Berge’s Better Tomorrow

You view the world through your lens and that lens changes your mood, reactions, and how you go about your day.  How did you get the lens you have now? How has it changed? How can you change it to be however you want? What is the importance of knowing we all have different lenses? All that is covered in this week's episode! For this week's activity, take a pause when you have a reaction to something. Think about what that reaction was, and why you had it. It might not come to you right away but practice being aware that you can change your lens and then your reactions.  I also started a video podcast. Check it out on YouTube! @merissaberge

In order to express gratitude you first must be aware of what you already have and then appreciate it. Practicing gratitude doesn't have to look the same for all of us! However, if you express appreciation you won't be able to take anything for granted. Do you know how to be grateful for the hard times too? Not just for the wins in life? If not that's ok because in this episode I share a couple of things to try and ways to view those harder times. This week's activity is to write down things you're grateful for, for at least 7 days. The list could be 3 things or 300 things whatever you want! 

I am joined by Dylan G who shares his story of losing his childhood best friends in a tragic accident. He opens up about what was going through his head, what worked best for him to cope, and what didn't work. If you are someone in need of some guidance after losing a loved one, this is a great episode with some personal advice from Dylan. This week's activity is to think about what you would want your family/friends to do if you were to unexpectedly pass then talk about it with them and get to know what they would want. 

Whether it's a close friend, a stranger, or even yourself, we all need to have a safe home. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be given one though or maybe haven't learned how to provide that for themselves yet. In this episode, I tell you ways you can provide a "home," whether that be mentally, emotionally, or physically, for others. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. I also talk about how to create a home in and for yourself which is the most important one. This week's activity is to be extra kind to a stranger. Try to make their day because you don't know what they have to go home to. 

Where do you go when you want to cry, scream, punch or break something? Without anyone judging you. Without someone like a parent or roommate walking in and seeing you let out this emotion. Without fearing that expressing your emotion will make others worry about you. In this episode, I talk about where to go to let out emotions safely, which you can do alone. It is so important for us to let out our emotions but it can be hard for us to feel comfortable letting them out. That's why I have some suggestions for you to try. Keeping in emotions and not letting them out but expecting them to simmer down and go away is like putting the lid on a hot coffee in a hydro flask and expecting it to cool off by the next time you open it. The coffee will still be hot next time you open it and your emotions will still be there next time you get triggered.

Not always are we given good role models in our life, we have to go find them. Understanding that you need a good role model is a great first step. You can't stop following the bad role model if you are blind to the fact they aren't a good role model, and you need one. Just like you won't stop to tie your shoe if you don't notice it's untied, right? In this episode, I talk about what to look for in a role model for each area of your life, where to look, and how to learn from their good and bad. We can learn something from everyone in our lives it's just up to us what we decide to take away. I also talk about what to do when a role model walks out or does something that makes you have to remove them from your life, which can be really hard. This week's activity is to write down who you want to be when you grow up or grow up more if you're already an adult. This can help you see the habits of this person and know where they spend their time, so you can find them to follow or look up to. 

For this week's episode, I am joined by Harris who shares his story of growing up with a biological father who was in and out of his life. He shares what it was like trying to understand the wrong and unhealthy things happening in his family at a young age when he wanted to be able to look up to his father. From learning how to set boundaries for someone trying to manipulate him to be able to overcome low self-esteem and self-doubt, Harris tells us what worked for him to heal and not let this past narrative dictate his life forever. There are important life lessons for everyone to learn from this episode!Trigger warning we talk about abuse in this episode. 

Today I talk about why change is so uncomfortable and scary sometimes. There are different stages we go through when we are scared of change and I explain why we feel these ways. We all have different reasons for fearing change and understanding them is how we can begin to overcome those fears instead of falling into them. We resent changing because our bodies like comfort and stepping into something new is out of our comfort. But imagine if nature didn't change. If the leaves didn't change in different seasons, if the tide didn't change with the moon, or if caterpillars didn't change into butterflies. Nothing would be where it is today! It's important to see change as something beautiful, especially in our own lives. Not saying you have to change everything in your life because stability is important too. However, when you desire a change in your life I hope you can now begging to trust yourself and take the leap of faith knowing you deserve the change you want. 

Sometimes it can be so hard to get out of bed, and it becomes harder the longer you go without a reason to get up. Today we talk about different ways to find the motivation to get out of bed every day. This motivation should be meaningful to you and encourages you to show up. However, many little factors go into finding your reason like do you need soft or aggressive motivation? Are you motivated by a physical responsibility? By a goal you have? By your job? What about a motivation to see a change in our world? Whatever it is let's find it! Remember that it's common for this reason to change as you go through life and what is meaningful to you changes. If you got out of bed today I am so proud of you. If you're having a hard time today, skip to time stamp 28:26 in this episode as we go through getting up together. The activity this week is to make a list of every reason you get out of bed. If it's a long list, I'm so happy for you and I hope you keep those great things in your life. If it's a short list, that's ok you can start to build it today. Begin to try new things in your life that might motivate you or excite you, until you find your motivation.  

In this episode, I talk about what body dysmorphic disorder is and who can have it. ANYONE. I give some suggestions for how to work through negative self-talk and intrusive judgmental thoughts about others. People with body dysmorphic disorder often want to fix things about their physical appearance, but never feel satisfied. They often compare themselves to others, their past or future self, and can't find comfort in what they look like now. That's why it is important to change your mindset and work on seeing yourself as beautiful/handsome however you are because that will give you long-term satisfaction. I tell you how you can begin to do that in a few steps and stop letting negative self-talk win. This week's activity is to work on self-love talk. Remember that if it's hard one day and your negative thoughts are winning, that's ok just pick yourself back up the next day and keep trying. You got this!*I apologize about the audio right after minute 4. I accidentally added on a crossfade and could not figure out how to get rid of it! It is only about a minute and a half but just a heads up.

