This is You - The Podcast

Hi everyone, "Life can happen - just because.  Accept what you have for the moment and learn to appreciate it." - Kate Maurice The above quote is a good reminder to just lean in when things feel difficult and to be okay with having to rearrange things when life does not go as expected. My beautiful baby boy is 5 months now and I had originally planned to launch season 2 of this podcast this month.  Unfortunately, having a 5 month old and the unpredictability that comes with it have made it really difficult.  So after much thought, I've decided to continue my hiatus until things have settled. I've actually already begun recording for season 2 and am really excited about the guests I'll be bringing on so stay tuned.  When I have a firm launch date, I'll post about it so continue to check the website and social media. In the meantime, you can always email me at thisisyoupodcast@gmail.com. Until next time...take care.PS: The audio file below is mostly for those who listen to the podcast on an app so they know about the hiatus as well.

Episode 9: This is my final episode of the season

Episode 8: In today's episode, I talk to long-time friend Jawad Shuaib who is the founder of Budget Electronics - a company he runs alongside his wife.  Jawad is an avid reader, and is interested in learning everything; from science, mathematics, economics to anthropology, philosophy, and religion.⠀ We explore character, how it develops, from where it's shaped and tackle a whole bunch of interesting questions like:⠀ Is character defined primarily before the age of 5 based on your parents and your environment?⠀ Is character the deep rooted stuff and personality a reflection of your changing perspectives?⠀ How easy or difficult is it to tell someone's character? What gives us clues or insight into it? ⠀ Why is it easier to say the bad things about us and so difficult for us to say the positives about ourselves?⠀ Do friendships based on perspective alone eventually wither? What keeps friendships together?⠀ Why is it so difficult to accept compliments?⠀ Is being emotionally intelligent a curse?⠀ Has Jawad hurt me in a profound way?⠀ How did watching Jurassic Park in 1994 play a huge role in how Jawad ended up being the way he is?⠀ What plays a stronger role, nurture vs. nature?⠀ What does it mean to deliberately parent?⠀ What is the balance between encouraging your kids in their interests and forcing them?⠀ and much, much more. We also invite you to listen to the episode and tell us what adjectives you would use to describe Jawad's character. It can be so hard to say positive things about ourselves, so what traits do you see in him?  Feel free to message me on Facebook, Instagram or email me your thoughts.  This conversation gets very philosophical. Jawad also recommends a bunch of books throughout the conversation which are linked here for your convenience! Recommended Books: Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn without Blowing It by Peggy Klaus  Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald Lord of the Flies by William Golding Mentioned Movies: Jurassic Park October Sky

Episode 7, Part 2: In today's episode, I continue my conversation with Jenn Taylor, Mom of 18 but switch gears a bit to focus on taking back control of our lives.  We continue the conversation with Jenn responding to my comment that each generation tries to do better than the generation before when it comes to parenting and how we can overcompensate at times without even realizing it.  Jenn talks about how she's very deliberate about how she chooses to parent, describes her eureka moment when she realized that the traditions she started with her family could be anything she wanted it to be and when she realized she does have control over her attitude and how much she let's the past influence her actions today.  We talk about the challenges of parenting in the current age of electronics and why it can be so hard to set rules and stick to them.  Jenn shares how she works backwards from what tools she wants her kids to have and then looks for ways to build them as well as how giving her daughter the choice to cut ties with her during a particularly challenging time actually led to her daughter opening up about how she was feeling and them coming closer together. In my mind, two quotes kept coming up, one is the serenity prayer, which I almost always butcher in the moment but goes like this: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." by Reinhold Niebuhr and "“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” by Carl Jung.   You can connect with Jenn by: Visiting her blog: Mom of 18  Listening to her podcast: The Naked Podcaster  Reading her memoir: Hello, My Name Is.... Warrior Princess Following her on Instagram and Facebook  To connect with me, feel free to message me on Instagram, Facebook or send me an email.  I'll actually be featured on Jenn's podcast in the upcoming weeks so check that out too!  

