Podcasts about Honestly

Share on
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Reddit
Share on LinkedIn
Copy link to clipboard
  • 7,595PODCASTS
  • 11,383EPISODES
  • 45mAVG DURATION
  • 5DAILY NEW EPISODES
  • May 20, 2022LATEST

POPULARITY

20122013201420152016201720182019202020212022


Best podcasts about Honestly

Show all podcasts related to honestly

Latest podcast episodes about Honestly

Your Anxiety Toolkit
Ep. 285 - Managing Mental Compulsions (With Dr. Jon Greyson)

Your Anxiety Toolkit

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 43:03


SUMMARY: In this weeks podcast, we talk with Dr Jon Greyson about managing mental compulsions. Jon talks about how to use Acceptance to manage strong intrusive thoughts and other obsessions. Jon addressed how to use acceptance with OCD, GAD and other Anxiety disorders. Covered in This Episode: What is a Mental Compulsion? What is the difference between Mental Rumination and Mental Compulsions? How to use Acceptance for Mental Compulsions How to practice acceptance when the intrusive thoughts are so strong. Links To Things I Talk About: Jon's Book Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty Jon's Website https://www.laocdtreatment.com/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit Episode - 285. Welcome back, everybody. We are on episode three of the six-part series. And if you have listened to the previous episodes, I am sure you are just full of information, but hopefully ready to hear some more. Today, we have Dr. Jonathan Grayson. He's here to talk about his specific way of managing mental compulsions. As you may know, if you've listened before, I strongly urge you to start and go in order. So, first, we started with Mental Compulsions 101. That was with yours truly, myself. Then Jon Hershfield came in. He talked about mindfulness and really went in, gave some incredible tools. Shala Nicely, again, gave some lived experience and really the tools that worked for her. And I have just been mind-blown with both of their expertise. And it doesn't stop there. We have amazing Dr. Jonathan Grayson today talking about all of the ways that he manages mental compulsions and how he brings specific concepts to help a client be motivated and lean into that response prevention and to reduce those mental compulsions. I am again blown away with how amazing and respectful and kind and knowledgeable these experts are. I just am overwhelmed with joy to share this with you. Again, please remember this should not replace professional mental health care. We are here at CBT School, who is the host of this series. We're here to provide you skills and tools, and resources specifically if you don't have access to those resources. That is a huge part of our mission. So, even though we have ERP School – and that is an online course, you can take it from your home – we wanted to offer this freely because so many people are seeming to be misunderstanding mental compulsions, and it's an area I really have been excited to share with you in this free series. So, I'm not going to yammer on anymore. I'm going to let you hear the amazing wisdom of Jonathan Grayson. Have a wonderful day.   Kimberley: Welcome. I am so honored to have you here, Jon Grayson. Jonathan: It is always a pleasure. Kimberley: Okay. So, I actually am really, really interested to hear your point of view. As we go through a different episode, I actually am learning things. I thought I knew it all, but I'm learning and learning. So, I'm so excited to get your view on managing mental compulsions or how you address them. My first question is, do you call them mental compulsions, mental rituals, rumination? How do you frame it? Jonathan: I'm never really too big on jargony, but mental compulsions are mental rituals. And I think that's trying to-- and I think the thing about mental rituals is some people don't know they have them. I mean, some people know, but some people will describe it as, “I just obsess, I don't have rituals.” but then when you listen, they do. And the ritual part is trying to reassure themselves or convince themselves that whatever it is they're worrying about isn't. So, they have both the fear part like, “Oh my God, what if this is true? But wait, here's why it's not true. Now I know that's not really true. But what if it is true?” So, that is what I would call mental compulsion or rituals. Kimberley: Right. How do you-- let's say you're sitting across from a patient or a client they are doing either predominantly mental compulsions or that's a huge part of the symptoms that they have. How would you address in your own way, teaching somebody how to manage mental compulsions? Jonathan: I think there's two answers to the question because I never have, and one has to do with what is the content, because I believe every set of mental rituals – I believe it for all forms of OCD, whether there's a very strong behavioral component or it's all mental – it has its own set of arguments that we're going to use. Of course, when I talk about arguments, I know this will be a shock to you, but to me, it always has to do with coping with uncertainty, because I think the purpose of mental compulsions is to deny reality. That is, there is something I don't want to be true and I keep trying to convince myself it's not true.  Now often it's a low probability. But low probability is not no probability. Sometimes I have clients a little confused, saying like, “I tell myself it's low probability,” and they actually feel better. Is that okay? And the answer is, it depends. If I'm trying to convince myself, I don't have to worry about it because it's a low probability, no, that's a ritual. If I'm just saying it's a low probability, I mean, way actually with OCD, it's very easy because people don't mind saying it's low prob they. They like saying it's low probability, but they don't want the last sentence to be “But it might happen.” So, it's like, as long as you're answering “It might happen,” then you're dealing with reality because everything is a low probability, even if it's really small.  So, one part has to do with the content. And I think for every set of obsessions, there is, what is the content they're doing? I think in a more general way, the goal of treatment is basically accepting that low probability things might happen. I was recently saying to people that I hope the probability of nuclear war is no worse than that. It was as bad as likely as a worldwide pandemic. Some people would freak out like, “You think there's going to be a war?” First of all, I know anything, but they were missing the point. It's like, no, I really mean it's as likely as a pandemic, which means it's not likely. However, the thing about the pandemic, low probability things can happen. So yeah, we're probably okay. And so, the thing about acceptance that everyone hates is acceptance is second best. We spend so much time talking about how great acceptance is and I really think it's a disservice in some respects to not point out what acceptance means because it almost always is. Here's something you don't want that you might have to live with. If I lose a loved one, we start in denial. And for me, denial is defined as I'm comparing life to a fantasy. I have a woman in a bad relationship and she thinks he really loves the guy, but it's like, he'd be so good if only he would change X, Y, and Z. And of course, if he changed X, Y, and Z, he would be someone else. So, they're in love with a fantasy. And when somebody dies, the fantasy is life would be better if they were here. It's a fantasy because that's never happening again. So, we have to get them to the point.  And of course, the thing, the reason I mentioned death is it points out a really important thing about acceptance. You don't get to just decide, “I'm going to accept.” I lose a loved one. I don't care how or where you are. You're starting in denial because you're missing them and you want them there. And after about a year, if you've gone through mourning, you accept it. It's not like you don't care they're gone. You can still cry. You can still miss them. But when you're doing something you're enjoying and in the present not comparing to what it would be with that person.  So, acceptance, I'm pretty sure, always sucks. However, it's better than fantasy because the fantasies never happen. So, it doesn't matter if it's likely or unlikely. It's just a matter that this is your fear and the thing that's hard for people to deal with fear is to cope with it. You're going to say, “How would I try to live with the worst happening?” And people's initial response to something is, “Yeah, but I don't want that.” There are multiple reasons that we need to do acceptance. If I'm correct about denial, that's comparing reality to fantasy. Well, not acceptance means what I want will never happen. So, for me to want that there's no possibility something will occur is probably not true. I don't care if it means that maybe this reality doesn't exist and I'm going to wake up, and some of the things that discover I've created all of reality, there's nothing. I don't know that that's likely, but I can't prove it's not likely.  So, I think people go in circles. And you can hear it. The thing about the pandemic, you could hear the regular population denial. Because when I say it's comparing reality to fantasy, a lot of times that sounds cool. And people don't quite get what it means, but here are statements of denial early in the pandemic, “Well, this can't go on more than a few weeks.” Honestly, at the beginning, I was like, “Of course, it's going on for a few weeks. They have to have a vaccination. They're telling us that's two years down the road. This is going on for a long time.” Kimberley: I was in team two weeks. Jonathan: Yeah. “It can't last. I can't take it.” Saying “I can't take it,” although you're expressing the feeling like “I really hate this,” but including in the words “I can't take it” is a fantasy as if you have a choice. And in a way, luckily, most people who say they can't take it didn't kill themselves. It's proved that they can't take it. They took it. They kept going on. It's like, they didn't want to imagine continuing to live that way. So, acceptance is like, “Yeah, this is going to happen. Yes, it can keep going.” How will you try to cope with the worst? And go on, I'll shut up. You look like you want to say something. Kimberley: No, no. I'm following you. I'm really enjoying this. I actually wrote down the word “cope” right at the beginning because I think that that's such a keyword here. To stay out of the fantasy, would you say that's true? Jonathan: Well, yes. The worst might-- I mean, I always feel like if I'm doing therapy and if somebody has intolerance of uncertainty, they don't like uncertainty, I have to treat that problem. And what I mean by that is we have a lot of therapists who impose their own feelings on the client. If I have a therapist that I have somebody who's socially anxious and saying, “I'm afraid if I go in a room, some people won't like me.” Almost every therapist is going to say, “Oh, well, that's the fact, they might not like you.” But that same patient is like, “I'm afraid if I touch the doorknob, I'm going to get sick.” “Oh no, that won't happen.” Well, that's not the issue. Now therapist is-- if I have a problem of threat estimation, that's fine, but that's not it. I don't want to know that it's a low probability, I want no probability. So, we have to deal with the fact that this is what the person's afraid of. This is what they fear.  Somebody will say, “Well, but they don't have cancer issue. Why should they worry about it?” But let's face it. If they did have cancer, the focus would be coping with the fact they're dying. And if they're afraid of having cancer, I'd say the treatment is the same. Now, the only great thing is they probably won't have cancer, so it's not a fear they will have to probably deal with. They want to have the second part of it like, “And I'm dying.” But to be more prepared-- and I think what you've done wisely, like hearing that, yes, what you've done wisely is you're talking about the fact that this is not just a nosy problem. This is a problem for everyone, coping with uncertainty.  I hate to do a plug. It's okay. It's a while away. Actually, Liz McIngvale and I, we're working on a book, talking about-- well, the book is partially-- and we'll be doing some talks on it. We're saying that ERP is not the gold standard of treatment for OCD. And we're going to say that it's not the gold standard because it's lacking the gold. It really needs to be ERP plus gold. But that's awkward because I like to be calling these initials. So, we want to use initials. Do you happen to know the chemical symbol for gold? Kimberley: F-- no. FE is copper.  Jonathan: No, that's iron.  Kimberley: Iron.  Jonathan: Yeah. AU. Kimberley: AU. Jonathan: The gold standard of treatment-- Kimberley: Like Australia. Jonathan: Well, no. ERP plus AU. AU as in Accepting Uncertainty. Kimberley: Oh, my trap. Jonathan: Yeah. It took me a while to work that around.  Kimberley: Now you sure it's not Australia.  Jonathan: But our point is what we want to write. We want to write a book that's not only about helping therapists deal with every presentation of OCD and how you deal with the uncertainty problem, but we're also arguing that it's a book for everyone that people can learn from OCD, a disorder that intolerance uncertainty is like the core. Because I always feel that our clients who get better, they're not normal. They are better than normal because they're coping with uncertainty, because the average person really doesn't do that. Well, I mean, in the pandemic, you got to see how bad non-sufferers are. So, I think the core of coping with mental obsessions is this. Well, what if the worst happens? And so many people, “I don't want to think it,” and that leaves us stuck because we're not stupid. If you say to somebody-- if you get a phone call from police and they say your spouse has died, your first response is you're just in this shock and you're just like frozen. And for a lot of things that are bad, that's the way people stop thinking. It's like, “I don't want to think about it.” The thing is, if the police make that call, something happens next. And life goes on.  And back for clients, I often ask that in a sneaky way. What if this did happen? What would be next? What if he did have-- the doctor says, “Yeah, it can,” so I freak out. What does that look like? “I'd be screaming.” You're in the doctor's office, screaming. How long are you going to do that? And then you're going to go home and you need dinner. What do you do the next day? And even though we're going through something that sounds terribly scary, people oddly feel better after that. Now, this is first session. It's not like they've done treatment, but they feel better because a statement that is true, you can't do what you won't imagine. And I don't mean this as you would say, in the flowers and unicorns kind of way that you can do anything you can imagine. I do not mean that. But if you won't even imagine it, you can't do it. So, what would you do in X situation where it's like, no. Well, it's like the world is ending. When we imagine it, it's not like it's good. But it's like, oh, because the feeling that accompanies acceptance is a down, depressing feeling like, “Oh, that could happen.” However, it's not frantic. Denial is frantic. “That can't happen. No, no.” Again, everything at least has some low probability. Some things are higher. You could have cancer, yes. Your family could die. Those things are like, they're there. So, it's not like I get the choice. So, the statement of denial is frantic. The statement of acceptance is depressing, but it's not frantic. And so, I don't care how bad the disaster is. How would you try to cope? Because in most realities, that's what you're going to do. And I could pause at this moment because I don't know if this would be the point where I would then be shifting to, well, what are the mental compulsives we're talking about here? Because I think again, each one has its own set of arguments. You've heard my general thing. In some ways I think I'm reasonably good at applying it to myself. I think there's some areas I haven't been tested in. So, that's nice. I hope I could be-- I know what I want is possible because I've seen people do it. Would I be one of those good people? I can only hope. But at least because I know people have done it, I know it's possible. I like to believe-- go on, you. Yes. Kimberley: What does that look like? Can you paint me a picture of a client who does well using this strategy at managing mental compulsions? Jonathan: A client that I-- there's a podcast on that, the OC stories, he was afraid of going crazy. And he had had this from age 19 to his late forties. And he had ERP, but ERP was always focused likely and we're going to focus on going crazy and all this stuff. Know whatever explicit just said to him, the goal of treatment is for you to risk going crazy. I told him that the first session and he began to cry because he's been spending more than 30 years trying to avoid this. And I'm saying, “Oh yeah, this might happen.” And many people really are able to accept. And I never talk about accepting uncertainty. I talk about learning to accept uncertainty. Because really, if I can talk to you-- if it's just a decision, we're done the first session. But most people are convinced of recession. It took about three months to help convince him. And he kept going back and forth. And so, convincing him, we went through a number of things to work on it.  So, I'm describing it quickly, so it sounds simple. But remember, three months. The first reason, and this is true of almost all rituals, mental compulsions, regardless, you don't have a choice. All your rituals do not prevent you from going crazy. He's avoiding places because you've got an anxiety attack there, so I'm not going to go there. It's like, sorry, it's a biological process that you're going crazy. That's doing nothing. So, one is, your rituals don't work. Two, for pretty much anything, you don't have a choice. Uncertainty is the fact of life. We talked about what it would look like and he went crazy. And we were going-- and we talked about, well, what's going to happen? Where are you going to go? He went through all these things. And because he's logical, at some point it's like, it could happen.  And at that point, he's then able to spend the other work, which is not fun, which is then imagining going crazy and looking at all the things that scare the heck out of him so he could begin to function again. We wanted to treat going crazy, the way most people do this is not their problem. Treat, getting main paralyzed and disfigured in a car crash. We all know it's possible. Our brilliant plan is generally, I hope it doesn't happen. I'm not dealing with it until I'm bleeding out, crushed under the metal. To say, “I'm not going to be in a car accident today,” it's like, really? I can't say that. So, our goal is to get whatever uncertainties in life there are to be like that. And it doesn't matter whether I'm afraid of going crazy. I'm afraid that I'm going to be a pedophile. I'm going to slice and dice my wife tonight. I'm going to flunk the test. These people don't like me. It doesn't matter what it is. It's still always the same. I mean, we can talk about odds, but not as simply reassurance because, again, it's reassurance if I want to know it's low odds, but if I want it to not be possible, it's not reassuring. It's like, it's probably not this, but it might be how we deal with it is that way.  The other thing that we look at is, how does it work for you to fight against this uncertainty? What are you losing? And of course, the more pathological the problem is, the worse it is. So, if I have OCD, it could be destroying my life. I'm not only hurting myself, I'm hurting my family. Let's go how you're really torturing everybody. And sometimes I think, in that case, we're looking for reasons to get better. I always like people to look at all the harm they're doing to themselves and their family. And I think in a brilliant way, just to plug you, I think your book, your new book really partially addresses that because the self-compassion part isn't just like, okay, be nice to yourself, stop suffering. It's like, if you're going to love yourself, what kind of life do you want to make for yourself? What are your values going to be? Because I think we transform this process of coping into something more than simply confronting fear. It becomes something for myself. And secondarily, not as preferable, but sometimes easier to get to – it becomes not only confronting a fear, it becomes an act of love. Because you know what, I'm going to stop being a pain in the ass to my family. I'm now going to put all of us first.  And so, we're really going to have-- what are my values, and how does this interfere with my values? And again, it doesn't have to be as major as I'm dysfunctional, torturing my family with something OCD for any worry. Everybody's going to be happier if I can cope with my worries better. I mean, my family's going to be happier because they love me. It's really nice to see me not freaking out because they don't have-- because you want to help and there's no way to help. So, for me to be better and calmer and coping is nice for them. It's certainly nice for me, and isn't that what I would prefer in life? And so, when, when my life depends on me having a worry that's not allowed to happen, I don't get to enjoy things.  Another coping thing I do that's smaller is I will ask people to notice what they're enjoying, no matter how, whatever level, even 5%. I think many times people will say, “Everything sucks, I don't enjoy anything because of this problem.” Now that's not entirely true because in the course of interviewing them, there are a few times I'll get them to laugh for three seconds. And I admit if laughing three seconds were the goal, wow, that'd be great. But three seconds of laughter isn't much compared to a life of misery. But the thing is, they don't even notice that ever. The entire experience has been horrible and it's like-- and to get them to notice not what it should be, but what it was.  I once did this with a guy. I sent him to the movies and I said, “Watch the movie, just tell me whatever you enjoyed. I don't care how little.” And he came back and he said, “It didn't work. Everything was horrible.” I'm like, “Okay, now tell me about the movie.” So, he was describing the movie to me, it was a war movie, and it is clear, this guy liked the climax. So, I'm like-- Kimberley: Isn't that funny? The way our brain works? Jonathan: Yeah. And I said, “That was pretty cool, that climax. Are you sorry you saw that?” “No.” I said, “Okay, you didn't do my assignment. Notice whatever you enjoyed. I don't care that it's not as good as it should have been. You clearly like that.” And it makes a difference because it means a two-hour experience that he comes away believing he had nothing. It would be a slight change to go like, “I enjoyed a little bit of that.” I try to tell people, think of it as like a little while of enjoyment that you don't notice exists, and we want to expand those. And most people would recognize that in a way, what we're talking about is a little bit of mindfulness. Like, okay, it sucks. I'm not arguing it doesn't suck, but a lot of mindfulness. It isn't like, I'm going to put you in a happy land. It's like, we were trying to do AND, not OR. The beginning of the pandemic, Kathy and I, we're out on our pandemic walk. And she said to me, “This would be such a great day if all this wasn't going on.” I said, “You're wrong, Kathy.” We should let you and your listeners know. You don't know this, but your husband does. Being married to a psychologist is not necessarily fun. Kimberley: So true. Jonathan: It is a beautiful day. We're walking together, it's beautiful. We're together, it is beautiful. It is a beautiful day AND it sucks that there's a pandemic.  Kimberley: So true.  Jonathan: Not OR, it's AND. In a sense, mindfulness is teaching us to live in that world of AND. This is awful AND I can still enjoy stuff, as opposed to it's either or. And again, some people go like, “Well, that's awful.” And that's perfectly true, because we're going back to what is acceptance. Acceptance sucks. It's the second-best life. However, what's really great about the second-best life, the first best doesn't exist. So, it's like, yeah, it's second-best, but it's this or nothing. So, I think those are a lot of the principles of doing it and I think to do it, it's like, why would I take this risk? It's not a risk, but essentially, it's like, why would I accept living like this, whatever this is? And I don't have a choice. What am I losing by not living like this? Am I hurting my family? What would life be like if I could be okay with this? Depending who you are, that's an incredibly amazing change or it's a minor change. I mean, if I'm a very competent worrier and very successful, we're talking about way more peace. But if I'm competent, I'm interfering with my life and taking up a lot of time, we're now making major changes in the quality of life. And as you know, I can obsess or worry about anything from like, “I need to be the best.” And I always ask people, what is so good about best? Because God forbid, you should be mediocre. God forbid, you should be a happy mediocre person than the best person. And so, for some-- Kimberley: Well, that's still a piece of denial, isn't it? They have this idea that the best is no pain. Jonathan: Yeah. Kimberley: There's no pain at the top. Jonathan: Yeah. Right. And generally, there's some other assumption that-- I don't know. Somehow, I'm deficient of, I'm not best. So, it's like the only way I can know. It's another set of issues. What is it that I fear that I have to cope with? Not being best. Okay, I get you want to be best. Why? Well, best is best. I mean, it's nice, I guess. When I think about being well-known, I generally think of being well-known as icing. That is, what makes my life great? For me, I love what I'm doing, and what I'm doing is, besides talking a lot because I love talking, but I like working with people, and I just really enjoy it. I have no plans on retiring because I like this too much. That's almost all year round. Being famous and well-known, that's about six days a year when I go to conventions. And I say, it's like icing to indicate I am weak enough. I'll admit I'm weak enough to really enjoy it. But I also recognize it is nothing. It doesn't have any substance. And the thing about fame, you're always going to lose it. You're never famous enough. And there's a poem by Shelly that I think really characterizes it. It describes a traveler in an ancient land. It's come across a huge fallen monument and it's describing the magnificence of what this had been. And he comes to the base of the statue where these words are written: “My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!” That's fame. It's empty I can gorge, but it doesn't mean anything because what I enjoy is what I actually do. It'd be sad if my life was like, it's good six days a year when I can feel it. Kimberley: Right. And I think what's important, particularly for the sufferer, is you still have uncertainty in your life. Jonathan: I don't know any way to be certain, so I know nothing. Kimberley: Right. You know what I was reflecting on, and this is just me reflecting, is last year, maybe it was the beginning of this year, I gave myself the exercise to catch the mini toddler tantrums that showed up in my mind. Jonathan: I love that term. Great. Did you make that up? Kimberley: I think I did because it-- Jonathan: Take credit. It's great. Love it. Kimberley: It feels like a toddler tantrum in my mind. Jonathan: It's perfect. It's that “But I don't want that.” I love it. Oh, I love it. Go on. Kimberley: Yeah. I did a whole podcast about it last year because I was just noticing toddler tantrum after toddler tantrum, and I regulate myself really well. But it was showing up. And then as you're talking, I'm thinking about how that was me resisting acceptance. That toddler tantrum is probably where I have the option to pull out of rumination and be present when I can catch it and be like, “Okay, you're totally in denial. You're in a fantasy land.” And so, that really speaks to me as a way to catch when you're up in that place of rumination. Jonathan: That's perfect. Kimberley: Yeah. For me, that was really powerful. I love that you brought that up because I think that is the bridge. I'm totally out of acceptance when I'm in a toddler tantrum. Jonathan: Right. Because when you get better, as you're describing, you can deal that pull of like, “This is what it is. No, no, no.” You can feel that pull back and forth because you don't get completely lost and it's like, ah. Kimberley: Yeah. It was such a visual. I could see it tantruming out. “No, no, no.” And so, I love that you brought that in particularly in this way, like I said, of catching the compulsion. So, thank you. That actually consolidated-- Jonathan: I'm just now obsessing about how I'm going to work this in. We'll give you credit. Kimberley: You do. The Kimberly Quinlan “toddler tantrum,” I'm very well-known for it now. No, I am so thankful for you for bringing all this up. Is there-- because I want to be respectful of your time, is there anything else that you want to address when it comes to conceptualizing or managing mental compulsions? Jonathan: I think that I'm afraid I have to be patient. Again, thinking about death, I don't get to accept just because I want to. You have some people who try to accept like, “I'm accepting and I'm accepting it.” It's like, yeah, sorry. I can be working towards learning it. I think sometimes people have an insight. An insight is not like you suddenly know some new piece of information. Insight is something that you basically knew, suddenly it's true. I had somebody have that the other day when that's hurting and they felt like it was trivial trying to explain to me what happened, but I already had this concept. I said, “I know. It's like, you've always known you feel like going wrong.” “No, you don't get it. It's really true.” So, it was very cool.  And so, I think it's a gradual process where I get better at it. And because life is completely uncertain in every which way, there's always opportunities to practice it, better personal. And you may scare other people. And one client who was very scared of a lot of things, especially of one of their pets dying. As they got uncertain and told, and then they could talk about it pretty calmly with people, “Oh yeah, I think she's going to die at some point.” And people would be horrified. She could sound so calm, but she was like, not that she likes it and she really doesn't want it to happen, but she could also think about it and think about life after that. And I think some people mistakenly will say something like, “Oh my God, you're making life complete miserable. All you're thinking about is all these nightmares that can happen all the time. That's terrible.” That's crazy because-- I thought I'd use a clinical term. Because what happens when I accept uncertainty?  Somebody else has said this. Unfortunately, I haven't made it up. I become, in a positive way, hopeless future. And what I mean by hopeless is the way most people who aren't scared of the car crash, or it's not like, I'm okay with a car crash. It's like, what can I do? And when I become hopeless about control, that is when I get to live in the present because I'm no longer in the past or the future. Let's face it. The truth is that's all we have. The past of great memories or terrible memories, the future's hopes, all we have is the present, this moment, my entire life and your entire life with each other. Everything else we like might not be there at this moment. So, I get to have the only thing there is, which is the present. And again, I can't just decide because you see people do this, “I'm going to live in the present. I'm going to enjoy the present now. Enjoy the present.” It's like, I have to learn to give things up.  To steal from this woman who wrote this book of compassion: “To be kind to myself, to let myself learn, to not expect it all at once.” Again, if we were talking OCD, I don't know why we were talking about that. If we were talking about OCD, every particular variation has its own uncertainties to cope with. Scrupulosity, how do I learn to believe in a God and simultaneously admit I might be wrong? How do I live in a world where probably I'm not going to slice and dice Kathy tonight? But if I do, how would I try to-- what would I do the next step? When my son was 16 and going out on dates. And of course, he would never be home on time. And Kathy always wanted to call him. And I wouldn't let her call him not to be nice to him, but I knew as she knew, his cell phone would be on. So, calling somebody you're worried about in their cell phone on is not going to be comforting. So, she'd go like, “Well, when can I call him?” So, I'd make this mental calculation. Okay, he should be home now. I think he'll be home in these many minutes. And let me add another half hour and say, you can call him dead. And she could for some reason, which is unusual, she would then go to sleep. And I would go there and I think, “Huh, he's probably okay. He's probably not doing anything terrible. Probably nothing terrible is happening to him. But tonight could be the night that our lives change and everything is screwed up forever.” And then I would go to sleep. That's just the truth. Kimberley: Yeah. It's powerful. I'll be calling you, and my kids are teenagers, saying “Coach me, coach me.” Jonathan: Yeah. And I will give you the following advice. It gets so much easier when they're 23.  Kimberley: Yes, I know. Jonathan: Until your acceptance is, “Oh yeah,” you're screwed till then. Kimberley: It's true. I'm so grateful for you and your time and all your wisdom. I feel like I'm sitting and just absorbing it all for myself, which I'm loving.  Jonathan: Thank you. Kimberley: Tell us, I know you've been on the podcast before, but tell us where people can hear more about you and your work. You obviously have a new book, which I did not know about. Jonathan: Well, we are working on it and we're at the stage of working it, not procrastinating. We're at the stage of doing a bunch of presentations on the idea, because I've just seen so many treatments fail because it didn't address uncertainty. Although I always focus on certainty, it really is-- the bottom part of dealing with that is coping with life. It transcends OCD. So, I don't know. What would you like to know about me? Kimberley: Where can people find you? Jonathan: Where can people find me? Easily on the internet. Website is a laocdtreatment.com. But I think my name plus OCD tends to come up a lot.  Kimberley: Your book? Jonathan: I have a book. It's Freedom From OCD. I think there are a lot of good OCD books. Of course, I like mine because I agree with it most. But it's a little scary when people read it before they see me because it is almost my entire repertoire minus maybe about 40 minutes. I feel like I'm going to be repeating myself, but somehow that doesn't seem to be a problem. Apparently, hearing it out loud is different than reading it.  Kimberley: Well, and that's the whole point, right? I have the same situation as people need to hear it more than once too, in some cases. Not as a form of reassurance, but I think we all need to hear it. Even me today having a little light bulb moment I think is really cool, even though I've heard that before. So, I will have your website and your work in the show notes. Jonathan: Very kind. Kimberley: Thank you so much for being here and sharing. Jonathan: I don't know if you figured it out yet. I know I've told you this, but I'll just repeat it. Probably if you asked me to come on, the answer will always be yes. So, thank you. Kimberley: I'm so happy. No, I remember you saying that last time. Like I said to you, before we started recording, I have wanted to do this series for quite a while. And I had you right there going. I already put you on the list because I already knew. You told me you would say yes. Jonathan: And so, apparently, I'm not dishonest or not that dishonest. Kimberley: Not at all. When I texted to ask you, I actually already had you on the list and scheduled you in. Jonathan: It was a confidence that you could well have. Kimberley: Yeah. I'm so grateful. And yes, we will definitely have you on. It's always a pleasure. Jonathan: All right. Okay. Take care. Thank you very much.

