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Honestly it was less than I thought it would be.

Happy New Year to you all and welcome to our first show of 2025!!Dave and Shane are back from the holiday break and proud to bring you their dive into goth rock / metal with an exclusive interview featuring #Tribulation guitarist #AdamZaars who discusses their latest album “Sub Rosa In Aternum.”Adam walked the boys through the writing and recording of the new album and why they changed their sound for this project. Honestly this album is one of our recent favorites! You've gotta check out this great release, and don't forget, our five hour series of Detroit Rock interviews is up and running as well - featuring a detailed oral history from Michigan's finest musicians and other artists telling the stories of Rock City!

Abigail's first pregnancy turned into a life-threatening birth experience with undetected gestational diabetes and a traumatic ICU stay. On top of that, she unexpectedly had to move homes just two weeks postpartum. Abigail quickly developed intense postpartum depression and struggled to make sense of what happened to her. She was sure she would never have kids again, but after therapy and healing, she and her husband found themselves wanting another baby three years later. Abigail became pregnant right away, and she knew this time would be different. This time, things would be better. From the meticulous monitoring to the candid conversations, Abigail felt heard and supported throughout her entire pregnancy. Her gestational diabetes was detected and very controlled. While a scheduled C-section seemed to be a logical choice, she knew her heart wanted a VBAC. She was able to go into spontaneous labor and pushed her baby girl out in just 13 minutes!How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: Welcome to the show, everybody. We have our friend, Abigail, from California with us today. She is a 27-year-old stay-at-home mom with a 4-year-old daughter and a 7-month-old son. She experienced a very unfortunate, traumatic experience with her first which really left her not really sure that she wanted any more kids. She's going to dive more into her wild experience, but she had a COVID pregnancy. She had a lot of different stresses through the pregnancy, especially at the beginning– gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and so many things with her first that really taught her a lot, and had a wild birth experience. Then the second time, she ended up getting gestational diabetes again, but did a lot of different things to improve her outcome like hiring a doula, getting a supportive provider, and all of that. We are going to turn the time over to her in just one moment, but I do want to quickly in place of the review share a couple of tips for gestational diabetes. If you guys have not heard about it so far, check out Real Food for Gestational Diabetes by Lily Nichols. It is absolutely incredible. It is less than 200 pages long. It is a fantastic read and filled with a lot of really great information and studies. She also talks about prenatals, so I wanted to remind everybody that we have a partnership with Needed who we just love and adore. We do have a promo code for 20% off. You can get your 20% off by using code VBAC20. Definitely check that out.Then we are going to be including a lot of things in our blog today like third-trimester ultrasounds, sizes of baby, and gestational diabetes so make sure to dive into the show notes later and check out what we've got. Okay, my darling. I'm so excited for you to share your stories today. I feel like there's part of your story that I want to point out too before you get going, and that is that sometimes you can plan the most ideal birth scenario, and I'm not going to talk about what this scenario is, but a lot of people are like, “Do this. Do this. Do this.” Sometimes you plan it, and then your care falls short or something happens and plans change. If you guys are listening, I just want you to dive in. As you are listening to Abigail share her stories, listen to how sometimes things change and what she did, and then what she did differently to have a different experience. Okay, Abigail. Abigail: Hello. First of all, I just want to say that I'm really happy to be here today. Thank you for having me today. Meagan: Me too. Abigail: Yeah, I guess let's just dive right in. Meagan: Yeah. Abigail: First thing is I am a stay-at-home mom, so my mom is out in the living room with my babies right now, and at this point, my son is 7-months-old, and we are having a really good time over here. I just want to start by saying that. Basically to start with my story, I got pregnant for the first time in January of 2020. Everybody knows what else happened in 2020. I was, I think, about 12 or 13 weeks pregnant when everything completely shifted. Everything started to shut down. There was a chance that I was going to get laid off of work which I did end up getting laid off of work about a week later. It was not a fun time. My husband and I had an apartment. We lived in a place we had just moved to. We had been there for about 3 years. We had a roommate, and everything was totally fine. Everybody worked full-time. I was working out regularly. We had a pretty chill life. Go to the farmer's market on the weekend. I was really excited when I found out I was pregnant. I was like, “Okay, yeah. We are going to bring a baby into this. Let's do it. I love what we're doing.” So again, everything completely shut down and shifted. Our roommate decided he wanted his own space, so he gave us a 30-day notice. We were stuck in a situation where they were raising our rent because our lease was up. We would have had to re-sign. It would have cost us more and everything, so we were looking at having to move because our roommate was moving out. It was all not a very fun time, so we decided to move back to where we were from, rent a room from a family member, and stay with them for the time being. They had a little bit of extra space for us. We thought it would be totally fine and everything. We moved when I was about 20 weeks pregnant. Up until that point, I had regular OB care at a regular office. I had done all of the blood work and everything and the ultrasounds and the anatomy scan and everything up until 20 weeks. When we moved, I decided, “Okay, I think I want to have the baby at home, especially now since the pandemic.” I don't know that I really wanted to go to the hospital, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to do that to begin with. I grew up in a community where home birth was pretty normal. My mom had my younger brother at home. Several of my friends were born at home and their siblings when we were younger. It was a pretty normal thing to me. I reached out to a team of midwives. I talked to them, and got everything set up. I started doing appointments with them. They were coming over to my house fairly frequently. It was pretty nice doing the regular blood pressure checks and the urine samples with the little sticks, and all of that stuff. When it came time for the gestational diabetes testing, I was like, “Okay, is this something I have to do?” I didn't have my insurance set up at that point or anything because we had just moved so we would have to pay out of pocket for it. I would have to go sit in some lab or office some place. Again, during COVID, while I was pregnant, I was like, “I don't know. If I don't have to do it, I don't want to. If I have to, I will. What are we doing here?” They were like, “Well, you're low-risk. These are the risk factors. If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. You just have to sign this form.”I was like, “Okay, cool. I'll sign the form. Seems easy enough.” I totally skipped the gestational diabetes testing. That was on me, but it wasn't on me at the same time because I don't feel like I was given proper informed consent. There was a team of three midwives plus a student, so a total of four that I was seeing. One of the midwives ended up getting switched out at about that point, so it ended up being the student, the same original two, and then one newer one. Everybody was really nice. They were coming over and checking on me and doing all of the things that I thought they were supposed to be doing. I was not weighing myself. We did not have a scale. Again, they didn't tell me that it is important to make sure that you're not gaining too much weight at a time or anything like that. What happened was, I started gaining a lot of weight, but I didn't really realize just how much weight I was actually gaining. I was like, “Oh, I'm pregnant.” I quit going to the gym. I can't even hardly do anything. It's hot out. It's summertime. I was pregnant from January to September, so the bigger I got, the hotter it got.I didn't do much, so I was like, “Whatever. I've gained some weight. It's not a big deal.” I was a pretty small person to start with. Just for reference, I'm 4'8”, and I was 95 pounds when I got pregnant initially, so really small. It started becoming concerning because toward the end of my pregnancy, and toward I guess not even the end, the beginning of my third trimester, I started getting really swollen. Like, really swollen. My feet and my legs up to my knees– not just my feet, but my calves and everything were pretty swollen. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I had swelling up to my thighs. I'm being told this is normal. I'm 23. I've never been pregnant before. I don't have any support groups or anything going because it's COVID. Nobody wants to talk to anybody or do anything. It was a little frustrating for me because they were like, “Just put your feet up. Soak your feet.” If I soaked my feet, they got more swollen. I was not taking proper care of myself either. I went from exercising and eating right and doing all of the things that you are supposed to do to sitting at home and eating a lot of fast food and not walking. I was not having a great time mentally either. We were living some place I didn't want to be living. It was all of it. I didn't think too much of it. Again, I'm like, “Well, I'm being told this is normal. I'm gaining some weight. It's fine.” At one point, one of my urine tests that they did came back positive for glucose, and they were like, “Well, what did you eat for breakfast?” When I told them, I was like, “I had some waffles. I had some orange juice,” and whatever else I had, they were like, “Oh, you just had some orange juice before you got here. That's fine.”I was like, “Okay.” They didn't think to check it again. I didn't think to get a second opinion or anything. At one point toward the end of my pregnancy, I had a blood pressure reading that I checked myself at home with the little wrist cuff. That was really elevated. It was the end of the day. I texted the midwife. I was like, “Hey, my blood pressure is really high.” She was like, “What did you do today?” I was like, “I didn't really do much. I ate this for lunch. I had some soda.” She was like, “Okay, well that's probably fine. Just rest and check it again in the morning.” I checked it again in the morning, and it was still relatively normal, so they didn't do anything. One of the midwives came over at one point and dropped off some herbs for me that they wanted me drinking like some tea or something like that because I was getting swollen. I was standing outside talking to her, and she was like, “Oh my god, I can see your feet swelling up while we are standing here. You need to go back inside and put your feet up.” Again, nobody thought anything of it. How four people missed all of this, I don't know. I feel kind of like the student may have been more concerned, but didn't really know how to say anything or anything, just looking back on the facial expressions she would give and things like that. I go into labor right at 40 weeks. I am planning a home birth. Everything is set up for that. I've got the tub at my house. We've done the home birthing class and how to get everything set up. We've done all that. There was no backup plan in place. They did not suggest that I have one. Again, I did not know any better at the time. I was told that if there was some kind of emergency, I would go to this hospital. That was as far as it went. I didn't have a backup bag ready. I didn't have a hospital bag ready. I didn't have anything planned. There was no, “Hey, this is what we watch out for. This is what you might go to the hospital for.”I go into labor at 3:00 AM. Honestly, contractions started, and they were immediately painful. I've never done this before. I'm like, “Okay well, maybe we're just starting out harder than I thought. That's fine. Maybe there's not going to be early labor.” I labored for a couple of hours. I was really uncomfortable, so I called the midwives. They came over. They checked, and they were like, “Okay, you're only at 2 centimeters, and this is seeming like early labor.” I'm like, “This really painful. I'm not having a good time. This does not feel okay at all.” They checked my blood pressure. My blood pressure was through the roof. They waited a little bit, checked it again, and it was even higher the second time. They were like, “Okay well, this is out of our care. You've got to go to the hospital now.” I'm like, “What do you mean I've got to go to the hospital? That's not part of the plan here. We don't even have a plan B or anything.” Through tears and contractions and everything, I was having contractions maybe every 10 minutes or so, 5-10 minutes. Somewhere around there, I don't remember exactly. I got a hospital bag ready. I got some clothes for the baby together. I got my phone charger, my toothbrush and everything, and we headed to the hospital. I sat in triage by myself for 4 hours because they did not have a bed available for me. They would not let my husband into triage with me because it was COVID. The entire time, I was so uncomfortable. They had me immediately start on blood pressure medication to try to get my blood pressure down. They started me on magnesium, and they told me that the magnesium was going to make me feel yucky which is the biggest lie I have ever been told by a nurse. I don't know if she just never had it or what, but I felt like you have the worst flu you've ever had. My whole body hurt. It made everything feel worse. I felt groggy. I felt sick. It was not fun at all. At that point, I think I got to the hospital at 11:00 AM. They didn't get me into a room until 3:00 or 4:00 that night. So at that point, I'd been in labor for 12 hours. I was still hardly dilated. The doctors, initially when I got there, said, “Your notes say you are only 2 centimeters. Why are you here?” I was like, “I don't know. I was told to be here. I was told that my blood pressure is high or whatever. I don't know. I don't want to be here.” They did all of the things. They ran all of the tests. The doctor comes back in and says, “You are severely preeclamptic. Why did you not get here sooner?” Meagan: So why are you here and okay, why weren't you here sooner?Abigail: Yeah. I was like, “I'm so confused. I don't want to be here.” I'm freaking out. I'm stressing hardcore. My blood pressure went down for a little bit, but it stayed really, really, really high. They put me on fluids and everything which of course, did not help with the swelling. They get me into a room and everything. Things are moving along. It's going fine. I was okay for a little bit, then it got to the point where my legs were so swollen that I felt like they were going to pop. My legs felt like balloons that were going to explode. They were trying to put compression boots on me and stuff in the bed. Every time I was having a contraction, I was trying to get up and get moving because it felt better to get up and move. They were taking the boots on and off. It was miserable. After, I think, 28 hours of labor at that point, I was like, “Okay. I would like an epidural, please. I really don't want to have to get out of bed. I can't do this. I want my legs up. I don't want any part of this.” They got me an epidural. I don't know exactly how many centimeters I was at that point, but things had not moved very far in 28 hours. The doctor kept pushing to try to break my water. I kept telling her, “No, thank you. I don't want that. It will break on its own. I would like to take a nap.” I took a nap. My water did break on its own. That was nice. The water was clear. Everything was fine. We are still moving. I have an epidural. It's working great. I'm laying in bed. My blood pressure was still high. The swelling was still bad, but other than that, everything was maintaining. We were fine.I continued laboring for a while. I was getting checked pretty frequently because the doctors were uncomfortable with the situation. Again, looking back, I realize why they would be uncomfortable with the situation. They kept checking me and trying to want to do stuff. I was on Pitocin at that point. They had started it at some point, I think, shortly before I got the epidural. I had been on that for a while. It had been from being okay to all of a sudden, I was not okay. I don't remember exactly what hour that happened. It was somewhere between probably 36-ish. I was dealing with some stressful stuff with some family members. I was not having a good time. My phone kept going off. I was just trying to rest. It was a miserable time. They said that I was getting a fever all of a sudden. They were like, “You're getting a fever. We're going to see what we can do.”  They tried to give me Tylenol to bring it down. They tried putting a cool rag on my face. They were trying to get me to eat ice. At that point, they had completely stopped letting me eat because initially when I got there, they were letting me eat a little bit, but that stopped. They wouldn't let me drink anything, so they were giving me ice chips and stuff. I started getting to the point where I was feeling really sick, like more sick than I already felt. They checked me again, and depending on which doctor did it, I was at a 6 or a 7 still. They finally called it. They were like, “You have an infection. You are not doing okay. This is not okay. You need to have a C-section now.” Crying, I was like, “Okay, fine. That's not what I want, but let's go.” They prepped me for the OR, got everything moving, got me back. By the time I got in there, it had been 38 hours. I had an epidural for about 12 of those hours, I guess. At that point, it wasn't working super well anymore. It was not working well enough that they could do the C-section, so they put in a spinal as well. I had both of those done. To my understanding, they are two different pokes. Again, I didn't want either initially, and I got both. I was not thrilled about that. I'm laying on the operating table. I was so thirsty. They wouldn't give me anything to drink. They kept giving me this moist sponge. They said that I couldn't suck on the sponge. I could moisten my mouth with it. They gave me some stuff to drink that said it was going to make it so I didn't throw up. I wasn't nauseous at all the entire time. I hadn't thrown up at any point at all. I was like, “I don't want this. I don't need it.” The stuff that they gave me tasted awful, and they wouldn't give me anything to rinse it down. My mouth is dry. I'm gagging from how dry my mouth is, and the stuff tastes bad. They have me strapped to the table. My arms are down. I just laid there crying. The C-section went fine. They got my baby out. She was okay. She was 7 pounds, 12 ounces. For somebody who is my size, I was like, “Wow. That's a really big baby.” That was surprising. So they get me sewn up and everything. They let me look at my placenta, and it was four times the size of any placenta I have ever seen. It was like a dinner plate sized, but a couple of inches thick, like really thick. I was like, “Okay well, that's really weird.” They moved me and the baby to recovery. My husband was with me. Everything was okay. Everything calmed down. We were okay now. We've got this. It's fine. Then all of a sudden, the nurse was like, “I don't like your bleeding.” This is the same nurse I had for two or three nights because at that point, I had been in labor for 46 hours. It was 46 hours by the time they took my baby out. I started labor initially on the 28th at 3:00 AM, and my baby was born on the 30th at 1:00 AM, so almost a full two days. She's like, “I don't like your bleeding.” I'm like, “Okay.” I'm really out of it. I'm not really paying attention. I'm trying to nurse my baby. I can hardly move. I'm uncomfortable. Next thing I know, there are more people coming in, more doctors coming in, more nurses coming in. They take the baby from me. They hand the baby to my husband, and they shove them out. I'm just screaming, “Please don't give my baby formula.” I don't know what's going on. I don't know where they're taking her. I was trying to nurse her, and I'm so confused now. Next thing I know, there are 10 people surrounding my bed. It's three doctors and seven nurses. I had one IV in my hand initially, or in my arm or wherever they put it. Next thing I know, I had two more IVs. There was one in my other arm and in my other hand. They put some pills up my backside, and I'm so confused what's going on at this point. I'm still numb from everything from the spinal and the epidural and everything, so I can't feel what's going on. She's pushing on my belly. She's changing the pads under me. Everyone is freaking out.Meagan: Wow. Abigail: I am fading in and out of consciousness. I don't know what's happening. My husband's freaking out. My blood pressure had dropped to 25/15 I think. Meagan: Whoa. Abigail: I was about to die. They