Episode 7, Part 1: How does trauma change us and how can people through the simplest of actions be our shining light? Today's guest is blogger, podcaster and virtual assistant, Jenn Taylor who is a mom of 18 kids as well as a published author. In this special 2 part episode, part 1 focuses on three influential people in Jenn's life: her third grade teacher, her mother and someone she lovingly refers to as her adopted dad. These three play a profound role in how Jenn chooses to parent her 18 kids and her blended family, how she establishes boundaries for herself and in experiencing as well as dealing with past trauma such as rape, infertility, molestation, and more.  Listen in to part 1 of this inspiring story.⠀⠀One quote that kept coming to mind in part 1 is by Mitch Albom from the 5 People You Meet in Heaven, he says: “All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” In part 1, Jenn talks about the imprints that are left on her but in part 2 (releases next week) she talks about how she repaired those past hurts and how takes back control of her life so that only she gets to define who she is today.⠀ You can connect with Jenn by: Visiting her blog: Mom of 18  Listening to her podcast: The Naked Podcaster  Reading her memoir: Hello, My Name Is.... Warrior Princess Following her on Instagram and Facebook 

Episode 6: What makes us who we are and how does who we are change when we move from one environment to a completely different one? How much of our identity is influenced by the places we live, the routines we have, the things we do? And if those routines and things are no longer an option...who do we become then? How do we hold on and let go at the same time?⠀ In this episode, I talk to Becky Hellwig, self-professed city girl from Silicon Valley who 3 years ago for various reasons moved from Silicon Valley to a small rural town in Germany. Feeling like a fish out of water, she talks about the challenges in transitioning from a big city to a rural village, how she felt so disconnected and her struggle to figure out how to keep who she was while embracing who she could be in this new environment. So much of what Becky equated with her identity was no longer an option. No one dressed up or went anywhere in rural Germany - there was no place to go. For a blogger who would go to big parties in Silicon Valley and served as a quasi-tour guide for people visiting the city, having nowhere to go really impacted her sense of belonging. Hear her story as she talks about her initial days, her life in Silicon Valley compared to rural Germany and what she ultimately had to do to embrace where she was instead of where she used to be.⠀

Episode 5: It's time for another solo episode!  For those who listened to Diary of 2 Middle Children (episodes 4, part 1 and part 2), you may remember that Sania and I talked about the myth of the linear path briefly.    What is the linear path? "The Linear Path is a worldview in which mastering perfectionism, progress and ever-exceeding improvement lead to success, security and happiness." - Daniëlle van de Kemenade⠀ Many of us have been brought up with this idea.  For me, I believed that if I followed all the steps "correctly", (went to school, got good grades, got a job, got married, etc.) then I would find happiness and success.  I believed that life proceeds in an orderly, linear fashion and I just need to find the magic formula and follow it to find success...and perhaps more importantly, avoid failure.  But in reality, this idea is a myth.  Careers are progressively more and more non-linear and happiness is not a final destination that we reach once we've surpassed enough milestones.  Have you ever felt that every time you reached a milestone, instead of celebrating it, you lamented that you hadn't reached the next milestone yet?  That used to be me.⠀   A few years ago, I realized that that 1) the linear path is a myth, success and happiness is not a straight line but a squiggly one that goes in every which direction, 2) there is no such thing as doing things "right", everyone follows a different path and what works for one person, doesn't work for another person, 3) every step we take is just a data point in our journey which will help us to make future decisions and learn from our failures and mistakes, it's not the end of the world and 4) no matter what you do, there is no way to avoid the risk of failure, making a mistake or defeat. What's important is to be in the arena: striving, risking and daring greatly.  Brené Brown talks more about being in the arena in her book Daring Greatly.  

Episode 4, Part 2: Have you ever gotten caught up in what concepts like "good", "honour" and "respect" mean? We have and what's been most puzzling is that it seems like everyone knows but us! Today's episode is Part 2 of Diary of 2 Middle Children where Sania and I pick up our conversation from last week and talk about being judged, pivotal moments in our life that changed how we view ourselves, giving ourselves permission to make our own choices, people-pleasing and our tendency to think that at some point, things would make sense. Spoiler alert: this never happens! We talk about loving and accepting who we are and what it means to be a good person. Further, how do we instill good values in our kids? We conclude with a question to the audience: are we just the sum of our actions or is there inherent goodness in all of us? Lastly, there's a call to action, if anything in this episode resonated with you, please comment on Istagram, Facebook, or send me an email at thisisyoupodcast@gmail.com, I'd love to hear from you.

Episode 4, Part 2: Have you ever gotten caught up in what concepts like "good", "honour" and "respect" mean?  We have and what's been most puzzling is that it seems like everyone knows but us! Today's episode is Part 2 of Diary of 2 Middle Children where Sania and I pick up our conversation from last week and talk about being judged, pivotal moments in our life that changed how we view ourselves, giving ourselves permission to make our own choices, people-pleasing and our tendency to think that at some point, things would make sense.  Spoiler alert: this never happens!  We talk about loving and accepting who we are and what it means to be a good person.  Further, how do we instill good values in our kids? We conclude with a question to the audience: are we just the sum of our actions or is there inherent goodness in all of us? Lastly, there's a call to action, if anything in this episode resonated with you, please comment on Instagram, Facebook, or send me an email at thisisyoupodcast@gmail.com, I'd love to hear from you.