The Accountability Coach: Business Acceleration|Productivity
6 Stages for Changed Behavior and Achieved Goals

The Accountability Coach: Business Acceleration|Productivity

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 7:16


One of the most difficult challenges of sticking to your goals personally and professionally is changing your behavior. Goals like improving your health, reaching a milestone, or revising daily routines aren't easy. In fact, studies show that our brains don't like change, are wired for laziness, and have a limited capacity. Ouch! And we often fail because we don't practice the correct steps. As with any process, there's an order to follow. For example, when administering first aid, it's vital to work sequentially. Before caring for an injured or ill person, you should call for help. Then you check for breathing and a pulse to determine if CPR is needed. Next, if a wound is present, you must attempt to protect yourself from bloodborne pathogens before trying to stop bleeding. Or let's say you're painting a room in your house. Obviously, you need to choose your paint color (will it be Arizona Dust? Blissful Blue? Soft Candlelight? Gallery Gray?) and purchase the proper amount. You should then prep the area. You'll likely move furniture, tape off the trim, and cover the floor with a drop cloth. After all, you wouldn't want to open that fresh can of paint on unprotected carpet! Putting in the time for preparation saves you a big headache (and extensive clean-up) later on. Likewise, there are steps to changing behavior in order to successfully reach your goals. Let's take a closer look at what's required. Awareness in Changing Your Behavior To make any significant changes, you'll first want to understand what's going on in your brain when trying to stick with your goals. There are six possible stages that you'll go through: 1. Pre-contemplation. At this point, you're not interested in making any changes. In fact, you don't consider your actions as problematic or lacking, and you'll likely continue in your normal everyday behavior. You'd probably feel defensive if someone approached you and suggested change. 2. Contemplation. By now, you've contemplated, or thought about, making changes. You're open to suggestions but a bit ambivalent. And you may not be entirely sure that you want to move forward. Often, this stage lasts the longest because spurring yourself to action can feel like an overwhelming battle. 3. Preparation. Here, you've committed to change. You're researching resources and strategies to be successful. You're preparing to move forward with changes. You actually take the needed steps to reach your goal. I should point out that many people try to skip this stage and go straight to action, but they'll often fail because they lack the required knowledge for success. Lesson learned—do your preparation. 4. Action. This is where the action happens…your behavior changes with focused effort. Transformation occurs at this stage, and while it can feel a bit stressful, it's also an exciting, motivating time that opens new doors. You'll exercise the proper restraint and willpower needed to move toward your goal. And remember—action breeds motivation to keep going. Unfortunately, this is often the shortest stage because slips are possible depending on your motivation. 5. Maintenance. Maintaining means you're dedicated to staying on track, but the truth is, this stage is challenging. You had good intentions when you started, but the focus on meeting your goals has lessened in intensity. So this is also the stage where you're most likely to relapse even though you know what you're striving for is meaningful and worthwhile. 6. Relapse. At the last step, maintenance is over. You've lost the battle. You could call this the fall from grace. You've not successfully followed through, so you'll want to identify the trigger that caused your relapse, and possibly start again if you want to reach your next level of success. By recognizing where you are in the change process, you'll be better equipped to alter your behavior and reach your goals. Honestly examine the six stages I just talked about and evaluate your current condition. After all, as Louise Hay, best-selling author, speaker, model, and actress said, “If we want to change our reality, then it's time for us to change our minds”. Once you know which stage you're in and which one is likely to give you the most trouble, you're more prepared to stick with your goals. My advice, more than anything, is to take the time to invest in yourself. Surround yourself with motivators. And beyond that, don't let falling off track discourage you. Pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and get back in the game. Once you've determined where your mentality is getting stuck, you can then pick up the proper goal setting steps. By doing so, you'll be headed in the direction of reaching your dreams. For more help with your goal setting and achievement plans, you can always reach out to me. I'd love to offer my assistance on your journey to success. Contact to me today to schedule your complimentary consultation. Aim for what you want each and every day! Anne Bachrach The Accountability Coach™ The Results Accelerator™ Get your daily Accountability Minute shot of a single, simple, doable idea, so you can start your day off on the "right foot". You can find The Accountability Minute on https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/my-podcast/ as well as on most podcast platforms and in most English-speaking countries. Subscribe to my high-value business success tips and resources Blog https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/blog/) If you are getting value from any of Podcasts, please take a minute to leave me a short rating and review. I would really appreciate it, and love to hear from you. Take advantage of all the complimentary business tips and tools by joining the Free Silver Membership on https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/coaching-store/inner-circle-store/. - Subscribe to my YouTube channel with business success principles (https://www.youtube.com/annebachrach) - Connect with me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/TheAccountabilityCoach) - Connect with me on Linked-in (https://www.linkedin.com/in/annebachrach) - Connect with me on Pinterest (https://pinterest.com/resultsrule/) - Connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/annebachrach/) As an experienced accountability coach and author of 5 books, I help business professionals make more money, work less, and enjoy even better work life balance. Check out my proven business accelerator resources by going to https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/coaching-store/. Author of Excuses Don't Count; Results Rule, Live Life with No Regrets, No Excuses, and the Work Life Balance Emergency Kit, The Roadmap To Success with Stephen Covey and Ken Blanchard, and more.

Goal Setting & Achievement Podcast: Business|Productivity
6 Stages for Changed Behavior and Achieved Goals

Goal Setting & Achievement Podcast: Business|Productivity

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 7:16


One of the most difficult challenges of sticking to your goals personally and professionally is changing your behavior. Goals like improving your health, reaching a milestone, or revising daily routines aren't easy. In fact, studies show that our brains don't like change, are wired for laziness, and have a limited capacity. Ouch! And we often fail because we don't practice the correct steps. As with any process, there's an order to follow. For example, when administering first aid, it's vital to work sequentially. Before caring for an injured or ill person, you should call for help. Then you check for breathing and a pulse to determine if CPR is needed. Next, if a wound is present, you must attempt to protect yourself from bloodborne pathogens before trying to stop bleeding. Or let's say you're painting a room in your house. Obviously, you need to choose your paint color (will it be Arizona Dust? Blissful Blue? Soft Candlelight? Gallery Gray?) and purchase the proper amount. You should then prep the area. You'll likely move furniture, tape off the trim, and cover the floor with a drop cloth. After all, you wouldn't want to open that fresh can of paint on unprotected carpet! Putting in the time for preparation saves you a big headache (and extensive clean-up) later on. Likewise, there are steps to changing behavior in order to successfully reach your goals. Let's take a closer look at what's required. Awareness in Changing Your Behavior To make any significant changes, you'll first want to understand what's going on in your brain when trying to stick with your goals. There are six possible stages that you'll go through: 1. Pre-contemplation. At this point, you're not interested in making any changes. In fact, you don't consider your actions as problematic or lacking, and you'll likely continue in your normal everyday behavior. You'd probably feel defensive if someone approached you and suggested change. 2. Contemplation. By now, you've contemplated, or thought about, making changes. You're open to suggestions but a bit ambivalent. And you may not be entirely sure that you want to move forward. Often, this stage lasts the longest because spurring yourself to action can feel like an overwhelming battle. 3. Preparation. Here, you've committed to change. You're researching resources and strategies to be successful. You're preparing to move forward with changes. You actually take the needed steps to reach your goal. I should point out that many people try to skip this stage and go straight to action, but they'll often fail because they lack the required knowledge for success. Lesson learned—do your preparation. 4. Action. This is where the action happens…your behavior changes with focused effort. Transformation occurs at this stage, and while it can feel a bit stressful, it's also an exciting, motivating time that opens new doors. You'll exercise the proper restraint and willpower needed to move toward your goal. And remember—action breeds motivation to keep going. Unfortunately, this is often the shortest stage because slips are possible depending on your motivation. 5. Maintenance. Maintaining means you're dedicated to staying on track, but the truth is, this stage is challenging. You had good intentions when you started, but the focus on meeting your goals has lessened in intensity. So this is also the stage where you're most likely to relapse even though you know what you're striving for is meaningful and worthwhile. 6. Relapse. At the last step, maintenance is over. You've lost the battle. You could call this the fall from grace. You've not successfully followed through, so you'll want to identify the trigger that caused your relapse, and possibly start again if you want to reach your next level of success. By recognizing where you are in the change process, you'll be better equipped to alter your behavior and reach your goals. Honestly examine the six stages I just talked about and evaluate your current condition. After all, as Louise Hay, best-selling author, speaker, model, and actress said, “If we want to change our reality, then it's time for us to change our minds”. Once you know which stage you're in and which one is likely to give you the most trouble, you're more prepared to stick with your goals. My advice, more than anything, is to take the time to invest in yourself. Surround yourself with motivators. And beyond that, don't let falling off track discourage you. Pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and get back in the game. Once you've determined where your mentality is getting stuck, you can then pick up the proper goal setting steps. By doing so, you'll be headed in the direction of reaching your dreams. For more help with your goal setting and achievement plans, you can always reach out to me. I'd love to offer my assistance on your journey to success. Contact to me today to schedule your complimentary consultation. Aim for what you want each and every day! Anne Bachrach The Accountability Coach™ The Results Accelerator™ Get your daily Accountability Minute shot of a single, simple, doable idea, so you can start your day off on the "right foot". You can find The Accountability Minute on https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/my-podcast/ as well as on most podcast platforms and in most English-speaking countries. Subscribe to my high-value business success tips and resources Blog https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/blog/) If you are getting value from any of Podcasts, please take a minute to leave me a short rating and review. I would really appreciate it, and love to hear from you. Take advantage of all the complimentary business tips and tools by joining the Free Silver Membership on https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/coaching-store/inner-circle-store/. - Subscribe to my YouTube channel with business success principles (https://www.youtube.com/annebachrach) - Connect with me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/TheAccountabilityCoach) - Connect with me on Linked-in (https://www.linkedin.com/in/annebachrach) - Connect with me on Pinterest (https://pinterest.com/resultsrule/) - Connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/annebachrach/) As an experienced accountability coach and author of 5 books, I help business professionals make more money, work less, and enjoy even better work life balance. Check out my proven business accelerator resources by going to https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/coaching-store/. Author of Excuses Don't Count; Results Rule, Live Life with No Regrets, No Excuses, and the Work Life Balance Emergency Kit, The Roadmap To Success with Stephen Covey and Ken Blanchard, and more.

The Teach Joyfully Podcast
096: 11 Tips for Summer Reading Success

The Teach Joyfully Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 16:05


How do you inspire your students to actually do summer reading? Once summer hits, kids' schedules go haywire and all bets are off when it comes to practicing reading and other skills. Honestly, I never did summer homework as a kid. But, I did read. A lot. Why? Well, I was a committed reader. I learned to love books and reading early on.  But, how do we inspire our students and their families to keep the reading going all summer? In today's episode, I have a few tips for you. Don't forget to check out all the resources and grab the FREE Million Words Reading Challenge. It's all in the show notes! TEACH JOYFULLY FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theteachinglab INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lisa_j_burns

You Want To Do What?
Sidemen Manager - Jordan Schwarzenberger

You Want To Do What?

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 36:09


We chat with Jordan about managing some of the biggest content creators in the world. Jordans career is incredible, if you are thinking about getting into the world of social media and content creation this is a must listen. From a very early age Jordan loved to create brands and building businesses including a clothing brand and a magazine. We also discuss university vs going straight into work and the perks of the latter for those wanting to get into this industry. Jordan has worked for some of the most recognised online publications such as VICE, LAD Bible etc which gave him an incredible insight into how to create great content at scale. He now manages the Sidemen who have taken social media and content creation by storm, building some of the biggest personal brands in the space, Jordan and the team at Arcade media are working to create Brands & Businesses for the sidemen by leveraging their massive influence, one of their latest projects is SIDES a fried chicken chain, which is growing rapidly. Honestly one of my favourite recordings so far, Jordan provides so much value for those that want to get into the industry.   

1% Podcast w/ David Nurse | NBA Life/Optimization Coach Interviews NBA Athletes & High Performers on Mindset & Unshakeable Co

UCLA Women's Head Basketball Coach, Team USA Assistant Coach, and one of the most impactful leaders in sports! Cori's coaching resume speaks for itself, but what stands even above the wins is the leader she is! Cori goes in-depth on what it means to be a true coach (both a leader and developer of great people) and her mentor she spent every Tuesday evening with the one and only John Wooden! The story of how she met Wooden will blow your mind!  ELEVE HEALTH Hyperbaric Chambers (HBOT) is a simple and non-invasive therapy that places the body in a pressurized environment that allows the extra oxygen to dissolve into the blood plasma and to travel freely through the circulatory system, getting to areas where red blood cells may be restricted in flow, naturally enhancing the human body's functions. It is a GAME CHANGER for total recovery, optimization, longevity, skin repair, brain health, and so much more! Check them out here! https://elevehealth.com/ (email info@davidnurse.com for special rates!) ________________________________________________________ I am all about wellness hacks, and I truly believe in these products. Make sure to click the links to get my special discounts. #BreakthroughPartners ChiliSleep™ will give you the BEST night of sleep, EVERY night! Honestly, using ChiliSleep products has been a game-changer in optimizing my sleep. • Code NURSE20 to get 20% off the Cube Sleep System with Chilipad® Cool Mesh™ • Code NURSE15 to get 15% OOLER® Sleep System with Chilipad® Cool Mesh™ ChiliSleep Discounts  ________________________________________________________  WORKOUT™coffee takes your coffee to another level by integrating TheaFit™, an all-natural, high potency, theaflavin-enriched black tea extract, patented and clinically proven to increase exercise performance and reduce recovery time. Since you follow me, you get 20% off with my code Nurse20 to use at checkout. Make sure to follow WORKOUT™coffee on Instagram and Facebook. Buy WORKOUT™ Coffee ________________________________________________________ Luxee is a really awesome seasonal box that caters to performers, athletes, and entrepreneurs. They curate and ship award-winning products directly to your door at over 50% retail value...Ladder Sport, Legends athletic apparel, Manscaped, and HVMN are just a few. Check out their Spring Box now and snag 25% off using my code DAVID25. #ShopLuxee Now!  _______________________________________  HVMN Ketone-IQ™ - is one of my new favorite products! I love this drinkable ketone which supports mental clarity, athletic performance, and metabolic health. No caffeine. No sugar—just clean, natural energy to power your brain and body. All the gains here! Use my custom code DAVID for 10% off. Buy Ketone-IQ™ here

The Women's Running Podcast
Ep 92. Mugs, menopause, HRT and Eurovision

The Women's Running Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 92:40


In this episode Holly and I start by chatting about her very brilliant mug. So it's all very standard really. Honestly, we go on about it for AGES, so if you want informed running chat you have definitely come to the wrong place. Try that boring podcast over there.  There is a bit of running, I promise, but I'm afraid we then quickly disappear into a little Eurovision love-fest.But then we have a very special guest – the brilliant Dr Juliet McGrattan, who is a runner AND a doctor, two good things in one. I wanted to talk to her specifically about the perimenopause, and HRT, and running because I've been bitten by the Davina bug. I wanted to involve Holly this time cos I wish I'd had this sort of information when I was in my 20s, it's so important for us to educate our younger girls and women about the menopause in just the same way as we do periods and pregnancy. So we have a lovely in depth convo about symptoms, about running and managing those symptoms, and we talk about HRT – of which I feel very much in the dark and I really wanted to find out more about what it can offer my perimenopausal self. We also talk about what's great about the menopause, because it's important to acknowledge that while many of us will have struggles, there are a whole bunch of upsides which Juliet details and which I, for one, intend to embrace wholeheartedly.Holly and I come back after our meno chat to discuss really important things such as hugely embarrassing moments and whether or not I should do a track half marathon. But more importantly, we have a belter of an embarrassing running story – one that involves a children's game and A&E. Send us yours please! Tree HourSunday 5th June is Global Environment Day, a day where if you simply sign up through Earth Runs for a 1-hour challenge, to run, walk, cycle or roll for 60 minutes, then for every minute you are moving forward, a tree will be planted for you. Join us to plant as many trees as we can!Women's Running magazineIf you like this podcast, you will love Women's Running magazine. Right now, you can read each issue every month right on your phone for just £2.99 a month. Just use the code WRSPR22POD at the checkout.PatreonWe've launched ourselves on to Patreon as we need your help to keep going. Please support us with whatever you can and you'll get some lovely patron-only perks.  LinksGet more of a Dr Juliet fix Check out her brilliant book, Run Well: Essential health questions and answers for runnersSupport the show

