Let's Talk with Kaitlin Reagan

The world of social media is all I've known since I was 15. It has always had its pros and cons but over the past few years I really noticed how badly it was consuming me. I worked hard after losing Francesco to find validation and serenity in myself. Even with all that growth, I still found myself going back into my bad and unhealthy habits. To help others, you have to be able to help yourself. That's why I've decided to keep the promise that I made to myself. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

Today I answer 14 of your most commonly asked questions hoping to give a little input on the way I feel and how my grieving process is looking today. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I sat down with Sal Carollo this week, and we spoke about the grief he felt from losing not only his mother to cancer, but his cousin Francesco as well, all in the matter of a year. He talks about some of his coping mechanisms, his experience being a caretaker, ways that he likes to honor his mother, and some of his favorite last memories with her. Everyone experiences grief differently, but the one thing that I know we all share in common is that the grief hurts, and it is okay to NOT be okay. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I don't believe that when we die it is just "lights out". I believe that there is so much more to life and death, so much, that our brains would never be able to process the full truth if we had it. In this episode I discuss the three major “signs” that I received from my boyfriend who passed away. These signs changed my perspective on afterlife, and I hope it does the same for you too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I wanted to open up the conversation about mediums, because I want to see where everyone stands on this topic. ARE MEDIUMS LYING TO US? If they aren't lying, how did they get this special gift, and why wasn't I one of the chosen ones? I need answers..... Hopefully our crazy experience can help put things into perspective for you. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I sit down with my mother, who opened up about her decision to leave my father. She packed her bags, and moved back in with her mother (my grandma) to start over, and give me a better life. We talk about the strength that takes, the red flags she encountered, and how it changed her to be more independent, and resilient. We then talk about Francesco, how he impacted her life, and how he will always be the son in law she always wanted. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

With my grief, I HATED when people would tell me to "just move on". For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me. I kept trying to "move on" to make everyone else around me happy, but it just wouldn't work. What I learned with time, is that there wasn't something wrong with me, there was something wrong with the advice that was being given to me. There is no such thing as moving on from a loved one, and I am so sorry if someone made you feel otherwise. When someone makes such an impact on your life they become a part of you, even if they aren't here physically. The memories they left you and the values they taught you will carry on within you forever. We don't ever move on, we move forward. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I had so much time to reflect after Francesco passed away. Taking time off social media allowed me to understand my life in a way I never did before. With my own personal experience with grief, I did a lot of reflecting, and learned so much about who I am. I started to understand the things that I do that I love, and the things I've done that I don't ever want to do again. "To make no mistakes is not the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes, the wise and good learn wisdom for the future" --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

Have you ever stopped yourself from doing something because you feared the judgement of others? Maybe you even felt limited by the norms that society has built for us. I had an extremely hard time fitting back in with society, and even just feeling "normal" after losing my soulmate. It took a shift in my mentality, and unlocking the power that I carry, setting my authority in my own life. We may feel like our brain controls us, but once you realize you control the brain, your life changes. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

In this interview I sit down with Francesco's father Joe LoPresti. I started dating his son in 2013, and at the time not being raised with the same culture caused a huge barrier between his parents and I. Today, we sit down to talk about the beautiful evolution of our relationship after having gone through something so traumatic together. I dive into Joe's subconscious thoughts to understand his journey while his son battled cancer, as well as his thoughts now while he tries to navigate this world without him. Thank you for allowing Joe to be vulnerable by opening his heart on a subject so sensitive to him. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

We tend to look for validation from the outside world, because we struggle to trust ourselves. The reason we don't trust ourselves, is simply because we don't entirely know who we are. We'd rather run to others to help us, instead of learning how to help ourselves. We are programmed to do this, and it makes us weak. Be your bestfriend because at the end of the day, no one knows you like you. Stop missing out on getting to know who you are, the person you're missing out on is someone extremely intelligent. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

