Podcasts about shhhh

"Cash strapped" might be the most heard phrase in the cannabis industry right now.So… where's the cash?Without disciplined forecasting and visibility into true costs, growth is meaningless. Most companies aren't failing from bad ideas — they're failing in execution. That's where cash leaks into missed forecasts, bloated inventory, and lost opportunity.Cash flow isn't a quarterly metric — it has to be a daily focus.The ones with visibility are growing profitably and setting themselves up to survive now and thrive later.This week we sit down with Tyler Nielsen to discuss:• Closing the Execution Gap and unlocking hidden cash• How to identify leaks and improve visibility across the business• Connecting the front of the house to the back for real-time decision makingChapters00:00 Introduction to Vast Insights Partners01:23 Tyler's Journey into the Cannabis Industry02:39 Defining Growth vs. Profitability05:14 Executive Alignment and Operational Execution07:10 Integration Process for Cannabis Businesses09:23 Granularity of Data and Internal Audits12:19 Coaching vs. Hands-On Execution15:27 Building Trust and Transparency18:43 Common Inventory Challenges in Cannabis21:03 Proactive Inventory Management Strategies29:08 Navigating KPIs in a Complex Supply Chain32:40 The Importance of Integrated Business Planning34:25 Cash Flow: The Lifeblood of Business37:28 Visibility Tools: Bridging the Execution Gap40:25 Understanding the Value of Engagement43:14 Coaching and Leadership in Operational Change47:28 Identifying Common Operational Issues50:33 Tailoring Solutions for Smaller OrganizationsGuest Links https://www.linkedin.com/company/vast-insight-partners/https://www.linkedin.com/in/tylernielsen/https://www.vastinsightpartners.com/Our LinksOur Links Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime is a top 10 Cannabis Podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.Sign up for our playbook here:

Florida and New York are massive markets — but they're still early. Everyone's fighting for attention, trust, and long-term positioning.So how did The Flowery rise to the top and become the go-to partner for the industry's premier brands?710 Labs. Wizard Trees. Preferred Gardens. Doja Pak the list goes on.These brands are some of the most sought-after names in the entire cannabis industry.They drive traffic into the store, signal trust with customers, and are built on quality and brand recognition.This week we sit down with Ilya Shmidt, of The Flowery, to uncover how his team became the trusted home for the most influential names in cannabis — and how they're scaling that same trust across Florida and New York.In this episode, we dive into:How The Flowery earned partnerships with the industry's top-tier brandsThe systems behind scaling quality and consistency at retailWhy New York's market share shifted fast — and what's next in FloridaChapters00:00 Introduction to Flowery and Ilya Schmidt01:07 Ilya's Journey into the Cannabis Industry02:41 Building Brand Partnerships in Cannabis05:07 The Vetting Process for Brand Collaborations06:01 Vertical Integration in Cannabis Production10:30 Collaboration and Knowledge Sharing Among Brands12:51 Creating Unique Cultivars and Market Disruption13:06 Learning from Other Industries14:59 Balancing Brand Visibility and Shelf Space18:05 Expanding into New Markets like New York22:54 Navigating the Cannabis Market in New York29:42 The Importance of Education in Cannabis35:00 Emerging Brands and Market Trends39:01 Lessons Learned in the Cannabis Industry00:00 Introduction to Flowery and Ilya Schmidt01:07 Ilya's Journey into the Cannabis Industry02:41 Building Brand Partnerships in Cannabis05:07 The Vetting Process for Brand Collaborations06:01 Vertical Integration in Cannabis Production10:30 Collaboration and Knowledge Sharing Among Brands12:51 Creating Unique Cultivars and Market Disruption13:06 Learning from Other Industries14:59 Balancing Brand Visibility and Shelf Space18:05 Expanding into New Markets like New York22:54 Navigating the Cannabis Market in New York29:42 The Importance of Education in Cannabis35:00 Emerging Brands and Market Trends39:01 Lessons Learned in the Cannabis IndustryGuest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/in/ilyashmidt/https://theflowery.co/https://www.instagram.com/floweryflorida/https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-floweryco?trk=public_profile_topcard-current-companyhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEhtokhIFa7UFWeSQqtR3XgOur LinksBryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Big Tobacco knows cigarettes are dead.They're sitting on cash, looking for growth — and cannabis is the obvious move.They're no longer silently watching from the sidelines. They're investing, expanding — some through public acquisitions, others through quieter plays. But one thing is clear: it's no secret anymore. Big Tobacco is here, leveraging its resources to capture market share quickly, while cannabis companies continue to struggle.And on the other side of the coin? The global unlock continues.With U.S. operators mostly stuck within national borders, Canadian companies are finally getting the green light to activate dormant facilities and feed growing EU demand. Companies like Curaleaf are thriving in the international arena — and it's just getting started.This week, we sit down with global cannabis strategist Deepak Anand to break down:Tobacco's positioning — and what they're likely eyeing nextWhich U.S. companies Deepak expects to head overseasWhich international markets are heating up nextChapters00:00 Introduction to the Cannabis Landscape03:05 Deepak's Journey into Cannabis Consulting06:11 Understanding CPG Companies' Entry into Cannabis08:58 Market Dynamics and Regulatory Challenges11:48 Consolidation Trends in the Cannabis Industry15:09 The Booming German Cannabis Market18:06 International Expansion and MSO Strategies21:02 Future Outlook for Cannabis Companies26:23 Emerging Opportunities in the Australian Cannabis Market29:12 Navigating Regulatory Challenges in International Markets30:51 The Evolving Landscape of Recreational Cannabis34:05 Strategic Moves by Tobacco Companies in Cannabis36:35 Crafting Tailored Strategies for Cannabis Clients40:00 International Perspectives on U.S. Cannabis Policies42:26 Insights from the GCRS Event in Washington, DCGuest Links:https://x.com/_deepakanandhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/ananddeepaks/About Deepak Anand Advisory Board Member at CB Company, MJBiz, Lift Events & Experiences, ASTM International, Cannabinoid Research & Development Global (CRDG) Network; Cannabis Industry Management Advisor at ASDA Consultancy Services; Vice Chairman Of The Board at Medical Cannabis Canada; Strategic Advisor at CanMar; Adjunct Instructor at Osgoode Professional DevelopmentOur Links Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Wouter Hardy (Arcade)- 3:36, NYLAN (The Code, Shhhh) - 23:46, Benji Alasu (The Code, Survivor) - 41:43       This week, we're talking to the songwriters behind two Eurovision winning hits. First we sit down with Wouter Hardy, who co-wrote Duncan Laurence's Arcade - the first Eurovision song in nearly a quarter century to chart on the Billboard Hot 100. Then we turn to two writers, NYLAN and Benji Alasu who, along with Linda Dale and Nemo themselves, wrote last year's Eurovision winner, Nemo's The Code. These writers give us a window into their unique processes and help us further explore the diversity of ways in which Eurovision songs get written - and how that diversity in process affects the song you end up with in the end.       Featured Songs:     Duncan Laurence, Arcade - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eztx7Wr8PtE     Duncan Laurence, Stars - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1Zv_xZiaok       Gjons Tears, Tout L'Univers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpM6o6UiBIw       Nemo, The Code - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiGDvM14Kwg       Theo Evans, Shh - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbfQqWyqgJw       Elsie Bay, 100 Years - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UbFfO_Uy80       Parg, Survivor - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfH5o3XtI2c       Milune, Torn - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwBN-17HXGE       Remo Forrer, Not Okay - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXZM-DH5Zb4

Specialization is coming — and surviving will mean doing one thing better than anyone else.But that's only the beginning. Getting there takes a relentless growth mindset: an obsession with stacking small operational wins — data, tech, genetics, process — to create massive separation over time.Extraction isn't simple. And in a world of margin compression, “this is how we've always done it” won't cut it.Micah shares how applying best-in-class manufacturing principles has helped LEEF reach elite levels of efficiency — and how just a 1–2% gain in yield can unlock millions in  value. He also shares how they're continuing to push the envelope to stay ahead.This week we sit down with Micah Anderson to discuss:What it takes to earn trust from the world's biggest brandsWhy world-class manufacturing technologies is massive edgeExpansion plans in NY and what's next for “the farm”Chapters00:00 Introduction to Micah Anderson and Leaf Brands02:49 Journey into the Cannabis Industry05:51 The Focus on Extraction09:02 Challenges and Lessons Learned11:49 Data-Driven Decision Making14:52 Procurement and Supply Chain Dynamics18:03 Extraction Modalities and Client Collaboration20:58 Investment in Cultivation and Expansion Plans24:11 Strategic Moves into New Markets27:13 Navigating Market Challenges and Future Outlook36:35 Navigating New Markets: The New York Strategy41:13 Operational Challenges: Training and Culture in Expansion44:44 Bitcoin: A New Asset Class for Cannabis Companies52:40 Understanding Monetary Policy: Recommended Reads57:36 Fixing the California Cannabis Market: Tax Reforms About LEEF Brands: LEEF Brands' vision is to become the largest vertically integrated extraction company in the world. Follow our journey here. CSE: $LEEF OTC: $LEEEFGuest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/company/leef-brands-inc/https://x.com/micah_A_leefhttps://leefbrands.com/https://x.com/LeefBrandshttps://www.instagram.com/leefbrands/https://www.youtube.com/@LEEF_Brandshttps://www.linkedin.com/company/leef-brands-inc/Our Links Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

