The Spiritual Abuse Podcast

Deconstruction is a dirty word in church circles. It is framed as the gateway to deconversion, heresy, etc. While deconstruction can lead to an abandonment of the faith, it can also nourish one's broken, existing faith to grow into something much stronger and more beautiful. In this episode, we dive into what deconstruction is, provide some real world examples and locate where we are on our deconstruction journeys, hopefully concluding with hope for those thinking about beginning their own. No one needs to be afraid of themselves or their own minds. Deconstruction is a necessity. It facilitates the medicine for healing.

It is becoming glaringly obvious the western church has some major problems. Boundless wealth. Countless scandals. A footprint of spiritual malpractice. The church is broken. In this episode, we humbly discuss what we believe are some major problems in the western church. And we paint a picture of what we believe the Church should look like, and what it will hopefully become in the future.

Many times churches, although meaning well, present archetypes of what a Christ follower looks like to emulate and reflect. But far too many times this simple desire to provide examples to follow can encroach on someone's individuality and even pressure them to overwrite their God-given personality. This pressure only increases the further one becomes committed to a certain church and accepts more and more responsibility. 30 years is ample amount of time to erode your sense of self-worth, self-confidence and even your idea of self. Lisa knows this. Lisa lived this. In this episode, Lisa gives us a transparent, sincere perspective of her experiences with what she calls "identity theft," and how she is actively working to recover from this.

Trauma is a reality for many people, and there are varying degrees of trauma. While the road to healing varies from person to person, we all must start by first admitting we have been traumatized. In this episode we get raw, real and deep. If you have experienced any level of church hurt, this might resonate with you.

We wanted to take a pause on the interviews and provide some resources and coping mechanisms we employ on our spiritual abuse recovery. Spiritual abuse is real and it is no less than traumatic. We hope these resources and what we have learned so far on our journey help you on your road to healing.

When you are an intern for a megachurch, odds are they think they own you. They own your thoughts. They own your emotions. They own your spirit. They own your body. Mishya, a Bible school student and intern at a very prominent church, was unfortunately a victim of this micromanagement, and it is still affecting her to this day.

Have you ever heard the term gaslighting? It's becoming an increasingly popular term. But what does it mean? What are examples of its use? Have you been gaslighted before? In this episode, we dive into what gaslighting is and how it plays out in our lives.

Now an ex-pastor, Grant served at the same congregation for over 20 years. The spiritual abuse within the congregation became so unbearable for Grant that he finally decided to resign. Adding to a church culture that was ultimately toxic and driven by fear, Grant describes some within the congregation as "two-faced," and he is still recovering from the turmoil to this day. Grant's story is unique. It shows that spiritual abuse stems typically from those with the most power, and in the Church of Christ's structure, that ultimate power is with the congregants.

Have you ever found yourself repeatedly putting yourself out there, only to find yourself alone? Have you dedicated your life, passion and strength to something, only to be treated as a "cog" in the system? Did you ever feel not part of the group, no matter how available you made yourself to be? Samuel knows what this feels like, and it has had marked impact on his mental health.

Christian has worked with almost 10 churches over the past 7-8 years. He has a career as a worship pastor. In this episode, we discuss what a spiritually healthy church looks like, and we dive deep particularly into a church that abused both him and his now wife, Stephanie. The abuse was so suffocating at times that it almost destroyed their relationship, their joy and their hope.

Adam's been through a lot--a lot. His childhood spirituality could be likened to a jolting rollercoaster, tossed in many directions and gripping to hold on. In this episode, we describe some moments within this tumultuous childhood that were especially damaging spiritually, mentally and emotionally and how these events affect him even to this day.

It is not often you get to hear a real, raw discussion about shared spiritual abuse among the family. In this episode, Eddie, Joseph and Hannah discuss Hannah's experience growing up around spiritual abuse and experiencing spiritual abuse firsthand as she matured.

In this episode we discuss Joseph's experience with spiritual abuse right in the middle of also fighting mental illness. This episode describes how culture can be an unspoken vehicle by which an abuser can crush a soul.

In this episode we discuss Eddie Wilson's account of spiritual abuse. Eddie Wilson is a former associate pastor of a known church in Middle Tennessee. Serving over 30 years within this ministry in many different roles, he has had plenty of experiences with spiritual abuse.

In this episode we present a couple definitions of what spiritual abuse is, and we discuss our hearts and focus for this podcast.