Podcasts about Spouse

In this episode, Adam and Ashlee unpack manipulation in marriage and relationships—from subtle “shame tactics” to using outside voices to force a spouse to agree, forgive, or comply. They react to a viral moment where an Olympic athlete publicly admits cheating and frames it as a dramatic apology, and they explain why “public gestures” can sometimes be more about pressure and image than true repentance and repair.They also talk about what healthy transparency looks like versus emotional abuse, why couples often try to “prove they're right” by pulling in friends, family, or even pastors, and how isolation (“decisions in a vacuum”) leads to even worse choices. Plus: a real-life example of how small misunderstandings can spiral, why strong marriages recover quickly, and how to pursue accountability without humiliating the person you love.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://www.instagram.com/amesa/https://www.instagram.com/ashleemesa/--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com

Larry Freeborg, business transformation coach, shares relief though his company Stepping Through the Gate and his book, Always At Choice: Strategies for Moving on After the Death of a Spouse or Life Trauma –pain, grief, loss, tragedy

When your spouse asks for something that you can't/won't do, why do you tell them you will instead of answering honestly about your doubts and limitations? You could be a people pleaser, you could have limited self-awareness, and you could be clinging to an outdated or inaccurate self concept. How can you change in this domain for the better?If you enjoy my content, here's my buy me a coffee link! https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmomJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠To get over 200 more episodes, most recently "Flexibility: The Most Important Quality In A Partner," subscribe here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For coaching from DPM, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Chris and I tackle two questions from our community that we see coming up time and time again: How do you create financial independence within a marriage, and how do you get on the same page with your spouse about money?   Key Topics: The Reality for Women & Finances Nearly 1 in 3 Canadian women have no individual savings outside shared household finances After divorce, women's household income drops 23% on average (vs. only 10% for men) Women live 4-6 years longer than men but hold significantly less in retirement savings Why We Need to Talk About This Money is likely the #1 reason for divorce after infidelity We share our own journey—from financial stress and scorekeeping to building a healthier partnership The importance of viewing both partners' contributions (including stay-at-home work valued at $150-200K/year!) as equal Getting on the Same Page: Our Best Advice Start with the numbers—listen to last week's episode on preparing for a financial needs analysis Have the uncomfortable conversation and sit with the discomfort Focus on shared goals and values, not just budgets Schedule regular "money dates" to stay aligned Building Financial Independence Within Marriage Why you need separate accounts AND joint accounts Making sure both names are on major assets (mortgage, house deed, etc.) Understanding life insurance, disability, and critical illness coverage The difference between mortgage insurance and personal life insurance (this one's huge!) Creating a shared document with all your accounts and investments Red Flags to Watch For No access to financial information, logins, or passwords One partner controlling 100% of the money Being blocked from working or creating your own income Action Steps: Have the conversation—even if it's uncomfortable Get educated on basic financial literacy Consider booking a call with a financial advisor to create a plan together Make sure you both understand where all your money is and how it's protected Click here to listen: Apple Podcasts – CLICK HERESpotify – CLICK HERE Free Resources: Free Perimenopause Support Guide | jennpike.com/perimenopausesupport Free Blood Work Guide | jennpike.com/bloodworkguide The Simplicity Sessions Podcast | jennpike.com/podcast Get 20% on thewalkingpad.com using code "JENNPIKE20" Get discounts at happybumco.com using code "JENNPIKE" *code doesn't apply with Black Friday sale* Programs: Ignite: Your 8-Week Body Transformation Program | https://jennpike.com/ignite The Peri & Menopause Project  - Join the Waitlist | jennpike.com/theperimenopauseproject Synced Virtual Fitness Studio | jennpike.com/synced Services: Work With Jenn | https://jennpike.com/work-with-jenn/ Functional Testing | jennpike.com/testing-packages Business Mentorship | The Audacious Woman Mentorship:  jennpike.com/theaudaciouswoman Connect with Jenn: Instagram | @jennpike Facebook | @thesimplicityproject YouTube | Simplicity TV Website | The Simplicity Project Inc. Connect with Chris: Instagram | @chrisborsellino Finance Discovery Session | Book Here Have a question? Send it over to hello@jennpike.com and I'll do my best to share helpful insights, thoughts and advice.

Some journeys change your destination. Others change your life.In this deeply encouraging episode, we share a powerful Story from the Road that reminds us why the RV lifestyle is about more than travel, it is about purpose, healing, and discovering what is still possible.We share Janet McKinney's remarkable journey after losing her husband and lifelong RV travel partner. Together, they built a life around adventure and the freedom of the road. But when tragedy struck, Janet faced overwhelming grief and an uncertain future.Instead of giving up on the dream they shared, Janet found the courage to keep moving forward. She embraced the road again, discovered renewed purpose, and learned powerful lessons about resilience, hope, and healing along the way.Her story is honest, emotional, and incredibly inspiring, a reminder that even after loss, new beginnings are possible.:Our RV Trip of the Week destination suggestion to inspire your next adventureAnswers to your RV questionsPractical RV lifestyle tips and insightsEncouragement for wherever your journey takes youWhether you are planning your next trip, navigating life changes, or simply looking for inspiration, this episode will speak to your heart.For more information on our workshop about getting your RV ready for spring go to https://rvpodcast.com/workshopTo get our RV Travel Guide on Utah National Parks go to https://rvlifestyle.com/utahFor information on the RV Community see https://rvcommunity.com