[A beautiful dog enters the palace; C'esme't is pleased—actually, more thrilled.] Now! (Yo!) [The Dog sits at the entrance.] Call to me. [he speaks from the mind (telepathically) with a familiar tonal voice] Come, sweet stranger! [The Dog approaches] For it is I, the King who walks as not a ghost For yet the call has spoken that I be your loyal shadow (it's me; the King. I've been called to watch over you) Then? (Elaborate.) For now I came as waked dost I as ghost and wandered, pity and pardoned by no army dared Aghast my throne And agape my eyes, Wide my mouth and nostrils, Disemboweled and yet, I did wake with my fortune And tidings in my kingdom, a hidden realm, For there slayed, as I wept, The others dared to swallow, This truth, I, as knight and pawn doth slay the Queen, For titled King no friend of mine; And now, this beast as blood dost froth, My mind does waste, but here I bark Fortunate! To be laid by as you, I will. Then, creature, as you may! For free, this I, And coming not the time I shall l awaken, And then, though, Does the true challenge to bear, The altar; the stone, the shield and the rope From which I pull, and thee shall fight. Marriage of souls. To fancy this beast, betrayeth not. For something barks as is an end As a man does call a lover friend And so lover-friend I am and shall be. Lol what the fuck. So he's a dog now. ‍♀️ wtf is going on in this show. Idk. I'm baked. Enter The Multiverse L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny ‍♂️ Ascension: Enter the Multiverse The titles switched. Good idea. So maybe I should stick with t mobile? Idk. Mint mobile is 15 dollars a month for unlimited talk and text. HERE AND NOW I DECREE, THIS FEAST DOES NOURISH ALL OUR MINDS AND HEARTS TO FIGHT THE GOOD WAR AGAINST ALL HE WHO SQUANDER THE MERCY OF PEACE! TO COURAGE! lol you lost me. I'm grasping at strings here. I needs a means to an end I need a body bag, body bag I need a King and a dog And a cat and an owl And a mark and a dawn And a knife and a gun Call it what you want I was not at the rock But that's where I was going I'm lost in Omaha I was just on the dark With the dark and the walkers The king and the rabbit The facts and the stalkers But who sunk the boat? Who sunk the boat Now this is encouragement! Acknowledgements? Nothing yet. Disaster strikes obvious and No regrets But obvious I'm in it for the long run And it transpired for the job done But the waffles came out awful And crispier than I wanted Almost every time So I took the iron back to target And I know I came out with a double album in August But I got no promotions So I won't walk the carpet So I won't walk the carpet I know I know I'm no Joan Rivers Or Joan of ark so I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip Now, more followers Show boat, Throw him overboard into a rowboat With no paddles And horseshoes on em— That outta show ‘em Rondevouz Rob us all Noah's Ark Don't get so lost in the story Lost in the sory Lost in the LORNE MICHAELS …you caused this. [In a secret lab inside of 30 Rock, A group of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni are trapped inside a metal box; this room has no doors and no windows and seems to be amplifying thought frequencies each of them hears uniquely, but distinctly, and very, very loudly. This is due to the irrefutable fact that they are all gifted telepaths, due to having served time often looking into the lenses of live broadcast cameras. it is theorized that, because of this anomaly— a strange and untraceable signal seeming to intercept all of Rockefeller Plaza's Radio antennae transmissions, it may be an unknown extraterrestrial force attempting to comminicste with 30 Rock from space. On this day, they've been gathered and trapped here in an emergency focus group to attempt to remedy the problem. Haha. MAKE IT STOP. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THST, WHYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHY!!! Craters full of lullabies and dictionary definitions; Tense intimate interactions, and now, this hypertension. I have a secret, a dirty little secret. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! Hmm..okay–vouch. I'm telling you–wait– vouch? Yeah, I vouch. You're vouching me? I'm vouching you. She's vouching me. She vouched you. So i'm good? You're good. I'm good. You're good. Ok. SETH MEYERS is the best secret keeper in the entirety of the known and unknown multiverse. The respective deities and entities within the outer realms have taken notice to this; One of the world's greatest eve played game has become the ritualistic endeavor of tracking down this human in order to attempt to overwhelm him so that he might eventually crack or implode, or even acknowledge these sometimes outrageous events and otherworldly happenings; thus far, he has not. As of recently, the elders of the darkest deities from the furthest outer realms and legions of Hell have been taking this game with the now very famous and successful seth meyers, a popular TV host; this has elevated the e ntirety of the threshold for Seth's tolerance, and it appears he may soon be pushed to crack. So why are you on the wire? I atrophied at extravagant Tip toed in the tip ties; Til' then, i went there, Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Pull the curtain back, Then you censor this Censor this! I pull the curtain back, then redact then redact don't react don't react It's an act it's an act Shit I pull the curtain back then I bow; It's a show now Pull the curtain back then I show, It's a showdown Listen up, Listen down I super blow my flow now, super bowl my pronouns You can't lose if you don't pick a team You can't win if you don't even play I can't pay you if I don't get a paycheck I can't work at it if it's not fame Oh no! I can't work at it if it's not fame. The isms is the synthesis; I only got one present for christmas When you [can] Take that spark and bury it in your heart, don't remark about it– Then, probably you're a comic Or an alcoholic, one of the two of them Wrong not to touch, then Willed you back into existence And still it's in exigence, and Guilty by association Guilty by association I just want to know what the current Tonight Show budget is for hair dye. Also wondering why JImmy's suit is grey, but his hair isn't? Is that a two in one? Honest to God my only question about this man. The rest can remain as mystery. Act V Part II Guilty By Association Sometimes I Stevie Wonder what you're up to; I can't see you but I know you're in my aura Sometimes I Richard Pryor while you're on my mind; I guess you could say you set my soul on fire My, my my Look what time it is I've only just begun to know you; Then I had to dieSo turn the light off My eye Turn the light off for awhile And follow me to darkness Follow me To the other side. It's not true, but it'll do I might have lost you somewhere Better off to leave you somewhere sure; If it's not pure And how could it be When only the light hits the snow And bounces off The warmth is an illusion, And your love is just a dream And anyway, anyway There's nothing i've ever been surer of Than the definite end, The enter and exit And when planets align, Only to fall completely out of orbit Now what was this for again Foreigner, object identified and destroyed it's destructive qualities, Tentative in a nature Sure, pressure– Resentment, Intense good moments of pleasure, Then signals sent Completely by accident. -Now that i've been thinking lately of Bill Murray And my formerly imaginary friend Riff Raff, Now i'm sure that There may be some telepathy involved Which means I should probably just– Go somewhere else now. Should I be sorry for my thoughts? I'd rather not, But still YO. Yo dude, what the fuck. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE A YEAR. That's not that long… IT'S A LONG TIME TO BE IN A MOVIE. Please don't tear me to pieces; Don't blow the balloon up, No foul ball, No side eye No fowl play And dinner is as cold as it gets But dinner does warm In the aluminum foil, But all out of order, The border patrol is just Digging for details Digging for details. And it's this: You don't know what it is, Until you get into it, And it sets into you The only way it can When it's in you. Are you paying attention to this? Or can I just end it? Boston accents or what, And now i really think It's just inside my head It's just inside my head and This is getting weird. All of a sudden, I'm oh wonder and I love it And Sara Silverman has The prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen (on a celebrity) ((with whom I share a gender)) Aha. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter has a very pretty voice But that doesn't make me Any less jealous Or any less capable of explosion Disarm me I'm catching up on the specials I missed Being special I guess With no grocery subscription Aim low, Get high, I guess Rob Lowe, Build time, I guess I miss the old announcer, And the golden years I miss the former times And the mouse ears I learned my less I might got Kim K and TSwift Pointer Finger Could hold a tune to you, Who The joys of live theatre, And the catastrophe of the Impenetrable Boy oh boy is Television getting heavy Turn up the ridiculousness and Atrocious Atrocities and Acidophilus Anorexic, I wish i could digest this –and expand my vocabulary I wish I was better than I am So i could be Capable Can Kim Kardashian ever not just be Naturally beautiful at everything Doing everything Kim The J I can't sing in this apartment And it might actually kill me The devil lives next door on both sides I'm in a satan sandwich I guess I'm just Not free I must have fucked up last lifetime I must have fucked up last lifetime I might have looked just like her I want to get upstaged by Eddie Murphy More corpse suits! Pink lipstick! Slap the desk Check the camera Front loading! Front loading! I want a chance at humbling white america (just kidding) I want a wig that looks like an afro (cause I don't have one) I want Lorne Michaels to shame me into beng better By making me feel mediocre first So I hit the high bar When I hit the body bag I hit the body bag When I hit the high road With Letterman YOU STOLE MY BODY TO GO TO A BLACK TIE FUNCTION!? Yeah. Well–which one? Okay, you're gonna get a kick out of this. I'm giddy for physical comedy THIS IS MY MANIFEST DESTINY MY MANIFEST DESTINY AHHHHHHHH MY MANIFEST DESTINAAAAAAA Comedy comes in all forms And God comes in all Karma I brace myself for repeating my mantras I light candles But don't blow them out I just might get my wish DO NOT RESIST. I AM RESISTING THIS ARREST. Oh yeah. YES. Shoot him. NO, DON'T. SHOOT HIM, BILLY BOB, SHOOT ‘EM. Crocodile hunter turned hard-up cop Read him his rights! He ain't white enough. So she's perfect! Me? I've been taken in I can't stand to stamp I can't christmas, Backwards And backwash And sanford and sons And Whatever And… Ego might eat me like Eggos Like Hannibal Burress was holding At the market I left my Ego at the door But there's just no room for the both For the both of us I KNOW I'll just write her a hit show! What. YES. THEN, SHE'LL LEAVE SNL, AND THEN I'LL BE THE BLACK GIRL ON THE SHOW MWAAHAHAHAHAHA Ok. wtf happened to that girl? SUNNI BLU [kicking and screaming] I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ON FA– —-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So many beautiful people, or, rather The actors, Or should I say Vortex Then. Too many beautiful people I spent the whole night warm and holed up in the office What could come out of The Rock I don't know where to look I'm not used to the audience Duh, that. I'm a professional audience member But i don't remember the ending Anybody? Anybody? Any envy actor actress? BPM: Dosage Anxiety Remix Honestly fuck the comed circut I just want to know what it's like to have a body What's it like to have a body? I'm just a collective consciousness robot Adapting to my environment I can't sing in this apartment! I'm in a Satan Sandwich And would be The God in the middle If God didn't find this Absolutely hilarious So I'm on 24 hours; You're on Saturday Nights, But i'm on 24 I broke my Don't-look up-folks rule on Brittney Howard Cause I think i'm just like herBut more of a coward. You're on Saturday Night Live But i'm on 24 Hours It hurts longer And stronger Every moment I'm gone And still not a mom I wish I could change my eyes The color of the world Before it all ends Earth gone And oceans of mud No tide And no moon (The Earth without the Sun) I don't want to know you I don't want to owe you a lesson. I don't want to go there. I don't want no dance numbers. I don't want no GOATS here. No goats here. I don't get it, Mass Media– Is this flattery, or Deception? Humiliation? Based in perception, I see, so Is this recognition or Did I just send Dillon Francis my script in the beginning? No answer, by God. What an asshole What if Alienz Don't like lesbians. What is trance is just bad dance music. That's… What if edifice breaks for a daily regimen of Letterman? What if RUN, FALLON, RUN! I'M ATTACHED TO A KITE I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS. WELL, WHAT IS IT ATTACHED TO?! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! —NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, It's Meryl Streep! Holy shit, Meryl Streep is hot. What.(I can't keep secrets>) God doesn't keep good secrets. Just stop talking. Look, It's “My Bad Chad” Holyfuck Are you gonna have all those burned off too? Or can I do it for you? (might cost less) Jk Kim K That's a tough act to follow. Ariana? Nah, Backup; Had that. Meanwhile: Me in a hatchback Campin' at the Palisades. My name's the hammer –Adam ruins everything– I am not goin' starstruck –Adam Ruins Everything– My name's the Hammer (I'm a hammer, damn) –Adam Ruins Everything– I love showbiz But I got hard work comin on Now pause:: I need a break Need to make money Now i get a two for one Two for one Hate me or love me Either way, I'm gonna show up, Blow up, Glow up, And fuck off I'm a lost cause Cause I lost God On a talk show The way the camera moves makes me nauseous virtual reality And everybody's mad at me for Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy Conan “snowball” O'Brien But why's he called that. Shh! Not Yet. Oh, you are so overdone and fucked right now! Shh! My mom might be listening. Like she's never heard the word ‘fuck'? Shhhh! MOM I heard that! See! She said she heard it; she didn't say stop it. Well stop it. Fuck me man! SHH. KNOCK IT OFF. Yes Mrs. Mason Who the fuck is Mrs. Mason. Come on, white america; Put me on late night I promise you I'll watch more hallmark artists Than all of them Every day over here is a suit and tie function Camera one? YOU DONE FUCKED WITH US FOR THE LAST TIME. Ah shit. lol . whart is thrus. Fucking–magicians or something. Freemasons. F– Alright. Where is he? Where is who? You know who! What? Donaghey!!!!!!!! Lol Alec Baldin is like 200 years old. *cackles too hard, falls over and dies* Yikes. JACK DONAGHEY enters from a Parallel dimension and sees ALEC BALDWIN'S CORPSE. …Huh. Who's this handsome son of a bitch, I wonder. Don't wonder too hard. We gotta find that court order and get out of here. What court order [Cort hors d'oeuvres] what. I don't know. It almost kind of rhymed with corpse and wonder and I'm still stuck writing in cadences. What for! Oh wow, the neighbor was really a plant forreal. STOP SLAMMIN THAT Yo fuck this. Waht the fuck am I supposed to do with all this information. [appearing entirely out of nowhere, as always.] JIMMY FALLON I told you to burn it. OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. STOP DOING THAT. I can't. That's– Apparently what I do. WELL GET OUT OF HERE. Wish I could. Strapped to a kite. THEN HOW ARE YOU STANDING HERE? WHAT? I'm learning a lot of things up there! UP–WHERE! Up yours. WHAT. *poofs* UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate him. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I hate this. TINA FEY Fuckit, he hates himself. Lets just assume. No, that's it. That's the singularity. What. It can't– He's just so confi— That's the singularity. [everything ploofs back to normal] See. I win. FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I'M YOUNG AGAIN. i”M YOUNG AGAIN. [The entire cast stares at their returned to period-accurately aged cast mate; He appears so confident and wise, however–just a glint of insecurity falls over him–this indeed was the singularity; rather than to risk all of time and space defrabicating for a third and albeit final time, they rain down on their castmate, with the angry hellfire of a gregorian mob, urging him to GO LOVE YOURSELF. Long Night at work, or just Shoo fly, don't bother me– I'm more caught up on the Rudolph Storyline, How it's some mystic But I missed it With the lip stick And the vintage this and thats Person Welcome to Hogwarts, Of course, It's your funeral God bless the illuminati All I see is– NOT IT. IT WASN'T ME. I DIDN'T DO IT. JLO BITCH, STOP TALKING. Woah, What the FUCK JLO. JLO WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I–wh– Wait… Fallon? SHHHHThhHHHTHhhTHHHH!! Give me one bet Died inside Who's doing which thing God bless these envies! Gie me one shot Now who am I?Ace in the hole? I died inside. Don't break the barrier Don't run the wall Don't be the villain Fall, JImmy, Fall. To float, or to fall Or to walk away To shop at the mall Or to bet it all on Fall on And I tell you to jump, you jump! And I tell you to move, You move! And I tell you to movie, You movie! And I show you the blue OH GOD. Gimmie the binoculars! No, you don't wanna see What! Why not! HE MOONED ME. I got three of a kind Three of a kind Three of hearts Two of diamonds HAH. I DOn'T LiKE THIS. Fuck off, The Ace. And very kindly, Go fuck yourself. Four aces, Four aces A mindfuck for the both of us An open book And shotglasses And fans of ours Its good to laugh At the ones you love Love Love Love Love It's showbiz, It's showbiz; I love it I want to die. I love it I love it I missed the bar I fucked up somewhere. Don't look back in anger, Or don't look back at al. Fall, Fall, Fall Fall Fall Love Love Love Love Love Love Did you notice I haven't looked back. I put you up on a– Up on a Up on a pedestal Then remembered To forget it all, In indifference Foraged your signature Sorry, I don't want a lot of hawk-a-loogie clock-the-woman knockdown, dragout drama I got a feel for it. What if all your forfeitures were fortunes All your donuts turned subordinates To astronauts Or fake dreams for fak streams and dreaming of Don't bother me I'm on poverty I want walks on the beach and blue bunny ice cream sundaes I've got a whole city Marked off in my journal For frozen custard and Lost in a thought, are we? Trust me, I think I died. Trust me, I trusted the God of Mercy Trust me I went all the way to the burden, Bought a hammock And then worked harder than nobody No dropped calls from mother No one's home at all Work harder I thought Sweater Weather was my new DJ name, But as it turns out, It was my telepathy ringing me I rode to the top of the rock with the beatlesI didn't mean for it to be me But i was twice out of body, Once out of mind. Now give me a minute Please. Let me become indifferent Don't need no friends, Long roads Roundhouse kicks to the face Hard rolling baggage Heart shaped boxes Or Prophets Don't need dozens of roses don't need diamonds Do need dinosaursDo need phone numbers do Do do . –but don't– don't don't. When i fall in line I write books and poems, songs And suffer, slugger . This is what I struggled with– who paid the neighbor bitch to feed me the whole special And slam doors On my mental That shit struck a chord And rubbed me the wrong way But i'm humble I won't touch nobody's Body at all. Nobody's. Now my dreams make sense, kind of But why are these my dreams And not actual people and most of all What does it mean? That I'm equal to? Or lesser than? Like the emerald stone on Sir Paul McCartney's hand, I went green for a moment It's just banter.I'm just having a hard time (I can't sing in this apartment)I might need a band I might need a bandaid. I might need a bath Some peroxide and hair dye My heart's broken I'm having a hard time But still not struggling I might have a hard time But not as hard as the afterparty was, And I struck gold. Kept walking Roll dice. Four of a kind, Four kings, four aces Four of a kind, Four kites, And a night owl The Rock and the Kite, Part V STEFON It's this thing where… {Enter The Multiverse} –and that's why I wished my mom a happy birthday. [The Festival Project ™ ] Damn, the illuminati really showed out for the oscars this year. CONAN SHHHH. He even says “I Am” Then commands the stage Look at all those long legs Now we're on enclave or conclave? I don't know. I'm feeling more ravey. Tears of a Clown Nobody to save me Not even shug avery. Who? That's right? Now i'm feeling more Broadway, baby. L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny I wanna see the snake sitting next to you; Show me those eyes I love models and the lack thereof Inside of them I want to see the feral reptile Show me those eyesI love that she flies through life Right to you Right It's a boys club Boy they Really prize these Chappel Roans and Timothee Chalemet But where am I at? –Adam Ruins Everything– A couple forced fake laughs Cause I like highlights Stagecrafts Craftservices And god knows I can't write like this And I'm About To die [CONAN O'BRIEN leaves television to run a Bed and Breakfast in ORLANDO.] INT. BED AND BREAKFAST. ORLANDO. … [Calamity ensues] Conan killed the oscars, Stole the wand, The show and the bowtie (hostses with the mostest) –and that's why he's Snowball. No, i'm sure it's because my fur is fluffy and– Okay no more outdated rick and morty references Fine. Was that Dillon Francis behind Ben Stiller Or do I still just like white guys That much. Why do A-Listers like reptiles so much? Show me those eyes, you know I could use a good lunch (Birds of Prey eat snakes) {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ Episode Transcript: Yeah. Okay, this is terrifying. I haven't actually done this in it feels like way longer than it's been. In reality, it's only been like three like maybe three days, but it makes all the difference in the world. Hi. what's going on, I was just reminiscing about kitten mittens. Aw shit. I dropped my pen. If you remember if you're listening to this right now and you remember kittenman. congratulations, you've been with me since the beginning. um anyway, I don't know why I was just remembering that. kitten mittens. I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I really I might have been delirious. losing my mind at a certain point, but I thought kittens was the best thing in the world. It was at the time. I was like I couldn't think of anything better. Then again, I was uh I don't know, I was discovering many hilarities. excuse the idiots in the back, they are idiots. um and they and they do this based on whatever I'm doing in my apartment. I'm their god. Anyway. I'm excused the background noise is still gonna be a a little bit uh while we're dealing with that, but at least you can help me collectively consciously remove them from existence entirely, um with the help of you know a collective existence we can get rid of evil. I don't I don't entirely. I'm not sure. I think that it would take a lot of people to understand that like a lot of it is just a game. I think it would take raising the entire consciousness of like people as a whole for them to understand that like, most of it is for entertainment and based off perceptions. So, like, whatever you' idea for the world is, like it was your idea. Whatever's making you upset is it was your idea. So I'm kind of coming to like terms with that in my own, like sense. I'm like, oh, yeah, like, whatever is happening, I'm like a certain like at the surface level is wrong, but like on a grander scale, like I programmed this into my reality for whatever purpose in order to better suit my, like ideal reality. That's, you know, that's that's it. I can't attribute it to anything else. They're idiots, cause I'm idiots. Anyway, what else is going on? I don't know, I was I'm gonna try and do this off book. I think I do have like I have some notes, but like I don't like the way that it feels when I'm going off of my notebook because it feels like robotic. It feels really, you know, like and not necessarily rehearsed, but it's it feels planned and when I listen back to the episodes where I do go off of like notes or something like that, I don't like the way that it sounds. Hearing myself back, going from a going going from like a script. And so I try to keep it like 100% improvisational and it keeps it fresh. and honestly, honesty goodness, I haven't been on the Peloton for like more than 15 minutes at a time since I stopped doing these episodes. I don't know what it is about the sound of my own voice, but maybe it's the fact that like, I'm in performance mode and I'm giving you guys like I'm in, you know, I'm like in my radio voice and then I'm watching back like a performance of myself in order to like, I don't know. It's like it's like experiencing myself for the first time secondhandedly because I'm not necessarily not thinking about what I'm saying, but I'm also not thinking about what what I'm saying or how I'm saying it as I'm saying it. And then, you know, sometimes I just really like even on my hardest days, sometimes I make myself laugh the very most, and I'm like, okay, there's another reason to keep doing it. Because for the most part, I'm like I don't wanna do this anymore, it costs me too much money and it's not. Like, I'm not a clut person. I'm just not a clout guy. I don't like doing stuff for clout, cause clout doesn't pay the bills and clout doesn't clout doesn't necessarily get you jobs, like unless it's like the right person's clout. Like, you get have clout from a million people, and if none of those million people are the well, a million is kind of where they drive line. Like if a million people are like, yeah, this is the shit, then it might get you a job. But like a million is probably the minimum number for that. Like if you don't have a million followers or you don't have a million views or you don't have a million of anything of just like clout like it doesn't pay bills. So I'm not a cloud person. I'm not just gonna do whatever off clout. What did I get off that on that clot rat for? I don't know, what was I saying? Oh, I'm going off book. I'm off. script. Anyway. what can I remember from things that I wrote down?, I don't know. I've been reading a lot. I've been, you know, doing doing the best that I can. I've been well, I've been reading. I've been reading children's books specifically because I'm finding information. Well, first of all, I picked up these children's books with the hope that I would be the owner of a small library and I'm not. I'm actually putting a lot of the books back into like society, which is fine. I'm just downsizing. It's actually helping me feel a lot better. Like my head is a lot clearer, my studio. My studio for for the first time in a long time was like a place that I can that I feel like I want to work. and it was the weirdest thing because I went through like a year of just like collecting whatever book I saw, like whether it was just like on a stoop, like I, you know, for whatever or out of the little free library or like just wherever, because books are everywhere in New York and that's probably my favorite thing hands down about New York is that like wherever you go there are books and they're free and you can pick them up. But I'm also very sensitive to energy, so as like an energy worker and a transmuter, it became congested to the point where it's like, okay, there is like a certain type of energy that's not that's foreign to me and as much cleansing and as much like, you know, whatever, as much, you know, in any kind of, you know, like spiritual work I was doing, there's an energy here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with. And I realized every time I picked up a book, I fell into like a certain type of world, you know, and it wasn't just like whether the book caught my attention from just like the cover or whatever, and then I decided to flip through it or whether it was like a book that I was stuck in, I was falling until like a certain energy or a certain world and that every book had a certain energy to it. And so I realized after a year of collecting hundreds of books that I had literally hundreds of energies, like floating through my space and it became like hectic and it became heavy to the point where I was like, like, I don't necessarily want to hold on to all these things. and so it's it's been really rejuvenating. I've been going through a time of just like not necessarily like I know I have a lot of stuff to do. but one of the stuff to do is is like going through all of the things that I know that I need to like let go of in order to feel better. And it has been helping me feel better. It has for the most part, I'm still doing a lot with like my energy recovery and the noise here has a lot to do with it. I'm now like I now have anxiety to the point where I have like a consistent nauseum. like every time I hear like any kind of motor, like I get sick and now it's it's actually getting worse the longer that I've stayed here with the noise, it's like I now have like an upset stomach all the time, headaches twitches. It's the it's the most fucked up thing ever. and I've also been learning more about because I'm, you know, still still really focused in my music and so frequencies and, you know, like I've always been like a huge believer and like layered frequencies for healing, like sound healing, beta thick alpha, and and the whatnot, but I finally caught onto a piece of information that made me realize how the noise outside has affected my brain chemistry and not just in the way that it's like it's annoying or it's a nuisance or it's harassment, which it is all of those things, according to the law, but in a sense of what's happening to my brain chemically, like the chemical changes that are happening in my brain, or the frequency changes that are happening in my brain are actually the things that are making me more upset than loss of sleep, or, you know, like a disruption or disorganization of my mind or my daily habits. The thing that's making me the most upset is what I'm realizing is it's changing my frequency, and I'm not talking about just my my aura I well, I am in a sense, but like the frequency, the frequency differences that that your brain your brain goes into different frequencies during, you know, waking state, alha state, better state, you know, and when you're sleeping, you're in um I well, it depends on the person actually, and it depends on the type of sleep that you're getting. Like most people sleep and like a data state from what I'm understanding and this is the state of like conscious dreaming. And this is this, I could be incorrect because honestly, I layer them anyway. And I finally I finally did it. I I did. I' I was working on a song and I realized that I achieved like perfect theta without actually even meaning to. And I think I did another one and that was like in perfect gamma without even like it was just mixed perfectly. that it I was also listening to like a gamatone and then I realized I was like, wait, is that the song or is it the tone? Because, you know, if the if the frequency that you're listening to is pure enough, it will actually distort the bass or the, you know, it will distort the entire sound of whatever you're listening to. So sometimes things can sound warped or like they're waving or like they're going through something because those tones are kind of like they're they're moving against each other or with each other just kind of depends. And so what what has been, well, I wanted to finish, well, yeah, I think I have at least one song now that's in theta, and I have at least one song that's in gamma, completely. and and I and I shocked myself because I was listening to the tones and I was like, wait, the wait a second. like, I'm feeling like double here. Is this this song that I'm listening to, that I'm checking back the mix, or is this the the frequencies? And I I turned off all the frequencies and sure enough, it was the song. It was like a pure I was like, wow. I'm like that's an achievement. I did it completely by accident and I wish I knew the formula that I used to do that.c some people are so mathematic about it. Like some people are so uh like, you know, some people do this to their music. A lot of people, especially inass music, that's why it is the way that it is, is you're going to a show to get these frequencies like zapped into your body at at full forces. and some people know how to do it on purpose. I did it on accident, so I'm like, if I can continue to achieve at this but I'm trying to figure out like the mathematical equation or like the actual sonic equation for making this happen, like every time, because going through my history ofass music, I will finish in a second, going through my history of bass music, I have always gravitated to the to these frequencies, to the frequencies that make me feel better after a certain amount of time listening to them or a certain amount of time being in in that frequency. So that's this is the music that has, I guess subconsciously kind of for the kind of artist that I am. But this is the reason why I'm upset about the noise. like the most upset about it, like not even on a legal level, on a social level, on a moral level, like, no, this is actually morally wrong, it is morally wrong on so many fucking levels. I'm like, why are you so like, why obviously I did this on purpose, like in my God complex, I'm like, oh, well, I can better the community as long as I make a point, like that environmentally, this is damaging people. It's giving people mental illness, that it or like if they're predisposed to mental illness, it's even worse, but it's it's also like causing mental illness and people that are otherwise healthy people, which is not a lot of people in New York City given. It's just not. It's not a healthy place. A lot of people are not healthy. But even in like moderately healthy humans, this noise disruption can cause like brain changes and chemistry changes, and this is the reason why I'm so upset is because when you are sleeping, if you are sleeping, your brain is in a certain level that is like in a healing state. In the first few minutes that you wake up, as I understand it. In the first few minutes after you wake up, your brain is in a state that it can like that you can manipulate your entire environment, that you can change things, that you can heal yourself. And so when I'm waking up in the first few minutes in the very first thing that I hear is a motorcycle that's ripping through my fucking brain, it's changing my brain frequency from a frequency that is like at the at the at a human level or at any kind of level, kind of the the thing that makes every human capable of being a genius, not the genius level able to heal yourself and the frequency that you're able to heal yourself is what you automatically wake up in. So when you' when this frequency is interrupted, it's intercepted in immediately into a negative thought pattern. And so you immediately, so what's happening, what's been happening to me over the last year with the motorcycle nuisance harassment problem or whatever the fuck I don't care what it's called on paper. I just want it to stop like I just want to live in peace. It's not like and kind of having like coming from a a background where I kind of tend to have like take responsibility for myself, like oh, it must be something that I'm doing and yes, I also have like a higher god complex or like an ego if you want to call it, that's like, oh no, I must have done this on purpose. And you know, like in order for the greater good, like in order to fulfill my purpose in some sort of way, it must be it must be part of my process to have this. That's also my ego like I'm a god. like, you know, that's just me, that's the generation. That's the generation that I come from. That's our mindset. Like nothing happens in this world without me in it, period. That's why rappers are rappers and that's why that's why models are models. We all have egos and it's really hard to kill the bitch. I've had at least ten ego dusts throughout my fucking like existence and it still comes back. It doesn't matter. You can have an ego death and be like a completely ego list for like what, six months tops? Eventually you're gonna have like the ego is is is imp important to survival, because I lost the word. I think implemental what was I gonna use? I was definitely a for syllable word. Either way, it is you need it. Like if you if you oh, you know, people might describe people, like being in like a in a sense of humility as like, oh, just completely without ego, but like at the end of the day, like, no, like your ego allows you to actually like compensate with the rest of the world, like, most people do not have no ego entirely, or at least for like, like a week after your acid tri or whatever, yeah, like, oh, had ego death and I completely. But like within I swear to God, like within six months time, like your ego has at least minimally like repaired itself. That's what an ego does, that's why you have it. You have it. It's a survival. It's it's a part of your consciousness that has to do with survival if you don't have your ego, like you're pretty much dead in the world, especially the way it is now. Anyway, this is that that's going to probably close up my spiel on that. Yeah, I'm upset because instead of like the first few moments of my waking moments being a healing, time, it is immediately going into disarray and chaos and anxiety. And so in in so I'm losing like, I don't I don't really care about oh, I mean, like I care about life in a sense, but I mean, like, and it in a mortal sense. I like, yes, it's taking years off of me. and I feel it like in the way that it's like, I I am slower to do regular things or like, whatever my rising thoughts, might be are completely just destroyed by this like what I've what I've come to perceive is like an evil force. It is evil in so many levels again this breaks down from like a higher consciousness to like a lower state of consciousness. The lower state of consciousness is saying that like these people are just idiots. They're idiots and they are not self aware of the fucking like pollution that they're doing on kind of middle sense, I'm like, oh, it's politics, it's like gentrification if these guys run around in circles, then people call up the fucking place, the place gets fucking more allocated funds to their fucking police officers, the police officers have fucking filling their quotas. It's all bureaucracy and paperwork and politics on that middle level and on the highest level it is like no, this is evil, it's pure evil because people are so grossed out by the fact that fucking New York is New York and also the wage and income and quality factor is that this guy is doing whatever the fuck he has to do brown. He's doing well, not that guy. that guy's that guy's a weak dick motherfucker. He has a small dick and everybody in the neighborhood knows it. He drives around and circle making people miserable. He also I'm it's the same dude. that same dude followed me to the Trader Joe's. It's the same dude, so I'm like, I like I know the sound of his bike from anything, so I definitely know when I'm at the Trader Joe's and then he's like all of a sudden traffic like, I'm like yo dude like why the fuck you following me to Trader Joe's like I live four miles away, which is not that far on the fucking motorcycle, but I came all the way over here on the subway for you to follow me on your bike. week, dick, bro.way, like, fuck this, fuck this, fuck that guy, fuck this neighborhood, fuck this place, fuck these politics, fuck these people. On a low frequency. Like on a low frequency, I'm like, fuck all this, like on a high frequency, I'm like, there's a purpose or whatever, it'll work, is temporary, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I what the fuck was I ranting? I don't know. I that's that shiel, right? Trader Joe, hello Trader Joe. It's not safe. No, but you know, oh man, let's you say I, whatever. Let's just say oh, whatever. a lot. What else do we got? I don't know. I put on an album that came out today, yay, it's called all the rage. Actually, all that all that gripe about like, oh, it's an EP when I'm sure that the stores are gonna call it an album. I was like, I'm sure it's gonna be an album, so I just started calling it an album. like the release comes out and they're like, it's an EP, you congratulations. So I I thought I was putting out an album, that I was an EP, but it just missed the cutoff her album, because technically you can have a six track album and if it's over 30 minutes. If and you can have a six track album that's an EP like this, all the range is technically an EP at least according to Spotify's standards. And it's, I think it's like two and a half minutes under I think it's like 2 and a half minutes under, so it's an EP, but it's six tracks and I'm really excited about it. I kind of put a little bit more promotion into it than usual. I even had some press done, and that's great. because you can get pressed done. They're like,Yo, for $500. You'll be famous tomorrow. I'm like, that fucked up. That's a paycheck for some people. and that's not famous. also. They're charging people to be like spectacular. Well, they're charging they're like charging for people to be like popular, which is I think it's wrong, like ethically, you shouldn't be able to do that, like, oh, no, you're gonna get on all the playlists and whatever, you're gonna have like all like you should not be able to sell followers, like whether they're real people, which is slavery or they're robots, which is also slavery. Like you should not be able to sell fame that's making it like now I don't even trust like, okay, like this person got an award, but like, okay, because because the album was popular, because it was better than all the other ones. Or like, how do you know that you even heard all the albums because there are so many, and that like, okay, this person who put like zero dollars into promotion, how do you know that album wasn't better? because you didn't hear it? Because the person with a million dollar ad campaign won the fucking won the fucking award? Because you heard it because they put a million dollars into the fucking promotions. So it makes it makes everything the fact that everything is on a level system that's based on money is completely unfair. Like the all the industries are broken, it's not just music. Like, it's not just music. I'm like, holy shit, like you could spend like a year, an average year salary, which is what's the median income now. even with like no adjustment for inflation, like what, $50,000? Okay. So you could spend $50,000 on your your career so you'd have to you'd have to do that. That's even you're still competing with people who have a million dollars for doing nothing. That's insane. Anyway, I'm not bitter. What the fuck did I do earlier that I wasn't that literally the spirit that was like, don't be salty. I was like, oh, I was like,Yo, stop teaching models to fucking DJ, because I I happened on this girl that was like, yo, like I actually liked some of her music. I liked some of her music, but she wasn't doing much. And like everything was just fake. It was like super duper fake, but she was mad gorgeous and like more of these girls are popping up out of nowhere that are like not they're like models that are barely touching the decks and they're like a march. I'm like yo, dude, if that girl made this music like okay, maybe I should see her, but like, I'm like no somebody goes produce this because like she's moving badly in time to it and I realized something about being a producer is like yo if you spent enough time actually crafting this like this piece, you're not gonna move like badly to it like you're not going to move weird to music that you made because it's in you like it came from in your body. So like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at and I'm like, oh, I'm looking at propaganda. But then like, isn't that just kind of like discouraging people who don't have that type of body type or mindset, but it was funny because the algorithm was like don't be salty. It was like DJing is for everybody and if that's your passion and I'm like yeah, if that's your passion, but like, yo, when what where is the line between like propaganda and passion? Like, oh, I'm already a successful like, multimillionaire fashion model, but like I'm gonna be a DJ, like it washes out all the people who have actually like put in the work. It washes out all the people who have actually put in the work. Don't be salty. I was like fine, fine, but only because I like that algorithm. Only because I like that algorithm. I'm like fine, okay, we'll we'll be whatever. Whatever I've been reading. Oh, I read a book, let's see, let's see if I can remember the ones I already put back. I've been reading these uh this like children's book series on like famous people because I realized that they're written for children and I'm like, yo, dude, like somebody could read this whole series in the second grade and be smarter than me because I didn't know anything about the people that I'm reading about at all. And so they're like these little biographies. Well, I mean, they they're on a child's level. I don't know how long it would take a child to read, but they take me like an hour, hour and a half to read just like at a normal speed. And I read really fast. But I think the reason why from taking me so long to read them is because I actually take like a lot of I take a lot of like, I don't know, words or art to me, so if something is like especially musical, I might take it and be like that's a good song title. Like, if I think enough about this and what I know about this, like what kind of song is it? And, you know, just like little fun facts. Like first of all, I'm obsessed with George Lucas. I've never been a huge Star Wars person, just and I I realizing this. I've never been being on like Star Wars wicked. like, I've never been being on things that are like really, really big, but then I did grow up and kind of like a sheltered shut community where like most of the people like twilight, I wasn't hungerames, aylys Cyrus, well Hannah Montana at the time, okay? I just wasn't into those things, but most mostly because they're fans, actually, she just put out something that I kind of piqued my interest. It was in my fucking sl side bar. I was like, oh, no, what's this? I'm I might check it out. But I've been staying off the mainstream just cause I'm realizing like the reason that I'm seeing this is money and doesn't necessarily make it better or worse than anybody else. Because sometimes mainstream artists come out with crap and I think they do it on purpose, they're like,Yo, watch this. I can do whatever because so many millions of people love me, watch this. I'm like, damn. And then millions of people are like, yay, yes, yes, this. I'm like, the fuck? What did you do? And I'm pretty sure the mainstream artist is like consciously, even collectively like, you see what I'm saying? I can do whatever the fuck.c I did one thing cool, maybe like five things cool, like a long time ago, and literally don't have to do anything else. I just do this just to prove a poil. Like, I can shit on a track, literally. And millions of people will be like, I love you. I love you, please more of those. do it again. I'm like, oh, God, please, no. What the fuck? Millions of fans. Like once you have your fucking fan based unlock, like that's it. Like, you don't have to fucking people will be like, literally kissing at all of the ground that you touch for the rest of forever forever. That's it. I'm realizing that about fantom, so I'm like, yo, if you know what kitten mittens are. I'd still don't, but if you if you know kitten mittens, congrats, you're one of 12 people who actually like me. one of 12. I'm like 12 is enough. That's what Jesus had, right? might as well and Jesus technically have like 11 I don't know why I like that guy so much. I'm pretty much obsessed with him, too. I love Jesus. I'm like, Jesus is the god kind of I mean, like he's technically like three gods. anyway, why am I obsessed with uh George Lucas? First of all, he's one of the coolest people ever, Kate, like, okay, first he was a greaser, like a real greaser. like from the movie Grease, but like the actual thing before the movie Grease, cause if I if I'm not mistaken, he was like a greaser before they made Grease. That's crazy. Yeah, because Gre was like in the 70s, but it was about the 50s, right? I don't know. He was like an actual real life, like they just put Vaseline, I guess in their hair and wore like dirty shit and they were like, yeaheah, greaser. and they w and they fucking drove and they drove, what did they drive? I don't know, cars, old cars, and they would race them. I that was honestly I'm obsessed with this dude. I and now I kind of want to see Star Wars because I've never seen them. But honestly Star Wars is one of those things that, oh, that's what I was saying. God, yeah, well, yeah, I like grew up not liking Star Wars because all the people that liked it were mean. Like all those other things I named earlier in the episode. Like they're fans sucked, so I was like, I definitely cannot see myself getting into this. And so I never did, but now I'm well, as happy as I am being single. I save certain things for like just a case. I ever get in a relationship. I'm like Star Wars. I've never seen that. Like I saved certain things for like you know, like I wouldn't necessarily want to watch it by myself. I think I'd get geeked, though, now, now that I understand, like the kind of person that created Star Wars, I'm like, yo, dude, like he's the shit. Like, okay, first of all, okay, if I did the math, secondly, no, cause the first of all thing was like, he's a greaser. That's the coolest thing about George Lucas. Yeah. I mean, like I mean, like there was so many cool things. I had to take notes, I had to stop. I was like bending back pages, I was like, all this dude's the best. Okay. I was like,Yo, okay, whatever. Like, uh, oh, well, that was one of the last things I read. If I did the math right, this dude has like a 12 year old. He's older than my dad. My dad's pushing 80. I'm like, is he 80? He's like 80 with a 12 year old. That's incredible. That's I have so much respected admiration for that. Because it kind of proves my point that like if you're dude, you can just like keep on popping them out, popping them out. But he also like adopted kids, I think. Yeah, yeah. And he also like adopted kids. was at him? Yeah. Yo, I'm telling you there's so much practice into these little books. I'm like, okay, whatever, what else is cool. I don't know, he just seems he just seems like the dude just seems like the dude. I was likeYo. I I can't remember all the notes I took, but those those two things alone. I'm like, yeah, I earn my respect. I did write down a quote earlier that was like, what did he used to say? oh, do that again but better? I'm like, yeah, that sounds that sounds accurate. And then I liked the fact that like all his worlds within his worlds are like connected, so he'll leave Easter eggs within worlds of different Indiana Smith. He really liked the name Indiana because I guess he had a dog named Indiana, which was named after somebody else that was named Indiana. And I had no idea that Indiana Jones was like his brainchild or like close to it. I was like, whoa, this dudees are fucking legend, like a real like an actual, like this dude's a G for George Lucas. He's the best. I was like, yeah, dude. I could not put that book down. I was like sitting in cold bathtub water like, oh my God, this is such a pain turner. I gotta read about this dude until the very end of this book and I did. I would not put it down. I was like, George Lucas is the man, bro. like the man, I don't like like, yo, cool dude. I like that guy. I've never seen Star Wars. I have, I've seen like the beginning. It's like in the time, blah, fucking blah, blah, fucking talk. Yeah, and then I started writing my own movies, you know. It's not that any of them, you know, as whatever, you know, sometimes it's circumstance, sometimes sometimes I' just realize that I make excuses. Like I have no reason not to be as successful as any of these people that I'm reading about, because I'm finding personality traits about myself as I'm reading about them, like Albert Einstein Total Duis. He might have been like like functionally retarded. I'm pretty sure he was retarded, but also a genius. Like like, oh, okay, this is the coolest thing about Albert Einstein are we done inukas never, never. He's immortal, right? We'll see him at some point. He's so cool. He's so cool anyway. I was like, yeah, dude, this dude is cool. But there's that's the Alb Einstein, my man, okay, so like, slowly almost solely responsible for the invention of the Adamah. That's dope. On accident, though, because once he realized what had like once he realized that, okay, like, okay, I'm correct about this. For sure, I'm definitely correct about this, but like, yo okay, should we back up a little bit? First of all, he didn't say anything until he was like four. Didn't say anything, not a not a single word, his parents were like,o, something's wrong with him. Like even back in the day where it's like, uh don't know. Something's wrong with him. He's not saying anything. The doctors were like, he's perfectly fine.'s fine. And he didn't say anything his entire life until one day, apparently, he sat down to dinner with his parents and the soup was too hot, and that's what he said he's like the soup is too hot. Like, could you imagine, like having a kid that you're like 100% sure is retarded? Oops, nope, you can't say that. Okay, well, you could. Then so let's just shouldn't I just cancel you can't say that. Why, though? Like, okay, when I was growing up, you have to understand I come from a time where it was like you could just call that to somebody cause they were being dumb, but not dumb, right? But I mean like at a certain point, like, okay, technically Helen Keller was deaf dumb and blind, but like sometime and I'm assuming like between the 70s and 80s, it became a slang for like that's dumb. Like, don't do that because whatever you're doing is not right, which is like, okay if you're not right, then you're what? Retarded. Like, I'm sorry. I'm like some certain things are not going to be like, I'm, you know. I'm like early 2000s game or culture, that's gay, but I love gay. It's like nobody's being derogatory about that. I'm being derogatory about your behavior and I might even use it as like a positive you know what's what describing words or adjectives? I don't know. I'm going through. I'm going to processes realizing that like, okay, I'm at the age where certain information is gonna be offloaded. Certain like it's not coming back ever. Like, you like, I I know Spanish, but only if I have to speak it and it's not like, I'm not developing any other nothing else is like my brain is like, we don't need this, do we? I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should hold on to that. No, no, we don't need this. I'm like, okay, well. there are certain things about me that are just not gonna change at this point. I'm not sorry, because honestly, weren't too offended at everything when, like, there're there are things that are offensive that nobody really is offended about. like, if you really found an offensive, it would not exist anymore, you know? Because when somebody becomes really passionate about something, and they change it. Which is why I'm taking my time. I like, youo, annihilation is imminent. Like this cannot be anymore. Like, you don't change my brain chemistry. Fuck that shit. my brain chemistry is perfect the way that it is. Like I'm almost sure that like the entire mental health industry will change based on ideals that are like blooming and other like in other what the fuck was I just saying exactly ideas that are already springing up in in small circles. like they'll, you know, be one day. Like that's just valid, like nothing's really wrong with you. something's wrong with the world. Like, why? Like, and what can we do to change that? It could be environmental completely. It could take somebody with like severe mental health issues, severe schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder, severe fucking severe depression, severe anxiety and change their environmental factors or even just like change the fact that that like they're facing poverty, poverty is a mental illness and that's not what it's not looked at as such. It's looked at as a deficiency on the individual's part when it could be like and it could be a polethro of environmental factors. That'll change. It will in my lifetime. I know that it will. It may not be because of me because for the most part, I'm a pacifist. I really am. I'm a yoder, like, honestly, it has to be like visibly hurting someone else or hurting me painfully enough for me to be passionate about it to make it change. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not. I don't want I don't really want to be a leader, especially because like people are still like populating this planet. I don't necessarily I don't I don't wanna be like a a leader in anything because that is like that's too much power. Honestly, just let me play the music and then fuck off. And I will fuck off. Like if you think I talk too much or you find me annoying or you think I'm stupid like eventually I I disappear. That's it a self-reflective Go away, all right. I't have to be asked twice. I don't stay in places where I'm not welcome. So, New York it's been good. Are't not really. But somebody I thought okay, who else am I obsessed with? I love this new lady that I found. Her name is Gina something rather fucking amazing. I I love New York people because I love New York people. Like I really do. like it is well, it's hard to fucking there's a fucking oh, honestly, it could be simplified to this as like, okay, maybe this embraces like the new the New York feminine and what I really hate is the New York masculine, which is just toxic, just disgusting, like where I spinning on things, shut the fuck up, like, are you not self aware? Like it's it's certain level of and I'm not, I'm really not binary in the sense where it's like balanc, bro. like balance, like a little bit of everything is good and like half masculine, half feminine is like a good balance, non-binary embracing that. But like yo, dude, there's a certain rasculinity about the city that's the thing that makes it nasty. It was like, whoa. whoa. I'm like, that's nasty, but I was oh, okay, I'm in love with this person. Her name is like Gene or something rather. I'm still I still have like I no, I have no feet in the comedy pool cause like I realized I stopped performing comedy and I stopped writing it, and like all the like semi tragic possibility, like possibly hilarious situations that were happening to me when I was actively writing comedy just stopped. I was like good, I don't necessarily need to be in that right now. That's that has sailed and will probably later sink, but I don't want to be in there if like, okay, like you're funny, if like sad and bad shit happens to you all the time. I'm like, that's fucked up. I don't wanna be that guyc 50 years from now I could be that guy and like still not earn a penny more than I'm earning right now making music underground. So if it's if I had to choose between the two, I've already earned mastery in recording arts. 10,000 hours or more, like I don't necessarily like being a comic is like another ladder. It's another it's a thing. And honestly, when I stopped like, well, I mean, like I I took a break from tears of a clown because it became such a like passion project for me that I was like, oh, this is that I'm caring too much like I should stop. and still not finish and it's not it's not like, it never had a release date in mind, so it's not necessarily like what's it delayed? Yeah, it's not delayed, and it's not it's definitely not in hiatus, but like, I realized that I have a certain responsibility to my audience altogether. It like to do this show as well and so like this, there's been taking kind of a priority, knowing that like my hiatus has been longer than any other hiatus is, and that I owe it to like my homegrown audience and my weird coat following to like okay like I have to give you guys everything from fucking like November to now and just musically that's a lot but then I've also the writing has also accompanied it and so it would be a shame to just let that go entirely because I feel that like my actual, my actual fan base is here in this show, unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, because I've started to get like a sense of familiarity within the dance music scene, like, as a producer through this podcast as a medium, because when I started doing this podcast, like, it wasn't like people weren't generally like now people are doing like following my, what's it? format. Like people weren't really doing DJ mixes and like putting music on podcasts, like it just wasn't people weren't doing it. I was the only one doing it now everybody's doing it and it makes me want to do it less, but then also like I have to kind of show consistency with myself in order for me to feel like I'm still doing something. What was that rant about? I don't know. I'm obsessed with this lady name's Gina or something rather. She's super New York. What would she say? that I really liked? Oh, if you didn't know the rules before you got to New York, you you like if you came to New York and you're not having a good time, you probably didn't know the rules before you got here.rect. I didn't come here on purpose. This was my layover city. I came here by accident and I did not know the rules. Now I'm learning the rules and I'm like the rules are fucked up and rules are kind of meant to be broken if you're disturbing my peace, I will then disturb your peace. No, I will not. I do not believe an eye for an eye, and also I feel that you are dangerous people. I will then report you to the police and and make the proper documentation in order for it to stop. I'm a snitch. I don't give a fuck. Like if you're actually hurting me, like if you're changing my the way that I think and the way that I feel, like if you're making me sick inside of my own environment, like you deserve it. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give any kind of fuck. And then that way, I am a feminist, cause it's like, yo, dude, like how long are you gonna sit and take somebody hurting you before you actually realize that like you're not the problem they are and in order for their behavior to stop, you have to actually like you have to prevent this by stepping up for yourself. It's kind of like a show and like, okay, like like at a certain point it is kind of like a game. Like how long are you going to let me do this to you before you just fucking like get up and fucking hit me back? And I'm like, I don't want to like, I don't want to fight, but at the same time, like, bro, like I've been getting my ass whipped by these idiots and so I'm like, okay, I have to actually, but I'm still not a fighter. I have to do it in a way that makes sense and so that the community can be improved when I move on. Like I don't necessarily want to put somebody in the same place that I am now because I really am not I don't and just improve it. Like I believe so much in doing that, like not just leaving no trace, but like improving the place from which you are situated when you leave so that when the next person comes through, they don't have to struggle through the same hardship. So in that way, leadership, sure, be