finally got me stable. I don't really know what happened exactly. All I know is the next thing I know, I woke up and I was in the ICU. They wouldn't let my husband come see me. They wouldn't let me see my baby. I'm with a bunch of COVID patients and everything. They gave me two or three blood transfusions. They put a balloon in my uterus to apply counterpressure so that it would stop bleeding, and they had a bucket attached to it. I'm watching them just empty buckets of my blood. It was so scary. I'm laying in the ICU by myself, and the balloon in my uterus hurt so bad, like, so bad. I didn't end up moving. I laid there for the rest of that night, the entire next day, the whole next night, then I think they moved me the next day. It was a night and a half plus a whole day that I just laid there by myself. Meagan: Wow. So scary. Abigail: It was so scary. The nurses came in at one point and were trying. I think it was the lactation consultant maybe. They were trying to get me to pump and everything. I think I pumped once or twice, but I was not up for doing anything. If they didn't come in and sit me up, they didn't really do it. I finally get the balloon taken out because that was what I kept begging for. I was like, “Please take this out. It hurts so bad. The pain medications aren't helping.” I didn't want to give the pumped milk to my baby as it is because I was on so many pain medications and so many antibiotics and everything else. I get the balloon out finally, and I think they took it out that night then they moved me the next day. They moved me to high-risk maternity, and they let me take a shower and eat some food and stuff before they brought my baby back from the nursery because she was fine in the nursery. That was nice to be able to take a shower and wash off all of the blood. I was so covered in blood and everything. I looked at my C-section scar and everything for the first time, and I realized I had a reaction to the tape that was on it and stuff too, so my skin all around it was all irritated. All up and down my arms had been profusely poked and prodded because they were checking my blood every four hours because of the infection and stuff. Depending on the lab tech's skill and everything, it was not going well for some of them. They kept having to poke me. The IVs weren't working for them to take blood from or something like that so they just kept having to poke me more. Again, I was having reactions to some of the tape, so my whole arms are just completely raw and everything. I was still very swollen. I was very, very, very swollen still. They had compression socks and stuff on at this point, not boots at least. They finally bring my baby to me, and then we ended up spending three days in high-risk maternity, so total, that was two days in labor, almost two days in the ICU, and three days in the high-risk maternity. Total, I spent seven days in the hospital. I get home, and they had me on blood pressure medication for a few weeks until I think my six-week appointment when I followed up, and then my blood pressure was back to normal, so I was able to quit taking the blood pressure medication and stuff. I dropped 30 pounds instantly because it was all of the swelling that just came off. I had still gained a lot of weight, but it a huge chunk of it was swelling which is so bad. It was finally over. I was settled. I'm in bed with my baby, and then the family member we were living with decided that they didn't want us living there anymore, so at three weeks postpartum, we had to move. I had only been home from the hospital for two weeks at that point. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't want to be around the situation. My husband was dealing with it. I ended up going on a road trip with my grandma to go stay with a different family member out-of-state just to make sure my baby wasn't anywhere near anything that was going on. Three weeks after a C-section and almost dying, I was driving and doing a whole bunch of other stuff– going out, walking around, and trying to put jeans on. I couldn't figure out why my clothes didn't fit. I didn't realize just how big I had gotten. It was not a fun time. It was about five days out of town, then I moved into a different family member's house temporarily where I was completely isolated by the people that I was living with. They did not understand what I was going through. They thought that I was choosing to be difficult intentionally, so that created additional problems. I ended up getting pretty bad postpartum depression which is really not a surprise. I still didn't understand what had happened to me. I still didn't understand why I had almost died. I still didn't understand. I didn't know if I had done something wrong. I didn't know what was going on. I spent a lot of time really upset over the fact that everything went wrong, and I didn't know why. Life was falling apart around me. I was not doing okay. It turned into really bad postpartum depression pretty quickly. My husband and I got our own apartment when my baby was four month's old. I was like, “Okay, things are finally going to get settled. Things are going to be okay now.” It did not settle. My depression got worse, and I didn't even know what to do. I was eating a lot because I was like, “I'm breastfeeding. I need to eat.” I basically just sat at home, didn't do anything but eat and nurse my baby. I was very thankful I was able to successfully breastfeed my baby after everything that happened to me. All of the nurses at the hospital were surprised about that and stuff. Meagan: Yeah, with the amount of blood loss and everything, that's pretty rare. It's pretty rare. Abigail: Yeah. I never ended up giving my baby a bottle or anything because I was so scared that if I tried to give her a bottle or something that it would mess up my breastfeeding, and that was the only thing that had gone right. I was doing okay for a little while, I thought, but it was not okay. I was really not okay. I was very, very sad. I was fully convinced for a period of time that they should have let me die at the hospital. I was fully convinced that the doctor did me a disservice by trying so hard to save me. Meagan: I'm so sorry. Abigail: Yeah. I finally started therapy. I started trying to get up and do more and not eat so much and get moving. I think finally around the time my daughter was a year or a year and a half, I started to feel a little bit better, and things slowly did start to get a little bit better for me, but I was fully convinced that I did not want more kids. I was like, “I am never going through that again. I do not want another C-section. I don't know what happened to me, so obviously, I would have to have another C-section because we don't even know what went wrong.” It took me until my daughter was almost three. She was about to be three when all of a sudden, my mindset shifted, and I was getting mad at myself for feeling like I wanted another baby because I was like, “I don't want another baby. Of course, I don't want another baby. I made that very clear.” We got rid of all of the baby stuff. I told everybody I wasn't having more. What was wrong with me? I was fighting internally with myself because I wanted another baby, but I did not want another baby. It was insane. I kept it all to myself. I didn't say anything. All of a sudden, my husband was like, “I think we should have another baby. I was like, “What are you talking about? You're insane.” He was like, “No, really. I think we should have another baby.” I was like, “You shouldn't have said that because I want another baby.” Meagan: Yeah. I have been actually thinking the same. Yeah. Abigail: Yeah. I was pretty surprised that I got pregnant right away. Literally, within a couple weeks, I was pregnant. It was a good thing and a bad thing because it didn't give me a chance to overthink it, but also, it was like, “Oh no, I haven't even had a chance to think about this. This is definitely what's happening.”I started going to the doctor right at five weeks. They started doing ultrasounds right at five weeks. They were checking me for everything every time, all of the time. I had so much anxiety. I made that very clear to them. I think that's part of the reason that they checked everything all of the time and were trying to be more reassuring. They did ultrasounds at almost every appointment. Most people don't even get an ultrasound until 12 or 20 weeks. Meagan: And then that's the only one. Abigail: I had four of them before I even went for my anatomy scan. They were trying to watch everything and make sure everything was fine too because again, they didn't do my care last time. This OB place did my follow-up care afterward. They saw the aftermath of everything, and they were concerned and stuff. That's what we were dealing with. I was dealing with some nausea, so they gave me some pills for that. Come to find out, one of the side effects of one of the medications they gave me was anxiety. I was fighting a losing battle with myself because I was taking these pills for the nausea. I wasn't eating because I was anxious, and I wasn't eating because I was nauseous, then I was getting more anxious. It was a rough first 20 weeks I would say. Then I did start feeling better, thankfully, so I was able to start eating and stuff again. Once I felt better, I was eating ice cream and all of those things that I wanted and all of that. It was fine. I was doing fine. I was doing all of my appointments and stuff, then it comes up for my gestational diabetes testing. The doctor says, “You need to do this,” and immediately, I was like, “Yes, please. I need to do that because that's one of the things I didn't do last time. I need to do everything to make sure I'm good.” I need to backtrack a minute, I'm so sorry. At my first intake appointment at five weeks when I met with one of the– they're nurses, but it's not the nurse who actually checks you and stuff. They have an office at the OB's office, and they check in, and they ask, “Do you have transportation for your appointments? Do you need help with anything? Do you have access to food? Are you in a safe relationship?” I let them know what had happened previously with me, and she was like, “Oh, well then you might be interested in this. This is something new your insurance covers. You could get a doula if you wanted since it sounds like you wanted to have a more natural experience last time.”Meagan: That's awesome. Abigail: Yeah. Immediately, I was like, “Hell yeah. Let's do that.” I didn't have a doula last time. Again, last time was COVID. I was already trying to pay for the midwives. It wasn't something I thought about one, because I thought I was having a home birth with a couple of midwives. I didn't think I needed a doula. Also, I didn't fully understand what they were and the actual extent of the benefits of them. I was like, “Yeah, totally.” The first thing I did when I got home was call. They were like, “Yeah, we take your insurance. We can get you set up. We're taking new clients. Let's get you in for an appointment.” I started seeing a doula sometime in my first trimester. I don't remember exactly when, but I remember I pulled up the office and I got out. I was like, “This can't be right. This is too nice. There's no way my insurance covers this.” I was shocked at the care I received from my doula service. I'm just going to go ahead and give them a quick shoutout just because they are amazing, but it's Haven for Birth in Sacramento, California, and they do amazing work for a lot of different things. I still attend lactation meetings and stuff with them monthly. Meagan: That's awesome.Abigail: It's such a great team of people. I got the doulas that they set up for me because there are two of them. There's a main one and a backup one. My main doula's name was Heidi, and the backup doula's name was Francine. They were both so sweet and wonderful. Heidi has been doing doula work for a good amount of time. She owns a chiropractic business and Haven. She's the main one, and she's the one who has dealt with higher-risk pregnancies and things like that, so she was my main source of support and throughout everything. I would text her if I needed something. She was so reassuring. She was like, “Yep. You can totally have a VBAC if that's what you want to do.” I was like, “Really? I can do that, okay. I'm going to talk to the OB about it.” The OB was like, “Yeah. It's completely up to you. As long as you are fine and we watch everything, that's fine.” I really did feel like they were supportive. It wasn't like, “Well, if you are okay, then you can.” It was like both of the OBs that I had seen, one of them was a guy and one of them was a girl, and both of them were like, “Yeah, as long as we keep everything in check, you are totally fine. I don't see why you couldn't.”I started to feel a little more confident in that. I had a lot of anxiety about it and for a couple of weeks, I did contemplate scheduling a C-section just to ease my own anxieties, but I didn't feel right with that choice. I really didn't. I was like, “I need to try.” It was tough, though, because I was like, “I don't know how I'm going to deal with the feelings of trying and not succeeding,” so that was the struggle of, “Do I want to just have a C-section that way? I get what I want no matter what,” but I didn't feel like I wanted to do that. I worked really, really, really hard to get my VBAC is basically what ended up happening. Back to where I was, I get my gestational diabetes testing done, and the first-hour one comes back really high. I'm like, “Okay, that's concerning.” I texted my doula about it. She was like, “It's okay. You're going to do the three-hour one. You'll probably pass the three-hour one, but even if you don't, it'll be fine.”I failed the three-hour one really bad. My fasting number was fine, but the rest of the numbers were very elevated, not even just a little bit. I was like, “Oh, okay.” This is all starting to make sense. I had a lot of anxiety initially about what I could or couldn't eat because I didn't feel the greatest, and I was letting myself eat what sounded good to make sure that I was eating. It was a rough week initially when I got that, then it took them a minute to get me the referral in for the program, the Sweet Success program where I was actually able to talk to nurses and dieticians there. Once I finally got in with them, I met with them a few times throughout the end of my pregnancy. I did feel very supported by them. They were very nice. The dietician was willing to meet with me one-on-one instead of a group setting because I was having issues with eating and not wanting to eat and feeling very concerned that I was going to hurt myself or hurt the baby.They did a very good job making sure that I was cared for. We completely changed up my diet. I started walking after every meal. I started checking my blood sugar four times a day, so first thing in the morning, then after breakfast, after lunch, and after dinner. I basically, immediately after eating, would get up and do the dishes or clean up the food I had made or pick up the house or start some laundry or something so that I was getting up and moving. Only a couple of times, there was only once or twice where my blood sugar numbers were higher than they really wanted by more than a point or two. I did a really good job keeping those in check with what I was doing and watching what I was eating very closely and monitoring my portion sizes and realizing what I could and couldn't eat. Once I got to the point of 36 or 37 weeks or whatever where they were like, “Okay, this is the plateau. It's not going to get worse than this,” and I realized I was able to keep it under control and things like that, I would let myself have a couple of bites of a cookie here and there. It wouldn't spike my blood sugar or anything because I was doing everything I needed and that made me feel really nice because I was able to eat the stuff I really liked as long as that was within reason.We met with the doula multiple times. She came over and did a home visit at 37 weeks. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions from the time I was 19 weeks because we got COVID. We got RSV, and we got a cold. We got a cold. We got COVID, and we got RSV. Meagan: Oh my goodness. Abigail: Yeah. That was the whole first half of my pregnancy along with dealing with nausea and everything else. I found out I was pregnant the beginning of September. We got a cold in October. I got COVID in November, then in December, we got RSV, and my daughter who was three at that point spent five days in the hospital, so I spent five days in the hospital right next to her dealing with RSV while I was pregnant. I feel like the coughing kickstarted Braxton Hicks contractions almost because at that point, I started having them pretty regularly. From 19 weeks on, I had tightenings all the time. Some days, they would be worse than others, but because I was so active, it definitely– I never got diagnosed with irritable uterus or anything, but I think that's what it was because it would get really irritable when I would do pretty much anything, and I was doing things all of the time. At 35 weeks, my contractions started getting fairly intense-ish. They weren't painful at all, but it was every 3-5 minutes, I was contracting. I drove myself to the hospital. I was like, “I'm fine. I'm not concerned.” I didn't bother my husband or my doula or anything. I let her know I was going, but I was like, “Don't worry about it.” They hooked me up. They checked me and everything. they were like, “You're hydrated. We don't need to give you fluids or anything.” They were like, “How are you feeling? You've got to tell us if they hurt or not because we can see them on the monitor, but you've got to tell us how you're feeling.” I was like, “I just feel annoyed. They tighten up, and it's uncomfortable when they do, but nothing hurts. I'm annoyed.” They were like, “Okay, let's check you.” I was still completely closed with no baby coming down. So they gave me a single pill to stop them and sent me home. It worked. It slowed them down for the rest of the night, then they kicked back up to their normal here and there the next day. But for the next couple of weeks, I kept it fairly easy. If I noticed I started I was having more of them, I would try to go lay down. I was able to have my baby shower at 36 weeks which was wonderful because I had not had a baby shower for my first baby because of COVID. I feel like 36 weeks was almost pushing it because my family had asked if we wanted to have it later to have somebody else be able to join us and I was like, “No, no. Please don't push it later. I don't trust that.” It was like I knew that he was going to come just a little early, but I was doing all of the things and still having the regular Braxton Hicks contractions and everything. They were doing multiple growth scans on my baby because he started measuring small at 28 weeks, I think. At his 28-week scan, they noted that his kidneys were slightly enlarged, so they wanted to follow up on that. They followed up on that at 28 weeks. His kidneys were completely fine. We never had another incident with that, but they noticed he was measuring a little smaller so they started doing regular checks. By the end of my pregnancy, I was having a growth scan every week, so they went from, “Let's check you in six weeks. Let's check you in four weeks. Let's check you every two weeks. Let's check you in a week.” They noticed he was measuring small, and he continued measuring small. Meagan: They were regressing, or he was staying on his own growth pattern but small?Abigail: He was growing but not a lot. Meagan: Okay, yeah. He was staying on his own pattern. Abigail: They didn't want him to drop below the 10th percentile, and if they did, they were going to be concerned. He did get right to the 9th or 10th percentile, so they did start to get concerned. They labeled him IUGR. They were doing non-stress tests on me twice a week. Basically, by the end of my pregnancy, I was seeing the OB, the place for the non-stress tests, the gestational diabetes program, the place for the ultrasounds and growth scans, a therapist, a hematologist because I ended up having to have iron infusions and B12 injections, and the doula's office, so seven places. Almost all of them wanted to see me every week. Meagan: Whoa. Abigail: I was running around, super active towards the end of my pregnancy. I was still taking my daughter out and doing all of the things with her as well. I noticed after my baby shower at 36 weeks that my feet were just a little puffy, and I was like, “Huh. That's funny.” It hit me all of a sudden. I was like, “My toes are kind of pudgy.” I'm 36, almost 37 weeks pregnant, and this is the most swollen I have gotten. It was not up my legs. It was not even in my whole feet. It was my toes and the top of my feet, not even my ankles. They were the tiniest bit puffy. I had this moment of clarity where I was like, “How did nobody notice that something was so wrong with me?” I was shocked because I'm looking at myself and I had gained a total, by the end of my pregnancy with my son, of 25 pounds, and that was it. With my daughter, by the end of it, I had gained 70 pounds. Again, how did nobody notice? I am shook. I thought on that for a long time. I'll come back to that, but I thought on that for so long. I ended up emailing the midwives who had provided me care. I was having a day. I went off on multiple people that day. I was not having it, and I emailed them, and I sent them a four-paragraph email about how they let me down. They should have known better. Somebody should have noticed something was