From the Back Porch

To truly receive the gift of forgiveness and new life, I have to see how much my life depends on it.

I love order. But why do I fight it when the order isn't how I would order it? Time to stop looking for short cuts and be present in the process- no matter what it looks like.

Sometimes the “in-between” places have more significance than we ever expected.

A final moment on the back porch.

It's a crazy time and so easy to get distracted or to feel the pressure to have it all together.  But what if we slowed down long enough to remember?  To reflect on where we've come from in order to better see where we are going.  To remember how much we are loved in order to live as the beloved child of God.  There is no naughty and nice list here.  Just forgiveness and love and a promise of more to come.

Soaking up all the final days on the farm and a swarm of bees is challenging me to let go and move forward. There's life ahead- an ever-flowing spring to fill me and guide me. It's GO time!

There's a lot happening, and it's happening faster than I'd hoped.  I'm up late making lists, worrying about how it's all going to get done.  And it took a chapter from Monroe's children's Bible to remind me that I am God's child, he loves me dearly, and his favor is on me.  He loves taking care of the things I'm most worried about. It's gonna be ok.

After John calls out the wrong living of the people, they ask "what now?" And his answer, even though I have read it many times, surprised me this time. I think it's because I'm wearing a new lens, the lens of the "fast type of life", and it is starting to shake things up a bit.

Walking thoroughly through Isaiah 58, I continue to be surprised at what God is really asking for from his people.  Moving from the practice of fasting for a day to the everyday "fast" kind of life is no joke.  I mean, it's hard AND it's what God asks for.  This is another way that my faith matures from just a solid set of beliefs, to an intricate weaving of those beliefs into the way I live out each day in relationship to others.  It takes me a long time to land the plane today, but it's important that I really work this one through.  I want to get it right.  This "fast" life is anything but being in a hurry.

Reflecting on my conversation with Amy, I'm reminded how important it is to have a deep understanding of how much God loves me.

In the second half of our conversation, Amy shares with us ways she has learned to practice keeping her focus, choosing what God has for her over what she might want for herself. This is a daily decision. One that leads to intimacy with Jesus and blessing for those around her. We reference the sunflower, an image she and I have talked about before and that I explore in a previous episode that got us talking together about how to keep our heads up. Her voice may sound gentle and quiet, but make no mistake...her resolve is strong and loud. Sunflowers https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-the-back-porch/id1552923122?i=1000530325211

Amy Garcia and I have known each other for years, but we became quick friends after her breast cancer diagnosis in 2018.  One month after I finished my year of treatment and surgery, I walked through the journey again with her and her family.  Suffering bonded us.  But as much as I'd like to say that suffering was behind us, Amy invites us in to her truth that suffering is a part of her story she's choosing to embrace.   This episode was recorded from Amy's couch, her safe place right now.  Instead of chickens and birds you'll hear her dogs for a bit.  But imagine you are sitting with us, lean in closer, and drown out the barking.  I promise it's worth it.

Following up from last week, I'm seeing the "acts of service" list in a new light.  How is serving, freeing, blessing others a type of fast?  More than that, how is it the kind of fast God wants from his people? “No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.  Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help."

Trying to make sense of all that is swirling in my head and I'm starting with Isaiah 58.  There is so much in this message from God to his people, but I'm pausing for a minute in the first few verses.   I reference a previous episode about Jonah. You can find that episode here.

Did you know a sunflower is always tilted face up toward the sun?  As I move forward in this "heads up" journey, I want to learn how to do just that- keep my eyes tilted up, focused, searching, ready.

So often instead of keeping our heads up- alert, aware, ready- we retreat in a protective duck and cover stance.  Retreat and rest can be necessary for a while, but what happens when it's time to step out and face the real world again?  

It feels like I'm coming full circle in my question about the anger that was brewing inside. It's time to stand up, dust off, and start living "off-center" so that I can enjoy the full story being written.

This is the second half of my conversation with Kim Nothdurft.  We get honest and challenge each other in our journey toward receiving with joy the story God has written for each of us.  Stories that don't quite match what our expectations were but that somehow be better than those expectations.   Kim is an amazing woman, mom, and friend.  Read more about her journey on Instagram- @calm_amongst_chaos or at www.calmamongstthechaos.com

Stepping out of my comfort zone, I invited my dear friend Kim to sit with me on the porch.  Kim and I have been friends for nearly 10 years and every time we talk about our deepest desires and prayers for our lives I feel a kindred-ness that brings both comfort and challenge.  It was a long conversation so this is part 1 of our time together.

A C.S. Lewis quote stopped me in my tracks today...Have I been trying to live my "own" story, as I imagined it would be when maybe God has been handing me the "real" story that was written just for me from the beginning?

Reflecting on our role as women and mothers and the origins of this day.

The fight for truth is a life-long battle.  And even when it feels like we've missed the window for trading a lie for truth, we haven't.  It's never too late to step in to the truth of who we are and to live from that truth going forward.  

Why do I resist change?  Willing to sit in a dirty tub of warm water instead of getting out and getting clean?  Maybe like Monroe I'd rather avoid being cold and naked even if where I'm sitting is holding me back.  But it shouldn't be that hard.  It's time to get out of the tub.

The healing process does not happen quickly and requires us to sit in it long enough to experience the full benefit of a healed wound.  I'm looking for scars that can be proof of a fully healed wound with a story of truth and transformation.

Why did Jesus keep his scars? Is it possible scars are proof of wholeness? Thoughts while I wait for Paul to get out of shoulder surgery

When Jesus spoke about the wine and new wineskins, he makes an observation that most of us are happy to just keep drinking the old wine. Would I choose an old wine in an old wineskin if I could have something new? Maybe I would if it meant having to let go of the old in order to become something new, different, and unknown. Luke 5:36-39 NLT

I'm spending some time working through the events of Holy Week, and realizing how important the death part of the story is in order to celebrate and live in the new life part of the story...dying not for death's sake, but for Life's sake.

Sometimes we get handed what appears to be random pieces of puzzle. But as we begin moving those pieces around, a larger picture begins to form. Today feels like work on a puzzle without a clear picture of what I'm creating but it must fit together somehow. Teaching by Scott Swanson at the Grove which I reference can be found here: https://youtu.be/kfxJeOQKkuE

This is a long one, but I'm sitting with a story about Moses that has bothered me, maybe even scared me, for many years.  Looking at it from a different angle helps me see it differently, even if I still have some healthy fear.

Sitting on the beach, watching the waves come in and go back out, I wonder if our emotional shifts are also part of a dependable rhythm we can count on.

The daily speech practice with my grandson suddenly flipped on me and I realized I need to practice the same phrase for very different reasons.

Sadness and anger feel like opposite emotions when it comes to their physical expressions.  But what happens when I'm facing sadness overload and the result looks and feels a lot like anger?

Why am I doing this again?  I'm still figuring it out.

As I keep digging down I'm learning it's not just a "one size fits all" process for resolving anger.

The garden is a sacred space for me, and spiritual insights from the dirt, or even under the dirt, hit hard. This time, those darn gophers teach me a few lessons about anger.

I've got some anger brewing lately and I want to do the work to address it and express it in healing ways. But if I'm honest, this emotion is a hard one for me.

Continuing the conversation from the last episode using Job and his friends as an example.  

The same water drops from the sky above can be received as both snow and rain. Two very different experiences and yet both flowing from the same source. Can truth also land in our lives in more than one form?

Sometimes just getting started is the hardest part. So in this episode I'm jumping straight into it, sharing what has brought me to this point and where I hope to go from here. Welcome to the Back Porch.