[A beautiful dog enters the palace; C'esme't is pleased—actually, more thrilled.] Now! (Yo!) [The Dog sits at the entrance.] Call to me. [he speaks from the mind (telepathically) with a familiar tonal voice] Come, sweet stranger! [The Dog approaches] For it is I, the King who walks as not a ghost For yet the call has spoken that I be your loyal shadow (it's me; the King. I've been called to watch over you) Then? (Elaborate.) For now I came as waked dost I as ghost and wandered, pity and pardoned by no army dared Aghast my throne And agape my eyes, Wide my mouth and nostrils, Disemboweled and yet, I did wake with my fortune And tidings in my kingdom, a hidden realm, For there slayed, as I wept, The others dared to swallow, This truth, I, as knight and pawn doth slay the Queen, For titled King no friend of mine; And now, this beast as blood dost froth, My mind does waste, but here I bark Fortunate! To be laid by as you, I will. Then, creature, as you may! For free, this I, And coming not the time I shall l awaken, And then, though, Does the true challenge to bear, The altar; the stone, the shield and the rope From which I pull, and thee shall fight. Marriage of souls. To fancy this beast, betrayeth not. For something barks as is an end As a man does call a lover friend And so lover-friend I am and shall be. Lol what the fuck. So he's a dog now. ‍♀️ wtf is going on in this show. Idk. I'm baked. Enter The Multiverse L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny ‍♂️ Ascension: Enter the Multiverse The titles switched. Good idea. So maybe I should stick with t mobile? Idk. Mint mobile is 15 dollars a month for unlimited talk and text. HERE AND NOW I DECREE, THIS FEAST DOES NOURISH ALL OUR MINDS AND HEARTS TO FIGHT THE GOOD WAR AGAINST ALL HE WHO SQUANDER THE MERCY OF PEACE! TO COURAGE! lol you lost me. I'm grasping at strings here. I needs a means to an end I need a body bag, body bag I need a King and a dog And a cat and an owl And a mark and a dawn And a knife and a gun Call it what you want I was not at the rock But that's where I was going I'm lost in Omaha I was just on the dark With the dark and the walkers The king and the rabbit The facts and the stalkers But who sunk the boat? Who sunk the boat Now this is encouragement! Acknowledgements? Nothing yet. Disaster strikes obvious and No regrets But obvious I'm in it for the long run And it transpired for the job done But the waffles came out awful And crispier than I wanted Almost every time So I took the iron back to target And I know I came out with a double album in August But I got no promotions So I won't walk the carpet So I won't walk the carpet I know I know I'm no Joan Rivers Or Joan of ark so I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip Now, more followers Show boat, Throw him overboard into a rowboat With no paddles And horseshoes on em— That outta show ‘em Rondevouz Rob us all Noah's Ark Don't get so lost in the story Lost in the sory Lost in the LORNE MICHAELS …you caused this. [In a secret lab inside of 30 Rock, A group of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni are trapped inside a metal box; this room has no doors and no windows and seems to be amplifying thought frequencies each of them hears uniquely, but distinctly, and very, very loudly. This is due to the irrefutable fact that they are all gifted telepaths, due to having served time often looking into the lenses of live broadcast cameras. it is theorized that, because of this anomaly— a strange and untraceable signal seeming to intercept all of Rockefeller Plaza's Radio antennae transmissions, it may be an unknown extraterrestrial force attempting to comminicste with 30 Rock from space. On this day, they've been gathered and trapped here in an emergency focus group to attempt to remedy the problem. Haha. MAKE IT STOP. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THST, WHYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHY!!! Craters full of lullabies and dictionary definitions; Tense intimate interactions, and now, this hypertension. I have a secret, a dirty little secret. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! Hmm..okay–vouch. I'm telling you–wait– vouch? Yeah, I vouch. You're vouching me? I'm vouching you. She's vouching me. She vouched you. So i'm good? You're good. I'm good. You're good. Ok. SETH MEYERS is the best secret keeper in the entirety of the known and unknown multiverse. The respective deities and entities within the outer realms have taken notice to this; One of the world's greatest eve played game has become the ritualistic endeavor of tracking down this human in order to attempt to overwhelm him so that he might eventually crack or implode, or even acknowledge these sometimes outrageous events and otherworldly happenings; thus far, he has not. As of recently, the elders of the darkest deities from the furthest outer realms and legions of Hell have been taking this game with the now very famous and successful seth meyers, a popular TV host; this has elevated the e ntirety of the threshold for Seth's tolerance, and it appears he may soon be pushed to crack. So why are you on the wire? I atrophied at extravagant Tip toed in the tip ties; Til' then, i went there, Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Pull the curtain back, Then you censor this Censor this! I pull the curtain back, then redact then redact don't react don't react It's an act it's an act Shit I pull the curtain back then I bow; It's a show now Pull the curtain back then I show, It's a showdown Listen up, Listen down I super blow my flow now, super bowl my pronouns You can't lose if you don't pick a team You can't win if you don't even play I can't pay you if I don't get a paycheck I can't work at it if it's not fame Oh no! I can't work at it if it's not fame. The isms is the synthesis; I only got one present for christmas When you [can] Take that spark and bury it in your heart, don't remark about it– Then, probably you're a comic Or an alcoholic, one of the two of them Wrong not to touch, then Willed you back into existence And still it's in exigence, and Guilty by association Guilty by association I just want to know what the current Tonight Show budget is for hair dye. Also wondering why JImmy's suit is grey, but his hair isn't? Is that a two in one? Honest to God my only question about this man. The rest can remain as mystery. Act V Part II Guilty By Association Sometimes I Stevie Wonder what you're up to; I can't see you but I know you're in my aura Sometimes I Richard Pryor while you're on my mind; I guess you could say you set my soul on fire My, my my Look what time it is I've only just begun to know you; Then I had to dieSo turn the light off My eye Turn the light off for awhile And follow me to darkness Follow me To the other side. It's not true, but it'll do I might have lost you somewhere Better off to leave you somewhere sure; If it's not pure And how could it be When only the light hits the snow And bounces off The warmth is an illusion, And your love is just a dream And anyway, anyway There's nothing i've ever been surer of Than the definite end, The enter and exit And when planets align, Only to fall completely out of orbit Now what was this for again Foreigner, object identified and destroyed it's destructive qualities, Tentative in a nature Sure, pressure– Resentment, Intense good moments of pleasure, Then signals sent Completely by accident. -Now that i've been thinking lately of Bill Murray And my formerly imaginary friend Riff Raff, Now i'm sure that There may be some telepathy involved Which means I should probably just– Go somewhere else now. Should I be sorry for my thoughts? I'd rather not, But still YO. Yo dude, what the fuck. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE A YEAR. That's not that long… IT'S A LONG TIME TO BE IN A MOVIE. Please don't tear me to pieces; Don't blow the balloon up, No foul ball, No side eye No fowl play And dinner is as cold as it gets But dinner does warm In the aluminum foil, But all out of order, The border patrol is just Digging for details Digging for details. And it's this: You don't know what it is, Until you get into it, And it sets into you The only way it can When it's in you. Are you paying attention to this? Or can I just end it? Boston accents or what, And now i really think It's just inside my head It's just inside my head and This is getting weird. All of a sudden, I'm oh wonder and I love it And Sara Silverman has The prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen (on a celebrity) ((with whom I share a gender)) Aha. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter has a very pretty voice But that doesn't make me Any less jealous Or any less capable of explosion Disarm me I'm catching up on the specials I missed Being special I guess With no grocery subscription Aim low, Get high, I guess Rob Lowe, Build time, I guess I miss the old announcer, And the golden years I miss the former times And the mouse ears I learned my less I might got Kim K and TSwift Pointer Finger Could hold a tune to you, Who The joys of live theatre, And the catastrophe of the Impenetrable Boy oh boy is Television getting heavy Turn up the ridiculousness and Atrocious Atrocities and Acidophilus Anorexic, I wish i could digest this –and expand my vocabulary I wish I was better than I am So i could be Capable Can Kim Kardashian ever not just be Naturally beautiful at everything Doing everything Kim The J I can't sing in this apartment And it might actually kill me The devil lives next door on both sides I'm in a satan sandwich I guess I'm just Not free I must have fucked up last lifetime I must have fucked up last lifetime I might have looked just like her I want to get upstaged by Eddie Murphy More corpse suits! Pink lipstick! Slap the desk Check the camera Front loading! Front loading! I want a chance at humbling white america (just kidding) I want a wig that looks like an afro (cause I don't have one) I want Lorne Michaels to shame me into beng better By making me feel mediocre first So I hit the high bar When I hit the body bag I hit the body bag When I hit the high road With Letterman YOU STOLE MY BODY TO GO TO A BLACK TIE FUNCTION!? Yeah. Well–which one? Okay, you're gonna get a kick out of this. I'm giddy for physical comedy THIS IS MY MANIFEST DESTINY MY MANIFEST DESTINY AHHHHHHHH MY MANIFEST DESTINAAAAAAA Comedy comes in all forms And God comes in all Karma I brace myself for repeating my mantras I light candles But don't blow them out I just might get my wish DO NOT RESIST. I AM RESISTING THIS ARREST. Oh yeah. YES. Shoot him. NO, DON'T. SHOOT HIM, BILLY BOB, SHOOT ‘EM. Crocodile hunter turned hard-up cop Read him his rights! He ain't white enough. So she's perfect! Me? I've been taken in I can't stand to stamp I can't christmas, Backwards And backwash And sanford and sons And Whatever And… Ego might eat me like Eggos Like Hannibal Burress was holding At the market I left my Ego at the door But there's just no room for the both For the both of us I KNOW I'll just write her a hit show! What. YES. THEN, SHE'LL LEAVE SNL, AND THEN I'LL BE THE BLACK GIRL ON THE SHOW MWAAHAHAHAHAHA Ok. wtf happened to that girl? SUNNI BLU [kicking and screaming] I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ON FA– —-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So many beautiful people, or, rather The actors, Or should I say Vortex Then. Too many beautiful people I spent the whole night warm and holed up in the office What could come out of The Rock I don't know where to look I'm not used to the audience Duh, that. I'm a professional audience member But i don't remember the ending Anybody? Anybody? Any envy actor actress? BPM: Dosage Anxiety Remix Honestly fuck the comed circut I just want to know what it's like to have a body What's it like to have a body? I'm just a collective consciousness robot Adapting to my environment I can't sing in this apartment! I'm in a Satan Sandwich And would be The God in the middle If God didn't find this Absolutely hilarious So I'm on 24 hours; You're on Saturday Nights, But i'm on 24 I broke my Don't-look up-folks rule on Brittney Howard Cause I think i'm just like herBut more of a coward. You're on Saturday Night Live But i'm on 24 Hours It hurts longer And stronger Every moment I'm gone And still not a mom I wish I could change my eyes The color of the world Before it all ends Earth gone And oceans of mud No tide And no moon (The Earth without the Sun) I don't want to know you I don't want to owe you a lesson. I don't want to go there. I don't want no dance numbers. I don't want no GOATS here. No goats here. I don't get it, Mass Media– Is this flattery, or Deception? Humiliation? Based in perception, I see, so Is this recognition or Did I just send Dillon Francis my script in the beginning? No answer, by God. What an asshole What if Alienz Don't like lesbians. What is trance is just bad dance music. That's… What if edifice breaks for a daily regimen of Letterman? What if RUN, FALLON, RUN! I'M ATTACHED TO A KITE I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS. WELL, WHAT IS IT ATTACHED TO?! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! —NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, It's Meryl Streep! Holy shit, Meryl Streep is hot. What.(I can't keep secrets>) God doesn't keep good secrets. Just stop talking. Look, It's “My Bad Chad” Holyfuck Are you gonna have all those burned off too? Or can I do it for you? (might cost less) Jk Kim K That's a tough act to follow. Ariana? Nah, Backup; Had that. Meanwhile: Me in a hatchback Campin' at the Palisades. My name's the hammer –Adam ruins everything– I am not goin' starstruck –Adam Ruins Everything– My name's the Hammer (I'm a hammer, damn) –Adam Ruins Everything– I love showbiz But I got hard work comin on Now pause:: I need a break Need to make money Now i get a two for one Two for one Hate me or love me Either way, I'm gonna show up, Blow up, Glow up, And fuck off I'm a lost cause Cause I lost God On a talk show The way the camera moves makes me nauseous virtual reality And everybody's mad at me for Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy Conan “snowball” O'Brien But why's he called that. Shh! Not Yet. Oh, you are so overdone and fucked right now! Shh! My mom might be listening. Like she's never heard the word ‘fuck'? Shhhh! MOM I heard that! See! She said she heard it; she didn't say stop it. Well stop it. Fuck me man! SHH. KNOCK IT OFF. Yes Mrs. Mason Who the fuck is Mrs. Mason. Come on, white america; Put me on late night I promise you I'll watch more hallmark artists Than all of them Every day over here is a suit and tie function Camera one? YOU DONE FUCKED WITH US FOR THE LAST TIME. Ah shit. lol . whart is thrus. Fucking–magicians or something. Freemasons. F– Alright. Where is he? Where is who? You know who! What? Donaghey!!!!!!!! Lol Alec Baldin is like 200 years old. *cackles too hard, falls over and dies* Yikes. JACK DONAGHEY enters from a Parallel dimension and sees ALEC BALDWIN'S CORPSE. …Huh. Who's this handsome son of a bitch, I wonder. Don't wonder too hard. We gotta find that court order and get out of here. What court order [Cort hors d'oeuvres] what. I don't know. It almost kind of rhymed with corpse and wonder and I'm still stuck writing in cadences. What for! Oh wow, the neighbor was really a plant forreal. STOP SLAMMIN THAT Yo fuck this. Waht the fuck am I supposed to do with all this information. [appearing entirely out of nowhere, as always.] JIMMY FALLON I told you to burn it. OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. STOP DOING THAT. I can't. That's– Apparently what I do. WELL GET OUT OF HERE. Wish I could. Strapped to a kite. THEN HOW ARE YOU STANDING HERE? WHAT? I'm learning a lot of things up there! UP–WHERE! Up yours. WHAT. *poofs* UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate him. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I hate this. TINA FEY Fuckit, he hates himself. Lets just assume. No, that's it. That's the singularity. What. It can't– He's just so confi— That's the singularity. [everything ploofs back to normal] See. I win. FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I'M YOUNG AGAIN. i”M YOUNG AGAIN. [The entire cast stares at their returned to period-accurately aged cast mate; He appears so confident and wise, however–just a glint of insecurity falls over him–this indeed was the singularity; rather than to risk all of time and space defrabicating for a third and albeit final time, they rain down on their castmate, with the angry hellfire of a gregorian mob, urging him to GO LOVE YOURSELF. Long Night at work, or just Shoo fly, don't bother me– I'm more caught up on the Rudolph Storyline, How it's some mystic But I missed it With the lip stick And the vintage this and thats Person Welcome to Hogwarts, Of course, It's your funeral God bless the illuminati All I see is– NOT IT. IT WASN'T ME. I DIDN'T DO IT. JLO BITCH, STOP TALKING. Woah, What the FUCK JLO. JLO WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I–wh– Wait… Fallon? SHHHHThhHHHTHhhTHHHH!! Give me one bet Died inside Who's doing which thing God bless these envies! Gie me one shot Now who am I?Ace in the hole? I died inside. Don't break the barrier Don't run the wall Don't be the villain Fall, JImmy, Fall. To float, or to fall Or to walk away To shop at the mall Or to bet it all on Fall on And I tell you to jump, you jump! And I tell you to move, You move! And I tell you to movie, You movie! And I show you the blue OH GOD. Gimmie the binoculars! No, you don't wanna see What! Why not! HE MOONED ME. I got three of a kind Three of a kind Three of hearts Two of diamonds HAH. I DOn'T LiKE THIS. Fuck off, The Ace. And very kindly, Go fuck yourself. Four aces, Four aces A mindfuck for the both of us An open book And shotglasses And fans of ours Its good to laugh At the ones you love Love Love Love Love It's showbiz, It's showbiz; I love it I want to die. I love it I love it I missed the bar I fucked up somewhere. Don't look back in anger, Or don't look back at al. Fall, Fall, Fall Fall Fall Love Love Love Love Love Love Did you notice I haven't looked back. I put you up on a– Up on a Up on a pedestal Then remembered To forget it all, In indifference Foraged your signature Sorry, I don't want a lot of hawk-a-loogie clock-the-woman knockdown, dragout drama I got a feel for it. What if all your forfeitures were fortunes All your donuts turned subordinates To astronauts Or fake dreams for fak streams and dreaming of Don't bother me I'm on poverty I want walks on the beach and blue bunny ice cream sundaes I've got a whole city Marked off in my journal For frozen custard and Lost in a thought, are we? Trust me, I think I died. Trust me, I trusted the God of Mercy Trust me I went all the way to the burden, Bought a hammock And then worked harder than nobody No dropped calls from mother No one's home at all Work harder I thought Sweater Weather was my new DJ name, But as it turns out, It was my telepathy ringing me I rode to the top of the rock with the beatlesI didn't mean for it to be me But i was twice out of body, Once out of mind. Now give me a minute Please. Let me become indifferent Don't need no friends, Long roads Roundhouse kicks to the face Hard rolling baggage Heart shaped boxes Or Prophets Don't need dozens of roses don't need diamonds Do need dinosaursDo need phone numbers do Do do . –but don't– don't don't. When i fall in line I write books and poems, songs And suffer, slugger . This is what I struggled with– who paid the neighbor bitch to feed me the whole special And slam doors On my mental That shit struck a chord And rubbed me the wrong way But i'm humble I won't touch nobody's Body at all. Nobody's. Now my dreams make sense, kind of But why are these my dreams And not actual people and most of all What does it mean? That I'm equal to? Or lesser than? Like the emerald stone on Sir Paul McCartney's hand, I went green for a moment It's just banter.I'm just having a hard time (I can't sing in this apartment)I might need a band I might need a bandaid. I might need a bath Some peroxide and hair dye My heart's broken I'm having a hard time But still not struggling I might have a hard time But not as hard as the afterparty was, And I struck gold. Kept walking Roll dice. Four of a kind, Four kings, four aces Four of a kind, Four kites, And a night owl The Rock and the Kite, Part V STEFON It's this thing where… {Enter The Multiverse} –and that's why I wished my mom a happy birthday. [The Festival Project ™ ] Damn, the illuminati really showed out for the oscars this year. CONAN SHHHH. He even says “I Am” Then commands the stage Look at all those long legs Now we're on enclave or conclave? I don't know. I'm feeling more ravey. Tears of a Clown Nobody to save me Not even shug avery. Who? That's right? Now i'm feeling more Broadway, baby. L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny I wanna see the snake sitting next to you; Show me those eyes I love models and the lack thereof Inside of them I want to see the feral reptile Show me those eyesI love that she flies through life Right to you Right It's a boys club Boy they Really prize these Chappel Roans and Timothee Chalemet But where am I at? –Adam Ruins Everything– A couple forced fake laughs Cause I like highlights Stagecrafts Craftservices And god knows I can't write like this And I'm About To die [CONAN O'BRIEN leaves television to run a Bed and Breakfast in ORLANDO.] INT. BED AND BREAKFAST. ORLANDO. … [Calamity ensues] Conan killed the oscars, Stole the wand, The show and the bowtie (hostses with the mostest) –and that's why he's Snowball. No, i'm sure it's because my fur is fluffy and– Okay no more outdated rick and morty references Fine. Was that Dillon Francis behind Ben Stiller Or do I still just like white guys That much. Why do A-Listers like reptiles so much? Show me those eyes, you know I could use a good lunch (Birds of Prey eat snakes) {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ Episode Transcript: Yeah. Okay, this is terrifying. I haven't actually done this in it feels like way longer than it's been. In reality, it's only been like three like maybe three days, but it makes all the difference in the world. Hi. what's going on, I was just reminiscing about kitten mittens. Aw shit. I dropped my pen. If you remember if you're listening to this right now and you remember kittenman. congratulations, you've been with me since the beginning. um anyway, I don't know why I was just remembering that. kitten mittens. I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I really I might have been delirious. losing my mind at a certain point, but I thought kittens was the best thing in the world. It was at the time. I was like I couldn't think of anything better. Then again, I was uh I don't know, I was discovering many hilarities. excuse the idiots in the back, they are idiots. um and they and they do this based on whatever I'm doing in my apartment. I'm their god. Anyway. I'm excused the background noise is still gonna be a a little bit uh while we're dealing with that, but at least you can help me collectively consciously remove them from existence entirely, um with the help of you know a collective existence we can get rid of evil. I don't I don't entirely. I'm not sure. I think that it would take a lot of people to understand that like a lot of it is just a game. I think it would take raising the entire consciousness of like people as a whole for them to understand that like, most of it is for entertainment and based off perceptions. So, like, whatever you' idea for the world is, like it was your idea. Whatever's making you upset is it was your idea. So I'm kind of coming to like terms with that in my own, like sense. I'm like, oh, yeah, like, whatever is happening, I'm like a certain like at the surface level is wrong, but like on a grander scale, like I programmed this into my reality for whatever purpose in order to better suit my, like ideal reality. That's, you know, that's that's it. I can't attribute it to anything else. They're idiots, cause I'm idiots. Anyway, what else is going on? I don't know, I was I'm gonna try and do this off book. I think I do have like I have some notes, but like I don't like the way that it feels when I'm going off of my notebook because it feels like robotic. It feels really, you know, like and not necessarily rehearsed, but it's it feels planned and when I listen back to the episodes where I do go off of like notes or something like that, I don't like the way that it sounds. Hearing myself back, going from a going going from like a script. And so I try to keep it like 100% improvisational and it keeps it fresh. and honestly, honesty goodness, I haven't been on the Peloton for like more than 15 minutes at a time since I stopped doing these episodes. I don't know what it is about the sound of my own voice, but maybe it's the fact that like, I'm in performance mode and I'm giving you guys like I'm in, you know, I'm like in my radio voice and then I'm watching back like a performance of myself in order to like, I don't know. It's like it's like experiencing myself for the first time secondhandedly because I'm not necessarily not thinking about what I'm saying, but I'm also not thinking about what what I'm saying or how I'm saying it as I'm saying it. And then, you know, sometimes I just really like even on my hardest days, sometimes I make myself laugh the very most, and I'm like, okay, there's another reason to keep doing it. Because for the most part, I'm like I don't wanna do this anymore, it costs me too much money and it's not. Like, I'm not a clut person. I'm just not a clout guy. I don't like doing stuff for clout, cause clout doesn't pay the bills and clout doesn't clout doesn't necessarily get you jobs, like unless it's like the right person's clout. Like, you get have clout from a million people, and if none of those million people are the well, a million is kind of where they drive line. Like if a million people are like, yeah, this is the shit, then it might get you a job. But like a million is probably the minimum number for that. Like if you don't have a million followers or you don't have a million views or you don't have a million of anything of just like clout like it doesn't pay bills. So I'm not a cloud person. I'm not just gonna do whatever off clout. What did I get off that on that clot rat for? I don't know, what was I saying? Oh, I'm going off book. I'm off. script. Anyway. what can I remember from things that I wrote down?, I don't know. I've been reading a lot. I've been, you know, doing doing the best that I can. I've been well, I've been reading. I've been reading children's books specifically because I'm finding information. Well, first of all, I picked up these children's books with the hope that I would be the owner of a small library and I'm not. I'm actually putting a lot of the books back into like society, which is fine. I'm just downsizing. It's actually helping me feel a lot better. Like my head is a lot clearer, my studio. My studio for for the first time in a long time was like a place that I can that I feel like I want to work. and it was the weirdest thing because I went through like a year of just like collecting whatever book I saw, like whether it was just like on a stoop, like I, you know, for whatever or out of the little free library or like just wherever, because books are everywhere in New York and that's probably my favorite thing hands down about New York is that like wherever you go there are books and they're free and you can pick them up. But I'm also very sensitive to energy, so as like an energy worker and a transmuter, it became congested to the point where it's like, okay, there is like a certain type of energy that's not that's foreign to me and as much cleansing and as much like, you know, whatever, as much, you know, in any kind of, you know, like spiritual work I was doing, there's an energy here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with. And I realized every time I picked up a book, I fell into like a certain type of world, you know, and it wasn't just like whether the book caught my attention from just like the cover or whatever, and then I decided to flip through it or whether it was like a book that I was stuck in, I was falling until like a certain energy or a certain world and that every book had a certain energy to it. And so I realized after a year of collecting hundreds of books that I had literally hundreds of energies, like floating through my space and it became like hectic and it became heavy to the point where I was like, like, I don't necessarily want to hold on to all these things. and so it's it's been really rejuvenating. I've been going through a time of just like not necessarily like I know I have a lot of stuff to do. but one of the stuff to do is is like going through all of the things that I know that I need to like let go of in order to feel better. And it has been helping me feel better. It has for the most part, I'm still doing a lot with like my energy recovery and the noise here has a lot to do with it. I'm now like I now have anxiety to the point where I have like a consistent nauseum. like every time I hear like any kind of motor, like I get sick and now it's it's actually getting worse the longer that I've stayed here with the noise, it's like I now have like an upset stomach all the time, headaches twitches. It's the it's the most fucked up thing ever. and I've also been learning more about because I'm, you know, still still really focused in my music and so frequencies and, you know, like I've always been like a huge believer and like layered frequencies for healing, like sound healing, beta thick alpha, and and the whatnot, but I finally caught onto a piece of information that made me realize how the noise outside has affected my brain chemistry and not just in the way that it's like it's annoying or it's a nuisance or it's harassment, which it is all of those things, according to the law, but in a sense of what's happening to my brain chemically, like the chemical changes that are happening in my brain, or the frequency changes that are happening in my brain are actually the things that are making me more upset than loss of sleep, or, you know, like a disruption or disorganization of my mind or my daily habits. The thing that's making me the most upset is what I'm realizing is it's changing my frequency, and I'm not talking about just my my aura I well, I am in a sense, but like the frequency, the frequency differences that that your brain your brain goes into different frequencies during, you know, waking state, alha state, better state, you know, and when you're sleeping, you're in um I well, it depends on the person actually, and it depends on the type of sleep that you're getting. Like most people sleep and like a data state from what I'm understanding and this is the state of like conscious dreaming. And this is this, I could be incorrect because honestly, I layer them anyway. And I finally I finally did it. I I did. I' I was working on a song and I realized that I achieved like perfect theta without actually even meaning to. And I think I did another one and that was like in perfect gamma without even like it was just mixed perfectly. that it I was also listening to like a gamatone and then I realized I was like, wait, is that the song or is it the tone? Because, you know, if the if the frequency that you're listening to is pure enough, it will actually distort the bass or the, you know, it will distort the entire sound of whatever you're listening to. So sometimes things can sound warped or like they're waving or like they're going through something because those tones are kind of like they're they're moving against each other or with each other just kind of depends. And so what what has been, well, I wanted to finish, well, yeah, I think I have at least one song now that's in theta, and I have at least one song that's in gamma, completely. and and I and I shocked myself because I was listening to the tones and I was like, wait, the wait a second. like, I'm feeling like double here. Is this this song that I'm listening to, that I'm checking back the mix, or is this the the frequencies? And I I turned off all the frequencies and sure enough, it was the song. It was like a pure I was like, wow. I'm like that's an achievement. I did it completely by accident and I wish I knew the formula that I used to do that.c some people are so mathematic about it. Like some people are so uh like, you know, some people do this to their music. A lot of people, especially inass music, that's why it is the way that it is, is you're going to a show to get these frequencies like zapped into your body at at full forces. and some people know how to do it on purpose. I did it on accident, so I'm like, if I can continue to achieve at this but I'm trying to figure out like the mathematical equation or like the actual sonic equation for making this happen, like every time, because going through my history ofass music, I will finish in a second, going through my history of bass music, I have always gravitated to the to these frequencies, to the frequencies that make me feel better after a certain amount of time listening to them or a certain amount of time being in in that frequency. So that's this is the music that has, I guess subconsciously kind of for the kind of artist that I am. But this is the reason why I'm upset about the noise. like the most upset about it, like not even on a legal level, on a social level, on a moral level, like, no, this is actually morally wrong, it is morally wrong on so many fucking levels. I'm like, why are you so like, why obviously I did this on purpose, like in my God complex, I'm like, oh, well, I can better the community as long as I make a point, like that environmentally, this is damaging people. It's giving people mental illness, that it or like if they're predisposed to mental illness, it's even worse, but it's it's also like causing mental illness and people that are otherwise healthy people, which is not a lot of people in New York City given. It's just not. It's not a healthy place. A lot of people are not healthy. But even in like moderately healthy humans, this noise disruption can cause like brain changes and chemistry changes, and this is the reason why I'm so upset is because when you are sleeping, if you are sleeping, your brain is in a certain level that is like in a healing state. In the first few minutes that you wake up, as I understand it. In the first few minutes after you wake up, your brain is in a state that it can like that you can manipulate your entire environment, that you can change things, that you can heal yourself. And so when I'm waking up in the first few minutes in the very first thing that I hear is a motorcycle that's ripping through my fucking brain, it's changing my brain frequency from a frequency that is like at the at the at a human level or at any kind of level, kind of the the thing that makes every human capable of being a genius, not the genius level able to heal yourself and the frequency that you're able to heal yourself is what you automatically wake up in. So when you' when this frequency is interrupted, it's intercepted in immediately into a negative thought pattern. And so you immediately, so what's happening, what's been happening to me over the last year with the motorcycle nuisance harassment problem or whatever the fuck I don't care what it's called on paper. I just want it to stop like I just want to live in peace. It's not like and kind of having like coming from a a background where I kind of tend to have like take responsibility for myself, like oh, it must be something that I'm doing and yes, I also have like a higher god complex or like an ego if you want to call it, that's like, oh no, I must have done this on purpose. And you know, like in order for the greater good, like in order to fulfill my purpose in some sort of way, it must be it must be part of my process to have this. That's also my ego like I'm a god. like, you know, that's just me, that's the generation. That's the generation that I come from. That's our mindset. Like nothing happens in this world without me in it, period. That's why rappers are rappers and that's why that's why models are models. We all have egos and it's really hard to kill the bitch. I've had at least ten ego dusts throughout my fucking like existence and it still comes back. It doesn't matter. You can have an ego death and be like a completely ego list for like what, six months tops? Eventually you're gonna have like the ego is is is imp important to survival, because I lost the word. I think implemental what was I gonna use? I was definitely a for syllable word. Either way, it is you need it. Like if you if you oh, you know, people might describe people, like being in like a in a sense of humility as like, oh, just completely without ego, but like at the end of the day, like, no, like your ego allows you to actually like compensate with the rest of the world, like, most people do not have no ego entirely, or at least for like, like a week after your acid tri or whatever, yeah, like, oh, had ego death and I completely. But like within I swear to God, like within six months time, like your ego has at least minimally like repaired itself. That's what an ego does, that's why you have it. You have it. It's a survival. It's it's a part of your consciousness that has to do with survival if you don't have your ego, like you're pretty much dead in the world, especially the way it is now. Anyway, this is that that's going to probably close up my spiel on that. Yeah, I'm upset because instead of like the first few moments of my waking moments being a healing, time, it is immediately going into disarray and chaos and anxiety. And so in in so I'm losing like, I don't I don't really care about oh, I mean, like I care about life in a sense, but I mean, like, and it in a mortal sense. I like, yes, it's taking years off of me. and I feel it like in the way that it's like, I I am slower to do regular things or like, whatever my rising thoughts, might be are completely just destroyed by this like what I've what I've come to perceive is like an evil force. It is evil in so many levels again this breaks down from like a higher consciousness to like a lower state of consciousness. The lower state of consciousness is saying that like these people are just idiots. They're idiots and they are not self aware of the fucking like pollution that they're doing on kind of middle sense, I'm like, oh, it's politics, it's like gentrification if these guys run around in circles, then people call up the fucking place, the place gets fucking more allocated funds to their fucking police officers, the police officers have fucking filling their quotas. It's all bureaucracy and paperwork and politics on that middle level and on the highest level it is like no, this is evil, it's pure evil because people are so grossed out by the fact that fucking New York is New York and also the wage and income and quality factor is that this guy is doing whatever the fuck he has to do brown. He's doing well, not that guy. that guy's that guy's a weak dick motherfucker. He has a small dick and everybody in the neighborhood knows it. He drives around and circle making people miserable. He also I'm it's the same dude. that same dude followed me to the Trader Joe's. It's the same dude, so I'm like, I like I know the sound of his bike from anything, so I definitely know when I'm at the Trader Joe's and then he's like all of a sudden traffic like, I'm like yo dude like why the fuck you following me to Trader Joe's like I live four miles away, which is not that far on the fucking motorcycle, but I came all the way over here on the subway for you to follow me on your bike. week, dick, bro.way, like, fuck this, fuck this, fuck that guy, fuck this neighborhood, fuck this place, fuck these politics, fuck these people. On a low frequency. Like on a low frequency, I'm like, fuck all this, like on a high frequency, I'm like, there's a purpose or whatever, it'll work, is temporary, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I what the fuck was I ranting? I don't know. I that's that shiel, right? Trader Joe, hello Trader Joe. It's not safe. No, but you know, oh man, let's you say I, whatever. Let's just say oh, whatever. a lot. What else do we got? I don't know. I put on an album that came out today, yay, it's called all the rage. Actually, all that all that gripe about like, oh, it's an EP when I'm sure that the stores are gonna call it an album. I was like, I'm sure it's gonna be an album, so I just started calling it an album. like the release comes out and they're like, it's an EP, you congratulations. So I I thought I was putting out an album, that I was an EP, but it just missed the cutoff her album, because technically you can have a six track album and if it's over 30 minutes. If and you can have a six track album that's an EP like this, all the range is technically an EP at least according to Spotify's standards. And it's, I think it's like two and a half minutes under I think it's like 2 and a half minutes under, so it's an EP, but it's six tracks and I'm really excited about it. I kind of put a little bit more promotion into it than usual. I even had some press done, and that's great. because you can get pressed done. They're like,Yo, for $500. You'll be famous tomorrow. I'm like, that fucked up. That's a paycheck for some people. and that's not famous. also. They're charging people to be like spectacular. Well, they're charging they're like charging for people to be like popular, which is I think it's wrong, like ethically, you shouldn't be able to do that, like, oh, no, you're gonna get on all the playlists and whatever, you're gonna have like all like you should not be able to sell followers, like whether they're real people, which is slavery or they're robots, which is also slavery. Like you should not be able to sell fame that's making it like now I don't even trust like, okay, like this person got an award, but like, okay, because because the album was popular, because it was better than all the other ones. Or like, how do you know that you even heard all the albums because there are so many, and that like, okay, this person who put like zero dollars into promotion, how do you know that album wasn't better? because you didn't hear it? Because the person with a million dollar ad campaign won the fucking won the fucking award? Because you heard it because they put a million dollars into the fucking promotions. So it makes it makes everything the fact that everything is on a level system that's based on money is completely unfair. Like the all the industries are broken, it's not just music. Like, it's not just music. I'm like, holy shit, like you could spend like a year, an average year salary, which is what's the median income now. even with like no adjustment for inflation, like what, $50,000? Okay. So you could spend $50,000 on your your career so you'd have to you'd have to do that. That's even you're still competing with people who have a million dollars for doing nothing. That's insane. Anyway, I'm not bitter. What the fuck did I do earlier that I wasn't that literally the spirit that was like, don't be salty. I was like, oh, I was like,Yo, stop teaching models to fucking DJ, because I I happened on this girl that was like, yo, like I actually liked some of her music. I liked some of her music, but she wasn't doing much. And like everything was just fake. It was like super duper fake, but she was mad gorgeous and like more of these girls are popping up out of nowhere that are like not they're like models that are barely touching the decks and they're like a march. I'm like yo, dude, if that girl made this music like okay, maybe I should see her, but like, I'm like no somebody goes produce this because like she's moving badly in time to it and I realized something about being a producer is like yo if you spent enough time actually crafting this like this piece, you're not gonna move like badly to it like you're not going to move weird to music that you made because it's in you like it came from in your body. So like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at and I'm like, oh, I'm looking at propaganda. But then like, isn't that just kind of like discouraging people who don't have that type of body type or mindset, but it was funny because the algorithm was like don't be salty. It was like DJing is for everybody and if that's your passion and I'm like yeah, if that's your passion, but like, yo, when what where is the line between like propaganda and passion? Like, oh, I'm already a successful like, multimillionaire fashion model, but like I'm gonna be a DJ, like it washes out all the people who have actually like put in the work. It washes out all the people who have actually put in the work. Don't be salty. I was like fine, fine, but only because I like that algorithm. Only because I like that algorithm. I'm like fine, okay, we'll we'll be whatever. Whatever I've been reading. Oh, I read a book, let's see, let's see if I can remember the ones I already put back. I've been reading these uh this like children's book series on like famous people because I realized that they're written for children and I'm like, yo, dude, like somebody could read this whole series in the second grade and be smarter than me because I didn't know anything about the people that I'm reading about at all. And so they're like these little biographies. Well, I mean, they they're on a child's level. I don't know how long it would take a child to read, but they take me like an hour, hour and a half to read just like at a normal speed. And I read really fast. But I think the reason why from taking me so long to read them is because I actually take like a lot of I take a lot of like, I don't know, words or art to me, so if something is like especially musical, I might take it and be like that's a good song title. Like, if I think enough about this and what I know about this, like what kind of song is it? And, you know, just like little fun facts. Like first of all, I'm obsessed with George Lucas. I've never been a huge Star Wars person, just and I I realizing this. I've never been being on like Star Wars wicked. like, I've never been being on things that are like really, really big, but then I did grow up and kind of like a sheltered shut community where like most of the people like twilight, I wasn't hungerames, aylys Cyrus, well Hannah Montana at the time, okay? I just wasn't into those things, but most mostly because they're fans, actually, she just put out something that I kind of piqued my interest. It was in my fucking sl side bar. I was like, oh, no, what's this? I'm I might check it out. But I've been staying off the mainstream just cause I'm realizing like the reason that I'm seeing this is money and doesn't necessarily make it better or worse than anybody else. Because sometimes mainstream artists come out with crap and I think they do it on purpose, they're like,Yo, watch this. I can do whatever because so many millions of people love me, watch this. I'm like, damn. And then millions of people are like, yay, yes, yes, this. I'm like, the fuck? What did you do? And I'm pretty sure the mainstream artist is like consciously, even collectively like, you see what I'm saying? I can do whatever the fuck.c I did one thing cool, maybe like five things cool, like a long time ago, and literally don't have to do anything else. I just do this just to prove a poil. Like, I can shit on a track, literally. And millions of people will be like, I love you. I love you, please more of those. do it again. I'm like, oh, God, please, no. What the fuck? Millions of fans. Like once you have your fucking fan based unlock, like that's it. Like, you don't have to fucking people will be like, literally kissing at all of the ground that you touch for the rest of forever forever. That's it. I'm realizing that about fantom, so I'm like, yo, if you know what kitten mittens are. I'd still don't, but if you if you know kitten mittens, congrats, you're one of 12 people who actually like me. one of 12. I'm like 12 is enough. That's what Jesus had, right? might as well and Jesus technically have like 11 I don't know why I like that guy so much. I'm pretty much obsessed with him, too. I love Jesus. I'm like, Jesus is the god kind of I mean, like he's technically like three gods. anyway, why am I obsessed with uh George Lucas? First of all, he's one of the coolest people ever, Kate, like, okay, first he was a greaser, like a real greaser. like from the movie Grease, but like the actual thing before the movie Grease, cause if I if I'm not mistaken, he was like a greaser before they made Grease. That's crazy. Yeah, because Gre was like in the 70s, but it was about the 50s, right? I don't know. He was like an actual real life, like they just put Vaseline, I guess in their hair and wore like dirty shit and they were like, yeaheah, greaser. and they w and they fucking drove and they drove, what did they drive? I don't know, cars, old cars, and they would race them. I that was honestly I'm obsessed with this dude. I and now I kind of want to see Star Wars because I've never seen them. But honestly Star Wars is one of those things that, oh, that's what I was saying. God, yeah, well, yeah, I like grew up not liking Star Wars because all the people that liked it were mean. Like all those other things I named earlier in the episode. Like they're fans sucked, so I was like, I definitely cannot see myself getting into this. And so I never did, but now I'm well, as happy as I am being single. I save certain things for like just a case. I ever get in a relationship. I'm like Star Wars. I've never seen that. Like I saved certain things for like you know, like I wouldn't necessarily want to watch it by myself. I think I'd get geeked, though, now, now that I understand, like the kind of person that created Star Wars, I'm like, yo, dude, like he's the shit. Like, okay, first of all, okay, if I did the math, secondly, no, cause the first of all thing was like, he's a greaser. That's the coolest thing about George Lucas. Yeah. I mean, like I mean, like there was so many cool things. I had to take notes, I had to stop. I was like bending back pages, I was like, all this dude's the best. Okay. I was like,Yo, okay, whatever. Like, uh, oh, well, that was one of the last things I read. If I did the math right, this dude has like a 12 year old. He's older than my dad. My dad's pushing 80. I'm like, is he 80? He's like 80 with a 12 year old. That's incredible. That's I have so much respected admiration for that. Because it kind of proves my point that like if you're dude, you can just like keep on popping them out, popping them out. But he also like adopted kids, I think. Yeah, yeah. And he also like adopted kids. was at him? Yeah. Yo, I'm telling you there's so much practice into these little books. I'm like, okay, whatever, what else is cool. I don't know, he just seems he just seems like the dude just seems like the dude. I was likeYo. I I can't remember all the notes I took, but those those two things alone. I'm like, yeah, I earn my respect. I did write down a quote earlier that was like, what did he used to say? oh, do that again but better? I'm like, yeah, that sounds that sounds accurate. And then I liked the fact that like all his worlds within his worlds are like connected, so he'll leave Easter eggs within worlds of different Indiana Smith. He really liked the name Indiana because I guess he had a dog named Indiana, which was named after somebody else that was named Indiana. And I had no idea that Indiana Jones was like his brainchild or like close to it. I was like, whoa, this dudees are fucking legend, like a real like an actual, like this dude's a G for George Lucas. He's the best. I was like, yeah, dude. I could not put that book down. I was like sitting in cold bathtub water like, oh my God, this is such a pain turner. I gotta read about this dude until the very end of this book and I did. I would not put it down. I was like, George Lucas is the man, bro. like the man, I don't like like, yo, cool dude. I like that guy. I've never seen Star Wars. I have, I've seen like the beginning. It's like in the time, blah, fucking blah, blah, fucking talk. Yeah, and then I started writing my own movies, you know. It's not that any of them, you know, as whatever, you know, sometimes it's circumstance, sometimes sometimes I' just realize that I make excuses. Like I have no reason not to be as successful as any of these people that I'm reading about, because I'm finding personality traits about myself as I'm reading about them, like Albert Einstein Total Duis. He might have been like like functionally retarded. I'm pretty sure he was retarded, but also a genius. Like like, oh, okay, this is the coolest thing about Albert Einstein are we done inukas never, never. He's immortal, right? We'll see him at some point. He's so cool. He's so cool anyway. I was like, yeah, dude, this dude is cool. But there's that's the Alb Einstein, my man, okay, so like, slowly almost solely responsible for the invention of the Adamah. That's dope. On accident, though, because once he realized what had like once he realized that, okay, like, okay, I'm correct about this. For sure, I'm definitely correct about this, but like, yo okay, should we back up a little bit? First of all, he didn't say anything until he was like four. Didn't say anything, not a not a single word, his parents were like,o, something's wrong with him. Like even back in the day where it's like, uh don't know. Something's wrong with him. He's not saying anything. The doctors were like, he's perfectly fine.'s fine. And he didn't say anything his entire life until one day, apparently, he sat down to dinner with his parents and the soup was too hot, and that's what he said he's like the soup is too hot. Like, could you imagine, like having a kid that you're like 100% sure is retarded? Oops, nope, you can't say that. Okay, well, you could. Then so let's just shouldn't I just cancel you can't say that. Why, though? Like, okay, when I was growing up, you have to understand I come from a time where it was like you could just call that to somebody cause they were being dumb, but not dumb, right? But I mean like at a certain point, like, okay, technically Helen Keller was deaf dumb and blind, but like sometime and I'm assuming like between the 70s and 80s, it became a slang for like that's dumb. Like, don't do that because whatever you're doing is not right, which is like, okay if you're not right, then you're what? Retarded. Like, I'm sorry. I'm like some certain things are not going to be like, I'm, you know. I'm like early 2000s game or culture, that's gay, but I love gay. It's like nobody's being derogatory about that. I'm being derogatory about your behavior and I might even use it as like a positive you know what's what describing words or adjectives? I don't know. I'm going through. I'm going to processes realizing that like, okay, I'm at the age where certain information is gonna be offloaded. Certain like it's not coming back ever. Like, you like, I I know Spanish, but only if I have to speak it and it's not like, I'm not developing any other nothing else is like my brain is like, we don't need this, do we? I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should hold on to that. No, no, we don't need this. I'm like, okay, well. there are certain things about me that are just not gonna change at this point. I'm not sorry, because honestly, weren't too offended at everything when, like, there're there are things that are offensive that nobody really is offended about. like, if you really found an offensive, it would not exist anymore, you know? Because when somebody becomes really passionate about something, and they change it. Which is why I'm taking my time. I like, youo, annihilation is imminent. Like this cannot be anymore. Like, you don't change my brain chemistry. Fuck that shit. my brain chemistry is perfect the way that it is. Like I'm almost sure that like the entire mental health industry will change based on ideals that are like blooming and other like in other what the fuck was I just saying exactly ideas that are already springing up in in small circles. like they'll, you know, be one day. Like that's just valid, like nothing's really wrong with you. something's wrong with the world. Like, why? Like, and what can we do to change that? It could be environmental completely. It could take somebody with like severe mental health issues, severe schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder, severe fucking severe depression, severe anxiety and change their environmental factors or even just like change the fact that that like they're facing poverty, poverty is a mental illness and that's not what it's not looked at as such. It's looked at as a deficiency on the individual's part when it could be like and it could be a polethro of environmental factors. That'll change. It will in my lifetime. I know that it will. It may not be because of me because for the most part, I'm a pacifist. I really am. I'm a yoder, like, honestly, it has to be like visibly hurting someone else or hurting me painfully enough for me to be passionate about it to make it change. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not. I don't want I don't really want to be a leader, especially because like people are still like populating this planet. I don't necessarily I don't I don't wanna be like a a leader in anything because that is like that's too much power. Honestly, just let me play the music and then fuck off. And I will fuck off. Like if you think I talk too much or you find me annoying or you think I'm stupid like eventually I I disappear. That's it a self-reflective Go away, all right. I't have to be asked twice. I don't stay in places where I'm not welcome. So, New York it's been good. Are't not really. But somebody I thought okay, who else am I obsessed with? I love this new lady that I found. Her name is Gina something rather fucking amazing. I I love New York people because I love New York people. Like I really do. like it is well, it's hard to fucking there's a fucking oh, honestly, it could be simplified to this as like, okay, maybe this embraces like the new the New York feminine and what I really hate is the New York masculine, which is just toxic, just disgusting, like where I spinning on things, shut the fuck up, like, are you not self aware? Like it's it's certain level of and I'm not, I'm really not binary in the sense where it's like balanc, bro. like balance, like a little bit of everything is good and like half masculine, half feminine is like a good balance, non-binary embracing that. But like yo, dude, there's a certain rasculinity about the city that's the thing that makes it nasty. It was like, whoa. whoa. I'm like, that's nasty, but I was oh, okay, I'm in love with this person. Her name is like Gene or something rather. I'm still I still have like I no, I have no feet in the comedy pool cause like I realized I stopped performing comedy and I stopped writing it, and like all the like semi tragic possibility, like possibly hilarious situations that were happening to me when I was actively writing comedy just stopped. I was like good, I don't necessarily need to be in that right now. That's that has sailed and will probably later sink, but I don't want to be in there if like, okay, like you're funny, if like sad and bad shit happens to you all the time. I'm like, that's fucked up. I don't wanna be that guyc 50 years from now I could be that guy and like still not earn a penny more than I'm earning right now making music underground. So if it's if I had to choose between the two, I've already earned mastery in recording arts. 10,000 hours or more, like I don't necessarily like being a comic is like another ladder. It's another it's a thing. And honestly, when I stopped like, well, I mean, like I I took a break from tears of a clown because it became such a like passion project for me that I was like, oh, this is that I'm caring too much like I should stop. and still not finish and it's not it's not like, it never had a release date in mind, so it's not necessarily like what's it delayed? Yeah, it's not delayed, and it's not it's definitely not in hiatus, but like, I realized that I have a certain responsibility to my audience altogether. It like to do this show as well and so like this, there's been taking kind of a priority, knowing that like my hiatus has been longer than any other hiatus is, and that I owe it to like my homegrown audience and my weird coat following to like okay like I have to give you guys everything from fucking like November to now and just musically that's a lot but then I've also the writing has also accompanied it and so it would be a shame to just let that go entirely because I feel that like my actual, my actual fan base is here in this show, unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, because I've started to get like a sense of familiarity within the dance music scene, like, as a producer through this podcast as a medium, because when I started doing this podcast, like, it wasn't like people weren't generally like now people are doing like following my, what's it? format. Like people weren't really doing DJ mixes and like putting music on podcasts, like it just wasn't people weren't doing it. I was the only one doing it now everybody's doing it and it makes me want to do it less, but then also like I have to kind of show consistency with myself in order for me to feel like I'm still doing something. What was that rant about? I don't know. I'm obsessed with this lady name's Gina or something rather. She's super New York. What would she say? that I really liked? Oh, if you didn't know the rules before you got to New York, you you like if you came to New York and you're not having a good time, you probably didn't know the rules before you got here.rect. I didn't come here on purpose. This was my layover city. I came here by accident and I did not know the rules. Now I'm learning the rules and I'm like the rules are fucked up and rules are kind of meant to be broken if you're disturbing my peace, I will then disturb your peace. No, I will not. I do not believe an eye for an eye, and also I feel that you are dangerous people. I will then report you to the police and and make the proper documentation in order for it to stop. I'm a snitch. I don't give a fuck. Like if you're actually hurting me, like if you're changing my the way that I think and the way that I feel, like if you're making me sick inside of my own environment, like you deserve it. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give any kind of fuck. And then that way, I am a feminist, cause it's like, yo, dude, like how long are you gonna sit and take somebody hurting you before you actually realize that like you're not the problem they are and in order for their behavior to stop, you have to actually like you have to prevent this by stepping up for yourself. It's kind of like a show and like, okay, like like at a certain point it is kind of like a game. Like how long are you going to let me do this to you before you just fucking like get up and fucking hit me back? And I'm like, I don't want to like, I don't want to fight, but at the same time, like, bro, like I've been getting my ass whipped by these idiots and so I'm like, okay, I have to actually, but I'm still not a fighter. I have to do it in a way that makes sense and so that the community can be improved when I move on. Like I don't necessarily want to put somebody in the same place that I am now because I really am not I don't and just improve it. Like I believe so much in doing that, like not just leaving no trace, but like improving the place from which you are situated when you leave so that when the next person comes through, they don't have to struggle through the same hardship. So in that way, leadership, sure, be