wrong. They should have asked for a second opinion. It was ridiculous. I was shook that they didn't push harder for gestational diabetes testing, and all of the things because clearly at this point, I realized that my blood sugars being in control has made all of the difference. Not knowing, you can't do what you need to do which is why I'm such a big advocate for informed consent and gestational diabetes testing. I know sometimes I see people saying that they want to skip it because they are fine. I had zero of the actual risk factors, and I still had it. I'm just putting that out there. That's my main thing for this. Definitely get checked, and stay active, and watch your blood sugars because it's a really, really serious thing. I literally almost died. Sorry, I keep jumping around. My son was measuring small, so they started doing all of the tests and everything, and they couldn't find anything wrong. They were like, “Your cord dopplers look great. The blood flow looks great. Nothing specifically is measuring small. His head is not measuring smaller than the rest of him.” He was very, very, very low in my pelvis. I was waddling from 32 weeks on. He was low the entire time. I could feel him moving regularly. He was super active. I felt confident in myself. I felt safe. I felt good. they were telling me he was fine. Everything was looking fine. My fluid levels were looking good. My non-stress tests were always good. They make you sit for a minimum of 20 minutes, and if they don't see what they need to see in 20 minutes, then you need to stay longer. I never had to stay longer than 20 minutes. It was always in and out. He was always moving. His heart rate was always good. When they started mentioning induction at 37 weeks, I was like, “I don't want to be induced. I don't. There's really no reason.” They were like, “Well, he's measuring small. Your other baby last time was so much bigger. He is so small. This is such a concern.” I was like, “But I think there was something wrong with me and my baby last time. I don't think she should have been that big for me.” I thought that was the problem. I tried explaining that to them that I think they had it backward. They should have been concerned about how big my last baby was because they didn't check my blood sugar when I was in the hospital or anything. They didn't check it. Everything was fine. I was feeling fine. I was having pretty regular Braxton Hicks still. I was convinced I was going to have him early. I told him that. “I will have him early, and you're not going to have to induce me. I promise you. You're not going to have to induce me.” I told the doula that I promised the doctors and the specialists that I was not going to have to be induced. She was on my side. She was like, “Okay. We can try some midwives' brew if we get to that point. We'll talk about it.” I didn't end up getting to that point, thankfully. I had another scan at 37 weeks and 36 weeks. At 37 weeks, the doctor was like, “Okay, well, I specifically want to see you next week. I want you to come out to my other office next week because I specifically want to see you. I don't want you to see the other doctors. I want to follow up with you.” I was like, “Fine. I'll drive to Rosedale. No problem.” It wasn't farther than the other office I had been going to. I didn't get that far. I went into labor at 37 and 6. It had been a normal day. I had taken my daughter to the jumping place and had gone to the grocery store. I messed up when I went to the grocery store and the jumping place. I parked too far out, and I didn't think it through. I jumped near the jumping door, not the grocery door. Walking in was super close, but then I had to walk all the way back carrying my groceries. The carts didn't go out that far or anything. I'm like, “Oh my gosh. This is so heavy.” I'm still having Braxton Hicks the whole time. I'm feeling fine. I haven't had any kind of mucus plug activity or none of that. There was no swelling in my feet or legs. My blood pressure had been good. I checked it regularly. My blood sugar had been good. I had checked it regularly. I get home, and I'm like, “Man, I'm tired.” I got up, and I kept doing laundry and stuff. My husband gets home from work. He's like, “Hey, do you want to go out to dinner? We can go to the restaurant up the street.” I'm like, “Yeah, it's a beautiful day out. It's the beginning of May. That's a great idea.”It's a 3-minute walk from my house to the restaurant. I'm not kidding. About halfway there, I stopped, and I was like, “Oh. Well, that one was a little more uncomfortable than they have been. Okay. I actually felt that.” It felt like a bad period cramp, but also tightening with the Braxton Hicks at the same time. I was like, “I'm fine.” I kept walking. We get to dinner, and I notice at that point, I'm having mild contractions every 10 minutes. We ate food. I had sushi, and I know that rice spikes my blood sugar, so I try not to eat too much of it, but I was like, “You know what? I feel like I'm going to have them. I just need to make sure that I eat.” I ate my dinner. We walked back home. It was still about every 10-12 minutes that I was having mild contractions. We went about the evening as normal. I put my daughter to bed and stuff. I took a shower. My husband and I were watching some TV. I was bouncing on the ball. I wasn't really telling my husband that I was super uncomfortable at that point yet. It hit all of a sudden. It was 11:00 PM. At this point, it was 6:00 PM when I felt the first slightly uncomfortable contraction. It's now 11:00 PM. I'm like, “Okay. This is actually starting to get a little bit more uncomfortable.” I got up, and I paced around the living room. My husband was like, “Uh-oh. We should probably go to bed.” Yeah, we should probably go to bed. That was a good idea. We went to bed, and I did not sleep. I think I slept for about seven minutes because at that point, it went to seven minutes, not 10 minutes. I started timing them on my phone. I texted my doula. I made sure I had all of my stuff ready just to be safe. I made sure the house was picked up. I tried to sleep. I let the doula what was going on. She was like, “Don't worry about timing them, just get some rest.” I was like, “I'm not trying to time them, but every time I have one, I look up and I see the clock. This is happening.” She was like, “Okay, well I'll start getting up, and I'll be ready to head over if you need me. I want you to take a shower.” It took me a good 45 minutes or a half hour or something like that to actually get from hanging around my house to getting in the shower because I started shaking really bad, and I was starting to have contractions pretty quick together. They started getting closer and closer together. My husband ended up texting her at that point, “Hey, she's int he shower. I think contractions are getting closer together. They are two minutes apart at this point. You should probably head over.” She gets here pretty quickly. My daughter is still asleep. At that point, my doula was like, like, “Yeah, I think you're in active labor. We should think about heading to the hospital.” I'm only 10 minutes from the hospital, but my daughter needed to get picked up. I put my bag in the car. We call family. I get my daughter picked up. She hadn't heard anything. She hadn't noticed I was in labor. I wasn't being necessarily loud, but I wasn't also being super quiet or anything. She gets picked up. She's mad she's awake. It's 2:00 AM. We get ready to go, and by the time we get down the stairs, because I live in an upstairs apartment, so I'd been pacing the whole upstairs in my apartment and everything, I was super afraid my water was going to break in the car so I put on a Depends because I was like, “I'm not going to have to clean that up later because I'm going to be the one cleaning it up later, and I don't want to have to deal with that.” My doula was like, “Chris, get her a bag in case she throws up in the car. Let's go.” She tried checking my blood pressure, but I kept moving and stuff, so we couldn't get an accurate reading which made me that much more anxious. I was so afraid that by the time I got there, everything was going ot go bad. I had convinced myself that it was fine, but there was this nagging voice in my head that was like, “No, no, no, no, no. Everything went wrong last time, so surely, you are going to die this time.” I was like, “Nope. I am fine. Everything has been fine. They are aware. They have blood on deck for me. It's going to be okay. I've got this.” We get to the hospital. It's 3:00 in the morning. It's fairly quiet. We parked in the parking garage which was across the street. We walked through the parking garage. We take the elevator. We take the walk bridge across. We get into the hospital, check in with security and everything. they were like, “Oh, sweetie, do you want a wheelchair?” My doula was like, “No, no, no. She's fine. She will walk.” I'm like, “Yeah, okay Heidi. Walking is a great idea.” I mean, that's what she's there for. It's fine that I kept walking, honestly, because we had to walk from one side of the hospital to the elevator to take the special elevator that goes to the 6th floor. We're about halfway to the elevator, and I'm like, “Oh, I think my water just broke.” My water broke walking into the hospital which was that much more convenient. We get in. We get checked into triage. The nurse is so nice, and she was like, “It's okay if you want to give me a hug,” because they wouldn't let my husband or my doula in at first. I gave the nurse a hug. She was so nice. They were like, “We need a urine sample.”At that point, basically, from the time labor started, I couldn't pee. That was an issue, so they were like, “Don't worry about it. It's fine. Let's get you back on the bed. Let's check on you, and see how you are doing.” They said I was a 4 or a 5 depending on who checked and who assessed.They asked me about pain medication and stuff, and I was like, “I'll get back to you. I'm doing okay.” Contractions are about every 2-3 minutes at this point. My water had broken on the way in. They tried doing one of the swabs to check it was my water and not that you peed, and the nurse was like, “I'm not even going to send this in. It's fine. I know that it's your water.” They got me in pretty quickly. By the time I got into a room, I was like, “I would like some pain medication please.” They were like, “Okay, do you want an epidural? Do you want IV medication?” I remembered when I was in labor with my daughter, the nurse had initially offered me what was called a walking epidural, so I asked because I remembered declining that with my daughter. I was like, “No, no, no. I don't want to do anymore walking. That's the point. I don't want walking. no walking.” This time, I was like, “That actually sounds like I wanted to know more about that.” I asked the nurse more about it. She was like, “It's still an epidural. It's put in your back the same. It's just different medication. It's lower doses or different medication or whatever it is. It's going to provide some pain relief, but you're not going to be numb. You're still going to feel everything.” I was like, “Honestly, that sounds like what I would like. That sounds like it's a really good idea.” I was having a very hard time taking a deep breath. I was having a very hard time relaxing because I was so afraid that something was going to go wrong. At that point, my blood pressure was fantastic. Everything had been normal. No protein in my urine, no swelling, no high blood sugars, nothing. I was like, “Okay, this is going to be fine. I'm going to be fine.” I felt a little weird about asking for pain medication because I was adamant that this time, I was going to do it without it, but they called the anesthesiologist. He comes in, and he says, “Okay, are you sure you want the walking epidural? That's definitely not going to get you were you want to be pain-wise.” I was a little ticked off, but I was like, “Just get me what I asked for, please. If I change my mind, I will tell you.” That's the thing. If you change your mind, all they have to do is switch up your medication. It's not continuous with what I got. It's just a bolus of medication, and the little thing is taped on your back. You're not actually hooked up to medication or anything, but if I wanted to be, all they had to do was hook it up. I was like, “I'm fine. I don't need that. Thanks, dude.” They get me that, and they made me stay in bed for the first hour just to make sure I was okay and my blood pressure was fine and everything. My blood pressure was fine. Everything stayed fine. My blood sugar was a little high at this point. It was two points over the max where they want it to be. My husband ran down to the gift shop and got me some trail mix, cheese, and meat things. I ate that. They checked my blood sugar in a little bit, and it was back to a healthy, happy, normal range, so they weren't concerned. I was like, “I ate rice the night before, guys. That's all it was. You checked my blood sugar in the middle of the night after I had rice. Of course, it's going to be a little high.” At this point, it's 4:00 AMish. I stayed in bed for the first hour. My doula was like, “Okay, let's get you out of bed. Let's get you moving.” I was out of bed almost the whole time. I did spend a little bit more time in bed at one point. I had the initial bolus of medication. That was all I had, so at this point, I can feel the contractions are getting stronger, and I can also feel that the medication is also starting to wear off. It started getting more intense. I was on the toilet for a minute. I was still having the issue where I still could not go pee. My doula kept feeding me water after every contraction, so they were keeping an eye on that. My doula was keeping an eye on that and stuff. It got to where it was 8:00 AM, I think, so at this point, I had been in labor for a total of– from the time contractions actually started being painful at midnight to 8:00 AM– 8 hours. I was on the side of the bed leaned over the bed. They had it at my height. My husband was rubbing my back. The nurses were there taking care of me and making sure I was good. All of a sudden, she's like, “Okay, honey, I think it's time to get you back in the bed.” I was like, “What?” She was like, “We've got to get you back in the bed. With the noises you're making, and squatting down, we've got to get you back in bed.” With every contraction, I was bearing down. Meagan: And they just didn't want you pushing standing up, type of thing? Abigail: I think they wanted to check me and see how I was doing and everything. They had me on continuous monitoring, which initially I didn't really want, but up until that point, I hadn't minded the monitors. It was just at that point because I kept moving, and I was so sweaty. I was so sweaty. My IV kept slipping off. The monitors kept slipping off. My gown was drenched. My hair was drenched. They kept re-taping my IV, and I was like, “Can you please just take the IV out? It's bugging me.” At that point, the IV was somehow more painful than the labor. I was coping with labor, but I kept feeling the IV in my arm because they kept having to poke it and mess with it and stuff because it wasn't staying in. They ended up leaving it in which I was annoyed with, but I was in and out of at that point.They get me back in the bed, and they check me. They're like, “Okay. You're already starting to push. Let's get the doctor in here. Let's do this.”I'm on the bed. I've got the squat bar. I'm up on the bed on the squat bar. I'm kneeling in a lunge position. I've got one knee up and one knee down. Every contraction, they were having me switch my knees which started getting really uncomfortable for me. I felt so heavy, and I was falling asleep in between each contraction it felt like. I wasn't all the way there, but they ended up saying that my son's heart rate was dropping just a little bit, and they were like, “Okay, let's get him out. Let's move this along.” They pulled the squat bar, and they had me on my back. The bed was propped up. I was upright, and they had me holding my own legs. I was having a hard time because I was so sweaty that my hands kept slipping off the back of my thighs. They were like, “Okay, you need to push. Let's push.” I wasn't really listening to them. They were trying to do coached pushing, but if I didn't feel like it, I just wasn't doing what they were telling me. I was more listening to my doula than anything else because I felt like I trusted her and what she was saying more than anything else. I told them, I was like, “I feel like it's pulling up. I feel like it's pulling up.” They were like, “Okay, lower your legs a little bit.” It was really nice that I was able to feel everything. I put my legs down a little bit, and that helped a little bit. I don't know exactly how many pushes it was. I don't know if anybody counted, but it ended up being 13 minutes that I pushed for from the time they got me in the bed and were like, “Okay, you're pushing,” to “Let's get you on your back. Give a couple good pushes.” I think it was two pushes once I was on my back and he was out. Meagan: That's awesome. Abigail: He came right out. I had a small right inner labial tear, no perineal tears, and then I don't think I actually tore up, but I noticed I was sore afterward up toward my urethra, but they ended up only giving me one stitch on my right labia. That was fine. They did numbing shots and everything for that, and I could feel the numbing shots and everything, and I didn't like that. It's uncomfortable, but it was fine. I felt fine. I felt good. They put him right onto my abdomen because his cord was so short that they couldn't put him any further up. I wish they would have waited just a little longer to cut his cord, but they were like, “He's hanging out down here where we need to be,” because his cord was so short, which makes sense that he was head down the entire pregnancy and didn't move. He stayed right there. He flipped and rotated. Meagan: Transverse. Abigail: Sideways. He would put his butt back sometimes and toward the side sometimes, but that's all he would do. His head was in my pelvis the entire time. He comes out. Once they cut his cord, they moved him up to my chest and everything. They got me cleaned up and everything. Everything was fine. I got my golden hour, and he didn't want to nurse right away, but he was fine. They were taking bets like, “Does he look like he's over 6 pounds or what?” He ended up only being 5 pounds, 5 ounces. Meagan: Tiny. Abigail: He was a little, tiny guy. He was barely 18 inches. I had him right at 38 weeks, so he was a little small. He was closer to the size of a 35-week baby. Meagan: Mhmm, and he had IUGR. Abigail: I don't think there was anything wrong with him. I think I'm a very small person, and I think my first baby was too big because when I look at pictures, my daughter's head was coned off to the side, and I know that she did not have room to move around in there. She was stuck where she was stuck. Meagan: That would mean it was asynclitic probably. Her head was coming down wrong. Abigail: Yeah, which is probably why it hurt so bad. I know that now, initially, it started even with early labor. I don't think that even once I had an epidural with her, they were using the peanut ball. They were changing my positions. They were doing all of the things, and she wasn't coming down any further. She wasn't moving, and I wasn't going past a 7. I think that she was too big which I think is from having unchecked gestational diabetes. Even though she was considered an average-sized baby. I'm not an average-sized person. I'm really, really, really small. Me having a 5-pound, 5-ounce baby seems about right.He came out perfectly healthy. There was nothing wrong with him. His blood sugars were good. His blood pressures were good. Everything was great. And now at seven months, he's still slightly on the smaller side, but he went from being in the 2nd or 3rd percentile or whatever he was born into all the way to about the 20th. He's almost caught up. He's healthy. He's chunky. There wasn't actually anything going on with him. I think that says a lot to the fact that I'm just really small and my first baby was the result of an unhealthy pregnancy. I didn't have a postpartum hemorrhage. I didn't need any extra medication. I didn't need Pitocin. I didn't end up getting a full epidural. When they asked me about my experience, I made sure to tell them that the anesthesiologist should choose his words more wisely. It went well. I waited two months afterward to see how I was feeling and everything, and I do not have postpartum depression. Meagan: Good. Abigail: No more anxiety than what I regularly deal with. I have had a great time. Everything is just completely different, and my son is already seven months old, and I am already at a point where I'm like, “I want another baby.” I don't know if I'll actually have another one or not. I mean, there are financial reasons to consider and actually giving birth to another baby and raising another human. It's not just a baby. It's a whole other life. It's a lot, but I have baby fever already. I would absolutely do it again, and I just had him. Meagan: Oh, that makes me so happy. I am so happy that you had such a better experience that was more healing and positive and has left you having a better postpartum for sure. Abigail: It was a completely different experience. I mean, night and day. I'm just trying to make sure that I didn't miss anything. I think the only thing that ended up being different was like I mentioned, I couldn't really go pee. I did end up having to have a catheter at the end of my labo

I don't know about you, but there are multiple Corvettes I'd love to own.  Honestly, I'd love to have one of every generation! But for me, there is not enough money to go around to purchase a Corvette from every generation.  That's where Woodside Credit comes in. Qasim Shirazi, the Midwest District Sales Manager joins your CORVETTE TODAY host, Steve Garrett, to explain what's hot in Corvette purchasing marketplace, what Corvettes hold the best value right now and when it's best to purchase a Corvette! If you're like me and are looking to purchase the next Corvette in your stable, you'll want to hear what "Q" has to say on this episode of CORVETTE TODAY!

Nicholas "Harry" Callas reacts to the Steelers' 28-14 loss to the Baltimore Ravens in the NFL playoffs on Saturday.

Momma Carson.Based on a post by FinalStand, in 13 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. Since a quick 'cool down' in the pool seemed like a Great idea at that instant, I sidled down the sofa and retrieved swimming trunks from my book bag. Though not Speedos, Brandy still approved. This also allowed me to 'clean up' with my underwear then stow it away in the plastic bag the trunks had come in.‘Okay,' she rang out once we were back in shirts and shorts. Mamma Carson came into view and all the blood which had been struggling back up to my brain raced to my enraged cock. Brandy's Mom was wearing a light grey sports bra, with nipples poking out invitingly, matching boy shorts, with clearly evident camel toe, and; ah; petite workout moccasins? That's what they looked like anyway. She completed the ensemble with a baby blue hair bow holding most of her hair back and a matching linen towel over her right shoulder.Undoubtedly; I was drooling.‘Mamma!' Brandy exclaimed in faux-surprise over 'Mamma's' attire.‘I just wanted to work out in the home gym and to know if you wanted to join me; like old times,' Mrs. Carson asked all innocent-like. What Brandy said was a bit less innocent and way more indicative of Brandy's trust in me (or so I thought).‘Mamma, dressed that way; I'm afraid Vlad might rape you. I'm pretty sure his brother Mikhail will; if he sees you walking around dressed like that,' Brandy chortled. Jodi May Memphis Carson wasn't a believer so I turned to the woman whose opinion truly mattered.‘Can I? Can I? Can I?' I pleaded as I fell to my knees before Brandy. ‘Please, please, please! Can I have her?'‘What!' squawked Brandy even as her eyes shone with feverish glee.‘What?' gawked Jodi May, not wanting to comprehend the scene before her; and her powerlessness in it.‘She's, my, Mother,' Brandy put both fists on her hips and began scolding me.‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,' I rapidly nodded like a maddened Fool.‘What she said,' Mamma Carson affirmed.‘Don't you care that she's my Mamma?' Brandy's tone became teasing.‘I think it is extra-special that she's your mother,' I kept up the head-bobbing.‘But I'm; ah; older enough to be her Mother,' the older Carson protested.‘Yes,' I turned to Jodi May, ‘you are what I have to look forward to if we get married, Jodi May.' Then I added a bit of my newfound cunning by saying, ‘You are almost as good as the real Brandy to my way of thinking.'I turned back to My Girl because I wasn't sure how good my Poker Face was, or how good Jodi May was at reading the hearts of young men. In reality, I didn't want a Brandy substitute and would wait for the real Brandy to become available as opposed to 'settling'.That wasn't what both women had heard though. For Brandy, it was a cruelly landed barb; on the Mother who had slept with her previous beau; as if Darius hadn't bothered to both tell Brandy and demand she never reveal she knew; because he was that kind of twisted piece of work, poisoning Daughter against her Mother.Out of sight of Mamma, I crossed the first and fore fingers of my hands to create the '#' sign followed by a '1' as I mouthed 'girl'. She winked with her hooded, left eye to show she'd caught on to my game.‘Prince, don't get pouty,' Brandy stroked my cheek. ‘It is just that Darius used to tucker her out and you are easily twice the lover he ever was to me. I don't want you screwing her unconscious like you did me our first time either,' she added on, ‘on her first day back.'‘Brandy; what?' Jodi May mentally backpedaled. ‘Who told you such stuff?'‘Darius told me, Mamma. He even showed me a video of you, him and Rashaan in a three-way,' she undercut any further attempts at denial. ‘It's okay. I believed Darius' lies too and made even worse mistakes; like believing he cared about me as opposed to his real purpose; which was to hurt Daddy.'‘Baby, you can't; I mean; it was one mistake,' she evaded.‘He showed me two tapes,' Brandy looked saddened to catch her maternal champion in a lie.‘Brandy; I; ‘‘Mamma, I'm free of him now,' Brandy let a single tear track her cheek. ‘Vlad saved me.'I took this as my clue to rise up, stop playing the Clown and return to being her masculine Guardian and Protector. I wrapped Brandy up in both arms as she wrapped my waist up in hers. Soft kisses landed on the top of her head.‘Hey, Princess?'‘Yes Prince?'‘How about you go upstairs and get dressed for a gym workout and I'll stay down here with your mother and; ‘ I led off.‘Yes; and; ,' Brandy wiggled while she looked straight up into my gaze.‘I'll spank her until you return. Seems totally fair and unbiased to me.'‘Spanking my ass is not enough for you?' she sniffle-giggled.‘Wait? What? I get to spank both your asses?!?!?'‘No,' she protested. ‘You get to spank Mamma, but only until I get back.'‘Brandy!' Mom exclaimed.‘Mamma, I'll change real fast, I promise,' Brandy shot me another wink then sprinted off before there could be any other verbal roadblocks.More, as in more of Jodi MayA few seconds later;‘Young man, I am not going to let you spank me,' Jodi May announced.‘If you don't, can you imagine how much more disappointed in you Brandy will be when she gets back? Sleeping with Darius was a stupid thing to do, but you both know how charismatic he could be. Lying to her about what you did was dumber and overly cruel to a young woman who deserves the truth desperately,' I glared her way.‘That doesn't equate to me degrading myself before you,' she frowned.‘Oh, come on,' I attempted to placate the mother. ‘Just lay across my lap. I'll give one good smack when I hear her coming down the stairs and she'll be mollified.'Maybe I had a good Poker Face after all, or perhaps mine was yet another lie Jodi May wanted/choose to believe.‘Well, don't get slap happy,' she wagged a finger at me as she came around the sofa. She certainly walked slowly enough to hard-sell her reluctance.I languidly sat down, then beckoned her forward with my forefinger. Her eyes rolled heavenward at my theater even as she complied; by crawling across my lap. I held off my 'gulp' until she wasn't looking at me.Step 1: I held my palms upraised and clasped together in supplication and prayer while whispering, ‘Таксиарх Архангел Михаил, за то, что я собираюсь получить, я смиренно благодарен.' ‘Taksiarkh Arkhangel Mikhail, za to, chto ya sobirayus' poluchit', ya smirenno blagodaren.'‘Are you saying Grace over my Behind?' she looked over her shoulder at me, somewhat caught between cross and bemused.‘Your whole body, Ma'am. Your whole body and it is only fitting and proper that I do so. Anything less would be sacrilegious in the extreme,' I smiled. Jodi May smirked. She shouldn't have been so confident.Step 2 saw me putting my left forearm casually over her shoulder blades. Now she was tensing up and becoming physically uneasy, but too late for that.Step 3 and I began massaging her buttocks.‘Hey! What are you doing?' she hissed. Her attempts to rise were countered by me applying pressure with my forearm. My right hand rose and came down with a resounding 'Smack!' ‘Ow! What the; ‘‘It should be obvious,' I humored her. ‘I lied. You've been bad. Worse, you've been bad to Brandy in my presence and I'm not going to tolerate that, not for one second. Clear enough?'‘Let go,' she struggled valiantly. ‘I said; Ow! Ugh,' she sniffled as a second blow was followed by a third in rapid succession.‘Next time it will be three and the number keeps going on up, got it?' I stated. She hesitated so my right hand rose.‘Yes,' she yielded cautiously.‘Okay. Here are the new Ground Rules. Brandy is the Lady of this House, not you. You ran off while she stayed. Play nice and my family will work overtime to not make things even worse between you and your husband when he returns. Cross any of us, or Brandy, and you have no clue how bad it will get,' I began.‘And if I say 'no' are you going to continue to beat me?' she challenged. Down came three hard blows on her luscious posterior which vibrated deliciously with each impact.‘Ow, ow, Ow!' she teared up. ‘Stop! Please stop!' It would have been more convincing if I hadn't spotted her hands sneaking back. I foresaw ten sets of claw marks in my near future if I wasn't careful.Down came four painful blows with the accompanying highly vocal protests.‘Hands over your head,' I demanded in a harsh, unforgiving tone. ‘Five, four, three; ‘I could see her contemplate trying to scarify me then think better of it. My pain tolerance was an unknowns while she was approaching hers. Up her hands went.‘Good girl,' I leaned forward and cooed into her hair from close above. ‘Cross your wrists and keep them that way.' Again, compliance with an undertone of a mare getting ready to bolt. ‘Raise your legs up on the sofa and cross your ankles. Keep them that way.' At this point she realized she was stuck. There was going to be no quick getaway for her.‘Who is the Lady of the House?' I inquired softly.‘Brandy.'‘Not very convincing, but that will have to do for the moment,' I first caused her to coil from the expected painful spanking, then relax when she realized she'd gained a respite. ‘I know you don't believe me for no reason which truly makes sense to me, but you don't. I'm okay with your current misconceptions about me.'I moved my hand under the elastic of her shorts.‘Hey,' she tried to raise her head up, stilling me with her gaze alone. My hand worked down to the crack of her ass then alternating along the sides instead of continuing 'deeper'. Once more, this was just a false hiatus as, with a few quick twists of my right wrist, I began working her shorts down until I had exposed her bare buttocks to me.Since the verbal and non-verbal roadblocks weren't working, she went for the straight physical denial by clamping her thighs shut. Thighs are stronger than arms, but you'd have had to have been a premier female bodybuilder to keep my questing fingers from between them and stop my progress at this late date; and Jodi May's figure was way too opulent for that's sport's discipline.‘While keeping your ankles crossed, move your knees apart,' I ordered. Finally she launched her all-out rebellion. I could have out-wrestled her three years ago and won without my current hellish advantages. I had Jodi May off the sofa and pinned, face-first, on the floor in ten seconds flat. Five blows to her scrumptious rear rained down. This time the resulting tears were very real.‘Okay; okay,' she sobbed.I made a production of getting off of her, resuming my seat then having her crawl back across my lap. This time she was utterly defeated and scared. Six blows were her 'reward'. The 'reward' was the playfulness of those feather-light touches of those faux-slaps to her abused flesh. ‘Ah, ah, ah; oh; ‘‘Raise up your tush.'Her ‘Why?' was quickly followed by my frown and then her instant compliance. Kisses replaced the palm of my hand as I blew gently and placed faint signs of affection on her posterior. My hand was busy going between her cheeks until my fingertips contacted moist labia-meat.‘Ah; should you? Brandy; back soon?' Jodi May whimpered.‘Who is the Lady of the House?'‘; Brandy?'‘Yes and it is up to Brandy to call me off. I know how long it takes for her to get dressed when she has sex on her mind, so I'm already aware she can intervene whenever she wishes to. This is Brandy's game, Jodi May, not yours, not mine.'I worked two fingers up to the first digit into her labia, feeling she was becoming quite wet. My thumb was tapping her sphincter as well. Jodi May was beginning to really get into it, adding a little push back to my play, when Brandy announced her presence.‘Hey guys. Whatchya doing?'I held Jodi May firm so all my mature victim could do was stay on all fours while I methodically finger fucked her from behind.‘Quick; let me up,' Jodi May urged me quietly, yet without much conviction.‘No.'‘Mamma; Vlad?' Brandy glided down the stairs and fully into view. I had been prepared for more of a fight from Mrs. Carson than she'd put up, which was for damn sure. Jodi May gracefully slid off the sofa, dragging a throw pillow with her and then buried her face in it, more a feeble effort at hiding than any real attempt to break our coupling.I couldn't have been more baffled though I felt compelled to follow to keep my position via-a-via her body.'She's been lonely,' Brandy mouthed to me followed by, ‘Vlad, that's my Mother!''Huh?' from me.'Don't stop', then ‘get off of her right now, Mister!' Fortunately, I figured out which sets of lips to obey; Brandy's silent ones and Jodi May's lower, gooey ones. Her upper ones were beginning to make subdued little moaning noises.‘Oh Mamma, is my Prince being mean to you?' my Lady knelt by her mother's head.‘He spanked me badly,' the older lady mumbled into the pillow.‘Vlad, make it up to her,' Brandy turned to me. Her insistent tone was undermined by her wink.‘I like where I am,' I defied her then mouthed, 'what do I do?'‘None of that backtalk, Mister,' she waggled a finger at me. ‘Get those magic lips to work this instant,' the finger pointed toward her mother's hindquarters.‘And if I don't?' I scoffed. Then, 'I love you.'‘Then that cock of yours is blocked from ALL the ladies this weekend; Oh Vlad who is living Vicariously,' she shot me a sly smile. 'I love you too.'‘Ouch!' I emoted as I recoiled. ‘Princess; that's harsh,' followed by a double eyebrow pump and 'anything for you.'‘Brandy; I (sniff) don't; want (sniffle); him to; oh; ah; oh, stop that Vlad,' Jodi May protested.While Mamma Carson had been voicing her dissent, I had been shuffling down the length of the sofa. Quickly enough I maneuvered myself into a position where I could begin planting kisses on her abused heinie, all the while keeping my fingers gracefully playing in her cunny and across her anal frontiers. I began adding little flicks of my tongue as I'd had something similar done to me once, during my first time with a professional. That one could arouse with just her lips, teeth and tongue in ways I'd never imagined.‘Oh; he shouldn't be doing that,' Jodi May murmured. ‘Make him stop.'During this appeal, I was petting her along her spine until she got the hint I wanted her to bow her back to give me better access to her girly bits.‘No, Mamma. Vlad has to learn his lesson. He can't take you, or any woman; but especially not us Carson women; for granted,' Brandy insisted.'You sure; about this?' I checked.'I want Mamma to stay home, Prince,' she smiled somewhat tearfully. I sensed she'd had words with Mikhail and Taliyah before returning. My youngest triplet must have been deadly insistent about the power of 'my love', which healed her heart, being able to rejuvenate her mother of whatever emotional maledictions had aided her departure from this household, things I was still largely unaware of.Twenty seconds of oral succulence later; 'I don't have a condom'.Brandy had coaxed her mother to turn her head sideways on the pillow, facing Brandy's lap though Jodi May's eyes were closed. Brandy, for her part, was in navy blue butt shorts and a blue sports bra (I figured from Brandy's desire to color coordinate) and a white, sleeve-less t-shirt with blue stripes down the sides.'She's on birth control.''This may get more than a bit weird. (Are you) sure about this?''Come back to me, Vlad.''Always, Princess.'A stellar smile followed my promise to her, then it was 'back to work' (though I hardly thought of my sexual activities in such a manner.)Honestly, Jodi May had a way more developed sense of what she liked and how to get me to go where she wanted to me to go than any other Arkansas woman I'd been with to date. She wasn't all that bashful, or clumsy about it, either. There was a magical grace to her responses which later left me amazed how she led me to her first orgasm without me realizing she was definitely leading our carnal cavorting.Hmm; my mind was recovering; in that I could create more wordy prose while simultaneously working my neck (I was on my stomach behind her by this time, propped up on my elbows), nose, mouth, fingers and tongue. I was still the composer, creating the movement for the orchestra to play, but she was the body of music, filling the auditorium of our love-making with a tantalizing harmonic melody. I couldn't tear myself away.For her part, Jodi May made sure to rub her vaginal fluids over my face from eyebrow ridge to the stubble beneath my chin (hey! I'd hurried to get over here). All I could taste and smell was her womanly aroma; a richer, raw maple syrupy smell combined with scallops; which I quickly came to adore.I got a mouth and two cheeks full when she orgasmed and she got to howl into her pillow while Brandy, now the maestro of this little performance, appeared surprised by her ever-growing, new-found power over the people who had such an emotional impact on her life. Brandy was In Charge!I was lapping away like some overly friendly Saint Bernard the juices which had escaped my gullet as Jodi May coasted down from her post-coitus euphoria. Then Mother began crying to daughter and daughter to Mother.‘I'm so sorry, Baby Boo,' Mamma addressed her offspring. ‘I tore everything apart.'‘You did, Mamma,' Brandy petted her hair, ‘but if you hadn't run off with Mr. Jenks, Senior Deputy Samsonov wouldn't have applied for his job, gotten it and the Samsonov's wouldn't have stayed. I would have been under Darius' thumb; as would have the whole school. You hurt me and Daddy plenty, yet; in the Greater Scheme of Things; it worked out better for me and Daddy with the new friends we've made.'‘That's a beautiful way of looking at my screw-up,' Jodi May's eyes opened in more ways than one way. Brandy was acting in a more self-possessed manner at this moment than she ever had before. Jodi had left a girl subjugated by a villain and come back to a women partnered with a man whom she loved and who loved her. Our strong bond powered everything else.‘You still hurt Daddy and for that you must atone, Mamma,' Brady frowned slightly.‘Atone; ah; like punish me?' Mamma didn't seem all that distressed.‘Yes. We can go back to your present room and cut up all your racy dresses, or you can promise to never leave the house without me, or Pa; or you could let Vlad be so terribly mean to you that you never forget who really cares for you,' Brandy laid out the choices. My girl had it going on!‘Terribly mean,' Jodi May flashed me a famished look, ‘like what he is doing to me right now?'‘Oh yes; just like this plus much, much worse,' Brandy feigned innocence.‘How much worse?' Mrs. Carson hid her smile well.‘Stay right there and find out,' I joined in. I finished rolling her from leaning to one side to over on her back with my kisses falling down on her still micro-trembling thighs.‘One thing though, Mamma,' Brandy grew steely.‘Yes.'‘Daddy doesn't want you around us no more.'‘Let me deal with; ‘‘No,' Brandy put her foot (knee) down. ‘You broke Daddy's heart for the last time with your cheating ways. Hell, I became a cheater too, and I think you are somewhat to blame for that as well; me going behind his back to keep dating Darius.'‘Honey Child, those are adult things,' Mamma tried to both mollify her baby while seduce me with a host of non-verbal clues.‘No, Mamma. Not anymore. I'm 18 now and I think I know what is going on. Daddy won't take you back and back into his bed, never. If you promise me and him you will behave; ‘‘I'm your Mother,' Jodi May grew frosty up top while keeping steamy and inviting below.‘And I am your Daughter and I'm telling you if you try to romance Dad, you can't win. You will cheat again and he'll detonate in a big way. Then he will take you to Divorce Court and destroy us as a family. I don't want that.'Brandy Crystal Carson.Jodi May wasn't overly groomed in the pelvic region, but it wasn't too much to deal with either. It was natural and womanly, very fitting for the untamed, sumptuous tableau of maverick charms she presented to me.‘I'll behave, Brandy Crystal Carson,' Mamma shifted around so could place one hand over her heart. ‘I swear. This time things will be different.'‘Yes. Yes, they will. Mamma, in this instant, you can stop having sex with Vlad and have sex with no other until Daddy decides to take you back to his bed, you can keep whoring around until Daddy gets so ashamed by it, he tosses you out for good, or; ‘‘Or; ?' Jodi May was somewhat less than the authoritative persona she wanted and needed to put forth to be the master/mistress the situation at this point.‘Or, we let you have sex with Vlad; and his two, identical brothers, Mikhail and Alexander, but only them.'I struggled mighty hard to not let the 'Hey now! Don't we (my Brothers and I) get a vote in this?' push the current wolfish cravings for more Jodi May off my face and to alter my demeanor from covetous carnivore to caring boyfriend. I already knew Mikhail's vote would be a 'Hell yeah!', but Alexander? Me? I found myself gradually going serpentine up my current partner's body.‘Vladimir; Vlad, you can't be okay with this?' Jodi May's eyes riveted me. Only the truth would do so I went for the most effective bit of truth.‘Brandy Crystal Carson is my Lady on my arm and my Whore in my bedroom, Jodi May. She has entered the tiny group of people whose opinions I give a damn about, and the only one of the four who isn't blood-related. That is how much I value your daughter's council, advice and personal direction when I need it.'‘So you are just going to let her tell you who you can and can't sleep with; for real; ‘‘Abso-fucking-lutely, Mrs. Carson. That is because it isn't about the fucking; it is about the happiness. I'm happiest when my world collapses down to just Brandy and me.'‘I'm happiest when she smiles at me when I've done a good thing. I'm happiest when she is so hoarse from screaming out her orgasms she can't enunciate clearly, or even move, after one of our ferocious rounds of love-making. In essence: Brandy = my happiness; so yes, I give everything she recommends to me great weight.'‘In this case,' I ran my tongue up between her gently sagging mounds of mountainous breast tissue, ‘she is telling me what will make her happy; having sex with a 'loyal' you; and; not having sex with a disloyal you; makes her happy.' I paused for several seconds to glomb onto her right nipple and playfully suckle upon it. Her legs, already open, allowed her heels to start working over the sides of my calves and the back of my knees.‘I could wake up in the morning and have sex with your daughter, Mrs. Carson. We could chase one another around, frolic and have sex all over whichever domicile we found ourselves in; and if I did it for a hundred years, I would never get bored with Brandy, or want to anything except make her joyous inside and out,' I finished up.Jodi May had three options to believe in:~ I could still be a standard milksop White Boy despite the preponderance of evidence to the contrary,~ The entire political-racial-sexual landscape had turned topsy-turvy in her short (6 month) absence,~ Or I was actually a Big Black Cock Monster in disguise (the third one was Mikhail's spin on things, I swear).I had another issue, rug burn and my desire to avoid it for both of us.‘A Prize like you shouldn't be nailed to Kingdom Come on the floor like some common floozy,' I declared. ‘Here,' I slipped on hand under Jodi May's tailbone, lifting her up and pressing her into me. ‘Wrap your arms around my neck,' I commanded 'my prize'.‘Umm,' she gasped as her body clove to mine. ‘You certainly are; ah; strong.'‘I 'pry free' ladies who Society mistakenly believes have become 'Black-owned' on a regular basis, I wrestle said 'Black' rascals down until they cry out 'I'm an Uncle Tom' and I show those women the powerful lineage of Valhalla hasn't gone from this world quite yet; though not necessarily in that order,' I bullshitted some stuff together.‘Vlad; that's gosh-darn racist; except the last part. That didn't make too much sense, but; I think I liked it,' Mamma Carson salivated over every turn of the phrase. Me being 'racist' definitely wasn't a deal-breaker for her and the Valhalla nonsense glossed over my ancestors confused relationship with those Scandinavians who came a vikinging to the East over a millennia ago.I hefted her up abruptly, spun on one knee and deposited her on her rump on the edge of the sofa cushions.‘Aie!' she squealed in surprise. Off-guard, she posed no resistance as I made my final approach. I aimed my cockhead at her glistening vulva with my left hand while pushing her left leg away while keeping the knee locked. ‘What?'‘How do you want it?' I growled. ‘Hard and brutal, or slow and gentle?'‘How about I show you how I like it?' she purred. It was hard to argue with her kind of counter-proposal. Her right-hand's fingernails trailed down my shoulders, upper arm and the over to my waist to guide me into her designated pace of her penetration.I'll give her this much, until the tenth cycle she held it together better than her daughter. Afterwards, the newness of her vaginal walls undulating around my veined shaft caused her breath to catch and her hands to grab my ass, drawing me in ever deeper.‘Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, Yip!' she went off after I accidently pushed passed her cervix.I was certain, just like Brandy with Darius, Mr. Jenks had most likely gone before where I was going now. The 'new' was her cervix massaging my glans and the area right behind the head like a mini-handjob (for me) /pleasurable vibrator-to-the-uterus' entrance (for her). I didn't look like the biggest, or thickest piece of Man-Meat she'd ever encountered so;‘IN-tense, isn't it, Mamma?' Brandy appeared on the sofa beside us. I was still kneeling on the floor, I had mother's legs spread in a wide 'V' and was beginning to pick up our tempo as the interrogation began.‘Hush, Baby (gasp), Mamma is; oh Lord,' she mumbled, ‘I'm; oh; my; Vlad; slow down.'Innocent trust required me to slow down. My nascent woman-sense told me to do the opposite. I slowly pulled back; then hungrily drove home deep. Jodi May grunted as her eyes, once shuttered, sprang wide open. I followed that up with small, rapid repetitions interspersed with gyrating the sensation inward, my pubic bone on her clitoral region. My partner's legs flexed even wider, her head flew back, bow keeping her hair from going wild and her eyes squeezed shut.To add to the stimulation, I latched on to her right breast, suckling the whole areola and nipple into my mouth. Brandy took the left nipple between two fingers and began pinching it and rolling it between them.‘Gurr; ‘ my first thought was 'when did the Carson's get a cat?'‘Gurr; ‘; 'Holy Shit! How did a puma get in here?'And the resulting caterwauling Yowl was the scariest, female Big Cat noise I'd ever heard; and that was Jodi May Memphis Carson having a no-holds-bared Orgasm as her body flushed ruddy, sweat perspired all over, her back painfully bowed and of course, she screamed out to High Heavens like no human I'd ever heard.I lost it. I was shooting off semen deep into her uterus as her cervix was once more grappling with my glans. I had no care in that instant where, or what I was doing. I was a spectator being taken along for the ride though I wasn't hemmed-in in any physical way.‘Holy Shit, Bro!' Mikhail laughed loudly. ‘Delivering from Downtown!' I think he was referencing a long 3-point shot in basketball, but I was too sonically concussed to be sure.‘Take notes,' Taliyah repeated her refrain.Those two had come downstairs after Brandy and, it appeared, had been quietly watching us as events unfolded.‘Brandy, is everything okay?' sounded off Noémie Lucie from the far side hallway, the one which led to the stairs down to the lower level which included the space the other cheerleaders had been sleeping. Oh boy. Explaining this was going to be a peach.Who is here to chaperone whom?(11:30 poolside at the Carson Home.)It made perfect sense Sheriff 'Big Bob' Carson wouldn't trust his home solely to his 'somewhat independent-minded' daughter when she was having thirteen friends over for a Saturday Night party. While Taliyah could show up whenever she wanted since she and Brandy were lifelong Besties, the whole crowd showing up on Friday night was completely unofficial; so he'd asked an adult, or two, to chaperone tonight.No, he hadn't handed that heavy responsibility over to us equally hormonal, 18 year old triplets; as we were considered one of the hazards which needed to be chaperoned against. Nope; if we'd been able to roll all our lives back one whole day and night, we would have seen the Sheriff having dinner with someone who fit the bill of 'perfect chaperone' (a single, adult female with a strong will, of pure moral fiber and a history of legalized violence; Big Bob was fully aware of our current extracurricular circumstances) with the sole exception she wasn't a friend, or even very much of an acquaintance; so he was asking a great deal of them.Thankfully, 'business' was keeping this person in our sleepy burgh of Kingston anyway and this would give her a perfect opportunity to interrogate some of the possible 'third parties' involved with the crime which had befallen poor Darius Pope and his busted-up buddies.Yep, Brandy's Papa had asked the AHP CID (Arkansas Highway Patrol Criminal Investigation Division) Sergeant Louisa Petrakis to 'babysit' his 18 year old daughter and her friends to make sure their partying remained PG-13. That, not some desire to twist up the criminal investigation into the Darius Pope matter, had been the reason he'd 'wined and dined' her Thursday night.She'd only agreed After she'd realized what a corrupt bunch of actors the Kingston PD was and gotten the implication the Sheriff couldn't even trust the majority of his own Deputies. To her this must have smelled like some political civil war a 'brewing; which was an unspoken menace her department was also supposed to combat.When political infighting oozed out into open law enforcement corruption cases, it hurt the State of Arkansas economically by making their home ground look less attractive to external investment and the ever-important tourist dollar. Part of a weekend with access to Big Bob's and the Mayor's daughters suddenly became very attractive to this half-Creole (US Coast Guard Officer on her mother's side) / half-Greek (her father was a Merchant Marine Captain); originally from Louisiana; law officer .She'd come to Arkansas for UA (University of Arkansas) Sociology and Criminal Justice program and stayed to pursue a career in state law enforcement plus a LLM (Master of Law) from her alma mater on the road to joining the Department of Homeland Security working cases involving international law. Yep; ambitious beyond the norm.She chose an electric blue one piece; which was nothing but string from behind; very cheeky and what she claimed was the only suit in her size available on such short notice. I thought my brothers and I should pay homage to the Swimsuit Goddesses, if that was the true, because Sgt. Louisa was truly luscious.Of course, 14 to 1 odds was asking a lot of anyone so Big Bob had wrangled (rather easily) a supporting chaperone, my Mother (‘ah shit' was Mikhail's heartfelt and instantaneous reaction upon seeing her). She wasn't the primary chaperone because, as Big Bob told Ms. Louisa; ‘she's 100% loyal, brave and true, but 100% bat-shit crazy too.' Perfectly succinct and it rhymed.Mom; ugh; wore a red and white skimpy one-piece with a 'required' blue-with-one-white-star-over-each-breast bikini top. Very; umm; patriotic? Mom had a tight, lean-muscled physique. I had no doubt she was the most deceptively lethal human being present; in both age groups; and that included the people who knew she was crazy.Because the AHP Sergeant wasn't part of the Kingston/Davis County shit-storm, Mom felt safe secretly inviting two other women to this shindig. The first came so they could be seen publically feuding (by the cheerleaders) while they actually spent time building up a rapport. Mom was being asked to put aside a truckload of hate she'd been clutching to her bosom for over twenty years toward Dominique Fox Malik's husband, father and brother.For Dominique, she'd been raised on hating the Fonteneau in general and Gayle for 'lying' about the rape Mom had gone through (at the hands of 7 Black young men when she was fifteen) and Theo, her twin, for putting her brother in a coma he was still in all these years later. They'd hated one another by association longer than I'd been alive and now were trying to put their bile 'high on the back shelf' for their children's sake.Sure, Mom was tossing money and political clout Dominique's way, but the offer would never had been made and absolutely never accepted if Taliyah and Mikhail hadn't been so deeply and truly

We're out of the cup, but are we that bothered? Honestly. We played Coventry for what felt like the 18th time in the space of a year and we sat down to discuss that as well as our inability to defend from set-pieces AGAIN!patreon.com/wtidpodx.com/wtidpodwtidpod.myshopify.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Honestly, it's in the title. Business email: distractedconnections@gmail.com

When you think of the word “audacity,” what comes to mind? Honestly, for most of us, it's probably a negative connotation — as in, how do they have the audacity to do that? In her new book Cultivating Audacity: Dismantle Doubt and Let Yourself Win, Emmy Award-winning sports broadcaster Anne Marie Anderson is looking to reframe the word “audacity” into a positive, and something we all should be doing: being audacious enough to go for the big dream, the big goal, the big life. As she writes in Cultivating Audacity, which came out on January 1, “When the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of change, it's time to cultivate audacity.” In this book and in this conversation, Anne Marie teaches us about decision making, and how to take calculated risks — not reckless risks — to get to the life we want. Inspired by the sudden passing of a colleague at just 37 years old — and right before her eyes — Anne Marie teaches us that we have no idea how much time we have left, and how imperative it is to just go for it — whatever “it” is to you. I know this is true in my own life, and I guarantee it is for you, too — there is something you want to do in your life, be it in your personal life or your professional life, that is gnawing at you. A calling that just won't go away. This book will get you over the line and encourage you to follow that calling and to take bold risks. In today's episode, Anne Marie talks us through four questions that will help us start focusing our intentions; introduces us to four big barriers to doing this work and how to overcome them; teaches us about the contemplations Cs and how they can help us; and, I think these are two of the most fascinating concepts she talks about, introduces us to “ikigai” and what it means to have a “front row” in your life — and how important that is. This conversation left me fired up to go and live the life I was meant to. Here to walk us through it all is Anne Marie Anderson, a three-time Emmy Award winning sports broadcaster, keynote speaker, and author. Anne Marie has spent more than three decades in sports television both behind and in front of the camera and has covered six Olympic Games, NBA and MLB playoffs, the Super Bowl, heavyweight title fights, golf majors, and countless other events. Anne Marie has lived out Cultivating Audacity in her own life, giving up a producer role for ESPN's SportsCenter at their headquarters in Connecticut and moving across the country to California; ESPN ultimately offered her a contract after that move that ended up more than doubling her salary. Soon she began to examine other areas of her life she wanted to change and challenge the status quo, and Cultivating Audacity was born. Anne Marie is one of the most experienced play-by-play announcers in the business, calling plays for ESPN, ABC, NBC, Fox, and TBS, and doing so in a very male-dominated business. Who said audacity had to have a negative connotation, anyway? Cultivating Audacity: Dismantle Doubt and Let Yourself Win by Anne Marie Anderson

Requiem.Based on a post by FinalStand, in 13 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. Once more, our esteemed academic Captain, Dr. Pierre O'Rourke Jean-Georges, led us through a rather confused and unhappy post-game liturgy in honor of; well in support of racial unity, I guessed. It was really hard to tell with the way he would ramble off-point every few minutes. The Football Team was in chairs on the floor of the gym with the Cheer Squad and Student Government. The rest of the student body was squeezed into the bleachers; very cozy.The Special Investigator also spoke briefly to the assembly, asking for our help on the case. The school was also hiring a 'Racial Grievance Counselor' who was, surprise, surprise, Dr. Nubia Franklin Jean-Georges; our Principal's wife. I was kind of curious who was making the school system pony up the money for her services as well as precisely when the 'interview' process had taken place.‘I wonder if she's qualified,' Kaelyne whispered.‘I wonder where they are going to stick her,' Vicky mused.‘Oh, I imagine she is going to get 'stuck' alright,' Mikhail snickered beneath his hand. Oh yeah, she was statuesque, smart, Black and projected complete confidence; right up my youngest triplets' alley.‘Ow,' he play-protested after Kaelyne smacked him.‘I did that for Taliyah,' she declared.‘She'll appreciate that,' I promised.‘I know she will,' Kaelyne smiled at me. After that disastrous Monday, Taliyah had been making steady headway in gaining Kaelyne's forgiveness which showed both her character (it was the right thing to do) and smarts (fear of my Mom).‘So; Alexander, what kind of bathing suit should I wear tomorrow?' Vicky teased our eldest.‘One made out of edible body paint,' he turned and winked. ‘Big Bob is gone all weekend to some Sheriff's convention in Miami, Florida. He goes to it every year.' Alexander being sexy-nice to Vicky was Also a good sign for our upcoming weekend.A withering glance from the Coach stilled our conversation. It was bad enough we were 'disrespecting' Darius' shindig. Our team had gotten their asses handed to them tonight in a game they should have won even without our star Running Back. It was easy to see having his father face criminal charges and loss of employment had shaken up Rashaan.His first outing as Team Captain had been a disaster; and now he had to sit here and listen to the various tributes to the guy he'd failed to replace instead of going anywhere else and getting shit-faced drunk and laid. The prognosis for both were pretty grim too,; what with the law enforcement being extra vigilant and the Cheer Squad being surprisingly inattentive to the Football Team's needs; which he was also getting blamed for.Darius had not only provided his players with victories, he had provided them status and perks as the premier athletes at school with the heritage of multiple highly successful teams being handed to them. Everyone 'looked the other way' because they were on the Football Team. All the girls wanted to be with them. Their parties always had plenty of alcohol and weed. They got good grades with minimal, if any, studying. Life had been good.Rashaan was having a horrific time maintaining that legacy. Not only could he not supply for his team, he couldn't even keep his own house in order. He had gone from 'three' hot-ass bitches (running true to type, the BBCs still refused to believe Taliyah had left him for Mikhail a week ago but now she, Sultana Berry and Randi Leigh Upshaw were openly gone) to none.Sure, they could still get 2nd and 3rd tier 'skanks', but just seeing all that prime booty walking around and knowing it Should be theirs and wasn't really bothered those student-athletes. A further complication was that under Darius, he kept the prime cunt specifically regulated both coming and going. That way the boys didn't have to worry about condoms, pregnancies and STDs.He kept the players clean by keeping the mouths, asses and vaginas they were fucking clean. No player stuck his cock into an unauthorized hole because if you did, Darius would destroy you. The object was to fuck who you wished in a safe hunting ground. Rashaan couldn't keep that level of discipline among either the women, or his own teammates.Rashaan also couldn't keep the booze and weed freely flowing. Darius hadn't shared his drug pipeline and wasn't likely to. Rashaan wasn't even trusted with the names of the entities capable and willing to buy and distribute alcohol to the under 21 crowd, plus Sheriff Big Bob's deputies were on the lookout for such shenanigans; more than happy to slap the cuffs on anyone 'Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor'.As a final blow, his dad was no longer Chief of Police. Sure, he was being promised that ruling would soon be reversed; but for Rashaan, it was yet another blow landing at an unfortunate time. His problems weren't mine, and I had more than enough of my own. He'd have to sink, or swim, on his own.We were released at 10:37 pm; far past the time for any of us to have any fun. The Cheer Squad angled for us as we left the bleachers with Taliyah looking particularly livid. A few football players were making a nuisance of themselves, but I sensed her troubles ran deeper.‘Hey, Betty Jo,' one of our linemen tried to separate out the pale-haired blonde, ‘let's head out and party.' Two more moved to put a wall between my brothers and her.‘I'm tired,' she complained.‘You'll feel better soon,' he promised.‘Without your help,' I grumbled. I wedged between the two, they put their hands on me and then Mikhail and Alexander drove fingers into each of their Solar Plexus. With them temporarily gasping for air, we put a perimeter around the other ladies while I put an arm around Betty Jo's waist.‘Boy,' the athlete hissed, ‘you best let go of this piece of ass.'Betty Jo's eyes flashed from him to me, caught between shame and hunger.‘I'm not a boy, your boy, or anyone, but my parent's boy,' I hardened. ‘I'd appreciate it you never demean Betty Jo like you just did either.'‘Is there a problem?' a White Deputy working his way through the crowd called out.‘This ain't over, Peckerwood,' the lineman snarled under his breath.‘Thanks for the warning, Dumbo,' I mocked him. He had big ears.‘It is Greg, Shithead,' he corrected me angrily.‘Separate; you two,' the Deputy demanded.‘Yes, officer,' I backed off. I had the girl which was the important thing.‘Vlad?' Brandy cuddled up to me as we left the auditorium.‘All's good,' I assured her. ‘Normal threats and insults. Nothing more.'‘Betty Jo; are you okay?' she turned her attention to the woman I was escorting along.‘Oh, I'm okay. Greg wanted to talk with me, but I'm not really interested in him anymore,' and then she smiled over at Alexander.‘He doesn't do it you for anymore?' Brandy teased.‘Who?' Betty Jo pursed her lips.‘Greg; the defensive tackle.'‘Oh him!' she seemed surprise. She was Alondra's cross-racial twin alright. ‘Yeah. He and the other guys just want to push and pump me; it feels so; boring really.'‘Not like Alexander?' Brandy led her along.‘Oh no!' she exulted. ‘Alexander makes me feel all tingly; and he doesn't call me bitch, or whore, or nothing like that,' she tacked on.The crowd was dissipating as we moved into the Parking Lot.Alexander was in the lead with Vicky and Alondra on either side should he need support. Mikhail was slightly detached off to my left, arm around Taliyah, deep in conversation with her. His normal cheerful carelessness was gone, replaced by a serious mein. Kaelyne was behind Alex, with the other cheerleaders spread out between us. At the rear of our clump, herding us along, was; Mom and Jewel; huh?They were chatting amiably, one adult to another, not a teenager to a mother. That worried me for reasons I couldn't pinpoint. A little tug from Brandy reminded me where I was suppose to be paying attention.‘Some of the girls are coming over tonight,' she murmured seductively.‘The only one I want to be with is you,' I frowned.A million mega-lumens-bright smile flashed across Brandy's face.‘Not bored with me?'‘How would that ever even be possible?' I gasped.More pure, unfiltered happiness from my Lady.‘You make me very happy, Vlad,' she snuggled in.‘Ditto, Princess,' I kissed the top of her head.‘Hey,' Betty Jo interrupted. ‘Are you anything like your brother?' (?? because, ya know, we were only identical triplets??)‘We are triplets, Betty Jo,' I instructed. ‘We are identical; in all physical regards.'‘Does that mean your dick is just as big?' she asked with innocent intent.‘Yes,' Brandy confirmed. ‘Yes, it is.'‘Oh; nice,' she smiled at Brandy.‘Betty Jo, why don't we get your stuff and head out?' Brandy suggested. Betty Jo left my side with that smile still on her lips. ‘Will I see you tonight?' Brandy directed my way.‘I'll try,' I grinned.‘Okay,' she winked then off she went to round up the others. Mikhail brushed passed me, going the other way; toward Mom.‘I'll be hanging out with Taliyah tonight, Mom,' he addressed our maternal unit.‘Is there a problem?' she studied him. Jewel was silently observant.‘I'm eighteen, tomorrow isn't a school day and I don't have any chores to do I'm aware of,' he ticked off his salient points.‘Why don't you say 'hello' to Ms. Lafontanté?' Mom was falsely polite.‘Hey, Jewel,' his words were brutally sparse of emotion.‘Hey, Mikhail,' she was somewhat amused.‘Hey, Vlad,' she was a tad more polite toward me.‘Hello, Jewel,' I projected much more civility than my brother. If Mom found it necessary to chat with Jewel, it was worth all our time to be more polite and Mikhail should have known better.‘Jewel, please give me a moment with my youngest,' Mom separated from that imposing young lady and walked five steps away with Mikhail.‘I'm glad we didn't have a misunderstanding last night,' I proffered.‘Why?' Jewel tilted her head and appeared to dissect my every word and move.‘Violence without purpose is beyond wasteful; it is stupid and the product of nonadaptive minds,' I stated.‘I don't recognize the quote,' she smiled after a moment.‘It is a Vladimir original,' I smiled back.‘I think I could have taken you,' she added.I had to think over that for a few seconds myself.‘Is that what you were talking to Mom about; asking to come over to our house and spar?'‘Perhaps; that and a few other things,' she allowed.Mom was coming back. Mikhail was going off with Taliyah. Why? I didn't know.‘Night Ms. Lafontanté,' Mom nodded.‘Good night, Ms. Samsonov. Night Vlad.'‘Night Jewel and; you would have lost,' I affirmed as I turned to leave.There was no reply. Before we split up; I was going back home with Alexander; she was hanging around until Dad finished up and dismissed the other Deputies; Mom gave me a shoulder 'bump'.‘Nice one,' she grinned up at me.‘Huh?'‘With Jewel.'‘She thought she could take me with a rattan practice weapon and I thought to dissuade her of that delusion,' I explained. It was the truth after all.‘Girls like Jewel; don't take 'no', or 'you can't do that' for an answer, Vlad,' she enlightened me.‘Even when it is the truth?'‘Especially if it is the truth,' she smirked. ‘Girls like Jewel want to change the World, not accept anyone's assignment for them in it.'‘Well; she is Mikhail's problem, not mine. He's hot for her. I'm perfectly happy with Brandy.'If only that was the way the World worked;Cheer Squad (12 Girls: 4 Black, 6 White and 2 Mixed)The Black girls were;·         Sultana Berry (Very Light fawn complexion).·         Vantrice Kirby (Very Dark umber complexion), (hair dyed florescent red-black striped, shoulder-length hair).·         Alondra Lamb (Very Light tawny complexion).·         Taliyah Malik; the Co-Captain.The White girls were;·         Brandy Crystal Carson is Co-Captain.·         Amber Lee Huffington, (Brunette hair).·         Mia Ryker, (blonde hair).·         Misty Dawn Sizemore, (Russet hair).·         Betty Jo Starling, (Blonde hair).·         Randi Leigh Upshaw, (Brunette hair).The mixed girls were;·         Le 'Pearl' Yates; (Raven-haired, half-Vietnamese/half-Black·         Noémie Lucie Desdunes (Creole) Zulu Princess Posse·         Jewel 'C. S.' Lafontanté·         Dana Owens·         Régine Hunt·         Maxine Shaw·         Shayla Karen White·         Sunny Cobb·         Lana Michelle Moore (the token white girl)Saturday: The Flashpoint.Note:  currently, Vlad is dating Brandy Crystal Carson {the Sheriff's daughter} and Mikhail is dating Taliyah Malik {the Madam Mayor's daughter} while Alexander remains somewhat unattached.)I wasn't able to make it to the Carson household Friday night, though I did learn about the reason Mikhail did: Thursday night the Malik family had begun to implode. Mamma Malik had gone to a separate bedroom; and locked the door. Papa Malik hadn't taken that well, deciding to bury himself in alcohol as an appropriate response. That had been Taliyah's Friday morning. A series of late-afternoon blistering communication exchanges with her parents hadn't helped much.I resolved to make it up to Brandy by going over early ~as in 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning, early; and waking her with kisses. She'd told me the passkey for the home's security system (and 'yes', it had been changed after she dumped Darius for me, just in case).I got there; and the Living Room looked like it needed more than a little cleaning. Pizza boxes and soda cans were strewn about the place. Apparently, Brandy and company hadn't gone straight to bed last night..From what I'd already been told, she had Taliyah (Malik), Noémie Lucie Desdunes, Amber Lee Huffington, Alondra Lamb, Misty Dawn Sizemore and Betty Jo Sterling already here. The other five members of the Cheer Squad would be arriving later this morning and all were planning on spending tonight (Saturday night).Noémie Lucie, Amber Lee and Misty Dawn were strong supporters of the Brandy and Taliyah co-captaincy of the Cheer Squad, so that explained their presence. Alondra and Betty Jo were here out of worry the members of the Football Team might try to 'kidnap' them, once they were off school grounds: so safety measures had been taken.With Robert 'Big Bob' Carson, the County Sheriff, away for the weekend at a Law Enforcement convention in Miami, Florida, he had wisely deposited at least one Samsonov guarding his northwestern Arkansas home last night. Surprisingly, Mikhail had sensed Taliyah's soul-hurt about the situation and wanted to be there for her. He'd put his burgeoning playboy tendencies aside when she really need him. His transformation last night had surprised both me and, to some degree, my Mom, Gayle Fonteneau Samsonov.No one was awake in the house yet. From the rich aroma wafting from the Kitchen, I could tell the automatic coffeemaker had already prepared a full pot and was keeping it warm. I dropped my book bag; sans books, but with a change of clothes, two swimsuits and a few other 'gifts from Mom'; by the sofa first, then began transferring plates and glasses from the Living Room to the dishwasher in the Kitchen. I thought I heard someone out on the front porch.No one knocked, so I finished the trip to the kitchen. I was on the way back when I was pretty sure I heard someone trying to get in; with no luck. You had to be a pretty stupid thief to try and break into the County's chief Law Dog's domicile, even if he was currently out of town. Then there were the four cars and two electric-blue with yellow lightning bolts KTM 690 Enduro R's motorbikes (mine and Mikhail's) in the driveway and front lawn for Pete's sake. It wasn't like the house looked deserted.Seeking the Carsons.Someone rang the doorbell. I wasn't sure how to take that. A quick double-check revealed the door had a spy hole and there was a security screen further into the room. I made use of the spy hole since it was closer. The object on the other side was the best disguised house burglar I'd ever seen, or heard about. I opened up the door, a sappy smile plastered to my slightly flushed face. At the last second I thought to shove my hard-on to the side in a doomed attempt to make it less obvious.‘Hello, how may I help you?' I greeted the gorgeous, mature, platinum-blonde feminine bombshell standing before me.‘Do the Carson's still live here?' she appeared distressed.‘Oh, yes Ma'am,' I bobbled my head. ‘Hi. I'm Vladimir Samsonov. The owner is out right now and I'm here for a party being thrown by his daughter, my girlfriend, Brandy.'Her face transformed from confusion and worry to secret amusement.‘It is a pleasure to meet you, Vladimir,' she put forth her hand. I gladly took this elegant, graciously offered extension of her luscious form. I ended up kissing her knuckles instead of shaking it as I understood that was the Southern Gentlemanly thing to do to a lady. Her eyes twinkled as she added, ‘I'm Jodi May Memphis Carson; Brandy's my daughter.'My heart caught in my throat. From what little I knew, a few months back, Brandy's Mom had run off with the previous Senior Deputy; Big Bob's #2 Man; a Black 'gentleman'; and Big Bob was still pissed about it. I'd never broached the subject with Brandy.So, how upset was Big Bob? Well, I hadn't recognized his gorgeous wife because Big Bob had taken all pictures of her down around the place and Brandy never talked about her. That was a pity because she was an absolute beauty. Her name and history would definitely explain the luggage she had with her too.No car was in evidence which suggested she'd arrived via hitchhiking, or taxi. There was no one outside expecting money, or checking to see if she was okay;‘Please,' I stepped aside. ‘Come on in. Don't worry about your luggage. I'll get it.'‘Thank you,' she stepped inside. ‘That is very gentlemanly of you.' Points for me!With two over-stuffed dress bags, two large suitcases and a roll-on, I definitely felt overburdened, and I was certainly getting my weight training in for this morning, but following Mrs. Carson into the house made all but one of my physical aches go away. I was certain she was talking to me.What she actually said; I had no idea. She had on this contour-hugging, pale lavender skirt and a white, nearly-transparent imitation Peasant blouse with a black mesh bra underneath. This was above unadorned, creamy-tanned calves and white, open-toed heels (4 inches maybe?). Her finger- and toe-nails were a dazzling, pale pink to accent the ensemble.With the way her hips rolled when she walked, each step made her firm ass bounce just a tad which also just happened to accentuate the luscious lines of those exquisite calves and thighs (what I could see of them). Her hair boiled down to her mid-back like a wild torrent of molten gold. I swear to God, I had this unnatural impulse to push her over the back of the sofa and fuck the ever-living soul out of her.‘Vladimir? Vlad?' Jodi May addressed me. Apparently she'd been asking me one, or more, questions while I had been daydreaming. She'd stopped and twisted at the hip so she could look at me. Her salacious twist of the lips and carnivorous eyes told me she knew exactly why I hadn't answered her and where my mind had wandered off to.‘I; I apologize, Mrs. Carson.'‘Call me Jodi May,' she purred.‘Wha-ha, Yes Ma'am!' I nodded vigorously.‘I was asking I thought Brandy was dating Darius Pope. What happened to him?'Ice flushed thru my veins and my brain re-engaged. She'd known about Brandy and Darius; to some degree anyway; and she'd run off with a Big Black Cock-Monster herself. As a mature woman, she was a 10+, but as a Mother, in my book, she wasn't rating so high all of a sudden.‘So you were aware Darius Pope treated your daughter like a cum dumpster?' my countenance hardened. ‘She was handed about the team for all of them to use?'I could see it in her eyes; the comprehension; the denial; the creation of some fantasy which allowed her to carry on with the illusion she'd done no wrong.‘All White men think that way,' she settled on an imperious frown. ‘Darius loves my daughter.'‘And he's got the copious amount of humiliating footage to prove me right too,' I glared. ‘Or would have had if my family not intervened. Now Brandy has someone who truly loves her and wants to protect her from predators who would treat her as nothing more than three nameless orifices, a smoking hot body and a pretty face.'‘As it currently stands, it turns out Darius pissed off one too many folks and somebody decided to beat the ever-living crap out of him and six of his boys; all at the same time. Darius ended up crippled, maybe for life. He is currently hospitalized, undergoing reconstructive surgery on both his knees; in Little Rock. That doesn't matter because by the time Darius got his, I'd already convinced Brandy she was better off with me and she's stuck with me ever since,' I concluded.‘Poor Darius,' Memphis grew all concerned, nostalgic and misty-eyed. Yep, Darius had fucked Brandy's Mom as well. A quick information rewind had me recalling this convention of Big Bob's was a 'yearly thing', making the return of his runaway wife to his stoop rather conveniently timed.‘Where do I put your bags?'That brought her back to the here-and-now and looking at me, not through me.‘I imagine the Master Suite might be a tad inappropriate,' I stated factually.‘Young man,' she studied me, ‘this is still my house and I'll hang my clothes were I wish.'‘Absolutely, Mrs. Carson,' I nodded. ‘It is just placing them in the Master Bedroom comes with a complementary call to your husband; in Miami; while doing so in the Guest Room, the one at the other end of the house (because this house had Three), comes with some forbearance. By all means; decide away. After all; it is your house.'‘How do you think Brandy will feel about you threating her Mamma this way?' she pouted remarkably like her daughter.‘She won't give a damn,' I gave back nothing.‘My daughter and I had a better understanding of; things,' she turned all hurt and aggrieved. 'Things' like Mamma's infidelity and running off with a Black stud; because Brandy was lying to her father about getting some of her own at school.‘Things a White boy wouldn't understand,' she dug in her claws.‘Possibly,' I shrugged. Her shit was getting heavy. ‘I'd appreciate it if you would make your decision now. I was planning on cleaning up down here before waking Brandy with a few 'good morning' kisses. I can top that off with the knowledge you are here as well.'‘Put my things in the; far; Guest Room,' she motioned in the proper direction with a head toss. ‘I'll wake my daughter. I'm sure she has missed me.'‘Good choice,' I nodded. ‘Here is a piece of unsolicited advice. Your family hasn't picked up an automotive fetish in your absence; your daughter has friends over for the weekend, so making a commotion might by; unfortunate.'My information perplexed her.‘She is probably alone,' Mamma Carson hazarded.‘Unlikely. Taliyah was pretty upset last night so I'm willing to bet they crashed out with my brother; in the Master Suite while the five others are in the Game Room making use of the three sofas, sleeping bags and bear skin rug,' I hypothesized right back.‘Brother?' she worked out from all that information.‘Please come along with me while I explain,' and off I went. Reluctantly, the delinquent Mamma followed. Mind you, the far Guest Room was hardly a hardship being 12'x18' with a queen-sized canopy bed, walk-in closet and 72' wall-mounted TV. The counter-top space was minimal and the bathroom was down the hall, but since this wasn't the sleep-occupancy part of the dwelling, it was pretty much hers alone.‘As I said 'I'm Vladimir Samsonov'. My Mom and Dad are Gayle and Nicolay Samsonov. He is the new Senior Deputy and has over two decades of experience with the Alaska Highway Patrol and a legacy of law enforcement going back hundreds of years.'‘Of greater importance to you, no doubt, is that my Mom is Gayle Fonteneau Samsonov, heir to the Fonteneau fortune and estate; which is what brought us to town; my Great-Aunt Matilda's death and her Willing us the whole deal,' I gave Jodi May Memphis the 4-1-1.‘Oh,' she pursed her lips. ‘How is the 'town' handling this?'‘What?'‘The return of Gayle Fonteneau?' she inquired. She was in the closet, hanging up what she needed to while I was in the room, ass resting on the bed.‘Why do you think they would be upset?'‘Let's just say Gayle and her crazy brother didn't leave Kingston on the best of terms,' she evaded.‘I already know about my Mom's rape and the town's denial. I know my Uncle Theo went into Kingston, found four of those bastards and beat them so badly none ever fully recovered. I know the Mayor and Great-Aunt Matilda struck a bargain so that Uncle Theo stayed out of jail. I know the Mayor has passed-on, as has my Great-Aunt. I know my Mother hasn't forgotten, or forgiven, a damn thing.'‘I'm sure Mayor Fox and Chief Quinterre are less than impressed,' she smiled at me. She knew the score. This was BBC Country.‘Chief Quinterre is no longer Chief. He lost his job last Thursday night; for molesting my Mom, having one of his buddies molest your daughter, and being caught at it by an Arkansas State Investigator. My Mom is supporting Mayor Fox's bid for the State Senate seat while Chinedu Malik is in the dog house for his philandering ways.'‘That's; something,' she muttered.‘Oh, and the previous High School Principal is no more. He attempted to put his hands on my Mother, so she put him in Intensive Care; including ripping his dick off,' I kept chatting. By the flashing of Memphis' big baby blues; that was another BBC she'd be missing. Sadly, I was no longer surprised.‘The new guy; well, you'd have to meet him to believe him. He's a treat.'‘How so?'‘How to describe him; He's a college-marinated, proudly bi-sexual, agnostic, married-to-a-freaking-Goddess, beefy, Black Canadian-Haitian-American Fruit Loop.'‘Huh?'‘I stand by my assessment,' I grinned. ‘Let me go get Brandy,' I headed for the door.‘Vladimir, Vlad, ah; is Brandy; okay?' Jodi May worried.‘I do my utmost to make her happy; and I; well, I'll let you talk with her and decide for yourself,' and then I left.I worried about what I was going to say when I found Brandy. As I had surmised, she was upstairs, in the Master Suite, on her Daddy's bed,

In this episode, I'm speaking with neuroscientist Ariel Garten, the co-inventor of Muse, a brain-sensing headband that makes meditation easier. Ariel's research has mainly focused on Parkinson's disease and hippocampal neurogenesis, but she also has a background as a fashion designer and artist! Honestly, I was extremely impressed with Ariel during our conversation; she was highly knowledgeable about meditation and the impact it has on our lives and health, but also because of her integrity and balanced view as a businessperson.  I've been using Muse for a few weeks now, and I have been absolutely loving it. Ariel is gifting us a generous 20% off both Muse devices! >> Click here to claim your special discount on the Muse S or Muse 2 and start 2025 with your new meditation practice.

Does your dog have chronic yeast outbreaks, ear infections, or tummy problems that go away after a round of antibiotics, only to come right back after you stop using them? Have you spent hundreds, if not thousands of dollars at the vets, on supplements, and trying every diet imaginable, but you still can't get on top of your dog's symptoms?  Then you NEED to listen to this conversation I had with veterinarian Dr Neal Loh. Dr Neal is a holistic and integrative vet based in Perth, Western Australia, who uses Traditional Chinese Veterinary Medicine approaches to support his clients and get to the root cause of health imbalances. Honestly, Dr Neal gives us a TCM 101 course in this episode, it is so chock full of helpful information! * He shares his journey into both conventional veterinary medicine, and why he switched to a Traditional Chinese Medicine approach.  * He also talks about how stress - ours and our dogs' - is at the heart of so many health challenges our dogs face * And we do a deep dive into one of the most common and pervasive pathogens in TCVM: dampness. * You'll learn what dampness is, where it comes from, and how it contributes to some of the most common conditions, including yeast, chronic ear infections, as well as chronic and sporadic gut problems. And you'll also learn how food therapy approaches can be really helpful in supporting your dog if they suffer from dampness. To learn more about Dr Neal, to book a telehealth session with him, as well as order his Healing with Real Food Guide Book, visit his website ⁠https://www.holitreats.com.au⁠ and follow him on Instagram https://instagram.com/neal.holisticpetvet. If this holistic approach to caring for your dog resonates with you, and you are interested in becoming a part of a new community dedicated to helping you become your dog's health advocate, Stacey Renphrey of Hozho Hounds and I are launching our F.E.T.C.H. membership which is designed to teach you the same holistic framework that we use in our canine nutrition and wellbeing practices, so that you, too, can confidently take control of your dog's health journey. Comment F.E.T.C.H., or DM me on Instagram https://instagram.com/mysticdogmama, or send me a message on my website ⁠https://mysticdogmama.com⁠ for more information. Finally, If you are enjoying the podcast, I would be so grateful if you would consider liking, following, subscribing, and leaving a comment or review! Not only does it mean the world to me to connect with you and hear what you are enjoying, it also helps the algorithm to put the podcast in front of more people so that we can continue helping other pet parents who are looking for some support, and growing this beautiful community! This episode is sponsored by Aspirationery ,which in full transparency, is another project of mine where we create books, notebooks, and stationery to support you in becoming all you aspire to be. I'm really excited to announce that we have released a Spanish language version of our popular My First Period Tracker for Young Girls and Tweens in order to increase menstrual literacy and empower young people to become advocates for their menstrual health. You can learn more about our books on our Instagram ⁠https://instagram.com/aspirationery⁠ OK, on that note, let's go! *Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace the advice of your own veterinarian or doctor.

