Welcome to the Two Clueless D*ckheads podcast, where you'll hear the story of two distinctly average FPL managers try to navigate their way through this strangest of fantasy football seasons. Along the way you'll be treated to exclusive interviews with some of the biggest names from our group of mates, each of whom range between distinctly average and criminally negligent FPL managers in their own right. If you enjoy poor audio quality and unedited ramblings, this might just be the podcast you've been waiting for. As ever, big shoutout to our sponsors.
Worth listening to the end of this one for an absolute gem of a differential.
As the title would suggest this is a bit of a weary one. Recorded pre Nunez breakdown as well. All 2CD League prizes are outlined in this pod so get it in your ear holes. (A few regrettable comments in this one for which the pod takes full responsibility and apoligises for.)
The winners are announced. The cash is paid. Enjoy the Champerooneys and get your tenners back in for the new season.
Happy New Year to one and all. After a turbulent period of FPL we are back with tips and suggestions from two gaffers who have frankly been cut adrift from the top of the table. So get it in your ear holes and watch yourself slip down that mini league.
Second guest of the season! It's only big Jon Vicery coming on with a score to settle after he was called out on last weeks episode. It's all great content so get it in your ear holes would you.
An actual episode with an actual format (kind of) with an actual guest (granted a returning guest). Released on time and everything. Get it in your ear holes.
This is a week late so will make little sense. Still, get it in your ear holes would you.
Another quick one today as we just can't get our shit together. Wildcard activated so let the points flow. Once again, our deepest apologies to Adam Morris. Nevertheless, get it in your earholes.
As we prepare to go and watch the big man Gerry Cinnamon, we discuss Wylie's wildcard and Maupay's heroics with a lot of complete drivel in between. Even by our standards this one's a big old mess, but still get it in ya earholes.
Just a short one today, mainly because Wylie was hanging out of his arse. Quick chat about the week just gone and upcoming transfers. I think the main event came from the battle for Archie Bond's bedroom. Get it in your earholes.
We have our first guest of the new season, our first emailer of the new season and our first quiz of the new season. We also have our first ever clinic where we try and give advice to a man that's been dominating the both of us for the first four gameweeks. Get it in your earholes would you.
It's been a manic start to the season on and off the pitch for Premier League clubs and amateur podcasters alike. We discuss the errors that have been made in the season so far and who should be looked at going forward. The GOAT is back so get him in your team and this in your earholes.
I've had a few pints so I'm gonna keep this short. Message Wylie, send him a tenner and get stuck into our mini league. We're back baybeeeeee
11 episodes in and we are ready to report a HUGE moment for the pod. We have officially received our very first fan email. Shoutout Big John and I hope you manage to climb the leaderboard following our expert advice. Also shoutout to Wylie for preparing some outstanding differentials for you listeners, make sure you get stuck in.
An episode where we get largely sidetracked by the only story in town right now when Wylie comes out as an advocate for the European Super League. Would you beleieve it? In the FPL world he's moaning about 'copying' again. Pathetic.
After a short pause in proceedings, we are back in business with more horror takes than ever before. Wylie's dropped his wildcard and is expecting big things (has been very much let down so far) and is banging on about fixtures an embarrassing amount. I'd say it's better than this description makes it sound but we all know that's probably not the case. Still, worth a look I reckon.
The races are on so this is gonna be a pretty short description. Stand by for a brief Archie Bond cameo where he proves yet again why he's the dumbest bloke this side of Chipping Sodbury. Shoutout to Zoom for the improved audio quality.
A momentus gameweek is concluded and there's a new King in town. Fellow centurian for the week Laurie Cleevely joins us as Wylie spends the full 39 minutes moaning about his pitiful performance. Ewan Wright Wright Wright is rattled and very much chasing the game. Big shoutout to Sherin (who definitely lives with Wylie) for her cameo performance. We'll sign off with an evergreen quote from the episode: 'I don't think we've done this podcast well' Joseph Stephen Wylie.
Bit of a shambolic one this week as we discuss all the fall out from the biggest DGW in FPL history (and for the first five minutes why Liverpool are so shite). Big boy Bond joins us for a cracking little cameo as he reveals his long term strategy for the season and it quickly becomes clear why he's languishing in the middle of the table. If you're one of the few listeners that actually makes it to the end of our podcasts then Wylie's got a belter of a differential pick for you too. As ever, f*** off Pep and f*** off Ewan.
No dicking about with guests this week; the biggest double gameweek in FPL history is upon us and the Two Clueless Dickheads are all business. Both have played their bench boost and are banking on big returns to see them close the gap at the top of the table. More accusations of copying are made as the most shameless man in England (Joseph Stephen Wylie) takes inspiration from Kai's ingenious wildcard picks. In FPL terms this is simply as big as it gets. Let's f*****g go.
In an episode where Wylie's feeling pretty smug about his team's GW24 performance, we welcome Alex Campbell to the show to talk through his sub-par FPL season and the integrity he has shown that's led him there. We also hear a childish rant from one of the hosts as he claims to have discovered Burnley stalwart Matthew Lowton. Finish the bleeding episodes as well you bunch of wronguns.
In the build up to gameweek 24 we welcome podcasting veteran Dan Gadsden onto the show as he talks us through his recent charge up the league table. We also review a frankly bullshit gameweek in which one of the hosts was robbed by the rule makers at FPL towers and Mike Dean (don't slag him off). A certain Evertonian also picks up a few mentions throughout.
If ever an episode needed a bit of editing it was this one. Apologies for the various technical difficulties but we powered through and discussed another tumultuous gameweek in which He Who Must Not Be Named incresed his lead over the both us. We also chatted to our very first international guest; as everyone's best mate Louis Tovell joined us from Switzerland to discuss his FPL apathy and his recent wildcard usage. Also Wylie gets the name of the podcast wrong again and no one knows if he's joking at this point. Moron.
After being betrayed by the likes of Pep Guardiola and Thomas Tuchel we discussed how both of our teams managed to somewhat recover from those setbacks. Also an absolute thrill to welcome our first special guest to the show; as one Archie Bond joined us to talk through his pretty disastrous gameweek and some of the calamitous decisions he's made throughout the season.
In this opening episode we discuss our FPL season so far, the (many) mistakes we've made, the current situation in our mini league and our plans for our teams going forward. It's an absolute shambles, I'd like to say we'll improve but you'd have to say there's a good chance we don't.
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