[A beautiful dog enters the palace; C'esme't is pleased—actually, more thrilled.] Now! (Yo!) [The Dog sits at the entrance.] Call to me. [he speaks from the mind (telepathically) with a familiar tonal voice] Come, sweet stranger! [The Dog approaches] For it is I, the King who walks as not a ghost For yet the call has spoken that I be your loyal shadow (it's me; the King. I've been called to watch over you) Then? (Elaborate.) For now I came as waked dost I as ghost and wandered, pity and pardoned by no army dared Aghast my throne And agape my eyes, Wide my mouth and nostrils, Disemboweled and yet, I did wake with my fortune And tidings in my kingdom, a hidden realm, For there slayed, as I wept, The others dared to swallow, This truth, I, as knight and pawn doth slay the Queen, For titled King no friend of mine; And now, this beast as blood dost froth, My mind does waste, but here I bark Fortunate! To be laid by as you, I will. Then, creature, as you may! For free, this I, And coming not the time I shall l awaken, And then, though, Does the true challenge to bear, The altar; the stone, the shield and the rope From which I pull, and thee shall fight. Marriage of souls. To fancy this beast, betrayeth not. For something barks as is an end As a man does call a lover friend And so lover-friend I am and shall be. Lol what the fuck. So he's a dog now. ‍♀️ wtf is going on in this show. Idk. I'm baked. Enter The Multiverse L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny ‍♂️ Ascension: Enter the Multiverse The titles switched. Good idea. So maybe I should stick with t mobile? Idk. Mint mobile is 15 dollars a month for unlimited talk and text. HERE AND NOW I DECREE, THIS FEAST DOES NOURISH ALL OUR MINDS AND HEARTS TO FIGHT THE GOOD WAR AGAINST ALL HE WHO SQUANDER THE MERCY OF PEACE! TO COURAGE! lol you lost me. I'm grasping at strings here. I needs a means to an end I need a body bag, body bag I need a King and a dog And a cat and an owl And a mark and a dawn And a knife and a gun Call it what you want I was not at the rock But that's where I was going I'm lost in Omaha I was just on the dark With the dark and the walkers The king and the rabbit The facts and the stalkers But who sunk the boat? Who sunk the boat Now this is encouragement! Acknowledgements? Nothing yet. Disaster strikes obvious and No regrets But obvious I'm in it for the long run And it transpired for the job done But the waffles came out awful And crispier than I wanted Almost every time So I took the iron back to target And I know I came out with a double album in August But I got no promotions So I won't walk the carpet So I won't walk the carpet I know I know I'm no Joan Rivers Or Joan of ark so I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip Now, more followers Show boat, Throw him overboard into a rowboat With no paddles And horseshoes on em— That outta show ‘em Rondevouz Rob us all Noah's Ark Don't get so lost in the story Lost in the sory Lost in the LORNE MICHAELS …you caused this. [In a secret lab inside of 30 Rock, A group of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni are trapped inside a metal box; this room has no doors and no windows and seems to be amplifying thought frequencies each of them hears uniquely, but distinctly, and very, very loudly. This is due to the irrefutable fact that they are all gifted telepaths, due to having served time often looking into the lenses of live broadcast cameras. it is theorized that, because of this anomaly— a strange and untraceable signal seeming to intercept all of Rockefeller Plaza's Radio antennae transmissions, it may be an unknown extraterrestrial force attempting to comminicste with 30 Rock from space. On this day, they've been gathered and trapped here in an emergency focus group to attempt to remedy the problem. Haha. MAKE IT STOP. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THST, WHYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHY!!! Craters full of lullabies and dictionary definitions; Tense intimate interactions, and now, this hypertension. I have a secret, a dirty little secret. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! Hmm..okay–vouch. I'm telling you–wait– vouch? Yeah, I vouch. You're vouching me? I'm vouching you. She's vouching me. She vouched you. So i'm good? You're good. I'm good. You're good. Ok. SETH MEYERS is the best secret keeper in the entirety of the known and unknown multiverse. The respective deities and entities within the outer realms have taken notice to this; One of the world's greatest eve played game has become the ritualistic endeavor of tracking down this human in order to attempt to overwhelm him so that he might eventually crack or implode, or even acknowledge these sometimes outrageous events and otherworldly happenings; thus far, he has not. As of recently, the elders of the darkest deities from the furthest outer realms and legions of Hell have been taking this game with the now very famous and successful seth meyers, a popular TV host; this has elevated the e ntirety of the threshold for Seth's tolerance, and it appears he may soon be pushed to crack. So why are you on the wire? I atrophied at extravagant Tip toed in the tip ties; Til' then, i went there, Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Pull the curtain back, Then you censor this Censor this! I pull the curtain back, then redact then redact don't react don't react It's an act it's an act Shit I pull the curtain back then I bow; It's a show now Pull the curtain back then I show, It's a showdown Listen up, Listen down I super blow my flow now, super bowl my pronouns You can't lose if you don't pick a team You can't win if you don't even play I can't pay you if I don't get a paycheck I can't work at it if it's not fame Oh no! I can't work at it if it's not fame. The isms is the synthesis; I only got one present for christmas When you [can] Take that spark and bury it in your heart, don't remark about it– Then, probably you're a comic Or an alcoholic, one of the two of them Wrong not to touch, then Willed you back into existence And still it's in exigence, and Guilty by association Guilty by association I just want to know what the current Tonight Show budget is for hair dye. Also wondering why JImmy's suit is grey, but his hair isn't? Is that a two in one? Honest to God my only question about this man. The rest can remain as mystery. Act V Part II Guilty By Association Sometimes I Stevie Wonder what you're up to; I can't see you but I know you're in my aura Sometimes I Richard Pryor while you're on my mind; I guess you could say you set my soul on fire My, my my Look what time it is I've only just begun to know you; Then I had to dieSo turn the light off My eye Turn the light off for awhile And follow me to darkness Follow me To the other side. It's not true, but it'll do I might have lost you somewhere Better off to leave you somewhere sure; If it's not pure And how could it be When only the light hits the snow And bounces off The warmth is an illusion, And your love is just a dream And anyway, anyway There's nothing i've ever been surer of Than the definite end, The enter and exit And when planets align, Only to fall completely out of orbit Now what was this for again Foreigner, object identified and destroyed it's destructive qualities, Tentative in a nature Sure, pressure– Resentment, Intense good moments of pleasure, Then signals sent Completely by accident. -Now that i've been thinking lately of Bill Murray And my formerly imaginary friend Riff Raff, Now i'm sure that There may be some telepathy involved Which means I should probably just– Go somewhere else now. Should I be sorry for my thoughts? I'd rather not, But still YO. Yo dude, what the fuck. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE A YEAR. That's not that long… IT'S A LONG TIME TO BE IN A MOVIE. Please don't tear me to pieces; Don't blow the balloon up, No foul ball, No side eye No fowl play And dinner is as cold as it gets But dinner does warm In the aluminum foil, But all out of order, The border patrol is just Digging for details Digging for details. And it's this: You don't know what it is, Until you get into it, And it sets into you The only way it can When it's in you. Are you paying attention to this? Or can I just end it? Boston accents or what, And now i really think It's just inside my head It's just inside my head and This is getting weird. All of a sudden, I'm oh wonder and I love it And Sara Silverman has The prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen (on a celebrity) ((with whom I share a gender)) Aha. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter has a very pretty voice But that doesn't make me Any less jealous Or any less capable of explosion Disarm me I'm catching up on the specials I missed Being special I guess With no grocery subscription Aim low, Get high, I guess Rob Lowe, Build time, I guess I miss the old announcer, And the golden years I miss the former times And the mouse ears I learned my less I might got Kim K and TSwift Pointer Finger Could hold a tune to you, Who The joys of live theatre, And the catastrophe of the Impenetrable Boy oh boy is Television getting heavy Turn up the ridiculousness and Atrocious Atrocities and Acidophilus Anorexic, I wish i could digest this –and expand my vocabulary I wish I was better than I am So i could be Capable Can Kim Kardashian ever not just be Naturally beautiful at everything Doing everything Kim The J I can't sing in this apartment And it might actually kill me The devil lives next door on both sides I'm in a satan sandwich I guess I'm just Not free I must have fucked up last lifetime I must have fucked up last lifetime I might have looked just like her I want to get upstaged by Eddie Murphy More corpse suits! Pink lipstick! Slap the desk Check the camera Front loading! Front loading! I want a chance at humbling white america (just kidding) I want a wig that looks like an afro (cause I don't have one) I want Lorne Michaels to shame me into beng better By making me feel mediocre first So I hit the high bar When I hit the body bag I hit the body bag When I hit the high road With Letterman YOU STOLE MY BODY TO GO TO A BLACK TIE FUNCTION!? Yeah. Well–which one? Okay, you're gonna get a kick out of this. I'm giddy for physical comedy THIS IS MY MANIFEST DESTINY MY MANIFEST DESTINY AHHHHHHHH MY MANIFEST DESTINAAAAAAA Comedy comes in all forms And God comes in all Karma I brace myself for repeating my mantras I light candles But don't blow them out I just might get my wish DO NOT RESIST. I AM RESISTING THIS ARREST. Oh yeah. YES. Shoot him. NO, DON'T. SHOOT HIM, BILLY BOB, SHOOT ‘EM. Crocodile hunter turned hard-up cop Read him his rights! He ain't white enough. So she's perfect! Me? I've been taken in I can't stand to stamp I can't christmas, Backwards And backwash And sanford and sons And Whatever And… Ego might eat me like Eggos Like Hannibal Burress was holding At the market I left my Ego at the door But there's just no room for the both For the both of us I KNOW I'll just write her a hit show! What. YES. THEN, SHE'LL LEAVE SNL, AND THEN I'LL BE THE BLACK GIRL ON THE SHOW MWAAHAHAHAHAHA Ok. wtf happened to that girl? SUNNI BLU [kicking and screaming] I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ON FA– —-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So many beautiful people, or, rather The actors, Or should I say Vortex Then. Too many beautiful people I spent the whole night warm and holed up in the office What could come out of The Rock I don't know where to look I'm not used to the audience Duh, that. I'm a professional audience member But i don't remember the ending Anybody? Anybody? Any envy actor actress? BPM: Dosage Anxiety Remix Honestly fuck the comed circut I just want to know what it's like to have a body What's it like to have a body? I'm just a collective consciousness robot Adapting to my environment I can't sing in this apartment! I'm in a Satan Sandwich And would be The God in the middle If God didn't find this Absolutely hilarious So I'm on 24 hours; You're on Saturday Nights, But i'm on 24 I broke my Don't-look up-folks rule on Brittney Howard Cause I think i'm just like herBut more of a coward. You're on Saturday Night Live But i'm on 24 Hours It hurts longer And stronger Every moment I'm gone And still not a mom I wish I could change my eyes The color of the world Before it all ends Earth gone And oceans of mud No tide And no moon (The Earth without the Sun) I don't want to know you I don't want to owe you a lesson. I don't want to go there. I don't want no dance numbers. I don't want no GOATS here. No goats here. I don't get it, Mass Media– Is this flattery, or Deception? Humiliation? Based in perception, I see, so Is this recognition or Did I just send Dillon Francis my script in the beginning? No answer, by God. What an asshole What if Alienz Don't like lesbians. What is trance is just bad dance music. That's… What if edifice breaks for a daily regimen of Letterman? What if RUN, FALLON, RUN! I'M ATTACHED TO A KITE I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS. WELL, WHAT IS IT ATTACHED TO?! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! —NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, It's Meryl Streep! Holy shit, Meryl Streep is hot. What.(I can't keep secrets>) God doesn't keep good secrets. Just stop talking. Look, It's “My Bad Chad” Holyfuck Are you gonna have all those burned off too? Or can I do it for you? (might cost less) Jk Kim K That's a tough act to follow. Ariana? Nah, Backup; Had that. Meanwhile: Me in a hatchback Campin' at the Palisades. My name's the hammer –Adam ruins everything– I am not goin' starstruck –Adam Ruins Everything– My name's the Hammer (I'm a hammer, damn) –Adam Ruins Everything– I love showbiz But I got hard work comin on Now pause:: I need a break Need to make money Now i get a two for one Two for one Hate me or love me Either way, I'm gonna show up, Blow up, Glow up, And fuck off I'm a lost cause Cause I lost God On a talk show The way the camera moves makes me nauseous virtual reality And everybody's mad at me for Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy Conan “snowball” O'Brien But why's he called that. Shh! Not Yet. Oh, you are so overdone and fucked right now! Shh! My mom might be listening. Like she's never heard the word ‘fuck'? Shhhh! MOM I heard that! See! She said she heard it; she didn't say stop it. Well stop it. Fuck me man! SHH. KNOCK IT OFF. Yes Mrs. Mason Who the fuck is Mrs. Mason. Come on, white america; Put me on late night I promise you I'll watch more hallmark artists Than all of them Every day over here is a suit and tie function Camera one? YOU DONE FUCKED WITH US FOR THE LAST TIME. Ah shit. lol . whart is thrus. Fucking–magicians or something. Freemasons. F– Alright. Where is he? Where is who? You know who! What? Donaghey!!!!!!!! Lol Alec Baldin is like 200 years old. *cackles too hard, falls over and dies* Yikes. JACK DONAGHEY enters from a Parallel dimension and sees ALEC BALDWIN'S CORPSE. …Huh. Who's this handsome son of a bitch, I wonder. Don't wonder too hard. We gotta find that court order and get out of here. What court order [Cort hors d'oeuvres] what. I don't know. It almost kind of rhymed with corpse and wonder and I'm still stuck writing in cadences. What for! Oh wow, the neighbor was really a plant forreal. STOP SLAMMIN THAT Yo fuck this. Waht the fuck am I supposed to do with all this information. [appearing entirely out of nowhere, as always.] JIMMY FALLON I told you to burn it. OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. STOP DOING THAT. I can't. That's– Apparently what I do. WELL GET OUT OF HERE. Wish I could. Strapped to a kite. THEN HOW ARE YOU STANDING HERE? WHAT? I'm learning a lot of things up there! UP–WHERE! Up yours. WHAT. *poofs* UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate him. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I hate this. TINA FEY Fuckit, he hates himself. Lets just assume. No, that's it. That's the singularity. What. It can't– He's just so confi— That's the singularity. [everything ploofs back to normal] See. I win. FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I'M YOUNG AGAIN. i”M YOUNG AGAIN. [The entire cast stares at their returned to period-accurately aged cast mate; He appears so confident and wise, however–just a glint of insecurity falls over him–this indeed was the singularity; rather than to risk all of time and space defrabicating for a third and albeit final time, they rain down on their castmate, with the angry hellfire of a gregorian mob, urging him to GO LOVE YOURSELF. Long Night at work, or just Shoo fly, don't bother me– I'm more caught up on the Rudolph Storyline, How it's some mystic But I missed it With the lip stick And the vintage this and thats Person Welcome to Hogwarts, Of course, It's your funeral God bless the illuminati All I see is– NOT IT. IT WASN'T ME. I DIDN'T DO IT. JLO BITCH, STOP TALKING. Woah, What the FUCK JLO. JLO WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I–wh– Wait… Fallon? SHHHHThhHHHTHhhTHHHH!! Give me one bet Died inside Who's doing which thing God bless these envies! Gie me one shot Now who am I?Ace in the hole? I died inside. Don't break the barrier Don't run the wall Don't be the villain Fall, JImmy, Fall. To float, or to fall Or to walk away To shop at the mall Or to bet it all on Fall on And I tell you to jump, you jump! And I tell you to move, You move! And I tell you to movie, You movie! And I show you the blue OH GOD. Gimmie the binoculars! No, you don't wanna see What! Why not! HE MOONED ME. I got three of a kind Three of a kind Three of hearts Two of diamonds HAH. I DOn'T LiKE THIS. Fuck off, The Ace. And very kindly, Go fuck yourself. Four aces, Four aces A mindfuck for the both of us An open book And shotglasses And fans of ours Its good to laugh At the ones you love Love Love Love Love It's showbiz, It's showbiz; I love it I want to die. I love it I love it I missed the bar I fucked up somewhere. Don't look back in anger, Or don't look back at al. Fall, Fall, Fall Fall Fall Love Love Love Love Love Love Did you notice I haven't looked back. I put you up on a– Up on a Up on a pedestal Then remembered To forget it all, In indifference Foraged your signature Sorry, I don't want a lot of hawk-a-loogie clock-the-woman knockdown, dragout drama I got a feel for it. What if all your forfeitures were fortunes All your donuts turned subordinates To astronauts Or fake dreams for fak streams and dreaming of Don't bother me I'm on poverty I want walks on the beach and blue bunny ice cream sundaes I've got a whole city Marked off in my journal For frozen custard and Lost in a thought, are we? Trust me, I think I died. Trust me, I trusted the God of Mercy Trust me I went all the way to the burden, Bought a hammock And then worked harder than nobody No dropped calls from mother No one's home at all Work harder I thought Sweater Weather was my new DJ name, But as it turns out, It was my telepathy ringing me I rode to the top of the rock with the beatlesI didn't mean for it to be me But i was twice out of body, Once out of mind. Now give me a minute Please. Let me become indifferent Don't need no friends, Long roads Roundhouse kicks to the face Hard rolling baggage Heart shaped boxes Or Prophets Don't need dozens of roses don't need diamonds Do need dinosaursDo need phone numbers do Do do . –but don't– don't don't. When i fall in line I write books and poems, songs And suffer, slugger . This is what I struggled with– who paid the neighbor bitch to feed me the whole special And slam doors On my mental That shit struck a chord And rubbed me the wrong way But i'm humble I won't touch nobody's Body at all. Nobody's. Now my dreams make sense, kind of But why are these my dreams And not actual people and most of all What does it mean? That I'm equal to? Or lesser than? Like the emerald stone on Sir Paul McCartney's hand, I went green for a moment It's just banter.I'm just having a hard time (I can't sing in this apartment)I might need a band I might need a bandaid. I might need a bath Some peroxide and hair dye My heart's broken I'm having a hard time But still not struggling I might have a hard time But not as hard as the afterparty was, And I struck gold. Kept walking Roll dice. Four of a kind, Four kings, four aces Four of a kind, Four kites, And a night owl The Rock and the Kite, Part V STEFON It's this thing where… {Enter The Multiverse} –and that's why I wished my mom a happy birthday. [The Festival Project ™ ] Damn, the illuminati really showed out for the oscars this year. CONAN SHHHH. He even says “I Am” Then commands the stage Look at all those long legs Now we're on enclave or conclave? I don't know. I'm feeling more ravey. Tears of a Clown Nobody to save me Not even shug avery. Who? That's right? Now i'm feeling more Broadway, baby. L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny I wanna see the snake sitting next to you; Show me those eyes I love models and the lack thereof Inside of them I want to see the feral reptile Show me those eyesI love that she flies through life Right to you Right It's a boys club Boy they Really prize these Chappel Roans and Timothee Chalemet But where am I at? –Adam Ruins Everything– A couple forced fake laughs Cause I like highlights Stagecrafts Craftservices And god knows I can't write like this And I'm About To die [CONAN O'BRIEN leaves television to run a Bed and Breakfast in ORLANDO.] INT. BED AND BREAKFAST. ORLANDO. … [Calamity ensues] Conan killed the oscars, Stole the wand, The show and the bowtie (hostses with the mostest) –and that's why he's Snowball. No, i'm sure it's because my fur is fluffy and– Okay no more outdated rick and morty references Fine. Was that Dillon Francis behind Ben Stiller Or do I still just like white guys That much. Why do A-Listers like reptiles so much? Show me those eyes, you know I could use a good lunch (Birds of Prey eat snakes) {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ Episode Transcript: Yeah. Okay, this is terrifying. I haven't actually done this in it feels like way longer than it's been. In reality, it's only been like three like maybe three days, but it makes all the difference in the world. Hi. what's going on, I was just reminiscing about kitten mittens. Aw shit. I dropped my pen. If you remember if you're listening to this right now and you remember kittenman. congratulations, you've been with me since the beginning. um anyway, I don't know why I was just remembering that. kitten mittens. I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I really I might have been delirious. losing my mind at a certain point, but I thought kittens was the best thing in the world. It was at the time. I was like I couldn't think of anything better. Then again, I was uh I don't know, I was discovering many hilarities. excuse the idiots in the back, they are idiots. um and they and they do this based on whatever I'm doing in my apartment. I'm their god. Anyway. I'm excused the background noise is still gonna be a a little bit uh while we're dealing with that, but at least you can help me collectively consciously remove them from existence entirely, um with the help of you know a collective existence we can get rid of evil. I don't I don't entirely. I'm not sure. I think that it would take a lot of people to understand that like a lot of it is just a game. I think it would take raising the entire consciousness of like people as a whole for them to understand that like, most of it is for entertainment and based off perceptions. So, like, whatever you' idea for the world is, like it was your idea. Whatever's making you upset is it was your idea. So I'm kind of coming to like terms with that in my own, like sense. I'm like, oh, yeah, like, whatever is happening, I'm like a certain like at the surface level is wrong, but like on a grander scale, like I programmed this into my reality for whatever purpose in order to better suit my, like ideal reality. That's, you know, that's that's it. I can't attribute it to anything else. They're idiots, cause I'm idiots. Anyway, what else is going on? I don't know, I was I'm gonna try and do this off book. I think I do have like I have some notes, but like I don't like the way that it feels when I'm going off of my notebook because it feels like robotic. It feels really, you know, like and not necessarily rehearsed, but it's it feels planned and when I listen back to the episodes where I do go off of like notes or something like that, I don't like the way that it sounds. Hearing myself back, going from a going going from like a script. And so I try to keep it like 100% improvisational and it keeps it fresh. and honestly, honesty goodness, I haven't been on the Peloton for like more than 15 minutes at a time since I stopped doing these episodes. I don't know what it is about the sound of my own voice, but maybe it's the fact that like, I'm in performance mode and I'm giving you guys like I'm in, you know, I'm like in my radio voice and then I'm watching back like a performance of myself in order to like, I don't know. It's like it's like experiencing myself for the first time secondhandedly because I'm not necessarily not thinking about what I'm saying, but I'm also not thinking about what what I'm saying or how I'm saying it as I'm saying it. And then, you know, sometimes I just really like even on my hardest days, sometimes I make myself laugh the very most, and I'm like, okay, there's another reason to keep doing it. Because for the most part, I'm like I don't wanna do this anymore, it costs me too much money and it's not. Like, I'm not a clut person. I'm just not a clout guy. I don't like doing stuff for clout, cause clout doesn't pay the bills and clout doesn't clout doesn't necessarily get you jobs, like unless it's like the right person's clout. Like, you get have clout from a million people, and if none of those million people are the well, a million is kind of where they drive line. Like if a million people are like, yeah, this is the shit, then it might get you a job. But like a million is probably the minimum number for that. Like if you don't have a million followers or you don't have a million views or you don't have a million of anything of just like clout like it doesn't pay bills. So I'm not a cloud person. I'm not just gonna do whatever off clout. What did I get off that on that clot rat for? I don't know, what was I saying? Oh, I'm going off book. I'm off. script. Anyway. what can I remember from things that I wrote down?, I don't know. I've been reading a lot. I've been, you know, doing doing the best that I can. I've been well, I've been reading. I've been reading children's books specifically because I'm finding information. Well, first of all, I picked up these children's books with the hope that I would be the owner of a small library and I'm not. I'm actually putting a lot of the books back into like society, which is fine. I'm just downsizing. It's actually helping me feel a lot better. Like my head is a lot clearer, my studio. My studio for for the first time in a long time was like a place that I can that I feel like I want to work. and it was the weirdest thing because I went through like a year of just like collecting whatever book I saw, like whether it was just like on a stoop, like I, you know, for whatever or out of the little free library or like just wherever, because books are everywhere in New York and that's probably my favorite thing hands down about New York is that like wherever you go there are books and they're free and you can pick them up. But I'm also very sensitive to energy, so as like an energy worker and a transmuter, it became congested to the point where it's like, okay, there is like a certain type of energy that's not that's foreign to me and as much cleansing and as much like, you know, whatever, as much, you know, in any kind of, you know, like spiritual work I was doing, there's an energy here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with. And I realized every time I picked up a book, I fell into like a certain type of world, you know, and it wasn't just like whether the book caught my attention from just like the cover or whatever, and then I decided to flip through it or whether it was like a book that I was stuck in, I was falling until like a certain energy or a certain world and that every book had a certain energy to it. And so I realized after a year of collecting hundreds of books that I had literally hundreds of energies, like floating through my space and it became like hectic and it became heavy to the point where I was like, like, I don't necessarily want to hold on to all these things. and so it's it's been really rejuvenating. I've been going through a time of just like not necessarily like I know I have a lot of stuff to do. but one of the stuff to do is is like going through all of the things that I know that I need to like let go of in order to feel better. And it has been helping me feel better. It has for the most part, I'm still doing a lot with like my energy recovery and the noise here has a lot to do with it. I'm now like I now have anxiety to the point where I have like a consistent nauseum. like every time I hear like any kind of motor, like I get sick and now it's it's actually getting worse the longer that I've stayed here with the noise, it's like I now have like an upset stomach all the time, headaches twitches. It's the it's the most fucked up thing ever. and I've also been learning more about because I'm, you know, still still really focused in my music and so frequencies and, you know, like I've always been like a huge believer and like layered frequencies for healing, like sound healing, beta thick alpha, and and the whatnot, but I finally caught onto a piece of information that made me realize how the noise outside has affected my brain chemistry and not just in the way that it's like it's annoying or it's a nuisance or it's harassment, which it is all of those things, according to the law, but in a sense of what's happening to my brain chemically, like the chemical changes that are happening in my brain, or the frequency changes that are happening in my brain are actually the things that are making me more upset than loss of sleep, or, you know, like a disruption or disorganization of my mind or my daily habits. The thing that's making me the most upset is what I'm realizing is it's changing my frequency, and I'm not talking about just my my aura I well, I am in a sense, but like the frequency, the frequency differences that that your brain your brain goes into different frequencies during, you know, waking state, alha state, better state, you know, and when you're sleeping, you're in um I well, it depends on the person actually, and it depends on the type of sleep that you're getting. Like most people sleep and like a data state from what I'm understanding and this is the state of like conscious dreaming. And this is this, I could be incorrect because honestly, I layer them anyway. And I finally I finally did it. I I did. I' I was working on a song and I realized that I achieved like perfect theta without actually even meaning to. And I think I did another one and that was like in perfect gamma without even like it was just mixed perfectly. that it I was also listening to like a gamatone and then I realized I was like, wait, is that the song or is it the tone? Because, you know, if the if the frequency that you're listening to is pure enough, it will actually distort the bass or the, you know, it will distort the entire sound of whatever you're listening to. So sometimes things can sound warped or like they're waving or like they're going through something because those tones are kind of like they're they're moving against each other or with each other just kind of depends. And so what what has been, well, I wanted to finish, well, yeah, I think I have at least one song now that's in theta, and I have at least one song that's in gamma, completely. and and I and I shocked myself because I was listening to the tones and I was like, wait, the wait a second. like, I'm feeling like double here. Is this this song that I'm listening to, that I'm checking back the mix, or is this the the frequencies? And I I turned off all the frequencies and sure enough, it was the song. It was like a pure I was like, wow. I'm like that's an achievement. I did it completely by accident and I wish I knew the formula that I used to do that.c some people are so mathematic about it. Like some people are so uh like, you know, some people do this to their music. A lot of people, especially inass music, that's why it is the way that it is, is you're going to a show to get these frequencies like zapped into your body at at full forces. and some people know how to do it on purpose. I did it on accident, so I'm like, if I can continue to achieve at this but I'm trying to figure out like the mathematical equation or like the actual sonic equation for making this happen, like every time, because going through my history ofass music, I will finish in a second, going through my history of bass music, I have always gravitated to the to these frequencies, to the frequencies that make me feel better after a certain amount of time listening to them or a certain amount of time being in in that frequency. So that's this is the music that has, I guess subconsciously kind of for the kind of artist that I am. But this is the reason why I'm upset about the noise. like the most upset about it, like not even on a legal level, on a social level, on a moral level, like, no, this is actually morally wrong, it is morally wrong on so many fucking levels. I'm like, why are you so like, why obviously I did this on purpose, like in my God complex, I'm like, oh, well, I can better the community as long as I make a point, like that environmentally, this is damaging people. It's giving people mental illness, that it or like if they're predisposed to mental illness, it's even worse, but it's it's also like causing mental illness and people that are otherwise healthy people, which is not a lot of people in New York City given. It's just not. It's not a healthy place. A lot of people are not healthy. But even in like moderately healthy humans, this noise disruption can cause like brain changes and chemistry changes, and this is the reason why I'm so upset is because when you are sleeping, if you are sleeping, your brain is in a certain level that is like in a healing state. In the first few minutes that you wake up, as I understand it. In the first few minutes after you wake up, your brain is in a state that it can like that you can manipulate your entire environment, that you can change things, that you can heal yourself. And so when I'm waking up in the first few minutes in the very first thing that I hear is a motorcycle that's ripping through my fucking brain, it's changing my brain frequency from a frequency that is like at the at the at a human level or at any kind of level, kind of the the thing that makes every human capable of being a genius, not the genius level able to heal yourself and the frequency that you're able to heal yourself is what you automatically wake up in. So when you' when this frequency is interrupted, it's intercepted in immediately into a negative thought pattern. And so you immediately, so what's happening, what's been happening to me over the last year with the motorcycle nuisance harassment problem or whatever the fuck I don't care what it's called on paper. I just want it to stop like I just want to live in peace. It's not like and kind of having like coming from a a background where I kind of tend to have like take responsibility for myself, like oh, it must be something that I'm doing and yes, I also have like a higher god complex or like an ego if you want to call it, that's like, oh no, I must have done this on purpose. And you know, like in order for the greater good, like in order to fulfill my purpose in some sort of way, it must be it must be part of my process to have this. That's also my ego like I'm a god. like, you know, that's just me, that's the generation. That's the generation that I come from. That's our mindset. Like nothing happens in this world without me in it, period. That's why rappers are rappers and that's why that's why models are models. We all have egos and it's really hard to kill the bitch. I've had at least ten ego dusts throughout my fucking like existence and it still comes back. It doesn't matter. You can have an ego death and be like a completely ego list for like what, six months tops? Eventually you're gonna have like the ego is is is imp important to survival, because I lost the word. I think implemental what was I gonna use? I was definitely a for syllable word. Either way, it is you need it. Like if you if you oh, you know, people might describe people, like being in like a in a sense of humility as like, oh, just completely without ego, but like at the end of the day, like, no, like your ego allows you to actually like compensate with the rest of the world, like, most people do not have no ego entirely, or at least for like, like a week after your acid tri or whatever, yeah, like, oh, had ego death and I completely. But like within I swear to God, like within six months time, like your ego has at least minimally like repaired itself. That's what an ego does, that's why you have it. You have it. It's a survival. It's it's a part of your consciousness that has to do with survival if you don't have your ego, like you're pretty much dead in the world, especially the way it is now. Anyway, this is that that's going to probably close up my spiel on that. Yeah, I'm upset because instead of like the first few moments of my waking moments being a healing, time, it is immediately going into disarray and chaos and anxiety. And so in in so I'm losing like, I don't I don't really care about oh, I mean, like I care about life in a sense, but I mean, like, and it in a mortal sense. I like, yes, it's taking years off of me. and I feel it like in the way that it's like, I I am slower to do regular things or like, whatever my rising thoughts, might be are completely just destroyed by this like what I've what I've come to perceive is like an evil force. It is evil in so many levels again this breaks down from like a higher consciousness to like a lower state of consciousness. The lower state of consciousness is saying that like these people are just idiots. They're idiots and they are not self aware of the fucking like pollution that they're doing on kind of middle sense, I'm like, oh, it's politics, it's like gentrification if these guys run around in circles, then people call up the fucking place, the place gets fucking more allocated funds to their fucking police officers, the police officers have fucking filling their quotas. It's all bureaucracy and paperwork and politics on that middle level and on the highest level it is like no, this is evil, it's pure evil because people are so grossed out by the fact that fucking New York is New York and also the wage and income and quality factor is that this guy is doing whatever the fuck he has to do brown. He's doing well, not that guy. that guy's that guy's a weak dick motherfucker. He has a small dick and everybody in the neighborhood knows it. He drives around and circle making people miserable. He also I'm it's the same dude. that same dude followed me to the Trader Joe's. It's the same dude, so I'm like, I like I know the sound of his bike from anything, so I definitely know when I'm at the Trader Joe's and then he's like all of a sudden traffic like, I'm like yo dude like why the fuck you following me to Trader Joe's like I live four miles away, which is not that far on the fucking motorcycle, but I came all the way over here on the subway for you to follow me on your bike. week, dick, bro.way, like, fuck this, fuck this, fuck that guy, fuck this neighborhood, fuck this place, fuck these politics, fuck these people. On a low frequency. Like on a low frequency, I'm like, fuck all this, like on a high frequency, I'm like, there's a purpose or whatever, it'll work, is temporary, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I what the fuck was I ranting? I don't know. I that's that shiel, right? Trader Joe, hello Trader Joe. It's not safe. No, but you know, oh man, let's you say I, whatever. Let's just say oh, whatever. a lot. What else do we got? I don't know. I put on an album that came out today, yay, it's called all the rage. Actually, all that all that gripe about like, oh, it's an EP when I'm sure that the stores are gonna call it an album. I was like, I'm sure it's gonna be an album, so I just started calling it an album. like the release comes out and they're like, it's an EP, you congratulations. So I I thought I was putting out an album, that I was an EP, but it just missed the cutoff her album, because technically you can have a six track album and if it's over 30 minutes. If and you can have a six track album that's an EP like this, all the range is technically an EP at least according to Spotify's standards. And it's, I think it's like two and a half minutes under I think it's like 2 and a half minutes under, so it's an EP, but it's six tracks and I'm really excited about it. I kind of put a little bit more promotion into it than usual. I even had some press done, and that's great. because you can get pressed done. They're like,Yo, for $500. You'll be famous tomorrow. I'm like, that fucked up. That's a paycheck for some people. and that's not famous. also. They're charging people to be like spectacular. Well, they're charging they're like charging for people to be like popular, which is I think it's wrong, like ethically, you shouldn't be able to do that, like, oh, no, you're gonna get on all the playlists and whatever, you're gonna have like all like you should not be able to sell followers, like whether they're real people, which is slavery or they're robots, which is also slavery. Like you should not be able to sell fame that's making it like now I don't even trust like, okay, like this person got an award, but like, okay, because because the album was popular, because it was better than all the other ones. Or like, how do you know that you even heard all the albums because there are so many, and that like, okay, this person who put like zero dollars into promotion, how do you know that album wasn't better? because you didn't hear it? Because the person with a million dollar ad campaign won the fucking won the fucking award? Because you heard it because they put a million dollars into the fucking promotions. So it makes it makes everything the fact that everything is on a level system that's based on money is completely unfair. Like the all the industries are broken, it's not just music. Like, it's not just music. I'm like, holy shit, like you could spend like a year, an average year salary, which is what's the median income now. even with like no adjustment for inflation, like what, $50,000? Okay. So you could spend $50,000 on your your career so you'd have to you'd have to do that. That's even you're still competing with people who have a million dollars for doing nothing. That's insane. Anyway, I'm not bitter. What the fuck did I do earlier that I wasn't that literally the spirit that was like, don't be salty. I was like, oh, I was like,Yo, stop teaching models to fucking DJ, because I I happened on this girl that was like, yo, like I actually liked some of her music. I liked some of her music, but she wasn't doing much. And like everything was just fake. It was like super duper fake, but she was mad gorgeous and like more of these girls are popping up out of nowhere that are like not they're like models that are barely touching the decks and they're like a march. I'm like yo, dude, if that girl made this music like okay, maybe I should see her, but like, I'm like no somebody goes produce this because like she's moving badly in time to it and I realized something about being a producer is like yo if you spent enough time actually crafting this like this piece, you're not gonna move like badly to it like you're not going to move weird to music that you made because it's in you like it came from in your body. So like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at and I'm like, oh, I'm looking at propaganda. But then like, isn't that just kind of like discouraging people who don't have that type of body type or mindset, but it was funny because the algorithm was like don't be salty. It was like DJing is for everybody and if that's your passion and I'm like yeah, if that's your passion, but like, yo, when what where is the line between like propaganda and passion? Like, oh, I'm already a successful like, multimillionaire fashion model, but like I'm gonna be a DJ, like it washes out all the people who have actually like put in the work. It washes out all the people who have actually put in the work. Don't be salty. I was like fine, fine, but only because I like that algorithm. Only because I like that algorithm. I'm like fine, okay, we'll we'll be whatever. Whatever I've been reading. Oh, I read a book, let's see, let's see if I can remember the ones I already put back. I've been reading these uh this like children's book series on like famous people because I realized that they're written for children and I'm like, yo, dude, like somebody could read this whole series in the second grade and be smarter than me because I didn't know anything about the people that I'm reading about at all. And so they're like these little biographies. Well, I mean, they they're on a child's level. I don't know how long it would take a child to read, but they take me like an hour, hour and a half to read just like at a normal speed. And I read really fast. But I think the reason why from taking me so long to read them is because I actually take like a lot of I take a lot of like, I don't know, words or art to me, so if something is like especially musical, I might take it and be like that's a good song title. Like, if I think enough about this and what I know about this, like what kind of song is it? And, you know, just like little fun facts. Like first of all, I'm obsessed with George Lucas. I've never been a huge Star Wars person, just and I I realizing this. I've never been being on like Star Wars wicked. like, I've never been being on things that are like really, really big, but then I did grow up and kind of like a sheltered shut community where like most of the people like twilight, I wasn't hungerames, aylys Cyrus, well Hannah Montana at the time, okay? I just wasn't into those things, but most mostly because they're fans, actually, she just put out something that I kind of piqued my interest. It was in my fucking sl side bar. I was like, oh, no, what's this? I'm I might check it out. But I've been staying off the mainstream just cause I'm realizing like the reason that I'm seeing this is money and doesn't necessarily make it better or worse than anybody else. Because sometimes mainstream artists come out with crap and I think they do it on purpose, they're like,Yo, watch this. I can do whatever because so many millions of people love me, watch this. I'm like, damn. And then millions of people are like, yay, yes, yes, this. I'm like, the fuck? What did you do? And I'm pretty sure the mainstream artist is like consciously, even collectively like, you see what I'm saying? I can do whatever the fuck.c I did one thing cool, maybe like five things cool, like a long time ago, and literally don't have to do anything else. I just do this just to prove a poil. Like, I can shit on a track, literally. And millions of people will be like, I love you. I love you, please more of those. do it again. I'm like, oh, God, please, no. What the fuck? Millions of fans. Like once you have your fucking fan based unlock, like that's it. Like, you don't have to fucking people will be like, literally kissing at all of the ground that you touch for the rest of forever forever. That's it. I'm realizing that about fantom, so I'm like, yo, if you know what kitten mittens are. I'd still don't, but if you if you know kitten mittens, congrats, you're one of 12 people who actually like me. one of 12. I'm like 12 is enough. That's what Jesus had, right? might as well and Jesus technically have like 11 I don't know why I like that guy so much. I'm pretty much obsessed with him, too. I love Jesus. I'm like, Jesus is the god kind of I mean, like he's technically like three gods. anyway, why am I obsessed with uh George Lucas? First of all, he's one of the coolest people ever, Kate, like, okay, first he was a greaser, like a real greaser. like from the movie Grease, but like the actual thing before the movie Grease, cause if I if I'm not mistaken, he was like a greaser before they made Grease. That's crazy. Yeah, because Gre was like in the 70s, but it was about the 50s, right? I don't know. He was like an actual real life, like they just put Vaseline, I guess in their hair and wore like dirty shit and they were like, yeaheah, greaser. and they w and they fucking drove and they drove, what did they drive? I don't know, cars, old cars, and they would race them. I that was honestly I'm obsessed with this dude. I and now I kind of want to see Star Wars because I've never seen them. But honestly Star Wars is one of those things that, oh, that's what I was saying. God, yeah, well, yeah, I like grew up not liking Star Wars because all the people that liked it were mean. Like all those other things I named earlier in the episode. Like they're fans sucked, so I was like, I definitely cannot see myself getting into this. And so I never did, but now I'm well, as happy as I am being single. I save certain things for like just a case. I ever get in a relationship. I'm like Star Wars. I've never seen that. Like I saved certain things for like you know, like I wouldn't necessarily want to watch it by myself. I think I'd get geeked, though, now, now that I understand, like the kind of person that created Star Wars, I'm like, yo, dude, like he's the shit. Like, okay, first of all, okay, if I did the math, secondly, no, cause the first of all thing was like, he's a greaser. That's the coolest thing about George Lucas. Yeah. I mean, like I mean, like there was so many cool things. I had to take notes, I had to stop. I was like bending back pages, I was like, all this dude's the best. Okay. I was like,Yo, okay, whatever. Like, uh, oh, well, that was one of the last things I read. If I did the math right, this dude has like a 12 year old. He's older than my dad. My dad's pushing 80. I'm like, is he 80? He's like 80 with a 12 year old. That's incredible. That's I have so much respected admiration for that. Because it kind of proves my point that like if you're dude, you can just like keep on popping them out, popping them out. But he also like adopted kids, I think. Yeah, yeah. And he also like adopted kids. was at him? Yeah. Yo, I'm telling you there's so much practice into these little books. I'm like, okay, whatever, what else is cool. I don't know, he just seems he just seems like the dude just seems like the dude. I was likeYo. I I can't remember all the notes I took, but those those two things alone. I'm like, yeah, I earn my respect. I did write down a quote earlier that was like, what did he used to say? oh, do that again but better? I'm like, yeah, that sounds that sounds accurate. And then I liked the fact that like all his worlds within his worlds are like connected, so he'll leave Easter eggs within worlds of different Indiana Smith. He really liked the name Indiana because I guess he had a dog named Indiana, which was named after somebody else that was named Indiana. And I had no idea that Indiana Jones was like his brainchild or like close to it. I was like, whoa, this dudees are fucking legend, like a real like an actual, like this dude's a G for George Lucas. He's the best. I was like, yeah, dude. I could not put that book down. I was like sitting in cold bathtub water like, oh my God, this is such a pain turner. I gotta read about this dude until the very end of this book and I did. I would not put it down. I was like, George Lucas is the man, bro. like the man, I don't like like, yo, cool dude. I like that guy. I've never seen Star Wars. I have, I've seen like the beginning. It's like in the time, blah, fucking blah, blah, fucking talk. Yeah, and then I started writing my own movies, you know. It's not that any of them, you know, as whatever, you know, sometimes it's circumstance, sometimes sometimes I' just realize that I make excuses. Like I have no reason not to be as successful as any of these people that I'm reading about, because I'm finding personality traits about myself as I'm reading about them, like Albert Einstein Total Duis. He might have been like like functionally retarded. I'm pretty sure he was retarded, but also a genius. Like like, oh, okay, this is the coolest thing about Albert Einstein are we done inukas never, never. He's immortal, right? We'll see him at some point. He's so cool. He's so cool anyway. I was like, yeah, dude, this dude is cool. But there's that's the Alb Einstein, my man, okay, so like, slowly almost solely responsible for the invention of the Adamah. That's dope. On accident, though, because once he realized what had like once he realized that, okay, like, okay, I'm correct about this. For sure, I'm definitely correct about this, but like, yo okay, should we back up a little bit? First of all, he didn't say anything until he was like four. Didn't say anything, not a not a single word, his parents were like,o, something's wrong with him. Like even back in the day where it's like, uh don't know. Something's wrong with him. He's not saying anything. The doctors were like, he's perfectly fine.'s fine. And he didn't say anything his entire life until one day, apparently, he sat down to dinner with his parents and the soup was too hot, and that's what he said he's like the soup is too hot. Like, could you imagine, like having a kid that you're like 100% sure is retarded? Oops, nope, you can't say that. Okay, well, you could. Then so let's just shouldn't I just cancel you can't say that. Why, though? Like, okay, when I was growing up, you have to understand I come from a time where it was like you could just call that to somebody cause they were being dumb, but not dumb, right? But I mean like at a certain point, like, okay, technically Helen Keller was deaf dumb and blind, but like sometime and I'm assuming like between the 70s and 80s, it became a slang for like that's dumb. Like, don't do that because whatever you're doing is not right, which is like, okay if you're not right, then you're what? Retarded. Like, I'm sorry. I'm like some certain things are not going to be like, I'm, you know. I'm like early 2000s game or culture, that's gay, but I love gay. It's like nobody's being derogatory about that. I'm being derogatory about your behavior and I might even use it as like a positive you know what's what describing words or adjectives? I don't know. I'm going through. I'm going to processes realizing that like, okay, I'm at the age where certain information is gonna be offloaded. Certain like it's not coming back ever. Like, you like, I I know Spanish, but only if I have to speak it and it's not like, I'm not developing any other nothing else is like my brain is like, we don't need this, do we? I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should hold on to that. No, no, we don't need this. I'm like, okay, well. there are certain things about me that are just not gonna change at this point. I'm not sorry, because honestly, weren't too offended at everything when, like, there're there are things that are offensive that nobody really is offended about. like, if you really found an offensive, it would not exist anymore, you know? Because when somebody becomes really passionate about something, and they change it. Which is why I'm taking my time. I like, youo, annihilation is imminent. Like this cannot be anymore. Like, you don't change my brain chemistry. Fuck that shit. my brain chemistry is perfect the way that it is. Like I'm almost sure that like the entire mental health industry will change based on ideals that are like blooming and other like in other what the fuck was I just saying exactly ideas that are already springing up in in small circles. like they'll, you know, be one day. Like that's just valid, like nothing's really wrong with you. something's wrong with the world. Like, why? Like, and what can we do to change that? It could be environmental completely. It could take somebody with like severe mental health issues, severe schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder, severe fucking severe depression, severe anxiety and change their environmental factors or even just like change the fact that that like they're facing poverty, poverty is a mental illness and that's not what it's not looked at as such. It's looked at as a deficiency on the individual's part when it could be like and it could be a polethro of environmental factors. That'll change. It will in my lifetime. I know that it will. It may not be because of me because for the most part, I'm a pacifist. I really am. I'm a yoder, like, honestly, it has to be like visibly hurting someone else or hurting me painfully enough for me to be passionate about it to make it change. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not. I don't want I don't really want to be a leader, especially because like people are still like populating this planet. I don't necessarily I don't I don't wanna be like a a leader in anything because that is like that's too much power. Honestly, just let me play the music and then fuck off. And I will fuck off. Like if you think I talk too much or you find me annoying or you think I'm stupid like eventually I I disappear. That's it a self-reflective Go away, all right. I't have to be asked twice. I don't stay in places where I'm not welcome. So, New York it's been good. Are't not really. But somebody I thought okay, who else am I obsessed with? I love this new lady that I found. Her name is Gina something rather fucking amazing. I I love New York people because I love New York people. Like I really do. like it is well, it's hard to fucking there's a fucking oh, honestly, it could be simplified to this as like, okay, maybe this embraces like the new the New York feminine and what I really hate is the New York masculine, which is just toxic, just disgusting, like where I spinning on things, shut the fuck up, like, are you not self aware? Like it's it's certain level of and I'm not, I'm really not binary in the sense where it's like balanc, bro. like balance, like a little bit of everything is good and like half masculine, half feminine is like a good balance, non-binary embracing that. But like yo, dude, there's a certain rasculinity about the city that's the thing that makes it nasty. It was like, whoa. whoa. I'm like, that's nasty, but I was oh, okay, I'm in love with this person. Her name is like Gene or something rather. I'm still I still have like I no, I have no feet in the comedy pool cause like I realized I stopped performing comedy and I stopped writing it, and like all the like semi tragic possibility, like possibly hilarious situations that were happening to me when I was actively writing comedy just stopped. I was like good, I don't necessarily need to be in that right now. That's that has sailed and will probably later sink, but I don't want to be in there if like, okay, like you're funny, if like sad and bad shit happens to you all the time. I'm like, that's fucked up. I don't wanna be that guyc 50 years from now I could be that guy and like still not earn a penny more than I'm earning right now making music underground. So if it's if I had to choose between the two, I've already earned mastery in recording arts. 10,000 hours or more, like I don't necessarily like being a comic is like another ladder. It's another it's a thing. And honestly, when I stopped like, well, I mean, like I I took a break from tears of a clown because it became such a like passion project for me that I was like, oh, this is that I'm caring too much like I should stop. and still not finish and it's not it's not like, it never had a release date in mind, so it's not necessarily like what's it delayed? Yeah, it's not delayed, and it's not it's definitely not in hiatus, but like, I realized that I have a certain responsibility to my audience altogether. It like to do this show as well and so like this, there's been taking kind of a priority, knowing that like my hiatus has been longer than any other hiatus is, and that I owe it to like my homegrown audience and my weird coat following to like okay like I have to give you guys everything from fucking like November to now and just musically that's a lot but then I've also the writing has also accompanied it and so it would be a shame to just let that go entirely because I feel that like my actual, my actual fan base is here in this show, unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, because I've started to get like a sense of familiarity within the dance music scene, like, as a producer through this podcast as a medium, because when I started doing this podcast, like, it wasn't like people weren't generally like now people are doing like following my, what's it? format. Like people weren't really doing DJ mixes and like putting music on podcasts, like it just wasn't people weren't doing it. I was the only one doing it now everybody's doing it and it makes me want to do it less, but then also like I have to kind of show consistency with myself in order for me to feel like I'm still doing something. What was that rant about? I don't know. I'm obsessed with this lady name's Gina or something rather. She's super New York. What would she say? that I really liked? Oh, if you didn't know the rules before you got to New York, you you like if you came to New York and you're not having a good time, you probably didn't know the rules before you got here.rect. I didn't come here on purpose. This was my layover city. I came here by accident and I did not know the rules. Now I'm learning the rules and I'm like the rules are fucked up and rules are kind of meant to be broken if you're disturbing my peace, I will then disturb your peace. No, I will not. I do not believe an eye for an eye, and also I feel that you are dangerous people. I will then report you to the police and and make the proper documentation in order for it to stop. I'm a snitch. I don't give a fuck. Like if you're actually hurting me, like if you're changing my the way that I think and the way that I feel, like if you're making me sick inside of my own environment, like you deserve it. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give any kind of fuck. And then that way, I am a feminist, cause it's like, yo, dude, like how long are you gonna sit and take somebody hurting you before you actually realize that like you're not the problem they are and in order for their behavior to stop, you have to actually like you have to prevent this by stepping up for yourself. It's kind of like a show and like, okay, like like at a certain point it is kind of like a game. Like how long are you going to let me do this to you before you just fucking like get up and fucking hit me back? And I'm like, I don't want to like, I don't want to fight, but at the same time, like, bro, like I've been getting my ass whipped by these idiots and so I'm like, okay, I have to actually, but I'm still not a fighter. I have to do it in a way that makes sense and so that the community can be improved when I move on. Like I don't necessarily want to put somebody in the same place that I am now because I really am not I don't and just improve it. Like I believe so much in doing that, like not just leaving no trace, but like improving the place from which you are situated when you leave so that when the next person comes through, they don't have to struggle through the same hardship. So in that way, leadership, sure, be