Path to Well-Being in Law
Path to Well-Being in Law – Episode 22: Lia Dorsey

Path to Well-Being in Law

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 39:23


CHRIS NEWBOLD: Hello, well-being friends, and welcome to The Path To Well-Being in Law podcast, an initiative of the Institute for Well-Being in Law. I'm your co-host Chris Newbold, executive vice president of Alps Malpractice Insurance and most of our listeners know that our goal is pretty straightforward. We want to introduce you to thought leaders doing meaningful work in the wellbeing space and within the legal profession. In the process we want to build and nurture a national network of wellbeing advocates intent on creating a culture shift within the profession. I am always pleased to introduce my co-host Bree Buchanan. Bree, how's it going? BREE BUCHANAN: It's going great, Chris. How is your spring starting off? CHRIS: It's a little colder in Montana than I would like, but the warm weather is on the way. So I'm certainly looking forward to that. So a lot going on, obviously, in the wellbeing world and super excited to continue with kind of thoughtful discussion here on the podcast. We're going to continue. I think our series here on diversity, equity and inclusion and the intersection of DEI with well-being and super excited to be welcoming Lia Dorsey to the podcast. Bree, would you be so kind to introduce Lia to our listeners? BREE: I would love to. So we are so delighted to bring to you Lia Dorsey today, and she is a thought leader in the movement to advanced diversity and a driver for inclusive change. As the chief diversity equity and inclusion officer at Ogletree Deakins, she's responsible for the development and execution of the firm's diversity equity and inclusion strategy. Ms. Dorsey collaborates with firm leadership, practice group leaders and business resource groups to expand in advance efforts in the recruitment development promotion and retention of diverse talent. BREE: Ms. Dorsey previously served as the head of diversity and inclusion at Denton's, U.S. There she was responsible for the strategic oversight, design and implementation of this very large terms, diversity and inclusion initiatives. Before that she served as the director of diversity and inclusion at Eversheds Sutherland and has also held senior positions at DLA Piper and Buchanan Ingersoll & Rooney. All of those names that many of us know. Lia's also president emeritus, I told her the best place, best position to have, of the Association of Law Firm Diversity Professionals. She's a sought after presenter in panelist on a broad range of topics covering diversity, equity, and inclusion at conferences across the country. Lia, welcome. We are so glad you're here with us today. LIA DORSEY: Thank you, Bree. Thank you, Chris, for having me. I am thrilled. Thrilled to be here. BREE: Yeah. Thank you so much. So Lia, I'm going to ask you the question that we ask all of our guests, because I think it just is well, so interesting. So what are some of your experiences in your life that are drivers behind your very clear passion for the work around DEI? LIA DORSEY: Great, great question. I like to start by saying that I've always been an inclusionist, if you will, although it didn't have a term back in the day as I was growing up and I'll just kind of share just a really funny story. I used to get in trouble a lot as a child, because I would give away my toys to my friends who didn't have them. So I would always just share, I would always just give. I was always that compassionate person and I think my parents appreciated it until I gave away my brand new pink and white huffy bike with the [inaudible 00:03:54] and then I think after that, it's "Okay, I think we need to kind of reign this in and pray." But all jokes aside I've always been a giver. I've always been a giver and I live by the verse, "To whom much is given, much will be required," and I seriously take that to heart. LIA DORSEY: I've long supported those from different backgrounds and environments. I've been a volunteer for a long time. I mentor, especially now in my role, I think it's very, very important for me to reach back and pull others forward. But for me, this was just what you did as a good person, right, it was never about shine or the accolades. You helped people who need it. I'm still an inclusionist, but now I like to refer to myself as a disruptor for good. BREE: All right. LIA DORSEY: Just today I heard someone else describe herself as a professional troublemaker, and I think I'm going to borrow that one as well, because at the end of the day to do this work, you have to be brave and you have to be bold. I'm also clear that it's not for everyone, that this is by far the hardest job that I've ever had, but it's also the most rewarding and I honestly can't see myself doing anything else. BREE: Yeah. I hope that I can be a professional disruptor at some point, but it does take a lot of courage. Absolutely. So good for you. CHRIS: It does. Lia, tell us a little bit about... One of the things I was impressed about kind of how your professional journey has kind of taken shape, is you've had the ability to move in and out of different cultures within the legal profession, which I just find is really fascinating. Tell us about your journey in the area of diversity, equity and inclusion and in the time that you have been a disruptor for good, how have things changed over that time? LIA DORSEY: Yeah, so I have been in law firms for a very, very, very long time. Although, I didn't start out in DE&I. I actually started out on the business side of the law firm for years and at one particular firm, we didn't have anyone at that time leading DE&I in an official capacity. So I raised my hand, again, I would love to volunteer and that's a reoccurring theme with me. But two years later, I found myself with almost two full time jobs. So the job that I was hired to do and the job that I was meant to do, and that was the DE&I role. So that same firm really saw how passionate I was about DE&I work and just how happy I was doing it. They actually created a role for me as the director of DE&I at that firm and as they say the rest was history. LIA DORSEY: But when we think about what changed over time, I think we've seen DE&I become more of a strategic focus in priority for firms. Even before the events of 2020, I think, we started to see firms dedicate more resources to DE&I, like creating full time positions, moving away from DE&I being embedded in HR or being seen as a compliance requirement from the GCs office. So we had really started to see kind of an elevation of DE&I and the role. Then 2020 happened and we'll talk about that a little bit more, but what we saw was even more of a cohesion around DE&I. We saw leaders speaking up, stepping up. We saw a heightened level of awareness. LIA DORSEY: People became aware of issues that weren't on their radar in the past. I think the murder of George Floyd was a pivotal moment. I'm often asked how that moment was so different because sadly George Floyd, wasn't the first Black man to be murdered at the hands of police and sadly he wasn't the last, but I think the difference that the world was at home, watching it happen and people who thought things like this didn't happen were now outraged, right. But that rage led to empowerment. We have to do something. We have to say something. LIA DORSEY: So we're seeing a lot of folks speaking up more because they aren't afraid and they're making demands for change. All of that is great and that is a big change, because I would say before 2020, I don't think that you would've seen people speaking up and standing up the way that we're seeing it now. I think all of that is great, but I also think that we're in an inflection point, right, because there are forces in this world who don't want things to change. The thought is the system has worked in one way for so long, so why change it? But the only way to move forward successfully is to change and I'm one of those change agents that's working to try to make this world a better place. BREE: Absolutely. Wow, absolutely. That's so wonderful. So [inaudible 00:08:48], I've seen you... Lia, I'm sorry, seen or heard you talk about your experience over time here. What have you seen now that legal employers are doing right in this area? What are some good examples and we'll get to weaving in the intersectionality of well-being, but right now let's stick with the DEI work. What do you see as going right here? LIA DORSEY: Absolutely. I think there's much more focus and intention being put around the advancement and retention of diverse talent, specifically minority talent. Recruiting is still a focus of course, but we realize that diverse talent need meaningful support once they join the firm. So for the listeners, I just challenge them to ask themselves, how are you investing in your diverse talent? Are you having real conversations around the development of your talent because we really need to make serious and meaningful investments. I've always said that the talent is there, but the opportunities aren't always there and the opportunities that I'm talking about are things like introductions to key clients and the ability to develop client relationships. It's getting the high value work. It's being able to tap into the resources for business development and the list goes on, because we all know that these are the types of things that can really impact someone's career. LIA DORSEY: So with that as the backdrop here, a few things that I'm kind of seeing that are having a meaningful impact today. We're seeing the creation of formal DE&I sponsorship programs. So we know the difference between mentorship and sponsorship, right. So a mentor talks to you and a sponsor talks about you and the best DE&I sponsorship programs that I've seen have leaders of the firms and that's the board, it's the managing partner, the executive committee and what I like to call the front page of the [inaudible 00:10:36] sheet lawyers. But that group of people are actually the ones serving as the sponsors. That has two great benefits. One is that it shows the stakeholders that the leaders are invested in the diverse attorney's development and they aren't pushing it off on someone else to do. So we know that law firms are top down organizations, right, but having those at the top who are actively engaged in the DE&I work has a profound impact. LIA DORSEY: The second thing is that that group of people are in a position to make sure that the lawyers are getting those opportunities that are referenced, right. So they actually have the work and they can make those key introductions. So I think sponsorship programs are definitely on the rise and I think that they can be very, very effective and can lead to retention. LIA DORSEY: The second thing that I'm seeing is kind of a focus on culture overall, because we know that culture is a differentiator, right. It's the reason people stay or go. A survey by McKenzie found that the majority of employees have considered the inclusiveness of companies when they're making career decisions. I like to say this, if you ask the people at the top of the organization to describe the culture, I'm sure that what they would say is probably different than what those who aren't at the top would say. I mean, and this is what we like to call that perception gap that often exists between the leaders and the employees and it's how do we get everyone to kind of experience the culture in the same way? So just think about it and ask yourself is your culture by default or by design. BREE: Wow. LIA DORSEY: Right. So we've been talking a lot about the great resignation and the she session, but now we're... I love that term. I mean, it's sad, but it's still a good term. BREE: I love it. I hadn't heard it before. CHRIS: I hadn't either. That's a good one. BREE: She session. Yeah. LIA DORSEY: The she session. Yeah. But now we're talking about the great reboot or the great realization and the reality is that the world is different since the start of the pandemic. People are expecting to work differently and they want companies to kind of meet more in their needs. So this is really an opportunity for firms to reimagine their workplace and their culture. Then the last thing I would say here is the inclusion of staff, right. Inclusion really is inclusion for all and not for some, but we know that law firms typically focus on the benefits of the lawyers and now we're seeing staff being introduced into that conversation, which is long overdue, but it's definitely necessary. If I can just touch just quickly on the things that don't work. BREE: Yeah. Please, please. CHRIS: Yeah. For sure. Lessons learned. LIA DORSEY: When companies don't make DE&I a priority. So when they still think it's just a nice to do, or if the efforts are just performative and they're doing it because their clients are kind of forcing them to do it. So you have to make it a priority. It has to be part of the overall firm strategy. And then if your leaders aren't engaged, and I'll talk a little bit more later about the difference between commitment and engagement, if they aren't engaged, then you're probably not going to have a lot of success. BREE: Right, right. So important. CHRIS: It seems Lia that you're, I feel like in your tone that you are optimistic that the level of engagement and particularly leadership leaning in, is increasing. Is that fair? LIA DORSEY: It is. It is definitely increasing. There were people who just because they could have been checked out of this conversation for such a long time, and now they are checking into the conversation. But I'll also say that just because you're checking in it doesn't always mean that you know what to do and know what to say and that's where folks like me and people who do this kind of work can really help with that. But I am definitely encouraged and I like to look at life as glass, half full with the way that things are progressing and the level of interest by certain stakeholders. It's really encouraging. CHRIS: Yeah. Because I know we're going to talk about this a little bit more, but I just think it's so fascinating how, as you know, even in the work that Bree and I do on the well-being front, so much of what maybe I'm going to say, not the easy part, but building awareness and educating others is one element to it. But ultimately action and taking on systemic barriers become probably the harder part of advancing social change and being a catalyst for cultural shifts, right. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes decades, right, to effectively be able to do that. But I find such interesting similarities in the efforts to advance both one DEI on a track, one well-being on a track and then the intersection of the two, which I think is even more interesting because some of the challenges are obviously unique and differentiated that... Really interesting. CHRIS: You said earlier in the podcast, Lia, that the hardest job that you've had, and that a lot of this has to do with, is the fact that you are trying to get people to change, right, and evolve their thinking and ultimately act in appropriate and effective ways. What works here and how do you get people to not necessarily... Well, I would call it evolve their attitudes and actions as they think about what the right work culture is and what ultimately is the right thing to do. But also, advances kind of where the firm is as a business entity. LIA DORSEY: Yeah. That's such a great question. You can't do this work thinking that you will be able to get people to change, right. There's a great cartoon clip of someone addressing a crowd of people asking who wants to change and everyone raises their hand and then they ask, who wants to change and then all the hands go down, right. That graphic perfectly sums up what it's like doing this work. A lot of people are committed to DE&I and they care and they have good intentions, but not many folks are actively engaged and I said I would talk about the difference between the two. LIA DORSEY: I think right now you'd be hard pressed to find a leader who would actively come out and say that they aren't committed to DE&I, but it's more difficult to get them to actually engage in the work. It's hard to get folks to willingly use their influence and internal capital to help someone else, especially if that individual isn't like them. So they don't look like them and you're not part of my in group, but that said, if we won't change, we cannot sit on the sidelines, right. So I believe that in action or neutrality is complicity. Action is courage and courage is a habit. It's a muscle that you build over time. It's consistently committing to something, knowing that at times you may get it wrong or you may be uncomfortable. I mean, look, sometimes I still get it wrong and I do this for a living, but- BREE: Thank you for saying that, Lia, thank you for saying that. Oh, my gosh. LIA DORSEY: It's just, it's continually showing up and engaging and if you get it wrong, you get up and you continue to try again. So, we spent a lot of times educating our stakeholders and raising awareness around DE&I. What does it mean to really be an ally or an upstander? What do those terms mean, right. What does equity really look like in a law firm? How do you work across difference? How do you have courageous and meaningful conversations with others who are not like you, right. What is bias? How does it show up in your interaction with others? LIA DORSEY: So once you understand some of these issues, hopefully that'll lead to greater empathy and then hopefully that will lead to action. Just in closing, I'll say, so instead of focusing solely on changing minds, focus on changing your systems and changing your processes and changing your policies, because that's also where a lot of this bias breeds, which sometimes folks don't want to change their minds because they're set on something. As my friend, Michelle Silverthorne, she is a popular DE&I and culture consultant says, if you change the system, you'll change the world. So I spend a lot more of my time focusing on changing the systems and then the hearts and minds will follow. BREE: Absolutely. That's just absolutely brilliant. Yeah. I've always thought that if you get the right form in place, things will follow. You ask the right questions on the right forms- LIA DORSEY: Absolutely. BREE: ... And that starts to shift the culture. Yeah. Yeah. So important. So Lia, I'm wondering if you could tell us a little bit, we're going to take a break here in just a second, but you are just coming off as president of the association of law firm, diversity professionals, and I can really hear the polish of your message, which I'm sure that you honed over the time as president. What has that group been focusing on? What are you guys focusing on now? LIA DORSEY: Oh, absolutely. So, for those who may not know, ALFDP is an association of law firm professionals working in the DE&I space in the United States, Canada, and in the U.S. I'm sorry, UK. The association is around what, 16 years old at this point. As you mentioned, I served as president for two years. I served as VP before that. I'm technically still on the board and it is just an absolutely amazing organization just to be able to connect with people who are trying to solve the same problems, right, and achieve the same goals. So let's try to put our heads together and solve it together. But essentially we equip our members with the tools, tips, and talking points that they need to advance DE&I within their own firms and to help get the buy in and the resources that they need and resources is sometimes talent and then sometimes it's money. LIA DORSEY: Another great thing that we do is to collaborate with other DE&I focused organizations as well. Last year, we collaborated with Thompson Reuters and the ACC Foundation on a white paper called the Pandemic Nation: Understanding its impact on lawyers from underrepresented communities. It was a great white paper. I encourage your listeners to download it. It essentially was an in depth look at the impact of the pandemic on the careers and lawyers from underrepresented communities. What's great about that research even now is that it really points out the challenges and the opportunities of those historically excluded lawyers, which is really, really important. Particularly the opportunities part as all of us are slowly returning to the office. LIA DORSEY: There are things that organizations can keep in mind and I'm cleared about saying returning to the office and not returning to work because trust and believe for the past two years, we have been working hard, harder than we ever have. So I really want to remind people, we're talking about returning to the office, but ALFDP keeps on top of the primary issues that everybody is dealing with and then we try to find resources and give tips and tools to help solve some of those challenges. So great, great association and I'm so glad and honored to have been able to lead it. BREE: So, Lia, what is the web address for that in case our listeners are interested in checking it out? LIA DORSEY: Absolutely, www.alfdp.com. CHRIS: Lia, I have to imagine that, and this would be an encouraging sign that your membership has expanded significantly of late. Is that the case? LIA DORSEY: Oh, my gosh. Yes. CHRIS: Right. I mean that's a sign that, again, people are leaning in, that they're looking for a community that can provide national resources to be able to aid them. I mean, this is an organization that I wasn't aware of, but again, gives me cause for optimism that there are change agents that are coming together and sharing best practices that are ultimately going to advance our profession. LIA DORSEY: Absolutely. The membership grows every day and a lot of that is because a lot of these firms are creating a lot of DE&I roles and positions and sometimes they're elevating existing people. So the interest in DE&I overall, and in ALFDP, specifically, is just amazing. CHRIS: Awesome. Well, this is a great place... Let's take a quick break and hear from one of our sponsors and then we'll come back and I'm really excited to kind of start to talk about the intersection of DEI and well-being. So we'll be right back.   — Advertisement: Meet Vera, your firm's virtual ethics risk assessment guide. Developed by ALPS, Vera's purpose is to help you uncover risk management blind spots from client intake to calendaring, to cybersecurity and more. Vera: I require only your honest input to my short series of questions. I will offer you a summary of recommendations to provide course corrections if needed, and to keep your firm on the right path. Generous and discrete, Vera is a free and anonymous risk management guide from ALPS to help firms, like yours, be their best. Visit Vera at alpsinsurance.com/vera.   — CHRIS: All right, we are back with Lia Dorsey, chief diversity equity and inclusion officer at Ogletree Deakins. This is an area that I've been just very excited to delve into, because I know that our board at the Institute for Well-being in Law, you can't talk about well-being unless you're integrating and considering elements of diversity, equity and inclusion as well. Lia, I'd love just to hear more about in your experience, how do they intersect, right, and how do we think about them, I guess not as two tracks, but two tracks, obviously intertwined. LIA DORSEY: Yeah. Mental health and DE&I are definitely closely connected. I would say right now, mental health and wellness and burnout, are very common topics in the workplace today and I think it's great that we're starting to normalize conversations around those topics. Asking for help now is not seen as a weakness and people are having dialogues and they're willing to talk about their personal experiences and their struggles. When we talk about DE&I, diversity, equity and inclusion, there's also another letter that's joining that and that's the B for belonging and that's really the psychological safety that folks feel. Honestly, we weren't talking about these things before, but it is just so important that we're having these conversations now and the fact that all of us spend the majority of our time at work, prioritizing mental health in the workplace is really, really a must. LIA DORSEY: Many of us are managing work related stress and experiencing diminished mental health because of the pandemic and the racial injustice crisis. This is, it's taken a toll on people and more so for those from diverse backgrounds in communities. We talked about, since 2020, there's been a much needed spotlight on racial justice, but it's also highlighted the serious lack of dialogue, addressing specific mental health needs and challenges for those from underrepresented communities. I think just kind of navigating and adapting to those challenges is really important because there's a lot of stress that that community is experiencing because of what's going on and that stress can worsen and it can cause health problems, it can lead to increased mental health conditions and so much more. LIA DORSEY: On the diversity piece of it, folks from diverse backgrounds often face increased bias and microaggressions and other stressors that impact their mental health and that psychological safety. So I think for the intersection between the two, it's really important to focus on that sense of belonging, because it's critical for overall mental health and well-being, because the more we feel like we belong, the more we feel like we can be ourselves, right. BREE: Absolutely. LIA DORSEY: [inaudible 00:27:16] like we have that support, then we can cope effectively with the stress and the difficulties in our lives. So firms and companies really need to prioritize creating this type of culture that supports, not only just mental health and wellness, but that inclusion and that belonging piece as well. I think another way that they intersect, and it's a way that a lot of people don't think about often is when you think about benefits. So really, evaluate the benefits that you are offering at your company. Are they inclusive? Are your wellness benefits available to everyone, or just... And now that we're talking about possibly, returning back to the office, look at your flexible working policies. Who gets to continue to work a hybrid schedule, who's asked to come back into the office, and when you examine that, you'll see how that too impacts diversity. So as we're trying to all come up with these solutions around mental health and wellbeing, it's really important to keep some key DE&I concepts in mind, as well. BREE: Absolutely. I just love what you're saying there around inclusion and belonging. One of the things that I teach about when I talk is also the idea, and this is where I touch upon the intersectionality here, and I talk about the impact on mental health outcomes of what's called thwarted belongingness. I don't know if you've heard that phrase before, but it's also something that's been studied in a precursor or predictor or suicidality. I mean, it's really serious. I think about, I use the example of, if you can't think of anything else, remember what it's like to be a little kid and everybody's being chosen for the basketball team and you're the last one, that was my experience, [inaudible 00:29:04], and just how awful that feels. Can you try to touch into that and have some empathy or compassion? So, yeah. That's brilliant. LIA DORSEY: Absolutely. If I may, there's one thing when you just shared that story and I was the person who got picked last too, I don't have any [inaudible 00:29:19]. But it just made me think about this amazing quote and I'm sure a lot of folks have heard at this point, but it's by Bernie Myers, and it says, "Diversity is being invited to the party and inclusion is being asked to dance." It's that last part that is just so important, right, because it's not good enough just to be seen, right. It's also about being included, being involved, feeling that sense of belonging and so that made me think of that quote, as you just shared [inaudible 00:29:48]. BREE: Yeah, that's great. I'm afraid I also the person [inaudible 00:29:51] not being asked to dance, but anyway, that's another story. So Lia, I really want to dig to hear a little bit about a theme that has run through our conversations here, is about the role of leaders in the profession. Of course there are the CEOs of the big law firms, some of the ones that you have worked for. There's other leaders of the profession that I think really have a responsibility here are the judges and the state bar presidents, people that really are at the forefront of the profession. So what thoughts do you have about how we influence these leaders, that if you care about wellbeing, you have to care about diversity, equity, inclusion, and vice versa. How do you get them to pay attention and to take action to become, I think you were saying, it's not commitment, it's engagement. LIA DORSEY: Absolutely. Absolutely. Deloitte conducted a survey. I believe it was last year, which found that DE&I and employment health and well-being are top priorities for CEOs. I thought that was very, very telling, right. So leaders really need to prioritize their employees total well-being, and that includes their physical, mental, emotional health and it also includes work life balance. But in order to do that leaders must understand and address the unique challenges that their underrepresented employees face. We talked about this a little earlier, so that's the bias, the microaggression, it's the health disparities potentially, it's different mental health treatment and outcomes. Sadly I think that list goes on. So I think you can influence and encourage them, if you will, by just making sure that they understand that this is really important for every single employee, right, and some of the current support programs that they have in place, it's just not enough. LIA DORSEY: Firms have to really take a strategic and a holistic approach to mental health and wellness because there isn't one solution to the problem or silver bullet, but it's really a series of actions that they need to take. Then you need to tie this some kind of way to retention and culture, because we talked about this at the top, culture plays a big role in mental health, right it's about those safe spaces. It's about inclusion, because we know that inclusive workspace are more engaged and productive, but if you can really help your employees feel like they truly, truly belong, then you can help them achieve that greater sense of satisfaction in health and wellness and that can impact retention. LIA DORSEY: So just to kind of sum this up, leaders really need to prioritize their people and they need to create a workplace that fully supports every single employee, even the one from historically excluded groups and they must address those needs. If they want to create connected and inclusive workplaces, they have to address mental health because it's not an option to continue to ignore it. BREE: That's right. CHRIS: Yeah. Well, said. Let's look forward a decade and if we were to do a good job around evolving and changing attitudes and encouraging engagement and affecting hearts and minds, Lia, how will the legal profession be different? LIA DORSEY: Well, for starters, I hope the profession will be more diverse 10 years from now. It's a shame that after all these efforts and initiatives and research and data that the legal profession is still struggling with diversity. I want to see more of this diversity at the top as well. We all know that representation matters and I'd also like to see more accountability, right. How do we hold our leaders to account? I would love to see firms and I'm sure a lot of people are not going to like this, but I would love to see firms link the compensation to the advancement of DE&I, because our corporate partners are already doing this, right. I always say that diversity isn't black and white, it's green, because when you start talking about money, people listen. [inaudible 00:34:10]. So I would love to see that link because I think that will get us more change faster and sooner. BREE: Right. LIA DORSEY: So that's what I would say. CHRIS: Okay, and I'm just curious as we think about one thing, law schools obviously have a role here to play as a kind of a pathway into the profession. I'm just curious on your impressions on how they're doing relative to some of these challenges. Obviously, a lot of our work on the well-being front kind of starts with how folks come into the profession. I got to think that there's some direct corollaries there. LIA DORSEY: It is. One of the things that I've seen, which I think is great, is that our law schools are talking about DE&I earlier in the process or period, because it was a time when they weren't. So the fact that they're introducing and they're talking about these topics in law school, I think is great. Then we're also seeing a connection with some of the law school offerings and partnering with firms and other diversity associations that are out there, NCCA, the DFA and LCLD are three that come to mind. They're really just trying to make sure that particularly the diverse students are well prepared for a full enriched career in a law firm and really looking at how do we make sure that they know what to do and to make sure that they can ask the right questions and to find that mentor early and all of the things that come with that. So I'm really encouraged to see that type of partnering with some of the law schools and some of the other associations that are out there and with some law firms, as well CHRIS: As you said earlier, evolution here or progress I think has been slower than almost all of us believe could have been achieved. Are you optimistic about the future, and if so, what are some of the accelerator drivers that have you particularly excited for what's on the horizon? LIA DORSEY: Oh, Chris, I have to stay optimistic because if I don't, I'll go in my room, sit in the ball and cry. I just think it's really just my outlook. If I think about when I started in this field, not that long ago really, but when I started, we weren't even talking about some of the stuff that we're talking about even now and we were not as bold then as we are now. So, that definitely gives me hope. Some of the people that I see who are starting to do this work gives me hope. The fact that we're seeing managing partners and CEOs who are standing up and speaking up and actually putting that capital and using it to help advance it, all of that gives me hope. LIA DORSEY: I don't think that we will get there in my lifetime, but I am happy to be a person right now and a change agent who's really trying to plant the seeds that hopefully folks will continue to water. I tell people, this is a marathon. It didn't take us overnight to get into this and it's not going to take us overnight to get out of it. It's going to take some time, but I am very, very hopeful. CHRIS: Awesome. Well again, thank you so much for joining us. Whenever we can have a disruptor for good or a professional troublemaker on the podcast, we are all in and Lia, we certainly commend you for your longtime commitment, the impact that you're having, the willingness to serve and leadership structures and challenging the status quo, improving cultures, right. I mean, you are doing critical work, not just for your firm in particular, but well beyond in terms of improving this profession and the ability for this profession to ultimately serve the legal needs of the country, all of the legal needs of the country, right, not just certain legal needs of our country. So again, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. BREE: Thank you. Wonderful. Wonderful. LIA DORSEY: Thank you, Bree. Thank you, Chris. I have enjoyed my time immensely and I would be happy to come back if ever you would have me. This has been great and I love this so much. I can talk about this all day. I feel like our time just flew by. So thank you. Thank you again for having me. CHRIS: It certainly did and we will be back in a couple weeks with one final installment of kind of our series on the intersection of diversity, equity, inclusion, and well-being. Thanks to all of our friends out there for listening in and if you have ideas, continue to reach out to Bree or I for suggestions on future speakers. BREE: Absolutely. CHRIS: So everyone be well out there. Thank you. BREE: Take good care everyone. Bye-bye.  

