Don't Quote Me

Grab your weights, roll out a mat, and try not to break a sweat while the dumb dudes work out an at-home quarantine exercise routine. If you have a topic for the show, find us on social media @DQMPodcast and let us know!

Trigger Warning: This episode contains mushy descriptions of love. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks to Jon Pernisek for the topic! Send us your topics on social media @DQMPodcast! And don't forget to like and subscribe on all your favorite platforms!

Bust out your Nintendos, blow on those cartridges and get ready to smack the console as the dumb dudes try to level up with video games! Thanks to Matt Garcia for the suggestion! If you have a topic for the show, find us on social media @DQMPodcast and let us know!

This week, the dumb dudes need more cowbell as they investigate the utterly shady underbelly of Big Dairy. Thanks to Keith Stone for this week's topic suggestion! If you have a topic for us, send it our way on social media @DQMPodcast!

How do the dumb dudes escape the world of quarantine—stuck in a room, time ticking away, wondering if they'll make out it ok? They discuss escape rooms, of course! Thanks to Nick Oswald for the topic suggestion! Have an idea for an upcoming podcast? Drop us a line on social media @DQMPodcast! We have nothing but time...

"Live" from Chicago, it's Quarantine! Starring: The Dumb Dudes! Join Ethan & Todd as they discuss their new daily routines and the not-so-great quarantines of the past! If you're craving more content to numb the pain of being quarantined, please enjoy our other content on social media @DQMPodcast and wherever you get your podcasts!

Our reality has become pretty bleak, so what better way to pass the time than listening to the dumb dudes dump on reality tv?! We love you, Jabronies, so please, share the love with your friends! Find us on social media @DQMPodcast and wherever you get your podcasts. Stay safe and wash your hands!

The dumb dudes go on an expedition in search of Bigfoot, Chupacabra, and the Loch Ness Monster, but they end up finding...each other. Would you like the dumb dudes to find the answers to your mysteriously elusive questions? Find us on social media @DQMPodcast and let us know! And don't forget to like, subscribe and leave a review on all your favorite platforms!

Rumor has it the dumb dudes are back at it, spreading the real truth...as they see it. It's a new year, so why not start fresh by giving us a five-star review or following us @DQMPodcast on all your favorite social media platforms!

The dumb dudes recount various experiences with past and present roommates and start to wonder if they are actually terrible roommates. Be sure to look for us @DQMPodcast on social media and don't forget to like, subscribe & review on all your favorite platforms!

What's funnier than goats screaming like humans, Billy Corgan on a rollercoaster, and hockey-playing dachshunds? Trying to explain viral videos in an audio format! Tune in to see just how much humor the dumb dudes can suck out of the internet. Damn, Daniel, like what you've heard? Give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and follow us @DQMPodcast for all the latest "viral" content.

The dumb dudes set out to explore the great outdoors while writing their memoirs: "Latrines Along The Way" and "Cooking In The Woods...Quietly Weeping". Thanks to Adrienne for the topic suggestion! As always, send your topics to us @DQMPodcast on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. And don't forget to review us on Apple Podcasts!

In this (nearly) lost episode, the dumb dudes try to break down 3D printing, but instead break down themselves...and their recording software. Special thanks to Mr. Hong for the topic suggestion — maybe next time we'll get to do a full episode! If you'd like your topic discussed at length, hit us up @DQMPodcast on social media! And don't forget to like, subscribe, rate & review!

The dumb dudes embark on a fantastical journey of wits and chance, battling gridiron goblins as they strive to become the ultimate dungeon masters...of sports. Be sure to look for us @DQMPodcast on social media and don't forget to like, subscribe & review on all your favorite platforms!

Fire up the smoker and slather on the sauce as the dumb dudes try to slow roast each other's knowledge of barbeque. Who will emerge the pitmaster? Can't get enough of this finger-lickin' content? Head on over to Facebook, Instagram & Twitter for more tasty morsels. Be sure to grab an extra helping on all your favorite platforms!

The dumb dudes get down and dirty with the messy business of mud runs. Can they slog their way through the whole thing? Thanks to Keith Stone for the topic suggestion! Do you have a topic you'd like us to discuss? Find us @DQMPodcast on social media and don't forget to like, subscribe & review on all your favorite platforms!

