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Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2025

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 27 Appreciation? In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. Children must face the scrutiny of their parents The Dining Hall was almost a relief. That relief died the moment I saw the banner over the front of the serving area in the Hall. 'Zane Appreciation Day'. Since every word was spelled correctly, it wasn't some stunt of Rio's, but beyond that, the list of suspects was too large to consider. This could be a genuine outpouring of acceptance and sympathy for what I had endured here. If you believe that, I have to ask you: 'Do you want your leprechaun pissing Guinness or Irish Malt?' Most likely, this was going to be some sort of humiliation, and I think I knew the flavor, and I definitely knew how to find out. See, in every seat of the Dining Hall was a big, bowling ball sized white box with a name and secured with a gold and green ribbon, so no cheating; no peeking. That last bit didn't deter me, though. I snuck up on the box marked for Holiday Carpenter. "Zane, does that have your name on it?" Virginia Goodswell asked me, my English teacher and Spiritual Advisor. Hell, if it had been Mrs. Marlowe, I would have opened it anyway, but Virginia was my buddy so her next question didn't mean to stab a stake of regret through my heart. "Where is Vivian?" "I left my room before she was done." I looked to the ground while I kicked some imaginary dust off the slate floor. "Why don't you see if she's been calling you?" she suggested. "She's probably worried." Worried, or homicidal because, ya know, I had sort of run off without my phone, wallet, watch, book bag, or anything else a 21st century student might need. "I ran away like a big, fat chicken," I confessed. "Anything not glued to my body I left behind." "I'll give her a call." She pulled out her phone and hit speed dial #2. I crap since her sick mother is probably #1. I am such a big problem for her, she has my guardian on speed dial! "That is Holiday Carpenter's box, Zane, not yours. Besides, there are strict instructions to not open the boxes until instructed." The panicky response I overheard from Virginia's conversation with Vivian hardly helped my mood. She wanted to know if Virginia knew where I was, she did; that I was okay, I was; and finally, what upset me, because the other girls weren't talking but apparently Mercy had started slapping Barbie Lynn around until Rio and Val pulled her off. Now, that made less than no sense. Wasn't that supposed to work the other way around? Virginia did a double check and sure enough, Mercy had slammed Barbie Lynn into an open wardrobe on my behalf, and Rio and Val had pulled her back. WTF! I am sure that Rio was right beside me on that one. Vivian triple checked that I was physically and mentally okay and she sounded so disappointed, in herself, as she did so. She was bringing my stuff; yes, I am an earthworm. Virginia promised for me that I would remain here until she arrived. Some stupid gesture like a loud public apology, done on bended knee, was blatantly unfair to Vivian, who only meant the best for me. I made a quick apology, not trying to meet her eyes as I said the words and took my stuff. All of 'my' girls seemed equally subdued. A minute after we had garnered our victuals, Vivian put a hand on my elbow. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Zane," Vivian smiled warmly at me. "You take a lot of stress and pressure on yourself. I understand that from time to time you need to take in a tiny bit of private space for yourself. Clearly, you can't schedule any such time because nothing around you stays a secret for very long and no one respects your privacy or even asks what you need." "Vivian," I was puzzled, "you deserve to be righteously pissed with me. You are my Guardian and I promised to stay by you or at least tell you where I was." "Zane, we let you down," Vivian assured me. "It is your dorm room and we are your guests, and we have been rather poor guests at that." "How about we call a truce?" I offer. "I can live with that," Vivian smiled. "Cut the Kumbaya-time, kids," Rio snorted derisively. "Zane, what the fuck happened with Mercy?" Rio playfully punched Mercy's arm to emphasize her uncertainty. "Rio, Bro, drop it," I asked sincerely. "Act like it didn't happen." Rio studied me a second, then got this wickedly evil grin. "What the hell are you talking about, Glenda?" she hefted the box up then shook it. "It seems my damn box is glued shut. Are we celebrating one thousand cunts licked by you, or what?" Because Rio rarely expounded at a level below full volume, next thing we hear is Mrs. Marlow snapping, "Ms. Talon, watch your language; there are good Christian women being forced to sit within the sound of your voice!" "Gotcha, Ms. Mouthful," Rio snapped off with a snap and a finger raised up like a pistol in the air. "What did you say?" Marlowe closed the distance. "She was repeating what I pointed out," I turned and smiled. "I said that you really had it going together this morning; that you were more than a mouthful. That's a hip/trending term to describe someone who is expressing themselves through clothing and make-up." "You are lying, Mr. Braxton," she snarled. "You are probably right, as I do so to you on general principle, but good luck proving it in student court," I grinned right back. We locked wills and she blinked first. "Ms. Phillips," Marlowe turned on Vivian, "what are you going to do about this?" "Zane and Rio, would you please apologize for being rude and insensitive to an educator who only wishes the best for the student body?" Vivian requested. "I so apologize," I bowed my head. "I so apologize as well," Rio tacked on. Only after Marlowe had gone to spread love and sunshine somewhere else did Rio lean across me and whisper to Vivian. "You rock!" Rio giggled gleefully. After all, Rio and I had not apologized to Mrs. Marlowe because neither one of us believed for a minute that she was 'an educator who only wishes the best for the student body'. To that nameless entity, we owed a debt, and to Mrs. Marlow we owed a generous 'fuck you,' and Vivian had made it all possible. "Why, thank you, Rio," Vivian nodded her acceptance of Rio's praise. "Jesus is the Peacemaker and we all should attempt to emulate his teachings." "So, I still don't get to lick you senseless?" Rio snickered. "No, no, you don't," Vivian smiled, even though she didn't look at either of us. Vivian's going to rock as a mom. The next half hour passed quietly. Everyone was curious about the boxes but no one was too worried until a rumor suddenly appeared. When it was suggested that they might have to put on bikinis, the fear set in. I blamed, I don't know but I wish I had thought of it. I was still kicking myself for the missed opportunity when my alien with the right face black and left face white shows up with the right face white and left face black, Mhain and Millicent. "Death Match and you get to referee," Rio teased me. "I'm so jealous; 500 bucks on the one with the soul." Mhain glared hate at us while Millicent looked more than amused. "Zane, come with us," Mhain gloated. I figured that somehow my ordeal was coming to an end so I'd play along. I rose and they steered me to the largest exit, flanking me. Christina and Company grabbed their boxes and jumped up quickly to follow me, though they looked as confused as I was, confirming none of them were the architect of my discomfort. No sooner had we stepped into the cool, sunlit lawn than everyone's phone rang, except mine. I was loving this, right up there with having sandpaper buffing my sunburned abs. "Open the box and follow the instructions," Christina informed me. "Is anyone going to do this?" My phone vibrated once, then my whole body tingled before I could respond to the call. "I am," Mhain gloated. "I was promised something." She knelt and opened her box with enthusiasm; the others did likewise but at a more sedate pace. What came out of each box was almost identical, different only in the anatomical part of the body indicated by the instructions. The objects were all grapefruit-sized fur-balls that made darling little squeaks, squeals and murmurs, amongst other sympathetic noises, all in tiny little voices. They were to be placed on my body, but I didn't know how that would work. "Are we going to do this?" Chastity began to say. "It isn't sticky," Hope was also saying when Mhain's flew out of her hand and hit the side of my left knee. She reached out carefully to retrieve hers while the other girls circled in. The little darlings were proving to be resilient little bastards. Several more leapt at me from the hands of their owners. All this time the furry grapefruit were giving little 'wee!' noises when they shot at me and screeched like demons when they were removed, which was painful when they were on my flesh. I knew who was responsible and she was going to pay, but not right now. I saw my closest allies pulling back. "TLM, Christina," I sighed in resignation. "Let's get this over with." I was being totally self-sacrificial; girls were starting to pile-up on us coming out of the Dining Hall. I didn't want a riot. Mhain had technically tagged me first but not in the designated spot, so I had Christina go first, she put one over my heart, not that I thought Cordelia was stupid, but now she was just piling it on. Mhain went next and she was sizzling and excited, she put it on my lips, shutting me up. At least the girls were polite and organized enough to come at me patiently. A few didn't get the 'memo' and their little rug rats slipped out of their owner's grasp and got to play gleeful kamikaze as they plowed into me. It didn't hurt but I had this secret fear that the tiny terrors would sprout fangs and tear into me. These little guys were murmuring and mumbling and it wasn't until I was truly buried that a horrific realization was made, the more that were on me, the greater their clinging power. In retrospect, this would have been more useful if we hadn't passed the 700 mark. I looked like a puffy, overweight, Sasquatch baby. I could move but sitting down was a dream, as was running or going to the bathroom. The damn things wouldn't shut up either. It fell to Hope and Iona to hurry me (as much as possible) to Assembly; you know that place where I 'sit' in front. At least no one could ask me anything with the expectation of receiving an answer. I no longer wondered how bad it could get; I knew it would get worse, and while I didn't know how, I knew it would be soon. At the start of Assembly my little friends joined in the singing, not using words but in the tinny little noises they made, though admittedly they were enthusiastic and determined. But it gets worse. There was a discussion on stage after that fiasco about removing me. Chancellor Bazz wanted me gone; Vice Chancellor Scarlett was not in attendance but Virginia took up my cause. After all, it wasn't my fault, she claimed. "Well, Black, do something," the first three rows heard Bazz demand of our Head of Security. "I am not an engineer or a chemist," Black replied. "Do you want me to shoot them off him?" Oh, yeah, my girl Bazz wanted that, so bad. Of course, what she really wanted was for Black to miss, but that wasn't going to happen. Finally, the teachers decided to soldier on. When Chancellor Bazz stepped up to begin services, the frightening fur-balls belted out 'Hail to the Chief.' No one said a word, not a murmur. Chancellor Bazz stopped and the munchkin chorus stopped too. Two more starts later and she gave up and grudgingly took the 'praise' from my infestation. They were good throughout the message and sermon but took up 'Hail to the Chief' when she tried to leave the podium. "Do something!" she screamed at Black. This time, Gabrielle sedately headed my way. I didn't want to think of the pain coming my way. My little buddies had my back. When she got within five feet the all screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, in the loudest cacophony most of us present had ever heard. I saw something I thought I would never see; Gabrielle flinched. Not so oddly, I was fine, hearing almost nothing. The little guys on my ears soaked up the sound so I received a very watered-down version of what they were doing. Gabrielle fell back and at the five foot mark, the little guys shut up, mostly. They seemed to be making comforting noises to one another, like one Zane-sized colony of brown mold. "Get away from him; just get away from him," good old Doctor Melrose Bazz pleaded as she moved her hands away from her ears. "Braxton, you stop this right now." I had a wee beastie on my mouth and Bazz was not on the small list of people I would devour this thing for. If she's looking for a conversation today, she's out of luck. She throws her hands up in desperation and starts to storm off. My little cock-sucking furry gonads (yes, I was getting angry) fired up 'Hail to the Chief' yet again, and kept at it until she sat down. Virginia got to thinking it's appropriate to call for the end of this travesty but she's dealing with Cordelia Dresden, Top Gun of the Time Lord Mafia. The weapon of choice; 'She's a Lady' by some guy named Tom Jones, the ladies in my life will inform me about this later. For a half a second she tries to fight her smile but she surrenders, even letting the little guys go through the entire score before talking. The little tinny voices were humming a song I didn't know but damn it, it made me want to take Virginia out to a smoky Jazz club and dance until the sun came up. Virginia actually started tapping her foot to rhythm and I began thinking I might not be able to beat Cordelia. I'm not used to that sensation. "Okay, now, whoever is doing this has put Zane through enough and should remember that we should, as Christians, make students feel safe and not make them subjects of humiliation," Virginia addressed the student body. "I think we can end Assembly fifteen minutes early today for a little bit of Christian charity. We can do it at Zane's first class, 204 Denning Hall." By the way, I apparently have a play list. As Virginia headed back, the fella's changed it up with 'Baby Got Back'. I wanted to die. Virginia Goodswell has a truly fine ass, of this there is no doubt, I often compare it to Barbie Lynn's, but please. Virginia stopped, turned toward me with a dazzling smile and waggled her finger at me, then resumed her way to her seat. How is any of this my fault? I imagine I was lucky it wasn't the Thong Song. I would have died, then come back as the undead to take Cordelia to hell with me. It was with some relief that Vivian and Hope rallied to my side. They had to both keep other students away, the other girls loved poking me in different critters to make them call out in different pitches and tenors, which was pleasant to hear if you liked overdosing on helium. Surprise, surprise; no one came to my succor before English class. I couldn't sit down. Okay, I tried, but any part of my body that bent or that I sat on screamed bloody murder until I got off of it or stopped putting on the press. I've heard about girlfriends like this but I've always assumed I would have the courage to jump out of a 50 story building to escape. What do you do if they come with you when you jump besides basking in the vicarious thrill that comes from crushing half of them beneath you before you go? I managed to do okay standing in the rear of the class, only once giving in to the crushing fatigue of holding my arms somewhat elevated for two hours. The two under my arms were especially cooperative and didn't get too vocal when my arms did slip to my sides. I couldn't do a thing about the occasional girl twisting in her seat but either Raven's glare or Goodswell's cough brought their eyes forward once more. At the end of class, Virginia decided to call Ms. Black and have her take me to the Vice Chancellor's office to end this matter. Vivian and Mercy provided support while Gabrielle kept her distance and cleared a path. Rio helped out by playing my musical miscreants as if they were a drum set while some part of the 700 members of my new posse and I yelled at her to leave us alone. She really is my best friend. My tragically slow pace was not my friend and everyone had to depart for their classes before I finished the arduous travel to the Administration Building. Gabrielle's eyes measuring you for a casket is a remarkable motivator but didn't stop Rio from blowing a kiss to her "Mi Negro Naughtiness". I know, I know; one day, Rio is just going to vanish without a trace. "Ms. Reveal, I need an emergency meeting with the Vice Chancellor," Ms. Black requested of Doctor Scarlett's personal assistant. Ms. Reveal didn't miss Gabrielle keeping her distance from me. She did make the call and I noticed the pictures of Ms. Mittens were still in evidence. "Who are you inside that suit?" Ms. Reveal asked me. I guess she assumed I wasn't a real baby Sasquatch; I was really a baby Sasquatch disguised as a half-baked marshmallow. If three geeks and a man working beneath his means jump out at me with proton-packs, I am running for my life, which is to say 'I'm going to die.' "This is Zane. He is not being rude, he can't speak," Ms. Black was kind enough to cover for me. "Oh, I understand," Ms. Reveal nodded, but in such a way that expressed she didn't understand anything. "You two can go in now," she said several awkward seconds later. "Zane, you move as close to Ms. Reveal's desk as you can while I get the door for you," Gabrielle instructed me. "Come in when I call for you." I'm sure Marisol Reveal was curious as to why Gabrielle was dancing around me, trying to keep her distance. We almost made it; right as she made it to the doorway, Doctor Scarlett opened the door and attempted to see what the delay was. She was actually putting an award on a shelf she had just received, the reason she missed Assembly, if you find that suspicious, and was placing it on a shelf near the door. Gabrielle responded as any slightly unbalanced killer would do; she spun around, pulled out her gun from the unseen Realm of the Gods of War, and pointed it at the stunned Victoria. That took her one half-step too close to me and my little fellas let the world know it. I will give them this much; they were still defending my eardrums. By the way Marisol was holding her ears as her tears flowed down her face it must have been pure agony for her since I was right next to her. Gabrielle scoped up Victoria and sprinted into her office and they obediently shut up. "Za-, Zane, what was that?" Marisol blathered. Since the furry meatball gone bad was still on my lips and I hadn't become that hungry, I kept my silence. "Zane!" Gabrielle called for me. I did my best to shrug but it wasn't like I had a neck anymore so I don't know what she made of my movement. I shuffled to the door and got a few good squeaks as I moved inside. I was more than a little disturbed by the reaction I received from Doctor Scarlett when she saw me from her seat behind her desk. She looked at me and I swear, hand to my heart, she had an orgasm. "You are covered in Tribbles," she gasped. I had no fucking clue what a Tribble is but apparently, I was in the vast minority. I staggered forward and since Gabrielle was on the right side of the room, I angled to the left. I move halfway around Doctor Scarlett's desk so that Gabrielle could go close the door, where she took up post and, from what happened next engaged a Romulan Cloaking Device, whatever the Muggle-tech that is. Victoria was in some sort of dream-like trance. When she started stumbling around the desk toward me, I waited for the musical assault that never came. To my credit, I caught on in a second. If these creatures existed, singing wasn't their normal activity, and Cordelia wanted these little 'Squeaky Meals' to be as real as possible, for Victoria. I was nothing but bait. Victoria reached out to caress the same one Christina had placed over my heart. The little bugger cooed and Victoria clamped her thighs together to contain another orgasm that coursed through her loins. Cool, all I have to do to feel the wonders of Victoria Scarlett is dress myself in furry grapefruit. I'm kicking myself for not seeing this obvious ploy. She touches more and each makes a subtly different purr of pleasure. This goes on and on until she's cuddled up against me, her arms stroking over my back and rubbing her left leg up and down mine. "Vice Chancellor, you do realize Zane Braxton is TRAPPED inside those, contraptions," Gabrielle sounds the slightest bit peeved. The troops all make those little high-pitched notes of longing as Victoria retreats a few steps, bringing Victoria almost to the point where she launches herself back into me to comfort her little friends. I am second fiddle to a discombobulated guinea pig; sometimes a man can feel pretty small. "Okay. How did this happen to you, Zane?" Victoria asked. "He cannot talk; one of those Tribbles is attached to his lips," Black stated, "by an unknown force. Before you ask; I am not an engineer or chemist." Victoria made this adorable little 'o' expression, then reached for an offending Tribble. "It hurts him to remove them," Gabrielle got out just in time. "Does it hurt the Tribble?" Victoria inquired. Gee, thanks, Vic. "Hold your ears," Gabrielle commanded. Well, I couldn't comply, and Victoria had only started to scream 'stop' when Gabrielle materialized a knife and speared 'Diddley-boo' off my shoulder. I heard the little guy's death wail, then his death rattle, as Gabrielle pulled him/her away until she was out of screaming range. Diddley-boo? No, I have no idea what his/her name really was but I'm going to have ICE check his immigration status when all of this is over, wait, I can't do that; Gabrielle wacked the little snot and giving her up to the Feds is a great way to create many widows and orphans. Diddley-boo was still twitching erratically while Victoria was stuck between ecstasy and horror. "You are a Klingon agent!" Victoria gasped as she pointed an accusatory finger at Gabrielle. I am vaguely aware that they are the stock-villains of Star Trek Universe and this odd snapshot of rightly tight, athletic buns in tighter pants, but the reference memory for the scene escapes me. By the facial reaction Gabrielle gives, Victoria just called candy sweet, or jalapenos hot; she appreciates the comparison. All the surviving members of the Tribble tribe wept a cacophony of pain and loss. I would have had more sympathy if their moans had not been vibrating my body like a jello mold. "Romulan," Gabrielle countered; the other stock Trekkie villains, but they have better teeth. First amongst our Honored Dead, DB hardly quivers as Ms. Black dissects it. It bleeds/oozes and appears to be a living organism of some kind, but Gabrielle points to several electronic devices, a CPU, and wires connecting all kinds of things inside the organic body. "It is an organic husk over a sensory/auditory device," Gabrielle tried to explain. "Oh, my God," Victoria's mind worked feverish to defy reality, "they've been turned into Borgs." She tore the one attached to my lips off. I didn't cry like a televangelist publicly begging God for forgiveness for a moment, or 147 moments, of weakness with a rather sad-looking prostitute, but that was coming. You see, Victoria gripped her weeping diminutive fuzzy engine of humiliation tightly when she yanked it off, so she let go of it because the little blighter sounded hurt. It gave off a more muted and mournful 'wee' as it smacked into the corner of my mouth. I was able to dodge a direct hit. "Scarlett," Gabrielle seethed, "if, you, would, listen, for, a, moment; they are painful to be removed from his flesh and they will attempt to reattach themselves to him if they are brought within one foot. I have no idea why." "Zane, are you in much pain?" Doctor Scarlett inquired while scanning my body fungi. "Yes, but I'm sure if you kick me in the nuts, I'll feel better," I mumbled through a joke. "I can't do that," Victoria gasped. "You have Tribbles down there." Yes, I feel special. "That's it," Gabrielle snapped. "I'm going to get help." She spun around and breezed out the door, slamming it in her wake. "Thanks for abandoning me, Gabby," I shouted as loud as I was able. "It's not like Vic's totally lost her mind or anything like that." "I have not lost my mind," Victoria responded with a deceptively calm, soothing tone. She reinforced my calm by locking the door, then locking in the deadbolt, yes, I felt much safer. My merry band of orphan coconuts helped things along the cliffs of sanity by cooing and 'talking' to Victoria as she walked around the office, and she gaily responded to them. "Ms. Reveal, this is going to be a difficult intervention. Inform me when lunch time gets here," Victoria communicated to her assistant, then added, "I need a box of outdoor trash bags; leave them at the door." Having a hot lady like Victoria Scarlett lock the door and asking for almost 3 hours of 'alone' time with me is a mature pipe dream of mine, and that dream really meets a bloody end when she asks for roughly 30 bags with a fifty-gallon capacity each. If she pulls out a hacksaw or a 'cow-stunner,' I'm racing for the window behind the Doc's desk. I'll be gone in 90 seconds, sort of like an inexpensive microwave dinner. Doctor Scarlett returned to her desk, turned her spy-cam around, and started making calls. I honestly maintained a miniscule hope that she might still help me. She was talking curtly to another doctor whose name I didn't recognize. What came out of her mouth next sounded like a combination of eating raw meat all your life and gargling with sand regularly; add to that an inflection of someone wanting to kick elementary kids into the paths of oncoming busses and you had the language she was using. Victoria's stance even changed. She thrust out her chest, put her hands on her hips, and a predatory sneer took up permanent residency on her lips. She even beat on her desk hard during this little exchange before laughing in a way that made kittens piss on themselves before you hung them. "Vice Chancellor, Doctor Victoria Scarlett, umm, what's going on?" I said careful. I'm not so much terrified of Victoria at this point, as I am suspicious of my ability to fight at the moment. "Everything is fine, Zane," Victoria assured me. "In essence, I am bringing in some experts in the field. You can trust me on this; we've been expecting contact like this for years." Huh? "So, ah, that was an Albanian Biologist?" I hoped. "No, that was Vor' Dura, Flight Leader of the Blood Quasar Fleet of the Klingon Empire," Victoria explained sedately, in the same way any SANE individual described a Navy Commander. She turned her computer screen so I could see the person's profile pic. "How does she breathe in that thing?" I wondered. "That's one hell of a corset." "That isn't a corset, Zane, its body armor. My suit was created by the same armorer," she stated. "You have something like that?" I boggled. "Yes, the precise same suit. Vor' Dura is not as blessed by her bloodlines, she's shorter, but otherwise, we are identical; our alliance ended recently and soon she must face me in ritual combat; yield or die." 'Yield or die' isn't what is centermost in my mind. "Don't your boobs ever pop out of that thing?" Because if you have been paying any attention; I am an idiot where sex is even a remote possibility. Victoria can't meet my gaze but turns as red as her namesake. "On a few occasions," she confessed. I'm thinking 'a few'. "Now I have a few more calls to make." Yes, she's lost her ever-loving mind, and I have no reasonable expectation of exit or rescue. I won't be able to get up enough speed to bust out of the window so being on the first floor is meaningless. She has the deadbolt key and when I stack up my Tribbles against her Science Fiction fanaticism, I lose. She turns the monitor around and makes her next call. This one starts with the victory salute, but the one done with two fingers to each side. "Excellent news," Vicky declares. "We have confirmation of the temporal events from Deep Space Nine. I have compelling data that I have encountered genetic derivatives of the dominant herbivorous life forms of Iota Geminorum IV." And everything went to turkey-based insanity after that. Again, they spoke rapidly in a language I knew nothing about. They acted like giddy little schoolgirls, just schoolgirls with their emotions surgically removed. The final call went much same way except that this time, the tone of the language was like the second but with the taint of a sleazy pimp or grifter thinking she was a mob boss. These were the kinds of girls you never let babysit your kids if you ever wanted to see them again. The way Vic looked at me and the fellas made me worry about how long I could last in her brothel and inspired an unexpected sympathy for these pests. "Zane, do you promise to stay here while I, umm, get some, umm outfits?" Victoria requests respectfully. She realizes she's asking me a bizarre favor. Balthazar's Balls, I've been tied to a cross; how much worse can this be? She scoots up to me, kisses me chastely on the lips and waits. "It is a given that my morning class schedule is toast, and I'm no stranger to the entertainment industry so knock yourself out," I allow, but I will have to pee at some time." "Check; I'll stop by the infirmary and get a catheter," she nods, then she kisses me lightly on the lips once more. "Thank you for this, Zane." She's off like a shot but is careful enough to get the deadbolt on the way out. Since I doubt Ms. Reveal can get a fire-axe through the door if the building catches fire, my buddies and I really are going to experience total protonic reversal on a life-ending scale. Only now does it occur to me that these fuzzy navels might have toxic side effects. I'm waiting around for God-knows how long when I hear some muffled noises, more muffled than having a Tribble in my ear. Scratch, scratch, "Girl, you get away from that door," Ms. Reveal shouted (I guess). "Quick, Mercy, hold her back," Rio shouted in response. "This deadbolt is a bitch." A scuffle ensued and I tried to shout loud enough to call Rio off when I heard two rapid-fire thumps. "Thank you, Ms. Black," Marisol Reveal huffed. Mercy had put up quite a fight, I guessed. "I will formally press charges when the Vice Chancellor returns." "You will go and sit your ass behind your desk, you incompetent buffoon," Black snapped. "I will deal with this and if you bother me again today, or mention this incident to Scarlett, I swear you will never see your cat again; and if you don't hop-to in the next six seconds, I'll make an audio recording of me strangling that shit-dumper and play it by your bedroom window every night until you go mad. Do I make myself clear?" "Ugh," is all I make out, but I hear Marisol's chair squeak soon after. The sound of a body, or bodies, being drug off faded away as Black left the office and headed down the hall. Hell, I warned Marisol. I can't do anything for Rio right now and I don't have too long to ruminate. "Marisol, are you okay?" I hear Victoria ask her assistant. It is a testament to their bond that even the hysterical Doctor doesn't miss her friend's distress. "Sorry, Victoria, I'm a bit, umm, heart-sick is all," Marisol murmurs. "Don't you worry about it." "Well, when you want to talk about it, let me know," Victoria stated. Marisol must have nodded because no words were spoken and Victoria came in with two carry-on bags and three dress bags while kicking the trash bag box ahead of her. Happy fun time was about to begin. "Sorry for the wait, Zane," Victoria told me. "Doctor," I made a desperate Hail Mary plea for reason, "you are a highly respected educator. We really need to take a step back and re-examine what's going on here." "Zane, this is my first teaching job ever," she related as she checked on the progress of her 'Trekkie' Posse. "My doctorate is in Philosophy; my Master's Degrees are in Comparative Religions and Women's Studies," she informed me. "All my graduate work was done as a researcher. I've never had a student." I blink dumbly at her; and here I thought my opinion of the Board of Directors couldn't get worse. Victoria goes over the language dance with her friends, switching fluidly from tongue to tongue in a manner that impresses and even fascinates me; and I've been to Bangkok where if you are trying to buy and/or sell anything and don't speak at least ten different languages or dialects, you might as well hand them your wallet or purse and go home. "Who do we need?" Vic said in English (just making sure everyone knows that the Tribbles aren't suddenly translating for me). "Kar'Thon," Vor' Dura states eagerly; "This matter is a racial imperative." "Are you sure the young man is old enough?" The second woman inquired. "Jarrod went all obsessive last time a boy crossed our path. We almost sent the kid to college." "That's what you get for marrying a Ferengi," Dura snidely remarked, and the rest laughed along with it; meanwhile, I'm going 'a what?' Some infighting goes on until Victoria and 'I married a Ferengi' call for peace, then babble a little more. Then the name 'Zane Braxton' comes up and I'm not sure I'm happy or sad that only one of them replies in what was clearly elation and surprise, the sleazy one knows of me. "Zane, I need to surgically remove some of the alien organisms," Victoria tells me. "It is going to sting like hell," I mutter, to which Vor' Dura says something and sleazy girl laughs. I do not like where this is going at all. On the bright side, Victoria doesn't rip one off of me right away; she goes over to one of the dress bags and opens it up. She's pulling out bondage gear, oops, my bad; she's getting ready to put on Klingon body armor. I have lost all preconceptions of what I was dealing with once Scarlett began stripping in front of me. She even gave me an appreciative smile and I was the one who was doing the appreciating! The little fuckers started going off. Remember, they don't like being moved and I was moving some around at the moment. No, my legs and arms were perfectly still but my crotch was striking up a chorus, its Handel's Messiah. There was this 'still' moment where Victoria stopped opening her blouse and the three strangers regarding me through the webcam became mute; then the laughter began. Victoria resumed her stripping but she couldn't stop smiling and snickering slightly. The three, the Klingon uber-cook or whatever she was and her two unknown accomplices, were laughing so hard they could barely communicate. It got better; when I was fully aroused and stopped moving around my pants, they didn't shut up and I was suddenly, desperately searching my mind to know how long that song was. This was because Vic got down to her, Oh, fuck, this white thong, and calling it white is generous as it looks like someone stole an under-achieving spider's web and gently placed it over her crotch, and I know my hard-on was not going anywhere but into something before it went away. Victoria was working her make-up on when two of the voices got themselves together enough to ask something. Vic looked up at the web-cam, over to me, then said a few sentences. "So, which one of you likes your ankles placed behind your ears?" I politely asked in Thai. "What was that, Brax' Zane?" Victoria asked. "I'm curious if I can take your virginity with my tongue?" I continued in Thai. "I cannot understand you," Victoria said again. "What are, ah, " "I think we should engage the Federation citizen in the Galactic Basic," the second voice requested of the room. The third voice, the sleaze, said one more then in her native tongue, then the second voice, and Victoria jumped on her. "I said, 'I think the native is getting restless'," sleazy girl grudgingly repeated. "Now, I think we should see if our plan 1.0 can be implemented." "Before the scourges make themselves hoarse shrilling out the hellish noise or I lose patience, transport over there, and kill them myself," Dura growled playfully. I'm glad someone else was having fun. Victoria walked up and took a deep breath, which caused her well-disciplined, thirty-ish breasts to bounce tantalizingly close. Her look was desperately fearful yet almost childlike too. "Kar'Thon, I desperately require your assistance before these creatures drive me mad," I tried to sound masculine yet pleading. On the computer screen, Dura quickly slammed her right fist to her right shoulder; I was later to learn that was a salute. "This is no way for a Starfleet cadet to die," Victoria beamed at me, "even if I know I must someday slaughter you in battle." Whoa, I've never considered NASA as a career choice. Maybe Klingon bondage gear/standard uniform could change my mind. The first person to tell me university life is boring I will punt to the Moon. "I am T'Luminareth of the Vulcan Science Academy and Reserve member of the Starfleet Exploration Corps here," the second voice spoke up. I caught sight of a picture of her with this, troll? Or maybe a dwarf with the worst case of cauliflower ear ever. "I would like to assure you that every logical effort is being put forth on your behalf." "Is that right, Tight Luminescence? Is it going to kill you to show a fellow sentient an ounce of compassion when you know he is about to suffer a fatal toxic shock from prolonged exposure to these vermin?" the third girl snarkily interjected into the conversation. "I'm Hical Cretak, Romulan freebooter and purveyor of ancient, exotic, and misunderstood goods." "You are a thief, and since you aren't in some asteroid prison, you must be an above average one," I said to the Romulan. "I confess that I am a bit happier to see a member of the Vulcan Science Academy since, well, I'm suffering a splintered memory. Some things make perfect sense but large details are simply missing." I figured I could provide Victoria some good game. She began rubbing my crotch and there was an effect alright, two in fact. The simple and expectant one was my trouser titan trying to unchain itself so it could get revenge on all of Victoria's orifices for taunting him so. My torturous tiny titmice began belting 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye. I think as an infant, I had a mobile playing this song in my crib. I started to really admire T'Luminareth's acting ability because she alone kept it together. Victoria made larger and larger circles over my crotch up to my beltline while Dura and Hical lost it hysterically. "Pssst," I murmured to Victoria. She looked at me and I darted my eyes toward her makeup kit and clothes. I am getting more clothes on her, why? Besides, I'd gotten a better look at her suit and it didn't have a butt-zipper that said 'Come Get Some,' but those pants rolled down like a candy wrapper and that 'body armor' has a back flap. I'd have to get Rio a set and I doubted Victoria would deny me her armorer's number. I was definitely looking into getting Mercy a matching Orion Slave Girl outfit, and here people don't think I make constructive use of my time. I was sure Victoria/Kar'Thon was breaking speed records to get herself ready while the other ladies began talking to me about a whole universe that was brand new to me. Getting three different and very conflicting versions of the rise of the Human-dominated Federation of Planets was amusing. Out of the blue, T'Luminareth decided she was going to create a team to rapidly move to my planet and take me back for further study. Vor' Dora countered that and Hical gleefully sought out salvage rights for the wreckage of the two expeditions. "That might not be possible," I intervened. "Some of what you've told me has fused some memories together." They all fell silent. "At Starfleet Academy, an Engineering Team and a select group of cadets," I continued to fantasize, "were directed to work on a, phased ionic drive." Ion drive was 'old' tech, or so Hical had let slip. "The drive failed catastrophically and we couldn't save the impulse drive, power was failing, we couldn't transport. The phased ionic drive detonated in the planet's atmosphere, creating a trans-harmonic disruption. I don't know if there were other survivors of our vessel. I saw another vessel either investigating our explosion or attempting a rescue but they burned up on their approach," I looked pained. "I don't think I could communicate with them and the only survivor I could locate was Kar'Thon." "Only a combination of our two vessels' technology has been able to punch a hole through the disruption and I'm not sure how long this effect will last." I now sounded grim but determined. "We probably need three things: We need to know if there were any special modifications to the Klingon Scout vessel because I don't think it was a standard model to get so close to an experimental Federation vessel." "Secondly, someone needs to pry out of Starfleet the precise specifications of that vessel, and that's definitely not me," I confessed. "Finally, we need to find a way to fuse those two designs together because if Tribbles are already being affected by an increased magnetic field, how much longer do we have before even the planet's magnetic field collapses totally and we fry (a SciFi movie plot, thank you)." Once more, there was silence and I was afraid I'd stepped way beyond my bounds. Only when I took in the masked facial expressions of Kar'Thon did I realize I'd done well. I was hit with the realization I was a word and a whisper away from having sex with her, she was so pleased with me. "I have friends at Starfleet Academy and they might be able to shed a light on what their cadets were up to," T'Luminareth stated serenely, but I could see a fire in her eyes. "I will research into every work published on Phased Ionic Drives, and we may be forced to work on a theory of what went wrong in case Starfleet is not forthcoming." "Not that I admit that the Klingon Empire ever had any such vessel operating in the area, Vor' Dura got out before Hical Cretak interrupted. "You have an officer on the damn planet, you cowardly idiot," mocked Hical. "I am a deserter," Kar'Thon declared. "I would say I was a 'scum of the Orion Colonies' but I found that you already claimed that title," she aimed at Hical. "You must die, you traitorous dog," Dura jumped on the offered plum. Thon/Victoria wasn't a deserter but she was ready to take one for the team, so to speak. "The Klingon Empire cannot allow your stain on our honor to exist. Now that we finally have you pinned down, we are coming to end you once and for all, and if the Federation insists on harboring a traitor (we were theoretically in Federation space) then, "I owe you a death, Vor' Dura," Thon seethed; "your death." "You may not enter Federation space," T'Luminareth insisted. "Before you two go to war, again, why don't you let me go in," Hical mediated. "I'm a free trader and have been to both Federation and Klingon planets." "You are a spy," Vor' Dura growled. "Being a successful agent doesn't make you any less of spy for your Romulan Senate," T'Luminareth seemed almost furious. "Unfounded rumors started by my, Hical almost finished before the Tribbles screamed. Not as loud as they had for Ms. Black, but they now didn't like Thon around either, now that Victoria was a Klingon. Cordelia scares me; this time Hical had the little 'hiccup'. "This is going to be fun," she chuckled, barely above a whisper. "I will get these vermin no matter how much they hurt the frail human," Kar'Thon snarled, but Victoria's eyes blazed with fanatic amusement. I was mildly curious if she could even respond to her true name but decided not to test that. She pulled out a rather wicked looking knife that I had to double-take to make sure it was plastic. The conversation went on around us as fictitious bits of data collided with innuendo, falsehoods, threats, and lies. This was roleplaying by some actors who took it as