The Passionistas Project Podcast
CinDiLo Inspires Women Over 50 to Embrace Midlife

The Passionistas Project Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 36:45


After 25 years in law and academia assisting women during life transitions, such as divorce and reentering the workforce, CinDiLo created her own second act of writing and workshops for fellow Generation X women seeking to live their midlife with purpose and clarity through whentheclockstrikesmidlife.com. She recently published the easy-to-use weekly journal "When the Clock Strikes Midlife, It's Your Time to Shine," to inspire women to cultivate their midlife awakening with its interactive guided prompts and witty yet truthful perspective. CinDiLo has also started a new movement: #myfirsttimeover50, where she encourages women over 50 to try a new activity and ask the question: When was the last time you did something for the first time? Learn more about CinDiLo. Learn more about The Passionistas Project. FULL TRANSCRIPT: Passionistas: Hi, and welcome to The Passionistas Project Podcast, where we talk with women who are following their passions to inspire you to do the same. We're Amy and Nancy Harrington. And today we're talking with CinDiLo. After 25 years in law and academia assisting women during life transitions, such as divorce and reentering the workforce, CinDi created her own second act of writing and workshops for fellow Generation X women seeking to live their midlife with purpose and clarity through whentheclockstrikesmidlife.com. She recently published the easy to use weekly journal "When the Clock Strikes Midlife, It's Your Time to Shine", to inspire women to cultivate their midlife awakening with its interactive guided prompts and witty yet truthful perspective. CinDi has also started a new movement: #myfirsttimeover50, where she encourages women over 50 to try a new activity and ask the question: when was the last time you did something for the first time? So please welcome to the show, CinDiLo. CinDi: Hello! Thank you for having me. Passionistas: Oh, we're really excited to have you on the show. We've been using our guide and we love it, so we wanted to talk to you about it and your journey. What we want to start with is, what's the one thing you're most passionate about? CinDi: I think overall it's growth. Not only growth myself, but others. Whether it's myself, my children, my loved ones, my friends, my BFFs on the internet, which I call my Cyber BFFs, and strangers. I always believe in growth and encouraging people to grow and learn about themselves in the world. Passionistas: Why is that so important to you? CinDi: Everything stems from childhood. Probably stagnant people around me, people that, you know, just don't have that mindset. They don't, you know, immediately you say, "here, try this..." "No!" You know, it's just an automatic shut down, shut themselves down and don't ever try anything. Passionistas: Let's take a step back. You mentioned your childhood. Tell us a little bit about your childhood and what it was like. CinDi: I was born with something called a TE fistula, which I like to mention the name because most people don't know about it, but people that do know about us saying, "oh." It's a birth defect where your esophagus isn't connected to your stomach. I was lucky in the fact that that was my only birth defect. Many babies are born with a lot more issues that are a lot more severe along with that. And I was repaired in the hospital for the first year of my life back in the 1960s. I won't tell you when in the 1960s. But I was in a bed. And they would put injections in my thighs because I would get pneumonia laying in a hospital bed. So they would treat that back then with penicillin shots or antibiotic shots in your muscles, which they don't do any more because it causes atrophy of the muscles. And so by the time I was a toddler, I pretty much couldn't bend either of my legs. And when I was four, I had my right leg operated on and I spent a whole summer in a cast. But I still had my left leg that didn't bend. Then I went through that way all through elementary school up until eighth grade. The summer between eighth grade and high school, I got my left leg opreated on. Again, spent the whole summer in a cast. But I did everything. My parents never told me that I couldn't do anything, even though I had so many issues. I think I was their third spirited child. And because of what I went through, they kind of let me do whatever I want, as long as it wasn't too dangerous. So I rode a bike. I ran in gym, you know, I never sat out of gym or anything like that. I played dodgeball and got whacked in the head like everyone else. So, you know, that didn't come without issues. You know, I was teased, especially in middle school. Some of the boys would tease me and were mean, but for the most part, I would say it wasn't on a regular basis and it was one or two boys. But in the meantime, again, it never deterred me from doing anything. I continued actually to go on, to be president of the school when I was in eighth grade. Passionistas: Do you feel like that still impacts... these experiences you had as a child still impact the person you are today? CinDi: Oh, of course. I think everything that happens to us now makes us who we are in this present moment. Yeah. I think it makes me more sympathetic and empathetic to a wide array of people. And maybe that is one of the reasons I'm more open-minded. And maybe that also is one of the reasons that I never let anything stop me and weren't really worried about what people think, because that seems to be a big thing with some people around. You know, just sometimes even the silliest things like, you know, make sure your hair is perfect for whatever it might be, make your bedroom, you know, like somebody is going to judge you if you don't make your bed that day. Passionistas: So what inspired you to get into law and academia? CinDi: I found myself, graduated high school, and I didn't have an idea in mind of what I wanted to do. I was the first person to go to college as far as my sisters and I. So long story short, I worked for a year in retail. I went to a seminar of a woman who did a little thing about being a paralegal and it really intrigued me. I went on to become a paralegal and get my degree, which back then, in the 1990s, mid nineties, nobody had... not that nobody had paralegal degree, but it wasn't needed really. You know, all you have to do is have some experience working in a law office and they'll throw you to the trenches and teach you what they want to teach you. So I did that. And then of course, me being me, by the year 2000, I created a website called njparalegal.com because, at the time, there was legislation going on in my state of what was going to happen with paralegals. Were we going to be licensed or not licensed? And many of us wanted and want to be licensed. It's still not licensed anywhere in any state in the United States, but it is more regulated. And education is more of a priority for employers now, which elevates the industry. Passionistas: And how did you come to focus kind of on women's issues and helping women through transitions? CinDi: That's another thing that in hindsight, I don't know if you ever got to a place and I think midlife might be this place where you kind of look back on all of the things you did and you start noticing a thread or a pattern. And one thing I even noticed, again, going back to childhood is I was a connector and a networker back then. I created clubs, when I was like eight years old. I had like a cat club. Then I told you I was president in eighth grade. That continued, you know, when I became a paralegal. I always have, whether it was school or work or even mommyhood, I've always gotten involved in groups of women. We still have a group of women... we're friends for 26 years. We were all new moms. We started with 10 moms and grew to 30 children. And we still try to get together once a year, even though we're in different states. Maybe it's from growing up with all, you know, all girls, but I always thrived in women's circles. Ironically, I have two sons, so I've learned a lot about living with all men. For some reason, that's something I've always been drawn to. And again, I noticed that pattern later in life. Passionistas: So you've told us that you had a midlife crash when you were around 45. So tell us what happened and what personal changes you made during that time period. CinDi: Like I said, I don't consider it a crisis. For whatever reason, I don't like the word crisis, but the word crash. Because it was just what I call again, that Jerry Maguire moment where I was just like, enough is enough. Something's gotta give. And I think I just named three movies all in... One in a row. I was just at a point in my life where my children were probably the most active they were and couldn't drive themselves yet anywhere. So they were at an active stage in school and probably at some point starting to work. And my mother had just passed, I believe. And soon after that, my father became ill. And on top of it, as luck would have it, I worked for a woman who was really worst employer I ever had. She was just, you know, a very difficult personality and everything just kind of... Oh, and by the way, at this time too, I decided to go back and complete my bachelor's degree because I never finished that back in my twenties. So anyhow, that was all going on. And it was just a really, really difficult moment. And... I apologize, my mom did not pass away yet. This was the crash. The crash was my mom was actually dying and I had to leave. And they all knew this, but in the meantime, I drafted an email telling them what I was working on, I had it covered. I covered all the bases and my boss's reply back was "I need it now." And she claims she didn't mean that for me, but whatever. It was just one of those aha moments where I was like, nothing is worth this. And I didn't quit my job that day, obviously. But soon after it, you know, once I got back into the swing of things, I eventually found a new job and, you know, and I never, knock on wood, I never worked for anybody like again. And I've been very fortunate since. And I've been trying to, uh, I guess, make better choices and just... you know, sometimes we're all just stuck in certain places that we didn't mean to be in, but we just got there. So that was, it was just a terrible, terrible time. It was really difficult. And when I look back the entire time from when my mom was sick, until then she passed and my dad was sick and then he passed. That was a decade. And that was hard. I mean, it was, again, my sisters and I still talk about that and it's, again, one of those things where you turn around, and you're like, "I have no idea how I did that. I have no idea how I got through it, how I still took care of everyone." So that's the other thing. I realized I'm taking care of everyone and not taking care of myself, which I think women do in general. And I also think at this point in life, you get to the stage where I can't do this anymore. You know, I took care of everyone all this time. So it was just all around. One of those aha moments I needed. Something needed to change and it had to start with me because everybody else is just continuing to do what they did and I allowed it. You know, so everybody else had to kind of step up and realize what I was doing and they did. But you know, sometimes everybody needs an adjustment, including you. Passionistas: So what adjustments did you make besides getting a new job and how do you today take care of yourself? CinDi: I had to have a serious conversation with my husband, who's great and helps a lot and does a lot. But again, it was a really busy time and he is also a glutton for punishment, like me. And he always did coaching. And he couldn't just coach. He had to be like president of the football team... of the football organization. So we're both like that, which can be commendable, but it's typical. And you know, I also always wanted to be involved in my child's education and the community and the school things. And, you know, it was hard. I tried my best and that's all we can do. So my husband got on board. You know, my kids were pretty good again as well, but I had to just remind them of everything I was doing and everything. And, you know, when you can, you need to try to help yourself or call dad. And it got to the point, before my dad passed, the last two years especially, where my sisters and I all were just running ragged. And we tried to balance that out as well, too, especially with one sister out of state. It's communication with yourself and everybody else in your life of what you need. And sometimes you don't even know what you need and that evolves too. But the biggest thing at that moment was really, I think, making everybody aware of what's going on. Because I don't think they see it and nor maybe do I see it either. You know, we're sometimes consumed in our own lives and everything we have to do when we don't know what somebody else is doing or going through internally or all the things that they juggle on a day. So now the way I care for myself is easier. So we moved after my youngest son went to college. We were in the Northeast and my youngest son went to college that came down to South Carolina and we knew we were eventually coming down here. So he knew the area. And I think even though initially he was far from home, he felt comfortable because he knew the area already. And also knowing we would eventually be down here. So lo and behold, after the real estate market opened up, finally, we got down here about a year later than we expected, but that's fine. I think everything happens for a reason. And here we are. So we are 600 miles south. And so that has afforded me to live a little bit of an easier life, as far as I don't have to work full time. I do have a part-time job that I really enjoy. Ironically, pretty much all of us in the office have New Jersey roots, so that was fortunate there as far as, you know, feeling comfortable and feeling at home. I will also confess I'm not a morning person. So I picked my hours, which are 12 to 5. So, you know, I still get up in the morning. I have a puppy now. Well, she's not a puppy anymore, but I have a dog and we go to the beach and take walks in the morning or we go for coffee and she's my little buddy. And I'm just that type of person: I need at least an hour where nobody talks to me in the morning. Honestly, it might sound silly, but that makes me a much happier person and not that rushing, rushing, rushing. And you know, in between mornings and nights and weekends, I fill in with my blog and my book and my... all the other things that I do. That to me is still a --luckily-- a passion of mine. So I don't look at that as working. I enjoy doing it. You know, some people don't get that. They're like, "oh, you're working on your blog again." Or, "oh, it's Saturday." I don't look at it that way. I look forward to doing it, believe it or not. So my life has really improved where I was able to create more of what I love in my life. And then sharing that and encouraging other women to do that was really important to me because it's true. I feel like I needed, and a lot of other women need, basically a free pass to tell them that they can do what they want or that they can create the life that they want. And granted it's much easier for some than others, but to a certain extent, we need to try to do that for ourselves, even if it's just feeling a little bit of time here and there. Oh, I forgot. The biggest thing I went back to and what I changed in my life was I went back to writing. I went back to my first love and I never realized what an outlet that was for me, because I stopped my personal writing. I still did some writing as a paralegal and also on my paralegal blog, but that was more technical and industry related and it wasn't personal writing. So that is really what I think got me out of my midlife crash slump at the time. It was definitely one of the things that really, really helped me. And again, going back to things I loved as a child. Passionistas: We're Amy and Nancy Harrington, and you're listening to The Passionistas Project Podcast and our interview with CinDiLo. To read her blog, find out about her workshops for Gen X women and get a copy of the weekly journal "When the Clock Strikes Midlife, It's Your Time to Shine", visit whentheclockstrikesmidlife.com. And follow CinDi on Instagram @whentheclockstrikesmidlife to share your hashtag #forthefirsttimeover50 adventures. If you're enjoying this interview and would like to help us to continue creating inspiring content, please consider becoming a patron by visiting thepassionistasproject.com/podcast and clicking on the patron button. Even $5 a month can help us continue our mission of inspiring women to follow their passions. Now here's more of our interview with CinDi. Let's talk about you going out and sharing this with other women. You started The Midlife on Purpose planner. So tell us what that is and why you created it. CinDi: Okay. Yeah. So again, it's a tool to encourage women to do different things, to think outside the box, and actually even plan what you're going to do. I'm not saying that you need to plan every moment of your life, but sometimes, and I'm still a perfect example of this, I forget to have fun and to plan things that I've been meaning to do for the past three years. You know, I live here and there was, of course you have so many things you're going to do when you do something new. And I've done some, but there are still, you know, some things that aren't even, you know, far away. Or I just say, oh, I'm going to do a day trip here, or I'm going to go to the zoo or a museum and, you know, some things I still haven't gotten to. And that's okay, but it's just a little bit of encouragement. And then I found that women really loved it during 2020, as you can imagine. And then we all had to, and I tried to get a little bit more creative in the calendar because okay, now we have to rethink things a little bit. And even though most of the time, the things I suggest are a lot of outdoors-y things, which hopefully a lot of us were able to do during 2020. Since we couldn't do much of anything else, you're either indoors or outdoors. But I tried to get a little bit more creative with doing things or suggesting, you know, a zoom party or... you know, we were all trying new things back then. Which was actually great in certain ways. We really had to rethink a lot of things. And I also think that was a halt for the universe well, the planet, I should say for all of us to step back. Again, and I know this has been said before, about what's really important. Creating the life that we want, many people are finding working from home is a much better quality of life. My sister had that one hour commute each way in New Jersey traffic. And I know California is the same way and they're really enjoying working from home and have a better quality of life. So I think that's something we all need to rethink as, as a planet. Passionistas: So tell us about whentheclockstrikesmidlife.com and what inspired you to start that? CinDi: So I was turning 50 in 2018 and I just, I don't know, I'm always sort of researching and even on social media, certain things catch my eye. And I noticed this woman wrote, I think she eventually wrote a book about it, but she did 50 things for turning 50. So that got my wheels turning, and I didn't necessarily want to do that, but I also, again, went back to something from my childhood, which is, "my name is Cindy, not Cynthia." But I have a cousin and sometimes my sisters would call me Cinderella or CinDi-lla. So I started jotting-- I still have my notes somewhere-- "Cinderella Turns 50." And I was trying to think, and I'm not really a Disney princess person, but first I just want to parlay it into something like that. And then I don't even know how my brain works. I was trying to think of themes for Cinderella. And then "When the Clock Strikes Midlife" just came to my brain, and of course the first thing I did was Google it and see if anybody had it and all that. So that got me going and that got me excited. I knew I wanted to start a blog. So that's kind of why I was brainstorming. And I had the name and I had already jotted some things down. The first thing I wrote about was my mid-life crash because I wanted to talk about that. And I knew I couldn't have been the only one that felt that way at that age. A lot of people don't think of 50 as midlife or middle aged, but I think we do as Generation X or it's, I think, more of a stage than anything. So if your children are leaving the nest, when you're 42 or they're leaving when you're 62, that's one of the times you, I think, feel that. As well as a lot of other life changes, you know, losing your parents or going through a relationship change or career change, whatever it might be. We get to that point somewhere between 40 and 60, where we have to make a shift, or we feel like whether we wanted the shift or not, something happened to kind of make that change. And I think that it's amazing that I feel that our generation is really changing the changes. Not only all the women we see at the political arena and celebrities and the corporate arena, authors and you two wonderful women, you know, in entertainment and everything. I mean, you name it. We really are shining these past few years and I think that's only going to become more, I know that women entrepreneurs are starting more businesses than any other group combined over the past two years. So I just feel that it's just a thing. And somehow I feel sort of the proudest altogether, but it's almost like build it and they will come. And I feel like that happened with our generation and this point in our life because a few years ago I had somebody tell me, also another entrepreneurial woman, but in a completely different industry. And she was like, first of all, I don't like the name midlife. Second, I don't see that many midlife women doing anything. And I'm like, "well, where have you been?" You know, I don't know what you do. But perhaps, because that is my quote unquote industry or my genre or my arena, I feel like we're everywhere and, and we're doing it. We are changing careers. We are excelling our careers. We are starting new adventures, getting degrees, going back to school, you name it, you know, more and more of us are doing it. I'm not saying it hasn't been done in the past, but I feel like there's definitely a larger percentage of us doing it and really, you know, not making any excuses and leaning on each other and getting encouragement from each other. Even if you don't necessarily know someone, you would just be inspired by someone who has done something and you think, "Hey, I can do that." Or "That's really cool." You know? Passionistas: So what do you help women take away from reading your blog? CinDi: Well, first and foremost, that they're not alone. And some of the thoughts that they have had, or the things that they have gone through, you know, other people have gone through. Well, at least I know I've gone through. And again, little bits of encouragement. That's how I started with my quotes. In my blog, I would always input little pieces of encouragement, which actually many I pulled out of my old writings from when I was young. They're not alone, encouragement ,and just finding ways to create a life that you want, even though, you know, nobody's life is ever going to be ideal. But if you can imagine certain things in your life that really bring you joy, doesn't have to be a lot of things. It doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to take a lot of time, but whatever they are, it really, really fulfills you. And it makes such a difference in your life and bringing some of your joy, fulfillment and power back. Passionistas: So tell us a bit about the workshops that you do with Gen X women. CinDi: Okay, well, thanks to 2020, I haven't done one in a while. Actually, right before COVID I did a vision board workshop, in-person and then I did a virtual one. So yeah. So one of the things that I do is a vision board workshop, and I've always loved vision boards. When I first learned about them, probably close to 10 years ago, and again, this was all part of my midlife awakening and learning new things and doing things to grow. And at the time I was going to yoga, which I'm limited with my physical abilities, but I always just do what I can. And I still love yoga more for the relaxation part of it. So, they were having a vision board, you know, class one day. And I went to the vision board class and I fell in love with that. And I've been doing them ever since. The other thing that I really loved and I haven't done a course on yet, but I'm working on a few things is... For the beginning of the year, I love Word of the Year. And I've been doing that since 2018, as well, when I started my blog and I really, really loved that idea. I haven't done, as I said, any workshops in a few years, and I do want to get back into that. And there are a few things I'm thinking of and need to work on that and hone in on topics. I want to take survey topics. And the few surveys I have done, the number one topic women our age always want is stress busters. Their biggest thing is stress. So that is something that I definitely would like to work on, but I need to structure. When I first moved here, it was almost like a honeymoon, you know. Neither one of us worked or did anything for six weeks. And we were still an empty nest at that point before the 2020 hit and we had one back in the nest. So, you know, we first moved down here... you know, I just felt so free and relaxed. You know, we were going to the beach, going out to dinner and it was lovely. And now that, you know, life happens again and you just start getting involved in life again. And just recently, I was like, okay, we're here two and a half years, I think I need a vacation. So somehow it creeps back in, but you have to try to do the best you can to manage it. But I also think it's part of living life. For most women like us, I think that we are blessed to be busy and stress with things, for the most part, that we're creating. And we are hopefully enjoying and doing work that we love and with people that we love. So, it's a catch 22. And you know how sometimes they say change your language. You know, don't say I have to go to work, I get to go to work. So a lot of that is mindset as well. Passionistas: So while we're on the subject of stress, tell us about your Facebook group Let's Distress, Gen X. CinDi: Funny that you said that because just a few days ago, I actually closed that group, but I'm doing everything on the main page now. Because I was trying to post them to many places, as you can imagine. It was just, I was trying to do social media, and there wasn't actually that much interaction. So I decided to just put it on the main page. Which I knew that at least there was some interaction there and I had the decent amount of followers involved. So yeah. So what I'm working on in 2020, as far as the mission of whentheclockstrikesmidlife.com and its platform is midlife, wellness, mind, body, and soul. So every day during the week, I try to post something, it might be a blog, or it just might be, you know, an inspirational quote or a product or a book, um, something that is going to help us. Mind, body or soul, it's going to nourish you in one way or the other and hopefully get some value out of it. I know if I recommend certain things like a book or, um, even something as silly as a water bottle sometimes. I'm not saying I'm becoming the new Oprah, but, you know, I do feel that people respond to that. And once they get to know you and like you and your work, they are more responsive to that. So I enjoy doing that. Again, I've always been a connector. And I found too, you know, my friends are that way with me. I, you know, I think for whatever reason, people believe what I say or they appreciate my point of view, I guess. So. Yeah. So that's a work in progress, but that's what I'm focusing on for 2022. And you know how it is. You're always pivoting and figuring out what works, and on top of that, what you're enjoying doing. Sometimes you try something and it's not working, or you're not really enjoying it. So you have to pivot the other way. Passionistas: So what inspired you to pivot and write your weekly journal When the Clock Strikes Midlife, It's Your Time to Shine? CinDi: Over time, you know, more recently, of course, some of my friends were like, "when are you going to put these quotes in a book?" So what I started to do was... Actually before I even started the blog, and you two know this because I did The Passionistas Summit and did a recording, but I've always been secretive about my work. So I didn't write for 25 years. And then when I did, I was still wanting to be secretive about it. So the way I encouraged myself to do it was I went back to my writings from 20, 25 years ago, some of them even longer. I wrote some short stories and things, or even poems. And some of the things I just, I thought to myself, well, I'm not going to write a book or a novel today. So let me just take some of these lines and make them into quotes because I think some of them are cute and they're good. And they're inspiring. And again, I was starting to think along the lines of eventually starting a blog. So what I did was I took some of the quotes and I took some of my nature photos. And I put an app on my phone and I took the quotes and I put them on the photo and I created what they call quota-graphs, which I did not create that word, but it is a word. And that's how I started. And I started posting them on my personal Facebook page and, you know, friends and family were like, "oh my God, you wrote this," you know, and that kind of thing. So that gives you a little bit of encouragement. And then eventually, within that year, less than a year by November, I started the blog, but that was kind of how I came out to my writing career and decided to share it. Then when I started the blog, I started putting these little quotes, original quotes, in my blog that had to do with whatever my blog post was about at that time. And people seem to really appreciate them. And I also use the quotes on social media to promote the blog post and things like that. So people got to really like them. And 2020 was really, of course, one of the years where I was like, okay. And as many of us have said, the universe all gave us a stop sign and it's like, okay, are you going to do this now? Or when are you going to do this? So I decided to try to figure it out. And I put it all together. I hired someone through Fiverr to format it and put all the information together. I sent it to her. After a few back and forths in editing, we had a format. The other thing is I used to meet friends through my children. Now I meet them through my dog. So I made a friend at the dog park. And we were talking one day and I was telling her that I was putting... actually, I think she showed me. And it's just funny how sometimes you don't know people that well. And we started talking and I think she must've told me or showed me something that she drew. And I was like, wow. I said, I need a cover. I'm writing a journal. And all I said was, I like the work, the art of Henri Matisse, a French artist from probably close to 100 years ago. And you know, one of my quotes that is somewhat famous that people really like is, "Be a starfish and find a way to regrow." And that's kind of like my motto, again, through growth, and for my life and midlife is always try to grow no matter what life throws at you. So she didn't say anything. And about a week later, she showed me the cover that you're looking at, that you have now, just the way it is, except for I had her add by CinDiLo at the bottom. I'm like, oh, my God. She's like, "well, I don't know if you'll like it." So I absolutely loved it. And she's the one actually who suggested the black background, which I wasn't sure about at first, because you read all these things on the internet, like no black books or no white books. And anyway, long story short, it was a hit. People really love it. And I really love it, for the most part. It really... you know, if you notice her hair is actually ocean waves and she has a starfish earring on. And, you know, but simple and we just have the little gold bling just to schnazz it up a little bit. It was just one of those things. And I love when that happens, you know, serendipity and something just came together. And we've actually become good friends since then. And she was there for launch and I just loved the way it just seemed to all come together. Even though there was a lot of frustrations with formatting and you know how that stuff goes. It's sometimes more frustrating than you think. And then getting it on Amazon is another challenge, but it all got done. It all got done by November of 2021. Then I was able to launch it on 11/11. So yeah. So there we are. So I'm really happy with that. And the feedback that I'm getting is, you know, they really love it. As you've mentioned before, too, is, whether it's the 30 seconds or the 30 minutes, I kind of give you quick prompts. And you can do with it what you like without it being too daunting, because I know some people think," oh my God, I don't have time to color and write and all this stuff." So people make it what they want. Passionistas: So is there one particular lesson that you've learned along your journey that really sticks with you? CinDi: The word that's coming to me is flexibility. But that word, sometimes it has a negative connotation, and I don't mean it in that way. And I think it's served me well. And I think because of what I've been through in my childhood, and I think also being the third child, I just learned that. And while I think it may at times, and when I was younger, I used to think that that was not a good trait to have. I think now that I'm older, it's my sanity. Because as you know, when we talk... go back to talking about stress, a lot of stress, and I do this to myself, you know. As I say, a lot of stress, all stress is really in our minds, and we are always thinking about it or getting anxious about the stress. So flexibility, especially at this stage is allowing me to say, "okay, this didn't work this way, so we're going to go this way." Or I'm really feeling now that things happen for a reason and that life will guide. You know, you can't control everything. So life will guide you. If you have some faith, be flexible. Passionistas: Thanks for listening to The Passionistas Project Podcast and our interview with CinDiLo. To read her blog, find out about her workshops for Gen X women and get a copy of the weekly journal "When the Clock Strikes Midlife, It's Your Time to Shine," visit whentheclockstrikesmidlife.com, and follow her on Instagram @whentheclockstrikesmidlife to share your #myfirsttimeover50 adventure. Please visit thepassionistasproject.com to learn more about our podcast and subscription box filled with products made by women owned businesses and female artisans to inspire you to follow your passions. Get a free mystery box with a one-year subscription using the code SUMMERGOODIES. And be sure to subscribe to The Passionistas Project Podcast, so you don't miss any of our upcoming, inspiring guests. Until next time, stay well and stay passionate.  

