Podcasts about Honestly

What are you waiting for? It's almost time for the 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.I'm SO excited to drop this episode today because this simpe habit I've started has CHANGED MA LIFE, Y'ALL! If you've ever reached the end of the day and wondered “Where the hell did my time go?” this episode is going to change your life. We're diving into the magic of hourly time logging, the simple, eye-opening habit that shows you exactly how you're spending your days so you can take your power back. I break down how tracking your time hour by hour reveals your hidden energy leaks, your productivity sweet spots, and the places you're unintentionally self-sabotaging. If you're a busy mum, a business owner, or someone constantly feeling behind, this tool will give you clarity, control, and a deep sense of calm. It's like giving your brain a reset button. I'm very aware of the Parkinson Rule, that a task will take up the amount of time you give it, and so just a few months into my girls being at school I've gone from feeling liberated to just as busy as I was before. Nah. That's not for me. Something had to change. We're going to explore how time logging becomes a manifesting tool. Instead of living reactively, you begin designing your week with intention, choosing who gets your time, where your energy goes and what truly matters. This episode is packed with practical tips, real-life examples, and the mindset shifts that make this habit stick. If you want more productivity, more peace, and more time for the things that actually light you up, you're going to love this one.How to do it. Starting at the beginning of your work day, begin logging on a notebook or the notes section of your phone the hour. So for me I start at 9;30am and the first section will be 9:30 - 10:30. Then as you go about your tasks list everything you do within that hour time block. If you scroll on social media for 10 minutes, list it. If you reply to a couple of emails, list it. It all goes on! Now, as always, I think the magic is in sharing it. I've been sharing mine with those I work with and that gives extra motivation. Could you share your time logging with a colleague, partner or a friend who is also struggling with their time management? See how much you can get done when you are doing this. It will astound you! If you want to take this further and feel less overwhelmed in your home life too, you can begin to log your hours outside of work too. Now, the goal isn't to log every single hour of your life forevs, but it IS very illuminating and freeing. Since doing this I've been on top of my work, on top of my housework and more present with my children. Win, win, win! Let me know how you get on with it. Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comBy the way, do we love my Amazon Storefront - it even has all my favourite self development books on there!(Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Sam goes where he's never gone before for our sixth annual Winter Bizarre with a delve into his teen psyche as he recaps A Very Jonas Christmas Movie from 2025. Does he know anything about the Jonas Brothers? No. But neither does Danielle, so it's fine. We quickly learn there are three of them, which Danielle was pretty sure about having paid some modicum of attention to the last twenty years of music, but Sam was guessing on through context. Unfortunately, other than that, the movie is short on details about the lives of the Bronases, expecting if you are choosing to watch this movie you already have some insider knowledge. They'd be wrong. In a surprising twist of movie-telling, when the Bronases are going to be separated for the holidays post-tour (which frankly, they should be for their mental health), Santa decides to help them out by gifting them the curse of not being able to leave Europe and make it home to their families in the states for Christmas. Yes, Santa does think that three grown, wealthy men who have a private jet are the protagonists of a holiday movie. Yes, the movie is not about the inherent system inequalities of the industrial wealth complex and how the Bronases overcome it to become better people. Yes, Santa does think these men with families who just spent every day of the last six months together on tour need to skip seeing their children to spend more time together. Santa…what are you doing right now? Anyway, morality aside, cue shenanigans as the trio Planes, Trains, & Automobiles all over the continent trying to escape the curse of Santa. Oh, did we mention it's a musical? And we don't mean a "of course, it has musical numbers, the Jonas Brothers are on tour", we mean a full-on musical with dance sequences in train stations. Does that make up for the premise? Honestly, yes. Did Danielle watch this the moment Sam was done talking about it? Also, yes. The Bronases are shockingly delightful as they gallivant around Europe in search of…each other? Per usual, therapy would solve these issues. Per usual, nobody gets therapy and their emotions are solved by literal magic. Oh, holiday movies, never change.

In this Episode, I revisit my 2025 predictions! From the typical Frank “I told you so's” to the ones I got completely wrong. So…how did I do? Honestly, better than I expected. A little impressive. Maybe even scary at times.  Merry Christmas!

Interview with Tom Trevatt!In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of sitting down with Tom Trevatt, an outstanding photographer, educator, and podcaster whose work goes far beyond images.This was one of those rare conversations that stay with you long after the recording ends. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I went this deep into photography, not just as a craft, but as a human experience. We talked about the creative process, how photography becomes a bridge between people, and why connection often matters more than technique.We explored what it truly means to see someone, how trust is built in front of the camera, and how authenticity shapes both personal work and commercial success. We also dove into business and marketing, not from a surface level perspective, but through the lens of purpose, intention, and long term thinking.And yes, we could not avoid a meaningful discussion about AI. Not as a threat, not as hype, but as a tool that challenges photographers to think deeper about their identity, value, and direction in a rapidly changing industry.If you are tired of conversations focused only on lighting setups, camera gear, and technical checklists, this episode is for you. This is a discussion about photography as a language, about growth as a creative, and about staying human in an industry that is constantly evolving.Grab a coffee, slow down, and allow yourself to listen to a conversation that goes beyond photography, and straight into why we do what we do.►https://www.tomtrevatt.com►https://www.instagram.com/tomtrevatt.photography/►https://www.tomtrevatt.com/education►https://www.youtube.com/@UCY4mnNEBGzhfFrxLBr1mrig ► Subscribe to My Channel Here: http://www.youtube.com/c/RafalWegiel​​​ ►Website: http://www.rafalwegiel.com​​​ ►Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rafalwegiel​​​ ►Twitter: https://twitter.com/rafalwegiel​​​ ►Instagram: http://instagram.com/rafalwegiel​​​ ►Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rafalwegiel

Christmas week can be beautiful and magical, and also… heavy, chaotic, and emotionally exhausting. Today's episode isn't about protein targets, perfect workouts, or “balancing out” desserts. It's about making your fitness a VIBE, and something that supports you (instead of draining you). This year stretched me in ways I never expected. From serious health issues to scary moments with my kids, unexpected losses, and being forced to slow down when I didn't want to, 2025 asked more of me than most years EVER have.Honestly? I did the bare f*cking minimum with my fitness for long stretches of time. Not because I didn't care, but because that's all I had.If you're in a similar season where all YOU can do right now is the bare minimum, that is still enough! This week, your effort might look smaller, but your intention gets to be BIGGER. It's not about pushing harder - it's about showing up softer, and in a way that truly supports you in this season.Episode recap:Why your Christmas week doesn't need perfect workouts or rigid rulesMy reflection on an incredibly challenging year + how this impacted my fitnessWhy the bare f*cking minimum IS enoughPrioritizing your atmosphere over workouts3 ways to romanticize your fitness during the holidaysWhy your biggest fitness progress isn't always physicalLinks/Resources:Ep. 220 | Romanticizing Your Fitness: Softness, Intention & Connection This Holiday SeasonGrab your FREE Body Recomp Meal Prep and get the UFYF NewsletterListen to the Girls with Opinions PodcastJoin FIT CLUB, my monthly membership with workouts you can do at home or the gymPRIVATE COACHING is my 1:1 program (choose 3 or 6 month option)Connect with me on Instagram @kristycastillofit and @unfuckyourfitnesspodcast so we can keep this conversation going-be sure to tag me in your posts and stories!Join my FREE Facebook group, Unf*ck Your FitnessClick HERE for my favorite fitness & life things!Send me a text with episode ideas or just to say hi! Support the show

Episode SummaryJoin Adam Coelho for a gentle guided meditation focused on the transformative practice of starting again. This 10-minute meditation guides you through mindful breathing, present moment awareness, and the powerful reminder that no matter how many times your mind wanders, you always have the ability to begin fresh with just one breath.This practice emphasizes self-compassion and the understanding that distraction isn't a failure—it's simply an opportunity to return to the present moment. The meditation concludes with a gratitude practice, inviting you to connect with something you're grateful for and feel that appreciation throughout your body.Perfect for both beginners and experienced meditators looking for a reminder that starting again is always available, anywhere, anytime.What You'll PracticeBreath awareness: Finding your home base in the sensations of breathingNon-judgmental awareness: Meeting your experience with openness, kindness, and curiosityThe art of beginning again: Recognizing when attention has wandered and gently returning to the presentGratitude practice: Cultivating appreciation and letting it infuse your entire beingAccessibility: Understanding that this practice is available with just one mindful breathKey TakeawaysMeditation isn't about never getting distracted—it's about noticing when you've wandered and choosing to come backEach in-breath is a new beginning; each out-breath is a chance to let goThe ability to start again applies not just to meditation, but to life more broadlyWhen you notice your mind has wandered, you're already back—simply choose to begin againGratitude can be a full-body experience that infuses every cellThis practice is accessible anywhere, anytime, with just one conscious breathResources MentionedMindful Fire Envisioning Guide: mindfulfire.org/start - Download this free 10-minute guide to craft a clear and inspiring vision for your life

We love a good strategy here at Entrepreneur School, but what happens when the only plan is to just… wing it?Honestly, this is one of the main reasons I started this show—to have real, unfiltered conversations about what it actually takes to build a business and a family at the same time. And let me tell you, it's never a perfectly executed 5-step plan.Today, I'm talking to Jessica Lamb, host of the Mama Making podcast and founder of Collabs Creative. She's in the thick of it with a young son, and she gets brutally honest about operating without a roadmap, ditching the comparison game, and redefining what success even means.This episode is a permission slip to let your journey be messy. We talk about everything from leveraging ADHD and procrastination to your advantage, to the complicated feelings that come up when your partner is the primary breadwinner.If you've ever felt like you're making it up as you go while everyone else on Instagram has it figured out, this one's for you.You'll learn:How to embrace flexibility as a superpower when your schedule is dictated by sick days and nap times.Why working with your unique brain (procrastination and all) is more effective than forcing someone else's systems.The truth about comparison culture and how to put on “blinders” to stay on your own path, at your own pace.How to redefine your value beyond the dollar amount you bring in (because your contribution is so much more than that).The strategic power of starting small to build a sustainable foundation without burning yourself out.Why your version of success is the only one that matters—whether that's hitting seven figures or making it to the school field trip.

We love a good strategy here at Entrepreneur School, but what happens when the only plan is to just… wing it?Honestly, this is one of the main reasons I started this show—to have real, unfiltered conversations about what it actually takes to build a business and a family at the same time. And let me tell you, it's never a perfectly executed 5-step plan.Today, I'm talking to Jessica Lamb, host of the Mama Making podcast and founder of Collabs Creative. She's in the thick of it with a young son, and she gets brutally honest about operating without a roadmap, ditching the comparison game, and redefining what success even means.This episode is a permission slip to let your journey be messy. We talk about everything from leveraging ADHD and procrastination to your advantage, to the complicated feelings that come up when your partner is the primary breadwinner.If you've ever felt like you're making it up as you go while everyone else on Instagram has it figured out, this one's for you.You'll learn:How to embrace flexibility as a superpower when your schedule is dictated by sick days and nap times.Why working with your unique brain (procrastination and all) is more effective than forcing someone else's systems.The truth about comparison culture and how to put on “blinders” to stay on your own path, at your own pace.How to redefine your value beyond the dollar amount you bring in (because your contribution is so much more than that).The strategic power of starting small to build a sustainable foundation without burning yourself out.Why your version of success is the only one that matters—whether that's hitting seven figures or making it to the school field trip.

