Pod and Tears

In which our intrepid band of heroes... Well. There's no way to put this one lightly. We failed entirely to talk about our main topic. Some of us forgot how to use a microphone. Everyone pooped themselves. It was a bit of a disaster. But like, a good and fun sort of disaster.

This week our band of weary travelers find themselves assaulted with six months of darkness, so they do the only logical thing they can think of. Wake up Gimlik at 3am to record the podcast!

In which our heroes take a good hard look in the mirror, and ask themselves questions. HOST BECOMES GUEST. THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US! Bob & Gooner joined in, because they like making dick jokes too. Onannia ate a lot of poisoned cherries, but not like Snow White poison, more like 80's hair metal Poison.

In which our heroes reband, and are asked -- do you want to take the red pill, or the Bluemaxx pill? The red pill was said to be placebo, but the blue one would give ALL THE RIGHT ENHANCEMENTS. So please excuse the weird boners during this episode.

In which Jim was abandoned by BOTH Onannia and Shaggrath -- but luckily was able to call in special guest Co-Hosts SeriousJest and MoreShots for an amazing battle of wits with a sleep deprived and liquored up Goblin King! He tells exploits of sex (Tshirts), Love (Goblins) and Rock and Roll (Kylver) -- don't miss this one!

In which our triumphant triad suffer without fearless knight Shaggrath -- indisposed due to holidays, but filled in for admirably by SeriousJest! The trio fly forehead-first into a just utterly catastrophic wall of crazy words like "furries" and "forehead job" and "fuzzy holes" all thanks to the straight to dvd version of Bill and Ted -- Bob and Gooner.

Our merry band of adventurers have caught a nasty case of burnout! Luckily for them, RJCarrot is on the case, and willing to educate them on the finer points of saying "fuck this entirely". Special thanks to Mrs Shaggrath, who's vivacious wit and cutting sarcasm added a surprise element of joy to this episode!

In which our intrepid band of heroes tumble down an unexpected loose foothold, and find themselves staring down the boot of Fuckin' Grooby himself -- and the Legend that is Proudstarr. These fouls remove no players, but fouls from the heart are the hardest fouls :(

In a sordid twist of fate, our weary travelers stumble upon a BMFjiggs who imparts on them wisdom about one of the most irritating topics in all of Blood Bowl. One die blocks: How and when to be that dick. The trio tries to recover from the loss of Onannia's Authority segment in Ep15 to the swamp of sorrows, but if the kid in the Neverending story got fucked -- Onannia never had a chance.

In which our heroes drink. A LOT. With SeriousJest AND MoreShots. Like, a LOT A LOT. I think we talked about player levelling, doubles & stat ups? And brilliant Halloween costumes. And about drinking. Definitely about drinking.

In which our intrepid heroes buy a pack of BnT CCG cards and unwrap a LEGENDARY FOIL HAWCA! After last week, the lack of a shimmering veiny monster clearly ADDS to the value of this card, though a foil cock card may actually be interestin... I'm getting off topic. Hawca teaches us how to build a plan for your turn, talks a bit out World Cup, and skillfully dodges the question about what his plan would be if he were going to take over the world. Because, obviously, he can't us that and expect to still DO it.

Sir Shaggrath had to depart to save a town from the tribulations of being annoying dice-whiners, so winner of our LOGO CONTEST(!) Fleekyfly is my co-host. We grill TonyW about many things, but I'm not gonna sugar coat it, there is a lot of dick talked about in this episode. We can all blame Rand for that.

Our weary travelers stumbled upon a REBBL camp, where they found a fearless leader to impart much great wisdom upon them. Like, "if you ever get a chance, eat a kangaroo". Many thanks to Metal and the REBBL community for crossing the great platform divide to hang out!

In which our heroes find out that their account is overdrawn due to spiraling expenses. Banker Beerz is there to provide brilliant insight, infectious giggles, and a hell of a good time. The Authority weighs in, spreading horrible lies about goblins, and secures us a sponsor(?!?!)

In which our merry triad of wanderers stumble upon the ancient tablet of Momo, which readeth "Thou shalt not be confused as to who to blitzeth even when the plan is not cleareth". Our heroes disregard it entirely, and instead, spend an inordinate amount of time talking about pro wrestling.

In which our merry band of adventurers are accosted by a large bear -- which is promptly wrestled down by COLE! He cooks it, served with gravy and Yorkshire Pudding, before lamenting the travelers with tales of linemen!

In which our heroes trudge through whatever that swamp from the Neverending story was where the horse died. Fuck, that was sad. I definitely cried then. I might still cry now. Anyways, they stumbled upon a freshly levelled up staff named Dio. Long, thin, and ginger -- looking oddly like a carrot. It carried a great power of GiveNoFuck, however, and taught us how to not be salty bitches.

In which our heroes are joined by THE AUTHORITY, who promptly grosses them out with concepts of sweaty meat sandwiches that only a dragon would eat. We talk about the intangibles, while not wanting to touch any part of that disgusting ass word. Flesh bed. Yuck.

In which our heroes stumble upon a talking Fox, the sort of Fox in flip flops. They discuss changing it up, from being a lifelong agility coach trying something new. They discuss fouling, norse mankinis, why chaos sucks -- and the fox just pees the entire time, not even breaking eye contact.

In which our heroes hear a strange noise under the bed, and upon investigating -- find a Midway Monster! He fires back at Samt, gives us his take on the "pile on problem", and explains how lizardmen have tiny little British wieners.

In which our heroes meet the sage wizard SeriousJest, and lose a battle of wits almost instantly. Discussion revolves around Champion Ladder play for players of all levels. Onannia chips in with his first reoccurring segment. And Jim dies of not meth.

In which our heroes battle their toughest foe yet: The Head Honcho, Samt! Discussion covers the agility side of things, there's a bit of "Ask Me Anything" with Sir Sam, and the musical guest, Sass Dragons.

In which our intrepid heroes welcome new player LukeStewart to the Pod, and promptly pile on him as we explore tips for new players. There is a shocking lack of British dick in this episode. Musical Guest: Prizzy Prizzy Please

In which our heroes say hello (awkwardly). Then rip into an explanation of what this podcast will be about! Special musical guest: Rad Payoff. Please also contact Dio or Gerdleah if interested in the upcoming Tabletop event!

In which our heroes stumble upon the wise Onannia, and discuss defensive positioning! Special musical guest Kyvler -- check them out on spotify, youtube, and hop in discord to tell Yudlugar how much his band kicks ass!