Transforming Truth (audio)
The Rescued Life

Transforming Truth (audio)

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 28:28


Everyone gets in trouble. Honestly, we are born into trouble the moment we take our first breath. The book of Job says that “man's days are filled with trouble.” Because of this inescapable reality, we often find ourselves in need of rescue. And God is a specialist in countless types of rescues! This message takes the testimony of King David in a season of his own gut wrenching pain and tribulation. How he prays, trusts and waits helps us know how to anticipate the rescue of God to find us when we are in over our head. Don't waste your time of trouble - respond like David and watch God begin to move on your behalf.

Wabi Sabi Series
PARENT GUILT with Kate Toon

Wabi Sabi Series

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 24:45


If there was one thing you think society should talk more about, what would it be?“The pressure that we put ourselves under these days to be the ‘perfect parent'. It's unsustainable.”___________________ Kate Toon is a down to earth human on a mission: to demystify the realities of running a successful online business.  She's an award-winning digital marketing entrepreneur. A Google Beast tamer - as it were, and one straight-talking copywriting coach. Kate is a popular educator, very engaging speaker - which is how we met and she's the author of several books. Kate is funny, and brings energy to everything she does. She's a proud business misfit, a mad-good hula hooper and a slightly-wonky rollerskater. But don't let those quirky traits fool you - Kate is one savvy business woman. Her StayTooned group of companies include the Digital Masterchefs, The Clever Copywriting School, and The Recipe for SEO Success. Through these, Kate's helped more than 10,000 other businesses demystify digital marketing, grapple the Google Beast, and grow their overall success.  Kate is a renowned speaker, podcaster and author, and was named Businesswoman of the Year and Training & Education Provider of the Year at the national My Business Awards. She also runs Australia's only dedicated annual copywriting conference, CopyCon. And all this from the Toon Cave in her backyard, accompanied only by her very own CFO (Chief Furry OfficeDog) Pomplemousse and assisted remotely by a team of talented sub-contractors. “Honestly, I've never felt like I fit into the conventional picture of a successful businesswoman. I'm a little bit scruffy, sarcastic and I've never written a business plan. But my misfit approach to business has served me well, and I love helping other humans create success on their own terms.”  - KATE TOON She's my kinda gal. Please enjoy this wonderfully enlightening conversation with the fabulous Kate Toon.  For more information about Kate, check out these places;-Instagram: @katetoonLinkedin:au.linkedin.com/in/katetoonTwitter:  @KateToonWebsite: https://www.katetoon.com/Head to michellejcox.com for more information about the ONE QUESTION podcast, your host or today's guestsConnect with Michelle on Instagram here:- @michellejcoxConnect with Michelle on Facebook here - @michellejcoxAND, if you have a burning topic you'd love society to talk more about, or know someone who'd be great to come on the One Question podcast, drop me a line at hello@michellejcox.com

I Survived Theatre School
It's Time to Accept that I Will Always Look a Little Like Dora the Explorer

I Survived Theatre School

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 35:08


Intro: David Schwimmer, Zazie Beetz, Grace Gummer, and Joe Sikora teach us about sexual harassment, Let Me Run This By You: I think a ghost is peeing in my basement. Fulling mills, alcoholics, Johnny Depp, Britney Spears.FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited):2 (10s):And I'm Gina Pulice.1 (11s):We went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand it.2 (15s):20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all.1 (21s):We survived theater school and you will too. Are we famous yet?2 (39s):Hello? Hello. Hello survivors. This is Gina reporting to you on a beautiful spring day. I hope it is a beautiful spring day wherever you are, or if it's not, I hope it will be very soon. We are guests lists in this episode today, as I reported to a couple of weeks ago should happens. We had recorded a great episode with a lovely person and just their audio didn't record at all. You know, just one of those things like internet gremlins, bloody body boss. So we're going to re up with him at some point, but we do have coming down the pike, a few really great episodes, including Glen Davis, the director of Steppenwolf theater company and Trammel Tillman, the actor who plays Mr.2 (1m 28s):Mel chick and severance. And if you listen to this podcast, do you know how much I love severance? I'm really, really excited about that one also Sumia Taka Shima. So we've got some really fantastic interviews lined up. I hope you will be tuning in and the upcoming weeks. And just another note to say, thank you so much for your ongoing support and listenership. We really love doing this podcast. Love making it for you. So we love that you enjoy listening to it. And if you haven't already, you should check out our website, undeniable writers.com and our social media.2 (2m 14s):We're on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Do you think we should get off of Facebook? Well, do you think we should get on Facebook? Do you think we should get off Twitter? See, I really want to make the great break. I want to get away from social media, but I feel I'm trapped now. You know, because professionally and personally, it's a great way to connect with a lot of people that I otherwise wouldn't be able to connect with, but it's, it's just this equal parts, terrible and wonderful creation, and we're all completely addicted to it. So, you know, who knows what's who knows how this is gonna work out for us?2 (2m 55s):Honestly, it could go either way. We could figure out a way to manage this problem and get on top of it and figure out a way to have enjoyment, but not addiction to social media. Or we could all find ourselves waking up in the middle of a Handmaid's tale. I mean, we are kind of headed that way. It's really looking like people want us to live in Gilliad. And for whatever reason, I just don't feel like people who don't want to live in Gilliad are good at making it so that we don't live in Gilead, myself included. What am I doing? I'm donating money.2 (3m 36s):I mean, fat, lot of good. That really does so, wow. This is taking a bad turn. I don't mean for it to do that. I really want to express my love and appreciation for you all and my excitement about our upcoming episodes and my wish that you connect with us on social media, that's killing us all. And I hope you enjoy today's episode, which we are entitling. I'm going to have to accept that. I will always look like Dora the Explorer at some point, please enjoy Hey, sexual harassment training.2 (4m 41s):So in order for my son to get his work permit, you know, through, you have to go through this training and it said it would take an hour. And I was thinking like, is that really gonna take an hour? It's like one full hour because it's one of these, did you ever have to do it? Yeah. You can't go to the next slide until1 (5m 2s):No, no. They make sure your ass is there for an hour. Gina.2 (5m 6s):That's right. And you know, I do have to say it is something I really miss about California. People complain about the bureaucracy and the, you know, and in this training, you know, it's infantilizing in certain ways. But like, if you have to make things accessible to all people and it's like, if it's infantilizing to you or you already know it, consider yourself lucky. Well also about the people that don't already know, it like1 (5m 37s):Gina, the, the majority of our world, especially those who harass people are in like infants who need hand-holding. So we need to infantilize them because they're fucking infants and they need this shit from the ground. Like, dude, I love it. Like, I love the fact that they won't, that they won't like fast-forward until you wash them. Because you know, these motherfuckers, the people who really need to watch it would fast forward through the whole thing and think they don't need it.2 (6m 9s):Yeah. I mean, maybe we actually need to be infantilizing. I am often accused of, You know, expecting too much from people, you know, like I just, the number of times somebody says to me, yeah. But I just don't think most people will understand that or, you know, think about it that way. Anyway, I completed it. And it was so the one you saw did it have like David Schwimmer and Zazie Beetz and Gracie Gummer I guess that was so sweet. And Joseph Cora,1 (6m 48s):Cora Joseph. I actually watched it with miles when miles, my husband had to do it for his new job. And I was like, I know all the And they must pay so much. I mean, like I either they're doing it for free or,2 (7m 4s):Oh, I assume they were doing it for free. I assumed it was like, we're doing this well. Cause it was through rain, rain made the videos. So I would assume that1 (7m 13s):People2 (7m 14s):Aren't asking rain to pay them1 (7m 16s):Like a million dollar2 (7m 18s):Scale or whatever.1 (7m 21s):No, my fee is actually 1.3 million for this sexual harassment for2 (7m 27s):Video, the second video1 (7m 28s):And tire rape video. Yeah. You're going to pay me anyway.2 (7m 33s):Hey, how are you? I love your crushed blue velvet.1 (7m 37s):Thank you. I, yeah, my, my standard thing now is like, I literally have like 10 meetings a day, which is hilarious. So a lot of it is my students getting ready to launch. So a lot of it is really motivated and highly stressed, 22 year olds that are like, ha who? And I love it. And I love meeting with them and they also are, you know, just exactly where we were the same thing of like, and in fact, a lot of them, yeah. They're ahead of where we were, because at least they know there's a fucking problem,2 (8m 18s):Right? Yeah. There, they don't necessarily have their head all the way up inside of the crevice of their ass. Like I did. Exactly. Well. That's cool. Yeah.1 (8m 29s):So I'm doing that. And like, I don't know. There was something I thought if you, I feel like I haven't talked to you in so long.2 (8m 36s):I agree. Well, I think it's because you have so many meetings. You're busy all day long. Thank goodness you have your new fancy office. How's it working?1 (8m 44s):I do. It's working great. We haven't, I'm in the focus room now because we don't have our rug yet. And our rug will mask all the sound. And also, yeah, I didn't to be in a booth. So we have these tall booths that are, are for doing this kind of thing, but the seat I'm old and the chair is not that comfortable. So I'm in the focus from, there's also a pumping room Moms. I don't go in that room, but there's a refrigerator in there. Like you can put your breast milk.2 (9m 14s):A cool,1 (9m 14s):Hilarious.2 (9m 16s):I pumped in so many disgusting places pumped at Yankee stadium. Yes. Like in the women's bathroom, take me out to the ball game or something like that. I've pumped in many bathrooms. I've pumped in while driving I've driving. Yes. It's, it's hard to be a woman. Did I tell you about Jesse Klein's book?1 (9m 45s):No.2 (9m 46s):Wait, Jesse Klein is a writer and she, she wrote her second book. First one was called. You'll grow out of it. And the second one, this one is called, I'll see myself out. She was the sh writer for inside Amy Schumer. She's now the show runner for, I love that for you, which I want to watch.1 (10m 5s):Yeah. I did not read the books and you love the first one, right? Or2 (10m 9s):I love the first one and I love the second one. The second one. She just, I mean, the thing about, cause she, she just really states a very, very, very true truth, which is that what certain women who are mothers just don't see a lot of like their experience of motherhood reflected in, in, Out there. Right. When I was pregnant with my first child, I read a book called the girlfriend's guide to having a baby. I picked this, it talked about infantilizing and finalizing only named book title, you know, from the other options because the other ones seemed, if you can believe even cornea or even worse in my lasting impression.2 (11m 1s):I mean, there was not that it was all terrible. I read that and I read a Jenny McCarthy book.1 (11m 5s):I was going to say, did you read the Jenny? That was your option.2 (11m 9s):That was my options. And my lasting impression of the girlfriend's guide book was like, it was a lot about how you were going to lose the weight after the baby. And her thing was like, this was her advice at the beginning of the week, make an enormous vegetable stew. And every time you're hungry, grab yourself a cup of this tasteless flavorless calorie list.1 (11m 40s):Oh my2 (11m 41s):God. And my ass, I did try to do it. I tried for like, cause I came home and I was like, oh, I still am six months pregnant. It looks like. So I, at that time, in my life, it was very concerned about getting back to my pre-baby weight, which never happens for most of us. And, and I basically, while I was nursing, I basically starved myself on this vegetable route. And all of this is to say, Jesse Klein says the unsayable. She speaks the taboos of like, listen, sometimes you regret being a mom. There are days where you're like, it wasn't worth it the other days where you say it was, but you're not allowed to ever feel like what gets reflected back to us as like, you know, you're so lucky.2 (12m 29s):It's a sh it's a miracle you should just forever be grateful for.1 (12m 34s):Well, the other thing that I'm noticing is, and you know, it's apropos mother's day just happened. Right? So I'm also noticing that there are, there's another school of people that are saying that our childless women are childless people, but mostly childless women that I know that are like, well, they did it to themselves. So like, I don't feel bad for them. And I don't have that feeling. I don't have kids, but I, I definitely feel like it is a choice for most people to have a kid. And I mean, if our government has its way, it will be a choice. Right. It'll be just your forest, but most people have a choice. And so, but just because you make a choice, this is my other thing.1 (13m 15s):And it's the same with like, people that, you know, talk about like people choosing to do drugs and choosing just because someone makes a choice does not mean that they are, they, they should deserve to suffer in some horrible way. If they're not happy with the choice or they've made a choice that on some days they feel like it wasn't the right choice. So I feel like to say like, oh, F mothers breeders and all that stuff. That is also for me not okay, because what it is saying is that right? Like, because you made this choice at a given point in your life, you now are like deserve any bad thing that comes from that choice.1 (13m 54s):And I don't believe, I feel three the best they can every day, whether it's a kid or whatever to get through. And so I think that's the backlash of, you know, the opposite of, of the childless movement, which is like people who choose to have children are somehow also for, I don't know.2 (14m 14s):Yeah. Well, we're all assholes. This is the point1 (14m 18s):Your essay was asshole. Just like us. So2 (14m 21s):That's like us, they are us. We are the assholes, all, every single one of us. So yeah. I, I mean, I totally understand. I see all sides of that argument. I see. I can understand why women who don't have want to have children feel, I understand why they are. They feel angry because they are made to feel like there's something wrong with them by multiple people, including therapists. And as you experienced seemingly benign comments that people think just being, I mean, do you get, do you get a lot of flack about not having kids? No.1 (14m 56s):I think I would, if my parents were alive, so I'm kind of glad they're dead on that way. And then also, because, because it would, my mom, well, the thing is that my mom, when I was taking care of her, the funny story is that she was pressuring me to have kids with miles and we had just gotten married and she was dying and it was not the right time clearly. And then towards the end, after when she was really dying, dying, and I was taking care of her and I was like, I would like boss her around because she wouldn't do what I said. I was like, mom, you cannot do this. You can not do that. Like I was so worried about her that I became a giant pain in the ass and she was like, maybe it's better. You don't have kids2 (15m 51s):For the last two years since we got actually, before we got Wallace, the dog, we had Millie the rabbit.1 (15m 59s):I2 (16m 1s):Was a sad APOC with Millie of the rabbit. My son wanted a rabbit. I said, no, my husband bought it when I was out of town. And I knew, yeah, I know I went out of town.1 (16m 16s):Well, it didn't, you do get a dog in Oakland when, when Aaron was out of town and you,2 (16m 21s):He wasn't out of town. I was just like on a walk with my friend that I came home with a dog. Yes.1 (16m 25s):And he said, and he said, something happened. And he said, did you meet bill Cosby? Yeah.2 (16m 29s):And she thought, I said, you have to come home because there's somebody I want you to meet. And all he could imagine it was that it was bill cost. Right? Yeah. Got it. Yeah. He would have been worried. So yeah. So when my son had Millie the rabbit, you know, he was learning what it means to take care of another creature. And he wasn't always that excited to take care of her. And one of the things that he did was let her free roam around certain places, which was against the rules. And one of the places that she free roamed was in our basement, which meant that she peed and pooped.2 (17m 9s):And we're, you know, years later we're still finding a little thing. Anyway, this meant that when we got Wallace, the dog and he went into the basement, he immediately peed off1 (17m 20s):All the things.2 (17m 21s):Correct. And so we stopped letting him go into the basement. I bought a case of this urine foam deodorizer shit. Cause we had rugs down there. That's in work. We threw the rugs away. We got carpet tiles. The idea like if it happens in one place we can clean or, or get rid of this one tile when I have to replace a whole rug. And that dog has not to, my knowledge has not been in the basement for at least a year. And it still smells like pee. We have steam cleaned and, and foam till the cows come up. When I tell you this is something I have dealt with every single day, since we've basically, since we've lived here, I it's no exaggeration.2 (18m 9s):And So what it is is my obsession. My obsessionality focuses on one of these things. All my energy gets put into this. When we lived in New York, it was the rats and the mice. Now it's the P So I, I approached this, like I am going to dominate the S P smell. Then my life is going to be complete. And I finally did it. I S I said, there's no more cleaning these carpet tiles. We've got to take them all up, which was very difficult to do. And we took them all up. I was so proud because I had to really face it, you know, getting down on my hands and knees.2 (18m 51s):I had to really contend with that. Smelling P is like the worst thing for me. I was so proud of myself, my two sons and I, we did all of the work. It didn't smell like pee last night for the very first time the whole family hung out in the basement because we have fun stuff to do down there. We've got a ping pong table and gymnastics equipment and workout stuff. And my daughter, and has been worked down there and I'm like, I'm going to join them. It doesn't suck to be in the basement anymore. We're having a great time. I felt like I was the, one of those prescription commercials. The montage1 (19m 27s):With the medicines like called like rejuvenate X or like Family.2 (19m 33s):I'm throwing my head back and laughing. And we're just enjoying this, having a grand old time. And I decided I'm going to move the laundry along. Cause our laundry is down there. And I pick up this thing of clean wash and stuff. I start folding. I pick up one, I smell pee.1 (19m 55s):Oh my God. Oh my God.2 (19m 57s):And I looked down and the laundry basket that it was put in was a cloth basket all around the bottom. I see it like a four inch ring of yellow around the bottom of my laundry basket. The basket. Well, here are my options for what happened. A Wallace knows how to open the door and goes downstairs to pee. When nobody's looking, it seems unlikely B he somehow gets down there when somebody forgets to close the door. But even then it seems unlikely. Cause I wouldn't. I would know if that happened with any frequency.2 (20m 40s):See, There's a ghost peeing in my Apigee1 (20m 47s):Ghost.2 (20m 48s):Migos1 (20m 49s):Unlikely,2 (20m 51s):Unlikely.1 (20m 54s):I2 (20m 54s):S I F I felt like I was going crazy. I felt last night with this issue, I thought I'll never be free from this.1 (21m 4s):You're like Plagued with the P.2 (21m 7s):And you know, the street that we live on is called fulling mill and a fulling mill is refers to a place where in the process of creating Textiles, they did something with the sh the wool and the S and it had to be cleaned with urine1 (21m 29s):Shuts your mouth this way.2 (21m 32s):Yes. Ma'am yes. Ma'am this entire area. A little clock that I live1 (21m 37s):On2 (21m 39s):Was, is named for what it was. And this one, this town was founded in the 17 hundreds, which was the place down by the water where they cleaned, wash the wool with urine, for whatever reason. Yeah. I mean, could it be that we are just dealing with 300 years Of1 (21m 60s):P well,2 (22m 1s):Hasn't seen, right.1 (22m 2s):I know I it's one of your kids pig and the baskets.2 (22m 6s):I mean, well, in this particular basket, it was around the outside of it.1 (22m 11s):No. So Sue Wallace picked up the leg. We put, what was her2 (22m 17s):Around it? Not just like in one spot,1 (22m 20s):It doesn't make any sense. So we have no answers still.2 (22m 24s):I have no answers. I threw away the laundry basket and it doesn't smell like pee down there any more. But I just, I just realized like, okay, well, this is where it's about my obsession and my intolerance, right? When we lived in New York, I was so traumatized by the rats and the mice. And I just became so deeply intolerant. And that's how it works with fears, as you know, oh,1 (22m 49s):The2 (22m 50s):More you back away from it, the worse it is. Right.1 (22m 53s):And also it's, you're like super, what was it? It was, it's not entirely, it's not intolerant. It's also unreasonable. We become totally on it is an intolerant, but it's like, we become unreasonable about our willingness not to let go of the thing. Like, I, I get it. I've been there when I am. I've been there. But like, what I'm really anointed is is that you're not telling me the answer to what happened. We don't know2 (23m 20s):Girl. I do not know. I don't know.1 (23m 24s):No.2 (23m 25s):No.1 (23m 26s):Okay. So it hasn't flooded. You've never had, so we just don't know how and no other, where there any other laundry baskets in the basement that have this problem?2 (23m 36s):No. Okay. Here's what all allow for allow for This possible, even though the dog never pees inside the house, to my knowledge, you know, I mean, he's two years old now. He really, to my knowledge, hasn't done it in at least a year. Maybe at some point, one of this basket was in my daughter's room. He sometimes sleeps in there, but, but even then I felt like I would have smelled it when I walked in the room,1 (24m 3s):I feel like he would have done it. Why around the basket, this doesn't make any sense.2 (24m 7s):It makes no sense. It makes no sense. I'm choosing to think about it. Like, yeah, there's, there's, there's the logistical practical thing of like, figuring out what happened and try not to let it happen again. But then there's the other, perhaps more important thing, which is, well, it's the, if you're going to pick this to be your thing, you know, you're always going to be vexed by it. That's what I'm, that's what I, it just didn't occur to me really until last night. Like, I'm, there's a part of this that I am doing to myself. Yes. It's P whatever, like we clean it and we move on. Right.1 (24m 42s):So, you know, it is, it is sort of, to me what the P represents in terms of, for me, it's a very, I have a dog that is a very, very bad dog. And she, what is it? What does it mean? If I have a very bad dog? What does it mean that if my dog is not civilized and behaved or doesn't give a shit about following rules, or it means that I have done something wrong and I cannot get clean. Like, it just it's, it cannot, I cannot get clean. Like that is the feeling is I can not, I can never do it. Right. I can never have a perfect dog.1 (25m 23s):And why, why other people seem to, I can't get my dog to be perfect. And it is, it becomes an obsession obsession. So like, my dog got put in timeout, you know, a daycare and like, I could not get over it. I was like, why? I was like, wait, what does this mean? Like I had a whole thing and she has not been back to daycare sentence because I'm like, I cannot risk her going. And then, then she got kennel cough, which is the real reason. And it's expensive as hell. But underneath there is this thing of like, I do not want to deal with my dog getting a bad report every time that she did something rotten and went to time out, time out, which is like five minutes alone with a person it's not even a thing, but like, it is a thing to me.1 (26m 6s):So I get it. And I also do think that it's, I have to I'm of two minds, right? Cause like I'm of the mystery, true crime mind, like I'm trying to figure out. And the, the, and the other mind is the psychological realism. Mine. That's like, no, this is about you and your need to want to be perfect, you know, and want to have a perfect basement where you can have the perfect pharmaceutical commercial.2 (26m 31s):Yes. And you know what also just drives me nuts about myself is that every time I have this moment, I have a satisfying moment like that. I can't really load into like, and so this is how it's always going to be now. I really1 (26m 49s):Believe2 (26m 50s):This is how it's supposed to be. And it's like, and I finally figured out how to do it as if any happy moment isn't just fleeting or, you know, lasts for however long it lasts. Yeah.1 (27m 0s):Right. And we're told that they, you know, like they do and that, you know, it's just like every, any time I cut my hair, I'm looking at my neck. It's always turns into Dora the Explorer hair. I cannot stop my hair for being Dora the Explorer. And it's just because it's thick. So she can, she razors it's down. She does all the things. But as soon as it starts to grow, it is Dora the Explorer hair. And I am just going to have to embrace the door or the hair or2 (27m 32s):Jumps, or1 (27m 33s):Just shaved my head.2 (27m 35s):And also, I mean, take heart because most people who are going through menopause start really losing their hair. So you're still growing loud and proud.1 (27m 45s):It's like a triangle head. I just said, yeah,2 (27m 48s):I know. I get the same thing. It's just1 (27m 50s):Thick. And like, what is happening? Oh yeah. Anyway,2 (27m 54s):How much would she charge if you just asked every couple of weeks to go back in just for a quick ride?1 (27m 57s):Sure. I could do that. I could do that. And then, but then, then I have to confront my fear of breaking the salon chair. Remember that whole fear. I have all these fears,2 (28m 6s):But you've sat in that chair and it didn't break. So1 (28m 9s):No, no, it's going to be fine.2 (28m 10s):I think you're good.1 (28m 11s):I'm going to be good. I'm going to be okay. So that's okay. So, but the other thing I have to say is like speaking of urine is I had a friend in high school who's and this is like pretty sad, but her dad was a drunk and every night he would drink and every night he would pee in the hamper because he would think it was the toilet. So he would walk to the, so this reminded me of that, of like, he was so wasted in the night, in the dark and he would get up in a drunken stupor every night. And then I was like, well, why don't you start? Like, I just, now I'm like, why didn't they move the hamper? Or first of all, why they get his ass out of, to rehab. But like, that's the Real underlying question, but like, why not move the hamper and like put a bowl or something.2 (28m 58s):That's an interesting that, that I don't know how that family responded to it. But like, but that way of thinking about it too, like, that's exactly what I would be thinking. Well, I just have to move the hamper.1 (29m 11s):That's also enable whole fucking bright.2 (29m 13s):Right, right. That is a sad story.1 (29m 17s):It happens a lot where people pee in corners and things. And I had died of a brain aneurysm later, but I had a friend who got so wasted. They literally shit in someone's houseplant. And didn't2 (29m 35s):Inside the house.1 (29m 36s):Yes. He tells, he tells a story about it and he, yeah, he shit in his, he was drunk and shit in, or maybe it was high. He was on drugs, something was wrong. And he found out later cause his friend I think told him,2 (29m 53s):Yeah. Right. It's like, Hey buddy, we gotta have a talk. I mean, I'm willing to put up with a lot, but it's shitting in my plants, shipment my ficus. That's where I got to draw the line.1 (30m 6s):All the2 (30m 6s):Things that it is likely. And by the way, I mean, I ever since writing the essay, like I can't pay any more attention to this Johnny Depp thing and whatever it does come my way. It's just sounds like it's like a bunch of fecal matter. And1 (30m 21s):Okay. So I had2 (30m 22s):None1 (30m 23s):After I read your essay, I was like, okay, let me just check it out. And I was at my friend Jesus house and she was like, you've got to listen. She had like it T vote or something. And she's like, I saved this for you to listen to, because I literally could not understand what he was saying. And I said what? She said, no, it is the most at the same time. And I, and I agree, monotonous mixed with mumble dialogue mix with circular logic, mixed with an effect mixed with pretend and mixed with benzodiazepines. I think he's on to keep him sober and like quote sober.1 (31m 4s):I literally thought, oh, this is a technique he's using to like lawless all into believing, whatever. He, it's so hard to track that the brain goes, just let it go. Like don't even2 (31m 20s):Right. Right. And he gets that privilege because, or he has traditionally because of his looks and his status. Yeah. Oh my God. I speak about looks and status. We predicted it. Brittany Spears is back on her bullshit posting nude selfies. I'm the girl is sick. The woman is sick. And I'm not saying she needs to have whatever, some draconian like guardianship, but she's, but now we know why, because she won't take her GED medicine because people like to feel manic. Right.1 (31m 51s):And also it's going2 (31m 52s):To end badly. It's going to end badly1 (31m 53s):And badly. And also the thing I, our friend on social media, Jimmy McDermott posted. Cause I posted like, you know, I want to write a pilot about this trial. And I said, but I'm going to like totally redo the costuming and the SATs. And then Jimmy mid-term had said, yeah, Johnny tap literally looks like he's the tour bus driver of the Al Capone tour in Chicago. Like he2 (32m 16s):Got, he1 (32m 17s):Does like2 (32m 18s):Three1 (32m 18s):Piece what's happening. So anyway, regardless of that, I just want to say like, don't the mumbling and the that's all for me. And this sort of smiling is so indicative of a manipulative, like person that has gotten away with so much shit. I don't care what you think of him in her. I mean, I, of course I care, but like my, my thing is always from the psychological point of view of what is coming across and what is the speaker trying to do either consciously or unconsciously. And my thing is he is trying to lull us into believing that everything's, he's saying, it's just, it's just so neither here nor there it's just so it's and I'm like, okay.1 (33m 3s):And she says, she says, dad, who, by the way, is recovering from a stroke, said, why won't this guy just shut the fuck up? What is he saying? And I said, exactly, exactly. Well, okay, well,2 (33m 18s):But, but silver lining there Jesus' dad was reading better. He's getting out amazing.1 (33m 23s):I just shut up and I was like, exactly,2 (33m 26s):Exactly, exactly. If you liked what you heard today, please give us a positive five star review and subscribe and tell your friends. I survived. Theater school is an undeniable ink production. Jen Bosworth, Ramirez and Gina plegia are the co-hosts. This episode was produced, edited and sound next by Gina for more information about this podcast or other goings on of undeniable, Inc. Please visit our website@undeniablewriters.com. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you.