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The Ledge #689: 1985

The Ledge (mp3)

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2025 120:02

As a rule I generally don’t go to class reunions. They’re just too weird for me, and I’m not great at the “what are you doing these days” types of conversations. But a few weeks ago was my 40th year college reunion, and a handful of great old friends convinced me to attend some of the festivities. Truthfully, I have to thank those old pals, as I ended up having a great time. Sure, my old man memory caused me to not remember some of these folks but I did my best. It also caused me to reminsce on the music of that era. I was the music director of KAUR my senior year, and it was such a great period in my life. Some of my favorite bands were putting out their greatest music, and almost every week there seemed to be potnetial new faves. The combo of this sort of reminiscing and the upcoming release of a live Husker Du box set, 1985: The Miracle Year, made the decision to honor that year on a Ledge episode an easy one. Here are quite a few of the great songs from that year. Yes, at times it does get […]

The Ledge #689: 1985

Real Punk Radio Podcast Network

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2025

As a rule I generally don't go to class reunions. They're just too weird for me, and I'm not great at the “what are you doing these days” types of conversations. But a few weeks ago was my 40th year college reunion, and a handful of great old friends convinced me to attend some of the festivities. Truthfully, I have to thank those old pals, as I ended up having a great time. Sure, my old man memory caused me to not remember some of these folks but I did my best. It also caused me to reminsce on the music of that era. I was the music director of KAUR my senior year, and it was such a great period in my life. Some of my favorite bands were putting out their greatest music, and almost every week there seemed to be potnetial new faves. The combo of this sort of reminiscing and the upcoming release of a live Husker Du box set, 1985: The Miracle Year, made the decision to honor that year on a Ledge episode an easy one. Here are quite a few of the great songs from that year. Yes, at times it does get […]

music live rock real radio indie punk underground truthfully kaur ledge husker du

