Don't Hold Back

It's been a year...a whole year since we all went home in March of 2020 and expected that this would only last for a few weeks. A year later, Alixx and I take a moment to reflect on grief, our last day outside, and how we cannot wait to go to the movies. Listen to us as Alixx tells us about her job as an EMT and how we all need to give more grace to each other.

Last episode of 2020!!!!! Syedah comes on the podcast to talk about black people getting superpowers, lessons we learned this year, and how black people stay "black peopling." This year has been nothing short of a ride so listen to us laugh and crack jokes as we send 2020 off in style! See you all in 2021!

It's Nov. 5th, 2020. Two things are true: we still don't know who the president is and Margaret and I are not having a good week. We chat about our coping mechanisms the past few days, Margaret's almost suppressed vote, my sudden illness, and my quota of white people. Through the laughs and realization that our democracy is truly doomed, Margaret talks to me about the hard conversations she has with her white peers about racism, politics, and everything in between.

Josh Foster is one of the only people I know who can get into an uber ride and leave the car with a job offer from the driver! We all know those people, who seem to connect with almost anyone in such a genuine way. So Josh came on the podcast to tell me and you all how networking can be done in a way that is not inherently transactional. Our conversation led to him coining the term "microwave networker", cluing me into one of his special day jobs, and sharing with me a hilarious, yet concerning story!

It's October, Halloween is around the corner, and today is the start of Scorpio Szn, so it only makes sense that my return episode is all about fear! Today, Mallika and I take a moment to talk about the bad reputation that the emotion fear gets and how we shift the use of fear in our lives. We talk about how we examined fear in our youth, the loss of curiosity as an adult, and Mallika tells everyone her American Dream: free therapy for all. Listen all the way through as Mallika drops gems, from the very first minute to the last few seconds of the episode.

Don't Hold Back is on a hiatus for two weeks and will be back in October! In the meantime, please let me know if there are any topics you want to hear about!!!

Today's episode is more informal than usual in the best way possible. Jessica and I took some time, to talk about why black women are tired of being expected to save the world. We laughed a lot and asked many rhetorical questions! Of course it is me, so we do get around to serious topics. There is drinking involved in this episode so that should explain things!

Today on the podcast, Ron comes to discuss the complex duality of buying black while imagining an anti-capitalistic world. We discuss how people can examine the ills of capitalism in America and acknowledge the way black people were not afforded generational wealth. Other topics include: entrepreneurship, Booker T. Washington, and James Baldwin. Articles for more info: https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/nipsey-killer-mike-race-economics/tnamp/ https://www.socialistalternative.org/2019/04/01/are-these-ideas-useful-to-fight-oppression-a-review-of-killer-mikes-trigger-warning/

After Jacob Blake's shooting earlier this week and the RNC coming to a close last night, it only made sense that this week would be all about politics. Leanna and Shondrea hopped on to discuss what a Biden/Harris presidency means to them, the idea of representation, and if abstaining to vote is actually a vote for Trump. Keep listening to hear me go on a rant about how the act of voting is not as individualistic and revolutionary as we have all been led to believe. Listen up!

With the release of Black Is King last week, the age old question of if Black people can perform cultural appropriation came back to the surface. Can Black Americans misuse African culture? Is Africa being treated as a monolith? Today I speak with Ezeugo, a college friend who is Nigerian American and discuss ethnicity, college politics, and if any of the critiques of Beyoncé are valid. Listen closely because we even touch on Drake and his...weird accents in songs. Ezeugo's Twitter: https://twitter.com/JoHnAtHaNuKeM

Kira, one of my dear friends, comes on the podcast today to discuss what it means to date to marry. Which basically means, the idea of dating with intention and not just for an experience. We talk about her upcoming wedding, my hesitancy regarding marriage, and why everyone talks about marriage like it is the hardest thing in the entire world.

Remember that really bad break up with your ex? Well that can happen with friends too...or can it? Today Austin and I discuss how we both navigate our friendships, why we are all taught to prioritize romantic relationships, and how it is very possible to mourn a friendship that has ended. We even took a chance to dive into how covid impacts our friendships these days!

Shondrea, a second time guest on the podcast, takes some time to talk to me about what fat phobia means and how we all participate in it. Those little comments we say to ourselves about our body? Fatphobic. The judgement you have when someone wears something you don't think looks good on fat people...fatphobic. Listen to Shondrea as she tells us why we take part in something that always hurts us.