Brothers In Arms
Episode 99 - A Bomb-Butt Butt

Brothers In Arms

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 66:53


What came first: the podcast or the laughter? Honestly? We're going to leave that up to you to decide. On this week's episode of Brothers in Arms we begin with the banana phone, “I saw a baby,” that's not weird at all, on leave – again, brandest newest, sign on the dotted line, math for Marines, they kept the light on for you, exit stage right, I got face-rolled, grandparents visit, holding down the fort, baby formula, “I like big bu-,” we're going to make the algorithm, stand the test of time, and Dad jokes to round out the edges. All this and song bombs that go nuclear on this week's episode of Brothers in Arms!   Where you can reach us: Twitter: @YourBIAPodcast Gmail: yourbrothersinarmspodcast@gmail.com Twitch: Twitch.tv/brothersinarmspodcast (Every Sunday @ 9:00-ish PM EST) Website: https://brothersinarms.podbean.com

Alter Your Health
#303 | MM - Regulate Immunity, Reverse Allergies

Alter Your Health

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 28:14


Between 10-30% of the global population experiences allergic rhinitis, otherwise known as "hay fever," which is the most common presentation of environmental allergies.Honestly, I thought allergies were even more prevalent than this. The wide range is likely due to the fact that allergies tend to come and go, which can make them even more difficult to understand and get a handle on.Nevertheless, prescription and over-the-counter allergy medications, such as anti-histamines, are some of the most common pills to be swallowed in our world today. Even with such meds, it can be difficult to manage these symptoms... until now!No, no, no... there aren't any quick fixes to allergies. In fact, reversing allergies is a prime example of playing the long game to allow and encourage the immune system to find its innate balance.In a nutshell, the "allergens" that trigger an immune response aren't bad and we shouldn't have to fear or avoid them. The goal is to retrain and nourish the immune system to offer more resilience. We cover lots of science and strategies for managing and reversing allergy symptoms in today's episode.If you'd like to join these conversations live, be sure to Subscribe to the Alter Health YouTube Channel! https://www.youtube.com/alterhealthSome highlights from today's MM episode...Managing allergy symptoms (+ cold/URI) naturally with steam inhalation,  netti pot, and alternating hot/cold compressThe allergy/anti-histamine herbs and nutrients like nettles, butterbur, eyebright, quercetin, Vit C, NACReducing the load of environmental triggers by removing shoes indoors, washing sheets regularly, dusting/vacuuming, HEPA air filter, etcThe importance of balancing Th1 and Th2 immune responses - resolving system inflammation, avoiding immunogenic foods, gut healing, exposure to bacteria/virusesUnderstanding the stress response and its role in the immune systemLinks to some more good stuff-  Join Alter Health on Locals: https://alterhealth.locals.com/- Cleanse with Us during the next Alter Health Cleanse: https://www.alter.health/cleanse- Work with us in the Thrive on Plants program: https://www.alter.health/thrive-on-plants- ATTN Health Practitioners! Learn more and apply to the Plant Based Mind Body Practitioner Program: https://www.alter.health/pbmb-practitionerPeace and Love.

The Business Journey Podcast
68. How To Get Motivated When Work Feels Hard

The Business Journey Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 16:19


 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-business-journey-podcast/id1552627136 (Apple Podcasts) | https://open.spotify.com/show/4oIVk1IyDWLd5vCsWjPW8N (Spotify) | http://rebeccaricephoto.com/068-transcript (Transcript) This is an interesting topic: how to get motivated when work FEELS hard! Honestly, sometimes "work" feels hard. Now I'm not talking about the corporate job you may have! I'm specifically referring to those who are doing photography. You know, those who are running their own photography biz and some days you just don't feel like editing or culling or bringing vision to what you love! Before diving in... I wanted to give you the opportunity to jump into this FREE class called "https://posing.rebeccaricephoto.com/sign-up-organic (Keys to Effective Family Posing, Goodbye Awkward & Stiff)"! This is a fresh class all about posing families! We put it out a few months ago and the feedback was amazing. So many of you found it beneficial, so if you haven't checked it out you should! You'll leave with very practical things you can use at your next session. Now, by all means when you hit that wall you should pause and decide if need rest. Your body/brain will give you signals to rest. And that is so important to respond and allow yourself to take a day off. But there are times when you've got to do some hard things that need to get done. Today we'll talk about some tips to help you get motivated when work feels hard and you flat out just don't want to! Commit to Your Deadline (With Wiggle Room) We all have our contracts and our goals. I tell my clients I will get their photos back to them in 2 weeks, although, my actual goal is 1 week. I believe committing to your deadlines are powerful and important. When you plan for wiggle room then you can over serve your clients. But, it's important to honor your word and stick to the contract/deadline you put in place. Here's the key: knowing your deadlines and committing to them beforehand makes it that much easier to stick to them when it gets hard. Those deadlines help us to continue to make progress with things! Create Workflows A workflow is simply a checklist of things that are done every time. For example, my team and I use Trello which is a free online business management tool. Basically it's a virtual board of checklists (we LOVE it). This helps me so much because on the days I don't feel like doing anything I can open Trello and look at the checklist. It makes sure everything gets done and allows me to see what HAS to get done for today. Plus, I am a checklist person so there is gratification in checking it off my list! This literally makes me feel productive even when I don't necessarily want to be. Whether the workflow is made up of things you need to do or automations they are valuable! Speaking of automations: I use Dubsado to automate as many things as possible and that is a game changer. I have a Dubsado Workflow in my shop you can take a look at! It translates to Honeybook or other CRMs and shows you how to set up automations. That way you can set it and forget it! Plan With a Playbook Another thing that helps you preserve that brainstorming juice is having a playbook to plan by! I use my Mini Sessions Playbook and it keeps me on track feeling accomplished without having to think about it. It start from 8 weeks out from your session and plans out what's needed each week. This leads up to the day of your minis and after. All you have to do is run the play! Do That One Thing On days you don't have 100% to give choose one thing that you can move the ball forward on. I'm a big believer in progress not perfection. So, it's easier to choose one thing: maybe clearing out your inbox, maybe responding to DMs, etc. Just pick something and complete it. This allows you to clear a part of your "to-dos" and won't exhaust you! Change of Scenery If you'r like me and you work from home your office can either be a...

Prince of Peace
All Things New

Prince of Peace

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 28:30


(Natalia Terfa) We don't often spend a lot of time in the book of Revelation. Honestly, it scares a lot of people thanks to things like the Left Behind series or any artistic rendering of the end times. But what if there is more within this book to offer hope rather than scare us? Scripture: Revelation 21:1-6 Song: Osaka 3AM by Ooyy & Smartface Support our podcast here Watch the Livestream Follow us on Instagram Visit our Website

The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.
Loneliness & Divorce: Why Alone and Lonely Aren't the Same Thing with Vassia Sarantopoulou, Creator of Antiloneliness.com on Divorce & Beyond #236

The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 37:49


This week our Host, Susan Guthrie spends some time with, Vassia Sarantopoulou, Counselor - Psychologist, Msc and the creator of AntiLoneliness to explore what it means to be lonely and why being alone does not necessarily equal loneliness. As humans we crave connection.  We long to feel that we are not alone, but does being alone equal being lonely?  According to our expert this week, Vassia Sarantopoulou, not necessarily!  In fact, there is a big difference in being alone and feeling lonely.  You can be surrounded by people and feel more alone than if you were stranded on a desert island by yourself.  Honestly, there is no more lonely place than in a relationship that no longer works for you and feeds your soul.  In this episode, Vassia and Susan discuss the two main types of loneliness, how loneliness can affect your mental health and some of Vassia's best tips on overcoming loneliness to live your best life!  If you are worried about being lonely as your relationship ends, or are feeling lonely in the midst of your marriage, this is an important first step to thriving alone! About this week's special guest: VASSIA SARANTOPOULOU: Vassia Sarantopoulou is the Founder, CEO and Head Psychologist of AntiLoneliness, a company offering mental health services in The Netherlands and also worldwide. She is also a Trainer, a Perfectionism Expert and a Mental Health Ambassador, promoting Inner Peace, Mental Strength and Healthy Relationships with others and with our Self. Through AntiLoneliness and her team of psychologists, she offers individual, couples or groups sessions to those who struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, burnout, loneliness, relationship issues, transition/change, expat life. She is trained in (Group) Schema Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy, among other approaches (CBT, ACT, CFT), and she is a member of NIP (Dutch Institute for Psychologists), ICEEFT (International Center of Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy) and ISST (International Society of Schema Therapy). She is an advocate of a life without mental health stigma, with an abundance of kindness and with an undying openness to self-awareness and self-growth, and that's what she promotes through her services and online courses, and also through her collaboration with universities, companies and organizations.   Follow Vassia on Social: LinkedIn: Vassia Sarantopoulou  Facebook: antilonelinessproject  Instagram: @antiloneliness Find our more about Vassia Sarantopolou, her programs, groups and more on the website:  https://www.antiloneliness.com Email:  info@antiloneliness.com   TUNE IN MID-JUNE FOR EPISODE TWO WITH VASSIA, WHERE SHE AND SUSAN GO DEEP ON THE TOPIC OF PERFECTIONISM AND HOW YOU CAN LEARN TO LET IT GO, BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND LIVE A BETTER LIFE! ********************** THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR: Thriving in divorce and beyond means not having to worry about the safety of your children when it comes to co-parenting. With alcohol abuse on the rise, many co-parents are turning to the system committed to providing proof, protection, and peace of mind. Soberlink's alcohol monitoring system is the most convenient, reliable, and reasonable way for a parent to provide evidence that they are not drinking during parenting time. Soberlink's real-time alerts, facial recognition, and tamper detection ensure the integrity of each test, so you can be confident your kids are with a sober parent. With Soberlink, judges rest assured that your child is safe, attorneys get court-admissible evidence of sobriety, and both parents have empowerment and peace of mind. Pull back the curtain on the mysteries of parenting time and trust The Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to keep you informed and your kids safe and secure. To download the addiction and children resource page that I developed with Soberlink, visit www.Soberlink.com/Susan   ******************************************************************* MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: SUSAN GUTHRIE®, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country.  Susan is a member of the Executive Council of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and is the Founder of Divorce in a Better Way® which provides a curated selection of resources and information for those facing divorce and other life changes.  Internationally renowned as one of the leading experts in online mediation, Susan created her Learn to Mediate Online® program and has trained more than 18,000 professionals in how to transition their practice online.  Susan recently partnered with legal and mediation legend, Forrest "Woody" Mosten to create the Mosten Guthrie Academy which provides gold standard, fully online training for mediation and collaborative professionals at all stages of their career.   ***************************************************************************** SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at  divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @susanguthrieesq Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel!  Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would  give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us!  You can get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com.  Don't forget to visit the webpage www.divorceandbeyondpod.com and sign up for the free NEWSLETTER to receive a special welcome video from Susan and more!! ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM  

What the Hell Were You Thinking
Episode 362: I Did Not Sea Monkey That Coming

What the Hell Were You Thinking

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 29:54


Show Notes Episode 362: I Did Not SeaMonkey That Coming This week Host Dave Bledsoe keeps checking the mailbox for his pair of X-Ray Goggles only to be disappointed again. (Honestly, you can just look at porn on the internet, dude) On the show this week we tell you the truly messed up tale of the guy who invented Sea-Monkeys. (No spoilers, but he was a Jewish Nazi!) Along the way we learn that Dave gets drunk and falls victim to Facebook scams on the regular. (No surprise there!) Then we dive right into the history of how a guy committed fraud against children by selling cheap crap in the back pages of a comic book. Then we discuss the twisted tale of Harold Von Braunhunt, the creator of SeaMonkeys, X-Ray Specs, and ardent Nazi! (Who is also Jewish) We trace the tale of his rise to child scam fame and fall because he sold a weapon he invented to raise money for seditionists. (No one tell Don Jr.) Finally we explain how even after the Nazi part came out, they still did a Saturday morning cartoon about Sea Monkeys. Our Sponsor this week is X-O Specs, which are not intended for prurient uses and we MEAN it! We open with an ad for Brine Shrimp and close with Jez Quayle who just wants to Monkey around!  Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music:https://youtu.be/lOf5AeFAXaw We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Citations Needed: Comic Book Rip-Off Ads: Sea Monkeys, X-Ray Specs, And More https://groovyhistory.com/comic-book-ads-sea-monkeys-x-ray The Shocking True Tale Of The Mad Genius Who Invented Sea-Monkeys https://www.theawl.com/2011/06/the-shocking-true-tale-of-the-mad-genius-who-invented-sea-monkeys/ A Brief History of Sea-Monkeys https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/642405/sea-monkeys-history CONTRASTS OF A PRIVATE PERSONA https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/1988/04/25/contrasts-of-a-private-persona/de3976fc-c0b0-4448-8e22-3c6d2edf593e/ HITLER AND THE SEA-MONKEYS https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2004/hitler-and-sea-monkeys Uncited Additional Reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea-Monkeys https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2000-oct-01-tm-29473-story.html https://junkee.com/sea-monkeys-brine-shrimp/210801 https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/17/magazine/the-battle-over-the-sea-monkey-fortune.html https://goat.com.au/pop-culture/the-guy-who-invented-sea-monkeys-was-a-literal-nazi/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It‘s All Pro Wrestling Podcast
MCU Later, Episode #29

It‘s All Pro Wrestling Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2022 78:59


Does the funk from last week still permeate into this one? Nah, the boys are their joyous, rambunctious selves again! HUZZAH! Doug had his birthday so he is 40 now, and we don't have to listen to Bill stammer through the most basic of intros. In this episode the boys talk about Bill's mis-adventures at work, the Owen Hart Memorial Tournament, Jeff Hardy, their Pro Kota Ibushi situation, WWE Wrestlemania Backlash, Bill's hot take on the MCU, NJPW's Capital Collision, AEW, and of course Doug's wanting to make kisses with certain fans in the crowd. All this and more, for FREE?! You gots to be shitting me!  This week's episode is brought to you by the Feast Sandwich Company of Willicockick Rhode Island, “Eat a sandwich in the hottest parking lot in all of New England!” Here are a couple of questions for you after listening: How long do you think until Bill snaps and puts a hit on Cuda? Honestly, did you know about the last of the NXT releases? What will it take for Doug to actually watch wrestling this week? My answers: Maybe a month from what I'm hearing under the floorboards. I did because I'm the one constantly feeding Bill notes during recording, he seriously has no fucking clue what is going on. I'm really not sure, I'm more really on the edge of my seat about what he thought about Antman and Wasp 2! Links from the Podcast- Google Sheet of Assignments of the Past  It's All Pro Wrestling Playlist NJPW Capital Collision PPV Assignments For Next Week- February, 2014- IWA Mid-South- Falls Count Anywhere In the County Match: Jordynne Grace v. Heidi Lovelace YouTube August 18th, 2021- AEW Dark- Brandon Cutler v. Frankie Kazarian YouTube Check Everything Else We Do: Twitter Instagram Facebooks Merch- Threadless Store Merch- RedBubble Website Songs Used In The Podcast: Intro/Outro- “IAPW Theme?” by Pop-A-Weasel  “Happy Birthday” by Ludvig Forssell, on Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Extended (Soundtrack) “N95” by Kendrick Lamar, on Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers “Enigmatic” by PeroxWHY?gen/Jeff Hardy, on Precession of the Equinoxes “Big Shots” by Eyedea and Abilities, on First Born “Ironside” by Quincy Jones on Theme From Ironside