In this live episode, Tricia Eastman joins to discuss Seeding Consciousness: Plant Medicine, Ancestral Wisdom, Psychedelic Initiation. She explains why many Indigenous initiatory systems begin with consultation and careful assessment of the person, often using divination and lineage-based diagnostic methods before anyone enters ceremony. Eastman contrasts that with modern frameworks that can move fast, rely on short trainings, or treat the medicine as a stand-alone intervention. Early Themes: Ritual, Preparation, and the Loss of Container Eastman describes her background, including ancestral roots in Mexico and her later work at Crossroads Ibogaine in Mexico, where she supported early ibogaine work with veterans. She frames her broader work as cultural bridging that seeks respect rather than fetishization, and assimilation into modern context rather than appropriation. Early discussion focuses on: Why initiatory traditions emphasize purification, preparation, and long timelines Why consultation matters before any high-intensity medicine work How decades of training shaped traditional initiation roles Why people can get harmed when they treat medicine as plug and play Core Insights: Alchemy, Shadow, and Doing the Work A major throughline is Eastman's critique of the belief that a psychedelic alone will erase trauma. She argues that shadow work remains part of the human condition, and that healing is less about a one-time fix and more about building capacity for relationship with the unconscious. Using alchemical language, she describes "nigredo" as fuel for the creative process, not as something to eliminate forever. Key insights include: Psychedelics are tools, not saviors You cannot outsource responsibility to a pill, a modality, or a facilitator Progress requires practice, discipline, and honest engagement with what arises "Healing" often shows up as obstacles encountered while trying to live and create Later Discussion and Takeaways: Iboga, Ethics, and Biocultural Stewardship Joe and Tricia move into a practical and ethically complex discussion about iboga supply chains, demand pressure, and the risks of amplifying interest without matching it with harm reduction and reciprocity. Eastman emphasizes medical screening, responsible messaging, and supporting Indigenous-led stewardship efforts. She also warns that harm can come from both under-trained modern facilitators and irresponsible people claiming traditional legitimacy. Concrete takeaways include: Treat iboga and ibogaine as high-responsibility work that demands safety protocols Avoid casual marketing that encourages risky self-administration Support Indigenous-led biocultural stewardship and reciprocity efforts Give lineage carriers a meaningful seat at the table in modern policy and clinical conversations Frequently Asked Questions Who is Tricia Eastman? Tricia Eastman is an author, facilitator, and founder of Ancestral Heart. Her work focuses on cultural bridging, initiation frameworks, and Indigenous-led stewardship. What is Seeding Consciousness about? The book examines plant medicine through initiatory traditions, emphasizing consultation, ritual, preparation, and integration rather than reductionistic models. Why does Tricia Eastman critique modern psychedelic models? She argues that many models remove the ritual container and long-form preparation that reduce risk and support deeper integration. Is iboga or ibogaine safe? With the right oversite, yes. Eastman stresses that safety depends on cardiac screening, careful protocols, and experienced oversight. She warns against informal or self-guided use. How can people support reciprocity and stewardship? She encourages donating or supporting Indigenous-led biocultural stewardship initiatives like Ancestral Heart and aligning public messaging with harm reduction. Closing Thoughts This episode makes a clear case that Tricia Eastman Seeding Consciousness is not only a book about psychedelics, but a critique of how the field is developing. Eastman argues that a successful future depends on mature containers, serious safety culture, and respectful partnership with lineage carriers, especially as interest in iboga and ibogaine accelerates. Links https://www.ancestralheart.com https://www.innertraditions.com/author/tricia-eastman Transcript Joe Moore Hello, everybody. Welcome back. Joe Moore with you again from Psychedelics Today, joined today by Tricia Eastman. Tricia, you just wrote a book called Seeding Consciousness. We're going to get into that a bunch today, but how are you today? [00:00:16.07] - Tricia Eastman I'm so good. It's exciting to be live. A lot of the podcasts I do are offline, and so it's like we're being witnessed and feels like just can feel the energy behind It's great. [00:00:31.11] - Joe Moore It's fun. It's a totally different energy than maybe this will come out in four months. This is real, and there's people all over the world watching in real-time. And we'll get some comments. So folks, if you're listening, please leave us some comments. And we'd love to chat a little bit later about those. [00:00:49.23] - Tricia Eastman I'm going to join the chat so that I can see... Wait, I just want to make sure I'm able to see the comments, too. Do I hit join the chat? [00:01:01.17] - Joe Moore Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. I can throw comments on the screen so we can see them together. [00:01:07.02] - Tricia Eastman Cool. [00:01:08.03] - Joe Moore Yeah. So it'll be fun. Give us comments, people. Please, please, please, please. Yeah, you're all good. So Tricia, I want to chat about your book. Tell us high level about your book, and then we're going to start digging into you. [00:01:22.10] - Tricia Eastman So Seeding Consciousness is the title, and I know it's a long subtitled Plant Medicine, Ancestral Wisdom, Psychedelic Initiation. And I felt like it was absolutely necessary for the times that we are in right now. When I was in Gabon in 2018, in one of my many initiations, as as an initiative, the Fung lineage of Buiti, which I've been practicing in for 11 years now, I was given the instructions. I was given the integration homework to write this book. And I would say I don't see that as this divine thing, like you were given the assignment. I think I was given the assignment because it's hard as F to write a book. I mean, it really tests you on so many levels. I mean, even just thinking about putting yourself out there from a legal perspective, and then also, does it make any sense? Will anyone buy it? And on Honestly, it's not me. It's really what I was given to write, but it's based on my experience working with several thousand people over the years. And really, the essence of it is that in our society, we've taken this reductionistic approach in psychedelics, where we've really taken out the ritual. [00:02:54.05] - Tricia Eastman Even now with the FDA trial for MDMA for PTSD. There's even conversations with a lot of companies that are moving forward, psychedelics, through the FDA process, through that pathway, that are talking about taking the therapy out. And the reality is that in these ancient initiatic traditions, they were very long, drawn out experiences with massive purification rituals, massive amounts of different types of practice in order to prepare oneself to meet the medicine. Different plants were taken, like vomatifs and different types of purification rituals were performed. And then you would go into this profound initiatic experience because the people that were working with you that were in, we call it the Nema, who gives initiations, had decades of training and experience doing these types of initiatic experiences. So if you compare that to the modern day framework, we have people that go online and get a certificate and start serving people medicine or do it in a context where maybe there isn't even an established container or facilitator whatsoever. And so really, the idea is, how can we take the essence of this ancient wisdom wisdom, like when you look at initiation, the first step is consultation, which is really going deep into the history of the individual using different types of techniques that are Indigenous technologies, such as different forms of divination, such as cowrie shell readings. [00:04:52.18] - Tricia Eastman And there's different types of specific divinations that are done in different branches of And before one individual would even go into any initiation, you need to understand the person and where they're coming from. So it's really about that breakdown of all of that, and how can we integrate elements of that into a more modern framework. [00:05:24.23] - Joe Moore Brilliant. All right. Well, thank you for that. And let's chat about you. You've got a really interesting past, very dynamic, could even call it multicultural. And you've got a lot of experience that informed this book. So how did this stuff come forward for you? [00:05:50.02] - Tricia Eastman I mean, I've never been the person to seek anything. My family on my mother's side is from Mexico, from Oaxaca, Trique, Mixtec, and Michica. And we had a long lineage of practice going back to my, at least I know from my great, great grandmother, practicing a blend of mestiza, shamanism, combining centerea and Catholicism together. So it's more of like a syncratic mestiza, mestiza being mixed tradition. And so I found it really interesting because later on, when my grandfather came to the United States, he ended up joining the military. And in being in the US, he didn't really have a place. He's very devout spiritual man, but he didn't have a place to practice this blended spiritual tradition. So the mystical aspect of it went behind. And as I started reconnecting to my ancestral lineage, this came forth that I was really starting to understand the mystical aspect of my ancestry. And interestingly, at the same time, was asked to work at Crossroads Abigain in Mexico. And it's so interesting to see that Mexico has been this melting pot and has been the place where Abigain has chosen to plant its roots, so to say, and has treated thousands of veterans. [00:07:36.28] - Tricia Eastman I got to be part of the group of facilitators back over 10 years ago. We treated the first Navy Seals with Abogaine, and that's really spurred a major interest in Abogaine. Now it's in every headline. I also got 10 I got initiated into the Fung lineage of Buiti and have really studied the traditional knowledge. I created a nonprofit back in 2019 called Ancestral Heart, which is really focused on Indigenous-led stewardship. Really, the book helps as a culmination of the decade of real-world experience of combining My husband, Dr. Joseph Barzulia. He's a psychologist. He's also a pretty well-known published researcher in Abigain and 5MEO-DMT, but also deeply spiritual and deeply in respect for the Indigenous traditions that have carried these medicines before us. So we've really been walking this complex path of world bridging between how we establish these relationships and how we bring some of these ancient knowledge systems back into the forefront, but not in a way of fetishizing them, but in a way of deeply respecting them and what we can learn, but from our own assimilation and context versus appropriation. So really, I think the body of my work is around that cultural bridging. [00:09:31.07] - Joe Moore That's brilliant. And yeah, there's some really fun stuff I learned in the book so far that I want to get into later. But next question is, who is your intended audience here? Because this is an interesting book that could hit a few categories, but I'm curious to hear from you. [00:09:49.02] - Tricia Eastman It's so funny because when I wrote the book, I wasn't thinking, oh, what's my marketing plan? What's my pitch? Who's my intended audience? Because it was my homework, and I knew I needed to write the book, and maybe that was problematic in the sense that I had to go to publishers and have a proposal. And then I had to create a formula in hindsight. And I would say the demographic of the book mirrors the demographic of where people are in the psychedelic space, which It's skewed slightly more male, although very female. I think sex isn't necessarily important when we're thinking about the level of trauma and the level of spiritual healing and this huge deficit that we have in mental health, which is really around our disconnection from our true selves, from our heart, from our souls, from this idea of of what Indigenous knowledge systems call us the sacred. It's really more of an attitude of care and presence. I'm sure we could give it a different name so that individuals don't necessarily have any guard up because we have so much negative conditioning related to the American history of religion, which a lot of people have rejected, and some have gone back to. [00:11:37.06] - Tricia Eastman But I think we need to separate it outside of that. I would say the demographic is really this group of I would say anywhere from 30 to 55 male females that are really in this space where maybe they're doing some of the wellness stuff. They're starting to figure some things out, but it's just not getting them there. And when something happens in life, for example, COVID-19 would be a really great example. It knocks them off course, and they just don't have the tools to find that connection. And I would say it even spans across people that do a lot of spiritual practice and maybe are interested in what psychedelics can do in addition to those practices. Because when we look at my view on psychedelics, is they fit within a whole spectrum of wellness and self-care and any lineage of spiritual practice, whether it's yoga or Sufism or Daoist tradition. But they aren't necessarily the thing that... I think there's an over focus on the actual substance itself and putting it on a pedestal that I think is problematic in our society because it goes back to our religious context in the West is primarily exoteric, meaning that we're seeking something outside of ourselves to fulfill ourselves. [00:13:30.29] - Tricia Eastman And so I think that when we look at psychedelic medicines as this exoteric thing versus when we look at initiatory traditions are about inward and direct experience. And all of these spiritual practices and all of these modalities are really designed to pull you back into yourself, into having a direct relationship with yourself and direct experience. And I feel like the minute that you are able to forge that connection, which takes practice and takes discipline, then you don't need to necessarily look at all these other tools outside of yourself. It's like one of my favorite analogies is the staff on the Titanic were moving the furniture around as it was sinking, thinking that they might save the boat from sinking by moving the furniture around. I think that's how we've been with a lot of ego-driven modalities that aren't actually going into the full unconscious, which is where we need to go to have these direct experiences. Sorry for the long answer, but it is for everybody, and it's not just about psychedelics. Anyone can take something from this doing any spiritual work. But we talk a lot about the Indigenous philosophy and how that ties in alongside with spiritual practice and more of this inner way of connecting with oneself and doing the work. [00:15:21.22] - Tricia Eastman And I think also really not sugar coating it in the sense that the psychedelics aren't going to save us. They're not going to cure PTSD. Nothing you take will. It's you that does the work. And if you don't do the work, you're not going to have an 87 % success rate with opioid use disorder or whatever it is, 60 something % for treatment-resistant depression or whatever. It's like you have to do the work. And so we can't keep putting the power in the modality reality or the pill. [00:16:03.18] - Joe Moore Yeah, that makes sense. So you did an interesting thing here with this book, and it was really highlighting aspects of the alchemical process. And people don't necessarily have exposure. They hear the words alchemy. I get my shoulders go up when I hear alchemizing, like transmutation. But it's a thing. And how do we then start communicating this from Jung? I found out an interesting thing recently as an ongoing student. Carl Jung didn't necessarily have access to all that many manuscripts. There's so many alchemical manuscripts available now compared to what he had. And as a result, our understanding of alchemy has really evolved. Western alchemy, European alchemy, everybody. Perhaps Kmetic, too. I don't know. You could speak to that more. I don't keep track of what's revealed in Egypt. So it's really interesting to present that in a forward way? How has it been received so far? Or were you nervous to present this in this way? [00:17:25.10] - Tricia Eastman I mean, honestly, I think the most important The important thing is that in working with several thousand people over the years, people think that taking the psychedelic and the trauma is going to go away. It's always there. I mean, we We archetypically will have the shadow as long as we need the shadow to learn. And so even if we go into a journey and we transcend it, it's still there. So I would say that the The feedback has been really incredible. I mean, the people that are reading... I mean, I think because I'm weaving so many different, complex and deep concepts into one book, it might be a little harder to market. And I think the biggest bummer was that I was really trying to be respectful to my elders and not say anything in the title about Iboga and Abigain, even though I talk a lot about it in the book, and it's such a hot topic, it's really starting to take off. But the people that have read it really consider it. They really do the work. They do the practices in the book, and I'm just getting really profound feedback. So that's exciting to me because really, ultimately, alchemy... [00:18:55.22] - Tricia Eastman Yeah, you're right. It gets used Used a lot in marketing lingo and sitting in the depth of the tar pit. For me, when I was in Gabon, I remember times where I really had to look at things that were so dark in my family history that I didn't even realize were mine until later connected to my lineage. And the dark darkness connected to that and just feeling that and then knowing really the truth of our being is that we aren't those things. We're in this process of changing and being, and so nothing is is fixed, but there is a alchemical essence in just learning to be with it. And so not always can we just be with something. And and have it change, but there are many times that we can actually just be with those parts of ourselves and be accepting, where it's not like you have to have this intellectualized process It's just like, first you have the negrado, then you tune into the albeda, and you receive the insights, and you journal about it, and da, da, da, da, da Action, Mars aspect of it, the rubeda of the process. It's not like that at all. [00:20:44.15] - Tricia Eastman It's really that the wisdom that comes from it because you're essentially digesting black goo, which is metaphoric to the oil that we use to power all of society that's pulled deep out of the Earth, and it becomes gold. It becomes... And really, the way I like to think of it is like, in life, we are here to create, and we are not here to heal ourselves. So if you go to psychedelic medicine and you want to heal yourself, you're going to be in for... You're just going to be stuck and burnt out because that's not what we're here to do as human beings, and you'll never run out of things to heal. But if you You think of the negrado in alchemy as gasoline in your car. Every time you go back in, it's like refilling your gas tank. And whatever you go back in for as you're moving in the journey, it's almost like that bit of negrado is like a lump of coal that's burning in the gas tank. And that gets you to the next point to which there's another thing related to the creative process. So it's like As you're going in that process, you're going to hit these speed bumps and these obstacles in the way. [00:22:07.29] - Tricia Eastman And those obstacles in the way, that's the healing. So if you just get in the car in the human vehicle and you drive and you continue to pull out the shadow material and face it, you're going to keep having the steam, but not just focus on it, having that intention, having that connection to moving forward in life. And I hate to use those words because they sound so growth and expansion oriented, which life isn't always. It's evolutionary and deevolutionary. It's always in spirals. But ultimately, you're in a creative process would be the best way to orient it. So I think when we look at alchemy from that standpoint, then it's productive. Effective. Otherwise, it sounds like some brand of truffle salt or something. [00:23:09.12] - Joe Moore Yeah, I think it's a... If people want to dig in, amazing. It's just a way to describe processes, and it's super informative if you want to go there, but it's not necessary for folks to do the work. And I like how you framed it quite a bit. So let's see. There is one bit, Tricia, that my ears really went up on this one point about a story about Actually, let me do a tangent for you real quick, and then we're going to come back to this story. So are you familiar with the tribe, the Dogon, in Africa? Of course. Yeah. So they're a group that looks as though they were involved in Jewish and/or Egyptian traditions, and then ended up on the far side of like, what, Western Africa, far away, and had their own evolution away from Egypt and the Middle East. Fascinating. Fascinating stories, fascinating astronomy, and much more. I don't know too much about the religion. I love their masks. But this drew an analogy for me, as you were describing that the Buiti often have stories about having lineage to pre-dynastic Egyptian culture. I guess we'll call it that for now, the Kometic culture. [00:24:44.23] - Joe Moore I had not heard that before. Shame on me because I haven't really read any books about Buiti as a religion or organization, or anything to this point. But I found that really interesting to know that now, at least I'm aware of two groups claiming lineage to that ancient world of magic. Can you speak about that at all for us? Yeah. [00:25:09.24] - Tricia Eastman So first off, there really aren't any books talking about that. Some of the things I've learned from elders that I've spoke with and asked in different lineages in Masoco and in Fong Buiti, there's a few things. One, We lived in many different eras. Even if you go into ancient texts of different religions, creation stories, and biblical stories, they talk about these great floods that wiped out the planet. One of the things that Atum talks about, who is one of my Buiti fathers who passed a couple years ago, is Is the understanding that before we were in these different areas, you had Mu or Lumaria, you had Atlantis, and then you had our current timeline. And the way that consciousness was within those timelines was very different and the way the Earth was. You had a whole another continent called Atlantis that many people, even Plato, talks about a very specific location of. And what happened, I believe during that time period, Africa, at least the Saharan band of the desert was much more lush, and it was a cultural melting pot. So if you think about, for example, the Pygmy tribes, which are in Equatorial Africa, they are the ones that introduced Iboga to the Buiti. [00:27:08.08] - Tricia Eastman If you look at the history of ancient Egypt, what I'm told is that the Pygmies lived in Pharaonic Egypt, all the way up until Pharaonic Egypt. And there was a village. And if you look on the map in Egypt, you see a town called Bawiti, B-A-W-I-T-I. And that is the village where they lived. And I have an interesting hypothesis that the God Bess, if you look at what he's wearing, it's the exact same to a T as what the Pygmies wear. And the inspiration for which a lot of the Buiti, because they use the same symbology, because each part of the outfit, whether it's the Mocingi, which is like this animal skin, or the different feathers, they use the parrot feather as a symbology of speech and communication, all of these things are codes within the ceremony that were passed along. And so when you look at Bess, he's wearing almost the exact same outfit that the Pygmies are wearing and very similar to if you see pictures of the ceremonies of Misoko or Gonde Misoko, which I would say is one of the branches of several branches, but that are closer to the original way of Buiti of the jungle, so closer to the way the Pygmies practice. [00:28:59.16] - Tricia Eastman So If you look at Bess, just to back my hypothesis. So you look at Neteru. Neteru were the... They called them the gods of Egypt, and they were all giant. And many say the word nature actually means nature, but they really represented the divine qualities of nature. There's best. Look at him. And a lot of the historians said he's the God of Harmeline and children and happiness. I think he's more than the God of Harmeline, and I think that the Pygmies worked with many different plants and medicines, and really the ultimate aspect of it was freedom. If you think about liberation, like the libation, number one, that's drunkiness. Number two, liberation, you of freeing the joyous child from within, our true nature of who we are. You look at every temple in Egypt, and you look at these giant statues, and then you have this tiny little pygmy God, and there's no other gods that are like Bess. He's one of a kind. He's in his own category. You've You've got giant Hathor, you've got giant Thoth, you've got giant Osiris, Isis, and then you've got little tiny Bess. And so I think it backs this hypothesis. [00:30:48.27] - Tricia Eastman And my understanding from practitioners of Dogon tradition is that they also believe that their ancestors came from Egypt, and they definitely have a lot of similarity in the teachings that I've seen and been exposed to just from here. I mean, you can... There's some more modern groups, and who's to know, really, the validity of all of it. But there are some, even on YouTube, where you can see there's some more modern Dogon temples that are talking in English or English translation about the teachings, and they definitely line up with Kamehdi teachings. And so my hypothesis around that is that the Dogon are probably most likely pygmy descendants as, And the pygmy were basically run out of Bawiti because there was jealousy with the priest, because there was competition, because all of the offerings that were being made in the temple, there was a lot of power, connected to each of the temples. And there was competitiveness even amongst the different temples, lining the Nile and all of that, of who was getting the most offerings and who was getting the most visits. And so the Pygmies essentially were run out, and they migrated, some of them migrated south to Gabon and Equatorial Africa. [00:32:43.07] - Tricia Eastman And then If you think about the physical changes that happened during these planetary catastrophes, which we know that there had been more than one based on many historical books. So that whole area went through a desertification process, and the Equatorial rainforest remained. So it's highly likely even that Iboga, at one point, grew in that region as well. [00:33:18.00] - Joe Moore Have you ever seen evidence of artwork depicting Iboga there in Egypt? [00:33:24.17] - Tricia Eastman There are several different death temples. I'm trying to remember the name of the exact one that I went to, but on the columns, it looked like Iboga trees that were carved into the columns. And I think what's interesting about this... So Seychet is the divine scribe, the scribe of Egyptian wisdom. And she was basically, essentially the sidekick of Thoth. Thoth was who brought a lot of the ancient wisdom and people like Pythagoras and many of the ancient philosophers in Roman times went and studied in a lot of these Thoth lineage mystery schools. When you look at the the river of the Nile on the east side, east is the energy liturgy of initiation. It's always like if you go into a sweat lodge or if you see an ancient temple, usually the doorway is facing the east. West is where the sun sets, and so that's the death. And what's interesting about that is that it was on the west side in the death temple that you would see these aboga plants. But also Seixat was the one who was the main goddess depicted in the hieroglyphs, and there was other hieroglyphs. I mean, if you look at the hieroglyphs of Seixat, it looks like she has a cannabis leaf above her head, and a lot of people have hypothesized that, that it's cannabis. [00:35:16.03] - Tricia Eastman Of course, historians argue about that. And then she's also carrying a little vessel that looks like it has some mushrooms in it. And obviously, she has blue Lotus. Why would she be carrying around blue Lotus and mushrooms? I don't know. It sounds like some initiation. [00:35:36.19] - Joe Moore Yeah, I love that. Well, thanks so much for going there with me. This photo of Seixet. There's some good animations, but everybody just go look at the temple carvings picturing this goddess. It's stunning. And obviously, cannabis. I think it's hard to argue not. I've seen all these like, mushroom, quote, unquote, mushroom things everywhere. I'm like, Yeah, maybe. But this is like, Yes, that's clear. [00:36:06.27] - Tricia Eastman And if you look at what she's wearing, it's the exact same outfit as Bess, which is classic Basically, how the medicine woman or medicine man or what you would call shaman, the outfit that the healers would wear, the shamans or the oracles, those of the auracular arts, different forms of divination would wear. So if you really follow that and you see, Oh, what's Isis wearing? What's Hathor wearing? What's Thoth wearing? You can tell she's very specifically the healer. And it's interesting because they call her the divine scribe. So she's actually downloading, my guess is she's taking plants and downloading from the primordial. [00:37:02.00] - Joe Moore Well, okay. Thanks for bringing that up. That was a lovely part of your book, was your... There's a big initiation sequence, and then you got to go to this place where you could learn many things. Could you speak to that a little bit? And I hope that's an okay one to bring up. [00:37:22.22] - Tricia Eastman Are you talking about the time that I was in initiation and I went to the different ashrams, the different realms in, like Yogananda calls them astral schools that you go and you just download? It seemed like astral schools, but it seemed like it was a Bwiti initiation, where you were in silence for three days, and then Yeah, that one. So there were several different... I mean, I've done seven official initiations, and then I've had many other initiatic experiences. And I would say this one was incredible. Incredibly profound because what it showed me first was that all of the masters of the planet, it was showing me everyone from Kurt Cobain to Bob Marley to Einstein, all the people that had some special connection to an intelligence that was otherworldly, that they were essentially going to the same place, like they were visiting the same place, and they would go. And so the first thing I noticed was that I recognized a lot of people, and current, I'm not going I