizzy spells. Feelin’ Woozi? Well join the party! This week Richard and Kelly are stanning Woozi, our hard working seventeen member who hates how cute he is.

Who are Richard and Kelly stanning this week? Wonwoo thats who! Join us as we gush about Seventeen’s resident bad boy, who’s more fluffy than the pile of kittens he so desperately wants to pet. Listen in as we fall in love with nose scrunches and deadpan eyes and regret the weeks we spent not loving this won(woo)derful boy.

What time is it? Well, it depends on where you live and when you read this. Time is merely a construct of human perception. But once you hit play it’s permanently 10:10! That’s right, today we’re stanning Seventeen’s Prince, Hoshi himself. Join us as we celebrate the master choreographer himself and all the mischief surrounding him.

It’s finally April, so why are we stuck talking about June? Haha, did you enjoy my clever joke there? Today we celebrate our resident King of China, Jun! Join us as Kelly rambles for hours about her one true stan and Richard has to sit there in silence and tolerate it.

Dear Joshua, if you’re reading this. First of all, wow, thanks. Second of all, please contact us and we can get you good anime recs because you deserve better. I’m just JOSHIN’. Anyway, fellow carats, this week we’re stanning our L.A. boy Joshua if it weren’t obvious enough! So grab a nice warm cup of tea and enjoy our rambles on this Tuesday Morning Rain is Falling.

We’ve struck the motherlode this week folks! We’re talking all about Jeonghan, the mom of Seventeen. We tell the tale of a man who’ll do anything to win, and who will eventually assimilate us all into his ever-growing cult. We also give some updates on the boys’ Japan tour, which we are totally definitely not jealous about.

Carats! Its time we get to know our Leader. This episode is dedicated the one, the only, S.Coups. We go over the basics, fun facts and where to see this Strong Boy absolutely shine! And for you veteran carats, we celebrate some important wins our boys had these past two weeks.

Extra bonus episode! I mean, how could we not, the Seventeen Special Album “Director’s Cut” just got released on Monday?? We live react to the four new songs on this repackage and talk about how everyone seemed to just somehow become better singers in a few short months. When all is said and done, all we can say to our boys is: Thanks.

Welcome to Episode One of the Screaming Room (aka Sixteen)! A show where we try to help new and old Carats alike piece their lives back together, but mostly just end up weeping instead. In this first session, we introduce our 13 sons to our listeners. We host a little crash course on Kpop culture and terminology. We hope you’re as excited as we are for this wild ride!