Are you providing your patients with a 5-star treatment? It starts with your front office. Kiera breaks down what a full rollout of peak client care looks like, identifying five different points to utilize as soon as that patient walks through the door (or calls). Episode resources: 5 Star Treatment Planning Document Subscribe to The Dental A-Team podcast Schedule a Practice Assessment  Leave us a review Transcript: The Dental A Team (00:00) Hello, Dental A Team listeners, this is Kiera. And today, I am so excited. Today is gonna be one of my absolute favorite topics, and it is getting more patients to say yes to treatment. You guys, I obsess about this, and I talk about it a lot, and I just feel that these are some really good things. And so I wanted to go through our five-star treatment planning process with you today, so that way you guys are able to help more patients say yes, be able to maximize your practice.   Because at the end of the day, a patient who comes into your practice, they want to do dentistry. There is a treatment coordinator that I worked with for years and she always says like, Kiera, my thoughts are when I go in and I treatment plan, like the reason is patients are gonna say yes to me because they're at the practice, they want to get this help. And I just think having that mindset helps so much. And so this is a five-star treatment planning and we've actually created it for the entire practice. And   one I'm gonna go through is,   specific and then we actually broke it down for our front office team, our clinical team and our doctors of this process of five star treatment planning. And what's really fun is when we implement this into a practice, we do a full rollout with the team. And then what we do is actually once they complete it, they actually get to check off their stars. And there's actually way you can become five star certified in Dental A Team. So if you're new to the podcast, welcome. I'm Kiera. Dent really is my last name. I'm obsessed with all things dentistry and I'm obsessed with teams and doctors having their best life possible.   Our team is so committed to you, to your practice, to making sure that you are thriving and not just surviving. And so really giving you guys tips and tricks that you can go implement into your practice to help more patients say yes, to be able to help your team be so thorough and so productive and really making life easier. So we love to hear from you. I love pen pals. You can always reach out Hello@TheDentalATeam.com. And if you're ever curious of, I wonder what consulting could look like in my practice.   Be sure to book a call. It's complimentary. We go through your practice with you. We assess your practice. We give you a roadmap, whether you work with us or don't, to make sure that you are always being able to positively impact your team, your life, and your community. Because our goal is to positively impact the world of dentistry in the greatest way possible. So with that, five-star treatment planning. So these are the quick five stars that we go. And like I said, then it's broken down more in depth of what each department needs to do. ⁓   The first one is going to be more for front office team members. And it also can be for clinical team if we're actually having them present treatment in the back. And so the first star is when we go into it, we're going to smile and assume the yes. So before we even walk into the room, we have confidence. We know that we're going to go into it. We know that we're going to have patients say yes to us and we smile.   We are going to assume that the patient wants to do dentistry. Why are we going through and saying like, my gosh, this is a big case. my gosh. I don't know if they're going to accept. my gosh. my gosh. Stop that. Why are we doing that? There's absolutely no reason to do that. Patients are at the dental practice and just because they don't love the dentist doesn't mean that they don't want to have healthy mouths and healthy teeth and being able to have confidence. I say our mouths are the coolest thing ever. We get to smile with them. We get to talk with them. We get to eat with it.   Like there's so much value to it. Like it truly is, I think, the gateway to our confidence. It's the gateway to our health. And so being able to help patients have that. So I'm always going to assume, like my mantra is, everyone says yes to Kiera and there's always a solution and we will find it together. So we go in and we have that and we're going to assume the yes. We also gonna use what I call the three E's and that is edification, empathy and energy. So I'm gonna watch the patient and I'm going to edify the doctor, which is star number two.   I'm going to have empathy for what they're going through and not just assume it's run of the mill, just because it's a crown for us, doesn't mean that that might be life altering for our patients. But we're not going to put negativity out there. We're still going to be able to have empathy and positivity for them and help them see that this is the best place for them to get their treatment done and then making sure our energy matches. You guys, I come in really high. I have a lot of energy. So many people are like, Kiera, we want to consult with you because we love your energy and our team needs that. Well, guess what? Our whole team has to have that because this is who I am.   And sometimes you need to have energy and like, need to get too excited on the podcast and I need to rally you. But for some of you, I remember there was a doctor who's like, Kiera, you're like a little much for my team. And my team's more like, hey, how are you? Well, guess what? That team is actually a better fit with Britney Stone. Britney is a much better match energy wise than I am. And so just making sure that we mimic and mirror the patient across from us. So star number one is smile and assume the yes before we even walk into it.   Star number two is we want to rave about the doctor and repeat a perfect handoff. So we want our patients to feel like they're on the winning team. And I think about it, if I'm going in like, I'm going in for surgery. And if that treatment coordinator who's presenting to me, so I've met the doctor, they've diagnosed the treatment to me. Okay, so all that needs to happen before we get to this spot. But the doctor told me, Carrie, you need to come back for surgery. If that front office person that I'm talking to about my financials said to me, gosh Carrie, you're so lucky.   ⁓ Dr. Kressler is absolutely incredible and you're going to get such great care. I've seen him do this surgery multiple times. I know you're in the best hands and truly I'm here to make sure that you're taken care of. We're super excited for you and I know you're going to have great results. Like even me saying that I feel this whoosh of like confidence of OK, got it like I am making the absolute best decision I possibly can. And so this is what we do. So number start number one is smile and assume the S use our three E's. Number two is rave about the doctor. Help them see that we're on the winning team.   and use that perfect hand up. It'd be like, awesome, Kiera, you are so lucky. Dr. Jones is so incredible. He's done this treatment so many times and we're gonna get you taken care of. Dr. Jones wants to see you back for a crown. We need to get you scheduled in about two weeks. We need to do about 30 minutes and we're also gonna get your cleaning scheduled for that. This is gonna be amazing. Doctor is incredible. And then we move to the third star, is schedule the appointment first and give two options. We wanna get the commitment.   So a lot of times treatment coordinators will like come in like, how was your visit today? Meh, I'm at the dentist. Why don't we control this narrative? I'm going to smile like, Hey, it's so great to see. I'm so excited to get you helped out. Dr. Jones is so incredible. You've made a great choice. And I know he's going to take great care of you. We're to get you scheduled for that crown in two weeks. It's going to take us about 30. It's going to take us about an hour and a half. I hope a crown's not 30 minutes. It's going to take us about an hour and a half. And we're also going to get that cleaning scheduled. perfect. First things first, let's get you scheduled.   I've got Monday or Wednesday, which works best for you. That's when Dr. Jones does all of their crowns. I've got Monday or Wednesday, which works best for you. The reason I wanna move right into scheduling is because this is gonna help me get a commitment. And I believe that words are free and we should use them to our advantage. So when I'm going through this, let's just make it very easy for the patient. We smile and assume the yes, we rave about our doctor and talk about our perfect handoff, and then we move right into scheduling. Now the patient might be like, well, I wanna know what this is going to cost. I say, absolutely.   I want you to feel so solid and rock solid confident moving forward. Dr. Jones is extra busy. So we always just make sure we get you on the schedule, make sure we get that appointment set. I'm to go over all the financials. I want you to be super confident with that. But we'll just get you scheduled since the schedule is so busy. I've got Monday or Wednesday, which works best for you. Now, if they push back again, don't stress, talk to them. But this way they're able to see the flow, how we're going to do this. Because for me, what I'm also doing on that is I'm putting emphasis of we are doing treatment. And the question is how we want to pay for it, not the question of are we doing treatment or not.   I'm not forcing a patient, I'm not making them doing it, but sequence does matter when it comes to treatment planning. And you guys, I am a dang good treatment coordinator. 50, 60, $70,000 cases paid in full same day. It is not something that is hard, but it is something that's finesse. And I do believe that it's an art, not a like set in stone science. It's an art, it's a feathering. It's a reading the patient, it's understanding. And I'm giving you guys literally how I do this and how it's worked for so many practices.   practices we've been able to add multiple millions annually by doing this process. So we schedule first, get them scheduled. Then after that, we're going to present the total treatment. So star number four is point to the amount. I don't say it out loud saying 10 grand is very loud and obnoxious and obtrusive. Pointing to it doesn't feel as bad. And I'm going to use the art of silence. So that's star number four in our five-star treatment planning. So once the patient's scheduled, we're gonna present the treatment, all right? So we're gonna go through that crown and that cleaning.   It looks like it's going to be this amount. This is what your insurance is estimated. I'm pointing with my fingers. I go down and your out of pocket total will be blank this when we see you on Wednesday. What questions do you have for me? I want you to be super confident moving forward. And then I zip my lips and I'm silent. And the patient usually will say, perfect. Nope, no questions. I'll see you then. Or they'll say, ⁓ I'm curious about that. Like that was a little bit more than I was thinking. Do you have any options? I promise you they will say that.   But instead of me right here, which is where I think most treatment coordinators and failing goes wrong is when they say, ⁓ my gosh, so do you have questions about financing or do you have any questions about this? One, I don't ever want a patient to say no to me. So I don't ever use the questions of do you want to, or do we want to do this, or do you have questions? I say, what questions do you have for me? Let's get you scheduled, not do you want to schedule? And these are just small little nuances, but if you watch yourself and you listen to yourself and doctors, same thing in your exams.   and clinical team members, same thing when we're back there. We're so obsessed with this like quick, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, I wanna get you in and out versus I want to actually solve, I want to actually schedule patients and I want to actually be thorough with my patients. So what questions do you have? Words are free, use them to your advantage, use the art of silence and don't talk, zip your lips, but people get nervous and they don't want you to break up with them and they don't wanna be rejected so they start talking and they're like, my gosh, we can talk about finances, we can talk about, do you actually wanna just for free?   This is how discounts come about. This is how doctors are like, my gosh, I just gave that, it's a way for free. Stop talking. Let them process and let them ask, what questions do you have for me? I want you super confident moving forward. And I stop and I smile. And I truly do. And I might feel awkward, that's okay. But remember, I'm assuming the yes, they're going to say yes to me. Why wouldn't they say yes to me? And my second mantra is there's always a solution. And we together, me and this patient are going to find it because my job is to make them healthy, happy, and like total full care of health.   So then we go on to star number five, and that is over objections, okay? So objections do come, but objections to me are like, just remember that they need more information. We haven't educated them on something. That's all it is. They're not rejecting you. And so I say, go beyond the no with air quotes two times. And I do it as an S because I just want to find out and I want to dig to the root. I'm not forcing these patients, but 99 % of the time an objection just means I need to educate them more. I need to answer their questions. I haven't filled them in on something and that's all it is.   So we become a word ninja, we go past it, let's find a solution. And then if I've gone past it two times and I've really done my best, then I schedule them on a two, two, follow-up. So I call them in two days, two weeks, two months. So no matter what, they're still gonna talk to me and I'm going to make sure that they get the success. So that's our five star.   And when you start tracking it, we track it as well. We look to see our patterns and it helps our treatment coordinators get better and better. So now you're like, well,   But Kiera, that's great. Now let's talk about the objections. Cause I got my fifth star. My fifth star means I got to go past objections twice. Well, let's talk about some objections. Number one is a lot of people do think about just insurance. So they're like, okay, well, what about insurance? I like to explain that insurance is a coupon. So like just like Kohl's cash or coupons at the store. Well, you still want to buy the carrots, even though they're not on sale. And so what we do is we use our insurance and we maximize every single penny of it. but we also don't want to just wait on insurance and have insurance dictate because it's never going to be cheaper.   or more predictable than it is today. So we wanna make sure that we your treatment taken care of, you're worth it, you deserve it. And we're gonna squeeze every single dang penny out of that insurance company that we can. But we just have to recognize that dental insurance is different than medical insurance. And dental insurance is a coupon, medical insurance, we pay our deductible and they cover everything else. So that's why, and so our job is to help you out with this. We're gonna get you scheduled for this. I've got Monday or Wednesday, which works best. And we're gonna make sure that you're taken care of with that. Schedule.   If they're like, I need to check my work schedule. Fantastic, no problem. I, Kieran, you gotta be careful, use your words. I, Kieran, would hate to forget about you. The truth is, I literally will. I've got like 100 patients coming today. So I would hate to forget about you and let you slip through the cracks. Let's just pop you on the schedule and if that doesn't work when you get home, me a call and I'll happily change it for you. That's it. Then you're like, okay. If I say, oh John, I would hate for you to forget about this, he'll be like, I'm not gonna forget. But if I'm like, oh, I would hate to forget about you, patient's like, yeah.   Don't forget about me, Keir, put me on that schedule. It's all about psychology and making these patients feel like VIPs. I truly believe our patients are VIPs. I love them so much and I want them to get the best dental care possible. So that's what I'm gonna do for schedule or for work. Now if it's cost, I remind them and truth be told, it will never be cheaper or more predictable than it is today. So let's get you scheduled, let's figure this out, let's work through the solutions. I have so many solutions with you. Like let's work through it. What solutions do you have? Like this didn't happen overnight, we don't have to solve it overnight.   We do need to get going on it so it doesn't get worse. We present the other side of the problem. This is what happens if we choose to wait. And I just want you to know your options, you're worth it. Let's get this taken care of. There's always ways that we can work on cost. You guys, there's thousands of ways. We can do less treatment. We can split it up. We can do layaway, whatever your practices processes are. But usually it's not cost. Usually it's fear. And I'll say, let's talk about it. Do we have savings or do we wanna talk about third party financing?   I'm not gonna give them care credit to go home and apply for. Let's just apply right now. Let's find out what our options are. Let's see what we've got here that we were able to find out. And then like, I don't want you to have to go home and make this hard. Let's make this easy to where you feel confident and we're able to find the solution for you.   How many times do we actually spend the time to do that? To me, that's VIP care. I can't tell you how many times I've watched treatment coordinators like, here's the application, go home and do it. Well, guess what? They're not. That's hard. Let's make this easy for them. Let's find the easiest way for them to say, yes, that's VIP customer service. And I know you might be like, here, I'm so busy. Guess what? This is the fastest, easiest way to fill your schedule. How many of you want to make phone calls to fill that schedule? I don't. I'd much rather sit here and do five minutes of care credit with you rather than chasing you down, trying to do care credit, figuring it out. That's way harder.   Choose our heart here. And then spouse. Spouse like, need to talk to my spouse. Absolutely. I 100 % want you to chat with your spouse. What questions you think that they'll have? I want to make sure that you're fully prepared and confident to answer those. Well, I think they'll want to know about costs. I think they'll want to know about the... They'll tell you. They will tell you. Or if they're like, oh no, I'm like, hey, I really hate to try and like relay things to my spouse that I don't know about. I'm happy to get them on a phone call so that way we can talk about this openly. I'm here as a resource for you.   more than happy to do that with you. Now there's two ways you can do this. There's pressure or there's like confidence of I'm genuinely wanting to help you out. And truth be told, like I know this is so much easier. I think in all of treatment planning, I'm thinking how's the easiest way for this patient to say yes. How's the easiest way for me to help them. And this is where we're going to go. These are how I'm going to go past these objections. And I think for so many of us, we just want to like one and done. I did my job, check the box versus like it's outcomes over activity.   my outcome, I'm trying to get as many patients scheduled as possible, not the activity of I presented treatment plans. It's very different. So if I know my goal is not just to present treatment plans, my goal is to have like 80 % success. Well, then I'm going to look at this and I'm going to work through this and I'm going to check off all five stars and I'm going to become an expert. But realizing that I have to continually improve on treatment planning is going to be a great piece for you.   So this is the five-star treatment planning. And like I said, we have it for every single position. This was more of a front office. We have it for doctors. We have it for clinical team members, but this is a great way for you guys to increase your case acceptance, help more patients. And remember, 80 % of treatment planning is psychology, 20 % skill. So when we go through this, I think this is going to really be able to help you guys, guide you guys. And I know it will because I've done it for so many practices. So let's do it for yours. And if you need help, there are practices where we literally just do treatment planning consultations.   We consult them, we work with the front office team members, and what we do is we listen to the treatment plans, we help them out. And I've done this with many offices for multiple years. And it's crazy because in those practices, they're like, what happened? You guys also became like so successful and people were noticing that. And they're like, well, it all started when we hired this consultant and they've added multiple millions, but dollars are nice. Lives changed is better. And how many lives have we been able to help? How many people we've been able to help?   because we chose to be word ninjas, we chose to use our words to the best of our ability. We chose to listen and to see and to look at the results we're getting and change our processes and not be so set and like, well, this is what I do. I tell everyone that we coach, I don't actually care. There's no script. Like, yes, you guys can have this email us. Hello@TheDentalATeam.com   But more than that, what I care about is that you're able to help these patients and that we get the outcomes, the results. We're after results. We're not after the task. So if your results are crushing it,   You don't need to change anything, but if they're not and we're not getting the results we want, then change. And I would hope that you and your practice take on that none of us are perfect. All of us are here to expand, to grow, to evolve. And that's what we're here to do. We're here to help and serve more patients. So reach out if we can help you guys. Hello@TheDentalATeam.com. Go implement this, go change more people's lives, go become treatment planning masters. And as always, thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team podcast.  

Is your marriage feeling tense, distant, or suffocating? It might come down to one thing — safety. In this Marriage Moment, Nick and Hailey unpack why emotional safety is the foundation of true intimacy, and how fear quietly drives couples apart. Drawing from 1 John 4:18 and their own real, raw experiences, they share how creating a safe space for your spouse starts with your own healing journey with God. Short, powerful, and practical — this one will make you think differently about how you show up for your spouse.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before we jump in, quick time out... This episode is not meant to become ammo in your next relationship debate. It's not for a husband to say, “See? This is what I've been telling you,” or for a wife to respond with, “Finally, someone said it.” That's not the heart behind this conversation.The goal here is to think differently about roles, responsibility, and how we show up for each other. It's about being open to feedback, owning our part, and building stronger partnerships... not keeping score. If this sparks a conversation at home, great. Just make sure it's a healthy one. Five Key Insights From This Conversation:This Isn't About Winning, It's About Owning Your Part - The goal isn't to weaponize the conversation. It's not “Here's what you need to fix.” It's “Where can I show up better?” Healthy relationships grow when both people focus on ownership, not scorekeeping. Roles Are About Responsibility, Not Hierarchy - Having a role doesn't mean superiority. It means stewardship. Leadership in the home isn't control. It's service. Creating space for leadership isn't shrinking, it's partnership.You Don't Get the Role Automatically, You Earn It - Just being a husband doesn't mean you're leading well. Leadership is built through initiative, consistency, and service. If you want to feel necessary, you have to show up in a way that makes you reliable and trustworthy. How Feedback Is Delivered and Received Changes Everything - Most conflict isn't about the issue itself — it's about how it's communicated. Defensiveness shuts growth down. Curiosity opens it up. Instead of reacting, try: “Help me understand what you mean.” That shift alone can change the tone of a marriage.Respect and Love Land Differently and That Matters - Men and women often experience connection differently. Many men feel loved when they feel trusted and respected. Many women feel secure when they feel emotionally supported and prioritized. Neither is wrong. But ignoring those differences creates drift. One TruthYou can't demand a better role in your relationship. You have to become someone worth trusting with it.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Valentine's Day is meant to feel romantic, but for many couples, it brings pressure, disappointment, or silence. In this episode, we share a simple three-conversation framework to help you design Valentine's Day (or any special holiday) with clarity instead of guessing…before, during, and after the day itself. If you're ready to trade dread and over-functioning for intentional connection, this conversation will show you how to create a Valentine's Day that actually brings you closer._______

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “The Power of Prayer” with a discussion with Jill Savage about how to pray for your spouse and the importance of transparent intimacy in marriage. Jill is an author, blogger, and intentional speaker. She is also the founder and CEO of Hearts of Home. Jill also hosts the No More Perfect podcast. She is also the author of many books, including No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together. Then we had Jon Gauger join us to discuss the impact of Neighborhood Prayer walks and how they bridge communities. Jon is a 30-year veteran of Moody Radio and hosts several nationally syndicated programs. He is also an award-winning narrator of more than 50 audiobooks. Jon also has a weekly blog called Thursday Thought. Then we turned to the phone lines to ask listeners, “What truth in scripture had God convicted you to obey and apply to your life?” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Caller Segment [08:49] Jill Savage Interview [20:22] Jon Gauger Interview [37:03] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of The Catholic Money Show, Jonathan and Amanda tackle one of the most common (and emotionally charged) issues in marriage: how to talk about money with your spouse without starting a couples war. Drawing from their own early money struggles and years of coaching Catholic couples, they unpack why these fights happen and how to prevent them.In this episode:Why wives are usually the ones pushing for financial change (and why husbands resist)How temperament (sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic) affects money fightsThe importance of assuming good intent and choosing the right momentWhy a shared vision does more heavy lifting than any budget conversationHow to take one small step this week toward financial onenessShownotes & Resources

Jim Talent, Former US Senator from Missouri joins to discuss Iran and the US, if an alliance could threaten the US and more. Ethan has sports and more. plus X's and Y's ask about pockets and re-marry.

 How To Talk To Your Spouse About Problems Without Starting A Fight When every attempt to bring up a problem turns into defensiveness, arguing, or shutdown, it's easy to stop trying or to push harder and make things worse. Common “clear communication” tactics can backfire in a strained relationship because they feel like criticism or control, even when they're meant to help. In this episode, Coach Jack explains a calmer, more effective way to raise issues while protecting emotional connection and increasing cooperation over time.What You'll LearnHow to bring up a problem in a way that reduces defensiveness and keeps your spouse emotionally engagedHow to prepare the relationship so requests land better and don't trigger a fightHow to choose the right timing and wording so the conversation feels natural instead of threateningHow to use a simple win-win method (and a Plan B) so problems actually get solved instead of repeatedWant to Work With Coach Jack?If you want step-by-step help applying this approach to your specific situation, Coach Jack can help you build healthier connection, improve communication, and address hard issues without escalating conflict. The best starting point is the Difficult Partner Coaching Package, which focuses on ending a spouse's damaging behavior and building respect.Key TakeawaysDirect “I statements” can still trigger defensiveness when the relationship is strained.Strengthening everyday connection often needs to happen before problem talks.Talk about problems when both of you are relaxed, not while the issue is happening.Lead with validation and keep the conversation natural and low-pressure.Solve one issue at a time using a win-win plan, and use boundaries when discussion won't work.Additional ResourcesOvercome Neediness and Get the Love You Want, by Jack Ito PhDConnecting Through "Yes!" by Jack Ito PhDLove Language Quiz12 Ways  to Revive Your Love for Your SpouseWork one-on-one with Coach Jack to repair your relationship using small, easy steps that rebuild connection quickly. Visit CoachJackIto.com to learn more about relationship coaching.

We all know that anxiety can take a big toll on the person who is personally suffering from it. But what we don't talk about as often is how anxiety can take a toll on a marriage. The truth is, this challenging mental condition can often cause fear, exhaustion, and a sense of isolation that leaves both spouses wondering how to support one another or stay connected.If you and your spouse are navigating anxiety, this conversation with Dr. Michelle Bengtson offers encouragement and practical wisdom.Dr. Bengtson is a clinical neuropsychologist who understands anxiety both professionally and personally. She has endured anxiety and depression herself, and her book, Breaking Anxiety's Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises, became an unexpected guide during her own season of fearful thoughts as she and her husband faced cancer and all the accompanying unknowns.In this episode, Dr. Bengtson shares both clinical insight and spiritual wisdom to help couples navigate anxiety's impact on their relationship. While anxiety can feel lonely and overwhelming for both partners, there is hope.In this episode, Dr. Bengtson shares:How couples can draw closer to one another, even in the midst of anxietyWhy presence matters more than perfectionHow to prevent compassion fatigue and caregiver burnoutAnd much more!We hope you enjoy this conversation!Show Notes: growinghometogether.com/michelle-bengtson-124

In this sober and pastoral response, Pastor Mike addresses a serious and sensitive question: whether pinning a spouse down on a bed constitutes physical assault, and what steps should follow. He explains that assault is still assault regardless of apologies, while also emphasizing the importance of repentance, safety, and discernment. Pastor Mike discusses the biblical role of government in addressing wrongdoing (Romans 13), the difference between repentance and legal accountability, and the wisdom of involving pastors, trusted family members, and—when necessary—law enforcement. This answer prioritizes personal safety, biblical clarity, and practical wisdom for navigating domestic violence concerns within marriage.Text ASK to 90398 to ask Pastor Mike a Bible Question.Text GOLIVE to 90398 to be notified when ASK Pastor Mike is LIVE.Find more ways to learn your Bible at https://focalpointministries.org/Have a Bible Question? Ask Pastor Mike! https://focalpointministries.org/ask-pm/ To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.lightsource.com/donate/865/29

Watch Pastor Mike Fabarez from Ask Pastor Mike Live To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.lightsource.com/donate/865/29