don't want to say names of people, but I recognize people that are alive today that I would say are profound thinkers that were going to these places as well. [00:38:57.05] - Tricia Eastman And interestingly, then I was taken into one of the classrooms, and in the classroom, this one, specifically, it showed me that you could download any knowledge instantaneously That essentially, having a connection to that school allowed you to download music or understand very complex ideas ideas of mathematics or physics or science that would take people like lifetimes to understand. So it was essentially showing this. And a lot of people might discredit that, that that might be a specific... That we as humans can do that. Well, I'm not saying that it's not that. I don't I don't want to say that it's anything. But what I can say is that I have definitely noticed the level of access that I have within my consciousness. And also what I notice with the masters of Bwiti, specifically in terms of the level of intelligence that they're accessing and that it's different. It's got a different quality to it. And so it was a really profound teaching. And one of the things, too, that I've learned is I use it to help me learn specific things. I don't know if I can give a positive testimonial, but I am learning French. [00:40:55.00] - Tricia Eastman And I noticed when I was in Aspen at the Abigain meeting, and I was with Mubeiboual, who speaks French, I started saying things French that I didn't even realize that I knew to say. I've had these weird moments where I'm actually using this tool And I'm also using it. I have a Gabonese harp. I don't know if you can see it up on the shelf over there. But I also went and asked for some help with downloading some assistance in the harp, then we'll see how that goes. [00:41:38.17] - Joe Moore Yeah. So that's brilliant. I'm thinking of other precedent for that outside of this context, and I can think of a handful. So I love that, like savant syndrome. And then there's a classic text called Ars Notoria that helps accelerate learning, allegedly. And then there's a number of other really interesting things that can help us gain these bits of wisdom and knowledge. And it does feel a little bit like the Dogon. The story I get is the receiving messages from the dog star, and therefore have all sorts of advanced information that they shouldn't we call it. Yeah. Yeah, which is fascinating. We have that worldwide. I think there's plenty of really interesting stuff here. So what I appreciated, Tricia, about how you're structuring your book, or you did structure your book, is that it it seems at the same time, a memoir, on another hand, workbook, like here are some exercises. On the other hand, like here's some things you might try in session. I really appreciated that. It was like people try to get really complicated when we talk about things like IFS. I'm like, well, you don't necessarily have to. You could. Or is this just a human thing, a human way to look at working with our parts? [00:43:20.15] - Joe Moore I don't know. Do you have any thoughts about the way you were approaching this parts work in your book versus how complicated some people make it feel? [00:43:30.00] - Tricia Eastman Yeah. I find that this is just my personal opinion, and no way to discredit Richard Schwartz's work. But parts work has existed in shamanism since forever. When we really look at even in ancient Egypt, Issus, she put Osiris act together. That was the metaphorical story of soul retrieval, which is really the spiritual journey of us reclaiming these pieces of ourselves that we've been disconnected from a society level or individually. And within the context of parts work, it's very organic and it feels other worldly. It's not like there's ever a force where I'm in the process with someone. And a lot of times I would even go into the process with people because they weren't accustomed to how to work with Iboga or game, and so they would be stuck. And then the minute I was like, you know, Iboga, in the tradition, it's really about... It's like the game Marco Polo. It's call and response. And so you're really an active participant, and you're supposed to engage with the spirits. And so the minute that things would show up, it'd be more about like, oh, what do you see? What's coming up here? Asking questions about it, being curious. [00:45:17.07] - Tricia Eastman If you could engage with it, sometimes there's processes where you can't really engage with things at all. So everything that I'm talking about is It was organically shown up as an active engagement process that it wasn't like we were going in. There have been some where you can guide a little bit, but you never push. It might be something like, go to your house, and it being completely unattached. And if they can't go there, then obviously the psyche doesn't want to go there, but it's really an exercise to help them to connect to their soul. And then in contrast, IFS is like, let's work on these different parts and identify these different parts of ourselves. But then let's give them fixed titles, and let's continually in a non-altered state of consciousness, not when we're meditating, not when we're actively in a state where we have the plasticity to change the pathway in the unconscious mind, but we're working in the egoic mind, and we're talking to these parts of ourselves. That could be helpful in the day-to-day struggles. Let's say you have someone who has a lot of rumination or a very active mind to have something to do with that. [00:46:57.01] - Tricia Eastman But that's not going to be the end-all, be-all solution to their problem. It's only moving the deck chairs around on the Titanic because you're still working in the framework where, I'm sorry, the Titanic is still sinking, and it may or may not be enough. It may or may not produce a reliable outcome that could be connected with some level of true relief and true connection within oneself. And so I think that people just... I feel like they almost get a little too... And maybe it's because we're so isolated and lonely, it's like, Oh, now I've got parts. I'm not by myself. I've got my fire I've got my firefighter, and I've got my guardian, and all these things. And I definitely think that IFS is a really great initiator into the idea of engaging with parts of ourselves and how to talk to them. But I don't think it's... And I think doing a session here and there, for some people, can be incredibly helpful, but to all of a sudden incorporate it in like a dogma is toxic. It's dangerous. And that's what we have to be really careful of. [00:48:23.25] - Joe Moore So thank you for that. There's a complicated discussion happening at the Aspen meeting. I think I was only sitting maybe 30 feet away from you. Sorry, I didn't say hi. But the folks from Blessings of the Forest were there, and I got a chance to chat with a number of them and learn more about nuclear protocols, biopiracy, literal piracy, and smuggling, and the works. I'm curious. This is a really complicated question, and I'm sorry for a complicated question this far in. But it's like, as we talk about this stuff publicly and give it increased profile, we are de facto giving more juice and energy to black markets to pirate. We're adding fuel to this engine that we don't necessarily want to see. Cameroon has nothing left, pretty much. From what I'm told, people from Cameroon are coming in, stealing it from Cabona, bringing it back, and then shipping it out. And there's It's like a whole worldwide market for this stuff. I witnessed it. This stuff. Yeah, right? This is real. So the people, the Buiti, and certain Gabanese farmers, are now being pirated. And international demand does not care necessarily about Nagoya compliance. United States didn't sign Nagoya protocol for this biopiracy protection, but we're not the only violator of these ethics, right? [00:50:00.22] - Joe Moore It's everywhere. So how do we balance thinking about talking about IBOCA publicly, given that there's no clean way to get this stuff in the United States that is probably not pirated materials? And as far as I know, there's only one, quote unquote, Nagoya compliant place. I've heard stories that I haven't shared publicly yet, that there's other groups that are compliant, too. But it's a really interesting conversation, and I'm curious of your perspectives there. [00:50:34.04] - Tricia Eastman I mean, this is a very long, drawn-out question, so forgive me if I give you a long, drawn-out answer. [00:50:41.01] - Joe Moore Go for it. [00:50:41.26] - Tricia Eastman It's all good. So in reality, I do believe... You know the first Ebo, Abogaine, that was done in the country was experiments on eight Black prisoners at a hospital under the MK program. [00:51:01.16] - Joe Moore Pre-lutz off, we were doing Abogaine tests on people. [00:51:06.00] - Tricia Eastman Yeah, so pre-Lutz off. I have a hypothesis, although a lot of people would already know me. [00:51:12.07] - Joe Moore No, I didn't know that. Thank you for sharing that with me. [00:51:14.13] - Tricia Eastman That's great. I'll send you some stuff on that. But the Aboga wanted to be here. The Abogaine wanted to be here. I think it's a complex question because on one side of the coin, you have the spirit of plants, which are wild and crazy sometimes. And then you have the initiatory traditions, which create a scaffolding to essentially put the lightning in a bottle, so to say, so that it's less damaging. [00:51:51.13] - Joe Moore It's almost like a temple structure around it. [00:51:53.16] - Tricia Eastman I like that. Yeah. Put a temple structure around it because it's like, yeah, you can work with new nuclear energy, but you have to wear gloves, you have to do all these different safety precautions. I would say that that's why these traditions go hand in hand with the medicine. So some people might say that the agenda of Iboga and even Abogaine might be a different agenda than the Buiti. And ultimately, whether we are Indigenous or not, the Earth belongs to everyone. It's capitalism and the patriarchy that created all these borders and all these separations between people. And in reality, we still have to acknowledge what the essence of Buiti is, which is really the cause and effect relationship that we have with everything that we do. And so some people might use the term karma. And that is if you're in Abogaine clinic and you're putting a bunch of videos out online, and that's spurring a trend on TikTok, which we already know is a big thing where people are selling illegal market, iBoga, is Is any of that your responsibility? Yes. And if I was to sit down with a kogi kagaba, which are the mamus from Colombia, or if I were to sit down with a who said, Hey, let's do a divination, and let's ask some deep questions about this. [00:53:54.01] - Tricia Eastman It would look at things on a bigger perspective than just like, Oh, this person is completely responsible for this. But when we're talking about a medicine that is so intense, and when I was younger, when I first met the medicine, I first was introduced in 2013 was when I first found out about Abigain and Iboga. And in 2014, I lived with someone who lived with a 14th generation Misoko, maybe it was 10th generation Misoco in Costa Rica. And then he decided to just start serving people medicine. And he left this person paralyzed, one person that he treated for the rest of his life. And Aubrey Marcus, it was his business partner for On It, and he's publicly talked about this, about the story behind this. If you go into his older podcasts and blog posts and stuff, he talks about the situation. And the reality is that this medicine requires a massive amount of responsibility. It has crazy interactions, such as grapefruit juice, for example, and all kinds of other things. And so it's not just the responsibility towards the buiti, it's also the responsibility of, does me talking about this without really talking about the safety and the risks, encourage other people. [00:55:49.10] - Tricia Eastman One of the big problems, back in the day, I went to my first guita conference, Global Abogaine Therapy Alliance in 2016. And And then, ISEARs was debating because there was all these people buying Abogaine online and self-detoxing and literally either dying or ending up in the hospital. And they're like, should we release protocols and just give people instructions on how to do this themselves? And I was like, no, absolutely not. We need to really look at the fact that this is an initiatory tradition, that it's been practiced for thousands of that the minimum level at which a person is administering in Gabon is 10 years of training. The way that we've made up for those mistakes, or sorry, not mistakes, lack of training is that we've used medical oversight. Most of the medical oversight that we've received has been a result of mistakes that were made in the space. The first patient that MAPS treated, they killed them because they gave them way over the amount of what milligrams per kilogram of Abigain that you should give somebody. Every single mistake that was made, which a lot of them related to loss of life, became the global Abogane Therapy Safety Guidelines. [00:57:28.19] - Tricia Eastman And so we've already learned from our mistakes here. And so I think it's really important that we understand that there's that aspect, which is really the blood on our hands of if we're not responsible, if we're encouraging people to do this, and we're talking about it in a casual way on Instagram. Like, yeah, microdosing. Well, did you know there was a guy prosecuted this last year, personal trainer, who killed someone And from microdosing in Colorado, the event happened in 2020, but he just got sentenced early 2025. These are examples that we need to look at as a collective that we need. So that's one side of it. And then the other side of it is the reciprocity piece. And the reciprocity piece related to that is, again, the cause and effect. Is A Abogaine clinic talking about doing Abogaine and doing video testimonials, spurring the efforts that are actively being made in Gabon to protect the cultural lineage and to protect the medicine. The reality is every Abogaine clinic is booked out for... I heard the next year, I don't know if that's fact or fiction, but someone told me for a year, because because of all the stuff with all the celebrities that are now talking about it. [00:59:05.20] - Tricia Eastman And then on top of that, you have all these policy, all these different advocacy groups that are talking about it. Essentially, it's not going to be seven... It's going to be, I would say, seven to 10 years before something gets through the FDA. We haven't even done a phase one safety trial for any of the Abigain that's being commercialized. And even if there's some magic that happens within the Trump administration in the next two years that changes the rules to fast track it, it's not going to cut it down probably more than a year. So then you're looking at maybe six years minimum. That whole time, all that strain is being put on Gabon. And so if you're not supporting Gabon, what's happening is it's losing a battle because the movement is gaining momentum, and Gabon cannot keep up with that momentum. It's a tiny country the size of Colorado. So my belief is that anyone who's benefiting from all the hype around Iboga and Abogayne or personally benefited with healing within themselves should be giving back, either to Ancestral Heart, to Blessings of the Forest, to any group that is doing authentic Indigenous-led biocultural stewardship work. [01:00:45.21] - Joe Moore Thanks for that. It's important that we get into some detail here. I wish we had more time to go further on it. [01:00:54.17] - Tricia Eastman I'll do a quick joke. I know. I have a lot. [01:00:57.17] - Joe Moore Yes. Now do Mike Tyson. Kidding. Yeah. So what did we maybe miss that you want to make sure people hear about your book, any biocultural stuff that you want to get out there? You can go for a few more minutes, too, if you have a few things you want to say. [01:01:20.03] - Tricia Eastman I mean, really, thank you so much for this opportunity. Thank you for caring and being so passionate about the context related to Buiti, which I think is so important. I would just say that I've been working with this medicine for... I've known about it for 13 years, and I've been working with it for 11 years, and this is my life. I've devoted my life to this work, me and my husband, both. And there isn't anything greater of a blessing that it has brought in our life, but it also is it's a very saturnian energy, so it brings chaos. It brings the deepest challenges and forces you to face things that you need to face. But also on the other side of the coin, everything that I've devoted and given back in service to this work has exponentially brought blessing in my life. So again, I see the issue with people doing these shortened processes, whether it's in an Abigain clinic where you just don't have the ritualistic sacred aspects of an initiatic context and really the rituals that really help integrate and ground the medicine. But you still have this opportunity to continue to receive the blessings. [01:03:09.23] - Tricia Eastman And I really feel in our current psychedelic movement, we essentially have a Bugatti. These medicines are the most finely-tuned sports car that can do every... Even more than that, more like a spaceship. We have this incredible tool, but we're driving it in first gear. We don't even really know how to operate it. It's like, well, I guess you could say flight of the Navigator, but that was a self-driving thing, and I guess, psychedelics are self-driving. But I feel that we are discounting ourselves so greatly by not looking into our past of how these medicines were used. I really think the biggest piece around that is consulting the genuine lineage carriers like Buiti elders, like Mubu Bwal, who's the head of Maganga Manan Zembe, And giving them a seat at the head of the table, really, because there's so much I know in my tradition, about what we do to bring cardiac safety. And why is it that people aren't dying as much in Gabon as they're dying in Abigan clinics. [01:04:37.28] - Joe Moore Shots fired. All right. I like it. Thank you. Thank you for everything you've done here today, I think harm reduction is incredibly important. Let's stop people dying out there. Let's do some harm reduction language. I actually was able to sweet talk my way into getting a really cool EKG recently, which I thought really great about. If you can speak clinician, you can go a long way sometimes. [01:05:11.20] - Tricia Eastman Yeah. Oh, no, go ahead. Sorry. [01:05:15.17] - Joe Moore No, that's all. That's all. So harm reduction is important. How do we keep people safe? How do we keep healing people? And thank you for all your hard work. [01:05:27.22] - Tricia Eastman Thank you. I really appreciate it. We're all figuring it out. No one's perfect. So I'm not trying to fire any shots at anybody. I'm just like, Guys, please listen. We need to get in right relationship with the medicine. And we need to include these stakeholders. And on the other side of the coin, I just want to add that there's a lot of irresponsible, claimed traditional practitioners that are running retreat centers in Mexico and Costa Rica and other places that are also causing a lot of harm, too. So the medical monitoring is definitely, if you're going to do anything, Because these people don't have the training, the worst thing you could do is not have someone going in blind that doesn't have training and not have had an EKG and all that stuff. But we've got a long way to go, and I'm excited to help support in a productive way, all coming together. And that's what me and Joseph have been devoted to. [01:06:45.02] - Joe Moore Brilliant. Tricia Eastman, thank you so much. Everybody should go check out your book Seeding Consciousness out now. The audiobook's lovely, too. Thank you so much for being here. And until next time. [01:07:00.14] - Tricia Eastman Thank you.    

Honestly, our thoughts and feelings can be wrong, mistaken and misled. Let us be warned about what we think and how we feel when it comes to what God has said.

Honestly, I Think We Just Need Jesus!Acts 2:40 “And he testified with many other words and exhorted them, saying, 'Save yourselves from this crooked generation.”I chose this episode to replay for you today for two reasons. The first is because if you are listening to this on the day I released it, then we celebrate Jesus' coming into the world in just four days, and we need Jesus more than ever! The second is because there was a loss in our family last Thursday, and so many people are hurting, and they just need Jesus right now to help them through it.  There is a song that I have heard on the radio more and more recently, and these last few days, it has been running repeatedly in my mind. I can't seem to get it out of my head. I am not sure I want to get it out of my head, as the words that are running through my head are. Honestly, I think we need Jesus by Terrian. Since I can't seem to shake this song, and then I read the verse above this morning, I think the Lord wants me to share it with you. I will place a link for the song in the show notes, as she does a much better job singing it than I do. I also love that she is young and yet can still see that we need more Jesus. I will go over the lyrics of the song with you today.The song starts with:I got a front-row seat to the madnessI pick up my phone every mornin' out of habitI've been fiendin' for the drama, yeah, I said itI'm addicted to the rush, need a medicHow many of us pick up our phones or turn on the news first thing when we wake up? How many of us want to know what is going on in the world before we even stop and spend our time with God? I use my phone for an alarm, so I would turn off my alarm, and then I would check my messages, emails, and Facebook before I would sit down with the Lord and spend time with Him. I have gotten better; now, I just check my messages, mostly to make sure my kids got home safely. Sometimes I still check my emails, but I am getting better and usually save that for later.I love how the songwriter points out that we usually pick up our phones out of habit. This isn't just the first thing in the morning. We do this all throughout the day. I bet we all spend more time than we would like on our phones. I also like how they bring our attention to the fact that we are “Fiendin' for the drama” and “addicted to the rush.” It seems we are drawn to the conflict and the drama more than the good things that are happening. I don't know if that is because we crave drama or because that is all the news tends to show us. Either way, there is good and bad going on in the world, and it is up to us to choose which we seek out and focus on.The song goes on to say:When I take a step back, I can see itAll the pain, all the fear we've been feelin'Losin' sight of the thing that we're needin'That we're needin' This is a great reminder that sometimes we need to take a step back. When we do, we see that we are focusing on all of our pain and fear that we are feeling instead of focusing on the one who can take all that pain and fear away. When we watch the news or listen to all that is going on in the world, we tend to get overwhelmed. We can also start to feel a sense of hopelessness. We can feel a sense that the world is going crazy, and there is nothing we can do about it. However, we are never hopeless because we are children of God, and we can always turn to Him, and He can save us. There is nothing too hard for God to handle.Next, the song says:Honestly, I think we just need JesusHonestly, I think we just need JesusHave we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds?What used to be wrong, we say that it's rightHonestly, I think we just need Jesus This is the part that gets stuck in my head. I can't think of a truer statement. I can see how our country is falling apart because we keep removing God from more and more things. This country was founded with God. He was a part of the government; yes, Church and State were separate, and yet God and State weren't. God was invited into the Constitution; he was invited into the pledge of allegiance. He was invited into our courtrooms. God was welcome everywhere. Now, it seems He is welcome nowhere.I also love how the song says, “Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds? What used to be wrong, we say that it's right.” We have all thought this for a long time now, and it is nice to hear it in a song, so we know we aren't the only ones who think it. This world does seem to have gone mad, and it does seem like we are all losing our minds. Some of the things that seem to be ok in the world today still shock me.  I think this song points out very real and honest questions. Have we all gone mad? Have we all lost our minds? Take a good, long look in the mirrorSearch my heart and soul, make it clearerHelp me take your love, trade the bitterLeave it in the dust, help me leave it in the dust, Lord I think it would be a great idea if we all stopped and took a good look in the mirror. What are we doing? Not what is the world doing, but what are we doing? Are we staying true to God in this crazy world? Are we staying above all the drama and walking in the light of Christ? Are we showing love and hope to everyone we meet? We are all called to be “little Christs” to all we meet. Are we doing so? Are we loving everyone, even those who aren't like us? Even those who aren't living their lives the way we think they should? Even those whom we don't like. God said to love our enemies. Are we doing that?The next line says, “Search my heart and soul, make it clearer.” Do we want God to search our hearts and souls? What would He find? I do like how it says to make it clearer. With all that is going on in this world, and all this world says is ok, the water we wade into can get muddy. I don't think the world makes it easy or clear how we should live our lives. We need to focus on God and ask God to help make it clear to us what He wants from us and how He wants us to live.It also says, “Help me take your love, trade the bitter. Leave it in the dust, help me leave it in the dust, Lord.” It can be easy to become bitter. We live in a broken world, and people offend us all the time. Things aren't fair, and sometimes good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. This can make us bitter. We need God to come in and replace our bitterness with His love. We need His help to walk away from the bitter and leave it in the dust.  We've been preachin', we've been drinkin' in the vanity (in the vanity)Now it's got us questionin' our sanity (sanity)And we wonder how we get all this anxietyIt's clear to me Yep, I think we have all probably questioned our sanity at some point over the last few years. I definitely think there is a lot of vanity in this day and age as well. With everyone having phones and taking photos every moment of every day, we have become obsessed with how we look and what we have. We want to make sure our life looks as good online as everyone else's life does. This leads us to do and say things that aren't always true. We act online like our lives are perfect, and yet so many of our children and adults are hurting inside, but don't reach out and get help because everyone else seems like they are doing so well. This definitely makes us question our sanity because our lives are falling apart, and everyone else seems to have it all together. I love the line that says, “And we wonder how we get all this anxiety.” Exactly!! All of the things I just talked about, along with the news, the decline of our country, and the division in our country, we wonder why everyone is so anxious.After the song repeats the chorus about us just needing Jesus, it goes on to say:We turn away (we turn away)We're running back to you (oh-oh)Covered in grace (covered in grace)God, You can make us new (make us new) Yes! We are like a revolving door. We turn away from the Lord and then turn back to Him, then we turn away, and then we turn back. I love how the author of this song understands that even when we do this, we are covered in grace. God will always accept us back in. He is not angry with us that we have turned away. He is happy that we have turned back. God is always there with open arms, waiting for us to turn back to Him. God is the only one who can make us new. We may think we have done too much, we have really messed up this time, and there is no hope for us. There is always hope in the Lord. He can make us new, He can make our country new, He can make our world new. We just have to invite Him in and ask Him.The song ends by repeating the chorus. I will leave you with those words.Honestly, we need, we need You, Jesus (we need You, oh)Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds?What used to be wrong, we say that it's rightHonestly, we need, we need You, JesusOh, Jesus, Jesus, JesusWe need You, Jesus, JesusOh, JesusJesus, Jesus (we're running back)(We're running back to You) JesusWe're runnin' back to You, oh (Jesus)Yeah, Jesus, JesusMake us new Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today. Lord, we love you, and we are sorry we turned away; please help us to turn back. We are sorry our country is falling apart. Please show us how we can help to bring you back into our country. Please put in our hearts what you are calling us to do. Please help us to stop searching for the drama and start searching for you. Help us to be your love and light to others instead of spreading the drama and the worry. We love you, Lord, and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus's holy name, Amen!Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. I would like to ask a favor. I have been talking about my mentoring program for a while now. It is on Tuesday nights at 8 PM EST on Zoom, and I record it, so if you aren't able to make it live, you can watch the recording. Maybe mentoring is not for you, and yet you may know someone who might benefit from it. My favor is that you pass the information along to them. I have put a link in the show notes. You could just copy it and then paste it into a text message or email. Also, you could just direct them to the walkboldlywithjesus.com website, and the link is right on that first page. If you would like to join mentoring, but just don't have the $30 per month, please reach out to me. I don't want a lack of money to hinder the ability to grow closer to the Lord. I look forward to meeting you here again tomorrow. Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I! Have a blessed day.Today's Word from the Lord was received in July 2025 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email CatholicCharismaticPrayerGroup@gmail.com. Today's Word from the Lord is, “My spirit burns deeply within each of you, my children. It burns away the things that you no longer desire to have because you know me and you know my love. And it fires up the gifts and the graces that I give you so that you become a lamp, a light to those around you.” www.findingtruenorthcoaching.comCLICK HERE TO DONATECLICK HERE to sign up for Mentoring CLICK HERE to sign up for Daily "Word from the Lord" emailsCLICK HERE to sign up for my newsletter & receive a free audio training about inviting Jesus into your daily lifeCLICK HERE to buy my book Total Trust in God's Safe Embrace

Elf on a Shelf: Part 1 Her stalker wasn't who she thought he was; Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Honey smiled at the long line of children waiting to see Santa, flipping her phone from Google Translate back to see the information of the next little girl in line, who was looking up at her somberly with large liquid brown eyes. In her small face was a familiar mixture of fear and hope. Wonder; it was wonder in her eyes, Honey thought. Unlike the tired and jaded adults, dutifully shifting their weight from foot to foot, holding overstuffed shopping bags and all the coats of their kids as they distracted themselves on their phones, the children got more and more excited as they drew near the man in the furry red suit with white trim. Honey loved working with the children; because like them, she sometimes could still see the magic. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Norman shift uncomfortably in the painted plywood throne made for him to sit with the children and discuss their good behavior and of the wishes that they hoped would come true. Even at age 62, Norman still saw the magic with his merry bright blue eyes, but it faded when his prostate pained him. When the photographer got the shot the parent wanted, Honey walked to where most of the long line could see her as Norman flashed her a look of worshipful gratitude. The adults' faces immediately fell, knowing what was coming. "I'm afraid Santa needs to take a quick break because apparently the reindeer have begun arguing again!" Norman put his gloved hands up to his real beard, pulled a comically dismayed face, jumped up from his throne, and ran off toward the restrooms. Honey shook her head mournfully and continued, "The reindeer were all practicing their Christmas carols when Comet and Cupid couldn't decide how many times Santa checks his list in Santa Claus is Coming to Town! Does anyone here remember how it goes?" she asked, scanning the line for people game enough to help. Honey scampered back and forth along the line trying to choose among the eager volunteers, her white-trimmed, pink fur skirt flaring out around her thighs, her long legs clad in sparkly curly-toed ruby slippers and candy cane swirl stockings catching the eyes of several fathers. Suddenly, she gasped listening carefully to her headset, "Nina?" she called out. "Comet and Cupid say they will only stop arguing if 'Nina' gives the answer. Is there a 'Nina' here today? Nina?" Honey looked around at the crowd carefully until the little girl with the big brown eyes, who had been quietly waiting 57 minutes in line, gathered the courage to raise her hand. "Oh! Are you Nina?" she asked, running over and crouching down near the girl. "We just adopted her; she only speaks Portuguese," the weary woman holding her hand said quietly. Honey gasped and smiled widely, "Voc fala portugu s Nina? Maravilhosa!" she said, watching the little girl's eyes brighten excitedly. "Voc pode me dizer quantas vezes o Papai Noel verifica sua lista?" she asked, holding her microphone out to the little girl. "Duas vezes!" Nina said confidently into the mic. Honey listened carefully to her headset, concentrating, "'Duas vezes' it is! They've stopped arguing!" she announced. "But now, they want us all to sing the song in Portuguese! Nina, voc vai me ajudar a ensin -los a m sica?" she asked. Nina nodded and slowly she and Honey taught the familiar song to the crowd in a new language. As always, a hush came on the crowd when Honey began to sing. Heads raised up from forgotten phones. Vague smiles drifted onto the turning heads of passers-by in the mall as they paused in their frenetic search for gifts. It wasn't so much that Honey's voice was beautiful, though it certainly was. It was more that when Honey sang, it seemed to make the things that didn't really matter melt away. To those that believed in such things, Honey's voice was magic. When she sang, people held their breath and didn't even miss the air. Honey closed her eyes as she sang next to Nina. It was a newly acquired habit. Though she had been taught to let her eyes slowly drift over the audience, letting them make a connection with each person as she sang, she didn't do that anymore. She knew he was out there. She felt his presence frequently as she worked, but it was only when she sang that he came out into the open. She couldn't hold her voice steady when she saw him watching her, so she closed her eyes and let the magic continue for the crowd. When the song ended, Honey opened her eyes as the crowd cheered, finding his powerful form immediately as if she had been commanded to look at him. Zach. He had changed a lot in the year since he brought his sister's children through the long Santa line, drawing her almost too-large dark blue eyes to him then, as easily as he did now. After bringing his nieces and nephews through the line, he'd gone home and brought all his neighbors' kids to see Santa in five more trips, watching her the entire time. He looked at her as if he'd never seen anything like her in the world, like he couldn't believe she was real. She had loved feeling his eyes on her then, hearing his voice. She had wanted to climb up in his lap, feel his large arms curled around her, whisper to him about how good she had been that year, and of how much she hoped he would make her wishes come true. Of course, all that was before he'd told her he wanted to kill her. Zach's face looked leaner now, though his body seemed even larger, if such a thing was possible. His brooding, deep-set eyes were not merry, as they had been when children climbed his tree-like body in her line last year. They weren't nervously soft and adoring of every part of her, as they had been at their candle-lit dinner. His eyes weren't rageful or insane as you might expect from someone visiting their object of murderous hate, but rather; they were tortured, trapped. Pain and quiet desperation had taken up restless residence in the windows to his soul. Honey knew she shouldn't look at him so much, but she just wished she could understand what she had done wrong. Once the line of children and parents had cleared, it was long past the official closing time. Honey cleaned up the display and prepared it for the next day while Norman took one last lingering trip to the restroom. Her phone showed numerous messages from work friends from her other job asking where she was. The firm had planned a Christmas party at Gatsby's, a gorgeous club worthy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's glamorous hero. It was also the place where Zach had taken her on their first and last date. The Gatsby's waiter had looked stunned and confused when she shakily ordered herself an "angel shot," the code-phrase used to quietly ask bartenders or wait staff for help when you felt threatened, but after his initial shock, the waiter immediately escorted her secretly to a taxi waiting outside before Zach returned to the table. Gatsby's had saved her life; but she didn't want to go back there. After avoiding call after call from Zach, she finally answered and politely asked him never to call her again. To her surprise, he didn't. He never spoke to her again. Unless she sang, she never even saw him, but she felt his presence almost everywhere. It felt like she was haunted by him; haunted by something wonderful and magical that, inexplicably, went horribly wrong. Her phone buzzed again, the display showing that the firm's senior partner wanted to FaceTime her. Steeling herself, she answered. "Honey Lane where in the hell; oh my god lookit you!" Aaron Timberman held the phone high above his head with his long ex-basketball-player arms and Honey saw a crowd of her co-workers crowd into the picture behind him. "Um, hi sir. Sorry I'm late to;" "You're an elf!" "Um, yeah. It's a volunteer thing;" "Wait, wait, wait; you have the shoes? You know, with the; toes?" he slurred, motioning his finger in a spiral motion. Honey bit her lips and tilted the camera down her body, showing her entire costume, tilting her foot to show off the curled toe. "I'm sorry it got late tonight, but I'll be there as soon as I can get home and get changed;" Timberman looked around at the crowd surrounding him, "Guys, do we wanna see Honey Lane here at the party in some boring old Anne Klein shit, or do we want the elf?" he yelled, pointing at the screen. Behind him, almost a dozen of her co-workers began chanting "Elf, Elf, Elf, Elf!" "Get yer ass over here, Elf," Timberman ordered, poking at his screen several times before effectively ending the call. A few minutes later, Norman finally came back from the restroom and gave Honey a ride over to Gatsby's in his red SUV bedecked with a bumper sticker that read, "My other car's a SLEIGH!" Honey hopped out after getting bits of advice from Norman that would have been appropriate several decades ago. With flaming cheeks, she brushed the furry white pompom from her hat out of her face and told the smirking ma tre d which party she wanted, sighing when he grinned widely and escorted her through the middle of the main dining area, much to her horror. When the doors to the party room opened and she was greeted by another round of "Elf, Elf, Elf, Elf," she didn't feel much better. She was starving, so she headed over to the buffet and began loading up a plate with delicious-looking things on ice in shot glasses, impaled on sticks, or immersed in flames. She just spied a quiet table in a dark corner and was winding her way toward it to it to scarf down her only food since breakfast before she could be drawn into a drunken debate. That was the plan, anyway. "Hunnybaby! Lookit you! C'mon we gotta dance!" Lee James slurred to her fur-trimmed tits. With a sigh, she smiled and laid her plate down on a nearby table, promising to herself that she would eat right after enduring a dance with the favored junior partner. Unfortunately, after Lee angled her awkwardly around the dance floor, they'd drawn so much attention that everyone wanted to get pics of themselves toasting and dancing with the Christmas elf. At some point, she found herself in Timberman's arms with a glass of champagne in her hand. "Um; what?" she said, almost asking herself how she had gotten there. "I said you look lovely, tonight, Honey. Much better than in a shawl and sheath dress," he said, quickly twirling her around as they reached the edge of the dance floor. "Twirling makes my skirt go up; I'm dizzy," she murmured. A familiar dark figure flashed in the background and disappeared as Timberman turned her again. She looked around, trying to find the figure again, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Why was he there? Had she been singing again? "Well, I'll make sure nobody twirls you, my dear," he said, twirling her and smiling as her skirt flew up her long candy-cane striped legs. "The wives wouldn't like it." "I like your wife's dress Mr. Timberman; looks warm. It covers her ass when she sits, too," she slurred, frowning in confusion at the dark red drink in her hand now. Zach was frowning, and then he just looked blurry again as she swirled around. Maybe swirling made it harder for him to kill her. Why did he want to kill her? It just wasn't fair. Timberman leaned down and dipped her, "I'll make sure to give her your compliments. You know, if you like what wives wear, you should consider getting married. Lee is quite taken with you, you know," he said, stroking his hand against the soft pink velvet of her dress. Honey found herself drifting away and wandering inside her head again, thinking about Lee; he was handsome in an overly-polished way, said funny things, but they always sounded a little mean, like he wanted to be the only one laughing; and he also took her away from the food plate that just floated by on a table. It was still full. She should have eaten that food. What time was it? "He likes my boobs; and he doesn't want to kill me," she agreed eventually, surprised to find that Timberman was gone and she was dancing with Lee James again. "Well, I can't blame him for that; they're fucking perfect; just like everything else. I'm gonna come on them after you suck me off; he murmured, pulling her closer against him. "Let me take you home, Honey; penthouse view of the city; "Umm; no, that's not home; I live in the; railroad place; with the trains?" Honey explained, pointing in what she thought was the direction of the Lowertown Commons. Why did every guy think she lived with them tonight? "Sounds charming, Eliza Doolittle; you should trade up. You don't know how much I'd love twist your arms back and fuck this ass wide open over my balcony tonight," he said, reaching his hand under her skirt and greedily squeezing her bottom. "You'd like that, wouldn't you Honey? I can tell; Lee whispered, his cologne invading her head and making her queasy. "I feel sick; Honey whimpered and staggered away, trying to find the quiet table where the food was that would make her less drunk. The dance floor was confusing, though, always turning around and thumping and flashing. She leaned against a pillar until she got a better sense of where she was. She liked the pillar. It was big and strong; and it stroked her hair. "Honey; wake up, Honey. Open your mouth. You need to take these," the vaguely familiar voice said, cutting through the sleep that had been blocking out some of the pain she felt everywhere. She obediently opened her mouth and the hand put two caplets on her tongue. A water bottle squirted a little cool liquid into her mouth until she moaned and sucked harder, desperate for more. "Not too much. Wait until you can hold that down. I'll give you more in a bit. You don't want that IV back, do you?" "Nuh" Honey groaned. She hated needles. Sure, just about every part of her body hurt more than a needle did, right now, but somehow needle pain felt personal. Like with Zach. He didn't seem like someone who went around wanting to choke everybody; just her. She was nobody special; just a simple girl who kept lawyers organized and tried to be nice. Then, someone wonderful like Zach thought she needed to die. That hurt. Something about her made him go from being tender and intensely loving to someone who; it just didn't make sense. What did she do? Mercifully, sleep faded the pain and clouded her thoughts. Voices below her intruded into a wonderful dream where she was bouncing on clouds. Though not in the same room, the voices seemed strangely clear. "I can't; Terry, she cries when I do that," the pills voice said, making her eyes fly open. She knew that voice. She hadn't heard it for a year, but she would never forget it. Her body reacted with a confused mix of emotions, her cheeks flushing and adrenaline searing a path all through her at the same time. "That's because it hurts her. You know what hurts more? Bedsores. Man up. Use the pillows to prop her weight against the parts that aren't hurt on whichever side. It's either this, or she goes back to the hospital, and I have it on good authority you won't be allowed to visit after what happened." "She was screaming; Zach gritted. "Yeah, well they were putting her shoulder back in. People scream. That still doesn't excuse what you did. Since when did you become such a pussy about pain?" Terry asked. "since her." "oh my god." "Shut up," Zach grunted. "Oh my god; "Yeah, that's not shutting up." "The great Z-dog has been taken down;" "Shut up, maggot, it's not like that. I'm just taking care of h;" "By a little bitty pink Christmas elf; Terry laughed. There was a scuffling sound and then a loud whoomp and a forceful exhalation of air. "So, I turn her every few hours until she can do it for herself?" Zach asked, casually. "Yes, sir," Terry choked. "Anything else?" "Clear liquids until she can hold stuff down. Talk to her. Ask her questions. If she seems disoriented or part of her face goes slack, she goes back to the hospital. Don't fuck around." "Got it. Are you squared away, or do we need to discuss this further?" "Squared away, sir," Terry choked, then gasped in relief, panting faintly. "Jesus Christ, you haven't lost your touch. We on for the hump tomorrow at 0 500?" "No. I'm gonna stick close here until she's;" "Got it. Hey, maybe they have those Baby Bjorn things in elf-size. Then, you could just strap her onto your ba; ow! ow! ow, ow, ow!" "You weren't particularly attached to the rest of that sentence, were you, maggot?" Zach growled. "Sir, no sir; Terry squeaked. "I didn't think so. You'll be back here Wednesday," Zach stated, more as an order than a question. "Yeah, if you want me to. Honestly, right now she just needs rest and TLC more than a medic. That stands for 'tender loving care' by the way, not;" "You were just going," Zach said, as the voices moved to another end of the room below her. "Hey, you wanna know what makes an elf's toes curl up like tha;" Terry asked, his question cut off by the slamming of the door. Honey listened, trembling and terrified as Zach paced the floor below her. Though his voice hadn't changed, he sounded nothing like the man that had wooed her so tenderly a year ago. He sounded dangerous, brutal even. He definitely sounded like the kind of person that went around wanting to choke everyone, she thought, strangely relieved that her heartbreak felt a little less personal. How could she have been so wrong in her impression of him? She looked around the room, understanding now how the voices had reached her so easily. She was in an open industrial loft bedroom that opened onto the main floor below. Looking around, she realized she must be in Zach's huge bed, though if the crisply made side next to her was any indication, he hadn't been sleeping in it with her. Looking down her body, she gasped quietly. Her left arm was in a sling strapped to her chest, her legs were covered in bruises, and the right leg that was being stabbed with an invisible knife right now, was wrapped up in an air cast boot. What had happened to her? The last thing she remembered was feeling sick as she tried to get away from Lee's groping hands on the dance floor. After that; nothing. How did she get here? A beeping noise sounded below and Zach walked across the room to what sounded like a kitchen. The sound of water being poured into a cup, the ringing of a spoon stirring it, a pill bottle being opened. Honey shivered, realizing he was probably coming up to her, soon. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing, feigning sleep. Steps ascending to the loft bedroom. Ankle stabbing, stab, stab, stab, stab with every panicked heartbeat. A tray went down on the nightstand next to her. A chair across the room was lifted and set down by the bed. Honey told herself to breathe slowly, willing the tears welling behind her lids not to leak out of her eyes. He would leave her alone if she was sleeping, wouldn't he? "You're not sleeping," Zach's voice stated, quietly, and her stomach clenched in fear. "You've been waking up for these pills every four hours like a junkie. I know you don't want to talk to me, Honey, but until you're squared away, you're gonna have to. So, cut the crap, open your eyes, and let's get this done." Honey opened her eyes to see his grim face looking down at her. With one blink, large tears rolled down her pale cheeks, and Zach's jaw set angrily. Sitting down in the chair, he put his elbows on his knees and leaned his massive shoulders forward, looking at her. His hands looked like they could crush rocks as he gripped them together. "Let's get some things straight. I don't know what you think you know about me, but acting like I'm some kind of psycho is pretty shitty. You want nothing of me, that's fine, but you're hurt because you screamed and flung yourself down some stairs rather than let me help you to an Uber. You're staying here until you're well, because some shithead at that party gave you enough roofies to be in a coma for almost 3 days and I'm not dragging my ass to that rat trap of yours in the Commons every day to make sure they don't come back while you're weak. Are we clear?" he asked. Honey swallowed and nodded, wincing at the pain in her neck and head. That just seemed to make Zach angrier. "While you are here, you will do as you're told. You will eat what you get, and you will not complain. You see these, here?" he said, holding up the magic caplets that made everything better. "These are the last ones you're getting. I'm switching you to ibuprofen and Tylenol because, unchecked, this Sackler shit will fuck you up for good and that's not happening on my watch. Do you understand?" he asked. "Yes," Honey whispered. At the sound of her voice, Zach's mouth twitched, but at least he didn't look as angry as when she'd nodded and winced. "You will follow your doctor's orders to the last goddamn word. You will rest. You will do your therapy. You will let me help you and you will ask me for what you need because I am not a fucking mind reader. And so help me, if you do anything stupid like get out of that bed without me here to help you, or push yourself away from me like you did at Gatsby's, or any other drama shit that hurts even one hair on that head again, I will personally make you regret you were ever born." "Yes, Zach," Honey breathed, confused. Two more tears rolled down her cheeks. Without thinking, she leaned over to wipe them off on her shoulder and cried out in pain. Zach squeezed his clenched hands together and several of his knuckles cracked. "You don't use my name. You don't get to use my name. You're not getting under my skin again, you hear me?" Zach growled, using his rough knuckle to wipe her tears. "Orders a fucking angel shot in my own fucking club; fuck you. I don't have a name, you don't have a name. You're nothing to me. Understand?" "Yes, sir," she whispered. Honey leaned forward and took the last spoonful of broth into her mouth and swallowed, looking longingly at the noodles at the bottom of the cup. Zach caught a drop of broth at the bottom of her lower lip with the spoon and returned it to her mouth. "No," he said, seeing where her eyes lingered. "I can do it," she pleaded. "Please; I haven't had anything solid since; how long has it been?" "I said, no. You throw up on another pair of my skivvies and I'll be doing laundry twice a week," Zach said, dabbing her mouth with a paper towel. "Why do I have to wear your boxer briefs anyway? They feel weird. They have this hole-flap thing; and there are some places that aren't supposed to feel a breeze," Honey said, lifting the blanket to look down at his underwear loosely covering her hips. "Are you complaining?" he asked quietly. Honey's eyes darted quickly to his face, "No sir," she murmured, looking down at her lap. "I just thought if I had some of my things here, you wouldn't have to do the laundry so much." "I'll worry about what I have to do, Honey," he said, unthinkingly using her name. Startled, she looked up to see his eyes wandering over her, his massive t-shirt sleeves going down past her elbows. She felt ridiculous and disheveled, but something about the way he looked at her made her hold her breath. Then, without another word, he slurped the noodles out of the cup and took the tray downstairs. After that, the two settled into a quiet routine of him feeding her, giving her medicine, and watching her sleep most of the day. She would sometimes awaken to the soft repetitive sounds of him running on a treadmill, or the clinking of him lifting weights downstairs where she couldn't see him. Then, he would go to the bathroom and shower. After his shower, he came upstairs again in his towel and took some clothes from his dresser before going back downstairs to change. Honey found herself looking forward to those few seconds each day, watching his droplet-covered torso twist as he leaned over his dresser. He frowned as he flipped through his carefully folded underwear. "You wearing the grey ones?" he asked, not looking at her. Honey peeked under the covers, "Um, yes sir," she replied. "I'm supposed to wear the grey ones today," he grumbled to himself. Honey didn't say anything. Zach was the one who picked out which underwear she wore today. He was the one who looked away while he painstakingly slipped the old ones off her hips and pulled the new ones over her boot and up her legs until her bottom was covered again. There was nothing about her life that wasn't chosen and executed by him. If he wasn't happy about the color of his underwear, that was his fault. Still, Zach kept rummaging around in his underwear drawer as if another crisply folded grey pair would somehow magically appear. Finally, rather than offend him by laughing, Honey spoke, "Um; you know, if they're clean, I could wear the pair I had on when I went to the hospital and you could have these. It would get you back on schedule; Zach lifted his head from the drawer and glared at her, as if he thought she was making fun of him. Honey held carefully still and shrugged her uninjured limb. She wasn't making fun, she just wanted to help. The movement caused the huge neckline to gape over to the side, revealing her bare shoulder. She waited as Zach stared impassively at her, the vein at his neck throbbing. After a long moment, he walked over and stood next to her, the tuck of his towel right next to her face. With every breath, she inhaled the scent of his wet body and the bar soap he used. A rivulet of water painstakingly slid from his chest and down his abdomen, until finally disappearing into the tightly twisted white cotton. Honey glanced up to see that he had been reading her face as she watched the droplet's progress. With a shaking breath, she blushed and pulled the covers higher with her good arm. With a twist of his mouth, Zach pulled the neckline back over her shoulder again and quickly left the room. That night, after leaving her with a video baby monitor watching her on the nightstand, Zach returned with a bag of her underwear and some of her nightgowns. After watching her excitedly sort through them, Zach pushed them aside and sat on the edge of the bed. "There were a bunch of boxes with tags on them in your living room. What's that about?" he asked. Honey's eyes dropped, "Oh; that's the charity gift thing for kids. You sign up and get them something they wished for and wrap it up so they can have something under the tree, when they wouldn't have something otherwise. It's nice, you know? I signed up for a bunch and I was supposed to wrap them and get them back to the law firm, but I guess; sorry kids," she trailed off. Looking furious, yet carefully impassive at the same time, Zach cursed under his breath and left again, returning with the packages and a huge stack of unused Styrofoam clamshells from Gatsby's, and dumped them on the bed next to her. For the next few hours, they "wrapped" the presents, Zach carefully fitting items into an appropriate-sized takeout box, and Honey trying to make them pretty with ribbons. As she watched him work, occasionally cursing under his breath, she found herself smiling at his frowning face when he was strategizing how to fit a basketball into three disassembled clamshells. "What are you laughing at?" he said, glaring when he caught her at it. "I wasn't laughing. I was smiling." "Why were you smiling, then?" he asked. "I guess; I just like you; sir," she said, glancing over at him. Honey saw a hopeful softness steal into Zach's eyes until he forcibly wrestled it down and a look of hooded sarcasm shaded them. "Yeah, well; fool me once," he sneered. Angry, Honey closed her eyes, blocking him out the only way she could. "You know, that's; that's not fair. Not after what you said; you scared me!" she said, frustrated that, once again, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Zach choked out a mirthless laugh, "I scared you? What did I say, Honey? What did I fucking say? God! I was on eggshells all night trying not to fuck it up with you and then you just; why? Those creeps you were dancing with at that party, those fucking 'nice guys' that drugged you, they were saying shit that made my skin crawl! I didn't even kiss you! I couldn't! I could barely breathe just for looking at you on our date; you looked just like a fucking angel. What did I say, Honey? What did I say?" Honey reached over and grabbed her phone, flipping through her photo album to a screenshot taken shortly before she blocked his number. "You didn't say it; you texted it. I remember watching you leave for the restroom thinking I'd met the love of my life and then you sent me this; she said, handing her phone to him. Zach took the phone, his face going from an angry red to pale horror in a matter of seconds. "This; this; he gasped, "I didn't; send this; to you; he said, shaking his head. "Whoever had your phone did, sir!" she said, emphasizing the last word, making him wince. "I spent the last year thinking you wanted to do that to me; to kill me. Every time I felt you watching me, every crowd I saw you show up in, every dark room I had to go into, that's what I thought about. I thought that a man I was head over heels about; that I could be so wrong about him. So, excuse me for thinking I liked you, sir. I promise it won't ever happen again!" Honey cried herself to sleep that night, refusing to speak to, or even look at Zach again. When she awoke, the bedroom was empty, and a glass of water and a pain pill were waiting on the nightstand. After swallowing the pill, she stared at the ceiling, furious. She didn't want to be there anymore, to be helpless and dependent on him, to obey all his stupid rules. He didn't deserve to take care of her. So, she tightened the straps on her boot and increased the air pressure to hold her broken ankle tightly enough to walk without her crutches. Then, she took off Zach's t-shirt, pulled on her elf dress, and called herself an Uber. It was when she saw the anticipated arrival time of 8 minutes that she realized her mistake. There was no way for her to get down from the loft and out of the apartment quietly in that amount of time. If she used the crutches, she would be able to descend the stairs quickly enough, but they made such a distinctive clicking racket that they would surely wake up her gorilla-like guard. If she hopped down the stairs on her good foot, it might have worked, but her good arm was on the opposite side and she kept losing her balance. Eventually she decided on the most painful course, of going down on her good and bad legs, using her good arm for support. Her boot thunked horribly the first few times, until she got the hang of it and could place it more quietly on the next step and then hop her good foot down to support it before the scream inside her could escape her lips. By the time she reached the bottom, though, she was shaking with pain and exhausted. Curiosity forced her to look around the rest of the apartment as she caught her breath, sitting on the bottom step. It was clean and unmistakably masculine. Exercise equipment took up a lot of the space not already claimed by a leather couch and TV arrangement. Zach lay on the couch, made up with sheets to act as a bed, his feet sticking out over the arm, his hand tucked under the back of his head, his chest rising and falling under the rumpled sheet. If she wasn't so angry, she'd find him handsome; or maybe he still was handsome, she thought grudgingly, closing her eyes miserably and looking away. Why couldn't he be ugly? Life wasn't fair. Uber. Right. Screwing up her courage for what was ahead, she stood and slowly hobbled across the hardwood floor, agonizing over every painful thump and noisy squeak until she finally reached the door. She unlocked the five locks on his large door, each of them being well-oiled and working perfectly. She expected no less of her anal-retentive, grey-skivvies-on-Tuesdays captor. Finally, she tugged open the heavy door to find endless flights of icy steel-mesh stairs leading all the way down to the street where her Uber was waiting. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me; she cried, breaking down into tears. A strong arm slid down around her waist and mercifully shifted her weight off her throbbing foot, "I know. It sucks. You should try it with a rucksack full of bricks," Zach said, leaning his head down and breathing into her hair. "I want to go home," she whispered. "Let me take care of you; please," Zach murmured into the top of her head, "I; it was my fault this happened to you. I scared you, I know that now; but, please believe me that I would never want to hurt or frighten you like that." "It wasn't just that text," she said, pulling her head away and looking up at him angrily. "All year, I never had a moment's peace. Even when I couldn't see you, I could feel you waiting in the quiet or dark places. Even if you weren't there;" "I was there," he confessed. "I was always there. I didn't understand what had gone wrong. You didn't want to talk to me, and the world just didn't make sense to me unless I knew where you were, what you were doing; unless I knew you were safe." "Maybe you knew I was safe, but I didn't! I thought I'd done something; that somehow I deserved to have this beautiful, scary monster hunting me. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done to destroy something that was so; wonderful." "You didn't do anything, Honey. Nothing at all. You were perfect. You were so perfect that I couldn't keep; you didn't do anything wrong. I never meant to send you that message; please, please believe me." "Why did you send it?" she asked, finally looking up into his eyes. The dark blue liquid pools of her eyes turned violet in the moonlight, and Zach felt a tightening in his chest. "I; I can't tell you that; but it was never meant for you." "You mean, you meant to send that message to someone else? To hurt them like that?" "Honey, I; Zach said, looking around, unable to meet her eyes, "Please, I can't; you wouldn't understand; my life isn't like that anymore." "I want to go home, Zach; please," she whispered. Zach closed his eyes for a long moment before he swallowed and nodded, looking like he was in more pain than she was. "I'll take you home tomorrow, okay? Or Terry will, if you don't want me to. He'll check the place out, make sure you're set up and safe there. You're tired, you're hurting, and your Uber's gone, now. Let me take you back upstairs and you can go in the morning. Please." At that moment, a throb of pain shot through her entire leg, and as angry as Honey was, she knew she couldn't face her empty apartment without a few more hours of rest. "Okay," she whispered. To be continued in part 2, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought, in 3 parts, for Literotica.