Laura Klynstra is the author and designer of The Homemade Pie Cookbook

Dishing with Stephanie's Dish

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2025 26:46

On the latest episode of “Dishing with Stephanie's Dish”, I sit down with accomplished book cover designer, art director, and now, celebrated cookbook author, @LauraKlyn The episode is a deliciously detailed look into Laura's new book, “100 Pie, Tart and Galette Recipes for Every Season” and a behind-the-scenes peek into her world of culinary creativity and design.From the moment I flipped through the pages, it was clear Laura's design expertise shines brightly. Laura's background as a cover designer and art director, paired with hands-on experience working on dozens of cookbooks, comes to life in her visually stunning collection. Each photo in the book tells a story——and is surrounded by thoughtful prop styling, from vintage pie servers to antique dishes discovered at local shops.A special treat is Laura's focus on savory pies—think samosa pie or the show-stopping asparagus tart—beautiful options for every season and palate. The attention to technique continues with creative garnishes, like sugared cranberries and candied herbs, adding sparkle to your holiday spreads and beyond.Laura's cookbook recommendations are rock solid—even non-pie bakers will find plenty to love between these pages.Ready to up your pie game? Listen to the full episode for stories, tips, and plenty of seasonal baking inspiration! Enjoy these two recipes from Laura, one savory and one sweet, to get a taste of her book!Lemon Meringue TartMakes 1 10-inch round tartI love this twist on lemon meringue pie in tart form. For me, the proportion of crust to lemon is perfect, and it's even better with Swiss meringue instead of French meringue, which is a traditional pairing with lemon. Swiss meringue is cooked on the stove and doesn't need to go in the oven. It is softer and creamier, adding a beautiful airy sweetness to counter the tart lemon curd. This bright tart comes out looking lovely and tastes even better.Press-In Shortbread Tart DoughMakes 1 10-inch tart crustI've tested a lot of tart crusts over the years, and many of them are so hard, it's difficult to break off a bite with a fork. This buttery and delicious shortbread crust is delicate enough to easily break apart but strong enough to hold the tart together. Using cake flour is key to getting a nice, cookie-like crumb. This dough is not tough enough to roll out. Press the dough directly into the pan for an easy to pull together, delicious tart base.Ingredients¾ cup (169 g) unsalted butter, softened½ teaspoon fine sea salt2 teaspoons vanilla extract⅔ cup (73 g) confectioners' sugar2 cups (230 g) cake flourInstructionsIn the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, mix butter, salt, vanilla extract, and confectioners' sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add flour and mix just until combined. Press dough directly into a 10-inch tart pan, starting with the sides and finishing with the bottom. Bake the crust according to the tart recipe's instructions.Lemon CurdIngredients8 egg yolkszest of 2 lemons⅔ cup fresh lemon juice1 cup (200g) sugar10 tablespoons (141 g) salted butterSwiss Meringue5 egg whites1¼ cups (250 g) sugar½ teaspoon cream of tartar1 teaspoon vanilla bean pasteInstructionsTo make the crust: Preheat oven to 350ºF. Press tart dough into a 10-inch tart pan. Generously dock with a fork and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until lightly browned. While still hot, use a tamper or back of a spoon to lightly press down the center of the crust, leaving a ¾-inch edge.To make the lemon curd: Whisk together egg yolks, lemon zest, lemon juice, and sugar in a saucepan. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until mixture becomes thick and coats the back of the spoon, about 8 to 10 minutes. Use an instant read thermometer to check the temperature; it should reach 170ºF. Transfer to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low. Add butter 1 teaspoon at a time, mixing until fully combined before adding the next teaspoon of butter. Strain through a sieve into a medium bowl. Pour while still warm into the tart shell. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours.To make the Swiss meringue: Whisk together egg whites and sugar in the top pan of a double boiler until completely incorporated (see note below). Cook, whisking continuously, for about 5 to 6 minutes or until mixture reaches 170ºF. Pour into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Add cream of tartar. Beat on high for about 2 minutes. Add vanilla extract and continue to beat on high until stiff peaks form. Scoop or pipe onto lemon curd. Toast meringue with a kitchen torch or under the oven broiler. Keep a close watch on meringue while toasting to avoid burning. Remove sides of tart pan and serve.Episode Transcript Follows:Stephanie Hansen:Welcome to Dishing with Stephanie's Dish, the podcast where we talk to people in the food space and a lot of cookbook authors. And this book came across my desk by Laura Klynstra And right away I was like, pie! Laura, your book, “100 Pie, Tart and Galette Recipes for Every Season” is extremely beautiful. And, and I, it kind of, when I read through the whole book and I read through your bio, I was like, oh, well, she's like in the design field because honestly, this is probably one of the most beautiful books on pie I've ever seen.Laura Klynstra:Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.Stephanie Hansen:It's so incredible, like just the way that the pies are decorated, the color choices that you used for the intros, everything is laid out so it feels easy, accessible. And even like the whole rolling out the pie dough section, there's tons of pictures, the decorating of the lattice work, It's a really well done book. Congratulations.Laura Klynstra:Oh, thank you so much.Stephanie Hansen:What's your background and how did you come to be the pie aficionado?Laura Klynstra:My background is actually cover design. I'm a book cover designer and art director. But I also, during all the time that I've been an art director, I've also worked on a lot of cookbooks. So I gotten to go on a lot of photo shoots, work with food stylists and photographers. And during that whole time I learned, I just kind of sat back and watched and learned all the bits and it took time. I'm a self taught photographer. It took me a long time to really figure out how to capture light correctly. And light is really the key to getting a good photo.Laura Klynstra:So yeah, it was a lot of trial and error, but eventually I figured out a system to get my camera mounted correctly. I shoot manually and get that light, but I also, I consider every photo similar to what the way I look at a cover design. It's not just here's your pie or whatever it is you're shooting. There's a lot of things going on around it. And so it's telling a story. The photograph is telling a story. It's giving you a sense of the time. Especially like the fall ones are a lot of fun to shoot.Laura Klynstra:So many great things to props that you can put in with the photos for the fall shots. And it's just, it's a lot of fun.Stephanie Hansen:Did you amass a large library of props and did you have things already or were you always on the lookout?Laura Klynstra:This is my third book, so I had a lot of props already. I have like all these Storage shelves downstairs have the weirdest things. You know, I go to antique stores and I'm always looking for old boxes and just everything. Pretty much everything that could possibly have anything to do with baking. If I go to an antique store, I'm always like, I need that. Especially pie servers. Old, old silverware.Stephanie Hansen:Yes.Laura Klynstra:I hate, I hate photographing with a shiny silver, you know, piece of silver or a new one that it never, you know, for one thing, you can end up reflecting your camera in that. So these old patina silverware and things like that are just fabulous to have. Like, you just gotta have a ton of those in your.Stephanie Hansen:In your Agreed, agree. Thus my sort of background of stuff from my cookbook styling myself in. Can we talk about pie crust? Do you have, like, what you would say is your definitive pie crust that you mostly use.Laura Klynstra:For sweet pies? There's a recipe in there called a maple pie crust, and that's actually my favorite crust to use. It's very similar to a regular crust, except for a lot of the liquid is made with a pure maple syrup. And when you roll that crust out, that syrup gives it like a pliability that just. It doesn't crack the way sometimes you can get with the regular all butter pie crust. And it's just so easy. And so it's just supple. It's, it's. It's my favorite one.Laura Klynstra:But again, I'd only use it for sweets. Even though you don't really taste the maple, it's like, you know how when you add maple to something, it doesn't have a strong flavor, as strong as what you would expect it to be, but it' if you're beginning. That would be my press recommendation for somebody who's just beginning because it does make a really easy to roll out.Stephanie Hansen:I love this because I use vodka in my pie crust to kind of do the same thing. It gives you that moisture when you're putting the assembly together and the roll, but then it bakes out in the final product, so you get kind of a crispier situation. Maple. I've never thought of that. I wonder, have you ever tried honey? Would it do the same thing?Laura Klynstra:I haven't tried it. I would expect it would. And it would just add a little bit of sweetness. The other thing is buttermilk. You can add a little buttermilk that I don't know if you've ever made pie dough, and then put it in your refrigerator and left it in there for two days and it started to turn kind of like a gray Color, Yes. When you add some acid from the buttermilk keeps it from doing that. I'm not sure. I can't.I don't know what the science is behind that, but a little. A little. I think the vodka might, too. I'm not sure. I.Stephanie Hansen:That's a great.Laura Klynstra:Yeah.Stephanie Hansen:I know what you're talking about, and I'm trying to think if I've noticed it with or without vodka. And I can't say. Truthfully, I have, but, like, a lot of times for Christmas or Thanksgiving or any of the. The special holidays, you're making your crust in advance because you've got so much to do, so. So that's a really great tip. I love it.Laura Klynstra:Yep. Yep. And you can also freeze pie dough. So you can make. If you're having Thanksgiving and you're. You're. You can do it a week ahead, just wrap each one individually and then put it inside a freezer as a black bag and then throw it in the freezer. And that way you're just.You've got something that's totally done, even a week in advance.Stephanie Hansen:One thing that I really liked about this book, too, was you took pie into not just sweet places, but also savory. So there's a lot of galette and, like, savory forward dishes, like a potato bacon, gruyere galette. You've got quiche. Do you eat a lot of savory pies? Because that's actually kind of one of my favorite ways to do it. This samosa pie looks amazing.Laura Klynstra:The samosa pie is so popular at my house. So popular. We love that one. So, yeah, we do eat that one quite a bit. The quiches, we do a lot. Some of the other ones, not as often, but, like, the. The asparagus one is kind of just more of something that I would bring to a party.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Spring or Easter.Yeah. You know, like, that first time when you. Asparagus is one of the first things that comes out. And in this. In the spring. And so you're just, like, dying to get something fresh. We talked. before I started the podcast that. She's in Michigan, I'm in Minnesota. And literally, like, when you see anything green at the store. And we always jump the gun. Right. Because.Get produce from the coast before we get our own, but there's nothing better than, like, your own homemade asparagus.Laura Klynstra:Yes. And the rhubarb is the other thing that comes up the soonest. And again, I love rhubarb. It's.Stephanie Hansen:So do I think that's My next book, actually.Laura Klynstra:The whole rhubarb book.Stephanie Hansen:Yes, because I just. I'm obsessed with it, and I have, like, 60 recipes, so I'm like, you know, I'm. I'm about way there.Laura Klynstra:What kinds of recipes are they? Like cakes and.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Yes. Like bars and cakes and pies and custards, but also chutneys and pork dishes and breads, cookies.Laura Klynstra:That's a fabulous idea. I'm on board with that one.Stephanie Hansen:I think I might have to, like, submit that as my next proposal. We'll see. Another thing that happened this year about pies, I guess it was maybe last year, but it created quite a kerfuffle, and you address it in this book, is the loss of the chocolate wafer cookie. The company that makes the chocolate wafer cookie, I believe it was Nabisco, stopped making that chocolate wafer cookie. And it was the base for a lot of people's, like, mud pies or chocolate pie crust or the press in crusts or the cookie crusts. And people were really freaked out, and people were, you know, we need a recipe to make this cookie. So in here, you have your own chocolate cookie recipe.Laura Klynstra:Yeah. Yep. It's got the black cocoa in it. Like, it's actually like an Oreo, but without the. And if you do end up using Oreos, do take out that middle part. I always scrape out the. If you don't, you're gonna end up with kind of like a too much butter and it's not gonna work. But, yeah, you can make your own so that you're not adding all these preservatives and yucky things into your pies, but sometimes people don't have time.I mean, I totally understand that you can't always.Stephanie Hansen:And I guess maybe depending on your audience too, like, if you're making something for a kid's birthday party, maybe that will be fine. Not that we feed our kids less delicious things than we feed ourselves, but come on, we kind of do times. I do love to. There's a lot of detail in this book about garnishes and sauces. And the white chocolate cranberry tart is just a beautiful photograph, but it also has these sugared cranberries. Tell me about those. And. And obviously, putting them on a tart is delightful, but what else could we do with those? Because those were just gorgeous.Laura Klynstra:I've used them on cakes. And just even, like, even if you're doing a spread, like a holiday spread, they look beautiful in a little bowl. And that same method, the method to make Those is you create a simple syrup and then you dunk the cranberries in the simple syrup and then you let it dry and they become really sticky. And then you roll them in sugar so they look really beautiful. But you can do that same process with mint leaves, rose petals, rosemary. And it's just a beautiful garnish, especially in the winter, because it has that sparkle to it. It just makes it look more special than if you were just going to, you know, lay a sprig of rosemary next to something.Stephanie Hansen:When you started making pies, do you remember how old you were? And what is it about pies that captured your imagination?Laura Klynstra:Well, I really like the handmade nature of it. The fact that, I mean, before I made pies, I was a cookie baker. Cookies were my. Because that's the easiest thing when you're a little. When you're a kid. And I baked since I was basically able to. My mom was a wedding cake baker, so we had all the supplies and all.Stephanie Hansen:Wow.Laura Klynstra:All the inspiration was there, but I didn't start making. And my mom, she always, she loved pie too, but she always used the pie crust from the box, which I kind of hate, but same, same. She just didn't like rolling out dough. So she just, she just used the, the rolled. The rolled up version. But you can buy better versions than the red box. There are.Stephanie Hansen:Joe's is surprisingly good.Laura Klynstra:I think that, yeah, Whole Foods has one too. That's butter instead of like the other weird oils that are in the. The other one. But I think maybe all of my love of like rolling out cookies and then you kind of turn that into rolling out dough. I learned it was a learning curve. I don't think that we just all naturally can know how to make a pie crust and how to roll it out. And you have to practice a little bit. But the lovely part of, of a pie versus a cake or a cookie is that there's just more of your hands involved.Laura Klynstra:And because I make so many things electronically and digitally, because I'm a book cover designer. So to have to be able to make something physically with your hands is both relaxing and satisfying. And I think it makes like a more special finished product. It makes a great gift or something to share with people, to bring to the office or a party or a potluck, and it just feels like it. A pie has a slightly more personal touch to it than maybe a cookie does or a bar. Even though I love cooking bars, don't get me wrong.Stephanie Hansen:Yes. Tell me about your other books.Laura Klynstra:So this is The Homemade Pie Cookbook is the first book I've written by myself. My book just before this one was called “Gather & Graze” and I wrote with my former colleague who is also an art director. She, she does the, she works at HarperCollins. Sure. Mumtaz Mustafa @spiceandsugartable and I have it right here. This is “Gather & Graze” Stephanie Hansen:That's beautiful.Laura Klynstra:So this is more of like a party table spread book. So Mumtaz is brilliant with savory food and I'm more, more of a baker. She's from Pakistan, so she's got this really broad sense of spice and she's just brilliant with the savory. So we split this book up by anything that was baked in the oven I've made and then pretty much anything that was cooked on stove she made. And it's divided by country. So it's a really fun international style party book.Stephanie Hansen:I love that. I'm glad you brought it to my attention. I'll for sure put that in the notes.Laura Klynstra:Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's quite fat. It's, it's a, it's, it's, there's over like 170 recipes in it. It's not a, not a lightweight book. And then the book before that I wrote with my mother. Oh, look at that cute “Christmas Baking”. And this one is it, it does well every, every holiday season. And it's kind of, it's been out for I think five years. And so it's kind of a perennial, hopefully at this point.Laura Klynstra:And it's just, you know, all my favorite. But Christmas baked goods. There's a, there's a breakfast chapter in there for Christmas morning.Stephanie Hansen:Holiday high points. What's next?Laura Klynstra:I got my way. And who knows if I will. I would like to do a fall baking book.Stephanie Hansen:What would that look like? I'm thinking apple. You have quite a, like pumpkin chapter in here.Laura Klynstra:Yeah. Yep. They would have all of those, those, those cozy. It would just be all the cozy, cozy recipes. And I just love the styling of fall too. Fall is one of my favorite seasons. So. Yeah, that would be, that would be super fun.Laura Klynstra:But I also have another idea for, called like, I want to call it Paradise Baking or Baking paradise, which would be all tropical recipes.Stephanie Hansen:That's a great idea. And that's not something we've seen before.Laura Klynstra:I don't, I haven't seen it. No. I have a second home in Guatemala so I could do a lot of the photography there, which would be fun. Yeah. The first few recipes in the Homemade Pie Cookbook were Shot in Guatemala. The line Mango and the hummingbird pie. So I got all of those props while I was down there.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. In the. And beautiful colors. You also dedicate, like a whole spread to apples for pie. And we just talked about this on our TV show that I'm on. And Honeycrisp is obviously an apple I use a lot because it's Minnesota. Granny Smith is an apple that I think works really well for pies. Do you mix your types of apples? Apples when you're making apple pie?Laura Klynstra:Sometimes I do. The Pink lady is actually one of my favorite ones now that I've been, you know, baking so many apple pies. It's got, like, a tartness to it. But yeah, there you can mix them for sure. Just don't ever use them. Macintosh.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Or like the Red Delicious, which is now. Oh, yeah, that's the worst selling apple.Laura Klynstra:They aren't very delicious.Stephanie Hansen:They're not. And it's kind of funny that, like, that was like our lunchbox apple for basically our whole lives. Like, why did we have to eat such terrible apples? I'm so glad they've gotten better.Laura Klynstra:Yes. There's some. I mean, pretty much every variety is better.Stephanie Hansen:Yes, Pretty much. When you make a galette or a tart, let's just say savory, do you adjust that dough at all or do you use your same basic pie dough?Laura Klynstra:I use the same. Well, the. The tart is a totally different dough, but the galette is the same pie dough as the regular pies.Stephanie Hansen:And just.Laura Klynstra:You could use them. Yeah, you could use the maple pie. You could make the maple crust for a galette as well. If you. If it's a sweet, I wouldn't put it on a savory.Stephanie Hansen:When would you ever make, like. I love the idea of slab pies because I think they're kind of cool looking, but they seem like they're just not great. Like, I don't know who's gonna get the middle piece. And then it's just always, like, so messy and kind of falls apart. I love the idea of like, everyone getting a little bit of crust on the edge and then having their perfect little triangle. Do you serve slab pies a lot? And am I missing the boat here?Laura Klynstra:Oh, not a lot, but I would bring them to more of like a potluck or something. The same thing that I would bring bars to. Although you. You really can't pick it up and eat it.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah.Laura Klynstra:Because it's going to be kind of a more gooey center than A. Than a. And then a bar. But it's just. It's. You get a little bit more. It's going to go farther than a. Than a pie.Laura Klynstra:So if you just want to bring one thing and it needs to cover more people, I would bring a slab pie for that. Like a. Like a potluck summer potluck.Stephanie Hansen:People always ask me what my favorite recipe is in my book, and I always have the dumbest answers. So if I ask you what's your favorite recipe in your book, do you, like, have a answer that you're set on?Laura Klynstra:Well, the lemon meringue tart on the COVID is one of my favorite recipes in the book, and I've never been a big lemon meringue pie person, and I don't know why. It's. This is a. Has a Swiss meringue, and it's a little bit different than the lemon meringue pies that, you know, we all grew up eating. And I also feel like lemon meringue pie has too much lemon to, like, the crust is too little to the lemon. Like, the ratio.Stephanie Hansen:The big, like, meringue.Laura Klynstra:Yeah. Yeah. So this, I feel like, is the perfect ratio of meringue to lemon to crust. It's got a thick shortbread crust on it. So it's. It's actually kind of reminiscent of those lemon bars. And you're from the Midwest, so you probably had those lemon bars that everybody likes to crust. Yep.Laura Klynstra:It's. It's kind of like an elevated version of one of those lemon bars.Stephanie Hansen:Okay. I'm going to have to try it, because I always make something with lemon for Easter. It's sort of just something I do for the big Easter brunch. So maybe I'll use this as my recipe this year.Laura Klynstra:Yeah.Stephanie Hansen:How long does it take you to work on a book?Laura Klynstra:Well, I mean, it's hard to give a full, like, because there's a lot of time thinking about it and planning. Like, my first step to doing a book is to. Is writing the table of contents.Laura Klynstra:Is that what you do, too?Stephanie Hansen:Yes.Laura Klynstra:Yeah, I do it.Stephanie Hansen:So spreadsheet of all the recipes I think I want, then I sort of, like, try to organize them in some way, and then I start, like, thinking about the narrative and where I'm going to.Laura Klynstra:Right.Stephanie Hansen:I'm going to start.Laura Klynstra:Right. And so there's, like, this long, like, thinking period that you're not. It's just. I don't know. So it's. It's hard to put a time on how long it takes, but Once the. Once everything is set and I've gotten a few shots done and a few recipes tested, I can. I can do a book in a year and a half or a year if I'm really focused on it.Laura Klynstra:But I'm also doing all the photography and the design. So it's. It's a pretty intense process.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Because I just submit my photographs and my word docs and, you know, the designer makes it look pretty, and, gosh, you have to do the whole thing. That is harder.Laura Klynstra:And I don't have to, but, you know, you've done this much, and I am a designer. It's kind of hard to hand the design off somebody else when you're. That's like what I do. So.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, of course, when you think about other books that. Cookbooks that you love, whether from a design feature or from just like that, you go back to them and use them a lot. Give me, like, a couple of your favorites.Laura Klynstra:The Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook. I don't know if you have that. It's got an orange spine. It's kind of like a go to, like, oh, I want to make banana bread. It's just so reliable. So that one is always in my kitchen. I also really like the Bake From Scratch series. Have you seen those? Big.Laura Klynstra:They're really huge. I think they're. They're not written all by the same person. I think there's an editor that collects recipes. It's based on the magazine, I believe. But the thing I love about those is there's so many recipes in those books. They're just loaded with recipes, and then you can just kind of page through and get all kinds of inspiration and ideas. So I love those.Laura Klynstra:I'm a big fan of Erin Jean McDowell, who is also a pie person. I like watching her on, like, her videos and stuff.Stephanie Hansen:Do you watch a lot of people, like, on YouTube?Laura Klynstra:Not a lot, no. I mean, mostly on Instagram. I'm. I'm watching, you know, the quicker reels that come through. And, yeah, one of the. One of the things that made me so inspired to want to do the fall thing is, is when you. When the fall baking stuff starts coming out on Instagram and all these beautiful baked goods and this. This wonderful mood of cozy comes through, it's like, people are.Laura Klynstra:Creators are just amazing at how they. They put this mood out there, and I just. I love it.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, it's pretty. Pretty delightful. I was just gonna think of another question I had for you, but it totally just fell out of my brain right As I thought about it, do you, have you ever had the chance to meet like any other bakers in any of your cookbook travels?Laura Klynstra:Specifically bakers. It seems like most of the books I've worked on have been more chef related. Like cooks like Melissa Clark. I worked on some of her cookbooks. I did the photography for Bri McCoy. She. I don't know if you've seen her book. It's called the Cook's Book.Laura Klynstra:Yep, I did her photography for that book, so I've that kind of stuff, but I haven't done any specifically for bakers.Stephanie Hansen:So if in your, in your work life, do you like, like when someone gives you a recipe and you're like the person that photographs it and does the final like, is that an appealing piece of work for you?Laura Klynstra:Oh yeah. I love to do that too. Yeah. Yeah. Actually got a couple of them in the works right now that are coming down the pipeline.Stephanie Hansen:There's a lot of creators that do that and I didn't realize that, but that they, they maybe have a favorite recipe or they have recipes but they don't have the time or they don't want to be the one who puts it together for the book. So they hire all that out. Do you get any jobs like that that are one offs or do you mostly just do like a whole project?Laura Klynstra:Mostly a whole project.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. It's, it's interesting. There's a lot of people out there that will cook your stuff if you find the right person. And I didn't realize that that was such a robust business, but apparently it is. Do you keep like a food blog yourself or is it mostly just the book?Laura Klynstra:Mostly I'm mostly in the book. But we have, I have. My friend who wrote Gathering Grace with me have a. We. We have an Instagram that's called Spice and Sugar. Oh, she's the spice and sugar table. Because spicy sugar was taken and she's the spice and I'm the sugar. Of course that's sweet.Stephanie Hansen:And you guys share it. So you just post when you're inspired?Laura Klynstra:Yeah, yeah. And we don't. We, we haven't posted.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Sometimes like what sounds good and feels good just falls away, right? It's no reason or rhyme. Just all of a sudden you're like not as interested in that anymore.Laura Klynstra:Well, I think we're, and we're so, both of us are so focused in the book world and our career. Careers are very busy. So it's like I feel, I feel like to really maintain one of those robust social media sites you have to be pretty much focused on it.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Some people post, like, on Facebook, like, 12 times a day. I don't know. They manage it all. But do you watch any baking shows? Like, are you a great British Bake off aficionado or.Laura Klynstra:I don't. I watch almost no tv.Stephanie Hansen:Okay, So I love that. And you have chickens too, right?Laura Klynstra:And I have chickens and duck.Stephanie Hansen:Okay. And do you eat the duck eggs and the chicken eggs?Laura Klynstra:Obviously, yeah. Usually the duck eggs I use in baking. I don't. You know, it has a slightly different flavor, and if you're not used to it, it's kind of like. It feels a little weird. But they're. They're actually have a higher fat content in a duck egg, and they're really great for baking, especially for cakes and.Stephanie Hansen:Oh, I love that. I don't think I ever thought about duck eggs in context of baking. That's so neat.Laura Klynstra:They're a little larger, so you might. Sometimes you have to be a little, like, careful because.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah.Laura Klynstra:You know, they might end up being too much egg in here, depending on how many eggs are in the. Like, if there's four eggs, you would probably only put three.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, you can kind of see it, too, when you have the egg, like, the size. All right. The book is the Homemade pie Cookbook. It's 100 pie, tart, and galette recipes for every season. Like I said, it's beautiful. But even if you're, like, not thinking you're a pie person, I really think people would like this book because there's ice cream pies, there is icebox pies. Again, there's a lot of savory. There's tarts, there's little.Stephanie Hansen:There's some cookies in here, some sauces. There's just a lot of different things. When I started to go through the book, I was pleasantly surprised that there's a lot to offer here. There's whoopie pies. Your whoopie pie recipe looked great. Yeah. Everybody loves a good whoopee pie, don't they?Laura Klynstra:Yeah. I thought I might be stretching it a little bit with that one, but I'm like, it's called pie, so it's a pie.Stephanie Hansen:That's right. It's Laura Kleinstra, The Homemade Pie Cookbook. Thanks for being with me today, Laura.Laura Klynstra:Thank you so much for having me.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, for sure. And when you get your. When you get your next book ready, give me a call anytime. I love talking to you.Laura Klynstra:Okay, great.Stephanie Hansen:Okay. All right. Bye. Bye.Laura Klynstra:Bye. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stephaniehansen.substack.com/subscribe