*Disclaimer* This episode contains adult content and is not recommended for young listeners.   284. DON'T MISS THIS! Controversial Sex Questions, Answered with Dr. Juli Slattery   1 Samuel 24:19b NIV “May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today.”   *Transcription Below*   Bio: Instagram Facebook Authentic Intimacy Website Java with Juli Podcast   Thank you to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Questions and Topics We Cover: As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? If one part of Scripture talks about turning the other cheek, is that the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage? Is it reasonable to assume that once they have a smartphone, 100% of kids will be exposed to pornography?   Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, Including Past Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen  Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna  Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns  Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 222 Pornography: Protecting Children and Personal Healing, Victory, and Recovery in Christ with Sam Black Special Patreon Release: Holy Sex: An Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery Special Patreon Release: His Desires and Her Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn 252 Maximizing Sexual Connections as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner 260 Sex After Cancer with Dr. Kris Christiansen 277 Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:11 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 – 2:21) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   My returning guest for today is Dr. Juli Slattery.   She has authored another book entitled Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything, and we're going to cover a few themes from this book, but I think what you're going to find most helpful are her candid responses to some really tricky questions related to dating and pornography, technology, thought life, shows that we watch as believers, divorce, and just intimacy in general as married couples.   So, I think this is an episode that you're going to want to learn from yourself, but you'll also want to share with others because Dr. Juli has offered us such a gift as she directs us back to the heart issues and wisely guides us into sexual integrity in our own lives.   Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:21 – 2:21) Thanks so much for having me back. It's always a joy.   Laura Dugger: (2:21 – 2:22) Well, I love that you've been a repeat guest many times. So, we get to just dive right in today because I'm going to link all of your previous episodes in the show notes. But to dive in, I'm just curious, as believers, where does your heart break as you see us compromising on God's design for sex?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:22 – 3:31) Hmm. That's such a good question. You know, I think my heart breaks the most in that when we compromise God's design for sexuality, or even when we don't understand it or understand His goodness, it means that there is a breach in our relationship with God.   And so, I am so passionate about what I do, not necessarily because I love talking about sexuality, but because for a lot of people, sexuality represents a wall between them and God, like an issue they can't resolve, or a place of shame that they just can't quite shake free from, or battle with sin that they feel like they're enslaved to. And so, those things mean that there's a limit to how much they invite God into their lives.   And so, for me, that's where my heart breaks the most is, you know, ultimately, we were created for the greatest fellowship with God and anything that gets in the way of that is something that God cares about and something that I care about.   Laura Dugger: (3:32 – 4:03) You say that well, and you've written many books, but in this most recent one, you plainly state one issue when you write, “You will not be able to obey God with your sexual thoughts, while binging shows and music that continually display the exact opposite.”   And I love how practical that is. So, Juli, why do you think this has become so normalized? And I would say, especially in Christian marriages.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (4:05 – 5:58) Yeah, you know, I think a lot of it is that the church has been historically really quiet about sexuality, you know, like we might talk about save sex for marriage, and don't cheat on your husband and that sort of thing. But the gray areas about how we think about our sexuality and kind of what we have the liberty and freedom to engage in, there's kind of silence, or maybe there's legalism.   And I think in that space, what ends up happening is the culture is so forthright with a message about sexuality, like woven throughout every single show that you could stream on any platform, you know, your music on Spotify, even the news you consume, the Instagram feeds, whatever, it's consistently showing you a way to understand sexuality that is contrary to God's design, and the messaging can be so subtle, or so repetitive that we don't even realize we're ingesting it.   And so, it's normal to talk about with your friends, like the latest season of The Bachelor, or, you know, the latest thing that you're streaming that if you really look at it, there's probably 100 references to sexuality that are outside of God's design. And so, we end up just having our mind conformed to this world.   And the scripture says really clearly in Romans 12, that we can't offer ourselves to God while we're still thinking like the world thinks that it requires an act of transformation of our thinking. And I don't know that there's anywhere more than we need this than in the topic of understanding our sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (6:00 – 6:59) Okay, so for I'm thinking of married couples, because I was recently at a wedding shower. And I love a friend from church. Her name is Dawn Karius. And she was giving the devotional and just sharing. You know, it's very easy to get married and fall into this trap. She was talking about what you watch specifically.   And she said, so many couples will watch something together, watch a show before bed, but be really intentional. If that is what you choose to do, then the shows that you're watching, even though you're with your spouse, is that drawing both of you closer to Christ? Because if it's pulling you further away from Christ, it's also pulling you away from one another.   And so, with all of that, and with what you've studied and written about, if a couple's hearing that and or some single person just hearing this, what would be your practical advice or encouragement for them?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (7:00 – 9:29) Yeah, some of it is, we can't live in a bubble. You know, it's, I think that there are some couples will have the conviction that, you know, we're just going to get rid of all of our devices, we're going to get rid of every streaming service. And there's nothing wrong with that decision, you might feel convicted to do that.   But for most couples, I would say, they're like, okay, we live in this world, we need to understand even the world we live in. And so, it's not like we're going to completely be cut off. But are we being discerning about what we consume?   And what are the standards that we might hit where we might just say, “You know what, we don't need to be watching this.” You know, like I can think of one show in particularly that my husband and I were watching. And it was a well-written show. It was exciting. But there was just so much profanity and just gross kind of sexual content that after two or three episodes, we're both just like, “You know what, as good as the show is, we just, this isn't, we're not watching this. Like we need to stop.”   And I think you need to have those discussions and you might have a different level of conviction than your spouse does. And that's okay, but at least have those conversations and you need to follow your conviction.   But then the other thing I would say that is equally important, if not more important, what are you consuming that helps you get God's perspective of sexuality? And what I've found is that a whole lot of Christian married couples know very little about what it looks like to build a healthy sex life in their marriage. And they're not consuming anything that helps them know how to love each other better, how to overcome differences, even how their bodies work, how to focus on one another and enjoy sex in a holy erotic way.   And so, even if you're watching and consuming very little content from the world, but you're not actively pursuing anything that gives you a biblical perspective, you're still going to end up defaulting to what the world says. And so, I think that again, it's equally as important or not, if not more important to be pursuing what's true and what's right and what's good.   Laura Dugger: (9:31 – 9:53) I love that, how you flipped it. And that discernment piece is huge because we don't want to be desensitized to then that we're consuming and we also want to feed on the good. So, I think it even leads to a broader question, again, as Christ followers, how can we recognize if our conscience is being pricked?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (9:54 – 12:05) Yeah, we can start by asking the Lord. You know, I mean, I think it's in, is it Psalm 139, where, you know, David is basically saying, “Search me, oh God, and know my thoughts, you know, show me if there's any offensive way within me.”   I think that's a beautiful prayer as an individual and as a couple, like God, we want to honor you with what we consume in media, with what we think about, would you guide us and would you show us? And then I think we all have that experience of watching something or listening to something or reading something where we're like, “Uh, I don't know, like, this is sort of a gray area. Like, I'm uncomfortable here. I probably shouldn't be watching this.” Or “Wow, that's really, that's really in your face. Like that's really graphic.”   And it's heeding the Holy Spirit when you get those prompts, instead of just pushing through and being like, “Ah, it's not that big of a deal. It's not going to affect me.” Like when you feel that sense of prompting, you respond to it and you say, “All right, I'm going to put this down. I'm going to shut this off.”   And, um, you know, the scripture says that we can become callous to those promptings of the Holy Spirit if we are in a habit of just running right through that. But we become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit when we yield and when we obey.   Um, and so, I think even just keeping track, you know, every day or every week, like where were the times regarding this or anything else that I really felt convicted by the Holy Spirit about maybe something I said about a friend, uh, or about a little white lie I told, you know, where were the times where I really felt the Holy Spirit nudging me and what did I do? Um, where do I need to confess that I didn't respond well? And where do I need to celebrate that? Yes, I listened, I obeyed, I yielded. Um, and so, I think that's a practice we get into of either ignoring that conviction or really yielding to it.   Laura Dugger: (12:06 – 12:28) Hmm. And that gets after the heart issue, which Jesus is so concerned about our heart. And that's a very softened heart approach. Yes. I hope we can have. And as it relates to sexual integrity, then what are some other ways that we need to be on guard so that we're careful not to be misled?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (12:29 – 13:37) Yeah, boy, I think there's just so much conversation. Um, again, even in Christian circles, sometimes around having a negative attitude towards sex, um, kind of accepting some forms of pornography as normal and even good, you know, husband bashing, wife bashing, you know, like complaining, kind of letting the thought feed in your mind of maybe I should have married somebody else.   Maybe that my life would be easier if I, I weren't married to this person. I wish they were this or that. So, sort of that discontent that is natural to feel in marriage. But the question is, what do you do with it? Do you give it space to grow and to nurture, or do you bring that before the Lord?   Um, so, I think those are some of the ways that we want to look at, like, how am I giving the enemy space in my life and in my marriage versus how am I inviting God to really reclaim what's broken here?   Laura Dugger: (13:38 – 14:01) Well, and then even thinking of the other side to guard ourselves from having a critical and judgmental spirit toward others or just having self-righteous pride. Can you educate us on some common reasons why some people may be predisposed to struggle with some certain sexual sins?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (14:02 – 17:20) Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important, um, because the research really shows that some of us are more, I don't know if I'd say it that way, but we are going to be more predetermined maybe to struggle with things like pornography or same-sex attraction, or even hooking up.   And it's never like a one plus one equals two exactly. But there are what we might say indicators or risk factors that make you more vulnerable to those kinds of sexual struggles. And some of them might be unhealthy family dynamics growing up, you know, none of us had a perfect family, but let's say you grew up in a family where one of your parents was like overtly critical towards you all the time.   Maybe you went through a divorce with your parents where, um, you know, at a certain age, you just, your family fell apart and you're kind of looking for that stability and love. People who have experienced sexual trauma in childhood or the teen years are going to be more pre-dispositioned to want to understand that or act that out.   People who might struggle with anxiety. And, you know, some of it is we got to understand that sex, because it elicits dopamine in our brain and oxytocin and endorphins, which are all really feel good kind of experiences and hormones and neurotransmitters. When we had a sexual experience at a young age, our brain can learn, “Oh, this is how I deal with stress. This is how I deal with depression. This is how I deal with loneliness.”   So, a lot of times when you talk to somebody who has an ongoing struggle with a sexual temptation or sin, it's because they've learned as a pattern from maybe the time they were 10 years old or 12 years old or 15 years old, that this is how I dealt with the stress in my family. This is how I dealt with when my father died. This is how I dealt with when I was sexually abused. Like this was the way that I found to self-regulate and to self-medicate and to find comfort.   And that can be masturbation. It can be pornography or again, you know, acting out sexually. And so, for people who have that kind of story, and this might be your spouse, or this might be against somebody that you're looking at and judging to just say, “You need to stop that behavior,” is often not going to be enough. They need to do the work of really looking at what am I using sex for? What are the wounds that I'm using sex to cover up?   And how do I actually get the healing I need and find healthier and safer ways for me to cope with negative emotions? And that's why groups are really important for people who have sexual struggles. Counseling is really important. And again, that long journey of healing and freedom, not just a one-time decision that I'm going to try to never do this again.   