Letting go of past anger is not an easy task. Sometimes we are afraid of the way other people will react. Other times we may really struggle to not let our pride get in the way. Ultimately, holding on to that pain hurts us the most and letting go is the most liberating thing you can do. Send that text, go see people that you don't often see, be that person who makes the effort. You will see that in the end you are left feeling totally free. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I sit down with Francesco's best friend Mirko and talk about their early friendship and what it meant to him. We also go into what it was like hearing the news that Francesco had lost his battle with cancer and the emotions that came along with it. Lastly, we touch on his last big break up and how that was a catalyst in us forming a close friendship. Healing from a huge tragedy can be difficult, but it is so much easier when you have close friends by your side. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

In this episode, I talk about my experience navigating my boyfriend's funeral and wake after his death. These are very taboo topics that not many people like touching on. This portion of life is not spoken about enough and it sucks because it's a WAY more common experience than we realize. We need to come together and allow space for these thoughts. My goal is to break this stigma. Death is a part of our lives, and we need to face this unfortunate truth, instead of running from it. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

AHH my first ever interview, in my new studio, with my soul sister. Julia Robinson. My bestfriend sits down with me, and dives into her experience with grief after losing her mother to suicide at the age of 10. She takes us on the journey of what it's like living without a mother, how she handled it, and how it built her into who she is today. We then dive into my loss, and how she mastered being an amazing support through it all. I am not confident we know how to properly show up for the people we love in this world, and I want to raise awareness to how we could do a better job at being present for those we love. Truthfully, she embodies the definition of a fantastic friend. Blessed to have her on the show, and I hope her story inspires you, as much as it inspired me. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

I'm glad we got to catch up Francesco, I love you. Until our souls meet again. Sincerely, Kaitlin --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

When something happens to us that causes deep pain, we go into a state of survival. It's not a good state to live in, but it is an important part of the process. The goal is not to to avoid survival mode, it's to learn how to get out of it. You don't deserve to survive, you deserve to LIVE. Time Stamps: Introduction to survival mode 0:00- 1:42 My experience in survival mode 1:44-3:58 Recognition 4:00- 4:53 Write out a list 4:45- 6:22 Face those fears 6:24- 8:42 Be a long term thinker 8:43- 10:25 Step out of your comfort zone 10:27- 12:12 Get rid of the victim mindset 12:13-12:55 Finding the strength within 12:57- 15:00 Allow yourself to feel 15:03- 17:29 Your choice 17:30-18:10 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

My first day navigating life without my significant other alive. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

This is the story of how Francesco and I met, and our history over the last 10 years plus. Timing is key. Sometimes we are with the right person, but it's the wrong time. Let this story be a reminder that if it's meant to be, it WILL be. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

Sharing Francesco and I's journey with the world was a BIG decision we had to make as a family. At the time, it was scary to show our vulnerability while we navigated through our lowest points. Although it ended up being the best decision we could've made, it came with a big price to pay as well. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

In less than a year, our entire lives flipped upside down, and all we really had to keep each other sane was each other. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

The moment the doctors told us that there was nothing more they could do for Francesco, was the moment I slowly started to fight demons in my head. The internal struggles of being in denial - trying to convince myself that he was not going to die. I lived in a world tortured by both extreme thoughts eating away at me, and didn't know which one was going to be the outcome. Francesco and I both struggled in different ways, yet continued to show up for one another however we could. In the end we never gave up on each other. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

The week before Francesco passed away, Francesco and I had to accept that he's not going to be here much longer. We had the realest, most intense conversations with each other. I talk about what it is like to talk to the person you love from a perspective of knowing you may never see each other again. We had so much time to reminisce, and to be really be present in the moment. If only humanity could learn how to be so real with one another, other than in times of distress. Why does it take death for us to appreciate the best parts of a person? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support

The day that I lost my boyfriend to cancer, was the day that I truly felt my life was over; a pain that is indescribable. For a while I ran from this day, trying to pretend that it didn't happen just to get by. It hurt too bad to resurface. Once I found the strength, and realized I no longer wanted to hide from my truth, I felt empowered. Sharing your experience with trauma is powerful, and I want more people to understand that it's okay to do so. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kaitlin-reagan/support