The dumb dudes attempt to devour the world of competitive eating, so put on your stretchy pants, slap on a bib and see if you can consume this entire episode in one sitting! Feeling hungry for more content? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter @DQMPodcast. Don't forget the healthy portions over at SoundCloud, Google Play & Apple Podcasts. As always, please send your compliments to the chef!

The dumb dudes hash out their issues with public displays of affection/aggression. Why not publicly display your affection for this podcast by giving us a five-star review or following us on all your favorite platforms?!

The dumb dudes embrace their inner-grandpas while discussing their generation's newfound love for the games bocce, shuffleboard and horseshoes. Shuffle on over to Apple Podcasts and leave a review! Don't get stuck in the kitchen and be sure to follow us @DQMPodcasts on all your favorite platforms!

The dumb dudes take a trip through sin city as they struggle to discuss (and even remember) the seven deadly sins. It has been said it is a sin to enjoy this podcast without giving it a five-star review! So, absolve yourself today and head over to Apple Podcasts, lest you burn in the fires of hell...not really. We'll just be sad.

Dust off your harmonium and get ready for the dumb dudes' ode to joy in this episode all about underrated and hotly debated musical instruments! Be sure to tune your instruments to like and subscribe on all your favorite platforms! And follow us @DQMPodcast to truly wet your clarinet reeds!

The dumb dudes take the Pepsi Challenge to determine who's a Mac and who's a PC. Spoiler alert: a Mac IS a PC! Want to try the Pepsi Challenge at home? Find us on Apple Podcasts and give us a five-star review! And if you aren't a Mac, be sure to find us on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts!

Scrub-a-dub-dub, two dumb dudes in a tub! Things get a little messy when the boys try to clean up their act. Wash away your worries with a like, follow or a review!

Ethan doesn't believe pet psychics are real psychics, Todd doesn't believe veterinarians are real doctors and Producer Jerry doesn't believe these dumb dudes are qualified to judge anyone. Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and don't forget to like and subscribe!

The dumb dudes go phishing for intel as they hack into the mainframe. Take the red pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes by liking and subscribing on all your favorite platforms.

How did the states get their shapes? Don't ask the dumb dudes — they just live here. Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and don't forget to like and subscribe!

All aboard the pain train as the boys recount some of their worst injuries. Dumb dudes are gonna dumb, dudes. Let us know about your painful memories @DQMPodcast on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter! And don't forget to give us a like while you're at it!

Were those fireworks? Is this your rooster? What kind of beans are these? The dumb dudes answer their community's burning questions. As always, follow us and subscribe on all your favorite platforms! And if you're listening through iTunes, please give us a five-star review!

The boys wax idiotic on five separate topics in another rapid-fire episode! Tune in to find out whether Todd likes sitcoms and if Ethan can locate Sumatra on a map. The answers may surprise you...but probably not. Thanks to Keith Stone & Ryan Smith for the topic suggestions! Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and leave us a nice review on iTunes!

The dumb dudes ride the crazy train to hell and back as they recount some of their funniest and most harrowing stories from riding on the CTA. Once again, thanks to Jon Pernisek for the wonderful topic! Find us @DQMPodcast on all your favorite platforms!

Jon Pernisek and the dumb dudes are at it again! The shenanigans are turned up to eleven as they discuss comic strips, Garfield tattoos, and of course, Pluggers! Thanks to Jon for joining us for the third time! Please follow him on Twitter @MusicalManPod and subscribe to his wonderful podcast!

In their trivial pursuit of answers to the game of life, the dumb dudes risk everything to uncover the true monopoly within board games. Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and don't forget to like and subscribe!

The dumb dudes always seem to lose their way, but somehow manage to find it again! Join them as they search in the last place you look...for anything funny. Thanks to Ethan McAulay for the topic suggestion! If you have topics you'd like us to discuss, please send them our way. You can find us @DQMPodcast on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.

Step into Todd & Ethan's Comedy Shack where they discuss the world of animated movies. Kid tested, Mother approved? Extra special thanks to Jon Pernisek for the topic suggestion! Please send us your topics and maybe we'll discuss them on upcoming episodes! Find us on Facebook, Twitter and now Instagram @DQMPodcast!