It's not too late to join me for my legendary 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.In this episode we dive into the powerful connection between cleaning, mental health and self-care and how looking after your home can genuinely transform your mindset. I'm joined by the amazing Laura Mountford (aka Lauracleanaholic), who shares how she reframes everyday housework into a form of mindfulness, movement, and emotional reset. We talk about why cleaning can sometimes feel easier and more accessible than traditional self-care, especially for mums, and how small, simple actions like decluttering a drawer or refreshing a room can instantly shift your energy. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, stuck in a spiral, or unable to find time for yourself, this episode will help you see your home and your daily habits in a totally new light.We explore practical ways to use cleaning as free therapy, from creating low-friction home hacks to building routines that support your mental wellbeing. Laura and I unpack how clearing physical space can clear mental space, why caring for your environment is a direct act of caring for yourself, and how to make cleaning feel joyful instead of draining. Whether you're craving motivation, looking to manifest a calmer life, or wanting to feel more grounded in your space, this conversation is packed with inspiration and simple shifts you can try today. Tune in to learn how “house care is self-care” can become one of the most powerful tools in your wellbeing routine.Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comBy the way, do we love my Amazon Storefront - it even has all my favourite self development books on there!(Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

   What is your FOCUS this weekend and these last few days before Christmas 2025? Honestly now, how much time and energy are you investing in preparations for family gatherings, buying and wrapping of gifts, traveling plans etc.,  and how much time nurturing your SOUL for this annual celebration of God’s ultimate gift to our world… Jesus?(Click here to see full text, images and links)    Pastor Doug Anderson    “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)Have a comment or question about today's chapter? I'm ready to hear from you, contact me here. Interested in helping "Walking with Jesus" financially? Click here

Michigan Weather and Women: Part 3 How did we ever get here? Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Connected. "When I was fourteen, Mr. Johnson introduced me to a friend of his, Henry White, who was a master plumber. Henry was a high-functioning alcoholic whose temper had driven away all his old apprentices and journeymen. Luckily, I was always big for my age, and Mr. Johnson assured Henry that I was seventeen, turning eighteen in the next few months, so he took me on with the promise to make me an apprentice as soon as I was old enough. By the time that Henry learned my actual age, he had come to rely on me so much that he kept me on." "But what about school? Don't you need a high school diploma to become an apprentice?" "One good thing about growing up in a small town is that most people know the score. I made it to school when I could, and Henry and I worked a lot on the weekends, while Alison watched the rest of my siblings. Most of my teachers let me through with C's and D's, even though I must have missed half of my classes. Everyone knew that I was working with Henry and that I would need my high school diploma to become an apprentice, so they just kind of let me slip through. "I had well over 6,000 hours of experience plumbing before I even turned 18 and could formally become an apprentice. By that point, Henry was a significantly less functional alcoholic, and I was doing everything for his business; all the plumbing and all of the invoicing. He just signed off on the work. If anyone had ever looked into it, he could have gotten into real trouble, but we did smaller jobs for folks who didn't have a lot of money, so no one ever noticed or cared. "Just about the last thing that Henry did before he passed was to swear out my application to become a master plumber. Then one day I showed up for work, and he had died in his sleep. He didn't own much of anything, other than his tools, and he didn't have any family that I knew of, so I just kept on working." After a few minutes spent lying together in silence, I thought that Erin might have drifted off, but she had one more question for me before she did. "When did your mom leave?" I had never told anyone that part of my story; even my brother and sisters thought that Mom had just left one day, leaving me in charge. The reality was so much worse. "By the time Lane started school, Mom had already left us. Not physically, but in all the other ways that matter. She didn't work, and she regularly brought her 'boyfriends' back to our house to trade sex for drugs. Any support she got from social services went straight into her arm or up her nose. I was working long hours by then, to pay the rent and put food on the table, so sometimes that meant that Mary or my brother would be at home with Mom when I wasn't there. I knew it was playing with fire, but there was nothing I could do about it other than pray. "Normally, when I got home, I would blow my horn as I pulled into our drive and Lane would come running out to hug me and tell me about his day. So, I knew something was wrong when I came home late one evening, turned off my truck, and he still hadn't come out. I went inside, and Mom was sitting stoned in the living room watching TV. I asked where Lane was, and she just waved toward the back of the house. Alison and Sharon were out, so Mary and Lane were home with her by themselves. I found him in the room that we shared, cowering in the corner, with little Mary guarding the door. She was only eight at the time. "After a few minutes, I got Lane to tell me what was wrong, and he showed me his arm. Earlier, he had been in the kitchen and had bumped into Mom while she was cooking something on the stove. In a burst of rage, or maybe just evil, she grabbed his arm and held it against the burner. You can still see the scar on his arm today. "That was the end of it. I asked Mary to stay with Lane in our room, I packed Mom's things into the one suitcase we owned, and I drove her to the bus station. I bought her a ticket to Grand Rapids, gave her all the cash in my wallet, and waited with her until she boarded. I told her I would call the police if she ever came back. "Before she left, she spat on me and told me she wished I had never been born." I marveled at how flat my voice sounded, but to my surprise, my cheeks felt wet. I thought I had lost the ability to cry long ago. "Can you imagine that, abandoning your own mother? I'll probably burn in hell, but it was the only way I could think of to keep my brother and sisters safe. I haven't seen her since, although she used to call a couple of times a year asking for money. I didn't feel too bad about hanging up on her when she did, though, since she was still collecting family benefits for us all. Lane barely remembers her, which is likely a blessing, so I made up the story about Mom going away for the weekend and never coming back. "Since then, I have done what was needed for us to survive. When Alison finished school, she wanted to stay home to help look after the others, but I convinced her to go to college. I said that Mom had put aside some money for her tuition, but of course, that was a lie. I have been making the payments for her, but I wanted her to have the chance to just be young, for once. To get away from all of this, at least for a while." "But what about you, Davis?" "I don't matter." "Well, you matter to me." While I was speaking, Erin had wrapped both arms around me and was now holding me tight against her body. When I finished, my body was wracked by waves of uncontrollable grief, but she held me through it all. Eventually, as I started to calm down, she gave me gentle kisses on the nape of my neck and whispered to me in a soft voice. I don't remember what she said, but I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. The power came back on early the next morning, and Erin and I were the first people to wake up. She lay beside me with a small smile on her face. "You've had some hard times, Davis Crawford, but you have come out the other side. You're pretty amazing." I felt a sudden burst of both elation and fear as I returned her smile. "Thanks for listening and not judging me. I've never told anyone some of the things I shared with you." "It was my pleasure. Now let's get up and make some coffee." Looking out the window, the snowdrifts were over two feet high in places, but I knew they weren't going to get any lighter as the sun came out and they started to melt. "I am going to get started on the shoveling if you want to start on breakfast." Erin gave me a bemused look. "Or maybe, I am fully capable of shoveling snow, and we can get it done twice as fast by working together." A few minutes after we started, Lane came out to help. At one point, when Erin was on the other side of the yard, he started to speak. "I heard some of what you said to Erin last night. I never knew what Mom did to you, what you did to protect us. Thank you." "Ah, Bud. I never wanted you to worry. Mom wasn't well for a long time, and she made some terrible choices. But she's gone now, and you will always be safe with me." By the time we finished, we had worked ourselves into a lather, so I suggested to Wilma that she get a snow plowing service for the winter. She gave me a look that implied that somewhere there was a village searching for its idiot; and that idiot was me. "Oh, I have a service, but they take so long to come that they are useless if they bother to show up at all." Erin jumped into the conversation, looking pissed off. "It's part of my family and the McDougal's ongoing campaign to get Gran to move. I have told them how dangerous the game they are playing is, but they just don't seem to care." I thought for a minute, before walking a little ways away and making a call. When I returned, I had some good news for Wilma. "Go ahead and cancel your current service. If they aren't going to do the work, they shouldn't have a problem with not getting paid. I called an old friend of mine from school who runs a snow removal company out of Harbor Springs, who owes me a favor or nine. From now on, you will be at the top of his list." Erin and I texted just about every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we talked most nights when she wasn't working. We were both insanely busy; Erin was providing pediatric coverage for two hospitals that were three hours apart, and I was working as much overtime as possible, to save up for Christmas. Some weeks, the only time we had to meet in person was Sunday afternoons at Wilma's. Mary, in turn, was flourishing under Wilma's guidance. It seemed like she was channeling her emotions into her art, and I began to see the kind and thoughtful sister reemerge that I thought I had lost forever. She wouldn't show me the painting she was working on, but Wilma said she was making good progress, and that was all I needed to know. As it got towards mid-December, our thoughts turned to Christmas. Since Wilma's family was still boycotting the holidays, we decided to have a joint celebration like at Thanksgiving. Erin was going to be working at the hospital in Petoskey on Christmas Day, but we promised to keep Wilma company and to bring her a Christmas meal that she could eat on her break. In typical fashion, she tried to convince us that she would be fine with cafeteria food, but we would hear nothing of it. When we got to Wilma's house for lunch on Christmas Day, she had stockings laid out by the fireplace with a present for each of us. Santa must have had a very healthy budget, because he brought Lane a new fishing rod, Mary a set of expensive paints and charcoals, Sharon a contribution to her college fund, and Alison a specialized nurse's bag with a personalized stethoscope. Rather than a present, my stocking came with a small envelope that contained a pair of tickets to the traveling production of "Moulin Rouge" that was playing in Grand Rapids in March. Although I was happy to get a present of any kind, Wilma must have seen my look of confusion at the choice. "I was talking to Santa, and he mentioned that Erin loves musicals. Phillip used to take her to them when she was younger. He would put on his best suit, and she would get all dolled up in a dress with some of my jewelry, and they would go out for a fancy dinner before the show and have a grand old time." I looked at her in amusement, before replying. "Well, it seems that Santa is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. But I will have to say thanks, next time I bump into him." Our present to Wilma came in three parts. First, we included her in our Christmas cookie exchange, and Mary even gave her a double portion of the chocolate chip cookies she had baked. Second, the five of us committed to helping her catch up on the yard work and house repairs that had fallen by the wayside since Phillip passed. And finally, we pledged to do everything in our power to make sure that she could stay in her house for as long as she was able. Wilma hugged and thanked each of us with tears in her eyes, then looked over at Mary. "Why don't you get your present for your brother." Mary went to the studio at the back of the house and brought back what looked like a small painting, wrapped in Christmas paper. "I wanted to make you something to say 'thank you' for everything you have done for us. And for not giving up on me." When I unwrapped the painting, I was stunned. It was very different from Phillip or Wilma's more realistic works and had vibrant streaks of paint that burst across the canvas, meeting, seemingly at random, in explosions of color. The entire piece was chaotic, except for a single corner that was shielded from the turmoil by a solid arc of paint that was the exact color of my eyes. After lunch, Mary and Sharon kept Wilma company while Alison, Lane, and I went to see Erin at the hospital. Things were pretty quiet, so she had time to sit and eat her dinner with us. While she ate, I showed her pictures from earlier in the day. She laughed at one, in particular, of Wilma with her arm around Mary while they were wearing festive paper hats from their Christmas crackers. "Thank you for taking such good care of Wilma, Davis. She would never admit it, but the holidays would have been very lonely for her this year without you. It means the world to me that you could be there for her." We chatted a bit longer before I pulled out my present for Erin. It was a small flat package which she opened slowly. Inside was a framed drawing of Wilma's house, as seen from the docks, as she looked out the picture window in her living room. "This is amazing, who made it?" "I used to draw quite a bit in school. Since Mary has been working with your Gran, I thought I might give it another try, and I particularly liked how this one turned out." "It's beautiful, Davis. Thank you." She started to blush as she glanced over at Lane, before she slid a card over to me, and whispered, "Maybe you should wait to open this until later when you're alone." Inside the card was Erin's two-part gift to me. First, an invitation to visit her in Grand Rapids, and second, a night for the two of us in a suite at a very nice hotel. New Year's Eve was even quieter than usual at our house. Erin was working in Grand Rapids and was on call that evening. I spoke with her earlier in the day, however, and wished her a Happy New Year, and we sent each other kissing emojis at midnight. The rest of us spent the night playing board games. The only real excitement came a few days earlier when Mary asked if she could invite a friend to join us. "And is this friend a boy, by chance?" As far as I knew, Mary had never had a boyfriend, so this was a new development. Mary didn't have to answer, since her blush did the talking for her. "Do we know this boy?" "It's; It's James McDougal. But he's not like his brothers. He's a good guy." I had my reservations about all of the McDougals, but I was willing to give him a chance. I had only met James that one time at his parent's house when I had gone to get Mary, and he seemed polite enough. But since he was a McDougal, he was starting with two strikes and was in danger of going down swinging. To give Mary credit, James passed the first boyfriend test before he even made it into the house. When he drove into the yard, Munchkin was the first to greet him. He wasn't growling or barking like he sometimes did, or showing his teeth, but he was plenty intimidating. James waited patiently for him to approach before carefully scratching behind his ears. After Mary came out to greet James, Munchkin decided he was alright and fell in behind them as they came inside. Just after midnight, as he was getting ready to leave, James took me aside. "I just wanted to say, sir, that I am sorry for what happened with Mary a few months back. I should never have brought her over to my house without your permission, and I should have brought her right back home once I saw that my brothers were home. I promise you, that despite my bad judgment, I would have made sure that nothing happened to her, and I won't ever make that mistake again." I had to admit that James was growing on me. Chapter 5. It wasn't long before Mary introduced James to Wilma. I had to work on a Sunday in early January, so he offered to drive her to Wilma's in my place. I could tell he was nervous, and he was wearing a nice, collared shirt with some clean jeans, under his winter jacket. By the time he brought Mary home, his shirt was soaked in sweat, and he looked a little like a young man returning from war. Later that week, I asked Wilma what she thought of him. "He seems like a nice, polite boy and he sure is besotted with our Mary. While Mary and I worked on her latest painting, he did some chores for me, including chopping and stacking the entire half cord of wood you dropped off last week. But he didn't complain, and he was still smiling at Mary when he was done, so I think he will do." Wilma's relationship with the rest of the McDougals, however, remained tense, and they made it clear to me that continuing to help her would come at a steep cost. I ran into Calum one evening at the grocery store and he made their position crystal clear. "We've got a big job coming up in Indian River that you might be interested in. Starts in a week, and it would keep you busy for the better part of the next year, solid. The job is yours if you want it." "What's this job going to cost me?" "It's yours, no strings attached. But you wouldn't have time to help old lady Anderson anymore. You know, and I know, that it's time for her to move on from that land. It's what her family wants and it's what's best for her. I am sure that doctor down in Petoskey would understand, I figure she must be tired of looking after that grandmother of hers all the time anyway. Think how much more time the two of you would have together if you were working a regular nine-to-five kind of job. "On the other hand, if you don't work with us on this project, my family is going to take it pretty hard. Hard enough that we might reach out to our friends and neighbors to let them know that you are not a team player and that they may not want to do business with you." There it was. They were threatening to ruin me if I didn't do what they wanted. I knew they couldn't cut off all of my business since there were too many people in the lower peninsula who had been screwed over by them in the past. But they could sure make things tough for me. I am really bad at taking orders, however, particularly from dickheads like Calum McDougal. Calum had a cynical smile as he walked away. He didn't value decency or loyalty, so I was sure he thought he had won me over. All he had done was harden my resolve. I felt honor-bound to reach out to my friend who was clearing Wilma's driveway, though, to let him know that he might get some heat from the McDougals. He was surprisingly poetic in his response. "Fuck those arrogant worm-drowners and the horses they rode in on." Valentine's Day was never a big deal for me. Over the years, I hadn't had time to date, and I wouldn't have had any money to do anything special if I did, so the Hallmark holiday passed me by without too much fuss or bother. I had hoped things might be different since I was with Erin, but she was on call at the hospital in Petoskey, and I was pushing hard on a large multi-unit build that was on a tight schedule, so I was working six or even seven days a week until it was done. My work hadn't completely dried up since my run-in with Calum, but it had certainly taken a hit, so I was not in a position to turn down jobs, no matter how inconvenient. My one consolation was I knew I would see Erin in a couple of weeks when I visited her in Grand Rapids for the show. I had some flowers delivered to her at the hospital anyway, to let her know that I was thinking of her. That earned me an emoji-filled text and an enthusiastic video call when she was done with her shift. As the date of the show got closer, I started to get anxious. I had never been to a live performance of anything, except the occasional high school assembly, and I worried that Erin would be disappointed in my lack of manners and refinement. Wilma noticed my growing nervousness and decided that I needed a pep talk. "Listen, Davis. Erin likes you for who you are. She doesn't need or want you to act like some slick yuppie from the big city." "I know, Wilma, but I don't even know what to wear. The nicest outfit I own is still just a collared shirt over a pair of jeans." "Hmm, I can help you with that. I still have some of Phillip's old suits and ties, let's take a look and see what might fit." Half an hour later, Wilma had picked out a heavier dark charcoal-colored suit, a lightweight linen suit suitable for warmer weather, and a dark grey suit with tight pinstripes for me to try on. She had some shirts for me, as well, from when Phillip was younger. "Phillip wore that pinstripe suit the first time that he took me to the movies. I'll never forget that night, he looked just like Cary Grant. If you bring these suits to the tailor in Indian River, he should be able to take in the jacket and hem the pants to fit you perfectly. A good tailor can make these suits look like they were cut just for you." I didn't want to seem ungrateful, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would look funny in a decades-old suit. Wilma dismissed my concerns out of hand. "Let me tell you a little secret. If you buy a cheap suit, it will quickly begin to look tacky and dated. If you invest in a quality suit, it will age gracefully and become a timeless classic." Finally, Wilma selected a half dozen ties for me to try on and spent an hour teaching me how to tie a half-Windsor knot. "Get these suits altered, grab yourself a pair of polished black leather shoes, and you'll have those snooty pricks at the theatre thinking they are underdressed. And try to have fun. Erin loves the theatre, so if the two of you continue to fall in love, you will be going with her at least a couple of times a year, so you might as well enjoy it." I stood there in shock for a moment. "Do you really think Erin is falling in love with me?" "Well, yes, I do. And it's clear as daylight that you're in love with her too. But don't overthink things. Just go to the show and have a great night together. And here, take this with you as well," Wilma said handing me a navy blue pocket square with a distinctive paisley pattern. "Most men don't bother wearing a pocket square anymore, but I think they complete the look perfectly. You should wear this one on your date with Erin." Wilma took a final look at me and then slipped a twenty-dollar bill into my pocket. "That's for you to get a haircut before the show. Your normal 'shaggy mutt lost in a forest' look is adorable but not for your big date." The day of the performance approached with both aching slowness and relentless speed. We hadn't discussed it, but I knew (or at least strongly suspected) that Erin would have some expectations about how we spent our time together after the show. Unfortunately, I had no experience when it came to women other than a single kiss with Brittany Johnson back in my sophomore year of high school. I was terrified that I would disappoint her. To make matters worse, I had the three-and-a-half-hour drive to Grand Rapids to overthink things. By the time I arrived at Erin's apartment complex, I was a bit of a mess. My nerves were somewhat allayed, however, when Erin came running out to greet me with a huge smile on her face. "You made it! How was the drive? Wow, I love the haircut! I hope you're not too tired. I can't wait for tonight. I have been telling the girls all about you, and they are dying to see if the man lives up to the legend!" I guess Erin could see the sudden swell of anxiety on my face, so she took my hand. "Don't worry, the girls will love you, Davis. Why don't you grab your bag and come inside? I thought we could get changed here and then check in to the hotel before dinner and the show." Erin's housemates were really sweet, and the three of us chatted for at least an hour while Erin got ready before I excused myself to do the same. I put on Phillip's charcoal grey suit along with the crisp white shirt that Wilma had recommended. It took me four tries to tie my navy blue tie, but even I could tell that it made the colors in my paisley pocket square pop. Despite my nerves, I was still ready before Erin, so I rejoined her housemates in the living room while I waited. They kept sneaking glances at me when they thought I wasn't looking, so much so that I thought I must have done something wrong. Rather than second-guessing myself, I decided to take the bull by the horns and ask; better to be embarrassed in front of Erin's housemates than in front of her. "It's; it's not that you did anything wrong. It's just that you look; well, amazing; like an old-time movie star or something. Erin is going to swoon when she sees you." "You really think so?" I asked, still not sure of myself. Just then, I heard Erin's voice from behind me. "I'm sorry I took so long; we should head out before we're;" Erin went silent as I turned to look at her. She was wearing a floor-length emerald-green dress, which seemed to flow around her and mold to her curves, gathering delicately at her neck while leaving her back bare. Her sandy-blonde hair was styled in an elegant updo, while a few strands floated loose, framing her face. But, as always, what captured and held my gaze were her amber eyes, which danced and sparkled as she moved. My hands began to tremble, and I didn't trust myself to speak. "Do I look alright, Davis?" I took a deep breath that sent oxygen coursing through my body, as I found my voice. "I had no idea that anyone could look as beautiful as you do right now." Apparently, she liked my response, since her face broke into a wide grin. "You look mighty handsome yourself, Mister," she said while making a small adjustment to the knot of my tie. "Is that one of Grampy's suits? It looks amazing on you, and I love the tie and the; Oh; Oh, Davis. Is that Grampy's pocket square?" I could see tears forming in her eyes. "Wilma thought you might like it; that it might remind you of Phillip and the times he took you to the theatre when you were younger. I don't have to wear it, though, if you don't like it," I said reaching up to take it out of my pocket. Erin stopped my hand with hers, however, and then lightly ran her fingertips over the colorful square. "Gran was right. It reminds me of Grampy and now it will remind me of you. Please, I want you to wear it. For me." I felt a bit self-conscious pulling up to a fancy hotel in my ratty old truck, but it didn't seem to faze Erin in the least, so I decided not to worry about it. The suite she had booked was by far the nicest room of any kind that I had ever been in, but I tried not to seem like a country rube as I looked around. "Do you like it?" Erin asked a bit nervously, as she tried to gauge my reaction. "Honestly, I thought that rooms like this were just for celebrities and movie stars, and folks like that." "Normally that's the case, I guess, but for one night; tonight; it's ours." Dinner was lovely. I kept expecting people to see past my suit and realize that I was an imposter; just a plumber from the peninsula; not the kind of man who should be spending the evening with a woman like Erin. But she seemed to be having a wonderful time, so I began to relax. My anxiety was further abated when she leaned over the table and said in a low voice. "Jesus, the women in this place can't stop checking you out. I'm kind of wishing I had brought my bear spray now to keep them away. I need to excuse myself for a minute, but I wouldn't be surprised to find one of them trying to take my place when I get back." "Erin, I would never;" "I know, Darling. And frankly, they can look all they want because I know who you're going home with tonight." After that, I looked around the room with a new eye and noticed the subtle glances in my direction, and the shy smiles and blushes. I guess Phillip really did have good taste in suits. After dinner, we walked arm-in-arm to the performance hall, which was very impressive, with its soaring ceilings and plush velvet upholstery. Our seats were in a box on the right-hand side of the hall, which gave us a commanding view of the stage. As the lights went down, Erin took my hand in eager anticipation. I don't remember much about the performance that night; I spent more time watching Erin's childlike wonder than what was happening on the stage. Erin was still holding my hand at the intermission, and I felt a warm sense of contentment wash over me. "Oh, I forgot to mention, some of the largest donors to the hospital are hosting a reception after the performance. Would it be alright if we put in an appearance before we head back to our hotel?" I agreed without hesitation; a decision I would second guess before the night was over. It was close to 10:30 by the time the performance ended, and Erin held my arm, while resting her head on my shoulder, as we made our way through the hall to the reception. We each grabbed a drink, and we drifted through the small crowd until Erin was greeted warmly by a distinguished-looking older couple. Erin introduced them to me as the hosts of the reception, Mr. and Mrs. Wendel. "Please, just call us Tom and Martha. And you two make such a lovely couple. What do you do, Davis?" "I am a plumber, Ma'am," I replied, wondering how that news would be received by this obviously well-to-do couple, but I needn't have worried. "What kind of plumbing do you do?" Tom asked with genuine interest. "Mainly residential at this point, since I just got my master's license last year. A lot of the larger builders want to see some gray hairs on the heads of their skilled tradesmen, so right now, I am just doing what I can to pay the bills." "Amen, to that brother. I remember those days well. I started out, over 30 years ago now, as a dry Waller, and I spent more years than I care to remember doing whatever jobs I could get, just to get a foot in the door. It paid off for me in the end, though. Say, I am working on a development on the south side of town and was wondering;" Before Martha could stop him, Tom launched into a long and technical question about a challenge he was having with the plumbing for his new development. When I started an equally long and technical response, Erin kissed me on the cheek and whispered that Martha and she were going to go to the bar to get another drink. A few minutes later, I was still talking with Tom when a movement at the bar caught my eye. I looked more closely and saw that Erin was speaking with a tall, arrogant-looking man who kept trying to put his hand on her lower back, while she forcefully pushed it away. "My apologies, Tom, but could you give me a minute?" Without waiting for a reply, I walked over to where Erin was standing and slipped my arm around her waist, just as the man reached for her for a third time. "Hey, now," I said, trying to defuse the situation with a bit of humor. "At least buy me a drink before you make a move on me like that." His hand recoiled like it had been scalded, and his cheeks colored in anger. I could smell the alcohol on his breath from where I was standing. "Well, if it isn't the plumber," he said in a mocking tone. He must have been eavesdropping on my conversation with Tom, and he clearly wasn't impressed. "What did you think of the show this evening? Actually, that's hardly a fair question since you've probably never been to the theatre before. So, how about something more your level? I wonder what you would think of the bathrooms in my new penthouse. I am sure you would find them very impressive. I will give you a call the next time my toilet gets clogged, and you can come and check them out." He seemed very pleased with his insults, so he continued, a condescending grin on his face. "Anyway, Dr. Anderson, as I was saying, it was charitable of you to let the help see how the rest of us live, and I am sure he is having a good time and all, but it's past time for him to bring his daddy's suit home, don't you think? Why don't you leave him to it, and you and I can go have a drink? And then; who knows? I had dealt with people like this prick for my entire life. When you grow up with one abusive parent and no money, you get used to just about everyone feeling like they are better than you. There was nothing I could do about that, but I learned to use humor as a shield to protect myself and deflect attention. But sometimes humor just wasn't enough. And when humor failed, a more direct approach was called for. "You know, if you're trying to insult me, you're going to have to work a whole lot harder than that. But I doubt that hard work is something that you're too familiar with. I have been working since I was twelve to put food on the table for my brother and sisters. I have been a plumber since I was fourteen; by the time I was fifteen, I am sure I had already spent more time ankle-deep in shit than you've spent doing honest work in your entire life. "I didn't borrow this suit from my father because I don't know who my father is; that's right, I'm a bastard. But I am a bastard by circumstance and not by choice. I was born this way, what's your excuse? And since you asked, the suit I'm wearing belonged to Erin's grandfather, and you're right, I would never be able to afford a suit like this myself. But it's an honor to wear a suit that belonged to a man who loved Erin more than anything in this world. If I am really lucky, maybe she will let me love her just as deeply one day. "I may not know that much about musicals or the theatre, but anything that brings that much joy to Erin is more than fine in my books. So, I am going to continue to have a wonderful time with Erin this evening. Why wouldn't I? I am here with the most beautiful woman in the place, or;" I swept my gaze over to Martha, who was still standing beside Erin, "tied for the most beautiful, anyway." The man's face was now distorted with anger, and he took a step towards me. I stepped forward to meet him, my eyes never leaving his. Before, I had been speaking loudly for the benefit of those around us, but now I was speaking in a controlled voice, pitched for his ears alone. "You can say what you want about me, you prick. I have no respect for arrogant shitheels like you, so I just don't care. But before you ever think about putting your hands on Erin again, without her consent, you would do well to remember the Pipe Wrench Incident. "When I was fourteen, two of the men my mother was having sex with, in exchange for drugs, decided that my sister Alison should join in their fun. She was just nine years old. Luckily, I was home at the time, but I was just a kid, and they were fully grown men. When it was over, they were in the hospital, and I was cleaning my pipe wrench with some WD-40 and a rag." I looked him up and down once, dismissively. "Remember that story the next time you're tempted to touch someone I love." I turned to Tom who had come over to stand with Martha. "I'm sorry I interrupted your lovely event, and please don't hold my bad manners against Erin. I don't want to cause any more trouble, so maybe we should be on our way." Tom held up his hand indicating that we should stay. "Dr. Allen, you're drunk and making an ass of yourself. Please see yourself out. On your way home, please consider what you would like me to say at the next Board meeting regarding your behavior tonight." As a chastened Dr. Allen left the reception, Erin leaned over and whispered in my ear, "So, I'm someone you love, am I?" Before I could stammer a reply, Erin kissed my cheek and led me away to get a drink. We avoided the topic of Dr. Allen for the rest of the evening until we were on our way back to the hotel. "Did you really put two men in the hospital with a pipe wrench?" I chuckled softly before responding. "That part of the story is 100% true. What I didn't mention, though, was that they were both stoned at the time and facing the other direction. They would have killed me in a fair fight." It was close to midnight by the time we made it back to the hotel. We held each other's hands as we walked to the elevators, and Erin leaned against me as the doors closed. "Davis, how would you like this evening to end?" My heart started racing and my hands trembled. "I; I want to be with you. But, I have never;" "Are you still a virgin?" "I kissed a girl once, back in high school, but it was nothing like kissing you. I want you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life, but I don't want to disappoint you." Erin tried to stay calm as she replied. "So, you think that I am some kind of floozy who is going to compare you to all my past conquests?" "No, that's not it at all, I;" "Or do you think that I am so shallow that I will get mad at you if it takes a little while for you to learn what I like?" "No, I don't think that either;" "Okay, then. Here is what's going to happen. When we get to our room, you are going to move some of the furniture out of the way, while I put on some music. You still remember how to dance, right? And then we will take things slowly. I will let you know what makes me feel good, and you will let me know what makes you feel even better. And we will be together, and that's all that matters." And that is what happened. Erin started a playlist of songs that she liked, and we slowly danced together in our room. After the first song ended, she nuzzled into my chest as she loosened my tie and undid the first two buttons of my shirt. When the next song started, she started gently kissing and then licking my chest, causing my manhood to stiffen almost painfully. "Well, hello, my rather large friend. You need to be patient, for now. But if you're good, I may kiss you as well before the night is done." Her sensuous voice, and the image it evoked, were definitely not conducive to patience, and I let out a low moan of pleasure. "That's what I like to hear," she murmured as she untucked my shirt and continued to undo my buttons until she could run her tongue over my nipples and tweak them with her teeth. She looked up at me with sultry, half-lidded eyes. "It's okay for you to touch me as well if you want," she said, as she took one of my hands and slid it under the back of her dress and down to her silky-smooth cheeks. She slid my other hand under the front of her dress so that it cupped her tit, and she sucked in a breath as I stroked my callused thumb over her nipple. "Now some women like it when you;" I kissed her before she could finish her thought. "Erin, I don't care what some women like, the only woman I want is you." "Oh," she replied in a breathy voice. "Well, I like it when you're a bit rougher with my tits. Not right away, I need to be in the mood; like I am now;" She lost her train of thought as my hand enveloped and massaged her tit, squeezing her nipple lightly between my thumb and forefinger as I lifted it away from her body. "Mmmm, yes. Just like that, baby." I felt a wave of heat roll up the fingers on my other hand, so I slid it further down until I felt a small triangle of material, that was slick with liquid heat. I slipped my finger a little further and felt her long smooth cunt open at my touch. "Oh, Baby," Erin whispered huskily into my ear. "We are going to have so much fun tonight." It was strange going back to my regular life after my night with Erin. The time with her was so incredible, and so beyond anything I could ever have imagined, that it didn't seem real. To be continued in part 4. Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts, for Literotica.

