I Am the Fly

Even as love and fatherhood have remade my life, I'm not immune to falling into a bit of a rut. But in early aughts New York, you never know when a chance conversation with Lady Gaga will set a course for the future.

My leap into the online dating pool is like 15 years of my dating life condensed into three weeks: a couple of no-shows, a visibly disappointed manic pixie dream-girl, and some fast action on my living room couch. Maybe Alice … Something with an H ... will be the one to turn the tide.

My life has been transformed by Jivamukti Yoga, but I can't shake the sneaking suspicion that I've joined a cult.

I've got cold feet as my meeting with Morgana approaches, but Philip Seymour Hoffman makes my day, and who knows, maybe sparks will fly with the sea goddess.

My best friend is marrying the Girl from Ipanema and I'm the best man. He's been sober for years, as have his closest friends, but people need to party.

The MTV Video Music Awards ended eight hours ago, so what am I doing in Courtney Love's limousine, and where the hell are we going?

An eyelash, Tiny Sized Chiclets, and a miniature hangman's noose…Love is a many-splendored thing.

What my boss and I have here is a failure to communicate, but tonight, with the help of Burt Reynolds, maybe we can start a brand-new working folder.

In this episode, I lose my shirt at the St. Regis, give elocution lessons to Bono, and meet three legendary record producers, only one of whom is a murderer.

My first cousin, Winona Ryder — Noni to me — is engaged to Johnny Depp, and this has afforded me a weird kind of occasional close access to Johnny, a rising star who's a few years away from global fame Tonight, we'll take Manhattan.

Knowing your brother is a genius is one thing; seeing him depicted as a sort of visionary in a slick media magazine is something else.

One-night stands are awkward, and in the era of AIDS they're dangerous. I need a girlfriend and I need one now. Be careful what you wish for.

In this episode, my roommate provides me with an instant social life, and his alluring girlfriend—an eventual Oscar winner—brings the drama. Let's take a trip.

In the first episode, an after-party hang with Courtney Love goes south, I turn Winona Ryder on to indie rock, and introduce you to my uncle, Sgt. Pepper.

In Episode 2, my father gets extremely Bold with Jimi Hendrix's Axis, my hometown of Tenafly is lousy with pop hits, and my brother Meets a Beatle. Which sucks …

An evening with Led Zeppelin leaves me dazed and confused at my best friend's lack of scruples.

Juvenile delinquency with Tenafly's Rum Bum gang ends in a major bummer, but a man with a cigarette is never alone.

Projectiles are all the rage at Smith Schools. A bent paperclip attached to a stretched rubber band achieves greater distance and greater pain. I'm about to meet with the sharp end of that proposition.

Mom finds peace — make that Tenafly Women for Peace — I find Jesus (“Christ Superstar” that is), and Tommy Roberts and I form a Union … of the Smacked.

In Episode 4, my first-grade teacher sniffs out a hippie lover, I land in the stockade, and my brother is always in the last place you'd think to look.

In Episode 3, we'll all Meet the Beatles and the family genius. Plus: the Scariest Song in the World.