It's not about planting flags anymore. It's about profitability.As the cannabis industry shifts from rapid growth at all costs to operational precision, hard decisions are being made.Which assets are sized properly? Where can we build a well-rounded, potentially profitable business given the realities of today's market? And how do we make the right calls for our teams while positioning for the world we're actually in—not the one we hoped for?Ayr Wellness is deep into this approach, actively sizing its business for today's environmentThis week we sit down with George DeNardo, President of Ayr Wellness, to discuss how Ayr is redefining success in cannabis:The shift from expansion to optimization: why less is moreData-driven decisions and automation tools Ayr is betting onWhy Ayr is still growing in Florida—and not waiting on the feds Chapters00:00 Introduction to George DiNardo and AYR Wellness03:05 Transitioning to President of AYR Wellness05:55 Operational Efficiency and Integration Challenges09:05 Data-Driven Decision Making in Cannabis11:57 Technology Adoption and Automation in Cannabis14:52 Balancing Investment in Technology and Operational Needs18:01 Facility Consolidation and Strategic Growth20:56 Future Plans for Expansion in Florida23:58 Navigating Florida's Cannabis Market Dynamics26:11 Quality Control and Brand Strategy in Cannabis28:16 Data Management and Crop Planning Efficiency30:35 The Importance of Internal Communication and Reporting33:10 Operational Challenges and Market Adaptation36:30 Leadership and Team Engagement in Cannabis38:31 Advice for New Entrepreneurs in the Cannabis Space40:45 The Value of Time Over Material Gifts42:43 Future Outlook for the Cannabis IndustryGuest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgedenardo/http://www.ayrwellness.comhttps://x.com/AyrWellnesshttps://www.linkedin.com/company/ayr-wellness-inc/Our Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Shhhh, we're talking about the quietest issue that has made the most noise of all the G.I. Joe issues... #21 The Silent Issue! Specifically, my guest Josh Eggebeen has authored the Unofficial Companion to that classic comic book, where he had detailed every single known version and variant of that book, all the homage covers, and the history of publication! I also reveal the winners of our After Action Report contest! Listen to find out who won! Subscribe to the Joe on Joe Podcast! www.joeonjoe.com Apple Podcasts PodBean YouTube Help Support the Show thru Patreon! @JoeonJoepod on  Twitter Facebook Instagram Email Me Here!    

