Joseph Smith's Divine Comedy

In this episode we get a little darker than we meant to, talk about a curse that turned people's skin darker, how Jesus secretly loves BDSM, and if you want to be saved and are a man, all you have to do is cut some skin off of your genitals. Also, fuck you Strikovski from Apple podcasts.

In today's episode we hear the story of how god cursed people and physically changed them for generations to come, and a lot of Star Wars references being made as key characters die and struggle to establish a life afterwards.

In this episode we take a break from Nephi and his murmuring brothers, Lamen and Lemuel. We go over the true-blue Mormon history of Zombie John the Baptist, people saw things with their "spiritual eyes," and Joseph Smith gets arrested for exercising demons...and oh yeah Peter, James and John are zombies too. ***Thank you to YouTube and TableTop Audio for the background music***

In this spectacular episode, Nephi leads his family on a journey to Costa Rica from the Red Sea. Don't worry, it only takes a couple of weeks and a hurricane that would never happen. But it works out in the end because they bring Oxen to Costa Rica hundreds of years before Cortez did and they also invent a compass about a thousand years before it was actually invented. There's also more topics of talking to nothing and hearing...you guessed it, nothing. ***Special thanks to YouTube for supplying the Mormon Tabernacial Childrens Choir and some Catholic Church music***

We talk about the "whore of the earth," and sexual freedom out the wazoo. We go over the very first compass in human history and building an Arc-type boat. ***Special thanks to D12 for their song "My Band" off the album D12 World and to YouTube for the Saturday song***

Glow in the dark fruit, soul-devouring rivers, and floating UFO buildings. In this episode, I review Lehi and Nephi's Tree of Life vision and we talk all about holding to God's Iron Rod and never letting go. *Special thanks to Tabletop Audio for the incredible background music! LDS Primary songs taken from numerous YouTube videos.*

Jerusalem is nuked, but not really. Angels do superhero landings and break up family feuds. Some dude gets drunk and an Angel tells our hero to cut his head off then wear his clothes. It's not weird. It's religon.

Today's tale is of a young American boy who got in a playground-like fight with Satan, had the Big Guy come along and beat up Satan. Then the boy, Joseph Smith, talked with the spirit of an ancient Central American native, whose parents immigrated to the Yucatan from Israel. This spirit, Moroni, told Joseph, to dig up some holes in a hill behind his house and there would be treasure. (Maybe Cortez should've gone to New York and challenged Satan to a fight?) Well, low and behold Joseph finds this Native-American-Israeli treasure and some other goodies and starts to translate what will become the Book of Mormon.