In this episode, I talk about the impact that having a mental health curriculum in our education system would look like and why it is important.  We are our environment. If we give our children an environment that prioritizes their mental well-being, they will grow up wanting to prioritize it. Just like math, how it is taught at different ages that make sense for that age group, we would do the same for mental health education. According to the Center for Disease Control, in 2020 suicide was the second leading cause of death in ages 10-14. That is a clear sign there is an issue with how our youth is handling their mental health and they need to be educated on what they are going through and how to help themselves or others. For this week's activity, I want you to either email btbettertomorrow@gmail.com or go to www.btbettertomorrow.com and scroll to the bottom where you can leave me a message, and let me know your thoughts on this topic. What do you wish you learned about mental health when you grew up? How would this have impacted you or someone in your life? If you could speak to someone who has the power to make this change, what would you bring up? Whatever it is TELL ME I want to know and get more opinions outside of my views to bring on this issue. 

In this Mother's Day episode, I have a special guest and dear friend, Arianna Gomez. We share some stories about what it's like to grow up with some rotten mothers. The issues we discuss include abandonment, invasion of privacy, lying and losing trust, narcissism, examples of gaslighting, and how that can affect your memory. It's hard to realize someone you have always looked up to isn't all you saw them as. Especially when you live with them or don't feel you have a choice in many situations. Listen along as we also talk about how we realized these were issues, what it felt like to live in them, and how we began to move on with the rest of our lives, not letting these narratives shape our future. Being able to build a life after realizing some past traumas can be a hard journey to start but we hope our insights can help you make it a little easier. For those who have gone through something similar and are still looking for that motherly, nurturing care, find it in yourself. It has worked best for Arianna and me to provide ourselves with the things we needed as a kid, now in acts of self-care. This week's activity is to first recognize those things you lacked as a child that you now need. On a separate note, we are very grateful for the wonderful mothers that have come across our lives, showing us good examples of motherly care. 

What does it feel like to recognize you have anxiety? What goes through your head? What happens with your body physically? This week I answer these questions and tell a little about my experience when realizing I had anxiety. I share a part of Sarah Knight's book called Calm The F*uck Down, where she introduces her idea " sleight of mind" that helps me redirect my focus for the day when I'm struggling. Knowing what someone else is going through or realizing you aren't alone if you feel these things is how we start breaking stigmas! Awareness and empathy. Our own stigmas can be a blockade in recognizing that we, or a loved one, needs help for what they are going through. If you're someone who thinks of everything right before you go to bed and can't fall asleep, be sure to listen for this week's activity. I have a good technique that helps me save all those thoughts for morning. 

What is fear? How do you overcome different types of fear? This week I answer these questions with some personal stories relating to the types of fear. Fear of things we might experience, fear of things we have never experienced, and fears that come from past experiences. This weeks activity is to make a bucket list! My quote mentioned is from the book Rising Strong by Brené Brown. 

There is so much to our personal identities and it can be hard to see that we are not kept in any identity we are labeled with today. This episode I talk about how to develop your personal identity in multiple areas of life and what goes into deciding what your ideal life to live is. Being able to live a life that lines up with your true identity is how you can also start living a regret free life. You learn ways to think that lead to a regret free life with a weight lifted off your shoulders because you aren't having to rethink a decision that has already been made. The reading from this episode about core needs comes from the book The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. For this week's activity, write down what makes you happy/comfortable and what makes you stressed/anxious. Then try to bring the good more into focus in your daily life and try to distance yourself from stressful and bad things in your life. 

This episode we learn different ways to declutter your life physically and how that affects you  mentally. I talk with my first guest and good friend, Hope Stansell, about how to make cleaning your room a game, ways to slowly go through apps on your phone and how to decide which people you can declutter from your life. It's hard to realize how much clutter is in your life when you're comfortable in it. Once you start to clean it up, your priorities can become more clear and daily life can be less stressful. Remember the environment is an influence and if you want to change your outcomes you need to change your environment. Anytime you feel stuck and overwhelmed, know that you can hit reset  with some decluttering strategies. This week's activity is to declutter one area in your life. It could be as little as a drawer of your desk, an app on your phone or the backseat of your car. 

What is dissociation? Who goes through it and what does it feel like? How can you come back to reality when you want if you're experiencing it? This week I answer these questions from personal experiences, grounding techniques from friends and information from the Department of Health, Australia, Better Health Channel. The list of grounding techniques can be used anytime, maybe try a few of them see what works for you. Come back to this episode if you ever need some help grounding yourself or someone you know.  Be sure to try out this week's activity using all your senses in the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise. 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Check out the Instagram bt.bettertomorrow and the website btbettertomorrow.com. Learn more about dissociative disorders here:https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders#complications 

This episode is like the first day of class for the term when the teacher just gives you the syllabus and itinerary for the class. We go over go over what this podcast will look like from here on out but not into much core content yet. I talk about why vulnerability can be something beautiful and how we can go to help each other learn new ways to make life better. I also share some information about the business Better Tomorrow  that I am building with it and how it can help you and people you care about.  Rough drafts have to start somewhere and this one starts right here. Be sure to check out the website btbettertomorrow.comand our Instagram page bt.bettertomorrow