Laura Klynstra is the author and designer of The Homemade Pie Cookbook

Makers of Minnesota

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2025 26:46

On the latest episode of “Dishing with Stephanie's Dish”, I sit down with accomplished book cover designer, art director, and now, celebrated cookbook author, @LauraKlyn The episode is a deliciously detailed look into Laura's new book, “100 Pie, Tart and Galette Recipes for Every Season” and a behind-the-scenes peek into her world of culinary creativity and design.From the moment I flipped through the pages, it was clear Laura's design expertise shines brightly. Laura's background as a cover designer and art director, paired with hands-on experience working on dozens of cookbooks, comes to life in her visually stunning collection. Each photo in the book tells a story——and is surrounded by thoughtful prop styling, from vintage pie servers to antique dishes discovered at local shops.A special treat is Laura's focus on savory pies—think samosa pie or the show-stopping asparagus tart—beautiful options for every season and palate. The attention to technique continues with creative garnishes, like sugared cranberries and candied herbs, adding sparkle to your holiday spreads and beyond.Laura's cookbook recommendations are rock solid—even non-pie bakers will find plenty to love between these pages.Ready to up your pie game? Listen to the full episode for stories, tips, and plenty of seasonal baking inspiration! Enjoy these two recipes from Laura, one savory and one sweet, to get a taste of her book!Lemon Meringue TartMakes 1 10-inch round tartI love this twist on lemon meringue pie in tart form. For me, the proportion of crust to lemon is perfect, and it's even better with Swiss meringue instead of French meringue, which is a traditional pairing with lemon. Swiss meringue is cooked on the stove and doesn't need to go in the oven. It is softer and creamier, adding a beautiful airy sweetness to counter the tart lemon curd. This bright tart comes out looking lovely and tastes even better.Press-In Shortbread Tart DoughMakes 1 10-inch tart crustI've tested a lot of tart crusts over the years, and many of them are so hard, it's difficult to break off a bite with a fork. This buttery and delicious shortbread crust is delicate enough to easily break apart but strong enough to hold the tart together. Using cake flour is key to getting a nice, cookie-like crumb. This dough is not tough enough to roll out. Press the dough directly into the pan for an easy to pull together, delicious tart base.Ingredients¾ cup (169 g) unsalted butter, softened½ teaspoon fine sea salt2 teaspoons vanilla extract⅔ cup (73 g) confectioners' sugar2 cups (230 g) cake flourInstructionsIn the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, mix butter, salt, vanilla extract, and confectioners' sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add flour and mix just until combined. Press dough directly into a 10-inch tart pan, starting with the sides and finishing with the bottom. Bake the crust according to the tart recipe's instructions.Lemon CurdIngredients8 egg yolkszest of 2 lemons⅔ cup fresh lemon juice1 cup (200g) sugar10 tablespoons (141 g) salted butterSwiss Meringue5 egg whites1¼ cups (250 g) sugar½ teaspoon cream of tartar1 teaspoon vanilla bean pasteInstructionsTo make the crust: Preheat oven to 350ºF. Press tart dough into a 10-inch tart pan. Generously dock with a fork and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until lightly browned. While still hot, use a tamper or back of a spoon to lightly press down the center of the crust, leaving a ¾-inch edge.To make the lemon curd: Whisk together egg yolks, lemon zest, lemon juice, and sugar in a saucepan. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until mixture becomes thick and coats the back of the spoon, about 8 to 10 minutes. Use an instant read thermometer to check the temperature; it should reach 170ºF. Transfer to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low. Add butter 1 teaspoon at a time, mixing until fully combined before adding the next teaspoon of butter. Strain through a sieve into a medium bowl. Pour while still warm into the tart shell. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours.To make the Swiss meringue: Whisk together egg whites and sugar in the top pan of a double boiler until completely incorporated (see note below). Cook, whisking continuously, for about 5 to 6 minutes or until mixture reaches 170ºF. Pour into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Add cream of tartar. Beat on high for about 2 minutes. Add vanilla extract and continue to beat on high until stiff peaks form. Scoop or pipe onto lemon curd. Toast meringue with a kitchen torch or under the oven broiler. Keep a close watch on meringue while toasting to avoid burning. Remove sides of tart pan and serve.Episode Transcript Follows:Stephanie Hansen:Welcome to Dishing with Stephanie's Dish, the podcast where we talk to people in the food space and a lot of cookbook authors. And this book came across my desk by Laura Klynstra And right away I was like, pie! Laura, your book, “100 Pie, Tart and Galette Recipes for Every Season” is extremely beautiful. And, and I, it kind of, when I read through the whole book and I read through your bio, I was like, oh, well, she's like in the design field because honestly, this is probably one of the most beautiful books on pie I've ever seen.Laura Klynstra:Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.Stephanie Hansen:It's so incredible, like just the way that the pies are decorated, the color choices that you used for the intros, everything is laid out so it feels easy, accessible. And even like the whole rolling out the pie dough section, there's tons of pictures, the decorating of the lattice work, It's a really well done book. Congratulations.Laura Klynstra:Oh, thank you so much.Stephanie Hansen:What's your background and how did you come to be the pie aficionado?Laura Klynstra:My background is actually cover design. I'm a book cover designer and art director. But I also, during all the time that I've been an art director, I've also worked on a lot of cookbooks. So I gotten to go on a lot of photo shoots, work with food stylists and photographers. And during that whole time I learned, I just kind of sat back and watched and learned all the bits and it took time. I'm a self taught photographer. It took me a long time to really figure out how to capture light correctly. And light is really the key to getting a good photo.Laura Klynstra:So yeah, it was a lot of trial and error, but eventually I figured out a system to get my camera mounted correctly. I shoot manually and get that light, but I also, I consider every photo similar to what the way I look at a cover design. It's not just here's your pie or whatever it is you're shooting. There's a lot of things going on around it. And so it's telling a story. The photograph is telling a story. It's giving you a sense of the time. Especially like the fall ones are a lot of fun to shoot.Laura Klynstra:So many great things to props that you can put in with the photos for the fall shots. And it's just, it's a lot of fun.Stephanie Hansen:Did you amass a large library of props and did you have things already or were you always on the lookout?Laura Klynstra:This is my third book, so I had a lot of props already. I have like all these Storage shelves downstairs have the weirdest things. You know, I go to antique stores and I'm always looking for old boxes and just everything. Pretty much everything that could possibly have anything to do with baking. If I go to an antique store, I'm always like, I need that. Especially pie servers. Old, old silverware.Stephanie Hansen:Yes.Laura Klynstra:I hate, I hate photographing with a shiny silver, you know, piece of silver or a new one that it never, you know, for one thing, you can end up reflecting your camera in that. So these old patina silverware and things like that are just fabulous to have. Like, you just gotta have a ton of those in your.Stephanie Hansen:In your Agreed, agree. Thus my sort of background of stuff from my cookbook styling myself in. Can we talk about pie crust? Do you have, like, what you would say is your definitive pie crust that you mostly use.Laura Klynstra:For sweet pies? There's a recipe in there called a maple pie crust, and that's actually my favorite crust to use. It's very similar to a regular crust, except for a lot of the liquid is made with a pure maple syrup. And when you roll that crust out, that syrup gives it like a pliability that just. It doesn't crack the way sometimes you can get with the regular all butter pie crust. And it's just so easy. And so it's just supple. It's, it's. It's my favorite one.Laura Klynstra:But again, I'd only use it for sweets. Even though you don't really taste the maple, it's like, you know how when you add maple to something, it doesn't have a strong flavor, as strong as what you would expect it to be, but it' if you're beginning. That would be my press recommendation for somebody who's just beginning because it does make a really easy to roll out.Stephanie Hansen:I love this because I use vodka in my pie crust to kind of do the same thing. It gives you that moisture when you're putting the assembly together and the roll, but then it bakes out in the final product, so you get kind of a crispier situation. Maple. I've never thought of that. I wonder, have you ever tried honey? Would it do the same thing?Laura Klynstra:I haven't tried it. I would expect it would. And it would just add a little bit of sweetness. The other thing is buttermilk. You can add a little buttermilk that I don't know if you've ever made pie dough, and then put it in your refrigerator and left it in there for two days and it started to turn kind of like a gray Color, Yes. When you add some acid from the buttermilk keeps it from doing that. I'm not sure. I can't.I don't know what the science is behind that, but a little. A little. I think the vodka might, too. I'm not sure. I.Stephanie Hansen:That's a great.Laura Klynstra:Yeah.Stephanie Hansen:I know what you're talking about, and I'm trying to think if I've noticed it with or without vodka. And I can't say. Truthfully, I have, but, like, a lot of times for Christmas or Thanksgiving or any of the. The special holidays, you're making your crust in advance because you've got so much to do, so. So that's a really great tip. I love it.Laura Klynstra:Yep. Yep. And you can also freeze pie dough. So you can make. If you're having Thanksgiving and you're. You're. You can do it a week ahead, just wrap each one individually and then put it inside a freezer as a black bag and then throw it in the freezer. And that way you're just.You've got something that's totally done, even a week in advance.Stephanie Hansen:One thing that I really liked about this book, too, was you took pie into not just sweet places, but also savory. So there's a lot of galette and, like, savory forward dishes, like a potato bacon, gruyere galette. You've got quiche. Do you eat a lot of savory pies? Because that's actually kind of one of my favorite ways to do it. This samosa pie looks amazing.Laura Klynstra:The samosa pie is so popular at my house. So popular. We love that one. So, yeah, we do eat that one quite a bit. The quiches, we do a lot. Some of the other ones, not as often, but, like, the. The asparagus one is kind of just more of something that I would bring to a party.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Spring or Easter.Yeah. You know, like, that first time when you. Asparagus is one of the first things that comes out. And in this. In the spring. And so you're just, like, dying to get something fresh. We talked. before I started the podcast that. She's in Michigan, I'm in Minnesota. And literally, like, when you see anything green at the store. And we always jump the gun. Right. Because.Get produce from the coast before we get our own, but there's nothing better than, like, your own homemade asparagus.Laura Klynstra:Yes. And the rhubarb is the other thing that comes up the soonest. And again, I love rhubarb. It's.Stephanie Hansen:So do I think that's My next book, actually.Laura Klynstra:The whole rhubarb book.Stephanie Hansen:Yes, because I just. I'm obsessed with it, and I have, like, 60 recipes, so I'm like, you know, I'm. I'm about way there.Laura Klynstra:What kinds of recipes are they? Like cakes and.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Yes. Like bars and cakes and pies and custards, but also chutneys and pork dishes and breads, cookies.Laura Klynstra:That's a fabulous idea. I'm on board with that one.Stephanie Hansen:I think I might have to, like, submit that as my next proposal. We'll see. Another thing that happened this year about pies, I guess it was maybe last year, but it created quite a kerfuffle, and you address it in this book, is the loss of the chocolate wafer cookie. The company that makes the chocolate wafer cookie, I believe it was Nabisco, stopped making that chocolate wafer cookie. And it was the base for a lot of people's, like, mud pies or chocolate pie crust or the press in crusts or the cookie crusts. And people were really freaked out, and people were, you know, we need a recipe to make this cookie. So in here, you have your own chocolate cookie recipe.Laura Klynstra:Yeah. Yep. It's got the black cocoa in it. Like, it's actually like an Oreo, but without the. And if you do end up using Oreos, do take out that middle part. I always scrape out the. If you don't, you're gonna end up with kind of like a too much butter and it's not gonna work. But, yeah, you can make your own so that you're not adding all these preservatives and yucky things into your pies, but sometimes people don't have time.I mean, I totally understand that you can't always.Stephanie Hansen:And I guess maybe depending on your audience too, like, if you're making something for a kid's birthday party, maybe that will be fine. Not that we feed our kids less delicious things than we feed ourselves, but come on, we kind of do times. I do love to. There's a lot of detail in this book about garnishes and sauces. And the white chocolate cranberry tart is just a beautiful photograph, but it also has these sugared cranberries. Tell me about those. And. And obviously, putting them on a tart is delightful, but what else could we do with those? Because those were just gorgeous.Laura Klynstra:I've used them on cakes. And just even, like, even if you're doing a spread, like a holiday spread, they look beautiful in a little bowl. And that same method, the method to make Those is you create a simple syrup and then you dunk the cranberries in the simple syrup and then you let it dry and they become really sticky. And then you roll them in sugar so they look really beautiful. But you can do that same process with mint leaves, rose petals, rosemary. And it's just a beautiful garnish, especially in the winter, because it has that sparkle to it. It just makes it look more special than if you were just going to, you know, lay a sprig of rosemary next to something.Stephanie Hansen:When you started making pies, do you remember how old you were? And what is it about pies that captured your imagination?Laura Klynstra:Well, I really like the handmade nature of it. The fact that, I mean, before I made pies, I was a cookie baker. Cookies were my. Because that's the easiest thing when you're a little. When you're a kid. And I baked since I was basically able to. My mom was a wedding cake baker, so we had all the supplies and all.Stephanie Hansen:Wow.Laura Klynstra:All the inspiration was there, but I didn't start making. And my mom, she always, she loved pie too, but she always used the pie crust from the box, which I kind of hate, but same, same. She just didn't like rolling out dough. So she just, she just used the, the rolled. The rolled up version. But you can buy better versions than the red box. There are.Stephanie Hansen:Joe's is surprisingly good.Laura Klynstra:I think that, yeah, Whole Foods has one too. That's butter instead of like the other weird oils that are in the. The other one. But I think maybe all of my love of like rolling out cookies and then you kind of turn that into rolling out dough. I learned it was a learning curve. I don't think that we just all naturally can know how to make a pie crust and how to roll it out. And you have to practice a little bit. But the lovely part of, of a pie versus a cake or a cookie is that there's just more of your hands involved.Laura Klynstra:And because I make so many things electronically and digitally, because I'm a book cover designer. So to have to be able to make something physically with your hands is both relaxing and satisfying. And I think it makes like a more special finished product. It makes a great gift or something to share with people, to bring to the office or a party or a potluck, and it just feels like it. A pie has a slightly more personal touch to it than maybe a cookie does or a bar. Even though I love cooking bars, don't get me wrong.Stephanie Hansen:Yes. Tell me about your other books.Laura Klynstra:So this is The Homemade Pie Cookbook is the first book I've written by myself. My book just before this one was called “Gather & Graze” and I wrote with my former colleague who is also an art director. She, she does the, she works at HarperCollins. Sure. Mumtaz Mustafa @spiceandsugartable and I have it right here. This is “Gather & Graze” Stephanie Hansen:That's beautiful.Laura Klynstra:So this is more of like a party table spread book. So Mumtaz is brilliant with savory food and I'm more, more of a baker. She's from Pakistan, so she's got this really broad sense of spice and she's just brilliant with the savory. So we split this book up by anything that was baked in the oven I've made and then pretty much anything that was cooked on stove she made. And it's divided by country. So it's a really fun international style party book.Stephanie Hansen:I love that. I'm glad you brought it to my attention. I'll for sure put that in the notes.Laura Klynstra:Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's quite fat. It's, it's a, it's, it's, there's over like 170 recipes in it. It's not a, not a lightweight book. And then the book before that I wrote with my mother. Oh, look at that cute “Christmas Baking”. And this one is it, it does well every, every holiday season. And it's kind of, it's been out for I think five years. And so it's kind of a perennial, hopefully at this point.Laura Klynstra:And it's just, you know, all my favorite. But Christmas baked goods. There's a, there's a breakfast chapter in there for Christmas morning.Stephanie Hansen:Holiday high points. What's next?Laura Klynstra:I got my way. And who knows if I will. I would like to do a fall baking book.Stephanie Hansen:What would that look like? I'm thinking apple. You have quite a, like pumpkin chapter in here.Laura Klynstra:Yeah. Yep. They would have all of those, those, those cozy. It would just be all the cozy, cozy recipes. And I just love the styling of fall too. Fall is one of my favorite seasons. So. Yeah, that would be, that would be super fun.Laura Klynstra:But I also have another idea for, called like, I want to call it Paradise Baking or Baking paradise, which would be all tropical recipes.Stephanie Hansen:That's a great idea. And that's not something we've seen before.Laura Klynstra:I don't, I haven't seen it. No. I have a second home in Guatemala so I could do a lot of the photography there, which would be fun. Yeah. The first few recipes in the Homemade Pie Cookbook were Shot in Guatemala. The line Mango and the hummingbird pie. So I got all of those props while I was down there.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. In the. And beautiful colors. You also dedicate, like a whole spread to apples for pie. And we just talked about this on our TV show that I'm on. And Honeycrisp is obviously an apple I use a lot because it's Minnesota. Granny Smith is an apple that I think works really well for pies. Do you mix your types of apples? Apples when you're making apple pie?Laura Klynstra:Sometimes I do. The Pink lady is actually one of my favorite ones now that I've been, you know, baking so many apple pies. It's got, like, a tartness to it. But yeah, there you can mix them for sure. Just don't ever use them. Macintosh.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Or like the Red Delicious, which is now. Oh, yeah, that's the worst selling apple.Laura Klynstra:They aren't very delicious.Stephanie Hansen:They're not. And it's kind of funny that, like, that was like our lunchbox apple for basically our whole lives. Like, why did we have to eat such terrible apples? I'm so glad they've gotten better.Laura Klynstra:Yes. There's some. I mean, pretty much every variety is better.Stephanie Hansen:Yes, Pretty much. When you make a galette or a tart, let's just say savory, do you adjust that dough at all or do you use your same basic pie dough?Laura Klynstra:I use the same. Well, the. The tart is a totally different dough, but the galette is the same pie dough as the regular pies.Stephanie Hansen:And just.Laura Klynstra:You could use them. Yeah, you could use the maple pie. You could make the maple crust for a galette as well. If you. If it's a sweet, I wouldn't put it on a savory.Stephanie Hansen:When would you ever make, like. I love the idea of slab pies because I think they're kind of cool looking, but they seem like they're just not great. Like, I don't know who's gonna get the middle piece. And then it's just always, like, so messy and kind of falls apart. I love the idea of like, everyone getting a little bit of crust on the edge and then having their perfect little triangle. Do you serve slab pies a lot? And am I missing the boat here?Laura Klynstra:Oh, not a lot, but I would bring them to more of like a potluck or something. The same thing that I would bring bars to. Although you. You really can't pick it up and eat it.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah.Laura Klynstra:Because it's going to be kind of a more gooey center than A. Than a. And then a bar. But it's just. It's. You get a little bit more. It's going to go farther than a. Than a pie.Laura Klynstra:So if you just want to bring one thing and it needs to cover more people, I would bring a slab pie for that. Like a. Like a potluck summer potluck.Stephanie Hansen:People always ask me what my favorite recipe is in my book, and I always have the dumbest answers. So if I ask you what's your favorite recipe in your book, do you, like, have a answer that you're set on?Laura Klynstra:Well, the lemon meringue tart on the COVID is one of my favorite recipes in the book, and I've never been a big lemon meringue pie person, and I don't know why. It's. This is a. Has a Swiss meringue, and it's a little bit different than the lemon meringue pies that, you know, we all grew up eating. And I also feel like lemon meringue pie has too much lemon to, like, the crust is too little to the lemon. Like, the ratio.Stephanie Hansen:The big, like, meringue.Laura Klynstra:Yeah. Yeah. So this, I feel like, is the perfect ratio of meringue to lemon to crust. It's got a thick shortbread crust on it. So it's. It's actually kind of reminiscent of those lemon bars. And you're from the Midwest, so you probably had those lemon bars that everybody likes to crust. Yep.Laura Klynstra:It's. It's kind of like an elevated version of one of those lemon bars.Stephanie Hansen:Okay. I'm going to have to try it, because I always make something with lemon for Easter. It's sort of just something I do for the big Easter brunch. So maybe I'll use this as my recipe this year.Laura Klynstra:Yeah.Stephanie Hansen:How long does it take you to work on a book?Laura Klynstra:Well, I mean, it's hard to give a full, like, because there's a lot of time thinking about it and planning. Like, my first step to doing a book is to. Is writing the table of contents.Laura Klynstra:Is that what you do, too?Stephanie Hansen:Yes.Laura Klynstra:Yeah, I do it.Stephanie Hansen:So spreadsheet of all the recipes I think I want, then I sort of, like, try to organize them in some way, and then I start, like, thinking about the narrative and where I'm going to.Laura Klynstra:Right.Stephanie Hansen:I'm going to start.Laura Klynstra:Right. And so there's, like, this long, like, thinking period that you're not. It's just. I don't know. So it's. It's hard to put a time on how long it takes, but Once the. Once everything is set and I've gotten a few shots done and a few recipes tested, I can. I can do a book in a year and a half or a year if I'm really focused on it.Laura Klynstra:But I'm also doing all the photography and the design. So it's. It's a pretty intense process.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Because I just submit my photographs and my word docs and, you know, the designer makes it look pretty, and, gosh, you have to do the whole thing. That is harder.Laura Klynstra:And I don't have to, but, you know, you've done this much, and I am a designer. It's kind of hard to hand the design off somebody else when you're. That's like what I do. So.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, of course, when you think about other books that. Cookbooks that you love, whether from a design feature or from just like that, you go back to them and use them a lot. Give me, like, a couple of your favorites.Laura Klynstra:The Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook. I don't know if you have that. It's got an orange spine. It's kind of like a go to, like, oh, I want to make banana bread. It's just so reliable. So that one is always in my kitchen. I also really like the Bake From Scratch series. Have you seen those? Big.Laura Klynstra:They're really huge. I think they're. They're not written all by the same person. I think there's an editor that collects recipes. It's based on the magazine, I believe. But the thing I love about those is there's so many recipes in those books. They're just loaded with recipes, and then you can just kind of page through and get all kinds of inspiration and ideas. So I love those.Laura Klynstra:I'm a big fan of Erin Jean McDowell, who is also a pie person. I like watching her on, like, her videos and stuff.Stephanie Hansen:Do you watch a lot of people, like, on YouTube?Laura Klynstra:Not a lot, no. I mean, mostly on Instagram. I'm. I'm watching, you know, the quicker reels that come through. And, yeah, one of the. One of the things that made me so inspired to want to do the fall thing is, is when you. When the fall baking stuff starts coming out on Instagram and all these beautiful baked goods and this. This wonderful mood of cozy comes through, it's like, people are.Laura Klynstra:Creators are just amazing at how they. They put this mood out there, and I just. I love it.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, it's pretty. Pretty delightful. I was just gonna think of another question I had for you, but it totally just fell out of my brain right As I thought about it, do you, have you ever had the chance to meet like any other bakers in any of your cookbook travels?Laura Klynstra:Specifically bakers. It seems like most of the books I've worked on have been more chef related. Like cooks like Melissa Clark. I worked on some of her cookbooks. I did the photography for Bri McCoy. She. I don't know if you've seen her book. It's called the Cook's Book.Laura Klynstra:Yep, I did her photography for that book, so I've that kind of stuff, but I haven't done any specifically for bakers.Stephanie Hansen:So if in your, in your work life, do you like, like when someone gives you a recipe and you're like the person that photographs it and does the final like, is that an appealing piece of work for you?Laura Klynstra:Oh yeah. I love to do that too. Yeah. Yeah. Actually got a couple of them in the works right now that are coming down the pipeline.Stephanie Hansen:There's a lot of creators that do that and I didn't realize that, but that they, they maybe have a favorite recipe or they have recipes but they don't have the time or they don't want to be the one who puts it together for the book. So they hire all that out. Do you get any jobs like that that are one offs or do you mostly just do like a whole project?Laura Klynstra:Mostly a whole project.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. It's, it's interesting. There's a lot of people out there that will cook your stuff if you find the right person. And I didn't realize that that was such a robust business, but apparently it is. Do you keep like a food blog yourself or is it mostly just the book?Laura Klynstra:Mostly I'm mostly in the book. But we have, I have. My friend who wrote Gathering Grace with me have a. We. We have an Instagram that's called Spice and Sugar. Oh, she's the spice and sugar table. Because spicy sugar was taken and she's the spice and I'm the sugar. Of course that's sweet.Stephanie Hansen:And you guys share it. So you just post when you're inspired?Laura Klynstra:Yeah, yeah. And we don't. We, we haven't posted.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Sometimes like what sounds good and feels good just falls away, right? It's no reason or rhyme. Just all of a sudden you're like not as interested in that anymore.Laura Klynstra:Well, I think we're, and we're so, both of us are so focused in the book world and our career. Careers are very busy. So it's like I feel, I feel like to really maintain one of those robust social media sites you have to be pretty much focused on it.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah. Some people post, like, on Facebook, like, 12 times a day. I don't know. They manage it all. But do you watch any baking shows? Like, are you a great British Bake off aficionado or.Laura Klynstra:I don't. I watch almost no tv.Stephanie Hansen:Okay, So I love that. And you have chickens too, right?Laura Klynstra:And I have chickens and duck.Stephanie Hansen:Okay. And do you eat the duck eggs and the chicken eggs?Laura Klynstra:Obviously, yeah. Usually the duck eggs I use in baking. I don't. You know, it has a slightly different flavor, and if you're not used to it, it's kind of like. It feels a little weird. But they're. They're actually have a higher fat content in a duck egg, and they're really great for baking, especially for cakes and.Stephanie Hansen:Oh, I love that. I don't think I ever thought about duck eggs in context of baking. That's so neat.Laura Klynstra:They're a little larger, so you might. Sometimes you have to be a little, like, careful because.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah.Laura Klynstra:You know, they might end up being too much egg in here, depending on how many eggs are in the. Like, if there's four eggs, you would probably only put three.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, you can kind of see it, too, when you have the egg, like, the size. All right. The book is the Homemade pie Cookbook. It's 100 pie, tart, and galette recipes for every season. Like I said, it's beautiful. But even if you're, like, not thinking you're a pie person, I really think people would like this book because there's ice cream pies, there is icebox pies. Again, there's a lot of savory. There's tarts, there's little.Stephanie Hansen:There's some cookies in here, some sauces. There's just a lot of different things. When I started to go through the book, I was pleasantly surprised that there's a lot to offer here. There's whoopie pies. Your whoopie pie recipe looked great. Yeah. Everybody loves a good whoopee pie, don't they?Laura Klynstra:Yeah. I thought I might be stretching it a little bit with that one, but I'm like, it's called pie, so it's a pie.Stephanie Hansen:That's right. It's Laura Kleinstra, The Homemade Pie Cookbook. Thanks for being with me today, Laura.Laura Klynstra:Thank you so much for having me.Stephanie Hansen:Yeah, for sure. And when you get your. When you get your next book ready, give me a call anytime. I love talking to you.Laura Klynstra:Okay, great.Stephanie Hansen:Okay. All right. Bye. Bye.Laura Klynstra:Bye. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stephaniehansen.substack.com/subscribe

Instructor Says Student Recording Comments Broke Rules

KMJ's Afternoon Drive

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2025 14:49

Philip dives into an opinion piece published in The Fresno Bee by Barri Brennan, a Communications Studies instructor at Fresno State. The article goes on to say -- ‘Truthfully, what they did was hurt the sacred institution of the academic classroom and as a result, assault our right to free speech in America’. Please Like, Comment and Follow 'Philip Teresi on KMJ' on all platforms: --- Philip Teresi on KMJ is available on the KMJNOW app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or wherever else you listen to podcasts. -- Philip Teresi on KMJ Weekdays 2-6 PM Pacific on News/Talk 580 AM & 105.9 FM KMJ | Website | Facebook | Instagram | X | Podcast | Amazon | - Everything KMJ KMJNOW App | Podcasts | Facebook | X | Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Instructor Says Student Recording Comments Broke Rules

Philip Teresi Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2025 14:49

Philip dives into an opinion piece published in The Fresno Bee by Barri Brennan, a Communications Studies instructor at Fresno State. The article goes on to say -- ‘Truthfully, what they did was hurt the sacred institution of the academic classroom and as a result, assault our right to free speech in America’. Please Like, Comment and Follow 'Philip Teresi on KMJ' on all platforms: --- Philip Teresi on KMJ is available on the KMJNOW app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or wherever else you listen to podcasts. -- Philip Teresi on KMJ Weekdays 2-6 PM Pacific on News/Talk 580 AM & 105.9 FM KMJ | Website | Facebook | Instagram | X | Podcast | Amazon | - Everything KMJ KMJNOW App | Podcasts | Facebook | X | Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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EP. 2: KEIRA D’AMATO Answers All Our Mother Runner Questions! (& Then Some!)

Why is Everyone Yelling?