Today on the podcast we talk all things celebrities! Celebrity culture is a staple of American culture, but with a pandemic and a civil rights movement, celebrity culture is shifting as we know it. Elisabetta gets on the podcast today to tell me why she loves celebrities, we discuss if celebs should speak up on important issues, and inevitably we talk about Beyoncé. Also please listen to Leanna's podcast Absolutely Not, where she debunks many popular ideas. If you listen to the 3rd episode you might hear a familiar voice... https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/absolutely-not/id1522090488?i=1000485256797

Today Blake VP and I talk about all things entrepreneurship on the podcast. Since most of Twitter and Instagram encourages people to start their own businesses and stop working their 9am-5pm jobs, I decided to talk to Blake about his journey as a business owner. He is the founder of Cise Agency, a branding and design agency. Blake breaks down the myths of being your own boss, tells us why "Rise and Grind" Twitter should keep going, and listens to me struggle to say the word entrepreneur...multiple times.

Lavender and I take a moment to talk about dating during this time. Should we be doing it? Should y'all be doing? Are we doing it? We sit and dissect texting practices and how if you didn't start this quarantine with a partner, you really can't date until 2021. Enjoy!

Nia Ashley, a writer, producer, and dear friend, takes some time to discuss with me what classifies a work of art as "Black art." We take time to go into why we hate the trash talk about Lizzo, Kenya Barris should hire us to make another "ish" show, and that in our demand for more Black art, we want art that is pretty terrible as well.

Happy Juneteenth! On this historic day for black people, I give you a longer episode where my two friends, Dele and Miles, take some time to talk and laugh with me. All of us discuss growing up black in our respective locations, high school, and the age old debate of Predominately White Institutions vs. Historically Black Colleges and Universities. In addition, we take a tiny dive into the different ways we perform blackness and that no matter what, black people will always laugh.

Jelani Jenkins, a former NFL player, and possibly my long lost cousin, took some time to talk to me about what it means to be mindful. We discussed how people can center themselves in this trying time with self love, how protest takes different forms, and how practice sometimes does make perfect.

In the midst of everything going on, i.e. black people's fight to live...I took a moment to talk to Tevin Tavares who is a young filmmaker already doing great things and will only continue to rise as time goes on. We talk for a bit about his story, creativity, and the ways we sometimes stand in the way of our own dreams. If you need a reprieve, I invite you to listen!

After a long hiatus, Marquita is back with her podcast Don't Hold Back! This revival is particularly special given the times we are in. Listen to my roommate and I talk about things we have been doing to cope during this time! Also I'm taking this moment to hold space for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and the countless number of black men and women who have been killed by America's obsession with white supremacy.

If someone told you they were deactivating all of their social media, staying home all the time, and talking out loud to themselves, you would question their sanity. That would make perfect sense to me! I probably would do the same thing, but this week I explain how these very things are allowing me to flourish in the clarity of my thoughts. In an effort to clear the space in my head, I decided to clear the space around me. Listen to this week's episode and stay tuned for an episode in two weeks!

Malcolm X famously said the black woman is the most disrespected woman in America and that quote is the backdrop of the twentieth episode. Today we talk about black women and sexual assault. I will center the voices of three black women who are survivors and let them take a few minutes to answer one question for me: How does the black community contribute to the mistreatment of black girls and black women in light of the R. Kelly documentary? Take a listen to hear what they said. Thank you for listening!

On today's episode I talk about the viral video of a Columbia University student that went on a long rant about how great white people are. I talk about why the video failed to shock me and how often times what is happening in the real world directly correlates to the activities on college campuses. I also take a moment to talk about the boy in the video and why I am conflicted about the huge media storm surrounding this incident.

The question of the day was: If white women are putting on makeup to appear darker...is that a modern form of blackface? Apparently there are women on instagram who look black but are...white. They even tricked me! Sounds wild, right? Darren and I discussed how far are people allowed to alter their look? What are the parameters of blackness? Is there a look or sound or culture to it? And how much are others allowed to partake in that culture? What is it about social media that allowed this to happen?

This week is a short episode. I just update you all on a new endeavor I am tagging along with, some ideas about voting, and the fact that it is my favorite month ever!! November! Take a listen and next week we will go back to original programming!

Today's episode features Dre, who is a friend of mine and someone who I've been trying to collaborate with forever now! We decided to do an episode surrounding the show Insecure by Issa Rae. Our focus was on a storyline concerning ghosting and how it correlates to mental illness. We touch on many subjects today and of course have fun along the way! Enjoy the episode!