Laura Dugger: (17:21 – 20:19) Love that word freedom, even because that hope is available. And just pointing out how you said this is not deterministic. That's not what we're saying is if you experience something, you will act out sexually. But I agree with you that it is fascinating and helpful to hear the correlation of certain things that happen, especially in childhood, and how that plays out long-term.   And I am blanking on which guest it was on The Savvy Sauce, but somebody was enlightening me. I think it was for females that if they were sexually abused, typically before a certain age, then they were more likely to struggle in marriage with wanting to completely avoid sex. But then if it was after a certain age, that it was completely opposite where they maybe used sex to medicate, or they were very aggressive and even would act out, let's say in single years, that they would sleep around with a bunch of partners if they had been wounded.   And so, I just think it just, it helps us to not be judgmental of one another. We don't know the full story.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (20:20 – 21:09) Yes. Yeah. There's always more there than we usually realize at first. And, you know, this plays out a lot in marriage because there are a lot of women who are married to guys who are addicted to pornography. And that's a deeply painful dynamic. That's really hard.   But to understand that your husband didn't want to have this struggle, often doesn't know how to get out of it, you know, gives you compassion. It doesn't mean that you look the other way, you need to get help, and you need to insist on getting help. But it does give you empathy and compassion that there's something underlying this and feeding it. It's not just, “Oh, I think I'm going to, you know, look at porn and hurt my wife again,” that there's always a deeper dynamic at work.   Laura Dugger: (21:10 – 21:50) Absolutely. And even an example from your book, I'll just read a quote where you said, “I spoke with a man who runs a sexual addiction program. He told me he had never met someone with sexual addiction, who did not also have significant sexual or psychological trauma in their past.”   And I think it goes along with what we're saying. But if we also then flip it and look at more of the positive side, how can we rightly prioritize connection and intimacy in marriage as God intended?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (21:53 – 24:24) I think first of all, we need to be convinced that this is worth it. You know, when we look at everything there is to do in life, there's so many worthy demands on our time. You know, from I want my house to look nice, and we need to make friends and we need to be an outreach to our community. And our kids are taking a lot of time and they should, and they've got all their activities and our church needs our help. Like when do you have time to do all this? And then, oh yeah, prioritize your marriage.   And I think we have to become convinced that if we're not working on our marriage, and specifically if we're not working on the sexual connection in marriage, then all those other things have the potential to fall apart. That the way I've learned it over time is that sex is never going to be a neutral issue in your marriage. It's either going to be something that is bonding you together and causing you to work on the deeper levels of intimacy, even as you talk through sexual difficulties, or it's going to be something not immediately, but over time, that becomes a wedge between you.   It might start as a wedge of resentment of my needs aren't getting met, or I feel like you're objectifying me or you're putting pressure on me. Or it might be a deeper wedge of a pornography addiction or something that's not being addressed. Or I don't trust my husband because of my trauma. And those things don't just stay dormant. The wedge becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until you get to the place where now you're not comfortable being in the same room anymore and you feel like roommates. And then now one of you is attracted to somebody else and the story plays on.   And there are very wonderful godly men and women who have gotten married with every purpose to stay together. But a wedge like this has grown over time to the point where they're now thinking about divorce or one of them has cheated on the other. And so, we have to be convinced that honoring God in our lives means prioritizing our marriage, and it means working on this intimate aspect of our marriage so that we can be a stable foundation for our families and our churches and our communities.   Laura Dugger: (24:26 – 24:39) And so, if we're getting as practical as possible, what are the best practices that you've seen in married couples who are happily married? How have you experienced that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (24:40 – 28:04) Yeah. I'll put it in kind of like a cliche sort of way because I think sometimes that's catchy. Number one, I would say they're couples who will resist the drift, who will repair the rift, and who will adjust to the shift.   So, I can kind of break that down a little bit. But you know, the first thing is resisting the drift of you can go weeks without meaningfully connecting with your spouse. And I don't just mean sexually, but I mean like eye to eye, you know, just loving touch, just connecting to their hearts. And so, couples who know how to resist that drift, like they have regular times built into their calendar where this is where we connect every day. Like even for 10 minutes, this is where we hold each other's hands, we look at each other in the eye, we really connect with what's in your heart, how are you? And they have regular rhythms of once a week or once every other week, we're going to go out and do something fun together, just the two of us. We've worked through what sex looks like in this season. Like how many times do we want to have sex? Are we scheduling that? How are we making sure that's a priority? And so, that's the resisting the drift.   And the second one is repairing the rift. And at every marriage, there are going to be things that tear you apart. And sometimes those things might be sexual in nature, like a temptation, an emotional affair, pornography use, sometimes it's going to be something else where you have a deep disagreement that you can't resolve on your own. And you need to be courageous enough to reach out for help and say, like, if we don't get help, if we don't address this issue, like it's going to become something that tears us apart. Any couple that you meet who is happily married for like 30 years or more, they can tell you a story of when they had a rift, and the kind of help that really address that.   And then I think the third thing is adjusting to the shift. And in even the normal stages of marriage, there are shifts that happen. Like, you know, I'm in the stage right now where me and the people my age are going through biological changes with menopause and with aging. And, you know, some people are going through becoming grandparents and retirement. And there's all these shifts that are happening even naturally. There's other couples that are younger who are going through the shift of pregnancy and battling infertility. And some people are going through cancer. And there are things that happen that require you to shift your expectations. And to not just wish that it is like it used to be. But this is the marriage we have now. Here are the circumstances we have now. Here are the bodies we have now. How do we learn to love each other and embrace this season, given the changes that we're experiencing?   And so, I think that's a framework that I've seen healthy couples navigate over time that really fosters intimacy.   Laura Dugger: (28:05 – 29:29) That is incredible. I love how you put that. And I've shared with you before that my background is in Christian sex therapy. So, sex is a topic that does come up a lot and people feel comfortable sharing or asking questions. So, just in regular conversation, I want to recap two conversations that kind of show stances on both ends of the spectrum. And I'd love to hear your wisdom on how to respond to each one.   So, first, there was a Christian married woman with children, and she was teaching younger women to say yes to every single sexual advance from their husband. And she said, “If your husband has the higher drive, and he wants to have sex twice a day, then consider yourself lucky. And don't ever say no, because your body is not your own.” Yeah, it's hard to recap. So, this is not my perspective. So, sharing both ends.   So, that was one person. And then on the other end, I've heard a woman tell me, “You know, I just didn't feel like having sex for about a year and a half after we had our baby. So, I just told my husband, you're going to have to wait.”   So, loaded question, but Dr. Juli, how would you respond to each of those?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (29:29 – 32:31) Well, Laura, I feel like you probably would have just as good of response as I would to those. Yeah, I like that you're presenting those as two extremes, because they are two extremes. And I think both extremes kind of miss the heart. We want to be able to say yes to sex and intimacy. And being able to say yes means also being able to say no.   In that first situation, essentially, what is going to end up happening is that that wife is going to start feeling like my husband wants me for sex. And I don't have the capacity to enjoy it twice a day. I'm starting to feel like an object or used. And the husband is never going to learn that covenant love requires self-denial. And at every level, you know, what did, what did Paul say to husbands in Ephesians 5, like love your wife as you love your own body and be willing to lay down your, your life for your wife. And that means being sensitive to the fact that she doesn't have the same sexual appetite as you do. She doesn't have the same biology you do, that it actually can be physically painful, emotionally traumatic for a wife to have sex when she's not physically ready. Really, that couple is not working on intimacy. They're, they're kind of reinforcing a pattern that sex is about the husband getting his needs and desires met only through the wife without considering her. And that might work for short term, but that's not building intimacy in the long term. And it's not teaching either of them. And that wife needs to learn her own sexual desires and patterns and be able to communicate those to her husband. So, that's what I would say in that first one.   And the second one, essentially, you have a wife kind of having that more selfish perspective of, I only have sex when I want it and on my terms, instead of considering the husband. And, you know, how do I focus on him? How do I work on experiencing sexual desire? How do I foster that? Because it's important for my husband, it's important for our marriage. And I don't want to be selfish.   And so, I think both of those situations are kind of approaching sex where one person gets to be selfish, and the other person has to sacrifice. That's ministry, that's not intimacy. And so, we really want to be at a place where both of us, the higher desire one and the lower desire one, are learning what does it look like to really love well, to love sacrificially and to communicate the ways that I feel loved. I don't know, what would you add to that or change?   Laura Dugger: (32:31 – 33:11) That's why I asked you, you said that beautifully, better than I could have responded. And again, you're getting back to the heart of it and pointing us back to Jesus with each answer. And, you know, commonly people do struggle with having a safe place where they can ask candid questions about sex.   So, I am going to throw some more at you. And some of these are ones that you wrote about. But just to give us a little taste, even of the book, or if somebody has a burning question like this, I'd love your healthy response.   So, how do you respond when people ask, “How far is too far to go in a dating relationship?”   Dr. Juli Slattery: (33:14 – 36:32) Yeah, I think people are looking for a line, you know, like, as long as I don't cross this line, are we good? And of course, I think their traditional line would be as long as you're not having intercourse. But I think that misses the larger context of the purpose of sex. I've had to be convicted of this in my own life. And we talked very early in our conversation about how we've just sort of ingested messages from the culture. And the culture says that healthy sexuality is an expression of how I feel, right? So, so if I feel safe with you, if I feel romantically connected to you, if I feel sexually attracted to you, then it would be healthy for me to engage sexually with you. And then Christians would come and say, yes, but as long as you don't cross this line. So, that's sort of the narrative that I think a lot of us have heard in the church.   But if we look at, from a biblical perspective, God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. Okay, let that sink in for a minute. God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. He designed it to be a seal and a celebration of covenant, of the choice that a man and a woman make to covenant their lives to one another. And for them to say, just like I give you my whole life, I promise faithfulness to you. I promise that we are becoming one as a family. We have now a physical way to symbolize that in becoming one with our bodies. And so, even if I feel romantically attached to somebody I'm not married to, I don't act on that. Or even if I don't feel romantically attached to my husband, we work on our sex life because we're in covenant.   And so, when you begin to understand sex from that standpoint, you answer that question differently of how far can I go? Why are you sharing your body with another person when you haven't shared your life with them? And, you know, I think that the standard is not legalistic, but the heart of the question is a lot, that's a harder question. You know, like it says, and I think 2 Thessalonians or 1 Thessalonians, you know, Paul says, the will of God is that you do not engage in sexual immorality. Don't take advantage of a brother or sister.   And how many times in dating relationships do you look back and you're like, “Wow, I gave too much of myself to that person or I took too much of myself from that person. Like we engaged in things that now we're broken apart. Like I wish I could take back.” And so, what does it look like to honor each other? What does it look like to honor the Lord? So, I think those kinds of questions help you get to the heart of how do we steward dating relationships a lot better than looking for a line we're not supposed to cross.   Laura Dugger: (36:33 – 37:31) When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast? Did a friend share it with you? Will you be willing to be that friend now and text five other friends or post on your socials anything about The Savvy Sauce that you love? If you share your favorite episodes, that is how we continue to expand our reach and get the good news of Jesus Christ in more ears across the world.   So, we need your help.   Another way to help us grow is to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Each of these suggestions will cost you less than a minute, but it will be a great benefit to us. Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you.   As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? So, how would you respond to that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (37:32 – 39:20) Boy, this is a hot topic. There are people who have really strong opinions on this. You're saying, do I use a friend's preferred names and pronouns?   And I think the fact that you have a friendship means that you can have a deeper conversation about the meaning of the names and pronouns. And I think that deeper conversation needs to happen. Because, you know, ultimately we don't like, we don't want to just say, “Oh yeah, whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. Truth doesn't matter.” But on the other hand, we really want to get to the spiritual issue underneath this. And there's a, there's a big difference between somebody who doesn't know the Lord, doesn't know where you stand on any of this, and somebody that you can engage in a conversation with and seek wisdom on.   I think there, there's probably more latitude to use somebody's preferred name than pronouns. And I think in friendships, sometimes you can work that through and just say, you know, “Hey, I love you. I understand where you're coming from. I'm going to try my best to use the name that you're asking. But the pronoun is something that I'm not comfortable with. And here's why. And just like I'm, I want to understand where you are. I hope that you would have grace and understand where I am.” So, in a friendship, you're able to have those kinds of conversations. Whereas if it's a coworker or it's a stranger or a neighbor, sometimes we can't have that level of conversation. And so, I, we might choose to handle the situation a little differently.   Laura Dugger: (39:21 – 39:36) That's good. A hundred percent truth, a hundred percent love or kindness. And what if somebody asks, how much attention should we be giving these secondary issues as believers?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (39:39 – 41:03) Boy, I, I think first of all, the secondary issues come out of the primary issues. So, the primary issue, and you know, the issue I wrote Surrendered Sexuality is about is if my life belongs to the Lord, then my whole life needs to belong to Him, including how I think about cultural issues, including how I treat my neighbor.   And so, I don't see them as secondary issues. I see them as an outgrowth of the primary issue. I think when they become secondary issues are when we argue with other believers about it and it becomes the most important thing. Like I put you in a category based on, will you use preferred names and pronouns? And then I think we're missing what God calls us to.   The primary issue is that we want to honor God and we want to love each other. And so, let's keep going back to that primary issue. How do I love my neighbor well? How do I honor God's truth well? How do I pursue unity within the body of Christ well, as we're navigating some of these secondary issues? So, you know, like if we're going back to the primary issue, it means that we have to talk about the secondary issues, but we talk about them in light of what's primary.   Laura Dugger: (41:04 – 41:17) I like that. And I just have three more of these kind of tricky questions. So, another one, does pornography addiction qualify as reasons for a biblical divorce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (41:20 – 42:50) I would say, first of all, technically, if we look at the word for sexual immorality in the scripture, which is porneia, we would say, yeah, you know, pornography does qualify for that.   But for the person who's asking this, maybe the woman who's asking this, I would say, why do you want to get out of the marriage? And what Jesus said is Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart. And I think a more important question is where's your heart and where's your husband's heart? Because I've seen people with pornography addictions who have really open hearts towards healing, and they're willing to get the help that they need. They're repentant. They're willing to do the work. They're willing to go through even a time of separation to show that they're serious about that work.   And then there are people who have very hard hearts of, “This is who I am. I might go through the motions, but I'm really not interested in change.” And so, I think the pornography addiction is less the issue than the posture of the person's heart and their willingness to work. And if your spouse is willing to work, then I think it's on us to have soft hearts too, and to be open to the work that God can do.   Laura Dugger: (42:51 – 43:34) That's good because saying you have to zoom out and see more of the story in that stance, because that's very different. Somebody who's working on it and hates the struggle and is wanting to break free versus being married to a narcissist who is abusing you and treating you in a certain way and addicted to pornography. So, you point out well that all of these questions have more to them.   Okay. So, two more, if a spouse has had an emotional affair in the past with a coworker, but they still work with this person, what is the wise thing to do and how should they handle it if their spouse is uncomfortable with them still working there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (43:36 – 44:33) Yeah, boy, that's something that I would want to seek counseling on. You and your spouse really need to get with a counselor and talk that through. The generic advice in that situation would be to get a different job, to not have that relationship still a temptation or available.   But there are sometimes very extenuating circumstances where that's not a possibility, or at least for now, that's not a possibility. And so, I would really encourage you to meet with a third party to sort through the details of your particular situation. Because it could be that your spouse isn't willing to take that hard step of cutting off that relationship, or it could be that they're willing, but again, there's extenuating circumstances. And I would really want a wise person who is engaging with you to help you navigate that.   Laura Dugger: (44:34 – 44:44) But I love that, how you highlight that something to look for though, is that you would hope your spouse would be willing to make that right, especially if they were the offending.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (44:46 – 44:46) Okay.   Laura Dugger: (44:47 – 45:00) And then also, Juli, because scripture does talk about turning the other cheek, does that mean it's the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (45:02 – 47:41) Absolutely not. If you were in an abusive marriage, you are not doing your spouse any good. You are allowing your spouse to be in a place where they're destroying their own life and they're destroying the people that they love.   Now you say, okay, where biblically do we see this? We see that Jesus, he says in John, he says, “I laid down my life for my sheep. I lay it down willingly. No one has the authority to take it from me. I have the authority to lay it down and I have the authority to take it up again.” And we see Him living that out with religious leaders who were after Him all the time, who wanted to stone Him, who were accusing Him of things. It says over and over again that Jesus escaped from them. He just got out of there until it was time that the Father said, now is the time for you to give yourself for the world.   So, we take that principle and we say, Jesus was not abused. Jesus did not let Himself be abused. He gave Himself as a lamb to the slaughter as a sacrifice for the Father and for the world. But that's very different. Up until that time, we see Him have great boundaries. We see Him not get, it even says He didn't entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. I mean, He had boundaries with people that could have hurt Him.   And I also love when we see this in the story of King David and Saul, when Saul is chasing David, Saul is abusive, right? He wants to kill David. And so, David escapes. And there's a situation where David has the power or the opportunity to kill Saul and he doesn't do it. And then Saul just is struck by his conscience, and he comes back to David. He goes, “You're a better man than I am. I'm so sorry. You know, come back with me and I'll treat you well.” And even though David doesn't take revenge, he doesn't go back with Saul. He's still, he's like, “You go your way. I'll go my way. I'm going to let the Lord judge between us.”   And I think that's a great model. If you're in any kind of abusive relationship, you don't take revenge, but you also don't stay in that situation. You go your way, let them go their way, and you let God judge between you. And I think we see that over and over again in scripture.   Laura Dugger: (47:42 – 48:19) I think that is so well said. And it reminds me of a somewhat recent conversation in 2025 with Stacey Womack who's saying with domestic violence, really the way God would see it is child abuse. And that kind of helps our paradigm because we are His child.   And she elaborates on that. So, I said that that was the last one, but I actually thought of one more as it relates to our children.   So, is it reasonable to assume that once a child has a smartphone, 100% of them will be exposed to pornography?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (48:21 – 49:15) Yeah, it is. And I would say not just once they have a smartphone, because I know with one of my kids, we delayed the smartphone decision, but he had a learning disability that required him to have an iPad for school. And somehow, even though we locked down all the apps, somehow he's able to access it through that. Or it can be a gaming system, or it can be a friend's phone. And so, having a smartphone or device like that certainly makes it more probable.   But you know, like our kids are surrounded by screens and technology, not just what's in our home, but in other people's homes and at school. And so, I think it's safe to assume, unfortunately, that yes, 100% of our kids are going to be exposed to pornography, probably by the time they're 13 or 14.   Laura Dugger: (49:16 – 49:31) And sadly, some much younger than that. But even if there's parental controls, or filters put on, it is just something on my heart that we have to be so vigilant against.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (49:32 – 50:12) Yeah, no, I felt like when, you know, I have three boys, and when they were all three kind of in those teen years, I felt like I was trying to plug holes in a boat, and there'd be new ones popping up all the time. Whether it's like apps, or you know, things that you think are completely safe. Somehow, pornography can get through.   And our kids are smart, like they know the workarounds to the parental things. And that's why we just need to have conversation after conversation, just discipling them, not just protecting them from pornography, but discipling them through what they're inevitably going to be exposed to.   Laura Dugger: (50:13 – 51:05) That's a great point that not just being reactive, but proactive. I think why I have such a heart for this is because practicing and doing therapy and having so many people come in those wounds, that if that addiction gets a stronghold, and that pornography use, it just can wreak havoc in people long term. And so, if we can do that hard work of discipling early on, it is such a blessing to our children, to the generation.   So, I'm just so grateful for your candid responses. And I think it's also a helpful reminder just to never take on a burden that was never meant for us to carry. So, are there any ways that God has taught you to not try and do His business?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (51:07 – 52:16) Yeah. Boy, that's such a great question. I've had to come to the conclusion that I can't convince anyone of right and wrong. You know, like, I can't convince anyone that pornography is wrong, or gay marriage is wrong, or you know, like, that's not my job. My job is to walk with the Lord with integrity and faithfulness and to testify as to who He is.   And so much of this work, whether we're talking about marriage or our friends or our children, so much of this work has to be the Lord's work. And you reach a stage with your kids when they hit those teen years, where you realize the things my kids most need, I can't give them. I can't give them a relationship with God. I can't give them the desire to follow and seek the Lord. Like, I can model that for them. I can encourage them. But that is between them and the Lord. And if I try to control that, I'm just getting in the way of the work that God wants to do in their lives.   Laura Dugger: (52:18 – 52:33) Goodness, I will need to write that down and reflect on that. That is so good, Juli. And there's still so much more that you could share with us.   So, where is your preferred place that we can go online and continue learning from you?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (52:34 – 52:48) Yeah, I would say two places. Number one, our website is authenticintimacy.com. And the second one is the podcast that I do called Java with Juli. It goes along with The Savvy Sauce, you know, like they kind of go together.   Laura Dugger: (52:49 – 53:11) Yes, absolutely. We will certainly link to all of that in the show notes for today's episode.   And you're familiar, I've asked you many times before, because we are called savvy, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So, as my final question for you today, Dr. Juli, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (53:13 – 53:58) Oh, I don't even remember how I answered this the last few times. I think I may have said this before, but I think reading the dead old guys is one of my savvy sauce, like reading people who didn't live in this generation who loved the Lord.   And learning from them is just, that's probably taught me more discernment than anything, because they just cut right through the cultural noise that I think sometimes can blind us. And they really help me see my heart for what it is and help me really want to pursue God at a deeper level.   Laura Dugger: (53:59 – 54:03) Wow. Any specific recommendations that have been personal favorites there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:04 – 54:22) Yeah, I love A.W. Tozer. I love many of Andrew Murray's books, particularly Humility and Absolute Surrender. And C.S. Lewis is another great one, Mere Christianity. So, those are some that I would recommend you start with.   Laura Dugger: (54:23 – 54:44) That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that.   And Juli, it's just always such a delight to get to share an hour of conversation with you. And you are just this beautiful mixture of bold and gentle and humble, all combined into one. So, thank you for being my returning guest today.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:44 – 54:49) Oh, thank you. And it's such a pleasure to be with you. Thanks for your great questions.   Laura Dugger: (54:51 – 58:33) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Fr. Michael Copenhagen is a Melkite (Eastern Catholic) priest, husband, and father at St. Nicholas the Wonderworker Melkite Catholic Church in Gates, New York. He holds a Bachelor's of Sacred Theology from the Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas in Rome. Show Resources Philip Kruse's story: https://philipkru.se/my-search-for-a-living-liver-donor   In Today's Show: Recommendations for couples to turn a new leaf in marriage. How is praying with icons done from a Western perspective? Are the Ten Commandments 30% transcendental and 70% earthly? Why was Jacob chosen for God's covenant over Esau? Why did John the Baptist say he didn't know Jesus in John 1:33 when they were cousins? Why does the rosary have no beads for the Glory Be? How can a Christian survive without a church in an oppressive country? Visit the show page at thestationofthecross.com/askapriest to listen live, check out the weekly lineup, listen to podcasts of past episodes, watch live video, find show resources, sign up for our mailing list of upcoming shows, and submit your question for Father!