Episode 4, Part 1: Does birth order influence our personalities?  Both my guest, Sania Khan, and I are middle children and feel that being a middle child plays a fundamental role in how we experience and view the world.  In this episode, we discuss middle child syndrome and how being a middle child has led to certain tendencies such as people pleasing, wanting to be peacemakers, feeling neglected and trying to figure out our role in our families.  In particular, I think I equated being a middle child with being less loved or less worthy and it took me a long time to realize that that wasn't the case. But where did this feeling come from to begin with? Listen in to this episode to learn where some of these ideas came from, how they were perpetuated and how I began to see things differently as I became a parent. People pleasing is another aspect of our personalities that can affect so many of our everyday choices, how do you break free of the desire to please everyone else and live life on your own terms?  Sania and I discuss our journey and what we still struggle with today. We also tackle topics such as why the process of arranged marriage can be difficult as a middle child, choosing a different path from the ones our siblings paved for us, embracing ourselves with self-love, and how it influences us going forward.  This is part one of a really funny, insightful and interesting conversation.  You won't want to miss this one!

Episode 3: How does abuse become normalized?  Hear Thamicha's gripping story where she discusses the various levels of abuse she has experienced including domestic and sexual abuse as well as being diagnosed as H.I.V. positive at the age of 19.  She describes the impact of her H.I.V. diagnosis, how she received the news, how it made her feel and the feelings of anger, guilt and shame that she experienced.  She also explains how she made it out from rock bottom, her process of healing and how she became the CEO and Founder of Openly Positive, an organization that strives to end the stigma around H.I.V. and provide support for those with H.I.V. and their families.   Thamicha Isaac is an activist, advocate, motivational speaker, coach, author and momtrepreneur.  Be inspired and moved by her story which reminds us that no matter how dire things may seem, or the trauma that you may have experienced, there is hope on the other side.  The tunnel does have a light. To learn more about openly positive for resources related to H.I.V. and Thamicha's speaking engagements, please visit: www.openlypositive.com.  You can also follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/Openlypositive/ and on https://www.instagram.com/Miizmisha721/. For resources on H.I.V. for those living in Ontario, please visit: http://www.hivresourcesontario.ca/about/For resources on domestic violence and abuse, please visit: http://www.women.gov.on.ca/owd/english/ending-violence/help.shtml and https://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/en/mcss/programs/community/helpingWomen/index.aspx To keep up to date with This is You, please follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

Episode 1: In our intro episode, I explain how this podcast came to be, what it hopes to accomplish and provide an introductory look at a concept that has impacted my identity: loneliness.  What factors contribute to our identity?  How do we become the people we are?  What life experiences, concepts or themes shape us and affect how we view ourselves? I believe that reflecting on what makes us who we are and sharing our story with others helps people feel less alone and creates a space where being vulnerable is celebrated instead of stigmatized.  Sharing our stories with others also helps us make connections and have a better understanding of ourselves than we may have had when we kept it all inside. Growing up with siblings either much older or much younger than me, I have struggled with loneliness for much of my life.  Have you ever been surrounded by wonderful friends but still felt alone - unable to share your feelings without feeling like a burden?  That was me and still is me some days.  Listen in to hear more about my experience and how it still affects my identity today. 

Episode 2: Has religion played a role in shaping your identity?  It has for our guest Terri Fry.  Terri grew up in Pakistan with her dad's side of the family who was very conservative and would often use religion as a tool to control her and her actions.  On the flip side, her mom's side of the family was also very religious but practiced religion in a much more accepting and open manner, consistent with how Terri feels Islam should be practiced.  Terri discusses several examples of how her extended family used religion as a tool, her chaotic upbringing, how it's affected how she views religion today and how it's shaped her in unexpected ways.  She also discusses how she and her husband, who is Christian, are raising her two young boys with both Christianity and Islam and what that means to them.   Terri is the founder of the Mom Like That Podcast where she interviews moms and dads about their experiences related to parenting, starting a side hustle and the challenges they have faced.  She is also the co-creator of the instagram community @therealmamasofinsta.  I have been a guest on Terri's podcast in the following episodes, so if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to check out the following as well: Episode 4: Motherhood I Wasn't Prepared for This!, Episode 26: The Whole Brain Child Review and Episode 30: Interfaith Relationship: Past and Present. To hear personal narratives from others surrounding religion and their identity, check out this interesting excerpt from FacingHistory.org: https://www.facinghistory.org/holocaust-and-human-behavior/chapter-1/religion-and-identity.