Ever had a week when you worked 7 days straight? Well that is me this week and I wanted to share a few tips on what to do when you have a work marathon. Things like sleeping and eating are the most important. Listen to me ramble for 15 minutes on how I am surviving hectic work week!

This has been a very stressful week in society, so Paula and I decided to talk about something light and fun! We sat down to discuss monogamy and what that looks like in our world, as well as polyamory and if we could practice that in our lives. Thanks to Paula for joining me this episode, it was a fun time!!!!

Don't Hold Back has returned from its hiatus! In this episode, I give y'all some personal updates as well as a run down of the recent societal events that grabbed my attention. This episode is short and sweet and I look forward to creating more episodes in the upcoming weeks! Thank you for listening!

This week I take a moment to discuss the gruesome murder of Nia Wilson, an 18 year old black woman who was killed on a train station in the Bay Area by a white man. Her death along with countless other events this week, reinforce the idea that black women are not protected and cared for in this society. Listen to my thoughts and of course feel free to reach. This is an episode to and for black women.

This week I return with some data from a "research project" I embarked on. Online dating is prevalent in our generation; there is no doubt that people are turning to the internet to find love...and whatever else. In the second part of this two part episode, I talk to Shondrea who knows way more about dating apps than I do. She also explains the coffee and bagel app!! z

This week I return with some data from a "research project" I embarked on. Online dating is prevalent in our generation; there is no doubt that people are turning to the internet to find love...and whatever else. In the first part of this two part episode, I decide to put myself out there...for research purposes. Listen to me talk about my experience with dating apps and why I think the funniest things only happen to me!

Kim Johnson, my guest on this episode, has bright red hair and we took a moment to discuss how the relationship we have with our hair is tied to our blackness. Why do we wear our hair curly, or straight? What is our hair story from childhood to young adulthood? How is the relationship black women have with their hair one of a kind? We had a lovely conversation that I hope you will enjoy and discussed the reclamation of the hair we have grown to love.

Last week, the world was informed of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's deaths. Two people whose struggle with mental health ended tragically. I took this moment in time to discuss mental health in regards to social media and our current generation. Researchers say that depression and anxiety is at an all time high. Social media might be the cause of it, with constant stimuli that allow us to compare ourselves all the time to one another. Austen Tosone, a blogger who uses social media often for her very own brand, sat with me and discussed the ways you can make social media and life a healthier place. Content warning: mental health and suicide

It's all about beauty! Today I let you all join me as I get ready in the morning and take you step by step through my skincare/makeup routine. For all those who wanted the skincare routine: this is the episode for you! I list the products I use and where you can get them from, as well as my dos and don'ts. If you missed any products that are mentioned in the episode, don't hesitate to contact me!

This week Demi and I try to figure out if Drake has a baby no one knows about. A baby! Is Drake a father? Pusha T and Drake are currently in a rap beef and as all rap beefs go....secrets are being revealed. Are things different if Drake has a baby? We try to figure it out, as well as discuss the other interesting events that occurred this week.

This week I have three friends sit and listen to me tell them a story of how a friend challenged me on the idea of colorism. The challenge led to a debate and a very exhausting exchange. Today we talk about what colorism is, dating preferences, our own ideas of blackness, and remember that every thought we have may not be our own. Thank you to Damon, Imani, and Kidd for their insight and for lending me their time.

Listen to a quick synopsis of Don't Hold Back and what I plan on providing to my listeners!

You graduate college and then what? You get a job? Start grad school? Move? Become an adult? What happens if in the process of those things you become sad? Now what you are "supposed" to do no longer feels right. This week we talk about post grad depression and what happens when the biggest moment of your life is more bitter than sweet.

Kanye West has been on the edge for a while and I am not happy about it. In the past few weeks, West's Twitter has made a return, along with some interesting ideas. Alex, a self-proclaimed Kanye West stan (super fan) came on the show to tell me how he maintains his respect and admiration for Kanye West even in the midst of controversy.

Junot Diaz published a piece in the New Yorker that discussed childhood trauma, love, and intimacy. My guest, Omnia Saed, and I discuss what the piece means to us and our own definitions of love and intimacy.

Welcome to the first episode of Don't Hold Back! Listen to my plans for the future of this podcast and the current events that are on my mind.