Send us a textThis episode was such a hit, we had to bring it back! If you're still whining, “I don't wanna make dinner,” consider this your official wake-up call to get your ass in the kitchen.Brigitte Gemme, author of Flow in the Kitchen, is here to help you actually enjoy cooking. From improving your health to creating intimacy (oooh-la-la) to finding real satisfaction in making meals, she's proving that cooking isn't as bad as you think.And no, it's not rocket science. Brigitte says you only need to master five staple dishes to cook just about anything. With her best tips, tricks, and recipes, you'll be set.So, throw on your apron like a marathon runner laces up their best shoes—it's time for some High-Intensity Interval Cooking. Ready… set… cook!What's Inside:The power behind cooking at home.The tea on why cooking is resented and undervaluedSpecial tip: Don that apron and embrace cooking!Shhhh, you only really need to know 5 recipes (yes, you'll hear them here)If your kitchen is not getting used and you're a cooking hater…this episode is for you! After you listen, you'll be dying to try at least one of Brigitte's tips. Which one is up first? Let me know on Insta!Mentioned In This Episode:Vegan Family Kitchen Books - Vegan Family Kitchen Join the Masters of Fitness Awesomeness Oonagh Duncan (@oonaghduncan) on Instagram Fit Feels Good Goals, Grit and some Woo Woo Shit with Oonagh Duncan 

While it feels like progress isn't happening — and that may be true at the federal level — inside the industry, it's a completely different story.The financial model you built, the regulatory category you operate in, the market dynamics, the consumer behavior — every one of those variables is in motion. Constantly evolving. And new competitors are entering, disrupting your playbook from every angle.Reality is, the shakeout isn't ending anytime soon. This industry is not for the faint of heart.The one thing that doesn't lie? Data.Ground yourself in it. Use it to make decisions — the hard decisions. Because if you don't, eventually the market will make them for you.Yes, it's insanely difficult right now.But that's par for the course in a billion-dollar startup industry with a constantly shifting foundation.This week we sit down with Annarae Grabstein to discuss the following:Why most cannabis financial models were doomed from the startThe THC beverage boom and what it reveals about consumer demandGo Wide vs. Go Deep: A strategy framework to actually survive this market Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Cannabis Industry and Guest Background03:02 Consumer-Centric Market Dynamics06:08 Navigating Regulatory Challenges08:52 The Intersection of Hemp and Cannabis11:55 Market Realities and Strategic Adaptation15:00 The Role of Data in Cannabis Operations17:59 Growth of Cannabinoid Consumption21:04 Future of Regulation and Market Access28:08 Defining Objectives for Market Success29:31 Deep vs. Wide Market Strategies32:14 Understanding Market Dynamics and Customer Relationships35:36 The Role of Technology in Cannabis39:32 Balancing Investment in Technology42:28 Integrating Data into Business Practices44:05 Future Trends in the Cannabis Industry46:45 Qualitative Due Diligence in Investment DecisionsGuest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/in/annarae/Instagram (@annarae_g)AnnaRae Grabstein (@annarae_g) on Xhttps://wolf-meyer.com/https://www.linkedin.com/company/wolf-meyer/Our Links Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Can cannabis be the key to lowering healthcare costs and improving patient outcomes?Impossible, right?Think again.Leafwell has analyzed millions of data points and uncovered staggering, undeniable results—cannabis patients experience fewer ER visits, reduced prescription drug use, and better health outcomes compared to non-users. These findings aren't just groundbreaking—they're a wake-up call.This is just the beginning of unlocking the true potential of plant medicine, and with further research, education, and access, millions more could benefit.This week, we sit down with Emily Fisher & Dr. June Chin of Leafwell to discuss:The shocking data proving cannabis' impact on healthcareHow employers are integrating cannabis into their benefitsHow insurance coverage could change the future of medical cannabisGuest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-arida/Apply for a Medical Marijuana Card Online - LeafwellInstagram (@leafwell_official)https://x.com/LeafwellLeafwellhttps://www.linkedin.com/company/leafwellofficial/Our Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

“It's this crazy melody of things constantly happening, and you need an incredible degree of grit and fortitude. Even the best-prepared individuals with meticulous plans have to throw them up in the air like confetti. It's an intangible feeling—until you get into it, you really don't know.”This quote from Christina Betancourt Johnson perfectly captures the cannabis industry—where relentless highs and lows force constant adaptation. The question is: are we just treading water, or pushing forward to something greater?This week, we sit down with Christina Betancourt Johnson, CEO of Standard Wellness Maryland, to discuss:How even the best-laid plans evolve in cannabis.The balance between compliance, funding, and long-term growth.The mindset and strategies needed to thrive in an unpredictable industry. Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Cannabis Journey02:55 Transitioning into the Cannabis Industry05:52 Navigating the Application Process09:03 Understanding the Dichotomy of Cannabis Business11:50 The Importance of Vertical Integration15:11 Challenges of Operationalizing a Cannabis Business18:01 Managing Stakeholder Expectations20:49 Resilience and Adaptability in Cannabis26:31 Navigating the Cannabis Landscape30:49 Challenges of Social Equity in Cannabis33:37 The Importance of Agility in Leadership36:50 Engaging in the Legislative Process39:42 Empowering Communities Through Education43:54 Future Trends in the Cannabis Industry48:09 Lessons from Experience Guest Links https://www.standardwellness.com/https://www.instagram.com/standardwellnesscompany/https://www.linkedin.com/company/standard-wellness-company/https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinabjohnson/Our Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Want to know what a company really values? Look at where they spend their money.In cannabis, where cash is a rare commodity, Jetty Extracts is choosing to invest in:Thousands of dollars each month in additional third-party testing that isn't requiredOCal-certified cannabis, the cleanest on the marketMost companies can't even consider this level of investment. Jetty does it because they've spent over a decade building a brand on quality.As the industry shifts toward clean products, organic certification, and transparency, Jetty is making a conscious choice to lead, not follow.This isn't just compliance—it's a brand separator. And that's what makes them different.This week we sit down with Ron Gershoni Co Founder Jetty Extracts to discuss the followingWhy solventless extraction is the future.Why OCal certification is a game-changer.How Jetty built a brand on quality and consistencyChapters00:00 Introduction to Jetty Extracts and Ron Grishoni02:39 Ron's Journey into the Cannabis Industry10:24 Building Jetty Extracts: Early Challenges and Growth15:14 Scaling and Expanding Jetty Extracts21:19 The Importance of Consistency in Cannabis Products35:57 The Shift Towards Clean Cannabis43:10 Future of Jetty Extracts and Industry InsightsGuest Links https://www.linkedin.com/in/ron-gershoni-1ba1271/https://jettyextracts.com/https://www.instagram.com/jettyextracts/https://x.com/jettyextractsOur Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Cannabis started as a movement, not just a business. But as legalization expanded, the industry found itself caught between profit and purpose, struggling under massive overregulation and taxation. So how do we get back on track?For over 11 years, Luna Stower has been on the front lines—fighting for safe access, patient rights, and the end of prohibition. While many have lost steam, her relentless passion and advocacy have never wavered. She has worked to bridge the gap between activism and industry, ensuring that cannabis remains accessible, ethical, and true to its roots.This week, we sit down with Luna Stower to discuss:The real challenges of legalization and what's holding progress backWhy patient access must come firstHow small actions can create big change in the industryChapters00:00 Introduction to Luna Stower and Cannabis Roots03:31 Optimism vs. Reality in Cannabis08:43 Activism and Advocacy in Cannabis Legislation12:56 Navigating Cannabis Conversations in Society14:43 The Unique Classification of Cannabis17:57 The Conspiracy Against Cannabis20:14 The Role of Activism in Cannabis Legislation22:29 Cannabis as a Catalyst for Broader Social Change23:24 The Importance of Speaking Up24:24 Descheduling Cannabis: A Call to Action25:33 The Prison Industrial Complex and Cannabis26:57 Economic Impact of Cannabis Legalization28:52 Racism and Cannabis: A Lens on Society29:11 Challenges Facing the Cannabis Industry30:37 Vaping Safety and Regulation32:53 Patient Access and Rights34:08 Long-term Safety of Vaping38:22 Global Cannabis Perspectives42:01 Consumption Lounges: A New Experience43:55 Activism and Community EngagementGuest Links https://www.linkedin.com/in/lunastower/https://www.lunastower.com/https://www.instagram.com/luna_stowerhttps://x.com/lunastowerhttps://www.instagram.com/getispire/Our Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

Vaping is more than just oil and hardware—it's a delicate balance of oil, terpenes, device performance, and supply chain efficiency. When one element is off, consumers notice, and brands suffer.With new tariffs on China and CCELL  massive  U.S. investment, what does this mean for the future of the vape industry? How do hardware vendors differentiate themselves while ensuring brands thrive? And can a nine-figure R&D budget redefine the vaping experience?This week, we sit down with Nick Kovacevich, Corporate Relations Director at CCELL, to explore:The challenge of balancing cost, quality, and consumer expectations in vapesHow China tariffs are reshaping the global vape supply chainThe hidden factors that determine whether a vape product succeeds or fails Guest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/in/nickkovacevich/https://x.com/nickkovacevichhttps://www.ccell.com/https://www.linkedin.com/company/ccellofficial/https://x.com/CCELLofficialhttps://www.instagram.com/CCELLofficial/Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Vape Industry and Guest Background02:53 The Rise of C-cell and Its Innovations06:08 Understanding the Supply Chain in Cannabis08:59 Investment Strategies and Long-term Vision11:52 Navigating Consumer Data and Market Trends15:13 The Importance of Quality Control in Vape Products18:02 Technological Advancements in Vape Technology20:56 The Role of Batteries in Vape Performance27:06 The Evolution of Cannabis Vaping Devices29:26 Supply Chain Innovations in Cannabis32:48 Automation and Efficiency in Production35:15 Navigating Tariffs and Political Changes38:58 The Future of Cannabis Legislation42:15 Research and Development in Cannabis Safety45:09 The Case for Vaping as a Safer Alternative49:08 Consumer Awareness and Industry TransparencyOur Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

It's Sunny & 70... with Jeff sounding like one of those DJs... SHHHH don't tell him that tho!

Consumer buy brands. And in cannabis, California brands reign supreme because they uphold the most sacred element in any relationship—trust.Trust isn't just about marketing—it's about consistency, quality, and experience. The moment a brand breaks that trust, it loses everything. But expanding a highly trusted California brand into new markets isn't just about slapping a logo on a jar—it's about ensuring the same elite quality, cultivation standards, and consumer experience across state lines.So how do you scale a collective of powerhouse cannabis brands while maintaining the trust that made them successful in the first place?This week, we sit down with Nate D, co-founder of Turn, Made, and Project Packs, to break down:·Why Trust Is Cannabis' Most Valuable Asset·How a Collective Model Helps Cannabis Brands Scale· The Cultivation & Quality Challenges of Scaling CannabisChapters:00:00 Introduction to Nate D and His Ventures02:48 The Ecosystem of Cannabis Businesses06:07 Quality Control in Cannabis Cultivation09:08 Scaling Challenges in Cannabis11:56 The Importance of Team and Trust15:07 Navigating Market Trends and Consumer Preferences17:55 R&D in Cannabis: The Long Game20:50 Collaboration and Community in the Cannabis Industry23:58 Future Trends and Predictions27:10 Lessons Learned and Final Thoughts Guest Links:https://www.instagram.com/turndotme/https://www.youtube.com/@turndotmehttps://x.com/turndotmehttps://turn.me/https://madeforsmokers.com/https://www.instagram.com/YOUREMADE/Our Links:Bryan Fields on TwitterKellan Finney on TwitterThe Dime on TwitterAt Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcastThe Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished.The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis PodcastSign up for our playbook here:

“I cried. Right in front of all those people.” ⁠Subscribe here to be notified when the postman's come.⁠ Anne Levitt played by Brittany Sue Hines Aunt Sena played by Christine Brunner Edward Tenlinger played by Micah Stock James Cavell played by Darren Brown Adapted from the novel 'Dearest' by ⁠Michael London⁠ Production, Editing, & Sound Design by ⁠George Drake, Jr.⁠ Music Composition by Mustafa Shaheen This series was made possible by a generous grant from the ⁠Montgomery County Arts & Cultural District⁠ with assistance from ⁠Culture Works⁠.  This episode of Dearest features the following sounds from ⁠Freesound.org: room-tone quiet 01 121129_01.wav by klankbeeld, Wine Glass Clinking by SoundBIterSFX, Shhhh_ses2.wav by freesound, Cough.wav by Harris85, awww than applause and cheering.wav by xtrgamr and the following SFX from ShangusBurger CRWDWalla_Convention Expo, Sparse_Shane Vincent_G..., CRWDApls_Generic Applause_ShaneVincent_GSC24_FUMA..., CRWDLaff_Short Polite Laugh 01_ShaneVincent_GSC24..., CRWDLaff_Short Genuine Laugh_ShaneVincent_GSC24_F..., CRWDLaff_Genuine Laughter_ShaneVincent_GSC24_FUMA..., CRWDLaff_Short Genuine Laugh, Reaction_ShaneVince..., CRWDApls_Loud Applause 01_ShaneVincent_GSC24_FUMA..., CRWDReac_Crowd Gasping In Surprise, Scattered_Sha..., CRWDQuiet_Active Whispering_ShaneVincent_GSC24_FU..., CRWDApls_Loud Applause 02_ShaneVincent_GSC24_FUMA..., CRWDCheer_Short Affirmative Cheer_ShaneVincent_GS...

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Anna almost loses Jake, then beds him. By darrenr - Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Wordlessly they lay there, Anna clutching his hand as he held her. Eventually her breathing returned to normal, and her grip softened. Jake realized he had his dick pressed against her bottom in their hug, but it had softened during the past few minutes. He felt proud of himself and his soft dick. Anna was the epitome of his sexual desires, but in this moment even his perpetually rude cock recognized this was not the time to make selfish demands. It felt nice snuggled up against her soft bottom. His face resting on Anna's back, he couldn't help smiling. He had done it! He had most definitely given her something she'd never felt before. A small movement from Anna brought him out of his reverie, and he realized she was crying. In a single second his heart fell from impossible heights of blissful pride and satisfaction down into despair. “Anna, are you okay?” Jake asked, his voice small. “Did I hurt you?” For what felt like an eternity, there was no response at all. Then Anna's grip on his hand tightened, and she pulled it against her chest. “Thank you,” she said, her voice cracking. Holding his hand tight, she moved to sit up and he pulled back to give her space. She looked at him with cheeks wet with tears. “I have no idea why I'm crying. No, you didn't hurt me. You made me feel more pleasure than I ever thought possible. I don't know where all this emotion is coming from.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, and he put his free arm around her again. They sat in silence for a few minutes more. Jake's heart gradually recovered from its moment of terror, and he breathed easy again, the sweet scent of her hair in his nose. With a deep breath Anna lifted her head and looked at Jake. Still feeling elated from his success, he started to grin. This in turn made Anna smile. Making a goofy face, he said, “Well?” They both burst out laughing. Jake felt elated at what he had accomplished, giddy with delight at what they had shared, at how close he felt to Anna. When the laughter died down, Anna's face grew thoughtful. “What I just experienced, was that normal? Is that what everyone feels when they orgasm? Is that what you feel?” “I doubt I've ever experienced anything even a tenth as good as that,” Jake said. “That seemed to be in the earth-shattering category. “It really was. My legs feel weak. I can't get over how good that felt. I honestly didn't know anything like that was possible. How did you know how to do that?” He thought about all the ‘how to' videos about sex he had watched, all the guides to please a woman he had read, how he poured all his love and focus into doing the best he could for her. “I think I just got lucky.” Anna laughed. “No, I'm the one who got lucky.” She sat in silence for another moment looking at her toes. “Jake?” “Yes?” “You kissed my pussy.” It still caught him off guard when she used that word, but he liked it. “Yes. I hope you don't mind. I knew you needed more and that was my only idea,” Jake said. “Was it, was it gross?” Anna asked. “Quite the opposite,” Jake said. Of course, the truth was he was overflowing with affection for her. Confessing all that now seemed too much. He kept silent. “Anna,” Jake said quietly, “Did I hurt you?” “What on earth are you talking about?” she said. “You know, when I, when I put my finger inside.” “Oh!” she giggled. “No, it didn't hurt at all. Quite the opposite. Completely different from the doctor.” “Oh good,” Jake said, his finger remembering. Warm, snug, delicate. He felt his arousal start to grow and tried to think about something else instead. After a few minutes, Anna asked, “How tired are you?” “Oh, I'm fine.” “But it took me ages to reach the climax. You must have been getting a little tired?” “A little,” Jake admitted. “But I'm fine now.” “All recovered?” “Yes, all recovered!” Jake said, laughing at the interrogation. “Good!” Anna said, distractedly stroking the top of her thigh. “Good, I'm glad. That was an incredible thing you did for me, just an incredible thing.” “Anna, please,” Jake protested, turning his head to meet her eyes. “I enjoyed it too, you know.” Anna smiled but quickly looked away in embarrassment. “Of course, now, now it's your turn.” Anna was clearly getting nervous. “I owe you some–” “No,” Jake said a little too firmly, sitting up. “No, listen. There's nothing owed. Nothing transactional here. If some day in the future you find yourself needing to touch me, truly deeply needing it, then nothing would be more welcome. Nothing. But I've been slapping this salami and having orgasms for years. I'm fine. What's important now is you've taken a huge risk with this first step, and it was a good experience. I think you should load up on good experiences before taking more risks.” “'Good experience' rather understates things,” Anna said with a laugh. “Here's what I think,” Jake said. “No offense, but you look a bit worn out. How about I get us a snack and we watch a movie to relax?” Anna smiled. “I do feel a bit drained. That would be nice.” Jake returned with some apple slices, cheese, and crackers. Anna cued up a movie and he realized he was feeling pretty drained himself. Sometime later he awoke to find Anna still sitting with him. The movie was over. It took him a moment to notice she was looking down at his crotch. Jake must have moved a little because Anna startled, looked away, and began to get up. “What's the matter?” he asked. “Sorry, I shouldn't have been staring while you were asleep.” Jake laughed. “Are you joking? We've been naked with each other for weeks now. Why would I mind if you looked at my ugly wiener?” “I don't know,” Anna said, settling back down on the couch beside him and leaning against him. “It just felt like peeping or something.” She smiled. “I guess I was being silly.” Jake nodded and put his arm around her again, feeling her shoulders rise and fall as she breathed, enjoying how her breasts moved. “I don't think it's ugly,” Anna said after a few minutes. “Huh?” “Your penis. Your cock,” she added with a smile. “I don't think it's ugly. It got super small while you slept. I thought it was cute.” Jake felt the topic of discussion begin to swell. He whispered, “Uh oh, it knows you're talking about it.” Anna bent down close to his dick and whispered to it, “I think you're cute when you're all shrunk up small!” Then she sat back up, giggling. His dick jumped a little in response, and Anna laughed more. “Can I tell you something stupid?” Anna asked. “Of course.” “This is embarrassing, but, when your cock gets really big…” Anna looked down. In a quiet voice, she said, “I feel a little bit scared of it.” Jake immediately began to shrink. He frightened her? He moved to cover himself with his hands. “No wait,” Anna said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down. “That's not what I meant. You didn't do anything wrong.” She pulled his hands up so his crotch was exposed again. “All I meant was it's intimidating when it gets big.” Jake thought for a moment. “I have to be honest. It's hard to not be aroused when I'm with you. But I will try!” “No,” Anna said. “No, I don't want that. This doesn't make sense, but I also like when it gets big. I feel both excited and a little afraid.” She looked down and then back into his eyes. “I guess what I mean is I appreciate how patient you're being with me. I intend to return the generosity you've shown me, but, but I'm just not ready yet.” Jake let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. “Oh, well that's no problem. I thought we already settled this? You don't 'owe' me anything." "I know," Anna said, "I just--" "Listen," Jake interrupted. "Believe me. I'm having a... profoundly good time. All I can think about is hoping you'll invite me back for another round." "What does your schedule look like tomorrow evening?" she asked. Jake chuckled, and he felt his dick jump at the thought. "I think I can fit you in," he said. Anna smiled, and leaned her head against his shoulder again. Unexpressed Desires. Anna didn't like to directly ask for Jake to work his magic on her. Her face would occasionally get this hungry look that was extremely obvious, and Jake made sure to offer. As he practiced on her more and more, he became immensely proud of his growing expertise. He had learned to read her feelings, her body's reactions, and her needs. Sometimes it was clear she needed immediate relief, and he would give it to her. Other times, his favorite times, she enjoyed dragging it out. He would bring her right to the edge, and then back away, teasing her over and over until she couldn't stand it even one more second. When she reached that point, he would take her over the edge into an incredibly powerful orgasm that left both of them exhausted afterwards. She wasn't ready to return the attention. Occasionally she would offer, though it clearly came from a sense of obligation. Jake wanted her to touch him out of desire, not guilt. At least he wasn't embarrassed about being erect around her anymore. Sometimes he got that "blue balls" ache, but not often. After she left every evening, he didn't even feel the need to masturbate anymore. He just missed her and tried to get to sleep quickly so the morning would bring her back. Jake hated hiding his true feelings from her, but he feared ruining what they had. Maybe someday he would have to confront that. He wasn't ready. The Saturday of changes. It had been a tiring Saturday, but fun. Hiking in the nearby foothills, taking countless photos, and talking about all kinds of things. She seemed so fond of him as they explored and laughed together, he could almost believe she loved him as much as he loved her. He hoped so, at least. Lost in his thoughts, he realized Anna was talking to him as she drove them home. "It's funny," Anna said. "I was talking with my mom the other day and she was acting all confused about us. Apparently, I talk about you all the time and she thinks we're actually dating. 'Mom!' I said, 'Jake doesn't think of me that way. We're just good friends.' I don't know why she won't let this go." Jake felt his ears burning. He doesn't feel about Her that way? Feeling exhausted from the hike, he was unable to slow the emotion building in his heart. "That's bullshit," he said, more anger in his voice than he intended. He stared out the front window. Anna glanced at him with surprise. Jake didn't turn toward her. He knew Anna wasn't a malicious person, and he knew he was probably messing up everything, but it hurt. "What do you mean?" Anna asked quietly. Jake knew his anger was out of control, but he spoke anyway. "You always assume too much. Mostly I don't mind, but you don't get to make assumptions about my feelings, to lie to my face. It couldn't be more obvious how I feel about you, how I've felt about you from the very start. I don't expect you to love me back. You don't owe me anything. But it would be really fucking decent of you to at least be honest that You set the rules. You don't get to put words in my mouth." Anna didn't respond. Jake stared straight ahead. He heard some sniffling and saw her wiping her eyes. He wanted to comfort her. He hated to see her in pain, no matter the reason. But his angry heart felt better, even if he dreaded to think what he had done to their friendship. The rest of the drive home was silent. They went to their separate apartments that evening. Jake showered by himself for the first time in weeks feeling lonely and sad. Fearing he had made the biggest mistake of his life, he made it as far as the couch before breaking down in tears and crying himself to sleep beneath the throw blanket. Sometime later, Jake heard Anna's voice. Was it a dream? His head felt heavy with sleep. In the darkness, Anna was pulling his hand. "Come on, sleepy-head, you'll be more comfortable in bed," she said. Her voice held no anger, only kindness. It must be a dream. He found himself in his bed. Anna climbed in beside him, her warm back snuggled up against him as she pulled his arm around her. He longed for it to be real, though he knew it couldn't be. Anna hated him now. It was over. Jake's mind drifted into blank despair again. Anna was smiling at him. Her face was the most beautiful thing in the world and her gaze felt like being bathed in warm sunshine. She leaned in to kiss him. In the dream logic, this wasn't a surprise. She loved him as he loved her, and kissing him was the most natural thing in the world. Her lips touched his and he felt his heart grow and expand until it consumed the universe with their love and joy. All they needed was each other, forever. Touching her face, he was the happiest man in the world. He called out her name. "Jake," he heard Anna's voice, gentle and tender. "Jake, are you okay?" He felt a warm hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw the light of dawn, soft on Anna's face. What was she doing here? Genuine concern was in her eyes. "Jake, you were having a dream. Are you okay?" As he woke up more, he realized his dick felt strange. Moving his hand, he found it was on Anna's hip, and her hip was wet. The sheets were wet. His crotch was wet. With horror he realized it had been a wet dream. The biggest, messiest wet dream of his life. And it was all over Anna. His body involuntarily jerked in panic. Tears erupted from his eyes and he started gasping, unable to speak even if he knew what to say. What was she even doing here? He couldn't see clearly through the tears, but he had no trouble imagining the hateful look she must be giving him. "Sorry!" he blurted. "Oh god, I'm so sorry." He started to pull back, to climb out of the bed and away from the mess, away from everything. But she gently pulled him back down beside her. "Shhhh, don't talk," she said. "Just look into my eyes and breathe." Jake squeezed his eyes shut, too ashamed to look at her. "Everything's okay, Jake," Anna continued. "I'm here with you, and everything is okay." Jake opened his mouth to apologize again but she put a finger over his lips before he could speak. "There's nothing to say. Just breathe with me." He opened his eyes and through the tears saw Anna's kind eyes looking into his. He inhaled, and his chest jerked with a suppressed sob. "Everything's okay, Jake. Just breathe with me." Jake took another breath, and he managed to make it a bit smoother. Anna smiled and stroked his temple. He focused on the warmth of her hand on his face and tried to forget the shameful wet mess between them on the sheets. Eventually his breathing calmed down. Anna used her thumb to wipe the tears off his cheeks, and she smiled at him. "Now we're going to do something silly," Anna said, "And you're not going to argue with me. You're going to come with me to the shower, but first you're going to close your eyes. Do you trust me?" Jake was puzzled but he nodded and closed his eyes. He felt her pull the cold sticky sheet off them, and then she helped him stand up. Holding him from the side, she slowly guided him, and he realized she was doing this so he wouldn't look at the mess on the bed. He felt the shame lurch back into his heart, but at that very instant she put her hand on his chest, right over his heart, and he calmed back down. He kept his eyes closed as his feet touched the cold tile of the bathroom. He heard Anna start the shower, and then she pulled them together into the hot water. She pressed the front of her body against the front of his and squeezed him close, her head on his shoulder with her face against his neck. Her breasts were soft and comforting. Her hips pushed against his and he felt his shrunken, ashamed dick press against her thighs. He put his arms around her and returned the hug. The hot water poured over them both and he felt his body relaxing. For a few minutes they just held each other. Anna adjusted the water slightly hotter. The air filled with steam and their bodies seemed to blend as the water coursed over their shoulders. Anna sighed happily against his neck. She didn't hate him for ejaculating on her in his sleep. She wasn't repelled. She didn't find him revolting. Anna squeezed him tighter, then pulled back from her hug. "You can open your eyes now." She was smiling at him. She put her finger to his lips and then grabbed the shampoo bottle. Her fingers massaged the shampoo into his scalp and his eyes rolled back in pleasure. She rubbed far longer than was needed to wash his hair, clearly enjoying his reaction. With a soapy wash cloth, she rubbed his shoulders. Her thumbs worked into his muscles as she washed down his back, down each arm, across his chest and down his belly. Without hesitation she gently held his shrunken dick and stroked it carefully with the wash cloth. It wasn't sexual as she cleaned him, it was simply loving. She washed his bottom, his legs, and his feet, including scrubbing between each toe. She pushed him back into the hot water to rinse and held a finger up to tell him to stay there. Then she carefully shampooed her own hair, and washed her own body, making sure he was watching. Finally, she joined him in the hot stream of water and hugged him as she rinsed. When Anna turned the water off she grabbed a fresh towel and dried him carefully over his whole body before drying herself while he watched. He laughed when she used the hair dryer on him, blowing warm air all over their bodies until they were fully dry before she got a brush and started drying his hair too. She had fun styling his hair to look ridiculous, and then quickly dried her own hair too. Anna wrapped them each in bath robes to stay warm, and walked him to the kitchen. She put him in a chair and he watched while she made coffee, toast, and eggs. She sat beside him while they ate in silence, watching each other and giggling now and then. When they finished eating, she held up her finger again to tell him to stay in his chair, and then went off to the bedroom. Anna was gone only a few minutes before returning and leading him by the hand back to the bed, which now had fresh sheets. She sat beside him on the bed and smiled at him. "How are you feeling now?" Anna asked. "Better?" Jake smiled. He was clean, warm, and fed. Also, he realized, he was loved. "All better. One hundred percent better. One thousand percent better!" Anna giggled. She couldn't seem to stop smiling. "Remember when I first asked if I could show you my breasts?" Jake nodded. "I'll never forget." Anna pulled her robe open. Jake happily looked down at her beautiful breasts, familiar now but no less appealing to him, with their tender little slits where her nipples hid. He was about to say some silly compliment about her breasts when she kissed him. It was not Jake's first kiss. He had dated a few women and experienced some nice kisses. But this kiss was so impossibly more intense it may as well have been his first. Through her lips he felt Anna's warm affection for him. Her eager desire for him. Her boundless love for him. Too soon, she pulled back. She was still smiling. "You're in love with me," she said. It wasn't a question. Jake nodded. "You've been in love with me from the moment we met." Jake nodded again. "You've been lovingly caring for me this whole time while I refused to believe you thought of me romantically. But you do." Jake nodded vehemently and leaned in to kiss her again. When their lips met for the second time they both had their mouths open and their tongues found each other. Anna pulled his robe open and pushed it off his shoulders, and then put his hands on her warm breasts. He lovingly squeezed them while she pulled her own robe off and then spread her legs and pulled his hand down between them. His fingers found her familiar cleft, but it all felt different to be kissing her at the same time. Through their kiss it was like he could sense how good his touches felt on her. Already her clitoris was firm beneath his finger as he stroked it. She was incredibly wet, far beyond what he had experienced before. Everything felt slick and warm and sensual as she moaned into their kiss. Without breaking the kiss, she gently pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. He was already erect, but when her fingers wrapped around his shaft it grew even harder. She had touched him there often, but never with this eagerness and never when he was this hard. She stroked gently up and down his length briefly and then dragged the tip up and down the length of her cleft. He felt her heat, her wetness, her desire. Still kissing him, Anna guided him to her virgin opening and pushed down. They moaned together as he entered her. Jake had no idea his cock could experience so much pleasure, and then she pushed more, and it was even better. Relentlessly she pushed until he felt her hips against his and he was fully buried in Anna, in his love. She refused to break off the kiss as her hips lifted and pushed back down with a cry. Jake realized he was far past the point of no return. She lifted her hips once more and pushed down just as he felt his hot eruption surge up the length of his shaft and deep into her. Jake's hips bucked wildly against her as an unending stream of pent-up affection poured into her. Never had an orgasm felt so right, so perfect. After what seemed like ages of pumping and straining to give her every last drop, his awareness fell back into their kiss. She did love him. She was in love with him just as much as he was with her. He could feel it. He knew it. Slowly, so slowly, Anna pulled her face up to look at him. The moment their eyes met, they said at the same time, "I love you." Anna giggled and gave him another kiss. "I noticed," she said. Suddenly reality came crashing back in on Jake's mind. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to hurt you. I exploded so fast. I should have given you some pleasure first. That was selfish. I should have worn a--" Anna stopped his talking with another kiss. Feeling her lips on his, he forgot what he had been saying. "Stop talking nonsense," she said with a smile. "Now let's see. No, I'm not hurt. It was uncomfortable at first, but then it felt wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. And you don't have a selfish bone in your body." She giggled. "Or a selfish bone in my body, for that matter. That was perfect." She kissed him again. "Absolutely perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. If I could do it all over again, I'd want my first time to be exactly the same." She kissed him yet again. "Are you telling me you honestly have regrets?" Jake smiled and shook his head. He moved his hands down to her bottom, and felt himself slowly shrinking inside her. He wanted to stay inside her forever. "And no," she continued, "You should not have worn a condom. Is that what you were going to say?" She shook her head and rolled her eyes while she smiled. "First, I've been on the pill for years to help with period cramps. Second, we're going to be together forever and if that means babies then I welcome it." The love in her eyes shone intensely. "Third, well, the truth is I wasn't thinking about any of that." Anna stroked the side of his head and took a deep breath. "This morning I woke up in your arms feeling warm, secure, and loved, but all this time I had convinced myself you didn't love me 'that way.' That you weren't 'in love' with me. But you were having a dream. Such an intense dream. You kept mumbling 'I love you' over and over. And then you called out my name--you practically screamed it--and then I was covered, absolutely drenched with--" "I'm so sorry!" "NO! Let me finish. I was covered, absolutely drenched with... the truth of your love. And it felt magical. The realization hit me I've been an absolute idiot this whole time. You've been lavishing me with love and affection while I refused to accept the truth of your feelings for me. Only by getting a peak into your dreams did it finally get through my thick skull." "I made a mess on you," Jake said. "I loved it!" Anna said. "It was amazing. It was incredibly intimate. And honest. And pure. It was beautiful. And it smelled sweet too. Like a switch flipped, I was no longer intimidated by your penis, your cock. I was no longer afraid of it. All I could think was I needed you inside me as soon as possible, I just wanted to be filled with your love." She thought his dick and what it did was... beautiful? Anna, the person he loved most in the world, his best and closest friend, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, she thought that? Jake's cock, feeling wanted, and desired, and loved, started to grow within her. Anna moaned happily. "Oh, I feel that." Her hips started moving in circles, and soon he was fully hard again. "Oh god, Jake it's just so good. I love your cock. Your beautiful, beautiful cock inside my happy pussy." Anna slowly brought her legs out and her knees up, careful to keep him inside her, and then sat upright on Jake's hips. She looked dazzlingly beautiful, smiling down at him from above. Jake stroked up and down her sides, admiring her. "You're looking at me like you think I'm beautiful or something," Anna said with a giggle. Jake nodded. She pulled his hands onto her breasts. "You make me feel beautiful," she said, and then pulled him up toward her and kissed him. After some careful shifting to stay inside her, they were arranged upright and facing each other, with Anna sitting on his lap. Jake's face was halfway between her face and her breasts. Anna kissed him, and then looked down between them. "It's beautiful to see where we're joined," she said. He looked down with her and saw her smooth outer lips wrapped around the base of his shaft. "I love having you inside me." Anna held a breast up to his face. "Kiss my beautiful nipples," she said. Jake had done a lot of fun things with Anna, but he had not yet touched his mouth to her breasts. His cock jumped with excitement inside of her, and she giggled with delight. "You like that idea, do you?" she said with a smile. Jake nodded and brought his lips down to the breast she offered him, softly kissing around it before kissing her inverted nipple directly. He could feel its firmness beneath his lips. Anna sighed. "Suck it." He surrounded her areola with his lips and swirled his tongue around it while gently sucking. "Yes, that's it," Anna said softly. "Harder." He sucked harder and felt movement as her nipple emerged between his lips. After all this time feeling like her bare breasts brightened the room, her shy nipple seemed to taste like warm sunshine radiating into his mouth. Anna gasped in delight. He held it in his mouth and explored it with his tongue. Anna stroked his head. "You found treasure there, didn't you, my love?" she said. "It's just for you. All for you. Now see if you can find the other one." Jake gently released it and pulled his face back to see. For an instant her nipple stood out, larger than he had expected, and then it collapsed back inside to hide. He put his lips on her other nipple and found it just as easy to pull out. Lovingly he stroked its firmness with his tongue. "That feels amazing," Anna said, her breathing getting faster as she stroked the back of his head. "I've never felt anything like this before. They're so happy in your sweet mouth, my nipples that only come out for you." Jake moved his hand down to where they joined. After stroking her outer lips to get his thumb nice and wet, he gently brought it against her firm clitoris. Anna gasped again. The angle was different from what he was used to, but he soon found the right way to touch her. He switched back to the first nipple and coaxed it out into his mouth again while Anna writhed and pulled on his head. "Oh god, oh Jake, oh god," Anna cried out as her body jerked against him once, twice, three times. He could feel the pulsing pleasure flow through her as each spasm clenched around his shaft and then flowed up through her body. Slowly he released her nipple from his mouth and brought his hands up to hold her as she sagged into him. After a moment she sat up and pulled his face to hers with a kiss. He felt her wet tears on his face before she pulled back to look at him with a smile. Wiping the tears away, she laughed softly. "You made me feel so good. So... loved." Anna stroked his face. "I didn't know my breasts could feel like that. You make me feel so beautiful. You make my breasts feel so beautiful. So special." She kissed him. "My breasts are wonderful, aren't they?" Jake nodded. "Absolute perfection! They radiate beauty and warmth to all who behold them!" Anna giggled and hugged him, pressing her warm brilliant breasts against his chest. "Jake," she whispered in his ear. "Jake, I feel something wonderful inside of me. Do you have any idea what that could be?" "I hope it's the sure knowledge I love you with my whole heart," he said. Anna laughed again. "It is! Though I can't help but notice it's a hard truth I'm feeling." Jake strained inside of her. "A very hard truth. I wonder if what I really need is for you to drive the point home." Anna smiled and slowly fell backwards onto the bed. Jake regretfully pulled out of her so he could change positions, but quickly arranged himself on top of her and she guided him back in. Her hair stretched out on the bed behind her head forming an arc like blonde rays of sunshine emanating from her smiling face. Anna's hands on his hips pulled him into her and she sighed happily. "Did your hard truth say something?" she said. "I couldn't quite hear. I think you need to push harder." Jake pulled out part-way and pushed back into the warm embrace of her love. "Harder, Jake, harder! I need to feel that truth deep inside me." Happily, Jake thrust hard into her. Anna's amazing breasts bounced crazily, her head turning side to side as she writhed in pleasure beneath him. He felt the delicious pressure building within him as he pumped furiously. With a final effort he pushed as deeply into her as he could and froze, straining, as all the muscles in his body squeezed as one. It felt like an ocean's worth of love coursed through his shaft, each droplet leaving a wake of joy on its journey of a thousand miles across his every nerve before flooding into Anna's boundless, loving embrace. When there was nothing left of him to give, Jake found himself collapsed on top of Anna. She was stroking his head, her warm breasts against his chest shining sunlight directly into his heart. "I love you," Jake said. "I heard you," Anna said. "All the way inside me, I finally heard you." The End By darrenr for Literotica

SHHHH! Keep it a secret! On this season finale episode of the ABU Podcast, Bella joins the crew again to talk about their Favorite Subliminal messages and if it's good or Bad! Subscribe here for more funny moments and Podcast from ABU : / @abupodcastyt Follow the ABU IG: https://www.instagram.com/abu_podcast... Listen to us on SFC Radio on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/755gaPO...

Los Angeles will literally be on fire for the foreseeable future for a myriad of reasons, but mostly “arson.” (Shhhh!!!!!) At Chipotle, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. (Suck my Dickens) I mostly likely bore you to tears about my screenplay and the dramatic breakthrough I managed, but it will be worth it because Taylor Sheridan is totes going to produce it and it'll be on your TV and your iPhone and your Apple watch. (There is actually technically a 1% chance of that happening. If so, please recommend me high end prostitutes in preparation)

Shhhh...find a quiet spot amidst the holiday hubbub and enjoy this gift from us to you. We share our holiday horror stories and our best and worst mom gifts ever. Plus, Erica gives us a holiday would you rather quiz.Happy holidays, friends! We hope you find a few quiet holiday moments alone. You deserve it!And just a reminder that you can still join Kelsey's goal-setting workshop, Your Year to Shine.See full show notes on our website: girlnextdoorpodcast.comBecome a Friend of the Show! Join our Patreon community and get bonus content.Connect with us on Instagram: @higirlsnextdoorWe love to get your emails: higirlsnextdoor@gmail.comYour reviews on Apple Podcasts or where ever you listen really help the show – thank you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Virginia and the Department Store Santas.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Why was I so sure Santa had a full head of hair? Maybe he wore that big pointy hat for a reason. Maybe my original instincts had been right, and now I'd rejected Santa twice! I had to find out for sure. So I went back to the street corner where he worked. There he was, ringing his bell, just as sexy as ever. I felt the same tingling in my nether regions as I'd felt before. I went up to him, and when he saw me he just about fell over.“What the fuck are you doing here?”I was surprised that Santa had a potty mouth.“I just wanted to…” but I couldn't think of anything to say. So I jumped up into his arms and kissed him, breathing in his cinnamon smell again. But after a few seconds he pushed me back and held me at arm's length, looking left and right nervously.“Look, the other night… that was… fuckin' amazing. But you should know… I'm a married man.”“Of course you are,” I replied. “Everybody knows that. I just…” but I trailed off again. Nothing came to mind. So I tried to kiss him again, but this time he held me at bay with his bell.He whispered under his breath, “Really, I can't do it. I'd love to, don't get me wrong. But I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I mean, you're a nice girl, I'm sure, but I love my wife. She'll kill me if she so much as suspects I've been fuckin' around. She'll kill you too. So, do us both a favor and go find some other Santa Claus to screw.”I looked at him, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. That didn't sound much like Mrs. Claus. I doubted she could kill anyone. “I might just do that, Santa… if you really are Santa. I just want to ask you one question first. Do you like eggnog?”“Do I what?”What was he, deaf? “Do. You. Like. Egg. Nog?”“Fuck no. Can't stand the stuff.”How disappointing.But I took his advice and started checking out all the street corner Santas I could find. This was New York City. There was one on every corner. I looked at hundreds of Santas over the next couple of weeks, trying to be a little more circumspect than I'd been the last time. No, I didn't fuck any of them. For one thing, most of them were obviously fake. Fake beards, fake bellies, fake ho, ho, ho's. I could easily rule out Black Santas, Hispanic Santas, and Asian Santas. Not because I'm a racist… it's just that Santa's white. Everybody knows that.But some of them had real beards. They were so cute! I didn't think they were the real Santa, like I had the first guy, but I needed to be absolutely sure. So I got in the habit of kissing any street corner Santa who had a real beard. I'd just walk right up to them and plant my lips on theirs. I could usually tell right away that they were fake. But it wasn't always that easy. On at least a dozen occasions I had to make out with a would-be Santa for a long time before making up my mind. Not that every Santa let me kiss them. I suppose some of those guys were gay, others shy, or maybe in love with their wives. But it was obvious to me that any Santa who didn't want to kiss me just couldn't possibly be the real deal. Anyway, none of those street corner Santas inspired me to take it farther than making out.Well… that's not true. I did give a double blowjob one night.About three weeks before Christmas, I came across two very convincing Santas who were working right across the street from each other. They looked to be in their late sixties, early seventies and had long curly gray beards, little rosy cheeks, and twinkly eyes. Their Ho, ho, ho's were impressive, easily cutting through the traffic noise. They were wearing identical suits… in fact; everything about them looked the same. I couldn't decide which one was best, so I picked out one, totally at random, walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. He looked at me with surprise in his big blue eyes. But he kissed me back, not missing a beat. Maybe he'd heard stories about the notorious ‘Santa kisser' that had made the evening news. He was a pretty good kisser. He smelled like he'd recently eaten a piece of pumpkin pie. Nice. I knew right away that he was the real Santa. I'd found him at last!But then I thought about the other Santa across the street. He looked just like this one. Maybe I'd made another mistake. So I broke away, crossed the street and kissed the Santa Number Two. He reacted almost exactly like the Santa Number One and was just as good a kisser. This one was definitely the real Santa! I was certain of it! But…his eyes… his face… well, they were almost identical to Santa Number One. I felt intense confusion.I went back across the street and kissed Santa Number One again, this time really making out with him, tongues entwining. He hugged me and I loved the feel of his flabby arms enveloping me. He even squeezed my ass, which made my pussy tingle. It felt like magic. After a nice long kiss, probably five minutes, I skipped back across the street to French-kiss Santa Number Two. By this time both of them were smiling, wondering what the hell was going on and where it all might lead.Santa Number Two's kiss was virtually indistinguishable from Santa Number One's. The only discernible difference between them was that Santa Number Two smelled more like applesauce than pumpkin pie. But that wasn't enough of a difference for me to decide between them. So I figured that it was better to be safe than sorry. I crossed back over to Santa Number One, took his gloved hand in mine, and started to pull him across the street.“Whoa,” he said. “I can't leave my donation box.”“Gosh, Santa,” I said, “I was thinking about giving you a blow job. But if you'd rather not…”“The hell with the donations”, he said, a definite Santa-like twinkle lighting up his old eyes.I led him across the street to Santa Number Two and took his hand in my other hand. I started to lead them toward a nearby alley.“Hey, what's going on? I can't leave my…”“Trust me,” said Santa Number One, “Leave it. Just, leave it.”I walked hand in hand… in hand with the two Santas into the alley. I stood them up against a brick wall between a couple of dumpsters. It doesn't sound very romantic, but there was a nearby window rimmed with multicolored Christmas lights, illuminating everything with a magical colorful glow. I looked at their faces appraisingly. They really did look amazingly similar to each other, even from up close. One of these men was the real Santa; I knew it with all my heart, but which one? It was a real conundrum.I kneeled on the snowy ground at their feet. Santa Number Two said, “What the hell…”Santa Number One said, “Shhhh. Don't fuck this up for me. Oh… fuck.”He said that last bit because I had pulled his pants and tidy whities down with a nice solid yank. Then I pulled the Santa Number Two's pants down. They both had long red coats on, so I tucked the fuzzy white tails up into their big black belts, so that I could compare their penises without anything hanging in the way. Number Two's penis was not visible at all, actually. It was turtled back in his fatty balls. But Santa Number One's penis was already emerging from hibernation and getting larger and longer by the second, probably because he'd had longer to think about what I was going to do to him than Number Two.I took Santa Number One's cock into my mouth first. It was so tiny, my chin was buried in his balls, and his big belly was resting on top of my head. But I felt him growing against my tongue, and fast! I'd never sucked a guy before, although I'd seen pictures and movies. But seeing and doing are two different animals. I sucked and slurped and was amazed at how fast his cock was getting harder and longer and fatter. It was doubling then quadrupling in size. It was magical. I took Santa Number Two's teeny little wiener in my fingertips, and he too started growing and hardening. It was quite fascinating. When Number One was about five inches long, I switched to sucking Number Two and enjoyed the sensation of his cock swelling in my mouth just like Number One's had. I could actually feel the warm blood coursing into it from his excited body.After a minute or two, I went back to sucking Santa Number One, and now he was rock hard and almost seven inches long, but still growing. What an amazing transformation! I felt Number Two's cock hardening to exactly the same length in my hand. When they were both as hard and as long as they were ever gonna be, I took another look. Freaky. They had the same exact cock. Not just the same size (almost eight inches), but the same pattern of veins ran down their shafts in the same places. And boy, were they beautiful. Although these guys had wrinkly faces their cocks were smooth and sleek. There was nothing old about that part of their anatomy (except the white curly hairs that surrounded them).Santa Number One was impatiently watching me just look at his cock, so he grabbed my short black hair and pushed himself into my mouth again. I looked up at him with my elfin eyes, and he looked down at me over his belly, and I felt an amazing rush. I was sucking Santa Claus's dick! It's something I'd dreamed about many times, and now I was actually doing it! Then I felt Santa Number Two poking his dick against my cheek so I went back to sucking him for a while. Looking up at his intense, jolly, wrinkly, fat, old face, I was certain that I was sucking the real Santa's cock… but the other Santa was just as real to me! It was really quite trippy. I started going back and forth between their warm, steamy cocks, giving each one maybe three or four sucks while jerking the other one with my hand. I did this in the fairest way possible because I wouldn't want to offend the real Santa by showing too much attention to the fake Santa. It was fun, actually, trying to keep them both excited at the same time.It was a cold night. Steamy clouds illuminated by colorful Christmas lights were billowing out of my nose and mouth and dancing around their slick wet cocks. It was a beautiful sight. I felt so much love flowing through me, I began to hum, 'Oh, Holy Night' as I sucked Santa and/or Santa. Their facial expressions were so tense, but so full of joy, I was sure that, regardless of anything else, I was finally showing my appreciation to my lifelong hero.I kept picking up the pace and intensity, bit by bit, minute after minute, until they were groaning and having trouble staying on their feet from pleasure. Toward the end I was just giving each one a single deep and powerful suck before switching to the other, all the while jerking them strongly with my hands which were lubricated with the copious amounts of saliva I was drooling all over them. Both Santas grabbed the top of my head at the same time, and their bodies went stiff. I felt the cum shooting up through their cocks with my hands and then…Santa Number Two was the winner! He came about five seconds before Santa Number One. When he began to spurt, I took his cock in my mouth and felt the unique and wonderful sensation of cum slogging against my tongue. I tried to hold it all in, not wanting to spill any of it on my nice new sweater. But I forgot about Santa Number One. I was still jerking him so he suddenly came all over the side of my face and hair. I turned to put him in my mouth before he splashed me again, but then Santa Number Two spurted again, painting the other side of my face. It was dripping off me, all over my new sweater. But I thought, ah, what the heck. That's what dry cleaners are for. So I just jerked them both, aiming their quivering cocks at my face. I squeezed out a couple more jets of white stuff, opening my pretty mouth wide to catch as much as possible. I got some of it, but for the most part they frosted me like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.When I was done, I swallowed their cum… but it didn't taste particularly Christmassy. I had no better idea who the real Santa was than before. Sure, Number Two had cum sooner, but actually, it seemed like Santa Number One had cum a little more. But then again, what does any of that prove? I couldn't think of a single Christmas carol about Santa's semen skills.So I looked at them, my hands holding their dripping cocks, my elfin face and short hair zigzagged with streaks of shiny white goo and asked, “So, do either one of you like eggnog?”That really tickled them. They laughed their jolly laughs and said simultaneously, with the same voice, “I love eggnog!”“Boy. You Santas could almost be twins.”They looked at each other, then down at me and said, at the same time, “We are twins.”“Dang it!” I yelled. I stood up and threw my arms up in the air in frustration. “Santa doesn't have a twin brother! Dang it! Dang it! So, that means… what? Neither of you is the real Santa?” I kicked over a trashcan, sending the contents flying, “I just blew two fake Santas at the same time? Oh that's just great!”They looked at me with growing concern on their faces. They nervously pulled their pants back up and began to back away from me, toward the street.“What does a girl have to do to find the real Santa Claus?” I shouted angrily to the heavens. Then I gave out a little roar of frustration. Okay, it was a big roar of frustration. What can I say? I was frustrated! When I looked again, the twin fake Santas were gone, leaving me dripping with cum, but totally Santa less.I should let you know that experiences like this weren't as depressing as you might think. Oh, it was a sore disappointment that neither of them turned out to be the real Santa, but I took consolation in the fact that I'd given two nice old guys a fabulous memory to look back on. And I absolutely loved every second of it. That's how it is with sex addicts. The sex is always enjoyable. It's just the consequences that suck. The consequence for me was that one day instead of going to work, I went Santa-hunting and never went back. I had a lot of money saved up, but I didn't know how long it would last. New York is an expensive city to live in.But I tried not to think about that and kept looking for Santa. And a few more days of finding only shabby street Santas, I started thinking maybe I was setting my sights too low. Maybe I needed to check out department store Santas. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I remembered they had some really believable ones at the store I worked at when I was nineteen. So I did a little recon and was happy with what I found. Those guys almost always had real beards and jolly faces and bowls full of jelly and all the rest of it. But I couldn't just walk up to them and kiss them. They were surrounded with kids, elves, photographers, and store managers.So I would wait in line with the kids, and when it was my turn I'd sit on Santa's lap.“Well, if it isn't little Virginia!” he'd sometimes say, magically knowing my name without me even telling him.And then he almost always said, “And how are you today, little girl?” even though it was obvious I wasn't all that little.I'd always say something like, “I just wanted to apologize for doubting you, Santa. I should have baked those cookies for you last Christmas Eve. I know how much you look forward to them every year. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll never forget again.”Sometimes Santa would say, “Oh, don't worry about it. Mrs. Claus thinks I eat too many cookies as it is! Ho! Ho! Ho!” or something like that.There was always a long line of kids behind me, so I had to decide fast whether he was the real Santa or not. Usually, it boiled down to whether he knew my name without me having to tell him.Eventually, each one would say, “Now tell me what you want for Christmas, Virginia?”If he was fake, I'd say, “Please convey my apologies to the real Santa, if you see him.”But if he was the real Santa, I'd lean in way close and whisper into his ear, “What I want for Christmas is for you to fuck me Santa. Tonight. My place. Wear your Santa Suit.”Then I'd kiss his ear, slipping my tongue inside to make sure he knew I wasn't kidding around. Then I'd press a little Christmas card into his hand, which contained my address, name and phone number, as well as a photo of me holding my skirt up, exposing my pussy, just so he knew I wasn't a cop or something.It didn't always work out as planned. During the period I was vetting department store Santas, I chose ten true Santas. Of those, three never contacted me. A fourth Santa totally freaked out, called store security and had me ejected from the premises. But six other department store Santas… well, they were lonely oldish fat guys, who'd never been propositioned by a skinny little hottie like me. They couldn't pass up the opportunity.But I didn't think about it that way at the time. Each and every time I thought I'd finally found the real Santa, and each and every time I believed that he and I had made a real connection.Sam once told me that the definition of insanity is doing the same stupid thing again and again expecting different results. But Sam's a Grinch. I'm not insane. I'm an optimist! What's wrong with that?So, I had sex of one sort or another with six department store Santas, but it wasn't all wham bam, thank you ma'am. No, I put on Christmas music and baked cookies for them, and if they were nice, we'd make out and I'd give them a blowjob or handjob or maybe even jump their bones, always with me on top and fully clothed (except for panties). I was too shy to let Santa see my breasts. After he ejaculated on me or in me, I'd always offer to make dinner for him. At some point in every evening I would realize that this man wasn't the real Santa after all. I tried to cover my disappointment with a smile; I would never be rude to a guest. Sometimes after dinner they wanted to have sex again, and if they were nice enough about it and had been considerate enough to wear their Santa suit, I'd comply, though with a bit less enthusiasm. But I never accepted an invitation for a second date. I wasn't a slut, after all!All this time I'd been working my way from store to store. My final stop was… well, the terms of the gag order prohibit me from naming the place… But if you've ever seen a particular movie about a particular Santa who works at a particular New York department store and goes on trial to prove he's the real Santa, well you probably know which store I'm referring to. The Santa there is reputed to be the one true Santa! I went there Christmas Eve afternoon knowing that it would be my last chance this year to find the real Santa. I was feeling very optimistic.Santa's North Pole takes up the entire eighth floor of the department store. The waiting line is a long, winding path through a fantasyland of beautifully lit Christmas scenes with cheerful music playing and happy helpful 'elves' capering about. It really got me into the Christmas spirit, I guess, because by the time I had my turn with Santa, my panties were dripping wet, and I was panting with lust.I was ushered by an elf into a small, decorated room, in which Santa was sitting on a glittery red, white, and gold throne. Oh. My. God. He was beautiful!!! Like a radiant messiah dressed in holiday style. He had a lush, velvety red Santa suit. His face was glowing with youth, yet wrinkled with wisdom. His eyes were full of ancient knowledge, yet sparkling with childlike mischief. His booming laugh was the sound of love itself. He welcomed me with open arms.“Ho, Ho, Ho, Virginia! It's been ages since I saw you last!”My heart was aflutter. He was better, realer, and more magical than any of those fake Santas. This was really, truly, the one and only Kris Kringle himself!There was one other person in the room with us, a female elf about college age, who offered to take pictures if I'd brought a camera. I pretended that I'd misplaced my purse. I must have dropped it in the line. Maybe she could go look for it for me? She was so helpful. What a sweetie. She left me alone with Santa. I locked the door behind her, but quietly so Santa wouldn't notice.I hopped up on his lap. I put one hand nonchalantly on his inner thigh. My hand was only inches from his Santahood, and my fingers tingled with the knowledge that his sex was so close. So deliciously close. I looked up at him with doe eyes and giggled like a kid. I sucked my thumb shyly, oozing innocence. He was looking at me with a weird expression. He couldn't tell how to read me. I was obviously in my late twenties, but why was I acting so coy? Was I just fucking with him, or was I trying to seduce him? He didn't know, but I could definitely see interest in his eyes.Santa made clever small talk, much cleverer than any of the other Santas and happily played along with my little girl act while trying to pretend he didn't notice my tight little ass on his knee or the way my hand kept squeezing his upper thigh whenever I giggled. I wondered if he could tell I wasn't wearing any underwear. I enjoyed feeling the softness of his velvety trousers on my pussy lips. I babbled to him in kid talk, all the while bopping my legs in a ridiculous parody of a child. I could feel him getting a little uncomfortable with my increasingly obvious efforts at seduction. He tried to shift his weight to get his crotch further back from my hand, but I just reached farther under his belly until the edge of my hand was pressing into the side of his growing erection.“Uh, Santa's getting a little uncomfortable, Virginia. Maybe you could stand for a while.”“Okay Santa, I stand up.” I said with an obscenely cute little giggle. Then I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled myself up so I was standing with my feet on top of his knees. By that time I'd kicked off my shoes. He didn't know what to do. I basically had my crotch a few inches above his face.“Oh, look Santa,” I said and then pulled the front of my skirt up, so he could see through his little round glasses that I wasn't wearing any panties. He was looking right at my totally shaven pussy, which was open and glistening wet. His eyes opened wide. He backed up into his chair, but he couldn't take his eyes off the delicate flower hovering temptingly just a few inches from his cherry red nose. He froze. Stunned. His arms were sticking straight out to the left and right. He didn't know what to do with them.“Kiss me, Santa. Kiss me on the lips,” I whined petulantly. I'd never done this with a Santa before, but there was something special about this one. I moved my pussy closer to his face until he could smell the cinnamon scented perfume I'd anointed myself with. The fold on top of my clitoris touched his nose, but he didn't kiss me, so I put one foot up on his shoulder and pressed my pussy fully into his face. I could feel the tingly softness of his moustache on my labia. He groaned a deep lingering groan that vibrated into the depths of my vagina. His tense body relaxed, and a moment later I felt his tongue slip inside me. It was a transcendent moment of pure bliss. He began licking and lapping me, and now his gloved hands were on my naked ass, and now they were running up under my sweater to cup my breasts (I wasn't wearing a bra this time). Oh, boy, I loved the sensation of those soft leather gloves on my naked flesh. They had fur cuffs that tickled my belly as he fondled me.His tongue, his long thick tongue, was deep inside me. He began nodding, so his rosy red nose could flick my clitoris. Oh, Santa. So wise in the ways of love. I knew he was an ancient soul, perhaps thousands of years old. I guess you can learn a lot if you have that much time to practice.I felt a wave of pleasure so intense and overwhelming that I began to moan, “Oh fuck! Santa! Lick my pussy! Lick my wet pussy! Oh fuck yeah!!!” I was no longer pretending to be a little girl. I was a woman. I got louder and louder until my voice morphed into wordless shrieks of orgasmic ecstasy.I heard the elves pounding at the door. I knew I was running out of time so I hopped off his legs onto the floor. I pulled and yanked at his pants. It made his butt slide forward to the front of the throne. The pants must have been a little loose, because they slid right off, exposing his ten-inch cock. It was so pale, it seemed to emit a magical glow.He looked down at me, proud to show me his cock. His sweet old face now had an expression of pure carnal desire. He said, “What do you want for Christmas, little girl?”I hopped sideways onto Santa's lap and said, “I want you to fuck me, Santa!”He lifted me with one arm under the small of my back and the other under my thighs. Then he lowered me onto his big hard cock with his strong, sure hands, finding my pussy with the first try.“Fuck!” he yelled hoarsely as his cock entered me. He was so big and long! I was so tight! But we fit together perfectly.“Oh!” I moaned, feeling every inch of him penetrate me. Then he began to lift me up and down on his cock. So strong! So sure! I lifted my sweater up to my chin so Santa could see my tits bounce as he fucked me. I hadn't shown them to any of the other Santas. But I wanted this Santa, the truly real and only Santa, to see every inch of me. He looked down at my perky, round breasts, his eyes wild with lust. He leaned forward and took my hard nipple into his mouth. The feel of his beard tickling my skin drove me wild. All the time he was impaling me on his cock with amazing strength, as if I were weightless.“Oh shit,” I groaned loudly, “Fuck me, Santa! Fuck my tight little pussy! Oh god, your cock is so big! Oh god, oh god, oh god… I'm cumming! I'm cumming!”I trembled in the most powerful orgasm of my life (up to that time), and he kept fucking me, ignoring the pounding of the elves. The door started to bend, but it held.He shouted, “No, don't come in! I'm perfectly fine! Go away!”He stood up and put my feet on the seat of the throne with my back to him. I crouched down, offering him my pretty little tushie. I was just low enough for his cock to slide up into my pussy. Oh god, he felt twice as long this way! The head of Santa's cock reached all the way into me and pressed against my womb. It hurt, but I could barely feel the pain through the haze of pleasure that filled my body from head to toe. And now he began thrusting himself in and out of me with an ancient power he must have inherited from the gods of old. He had one strong hand on my shoulder, the other on my waist. He fucked me with growing speed and firmness, and within half a minute, he shot the magic of Christmas deep inside me.“Oh yeah, Santa, fill me up! Fill me up with your sperm!! I want to have your babies!!!!”I think that last statement may have shocked him back to his senses. Either that or the act of cumming did the trick. Either way, he let go of me, stumbled backwards, tripped on his own drawers and fell sprawling on his back. Cum was still shooting out of his cock.That's when the elves broke open the door. There were four or five of them, with a couple of female security guards right behind. They saw everything, including Santa's naked cock shooting a jet of semen two feet into the air. And there I was, a young slip of a thing, standing with my back to him on the throne, torso turned watching him fall. My sweater and skirt were still pulled up, so the elves pretty much saw everything I'd been hiding from people most of my life.I don't know about you, but if I saw a scene like that, it would inspire years of masturbation fantasies. Not nightmares, like the elves later said in their depositions.But things were about to get worse… I was staring down at Santa, his head scrunched uncomfortably against the far wall. To my shock and massive disappointment, I could see the fat pad sticking out from under the tails of his red velvet coat. And I could see his real belly button. He was thin, with ripped abdominal muscles. Then I noticed how trim and muscular his legs were. And his silvery beard… it was peeling off around the edges.Dang. I didn't even need to give him the eggnog test. He was obviously a fake. His hair and beard and glowing skin were just makeup. And the dignity, wisdom and magic he had been exuding when I first entered the room were just parts of a practiced performance that he'd run on a million kids and adults before me. This guy wasn't old, fat, or wise! He was the worst fake of all. And I'd told this joker that I wanted to have his babies! I was disgusted! Well… not entirely. He'd fucked me better than any of them (my pussy zinged for hours afterwards). Still, I felt betrayed by the whole Christmas industry, which had tricked me into thinking this young college thespian was the real Santa.I pulled down my sweater and skirt. The Christmas party was over.To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Software is unique: when it works as it should, no one thinks twice about it. But the moment there's a hiccup or delay, it becomes an issue.Building software that consistently runs seamlessly, while integrating additional features to create an “all-in-one” solution that's easy to use? That's nearly impossible.Kudos to Chris Violas and the Blaze team for achieving just that. Leveraging his AWS background, Chris has created a software environment that boasts an impressive 99.1% customer satisfaction score.The infrastructure may not be the sexiest part of software, but it's the foundation everything else is built on. Much like adding a second level to a house, it can either be a smooth process or a massive headache, depending on the strength of the foundation.This week, we sit down with Chris Violas to discuss:What most people don't know about software in cannabis.Infrastructure and the connection to customer success.Acquisitions, ecosystems, and the evolution of “all-in-one” solutions.About Blaze:A complete cannabis software suite designed to streamline and scale dispensary operations. BLAZE powers every aspect of your retail business with an intuitive point-of-sale, advanced inventory management, built-in loyalty, native e-commerce, and integrated cashless payments. Our goal is to provide a cohesive ecosystem that allows dispensaries to offer an exceptional shopping experience for customers.when we talk mission critical infrastructure, like our system, like it's not okay just to have a lag. We have someone in front of the point of sale, like literally pushing buttons and wanting to check out. And so there's just no space for issues.it's nice to have a storefront, but the reality is it is like 80% more efficient on so many levels to fulfill an online order than to have someone walk around with someone in store and hold their hand. Key Topics DiscussedChris's Entrepreneurial Journey (00:01:35)Started in college after breaking his wristLaunched a dispensary with his father during senior yearTransitioned to technology after realizing software could solve operational challengesBlaze's Technology Infrastructure (00:08:29)Focus on mission-critical, stable infrastructureDesigned with redundancy and performance in mindSeparating production and reporting databasesCompliance and Innovation Challenges (00:23:22)Navigating state-by-state regulatory variationsDeveloping solutions like Metric Retail ID for product serializationPotential time and cost savings for retailersPayment and E-commerce Strategies (00:49:51)Pushing towards more efficient online orderingImproving average order value through e-commerceExploring payment solutions in different marketsSocial Impact Initiative (00:42:23)Launching Blaze Cares partnership with SickKids Hospital in CanadaImplementing donation roundup program for retailers Guest Links:https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisviolas/https://www.blaze.me/https://www.linkedin.com/company/goblaze/https://x.com/blazecannabishttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1ag_Kpjm6G8IAOaK8iTcIAOur Links Bryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

