After becoming widowed, are you wondering why you are feeling the way you do (or not feeling!)? As a widow and as a widow coach, I want to share my story and insights for other widows to feel that connection and know they are not alone.
Joann Filomena, Life Coach School Certified Life Coach, Widow Coach, and Weight Loss Coach
Welcome widows to episode 156. A new year has always been a fresh start to me - but not after the death of my husband. That New Year, I was still in shock and did not expect to see that year coming in without Jim. Yes, the new year can become one of those milestones that tug at the heart, just like their birthday, wedding anniversary, and day of their passing. But you CAN learn how to turn this new year into a new start again. You can check out my website: https://joannthelifecoach.com My subscription membership for widows: https://widowcoachingcenter.com or email me at: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com
Today, I'm sharing all that I've learned over the years of widowhood about becoming widowed and those first months. We have also opened the doors to our subscription membership program today (Dec 2020) - so go check it out! Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Subscription Program: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
First off - The Widow Coaching Center subscription membership program is open until 9 p.m. EST on Sept. 24, 2020. So if you've been waiting to take that leap, go check it out at https://widowcoachingcenter.com Today's episode is a fantastic opportunity to Jamie's story first hand as she went through widowhood and started on that long journey back to self. What Jamie shares is so very valuable. Jamie went from the trauma to building a new life. Email me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com
This week I had two excellent examples of the struggle we have at times as widows when we are making a decision or even wanting something more in our life, but feel a little guilty about that. Have you ever thought about doing something or buying something and it felt a bit extravagant, so you shyed away from it? Today I'm sharing a couple of stories that you just might identify with . . . . . . how it is when we are wanting permission. Find me at https://joannthelifecoach.com Email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com
This episode was inspired by a member in Widows Empowering Widows on Facebook who had both a wedding anniversary coming up, quickly followed by the first anniversary of her husband's death. She had been keeping herself very busy since he passed. But now feels like she cannot keep herself busy enough to distract herself from the pain of these upcoming dates. What happens when busy works for a while, but then you can't be busy enough? Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com
Widows, don't run away! "Get on your death bed" will make total sense if you join me in listening to this episode. It is the practice that I think everyone should apply to constantly stay motivated in their life. It is what some very very successful people practice to keep focused on what's important. More about widow coaching: https://joannthelifecoach.com Subscription membership: https://widowcoachingcenter.com Email me: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com
Have you ever encountered another widow who was left "better off" than you were? How did you feel about that? What do you think when you read another widow who is thriving in life after her loss? Are you envious? A little jealous? I saw this come up in my free Facebook Group: Widows Empowering Widows. Today I want to share how jealously can actually rob you of what you desire! It holds you back. Want to know how to process that feeling and come out the other side? Listen in! Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com
How anticipation, good or bad, can affect your physiology and well being. If you are widowed, be sure to check out my books on Amazon and find me on Facebook. Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com/ Book links: https://joannthelifecoach.com/books/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Widow...
Today's Widow Cast podcast was recorded live while broadcasting on video to my free Facebook group: Widows Empowering Widows. In our group, conversations had come up around the feeling that the relationship with their spouse who had passed on was gone and no more. On the contrary, relationships are all about how we think about the other person. Because those relationships are part of who we are, they can live on even as we move through the grief process. Find out how on today's episode. You can reach out to me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Check out the subscription membership at https://widowcoachingcenter.com
What are you thinking as a widow? About you? About your loss? About your life? About your money? About all your external relationships? Our thoughts often are all over the place. Sometimes our brain is telling us thoughts that make us feel awful or fearful. I think many thoughts are "thought errors." You are not at the mercy of every thought your brain fires at you! Learn more in this podcast about what "thought errors" are how to deal with them. email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Website: http://joannthelifecoach.com
Widows - Do you see too many social media posts that are like a kick in your soul? They are depressing - make your sadness heavier. It is one of the reasons I took on opening a Facebook Group page called Widows Empowering Widows - I wanted to share a message that was UPLIFTING. You CAN begin to turn that sadness into a life that brings you joy. I want to share with you quotes from the writings of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. email me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Website: http://joannthelifecoach.com
Ever wonder how on earth to not feel so sad? One of the widows in the Widow Coaching Center membership posed this question. Listen in to hear more about feeling so sad. email: Joann@Joannthelifecoach.com Website: http://joannthelifecoach.com
When your spouse passed away, did you wonder, "How long will the money last until I run out?" Did you struggle with money issues even as you were consumed with grief? For most of us, we think we are going to become a bag lady. I speak very openly from a place of complete authenticity to share how I felt and the fact that you CAN be okay. There are ways you can build your own support. email: Joann@Joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Widow Coaching Center: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Lately, I've been asked this question a lot: "Do you still have good days and bad days?" The answer is yes, of course. But it is not as black and white as that answer may seem. So listen in to how I feel after nearly 5 years, with some self examination and a lot of coaching! email: Joann@Joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://Joannthelifecoach.com
