Beyond Conception

In this final episode of the season, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the difference between happiness and joy while challenging you and your spouse to seek joy along this journey.

Couples will move mountains to have a child. We go through rounds of treatments, medications, procedures, pregnancy test, agencies and don't forget the money to build our family. When our plans crumble and we've done everything we can we're left with feelings of failure. Feeling like a failure is normal and consuming along this journey. How do we manage the feeling of failure? In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka flip the script on failure as Shalmeka discusses how she copes with failure along this journey. This episode encourages couples to know you're not a failure. You have the power within you to overcome the feeling of failure. You can and will get through infertility with God's help. Scriptures to meditate on: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬ “Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭CEV‬‬ “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” ‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” Philippians‬ ‭4:6-9‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭121:1-2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Pregnancy is one of the most wonderful experiences for a couples. Pregnancy can bring extreme emotional highs and devastating emotional lows. Miscarriage is one of the low experiences of pregnancy. No one assumes they will have a miscarriage until it happens to them. In fact, 1 in 4 pregnancies will end miscarriage. March is Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month. There is hope in the name. Pregnancy can occur after loss. Your Rainbow Baby (a healthy baby born after a loss) is possible after the storm of miscarriage. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka share their experience of dealing with multiple miscarriages and now the parents of their rainbow baby. Check out the Pregnancy After Loss Support website as mentioned in this episode https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/get-involved/pal-awareness-month/ Not mentioned in this episode but making international news, New Zealand approves paid leave after miscarriage https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/25/world/asia/new-zealand-miscarriage-paid-leave.html Support Groups: Pregnancy After Loss Support (see above website) IG:@pregnancyafterlosssupport Hannah's Daughters IG @hannahsdaughters Sisters in Loss IG: @sistersinloss

This week we pass the mic to our IG friends the Wilson's! We've never met in person but we get each other concerning this infertility stuff. Charles and Bianca Wilson share their journey to baby after a diagnosis of PCOS, unicornuate uterus, and endometriosis. Endometriosis impacts 1 out of 10 women. For 10 years Bianca sought medical treatment for her painful and heavy periods before she was diagnosed with Stage II Endometriosis. In this episode, Bianca unpacks her endometriosis symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. In the words of Bianca “stop telling girls it's normal to have painful and heavy periods.” Charles and Bianca discussed how they navigated through their infertility journey with multiple surgeries to her uterus and organs, timed sex, trigger shots, negative pregnancy test, frustration, and physical, mental and emotional pain. Through it all, they were able to love and support each other and share their story to encourage other couples “God always has the final say” when all of the odds are stacked against you. As you know, we're still living in a COVID-19 world, so our conversation was held virtually. Please lean in and turn up your volume to hear segments of the conversation because the internet wouldn't let us be great. March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. For more information on endometriosis check out this article from WebMD and as always, contact your medical provider if your feel you might be suffering with complications of endometriosis. https://www.webmd.com/women/endometriosis/endometriosis-causes-symptoms-treatment You can also follow The Wilson's journey on IG: @biancadanielle__ or Chuck & B Vlogs on YouTube.

What about your man? Ladies, we gotta check on our men. Contrary to popular belief, infertility is not a female issue. Men also experience the hardships of infertility whether they have male infertility diagnosis or not. We forget men have feelings too and need support throughout this journey. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the importance of supporting men through infertility. Desmond also provides some advice to wives on what your husband might want and need along this journey.

Should we just wait for a miracle, or seek help? Many couples opt out of fertility treatment for various reasons. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the many reasons why a couple might decide not to start or continue with fertility treatment. Health reasons might be a deciding factor for a couple to discontinue fertility treatment. This factor was in the episode notes but was forgotten in our discussion. Whatever reason a couple decides to opt out of fertility treatment is their choice and should be respected by medical providers, family, and friends. Articles mentioned in this episode: 11 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself If You're Fertility Challenged https://www.verywellfamily.com/fertility-challenged-stop-doing-these-10-things-1960003 Why You May Decide Not to Pursue Fertility Treatment Why People Stop Fertility Treatments and Arguments Against IVF https://www.verywellfamily.com/choosing-not-to-pursue-fertility-treatment-1959894

Couples face many life changing decisions while trying to conceive and build their family. What do we do? Where do we go from here? How do we proceed? What's next? We need guidance concerning our decisions along this journey. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the importance of leaning into your faith and consulting God for the guidance you need to make decisions along your journey. Scripture references in this episode: Romans 8:26-27, Proverbs 3:6, James 1:5, John 16:13, Psalms 119:105

Surrogacy is a normal option many couples use to build their family. Many couples have their doubts, fears, and questions concerning surrogacy. Is surrogacy a possible option for Desmond and Shalmeka?  In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss their views on surrogacy, bust some myths concerning surrogacy, and provide resources concerning the surrogacy process. The reality is there is hope in surrogacy as you and your spouse build your family. Desmond and Shalmeka encourage you to not only to listen to this episode but also come to your own conclusion and research your options to help you with everything that is beyond your conception.  Resources provided in the episode:  What You Need to Know About Surrogacy in Arizona https://www.americansurrogacy.com/surrogacy/arizona-surrogacy-laws Surrogacy https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/surrogacy/ Surrogacy Myths and Facts https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/surrogacy/myths-and-facts/ Using a Surrogate Mother: What You Need to Know https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/using-surrogate-mother#3 

The Sweets have passed the mic to the Hopkins. Now the parents of two children, Lloyd and Kashuna Hopkins reflect on their journey to parenthood. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka have a raw conversation with their friends Lloyd and Kashuna Hopkins who detail the multiple miscarriages they experienced before becoming parents to their two children. The Hopkins discuss their unexplained loss, how they supported each other, the anger and trauma associated with their loss and how they used their faith to get through this traumatic experience. In the end, hope wasn't cancelled, as they continued to have the faith to try again.

Desmond and Shalmeka are back with Season 3 of The Beyond Conception Podcast! What's good? Every year couples stand in faith and hope of this being their year to have the family they desire. However, early onset of fear and doubt and other obstacles along this journey can cause couples to cancel out their year for their desired family. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka are checking in with you and your spouse. They're here to remind you as your bother and sister and declare good things are happening to you and for you this year! #nocancelculture! 2021 has just begun, it's not over!

2020 is almost over. So much has happened! Everyone is counting down to the new year. Ready to be out with the old and in with the new. What's does a new year mean for couples with infertility? In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss infertility experienced from one year to the next.

Infertility is filled with bad news and negativity. This can consume you and your spouse. Good news and positive things are happening in your life in the mist of infertility. In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss the benefits of acknowledging, celebrating, and sharing the good news along your journey whether big or small. Think on these things Phil 4:8-9

Is it possible to be happy for someone else's pregnancy when you're dealing with infertility? In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss and explore this question. Oh, and it's season 7 of Married to Medicine not season 5. Check out the article referenced in this episode https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief

The holiday season represents traditions, family, and memories. It's the most wonderful time of the year! Right? Not always. Couples with infertility and loss know the holiday season can be the most difficult time of the year. In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss how couples can navigate through the holiday season by protecting their heart and peace while maintaining their faith.

Some days you're up and other days you're down. Couples understand the emotional ups and downs of infertility. In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss how they were able to depend on each other to manage the emotional ups and downs, disclose the comparison of their suffering, and the “bag” that couples carry along their infertility journey.

Infertility and finances. Who and how will you pay for fertility treatment? Finances and marriage can be a tough subject, now paired with expensive fertility treatment can become a barrier along your infertility journey. In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss and share their financial barriers along their infertility journey and provide financial resources to minimize the financial stress associated with fertility treatment.

Why do couples continue to try again in their quest to conceive a baby with all of the challenges of infertility? In this episode, Shalmeka and Desmond discuss the reason why couples continue to try again and answer the question if they will try again.

Communication is key to any relationship. In this episode Desmond and Shalmeka discuss how couples can communicate to mange everything that is beyond their conception.

Infertility will test the foundation of your marriage. Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the importance of your marriage having a solid foundation throughout your infertility journey and how to identify and repair cracks within your foundation. Check out the following articles as mentioned in this episode: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usnews.com/news/articles/2014/01/31/study-infertile-couples-3-times-more-likely-to-divorce%3fcontext=amp and https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.medicalnewstoday.com/amp/articles/318292 Grab your spouse and slow dance to John Legend's song Never Break.

Desmond and Shalmeka discuss coping with pregnancy loss, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, along with resources to support parents of pregnancy and infant loss. Check out the following IG account for loss and grief support @sistersinloss @hannahsdaughters @resolveorg @starlegacyfoundation IG:@be_conception email:beconception14@gmail.com

In this final episode of season 1, Desmond and Shalmeka answer some frequently asked questions concerning infertility. Proverbs 17:22

With everything going on in our world, plus the stress of trying to have a baby can be overwhelming. Desmond and Shalmeka discuss taking a much needed break and how to manage the stress along your journey. Phil 4:6-9

Father's Day can be difficult for men along their journey to become a father. In this episode, Desmond shares his perspective on Father's Day and provides tips on how to navigate and support men through this day. John 9:3

Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the ever present baby bump.

Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the importance of keeping the love and romance at the center of your fertility journey.

Desmond and Shalmeka discuss racial and ethic health care disparities in America and how to navigate with lack of representation and everything in between. Also, Hattie makes her debut so excuse the pauses and background noise.

Desmond and Shalmeka discuss how to win with the cards stacked against you. Go to @be_conception IG (follow) and click the link in bio to watch 19 Weeks by @destrofilms

Desmond and Shalmeka discuss their reluctancy of sharing their infertility struggles and tips for how and when to share your journey. In this episode they explore the critical role of supporters and how those conversations should be embraced and managed. BTW it was Eli the priest not Levi.

Desmond and Shalmeka share the shift of their perspective of conception while trying to process their unimaginable diagnosis of infertility.

Desmond and Shalmeka give a brief introduction into their infertility story and desire to share their journey with the world.