Leading and Love

In this episode, we discuss why spousal abuse is not ok which probably goes without saying. A lot of times spouses treat each other abusively and carry on as though it's just part of the relationship. What they don't know is that they might have already fractured their entire marriage and destroyed whatever future they thought they would have. We discuss how to recognize abuse from either side and how to recover from abuse.

In this episode, we talk about what you should do and what you should not do if you feel as though you are not yet ready for marriage counselling. Marriage health is just as important physical and mental health. Often times, one spouse might not feel ready for counselling. If one spouse is not ready, then both spouses are not ready. But in the mean time there are some things you need to be sure of in your marriage while you wait.

In this episode, we talk about why it is important to use the advice of a marriage counsellor in order to keep your marriage healthy. Just like how we seek health advice from a medical doctor, or we we seek legal advice from a lawyer before we make a decision, we should seek guidance from a marriage counsellor. This will help preempt undesirable outcomes in your marriage. 

Welcome to the start of a brand new season. In this episode, we look at some marriage trends to see how marriage has changed over the past years. We discuss the current attitudes toward marriage and compare it to what it was in the past and talk about what we expect of marriage in the future.

In this episode, we talk about how to make your marriage fun and easier.  Busyness, boredom and complacency are marriage killers. But busyness is inevitable. The key is to manage busyness so that you can mitigate boredom and complacency. We suggest some ways to keep the fire burning in your marriage.

In this episode, we will be talking about the some of the challenges that come along with being married and managing your career. To be successful in some careers, it can take up a lot of your time inside and outside of the workplace. What happens if you get a promotion? What happens if you lose your job? What if you have to relocate? These are some examples of the transitions that you will have to face if you're married with children and intent on growing in your career. Even without children, your marriage can be impacted by these things.  

In this episode, we will be talk about reasons to get married that have nothing to do with love. Marriage is often portrayed as a simple contract which can be broken or even renegotiated at some point down the road. But that should not be the case. Of course, love should be a big part of your marriage, but as discussed, there are lots of other factors and benefits that come from such a fulfilling relationship.

In this episode, we talk about the importance of remaining physically healthy in order to get the best out of your marriage. There are so many things that can impact your physical health including your mental health. We provide answers to the following questions: Why it is important to take care of your physical health? Who are the winners and losers of your poor health? How does taking care of your health maximizes your marriage relationship? What can you do to promote good physical health in your marriage?

In the last episode of the series on Nonstop Marriages, we talk about reinventing your marriage. Nonstop marriages mean that spouses experience 2 to 5 relationships over the lifetime of their marriage. Reinventing your marriage simply means recognizing the phases that your marriage will go through, and approach it as though you are starting your relationship over and over. That is one way to do it. The other way is to create the moments and milestones where you want to start over. You don't need tragedy to reinvent your marriage. Enjoy!!

In the penultimate instalment of our series on nonstop marriages, we talk about entitlement. Each spouse is entitled to certain things from their spouse.  This entitlement can be interpreted as ownership which means that one spouse could be in debt to the other spouse if the entitlements are not granted. We discuss how to secure your marriage by looking at entitlements as privileges to receive and to grant.

In this episode we talk about how to ask for what you want to get your needs met. We discuss reasons why you might not get what you want, what you should do before you ask, what you should consider before you ask, and what you should do after you ask. Learning how to communicate directly is a critical piece in creating nonstop marriages.

In this episode we will be talking about responsibility rules which is somewhat of a play on words. You might hear responsibility rules as in responsibility is the dominant factor or the rules of responsibility. We will be focusing on the rules of responsibility while keeping in mind that responsibility is very important in marriage, particularly if you want to build a nonstop marriage. We discuss assigning roles in your marriage, holding each spouse accountable and supporting each other in those roles.

In the second instalment of our series on Nonstop Marriage, we emphasize the importance of communicating early and often. Communication is vital to any lasting marriage, but sometimes spouses fail to communicate early and often which would demonstrate to the other spouse the importance and value of something. We discuss the benefits and some challenges when it comes to communicating early and often.

In this episode, we launch a brand new series entitled "Nonstop Marriages". This first instalment focuses on some practical things that are critical in creating nonstop marriages. We address passion, purpose, values, health and wellness, wealth, family and community and the importance of having these things present in your marriage to create a forever mindset.

In this episode, our 20th, we take questions from our listeners. We talk about who we are, our experiences as a married couple and as leaders, and what drove us to starting Leading and Love. 

In this final instalment of our series on comparing marriages, we talk about how comparing marriages can cause couples to develop a sense of entitlement. We discuss how entitlement can drive couples to want three things that will appease their attitude of having the right to certain things and not being able to get those things. We discuss ways to protect your marriage from going down this road of destruction.

In the second instalment of this mini-series, we move the discussion to why couples want to build relationships with other couples. While building relationships with other married couples has some benefits, the outcome can be detrimental for at least one of the couples. The bottom line is that all relationships should be scrutinized.

In this episode, we talk about one of worst mistakes that couples make - comparing their marriages with that of others. Comparing marriages can result in resentment between spouses and against other couples. We suggest reasons why couples compare their marriages and offer ways to stop the comparison.

In this episode, we discuss the impact of mental health on marriages. The risk of some sort of mental illness is similar to the risk of some sort of physical illness. We talk about ways to recognize mental illness in yourself and your spouse as well as the importance of managing your mental health through self-awareness and self-care.

In this episode, we discuss the fact that there will always be something to grieve about in your marriage. We share ways to handle grief and make the best of the most inevitable experiences you will face.

In this episode, we are going to shed some light on how to see the good side of your frustrations. We will get into why frustrations - though they cause us to think negatively - are actually essential to jumpstart your vision for a better way of being and doing things.

In this episode, we examine problem solving in marriage. Spouses need to become good at solving marital problems in order to preserve their marriage. One of the keys to effective problem solving is changing your perspective towards your spouse and the issue(s) at hand. 

In this episode, we discuss thirteen critical things that lasting relationships need. Many of these things are simple yet often overlooked. The best part is that they are applicable to leadership anywhere.

In this episode, we discuss disappointments - a fact of life. You will be let down at some point in your life and at some point in your marriage. Either your spouse disappoints you or you are both disappointed by something. We share how to set realistic expectations so that both spouses are empowered to strengthen the relationship.

In this episode, we consider whether or not it is normal and healthy to argue. Some spouses get defensive or contemptuous. We also suggest ways to argue properly in order to create a new level of trust, understanding and respect. 

In this episode, we discuss Low-Intensity Chronic Warfare aka bickering. This behaviour might seem harmless but it is in fact insidious. We discuss turning bickering into real conversations to resolve the underlying issues.

In this episode, we talk about apologizing. Spouses hurt each other often and seldom provide recourse to restitution. We discuss the correct way to apologize so that both spouses can move forward together.

In this episode, we discuss how to make your marriage a space of trust and security. We talk about the importance of using affirming words to build each other up, rather than spewing out malignant words to break each other apart.

In this episode, we explore a common behaviour between spouses - scorekeeping. Sometimes spouses become locked in competition about any and everything, ranging from petty to serious. We discuss the pitfalls of keeping score and how to make scorekeeping a collaborative effort rather than a competitive matter.

In this episode, we extend the conversation from pet peeves to triggers. We point out how to subjectively define your triggers and offer suggestions for managing them before they cause you to get out of control.

In this episode, we talk about pet peeves - the irksome habits and behaviours of your spouse that drive you up the wall. We discuss the various magnitudes of pet peeves, how to cope, and drawing the line between "OK" and "Too much!"

In this episode, we discuss the importance of spending time together as spouses. It is absolutely imperative that you set aside time for relief, time for rejuventation and time for learning and development. We offer suggestions for making time for each other and getting the most from your time together. 

In our first episode, we talk about being too busy to find time to get "busy" with our spouse. We explore the different levels of intimacy and offer tips for making time to express your love to each other.