This podcast is sponsored by Ritual + Shelter online and in Homewood, AL.  Visit ritualshelter.com to book an appointment and bring peace back to the body, mind, and spirit. Find them on Instagram at @Ritualsheltershoppe as well as Pinterest at Ritual+Shelter. As this podcast goes to air, we are entering the first Full Moon of 2025. It's in the sign of Cancer, which means this can be a time of emotional clearing, sensitive feelings, and deep intuitive insights from the messages you are receiving.   A lot is going on in the cosmos as we start off the year.  The tendency is to feel the call for action. Yet Mars – the planet most associated with action – is retrograde until late February. Just as we're pushed to go forward, we are also held back a little. The messages that have been coming in for me confirm this - it's a time to slowly come into this year… to take it one step at a time..so that you can receive messages for yourself. We are in a time that shows us it's important to know our own will, to not overreact, to take a breath… take several breaths. This is a perfect opportunity to reconnect with your spiritual practice, to ground yourself, clear your mind, and, above all, to tune into your heart.  It's a time to go beyond your dreams but it needs to be from a place of love (the heart), not pushing and asserting the ego (mind). Having a spiritual practice gives you the tools to help you slow down, focus your mind, open up to those deeper parts of you.  Unsure how to begin? I know, there's a lot of stuff out there, a lot of people talking about it. You can Schedule a complimentary Spiritual Upgrade Breakthrough Call with me. Get to know me so that I can get to know you, and figure out where you are holding on to old energies, and how you can move forward right into this new year. It is time to elevate your Spirit and step into a bigger part of you.  You don't need to be a Healer or Intuitive or Channel to work in this realm.  It is available to each of us and will help you grow in your connection to your intution and your higher self as you unlock old patterns and release the old karma.  Today's episode is my 333rd episode. 333 is my favorite number! It's a highly positive number, symbolizing creativity, support, and spiritual awakening. It is a time to awaken to our spiriutality and find ways in which it we can bring this aspect of ourselves with us all the time. One of the best ways is to develop your intentions and most importantly trust it!   When I first began my spiritual journey with Reiki, I began to notice I was aware of other people's energy.. I could feel it and would start to bring in impressions and emotions.  Honestly, it became quite confusing… was this mine or theirs or what?  This is a really important question to ask..One I have my students ask all the time to start to decipher where the energy is coming from.  And, this is why many people have trouble developing their intution. Learning your energy, and your ability is so important. So naturally, I began to seek out teachers to help me… Laura Day one of my first teachers of many. But here's the thing… it wasn't until I began to work in the Akashic Realm, did the trust and faith in my abilities began to grow. Why is that.. you may be wondering!  Clearing Mental Clutter: Working in the Akashic Records often involves deep meditation and reflection, which can clear mental distractions. A quieter mind allows for clearer intuitive signals to emerge. Alignment with Higher Self As we prepare to enter into the Records we The process connects you with your higher self and spiritual guides, who often communicate through intuitive feelings and insights. This alignment can strengthen your intuitive faculties. Heightened Awareness: Engaging with the Records encourages a heightened state of awareness. This increased sensitivity can lead to a greater ability to perceive subtle energies, emotions, and messages, enhancing your intuition. There is no judgment in the Akashic Realm... Our Soul is here to learn and evolve.. we allow for forgiveness and freedom to move forward occurs. Access to Universal Knowledge: The Akashic Records are believed to contain the collective knowledge and experiences of all souls. Tapping into this vast reservoir can help you gain insights that resonate with your intuitive understanding. Validation of Intuitive Insights: As you receive information from the Records, you may find that some of it aligns with your intuitive feelings. This validation reinforces your trust in your intuition, making it more reliable over time. You can even feel the old energies in the body.. so even though we can't remember everything.. past .. the body still holds these imprints and we can use that to confirm and break free. Personal Growth and Healing: The insights gained from the Records can lead to personal growth and healing, fostering a deeper understanding of yourself and your life path. This self-awareness can enhance your intuitive capabilities. Overall, the interplay of accessing profound wisdom, cultivating awareness, and fostering a connection with your higher self contributes to the development of intuition when working with the Akashic Records. You don't need to be a Healer or Intuitive or Channel to work in this realm.  It is available to each of us and will help you grow in your connection to your intution and your higher self as you unlock old patterns and release the old karma. Take a moment to pause and center and be guided into the Akashic Realm to open up your intuition… notice what you notice.. To your Spirit, Terri

On this week's episode Zoë and Logan are taking a bite out of their first (and only) flop of the season and discussing (read: dragging) TEETH (2007), a movie that begs the question: why do men? Come for the vagina dentata, stay for Mother's good for her moment. — Theme music by Greg Morrison. Visit Our Website: www.honestlypod.ca Email Us: thehonestlypodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/honestlypod Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/honestlypod Follow us on Twitter: www.x.com/honestlypod Keep up with us on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/honestlypod/ Honestly?! A Horrorcast is available on SoundCloud, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts!

It's the biggest crime—and cover-up—in British history. And most people, at least until recently, haven't even heard of it. Thousands of young girls, mostly children, were systematically groomed and raped by immigrant gangs across the UK over a period of decades. Police turned the girls away. Detectives were discouraged from investigating. Politicians and prosecutors did their best to sweep it under the rug. Journalists skipped the biggest story of their lives. A culture of silence enveloped the United Kingdom. Why? Today, we talk to two women who spoke out years ago about what was happening while nearly everyone looked the other way: the British feminist and author Julie Bindel, and the author and activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Both took tremendous risks in highlighting the story while the legacy press largely looked away. Bindel is the author, most recently, of Feminism for Women and writes a popular Substack column. Hirsi Ali, a Free Press contributor, is the author of numerous books on radical islam, including Prey: Immigration, Islam, and the Erosion of Women's Rights, which helped bring attention to the grooming gangs scandal in 2021.  Julie and Ayaan explain today what happened, how these rapes and murders were covered up in the name of preserving “social harmony,” how it's still happening, why Elon Musk is suddenly tweeting furiously about it and how Britain's ruling class is being forced to reckon with a scandal it had, until recently, successfully ignored.  It's a story about “tolerance” run amok, and how a civilized country can convince itself to accept the most uncivilized crimes imaginable. If you liked what you heard from Honestly, the best way to support us is to go to TheFP.com and become a Free Press subscriber today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 428 - SKELETON CREW Episode 7 Discussion with some Freakout and Glerb and Brutus and Axe Lady Just like Wim, we're sad that the Skeleton Crew adventure is nearly over but as Fern says, we almost died every week. This week's episode "We're Gonna Be In So Much Trouble" was no exception as it was a real roller coaster of emotions with gasps, laughs and even more mystery. Join as we talk all about the episode, examine our new deep dislike for Jod, ask questions about At Attin and remember all our fallen friends from the show. So, go on a talk show with Brutus, celebrate the love and listen today! JOIN THE BLAST POINTS ARMY and SUPPORT BLAST POINTS ON PATREON! COMMENTARIES FOR EVERY SKELETON CREW EPISODE! NEW EMPIRE STRIKES BACK COMMENTARY! Theme Music downloadable tracks! Extra goodies! and so much MORE! www.patreon.com/blastpoints SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE TO SEE ALL THE CELEBRATION LONDON SUPER LIVE FROM HOME MADNESS and more! www.youtube.com/@blastpointspodcast2160/featured Blast Points T-SHIRTS are now available! Represent your favorite podcast everywhere you go! Get logo shirts while supplies last! Perfect for conventions, dates, formal events and more! Get them here: www.etsy.com/shop/Gibnerd?section_id=21195481 If you dug the show, please leave BLAST POINTS a review on iTunes, Spotify and share the show with friends! If you leave an iTunes review, we will read it on a future episode! Honestly! Talk to Blast Points on twitter at @blast_points leave feedback, comments or ideas for shows! "Like" Blast Points on Facebook for news on upcoming shows and links to some of the stuff we talk about in the show!! Join the Blast Points Super Star Wars Chill Group here www.facebook.com/groups/BlastPointsGroup/we are also on Instagram! Wow! www.instagram.com/blastpoints Your hosts are Jason Gibner & Gabe Bott! contact BLAST POINTS at : contact@blastpointspodcast.com May the Force be with you, always! This podcast is not affiliated in any way with Lucasfilm Ltd. LLC, The Walt Disney Company, or any of their affiliates or subsidiaries.

Brad Crowell and guest co-host, Clare Solly, explore key insights from Lesley's conversation with Chriss Janssen, life coach and author of Grace Yourself: How to Show Up for the Sober Life You Want. They discuss how to stop tying happiness to outside approval, why adaptability fuels success, and the power of showing up despite perfectionism or setbacks. Listen in to learn how to refocus on commitments and sidestep self-sabotage.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Why linking happiness to others' approval sets you up for failureHow to be flexible in handling life's unexpected twists.Focusing on commitments instead of fleeting motivation.Adjusting rules to serve your outcome instead of hindering it.Remembering your 'why' when the going gets tough.Episode References/Links:Cambodia February 2025 Retreat - https://lesleylogan.co/retreatsCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com Flashcards Waitlist - https://opc.me/flashcardwaitlistPilates Studio Growth Accelerator - https://prfit.biz/acceleratorLesley's Birthday Surprise - https://opc.me/birthdayChris Janssen Coaching – https://chrisjanssencoaching.comClare Solly – https://claresolly.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS!Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramThe Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channelFacebookLinkedInThe OPC YouTube Channel Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  We should ditch the rule of "I'm measuring my happiness based on how people like me." Ditch the rule and just go after the outcome of "I'm going to be happy."Lesley Logan 0:13  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Brad Crowell 0:55  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, obviously, I'm Brad here today with a very special guest of ours who's stepping in for LL, Clare Solly, one of Lesley's best friends, who has been both a guest on the pod and been a recap host many times now, she's an author and actor. She's LL's slingshot friend, if you remember from Episode 19. She lives in New York City and generally kicks ass and takes names. Clare, welcome, welcome back.Clare Solly 1:23  Thank you. Thank you. The kicking ass list is very long these days, so I'm glad to be here. I'm so excited. I love this pod. And you know, long time listener and I'm always delighted to jump in.Brad Crowell 1:36  Well, thanks for doing that. Today, we're going to dig into the grounded conversation that LL had with Chris Janssen in our last episode. If you have not yet listened to that, feel free to pause this today, right now. Go back, listen to that, then come back and join us. Honestly, it's an incredibly heartfelt episode. She comes across as so kind and thoughtful.Clare Solly 1:56  Yeah, I just want to, like, get a blanket and snuggle in and, like, listen to her talk.Brad Crowell 2:00  Yeah, and I'm very intrigued by her book. I'm intrigued by her journey. It's worth going back checking that out. But before we get started today, we got a couple things. Clare, why don't you tell us about today? Clare Solly 2:12  WNational Word Nerditations, everyone, officially, Today is January 9th and it's National Word Nerd Day, which, if you know me in person, I totally am a word nerd. We celebrate National Word Nerd Day by enthusing about our favorite words, which is magnanimous and the importance of language in our culture, and whether you know what to say or always have a foot in your mouth, words are essential to success and progress, and word nerd day gives us the opportunity to learn some new words. So go flip to a page in the dictionary and find a word you don't know and celebrate Word Nerd Day.Brad Crowell 2:49  Yeah, I love that. I just typed what new word should I learn today? And (inaudible). Okay, okay, this is kind of funny. All right. Berate, this is Google's AI, berate, beseech, bestow, cease, butthurt. Really? I didn't know that was formally a word now. I thought it was two words. Apparently it's one word.Clare Solly 3:19  There you go. Learn something new everyday.Brad Crowell 3:21  Humblebrag, one word, apparently. I thought that was two words. Touch grass. That is two words, come on Google, fail, fail, fail. That's hilarious. I'm all about words myself. I think my vocabulary grew dramatically because I was a avid reader when I was a kid, and it's so funny. I just started listening to another book, and I had to slow it down because the author is on another level of words and our normal vernacular that we use all the time. I can listen to that at like, times two times three speed, and I can process the information, no problem. But I cannot listen (inaudible).Clare Solly 4:00  (inaudible) so you have to process at high rate of speed.Brad Crowell 4:04  But it's funny, because I had to slow it down to like, one five and I was like, man, it's been a long time since I listened to a book this slow, because he's using words that I have to think about before I can understand what he said. And then when you're trying to do that, you missed the next thing. I'm a big fan. I love it. I think reading will change all that. But before we get to Chris Janssen and we got a couple amazing things, here's what's coming up in the LL, the Brad future and the dogs here, although they don't get to join us for this first thing, we're going back to Cambodia in February. Clare Solly 4:34  Yay. Brad Crowell 4:36  Yeah, I'm so excited to just slip out of (inaudible) Lesley and I are gonna hop on a plane. We're gonna fly over there and prep everything for our upcoming retreat. We have an incredible group of amazing women coming with us, and one good man actually it's the son, so it's gonna be a mom-son coming. Yeah, that's gonna be really cool. And apparently he's a traveler, as it is, so I think mom's very excited that the two of them are gonna be able to share this trip together. But February is only, I think, five weeks away right now. There is still time to come. If that's something you're interested in doing. I know it's a bit short for an international trip to the other side of the world, so we have just made the announcement that Cambodia in October is also going to be happening, but it's only being announced to people who are on the waitlist. Since you're listening to this, and you might not be on the waitlist. I'm going to tell you how to find it. Go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com and you will actually see all the information on there. We are running a special offer. So if you're curious about what that actually looks like, it will be on the October retreat. There is a window for that, so don't wait. Go check that out right now. As you heard us talking about through November and December, Lesley was in Los Angeles doing the accessories, flash card deck photo shoot. And man, it was the journey. We crashed with some friends that were like five minutes away from the studio, and Lesley spent an entire week busting up the guillotine. I mean, it was crazy. All the things. We had some amazing photo shoots there, and it was a lot of fun. And we can't wait to share those with you on the upcoming deck that's going to be coming out during the summer, this summer, for the accessories flash card deck. It's the last one of six decks. Go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, and we'll give you the biggest hookup that we ever offer for people, only the people on the waitlist get the hook up on this, and it's a nice discount. So make sure you do that now. This is my world here. If you are feeling stuck in your Pilates business, I can't wait to share with you three massive secrets that Lesley and I have learned after coaching more than 2500 businesses, small businesses just like you over the past seven years, because Profitable Pilates just turned seven this month. I can't even believe that. Clare Solly 6:48  Wow. Brad Crowell 6:49  I'm now offering a webinar. It's been amazing to share this information and also just connect with additional Pilates business owners and fitness business owners. But if you're feeling stuck with your money, if you're feeling stuck with getting new clients, then come join me. This is a free webinar. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O, dot biz slash accelerator. And come join me for a free webinar. I'd love to meet you and see how we can support you in what you're trying to do. And then lastly, it's going to be Lesley's birthday at the end of this month. And as you all know, we always make a big deal out of it at the end of January. So stay tuned, because there might just be something special happening over at OPC. Join the countdown. Go to opc.me/birthday, and you'll be the first to get the big reveal. That's opc.me/birthday, but first and finally, before we get to Chris Janssen, Clare, we had an audience question, and the audience was an audience of one. It was the audience of Lesley, and she's like, I'm writing a question for Clare to answer. So what are your goals, and do you set them for 2025?Clare Solly 8:01  You know, it's hysterical. It's hysterical that she asked this question of me, and I feel like she sort of set me up to say it, because for years, she and I have talked about like we we don't make New Year's resolutions. We don't make goals. Brad Crowell 8:13  Clearly, she knew this. Clare Solly 8:14  We don't make resolutions, but we do, you know, we have, I think for me, like we used to say it was a goal, and now it's like a focus. I am trying to be more present in my life and just sit in my humanness and go, I'm here to live and to breathe them into experience and whatever. And I actually saw something at the very end of the year, and it was like, go get a jar and at the end of every week, write on a piece of paper, something good that happened to you this week, and then on New Year's Eve at the end of the year go through, or New Year's Day, go through and read all the things I'm not good.Brad Crowell 8:49  That's like the coolest advent calendar that isn't an advent calendar. Clare Solly 8:53  Right? I'm not necessarily good at doing, like, the weekly journal entries, or those ones where, like, you have a journal, where you, like, write a sentence every day for five years. Like, I always think that it's a good idea. And then, you know (inaudible).Clare Solly 9:04  But then in practice, life lives. Clare Solly 9:07  But I'm gonna put this on, like, in my kitchen so I see it every morning, or I'll make it my Sunday thing. I'll sit down and I'll write out, like, something good that happened. Like, I'll put it maybe an alarm in my calendar or something. Brad Crowell 9:18  That's what I was just gonna say. If it's not on my calendar. It does not happen. And then I also, I use Hey Siri all the time, and she's going to talk to me now, because I just said that, yep. I just say, you know, remind me. And you can make a reminder in your phone. You can make it a weekly, recurring thing. And I believe with the new release on iOS, it actually just inserts it into your calendar as well. Clare Solly 9:41  That'll be, yeah, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna try that. We'll see how it goes. You can have me back next January, and we'll talk about that. Brad Crowell 9:48  We'll keep you posted. That's really cool, because what an awesome tool. And here's what's cool about that, too. It doesn't have to just be like, Okay, throw those ones out and start next year's. You could actually keep those. You could put those, the way I'm imagining it, if you're putting them into a jar, then maybe they're on like, a long, thin piece of paper. You could eventually just put those into a book, you know, and then that could become your journal. Five years from now, you got five years of those once a week. You got 250 of them. I mean, what an amazing way to celebrate life.Clare Solly 10:21  And it's funny too, because it's like there are some things we go through day to day that are or week by week, that are little wins, or that feel like they were a gigantic thing this week. But like, you look back in hindsight and you're like, okay, great, I did that. Or you can't even remember when you did it, so I don't know. So now (inaudible). Brad Crowell 10:40  I just imagine passing that along years from now, you know. Like I'm thinking, what if my grandparents did that, you know? And I'm like, I've got this weird window until like 1953, you know, that could be really cool. Anyway, I love it. I think that's a really clever idea. I think the more that we.Clare Solly 11:00  Celebrate little things? Brad Crowell 11:02  I was gonna say New Year's resolutions just get me annoyed. We are fighting perfectionism, and I think that the new year's resolution sets us up for failure, because if life lives and something jacks up the week and you forgot to do the thing, what is the first inclination? Blame yourself. I fucked it up again. And instead of that, I feel like I like the guidelines or the goals, you know that aren't this like, I'm gonna start exercising every day. I'm gonna quit drinking for the month of January. I'm gonna whatever it is. I think when we set it as like this concrete thing, it ends up becoming just one more rule that we have to live by.Clare Solly 11:40  I mean, I think it's a nice idea, especially for those of us in the northern hemisphere where it's very cold and it's winter, we have nothing else to do but to like, focus on ourselves. But there's only so much nasal gazing, navel, I sound (inaudible).Brad Crowell 11:55  How do we gaze up our nasal? Clare Solly 11:57  Navel-gazing that you can do before it becomes like you're just picking at a scab and you're that perfectionist still trying to chip away, and it's like I am who I am at this point. And yes, there are things that could be tweaked, and there are ways I could be healthier, and there are ways that I could do better, but honestly appreciating who I am now. And we always say meeting someone else where they are, but meeting myself where I am right now. Like, let's go there, let's have that (inaudible) 2025 so.Brad Crowell 12:28  Hey I love that. That's a good New Year's resolution. Let's meet ourselves where we are. Clare Solly 12:32  Yeah. Brad Crowell 12:35  I love it. Okay, stick around. We'll be right back, and we're gonna get into Lesley's interview with Chris Janssen. Brad Crowell 12:42  All right, now let's talk about Chris Janssen. Chris Janssen is a life coach and author who specializes in assisting high-achieving perfectionists in navigating performance pressure, overcoming self-sabotage and rewriting personal narratives. Her second book, Grace Yourself: How to Show Up for the Sober Life You Want, offers practical tools and exercises to help individuals find meaning in life's uncomfortable events. Passionate about making transformation accessible. Chris guides people through the process of personal growth, empowering them to achieve the life they desire. I love it. Clare Solly 13:20  It was a great, great podcast, like I took so much away from it. So this is gonna, you know, buckle up, go back and listen to it again, like it was so good. One thing she said I really loved was high-achieving perfectionists attach meaning to life, to events and circumstances that are beyond our control. That, again, Lesley and I both claim to be recovering people-pleasers and perfectionists. So the fact that, yes, we attach so much, you know, we tried to go to the grocery store today, and instead we had to answer a phone call or family dropped over. You know, we just had holidays, right? So it's like, so many unexpected things happen, and then arguments arise, conversations arise, and you weren't necessarily ready to handle those because it was the holidays, and you just wanted to be like, happy and live through all that. Or we just talked about goals and resolutions, right? You set out to have a goal and a resolution and life lives, and you just can't stick with what new you know? Brad Crowell 14:24  Or something gets in the way and it blocks that is out of your control. And I think one of the things that Lesley said during the interview was really relevant to the people that we get to coach. She said that, okay, cool. Now my next goal is I'm gonna go out and get four new clients, and that's not in our control. We can certainly do all the things to put ourselves in a position to receive new clients and to connect with people, but we can't make the decision for them to actually be our client. Right? So if we're like, I didn't get four new clients, then you feel like a failure, but that shouldn't necessarily be the thing that, you know, like, what you can control is your messaging, the effort you put in getting it out there, putting yourself in the place where you're going to meet those people. You can control those things, but you can't control them being like, yes, right? Clare Solly 15:20  You can control your output and your reaction, but that's all you can control. Other people rolling around this life are having their own journey, and they have all their own life lifeing happening. I'm feeling that Brad, by the way.Brad Crowell 15:32  And timing is so much a part of it. Yeah, yeah, steal it out. Steal away. I don't know where what that, that just happened on the pod at one point, but I don't remember the specific moment. But yeah, I think, you know, there's a lot of shame and guilt associated with failure that isn't necessarily failure, because we can't control those things. So anyway, it's one of those things that we don't actually put our finger on very often, where we're like, hey, wait a minute. I don't have the final say in the events that have unfolded here, but we still blame ourselves for it. So I thought that was really profound, too. I really dug when she was talking about that we make it impossibly difficult to succeed in getting what we want, yet tragically easy to fail at getting what we want. So think about that. We make it impossibly difficult to succeed, yet tragically easy to fail at getting what you want. And she said, yeah, let's talk about happiness. So the rule you set for yourself is to be happy, and the way that you determine your happiness is that people will like you, if people like you, then you're going to be happy. Right? So this goes right back to what we were just talking about, you know, where we don't have control over it, in that the validation that we're looking for, the validation that we're trying to, to what we've defined as success, isn't available for us to lock down, right? That's like setting ourselves up for failure, exactly like she's saying here. We'll make it tragically easy to fail. If that's our measuring stick for being happy, then we're really screwed. But it's funny how often that we do that to ourselves. Chris said something that I wanted her to say, like, two or three more times in a row. Just say it over and over again. We should ditch the rule of, "I'm measuring my happiness based on how people like me." Ditch the rule, and just go after the outcome of, "I'm going to be happy." Right? And that's going to allow us to get all those other things out of the way. I mean, this could be success, right? Like sales, I have to keep selling. This could be again, clients. Our worthiness is determined based on the performance that we're doing or the people that we're helping. That's our measuring stick. What happens after you've taught Pilates for 50 years and you can't teach anymore? What does that mean for you at that point in your life? You know, it's so interesting. This comes down to identity, you know, and what we tie to how we define ourselves internally, and then something will change, you know, what if there's an accident and you can't be doing the things that you're doing anymore, or what if something comes through that changes?Clare Solly 18:24  Yeah. And sometimes we change. Sometimes we realize our dreams and our goals are not what we wanted to do. Lesley talks about this all the time, yeah. When I met her, she was going in a direction, and her life changed, and she realized she couldn't go in that direction anymore. And sometimes you can't base your happiness on that measuring stick, right? You have to be both flexible and focused at the same time, but the flexibility sometimes is more important and living life, seeing what rises up for you. Brad Crowell 18:55  Yeah, yeah, totally. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into those Be It Action Items. All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Say with me here. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from Lesley's convo with Chris Janssen? I'm gonna jump right in here. She said hey, stick to your commitments. Don't wait for motivation or inspiration. Commit to it. Get in action and just do it. There'll be seasons or days or times when we don't feel like showing up, but that's when we're going to show up anyway and stick to those commitments. So she's talking about sobriety, right? And one thing that I found was so powerful is she said, hey, the perspective needs to be flipped. It's not oh my god, I have to be sober now. Instead, it's, Oh, I get to be sober, you know? And I thought, wow, what an amazing way to look at it, because it gives you permission to be sober. In fact, it's a joy to be sober in that perspective. And when the challenge comes along of, oh, I wish I was drinking or I want to have a drink right now. Now, instead of it being a negative, oh, I just, I have to be fucking sober right now. Instead, it's a positive, no, no, I get to be sober, and that really will help you stick to your commitment. That was super powerful. Clare Solly 20:25  Yeah, I agree. I like that she mentioned focus on your commitments over your craving. So focus on what you want in life. Focus on what you are trying to get and trying to get to. You know, not necessarily that end goal, but what does today look like, and to tweak the tactics and not the goal. So how do I get from point A to B if I can't use the bridge? How do I drive from my house to the grocery store if I can't get to the bridge? Or how? How can I get from the job that I'm in now to being a Pilates instructor without sacrificing my entire life, you know, again, or sobriety, like we have many, many, many options here. Also, I just want to flag. I love that she has been not sober once, but twice. And I love when people come forward with these stories, that we as humans can just sit there in humanness and not necessarily have to live the life that she did, but understanding through her failure, and then reading this book or hearing her talk, and just realize we we don't have to go backwards. Just keep going for I like that she used the word grit, too. Just keep pushing through and get to where you need to go. And whether that's you've experienced it yourself, you're listening to somebody else's experience something parallel to what you're living in. And love that. And I love that. She said something else too, that it's a small shift to get to where you need to be extraordinary. So just loved this. Loved it. Brad Crowell 21:48  I like how these two things kind of go together. It's almost like this yours is like the step before sticking to the commitment. If understanding the permission structure and the framing structure helps you stick to your commitments. Then when that challenge comes along and you're focused on your craving, I want this thing. I need this thing. Or my perfectionism, I have to have it perfectly correct. There is still a moment in there. We have to identify that you're in that moment. And that's when she says, Hey, you have to focus on your commitments. And it's easier to focus on your commitments if you also understand why you're doing it. You mentioned that she was sober two times. When she got sober, the first time, she said, well, there wasn't this rock bottom of like, oh my God, everything exploded. She said, I felt like I needed to do this, and I had kids coming, and that was a enough of a catalyst to make it happen. But then 14 years later, when her kids were in their teens, she was like, I can't really remember why I got sober, because it wasn't this like explosive event in her world that blew everything up. And then when she decided to drink again, that's actually when things went down pretty hard, and she said she did have a rock bottom, and fortunately, she, you know, has someone in her life who was able to support her through that, her spouse, but she said focusing on her why? Yeah, probably would have kept her from choosing to drink again in the 14 years later, because she had forgotten the sparkle of the why that moment. You know, I think that's also another amazing thing that will help you stick to your commitments, is focusing on your why. Brad Crowell 21:49  So, listen, y'all, we think you're amazing. Thanks so much for being here today. I'm Brad Crowell. Clare Solly 22:35  And I'm Clare Solly. Brad Crowell 22:57  Thanks so much for joining. If you want to hear more from Clare, follow her at claresolly.com, that's C-L-A-R-E-S-O-L-L-Y.com. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending a DM to the pod on Instagram, or leave us a comment on YouTube, or just text us, and we will catch you in the next episode. And don't forget to Be It Till You See It. Clare Solly 24:02  Bye.Lesley Logan 24:04  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 24:47  It's written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 24:52  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 24:56  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 25:03  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 25:07  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week's episode is loaded with some of the wildest listener stories yet. We're talking about a massive black dog that seems to vanish into thin air, shadowy figures that leave more questions than answers, and even a mischievous pantry ghost that clearly doesn't want to share snacks. It doesn't stop there. From chilling sleep paralysis encounters and eerie astral adventures to a childhood brush with something terrifying in a basement—these stories are packed with horror, humor, suspense, and just the right amount of WTF moments. Buckle up, because this is a rollercoaster of creepy, funny, and downright strange paranormal experiences! Huge shoutout to everyone that submitted their true paranormal experiences for Volume 10 of Freaky Listener Stories! If you'd like your story shared in Volume 11, be sure to send it in to thegang(at)thefreakydeaky(dot)com! We'll see you on the inside... ----- TIME STAMPS: 0:00 - Drama 0:44 - Roll That Beautiful Bean Intro 2:03 - Narrator: But It was Not Hockey 3:54 - Freaky Listeners. 5:36 - Christ Alive Christian, Let Me Start The Damn Show 7:39 - THE DAMN SHOW STARTS HERE (SORRY) 7:44 -  STORY: Amanda & The Big Black Dog 9:03 - It's Gonna Be One of THOSE Episodes…  12:02 - Christian Reminisces About The Radio I Guess? 13:22 - Scott Whistled At The Northern Lights, He's Still Alive  13:57 -  Oopsie 15:32 - WTF even is this episode right now.. Honestly. 15:55 -  STORY: They Call Me Action Jackson 20:33 - Christian Says The Quiet Part Out Loud  24:12 - I Don't Know What Day It Is  24:52 - STORY: Sleep Paralysis & The Shadow Man w/ Bethany  24:55 - Bethany Thinks We Have Faces for Radio  27:20 - Christian Cures My Depression, Thanks  30:25 - Christian Rambles For Way Too Long  31:38 - STORY: Robin & The Ghost Guard of the Pantry  38:37 - A Case of Familiar Spirits, Perhaps?  40:38 - STORY: Tamber & The Basement Dweller  43:28 - Demons vs. Random Willy Nilly Mad Ghosts  47:23 - Are Kids Easy Targets For Demons? 50:42 - Christian Was Almost a Nightstalker Victim 51:18 - STORY: Time Jump w/ Tables  59:03 - Let's Wrap This Train Wreck Up, Y'Know?  60:35 - Poppin' Outro Music -------- If you want to become a producer, visit this link: http://bit.ly/3WZ3xTg Episode Producer: Eric Long -------- Armed with nothing more than a non-sensical soundboard, a fascination for all things unexplained, and a heaping dose of dry humor; TFD is a weekly paranormal comedy podcast featuring real ghost stories, Cryptid lore discussions, and true paranormal experiences catering to the week's theme. Fresh episodes drop every Thursday across all podcast platforms, and feature perspectives from both believer and skeptic sides of the aisle. So if you're a fan of haunted places, terrifying paranormal activity, and true ghost stories from real people, you're in the right place, friend. Recorded in an undisclosed location somewhere in the beautiful woods of Wasilla, Alaska. ++SUBMIT YOUR STORY FOR OUR LISTENER STORY EPISODES++ Email: thegang@thefreakydeaky.com Voicemail: 801-997-0051 ++WEBSITE & MERCH++ Website: www.thefreakydeaky.com Merch: www.thefreakydeaky.com/store ++FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS FOR EXCLUSIVES++ YouTube: https://bit.ly/3goj7SP Instagram: https://bit.ly/2HOdleo Facebook: https://bit.ly/3ebSde6 TFD Facebook Group: https://tinyurl.com/tfdfb TikTok: https://bit.ly/35lNOlu