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2025

Send us a text What didn't Keira D'Amato and I talk about!? From our most hated fruit to losing weight postpartum and mom guilt—we cover a lot. Truthfully, I could talk to Keira for hours—she is fun and a wealth of valuable insights for mother runners. This interview supplements Keira's amazing new book called Don't ... more »

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179 | From Launch Mode to Living Mode (Keeping Your Momentum Alive)

The Hayley Osborne Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2025 14:52

After a huge push. After the adrenaline. After the launch ends and the dust settles. What happens next? In this episode, I'm chatting about the transition from the intensity of launch mode into the quieter, steadier season that follows. This is where momentum can easily slip through our fingers if we think the magic is over. Truthfully, it's just changing shape. You'll discover what it looks like to keep your energy high and your presence strong even when the spotlight dims. You'll hear how I navigate this exact moment my business. Most importantly, you'll take away a mindset shift that keeps you showing up, growing forward, and trusting the seeds you've planted. If you're a health brand building something meaningful, rebuilding momentum, or navigating your own "what now?" moment, this episode is your reminder to stay in the room. Your audience isn't just here for the high points. They're here for your journey. Tune in to feel grounded, re-energised, and ready for what's next. I'D LOVE US TO CONNECT: • Instagram: @hayleykosborne • Facebook: /hayleyosborne • Website: https://hayleyosborne.com/work-with-me/

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Episode 185: The Only Question You Have To Answer And Truthfully with Betsey Bell

Renegade Talk Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2025 30:24

You will have to listen to get the answer, but there is only one. The rest of life is about the best you can do.

truthfully

Let's Be That Person - Daily Thought With Coach Daly - Wed. 10-22-25 #1699

Coach John Daly - Coach to Expect Success - Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2025 8:03

Look what I found - a powerful reminder for myself that I also saw something yesterday that my daughter showed me. This comes from Gratitude HQ (@gratefuledu64) and they shared this: “Let's be that person, who roots for others. Who tells a stranger they look amazing and encourages others to believe in themselves and their dreams.” What happened to simply being happy for others when they find something that fires them up? Why is it that so many people have to “dump” on people for sharing things that they are excited about? Why is it so hard to just smile and say to yourself, I'm happy for that person… good for them? To me, this is something that so many people need help with - including me. I need to be a better encourager. I need to keep rooting for the underdogs in life. Truthfully, if it's something that I don't agree with or don't like - I can simply keep scrolling or like I just did - hit the UNFOLLOW button, instead of piling on criticism, negative feedback, etc. Now, there are times for sure to “REPLY” to others and not be silent, but for the most part it doesn't have to be every single time you see things you don't like or simply want to rag on someone for being happy. Just my 2.5 cents. Thanks for listening. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share this with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on Apple Podcasts and ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter / “X”: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly - My YouTube Channel is at: Coach John Daly. Email me at: CoachJohnDalyPodcast@gmail.com You can also head on over to https://www.coachtoexpectsuccess.com/ and get in touch with me there on my homepage along with checking out my Top Book list too. Other things there on my site are being worked on too. Please let me know that you are reaching out to me from my podcast.

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The MHP Brokers Tips and Tricks Podcast Closing Cocktail Interview with MHP Brokers Eric Wanck and Josie Quiroga

The Mobile Home Park Broker's Tips & Tricks To Investing

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2025 8:35

In this episode of The MHP Broker's Tips and Tricks Closing Cocktail podcast, Maxwell Baker, president of The Mobile Home Park Broker, who chatted with brokers Eric Wanck and Josie Quiroga about their closing on East Village MHP in Oklahoma. While the park was heavy on park-owned homes, strong communication, a motivated buyer, and a local lender who appraised over asking made for one of the smoother transactions in recent memory. As with every Tips and Tricks podcast episode, this one is brought to you by The MHP Broker's proprietary Community Price Maximizer. Use this four-step system to get the highest price possible for your mobile home park or RV community when you sell it through The MHP Broker. Guaranteed. Call Max for details. Here Are the Show Highlights: Another Closing Cocktail, another win for the team — this time in Oklahoma with East Village MHP. Solid infrastructure, paved roads, and city water/sewer made it a smoother ride than most. (Max, 0:22) Buyer profile: younger powerhouse, already building a footprint across Texas, Oklahoma, and Louisiana. He had a clear vision to replace the older home by bringing in new homes to expand value long-term. (Eric, 3:25) Smooth deals are rare in this business, but strong communication all around kept collections steady and expectations aligned throughout due diligence. (Eric, 3:57) Lesson learned: communication is everything. When buyer, seller, and brokers stay aligned, even an all-POH community can glide across the finish line. (Josie, 4:39) The park was heavy on park-owned homes, which usually complicates financing, but the buyer came with a local lender who not only got it done but appraised the park owned homes over asking price. (Eric, 4:43) Proof once again that The MHP Broker's process works — an 86% close ratio and a track record of solving the tough parts before they become deal-killers. (Max, 7:16) What a team! Ask Eric, Josie, and/or Max to represent your next sale of a mobile home park or RV community. Get maximum price and minimal hassles. Call us at The MHP Broker, (678) 932-0200. Or drop us a line at info@themhpbroker.com. Power Quotes in This Episode: "This was a deal out in Oklahoma…fairly straightforward park, good solid infrastructure, and it all checked out in DD.” (Eric, 2:57) “The buyer did a good job of keeping us in check and keeping the seller in check, making sure collections stayed strong all the way through.” (Eric, 3:57) “Great communication all the way around. Buyer, seller, and our team stayed in sync from start to finish.” (Josie, 4:39) “Truthfully, anytime we have an all POH community, you kind of cross your fingers on the appraisal — but this one appraised over asking price.” (Eric, 4:43) “Communication through the process is paramount to having a smooth transaction.” (Eric, 6:31) “If you go to our competitors, they are in and out of contract. I guarantee you they are less than 50%. Our close ratio is north of 86% because we do the work upfront — that's not puffery, that's facts.” (Max, 7:16)

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Jack Tame: The underestimated art form of children's books

Saturday Morning with Jack Tame

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2025 5:17 Transcription Available

In the Mangle-Munching Forest there's a Nickle-Nackle tree, growing Nickle-Nackle berries that are red as red can be. I'll be very careful so as not to give up the end, but would you believe it's been fifty years since first those words were penned? That first sentence I read you is from Lynley Dodd's Nickle-Nackle Tree. It's a kid's counting book that's a bit of a Dr Seuss-ian take on New Zealand birds. And it was first published in 1976, five decades ago next year. Truthfully, I don't think I've opened The Nickle-Nackle Tree since it was read to me as a kid. But after our newborn son was gifted a copy, it didn't take long to commit most of the Nickle-Nackle Tree to memory. My son can't crawl or speak or catch himself when he topples over, but he can put out his fat little hand and turn the pages as we read. Lynley Dodd enjoys a bit of market dominance at our place. We've got heaps of kid's books, but there's just something about the language of her stories that gives them that extra degree… that extra edge. Whether it's Slinky Malinky or Zachary Quack or a Dragon in a Wagon, her rhyming is technically flawless. The cadence has a perfect, musical quality. If you've ever written a poem and tried to perform it aloud, you might appreciate it – that flow is much harder to achieve than you might think. Lynley Dodd's books use such rich language: jumbly! Rapscallion! Skedaddled! And I'm embarrassed to say I didn't know this until my son was born, but she illustrates her books herself, and she does a beautiful job. Of all her work, of course, Hairy Maclary is top of the pops. It's amazing to me how those stories connect with different children. When my friends in New York had a kid a few years ago, I sent them the complete Hairy Maclary, expecting that it'd be discarded soon enough for plastic monster trucks and iPads and big city things. Truthfully, I thought it might be a bit quaint for them or perhaps lost in translation. After all, America doesn't have dairies! But my friends and their son loved it. And I mean really loved it. Today, their book has that wonderful, taped up, slightly tatty quality of having been read hundreds of times. And that's the thing about children's books. They're designed to be read aloud, and they're designed to be re-read and re-read and re-read again. It takes a special kind of genius to write a re-readable story that's still fun for its reader to say aloud. That doesn't drive its reader mad! And think about the impact someone like Lynley Dodd has had. The countless moments of joy she's sparked. Is there anyone in New Zealand who couldn't finish this sentence: Hercules Morse, as big as a …? Of course not. I reckon children's storybooks are an art form for which a lot of people grossly underestimate just how talented you need to be in order to absolutely nail it. You know what I mean? It's the sort of thing that seems easy enough but is far more complex than most of us imagine. And I say art form, because finding a blissful blend of story, language, and images, something that delights children and adults, really is an art form. It's taken becoming a parent for me to properly appreciate just how talented the best of the best really are. And if the current reading habits in our household are anything to go by… I'd put Dame Lynley Dodd right up there. Five decades since she started publishing, her books haven't lost any of their magic. They delight my son today as much as they delighted me when I was a kid. They haven't lost a scintilla of relevance or appeal. Funny eh… how quality stands the test of time. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Unapologetically Profitable with Julie Boll

Fundraising HayDay

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2025 55:50

It's often a touchy subject for consultants and employees in the nonprofit sector – how much should you charge/be paid for your work? Truthfully, the answer varies based on your education, experience, and know-how. Charging less than your worth because you're working for a nonprofit does not mean you care more for nonprofits in general or the mission of one nonprofit in particular. JOIN THE FUNDRAISING HAYDAY COMMUNITY: Become a member of the Patreon SHOW NOTES: Julie's Viral LinkedIn Post Complete the Courageous Leadership Scorecard WHERE TO FIND OUR GUEST: Julie Boll Julie Boll Consulting

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Ep 217: Self-Abandonment in Relationships: How to Stop Betraying Yourself

Unf*ck Your Relationships

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2025 39:49

Not to break your entire self-image or whatever, but abandoning all your needs and desires for the sake of your partner actually doesn't make you a good person. Sorry not sorry. Sure, maybe it feels good to oh-so-f*cking-selflessly lay your needs down to fulfill your partner's instead. To be the “good girl.” The “cool girl.” To play the hero in his story. Right up until resentment starts burning so badly you think you've got a f*cking ulcer. Truthfully, self-abandonment is a relationship-killer. But it can be a subtle one, especially when you don't know what the fuck self-abandonment even LOOKS like. That's why I'm walking you through all the ways self-abandonment slinks out of the shadows and sets you on the path to complete relationship meltdown—and how to finally shine a light on it so you can clock it, own it, and clean it up. Martyrhood isn't a good look on you, babe. It's time you tried something new. WORK WITH MICHELLE: These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

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134. Living Truthfully on an Imaginary First Date

ask a sub

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2025 20:47

Ok so if kink isn't role play for you but you want to inject some role play in your kink… what the heck do you do? This Hellraiser-style puzzle box has summoned Lina from beyond the grave to ponder the ins and outs of living truthfully in imaginary circumstances, appropriate wig usage, and what to do if someone forgets to feed the cat. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a podcast, OTK with Lina and Mr. Dune. Submit questions for this podcast by going to memo.fm/askasub and recording a voice memo. Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Get 20% off your order at http://www.momotaroapotheca.com with code LINADUNE Twitter | @Lina.Dune | @askasub2.0 CREDITS Created, Hosted, Produced and Edited by Lina Dune With Additional Support from Mr. Dune Artwork by Kayleigh Denner Music by Dan Molad

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Grace & The Law (A Study In Romans) No.28- Prophetic Worship

GraceLife Sarasota

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2025 28:10

Christians have always been fascinated with prophecy. We want to know what God is doing, where history is headed. But too often we look in the wrong places—blood moons, breaking news, headlines that rise and fall with the day. Some follow people claiming to have the gift of prophecy, ignoring the warnings in scripture about what should happen to someone who’s wrong even once. But hey, that’s another sermon series for another time. Truthfully? I think those are the worst places to search if you want proof that God is keeping His promises. The clearest prophecy being fulfilled is right here, in the church, people who should be divided are united in Christ. Every time we lay down our personal preferences for the sake of the Gospel & unity, we’re not just getting along. We’re actually stepping into real-time prophecy. We become part of the fulfillment of God’s ancient promises. I think the way we treat each other in matters of personal preference reveals how much we trust God’s promises. So, how sure are you that the things you think are most important are worth the tension they cause in God’s family? How sure are you that your strongest opinions are the ones that matter most in God’s sovereign plan? That’s why we need this text today; because God’s vision for His people is bigger, older, and more beautiful than ours.

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Geoff and Marie's Good Life: Part 15

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2025

Geoff and Marie's Good Life: Part 15The Live Sex ShowGeoffrey performs in public.Based on posts by Only In My Mind, in 15 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.We were sitting cuddling together on the sofa when Colin arrived, with Mia in tow. Angie had offered to cook that afternoon and we were trying to decide what we fancied. I suggested a chilli con carne with rice. Angie decided otherwise."Kids," she called. They wandered in from the kitchen with glasses of milk and a chocolate biscuit each."If I go shopping for ingredients, would you two help me cook tea tonight?" The two teens shared a look and agreed. "Right," she announced, standing up. "Go and sort out your homework with grandad; I'll go shopping."I stood and went to get my wallet. She glared at me. "Go on. Do it," she challenged me. "I bloody dare you to offer me money to get food for the people I care about."I carefully closed the drawer and apologized for my insensitivity. "I just don't want you to think that we take you for granted," I explained.Her expression softened. "And if I ever feel that way, I'll say something, but right now it's my turn to give. Please allow me that."I went and pulled her into a hug. "Sorry Angie. You know I wouldn't deliberately upset you. Am I forgiven?"She returned my hug. "You were never in trouble. I was just reminding you that we're family now and I want to contribute too."She gave me another squeeze, a brief kiss and she left. I turned to the kids, who had watched our exchange, fascinated. "What?" I asked.Colin shook his head. "Not sure about this whole adult relationship stuff," he griped. "They are all weird." Mia smiled at his comment, but didn't argue. To be fair, the lad had a point."Okay." I clapped my hands. "Homework?"It turned out that they were studying climate change. Their teacher had given the class three questions and they were free to choose which one to answer. I suggested that Colin and Mia avoided answering the same question so they weren't accused of copying, and sent them off to the study.Angie was back and in the kitchen laying out her ingredients when the teens finally reappeared. Colin, ever the gentleman, had allowed Mia to use our laptop for her slides, while he had used my tablet. That was fine; it wasn't as though we regularly used our devices to cruise porn sites. Besides, I had made sure that Marie knew to use private tabs if she was viewing adult content. The kids were old enough to start learning about relationships. Images of explicit sex were not on their agenda for some years to come.I sent them in to the kitchen and, with their permission, went to check over their homework. I was reassured. If I had seen job applications written that thoughtfully, they both definitely would have qualified for an interview.I joined the others in the kitchen, only to find that I was redundant. Colin was slicing an onion, Mia was chopping mushrooms and Angie was trimming what looked like a pork fillet. She looked up and shook he head, smiling. "The sous chefs are doing fine," she explained. "I want them to feel confident that they can work without being micro-managed."I watched Colin. He was doing well. Slow, perhaps, but careful. Mia was taking equal care to have all the slices of mushroom a similar thickness."Shall I set the table then?" I suggested. The consensus was that yes, I could perhaps make myself useful that way."Set for a starter, main and dessert, please," Angie advised me. "We have a full menu planned.""Wine?""A nice white, maybe an oaked chardonnay," suggested Colin. "I checked on my phone," he explained, in response to my surprised expression.I grunted and went to set about my assigned tasks, and that was how Marie found me when she returned from work. "That's my job when you're the cook," she observed."I have been supplanted by our wicked betrothed and her evil teen minions," I sulked."That's nice, dear," she said, absently, as she bustled about putting her coat away.We went into the kitchen together once I had finished. My wife walked up behind Angie and gave her a big hug. "Geoffrey is feeling emasculated," she told her friend. The minions looked on in amusement.Angie gave a derisive snort. "It's my turn to cook with the kids because I'm here today. Geoff can take his turn any day.""There you go, Geoff," my wife reassured me. "We still enjoy your cooking, it's just that Angie gets less opportunity." Seeing as how I was only pretending to be upset, it was easy to pretend that all was forgiven. I accepted the explanation with a kiss for both of my girls and went off in search of a bottle of wine.I sat and red, while Marie and Angie caught up in the kitchen. Marie joined me ten minutes later. "Angie's bursting to tell me about her day, but all she dare say in front of the kids is that you and she had a pleasant afternoon."I glanced at the door. "I don't think we should have this conversation here and now. If one of the youngsters walks in, the guilty silence will just be uncomfortable for everyone. So how was your day?"And so we sat and I listened to her accounts of generous donors, sweet natured old ladies and the occasional twat who tried to bargain down the price on the ticket. For Fuck's sake! It's a charity shop. And Marie was clear; the worst offenders were most obviously not short of change. They were just tight bastards. Not that my beloved ever capitulated. She would just smile sweetly and remind them where they were, pointing out that they were welcome to try the same approach in John Lewis with her full support.We made the occasional foray to the kitchen but our offers of help were politely, but firmly, rebuffed. To be fair, the atmosphere was relaxed. I asked about the menu and, after looking to the chef for approval, Mia ran through it. "We are starting with cubes of baked breaded brie on a bed of salad with a lingonberry relish. Then there is pork stroganoff with green vegetables and rice. For dessert we are having individual warm pear frangipane tartlets with chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream." She paused. "Oh, yes," she continued. "If anyone is still hungry there's a selection of cheeses as well as olives, and some nice bread to go with dipping oils and vinegars."I did a quick calculation in my head. "At today's prices, I reckon that meal would come in at about £50 plus per head just in a country pub." Mia just grinned at me. I carried on. "Can I afford to get used to eating like this?"I looked around the kitchen brigade and saw three unreasonably happy cooks. Angie was obviously less demanding of the children and seemed thrilled to be able to pass on her knowledge. Colin just loved cooking and Mia seemed to be determined to learn so that she could help her mum.I turned to Angie. "This all smells wonderful. Wendy and Linda should both be here well before six. Is that okay, Chef?"Angie looked at her team. "Starters on the pass for six o'clock.""Yes Chef!" They shouted in unison. We shook our heads and left them to it.Wendy arrived first. Mia had sent her a text to say that they were eating at our place again. Wendy tried to apologize for intruding but we, particularly Marie, were having none of it. "We love having Mia with us. I know she's very mature but, as Colin is here anyway, it makes no sense for her to be at home, alone," my wife told her. "In addition, Angie is doing a cookery masterclass and she is way more tolerant of the kids than she is with me, so it's easier just to let them get on with it."Mia must have heard her mum's voice because she left the kitchen, briefly, to give her mum a hug before apologizing. "Sorry mum, but I need to turn the tarts so they brown evenly." And, with that, she dashed back to the kitchen. We led a bemused Wendy to the living room, sat her down and asked about her day. Her eyes filled as she explained just how grateful she was not to come home to have to start cooking a meal, even just for one night. She had a decent job in the Civil Service so money wasn't too much of a problem. She just struggled finding time to be the wage earner, housekeeper and mum. She felt guilty too that Mia seemed to feel obliged to sacrifice her spare time to help around the house rather than being a teenager.Marie glanced at me. We're not telepathic but I was certain we were thinking the same thing. Wendy was so caught up in being the perfect single parent, she had forgotten how to be Wendy.We never really got the chance, that evening anyway, to pursue that thought as we heard the front door open to herald our daughter's arrival. What followed, by then, seemed oddly familiar. Hearing his mother greeting us, Colin emerged from the kitchen, hugged his mum, and promptly departed, shouting over his shoulder, "Sorry mum. Got to dash. I can't let the rice overcook. Love you."Linda appeared as flummoxed as Wendy had. "I don't know what it is about this house, but there always seems to be something odd going on just lately." Wendy looked at her in surprise. "What?" my daughter retorted. "How many other throuple weddings have you been invited to? Even more particularly, how many with a Star Wars dress code?" She shook her head. "Christ, I hope it isn't genetic; otherwise I'm well and truly fucked!" She put her hand to her mouth guiltily and checked to see that neither of the youngsters had overheard. "Sorry all. That just slipped out," she apologized. "I've had a weird day at work too. Some half-wit manager wanted me to;” She did the 'air-quotes' with her fingers. "; Expedite a delivery to an important client in Nice.""Let's sit down and you can vent in comfort," I suggested. I led our daughter through and Marie followed with Wendy. "Now, go on. Story so far, idiot, big words, France. New readers start here."She explained that, in order to cover his ass for something that his team had screwed up, said half-wit tried to make it Linda's problem to solve. The vehicle in question was already in France and the driver had to observe French law. The only way to 'expedite' the delivery would be to exceed his permitted hours or fly another driver out to take over; neither was going to happen. Being Marie's daughter, of course she just picked up the phone and asked the operations manager for a cost code for the air fare from Gatwick to Lyon. Apparently the idiot had just assumed that Linda, being a woman could just, who knows? Make it go away?Ops manager had obviously queried the request and Linda, quite disingenuously, told him. It was not well received. She sighed. "On the upside, I got the problem back where it belongs. On the other hand, now I have to watch my back in case he tries to retaliate." She took a deep breath and sat back. "Thank you." We must have looked puzzled. "For just listening and not telling me what I should have done," she explained. She thought for a moment. "This place is still weird though."As she finished that thought, Colin appeared from the kitchen with a white napkin over his arm, to invite us take our places at the table. Linda looked at me. "See?" She mouthed. I could only grin in reply.We took our seats as directed and were joined by Angie and Mia. Colin disappeared to the kitchen and returned with the bottle of wine I had selected and placed in the fridge earlier. Handing it to me to open he returned to the kitchen. Angie cleared her throat. "Wendy, Linda; would you be prepared to let Mia and Colin have a small glass of wine with their meal? They have put their hearts into preparing it; it seems unfair that they miss out on that one component."Mia sat, apparently startled, and watched as her mother considered Angie's request. Wendy nodded slowly. "That seems fair. I'd rather she experienced alcohol in a civilized setting like this." She looked around the table. "Rather than getting hammered at her first student party at Uni."Linda nodded in agreement. "I'll get some glasses for them." Colin reappeared carrying three plates that he placed in front of Angie, Marie and Wendy. He made the journey again, this time serving Linda, Mia and me. He made the final trip for his own starter. As he sat, I reached across and poured a half measure of wine into his glass. He looked to his mum for reassurance. She smiled in acknowledgement. I poured a similar glass for Mia and then shared the remainder amongst the adults.I picked up my glass. "Ladies, Colin, a toast to the Chef and her crew." We four non-cooks raised our glasses in tribute; the cooks acknowledged our compliment and then joined in the toast. Then we attacked the food. The brie was delicious and matched beautifully with the sweet fruit jam. I watched surreptitiously as Colin finished a mouthful and self-consciously took a sip of wine. His brow furrowed as he reconciled the flavors of the wine and the food. He went back to his food looking thoughtful. We finished the starter and complimented the cooks on the flavor and the presentation. It had looked as good as it tasted.We moved onto the main course. Angie and Mia plated up in the kitchen, while Colin worked 'front of house'. Again, the meal was delicious. Angie's version was discs of pork in an onion and mushroom sauce made with crème fraiche, Dijon mustard and smoked paprika, finished with a hint of lemon juice. The plain white rice was perfect for soaking up the sauce.Colin sipped his wine again. "It tastes different with this course," he commented. "It still works but in a different way." He looked to Mia for opinion."Is it because the lingonberry was so sweet that the wine tasted sharper?" She asked me.I shrugged. "Probably. It might even be something to do with the lactic acid in the crème fraiche. What matters is whether you like it.""I do," she smiled and turned to Angie. "Thank you;” She hesitated. "I'm sorry. But I don't know what to call you.""Grangie," offered Colin."Or Angie," suggested our fiancée.Wendy seemed uncomfortable. "Isn't that a bit familiar? Wouldn't Mrs. and your surname be more appropriate?""Technically," interjected Linda. "If you were going to insist that we stand on ceremony, Mia should address Angie as Professor Weston." She frowned at the thought. "Nope. This place is weird enough already. Angie or Grangie. He's Geoff or grandad; that's Marie or grandma and I'm Linda. We want you and Mia to be comfortable here."Mia considered. "Thank you Angie for getting mum and Linda to let us have wine with the meal.""You both earned it dear," Angie assured her. "Now. Desserts, I think."Again, the two girls plated as Colin served. The tartlets looked amazing; a light short crust pastry filled with an almond flavored sponge topped with poached pear cubes. On each plate there was a swirl of chocolate sauce over a generous quenelle of vanilla ice-cream, starting to melt where it touched the still warm tart. I knew where Angie had gone shopping for the ingredients for the meal, and the small fragrant black specks confirmed that she had not economized on cheap ice-cream. This was made with actual vanilla pods. The aroma from the plate was amazing; it was all that I could do not to dive straight in. Still, manners required that I wait until everyone was served, so that's what I did.Once Colin was seated, we began. The taste was amazing. I glanced towards Angie in inquiry. "Star anise as well as cinnamon," she clarified. I nodded, impressed, and turned back to my dessert and savored the remainder. I watched as Colin took another sip of his wine and then Mia as she followed suit. Colin actually shuddered. Mia merely looked disappointed."Have a sip of water," I suggested. "And then wait a couple of minutes after you've finished eating."After the seven plates were all but polished clean, we thanked our catering team. It had been an absolutely lovely meal and the final course had been a triumph. Linda and Marie stood to clear the table, but returned immediately to sit with our guests and chat as we finished our wine."I've never eaten like that before," Wendy admitted."At home, you mean?" Asked Linda.Wendy shook her head. "Ever. My husband didn't like 'fancy foreign muck' so it was fish and chips, takeaways or just ready meals." Her voice cracked with emotion. "Even now, most of our meals are out of the freezer. I can boil potatoes and grill sausages and reheat tinned or frozen veg. My dad just liked the same old stuff too, so that's all my mum taught me. That's about my limit. At this moment," she admitted, sadly, "Mia's almost certainly a better cook than I am."Angie surprised me. She isn't always the most diplomatic of us. "Being untutored is not the same as being a failure." She reached for Wendy's hand. "Tell us how we can help, and between us, you have a group of capable cooks here who are happy to teach you whatever we can."Marie and I finished our drinks and Linda joined us in the kitchen. The brigade had washed and tidied as they went so there was only really the crockery to deal with. That went in the dishwasher. We cleaned the hob and worktops and sorted out the saucepans then returned to the living room. The teens had disappeared, leaving Angie and Wendy talking about food.When Wendy confessed that she would struggle to even shop for a meal such as we'd just had, Linda made a contribution. "A girl I work with wanted to branch out from the same old stuff she always cooks, so she orders from one of those on-line delivery companies. She swears by them now." She picked up her phone. "I can call her and if you decide to do it and say she recommended them to you, then you'll both get a discount."Wendy looked uncertain. The poor woman had no self-confidence at all. Linda left the room and returned two minutes later scrolling on her phone. "Here," she said, passing her phone to Wendy. "Jan told me how to install their app. Pick four meals for two people from this menu list and you'll get everything you need delivered next week, along with recipe cards. Jan said the instructions are dead simple and she's actually learning to cook from doing it."Wend called for Mia to come and choose with her and, together they picked four meals that they thought they might enjoy cooking together. While they did, Colin and I chatted about his first experience of wine with a meal. "It tasted nice, except with dessert," he told me. "Would a sweeter wine have been nicer?""Probably," I acknowledged. "There's a lot of snobbery and nonsense about wine, but some types do go with some foods better than others. I didn't find it clashed to the extent that you did, so personal preference and experience play a part too."At that point Mia called him over to see what she and her mum had chosen for the following week. He pointed to one selection. "Grandma makes that sometimes. It's ace."Wendy passed the phone back to Linda and the pair completed the sign up and the first order, making sure to claim the discount. Wendy seemed conflicted. "I'm a bit nervous about having to make something I've never done before," she confessed. "But I'm excited at the same time.""Think of this," my wife suggested. "As long as you have a loaf of bread, a tin of baked beans and some cheese in the house, even if it all goes horribly wrong, at least you won't starve."The conversations about food carried on until Wendy looked at her watch. "Oh goodness," she exclaimed. "Look at the time!" And after collecting Mia and thanking us for our hospitality, within ten minutes they were gone.Linda pulled me into the kitchen. "That poor girl's husband did a proper number on her: the bastard," she spat. "She copes okay at work because she knows her job. But as a person;” She paused, speechless."I know, sweetheart. We all do. And she's such a lovely woman too."She stared at me, suspiciously. "Are you three planning something?""No," I answered, sort of honestly. "But if an opportunity presents itself, we would probably try to help her see what a worthy person she is."