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Raul and Caroline warmly welcome guests to Rancho La Bellota, their 2,800-acre guest ranch located in Tecate, Baja, California. Nestled in a valley of mature oak trees, thirty minutes on a dirt road from the Ruta de Vino, Rancho La Bellota is located very close to the border but feels so very far away. Since my first visit in 2022, Rancho La Bellota has become my second home—and my first stop in Baja. Every Slow Baja Adventure begins here. Honestly, I usually linger a day or two after each trip, recharging and resetting before heading home.There's no cell service at the ranch, and the wifi—available discreetly at the Starlink cabin—is easy to forget. Guests quickly fall into the rhythms of ranch life: coffee is ready at 6:30 AM, and after enjoying a cup on the porch, everyone gathers in the sun-washed dining room for a hearty breakfast.After breakfast, it's time to ride. The ranch's horses, all retired from working cattle, are thoughtfully matched to each rider's ability and experience—Raul deftly distributes them with the practiced hand of a Vegas dealer. At lunch, longtime guests playfully debate who drew the best mount and scheme to claim that horse on their next visit.After lunch, a siesta beckons, followed by perhaps another ride or a friendly round of horseshoes. As dusk settles, the candlelit dining room fills with laughter and lively conversation. Raul presides over the table, sparking gentle debates about the news of the day. Later, we retreat to the bar, and Raul pours and imparts his tequila knowledge. The evening winds down by the campfire—bedtime comes early at 9 PM, affectionately called “Baja Midnight.”Raul is a passionate overlander, piloting a custom pop-top 1969 Chevrolet Suburban he designed himself. He frequently welcomes fellow overlanders journeying along the Baja Peninsula, though he gently reminds guests that Rancho La Bellota isn't a free campground. As a proud Baja California native, Raul enthusiastically shares his wisdom and stories, helping travelers get the most out of their Pan-American Highway adventure.Rancho La Bellota is Slow Baja Approved!Book your stay at Rancho La Bellota here.Follow Rancho La Bellota on Facebook.Listen to the 2022 Slow Baja Podcast here.Support the Slow Baja Podcast here.Buy Baja Bound Insurance here.

Welcome back to another episode of the unSeminary podcast. Today we're joined by Scott Landry, Senior Pastor of The Bridge in Ontario. Scott first joined the church in 2013 as a worship and student pastor before later stepping into the senior pastor role. Is your leadership marked by hidden wounds? Do you struggle with vulnerability in your ministry? Are you fighting the wrong battles—externally and internally? Scott recently released his first book, The Fight, a raw, deeply reflective look at the internal battles that shape our lives. Tune in as Scott's story of redemption after hitting rock bottom offers an honest, hopeful picture of what it looks like to stop hiding, confront the truth, and let God rebuild what was lost. Honesty after years of hiding. // After ten years as a “professional Christian”, hiding behind his seminary degree, thriving ministry, external success, Scott’s internal life was crumbling. His marriage ended, his relationship with his daughter was severed, his ministry collapsed, and he hit emotional and spiritual rock bottom. That collapse became the catalyst for transformation—choosing vulnerability and refusing to fake spiritual health. Sharing scars, not open wounds. // Leadership requires discernment about transparency. Scott embraces the principle: share your scars, not your wounds. There is a kind of vulnerability that belongs with counselors, trusted friends, and Jesus alone—and another kind that can help others heal. For Scott, his book, The Fight, became a way to share healed places that might help protect others from making the same mistakes he had. Vulnerability isn't weakness; rather, it's a gift. The act of going first as a leader gives others the courage to do the same. Fighting the right battles. // One of the dangers we face is fighting the wrong battles. Scott uses the story of David and Eliab to illustrate how church leaders often get pulled into conflict—criticism, social media arguments, internal comparison—and miss the “Goliath” right in front of them. We often fight against the people we are supposed to fight for, especially in ministry. Learning to focus on the right fights is essential for healing. The breaking point—and the voice of God. // One of the most powerful moments in his journey is when Scott found himself alone, isolated, and furious at God. In an explosive moment of honesty, he shouted, “I don't even believe in You anymore!” And then he sensed God say: “Then who are you yelling at?” That moment shattered his illusions. His anger, he realized, was evidence of God's presence. God had been waiting for Scott at the place of his deepest anger—the place he had avoided his entire life. Pain as preparation. // Drawing from Joshua's story and the painful preparation before Israel entered the Promised Land, Scott argues that discomfort often precedes destiny. The battles we face now equip us for battles ahead. Instead of asking God to end the fight, ask God to form you through it. Scott’s leadership has since been shaped around embracing discomfort—having hard conversations early, sitting with difficult emotions, and obeying God before understanding. Obedience in writing the book. // Writing The Fight began as an act of pure obedience. Scott resisted God's nudge for a year, until finally acknowledging that he couldn't ask God to bless one area of his life while disobeying Him in another. Once he opened a blank document, the first draft poured out in just three days. The writing became a healing process—one he initially believed was meant only for his children. The surprise has been how deeply his congregation has embraced his honesty and resonated with his story. Visit www.bridgechurches.ca to learn more about The Bridge, and pick up Scott’s book ,The Fight, on Amazon. To connect with Scott, find him on Instagram at @scottmlandry. Thank You for Tuning In! There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I'm grateful for that. If you enjoyed today's show, please share it by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes, they're extremely helpful when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally! Thank You to This Episode’s Sponsor: SermonDone Hey friends, Sunday is coming… is your Sermon Done?Pastor, you don't need more pressure—you need support. That's why you need to check out SermonDone—the premium AI assistant built exclusivelyfor pastors. SermonDone helps you handle the heavy lifting: deep sermon research, series planning, and even a theologically aligned first draft—in your voice—because it actually trains on up to 15 of your past sermons. But it doesn't stop there. With just a click, you can instantly turn your message into small group guides, discussion questions, and even kids curriculum. It's like adding a research assistant, a writing partner, and a discipleship team—all in one. Try it free for 5 days. Head over to www.SermonDone.com and use promo code Rich20 for 20% off today! Episode Transcript Rich Birch — Hey friends, welcome to the unSeminary podcast. So glad that you have decided to tune in. You are going to be rewarded today. We’ve got a great conversation lined up. I have my friend Scott Landry with us. He is the lead pastor at a fantastic church called The Bridge in or just outside of Ottawa, Ontario. Rich Birch — He joined the team in 2013 as the pastor of worship and student ministry and now serves as the senior pastor. Just being totally honest, friends, Scott and I are friends in real life. So it’s, these are actually, I find some of the funnier conversations because it’s like this weird conceit of like, we’ve got microphones between us and all of that. So, but Scott, welcome. So glad you’re here today.Scott Landry — Honored to be here with you, and better yet to be your friend.Rich Birch — This is going to be good. This is I’m really look looking forward to today’s conversation. So, um ah dear listener, I’m just going to pull back the the curtain. I really want you to listen in. Scott is an incredible leader and is doing, there’s lots of different things we could talk about, the way you’re using his his leadership and the church is growing and making an impact. And he’s got a bunch of platinum problems that he’s trying to figure out. And you know, where to get space and all that. But, but actually is none of that I want to talk about today. Actually, earlier this year, Scott released and a book. He wrote a book called “The Fight”. And what we’re going to talk about today is a little bit of the content, what it’s about and what led him to that process. And and then about ah the impact on ah his church. And I really want you to listen to in friends, think there’s a lot we can we can take out of this. Rich Birch — Why don’t you, how do you describe the book? When you, someone says like, oh, you wrote a book? What’s that on? I’d love to hear that. I’ve read the book, friends, so you just so you know.Scott Landry — Yeah, um it’s honestly somewhat of an autobiography, but it’s also a personal therapy session that’s on paper. It’s a little bit of biblical perspective in light of those things. And then I think hopefully pointing people who might read it to some level of personal insight or maybe personal application to both, both my story and also more importantly, the scriptural kind of you know, underlying and all of it.Scott Landry — So yeah, it’s not a self-help book, but I think it’s a self-reflective book. Rich Birch — That’s good. Scott Landry — And kind of hoping that people, yeah, hoping that people might see their story in the midst of mine. And and what what are the things that connect or are kind of similar threads through everybody’s story. And, uh, and, and it was, it it was, it was the cheapest version of therapy I could come up with, really. It was a lot of just kind of looking at my life and trying to make sense of it and and trying to find, find words for feelings I didn’t even know I felt. And, uh, yeah. And so just kind of putting it all out there for myself and also, for my kids and then, you know, the, the, you and the three other people that might read it. So it’s great.Rich Birch — Ah, and that’s not true. A lot more people than that have read it. At the core of this book, and we’ll get into this, friends, but at the core of this book, I would say it’s a high level of transparency. Like you are, you know, you let people in on, hey, here’s some stuff that I’ve been wrestling with, you know, over these years.Rich Birch — And I think most pastors think they should be transparent. That always hasn’t been the case. I’ve been in ministry long enough that there was a time where I think people actually wanted religious leaders who seemed perfect and were like… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …they’re these like, they’ve got their whole life together. That’s not the case anymore. People are looking for, and I think leaders want to be transparent. We want we want to kind of be honest with people. But the stakes sometimes feel higher for some reason. So what kind of led you to the place where you’re like, hey, I want to be vulnerable in a way, ah in written form, with your people, with the community around you?Scott Landry — Yeah, that’s a great question. Honestly, I think it was the fact that I hadn’t been authentic and vulnerable for too long and then lost everything because of it. You know, obviously I write in the book about my journey. I was a pastor for 10 years. I had a a seminary degree and didn’t have an unSeminary one, but I had the degree on the wall and I had, you know, the…Rich Birch — The real one, the real one.Scott Landry — They’re the real one. Yeah. And, uh, but I had all of that. I had 10 years of, of experience standing on stages and preaching the gospel and sharing who Jesus was. And, but the truth is I never really bought what I’d been selling, like in a personal, intimate way. And I wouldn’t say I was good at selling it, but I, but certainly, you know, had been doing it long enough, and and and and in some ways had been successful doing that. like Like good things were happening, ministry was growing, you know people were excited. And so then there becomes this like, oh, well, the lie, it’s amazing the lies that we can tell ourselves and the things that we can convince ourselves of. Scott Landry — So as a professional Christian for 10 years, you know, talking about but all these things and then my own life being a complete mess. And so as a leader, I’m sure other leaders that are listening to this can relate like I’m a dreamer. I always have been, always will be. But I was living a nightmare. And and for I was I had actually become a villain in my own story.Scott Landry — And and and I lost everything. A marriage fell apart. A relationship with my daughter, it was was severed at a very young age. She was four. Ministry was over. Like it was it was all done in an instant. And so 10 years of of hiding and not being, not authentic just for the people, but to my own self. And so when God resurrected my life and resurrected ministry, which I never thought was gonna happen, I was like, that that can’t ever happen again.Scott Landry — And so I wanted to kind of be someone who would lead by going first and saying, you know, and, and so I’ve been vulnerable and transparent from the pulpit. But this was something else. And, and I still am not sure why God prompted me to do this, but, but I would say, I never, I never want to go back to hiding. Scott Landry — And I think, I think we hide for a lot of reasons. I think there’s pastors or leaders listening to this. We hide, ultimately, I think we can give all the excuses we want, but it’s like, who you going to tell? Who you and what are you going to tell them? And and the minute you do, it’s like, well, then I’m going to be disqualified. I’m going to lose my job. Like, so it’s like, we kind of do this thing where I think I shared with you before. It’s like, I’m going to, we we almost force ourselves into a corner and convince ourselves we’re going to fake it till we make it. And ultimately what ends up happening is we fake it till we’re found out. Scott Landry — And and that’s, I mean, we’ve we’ve heard so many stories of that. And I was just like, that happened to me and I would hate for it to happen to anyone else. And I certainly am not going to let it happen to me again.Rich Birch — Yeah, I, friends, you can see why I’ve had Scott on today. There’s a lot here to, I think that all of us need to wrestle with. In fact, one of the, when I didn’t, didn’t even told you this, this is one of the the things I was, when I was reading it, um I had a mentor, a guy I worked for earlier in my career who his life has spectacularly failed. He had to has one of these situations that’s just blown up, and ministry’s blown up and all that. Rich Birch — And ironically, I find there’s ah multiple things about his leadership that I carry with me. And one of the things that I remember him saying very early on was he was like, there’s this interesting dance we do as leaders where we let people in. We know we have to let people into our, into our story, but we only let them in far enough. Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — We only let them in some, to something. And you’re always going to draw that line somewhere. The question is, where do you draw that line? And, um you know, you’ve chosen to to be very open and say, hey, this is my experience. This is who I’ve been here. And you kind of cast it in the book, not kind of, it’s literally called “The Fight”. You cast it in the book as an internal fight, the stuff beneath the service that shapes ultimately who we become. How do you discern, where are you drawing that line? How much are we able to, how transparent can we really be?Scott Landry — Yeah. That’s a great question. I think for me, it’s a few things. I’m not sure who said it. Um, but I, I, I’ve heard it said multiple different ways, but like, you know, you share your scars, not your wounds. So I’ve kind of, I think there’s a lot of truth to that. So for me, it’s like, if I’m still bleeding, that’s for therapy. That’s for trusted friends. That’s for my wife. That’s for Jesus.Scott Landry — But if it’s a wound that has, that is healed, and somebody can see their story in it and it’s helpful for them as either they’re still bleeding or or it could prevent them from getting hurt, then to me it’s worth sharing. Scott Landry — I’ve kind of come to the conclusion in my life, vulnerability isn’t weakness. it it’ it’s It’s actually it’s actually a gift. It’s there there is something to vulnerability in sitting with someone. You and I have done this without microphones in front of us. And we’ve we’ve told things to each other with tears in our eyes. And there’s something powerful that happens. That is a gift that you give someone. And it’s a gift for for what you give them and what you share to them.Scott Landry — But it’s also the gift to them that’s like this could, I could actually do this myself. It’s freeing for me to be given this gift to know it might not be with you, but with someone I could do that too. And, and that gift, I don’t think we truly understand how freeing and the weight that could be lifted by going first in that way. So for me, I’ve just decided that’s that’s who I’m going to be moving forward. So that the book is “The Fight” and because life is a fight. And to me, vulnerability and authenticity are worth fighting for.Rich Birch — I’d love to dig into some of the some of the stuff that you actually talk about in the book, kind of dig a couple layers deeper. You write about the danger of fighting the wrong battles that we can find ourselves in conversations that we we shouldn’t be in. You know, pulling out this… talk us through that. How does that relate? How have you seen that in your life?Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — And then what is that? How do you lead differently out of that? Because, you know, how do we pick the right battles? Talk me through that.Scott Landry — Yeah, I think it’s a personal thing. It certainly applies to leadership as well on a personal level. I think many times we fight, we fight with the people we’re supposed to fight for.Scott Landry — I think we fight amongst family members and, and then, you know, times goes by and you’re like, was that even worth it? I think, so I think those things happen. It’s like, how many fights have you had with your spouse? And it’s like I’m supposed to be fighting with you, not against you. Like we’re supposed to be in this together. And I’ve seen that happen in leadership too. It’s amazing to me how church people can, can hurt each other and and fight with each other and over things like carpet and and song selections and song volume and and preaching styles.Scott Landry — And so for me in leadership, it’s fighting the wrong battles. I talk about it, the David and Eliab thing, and you know, on the, on the battlefield where Goliath is kind of waiting in the wings and it’s really the main event. And, so much could have been so different if David had wasted his time in that argument. And, and he would have been justified in doing it. I mean, his, his character was being questioned. I mean, that’s worth fighting against. And it’s like, David’s like, I don’t get time for this, right? And I think how many of us as leaders spend so much time in the comment section, we’re fighting critics and we’re missing out on the giants. Rich Birch — Yeah.Scott Landry — You know, you, you, like that that in our culture, I think, is a huge one for leaders. And it’s like…Rich Birch — Yeah, big deal.Scott Landry — …oh, we’re so…And and I’m I’m guilty of that. You know we’re the other one I struggle with, I’m sure no one listening to this could can relate to this, but I spend so I spend so much time spending energy on who’s left, and not who’s here or who could be coming. And it’s like, and and you know what? Many times the people who’ve left, they were never really here anyway. Now that’s not to say we haven’t done something wrong at times and hurt people, but it’s like, man, I’ve I’ve spent so much time trying to convince that one person. Cause I’m like, oh, Jesus would leave the 99 to go after the one. And I’m like, maybe not that one. No, I’m just kidding.Rich Birch — That’s good. I like that.Scott Landry — But you know what I mean? Like but…Rich Birch — Yes.Scott Landry — …but we do. And and it’s it’s tragic how how distracted we can become. And and we we miss out in the fights that matter most because of ones that weren’t worth fighting to begin with.Rich Birch — Well, and this this is why we’ve seen a lot of pastors make the decision, church leaders make the decision, like, I just need to step back from social media. Because it’s like, you know, it’s like it’s like it’s set up for us to pick fights with other church leaders. Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — Like, it’s like, you know, that people are out there and there’s and there seems like there are for whatever reason, there are ah brothers and sisters in the faith who, who think that it’s their job to agitate, like that they’re like the professional agitators out there. And it’s like, so then we’re fighting with some other pastor or whatever, but that’s not, that’s like a total distraction from our mission. Like this, who, that person’s going to Jesus is going to be fine. Like, what about, like you say, the people that aren’t here yet. Rich Birch — There’s a moment in the book where you describe kind of being hitting a rock bottom or hitting an emotional bottom and crying out to God. Would you mind opening up a little bit about that? What did that teach you?Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — You know, what God meets us when, when all our strength runs out.Scott Landry — Well, yeah, that the, I mean, that I hope that’s a powerful moment in the book because it was it genuinely the most powerful moment in my life. And this was this was kind of at the crescendo of my my breaking point. So after after, you know, my my marriage and my my my life specifically falling apart. And I kind of lived in a place of isolation. I was living in, in, in, in the North, Canadian North. And, I was, yeah, I was lost. I was, I was angry. Like I had so much anger. And it was, so yeah, I talk about in the book. And, and, uh, I was angry and ultimately I was angry at myself, but I was also angry at God.Scott Landry — And, um, because even after, again, making a mess of my own life. Like He didn’t make a mess of my life. Nobody made the mess of my life. I made the mess of my life. And, but then after that, I was trying to do everything right. And I was trying to, you know, do the right thing, do the right thing. And I was like, God, when are you going to start intervening on my behalf. And so, you know, being the the preacher that I am, I was like, I got all the Bible verses that tell me that you’re going to like now is you’re going to do the redemptive thing. You’re going to show up, you’re going to move, you’re going to fix, you’re going to redeem, you’re going to restore, you’re going to repair, you’re going to do all the R words. And, and nothing was happening. Like it was like… Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — …and, and it was almost as if I, heard and I literally heard nothing. And I’d like to say I didn’t feel anything, but I did. It was just this, this anger that was welling up inside of me, like a, like a pot boiling. And eventually it just, I just became unhinged. Like I was alone. And I was completely isolated. I was in this, you know, empty house and I just started crying out like, and yelling out. And I threw, I threw things. I used words I’ve, I’m ashamed to admit I used. Like, I mean, I was as unhinged as could possibly, I was like, I gotta, if I saw you face to face, I would give you the thing. Like I told him all this stuff.Scott Landry — And, and what I found in that moment was like, and again, I talk about it in the book, but like I yelled, God, I don’t even believe in you anymore. I’m done. Like, like I don’t I don’t believe. You’ve promised me that you would never leave me. You would never forsake me. And that’s exactly what you’ve done. I’ve told people that you would never leave them and forsake them. And yet you’ve done that to me. You are you are dead to me. I don’t believe in you anymore. And I even now, I still feel this when I’m just talking about it. But like, this is, and this is, I know some people are going to roll their eyes at this. But like, genuinely, when I heard myself say that, I felt this like, over me, over my house. It was like this eerie like pause. And I heard, as if I’ve ever heard the voice of God, I heard a voice say, well, then who are you yelling at? And it was like this, like… Rich Birch — Beautiful. Scott Landry — …and in that moment, it was like, my anger was, it wasn’t my degree. It wasn’t my Bible. It was, it was my anger was my evidence that God was present right then and right there. And because my anger was directed at him. And he knew that I was angry with him.Scott Landry — And he met me at the place of my anger. And he was waiting. And this is the part that I still, I can’t do this, what’s what’s in my head, into my heart justice. But it was God was saying, I’ve been waiting for you at this place your whole life.Rich Birch — Wow. Right.Scott Landry — You have been hiding from this anger from your childhood, from your young adulthood, and I’ve been waiting for you to meet me here at your anger. And I’ve I’ve wanted you to know that I would be here waiting for you. And if you met me on the top of the tallest mountain, and if you look me face to face, and if you were to give me the finger, you would find me there waiting because I am waiting at who you really are, not who you’re pretending to be.Scott Landry — And everyone around you, you’ve got them fooled and you’re used car salesman and you can spin the Bible verses and you can do all that other stuff. But I know who you really are. And I’m waiting for you to finally be honest with yourself about who you really are. And now that you finally are, now we can do something about that together.Scott Landry — And that was the moment that God truly revealed himself to me. And that’s when I, for the first time in my life, truly discovered who I was. And yeah, that that’s the moment that I hope anybody who ever meets me or talks to me or listens to me or reads in it, like that’s the part that I long for people to have before it costs them like it costs me.Rich Birch — I just want to say thank you for for going there and talking about that. Because to me, that…and friends, you should pick up a copy of the book. I’m not trying to sell the book, but you should pick up a copy and actually…it’s worth it for this interaction. Because I think as pastors, people who are in what we do, I think we can give, we can put a varnish on all of this. And it and and I love that picture of you yelling at God. And then and then he’s like, well who are you yelling at? Like, what’s, what’s you you know…Scott Landry — Yeah. You don’t believe it. You don’t believe in me, but you’re yelling at me. Yeah. Yeah. That’s it. Yeah.Rich Birch — Yes. Like, I think, I think that is such a, I don’t know, there’s so much there. And I think it’s beautiful that you would open up about that and tell, talk to us here. I feel a little bit bad because I feel like I’m getting you to mine out like one of the best parts of the book, but that, um, at its core, I think would be hard for a lot of leaders to even admit to say, because by this point, friends, again, remember the pre-story, you had been a professional Christian for a long time. Like that that you had built your life around taking money from people… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …and doing this and came to that moment of crisis. So talk to me about the road back from there. So there’s obviously, you know, between there and today, you know, something happened. So talk us through… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …kind of what were some of those key steps? We’re not going to be able to cover all of it, but some of those key things that, that God used on that journey.Scott Landry — Yeah. Well, the immediate one was that I needed to get away. I was living in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories at the time, and I needed to get to Ontario because that’s where my four-year-old daughter was. And that necessity was kind of the you know the spark of of God beginning a redemptive work in my life.Scott Landry — And and then again, had never thought that I would be back in you know ministry in terms of you know a job or a career. I I I and iI wasn’t I had no idea what I was gonna do. And so I just did what I had to do to survive.Scott Landry — And, and, and again, God just, it’s the, it’s, it’s all this cliches. It’s all the songs we sing. It’s, you know, he made beauty for ashes. He, he resurrected things I was certain was dead. And so, and, and there were, he was orchestrating things to, to, you know, provide another way for me to get back into what he called me to do, which, you know, again, I, I, it would take me a long time to, to get into it. Rich Birch — Yes. Scott Landry — But I, again, I think it was just, it was, I just took the steps I had to take because I, and, but they were the steps that he was preparing for me to take, you know? Rich Birch — Yeah, that’s good. Scott Landry — It’s and I, and I see that now, but it didn’t, it just felt like, like necessity then. But it was more than necessity. It was, it was intention. So, yeah.Rich Birch — Yeah, I don’t I don’t know if I’ve said this to you, but I think, in fact, I’m pretty sure I haven’t said this to you. One of the, you know, I mentioned, and and you know the person I’m talking about whose life fell apart. You know, one of my own reflections on that experience as a leader that was in that person’s orbit, pretty close to that orbit, in hindsight, um was we have to do a better, the collective we have to do a better job on helping people to talk about what’s going on on the inside in a way that doesn’t just immediately jump to, hey, like, you you know, you should not think that thought. Like, you know, we we need to be better at that. And I you think you’ve done a gift in this, you know, this with this book. Rich Birch — One of the things you also talked about is this whole idea that comfort can be the enemy of our calling. And I wish you didn’t write about this, but because, ah you know, it’s like convenience is and comfort are organizing principles of culture, right? That is like our entire culture is based around how do I make myself more comfortable? And and it’s true. I agree. Like I’m, you know, I’ve been on the Peloton and I’ve felt discomfortable. And then at the end of that, I’m like, I’m glad I did that in the middle of it. I was hating it. I get that. Talk us through that. What’s that journey been like in this kind of return home? How has that played a, you know, a part of that as a part of the journey?Scott Landry — Yeah, I think I think what I’ve learned is pain is always preparation. And and to me, I use the word always because I don’t see it never being that. I think there’s always something in in in a situation of discomfort or pain that is always preparing you for something that’s next for you or something that’s next for someone else that’s going to require you to be a part of it.Scott Landry — So the pain that I go through a lot of times is is you know preparing my my son or my daughter. Um, and so it’s always preparation for something. And that’s what I write about in the book, the story of Joshua, you know, it’s, it’s the most uncomfortable thought in the world that, you know, the, the, before their greatest battle, they, they’re circumcised, as, as men. And it’s like, oh, you know, that’s, that’s one conversation when the kid’s like a couple days old or eight days old as it was supposed to be. But when you’re, you know, 18, 20, that’s a whole different conversation.Scott Landry — And, Any guy that’s listening right now feels uncomfortable, but that’s, but that’s the point. God brought them to a place specifically to bring pain into their lives because of the destiny that he had for them.Scott Landry — And I think that’s just true in life, you know, it’s, and, and, and going through those things is crucial. It’s always, there’s always something next. And I think that’s the thing that I’ve, and again, I use the analogy of the fight and I tried to do that in the book because I, you know, I’m not a fighter in terms of like, I don’t do, you know, mixed martial arts or anything. I love that stuff and I love watching it. And I love boxing, which the the movie Rocky was part of the inspiration for the book or at least the theme of it.Scott Landry — And I think when you look like look at that stuff, what you always see is fighters fight a fight, so they can fight another fight. It’s like, I want to win this fight because I want to win this fight, but winning this fight sets me up for another fight that has greater reward for me.Scott Landry — And so I’m I’m inspired to win this fight because it’s going to put me or it’s going to allow me to fight on another level and another dimension. And I think, you know, in leadership, I think the challenges or the platinum problems, as you call them, you know, I think those are preparation. They’re not just to solve and the problem itself to be solved. It’s also preparation for a problem that’s coming because of getting through this one.Scott Landry — And I think when we start to see it that way and we can view the fight as like, I always pray that God will cause the fight to end. Like, God, just, just stop. Like, get me through this fight. Instead of praying, God, will you help me become the person in the midst of this fight that I need to be for the fight that’s coming down the road? It, that perspective, I think changes everything.Scott Landry — And if as leaders, we looked at our current challenges and struggles as like, hey, this is just preparation for something bigger. I think we’d i think we’d go into it a whole lot differently. And I think we would be willing to endure it just and with a different mindset. And so, yeah, that’s that’s what I’ve I’ve come to discover my own life through this thing.Rich Birch — Like our friend T.D. Jakes said, every level, a new devil. Like it’s like, right?Scott Landry — Yeah, yeah, totally.Rich Birch — This idea of like, hey, we’re going to get through this, but then that’s just going to open up something else that we got to get through. And I think that’s, I think it’s a great metaphor and is, I see too many people who are, and it could be, you know, people of my age or whatever.Rich Birch — I must, you know, you reach a certain age with enough zeros on the end. You hit a couple of those zero birthdays. And then you look around at your friends and you’re like, the people that, that don’t inspire me are the ones that are hitting the coast mode. Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — That are like, Hey, I’m going to try to, i’m going to try to make life more comfortable. It’s the people that are saying, no, let’s lean in. Let’s look, what can we do next? What is the thing that God’s got for us? I love that. Well…Scott Landry — Well, I tell people, oh, sorry, I was just going to say just…Rich Birch — Go ahead. No, go ahead.Scott Landry — …well, just to to kind of follow up on that. I think practically, what does that mean? Or what does that look like for us? Like, I you know, we talk to our staff all the time, right? I, you know, constantly tell them it’s like, to embrace that means in leadership, you’ve got to have uncomfortable conversations now because you’re going to have them anyway. Rich Birch — Right.Scott Landry — So comfort tells us, oh, like if I just let it go or if I just like, no, you’re you’re just prolonging the inevitable conversation. So have it now. Rich Birch — Yeah.Scott Landry — You know, or or you sit with emotions that you’re feeling. You got to sit with them a little longer before you act on them. That’s not comfortable. We want to just, you know, so it’s that balance. Like it’s, It’s, ah you know, even obeying before understanding, right?Scott Landry — Like, like you’ve got like all those lessons and those places of discomfort, I think are all preparation pieces for the greater thing. So…Rich Birch — Yeah, that’s so good.Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — Yeah. And even in the physical world, like I was thinking about this when I was on my Peloton prepping for this. And I know you have Peloton, that like there was a time when there would be numbers on the screen in front of me that those numbers felt like death. Like I’m like, this is not like, I can’t keep doing this. But then what happens over time is you, your body acclimatizes to that, right? You become healthier. You get your cardiovascular system, your VO2 max grows, and then you’re able to, ah you know, to carry more. And I think that is true in leadership. I think that’s true in our spiritual life. I think there is like a, you know, kind of bearing on the weight of it. And um yeah, I think that’s very true. Rich Birch — Okay. I’d love to pivot in a totally different direction. So, you know, again, friends, you should pick up a copy of the book because I think it’ll be great. It’s spiritually enriching experience for you. I think this book could be helpful in like, there’s lots of conversations where I’m like, I think, I think this could be one of those books you have on your shelf. And you said, Hey, you know what, why don’t you read this book? This might help you think through, you know, might be a real encouragement. So I will, we’ll get to where you can get that in a minute. Rich Birch —But I want to kind of talk more about kind of the meta experience of you as a pastor, writing a book, choosing to do that. When you first introduced me to this idea, I still remembered it. You were like, I do not want to write a book. I am writing a book. Like, and it was like this, I am compelled. It is by obedience that I am, who knows? I think literally the thing you said to me the first time, and it was through tears, was like, I’m not really even sure why like I’m doing this thing, who knows? So talk to me about that obedience. What did that first step look like? Kind of help me ah or understand the process. Talk about that a little bit.Scott Landry — Yeah, it’s funny. You did a great version of me there. That’s exactly how I said it. And that’s exactly how I felt. And I honestly, I still feel that way, even now that it’s out there in in the world. Yeah, it was totally an act of of obedience. Scott Landry — And so for context, two years ago, my family vacations in Florida. I, I have no shame. I mooch off my in-laws who have a condo there. My wife and I both lived there at one, at one point. So it’s kind of like going home. Scott Landry — But anyway, long story, I was running on the beach. And, and I just, I felt like the Lord just stopped me and he gave me two very clear directives for the next chapter of my life. One was about the church and the other was to write a book.Scott Landry — And the first one made complete sense to me. And the other one still makes absolutely no sense to me. I am not an, writer. I’m not an author. I’m not ah like, and who am I? Like all this kind of, you know, who am I syndrome started kicking in and and I was just like, whatever. So I came back two years ago and I got to work on the first one and ignored the second one.Scott Landry — And I ignored the second one, writing a book for an entire year. And then on my birthday in September, I just, I felt like I was, I was genuinely like, how can I ask God to bless this first thing that he’s asked me to do if I’m being disobedient in this other thing that he’s asked me to do? And I, I don’t understand it. So to me, I’m, that justifies why I’m not doing it. And I was like, I’ve got to be obedient to this, whether I understand it or not. So that’s what I did. And so for me, obedience was opening a blank document. And just starting. And that’s what I did.Scott Landry — And it was, and I don’t know if you’ve had this experience, Rich, but it was amazing to me. I’ve had writer’s block for sermons. This poured out of me… Rich Birch — Wow. Scott Landry — …in a way I was not expecting. Like it it was the draft that you read of the book or the first draft of the book was done in a little over three days.Rich Birch — Yeah.Scott Landry — It just…Rich Birch — Well, that surprised me even, you know, cause I remember you were, and that hasn’t been my experience with writing. It’s been like, I have found it like arduous. But I remember you’re like, Oh, I’m going away. I’m going to this thing. And then it was like, Oh yeah, I got it done. And I was like, wow. Like that’s, that’s incredible. That’s amazing. And then obviously then there’s all the editing and you got to actually get it.Scott Landry — Well, yeah, I, yeah, everything after that was way longer than I or wanted it to be um um for sure.Rich Birch — Yes. Yes.Scott Landry — And way more than I expected it to be. But I think, I think I needed to me, to me, it was a piece of, it was a document that was basically like a therapy session that didn’t cost me anything other than time…Rich Birch — Right. Right.Scott Landry — …that I needed to get a lot of stuff off my chest and and off my heart. And it just, I needed to open that document to do it. And I think maybe that is, and it didn’t occur to me until just now, that that may be the very reason that God wanted me to do it… Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — …was to free me of that so I could be released to do whatever has nothing about to do about the book. It just was his way of getting me to get through it.Rich Birch — Yeah. Well, and I remember at one point, um hopefully I’m not outing something. We can cut this if you don’t want me to say this, but I remember at one point you were saying like, even if I just have it for my daughter, that would be a gift, right?Rich Birch — Like it’s like for her at some point to read this would be, um you know, a gift. Actually, I know a friend of mine who has literally done that has written full books and literally got like got them printed and given it just to them for their kids.Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — You know, tens of thousands of words. So yeah, that’s, that’s, ah that’s incredible. So, you know, the writing of books in general, is I find the line between writing and thinking is very blurry. Like it’s like, it’s like almost in my mind, like it’s kind of the same thing. Like it’s the same activity. There’s obviously writing involved, but it’s like, it’s, it costs, it’s a, or it, it drives a lot of reflection, honesty, you know, thinking about all that stuff. Was there anything as you went through this therapy process of writing that actually just surprised you about like, Oh wow. Like that was either my reflection on that was different or, um, you know, we’re, you know, like anything surprised you through the process process?Scott Landry — Yeah, there was a…good question. There was a couple things for sure. One of them was I had to go check. It’s amazing how your memory can be your greatest enemy. I remembered certain things a certain way and then going back and talking to my mother. Again, spoiler alert – I grew up in a single parent household. My mom is my hero, strongest woman ever.Scott Landry — Anyways, and I write about her and, and my life growing up and what she had to do to get us through. So, so going back and, and, and really at as an adult, getting the details of what actually happened and what my perception of what happened happened. It was it was It was much worse than I understood…Rich Birch — Oh, wow.Scott Landry — …and what she endured and went through. And I gained a level of admiration from my, I thought I admired her, but I gained a level of admiration that is a gift. And, and, and every child should have the gift to see their parents the way that I see my mom. She is, she is amazing. Scott Landry — So that, that’s one. The other one was, was I there was some things that I, I learned along the way. I think the first one was that I found was about the, the resentment that I had towards my father. And I, and, and I, as I was writing it, God just kind of revealed this to me that, that adapting, adapting to loss is different than than winning a fight. And I had adapted to the pain of what I had lost. And I thought that was the same thing as winning that fight against resentment. And they’re not the same thing. Scott Landry — And that was that that was a real breakthrough moment for me. I was in a cabin near a ski hill as I was writing that. And it was like i was almost like I was watching a movie, watching myself have a moment. Rich Birch — Wow. Scott Landry — And it was just this this really beautiful moment between God and I. And I was just like, wow, God, thank you for for showing that to me. And then, give me the words to articulate this to my kids. Cause you’re right. I, I did first and foremost, write this for my kids, Emma and Parker. And I wanted them to know, you know, who they come from, what they come from. And, and, and hopefully if I never get the chance to tell them, they’ve got this to fall back on. And then my wife being my wife was like, well, if you’re going to do it for them, you might as well go all the way. So, so that’s, that’s, that’s what we did.Rich Birch — Wow. Okay. So what did this process teach you as you’ve now, cause you’ve launched this book, it’s out in the world. You’ve, you can get it on Amazon. You, you know, it’s, you’ve done a series at the church. You’ve talked about it. You know, if you’ve been public about it. Rich Birch — What did the launching of that teach you about your congregation, about your church? What resonated? What, how, how was it helpful? Any conversations that sparked kind of what was the impact that you’ve, now that you’ve landed this in, in your church?Scott Landry — Yeah. Oh, I just got emotional there thinking about your question as you’re asking it. I think… what I talk about in the book, Rich, is that I’m a very insecure person. And and as a leader, I’m an insecure leader. And always, you know, that that dance between, you know, being authentic about who you are at the same time, the insecurity about that. And it’s, Lisa, my wife tells me all the time, if people knew how insecure you are, they they wouldn’t believe it, because you don’t present that way.Scott Landry — But I was very insecure about doing this thing and the people that I serve, and and and journey together with seeing me in a way that they might change their mind about me. But the people at The Bridge, they love me, and they are so gracious to me. And I what I’ve discovered is that me being honest about who I am is is who they’ve wanted me to be the whole time.Scott Landry — And so everybody that’s read the book, I shouldn’t say everybody, but I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from the people at The Bridge just thanking me for telling my story and then them saying so much of that I relate to, so much of that I needed right now telling me things about themselves that I had no idea was happening in their lives. And this has only been out for like a month. Scott Landry — And so I’ve just gotten overwhelmed with, with people’s responses. And, and I think for our church, you know, one of our values is authentic storytelling And so, um, it just so happens that as a leader, you get to go first Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — And, and, and and in order for that value to be more than something that’s just plastered on a wall or a website, like I had, I didn’t know it was going to be in in the form of a book. But I do see that, that people are opening up in ways that, you know, just in the, in the in the last month to me and in others. So, yeah, but that that’s the thing that that i’ve I’ve seen in our church is just um that that I’ve been insecure about how I’m seen as a leader and and they’ve shown me that that they love me. And that’s the greatest gift, I’m telling you.Rich Birch — Yeah, it’s so cool, man. I love that. That’s, and thanks for being vulnerable in your sharing there. Like I think I, you know, I think there is anyone that’s written has had a book definitely has those feelings on the inside of like, oh man, this was a bad idea like why am I doing this. And like I’m you know, the stuff I’ve written about is nowhere near as, you know, personal and tender as what you’ve written. And I can identify exactly with what you’re saying there around the like, what will people think of me? You know, and it’s amazing. Rich Birch — So trying to extract a bit of, you know, there might be people that are listening and I hope there’s people that are listening in who would think like, maybe I should write a book. Or maybe, maybe they had a similar experience where God told them to write a book and they’ve been dragging their feet. Scott Landry — Yeah, yeah. Rich Birch — What would be a couple kind of just practical takeaways, like maybe things you would say, I wish I would have known this before timelines, collaboration, editing, any of that kind of stuff.Scott Landry — Yeah. Well, the first thing I would do is thankfully what I did, was talk to people who have done it. So you were one of those people and I was hoping that you were going to convince me not to do it. Thanks thanks for letting me down. But yeah, just like, and, and, you know, it’s like, Hey, talk to a few different people and, and, and, you know, what’s their process is and and kind of what they did. Scott Landry — But the other thing that I learned quickly was everybody that I talked to does it differently. And so it wasn’t about figuring out the process. It was about finding my own. Rich Birch — Yep.Scott Landry — And so I kind of leaned on what I know of myself and how I kind of operate. And so that was one.Scott Landry — I think the other one was You know, however much time you think it’s going to take, double it and then add some to that. Like it’s way more time than you think it’s going to going to take.Scott Landry — I would, you know, what do they say? Like find people in your life who tell you what you need to know, not what you want to hear. Like it’s like whoever you’re going to invite into the process with you, like you want to collaborate with people who are going to tell you the truth, not that you’re profound. It’s like, yeah, like I, I wanted this to be the best that it could be for my kids.Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — And that’s why I asked, you know, you and a few others. And so, um, and then I think, you know, the other one is, is really have a clear, at least for me, and I don’t know if this is true for you, but it’s like, I’m sure it is, like, you know who you’re writing to and who you’re writing for. Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — And I think that has to be like, every time I sat down, like after a coffee and was like, okay, here, we’re opening up the laptop again, it was like, I pictured Emma. I pictured Parker. This is who I’m writing this for. It’s like who, so whether if it’s a, if it’s a book for your church, if it’s a book for leaders, you know, whoever that’s for is like have a very clear picture in your mind, who your audience is and and imagine faces that represent those people.Scott Landry — Because I think it, to me at least, is it makes it less about the content and it brings the heart into it. And I think that I hope that and is what engages people more than, because I’m not a writer. But I hope my heart comes through the words that are on the pages. And I think that’s just because I had those two beautiful kids in mind.Rich Birch — Yeah, that’s cool. That’s a great, that’s a great tip. I, the, that idea of focusing who is the person. And I worked at a church that had a very robust practice kind of sermon practice process. And that’s one of the things, one of the questions we would often ask is like, who are you preaching this to? And I loved, cause our lead guy, he would get like really specific. It wouldn’t be like, it’s not like, well, I’m generally thinking 33 year old, you know, guys that are married. He’d be like, Scott Landry… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …you know, like he would like, it’s like he would pick out a specific person. He said, I’m hoping that that that’s who I’m thinking about. And that always struck me as like, I think that’s a part of what gave him great kind of power in his communication because it wasn’t this vague idea of like this, some general target. It’s like, no, I’m talking to this person and I want to, I want to communicate in a way that will move them. I think that’s great when you think about from a book point of view. Rich Birch — Well, I want to encourage people to pick up a copy of the book. But before we get there, any kind of last words about any of this that you want to share? You’ve been so generous with your time today.Scott Landry — No, I appreciate your time. I appreciate you having me on. And if anybody’s gotten to the end of this podcast and is even considering, you know, getting a copy of the book, I guess my heart for you would be to discover what I discovered the hard way, but I hope that it doesn’t require you to to find out the hard way is that that God truly knows who you truly are. And all he desperately wants is for you to be honest about who he already knows you are. And and then he wants to release that person for the purpose that he has for them. And so I pray that it doesn’t take whoever you are, you losing what I lost to find that. I hope that you will be wiser than I was. Learn, you know, don’t learn from your own mistakes, learn from mine. And, and, and, and find yourself because you’re going to find God there waiting. And I hope that for you and pray that for you.Rich Birch — That’s good. That’s great. So we want to send people to Amazon. Is that the best place that they can pick up copies of this book? Is there anywhere else we want to send them just as we wrap up today’s episode?Scott Landry — No, yeah, Amazon, the book “The Fight” is there. Can also follow me on Instagram. Keep updates there – @scottmlandry. Yeah, you can see pictures my sneakers. That’s about it.Rich Birch — It’s great. Thanks so much, Scott. Appreciate you being here.Scott Landry — Thank you, Rich.