Do you hate me? Only a little. Like, really? I hate you. I knew it. Yeah. I knew it, too. At the end of the darkened stage, the two actors sit in matching overalls; red and white plaid shirts tucked underneath and brown work boots; another spotlight stage right opens on a third actor, who crosses the stage; she dawns the same attire. The train is coming! The audience begins to roar with applause as the third actor enters the stage, almost preventing her from delivering her line—she projects over the audience's upheaval. What the fuck is this? Whatever it is. Though we [the audience] are watching a film, this appears to be a staged play in a large upscale theater—a full house. {enter the multiverse} HANZEL HELLO PARTY PEOPLE. … I ZED HELLO PARTY PEOPLE. The boy walks in with 18 shotguns to his head, and I tell ya— he doesn't even blink. The best part. (Well, he does blink.) Well, yeah, but he's not— He didn't wince or anything. I didn't wince or anything, did I? I don't know, did you? Roll the tape. Just do it again. Take 1077. [The Festival Project ™] A man is submerged under the water in an oversized bathtub—the water crystal clear, he opens his eyes before beginning to emerge— as he reaches the surface, gasping for air; everything changes around him; he is no longer in a bathtub, rather in bed, drenched in sweat, and even his hair dripping. The time is 3 AM; he heavily pants and places his hand over his chest, trying to catch his breath for a moment before he grips his head in great distress; absolute silence in peril. The room is dark, a crude antique looking place; a gold framed bed adorned with blue sheets and maroon pillows, a matching taffeta comforter, which matches the drapes and the lace in the curtains, and the lamp, which he flickers on, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and pausing for a moment to collect himself before rising out of bed. He starts a bath, turning the knob for the most intensely hot water possible, and we can see that this place is very old—some type of early 19th century cottage. The water still running, he moves to the kitchen to pour a glass of water, the floorboards appearing as if they should creak but still otherwise silent besides the running tub— without a motion at all, however, nor even simply a shadow, a figure appears behind the man. Hello, Jimmy. The glass falls almost in slow motion to the floor, shattering with the water, though only half full, still in it. Lol what the fuck is going on in this movie. Oh, it's a movie?! Shhhh! I thought this was a show. Yeah, but there's a movie between seasons. How many seasons are there 4. 7. 10. ?! ‍♀️ ‍♂️ ‍ L E G E N D S I am an extraordinary artist. Oh. Hey Amanda. “Hey Amanda?!” “Hey Amanda?!” Yeah, hi. I've been trying to contact you for months, and all I get is a “hey Amanda?!” I've been feeling… off. OFF?! Very. I did this for us. …remind me the nature of our relationship exactly. Light and truth! Oh, the Illuminati. I don't know what you're talking about. Just making sure we weren't lesbians. Lesbians! How can we be?! You and I have been submerged in increasingly seperate dimensions entirely. How is that? I heard—you were getting famous. From a seperate dimention entirely? Yes, that. And otherwise! I take it you've been doing some time traveling. Yes, that! Careful of mirrors. You'll have to excuse me, I'm—obviously hallucinating. I'm also hallucinating, decently. That's..a facinating relief. Is it? Better than a diarrheal release. Okay, that's—disgusting. But also a fascinating relief. I'm astounded that out of any connection you could possibly think to be making. I don't think. I just—hallucinate. That's…just how I vibrating. This disasterous apathy is starting to unsettle me? Have you tried tap dancing? What. Works for me. What?! Just try it. [amanda bynes does a short tap number, ending in jazz hands and then pausing briefly] [beat] You know what, you're right. See. I do feel better. Time travel things. It would be you who knows things like these. It is. [she checks the cabinet] Where's the cake? You're baking it. Amanda checks her watch, then peering into the kitchen—it appears a seperate version of herself, perhaps even her future self has (or past self, considering she wonders where the already finished cake might be) read: alternate self— {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

We found another one, y'all.

Kiva's products now reach 80% of the U.S. population.Think about that for a second.It's a testament to how far the cannabis industry has come and the progress being made. But, as with anything in the cannabis space, there are complexities, caveats, and unique challenges.For instance, in some markets, consumers can access products directly through D2C channels or dispensaries. While these channels can complement each other and drive brand loyalty, the rise of D2C may also create tension with retailers, who were once the sole point of purchase.This week, we sit down with Colin Keeler to break it all down and discuss: Hemp & Cannabis Strategy Minor cannabinoids they are testingInnovations & Consumer Preferences Guest Links https://www.kivaconfections.com/https://shopkivaconfections.com/https://x.com/kivaconfectionshttps://www.instagram.com/madebykiva/ Chapters:Introduction and Guest Background (00:00:00) - Bryan Fields introduces Colin Keeler from Kiva, and they discuss Colin's background. Colin shares his journey from investment banking to the cannabis industry, including a brief stint in psychedelic biotech.Kiva's Business Development Strategy (00:02:18) - Colin explains Kiva's approach to expanding into new markets, focusing on their strategy of targeting sizeable markets, working with partners, and being an early mover in different states.Product Innovation and Market Expansion (00:08:14) - The discussion centers on Kiva's product-led approach, highlighting their innovations in edibles like chocolate bars, gummies, and their focus on effects-driven products.Hemp Market Exploration (00:14:31) - Colin discusses Kiva's entry into the hemp market, explaining their cautious approach and how they're navigating the different regulatory landscapes across states.Pricing and Distribution Challenges (00:26:46) - The conversation explores the complexities of pricing in cannabis and hemp markets, including the challenges of maintaining consistent pricing across different states.Innovation and Future Outlook (00:33:09) - Colin talks about Kiva's focus on innovation, particularly around dosage, minor cannabinoids, and creating products that meet consumer wellness needs.Rapid-Fire Questions (00:42:05) - The hosts ask Colin a series of quick, fun questions about his dream smoking session, unique perspectives, and predictions for the edible market.  Our LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

Humans are noisy. The National Park Service estimates that all of our whirring, grinding, and revving machines are doubling or even tripling global noise pollution every 30 years. A lot of that noise is negatively affecting wildlife and human health. Maybe that's why we're so consumed with managing our sonic environments, with noise-cancelling headphones and white noise machines — and sometimes, we get into spats with our neighbors, as one of our guests did…So for this episode, producer Jeongyoon Han takes us on an exploration of three sonic landscapes: noise, silence, and something in between. Featuring Rachel Buxton, Jim Connell, Stan Ellis, Mercede Erfanian, Nora Ma, and Rob Steadman.This episode originally aired  in July, 2023.SUPPORTOutside/In is made possible with listener support. Click here to become a sustaining member. Subscribe to our newsletter to get occasional emails about new show swag, call-outs for listener submissions, and other announcements.Follow Outside/In on Instagram or X, or join our private discussion group on Facebook. LINKSBehavioral ecologist Miya Warrington and her colleagues found that Savannah sparrows changed the tune of their love songs as a result of noisy oil fields in Alberta, Canada (The New York Times)Bats have changed their day-to-day habits because of traffic noise, according to research conducted in the U.K.Natural sounds are proven to improve health, lower stress, and have positive effects on humans. Rachel Buxton and her colleagues wrote about that in their study from 2021.Erica Walker's organization, the Community Noise Lab, monitors noise levels in Boston, Providence, and Jackson, Mississippi. You can read more about her work in this article from Harvard Magazine.Are you interested in going to a Quiet Parks International-designated quiet park? The organization has a list of spaces across the world that they've certified. Here's a radio story from NPR that serves as an homage to John Cage's 4'33”. If you were ever curious about why bird songs are good for you… This article from the Washington Post should be on the top of your reading list!This New Yorker piece from 2019 outlines how noise pollution might be the next public health crisis. Since that article, there's been even more research showing that noise can take years off of our lives. So, you've heard lots of sounds in this episode. But do you want to see what sounds look like? Click here — and this is not clickbait!Ethan Kross, who is a psychologist and neuroscientist, wrote a whole book about noise — the noise in your head, to be precise. It's called Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.Mercede Erfanian's research into misophonia and soundscapes is fascinating. You can hear her speak on the subject of different kinds of sounds in a show aired from 1A, or watch her presentation on the effects that soundscapes have on humans. CREDITSHost: Nate HegyiReported and produced by Jeongyoon HanMixed by Jeongyoon Han and Taylor QuimbyEdited by Taylor Quimby, with help from Nate Hegyi, Jessica Hunt, and Felix PoonExecutive producer: Rebecca LavoieSpecial thanks toMusic by Blue Dot Sessions, Edvard Grieg, and Mike Franklyn.Our theme music is by Breakmaster Cylinder.Outside/In is a production of New Hampshire Public Radio.If you've got a question for the Outside/Inbox hotline, give us a call! We're always looking for rabbit holes to dive down into. Leave us a voicemail at: 1-844-GO-OTTER (844-466-8837). Don't forget to leave a number so we can call you back.

Sometimes, you need to go the extra mile to make a point—like buying every medicine at CVS to show regulators that medicine can, and often does, have flavor. Sensible regulations should be rooted in logic, not outdated prohibition fears or baseless stigmas. If cannabis is legalized, it should be treated like any other industry, not one plagued by fear of being a shadowy boogeyman.This week, we sit down with Wendy Bronfein to dive into:Key Differences Between Maryland and Missouri's Cannabis MarketsEmerging Marketing Trends and Customer-Focused StrategiesInnovative Crohn's Disease Research and Product Development...and so much more. Chapters:Introduction and Background (00:00:00) - Brian and Kellen introduce their guest Wendy Bronfein, co-founder of Cura Wellness. Wendy shares her background in the television industry and how she transitioned into the cannabis space.Early Days of Maryland Cannabis (00:01:15) - Wendy discusses how her family became involved in the Maryland medical cannabis market, including their trip to Colorado and the process of applying for a license in 2015.Launching Curio Wellness (00:02:47) - The company won a license, built their facility, and became operational in 2017, shipping to licensed dispensaries in December of that year.Transition to Adult Use (00:03:07) - Maryland transitioned from medical to adult-use cannabis in July, with Wendy explaining the regulatory changes and market dynamics.Product Innovation and Research (00:33:59) - Curio Wellness discusses their approach to product development, including specialized products for sleep, mood, and potential medical treatments like a Crohn's disease tablet.Marketing Challenges and Regulations (00:25:16) - Wendy explains the marketing restrictions in Maryland compared to Missouri, highlighting the challenges of advertising in the cannabis industry.Personal Insights and Closing (00:42:33) - The interview concludes with personal questions about Wendy's dream smoking session, her views on branding, and her favorite ice cream. Guest Linkshttps://curiowellness.com/https://x.com/curiowellnesshttps://www.instagram.com/curiowellnessbrand/https://www.linkedin.com/company/curio-wellness/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeT6Sut8Wsi4Xr_o9uq0edQhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/wbronfein/Our LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

How many of you know that the post-harvest process is just as critical—or even more so—than cultivation for preserving terpenes and cannabinoids?While cultivation is often in the spotlight, the post-harvest process is essential to maintaining quality in cannabis. This week on The Dime, we sit down with Jack Grover, co-founder of Grove Bags, to explore how post-harvest techniques can make or break the final product.Jack explains the importance of managing terpenes, moisture levels, and environmental conditions to keep cannabis potent and aromatic long after harvest. Discover how Terploc technology and thoughtful post-harvest strategies can prevent profit loss, extend shelf life, and elevate product quality in a competitive market.This week we sit down with Jack Grover to discuss TerpLoc® technologyWhat you don't know about Water contentPost-harvest Terpene strategiesKey Topics DiscussedJack's background and entry into the cannabis industry (00:00:11 - 00:01:37)The importance of post-harvest curing and optimization (00:01:37 - 00:07:54)The science behind terpene profiles and their impact on the consumer experience (00:07:54 - 00:14:23)Challenges around cannabis testing and regulation (00:14:23 - 00:16:41)The global cannabis market and international trade (00:16:41 - 00:19:32)Lessons learned in business and the cannabis industry (00:19:32 - 00:20:54)Guest Links:https://grovebags.com/https://www.instagram.com/grovebags/https://www.linkedin.com/company/grove-bagshttps://x.com/grovebags Our LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

Clones, tissue culture, gen-zero cloning—cultivation science dictates both the health, effects, and financial return on each cannabis plant. This week, we're diving deep to understand how these techniques work and why they're game-changers for the cannabis industry.We sit down with Kristian Andreassen from Conception Nurseries to explore:Gen-zero vs. gen-oneImpact on genetic resets on yield & qualityConception Nurseries' commitment to breeder rightshttps://www.linkedin.com/company/conceptionnurseries/https://conceptionnurseries.com/https://www.instagram.com/conceptionnurseriesMain Topics Discussed:Khristian's background and introduction to the cannabis industry (00:00:11 - 00:01:37)What is tissue culture and how does it work? (00:08:50 - 00:10:54)The benefits of tissue culture for cultivators (00:10:54 - 00:14:12)Conception Nurseries' "Gen Zero" tissue culture process (00:14:12 - 00:17:41)Conception's focus on breeder rights and royalties (00:37:19 - 00:39:05)Trends and predictions for the future of tissue culture in cannabis (00:49:43 - 00:51:52)Our LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

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Not to be confused with "The Silent Treatment," the power of attentive silence is about active, intent listening without trying to fix the problem. It can be hard to hold your tongue, but your job is to hold a safe space, show you care so your child or loved one can share their thoughts and emotions. You'll be surprised how the communication will connect more authentically. After all, people don't care what you know, they want to know you care. Learn more at drskyler.net and sign up for a FREE Download about the Healing Phases your child is going through.

SHHHH....... This episode Blaze and Jeff reviews and provides commentary on the Val Kilmer comedy film, Top Secret. With special guest Chaka. Enjoy the laughs and thanks for listening.

With over 100 million visits a year, 1.3 million product reviews, and millions of orders, Leafly stands at the unique crossroads of cannabis consumers, brands, and retailers. Navigating the diverse challenges across states, highlighting brand leaders, and adapting to shifting consumer needs, Leafly's content flywheel isn't just powerful—it's predictive. By harnessing insights from every digital interaction, Leafly crafts timely, relevant content that educates consumers at every stage of their journey.This week, we sit down with Leafly CEO Yoko Miyashita to discuss:How the content flywheel worksLeafly's value to the cannabis ecosystemEducating consumers and tackling new marketsKey Topics DiscussedYoko's background and how she found her way into the cannabis industry (00:01:22)The importance of compliance and regulation in the legal cannabis industry (00:04:28)How Leafly aims to educate consumers and connect them with retailers/brands (00:07:04)Challenges around data, product information, and the consumer experience (00:09:50)Leafly's relationship and initiatives with budtenders (00:11:19)Navigating the differences between hemp and cannabis products (00:37:07)Emerging consumer trends and the future outlook for the industry (00:58:35)Guest Linkshttps://www.leafly.com/linkedin.com/company/leaflylinkedin.com/in/yokomiyashitahttps://www.instagram.com/heyleaflyhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqVnkns6Gf3W7J9zWZE4EqAhttps://x.com/leaflyOur LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

"Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way." — Daniele VareAre we underestimating the role cannabis could play in shaping global influence? U.S. brands have historically had global appeal, but could cannabis open the door to new trade opportunities and strategic value on an international scale? Who will lead these global negotiations when the U.S. is still struggling with a state-by-state approach?Can state-level influence accelerate global change, and what would the timeline for such a shift look like?This week, we sit down with Hirsh Jain to explore these critical questions and more.Cannabis Shifting Global PoliciesKey Red States to Watch The Role of Soft Power in Shaping International Cannabis Policy Key Topics Discussed:Hirsh's background and journey into the cannabis industry (00:02:06 - 00:06:05)The United States' potential to influence global cannabis policy and legalization (00:06:41 - 00:14:32)The importance of state-level legalization progress in the U.S. and its impact on federal action (00:14:44 - 00:18:28)Predictions on key states to watch for future legalization efforts (00:18:29 - 00:20:01)The role of hemp products and their impact on the cannabis industry (00:38:22 - 00:45:04)The responsibility of the cannabis industry and public health authorities to educate on cannabis (00:45:19 - 00:49:10)Hirsh's "dream smoking session" with three historical figures (00:49:18 - 00:50:31)Hirsh's contrarian view that regulators need to be held more accountable (00:50:37 - 00:51:20)The potential for the U.S. to leverage cannabis legalization for strategic international alliances (00:51:48 - 00:53:26)About Hirsh Jain Hirsh Jain is the Founder of Ananda Strategy, a strategy consultancy which advises leading cannabis brands, retailers, ancillary technology businesses and venture capital funds in the United States, Canada and Western Europe. Hirsh also serves as Vice Chair of the Cannabis Chamber of Commerce, which aims to promote the common interests of cannabis businesses by advocating for sound public policy and facilitating collaborations between cannabis operators. In addition, Hirsh is on the Board of Directors of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) in California, which for fifty years has been working to reform California's cannabis laws. Prior to working in cannabis, Hirsh was the Global Policy Lead at Airbnb in San Francisco. Before that, he worked as an Engagement Manager at McKinsey & Company in New York City. Hirsh has a B.A. in Philosophy from UC Berkeley, and a J.D. from Harvard Law School.Guest Links Hirsh Jain (@anandastrategy) on Xhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/hirsh-jain/Instagram (@anandastrategy)Link about Bayard Rustin Our LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

Humbling… How many times have we thought catalysts were on the way, only to find out at the last minute it was just a pawn or a negotiation tactic?The question remains for optimists like myself: Is the thesis still intact? Yes, but the timing was off. A hard lesson learned—never count on DC for simple, sound decisions on a reasonable timeline.Let's revisit the thesis.Gone are the days of unicorns, but we're now in a phase where challenges persist, and change could come quickly. Optimist Bryan is still holding on.How do you balance emotional attachment with a clear perspective on the investment thesis, recognizing these businesses are moving in the right direction and poised to explode?This week, we sat down with Jesse Redmond to revisit this thesis and explore exactly that.Cannabis Investing: A Generational Opportunity?Pick & Shovel Strategies vs. MSOs in CannabisBalancing Political Catalysts and Investment ApproachTopics Discussed:Jesse's background and path into the cannabis industry (00:02:05)The current state of the cannabis investment thesis and opportunities ahead (00:06:18)The potential impact of catalysts like Florida going adult-use and Schedule 3 rescheduling (00:09:37)The relationship and dynamics between the cannabis and hemp industries (00:18:57)Strategies for investing in the cannabis space, including ETFs and specialized companies (00:22:03)The importance of understanding the "why" behind being involved in the cannabis industry (00:59:55)Jesse's predictions for the next 12 months in the cannabis market (01:04:14)About Jesse Redmond is the Managing Director at Water Tower Research where I cover cannabis and natural products. Before this, I founded two hedge funds and a leading California cannabis collective. I began my career at Franklin Templeton, was an early employee of Fisher Investments, and spent a decade co-managing multiple hedge funds. In this role, I allocated more than $1 billion to hedge fund strategies and conducted more than 1,000 due diligence visits around the world.In 2016, I founded a dispensary outside of Santa Barbara, California, that became number one in its region. In 2020, I founded Higher Calling Consulting, where he helped investors find the best cannabis investments. Through these experiences, I bring a unique perspective to the sectors I cover.In addition to publishing written research, I'm the co-host of The Water Tower Hour and Higher Exchanges podcasts.Guest Links https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesseredmond/https://www.watertowerresearch.com/sector/12https://x.com/jesseredmondhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-exchanges/id1710898583Our LinksBryan Fields on Twitter Kellan Finney on Twitter The Dime on Twitter At Eighth Revolution (8th Rev), we provide services from capital to cannabinoid and everything in between in the cannabinoid industry.8th Revolution Cannabinoid Playbook is an Industry-leading report covering the entire cannabis supply chain The Dime is a top 5% most shared  global podcast The Dime has a New Website. Shhhh its not finished. The Dime is a top 50 Cannabis Podcast Sign up for our playbook here:

Who is growing a media empire based on international teaching? Who loves going to recruiting conferences? And who writes entire books in a weekend? The answer, of course, is our fellow podcasting buddy Greg Lemoine. Greg wrote a follow-up to his award-winning (we awarded it a gold star) first book, “Finding the Right Fit: Your Professional Guide for International Educator Recruiting Fairs and Amazing Stories of a Teacher Living Overseas.” His second book is “International Teaching: The Best-kept Secret in Education”. In this episode, we took a peek at some of those secrets. Greg also publishes the International Teacher Podcast with his partners, rounding out the offerings of his content creation empire.  The Guiding Question for this episode was: What tips, strategies, and takeaways can you share from your new book, International Teaching: The Best-kept Secret in Education? Here are a few of the topics Greg addressed in this episode: Choosing the title of the bookWhat going digital means for international educatorsPartnering with recruiting agencies and attending their fairsMaking connectionsDodging pitfalls and dragon fire in international classrooms with grace and good humorGreg's Contact Information: The International Teacher podcast is available on all podcasting platforms. Contact Greg and his podcasting partners at internationalteacherpodcast@gmail.com.Resources Mentioned in the Episode:Greg's Personal-Professional WebsiteInternational Teacher PodcastFinding the Right Fit: Your Professional Guide for International Educator Recruiting Fairs and Amazing Stories of a Teacher Living OverseasInternational Teaching: The Best-kept Secret in EducationThe show was recorded on August 15, 2024.Category: Recruiting Remember to access our Educators Going Global website for more information or to subscribe to our newsletter!Email us with comments or suggestions at educatorsgoingglobal@gmail.com Follow us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram or YouTube.Listen on your favorite podcast app: connect from our share page.Music: YouTube. (2022). Acoustic Guitar | Folk | No copyright | 2022❤️. YouTube. Retrieved October 11, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOEmg_6i7jA.

Shhhh! This is A Quiet Place! Which is the name of the movie we're talking about. Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one mercs a toddler in the first 10 minutes. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Timestamps: Intro - 00:00 Audience Review - 1:07 First Watch - 3:55 What Have We Been Watching? - 8:05 Film Talk - 11:04 Closing Thoughts - 1:11:58 Follow or contact us at: twitter.com/the3rdonesucks the3rdonesucks@gmail.com https://letterboxd.com/dellismulligan Mixed and Hosted by Mark Beall and Dan Ellis. Edited by Mark Beall. Intro/Outro Music by Dan Ellis. The 3rd One Sucks is a Retrograde Orbit Radio production. Find more great shows like this at www.retrogradeorbitradio.com

Savanna and special guests from Colorescience have a BIG secret to tell...you don't want to miss this episode! SHHHH!Shop here now!

SHHHH!!!! Guys, we're excited for this season's final episode, too, but c'mon the giant mutated ear drum monsters are going to hear you! Also, did anyone have Pootie Tang on their monster movie bingo card? No? Us neither. As always, thank you to our fans! We'll be back soon with more new episodes in the near future! Spotify..........: @HorrorbleFriends Apple............: @HorrorbleFriends Anchor.fm.....: @horrorble-friends Instagram......: @HorrorbleFriends Email..............: horrorblefriends@gmail.com Or just check out www.tugcon.com. No, we are not lying. As always, thanks to those who support us: Intro/Outro Music.....: Andrew Kavanagh | andrewkavanagh.bandcamp.com | www.facebook.com/andrew.m.kavanagh Audio and Editing: Jarvis --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/horrorble-friends/support

The world is a busy place, and we all know a good thing when we taste (and smell) it...and my next guest, Jonathan Pastore and his company Bean2Bean Coffee, is here to help you keep up with life's demanding pace. Jonathan is no stranger to the allure of a rich, dark brew--he started out working in the culinary industry since he was a youth. His passion for the industry grew stronger as he moved onto college, learning the business behind marketing food and beverage companies. Today, his passion for an eye-opening cup-o-joe filtered into providing locals a comforting cup through both the Bean2Bean Cafe, located inside of Billy Penn Studios and to anyone interested in buying their products wholesale. But our focus wasn't limited to that--tune in to hear from Jonathan what else is brewing for this coming September--you'll be barking up the right tree if you do!My next guest who is the Owner of Lost Worlds Brewing Company, David Hamme, joined Food Farms and Chefs to talk about how he transitioned from his career as a successful business consultant to also owning his own brewing company. His forward-thinking brand has earned him recognition from his surrounding community. Not only for what he has on-tap, but also for all he did to establish Lost Worlds Brewing as the go-to location for night's out, markets, community involvement, and a fun way to learn a bit of history when you visit. With three locations in North Carolina, there's every reason to check out David's entertaining and engaging brewery...and let's not forget to taste whatever strikes your fancy on his beer list!Lastly, I spoke with someone whose upbeat personality only adds to the sweetness you'll experience when visiting CJ's Sweet Palace in Glenside, PA. Co-owner Janelle White joined me on the show, discussing all things Philly but with a twist: Think water ice, ice cream, Philly Pretzels, and an interesting take on a City Wide Special. If that doesn't entice your sweet tooth, then perhaps one of their fresh-baked cookies can! But I don't want to spoil all the fun. Stay tuned while Janelle describes what CJ's offers and enjoy a sweet ending to this week's episode of Food Farms and Chefs!

A quick thought on pausing the news cycle for our own mental well-being...

HT1921 - The Still Image In an age in which life seems to be progressing at an ever faster pace, the still image/photograph is having a difficult time competing. I have no doubt that it's only a matter of time before we visit the Louvre and have an AI generated personal conversation with the Mona Lisa herself. Forget I said that. Shhhh. Don't give them any ideas.

 The summer sleep away camp for youths is held on the Island of UTOYA every single summer. About 500 teenagers will gather on the wooded island. They sleep in tents, have bonfires, and tell creepy stories while roasting marshmallows. But when the kids start playing games - that's usually when the fun starts. Card games, tag, hide and seek - A group of 11 teenagers were lying down in the grass right off the “Lover's Path.” “Here lay down right here and don't move. Shhhh. Act like you're dead.” If a single one of them sneezes, coughs, or so much as moves - their covers are blown. They hear the footsteps getting nearer on the path… closer… One of the 11 looks up. There is a young guy, blonde hair, striking blue eyes - just standing over them. She makes eye contact with him… he lifts his hand up and a black rifle appears. He opens fire. Out of the 11. 10 will die. 1 will survive. Another 59 on the island will be killed within the hour. There is a mad gunman on the loose on an island full of teenagers. Full Source Notes: rottenmangopodcast.com To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices