Southern Lady Code

“We’re not everyone’s cup of tea” is Southern Lady Code for “We are great friends and sometimes our overt love for each other and our shared history and current interests can be super annoying to people.” In the Season 1 finale, Helen talks about the strong bond between her and her dearest friends and finds writing workshops enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife. Her collection of funny essays, SOUTHERN LADY CODE, is available for preorder. And, yes, she reads the audiobook. Come see Helen on tour! - 4/6: San Antonio Book Festival in San Antonio, TX - 4/15 at 7:30pm: Books Are Magic in Brooklyn, NY - 4/16 at 5:00pm: Alabama Booksmith in Birmingham, AL - 4/17 at 7:30pm: Dallas Museum of Art in Dallas, TX - 4/18 at 6:30pm: Murder by the Book in Houston, TX - 4/24 at 5:00pm: Lemuria Bookstore in Jackson, MS - 4/25 at 6:00pm: Square Books in Oxford, MS - 4/27 at 6:00pm: Avid Bookshop in Athens, GA - 4/29 at 7:00pm: Margaret Mitchell House in Atlanta, GA - 4/30 at 11:30am: Ingram in Nashville, TN - 4/30 at 6:30pm: Parnassus Books in Nashville, TN - 5/1: Garden District Book Shop in New Orleans, LA - 5/2 at 6:00pm: Page & Palette in Fairhope, Alabama - 5/5 at 3:00pm: Tuxedo Park Library in Tuxedo Park, NY - 5/11-12: Wordplay Festival in Minneapolis, MN

 “She has a presence” is Southern Lady Code for “She scares the crap out of me.” Helen basks in the glory of powerful, accomplished women and finds passive aggressive accessories enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife. Her collection of funny essays, SOUTHERN LADY CODE, is available for preorder.  And, yes, she reads the audiobook. 

“They’re a good fit” is Southern Lady Code for “Opposites attract.” Helen finds that the best couples are opposites and finds easy, cheesy Valentines enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife. Her collection of funny essays, SOUTHERN LADY CODE, is available for preorder. And, yes, she reads the audiobook.

“She’s health conscious” is Southern Lady Code for “She Purell’s like a body builder oils up before taking the stage.” Helen breaks down the traits of health conscious people and finds delightful little colds enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife. Her collection of funny essays, SOUTHERN LADY CODE, is available for preorder. And, yes, she reads the audiobook.

“As long as you’re reading, that’s what’s important” is Southern Lady Code for “I hate what you’re reading.” Helen encourages reading of any and all genres, and finds classic trashy books enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife. Her collection of funny essays, SOUTHERN LADY CODE, is available for preorder. And, yes, she reads the audiobook.

“She’s young” is Southern Lady Code for “Be thankful you’re not that age anymore." Helen learns to be patient with young women and finds water parks enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife. Her collection of funny essays, SOUTHERN LADY CODE, is available for preorder. And, yes, she reads the audiobook!

“He’s a night owl” is Southern Lady Code for “He does bad things in his workshop while we sleep.” Helen details the characteristics of a night owl and finds Jeffrey the Ghost enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

“She’s a character” is Southern Lady Code for “She’s a drunk.” Helen translates the phrase ”She’s a character” and finds harassing unsolicited callers enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

"We've met" is Southern Lady Code for: "I remember you because you were horrible to me, but you don't remember me because you're horrible to everyone." Helen Ellis recalls times she's said "We've met," and discusses the merits of realistic New Year’s resolutions. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

"Where are you going to hang it?" is Southern Lady Code for: "Is that art?" Helen Ellis has taxidermy regret and finds velour housecoats enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

“It’s not what we hoped for” is Southern Lady Code for: “This wine tastes like cat piss.” Helen translates the phrase “It’s not what we hoped for,” regales us with the story of a very strange ice cream sundae, and finds loaded baked potatoes enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

“Call me” is Southern Lady Code for: “Anything we text or email can be used against us in a court of law. Or get us socially ostracized. So let’s talk on the phone.” Helen stresses the importance of phone calls over texting when desiring to share secrets or gossip, and finds panty drawers enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

“Your home is so festive” is Southern Lady Code for: “I count 84 Elves on Shelves in your living room alone. Do you need a décor intervention?” Helen Ellis shares her love of holiday décor, the meaning behind “Your home is so festive,” and finds Southern Living vintage magazines enjoyable. Elf on a Shelf: https://www.elfontheshelf.com/ Mensch on a Bench: https://themenschonabench.com/ Southern Living Magazine: https://www.southernliving.com/ Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

“You don’t have to get me anything!” is Southern Lady Code for: “I don’t like what you like.” Helen Ellis translates the phrase “You don’t have to get me anything!” in the wake of holiday gift-giving and explains her affinity for classical music in taxi cabs. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

"Bless Your Heart" is Southern Lady Code for anything from: "Thank you for this funeral casserole" to the last thing you hear before being pushed from a moving car. Helen Ellis gives a variety of translations of "bless your heart" and finds radish mice enjoyable. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and on Instagram @AmericanHousewife.

Southern ladies have a code, and Helen Ellis is here to help you crack it. Look out for Southern Lady Code, a new podcast by Helen Ellis, coming to you on November 18th.