Geoff and Marie's Good Life: Part 11

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2025

Geoff and Marie's Good Life: Part 11Going DancingThey meet Mia's mum and rethink their terms and conditions.Based on posts by Only In My Mind, in 15 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.My name is Geoff. If you are reading my stories in chronological order you will know that my wife and I are both retired and involved, sexually, with several of her friends. One in particular, Angie, is so close to us that we have invited her to be a third person in our relationship and, to that end, we are planning a Star Wars themed ceremony to celebrate our union in front of family and friends.Gone Dancing.This account begins one Thursday, when our grandson had invited a friend's mum to visit us after school. Colin, said grandson, had asked us if he could invite Mia, a school friend, to our wedding as his plus-one. I agreed, on condition that her mum was okay with Mia attending and approved of her choice of outfit. As we were having our costumes designed and made by students at the local university's fashion design faculty, at our expense, I had veto rights and I thought Mia's choice was fine. But still, if Mia's mum thought that her daughter's costume would be inappropriate, they would have to agree on something else. That was why I wanted to meet them both.Mia's mum, well, she had told Colin that she wanted to talk to us because she was a little confused. I assumed that was because Colin had asked her daughter to accompany him to a wedding involving three people, with the participants and guests dressed in Sci-Fi characters' costumes. I respected the lady for wanting to know a little more about us under the circumstances, before she consented.Anyway, that was only one issue I faced that Thursday. The other was that the previous evening Lucy, an unhappily married artist in her early sixties, had offered herself to me as a free-use fuck-toy. Oddly enough, it took the three women to persuade me to accept her offer; I know; You would have snapped her hand off if it had been you; I'm a worrier, so I didn't.The thing is, the girls (their words) suggested that Lucy wanted to help me to explore my inner self. As a retired materials science researcher, that wasn't something that came naturally to me: as an artist, it was what Lucy tried to do whenever she could. Eventually, of course, I caved and the following hour or so found her bound and gagged, tortured with vibrators, nipple clamps, heat, cold and whips before I finally had sex with her, twice. Fortunately, she loved it. Unfortunately Marie, my wife, found my apparent excesses disturbing. That morning, she seemed as though she was still trying to come to terms with why.Marie seemed subdued as we ate breakfast. "Are we okay?" I asked, hesitantly, uncertain as to whether I'd strayed over some obvious boundary the previous evening."WE are fine," she tried to reassure me. "I, on the other hand, am finding that I'm not nearly as sexually secure as I try to try to pretend."I took a leaf out of Ronan Keating's book, or his songbook anyway. Oh, come on; 'You say it best when you say nothing at all'. Surely? Never mind. I sat quietly waiting for my wife to gather her thoughts.Her eyes filled with tears. I stood, took her hand and led her to the living room. I sat her on the sofa and cuddled up next to her. "When you're ready, I'm here for you," I told her. "You don't have to, but I hope you trust me enough to share whatever it is that's troubling you."She gave a brave little smile as she took a tissue from the box on the coffee table. "It's such a long time ago. It felt like it happened to someone else, until Lucy described what you did to her: Then something just felt so wrong. I realized, only this morning, what it was."I didn't feel so flippant now. But she was happy to talk without prompting, so I let her set her own pace.Taking a deep breath, she resumed her explanation. "We were both about ten or eleven. My cousin Paul and me. We were just playing together in the garden one summer and he found some twine. We were comfortable with each other so I let him tie my hands behind my back and he tickled me. It was awful. I cried. Then he touched me, because he could. I couldn't stop him. I was bound and totally helpless. I started to scream and he let me go. I never told anyone and, by the time I met you, he was dead. He had joined the forces; a Para. He died in the Falklands."Marie wiped her eyes. "It was wrong but, if he'd said he was sorry, I'd have forgiven him. We were only kids. But, without realizing it, I've carried that memory, buried, for years." She look apologetically at me. "I'm sorry, Geoff. When Lucy described how helpless she felt, it reminded me of that experience. I don't think I can do it."I shook my head. She didn't understand. "Marie. What I did with Lucy was for her. Yes, I went further than I would usually have been comfortable with, but I made sure that she had opportunities to back out or stop at any time. She didn't." This was important to me. I knelt in front of Marie and looked her in the eye. "If I never do that again, I won't care. If it disturbs you, it will never be repeated. But I will never ask any of you to let me do anything that would hurt you. Lucy wants to do it again. Angie is desperate to try. Sam might enjoy something similar, so might Megan. But you, my love, you don't, so I don't want you to. It's that simple.""You aren't disappointed?" She seemed surprised."Not at all." I thought for a moment. "Well, yes; a little." Marie's eyes started to fill up again so I carried on, hurriedly. "I'm disappointed that you think I'd feel like that. I will never expect you to do anything you don't want to. I will always accept "No" as a complete answer. No need to justify or explain. Are you reassured?""I think so. I think that I feel better for telling you too.""What about the others?" I decided that while we were having this conversation it was the right time to set boundaries.She understood. "I think I was worried that you doing this, with them, would normalize it. That you'd do it to me without thinking, or worse, resent me for rejecting you." She looked at with genuine concern. "You wouldn't; would you?""Never. I know who you are and I think I've come to know what you like. By all means let's test our limits, but never to the point where one of us is unhappy. Are we agreed?"She seemed much happier. "Agreed. And, to be clear, you are free to do anything the other girls ask you to. It was Lucy who bragged about what you did, not you. And she obviously relished every second." Marie pondered for a moment. "Well, afterwards, possibly not during," she grinned.We sat for a little while then went back to the kitchen, where I made us both a fresh cup of tea to replace the drinks that had cooled while we'd talked. We were just finishing the washing up when my phone rang. It was Mike. I'd offered to pay for him to take his wife and sister in law to the pub the previous night to spy on Lucy's fuckwit husband. I'd forgotten that he'd promised an update that morning. I told my wife that I'd explain later and hit the 'Answer call' icon. As Lucy was Marie's friend it seemed only fair she heard our conversation. I switched my phone to speaker."Good morning Mike. Marie is here with me and you are on speaker. Hung over at all?" We heard a snort of laughter."You should know, when you're involved with two women then obviously you get twice as much supervision. So no," he replied.Marie looked enquiringly at me. "Mike, Marie is just finding out that I asked you to do some spying for me. Tell us, was Eddie there?""He was. And the group he was with were an obnoxious crew. Loud, foul mouthed boors the lot of them. Not just the men either."Marie and I shared a look. "So he plays darts with women too?""Darts?" Mike sounded surprised. "Who mentioned darts? They don't even have a dartboard in The Fox and Hounds.""Well," I explained. "Eddie told his wife, a friend of ours, that Wednesday night is now his darts night.""Sorry Geoff," Mike replied. "The only double top your mate was interested in was bulging out of the low cut blouse belonging to the tarty looking slapper he was buying drinks for all night."Whatever vestiges of guilt I'd felt for including Lucy in our 'language classes' evaporated instantly.I needed to be certain. "Are you sure it was Eddie?""I thought you might ask, so I took a photo of my two best girls and made sure that my target was clearly visible behind them. I'm sending it now." A picture of two pleasant looking women in their forties popped on my screen. Marie and I both recognized Lucy's husband in the background. We didn't recognize the plain, big titted woman with her arm around his neck."Asshole!" Marie growled. I was puzzled. Lucy was admittedly at least fifteen years older than the woman with her arm around Eddie but she (Lucy) was slimmer, prettier and, from personal experience, a sexual dynamo. Why the Hell was Eddie rejecting sex with Lucy while he's all over the pooch in the pub?I reminded Mike that he and his ladies were invited to our wedding and suggested that they look on-line for costume ideas. I warned him that some had already been chosen but they had all of the film and TV franchises to choose from, so duplication shouldn't be an issue. He promised to send me images once they'd made their minds up. Becky, his wife, was excited to be invited and wanted to do something similar for their shared lover, Ruth, though Harry Potter was more their style.I reminded him to text his bank details so that I could pay my dues and, after we said our goodbyes, I turned to Marie. "Why?" Was all I said. She understood perfectly."I know Lucy is my friend but; That other woman, she's;” I was impressed. It takes a lot to render my wife speechless.I had to ask. "Has Lucy ever said anything to make you think that there are some er, activities, that are off limits?""For God's sake, Geoff!" She retorted. "Only last night she offered herself to you as a free-use fuck-doll. She's always been sexually adventurous." She looked puzzled. "I can't begin to imagine what that busty blob has that Lucy hasn't."Neither could I, so we shelved that conversation for later and turned our attention to preparing for our guests that evening. After changing the bedding from the previous evening's entertainment, we sat and decided on our menus for the coming week. A quick check to see if any store-cupboard items needed replenishing and we were off to our local supermarket. Marie hit the sea-food counter while I dawdled in the wine aisle. There was an offer on, so I loaded up on some old favorites and added a couple of bottles I'd not tried before. An Alvarinho vinho verde from Portugal caught my eye. It seemed an ideal partner for that evening's seafood dish. Into the trolley it went."What?" I tried to look innocent when Marie caught up with me. "There's twenty percent off. The more I buy, the more we save." She shook her head and guided me gently, but firmly, to the produce aisle. We returned home without further incident.Angie joined us after lunch and we worked happily together prepping for our evening meal. There would be six of us at the table, but we made sure that there would be some leftovers for Linda, our daughter. She was taking the opportunity to use her early finish to get her hair done while Colin ate with us.Short grain rice, seafood, onion, peppers, garlic and peas. Fish stock, tomatoes, chorizo and a pinch of saffron. All laid out ready for Marie to cook. It was her turn, once we'd had a chat with our visitors."Angie?" I asked, to get her attention.She looked up from cleaning a piece of squid. "Yes dear?" We were being unusually domesticated so her mischievous grin was probably warranted.I know you helped me cook breakfast, but you've never invited us to eat at your place. Do you cook or what?"I noticed that my wife was now concentrating very intently on de-veining a prawn, suspiciously so."I can cook," Angie admitted. I could tell that there was a 'but' about to make an appearance. "Quite well, in fact. But." Yes! I knew it was coming. "I get really bitchy if someone is helping in my kitchen and they don't do exactly as I say.""But you're okay doing this?" I persisted."Of course." She seemed to find the question rather ridiculous. "You ask me to rinse this; I'll rinse it. We're fine. But: In my kitchen, if I ask you to brown some onion in a pan, I expect you to use the correct pan, the right amount of the right sort of oil and to produce perfectly sliced onion cooked to precisely the right color exactly when I need it. Otherwise I tend to get a bit cross." She looked a little uncomfortable. "I know. That makes me sound like Gordon Ramsey with tits, but it's how I am."Marie was trying to keep a straight face but eventually surrendered. "I once tried to help her prepare a meal to impress her first husband's boss and his wife. I was slicing some carrots and the julienne were slightly different sizes. She threw them in the bin and we nearly came to blows. In the end I just did the washing up and let her highness rule the kitchen. It wasn't worth the grief." Marie reached across and hugged her friend. "I still love you though. Even after that." They were both laughing as we finished off and tidied up.We sat and watched some more of our Star Wars episodes while we waited for Mia's mum to arrive with the two teens. Exactly on schedule, the front door burst open and Colin bawled, "Hi everybody. We're here!" Marie went to greet our visitors while Angie and I turned off the TV and stood ready to meet Mia and her mum for the first time.Colin booled in first, dragging a tall, pretty teenage girl by the hand. "This is Mia," he informed us. "This is my grandad," he pointed me out to his friend. "And this is Grangie," he said proudly. "They're all really clever, but Grangie is especially smart." He dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper. "She's why your mum wants to meet. I think we're best off keeping out of the way." He dragged her away to the study giving her little chance to say anything but a squeaked, "Hi" before they disappeared.Marie ushered a buxom woman in her late thirties, an amazon, think Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones, into the room and they both stood for a moment, presumably wondering where the kids were. Marie collected her wits. "Wendy, this is my husband Geoff." I nodded a welcome. "And this is our special friend Angie." Angie copied my greeting. "Obviously, this is Mia's mum, Wendy."Now the introductions were done, Marie asked if Wendy wanted a drink and we all decided on a cup of tea. Angie was anxious to help, she isn't at her best in situations like this, so it fell to me to entertain our guest. We chatted about the two kids and I took the opportunity to size up our new acquaintance. That was probably a rather Freudian slip. Wendy was a big lady. Not obese, even plump would be a misdescription; it just seemed as though there was a lot of her. She seemed to relax as we spoke. Colin was obviously comfortable in our home, the noises from the kitchen were reassuringly domestic and I made it a point not to stare at her magnificent bosom.She was, in fact, a rather attractive woman. Pleasant, open features, a nice smile, long brown hair past her shoulders and, as I may have implied, spectacularly large tits. I made a mental note to ask Marie what cup size she thought Wendy required: purely for reporting purposes, of course. The other thing of note was that she was at least as tall as me; probably an inch or more taller.Marie bustled in carrying a tray with four cups and Angie followed with a plate bearing biscuits and cakes. Marie excused herself for a moment while she went to remind Colin to make sure his guest was properly catered for. Apparently they assured her that they were fine and would raid the kitchen once homework was done.Marie looked to me. Right; I was elected spokesman. "So Wendy," I began, settling back in my seat to seem less intense. "Colin has invited Mia to be his plus one at our ceremony and you are wondering what's going on. Is that a fair summary?"She took a sip of her tea before she replied. "I'm sure you can see why that is. I don't mean to pry but Mia's welfare has to be my priority."Neither of the girls seemed inclined to contribute yet so I soldiered on. "Angie here has been my wife's closest friend, since before we were married. I've always been fond of her too. But recently," I looked at the girls, they seemed happy with my approach. "Our feelings have intensified and we both regard her as being more than just a friend. We realized that we are both emotionally attached to her, and her to us." I paused to make sure that Wendy was on the same page, or at least not stricken with horror. In the absence of any expression of disgust, I continued. "We want to declare our affection publicly and formalize, as best we can within the law, our new relationship. Marie and I have already had a traditional wedding; so has Angela; twice, in fact. We decided that a themed ceremony might be more entertaining for us and our guests."She seemed interested rather than appalled so I kept going. "Hence Colin's invitation to Mia to accompany him in a costume to fit in with our Star Wars theme." I decided that was a good place to stop for feedback."So this 'ceremony' that Colin has invited my daughter to is to acknowledge you two, a legally married couple, inviting you, Angela, into your relationship?" She paused, gazing thoughtfully at us all. "That's so lovely. I wish more people would open themselves up to their feelings like that." Her smile as she spoke illuminated the room."Does that mean you are okay with Mia attending with Colin?" Marie asked. "They will be the youngest ones there."Wendy was dismissive. "Colin is a lovely polite lad. His mother seems nice and I'm not getting any worrying vibes from any of you. I'm happy and Mia seems keen to be there.""Has she discussed her outfit?" That was me."Her dad was a fan of the films, so I think I've seen them all. Most of the costumes are fairly tame, and the one Mia showed me, the white stretch suit, is no more revealing than the tight joggers and crop tops girls her age wear every weekend to go shopping." She looked a little wistful.I glanced at my wife and got an almost imperceptible nod in reply. "Wendy. If you'd like, we'd be happy to extend the invitation to you too; if you don't think Mia would think you were being a third wheel on their date.""Who would I go as?" She snorted. "Jabba the Hutt? I mean, look at me."We did. She was tall, broad shouldered but proportioned, with an actual waistline. Her long hair and feminine features rather mitigated her size. Did I mention her boobs? She had a lovely complexion too. All in all she was a big sexy woman who didn't see what we did.Angie said what I was just beginning to consider. "Cara Dune," she blurted out. Then, putting her hand to her mouth, she looked to me to rescue her. Wendy seemed nonplussed."We're part way through watching some TV spinoffs," I explained. "Angie and I admit to being Sci-Fi nerds. One of the female characters, Cara Dune, is a powerfully built woman. Let Marie show you the costume she has chosen already while Angie finds some Cara images. Meanwhile, I'll go and check on the kids."I left the three women scrolling through their phones and sought out the two teenagers in the study. I made sure they heard me coming; I wasn't trying to catch them having a quiet cuddle. In reality, they were both reading studiously when I opened the door. I smiled to myself. Colin's book was upside down. I pointed and made circle motion with my finger. He looked puzzled then down at his book and blushed. "Drat! Mia, we've been busted."I shook my head and tapped the side of my nose. "Be sensible and be discreet. That's all we expect. Now do you want anything in the kitchen?"They both declined so I left them to their 'reading'. I left the door open, just to make a point.Back in the living room, the three women were happily comparing notes. Wendy loved the idea of Mia in white and Colin in black. She was amazed at the warrior costume Marie had chosen and how similar in principle it was to Cara Dune's. She was obviously intrigued by our idea."The thing is," Wendy said, hesitantly. "I'm not sure that I can really afford two costumes. Not this intricate, anyway.""Sweetheart, that's not your problem," Angie reassured her. "I'm paying for everyone's costume. We're having them all individually made at my expense. You just have to turn up to get measured."Wendy wasn't convinced. "You don't want