OP's sister fabricated a tragic story about a "dead brother" to tell her husband and in-laws. When OP accidentally revealed the truth, the whole lie came crashing down - but now everyone is angry at OP. Did she really do something wrong, or is she just scapegoat for her sister's deception? 0:00 Intro0:20 Story 15:00 Story 1 Comments / OP's Replies10:36 Story 1 Update16:20 Story 1 Comments17:25 Story 1 Update#redditupdate #redditrelationship #redditpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My spouse is too stubborn!!

What do you hide from your spouse because you know they'll be upset that you bought it? We share ours and Kincaid reveals his latest impulse purchase he had to admit to his wife. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chaunsy Weisensel discusses the importance of having a plan in place and shares a checklist for what you should do if your spouse passes away. Later Jeff joins the show to examine how retiring early is becoming more difficult. Then Chaunsy wraps up the show with tips for teaching your children about money.

Bible StudyDon't just take our word for it . . . take His! We would encourage you to spend time examining the following Scriptures that shaped this sermon: Sermon OutlineThree Lenten invitations from Exodus 24—to remember our covenant with God (vv1–8)to renew our communion in God (vv9–11)to return to the cloud of God's presence (v12–18)Sermon QuestionsWhat is the difference between a contract and a covenant?Can there be such a thing as "conditional love"?What does it mean to be God's priestly people? (Compare Exodus 24:7 and 1 Peter 2:9).In your gut, are you comforted or startled by God's scandalous welcome in verses 9–11?Have you ever, or are you now, experiencing "divine darkness"? Turn off your screen and ask a Christian friend to pray for you, that you might experience a sense of God's nearness and unconditional welcome and love.For personal reflection: meditate on these words from St. Gregory of Nyssa's Commentary on the Song of Songs: "The Bride is encompassed by a divine night, during which her Spouse approaches, but does not reveal Himself. But how can that which is invisible reveal itself in the night? By the fact that He gives the soul some sense of His presence, even while He eludes her clear apprehension, concealed as He is by the invisibility of His nature."Resources ConsultedThomas Joseph White, ExodusBrevard Childs, Exodus: A CommentaryAmy Peeler, "Desiring God: The Blood Of The Covenant In Exodus 24," BBR 23.2 (2013), 187–205J.B. Torrance, "The Unconditional Freeness of Grace"Michael Hundley, Yahweh among the Gods: The Divine in Genesis, Exodus, and the Ancient Near EastAndrew Louth,The Origins of the Christian Mystical Tradition: From Plato to Denys (pp.78–94)To dig deeper, check out the two-part discussion on The Naked Bible Podcast.Questions?Do you have a question about today's sermon? Email Sam Fornecker (h).

In hour two of 3 Man Front we heard from Bama247's Mike Rodak, played "The Spouse Game" With Damian and his fiancé, and updated you on the latest SEC bracketology! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brian Miller (Coach Approach Ministries) is joined by Robert & Kaylee Fukui, authors of Tandem: The Married Entrepreneur's Guide for Greater Work-Life Balance, with special guest Danelle Miller (CAM Operations Director… and Brian's wife). They talk about what happens when marriage and business share the same kitchen table: role confusion, taking things personally, decision gridlock, risk tolerance gaps, and the surprisingly powerful value of prepping conversations so nobody gets blindsided. Along the way: performance reviews when you're married to the boss, why "we never argue" is not the flex people think it is, and the simple signals and boundaries that keep conflict messy-but-safe instead of messy-and-destructive. Key takeaways Name the hat you're wearing. "Husband vs boss vs coach" isn't semantics—it's the difference between teamwork and accidental emotional arson. Most conflict escalates because it gets personal fast. Entrepreneur couples take disagreement as distrust quicker than typical coworkers would. Decision-making is the #1 limiter. If you can't come to agreement, you can't move forward in business—and you might torch the marriage while trying. Risk tolerance differences are real (and predictable). One person wants to jump; the other wants a safety net. Healthy couples build the net together. No surprises. Healthy reviews and hard conversations work best when people get a heads-up and a chance to think and respond. "Guard your heart" (shot over the bow). A simple pre-signal + a few deep breaths helps the listener receive without reacting. DISC-style awareness lowers the temperature. When differences are expected, they stop feeling like betrayal and start feeling like design. Memorable moments (with timestamps) 00:01:30 – 00:04:10 — Brian describes working with Danelle: "On paper, I'm the boss…" (and then reality walks into the room). 00:04:11 – 00:06:34 — Performance reviews as a married team; why "changing hats purposefully" matters. 00:07:05 – 00:11:06 — Biggest obstacles: blurred lines, taking it personal, conflict resolution, and decision paralysis. 00:11:52 – 00:13:02 — "Opposites attract; once we say 'I do,' it's irritating." 00:14:11 – 00:15:13 — The myth of "we never argue" and why it can be a warning sign. 00:15:13 – 00:16:33 — Danelle's "six months of stuffing" → file cabinet dump (every spouse just felt that in their bones). 00:17:37 – 00:18:15 — "40,000 feet vs zero feet" leadership styles; how execution starts too early and vision changes too fast. 00:22:23 – 00:23:37 — Brian on the harder truth: telling Danelle difficult things and the need for "messy but safe." 00:23:48 – 00:24:23 — "Guard your heart" + deep breaths = better receiving. 00:31:42 – 00:33:36 — Resources: the book, assessment, and discovery call pathway. 00:33:47 – 00:35:16 — Danelle's takeaway: boundaries have types—time, giftedness, and roles—and naming them helps. Practical tools you can steal today 1) The "Hat Statement" Before a conversation, say: "I'm speaking as your spouse." "I'm speaking as your business partner." "I'm speaking as your boss/employee." Then agree on the goal: solve, decide, debrief, or just listen. 2) The "Shot Over the Bow" A pre-signal for hard truth: "Guard your heart." "This might sting; I love you; we're okay; we still need to talk." Then: two deep breaths before the content lands. 3) The "Is now a good time?" boundary Especially for the spaghetti/waffle clash: Ask permission to enter the other person's mental room. If not now, schedule it: lunch / weekly meeting / tonight. Discussion questions (great for couples, teams, or coach debrief) Where do work and home boundaries blur most for us—time, topic, tone, or role? When we disagree, what story do I tell myself about what it means? (e.g., "You don't trust me.") What's our risk tolerance gap—and how can we build "safe jumping" together? What pre-signal would help me receive hard truth without reacting? What would "messy but safe" look like as a norm in our relationship? Resources mentioned Book: Tandem: The Married Entrepreneur's Guide for Greater Work-Life Balance (available via Amazon; also mentioned: thetandembook.com) Assessment + CAM listener page: marriedentrepreneur.co/cam (includes assessment + discovery call link) Coach Approach Ministries: coachapproachministries.org

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!One person wanting to talk and the other shutting down doesn't mean one of you cares more. It means your nervous systems cope differently.If you feel like you're always the one trying to talk things through — or you're the one who shuts down and gets overwhelmed — this episode will help you understand what's actually happening beneath the surface.In this episode, I break down:- The pursue–withdraw dynamic in marriage- Why shutting down is about protection, not avoidance- How to stop taking withdrawal personally- What “consensual conversations” are and why they change everything- How to use pacing to prevent arguments- The Japanese concept of ma and how intentional pauses improve communication- How to set conversations up for success instead of forcing resolutionIf you're ready for personalized support to help your marriage get back on track with healthy communication, book your clarity call here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Support the show

Should you ever correct your spouse? The Bible says you should, and it tells you how (Gal. 6:1-3). First, you must not be just frustrated and fed up, but “spiritual.” Second, your goal must not be to humiliate, expose, or “win,” but to “restore.” Third, you must bring correction in a “spirit of gentleness,” not anger. Fourth, you must examine your own heart, “lest you also be tempted.” And, finally, you must “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2) — so whenever the problem persists, you’re called to be patient and longsuffering. Correcting your spouse is sometimes called for, but it must be done carefully, this way (Gal. 6:1-3).

For the woman who still believes her marriage can feel better than this… even if she doesn't know where to start yet... Married-U is open! If you love your spouse but feel disconnected. If parenting has taken over everything. If your differences feel heavier than they used to. You're not broken. Your marriage isn't doomed. You're missing a few key shifts most of us were never taught. - https://married-u.com In today's episode, I respond to two honest questions: • Should kids sleep in the marriage bed, or should that space be protected for the couple? • How do you support a spouse with social anxiety when you're more outgoing and social? These aren't just practical questions. They're really about closeness, safety, desire, and learning how to stay a team. If you want to start creating a marriage that feels calmer, warmer, more connected, and more alive  Married-U was built to guide you step by step. You can begin on your own, even if your spouse isn't ready yet. https://married-u.com 

Numerous demonic entities are discussed and taught in the modern deliverance movement, and one of those is the spirit spouse. Leaders who hold to this belief teach people that this demon can invade one's dreams at night and have intimate encounters with them. It is said that this can stem from soul ties of past relationships, generational bloodline curses, witchcraft, and even scrolling on social media. Is this Biblical?Join me as we examine this teaching from Abednego Lufile and Tiffany Buckner, and we consider what Scripture has to say about this teaching. Resources:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/do-demons-have-legal-rights-to-christians/id1535754914?i=1000657147189Deliverance videos playlist:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGatBwNLxrd4NcLdQBMLf4HAbVBSr7-Lr&si=E-43CoaM8aALl1xXMy info:Website: http://www.lovesickscribe.comSubscribe to my blog here: http://eepurl.com/dfZ-uHInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovesickscribe/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovesickscribeblog

Taxes. Filing status. Adjusted gross income. Capital gains. Just reading those words can make you want to close the tab and deal with it “later.” But here's the truth: taxes change after widowhood. Sometimes in ways no one warns you about. Filing status shifts. Income is calculated differently. Survivor benefits can become taxable. And all of it is happening while you're navigating one of the hardest transitions of your life. In this episode, Stacy Francis and Allen Sakkon walk through what really happens to your tax situation after the loss of a spouse - in plain language - so you can feel more confident, ask better questions, and avoid costly surprises. You'll hear them discuss: How your filing status works in the year your spouse passes, and what changes in the years that follow (including qualifying surviving spouse and head of household) Why your adjusted gross income (AGI) is such a powerful number and how it affects Social Security taxation, Medicare premiums, and eligibility for credits and deductions When and why Social Security survivor benefits become partially taxable and how timing major financial decisions can help What cost basis means, how the step-up in basis works at death, and why it can dramatically reduce capital gains taxes on a home or investment account How selling a house or investments in the wrong year can unexpectedly spike your income and how to think strategically about timing The most commonly missed deductions after a spouse's death, including medical expenses, property taxes, mortgage interest, charitable gifts, and capital loss carry-forwards One simple habit - tracking your income deposits —-that can help you regain control and make your tax return far less intimidating Resources Allen Sakon on LinkedIn⁠ | Email Stacy Francis on LinkedIn | X(Twitter) | Email FrancisFinancial.com Reach out to receive a complimentary consultation! Contact Francis Financial at +212-374-9008 or visit Francis Financial today!

Keep Your Spouse Second: Red Flags - Part 3 by

When to Let a Cheating Spouse Move Back (and When it Prevents Reconciling)When a spouse says they want to come home after an affair, the relief can be overwhelming. But moving back in too quickly often restores comfort without restoring trust, increasing the risk of repeated betrayal and emotional distance. In this episode, Coach Jack explains how to rebuild love, trust, and commitment in the right order so reconciliation has a real chance to succeed.What You'll Learn:How to know whether your spouse's remorse reflects real change or fear of consequencesWhy rebuilding connection must come before living together againWhat conditions should be met before ending a separationHow to set loving but firm boundaries that protect your marriageWant to Work With Coach Jack?: If you are trying to end an affair and restore your marriage, the Ending a Spouse's Affair Coaching Package provides structured guidance to help you balance strong boundaries with meaningful relationship building. Coach Jack works with clients to communicate clearly, reduce emotional reactivity, and create the right conditions for lasting reconciliation.Key Takeaways:Remorse without action does not rebuild trust.Separation creates the conditions necessary for reconciliation.Rebuild love, trust, and commitment before living together again.Living together should be treated as a trial, not a guarantee.You must be willing to lose your marriage in order to save it.Additional Resources: A Christian Guide to Preventing and Ending Men's Affairs, by Jack Ito, PhD,7 Separation Bourndaries that Promote Reconciliation after SeparationHow to Decide Between Marriage Counseling and Marriage CoachingWork one-on-one with Coach Jack to repair your relationship using small, easy steps that rebuild connection quickly. Visit CoachJackIto.com to learn more about relationship coaching.

In this episode of Married and Connected, certified marriage coach Kameran Alareqi dives into one of the most common (and least talked about) relationship struggles: losing yourself in marriage.Whether you're feeling emotionally exhausted, disconnected from your identity, buried under parenting and responsibilities, or quietly resentful that your life revolves around everyone else — this episode will help you understand what's happening and how to reclaim yourself without blowing up your relationship.In This Episode, We Cover:Why so many people say “I lost myself” during marriage or divorceThe psychology behind identity fusion in long-term relationshipsThe difference between codependent vs. interdependent marriageEmotional labor and why women often feel identity loss fasterIdentity narrowing and provider pressure for menThe early warning signs of “the slow fade”Why resentment builds when autonomy disappearsHow to rebuild autonomy without starting conflictPractical steps to rediscover your individuality inside marriageThe Psychology Behind Losing YourselfResearch on identity fusion and self-schema overlap shows that in long-term romantic relationships, our individual identity becomes deeply intertwined with our partner's. While this can create closeness, it can also lead to emotional enmeshment and loss of autonomy.This episode breaks down:Why divorce can feel like an amputation of identityHow attachment patterns influence identity lossWhy resentment often signals suppressed autonomyThe subtle ways couples trade authenticity for attachmentSigns You May Be Losing Yourself in MarriageConstantly saying “whatever you want”Avoiding conflict to keep the peaceGiving up hobbies, interests, or friendshipsFeeling emotionally numb or boredResenting simple requests from your spouseNot recognizing your own reflection anymoreIf any of this feels familiar, you're not broken — you're likely buried under layers of “we” without enough “I.”Practical Tools to Reclaim Yourself (Without Destroying Your Marriage)Kameran shares actionable strategies including:✔️ The “Church and State” separation every marriage needs ✔️ Why you need hobbies, trusted friends, and personal space ✔️ The 20-Minute Solitude Rule ✔️ How to practice small acts of autonomy ✔️ Rebuilding neural pathways of independence ✔️ Supporting your spouse in staying wholeBecause healthy marriages aren't made of two halves.They're made of two whole people choosing each other.

Hello, Protagonists!Welcome to another episode of the Creative, Inspired, ALIVE podcast—where we go behind the scenes with the storytellers shaping our culture.Our next guests, Emily Wibberley and Austin Siegmund-Broka, are a married Romance writing team! They met and fell in love in high school. Austin went on to graduate from Harvard, while Emily graduated from Princeton. Together, they are the authors of multiple novels, including The Roughest Draft and Reese's YA Bookclub Pick Heiress Takes All. They are also two-thirds of USA Today bestselling author E.B. Asher. So much teamwork! Seeing Other People is their latest novel.Today, we talk about:* writing in partnership,* trends in the romance genre,* incorporating speculative elements,* and the writing scene in LA.xo,Joanna & Evelyn

Steve Harvey Morning Show Online: http://www.steveharveyfm.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With the recent National Marriage Week and Valentine's Day, Lionshare's Dave Buehring talks about marriage:  how do we help each other grow closer to God and help them live into what God's calling him/her to do and be?  How do you live into the commitment of you and your spouse walking with each other through life, forever?  Then, Carmen dips into the Monday Mailbag to answer a question on how do we think well with all the sordid details coming out with the Epstein Files.   The Reconnect with Carmen and all Faith Radio podcasts are made possible by your support. Give now: Click here

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Send a textOn this Special Valentines Day show, my Bride Jill Edwards and a comics wife, Bernice Worley share their point of view on the whole Life in Comedy. It is a sincere attempt to share how handling a spouse who travels, or an entrepreneur focused on a business....can be tough for every couple. I hope it is clear that this podcast is a tribute to Spouse's that support one another, and how Grateful we are to the women (or Men) that support their spouses..."Thank-you"Road Comic Bob Worley also adds a few comments and stories as well....and he is always funny!Support the show www.StandupComedyPodcastNetwork.com Website....check it out, podcast, jokes, blogs, and More!"NEW" Video Podcast: Tag Team Talent Podcast on Spotify & YouTube Podcast Quality List: https://www.millionpodcasts.com/heritage-podcasts/ Please Write a Review: in-depth walk-through for leaving a review.Interested in Standup Comedy? Check out my books on Amazon..."20 Questions Answered about Being a Standup Comic""Be a Standup Comic...or just look like one"

Marriage is about learning to love your spouse in the way they best understand love—their unique love language. Marriage experts Dr. Gary Chapman and Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott join forces to help you identify your spouse’s love language and become fluent in expressing love in meaningful, personalized ways. Together, they explore the subtle “dialects” within each love language and encourage you to be more intentional and authentic in how you love your spouse. Receive a copy of The Love Language That Matters Most and an audio download of "How to Speak the Love Language Your Spouse Needs Most" for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive. Get More Episode Resources If you enjoyed listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, please give us your feedback.

Marriage is about learning to love your spouse in the way they best understand love—their unique love language. Marriage experts Dr. Gary Chapman and Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott join forces to help you identify your spouse’s love language and become fluent in expressing love in meaningful, personalized ways. Together, they explore the subtle “dialects” within each love language and encourage you to be more intentional and authentic in how you love your spouse. Receive a copy of The Love Language That Matters Most and an audio download of "How to Speak the Love Language Your Spouse Needs Most" for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive. Get More Episode Resources If you enjoyed listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, please give us your feedback.