Are you widowed and beginning to feel anxious about the upcoming holidays? I'm beginning to see posts about this in our Facebook Group, Widows Empowering Widows, so wanted to share a few thoughts about this. Listen in for how to face the holidays, some great ideas and suggestions, but even more importantly - how it is that you are upping the ante on your anxiety. email: Joann@Joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Membership: https://widowdoachingcenter.com
Are you finding it difficult to finish tasks or get anything accomplished since your spouse died? It is possible to commit to doing something and follow through on it. Here is a short boost to help you tackle that ONE thing this month! Email me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Subscription membership: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Have you ever read about "self-care" and think you need to scheduled the beauty spa? Or maybe it felt like you have to be completely selfish about your time - taking care of you at the expense of everyone else around you. A fellow professional life coach shared a post that beautifully defined what self-care means to her. It is with Corinne Crabtree's permission that I am sharing her post with you. You might be very surprised at what self-care can be. Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Subscription membership: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Have you ever wanted to just go out to a new restaurant, but the thought of going there alone as "party of 1" is daunting? How do you tackle doing things alone? This subject came up more than ever after I sold my house in New York, drove to Texas and bought a new place here. I was constantly being asked, "How did you move and drive across country alone?" Today I help you understand why this feels scary and how to overcome that fear. Email me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Check out the membership! Subscription membership: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
How do you change how you see yourself? There is an entire before and after process to being able to see yourself differently. But first, you need to decide how it is you WANT to see yourself! Today I share the process of being able to shift into a new view of YOU. Step into new shoes of new you Take a chance on YOU New habit stacks Letting go of old you email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Subscription membership: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
So many widows have told me their biggest need right now is to feel financially secure. Your spouses passes on, any income they were contributing to the household stops, but your bills don't. Let me see if I can help demystify all the fear and drama around money. As a widow who has worked long and hard on my own money beliefs and found my way to being able to stand on my own two feet financially, I want to share with you what can hold you back from doing the same. Email me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Check out the subscription membership at https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Widows - Is your attitude sad, depressed, angry? Today I share how my attitude almost got the better of me - yes, even after all these years of being a life coach! Here's the difference your attitude can make and the fundamental steps to being able to shift your attitude into something that feels amazing. Reach out to me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com If you are interested in becoming a certified widow coach, the next class begins soon! Reach out to me! Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com
When widows are told, "Hey, you just need to move on," we find it very offensive. It feels like we are being pushed to let go of our marriage, our spouse, and all those memories. But asking widows what they need, many have told me they need to know how to move forward. There's a distinctinction. It is not leaving behind our grief and our spouse. It is finding the ability to being to live our life again. I share with you why that key "moving forward" is so hard for us, and how you can begin to take steps out of that stuck rut. Reach out to me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Check out the subscription community at https://widowcoachingcenter.com
When I asked widows what the #1 thing was they want to change in their life, it was overwhelmingly "Confidence." It happens to us and frankly, really took me by surprise that this was part of my grief. Widows often feel scared to get out and do things, or just feel totally lost. This episode covers how to rebuild that lost confidence. You'll learn how to begin taking action again in your life. I can be reached at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com To check out the online subscription membership community, go to https://widowcoachingcenter.com
In the beginning, as widows, we may find comfort in thinking we can do what our spouse would want for us. They would not want us to live a sad, lonely life. But there came a time that I realized what I really needed was to do exactly what *I* wanted for my life. I wanted to be striving for living an extraordinary life! I realized that for all of us, it can be daunting to even figure out what we are passionate about and what we do want. So I searched through articles for ideas and insights, and then added my special sauce to it all to help you figure out what it is that YOU WANT. You can reach me in email at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Get on the wait list for subscription membership online at https://widowcoachingcenter.com My website: https://joannthelifecoach.com
Do you think moving somewhere else would make you happier? Maybe it will, but maybe it won't . The truth is this: You need to be able to be happy right where you are before you can happier elsewhere. Whaaatttt? It is true! Today I share my long journey to selling my house and moving. A big part of that journey was finding all the emotions I wanted to feel right where I was. Learn more about exploring your emotional life at https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Does this sound like you? “I used to LOVE cooking for him.” “I don't have a passion for it anymore...and I'm not sure when I ever will again..” “It’s not fun cooking or baking for yourself." Now, more than ever, it is so important to feed yourself well and look after yourself. So let's get empowered about feeding ourselves! Special thanks to the widows who follow me on Facebook in "Widows Empowering Widows" for bringing up this topic and contributing to the ideas shared on this episode. You can reach me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Check out our subscription membership at: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Did you know that everything we do, how we act and show up in the world, and even everything we avoid doing is because of how we are feeling emotionally? Our emotions drive our actions and our life. When you know and understand this, you can even begin to choose the emotions you want to create the life you are wanting. You can choose a result you want in your life and then find the emotion that supports it. Learn more on the podcast. https://joannthelifecoach.com Email me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com
Probably the most devastating - or what my clients would describe as the most devastating thing about being widowed is loneliness. I know a lot of you take loneliness very seriously, you think it's a very big problem. It really does not have to be, so that's what we're going to talk about today. You can reach me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Check out the subscription membership at https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Why are your beliefs so very important to explore? Because your current set of beliefs are playing thoughts in your mind that absolutely manifest the exact life you are living. I teach the coaching model and the truth is, whether you actually know and understand the model or not, you have models playing out in your life constantly. The only difference is they are playing by default instead of you being consciously aware of those models and choosing what you want to belief and create in your world. Listen to learn more about how your beliefs play out in your feelings and your actions to create the life you are living. website: https://joannthelifecoach.com email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com
Encore presentation - As a widow do you wonder how to make your life better now that you are on your own? As you have been moving through this journey of grief, have you felt like something has to change - somehow this has to get better? On today's episode, I share with you how to make your life better. If you are interested in learning to life coach, go to http://widowcoaches.com or even better, I can be reached at joann@joannthelifecoach.com
Sometimes I listen to the "Bob and Sheri Show" on radio and find them delightful. Today I share their "Cone of Safety" and what that means in terms of helping another widow. Yes, DO reach out, widow to widow. Today I will tell you the best way to help her. email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Membership site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Widows - have you been finding BIG questions coming up in your mind? The kind of questions we rare ask in the normal hustle bustle of life. But nothing is "normal" anymore for us. After Jim suddenly died and as the weeks began to pass, I started asking the BIG questions. Who am I now? What is the meaning of all this? Why did Jim die when he did? Why am I still here and he’s not? What am I doing here? What’s my purpose? What’s the *MEANING* of all this? Is there really a God with a design and a master plan? The answers did not come all at once. But slowly I was able to start unraveling the answers. It started with toilet paper and a box of jigsaw puzzles. No kidding. You can email me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Join the subscription site at https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Here’s the thing. No one is coming to save you. Not your friends. Not your family. Not even your kids. There comes a time in the process of the exquisite grief that follows losing your life partner when you have to stand up and start putting one foot in front of the other. You have to save yourself. SAVE YOURSELF. Listen today to see where you begin, and how important this is! Subscription membership to get started: https://widowcoachingcenter.com Email me: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com
Widows are experiencing traumatic loss, but that does not necessarily mean you are in psychosis and need help to not be in misery. But it does mean that we could use some help in boosting our happiness levels. There are many ways for normal population who are not in need of a psychologist to boost their happiness levels. This afternoon I share a couple of intriguing examples you can apply in your own life and increase your levels of happiness! Email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Subscription site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Newly widowed and feeling like you've gone insane? No, you're not insane - you're in a state of shock. Listen in today as I share with you some of my own experiences in the early days after becoming widowed and one very important fact . . . . . . you get a pass. A widow pass. I promise. Reach out to me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Subscription site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
Deepak Chopra said, "The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years." He is close to the truth, but the absolute truth is that the way you think, the way you behave and the way you eat can influence how you FEEL about life right NOW. Those extra years are just a bonus. As a widow, we need what can help us rebuild who we are and our life. Email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Subscription site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
As a widow, are you suddenly faced with financial issues and overwhelming fears about your security? What is the one thing that will factor into whether you're going to be okay financially without your spouse or not? It is your beliefs about money and what it is to be widowed. There are underlying beliefs that you probably picked up as a kid and then never questioned that can absolutely hold you back in terms of money. Here's how to discovered what your beliefs are and just how some very basic and common money beliefs will limit your ability to support yourself. Want to learn more on your journey through grief? Go check out https://widowcoachingcenter.com email me at Joann@joannthelifecoach.com
Grief and the fear of letting go can paralyze you. When do you go through their things - HOW do you let go? It feels like betrayal somehow. It feels like we are letting go of THEM. Listen today as Joann shares how to let of things without letting go of our loved ones. Membership site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com Email: Joann@Joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com
Widows tell me, "I don't even know who I am now!" It was one of the most surprising things to me after my husband suddenly died. I felt like I had always been a strong personality, quite independent and strong willed. But after that sudden loss, it was like I was a new baby wandering in the wilderness. Not only do we lose our beloved life partner, we also lose our sense of self. You are not alone and it does not have to become a permanent condition. Membership Website: https://widowcoachingcenter.com Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com