Geoff and Marie's Good Life: Part 9

Saturday Morning with Jack Tame

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2025

Geoff and Marie's Good Life: Part 9Lucy's TurnGeoff finally gets more quality time with Lucy.Based on posts by Only In My Mind, in 15 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.I was bringing in the bedsheets from the washing line when my lovelies got home. Colin was inside doing his art homework alone as I'm afraid that art isn't my forté. From the way Angie bounced up the path like a tall, supple Tigger, I assumed that their mission had been successful. Marie followed behind at a more stately pace, but I could tell by her expression that she was pleased."Geoff! It's perfect," Angie enthused. "Show him, Marie!"Marie finally caught up with our friend. "She's not wrong, Geoffrey," she admitted. "The moment we saw it, we knew that was the one." She felt into her handbag and took out a small square box."Just like you and me then," I reminded her, kissing the top of her head."You'll get anywhere saying things like that, you smooth devil," my wife smiled as she showed me our purchase."So what happens now?" I asked. It appeared that they were in the dark too. Did we give her it now, like an engagement ring? Or wait until the ceremony, like a wedding ring?I decided. I took Angie's left hand and dropped to one knee. "Angela, you have added a new thread to the tapestry of our lives. Will you agree to be my betrothed?"Marie was quick to respond. She took her friend's hand from me and turned Angie towards her. "Angela, you have been my closest friend for decades, will you now be my betrothed?""Oh! God! Yes! Thank you. I love you both so much," wailed Angie, hopping up and down in floods of happy tears.Marie held out the ring they had chosen and bought together and together my wife and I slipped it onto the fourth finger of Angie's left hand. As I'd suggested, they had chosen something called a Russian Ring, made of three interwoven strands of different shades of gold. It was perfect. I resolved to get my little Mediterranean goddess a matching necklace.There was the sound of applause from behind us and we turned, rather startled, truth to be told, to find Colin beaming at us, the drawing in his hand forgotten."I think you're supposed to kiss her now, Grandma, Grandad," he observed. We couldn't fault his grasp of etiquette so we did; very chastely and properly with no tongues."Mum's gonna go proper monkey poo this time," he predicted, quite astutely. "Glad I'm not the one that has to tell her." He smiled, congratulated us all and then asked for our opinions of his drawing. We were all impressed, both by his artwork and his attitude and told him so. He disappeared happily back inside to put his drawing safely in his bag."He's not wrong about Linda," I pointed out. "I was thinking about this while I was running and I think I should take her out for tea tomorrow and tell her about our, er; does 'new situation' sound about right?""Thank God!" Marie breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't think she'd accept this updated version of 'the talk' from me. Anyway, I did the one about boys, boobs and periods, now it's your turn."I went and switched the oven on and chose a bottle of wine as I waited for it to reach 180°C. I'd picked up a bottle of Ribeiro in our local supermarket and a Spanish white seemed to fit nicely with the ingredients so I parked it in the fridge to chill.I got the tray with the onions, tomatoes, garlic cloves and potatoes and glugged over a little olive oil before putting it all in the oven for twenty minutes and then went off to see my girls. Angie had calmed down and they were trying to decide her outfit for our ceremony."What about Padme's rainbow dress?" I suggested. I'd had nothing urgent after lunch and had done some research. Angie gave me a long appraising look and typed 'padme rainbow' into the search engine on her phone. She selected 'images' and then studied the screen intently for longer than I expected. Still silent, she showed Marie the dress. "He's a clever old sod, really, isn't he?" My beloved observed. "That's beautiful, and it's perfect for your body shape."Angie agreed. "That's it. I was considering Rey's outfit but this is better. This is the one I want.""You can actually buy these on-line," I offered."Not a chance!" Retorted Angie. Marie looked as puzzled as me at how emphatic Angie's response was. "I'm sure that some are okay," Angie conceded. "But I've seen too many instances on Facebook where the seller shows an image of the original but what actually arrives looks like it was sewn in the dark from old curtains by an arthritic chimp. I want it to look just like that picture.""But at least you'll know how much it is going to cost, dear," Marie said. "Who knows how much your student friends will have to pay to find a fabric like that?""Don't care," Said a defiant Angie. "I can afford whatever I want and it's my money after all."Marie leaned in for a kiss. "We'll contribute too. We always intended to.""No. Thank you, but no." Angie was adamant. "You bought me that beautiful ring. I realize that it would be rude to offer to pay for that, but everything else; everything," she stressed that last word, "is on me."My wife and I shared another look of surprise at our friend's determined outburst. "But Ange," Marie began."Everything, Marie. You've been so kind to me for so long. And these last few weeks;” She teared up again. "You really don't know, do you?"I shrugged. We were into Donald Rumsfeld territory here with 'unknown unknowns' and I didn't think that this was the moment to dive down that particular rabbit hole."You know that apartment I live in?" Angie asked. We did. It was in a massive, tastefully converted, Victorian building near the university. "Don't you think it's rather large and expensive for just one person?" We both just did some head wobbles, shoulder shakes and comme ci, comme ça, hand gestures to indicate that we had wondered but."It's not that expensive," she continued, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Not for me, anyway. You see." She paused for effect. "I own the entire building. A lettings management company deals with renting the other apartments; I just live off the income. I only do the consultancy work for you know who," she tapped the side of her nose. "to stop me getting bored and my brain shutting down." She was winding me up because she knew I suspected that she was some kind of spook."Don't worry about the cost," she said cheerfully. "I can afford it. Last time I checked I had over two million pounds just in my savings accounts."She looked gleefully at the expressions on our faces. "And, once we're officially joined, I'm changing my will to leave it all to you and your kids. Colin certainly won't need a student loan when he goes to Uni.""Angie, darling. There's no need," Marie protested."Who else then?" Angie challenged her. "You two are the closest I've had to a family since I ditched that last useless waste of DNA. I've had more fun, romance, sex and affection from you two lunatics in the last six weeks than from both my husbands combined over two decades."Marie looked helplessly at me. I knew exactly what to do. I leaned forward. "Angie?" I said softly, taking her hand in mine."Yes, Geoff?" She replied, returning my loving gaze."Please can I have an Aston Martin DB12?"We collapsed in each other's arms in fits of giggles. Marie swiped me fondly across the head. "You nutcase. Get back in the kitchen and get our tea ready."I checked, and the potatoes were starting to cook, so I laid the chicken and chorizo slices on top, added the herbs and spices and put the tray back in the oven. "Alexa, set a timer for twenty minutes." Then I went off in search of Colin.I told him that I needed a private chat with his mum. "You think?" Was his smart-ass response. Sometimes he makes me so proud.Anyway, he texted one of his friends and persuaded her to wangle an invite to go over straight from school the following evening to do their homework together. Linda would collect him around seven."So Colin. Mia. Is she nice?""Yes Grandad. She's nice. No Grandad, she's not my girlfriend. We're only thirteen but we get on just fine as friends." Hell. The kid's more mature than half of the lads I used to play rugby with.We chatted some more until Alexa's alarm went off and I hit the kitchen again. Dropped the sliced peppers into the tray, a good mix up and back in for the last twenty minutes.I was starting to set the table when Marie and Angie came in to take over and chased me away to watch the news on TV. Angie had already taken her ring off and had decided to keep it in its box until they were with their friends. Then Marie intended to propose again in front of them all. It sounded lovely and I would have liked to see it, but I'd agreed that this was their moment.Linda arrived on time and about ten minutes later we sat down to eat. She'd called to collect a baguette on the way home as I'd asked and we used it to mop up the juices from our plates. The wine paired well; even Colin agreed, though he only got a sip of his mum's. Perhaps, when he's sixteen, Linda will let him have a glass with his meals.After we'd finished, the ladies declared that they would clear the table as I'd done all of the cooking. It had hardly been a chore but I wasn't about to argue. Instead, I went and asked Colin if he was okay with Aunty Angie being, well, betrothed to Grandma and Grandad.He thought carefully for a while. "Is anyone going to get hurt?"It was a reasonable question. "I hope not. But it's always possible. Even two people who love each other can eventually drift apart.""But you're all happy now?" He persisted. "You all want this?""Yes. All of us." I confirmed."What will I call her then?" He asked.That hadn't occurred to me. "Whatever you and Angie decide. That seems the fairest to me."His face lit up. "When you've told mum, I'm going to ask Aunty Angie if I can call her; Grangie." He announced triumphantly. There were still tears of laughter streaming down my face when the women joined us five minutes later. They all looked suspiciously at the pair of us."You had to be there," I told them, then we cracked up again.Before Linda and Colin left I told her that, as Colin had a homework date the following day, earning a glare from him, I'd treat her to a meal after work as we'd both be on our own. I suggested a Thai in town and we agreed to meet there at five fifteen. She looked warily at me, but I'd been practicing my innocent expression and gave nothing away. Certainly, nothing had been said that evening to suggest there was a problem.Angie saw them off with us and then said her own goodbyes. I copped a feel of her bum as we kissed, well, we're engaged now, or something. Marie must have shared my sentiment only she went for a tit. I slapped her hand gently. "Enough of that. She'll never get away if you start on her nipples." They both reluctantly agreed and then there was just the two of us again."Are we being silly, Geoff? Starting a new way of living? At our age? Is this just desperation?" It wasn't like Marie to second guess herself.I hugged her to me. "I don't think so. We have time, money and our health. The kids are okay so this is our opportunity to be us. Not teacher, boss, researcher, mum or dad; just us. If this is what makes both of us happy, why fight it? You promised, if we reach a place where you're uncomfortable, then you'll tell me. I promise you the same. So let's go and see what's out there.""Tell you what," she replied pulling me closer. "Get the rest of that wine and I'll sit on your lap and we'll finish it while we cuddle then, maybe, an early night?"I was up early next morning. We did make love the night before and it was slow, sensual and fulfilling. We'd both slept like babies.When I'd finished in the bathroom, Marie was looking at her phone. "That was a text from Peter. He and Jen are coming back from Canada on Monday and thought they might stop in to see us on the way back home." She looked worried. "Do we tell them? Or just Pete? But then how do we tell Pete without Jen hearing? Do we insist he keeps it a secret from her? ""We need to make a choice," I told her. "We're telling Linda because she deserves to know the unconventional relationship that Colin will see when Angie is here. Pete isn't in that position but, I think that if Linda knows then her brother should too. And I also think that, if Pete knows, it would be unfair to expect him to keep it from Jen. I'm not sure about discussing the rest of the girls with him; I'm tempted to tell Linda because she'll get suspicious if we're never free to look after Colin on Wednesdays if she wants to go out with Mike or if she has to work late."That's fair. I'll tell Pete that they are welcome to stay and we're looking forward to seeing them. But, Geoff?""Yes?""For pity's sake, will you move the toy box out of the playroom and make sure there's no lube or condoms left in the drawers?""I'll do it now."The rest of the day was quite mundane. Breakfast, grocery shopping, coffee at home and then a walk to the park. "I think I'm happy, Geoff," my wife announced as we strolled. "Not just content; actually happy. My friends have you in their lives, I'm even closer to them than ever and Angie," Marie's voice choked. "I've never seen her so alive. Thank you."I wasn't even tempted to be flippant. "Thank you too. It's strange, but making love to your friends seems to have brought me closer to you. I'm just so relieved you aren't jealous. You aren't are you?"She considered. "No. Truthfully; not at all. What about you?""No. Me neither. In fact, I know you have a bit of a thing for Sue, and it's, I dunno, sweet."She punched me playfully. "I still like Sam though," she admitted."So, now you have both, and me and Angie too."She gave a big happy sigh and we turned and made our way home.The weather was still fine so Marie set off at ten to four to walk to the Black Swan to meet her friends. I red for half an hour and then caught the bus into town. Linda could drop me back off at home on the way to collect Colin from Mia's house.I'd reserved a table and waited at the bar for Linda. She rushed in, all flustered, only two minutes late. "It's okay," I told her. "We're not running to a timetable here."Sorry, Dad," she apologized. "Isn't there always some clown who decides that half past four on a Friday afternoon is the perfect time to start making urgent phone calls?""Is it settled?" I asked her. "Or do you need ten minutes to make some more calls of your own?""God, no!" She laughed. "I'll start working for free after finishing time when my boss stops checking her watch when folk arrive in the morning with just minutes to spare."The waiter saw that my guest had arrived and invited us to follow him to our table. The place was quiet that early so he gave us a place with a nice view over the river."Is your job getting you down?" I asked. She worked in the distribution office for a large retailer."No, the work is fine, the people are great, it's just that our boss is so insecure in her abilities that she sticks rigidly to corporate policy, and it sometimes gets in the way of actual work.""Go on," I invited her. We didn't get to chat like this as much as I'd like."Okay. So: There are six people in our office; two men, four women. We lost both of the guys for a full day on Tuesday to go on a gender harassment awareness course. One's gay and the other is a fifty year old sweetheart. They could have done effectively the same course on-line in an hour but no, she had to make sure that her boss saw our guys in person to make her look good." She gave an exaggerated sigh. "Those lads get more grief from us girls than they'd ever; Oh! It's so frustrating.""I know," I sympathized. "I regarded part of my role as lab manager as insulating the people who actually generated income from stupid policies like that. I'd do what the law required but, if an adult technician doesn't know that it's not okay to touch a colleagues bum, no matter how cute or pert it is, a course isn't enough; a dismissal is much more effective. It solves the immediate issue and also serves 'pour encourager les autres' as your Great Gran would have said. An object lesson to the others," I said in reply to her unspoken question.We chatted in the same vein as we looked through the menu and had just finished our deliberations when our waiter appeared.We ordered spring rolls and prawn toast, I ordered a pork massaman, Linda chose a chicken panang and we decided to share a green papaya salad.

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Jack Tame: Reaching the point of physical limitations

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2025 4:55 Transcription Available

When you're young you can't imagine a point in your life when you're living with physical limitations. I mean, sure, maybe you're not as strong as you'd like to be. Maybe you're not quite as quick and fit as some of your mates. But for me at least, the thought of a relatively straightforward physical action being too difficult or too painful never even crossed my mind. You take health and dexterity, mobility, and general limberness for granted. I remember Dad getting home from his football games when I was kid. He'd limp through the front door, strap ice packs to both of knees, and splay himself out on the couch, still in his grubby kit. When you're a kid, you can see your dad's in pain, but you never pause to wonder if that might happen to you, one day, too. A couple of years ago I couldn't get past a sharp pain in my left hip. I thought I'd pulled a muscle, and I went to the physio for the first time in my life. But a series of scans moved me quickly up food chain. Physio-sports doctor-surgeon. One of the specialists said I had the hip of someone in their sixties, and it was probably only a matter of time before I'd have to get a new one. In the meantime, the best advice they could give me was don't do stuff that hurts. Truthfully, I've found that harder than it sounds. Although I haven't played a single game of squash in at least a couple of years, a weekly game of very average social football has been the most consistent social activity in my life. You know what they say about men and how they have to be doing stuff together? Well, guilty as charged. I don't want to just sit around and talk about stuff, I want to be kicking a ball! I'm convinced there's something about physically competing, albeit in a lowly social league, that does an awful lot of good for the top few inches. What it doesn't do is much good for my hip. I turn like a waning container ship at the best of times, but the short-twitch reactions required in midfield have not been aided by my swiftly decaying cartilage. I picture it, rotting away like a paper bag in a puddle. Halfway through last year I started proactively taking painkillers before games. Sometimes I struggle to walk normally for days afterwards. I know this isn't good. I know I shouldn't play. I know, rationally, that constantly agitating and inflaming the same injury is going to cause more problems down the track. And if sometime in the future I can't tramp or ride my bike, I'd be furious with myself. But quitting football has felt like a threshold. I've never had an injury that didn't improve. I've never not been able to play something. Then last week, I faced a reckoning. I visited a primary school, and the kids encouraged me to sit with them on the mat and pose for a photo. You know how these things go... Crossing your legs and sitting on the mat is the kind of thing you give zero notice to. Until one day you can't do it. It was agony. I folded myself down as best I could and yet in the photo, I don't even get halfway to the ground. My butt's on the ground but my knees are up at nipple height. I look like a capital X. When I finished at the school there was a text waiting. Who's in for football next season? Most of the guys quickly replied, ‘Yep, keen.' When you're young most of us don't imagine a point in life living with physical limitations. We didn't ask when Dad started wincing when he reached for his shoelaces. We didn't question why Grandma shuffles. And then one day it begins. You have to start saying no. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

movement dad reaching opinion grandma crossing limitations halfway physio truthfully jack tame

1137. Gabby Reece on How to Train Like a Strong Woman: Mentally, Physically, and Truthfully

Heal Squad x Maria Menounos

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2025 52:44

What does it really mean to be a strong woman?

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Dealing Truthfully

Fairhaven Baptist Church and College

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2025 52:21

Sunday Morning Service

truthfully sunday morning service

Prospect Capital feat. Hunter Noll | S25E38

Not Another Sox Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2025 83:15

The Red Sox have a lot of promising up-and-comers. What does it look like when a prospect transverses the gap to the major leagues? Hunter Noll has a lot to say about who we should be looking at in the coming years. This week in Red Sox baseball was lackluster. Crochet got knocked around for the first time in his Red Sox tenure. We lost a game to the Marlins in embarrassing fashion. Truthfully, don't we all wish the Red Sox could have done better than 3/6 this week. It is still a competitive team, and it will become a more competitive team in the years to come. At least, that is the consensus from our prospect eye-in-the-sky Hunter Noll. Linktree NASP Instagram NASP Twitter Ian's Twitter Jack's Twitter

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Asking for a Friend - Do Churches change the meaning of Scripture to fit what they want it to say?

Sermon Audio – Cross of Grace

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2025

John 1:1-4, 14-18In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people.And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father's only son, full of grace and truth. (John testified to him and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was before me.' ”) From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. It is the only Son, himself God, who is close to the Father's heart, who has made him known. We're in week three of this series: Asking for a Friend. Real Questions. Honest Faith. We gathered your questions and promised to answer them faithfully. This week: “Do churches or denominations change the meaning of the Bible to fit what they want it to say?”It's a timely question. Just this week, I saw too many stories and news clips about a pastor in Idaho saying things like: women shouldn't vote, “godly women are designed to make sandwiches,” and that Southern slave owners weren't sinning because their relationships with enslaved people were based on “mutual affection and confidence.” Doug Wilson, the pastor who said those awful things, believes they are gospel truth because he thinks he has Scripture to back it up.Like Titus 2:5 which says: young women should be “good managers of the household, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.” Or Ephesians 6:5: “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.”If we don't agree with him, he'd probably say we've changed the meaning of the Bible to fit what we want it to say. Anyone who believes there's only one correct meaning of a text would say the same. Disagree, and you're wrong. But here's the thing: there isn't just one correct meaning.For too long, we've treated the Bible like a locked box, hunting for the interpretive key to the writer's original intent. But words are more complicated than that. They carry layers of meaning, history and emotion. Most communication holds more than one meaning.So No, we don't change the meaning of the Bible—because there isn't just one. We interpret it. We ask: what does this mean for us here, now, in our lives? Sure, some twist Scripture for personal gain. Paula White, for instance, claimed John 11:44 meant people should give her $1,144 to receive a prayer cloth that could possibly bring them miracles. Others accuse us of twisting Scripture to justify our welcome of LGBTQ+ siblings, as a way of attracting more people. Truthfully, if that were our aim, we wouldn't offer such a bold, hospitable welcome. We are the only church in this county to do it—and we do it because the Word of God calls us to, not as a marketing ploy.If we are following the 8th commandment (of not bearing false witness) and interpreting our neighbors' actions in the best light, we'd say most people interpret Scripture in search of the Truth with a capital T. The real question we want answered is: whose interpretation is right? Whose is wrong? And why?Seminary students spend three years wrestling with this. Some pastors and theologians spend their whole lives. And you want me to answer it in 10 or 12 minutes? Sure.A small caveat, I am answering from a Lutheran perspective because it is what I know. That is not to say it's the most right, though I do think it's pretty useful. There are surely other ways to interpret Scripture that are insightful and faithful. But as Pastor Mark said last week, you asked me, sorta, so this is what you get. And so much more could be said, so this is not exhaustive by any means, but it's a start.As Lutherans, we can't talk about interpretation without first talking about what the Word of God is. And you might think, well it's just the Bible, that's the Word of God. Well not exactly. First and foremost, the Word of God is Jesus. John says, “The Word became flesh and lived among us.” It's not a book that became flesh—it's God in Christ. Jesus is the Word. What this means is that we see and understand God most through and because of Jesus.Second, the Word is proclaimed. After the Word became flesh, lived among us, died, and rose, the story could not be contained. People shared it, again and again—witnessing, preaching, proclaiming Christ. Through that proclamation, we encounter Jesus. We hope that's what happens here on Sundays…That you encounter Jesus through this preaching and that it confronts us, transforms us, and pushes out into the world holding onto the promises God makes to us. And then Third, the Word is the written Word—the Bible—because and insofar as it points us to Jesus. The whole Bible, as one story, reveals Christ. Some parts though point more clearly: the gospels, Jesus' teachings, his death and resurrection, and for Luther, the book of Romans. These show most vividly what Christ's life and death mean for us. Other passages, like Titus 2:5 urging women to be submissive, reflect cultural norms more than the gospel's promise of oneness and equality, proclaimed most boldly in Galatians 3:28. How can we say this? Jesus lifted up the role of women. He taught unity, servitude, placing others before ourselves—but never that women must submit. These messages echo far more deeply than cultural instructions ever could.But someone might ask, how can one Scripture matter more than another if all Scripture is inspired by God, as that passage from 2 Timothy says plainly: “All scripture is inspired by God”? I'm not disagreeing with that. But Scripture points us to Jesus. We don't worship the Bible. We worship Christ. Sometimes I fear we get that confused. The Bible is a tool, a means by which the Holy Spirit shows us God's love revealed in Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. And when we see that, it changes us. It transforms us. It shapes how we live. What matters most in interpreting Scripture isn't only what it means. Yes, understanding the original intent matters. But what matters most isn't just what the Bible means, but what the Bible does. The Word of God does something to you, to us. When we hear it, when we read it together, when we listen to it proclaimed, the Holy Spirit is at work through that Word. After all it is a living and active Word, not just ink on a page. it calls us, moves us, and shapes us, so much so that we live differently because of it.Take for example that passage from Exodus: You shall not wrong or oppress a resident alien. If you are an immigrant or refugee, that word is certainly good news because it shows how God longs for their care and well-being in every time and place. It must give comfort and hope to the desperate migrants in search of safety for themselves and their families. But it also confronts those who see no problem with the rhetoric and policies that harm them. And it should move those of us—like me—who have done nothing, who have simply shaken our heads and said, “How terrible,” without stepping forward to help our immigrant siblings. The Word meets us here, calling us to act, to love, to bear witness to God's justice.You've heard it said that people can make the Bible say whatever they want it to say. And that's true. But I am more interested in what the Bible, what the Word of God makes one do. So if the meaning you find in the text doesn't make you afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted, if it doesn't widen the bounds of your love, if it doesn't encourage unity, or extend forgiveness, or move you toward repentance, and offer grace with no strings attached, then find a different, more Christ like meaning. Because the way we interpret scripture is by reading all of it through the lens of Jesus Christ, through whom we all have received grace upon grace. And that's the gospel truth. Amen.

Fake Fire

god jesus christ lord fake his word holy ghost truthfully

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 64:37

What does the Lord want you to let go of?Truthfully, most of us have built monuments in our lives to people or things other than God.If our desire is to live obedient to Christ and His Word, we must surrender everything we have to Him.The cost for an anointed, Holy Ghost led life is high. Our pain can be turned to purpose, and suffering to salvation; but only when it's given unto the Lord.Examine your heart today, are you living a lifestyle rife with self sufficiently, ego, pride, lust, and so on? What is in your heart that you may not want to let go of, but you know you need to give up?Don't delay, not even another day, set everything aside for the sake of Christ, and step in to the kind of life that can be found only in Him!!!!!!

Fake Fire

god jesus christ lord fake his word holy ghost truthfully

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 64:37

What does the Lord want you to let go of?Truthfully, most of us have built monuments in our lives to people or things other than God.If our desire is to live obedient to Christ and His Word, we must surrender everything we have to Him.The cost for an anointed, Holy Ghost led life is high. Our pain can be turned to purpose, and suffering to salvation; but only when it's given unto the Lord.Examine your heart today, are you living a lifestyle rife with self sufficiently, ego, pride, lust, and so on? What is in your heart that you may not want to let go of, but you know you need to give up?Don't delay, not even another day, set everything aside for the sake of Christ, and step in to the kind of life that can be found only in Him!!!!!!

Fire Ain't Free

god jesus christ lord his word holy ghost truthfully

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2025 52:40

What does the Lord want you to let go of?Truthfully, most of us have built monuments in our lives to people or things other than God.If our desire is to live obedient to Christ and His Word, we must surrender everything we have to Him.The cost for an anointed, Holy Ghost led life is high. Our pain can be turned to purpose, and suffering to salvation; but only when it's given unto the Lord.Examine your heart today, are you living a lifestyle rife with self sufficiently, ego, pride, lust, and so on? What is in your heart that you may not want to let go of, but you know you need to give up?Don't delay, not even another day, set everything aside for the sake of Christ, and step in to the kind of life that can be found only in Him!!!!!!

Fire Ain't Free

god jesus christ lord his word holy ghost truthfully

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2025 52:40

What does the Lord want you to let go of?Truthfully, most of us have built monuments in our lives to people or things other than God.If our desire is to live obedient to Christ and His Word, we must surrender everything we have to Him.The cost for an anointed, Holy Ghost led life is high. Our pain can be turned to purpose, and suffering to salvation; but only when it's given unto the Lord.Examine your heart today, are you living a lifestyle rife with self sufficiently, ego, pride, lust, and so on? What is in your heart that you may not want to let go of, but you know you need to give up?Don't delay, not even another day, set everything aside for the sake of Christ, and step in to the kind of life that can be found only in Him!!!!!!

The 5-Step APPLE Framework That Quadrupled Customer Retention | George Bryant

The eCommerce Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2025 50:03 Transcription Available

Ready to transform your customer retention from 3.5 months to 15 months with just five emails?In this tactical deep dive, George Bryant returns to share the exact frameworks he has used to scale companies from $1 million per month to $2 million per day. We explore the three critical mistakes that can kill your customer journey (dubbed the "Triangle of Poop" by George's 8-year-old), and unveil the APPLE communication framework that has revolutionised how businesses build relationships at scale. Whether you're selling supplements, software, or socks, these proven strategies will help you plug the leaks in your business and create customers for life.The Zone of Doubt: When Customers Fall Into Black HolesThe first mistake in the Triangle of Poop is creating what George calls "zones of doubt"- those moments when customers are emotionally invested but encounter a communication black hole.If you've ever put your email address in for a lead magnet on the internet... you get to your inbox and it's not there. What feeling pops up? You get upset. Now do you think you're going to have a seamless experience or be as excited to consume that lead magnet?Common black holes include:Lead magnets that never arriveOrder confirmations that don't acknowledge what was purchasedDMs promising links that arrive days laterPost-purchase emails pushing unrelated productsThe impact? Immediate erosion of trust. As George explains, humans create unspoken contracts with each other - when you break these, you break the relationship before it even begins.The Ego Journey and Why "I" Language Kills ConversionsThe second critical mistake is falling into the ego trap—focusing on your story instead of the customer's transformation.George's brilliant example contrasts two approaches to a skincare welcome email:The Ego Version: "Hey Jane, thank you so much for buying our product. My name is George. I've spent the last 14 years of my life scouring the jungles of Costa Rica..."The Customer-Focused Version:Hey Jane, how does it feel to have healthier skin, and we haven't even shipped your product yet? Truthfully, our commitment to you is to help you glow from the inside out, even if you don't use our product...The difference? One makes it about the founder's journey; the other makes it about the customer's transformation. Remember: customers don't care about your story until they've rewritten theirs.The Fire Hose: Death by Information OverloadThe third mistake is overwhelming customers with too much information at once, which George refers to as the "fire hose effect."Using the parent-child morning routine as an analogy, George illustrates why micro-commitments work better than information dumps:If my son wakes up tomorrow morning at 5 am, and I say, 'Hey bro, we have to leave at 7:30. I need you to brush your hair, brush your teeth, pack your backpack, eat your breakfast, make your bed, check your homework, and meet me at the car...' What are my chances of success? Zero.Instead, successful customer journeys break down the process:Give bite-sized tasksBuild confidence with each stepCreate buy-in through progressionCelebrate small wins along the wayThe APPLE Framework: Your Blueprint for 10x RetentionGeorge's APPLE framework transformed a supplement company from $75 LTV to $744 LTV using just five emails:A - Acknowledge: Close the emotional loop and confirm they made the right choiceP - Prepare: Set clear expectations and reduce uncertaintyP - Project: Paint the vision of their future...

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7.2.25

wild vikings joke frost venue oklahoma city thunder nfl preseason truthfully tarasenko

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2025 43:25

White Claw Zero, Wild & Frost new Venue name, Tommie Town, Minny Weekend Bets, Vikings 1 more offseason move, UNRL, NAW Traded, OKC Thunder a Joke, Truthfully, Wild trade for Tarasenko, NFL Preseason around the corner & more!!!

Double Standards, Surveillance, and the Ongoing Struggle for Empowerment

Hebrew Israelite Biblical News

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2025 4:26

The hypocrisy of being watch listed while the obvious history of systematic oppression being waged against black people. Well documented acts of violence, sabotage, entrapment by Intelligence agencies like the FBI, CIA and other shadowy groups that have usurped authority over black progress and self-autonomy. Truthfully, we remind them on their own injustices towards other human beings, instead of deep-rooted reflection and change. Their defense mechanism is to label us everything they are. This is the spirit of slander which spiritually is of a dark force that operate within a institution that thrives off of mistreatment, mockery and false accusations. As we strive for righteousness our good works are often ignored while lies, defamation is labeled as truth. This channel despite heavy censorship and me personally being attacked both socially, financially our GOD and POWER have allowed millions of people to hear that platform. Even as they used trickery to create stumbling blocks it's a solid body of work online to teach, edify, and educate those who seek repentance, salvation all while finding out our true history and identity meant to be lost in time. But the truth stands and faith shall wax strong despite opposition.

god power fbi empowerment cia intelligence surveillance double standards truthfully ongoing struggle

Sakura Whispers: A Heartfelt Farewell Under Blooming Lanterns

Fluent Fiction - Japanese

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2025 14:46

Fluent Fiction - Japanese: Sakura Whispers: A Heartfelt Farewell Under Blooming Lanterns Find the full episode transcript, vocabulary words, and more:fluentfiction.com/ja/episode/2025-06-17-22-34-02-ja Story Transcript:Ja: 夕暮れの公園に、ほんのり明かりが灯るランタン。En: In the evening park, lanterns gently illuminated the surroundings.Ja: さくらの花びらが穏やかな風に揺れ、地面をピンク色に染めていた。En: The sakura petals swayed in the gentle breeze, painting the ground pink.Ja: この日は、郊外の公園で行われているさくら祭りの最終日だった。En: This was the final day of the sakura festival held in the suburban park.Ja: アサヒは、公園の中央にある大きなさくらの木の下で立ち止まった。En: Asahi stopped beneath the big sakura tree at the center of the park.Ja: 彼の胸は鼓動を早め、これから話すべき言葉が頭の中を駆け巡っていた。En: His heart began to beat faster as the words he needed to say raced through his mind.Ja: ハルカが遠くに見えた。En: He saw Haruka in the distance.Ja: 彼女は長い旅に出る前にこの美しい景色を忘れないようにと、熱心に写真を撮っていた。En: She was eagerly taking photos so she wouldn't forget this beautiful scene before she embarked on her long journey.Ja: アサヒは静かにハルカに近づき、「ハルカ、少し話してもいい？」と声をかけた。En: Asahi quietly approached Haruka and called out, "Haruka, can we talk for a moment?"Ja: 彼女は振り向き、「もちろん！」と笑顔で応えた。En: She turned around and responded with a smile, "Of course!"Ja: アサヒはさくらの花びらを見上げてから、勇気を振り絞り、En: Asahi looked up at the sakura petals and mustered his courage.Ja: 「ハルカ、君が海外で仕事をする前に、一つ伝えたいことがあるんだ」と言った。En: "Haruka, before you go overseas for work, there's something I want to tell you," he said.Ja: ハルカはその言葉に少し驚き、「何？」と優しく尋ねた。En: Haruka was a bit surprised by his words and gently asked, "What is it?"Ja: 「君のことが好きだ。ずっと前から…ずっと伝えたかった」とアサヒは告白した。緊張で手が震えるのを感じながら。En: "I like you. I've wanted to tell you for a long time," Asahi confessed, feeling his hands tremble with nerves.Ja: ハルカは少し黙って、アサヒの目を見つめた。En: Haruka paused for a moment and then looked into Asahi's eyes.Ja: 「アサヒ…ありがとう。実は、私も君のことがずっと好きだった。En: "Asahi... thank you. Truthfully, I've liked you for a long time too.Ja: でも、今は夢を追いかけるために行かなきゃならないの」と優しく答えた。En: But now, I have to go chase my dreams," she replied gently.Ja: アサヒは理解した。彼はどんな結果も覚悟していた。En: Asahi understood. He was prepared for any outcome.Ja: 「分かってる。でも、君に伝えたかった。正直になりたかったんだ。En: "I understand. But I wanted to tell you. I wanted to be honest.Ja: これからも連絡を取り合おうよ」と提案した。En: Let's keep in touch," he suggested.Ja: ハルカは静かに頷き、「もちろん。En: Haruka nodded quietly, "Of course.Ja: 未来は分からないけど、いつかまた会えるかもしれない」と微笑んだ。En: We don't know what the future holds, but maybe one day we'll meet again," she smiled.Ja: その後、二人はさくらの花が舞う中でしばらく無言で一緒に立っていた。お互いに新しい未来への旅立ちを感じながら。En: After that, the two stood together in silence for a while amidst the dancing sakura petals, both feeling their departure towards a new future.Ja: アサヒは心に平和を感じた。En: Asahi felt a sense of peace in his heart.Ja: 彼は自分の気持ちを表現したことで、再び心が軽くなったことに気づいた。En: He realized that by expressing his feelings, his heart felt lighter again.Ja: そして、二人がどんな未来に進もうとも、彼の気持ちは変わらないと知っていた。En: And he knew that no matter what future lay ahead, his feelings wouldn't change.Ja: 公園は次第に薄暗くなり、ランタンの柔らかい光が二人のシルエットを浮かび上がらせた。En: The park gradually grew dim, and the soft light of the lanterns highlighted their silhouettes.Ja: いつかまた巡り合う日を信じて、二人はそれぞれの道を歩み始めた。En: Believing in the day they would meet again, the two began to walk their separate paths. Vocabulary Words:lantern: ランタンilluminated: 灯るswayed: 揺れpetals: 花びらsuburban: 郊外eagerly: 熱心にembarked: 旅に出るapproached: 近づきmustered: 振り絞りcourage: 勇気tremble: 震えるpaused: 黙るdepartures: 旅立ちsilhouettes: シルエットgradually: 次第にdim: 薄暗くなるfate: 運命chase: 追いかけるfuture: 未来scene: 景色truthfully: 実はsuggested: 提案したhonest: 正直flutter: 舞うbelieving: 信じてoutcome: 結果whisper: ささやくbreeze: 風realized: 気づいたembraced: 抱きしめた

japanese farewell whispers heartfelt blooming truthfully sakura lanterns asahi haruka vocabulary words

Saturday, June 14, 2025 - Medic!

Jean & Mike Do The New York Times Crossword

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2025 17:51

This was yet another highly challenging NYTimes crossword, but, since it was a Saturday, we were not surprised in the least. [Truthfully, we thought that maybe Will would give us a break after yesterday's mental marathon, but nooooo...

new york times drop medics gee truthfully haw

Here’s the Story: “Truthfully Honest”

Student Affairs NOW

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2025 28:51

In these times, being honestly truthful reinforces listening, hearing and holding students. Dr. Palmer shares the necessary value of understanding the difference between honesty and truth.

honest truthfully

TCB Is All Choked Up!

The Commercial Break

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2025 71:06

EP771# Bryan get's an anonymous email about mental health and TCB's Endless Day. Like a baby, he cries when the email borders on sentimental. Truthfully, it's a beautiful ode to "The Little Podcast That Couldn't". Plus, PodDaddy Marc Maron is leaving the business and much respect is owed and given by B&K. Then, Bryan gracefully bows out of the Shakira concert experience I favor of marriage points. TCBit: Jizzy Jazz Jeff's Male Review & Waxing (From EP#114) Watch EP #771 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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E95 - There's Nothing Wrong With You

Winning the Divine Lottery

Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2025 19:59

In this episode, I pull back the curtain and share something honest:I don't know where this podcast is going.I've thought about quitting.I've thought about moving to YouTube.I've thought about going solo and ditching the guest format altogether.I'm in a transition — and rather than resisting it, I'm finally letting it be what it is.I know something is being birthed through me, and I can feel the aliveness in that.Truthfully, I feel like I am winning the divine lottery.Not in the sense that I'm chasing it…In the sense that I already have it.It's here. I am it.From there, I dive into something else that's been stirring in me —This silent apology so many of us women carry around for our bodies.We apologize for the parts of us that take up space.We feel the need to explain, shrink, or justify how we look or what we feel.I talk about how I've had so many invisible symptoms, chronic pains that no one can see —And how that's shaped my compassion for others living with invisible struggles.We've been conditioned to search for what's wrong with us.But what if…There's nothing wrong with you?That's the message of this episode.A reclamation.A remembering.A return to enough-ness — as you are.

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5.28.25

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Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2025 44:13

Spring Grove Soda, Tommie Football Promo Schedule, WNBA Drama, Minny Weekend Bets, Wolves bounced in WCF, UNRL, Stanley Cup preview, Wolves offseason plans, Truthfully, NBA Finals preview & more!!!

What's Up With The Podcast?

The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2025 15:30

In this quick episode, I share what has been going on with the podcast and why I haven't been uploading. The truth is, that I am taking a step back from the show. I explain why and what comes next. Part of the episode is me reading off a post that I wrote, which you can read below. ------ I think it's time to let go of my podcast. Episode 1 of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast aired on 3/16/2016. Nearly 450 episodes later, I think it might be time to let it go. When I began the show, podcasting wasn't cool. This was before Huberman Lab and Diary of a CEO. This is before every influencer had their own podcast. I certainly wasn't one of the first podcasts, but I was in the cohort of podcasters that were influenced by Pat Flynn, Cliff Ravenscraft, and Daniel J. Lewis. Podcasts were the up and coming way to generate an audience and scale your craft. For me, this was a way to bring mental health content to the masses. In 2014, I released my first book, Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety. I wrote this during my pre-doctoral internship at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego. The book was written and published in a matter of a couple weeks, driven by my frustrations with the mental health field following my wife's hospitalization (more about that in my TedX talk). Since the market was not yet saturated with potty-mouth self-help books, it was a hit and quickly became my primary source of income. With the popularity of the book came emails and direct messages asking me questions. As someone who was working toward becoming licensed as a psychologist, it was important that I didn't give out direct advice to people in a private forum unless I had an established care relationship with the person. That's when I realized I could make my childhood dreams of having a newspaper advice column come true by starting a podcast. Truthfully, this was not my first foray into podcasting. I tried to start a podcast about the 90s with my friends called The Good Old Days, but that failed to launch. Then I had a podcast that ran for a good while called The Voices Among Us, in which I interviewed unhoused people on the street about their lives. Those experiences meant that I had the tools and knowledge necessary to launch the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. And man, has it been great. I have had the opportunity to answer questions about anxiety, relationships, sexuality, school, neuroscience, medications, abusive families, PTSD, depression, bipolar, autism, mushrooms, ketamine, queerness, blackness, multiculturalism, gender identity and so much more. I've been able have great conversations with Seth Godin, Dr. Andrea Letamendi, Kati Morton, Gary Bishop, Dr. Anna Yusim, Tiffany Jenkins, Jenn Harris, Dr. Patrick McGrath, Tony Weaver Jr., Dr. Judy Ho, Dr. David Burns, and many others. And yet, as the years of the podcast march on, the interest is waning. I will always have pride for being something of an O.G. in the mental health podcasting space, but as my wife said recently, it's important to make room for other voices and to not force something that isn't working. I wouldn't say the podcast isn't working, but it certainly isn't what it once was. At one point in time, I was getting enough listens to garner thousands per month in advertising revenue. These days, I'm lucky if an episode hits 5,000 listens in a month. To be clear, that is still a substantial amount, but for the hours that I put into the podcast, the decline in listenership over time becomes hard to justify at a certain point. Here's a graph from my podcast hosting platform so you can see what I mean: I worry a bit about coming off as ungrateful or just chasing numbers. Hopefully it's clear that I am immensely proud of what I've been able to do with the podcast and so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have a platform like this. I have a folder in my email with feedback from people that I have answered questions for, and trust me when I say there is no better pick-me-up on a rainy day than reading through some of them. However, ultimately, I need to figure out the best path forward for myself, for my career, and for my family. Unfortunately, a lot of that comes down to income right now. I need to make more money. While I get many benefits from continuing the podcast, it is no longer lucrative, and it takes up a great deal of time and mental space to maintain. As someone who always has my hands in many pies, I need to take a step back every so often to re-evaluate my priorities. To weigh the pros and cons of each facet of my career and life and determine where I should be increasing or decreasing my focus. Between my clinical work as a neuropsychologist and therapist, podcasting, writing books, giving professional talks, and being a presence for my family and loved ones, there isn't an obvious answer. But there is one that I am begrudgingly starting to admit to myself. I haven't even made an actual change yet, and I am already starting the grieving process. This project has been so incredibly important to me and central to my life. It's like letting go of a child. In fact, as I'm writing this, my 10-year-old just came in and told me that he doesn't want me to quit. Sigh… these choices are never easy. I should know – once upon a time, I wasn't known as Duff The Psych, I was known as the ASMRtist, Justawhisperingguy. And just like there are some OGs out there who have stuck around since my first ASMR videos, there will be OGs who are still with me a decade from now that started following me from my first podcast episodes. So, all of this begs the question: What now? I don't think I am going to be cutting off the podcast cold turkey. For one, I don't have any interest in getting rid of the entire back catalogue, so I'm not going to suddenly stop paying for my podcast host. I also may occasionally come back to post something on the podcast feed if I record an interview or have the bug to make some content. My Youtube channel will continue to be the primary platform where I release longform content. But it's time to take a big step back. It's time to find another avenue to continue building and engaging with my audience. It's time to put some effort into marketing my next book. It's time to stop stressing out because the kids are taking a long time to go to sleep or are being too loud so I can't record. It's time to take a deep breath and step off into the next stage of my life and career. Whatever the hell that may turn out to be. Love, Robert

Looking Forward to the Second Act

Crosswalk.com Devotional

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2025 6:24

Instead of asking, “Am I past my prime?” we should be asking:“Am I living this stage of life with purpose and perspective?” Ecclesiastes invites us to live in light of eternity—not to despair over what we’ve lost, but to rejoice in how much time we still have to glorify God. Whether your “second act” looks like a new calling, a slower pace, or mentoring others—you’re still in the story God is writing. Think of Sarah, Paul, Noah—some of their most meaningful work happened later in life. “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.” – Ecclesiastes 12:13 That’s your calling, whether you’re 18 or 80. Join the Conversation:We want to hear from you! How are you embracing your current season of life? Have you discovered a new purpose in your “second act”? Leave a comment on today’s episode, or share your story on Instagram using #Lifeaudionetwork. Let’s encourage one another to live well—no matter what chapter we’re in. Full Transcript Below: Looking Forward to the Second Act By: Laura Bailey “Anyone who is among the living has hope —even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!” Ecclesiastes 9:4 NIV Turning my head from side to side, lifting my eyebrows, and pulling back the skin around my chin, I wondered if it was time for me to start an anti-aging routine. I turn 40 in six months, and truthfully, until a few weeks ago, the approaching descent into middle age didn’t bother me. Most of my friends are in their forties and fifties, and their lives seem to be thriving; they didn’t take going over the hill as their life was over. Instead, it was almost as if they started living. Most were experiencing the perks of older children or an empty nest, reaping the benefits of a successful career, or embracing a slower pace where they could finally stop and smell the roses. And yet, I couldn’t shake the persistent accusing voice that dominated my thoughts, “the best years are behind you.” We live in a society that elevates youth over maturity, but God’s word says the opposite. Proverbs 16:1 tells us that gray hair is a crown of glory, and Job 12:12 shows that more trips around the sun bring more profound knowledge and rich experiences to our lives. Scripture tells us to honor our elders, to respect them, and to glean wisdom from their lifetime of lessons. The “second act” of our lives can be even better than the first half, especially if we live with the proper perspective. The book of Ecclesiastes invites readers to experience the benefits of a life in light of eternity. One of the book's central themes is the reality of our mortality, which shouldn’t drive us to despair but encourage us to ask, “Am I using my time on earth well?” What does it mean to live life well? Solomon, Ecclesiastes's author, tells us in verse 12:13, “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.” God created humanity with a purpose to glorify Him and make Him known. As the author of our lives, God divinely appoints the days, when we will be born and depart from this earth. Every stage, season, decade, or year serves a purpose, as Ecclesiastes 9:4 tells us that while we have breath in our lungs, we have hope! Not only that, but our lives have a purpose, no matter how many candles are on the cake. We don’t have to fight the signs of aging, cling to the memories of yesterday, or long for youth. Instead, we can embrace God’s plan and purpose for a new life stage. Perhaps, like Sarah, in our second act, the Lord grants a request we’ve been praying about for decades ( Genesis 21:1-7). Maybe God will call us to a completely different career path, project, or passion, like Paul ( Acts 9). Or, potentially, God will make room for you to rest, shedding the weight of the responsibilities of your younger years and having time to invest in the next generation before you go to glory like Noah ( Genesis 6-9). I don’t know what the Lord has planned for me next. Truthfully, my life is not what my 18-year-old self would have envisioned for my forties. But it is beautiful, and I am assured that it will be infinitely better than I had planned because of God’s providence. I am learning that God is more interested in my heart’s posture than my productivity. This allows me freedom and grace to age well, knowing that I am fulfilling my purpose as long as I bring God glory and honor. And well, that looks different in different seasons of life. I pray that as the years tick by, I grow in spiritual maturity and biblical wisdom and that my life always looks more like Christ today than it did yesterday. The best is yet to come, if not in this life; those of us in Christ have the promise of eternity. The end of earthly existence is not the end but only the beginning. May we use the time the Lord grants us well, making the most of every season as we live in light of eternity. Intersecting Faith and Life: A friend once encouraged me to stop asking, “What does God want me to do?” and instead think, “Who does God want me to serve?” This season, take some time to consider your current circumstances. Who can you serve, show God’s love, or pray over? For Further Reading: Hope if You Aren’t Living Your Best Life Now The Aging Process: Life is Seasonal Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

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5.14.25

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 40:32

Spring Grove Soda, UST Arena Coming Along, NFL/Vikes Schedule Release, UNRL, Wolves to 2nd straight WCF, Minny Weekend Bets, Top NHL Teams facing elimination, Putt Shack, Wolves, Truthfully & more!!!

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Haunt Weekly - Episode 486 - 7 Reasons the 2025 Looks Great

Haunt Weekly

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 49:42 Transcription Available

Send us a textThis week on Haunt Weekly, we're looking on the bright side of life and finding seven reasons that the 2025 haunt season may be amazing.Truthfully, this was a tough episode to write. However, there is some genuinely good news and some ways haunts could be an in-demand experience this fall.This Week's Episode Includes: 1. Intro2. Question of the Week3. Conference Reminders 4. 7 Reasons the 2025 Haunt Season is Looking Great5. ConclusionsAll in all, this is one episode you do NOT want to miss!NPR Article: https://www.npr.org/2025/05/13/nx-s1-5395866/us-china-tariffs-trade-dealGet in Touch and Follow Us!Facebook: @HauntWeeklyTwitter: @HauntWeeklyYouTube: @HauntWeeklyEmail: info@hauntweekly.com

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My Beautiful Savior

Joni and Friends Radio

Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 4:00

Send Us Your Prayer Requests --------Thank you for listening! Your support of Joni and Friends helps make this show possible. Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Become part of the global movement today at www.joniandfriends.org. Find more encouragement on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube.

4.30.25