The dumb dudes take a trip down memory lane to discuss their first and oddest jobs. Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and don't forget to like and subscribe!

The dumb dudes are joined by a "special guest" (who may or may not be up to no good on the Jersey Boardwalk) as they discuss estate, yard & garage sales. Thanks to Keith Stone for the topic suggestion! Don't forget to like and subscribe on all your favorite platforms!

The dumb dudes discuss the origins of advice columns, such as Dear Abby and her elusive sister, while attempting to create their own advice persona. Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and don't forget to like and subscribe!

While attempting to stay hip and topical, the #dumbdudes discuss the Grammys and hit a new low — even for them. Please like and subscribe on all your favorite platforms!

The dumb dudes take a detour on the road less traveled through the highway to hell. Thanks to Ryan Smith for the topic! Please submit your suggestions @DQMPodcast on Facebook or Twitter and don't forget to subscribe on all your favorite platforms!

The boys try out a fun new format suggested by the always smooth Keith Stone! In five minute increments, the boys break down five separate topics the only way they know how: without any sort of clue. Thanks again to Keith Stone for helping us mix it up! Please follow us on all your favorite platforms and give us a nice review on iTunes!

Get out your passive-aggressive notes, gather 'round the water cooler and be sure HR is on speed dial because this week the boys are taking on office etiquette. Thanks to Jon Pernisek for another fun topic suggestion! Please send us your topics via Twitter & Facebook @DQMPodcast, or SoundCloud. And don't forget to rate, review, like and subscribe!

Suit up, grab your gadgets and hop in your Aston Martin for a ride through the shaken (not stirred) history of everyone's favorite superspy: James Bond. Thanks to Jon Pernisek for another great topic suggestion! Please send us your topics via Twitter & Facebook @DQMPodcast, or SoundCloud. And don't forget to rate, review, like and subscribe!

In this very musical episode, the boys are joined once again by Jon Pernisek to help uncover deeply suppressed memories and of course, bits! Thanks to Jon for joining us for another episode! Please follow him on Twitter @JonPernisek and @MusicalManPod for updates on his upcoming podcast!

The boys are joined by the hilarious Jon Pernisek to discuss all your favorite (and lesser known NSFW) game shows! And as a special treat, Jon hosts his own game show designed to test Ethan and Todd's true #loveconnection. Extra special thanks to Jon for joining us this week! Please follow him on Twitter @JonPernisek and @MusicalManPod for updates on his upcoming podcast!

In this very spooky episode, the boys get into the true SPIRIT of the season to debate whether they want to meet ghosts or zombies. Thanks to Matt Garcia for this week's topic! You can submit your topics via Facebook, Twitter, or SoundCloud. And as always, don't forget to give us five death-stars on iTunes!

Grab a knife and fork and dig into this episode all about regional dishes! Which regional dishes are your favorites? Which did we forget? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter @DQMPodcast! And as always, please subscribe on your favorite platforms and give us a five-star review!

The boys sold their souls in an effort to win a JD Power & Associates award. Extra special thanks to Keith Stone for this week's episode topic! As always, submit your topics via Facebook or Twitter (@DQMPodcast), SoundCloud or wherever books are sold.

Your complete guide to raising your humans. Who knows better than two boys with no kids? Please follow us on Facebook & Twitter and subscribe on Google Play, SoundCloud, iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts!

The following show features jokes performed either by professionals or under the supervision of a professional. Accordingly, Producer Jerry must insist that no one attempt to re-enact any jokes or bits performed on this show. Thanks to Evan Jordan (aka "The Trip Doctor") for the topic submission! If you have a topic you'd like us to discuss, send them our way on Twitter, Facebook, or SoundCloud! And please don't forget to give us five death-stars on iTunes!

What has two big mouths, four thumbs and shares half a brain? These dumb dudes! Join them as they explore the puzzling world of riddles! Thanks to Adrienne Caruso for the topic suggestion! If you have a topic you'd like us to discuss, send them our way on Twitter, Facebook or SoundCloud! And please don't forget to leave a review on iTunes!

The boys set their sights on theme restaurants and the results will shock you. Hooters, Dick's & Hard Rocks will never be the same. Please follow us on Facebook & Twitter and subscribe on GooglePlay, SoundCloud, iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts!