Rolling Stoned

Sketch is back to the grind at USPUSS and today he's working a different route than usual, covering for a coworker that's sick. Everything is going pretty normal besides a bizarre encounter a frisky older couple. They just want Sketch to bring some eviction papers to the neighbor. Piece of cake. But he soon finds out the cake is indeed a lie because the neighbors aren't home. In fact, it looks like they haven't been home for some time. Years maybe. Well, might as well go out back and spark a J, but -KLANG- what is that? Looks like some kind of hatch... attached to a whole bunker... and there's some voices chanting something below... "three squares per... front to back..." Well, might as well open this up... Special guests Desmond Hawkins and Matt Korda. Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

This New Year was pretty uneventful for Ken & Sketch compared to the previous one, but while finishing off a special second generation New Year's blunt, Sketch got to thinking...whatever happened at last year's New Year party at P-Dawgs...and did he still have dank buds...? Using Ken's address book, Sketch is able to find P-Dawg's parent's house, who he's hoping can point him in the direction of some kind buds, but as luck would have it he is living right next door in a shack, and Sketch's old friend T-Bone (Nate Maney) is with him! The old friends immediately swap stories and reminisce about the last time they were all together, the 2003 New Year's party, where P-Dawg's apartment randomly burned down that night and apparently, Ken ran off into the woods. But as the memories come to light, Sketch is less and less sure it was an accident as they piece together their blacked-out search for Ken... Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

It's the Rolling Stoned Christmas special and season finale extravaganza! Twas an average day for Sketch, making deliveries and picking up packages, when along came a package, but human it was. His clothes were all dashing and the deepest of reds. "My name's Mr Krimson," he smiled and said. A briefcase, quite peculiarly, was chained to his wrist. "Oh, that? It's a package of wonder and cheer. Looking upon it, the meaning of Christmas is clear." But hark! Sketch will learn much more than the reason for the season. For to give and give and give is not enough... for Mr Krimson comes with briefcase in cuff... Desmond Hawkins & Sean Cairns' improv company: https://monkeybusinessinstitute.com/ Toaster Boy's youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnfTHFM5pAfFmqnxeSZ9rYQ Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

The interstate revenge spree continues, as Starwoman works her way down the revenge list, and everyone is going to get their hands dirty. After swiftly disposing of Bong-water Man, they are off to enact vengeance on some really bad dudes, definitely the worst kind of people, from dog fighters to the Hollywood elite... and they're all... probably guilty...? Honestly, Ken, Sketch, and Adam are so sleep deprived and emotionally drained that they can't find it in themselves to care. They just want to relax and drink milkshakes... but there will be no rest until they face the most heinous person on Starwoman's list... truly a monster among the Hollywood elite... considered by many to be a badder dude than the devil himself... his name... is Robin Williams... Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Ken finally wakes up from his several week coma in the back of the USPUSS truck only to get ambushed by none other than... those Goddamned treehouse kids Timmy and Billy. But they aren't here on their normal shenanigans. In fact, they have found a new master... and her name is... Starwoman. Starwoman, who was last seen leading a caravan of skating ravenous children, is working her way down her revenge list (being an undead revenant, she's requires revenge for sustenance), and her list has brought her to none other than Ken & Sketch. Now... she's willing to cross their names off the list without getting revenge on them, but they're going to have to help with juuuust a few of her other revenges... Join us next week for the exciting conclusion! Other Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