UBM Unleavened Bread Ministries

New Age and Alien Deceptions (1) (Audio) David Eells - 5/15/22 Dream of Mars Discovery Deception Garrett Crawford - 4/24/22 (David's notes in red)   I had a dream that a discovery was made on Mars. It was something that the world and the unsaved celebrated. They could not contain their excitement. I could tell this was something that would reshape world history and greatly change the course of the future in respect to beliefs and possibly religion itself. (Those who are just religious and don't know the real Jesus or have the discernment and wisdom of the Holy Spirit will be deceived by the New Age alien deception. The ‘discovery' lie that other beings were created by God and other worlds exist would create an existential crisis for many, especially Christians, and shake their belief systems to the core.) For the longest time in the dream I was not allowed to see what it was. It was a secret guarded by a select few, but eventually a few of this group of people "in the know" gave me a viewing device to see what in fact this discovery was. When I looked into it I saw a photo of the surface of Mars. It showed 3 distinct, yet very aged and weathered faces, carved into a mountainside. Although the faces looked ancient, I could clearly tell they had been carved into the mountain. Almost like an ancient and primitive Mount Rushmore.  Although it did not shake my faith in the least, I could tell that would not be the case for countless others around the world once this was revealed to the public. Then I woke up. I told my wife about the dream of the 3 faces carved into the mountain on Mars. Then this afternoon, as a seeming confirmation for my dream, my wife went to read our daughter a children's book. She opened to a random page and the image she saw was a cartoon drawing of Mt. Rushmore. It was the first time she has even opened the book.   MSM Propaganda Deception: ‘Something's Coming': Is America Finally Ready to Take UFOs Seriously? Article by The Guardian - 2/5/22 (David's notes in red)   Last year was a breakthrough time for UFOs, as a landmark government report prompted the possibility of extraterrestrial visitors to finally be taken seriously by everyone from senators, to a former president, to the Pentagon. But 2022 could be even more profound, experts say, as the clamor for UFO disclosure and discovery continues to grow, and as new scientific projects bring us closer than ever to – potentially – discovering non-Earth life. (When I was a child I saw a full disclosure of a flying saucer that was reverse engineered. I read a story about such a saucer diving into a body of water near Russia when radar was locked onto it. They expected to find wreckage of it but never found anything. It is believed that they can move freely under water. As far as the supernatural type aliens; these are demons. As far as a man-made alien they have these too.) In June, the Pentagon released a highly anticipated report on unexplained aerial phenomena (UAP), the now preferred nomenclature by some in the extraterrestrial community, which found more than 140 instances of UAPs that could not be explained. The report came after leaked military footage documented seemingly otherworldly happenings in the sky, and after testimony from navy pilots helped to somewhat de-stigmatize a subject that has long been defined by conspiracy theories and dubious sightings. All in all, the newly sincere approach to UFOs has longtime sky-watchers excited. “I'm confident that 2022 is going to be a seismic year for UFOs,” said Nick Pope, who spent the early 1990s investigating UFOs for the British ministry of defence. In Congress, where a bipartisan group of senators has been pushing for years for the government to release more information on UFOs, and from the US defense department and intelligence community, Pope said he senses “a genuine desire to grip the issue”. “I think we'll see congressional hearings on UFOs,” Pope said. “I also think we'll see the release of more US military photos and videos of UFOs, and associated documents. Some of this may come via whistleblowers, but much of it may be released by the government itself, either proactively, or in response to requests under the Freedom of Information Act. “Finally, I think we'll see more high-calibre witnesses coming forward, including commercial airline pilots, military aircrew, radar operators, and intelligence officers with direct knowledge of this subject.” It was a group of pilots who brought the issue to the fore in 2021. In a breakthrough interview with 60 Minutes, members of the US Navy lined up to recall their experiences of encountering UFOs on America's coasts. It happened so frequently that the encounters became commonplace, Ryan Graves, a retired navy pilot, told the CBS show. “Every day,” Graves said. “Every day for at least a couple years.” For years, pilots had refused to share tales of their UFO experiences, worried of being labeled kooks or being passed over for promotion. The account of the navy pilots was given credibility, however, by leaked military footage which showed an oval flying object near a US navy ship off San Diego, and separate videos which showed triangular-shaped objects buzzing around in the sky. The US government's UFO report, released in June 2021, fueled more interest. The Pentagon studied 144 incidents reported by military pilots between 2004 and 2021 in preparing the report. Officials were able to explain one of the incidents – it was a balloon – but the rest remain a mystery. Since then the Pentagon, pushed by US senators Kirsten Gillibrand and Marco Rubio, has launched a new office for reporting and analyzing UFO reports, although some in the UFO community suspect the government to be less than forthcoming with its findings. (The government has been dealing with, what they believe to be aliens for many years. A personal friend who was a colonel related to me how he saw these aliens in their underground facility. He said they could pass through walls and could eat children. They had a working relationship with the military.) Still, as the clamor for information has grown, so has interest from the scientific community, and in 2022 a slew of new projects will launch, specifically aimed at detecting alien life… “We've got to start thinking we're not alone. It's: how crowded is it up there?” A frequent backdrop to any discussion of alien life is how it would affect humans here on earth. Some speculate that religions could be shaken to their core, or that there could be a mass existential crisis... which would represent an equally devastating blow to the human sense of self-importance...   Aliens Are Demons Manifested in Flesh Garrett Crawford - 06/15/10 (David's notes in red) There are many people convinced of "aliens" or "guides" that they feel are friendly to humanity, which is a strong delusion because all of the aliens are demons, as the Scripture says. Have you noticed that many of the Planet X / Nibiru researchers have fallen for what they read the ancients said of aliens showing up when Planet X did? They were deceived by demons as a type for our day. We should not to be deceived; they are being released by God to deceive. {Jud.5} Now I desire to put you in remembrance, though ye know all things once for all, that the Lord, having saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed them that believed not. {6} And angels that kept not their own principality, but left their proper habitation, he hath kept in everlasting bonds under darkness unto the judgment of the great day. It is possible they will play the good alien / bad alien game to drive the multitudes into the camp of the so-called "good aliens" but they are all demons. In my dream, I was outside in a populated area, maybe in a park or something. It was nighttime and it seemed like any other summer night. All of a sudden, a lot of strange lights started appearing in the sky. First, it seemed like hundreds of shooting stars falling to Earth; then, as the light became more illuminated, the objects took the shape of spacecraft. The night sky was lit up like the Fourth of July! Everyone was shocked and amazed; from east to west the sky filled with this armada of craft entering Earth's atmosphere. (What the ancients believed were aliens, who showed up during the time of Planet X, according to their writings, were in fact demons who are fallen angels and can take on the appearance of physical bodies, just like God's angels, but for the purpose of deception. The Tribulation covenant could be made under cover of catastrophes, even Planet X / Nibiru. Just as the Woman is going into the wilderness, there is a war in heaven and Satan and his fallen angels are cast to earth to deceive the whole world. {Rev.12:9} And the great dragon was cast down, the old serpent, he that is called the Devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world; he was cast down to the earth, and his angels were cast down with him. Belinda had a dream of a bright star falling from heaven and received Isaiah 14 where Satan is falling from heaven. Isa 14:12-13  How art thou fallen from heaven, O day-star, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, that didst lay low the nations!  13  And thou saidst in thy heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; and I will sit upon the mount of congregation, in the uttermost parts of the north; 14  I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.  15  Yet thou shalt be brought down to Sheol, to the uttermost parts of the pit.) Satan deceives men into thinking he is God and he is pleased with unregenerate falsely called, “good men” which is the doctrine of the New Agers. {2Co.11:13} For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, fashioning themselves into apostles of Christ. {14} And no marvel; for even Satan fashioneth himself into an angel of light. {15} It is no great thing therefore if his ministers also fashion themselves as ministers of righteousness, whose end shall be according to their works. Babylon U.S. is partner in this deception of the nations. {Rev.18:23} and the light of a lamp shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the princes of the earth; for with thy sorcery were all the nations deceived. I was very skeptical, even while seeing this with my own two eyes. I confidently told everyone, "Don't be fooled; it's a hologram! " (Which is one of the theories.) I thought these sights were just a crafty trick (which is true but not as a false vision) but then the ships started to get closer to the ground and they ultimately landed. By this time, I was starting to get bewildered; I didn't know what to think. I was really caught off guard. I thought for sure it was all some sort of illusion by the evil rulers of the world. (They are Satanists and are in on the plan of "strong delusion", which is according to God's will. {2Th.2:8} And then shall be revealed the lawless one, whom the Lord Jesus shall slay with the breath of his mouth, and bring to nought by the manifestation of his coming; {9} even he, whose coming is according to the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, {10} and with all deceit of unrighteousness for them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. {11} And for this cause God sendeth them a working of error, that they should believe a lie: {12} that they all might be judged who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness. It appears in this dream the fallen angels' deception is so strong that God's people will be tested to see who really believes. {Mar.13:22} for there shall arise false Christs and false prophets, and shall show signs and wonders, that they may lead astray, if possible, the elect.) Once the craft landed, the door opened and some humanoid beings walked out. Everyone was amazed and startled at the same time. I couldn't believe my eyes. Still believing this was a hologram, I ran over to the ship to touch it and realized it was real. (Satan and his angels are very technological, if they have to be, and have the ability to manifest and interact with the physical realm. They gave men atomic bombs and anti-gravity flying saucers.) I swallowed hard, realizing I was wrong and I ran back to the crowd.  The humanoid beings dressed in Star Trek-type apparel, were being led out by a blond-haired woman. (There is a woman who has introduced many to speaking and hearing from aliens. This is no different than a seance which is speaking to aliens called familiar spirits.) I, being overwhelmed and slightly intimidated, ran up to her and began to rebuke her in my tongue language. (I often do this in dreams when I feel physically or mentally helpless against an enemy; it often gets me results.)  I thought for sure she would shrivel up in a puddle of goop, like something out of The Wizard of Oz. But, to my astonishment, she just kind of pushed me out of the way, without even acknowledging me. I was perplexed. (The answer to this is, when God sends a delusion to deceive the evil world, we cannot cast it down nor should we try to. 2Th. 2:11 And for this cause God sendeth them a working of error, that they should believe a lie: {12} that they all might be judged who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness. As you can see, we only have authority to help the believers.) I watched the group of beings disperse into the crowd. It seemed like they had specific orders and didn't even stop to talk to anyone; they just went about whatever it is they were sent here for. I remember being surrounded by hundreds of people like me -- everyone just totally in awe of what they saw. After some time, I started to see the beings again, but now they did not look like humans. They had glass faces, like ice. It was like they were wearing a mask, but they weren't -- I could see through their heads and nothing was inside. They had hideous, clown-like faces with big smiles, like jack-o-lanterns. (Thinking these beings to be mere humans while in fact they are demon-possessed is more common than we think. But the whole world outside of Christ will be deceived and possessed.) They were now corralling people like cattle in different areas (FEMA camps). The adults were forced to separate from the children and were taken to a designated area. The children were all taken to another area and placed in long lines, all of which led into a large circus-like tent. (This alien disclosure will bring much confusion and distraction as well as cause people to give up their faith the One True God and falling into the hands of the DS.) None of the children quite knew what was happening; they were all a little less concerned than the adults. I remember leaving the adult group and running over to see what was happening to the children. After seeing what was taking place, I immediately woke up.   The Death Bed Confessions of Werner von Braun, Elon Musk's Father? Deb sent this: "We are also seeing a big split in the ranks of the ruling oligarchy in the US.  Elon Musk, of Tesla, has apparently gotten off the fence and is now openly supporting the white hats. This is significant because Musk is the son of a prominent Nazi rocket-scientist Werner von Braun, according to Japanese intelligence and confirmed by US space force sources.  Von Braun, who is widely credited as being the brains of the US space program, made some interesting confessions as he was dying of cancer. He said the US would attempt to control the world by building space-based weapons. They would justify the massive expenditure by conjuring up fake enemies. First, the Russians, then terrorists, then third world crazies, then asteroids and finally, “the funniest one of all, aliens; extraterrestrials, that would be the final card and all of it is a lie,” he said. Here is video of the woman whom he gave his confession to: https://youtu.be/gP8ftWzFYI4  CIA sources tell us Elon Musk's public life story is a giant lie and that he was set up from the beginning to be a frontman for commercializing Nazi high tech. Sources linked to Musk provided us with evidence that electric car technology has been suppressed for a long time. Here we see electric cars being charged in 1917.  https://stillnessinthestorm.com/2022/05/benjamin-fulford-may-2nd-2022-frb-fenced-off-and-deutsche-bank-raided-in-move-to-strangle-km-funding/ Clip from Operation Disclosure: In 1921 Nikola Tesla's Pierce-Arrow electric car ran on pure etheric electricity – a self recharging car that did not run on batteries, oil or gas. Electric vehicles have been around for much longer than most people realize. This is not even a myth, just a cover up of our lost technology so that they could bill us every step of the way, and have a complete control over us. Free energy = Independence, freedom from the matrix, freedom to go wherever you want, live off grid, have heat and electricity, and live your life happily without government interferences.   I Met Satan :o) Garrett Crawford - 4/19/11 (David's notes in red) I would like to share a dream I had that confirms we should not fear Satan or evil. Evil is not as powerful as our minds sometimes imagine and Satan is no different. I dreamed that I was with an unknown person in this dream that I believe was an angel. I could tell he knew a lot more of what was going on than I did. I accompanied him everywhere he went. I was like an observer. Toward the end of the dream, we entered an elevator. This elevator took us deep inside the earth. I was told we were going to Hell to see Satan. The ride took a long time and my mind was wondering about how Satan would really appear. I was thinking, “Would he be intimidating? Would he be scary? How would I react to seeing him?" Once we arrived at the very bottom, the door opened. I looked around and we were inside a very large, dark cave. Hell was just like I'd imagined it: Big, dark and cavernous. I looked out of the area we were in and looked out into the larger opening. I saw armies and very sophisticated weapons. There was violence taking place and fire was everywhere; it was almost like a war itself. One of the weapons spotted us as we came out of the elevator and fired a missile at us, but it missed and exploded against the wall. My companion, the angel, was never frightened; it was like he knew nothing could hurt him. As he walked, I followed; he knew right where he was walking. He came to a door off in a dark corner in the cave. I realized this was Satan's office. Behind the door was the evil one himself. My heart was racing, not from fear but from the suspense. The angel I was with opened the door and there sat Satan in a chair behind a desk. But to my amazement, Satan was not a seven-foot giant with goats horns. He was a clown. Yes, a clown. And a cartoon clown at that. I was shocked and a little disappointed. I was expecting something more terrifying. Clearly the Lord is saying that Satan and his demons are not to be feared. {Luk.10:17} And the seventy returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subject unto us in thy name. {18} And he said unto them, I beheld Satan fallen as lightning from heaven. {19} Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall in any wise hurt you. The angel then revealed to me that Satan is planning something big for earth. During our trip back up in the elevator, I saw all these green vines shooting up through the elevator shaft from Hell and they were headed straight to Earth. There were a lot of them, like something from Jack and the Beanstalk. But instead of reaching from Earth to the heavens, they were going from Hell to the earth above. Then I woke up. (According to the follow up dream that Father gave Garrett recently, the vines represent the alien deception that satan is sending to earth from the pit of hell.)   Garrett said, “Below is a continuation from the dream above from 2011 called. “I Met Satan". It has the green vines connection where there were green vines growing up from hell and the angel told me "Satan is planning something big for earth.” Well it seems the green vines finally made it to earth and the plan is revealed....   Satan is Planning Something Big for Earth Garrett Crawford - 5/13/22 (David's notes in red) Garrett said, "For a little context; many years ago I worked for mortgage companies securing and repairing vacant foreclosures." I dreamed that me and my dad had been given a work order to secure and inspect a foreclosed home in Los Angeles, California. (Los Angeles means, “The angels.”) It was a big house in a nice neighborhood. It was owned by a black husband and wife in their 50's or 60's. (UFO's and aliens were big in the 50's and 60's. The black couple owning the house could represent that this is a house of sinners submitted to darkness.) (I gathered this information by looking at their family photos still left at the property.) I thought these folks looked very successful from the photos. It didn't make sense to me how they could lose their house to foreclosure. (Foreclosure means that they can't pay their debt so the house is taken back. The debt for our house has been paid by faith in Jesus. If it's not paid because there is no faith then it belongs to the devil.) I thought maybe one or both of them died. But I wasn't sure. I just knew something was amiss. (When one loses their house to the devil, their soul is his too.) We proceeded through the large house taking photos with a camera I had rented at a local camera shop. These photos were to be provided to the bank. Then we walked into the basement and to our utter amazement we saw a small alien infant tangled up in green vines that appeared to be growing from the floor of the basement. (And according to the previous dream they came straight out of hell. This represents the alien deception.)  The vines were attached to the wall and the infant was wrapped up in them. He had a large brown head with 2 large eyes. When we saw him and approached him he became aggressive and hissed at us. (The aliens/demons hate Christians.) I remember taking the rented camera and snapping pictures of him. Even though I was astonished at this I was not overly distracted by it. I proceeded with my work at the property. My dad and I decided not to show the photos to anyone as it would become a distraction to the public. (Could this represent the Father hiding things from the wise and prudent and revealing it unto babes?) I knew people would not be ready to see this. I downloaded the photos off the camera and told my dad to return the camera to the shop. Later, I had sent my report and inspection photos to the bank. The next day I was out and about and realized the whole world was aware of the alien we had found! They had our photos! They were in every publication and on every news station. I had no idea how this had leaked. (True Christians will recognize this as a deception while the rest of the world will swallow the lie, like the waters out of the mouth of the Dragon.) I assumed it was because we returned the camera and the camera shop found the photos on the device and released them. I knew we had discovered it but no one would ever know our identity. I was ok with that, but I was a little disturbed how and why they were released. The world was in a frenzy to say the least. A few days had passed and I was sent back to the same home by the bank to remove the small area of vines growing in the basement. When I got back to the house the alien child was gone but the basement dining room was now absolutely full of green vines. (This will be a world wide deception that will be ‘fed' to all the people and has been planned by the DS for many years.)  The walls and ceiling were now covered. I was supposed to remove them, and it was a daunting task. Then, my dad showed up and we were talking about the alien. The next thing I knew, I stumbled across the rented camera in the basement. I got so upset at my dad because he returned the case but not the camera. (Honestly, I was worried about the late fees. Lol) He said he forgot to look inside the case when he returned it. I realized something strange had happened. How did the world know of the alien if we never took the camera back? Who released the photos? Then I woke up.  (2Th 2:8-12  And then shall be revealed the lawless one, whom the Lord Jesus shall slay with the breath of his mouth, and bring to nought by the manifestation of his coming;  9  even he, whose coming is according to the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders,  10  and with all deceit of unrighteousness for them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved.  11  And for this cause God sendeth them a working of error, that they should believe a lie:  12  that they all might be judged who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.)   If They Lied Once They Will Lie Again Clips from Operation Disclosure: White Hat Intelligence: “If we didn't go to the Moon, where did all the money go that we spent to supposedly get there? 50 years ago NASA supposedly had the technology in Shuttle crafts to travel 230,000 miles away to the moon. This Shuttle needed only one tank of gas and could easily (supposedly) travel through the Van Allen Radiation Belt with no problems. Today [they NASA] can and has ONLY traveled 1/thousandth of the distance since 50 years ago. Back then [they] had technology that was only 1/millionth as strong and capable of today's Smart phone. Today all evidence of Apollo 11 Shuttle craft/ blue prints and original videos have been destroyed. Nothing has been saved from this historic journey and records. All that remains are edited videos of a moon landing that shows three different shadows from the different lighting sources in some clips. No stars in the back ground (later added). Only one photo of Earth was made public for 50 years. The astronauts were warned not to give interviews and seldom do. If NASA did go to moon 50 years ago they would have technology and videos to this day of life traveling to Mars and beyond by now. But NASA can't even duplicate their  Apollo 11 journey, even with the most sophisticated computers and technology to this day that is 1 million times stronger than in 1969. All Apollo 11 equipment was destroyed. All original video tapes destroyed. All original blue prints destroyed. No one would ever do this destruction of a historical land mark and journey in U.S. world history unless they were destroying evidence. Today you can't get good phone service in the forest or far from the city in high terrains or canyons or the oceans, but evidently back in 1969 you had perfect technology to speak with astronauts 150,000 miles away? There is footage coming out by NASA whistleblowers who have leaked the fake videos of Apollo 11 Astronauts  pretending to be traveling half way to the moon. The Radiation Field between the Earth and moon is 25,000 miles thick. To this day they don't have the technology to travel through the Radiation Belt. NASA Astronauts Col. Terry Virts, Dr. Kathleen Rubins and Dr. Kelly Smith (NASA Engineer) say in official NASA videos that no one has gone beyond low Earth orbit through the Van Allen Belts of dangerous radiation yet. This means no one has landed on the Moon yet. (Now all three NASA employees are banned from talking to the public). Think: How can a small Space Shuttle leave the Earth, which is spinning 1,000 miles an hour on it's axis and flying through the Universe at four times the speed of a bullet? How does a NASA shuttle leave Earth to travel a half million miles round trip on a tank of gas, make it through 25,000 miles of a Radiation Belt, have perfect radio communication in 1969 when NASA only had less than 1/millionth of computing power of today's Smart Phone and why was all evidence of Apollo 11 destroyed? (Ooh! Good Question!)   Alien / Demon DisclosureOld Gods and New - Imminent Disclosure? By Gary Stearman (David's notes in red) The definition of Disclosure is, ... the revealing of something long held secret. For important reasons, we now need to be sensitive to this word. In the coming days, it is likely to be resounding through the public media. Of late, this term has been used of several governments around the world ... France and England, to name two ... which have "disclosed" that they have been concealing years of detailed records concerning their interaction with unidentified flying objects ... UFOs.. After decades of fanatical secrecy, they are beginning to reveal that both the phenomenon and the beings associated with it are real. What's more, they are now hinting that they have had various relationships (including technology trades) with alien intelligences. In August of 2009, the U. K. government released thousands of pages of historical UFO documents, kept during the years 1981-1996. They are now online and have also been made available in the public domain. They reportedly detail many close encounters, purported abductions and especially, in-depth documentation about what has been called "Britain's Roswell", the Rendlesham Forest Air Base event that took place in Suffolk. Up to now, the major world media have been reluctant to touch this subject. However, a number of news sources at the edge of society have begun to document the back-channel chatter about our dealings with aliens, reportedly taking place at high levels in our government. One such source is datelined October 21, 2009, published by examiner.com and reporter Michael Salia, PhD. He writes: "An official announcement by the Obama administration disclosing the reality of extraterrestrial life is imminent. (I pray Obama never gets to see these aliens up close in their natural habitat.) For several months, senior administration officials have been quietly deliberating behind closed doors about how much to disclose to the world about extraterrestrial life. (This is such a topic of interest because many have not found intelligent life on this planet yet!)  Dissatisfaction among powerful institutions such as the U.S. Navy over the decades-long secrecy policy has given a boost to efforts to disclose the reality of extraterrestrial life and technology. "The impending disclosure announcement follows upon the secret implementation of a year-long openness policy on UFOs and extraterrestrial life. Over the period February 12-14, 2008, the United Nations held closed doors discussions where approximately 30 nations secretly agree on a new openness policy on UFOs and extraterrestrial life in 2009.  The openness policy was implemented but never publicly announced due to threats against UN diplomats to not disclose details of the secret agreement. The secret UN agreement was based on two conditions. First, UFOs would continue to appear around the world; and second, the openness policy would not lead to social unrest in liberal democracies. Both conditions have been satisfied making it possible for the next stage to begin - official disclosure of extraterrestrial life".   Extraterrestrials? No. What is behind the current UFO phenomenon? Certainly, it involves advanced super-vehicles and visiting aliens. But just as certainly, the visitors are not sci-fi space travelers. Our guide to truth, the Bible, simply does not speak of travelers from the stars, coming here in the latter days to guide mankind into a new age of peace and enlightenment. In Gen. 6:2 the "sons of God” are not fallen angels who descended from heaven to take human wives, resulting in the corruption of mankind as we shall see:   Flesh is Born of Flesh and not DemonsExcerpt from: Sons of God, Aliens and GiantsDavid Eells God said in John 3:6,  That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. So Demons cannot birth Children through humans. Demons can infest humans with lying spirits. (Gen.6:1) And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born unto them, (2) that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all that they chose. Believers are the sons of God mentioned here and in the rest of Scriptures (Ps.82:6; Dt.14:1,2; Hos.1:10; Isa.43:6; etc.). Notice this was "when men began to multiply" not angels. Jesus quoted Psa.82:6 to His people: (82:6) I said, Ye are gods, And all of you sons of the Most High. To be a son you must be born of God, not created, as the angels. Adam was called a son of God and he was born of God when He breathed into him the breath or Spirit (same Hebrew word) of life. Only his flesh was created from the earth and so was ours, which came from his. God specifically says that He never called an angel His son nor are they born of Him. (Heb.1:5) For unto which of the angels said he at any time, Thou art my Son, This day have I begotten (Greek: "born") thee?.... God specifically says their spirits were created. (7) And of the angels he saith, Who maketh (created) his angels winds (Greek: "spirits"). The proponents of this false doctrine say that Satan came among the angels in Job who were said to be sons of God. It does not say that. Satan, the highest fallen angel, was not a son of God but only came among them to be their accuser as he did with Job. (Job 1:6) Now it came to pass on the day when the sons of God came to present themselves before Jehovah, that Satan also came among them. He immediately begins to accuse them to God. (11) But put forth thy hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will renounce thee to thy face. Here is the same case. (Zec.3:1) And he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of Jehovah, and Satan standing at his right hand to be his adversary. (2) And Jehovah said unto Satan, Jehovah rebuke thee, O Satan; yea, Jehovah that hath chosen Jerusalem rebuke thee. (3) Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and was standing before the angel. {4} And he answered and spake unto those that stood before him, saying, Take the filthy garments from off him. And unto him he said, Behold, I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee, and I will clothe thee with rich apparel. Joshua, the Hebrew word for Jesus, and Jerusalem represent the same thing here, the body of Christ who are being accused by Satan. Paul said the heavenly Jerusalem was "the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven" (Heb.12:23). We are seated with Christ in heavenly places. We as the sons of God present ourselves before him constantly and Satan comes among us to accuse us. We are never out of God's presence. You will notice that God separated the line of Seth and the line of Cain in Gen.4 and 5, just as he separated Israel from the Gentiles and commanded them to not cross. In the New Testament Christians are forbidden to marry unbelievers (1 Cor.7:39), although if you are married to one do not leave them for God can save them (7:12-14). Notice in all three of these cases we are talking about crossing the sons of God and the sons of the Devil, or men, which is strictly forbidden (1 Cor.7:39; Ezra 9:2; 10:10; 2 Cor.6:14-18). In all of these cases when the sons of God fell away they began to have fellowship with fallen angels which we call demons (Psa.78:49, called here "angels of evil"; 2 Cor.12:7; Greek: "angel of Satan") Demons did not directly create giants because they cannot. The Scripture teaches that each seed brings forth after its own kind. Jesus said, "that which is born of the flesh is flesh and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit". Therefore, spirits cannot bring forth flesh. Some would argue that Jesus was born of God. Jesus' spirit was born of God but His flesh was born of David through Mary; "the seed of the woman". {Rom.1:3} concerning his Son, who was born of the seed of David according to the flesh, {4} who was declared [to be] the Son of God with power, according to the spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead. Spirits can inhabit bodies of men that can procreate but they cannot have anything to do with making giants through marrying the daughters of men. (Mat.22:29) But Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. (30) For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as angels in heaven. Fallen angels do not procreate man's flesh but his spirit and soul. Spirits sow a spiritual seed, not a physical one. Jesus is the Word, who in Matthew 13 sowed the seed of the Word in His people's heart to bring forth His fruit in them, 30, 60, and 100 fold. In Mat.13:24,27,32 the word for seed in Greek is "sperma". Demons also sow their "sperm" in mankind's hearts to bring forth their evil fruit but this is their spiritual man and not their flesh. Seth, the son of God, is mentioned in the spiritual lineage of Jesus. (Luk.3:38) the [son] of Enos, the [son] of Seth, the [son] of Adam, the [son] of God You will notice that God mentions all of Cain's wicked descendants in Gen.4:16-24. After this we are told, (Gen. 4:25) And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth. For, [said she], God hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel; for Cain slew him. (26) And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enosh. Then began men to call upon the name of Lord.  Notice after all that evil seed God gave one to replace Abel the righteous seed. Why didn't any of Cain's seed replace Abel as a righteous seed? Obviously his seed were evil. (1 Jn.3:12) not as Cain was of the evil one. Only after Seth and his son were born did the scripture say "men (plural) began to call on the name of the Lord". Obviously Cain and his tribe did not call on the Lord. They were sons and daughters of men and as such called on the devil. After Adam there was not another son of God born until Seth; skipping over all of the seed of Cain. (Gen.5:3) And Adam lived a hundred and thirty years, and begat [a son] in his own likeness, after his image (a son of God) ; and called his name Seth. Notice none of Cain's descendants were sons of God but were of men. How then were the giants made? Seth and Cain's lineages stayed separate for hundreds of years. They inbred within their lines, which was not against the command of God at this time. In nature, especially after the curse, this deteriorates the line. They became weaker, smaller, and less intelligent. Wherever there has been inbreeding today, the descendants are sickly in mind and body. When the sons of God began to fall away some became inhabited by demons. This also happened in Israel and Christianity because history always repeats. (Ecc.1:9) That which hath been is that which shall be; and that which hath been done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.  When after years of inbreeding the fallen sons of God and the sons of men crossed, making what is called in nature hybrids. The "Nephilim" were bigger, stronger, and more intelligent because as hybrids they end up with the better physical characteristics of both lines. Later in the Law God forbid inbreeding, at least with close relatives. Now even cousins are a no-no because the farther from Adam we go the stronger the curse has become.  The serpent obviously walked on legs in the Garden because God cursed him to crawl on his belly. That curse was gradual and increased as time went by. Even in Job's day, which was in Jacob's day, he was seeing dinosaurs in Job 40:15 - 41:34. You have to ignore translator's silly notes calling them hippopotamus and crocodile. We have never seen a hippo with a tail like a cedar tree or a croc that stood so tall that a multitude of men with spears and arrows dared not even approach him. The dinosaurs were serpents with legs. Even today some serpents have vestiges of legs beneath their skin. The fire-breathing dragon in Job 41:18-21 was a tyrannosaurus. This was one type of the serpent in that time but it was cast down by the curse to crawl on its belly. {Rev.12:9} And the great dragon was cast down, the old serpent...The increasing curse made it more and more improbable for giants, human or beast, to be bred. Back to Gary's text: Satan and his fallen angels who came to be worshiped by men. Later, idols were erected in their names: Baal, Moloch, Dagon and others. The Egyptian solar disc called Ra was surrounded by Isis, Osiris and a retinue of immortals. Fallen angels were the source of Greek and Roman demigods and goddesses ... Zeus, Apollo, Aphrodite, Artemis ... super-beings with super knowledge. (Some of these are not separate gods but are their names in different cultures. These are titles and traditions of the original false gods and virgin birth story of Nimrod, Semiramis and Tamuz. This story was familiar to these cultures from Babel before they were separated and spread throughout the earth by God.) To put it bluntly, they were man's earliest contact with "aliens from outer space". Since Christ's first coming, accompanied by the general dispensation of the Holy Spirit, they have quietly receded into the background. But just as prophesied for the latter days, they have risen to prominence once again. Given their transdimensional origins, they have the ability to appear in the guise most easily accepted by contemporary society. In the current case, they simply meet man's expectations that there is life on other planets. So they pose as extraterrestrial visitors, bringing advanced technology. But make no mistake, they are one and the same people as the ancient gods. And their goal is the same, namely, to corrupt man to such an extent that Christ's redemption is rendered null and void.   Old Gods and New In the book of Deuteronomy's Song of Moses, Israel is rebuked for having worshiped these false gods: Deu. 32:16,17 They provoked him to jealousy with strange gods, with abominations provoked they him to anger. "They sacrificed unto devils, not to God; to gods whom they knew not, to new gods that came newly up, whom your fathers feared not.  Moses' song is an extended prophecy for the latter days, predicting the events that will characterize Israel's beliefs and behaviors in the period leading up to and including the judgments of the Tribulation. Here, he recalls Israel's past involvement with the false gods, their graven images and idols. These, we now identify as fallen angels and their demonic subordinates. They have emerged once again to prepare the way for the world of the Antichrist. (See Hidden Manna for the End Times for the true nature of Antichrist Beast that so few understand.) But take note especially of the future reference to the "new gods that came newly up". Here, Moses prophesies that entirely new gods of the same genre as the old gods will make their appearance in the latter days. Are we seeing these today, masquerading as space travelers?… (The new age people are in contact with these demons and report their words to the world. The new age people are their prophets.) Though we cannot be dogmatic on the issue, it is nevertheless compelling that this prophecy refers to new gods, unknown to the patriarchs of ancient Israel. It appears that contemporary men of science and technology are now worshiping these new gods, as they bring their gifts of advanced knowledge from the stars. Such tokens are welcomed by those who worship science rather than God. (Many point out that, "As were the days of Noah, so it shall be in the coming of the son of man". So we have to have the same problem today with giants. But they're not the giants that we have the type and the shadow for in the Old Testament. We can't make gossip into doctrine. There are people that say they've seen these giants. In fact, I heard a story about giants that were seen and disappeared in front of them. Well, that lets you know that they weren't fleshly giants. And these giants in the Bible were flesh. They died. They were killed. The flood wiped them out. Doesn't sound much like man crossed with angels. If they were, they didn't have much angel in them did they? They all died. Normal sized humans in the Bible killed these giants. So just how much angel could they have had in them?  Just one angel in the Bible killed 185,000 men. You don't want to mess with them. Now, if we had two or three witnesses, fine, but what we really have is a whole bunch of fables that the Christians are passing on just like the Jews did. Any giants that disappear are just like the aliens; they're just demonic manifestations, not men.  In a Bible Code search for these things, Fabrice found a matrix which said, "The Aliens / All are Seraphim / Many are [the] UFOs / All are demons / The Wicked ones". Remember that angels manifested in the appearance of men in the Bible and so can demons. We also have on our site a testimony by a man who became a Christian when researching alien abductions and finding out that when many Christians were abducted and used the name of Jesus on the aliens, they found themselves in their bed and the aliens were nowhere to be seen. The same colonel that I spoke of earlier was forced to sign a pledge to not speak the name of Jesus around the aliens in the DS underground cities.) Also read: Aliens Are Demons Manifested in Flesh Alien Demons Bow to Jesus' Name Sons of God, Aliens & Giants Of course if aliens planted life on this planet some would say, “God is old fashioned.” This is the whole point the devil wants to make. And also, these aliens will do everything they can to destroy the Bible and belief in God.   “Added Books of the Bible" Disproven by God David Eells - 4-27-22 The people are wrong who say: "There were other books of the Bible that should have been included or the apocryphal books should not have been taken out. Saying we only had 66 of them, while many were missing. The White Hats retrieved all of them from the basement of the Vatican.” Who made these people experts on the anointed words which they have never followed? There have been many books hidden at the Vatican but numerics is a pattern in every letter of the original Greek and Hebrew; parts of which are shown in various ancient manuscripts. Every manuscript can be proven as to where this pattern is or isn't, showing the original text.  This pattern was designed by God to prove that only the 66 books are inspired by Him. No other book has been found to have this complete pattern in every letter and its position. The Catholics added their apocryphal books that were proven not to have this pattern. The original KJV had these books in it. Satan and his "aliens" want desperately to pollute the Bible. The "New Agers” throw out the book of Revelations, which has this perfect pattern disproving their 1000 years of peace. Where the original "Numeric Greek New Testament" is used Bible skip sequence codes will show up all through the text. God pronounces a curse at the end of the true Bible on all who add to or take from its Words. Rev 22:18-21  I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto them, God shall add unto him the plagues which are written in this book:  19  and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the tree of life, and out of the holy city, which are written in this book.  66 Books Proven by Math Science Proves the Bible Numeric English New Testament The Holy Bible, Wholly True Numerics and the KJV Numeric Materials       Select LanguageAfrikaansAlbanianAmharicArabicArmenianAzerbaijaniBasqueBelarusianBengaliBosnianBulgarianCatalanCebuanoChichewaChinese (Simplified)Chinese (Traditional)CorsicanCroatianCzechDanishDutchEsperantoEstonianFilipinoFinnishFrenchFrisianGalicianGeorgianGermanGreekGujaratiHaitian CreoleHausaHawaiianHebrewHindiHmongHungarianIcelandicIgboIndonesianIrishItalianJapaneseJavaneseKannadaKazakhKhmerKinyarwandaKoreanKurdish (Kurmanji)KyrgyzLaoLatinLatvianLithuanianLuxembourgishMacedonianMalagasyMalayMalayalamMalteseMaoriMarathiMongolianMyanmar (Burmese)NepaliNorwegianOdia (Oriya)PashtoPersianPolishPortuguesePunjabiRomanianRussianSamoanScots GaelicSerbianSesothoShonaSindhiSinhalaSlovakSlovenianSomaliSpanishSundaneseSwahiliSwedishTajikTamilTatarTeluguThaiTurkishTurkmenUkrainianUrduUyghurUzbekVietnameseWelshXhosaYiddishYorubaZulu Powered by Translate Printer-friendly version