Kevo is joined by longtime friend, of 20+ years, Jake (Aka: Papa Bear) and no topics are off limits; They discuss died suddenly and the COVID "opposite of vaccine"; Hollywood sheep are the dumbest people of all time; Sonny Hostin becomes the front runner in 2025 for "Most Clever at Being Stupid"; Must see Docs about the Evil Dr's Money and Kinsey & the leftists continued praise for these disgusting degenerate folks; We talk God, faith & what your moment of clarity that made you lose all doubt in regards to the existence of our creator & savior; all that and more such as Diddy, Epstein and Garth Brooks needs to go somewhere and sit down and shut up. It's coming....the deviants are gonna all be exposed. This is ~ Unwavering: Toxic Masulinity from the Dudes Den....in 3,2, 1...Go!

Ringing in the new year with a banger! John Michael Greer returns to the show to explore Whether we can say if 'western' magic has a discernable metaphysics. What those might be. Seeing as AI did such a good job of giving us a definition of metaphysics (which you will get in the show), here's what she thinks the episode is about: "The dialogue emphasizes the importance of directionality, the existence of intelligent non-human beings, and the overarching themes that unify magical practices across cultures. In this conversation, Gordon White delves into the complexities of historical knowledge, the concept of polarity in cosmology, and the nuances of sex magic. He discusses the limitations of historical records, the significance of polarity as a universal principle, and the often-misunderstood relationship between sexuality and magic. White also challenges cultural assumptions about elitism in esoteric practices and highlights the contributions of lesser-known figures like Pascal Beverly Randolph to the field of magic. The discussion culminates in a reflection on the meaningfulness of the cosmos and the interplay of energy in our experiences." Honestly? Pretty good. Show Notes John's website, Ecosophia. The Philosophy and Practice of Polarity Magic: A Secret Wisdom of Sex. The Earth Mysteries Workbook: A One Year Course in the Enchantment of the Land.

Between Comerica Park, Ford Field, Little Caesars Arena, The Big House (Michigan Stadium) and Keyworth, what are the best stadiums in Southeast Michigan? We discuss and rank them in a gaming-style S tier list. Of course, we'd love to hear your thoughts - dailydetroit - at - gmail - dot - com. Daily Detroit shares what to know and where to go in Detroit every day. You can listen to their podcast and read their newsletter. Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/daily-detroit/id1220563942 Or sign up for our newsletter: https://www.dailydetroit.com/newsletter/  

Honestly we just wanted to do these three because they all have shape titles, but they all ended up being weirdly similar! How do you square that? CUBE (1997, Vincenzo Natali) SPHERE (1998, Barry Levinson) TRIANGLE (2009, Christopher Smith)

I wrote a book recently called "The Blessings of Gods Laws; Affirmations" it is an affirmation book of many of Gods' Laws. For example: "The blessing of the Lord makes me rich, and He adds no sorrow with it." Proverbs 10:22 The blessings of the lord makes me rich, in the book I write out the blessings of Gods laws in first person, as if God is speaking directly to you and me, (WHICH HE IS). Honestly, I have found reading the blessings of God Laws from a first person point of view to be truly therapeutic. My favorite verses from the book are from the book of Deuteronomy: “If I faithfully obey the voice of the Lord my God and carefully do all His commandments, He will set me high above all the nations of the earth.” (Deuteronomy 28:1) “I will be blessed in the city and blessed in the field.” (Deuteronomy 28:3) “I will be blessed when I come in and when I go out.” (Deuteronomy 28:6) “The Lord will make me abound in prosperity,” (Deuteronomy 28:11) “The Lord will open to me His good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to my land in its season and to bless all the work of my hands. I will lend to many nations, but I will not borrow.” (Deuteronomy 28:12) “The Lord will make me the head and not the tail, and I shall only go up and not down, if I obey the commandments of the Lord my God, which I am commanded today, being careful to do them.” (Deuteronomy 28:13) Honestly, I believe with all my heart that everyone, especially those of us in the truth should practice reading the blessings of Gods Laws, and from a first person perspective because make no mistake about it, God is speaking to you and the Bible promises, that if we meditate on his laws, that we will be prosperous and successful. This is truly the main reason for everything in life including reading positive affirmations, to be prosperous and successful: "Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:8 The Blessings of Gods' Laws; Affirmations (Amazon): https://a.co/d/1M5jJ46 If you would like to support this ministry send your "Tithes, Donations, and/or Offerings" to https://cash.app/$LeoDunson and/or Cash App $LeoDunsonMinistries or at: https://leodunson.com/donate Watch My Banned YouTube Videos at: https://leodunsonministries.com #Godslaws #Affirmations #Blessings

Welcome to the All Things Nerd Podcast! Your weekly dive into all the things we find nerdy and worth talking about. This week's episode we talk about the so much- from Wicked to the finale episode of Dune Prophecy, Creature Commandos, Skeleton Crew, and Our Trivial Nerd-Suit. Check out BuyMeACoffee.com/AllThingsNerd for our Pre-Show Warm Up where we catch a buzz and talk about random other nerd things. Subscribe and get behind the scenes and bonus content.  If you want to try and stump a host for a chance to win some free merch (both from us and our sponsors) go to www.allthingsnerdpod.com/trivialnerdsuit and go to our contact page to submit your Trivial NERDSUIT question. Mention who the question is for, your question may be presented in an episode for your chance to win!  Today's Episode is sponsored by Raze Energy Drinks. Visit www.reppsports.com and use promo code “NERDPODCAST” for 15% off your order total, or if you are wanting an introductory sample pack, visit ⁠https://reppsports.com/free/⁠ for a $50 sample pack for FREE! Just pay S+H and use the promo code “NERDPODCAST” to let them know we sent you. Today's Episode is also sponsored by Cry Baby Craigs. An incredible hot sauce made from pickled habaneros and garlic. Honestly, this stuff goes on everything. For your chance to enhance the flavor of your favorite foods, or bloody mary's, check out Cry Baby Craigs at www.crybabycraigs.com to get yours today.  You can always find us online at www.allthingsnerdpod.com with links to our social media pages, or email us with any questions or requests at hello@allthingsnerdpodcast.com We have some exciting things coming to our website and store soon!  If you want to get your hands on some new merch, or help support us in everything we do, follow us there and check it out! Here's a link tree to find us everywhere:  https://linktr.ee/allthingsnerdpodcast If you want to help us grow our nerd collection and build our studio spaces to bring you even better content you can also check out our amazon wishlist here: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/genericItemsPage/32P1V8QA7YU28

If you haven't heard of Bryan Johnson or watched the new Netflix documentary about him, Don't Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever, Bryan is a person who has given his life—and his body—over to the science of longevity. That means that he has essentially turned himself into a human lab rat, undergoing hundreds of tests and studies on every human marker imaginable in order to discover the best ways to stop the process of human aging. What he's found is unconventional, to say the least: He eats dinner at 11 a.m., he has swapped blood with his 17-year-old son, and he measures his nighttime erection lengths—just to name a few of the hundreds of things that you probably have never heard of a person doing in the name of health and longevity. But it's not just that Bryan wants to reverse aging and live forever. He also thinks we're at the bleeding edge of a new kind of reality. He believes he's akin to Amelia Earhart or Ernest Shackleton, and that he's on the frontier of something big—something that will change everything about humanity as we know it. In that way, this conversation is not just about wacky exercise routines and unusual supplements. It's a philosophical discussion about the meaning and purpose of life, and what we're all doing here on this planet.  Today on Honestly, Bryan Johnson tells us about why and how he's not going to die. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

CES is upon us, which can mean only one thing: new announcements for a bunch of trash no one wants or needs! Oh, wait, there are also new graphics cards and handheld gaming machines getting announced, too. So three things! Honestly, that's better than CES has sounded in years, let's talk about it. Also: my Game of the Year for 2024, the Switch 2 leaks, your emails, and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our buddy Gary King Jr came to the studio and we had a blast. We talked about everything. Honestly, everything. Go follow Gary at @Kinganytime . What a F'n legend..... Guest: @KingAnytime Host: @Frank_Downstar Supported by* @Downstar @Downstar_Skate ​ Downstarinc.com HyperURL.co/Downstar @DowntimeWithDownstar