With the Mega Dimension DLC out for Pokémon Legends ZA, our resident Pokéxperts gathered share their wishes for the next iteration of the series. Honestly, a lot of the main mechanics have been pretty ironed out over time, so we delve into a bit more of the hardcore fan desire in this one.  Also! If you enjoyed this, we've launched a new watchalong podcast over on our Patreon, Podcastémon Horizons! In it, us 3 are watching and discussing the Pokémon Horizons anime series. The first episode is free right here:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/podcastemon-001-145863303In addition, we've been doing the same with the original Ash run of the anime and are currently in the Johto run. The first 5 episodes are free here:https://www.patreon.com/collection/387580?view=expandedMORE PLACES TO FIND USCrubscribe ► https://bit.ly/CrubcastGet the show early and get exclusive content at our Patreon ► https://www.patreon.com/crubOur Crubcasts are recorded LIVE at https://www.twitch.tv/crub_official every Tuesday at 7pm Eastern, with EXCLUSIVE Pre- and Post-ShowsJoin our Discord ► https://crub.org/joinBlueSky ► https://bsky.app/profile/crub.orgCome join our Steam group ► https://steamcommunity.com/groups/crubclubPodcasts are available on Apple, Google, Spotify, and other platforms are available at ► https://crub.orgSHOW NOTESWe mention Cassette Beasts, so we wanna toss a link for it here:https://www.cassettebeasts.com/TODAY'S CRUBCAST HOSTSChris: https://www.youtube.com/@MykonosFanJustin: https://www.youtube.com/@WorldFamousJtart9Kevin: https://www.youtube.com/@TheGoldenBoltCHAPTERS00:00 Finding a balance between fanservice and never having old characters around05:36 A return to bespoke, crafted areas in the world11:24 Let's refine an old battle gimmick instead of making another new one17:24 Better Pokemon Home communication and a new game plus mode?20:21 Fewer but longer versions of Legends ZA's sidequests24:45 A return to a narrative throughline, not an endgame plotdump27:39 Our "pie in the sky" wishes ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Michigan Weather and Women: Part 2 Dancing, and other forms of sentimentality. Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Connected.  As we finished the prep work, I asked Wilma about her day with Mary. "She is a good kid but is carrying a lot of anger and shame. We spent most of the day getting in touch with that anger. It takes some people years before they can express their emotions through art; it took her about five minutes. But we had to take some breaks to clean up the paint splatters afterward before they stained." "Oh shit! Sorry about that. I can pay to replace anything that;" "Nothing to apologize for; I asked her to express how she felt, and she did it in the way that felt right to her." "Well, I appreciate your taking the time. I am just her big brother; I feel so lost when it comes to parenting." "Being a parent doesn't mean that you know any more than anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean that you know any better. For what it's worth, I think you are doing a fine job with your family. I know that you don't have your parents around to say it, but this old woman is mighty proud of who you are and of how you have stepped up for your brother and sisters. They are very lucky to have you." I turned away so that Wilma wouldn't see me getting choked up. I couldn't remember the last time that someone had said they were proud of me. Soon enough, though, it was dinner time, and Erin came into the kitchen with that same look of amusement on her face. "Sorry to bother the chef, but Lane needs some help that only a big brother can provide." When I gave her a quizzical look, she blushed. "It seems like he is going through puberty, which can pose; some new challenges. When I was assessing his ankle, he; well, indicated his interest in me in a way that can be difficult to hide, particularly while wearing sweatpants. It's natural for his body to react that way at that age, and it's nothing for him to feel badly about, but he was mortified. I think he could use a bit of brotherly guidance and understanding." I went to the living room and saw that Lane was curled up on the couch and looked like he was fighting back tears. "How are you doing, Buddy?" He couldn't even look at me he was so embarrassed. "I am so sorry; I just couldn't help it. I don't know why it started to get bigger, and I wanted it to stop, and it wouldn't and then she saw me, and;" he continued as he fought back a sob. "Can we just go home?" "Erin is a doctor. She knows how the human body works and has seen that kind of thing a hundred times. She isn't mad at you or embarrassed. She just feels bad that you feel so bad. This is just part of getting older and growing up. "Did I ever tell you about what happened in Miss Iron's class when I was a freshman? Miss Iron was a bit of a legend among the male students at our local high school. She was the youngest and prettiest teacher, by far, and even though she always dressed professionally, the clothing style had yet to be invented that could fully conceal her bountiful natural endowment. "Well, I liked Miss Irons a lot. She was one of the few teachers who looked past my difficulty with reading and writing. So, I developed a little crush on her, which was fine until the inevitable; hmm, physical demonstration of my crush; happened in class one day, just before she asked me to collect everyone's quizzes. I tried to delay, I tried to ask a friend to do it instead, but eventually, I had to stand up. It took me until my junior year to live that one down." As Lane listened to my story, he turned to face me and his second-hand embarrassment for me helped to push his embarrassment to the side. "So, what happened?" "Miss Irons was lovely and kind like she always was, but I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me or to get hit by a bolt of lightning. Things would have been fine if she hadn't mentioned what happened to the principal, who called Mom. She didn't find the story funny at all." I hadn't thought of the aftermath when I started telling Lane this particular story, but as they say, might as well put it in four-wheel drive and keep going. "Mom was mad?" "By then, Mom was pretty much always angry. I did my best to keep her away from you and the girls when she got that way, but yeah; she was mad." "Are you mad at me?" "No, Bud, I'm not. In a few years, once your embarrassment has died down a little, I will tease you mercilessly about this because that's what brothers do; and maybe threaten to tell your girlfriend, if you fall behind on your chores or homework. But I will never get mad at you for something that you can't control. And I promise that Erin isn't mad at you either." Just then, Mary poked her head in to tell us that dinner was on the table. "Are you safe now, or do you need a few more minutes." "I'm good. Thanks, Dad." After I helped Lane hobble into the dining room, we got down to the business of eating and teasing each other, but not necessarily in that order. It felt good; almost like what I imagined a real family would feel like. Eventually, the conversation turned to more serious matters, though, and Erin led off the questions. "So, how do you know Gran, and why are you wearing Grampy's favorite sweater? And, for what it's worth, I don't remember him filling it out in quite the way that you do." I blushed a bit as Wilma jumped in. "If Phillip had filled out that sweater like young Davis here, it wouldn't have stayed on him for very long, I can tell you that." "Gran!" Erin exclaimed, laughing while sounding scandalized. "I didn't need that mental image. Heck, none of us needed that mental image." "Oh, don't you worry, Dear. He still filled it out well enough, and it looked equally good on our bedroom floor." We were pretty much all blushing at that point, which I think was Wilma's objective, so I quickly changed the topic. "I am just your mother's plumber. I came out to fix her boiler and then finished the job earlier this week when a couple of parts came in that I needed." Wilma jumped in at that point and added her two cents to my story. "He also brought me my groceries and we had a lovely conversation. He is a real Renaissance gentleman, a rarity these days." Erin looked grateful but concerned. "Did you have enough money to cover the bill, Gran? You know I can help if you need;" I tried to jump in before Wilma could reply. "No need to worry, the bill was paid in full;" "Hogwash," Wilma exclaimed as I tried to finish, turning to Mary before she continued. "Your brother wouldn't let me pay him a cent for the work that he did. Not even for the parts that needed to be replaced! He is a very nice boy but a terrible businessman." I turned to Erin for support. "I figured your Gran has enough going on right now with her health and all. It was the least I could do to help her out." Erin looked at me with a strange expression on her face. I didn't have much experience with women, so I figured I must have made her angry somehow. Most of my interactions with women, including my sisters, seemed to end with them being upset with me for one reason or another, but she didn't sound angry when she spoke. "Thank you, Davis, that was very sweet of you." "Yeah, well; you see, it's just; pass the fish, please." "That still doesn't explain why you're wearing Grampy's favorite sweater. When I was a little girl, I used to curl up in Grampy's lap and snuggle into that sweater as he read to me. He was wearing it when I danced my first dance with him in front of the fireplace. Do you remember that old record player, Gran? You used to bring it out and we would waltz around the living room to Moon River." "I still have that record player here somewhere, let me go see if I can find it." Erin started to protest, but it was too late. "To finish answering your question, Erin, we were here today because your Gran offered to mentor Mary. I tried to politely decline, but your Gran is pretty persistent when she wants to be." "That sounds like Gran. Most of the time when she makes a suggestion, it is really a command." "While we are asking questions, how is Lane's ankle?" "It's pretty badly sprained, and he will need to use crutches to walk for the next couple of weeks. You should bring him to the hospital to get some X-rays done as well, to make sure that he doesn't have any fractures." I could feel myself deflate as she mentioned X-rays. "I'm not trying to be cheap, but are the X-rays absolutely necessary? We don't have the best insurance; we got it through the exchange. I guess it's better than nothing, but the deductible is pretty high, and my other sister, Alison, her college tuition is due soon. But if you say it's important, I will put in some extra hours to make it work." It didn't usually bother me that we were poor. Heck, most everyone we knew, except the McDougals, was poor. But it hit home when you had to tell a beautiful doctor with bright amber eyes that you couldn't afford an X-ray for your little brother unless it was urgent. "Tell you what. I will be working at the hospital in Petoskey tomorrow, so why don't you bring Lane by, and I will take care of him? I will make sure that he gets a pair of loaner crutches for as long as he needs them." "You don't need to do that for us." Erin gave me another one of her looks, this one I was more familiar with; I was pretty sure it was annoyance. "So, just to be clear, you can look after my Gran, fix her boiler for free, and bring her groceries whenever you feel like it, but I can't look after your brother and make sure that his ankle is treated properly?" "Well, when you put it that way, I sound like a bit of a jackass. I'm sorry." "Apology accepted. Come by the hospital at 11 AM tomorrow." Before we could continue, the sound of a 45 playing on an old record player filled the house. You could hear the hisses and pops before Ella Fitzgerald's voice began to sing "Dream a Little Dream of Me." Chapter 3. We got up from the table and followed the music back to the living room. I helped Lane out of his chair while he half-hobbled and half-hopped along beside me. Wilma had set her ancient record player up in the corner beside a stack of old 45s, and she had a faraway look in her eyes as she looked out the picture window toward the lake. "I think it's time for me to ask the prettiest girl in the place to dance," I said, as my eyes swept across the room. "But unfortunately, it's a three-way tie. So, will you do me the honor?" I said as I held out my hand to Wilma. "I haven't danced since Phillip passed. You know, we used to dance together every Friday night. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing, we would always make time to dance at least one song together, even if the music was only in our heads." "I imagine I will be a pretty poor partner compared to Phillip, but I will try not to step on your toes." Wilma and I ended up dancing a slow foxtrot to "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole. She smiled at me as we slowly circled the living room. "You're a very good dancer, young man." "Our mother taught me when I was very young." Before she began with the drugs and men, our mother had been a showgirl in New York and then Las Vegas. When she got pregnant with me, she moved back to Mackinaw City and started teaching ballroom dancing at a local studio. By the time I was five, I was her practice partner of choice, and she always insisted that I lead, despite being only half her size. "The man always leads, Darling, that's just the way of the world." I was hardly a man at the time, but I never disagreed with my mother when she was in a good mood, because I knew it could shift in an instant. So, I learned to dance, and I learned to lead. The memories came flooding back as I guided Wilma into a soft over-sway, and she smiled with delight. "Oh my, you do know how to dance!" I couldn't help but smile back. "I can't take all the credit. I think Phillip must have infused this sweater with his fancy footwork." As the song ended, I took a step back and did my best to give Wilma a gracious bow. "It was a pleasure dancing with you, my lady." "The pleasure was all mine, good sir." I turned toward Mary and held out my hand. She hesitated before Wilma declared, "There are no wallflowers in this house." Mary slowly stood but looked anxious as I took her hand. "Davis, I don't know how to dance. Mom was; she was too far gone to teach me by the time I was old enough to learn." "That's okay," I reassured her. "If there is anything that Mom made sure of, it's that I know how to lead. Just relax, and I will guide you through it." Wilma helped Lane, who had taken over as DJ, to choose a slower song so that Mary would feel more comfortable, and I heard the opening bars of "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. I started to lead Mary through a slow rumba, and she picked up the steps very quickly. She was a natural. I felt a sudden stab of regret as we moved together across the floor. "I'm sorry. I should have made time to teach you to dance. But the last few years, it has just taken everything I have to keep us;" "It's alright. You've had other things on your mind. And look; you are teaching me how to dance, now." As Mary grew more confident, I guided her through a simple underarm turn, and we ended with a dip, which made her giggle and earned a round of applause from the others. Finally, I turned to Erin, who was sitting on the couch beside Lane. I suddenly felt very shy and, for the first time that evening, she looked nervous as well. "Would you dance with me, Erin?" She didn't reply but stood and took my hand. We waited for a moment while Wilma and Lane chose a new 45 and then listened to the pop and hiss as it started to play. Soon, an alto saxophone introduced the Henri Mancini version of "Moon River," and we started a slow waltz. Although there was space between us, it was bridged by an electric charge that connected and drew us together. Even though I spent most of the dance looking over Erin's shoulder, every detail of her beauty was etched in my memory, and I felt a warm breeze pass between us, raising goosebumps on my skin. We barely noticed the pause as the song ended, and a new one began until Etta James began to sing. At last, my love has come along My lonely days are over And life is like a song The song was in 4/4 time, so I switched to a foxtrot and Erin followed as we glided across the smooth wood of the living room floor. I was so caught up in the moment, and in Erin, that I led her through a turn that transitioned into an over sway, before I stepped backward, allowing her to gently pivot into me. Our eyes met and I was lost in them again. Before we could break the spell, a heavy gust of wind shook the house, and the power flickered out. The room went dark, which sharpened my remaining senses. Suddenly, the warmth of Erin's breath on my neck felt like wildfire across my skin. We were motionless for a three-heartbeat eternity before the lights flickered and came back on. I let go of Erin and felt all of my longing and awkwardness rush back in. "Thank you, Erin. That was;" I couldn't finish; words didn't seem enough to express how I felt. "I should check the breakers and make sure that everything is alright, and then we should go. Why don't I wash these clothes and drop them back for you later." Wilma just smiled and shook her head. "If you like them, please keep them. Otherwise, they will just grow old and musty like me." A little while later, we said our goodbyes, but I promised to bring Lane to the hospital the next morning. Wilma told Mary that she would see her on Wednesday after school and again the next Sunday. I was expecting Mary to protest, but she just gave a meek, "Yes, Wilma." I was nervous when I took Lane to the hospital the next day. The deductible on our insurance was high enough that we paid for pretty much anything less serious than a severed limb out of pocket. Erin, however, was as good as her word. After the X-ray confirmed that there were no breaks or fractures in the bones around his ankle, she re-wrapped it and arranged for a pair of loaner crutches that he could use for as long as he needed them. Before we left, Erin asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee in the cafeteria, to which I readily agreed. I gave my phone to Lane so he could amuse himself while Erin and I talked. "I just wanted to say how much I appreciate what you did for Gran. I do what I can, but I spend half my time at the Children's Hospital down in Grand Rapids right now and I am often on call while I am here. I just don't have the time to give her the help that she needs." "Honestly, it's no big deal. I do a lot of work around Good Hart since the bigger plumbing companies don't like to travel that far, so I don't mind looking in on her while I am there. And she seems to have taken a real interest in Mary, so the least I can do is to bring her some groceries and help around the place a bit." Erin pursed her lips and looked like she had just bitten into a lemon. "The 'least you can do' is more than the rest of our family can be bothered to do put together, so thank you." "I meant to ask you about that. What did your Gran do to end up so isolated from the rest of your family?" "The rest of my family is; there is no nice way to put it, they're snobs. None of them have any interest in spending time 'up north' as they call it, and they can't wait for Gran to move into a retirement home and die so they can get their money and forget about this place. That's why no one comes to visit Gran anymore, even for Thanksgiving; it's part of their campaign to convince her to sell her land to the McDougals. Before you came along, I thought they were going to succeed." "Well, excuse my language, but fuck them. I don't know Wilma that well, but I will do what I can to make sure that she gets to spend her remaining days in the place that she loves." "That's easy to say, but harder to do once the McDougals and their minions start coming by your place, offering you money and making threats unless you back off." "Well, if they do, they will find out what every teacher who ever taught me learned the hard way. I am bad at taking orders and even worse at following instructions. I am not afraid of the McDougal boys." My exclamation brought a smile to Erin's pretty face. I decided that I would be willing to do quite a lot to see that smile on her face again. But there was one thing I still didn't understand. "Why aren't you on board with the rest of your family? You must be under a lot of pressure to abandon your Gran like the rest of them." "My father, Gran's youngest son, Max, died shortly after I was born, and my mother moved the family to California where she remarried into a family that had a little money but a great deal of pretension and ambition. My mother picked up that insatiable need for money and status like it was a virus. "When I was a child, my mother and stepfather spent summers and holidays traveling the world, staying in places where children weren't welcome. Although they wanted nothing to do with Gran and Grampy and their 'vermin-filled shack in the middle of nowhere', they were more than happy to leave me with them while they were away. "They would put me on a plane to Grand Rapids while they jetted off to their spas and their fine dining. Gran and Grampy were the only people who cared for me, and they became my whole world. "When I was 14, I was staying with Gran and Grampy, and I caught a fever that was so bad that I nearly died. It was a pretty grim time. My parents even thought about flying home from Monaco to be with me. They didn't, but it was the only time in my entire childhood that they considered it. But I will always remember how kind the doctors and nurses were to me when I was sick. That's why I became a pediatrician and moved home." "Isn't California home?" "Home is where the people that you love are, and so this will always be my home. Or it will be until Gran passes on, anyway." We sat in silence for a while, sipping our coffee. Before long, it was time for me to go. "This might sound crazy, but since the rest of your family aren't going to be here to celebrate Thanksgiving with your Gran, how about you and I try to give her one more Thanksgiving to remember." Erin brightened at the idea, and the smile returned to her face. "That would be amazing! Why don't I give you my number, and we can figure out how to make it happen!" Chapter 4. For the next few weeks, Mary continued to meet with Wilma on Wednesdays and Sundays. I would often take the opportunity to bring her groceries or other supplies while I dropped Mary off and, if the weather was agreeable, do some fishing. Once he could walk without crutches, Lane came along as well, in quest of another monster steelhead. Unfortunately, all he caught was some yellow perch and rock bass, but it was nice to spend the day with him down on the dock. I saw Erin a few times at Wilma's as we made plans for Thanksgiving. She seemed to particularly enjoy talking with me while I split firewood out by the shed. It was hard work, and I was often drenched with sweat by the time I was done, but she didn't seem to mind. And she worked while we talked, helping to stack the larger pieces and collecting the smaller ones for kindling. The one point of contention in our plan was how Erin would get to Wilma's on Thanksgiving Day. She was slated to work a 12-hour shift the evening before, ending at seven in the morning, and she worried that if she went home to rest, she would sleep through the entire day. Her solution was to drive out to Wilma's after her shift and catch a few hours of sleep when she got there. I thought that driving that far after working all night seemed like a terrible idea, so I offered to give her a ride instead. She did not like that one bit. "I don't want you to make an extra trip when I am perfectly capable of driving myself." It sounded like she was digging in for a fight, so I tried a different tactic to convince her. "I need to stop at the hospital anyway, to return Lane's crutches. I can kill two birds with one stone and pick you up at the same time." She didn't buy that rationale either so, reluctantly, I resorted to the truth. "I am sure you're a great driver, but if you drive yourself, I will be up that morning anyway, worrying that you are safe. I know it doesn't make sense, but I have been looking after my siblings for so long its second nature for me to worry, and I can't seem to turn it off. So please, let me pick you up. But for me, not for you. And do you know how rarely I get to be gallant these days? I will feel like your knight in shining armor." That finally got a laugh from Erin. "Alright, you win. Why don't you pick me up at 7:15 at the hospital? You can sweep me up onto your trusty steed and carry me away to Gran's house." "If by trusty steed you mean rusty old GMC truck, then it's a deal." The morning of Thanksgiving dawned chilly and gray, with a cold wind blowing in off the lake. I was up early to make sure that I made it to the hospital on time, and I was listening to the local AM country station as I drove when the DJ started his break. "A happy Thanksgiving to all our listeners. If you're on the roads today, be aware that there is a severe weather warning in effect for the area north of Cadillac and into the upper peninsula. We're expecting a combination of high winds and lake-effect snow to make driving hazardous, and you should be prepared for possible power interruptions and outages." I was relieved that Erin had agreed to let me pick her up and that I had invested in good snow tires for my pickup. The snow had already started by the time I reached the hospital, and I pulled my jacket tightly around me as I went inside. I dropped Lane's crutches with the duty nurse and waited for several minutes before Erin arrived. She looked exhausted, and the gentle smile that I loved was nowhere in evidence. "Hey, Erin. Are you okay?" "I'm fine. I just had a long shift, but I am ready to head out." She came up to me and gave me a hesitant look. "Actually, I could really use a hug if that's alright." Without a word, I wrapped my arms around her, and she buried her face in my sweater. Hidden from the world by the folds of my jacket, I felt her body start to shake. The tremors lasted for a minute before they gentled and then finally stopped. I looked out the window at the falling snow to give her a moment to compose herself. "Let's head to Gran's house. This weather isn't going to get better any time soon." With that, we got in my truck and started the drive up to Good Hart. Erin sat in silence and looked out the window. "If you want to talk, I probably can't help with doctor problems; but I am a good listener." It took Erin a minute before she opened up. "Most of the time, I love being a pediatrician. Kids come to me scared and in pain, and I help them to get better. But sometimes, it's just too much. Around midnight last night, an ambulance brought in a mother and daughter. Her boyfriend had been drinking; and he got violent. The little girl tried to protect her mother and; and; "It's one thing to treat a grown woman, you know. I mean it's still pretty bad, but; that little girl. Fuck. One thing I've learned from this job is that monsters are real." I wanted to give Erin another hug, but since I was driving, I just reached over to take her hand. "I'm sorry." My words seemed so incredibly inadequate; considering what she had just dealt with; but she squeezed my hand. "Thanks for listening." We drove on in silence, and by the time we pulled into Wilma's laneway, Erin was gently snoring with her head against the window. I stopped as close as I could to the house before lifting her out of the cab. She tucked her head into my shoulder, and I carried her inside, where Wilma was already busy in the kitchen. She came out to greet us, and I spoke to her in a low voice. "Erin had a very tough night. I think some rest will do her a world of good." Wilma helped Erin out of her boots and coat and then showed us through to the guest bedroom, where I laid Erin on the bed. The room was filled with pictures of Erin from when she was younger; standing on the dock with an older but handsome man who I guessed must be Phillip, curled up in a ball on the sofa, book in hand, and smiling in her cap and gown as she graduated. In each picture, I could see hints of the beautiful woman she would become. By the time I returned with the rest of my family, the storm had begun to pick up. Snow drifts were accumulating against the house and shed, so we brought everything with us into the house that we might need for the evening. It took some convincing, but Sharon and I took over in the kitchen while Wilma, Alison, Mary, and Lane started a game of Scrabble in the living room. Once the preparations were well underway, I laid in as much wood for the fireplace as I could. With the high winds and heavy snow, I was worried that we might lose power, and I wanted to make sure that we prepared, just in case. The radiators and boiler would provide almost no heat if there was a prolonged power outage, but the fireplace had a high-efficiency insert that would keep the house warm, as long as we built up a good bed of coals. Lane insisted on helping me with the firewood, and after a half dozen trips to the woodshed and back, we both looked like live-action versions of the abominable snowman. Wilma showed some sympathy for our plight, while our sisters had a good-natured laugh at our expense. By the early afternoon, dinner was almost ready, and Wilma sent me to wake Erin. She had barely moved since I had tucked her in and seemed so peaceful in her sleep. I leaned over and spoke softly to her until she opened her eyes. After a moment of confusion, she broke into a shy smile. "I guess we made it to Gran's." "That we did, we got here close to six hours ago." Her eyes flew open, and she tried to get up until I reassured her. "We've got things under control. Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Take your time; and maybe give yourself a few minutes for that pillow line on your cheek to fade." I turned to leave, so she could have some privacy, but she reached out and took my hand. "I just wanted to say thank you again for earlier. I am not used to having someone I can talk to; someone I can trust. It's only been Gran and Grampy, and me for so long, and I didn't want to burden them. But I shouldn't have dumped my troubles on you like that, we barely know each other." "I was just glad that you felt comfortable enough to share how you felt with me. Today was probably the worst day of that little girl's life. I am sure she was terrified, confused, and in a lot of pain. But what she'll remember is the angel who comforted her and treated her with kindness and love. "I need to get back to the kitchen, or I will burn something. Fair warning, this is my first time cooking a Thanksgiving turkey, so you may want to load your plate up with fixings and sides, just in case." As it turned out, the turkey wasn't perfect, but it wasn't that bad, and the gravy was tasty as heck (probably because Wilma made it.) We had mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, and peas as sides, with the obligatory cranberry sauce (from a can). The conversation at dinner was a chaotic mixture of laughter, stories, and the kind of teasing that you only get when you bring five siblings together over a hearty meal. It didn't take Erin long to choose a side in the battle of the siblings, and soon, it was the four girls against Lane and me, with Wilma as our impartial referee. I don't know how Lane felt, but for me, it was worth being ganged up on just to see Erin and my sisters smiling and laughing. Although he tried to hide it, it was clear that Lane still had a bit of a crush on Erin, so I imagined that he was just fine with making her smile as well. For dessert, Erin brought pumpkin and apple pies that she had bought at the bakery in Petoskey, which we ate with some vanilla ice cream from the local creamery. I was sure there would be some dessert left over, given the amount that we all ate for dinner, but somehow, we finished it all. Everyone pitched in with the dishes and then we moved to the living room where we played cards and some more board games. As we played, Mary asked Wilma about some of her more memorable Thanksgivings, and she got a faraway smile. For the next hour, she regaled us with stories of humble times with the kids by the lake and, in later days, fancier celebrations with some of the families that Phillip befriended while they sat for portraits. As our last game of Scrabble ended, Sharon looked at Wilma with a mischievous grin. "Mary was telling me about the dance party that you had a few weeks ago here in your living room. Rumor has it that my big brother can dance! I was hoping, if you asked him nicely, that we could all see him in action." Wilma got up from her chair and started to move toward the hall closet. "Lane, come along and help, please. I am far too old to be carting around a heavy record player." Lane hopped up and went to help Wilma, while the rest of us began to move the furniture out of the way. As Lane set up, Wilma admonished the rest of us. "Remember, there is only one rule about dancing in my house: no wallflowers." With that, Lane started the first song, and I asked Wilma to dance. Alison followed suit, asking Lane to dance, and soon she was teaching him how to lead. Finally, Erin stood as well and gave a deep bow to Mary. "It would be my honor, enchanting lady, if I could have this dance." With a laugh, Mary stood, and soon we were all moving around the room, trying not to bump into each other or step on each other's toes. For the next hour, we danced, laughed, and pretty much forgot about the world outside. Lane even got up the courage to dance with Erin, although he stayed so far away from her that you would have thought she was radioactive. I took a couple of turns with Erin and was amazed at the way she melted into my arms. When we danced, there was a wave of knowing smirks from my sisters and a pleased smile from Wilma, but I didn't care. I could have danced with her all night. Unfortunately, during my third dance with Erin, the real world decided to interrupt our festivities. Erin and I had just started a turn when the power went out. I instinctively pulled Erin into my arms to protect her, and then I leaned in through the darkness and kissed her. She returned the kiss, ran her hand through my hair, and let out a small moan. "Do you think the power will come back on?" Lane's question cut through the fog of my lust and longing. "Probably not until sometime after the storm has passed. So, we should all plan on spending the night here and then figuring things out in the morning." With Wilma's agreement, we got settled in for the evening. After some protest, Wilma agreed to sleep in the guest room since it had a direct line of sight to the thermoelectric stove fan that helped circulate the heat from the fireplace. My three sisters slept in Wilma's bed, both to share body heat and because it was the larger of the two beds in the house. Lane slept on the couch, while Erin and I slept on the floor in front of the fireplace. Erin laid out an older sleeping bag, for comfort, with some bedding and blankets on top. In deference to Lane, she waited until she was under the blankets before she shimmied off her pants, while I stoked the fireplace. I made one more pass through the house, to check on Wilma and my sisters, but it seemed they had already fallen asleep. Even Lane had passed right out, despite his proximity to the pants-less Erin. I set a quiet alarm on my phone for two-hour intervals so that I could get up and add wood to the fire, ensuring that it would last all night. Looking down at the makeshift bed where Erin was watching me, I suddenly felt incredibly shy and anxious. I took my sweater and pants off as quickly as I could and set them on a chair before crawling under the blankets next to her. I didn't want to be presumptuous, so I stayed as far over to one side as I could. I had just settled in when I heard Erin's soft voice from behind me. "You can come a little closer. I won't bite, you know." My brain froze with indecision, but my heart knew the score and it started beating at a furious rate. I heard her shifting behind me, and I felt an arm wrap itself around my chest. My senses were on fire. The faint scent of lavender from her hair washed over me like a field of wildflowers. "Was everyone safe when you made your patrol?" I slowly rolled over so that my forehead was lightly touching hers, and I could see the flickering of the fire reflected in her eyes. "I know it's silly, but I can't sleep until I know that everyone I love is safe. Even when she is away at college, Alison texts me each night to let me know she is okay. I will make another round later after I stoke the fire." "It's not silly at all; I feel safe when I'm with you too.  Why don't you tell me your story, Davis Crawford." She must have felt me stiffen, and she started to lightly brush her fingertips through the hair on the back of my neck. "You don't have to if you're not comfortable with me yet, but I would like to hear it someday when you're ready." We sat in silence for another few minutes, while the tension slowly drained from my body. It had been over 15 years; since before the drugs and alcohol got too bad with my mother; since someone had touched me with kindness and love, and I was helpless before the gentle onslaught of Erin's fingers. Eventually, I started talking. "Things weren't always bad with Mom; I remember there being more laughter than anger when I was little. She was very beautiful, and there was a procession of men in her life, even back then, but most of them treated me well. I guess they wanted to make a good impression on her. When I was four or five, though, she took up with a man from a rougher crowd. She started in with the drinking and drugs, and they never really stopped. She got pregnant with that man, and Alison was born. From there, it was like a rock sliding down the side of a hill. It starts slowly, but soon it's rolling downhill in leaps and bounds. "After Sharon was born, fewer men came around. My mom was still beautiful, but how many guys are interested in a single mother who has three kids from three different men? I had just turned ten when she left me in charge for the weekend and flew down to Vegas with some friends from the club where she waitressed and danced. A bit more than nine months later, she had Mary. "The one thing I can say for my mom is that she mostly managed to stay clean while she was pregnant. But once Mary arrived, the hill got steeper, and the rock started plummeting downwards. As fewer men showed an interest in her, Mom had to blame someone, and we kids were handy targets. That's when the hitting started. I learned pretty quickly that she didn't much care who she hit, so I made sure that I was always close at hand, to try and spare the little ones. If she was going to throw plates at someone, I figured it had better be me. "By the time I was 12, I was the only one caring for my siblings. When Mom came home drunk or stoned after her shift at the bar, I would steal enough of her tip money to buy food for my sisters' lunches. That was the worst of it, and I didn't think that we would make it through. I am not sure we would have without our landlord, Mr. Johnson. "He lived in the apartment below us and would take us in on the weekends when my mother was out with her boyfriends, feed us dinner, and let us watch a little television. I never found out why he lived such a lonely life, but he helped me keep our family together until I was old enough to handle things myself, so I will always be grateful to him." I could see tears starting to pool in the corner of Erin's eyes. "You don't need to hear the rest of this;" Erin stopped me mid-sentence by kissing my lips. "You never got to be a kid, Davis. My whole life I felt sorry for myself because my parents didn't want or care for me, but at least I had Gran and Grampy. You had no one." Even though we were lying on an old lumpy sleeping bag on a rough hardwood floor with only a fireplace for heat, I had never felt safer in my life than I did with her right then. To be continued in part 3. Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts, for Literotica.