Nerd heaven
Stargate Universe ”Seizure” Detailed Analysis& Review

Nerd heaven

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2022 24:54


Who doesn't love a good crossover? In this episode, we get to see not one, but two beloved characters from Stargate Atlantis (both of whom got their start on Stargate SG-1). Richard Woolsey and Dr. Rodney Mackay assist the crew of Destiny in their attempt to convince the Langaran government to let them dial Destiny from their planet. The only thing missing is Jonas Quinn. But are they putting the people of Langara at risk? While all that's going on, we also get more insight into what life is like for Perry and Ginn as disembodied data structures. Rush goes on a journey that ends in heartbreak. I have a lot to say about both plots in the episode, so let's dig in. ----more---- Transcript Welcome to Nerd Heaven I'm Adam David Collings, the author of Jewel of The Stars And I am a Nerd. This is episode 86 of the podcast   Today, we're talking about the Stargate Universe episode “Seizure”   And if you'd like to check out my original science fiction books, head on over to AdamDavidCollings.com/books   The description on GateWorld reads Homeworld Command tries to convince an ally occupying a naquadria-rich planet to let them try to dial Destiny, but suspects that they have already been infiltrated by the Lucian Alliance.   This episode was WRITTEN BY: Rémi Aubuchon It was DIRECTED BY: Helen Shaver And it first aired on 27th February 2012   The episode opens with a very familiar face. Richard Woolsey, played by Robert Picardo. No longer in his Atlantis uniform, he's back in suit and tie. He's negotiating with an ambassador from the planet Langara. That's Jonas Quin's world. The place where Naquadria was first discovered. This planet has a naquadria core. The perfect place for dialling Destiny.   It's a bit of a shame that Jonas doesn't appear in this episode. It would have been cool to bring back Corin Nemmick, but then, there's already so much in this episode that I don't think they would have done him justice. It would probably have been little more than a cameo.   It seems word got through from Senator Michaels. Chloe convinced her that they should go ahead with trying to dial Destiny so as to provide supplies and personnel.   But this is a big risk. The last two planets they dialled destiny from were destroyed. Langara is a populated world with millions of humans. If this goes badly, the loss of life will be catastrophic.   Telford argues there were mitigating circumstances in both of those cases. Personally, I'm not so sure. I wouldn't be inclined to try doing this from a populated world.   But Woolsey assures the ambassador - Ovirda, that they have a new solution for dialling the gate. And with that, the door is opened, and in walks Doctor Rodney Mackay.   Okay. We need to pause for a minute so we can scream with nerdy glee. Two popular characters from Stargate Atlantis are appearing in this episode. And both of those characters got their start on SG-1. So this is a huge crossover event. I'm fanboying all over the place.   Before Mackay can say more than a few words he's interrupted by Ovirda. He isn't a scientist. He's not interested in hearing Mackay's speech. He'll let his own science people decide. If they think it's safe, then he'll consider allowing Earth to use his planet to dial Destiny. He's not going to risk his world on the hearsay of people from Earth with their own agendas.   And quite frankly, I don't blame him. If I was in his position I'd be saying the exact same thing.   But there's a catch. The Lucian Alliance still want Destiny. That's speculation, but well-educated speculation. They know there are few worlds where the dialling can be done. They'll be coming for Langara, and they won't care if they destroy the planet or not.   Ovirda says it sounds like Earth's protection is becoming conditional. And Woolsey doesn't exactly deny it.   Mackay is very sure of his science. But then that's always been his problem. He's overconfident in his own abilities and superiority. Remember that time Mackay accidentally destroyed a solar system?   Telford thinks the Lucian Alliance have already gotten to Ovirda's people. I find that an extraordinary statement. I mean, it's probably true, knowing how story-telling works, but as I've said, I feel that Ovirda is acting just the way you'd expect somebody in his situation to act.   But Telford has further evidence the others don't know about. Something about satellites. Honestly, what he says is a bit vague and the episode rushes through it very quickly. The point is, it's looking like Langara has sided with the Lucian Alliance in this war, undeclared though it may be. That means the Alliance can launch an assault on Destiny at any time. Without Mackay's solution. But my question is how. Are we to believe they've come up with their own solution? How have the alliance convinced Ovirda's people that they can safely dial without destroying their world? This seems quite unbelievable to me.   Young, who is visiting Earth with the stones, says they're launching a fact-finding mission to Langara. Call it a proof of concept. Mackay is delighted when Young wants him to go through his presentation. But before he can start, Young says, not here.   Now, there's a big elephant in the room of this episode. We don't know what happened to Atlantis. Is it still on Earth? Or did they take it back to Pegasus? What are Woolsey, Mackay, Shepherd and the rest doing when they're not helping with this project? We don't get any answers to these questions, and maybe we never will. Back on Destiny, Rush is playing chess with Perry. Of course, he has to move the pieces for her, since she has no physical substance. And we learn that Perry may have been the only person who Rush could never beat at chess.   Things are actually looking really good for these two. Perry is no longer trapped in a broken body, and Rush gets to have the woman he loves around all the time. Previously, he only got to see her occasionally when she visited the ship using the stones.   It turns out, in her new non-corporeal form, in the ship's computer, Perry can concentrate on multiple things at once. She is also studying the ancient pattern and reviewing the ship's sensor readings. Rush argues she is more now than she was. She is better than a human. I think Rush may actually be jealous.   But Perry dreams of having a flesh and blood body. And he dreams of that two. Because then, well, they could be closer physically, in a number of different ways.   Perry surprises us all by saying “there is a way.” So Mackay arrives on Destiny. He's in Brody's body, but he was expecting Rush. The plan was that Rush would go to earth and look over Mackay's notes while Mackay explained his theory, not to Rush, but to Eli. If Eli is convinced, then Young is convinced.   But apparently, Rush has taken the day off. He's in the interface chair running a program.   I'm sure most viewers were expecting a lot of interaction between Mackay and Rush in an episode like this. Certainly I think that would have been intreresting.   I wonder how that conversation would go. In some ways, Rush and Mackay are so similar. They are both insanely intelligent, but they also both have very similar personal flaws. And yet, they have just drastically different personalities.   If anything, I think Mackay would want to try to prove that he was the smartest, whereas Rush would even lower himself to that. He'd see such petty competition as beneath him.   Anyway, TJ says that Rush is basically in a sleep-like state in the chair. He's actually in what Perry calls an immersive simulation. It was already in Destiny's database. Perry just had to find a way that they could experience the program together. So…what are they doing in this simulation? Well……I'm sure you can guess what they'd be doing. They appear to have just finished making love.   So the chair is now basically Stargate's holodeck. They can create any simulated scenario  with hyper-realistic sensory input. and experience it. Maybe The Matrix is a slightly more accurate analogy.   Greer just donated a kidney, and he's already running around the ship, trying to get some exercise. C'mon mate. This is a bit silly   Mackay and Eli are arguing passionately. They can't seem to agree. But not about the dialling program. They confirmed that was good and moved on a while ago. We don't actually get to learn what they were discussing. Probably something wonderfully nerdy. Rodney actually likes Eli. Says he reminds him of himself at that age. He's about to make a disparaging comment about Eli's weight but before he can finish, Eli mentions Rodney's hair.   Young says Rodney can go back to earth now. He's a little disappointed, but if this works, he can always come back in person.   And when he appears back on earth, the first thing he says is “He didn't eat any citrus while in my body did he, because I don't feel great.” Ah, classic Rodney Mackay. He is, of course, allergic to citrus, which is a serious matter, but Atlantis and SG-1 often took delight in making jokes about it.   So it's time to talk about the plan. Woolsey has reservations. And frankly, so do I. The first few times I watched this episode, I was focussed on how cool it was to have Woolsey and Rodney on the show. This time around, I'm really thinking deeper about what they're doing. They're going to go to another planet, and enact this plan against the will of the inhabitants. And no matter how much Rodney and Eli say the plan is safe, I don't think I'd be willing to risk this on a populated world - at least without their consent. If it goes wrong, they murder billions of people. And let's not forget, there are three main countries on Langara. Stargate Command are probably negotiating with the Kelownans. Even if they agree, Terrania and Andari are at just as much risk.   Woolsey wants to make some kind of peace offering. According to intelligence, the alliance are likely to make their move on Langara in a few days, invited or not. So O'Neil believes the Langarins would prefer to side with earth rather than the alliance. The idea is to prove that Rodney's dialling program is safe, to make Earth's said more palatable. Woolsey won't support a mission to take the Langaran stargate by force, but Young says they won't be doing that, and they do have a peace offering.   Greer is fighting another fever. He says he'll fight harder, but TJ explains it doesn't work that way. Greer remains unconvinced, which is unfortunate. I think Greer's unwavering belief in his strength is his greatest weakness. A certain pig-headedness is probably advantageous for a marine, but Greer is so afraid of losing his macho image, not just in other people's eyes, but in his own eyes, that he's making unwise decisions. Doing stupid things. Greer's smarter than that. But he's blinded by his desire to be strong at all times.   Eli has figured out that Rush has uploaded his consciousness into Destiny's computer. Amanda finds life as an incorporeal thought pattern lonely. I wonder where Ginn is in all of this? Have these two tried interacting with one another at all?   Amanda wants Rush to keep their little simulation a secret. Rush was actually open to making it public. But it's not gonna stay a secret. Eli is already on the case. Rush is being pretty responsible about this whole thing. He knows there's a real world out there where he's needed. He can't just lose himself in this simulation.   When Rush tries to wake himself up, it doesn't work. Amanda taps away at a console, but Rush reminds her that nothing she does in here means anything. These are not real controls. They're in a simulation that is isolated from the real ship. The only option is for her to appear in the real world and talk to someone.   Meanwhile, Eli is trying to get a hold of Ginn, who doesn't seem to want to appear. He knows what Rush has done. He just doesn't know how to fix it. He and Ginn actually had the exact same idea. But Ginn didn't want Eli to try it because uploading a human consciousness into a computer and back again is pretty dangerous. Which makes perfect sense.   Eli points out that on their way toward ascension, the ancients did a lot of work into transferring human consciousness. The communication stones were one example of that. And that makes a great deal of sense to me.   The reason Ginn is hiding is because she got annoyed at Eli when he tried to convince her he should take the risk.   Amanda says the problem was that Ginn's disapproval manifested in preventing Rush's wake-up from working, but it should be good now.   This time, when he tries, Rush wakes up surrounded by Eli, Brody, and Park.   Evidently, they have convinced Woolsey to go along with their plan. He gates to Langara and presents a gift for the ambassador. A carved ancient artefact. When the soldier touches it, he is immediately body-swapped with Scott. Because, of course, the artefact is the communication stone.   Young takes over the administrator Halperin's body in much the same way.   Young and Scott give a decent performance. Not all of the Langaran's are entirely convinced. But they've prepared the way for the team from Earth to come. They are going to attempt to dial the gate.   I'm gonna say it again. It's awesome to see Mackay in SGU.  He's busy being Mackay about everything. And Young just says, “Shepherd's right.” Oh what  I would have given for a big crossover event stories with characters from SG-1, Atlantis, and Universe, as a way to finish off the story when this show was cancelled. Pity that never eventuated.   Whoolsey has a second objective. He's searching the commander's office.   Telford really wants Rodney on the new team that travels to Destiny, assuming they successfully dial the gate. Rodney is excited by the possibilities, of course, but he's hesitant about the whole maybe never getting home thing. But he's taken that plunge before. He knowingly left Earth for Atlantis, knowing less about the place than he does Destiny, with the very real possibility they may never come back.   Rodney picks up on some of the tension between Telford and Young. Not so much personal tension anymore, but there's still professional tension. Telford would like to be the one calling the shots. Then again, he was the first in line to come home when Eli was running his dialling program from within the star.   I think what it comes down to is that Young has Rush. Telford wants his own socially inept genius. But Telford asks the question “what is it with genius and lack of social skills?” And that has me wondering. It's a cliche in fiction, but is there a correlation in the real world? Is it common for real geniuses to lack social skills? I have a feeling that is the case, but is that just because I've been exposed to this trope so often in my fiction?   Woolsey has found evidence that the Langarans have refused to work with the Lucian Alliance, for fear of jeopardising their relationship with Earth. Time after time they've been offered more, and each time they've refused. It looks like their spy satellites were wrong. The langarans are not working with the enemy. Telford thinks this changes nothing. Woolsey is not so sure. Young gets a phone call for Administrator Helperin. There are concerns from the higher ups. They're on their way. Perry appears to Rush, to make sure he got out okay. Then she vanishes. We cut to Eli. Ginn appears and tells him she's performed an emergency shut down of the FTL drive. She needs a distraction. Rush is still in the chair. What he thinks the world is not actually real.   Perry made a mistake and there is no way out of the simulation. Ginn doesn't think Perry did it on purpose. She's deceiving Rush to buy time until she can solve the problem. But if this isn't deliberate, why doesn't she reach out to Eli like Ginn did? And why suppress Ginn was reaching out?   Anyway, Rush is not easily fooled. He figures out he's still in the simulation and sets the ship to explode. This is Rush's way out. If this doesn't work, nothing will. Perry insists that this is real. He'll kill everyone on the ship.   Young says they need to reconsider. Telford is going by the adage “It's better to ask forgiveness than permission. It'll all be okay once it's done and their point is proven.”   This is about to turn into a disaster. Armed guards enter. So they have two options. They stand down, or they defend themselves, with force, until the gate is dialled. That means they fire on their allies. They kill innocent Langaran soldiers. Young is not prepared to do that. Telford is.  It's a very tense moment as they wait for the countdown to the 8th chevron. In the end, it's Rodney, of all people, who speaks the voice of reason and convinces Young to shut it down. This mission is already a failure and it's only going to get worse.   But the observed data so far suggests it probably would have worked.   Eli has everyone working on the problem. Which is good because Rush's plan didn't work. Destroying the ship didn't get him out, but it did prove that he's in a simulation. Now Perry has to face Rush's disappointment that she lied to him.   Then we get the bombshell. Perry programmed a parameter into the simulation. Rush can come and go as long as he and Perry love each other. She loves him but she has concluded that he doesn't love her. Because he can't leave. Rush insists that he does love her.   This was all very unfair of Perry, which she admits to. Love is a complex thing. It can't be quantified as simply as Perry is trying to do. Perry is head over heels for Rush. She's been in love with him most of her life. The feelings Rush has for Perry are different, because he is different. His feelings for her are much newer.  He is a more self-sufficient and selfish person by nature. And he is still filled with grief over the death of his wife. All of these factors, and probably many more, are causing the software to return a false value, rather than a true, to whether Rush loves her. But you can't encapsulate love in a boolean value like that. Relationships start very shallow. And they grow. They continue to grow over a lifetime. The love my wife and I share now is different from the love we shared when I asked her to marry me. It's stronger now. More mature. Deeper. Perry is writing Rush off because she's further along in her feelings than he is. And that's not just unfair, it's stupid and naive. I suspect Rush could love her in the way she wants. He was well on the way to that. Right now, he's in the infatuation stage. But you can see it growing.   But there's an even bigger bombshell. The only way to get Rush out of this simulation now, is for Eli to delete the area of memory where it's all stored. The area of memory where Perry and Ginn are stored.   For Rush to escape, both Perry and Ginn have to die.   So Perry plays Juliet, and childishly kills herself rather than live without the love she perceives Rush doesn't have for her, and in the process, she murders Ginn.   Rush may be selfish, but he's got nothing on Amanda Perry.   You can tell by the look on Rush's face as she vanishes, that Perry was wrong about him. Young and Scott are back. The Langarans have agreed to release Earth's people in exchange for defence against the Lucian Alliance. And the removal of the stargate from their power generation facility. I guess they want it somewhere else, nowhere near their naquadria.   This has been an episode of massive screw-ups.   The one good decision made in this episode was by James. She showed her Langaran prisoners around the ship. Let them have a glimpse of the life those stranded crew are experiencing.   Rush wakes up from a coma after a few days.   We get one little bit of good news. Perry and Ginn aren't gone forever. Not deleted, but quarantined. Cut off in a part of memory where they can no longer interact with the crew. So while Ginn is not technically gone, she and Eli can't see each other any more. Maybe they can find a way to bring them back some day. It's a small sliver of hope.   Eli made a huge sacrifice for Rush. He's not going to be able to forgive Rush quickly for this, if ever.   In the last moment of the episode, we realise Greer has finally started listening to TJ, as he urges Rush to do the same.   So I bring you back the question I asked at the end of last episode. Ginn and Perry are now gone.   If you could bring your loved one back again, to speak with them one more time, but then have to go through the pain of losing them a second time,  would you do it? It's an even more difficult question to answer now, isn't it.   This was a powerful episode. I always remember this for the Langaran stuff. The coolness factor of seeing Rodney and Woolsey in Stargate Universe. But in reality, I think that element is almost overshadowed by the emotional intensity of what has just happened, with the Amanda Perry plot.   We all feel insecurity at times. I certainly have, but Perry's insecurity has taken everything from Eli, Ginn and even Rush.   I think the biggest takeaway from all of this is simply this. In your insecurity, don't do stupid things.   Next time, we're getting into some old fashion Stargate planetary action, in The Hunt.

Slimming Stories
Episode 102 - For Mental Health Awareness Week I explain how it's possible to remove emotional pain from a memory.

Slimming Stories

Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2022 21:17


  Before mental health awareness week passes us by, I wanted to jump on and record an episode to support you in any struggles that you're feeling right now. I want anyone that is listening to this episode to know that regardless of where they are at right now with their mental health, you are not broken and unfixable. If you have tried C.B.T, N.LP, Counselling, E.M.D.R…..and have felt beyond the point of therapy this episode is especially for you. I am giving you the chance for me to help you with a painful memory and the best part is that this is content-free, I do not need to know the details of the memory. In this episode, you will hear how I explain that with the best will in the world if you are struggling with a painful memory from the past that a weight loss journey can feel like an uphill struggle. I'm inviting you to offload the pain and while you will still remember the event the emotional pain will no longer be attached. I'm offering this to show you that there is hope and I'm offering this for free. Listen as I read a testimonial from a lady who had spent years in therapy and how I helped her using this exact technique in just 10 minutes. I know EXACTLY how this sounds! Honestly, even if you're skeptical I urge you to give this a try and break free from emotional pain. **There are some people who may not benefit from hypnosis and once you register you will receive this information. Register your interest by reaching out to me on my email address: claireoldhamwest@gmail.com   Slimming Stories Facebook Group. https://bit.ly/3H2RRns YouTube Channel  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx4JqpRnPwmP6MvAf6ieYYw