Things That Will Burn In Hell with Phoenix West

This was written in response to episode 99 as a means to say that who gives a shit what I have to say anyway? I'm just some asshole on the internet without a valid opinion. Yay, America! liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

I don't hate America. Don't be stupid. I hate you taking the flag and song as sacred items that ARE America. The places. The people. The things we strive for. That's America. Sacred Be Americana is sarcasm. I hate that I have to write this because idiots online can't use common sense. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

You're an adult. Grow the fuck up. Scooby Don't isn't coming to save you. Common sense is. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Do not read this episode description while driving. If you do then you should die. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Expose yourself to me quicker. Stop hiding or I'll change your roads forever. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Take care of your body of lies. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

I took a nap seven years ago and I'm still feasting on brains. Black-tar brains. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

It's like the regular mile-high club except you aren't having sex. But you are getting fucked. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

This episode offers solid advice that LIW Studios cannot be held responsible for if you consider of follow through with. Obviously. Don't be a fucking idiot. But you already are because you had kids you don't want. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

I can't believe I got to paper cone cups before I got to this stupid shit. Or as it says on your arm, "wisdom." liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Grab those ankles for McDonald's advertising! You'll be lovin' it. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Imagine a world where you could get your characters out of any situation by the mere flick of your wrist and pen. Welcome to the world of fantasy. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Bring on the vanilla and genocide. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

How about you watch yourself play the best solo game of Russian roulette? liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

We're no longer "let's get it on"-ing. Now we're "suck this till all the cream is gone"-ing. Do you like sex? Aren't you special? Better start writing songs about that unique pastime of yours. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

All hail the whitest of trash! liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Don't kill yourself over this episode. Seriously. If you do, keep me out of the note. But don't even do it. The suicide part. DO the keepign me out of the note part. But not suicide yourself. Is the message getting lost here? Just remember to do and do not things in this description. You'll figure out the order later. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

I know. I don't know how I can complain about this topic either but I forced a way. I mean found. I found a way to force it. Wait... Shit. Fuck it and fuck jackets. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Phoenix West: The Sexual Fire State. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Freddy Kruger + The Crow - everything about those characters that makes them awesome = Edward Scissorhands. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/Loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/loiteringinwonderlandstudios

Go on, tuck that dirty shirt into your jeans. You'll look like you walked out of a Mad Men episode. Your dick will never dry. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

This is probably the longest skit on the show. It gets really creepy but that's what happens when YOU BREAK UP WITH ME BETHANY!!! RIP Emily. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Andy Warhol does not equal art. Twisted Metal is a video game and is not art. But the video game is art. It gets confusing. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

Vaginaccident. Clitowreck. Mini-Vulvan-Collision. Pull Ovaries and give the motormenstralcycles some womb to drive! And so on. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Cars go vrooom in a circle. Repeat. Repeat the same shitty mistakes. Your life is a shitty full-circle joke. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

This is an interesting episode. It caused a Siri time loop that I still haven't escaped from. Look to LIW+ to see the behind the scenes footage. Homeless Doo and his gang of fuck-ups was apparently a famous cartoon. www.liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderlandstudios We'd like to thank our non-animated hero: The Indy Sportscar Podcast

Stop it. Yes, it's cute. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, your animals hate you for it. Stop it. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Sad with your shitty life? Pretend to be someone famous... who was also sad with their life. Continue the sad-cycle. Keep peddling! www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland We'd like to thank our non-celebrity hero: The Indy Sportscar Podcast

I'm pretty sure Will Smith somehow appeared in the background of one of these episodes and he was showering. He just loves it. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Pocast

If you're here to fuck around then tune out. This episode is only for those that are serious about their fitness and nutrition regiments. Fast food is a bullet and you're loading your own fat, face gun. You make me sick. Go get health and fitness advice at: https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

I say no thank you to boring war on the sky. Just... no thank you. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

How can a people make such delicious sushi when they are so into used panties? Not just into them but they need vending machines for them for when they are on the go and are used panty-less. It's that big of a necessity that they have to be able to access them at any given moment. Anyway, some of their food is terrifying. Enjoy this if you can. It's used panty-less just like a culture should be. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

TMZzzzzzzzzzzzz. This was an angry episode. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland We'd like to thank our non-celebrity hero: The Indy Sportscar Podcast

Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/Loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/loiteringinwonderlandstudios

Write-recycle-repeat-write-recycle-repeatmakesPhoenixadullreader..... https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Space...the boring frontier. These are the rantings of a star movie hating lunatic. Or they're okay. Either way. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/Loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/loiteringinwonderlandstudios

This episode just happens to land exacly one week after the real Christmas and it's driving me insane that if I started this series a week earlier it would have been the official Christmas episode. Fuck it though. I mean... yeah, fuck it. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

If your mouth is stapled to the inside of your goddamn mouth and you don't have lips then deaf people can't lip read you. I call bullshit. The only thing they teach on this street is how to skip school to hang out with trash monsters and cookie junkies. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Steven Seagal ruined it for everyone. EVERYONE. Blame him for my aggression. Also, stop putting rappers in your films unless the film is about rapping. Because obviously. www.LIWstudios.com Patreon.com/Loiteringinwonderlandstudios

Don't you dare think of another web-based comedy series when you're watching this you cheating asshole! https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Like a mobile Chuck-E-Cheese ball pit. If you're trying to replicate the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man you're doing a swell job. www.LIWstudios.com Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland Loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios We'd like to thank our Spandex-free Patron: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

I like pink. Pink likes me. But nobody likes to listen to Pink. Even Pink hates Pink but loves pink. Pink's pink is barely pink even when decorated in pink. I don't know anymore. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Thank you to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Podcast

Stay the fuck off us. I'm not here to be your enjoyment. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Thank you to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Podcast

Must lose weight before this fast food poetry series makes me a fool. Yet again, a sexual poem about fast food served up with extra pickles (1) in only the way Things That Will Burn In Hell can. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Back again for more hot bumper sticker talk. Not sure why I didn't just make this all one chapter in the book but that's 2006 Phoenix for you. I can't explain that guy. I still hate bumper stickers though. Some things never change. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Part 1 of 2 on those sticky bastards made to advertise your shitty beliefs on your car bumper. This is the exact place to post your opinions to gain respect. Just makes sense. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Ten simple rules for fixing this sport. "But it's perfect the way it is." Just use your imagination and you'll see you're wrong. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

This episode started off as a rant about not being able to say the phrase 'god dammit' but ended up being a rageful rant about my goddamn phone and its nonstop goddamn ringing and beeping while I was trying to record. What you are about to watch is real. The people in it are real. The names have not been changed to protect the goddamn innocent. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

Can we just stop doing this? Just say nothing instead. It's better than the weather or your stupid fucking kids that nobody likes. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com We'd like to thank our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportscar Podcast

We already covered limp handshakes so now let's discuss the eleveated aerial vertical near-handshakes. AKA high-fives. Also I talk about Pauly Shore but it's all in good fun. It's because I hate fun. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

I feel like M. Night's career is one big performance like Andy Kauffman. Only nobody is laughing. Except his bank account. Either way, fuck all but 2 of his movies. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com