Absolutely No Adventures

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Absolutely No Adventures is a fantasy (un)adventure podcast that follows Sig, the owner of Signature Eats bakery, as he aggressively avoids becoming embroiled in any daring quests or chosen one shenanigans even though the universe really seems to want him to do just that. Follow Sig as he chills with his friends and stays far, far away from the slightest whiff of adventure. And bakes. He also bakes.

Destiny Howell


    • May 11, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 18m AVG DURATION
    • 23 EPISODES
    • 2 SEASONS


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    Latest episodes from Absolutely No Adventures

    ANA Presents: Necessary Evil - Teaser Trailer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2025 5:29


    In which Sibella has an audience with a prisoner. Necessary Evil is a miniseries set in the world of Absolutely No Adventures. It follows evil queen Sibella in her downtime between magic battles and running her seized kingdom. Episode One will premiere in the Fall. Be on the lookout for an official release date announcement! Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Sibella is Blythe Renay. The Sancterran Knight is Rochelle Ibarra. Sound Design by Tal Minear. Theme music by Jakub Żerański. Written and Directed by Destiny Howell. Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our Bluesky, @noadventurespod.

    Presenting: The Bardic Hearth

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2025 44:31


    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: The Bardic Hearth! The link to their Youtube page is here:  https://www.youtube.com/@ChaseNoseworthy The link to their Patreon is here: https://www.patreon.com/thebardichearth The link to their Buzzsprout is here: https://thebardichearth.buzzsprout.com/ ALSO, be on the lookout for a promo for a new Absolutely No Adventures miniseries coming soon!

    S2E6 - 2.6 Mightier Than The Sword

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 14:31


    In which a problem is resolved. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Briar Zachary is Queen Isadora. Sterling is Jack Malban. Morrigan is Katie Marie. Sunny is Dylan Duck. Princess Delphine is Sneha Kumar. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S2E5 - 2.5 Role Call

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2024 13:26


    In which Sig, Bea, and Happy get to know each other better. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S2E4 - 2.4 Can't Stand the Heat

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2024 12:29


    In which Sig, Bea, and Happy see double. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Briar Zachary is Queen Isadora. Jack Malban is Sterling. Katie Marie is Morrigan. Dylan Duck is Sunny. Sarah Griffin is Queen Marigold. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S2E3 - 2.3 Sweet Dreams

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2024 13:12


    In which Sig has a good day! Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S2E2 - 2.2 Failed It!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2024 11:16


    In which a prophecy is revealed. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Sterling is Jack Malban. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S2E1 - 2.1 A Familiar Feeling

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2024 14:52


    In which Sig has some after hours visitors. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Princess Delphine is Sneha Kumar. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    Presenting: Welcome to the Brass Eagle

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2024 64:38


    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Welcome to the Brass Eagle! The link to their crowdfunding page is here: bit.ly/brasseaglepod The link to their Instagram page is here: https://www.instagram.com/brasseaglepod/ Transcript: http://tiny.cc/wttbe ALSO, Absolutely No Adventures Season 2 starts October 14th!

    Presenting: Dragon's Rest

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2024 25:42


    This week we're featuring friend of the show: Dragon's Rest! The link to their Instagram page is here: https://www.instagram.com/dragonsrestshow/ Listen to more Dragon's Rest at: https://www.dragonsrestshow.com/ Transcript: https://www.dragonsrestshow.com/transcript-s01e01 Look out for Dragon's Rest Bonus Content coming soon. ALSO, Absolutely No Adventures Season 2 starts October 14th!

    Presenting: Inn Between

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2023 11:37


    This week we're featuring friend of the show: Inn Between! The link to their crowdfunding page is here: crowdfundr.com/innbetween5 Listen to more Inn Between at: https://www.thegoblinshead.com/ Transcript: http://tiny.cc/goblinshead

    S1E11 - SPECIAL Let Them Eat Wedding Cake

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2022 61:13


    Episode Notes In which Sig, Bea, and Happy bake a cake. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Queen Marigold is Sarah Griffin. Ana is Georgia McCall. Parker is Kaylie Horowitz. Balefic is Sumara Meers. Timor is Andrew Oakes. Luxe is Nina Nikolic. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E10 - 1.10 Something New

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2021 13:24


    In which things come full circle. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E9 - 1.9 Last Action Hero

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2021 11:09


    In which letters are read. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E8 - 1.8 Something Im-portent

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2021 11:34


    In which Sig is understandably concerned. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E7 - S1E7 - 1.7 What The Cat Dragged In

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2021 14:55


    In which Bea's services are required. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E6 - S1E6 - 1.6 Post Mortem

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2020 12:29


    Episode Notes In which Sig receives some mail. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Luxe is Nina Nikolic. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E5 - S1E5 - 1.5 Vampire Weekend

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2020 11:50


    Episode Notes In which Sig, Bea, and Happy celebrate a holiday. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.

    S1E4 - S1E4 - 1.4 Happy Days

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2020 13:08


    Episode Notes In which Happy has a visitor. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Terri is Demitra Papadinis. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod. This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    S1E3 - S1E3 - 1.3 Admission Impossible

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2020 13:41


    In which Sig is given an offer he very much can refuse. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod. This podcast is powered by Pinecast. This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    S1E2 - 1.2 Wicked Lost

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2020 14:40


    In which a traveler from far away has an interesting to-do list. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod. This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    S1E1 - 1.1 The Sword In The Sheath

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2020 15:00


    In which Sig tries to get a sword out of his bakery. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod. This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    ANA - Teaser Trailer

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2020 3:00


    In which the gang tries to shoot a promo. Absolutely No Adventures is a fantasy-(un)adventure audio drama podcast about dodging quests, hanging out with friends, and eating tons of baked goods as the apocalypse happens in the background. Episode One premieres October 14th. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. The Knight is Jack Malban. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod. This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

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