It's just another Tuesday, and Sketch is trying to finish a DVD when he's encountered by a man outside, with a "package" from the motherland! It's called Kompletely Great Broadband and Marv & his Russian cousin, Milosh have apparently been sent to install this free new feature into the truck! But Sketch must leave for installation. Is important. Once he's gone, they drop the shtick and get to work installing surveillance; as the KGB have caught wind that the US government is spending countless dollars on funding the operatives "Ken & Sketch," and they want to know why. The operation is going smoothly until they press just the right button and reveal a feature of the truck unknown to Ken & Sketch... it's own Artificial Intelligence... Couch on the Couch: https://anchor.fm/couchonthecouch https://open.spotify.com/show/6NRVXFSEb6vXzjBqk96ZCN?si=Jhu339lFS6-zzaED3v3ivA Cynthia Booher: https://twitter.com/BooherCynthia https://www.instagram.com/cynthiabooher/ Other Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Sketch is amped up and ready to show the bosses the tape of the talk show that they insisted that he made last week. He was a little confused when they told him "If you're going to be around USPUSS a while, we're going to give you more responsibilities," and then told him they were putting him in charge of interviewing candidates, starting with this Adam Duodecim guy. Sketch isn't quite sure what candidate means or why USPUSS needs an interview talk show, but he is flattered that they think he's gregarious enough to host it and pulls out all the stops using only the best production available. He's never heard of this Adam guy, but is determined to give him an interview experience that the bosses would be proud of. They might even pick it up for another episode it's good enough! Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Ken & Age have come down with something after eating entirely too much guacamole, leaving Sketch to do the route alone. While griping to himself about his woes while looking for the new snack machine, he gets a little bit turned around and winds up in the top secret Moongate Command, which happens to be just a few floors down from the break room. There, he runs into the USPUSS security guard Terrance, who is taking a break on his beat to eat a little bit of Zza and acid while he stares at this mysterious giant empty ring. Apparently he's been throwing pizza boxes into this "portal" for some time, but as he's explaining this, the rings start shifting and BWAAHHHHH a giant pool emerges from the it and what appear to be people step out... I think we're going to need to see some I.D. Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Freshly back from vacation, Ken and Sketch are stopping by USPUSS to check out the progress on the reconstruction of the break room. There, they meet Notch, a second generation construction worker who is an expert digger and has an extraordinarily square figure. Some would describe it as box-like. Well, as he keeps telling Avery, the new break room is going to be about 200 blocks. He just has to clear the rubble and ehhhhhh rebuild the break room basement, it's not so hard. Especially with his newly acquired sparkly pickaxe... Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Age and Sketch are taking a much needed vacation with all the PTO (paid time off, can you believe that?) they were given while the USPUSS facility is rebuilt. The plan is to go visit Sketch's family in the UP, which is like Canada, but not actually Canada (much to Age's dismay), and go fishing, drink beer, and do a whole lot of nothing. These magnificent plans are thwarted when just outside of Plainfield, WI, the USPUSS truck breaks down. Fortunately, a friendly soul by the name of Edward Gene is here to help. And he's even got a boat. Maybe Sketch will get his fishing trip after all... Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Agents Ralph and Diego have some catching up to do. Their weekly reports haven't been sent to headquarters in a month because Ralph has been spending too much time mixing the top secret recordings, trying to make them more listenable, and Diego hasn't exactly been helping. They don't have much time to bicker about it though, because it appears in the security feed as if the USPUSS facility has... blown up. While sifting through the rubble, unsure of how the higher ups will receive the news, they become startled as Women in Beige emerge from the walls behind them, demanding answers. The WiB is way beyond Ralph's clearance level, but Diego knows they mean business because with the WiB you either cooperate, or you become erased. Also Boxman makes a dramatic return... Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

With both the Third and Sixth Amendments wished away by Lincoln's Hand, the New Confederacy is well on their way to bringing about their Confederate Dystopia. After being flung into the woods by Sketch's reckless driving, Age wakes up pinned to her crashed trailer. Fortunately, her trailer crashed into the tent of someone that can help. He calls himself--The Instructor. He has no time to explain, but he's an ageless veteran and he knows about the atrocities that are being brought to veterans through Confederate magic and he intends to set things right. However, with due process gone, Age, a known dissident, will have to be careful who she runs into. But, fortunately again, The Instructor knows his way through the woods and towards Veteran 77A, the key to fixing this mess. HOO RAH. Links: www.twitter.com/RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Age and Sketch are hot on Fugue State Ken's trail of bodies when Sketch suddenly notices someone he thought long gone from his past zoom by on familiar sounding rollerskates. Age's trailer immediately goes flying off the hitch as Sketch speeds up to find out that Starwoman is indeed still alive... sort of. She has become a zombie, er, revenant, existing for the sake of revenge, and Ricardo, Vinny (the Vietnam Vet), & Sketch are going to need her help if they are going to stop Fugue State Ken's confused murderous rampage. Fortunately, Starwoman remembers the world before the Third Amendment changed and is equally confused by all the tan-coats around. But they don't have much time to waste on carnage because the New Confederacy is about to set in motion a series of Amendment reforms that will put us back into Antebellum America... Also... HAPPY PRIDE Y'ALL!!! Links: @RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

The treehouse kids' wish to remove the Third Amendment with Lincoln's hand worked, leaving Ken, Sketch, & Age with no memory of the United States having an amendment prohibiting soldiers from being posted in people's homes. They don't remember a time without their trusty tan-coated soldier/body guard/servant/companion by their side, from the moment they pick them up from the local Vet Smart, like one does when registering a new home. But in this Confederate Dystopia, veterans aren't exactly being treated... humanely. With the Third Amendment gone, their duty to country has become indefinite, as they are keeping the peoples' homes guarded and their beds made until they are no longer of service... Our Stoners are going to need to act quickly if they are going to stop this Confederate Dystopia from getting any worse, but first Age needs to stop at the DMV and update her trailer registration... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

It's time to get back to work, but Ken and Sketch are going to be having a permanent guest tag along with them on their route. Newly fired and newly homeless, Age asks if she can crash with them, which they quickly agree to, after all, she only has one suitcase... Well, she picked some day to move in because they have to deliver an ominous relic to the treehouse kids, which may give their master the power to change the Union for the worse... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

420 was days ago, but Ken and Sketch have lost all concept of time and space. After wandering off into the Wisconsin wilderness from Milwaukee, they find themselves in a Spencer’s Gifts in Oconomowoc. Age (aka Adrienne) shows up out of nowhere in the USPUSS truck to save them from their hallucinogenic wanderings, only to drug them and bring them to none other than Detroit, Rock City. Age has become obsessed with a promising young Rock prodigy by the name of Jack White and is determined to meet him face to face backstage at his show, when a supernatural Liverpoolean presence makes himself known. Links: @RevoloverAudio www.anchor.fm/RollingStonedPodcast www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio

Ken and Sketch decide to take a day trip to Madison on their day off and run into their old friend, Adrienne. She is at the capitol to protest the United States invading Iraq under false pretenses and informs Ken and Sketch that we just started a war (they were unaware). After dropping some knowledge about world politics, the subject quickly gets on cannibalism and one thing leads to another... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

Ken's brother, D-Mike is in town from New Jersey and Ken & Sketch are picking him up from the bus station. They're looking forward to spending some quality time and seeing the sights, but first they have to finish their route. However, all goes awry while they're passing around a road bong and Sketch slowly crashes into a fire hydrant and they have an odd interaction with the police officer on the scene... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

While Ken and Sketch are taking a breather from the work day to watch Predator in the break room, the maniacal kids Billy and Timmy from the tree house show up at the USPUSS facility. And they want their skin couch back. And the couch is haunted or something... ? Idk, you're going to have to listen if you want to make sense of this one... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: https://kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygondwanaland/index.html

Following a rigorous debate about whether DVDs have what it takes to replace VHSs, Ken and Sketch decide to go to Circuit City to see what all the hype is about. A very enthusiastic Circuit City employee by the name of McDougal shows them the wonders of DVDs and some backroom deals (once they buttered his palms, that is...). Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

Agents Ralph and Diego discuss their suspicions of Ken and Sketch and their radical stoner ideology and then interrogate them under the guise of a performance review, but it quickly unravels as the agents unintentionally find themselves in the sweet embrace of Mary Jane herself... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

After Marathoning through the entire Alien quadrilogy in the back of their USPUSS truck/home, they run out of gas, forcing Ken and Sketch into the elements to search the USPUSS facility for supplies. But they are not prepared for they are about to find. For in a dark corner of the warehouse, a curious man awaits... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

Having spent their signing bonus, Ken and Sketch find themselves still needing to furnish the back of the USPUSS truck, their current home. While on their route, they spot the perfect chairs up in a treehouse and decide to snag them. Little do they know what they are about to uncover... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

After making their phone call to USPUSS, Ken and Sketch are told to come in right away for the a job. They decide to take the bus but are thwarted when a mother takes issue with their bong smoking. However, after taking a quick bath in Lake Michigan, and with some helpful directions, Ken and Sketch find themselves at the USPUSS facility. Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html

Ken and Sketch wake up after a New Year's party they barely remember that ended with their apartment burning down. Waking up in the streets of Milwaukee, they try to make sense of the previous night, while trying to figure out what to do next. Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/polygond…dex.html