The very word "widow" brings so much emotion for each of us. Do you recall the first time you had to check a box next to "widowed?" I've noticed what other widows are saying about what the word widow means to them. Let's explore how widows and even society at large defines what it means to be a widow, and then let's talk about how we can redefine that word and make it our own. Let's reinvent that word even as we begin to reinvent ourselves and our lives after loss. Widow Coaching Center: https://widowcoachingcenter.com Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com
Are you ignoring the pain of loss, pushing it down, telling yourself “I’m okay, I got this?” This is a definite trend in widowhood. We think we can just tie on our red cape and push forward. But all that bottled up emotional pain is going to push right back in ways you cannot even imagine. Continuing on even in the best of circumstances is not necessarily the same as thriving on life. Start by learning the difference in how you look at what you are feeling. Reach out in email to Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: http://joannthelifecoach.com
I teach the thought model to all my clients and especially in detail to my widow coaching students. This is the most powerful tool I've ever learned to create the life I want. My students tell me over and over again how life changing these concepts are to learn. In this episode I share five tips for self coaching that correspond to the coaching model. It is a way to share these concepts in a new light. I hope you learn at least one new thing from this podcast today! Go deeper with this kind of work by joining the membership at https://widowcoachingcenter.com If you are considering widow coaching as a direction for your life, go learn more at https://widowcoaches.com As always, you can reach out to me in email at Joann@joannthelifecoach.com
Let's talk about stuck in the in-between, what that means and how to move out of the in-between into your next chapter as a widow. I think the in-between feels like being in the "upside down" like the kids on Stranger Things. On this episode I outline a couple of steps in self-coaching and what that means for writing the next chapter of your life. Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Membership: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
As a widow, we are confronted with mind-boggling lists about what to do, what not to do, and what we need. Death certificates, bank accounts, bills, insurance papers. You are in shock, you are in a fog, or even if it has been years, these lists just make your stomach sick or makes you want to hide under covers. But what about the lists that will really help you get through the fog. The lists that can help you begin to rebuild the pieces of your life. That's what I want to talk about today. Reach out to me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Check out https://widowcoachingcenter.com
WIDOWS AND MONEY DRAMA. Many widows are suffering from the beliefs we were raised with about money; but they don't even feel like beliefs - it just feels like "not enough." Today's episode explains how money can be easier, without all the drama. Money for nothing and the drama is free . . . . Check out the membership site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com It's INcredible!!! Email me at Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com .
Widows, when people ask, "How are you?" do you tighten up? How about when another widow posts, "Welcome to the club no one wants to belong to" or that "no one chooses?" We all have triggers. Our grief as a widow is going to take us there. I totally get it because I get triggered too. Let's take a closer look at what is going on within us and how we can identify what makes us feel like that. Would you like to know how to absolutely feel better about it without choking the next person who says it? Join me as I explain how we can choose how we want to feel. It can be life changing, grief changing, even leading you to your best life. Check out https://widowcoachingcenter.com You can email me at Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Find me on Facebook in our group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/WIDOWEDbookclub/
As widows, we all experience different levels of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of doing things on our own, fear of having enough, fear of not being "okay." When do you feel fearful? Have there been things you might like to do, but the fear keeps you inside a bubble of comfort? Today, I want to talk to you about how you can feel fear - even SHOULD feel fear; and still go after the life you want to create. Check out the new membership at https://widowcoachingcenter.com email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com .
Widows experience the deep discomfort of grief, but there is another kind of emotional discomfort that you should welcome into your life - the discomfort of experiencing personal growth. We can allow and yes, even welcome a little emotional discomfort when we know the pay off is going to be exhilarating. Jump in to listen and learn more! Email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Get on my list at http://widowcoaches.com
Life coaching is such a new industry, but I think it is one of the most critically important new industries to arise in our culture. Because it is still a new industry, there are many questions around it. I looked it up in general - why should someone work with a coach (I know why I think so, but I wanted to see what is the word on the street). There was an excellent article listing ten reasons to work with a life coach. This article was not directed specifically to widows, but astonishingly every single one of the ten points listed apply to widows. Not one of the reasons you should hire a life coach. Not a couple of the reasons. ALL the reasons. Listen in and see if you agree. I feel working with a life coach for a new perspective on your life is critical for everyone in our world. email: Joann@JoannTheLifeCoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Membership site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com .
Put your brain to work FOR you!! You can take your thinking and brainstorming to the next level, just by asking your brain great questions. Let's head into the new year deciding what it is we want more of in our life for next year and putting our brain to work on 10 great ideas to make those things a reality in your life. Email me at joann@joannthelifecoach.com Website: https://joannthelifecoach.com Membership Site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
What does B- work have to do with being widowed? This may not mean at all what you think it might! Sometimes B- work is exactly what you need to be doing. Email: Joann@joannthelifecoach.com Membership Site: https://widowcoachingcenter.com
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