A Holiday Haunting: Part 2 Jack and Erin deal with new problems. Based on a post by zeon 67. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. Jack's mouth painfully stretched open. He then released a long gasp, and his eyelids pulled back; he was now forcibly awake. Turning to his side, he found himself partially alone. Lucy was still there, deep in sleep, but no Erin. He called her name, but there was nothing. Putting on sweatpants and a t-shirt, Jack searched the house for her. He yelled her name and again there was no reply. It had never worked like that before, but Jack was desperate. He questioned himself, Lucy, the s ance and everything else. Worried that he had caused her banishment, Jack needed to interrogate the medium. But then the doorbell rang, and there was a knock at the door. Opening it, Jack saw a delivery man with a clipboard and a massive box. Annoyed that the new dryer he bought on Black Friday, had finally arrived a week late, he signed the paperwork but felt cold. Jack turned around but saw nothing. Terrified that he was losing it, Jack turned back to the delivery man. The delivery man wheeled the dryer in and took the clipboard off Jack, thanking him. The man then looked past Jack and said, "Morning, Miss." Behind him, Erin stood. Her mouth ajar and stood still, but wasn't her typical ghostly self. She looked like she did last night, her skin a pale pink while her hair was an auburn shade. Erin had the same clothes that Jack had seen for the previous fifteen years. But something was off. Erin had lost the white apron that covered most of the front, and the first two buttons of her collar were undone, possibly scandalous in the 19th century. "He saw me. He saw me." Erin said, walking towards the open door. She ignored Jack and edged closer to the outside, the fresh air, sounds of birds and something new to see calling her. Erin turned back to Jack and said, "Come with me." She then took one step outside and immediately disappeared. "Fuck!" Lucy screamed from upstairs.   A post-S ance exam. They sat around the coffee table, all struggling to think of anything to say. Jack and Lucy had run some basic tests on Erin. She could be seen but not be touched, but cameras could capture her. She couldn't feel anything, but could sit in a chair without phasing through it. Should she take a step outside the house's confines, Erin would instantly vanish and reappear in the attic. But Erin could change her appearance, though only subtly. Like she could roll up her sleeves, undo a button or two and play around her hair. That was a relief to Erin; she had only worn hair in a bob because Mrs. Franklin demanded it. "So, what now," Jack said, taking a sip of coffee. "I; I don't know," Lucy shook her head, "This is way out of my area of expertise. Honestly, I didn't even know that this could happen." "Would it be so wrong if I stayed like this?" Erin said, "I can speak and I can be heard." "But you can't touch anything." Lucy said. "And my parents are going to be back soon. Then it's Christmas and the house is going to be filled with people. I can see my mom and my aunts instantly freak out if they saw you float. And, I have to go back to Boston. I can't leave you like this." "I know." Erin then looked at Lucy and asked, "Can we not do the s ance again?" "Hell no." Lucy shook her head, emphatically underlining her point. "What we did and what happened, it's not the same. Jack was supposed to talk to you and help you move on. Nothing about sex. We did something, maybe something wrong, maybe something right. But it pulled you into this plane. If we do it again, who knows what happens to you?" "Then what next?" Jack asked. Lucy pushed her chair back and stood up. She madly scrolled through the contacts on her phone. "I need to speak to someone. Be back in a sec." Erin followed Lucy out of the room with her stare. She paused for a moment, then leaned in towards Jack. "We should talk." "Yeah." Jack said, trying to hide his nervousness. "I never thought that I would be here. I'd be a banshee, roaming this house until the Last Judgement. I accepted that. Now I can be seen by anyone. I can be spoken to and listened. I am lost and scared. What happens to us?" Jack rested his hand on over hers, sinking through her tangible form and said, "I'll work something out. Don't worry. My dad did say he is thinking about selling the house. Maybe I take it." Erin dropped her head down and said, "I cannot let you do that. Live your life with a spirit. It will be dull. And there is so much I want to see." Leaning back, Jack smiled back at her. This was the first time he could find out who Erin really is, as a person. "Like?" "I want to be in the sky, flying across the ocean. To travel to places that I have only seen briefly in those windows. The Grand Canyon, swim in an ocean and visit Kinsale." "Kinsale?" "It is where I was born. I left when I was twelve. I always wished that I would see the village again." "Anything else?" Erin looked away, like she was thinking; then turned back to Jack and said, "I want to eat food that hadn't been boiled. Wear something luxurious. I want to see a movie. And to kiss you again." She smiled. Lucy walked back into the room. She glanced at Erin, then at Jack, realizing something was up, but began talking. "Okay, I spoke to a friend. She knows a lot of left-hand path rituals, some chaos magic. You know, maybe sigils and secret names?" she said, nodding as if they knew what she meant. "She knows a couple of necromancers." "Necro-mancers?" Erin asked. "They talk to the dead. My friend's going to reach out and get us a name. Hopefully, one who just wants to talk to the dead and nothing more. A necromancer will know what to do." "So, we just wait?" Jack asked. Lucy nodded.    Home Alone. Days later, Erin stared at the TV. She was alone as Jack had to deal with the headache of Christmas preparations. He didn't want to leave her by herself, but Erin insisted that it was okay. This was something that Erin knew she had to get used to. She thought back to how difficult her life was before the s ance. Erin could easily take her current form as a constantly visible ghost, than that hell. One plus was now she could spend time with Jack. Last night, they spent hours talking. Jack told her everything that had happened to him since they last spoke. Erin was confused by his job, working as an engineer but with computers and clouds. Jack also showered her with questions about her own life. Her eyes widened after each question, and she grinned madly back at him. She told him about her life in Ireland, traveling across the Atlantic and working in Boston. Jack showed her current photos of how the city changed. She was amazed and saddened, seeing some of her favorite places of the city disappear. There was one question that Erin wouldn't answer. Jack had asked her where she would go, when she wasn't haunting the house. When he used to see her, it was only for an hour at most, then Erin would just fade away, and Jack would have to wait days or weeks to see her again. Erin couldn't say anything; she just looked away. She finally said it was difficult and Jack quickly changed the subject. The channel that Jack left the TV on was now playing another documentary about the World War. He told her it was a good idea for her to get used to the twenty-first century, but Erin couldn't stomach any more documentaries about the war. She understood Jack's reasoning; the other night, she cried in happiness that Ireland had become independent. A knock on the door turned Erin's head. There was no way it could be Jack. She could hear keys rattling and the door slowly open. Someone then called her name, a female voice. Erin phased through the walls to see who it was. She found Lucy standing outside, darting her head in and out. "Fuck!" Lucy stumbled back as she saw Erin appear, covering her mouth. She took a couple of deep breaths and then said, "Hi; Erin," Lucy nervously smiled, "Where's Jack?" "He has gone to a store called Walm Art. He will return in two hours' time, I hope." "Oh." Lucy paused. "Err, can I come in?" "Sorry," Erin stepped aside and allowed Lucy to enter. "Did Jack give you a key?" "Yeah," Lucy said, removing her jacket. "He swung by and said that I should have it, just in case." Muscle memory dictated her to ask for Lucy's coat and offer her a drink. Erin tried to hide her embarrassment while Lucy just smiled. Erin then followed her into the living room, trying to think about why she was here. She didn't like the idea that Lucy could enter the house whenever she wants. Erin knew the psychic was attracted to Jack; experiencing Lucy's feelings during the second time she possessed her. Erin couldn't help herself but checkout the medium's curvy frame as Lucy walked into the living room, hiding her disappointed face. "I have some news, but I will wait until Jack gets back. It'll be easier to explain. But it's good." Lucy grinned. She sat down on the sofa and asked, "What are you watching?" "A documentary about World War 2?" Erin said, not entirely convinced. "They call it World War 2 but do not say anything about a previous war." "Yeah, I can't remember what World War 1 was about. Might watch Wonder Woman again. Do you mind if I change the channel?" "Please," Erin replied, "It's depressing." She then joined her on the sofa. "So, how are you dealing with the modern world?" Lucy asked while flicking through the channels, stopping on at E. "It's pleasant. Yesterday, Jack showed me around the house and I was amazed. A dishwasher, a washing machine and an automated carpet cleaner. Those were most of my duties and would take half of my day. He showed me um moving photograph on his phone of places he has been to. I want to see them with my own eyes." "I'm guessing back in the 1880s travel was impossible." "Only by train or steam. Now you can fly anywhere," Erin smiled. "But what I'm most astonished by is being a woman. I died before I could vote and now a woman can run for President. I could only be a maid or work in a factory. Now there's so many possibilities." "That's really cool," Lucy said, smiling. Erin felt herself being distracted by the TV. She turned her head and saw a dozen of scantily-clad women grinding against men, who were topless and had bodies like circus strongmen. Her mouth dropped, watching as a woman sing to the camera. Lucy saw Erin's stunned expression and quickly changed the channel. "Sorry." "It's fine," Erin replied, "There is so much that is different. I need to adjust. It's just that if I were to go to a beach, I was expected to wear bloomers that covered my limbs. It is difficult to get used to being in an age were flesh is allowed." "I understand. It's okay to take your time." Lucy said. She then leaned closer and asked, "Sorry if this sounds idiotic. But you okay with me in general? Being a medium, the drinking and the sex before marriage?" Erin smiled and said, "I have lived in this household for over a century. My eyes have been open to many strange things. At first, I prayed for my soul and I thought my impurity was the cause of this life I was to live. As the years passed, I found myself losing that idea of sin. Families lived here, they indulged in vices that I found wicked. But they were still loving and moral people." "Wow," Lucy smirked and said, "One day, you must tell me what you saw over the years." Going back to Lucy's words and all the things she experienced got Erin thinking. In the hundred-odd years she had been trapped in this house, she had caught numerous couples screw late at night. Some were unmarried, others were of different races, which shocked her, but Erin found them loving, which just compounded to her jealousy. Erin had also seen couples have different types of sex, none like the ways she was told or experienced. Her fianc had been drunk during their entire courtships; she doubted he would have been sober enough to cock-stand. Robert just pushed her down on a billiards table and had his way with her. Erin thought she had enjoyed that, but it was nothing compared to what Jack made her feel the other night. It felt unusual, but she loved every moment of him touching her down below. "Um," Erin looked away before opening her mouth, "Lucy, can I ask you something? It is delicate." Lucy shrugged, "Sure." "Jack. He laid me down and used his tongue; on my quim." Erin said blushing. "Is this normal?" "Yeah," Lucy blurted out. "Sorry. Most guys do that now. If you're lucky." She smirked at Erin, who remained nonplussed. "Has sex really changed that much?" "One sec," Lucy stood up and skipped to the kitchen. She returned ten minutes later with a bottle of wine and two glasses. "If we're having girl time, we need wine." Lucy popped open the bottle and poured, then stopped. "Shit, I forgot. I'm sorry. Are you okay if I drink?" "Please," Erin replied, smiling. "My church said it was a sin. They encouraged to be teetotal. The man who I was supposed to marry died due to it. When I tasted wine and became hysteric. I thought that was the reason I was stuck in this house. Now I'm not sure. But I would love another taste." "Hopefully soon." Lucy then took a long sip and said, "Okay ;  sex. Sex is nothing like you have experienced in the 1800s. There are handjobs, blowjobs, anal, bondage, choking and group sex. What Jack did to you ;  I admit I'm jealous. Because most guys won't do that, but still expect you to blow them." "Blow?" "You put a penis in your mouth and suck on it." "Oh Christ," Erin muttered. Lucy then lifted up her phone, and loaded up a website. She then stopped herself, glanced at Erin and typed something else like she had changed her mind. She clicked on a video thumbnail and scooted closer to the spirit. "This is sex now." Erin moaned, watching a young blonde who looked a passing resemblance to Lucy, on a bed. She was nude and smiling at a tattooed man. She quickly stripped the man of his clothes, and then the couple kissed, rolling on the bed. Erin noticed that the woman was completely bare in the between. The man then kissed the woman in the cunt, just like Jack had done to her. "Wow," Erin moaned, "She looks like she is really enjoying herself." Erin felt the need to shift her weight on the sofa while she continued to watch. "Well, she's an actress. I should tell you that this is fake. But you need to know that it's okay to like sex and how you can enjoy it." Lucy then paused as they both watched the blonde actress get on her hands and knees. "That's the doggy-style position, very popular and feels great." Erin pursed her lip like she was trying not to laugh. Everything she had been taught, from her mother, Sunday School and the church, told her that premarital sex was an affront to the Lord. And sex in marriage was only for procreation. Now she could enjoy it. "I have to admit something, Lucy," Erin said, trying to look away from the video, "When me and Jack um fucked. I drew on your thoughts to make it more enjoyable." "I've been meaning to ask you about that." Lucy paused the video and took another sip of the wine. "Jack told me about the first time you possessed me and tried to kiss him." "I'm so sorry." "That's okay. I really just want to know how you were able to possess me? I've talked to spirits before, some probably fake, some hundred-percent real. But I've never been possessed." "I can't explain," Erin said. "It just happened and then I felt pain, you fighting back and mine own struggle. But I can tell you about the other time. It was easy. I just drew on your attraction to Jack." "It's like a tulpa," Lucy said, slowly smiling. "It has to be a tulpa!" "Tulpa?" "A tulpa is a being or an object created through intense thought. You have created something like this, linking you with Jack. When me and Jack were on the sofa, were you just haunting the house or were you drawn to this spot." "I just appeared here and saw you two." "Yeah," Lucy grinned, "This is great. I've got an idea on how we can help you." Erin nodded and looked away. She should apologize. Erin saw the blonde medium less of an adventuress, a strumpet who would seduce Jack, and more of a real person. And someone eager to help her. Erin knew she still had to adjust her 19th century way of thinking to the modern world. "Hey," Lucy said, getting Erin's attention. "Don't worry about me and Jack. I can tell he only wants you, especially now he can actually be with you. You know, have conversations. And I like you and I don't want to mess with a 19th century Irish ghost." Erin chuckled and covered her mouth. She wanted to believe that Lucy was genuine; she disliked being this jealous woman. When she was alive, with a body and everything, she had few friends. It was mainly due to her betrothed and the need to move cities for work. "What happened to you? When I possessed you?" "Hmm," Lucy paused and then said, "The first time I felt nothing, I was like asleep. When you did it again, it was like watching TV. I was standing in a dark room. Watching two screens and I could hear my voice, but it didn't sound like me. You leaned in and kissed Jack and it felt so weird. I'll be interested to try it again. Hell, if you ever want to have some fun with Jack, you can use my body." She grinned. Again, Erin blushed and went red, thinking about floating away from this conversation.   Left Hand Magic. Jack opened the door and made a beeline to the kitchen. He ignored the dulled sounds of music being played and talking in the other room, assuming that it was just the TV. After stocking the fridge, he had to check on Erin. It was a weird relationship. She was like his girlfriend but also his patient. Jack just tried to focus on Lucy coming through for them. Walking into the living room, he found Erin and Lucy both on the sofa. The blonde medium was playing music on her phone while Erin nodded her head over the beat, her eyes closed. This was good. Jack knew that Erin would need someone else to talk to. Like with any other relationship, his neurotic side flared, and Jack was worried that he was suffocating Erin. It helped that Lucy knew what Erin was going through, wouldn't freak out and is around the same age. "Oh, you're back," Erin said, smiling. She stood up and walked through the coffee table to be at his side. "Did you get everything?" "Yep," He nodded, "So, what have you guys been up to?" "I'm just showing her what music is like now, and Instagram. And some other things." Lucy said, smirking at Erin. Jack caught the smile and glanced at Erin, who had gone red. Ignoring their feminine secrets, he sat down and asked, "So, do you have any news?" "Yep," Lucy replied and went for her bag. "You ever heard of a grimoire?" They both shook their heads, which Lucy had suspected they would do. She then gave them a brief explanation of a grimoire. It meant a book of spells, but more accurately, it was a textbook of magic. She had underlined certain pages, focused more on left-hand path magic, which went over both Jack and Erin's heads. The grimoire that Lucy had been given, had instructions on how to resurrect a body. "From what I read, resurrecting the dead is near impossible. Especially when the dead has been dead for over a hundred years. You need to evocate the person's spirit from wherever they are, say Hell or Heaven. That takes a lot of energy, and like it takes forever with like a zero-point-one chance percent of getting it right. But since Erin's spirit is still on Earth, we have a shot." "Fuck." Jack said. He then glanced at Erin and quickly apologized. "No, you are right," Erin nodded, dumbfounded as he was, "So, I can be human?" "Possibly," Lucy said, walking closer to the couple, the dirt-brown book of spells in her hands. "We need some things. Dirt from your grave, for one. Some other stuff, like salt, candles, herbs. Also, there might be sex magic involved." "Sex magic?" Erin said, "How? What?" "This is left-hand path magic!" Lucy yelled, "There's always stuff involving sex." "So, when do we do this?" Jack asked, pouring himself a glass of wine; he needed it. Glancing at Erin, she looked like she wanted one as well. "We need to pick the right date. A date real important." Lucy then got in front of Erin and asked, "What do you remember about the day you died?" "I um; it's hard," Erin said, "I can't. No." "The diary doesn't say much. All I know that she died on December 21st." "December 21st?" Lucy repeated, "The Winter Solstice usually falls on 20th or 21st. If Erin was murdered on the Winter Solstice, it can explain a lot. Tulpas. Midwinter. This is getting weird." Lucy told him that she will explain later. But there was a plan, and all they had to do is get some materials, research more into Erin's life and wait a week. Jack remembered that the ritual would probably happen with his parents around, maybe his sisters. He needed another drink. Nudity Norms. Erin felt comfortable, sitting in the living room with Jack, watching a Christmas movie. It was a pleasant feeling. Jack was supposed to be working, but he told her that he was now in the holiday zone, so he was expected to do the bare minimum until the new year. When she asked what his boss would say, Jack replied that he's probably doing the same right now. If this was what the modern world truly is, then Erin knew she would love it. She glanced at Jack, and he smirked back at her. Last night was still replaying her head. They were in bed, and had finished watching another Christmas movie. Some of the jokes Erin didn't get, also the ending was confusing. Frozen orange juice and future markets. Overall, she enjoyed the movie but was curious about the amount of nudity in some shows, and asked if that was normal. "Depends on the time and what you are watching," Jack said, "When you see actors and actresses naked, sometimes its just as is, like they're waking up or taking a shower. Over times, it's sexual and they might even pretend to have sex." "You mean fucking?" Erin grinned. "What?" Erin explained that she picked up some modern words. Jack immediately guessed it had to be Lucy. There was literally no one else. "I have only had sex twice in my life. Well, once when I was alive," Erin smiled, "What happened with us was unexpected and I had to tell someone. And she taught me some new words." Erin then moved closer and shocked him, "Lucy even showed me videos. Porn." Jack stayed still, not believing what he had heard. He had tried to work out how and why Lucy showed Erin porn. For the last couple of days, he had tried to be protective of her nineteenth-century mind, slowly exposing herself to the modern world. He looked at her, seeing if she was embarrassed. He couldn't tell. No, she looked more curious. He had to ask Erin what she was shown, intrigued at what she thought. Erin then described the scenes in vivid detail, telling the actions of the porn actors, her own emotions and what Lucy said. A man and woman slowly undressed, she was eaten out, then she gave the man a blowjob and then they had sex. Pretty vanilla. "Can I ask you something? Were you watching porn that night?" Erin then asked. That night. It felt so long ago to Jack; his life had changed so much. He told her yes, and wasn't surprised when Erin asked what type of porn. Lucy had really provided her some tutoring as Erin began rattling off porn genres. "Do you want to see what I watched?" Erin blushed but nodded her head. Jack set his laptop on the bed, directly in between them. He told her what he usually liked, amateur, lesbian and Point of view. Looking at Erin, her face was red, but she had this eager look on her, still curious. He played some videos, letting her watch for a while before asking her opinion. "It's. It's something," she said, sounding breathless. Erin watched each video carefully, amazed. One was through a man's eyes, bedding a young woman with many tattoos, which confused her as tattoos only belong to wealthy males during her time. Her eyes would drift to the right side of the page, suggested scenes. The words they used shocked her, anal, stepmom and orgy. Jack then played another movie; this time, it was two women. Erin had this initial disgust, but it slowly disappeared as the women sensually writhed together. It quickly got too much for her. She turned to face Jack, seeing a large bulge in his pants. She didn't know why, but Erin asked if Jack needed to sort himself. She insisted. He nervously pulled out his penis; her eyes flared at the sight of it, hard and veiny. With his dominant hand, Jack then slowly stroked his shaft. Erin quickly became entranced by the action, wishing that she could touch his cock again. But she became distracted, heat from her groin rippled up to her brain; Erin wanted to touch herself. Her eyes glued on him, she hitched up her skirt and slid her hand underneath her bloomers. Both Jack and Erin forgot about the Female-female-male scene that was playing and just stared at each other. Jack's hand became a blur over his cock, while Erin had slid two fingers deep into her pussy. There was little resistance from her Catholic upbringing; all those years she had been told that self-pleasure was a mortal sin were forgotten. Jack then cried out her name as ropes of cum shot out his cockhead. He grabbed a tissue and quickly caught the other spurts. Erin came immediately after him, also crying his name. There was no awkwardness between them as they settled in bed, watching each other as their breathing went back to normal. Jack then said something that made Erin's heart thud, saying that he wished that he could kiss her. She didn't want to think about that as they watched TV. She was still this spirit, telling herself that this could be her life until the Last Judgement. Still, Erin couldn't believe that she would ever try something like that with a man. Glancing at him, he was more handsome than her previous men. It was no contest with Patrick, her forty-something betrothed. With rotten teeth and shaking hands, Erin had hated the thought of touching him. Jack was more like Robert. Not physically, Jack was taller but didn't have Robert's square jaw and his lighter brown hair. Since seeing his naked body during the s ance, Erin noticed that Jack was more athletic than her previous lover. But Jack had Robert's charming and intelligent personality. He was also honest and aware of his limitations, unlike Robert. Whenever they were away from the Franklins, Erin would see him turn into an almighty braggart after a drink. They heard the front door opened then quickly closed. Lucy Prepares for a Resurrection. "Erin? Jack?" Lucy yelled. "In here," Jack said back. She was carrying a big tote bag as she walked into the living room. "Hey guys," Lucy smiled, "You okay?" Both Jack and Erin shrugged and then nodded their heads, saying fine at the same time. "What are you guys watching?" Lucy asked, facing the TV. "I don't know," Erin then turned to Jack and asked, "Which movie is this one?" "It's the Mistletoe Connection." "I've been watching a number of these Hallmark Christmas movies." Erin said, then shrugged her shoulders. "I do enjoy them, but I am finding a pattern. Struggling family business, a woman from the big city, a father with a young child and a lack of minorities?" She glanced at Jack to see if she was correct. He smiled and nodded. "We've been watching Christmas movies non-stop. If this ritual goes like it should, then Erin's going to be out in the world with no pop culture reference point. We watched Gremlins earlier and I figured that she needs a palate cleanser." "I was streaked," Erin said, looking back at Lucy. "She means scared." "For once, I was glad that I am a spirit. Those monsters would have made me cascade if I had a body." "She means puke." Jack then turned to Erin, and they exchanged grins. "You need to switch to Netflix Christmas movies. There's more variety." Lucy said. She took a seat and pulled the grimoire. "I need to ask you some questions, Erin. I want to make sure that we can get everything right for the ritual. Also, I can't find where you were buried." "Of course." "Why don't you guys take the living room. I probably should do some work today." Jack said, standing up. "Do you want some coffee, Lucy?" Lucy said yes, and they quickly settled around the coffee table. She booted up her laptop and asked Erin about her past, trying to squeeze information out of her last days alive. Erin gave vague answers back to her. She had been asked about this before, she hated thinking back. "What's going on?" Lucy asked, lowering her notepad. "What do you mean?" "You keep looking away and you're repeating yourself. What's going on?" "It's just," Erin said, but then stopped. "Lucy, I just need to tell someone about what had happened." Erin then leaned in, wanting to make sure that there was no way Jack could eavesdrop on them. Erin then told her how she and Jack watched porn, first describing the videos she saw. She caught Lucy's eyes widen as she went on. Erin then did a long exhale and told her that the evening ended with her and Jack mutually masturbating. Just like a move from a sitcom, Lucy did a spit take. Wiping her mouth, she turned back to Erin and said, "Sorry. But that's really hot. I didn't know that you can do that." "Nor did I," Erin replied, "I just can't control myself around him. I want to feel him again. To kiss him." "Just kiss?" Erin blushed and dropped her head. "I do have some other carnal thoughts." "Let's see what happens tomorrow. If I'm reading this thing right. You might get to have some fun tomorrow." "If only," Erin said. "So, you going to do it again?" Lucy asked grinning. Erin said nothing, trying not to laugh. "Hey, I'm a pervert," Lucy said, shrugging her shoulders. They went back to their research. Finding Erin's burial was difficult. Her death certificate was nonexistent. Either the hundred years that passed since her death made it impossible to find, or it was another insult by the Franklins. "O, space, then C-E-A-L-L-A-C-H-A-I-N," Erin said, spelling out her last name. "I'm not going to pretend to try to pronounce that." Lucy typed in the search bar and then asked, "I thought your last name is O'Callaghan?" "It is. That's just the Irish spelling. Jack said that if we are successful, I'll need identity papers. I may shorten it to Callaghan." Erin shrugged and looked away. With that done, Erin helped Lucy find her grave. She learnt that the Franklins had her buried in a Potter's field-like cemetery in a town near the border with New Hampshire. She also told Lucy more about her life, traveling across the Atlantic from Ireland, Boston and being forced to move to Portland due to Patrick. They were in deep concentration, but quickly looked up, hearing a car door slam shut. Then some voices that sounded like there were coming from outside.   Parents Pop In. The front door opened, and a deep-sounding voice yelled, "Jack?" Jack jumped out of his chair; he was already prepared. He had been going over this moment since morning. He had to distract his parents while Lucy and, more importantly, Erin had to exit without drawing too much attention. His mom will probably faint if she saw Erin phase through walls, his dad would definitely spend an hour asking Erin to do tricks. He met them by the door and quickly lobbed questions at them. While his dad went upstairs to use the bathroom, Jack marshaled his mom into the kitchen. He showed her what he had bought for Christmas dinner, and asked about other things that they might need. In the living room, Lucy frantically piled her notes, her laptop and the grimoire back in her bag. She bounced from different spots of the room, trying to tidy up without being caught. Erin followed her around the room, not knowing what else to do. "Shit. Shit. Shit." Lucy said out loud but to herself. "Please be calm," Erin said, resting a hand on Lucy's shoulder though both could feel nothing. "We can say that we border together. But that we have to go now." "That's not a bad idea." Lucy replied. She paused and stared at Erin's clothes. "Can you do yourself up. Like how you used to look." Erin had her sleeves pulled up to her elbows, her hair down and her shoes were under Jack's bed. It was this weird quirk that she could change her appearance briefly, but it would just reset itself to how she always looked. Sometimes it was random, or if she just thought strongly enough. She nodded her head, and then Erin pressed her chest like she was doing the pledge of allegiance. With a quick flash, every bit of her clothing and her hair was back in its place. "Let's go," she said. While Jack was distracting his mother, they walked to the door, both looking at the kitchen. As Lucy opened the door, she waved at Erin and pointed to her mouth. Erin got the hint and said, "Bye Jack. We have to go." "Thanks for your help," Lucy added. They watched as a woman in her late fifties walked out of the kitchen. She was then joined by Jack. He looked like he was biting his lower lip. "Well, hello," she said. Her face had this inquisitive look like she was quickly judging them. "Hello, I am Erin," she said, "This is Miss; umm Lucy." "Hi, I'm Mary. Jack's mom," she replied, "That's umm interesting dress that you are wearing." Erin stayed quiet, her face frozen and her eyes stretched wide. "Oh, Erin's just shy," Lucy said, "She came from a rehearsal." She then turned to Erin and asked, "You're playing Scrooge's maid, right?" "Yes," Erin replied, not sounding anywhere convincing. "I'm sorry, but we need to be leaving." Jack left his mom's side and walked to the door, blocking her view of Erin just in case. "See you guys later," he said loud enough for his mom to hear him. He then leaned in and whispered, "Hide in my room, I'll be up soon." Both Lucy and Erin nodded. Jack slowly closed the door, watching Erin fade away as soon as she stepped outside. Lucy twisted her head left to right; he guessed that she was checking if anyone noticed a nineteenth-century maid disappear. Jack then locked the door and turned around, seeing his mother giving him a sly look. She suspected something. She was going to ask him so many questions, he knew it.   Inconvenient Parents. Erin stared out of the window, bored. She realized that she had never really checked out the change in her surroundings. That was interesting for a while, but after two hours, she needed something else to do. Erin had tried to see if she could focus all her energy and press the TV remote power button but got nowhere. She attempted not to think about the ceremony tomorrow. Thoughts of her future, of Jack and life would occasionally creep in her head, and Erin had to ignore them. She trusted herself, knowing that if it went wrong and she would stay like this, that she could survive. But what about Jack? There was a knock and Erin turned her head. "Erin?" Jack said before opening the door and poking his head in. "Jack?" "Sorry, I had to leave you alone for so long. Mom and Dad really wanted to know what I've been up to." Jack then climbed onto his bed and switched the TV on. He flipped through the channels before settling on ESPN. He looked at the door as he played around with the volume. "I understand." Erin then joined him on the bed. "Oh yeah. Mom really likes the tree. I told her that you helped me decorate it." "Were they upset that I didn't fully introduce myself to them?" "No. Not really. But over dinner, Mom wanted to know about you. I had to think of something to say. I told them that I met you recently and we've been seeing each other. Also, you're crashing at Lucy's." "Seeing each other?" Erin replied, "Is that what modern courtship is?" "Something like that," Jack said, smiling, "What was courtship like in 1800s?" "Courtship was not for people like me. Especially for someone from Ireland. My Dad worked with a man and the fellow said he was looking for a wife. My Dad then brought him home one night, I may have said five words to Patrick during dinner. Two weeks later, we were engaged." "Whoa. Is that what you wanted?" "I never had a say. My parents said I was to be married and that was it." "What did you think about Patrick?" "A drunk," Erin said, rolling her eyes. "I could tell the type of husband he was going to be during that dinner. I was to be a nurse for him, bring him whiskey, wash him and clean off umm vomit from his mouth." She blushed again, still not comfortable with some modern words. "But when he died. How old were you? Couldn't you marry someone else?" "I was 25. A different time. One that I am so happy to be out of." Erin smiled. "There is something I want to ask. Is courtship similar to dating?" "Dating?" "I've heard that word spoken so many times in this house. Back when I was alive, dating meant buying a night with a whore." Jack tried to explain what dating meant now. The use of apps, having coffee dates or low-key ones like going shopping. Also, casual sex and friends-with-benefits. The dating stages, how couples usually go from casual acquaintances to dating, boyfriend and girlfriend, moving into together and finally getting married if they like. He saw Erin's shocked look when he explained that divorce was so common and accepted. Jack carried on, saying how some couples don't use labels to describe themselves; some do while others have their own thing. Embarrassed, but Jack had no choice to use experience from his own life. "We have had sex." Erin said, slowly smiling, "I guess we're more boyfriend and girlfriend." "Probably." Jack replied, smirking at her. Jack's phone then started buzzing and interrupted them. Reaching to the nightstand, Lucy was calling him on Facetime. He turned to Erin and said, "Lucy's video-calling me." "Video-calling? So, she can see us? Wow." Jack answered and said, "Hey Lucy, what's up? Where are you?" They could see Lucy in a dimly lit storeroom. There were boxes of Budweiser beer and whiskey stacked behind her. Her clothes also looked weird for her, wearing a white shirt and a black leather apron. There was no make-up on her face, and her hair was tied back. "I got a shift at the Cord & Rifle. Anyway, how you guys doing?" Erin looked at Jack, he shrugged, and she turned back to Lucy saying, "We're good." "What happened to your mom & dad?" "They had some questions. I told them that I've been seeing Erin for a while and you guys came over, so I can help you with your laptop." "And. I am uh, crashing; at your home," Erin said, emphasizing any modern words. "Cool, cool." Lucy looked passed her phone, then there was a knock and a muffled voice. She nodded and said, "They need me back behind the bar. There was also one thing. Tomorrow, it's just us and your parents, right? Like your sisters aren't going to burst in while we're burning sage or nude?" "Nude?" Erin looked at Jack, squinting her eyes. He shook his head and turned back to Lucy, "No. You don't have to worry about them. Katie and Beth will be flying out on 23rd. They got tickets to Taylor Swift tomorrow. Unless LA gets a plague of spiders, they are going to be there." "Okay then," Lucy nodded, "So, we need to drug your parents," she said, so casual. She then looked away, mouthing 'what' at someone. "Shit, I need to go." "What do you mean, drug my parents?" "Yeah, we need to drug them." Lucy stood up and looked like she was moving. "Why?" "They have to be drugged," Lucy replied, "Bye guys!" Jack glanced at Erin, then back to his blank phone screen. Tomorrow is going to be a long, stressful day. *** In a couple of hours, the Winter Solstice would happen, and Erin sat on Jack's bed. She watched him paced in the room, on the phone with one of his sisters. He said that he was helping her out with a computer problem, but as he talked to his sister, Erin only heard half of the conversation and it made no sense to her. She never really interacted with anyone else in the house. Before Jack and his family moved in, Erin tried to keep to herself, always in the corner of the eye of the house's occupants for a quick second, then disappearing. She didn't even want to be seen by Jack initially but had no choice as her attic became his bedroom. Few times, she would find herself in his sisters' rooms and would see them. Erin struggled to remember their names. What was she supposed to say whenever she meets them? Erin clenched her eye shut, hating herself. It was wrong to think about the future. There were so many things that could go wrong. Jack ended the called and turned to Erin, "I hate being the family's I T support," he said, rolling his eyes. "I T?" "Never mind." He settled on the bed next to her and slipped on his boots. "It'll be weird when I introduce you to them. Katie will be anywhere from cool to disinterested. I know for a fact that Beth will be asking you non-stop questions. She's a pain like that." Erin smiled and said, "You're being too confident. It might not happen. And if this ritual fails, I will accept it with grace." "Really?" "I need to. Just so I can stay sane." "I've got a text from Lucy. She's outside." Jack stood up and grabbed his jacket. "I have faith something will happen. Something good," he said, smiling back at her. "It's like a 40-minute drive to the cemetery. We will be a while. Try to stay here until me or Lucy come up." "Good luck," Erin replied. It was getting too much for her. Erin knew how she was feeling over him. She loved Jack. It terrified her. If the ritual fails, what would happen to Jack, Erin asked herself. He had this single-minded focus on helping her. She was worried that if it doesn't work, he won't be able to move on.   Lucy pulled her Ford over and cut the engine. Jack wasn't going to say anything to her, but her car should not be making those types of sounds. It was like a Transformer was having a heart attack. Looking out of the window, he didn't see anyone. They left the car and slowly walk to the wall; it looked low enough for them to climb. Jack didn't know if there was some kind of night guard but said to Lucy that they should sneak in, just in case. She agreed, and soon he was boosting her over the wall. Climbing over, Jack landed on frozen grass that crunch with every step. They were lucky with the wind howling, making enough noise to cover their movements. "You ever been in a cemetery before?" Lucy asked, flashing the torch at a gravestone. "No. Have you?" "Yeah," she replied, "Loads of times; its part of the job. When I started hearing voices of the dead, I was like a goth goddess. Every Friday, someone was dragging me to a cemetery or a graveyard. Guys would hit on me all the time. I gave my first handy at a grave." "I got my first one during a school trip to Bangor," he said, looking at a gravestone, "I'm pretty sure that I told Erin about it." "How's Erin handling it?" Lucy asked, "Is she freaking out being a real woman again?" "Not really." Lucy stopped and Jack did the same. "Have you guys said anything about the future?" Jack sighed and shook his head. "Where's she going to stay? You're going back to Boston; is she going to follow you or stay here? She will need help with ID and social security." "I know. But Erin just doesn't want to think about the future. Talking about Boston, what she wants to do with her life and everything else, it will fucking hurt if tomorrow she's still a ghost. She's protecting herself." Lucy nodded and said, "I understand." Jack looked around, feeling that they were lost. Realizing that there was no guard and they were definitely alone, Jack and Lucy walked to the entrance. From there, they methodically worked their way up, finding Erin's grave after thirty minutes of searching. Lucy bent down and jammed a trowel into the ground. The frozen soil being too hard for her and Jack quickly took over. It took a couple of jabs to loosen the dirt. He scooped it up and funneled it into a sterilized container. Jack did ask why the box had to be sterilized. "You ever seen the Fly?" Lucy replied, tightening the lid around the plastic box, "You don't want her DNA mixing with something else. Turning her into a hybrid." "Really?" "Nah. It's just what it says to do in the grimoire," Lucy grinned, "Okay's let's get the hell out of here and roofie your parents." The Resurrection at Solstice. Jack searched the pantry for marshmallows, knowing that they were there somewhere. Lucy was upstairs with Erin. She was surprisingly easy to sneak into the house without his mom and dad noticing. While she was keeping Erin company, Jack was making his parents cocoa. Lucy had given him some weird smelling liquid to mix into the cocoa. It should make them fall asleep. He had to hide his look of glee when his dad said yes when he asked. If he didn't, they would be in trouble. He handed them the cocoa and settled down on the sofa, away from his parents. They were watching some Holiday cake show, and Jack would occasionally look up from his phone; they were still awake but getting quiet. Five minutes, he caught his mom closing her eyes and his dad doing that move of falling asleep, then jolting back awake. Ten minutes later, they were both deep asleep. He knew that they would be pissed at him in the morning, letting them sleep all night on the sofa. Waiting another ten minutes, Jack checked that they were still asleep and texted Lucy. It took just seconds for Erin to suddenly appear in his living room and the sound of Lucy running down the stairs. Both also checked if his parents were out cold; he guessed that they were also scared of being interrupted. "What did you give them?" Jack asked, staring at his snoring parents. "Oh, Valerian root and CBD oil," Lucy said, "We should get ready." "How long do we have?" Erin asked. "We got time," Lucy replied, looking at her phone. "The solstice is at 12:34am. This ritual has to happen during that time." "So, what do we have to do?" Jack said. They went back into Jack's room. Just like the s ance, they had to use the bedroom to host the ritual. Jack pushed everything to one side again, leaving a large empty space. Lucy made another circle, this time out of salt. There was something wrong with this; Jack had seen horror movies that use rings of salt as protection from the Devil. He wanted to ask if they're technically practicing Satanism. "This is just to make sure that we contain any kind of magic that we've created," Lucy said. After the circle was done, Jack placed seven black candles around the ring. They smelt funny, like someone could get high from the fumes. Lucy then put the grave dirt in the circle, making a pile with her hands. Directly opposite the soil, she positioned the silver bucket they had used before. While they worked on the preparations, Erin stood next to the door, silently watching them. Once Lucy said they were ready, they headed downstairs and to the kitchen. There was still some time to go, at least forty minutes. They could have waited in Jack's room, but both he and Lucy were too scared to touch anything and ruin the ritual. With Jack's parents snoring in the living room, they settled around the kitchen table. "Do you want something to drink?" Jack asked, breaking the silence between them. "Oh, god yes." Jack reached into a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. "Dad got a bottle of Maker's Mark from my uncle," he said, pouring glasses for him and Lucy. They both quickly finished the bourbon and refilled their glasses. But Jack paused before taking another sip. He looked up from his drink to Erin and said, "Sorry about this." "Me too," Lucy said, hesitating as well. "But, if this works. I'm going to take you to a bar and we'll get hammered." Erin looked away and chuckled to herself. "Today, is it really that special? The Winter Solstice." "Yeah," Lucy said, "There's so many things that happen today. Yule is celebrated today by pagans and Satanists. Then there's the whole life-death-reborn symbolism of it, being the shortest day." She took another sip of bourbon and asked, "If this ritual works or doesn't, you're still going to experience a modern Christmas. How was that like back in 1890s?" Erin let out a quick smile and shrugged her shoulders. She said, "It was the same. There was Father Christmas ;  Santa, Christmas trees and presents. When I was alive, I'd go to church number of times before Christmas. My mam and my nana would give me presents on 6th December. How about you two? What are your traditions?" "Mine are really boring," Jack said, "Typical Christmas. Exchange gifts, eat too much, drink too much. But it's the only time my sisters do all of the cooking. Like Christmas dinner is their time to shine. Later in the evening, we go to the movies. Lucy?" "Pass," she said, "With this talking to dead people, I never really celebrated Christmas. Normally out getting drunk with friends or strangers." Lucy then checked her phone and then said, "We should probably stop drinking. It's getting near midnight and I probably shouldn't be swaying when I start reading the grimoire. And if you drink too much, it might affect your plumbing. And we need a good, sexy, show." Jack rolled his eyes and stood up. He said, "I don't know anything about sex magic and what it does. But I really think you just want to watch us fuck." Erin stood next to him, blushing uncontrollably. She covered her face and looked away. "Maybe," Lucy grinned, "You guys go to your room and I'm gonna get changed and we'll start." Jack and Erin were in his bedroom, standing inside the circle. They stayed quiet, not even keeping eye contact with each other. Jack would open his mouth from time to time and try to say something, probably some reassuring words to Erin. He had none, though; so he kept his mouth shut and waited. His bedroom door swung open, and in walked Lucy. She had changed, replacing her jeans and sweatshirt with an ankle-length black dress. It had long sleeves and fit snugly around her curves. She also pulled her long blonde hair in a ponytail, wearing black lipstick and eye shadow. She could see them staring at her and said, "I'm trying to match what they were usually wear for this kind of thing." "So, should we get started?" Jack asked. "Yeah. You start lighting the candles. I'm going to start the fire and burn the sage." It was just like as Jack thought, the weird-smelling candles that he placed around the circle started exhaling a strange odor. It smelt like weed, but some cheap, disgusting weed. After that was done, he joined Erin back in the circle. Smoke from the sage filled the room, but it wasn't overpowering like the night of the s ance. Lucy held the grimoire tightly and rounded the circle, standing in front of the dirt. "I'm going to start reading the grimoire. When you can, start kissing and do you-know-what." "Are you okay?" Jack asked as he stood in front of Erin. "Yeah. I'm calm." Jack dropped his eyes to her hands. She was trembling. "Okay guys, let's get weird," Lucy said before she began reading. "Our good being. Bear this night lights open this fruit female. Set the Cork grass light. Her fruit diminished. Days gathering seasons said air together for every day lost. Given her wherein dry replenish. Light her subdued wings." Lucy lowered her head, facing Jack and Erin. They both looked puzzled. Lucy rolled her eyes and said, "Just, kiss now!" Jack tried to take Erin's hand, but his fingers went through hers. She widened her eyes, scared at what was not happening. She was still non-corporeal. Something had gone wrong, and they could be out of time. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Lucy said to herself, frantically flipping through the grimoire. Jack kept eye contact with Erin and asked, "Lucy, can't we do this another day?" "No. Today is the day Erin died and it falls on the Winter Solstice. We might have to wait another year or two for the right time to occur, again." "If we wait," he said, still looking at a scared Erin, "There is no way Erin could go unnoticed by my parents. Even if I stay here." Lucy jumped into the circle and stood in front of Erin. "You have to possess me." "What?" Erin said, nearly yelling, "Why

I bet you know your favorite way to learn something. Maybe it's by listening to a podcast, skimming a couple of articles on the topic, reading a book, going to a live lecture, taking a Masterclass, talking to a knowledgable friend, playing your way through an App like Duolingo, attending a conference... The point is, we're all pretty different when it comes to our FAVORITE way to take in information. The way that really helps it sink in. For me, it's often about visuals and color, dating all the way back to my high school years when I created my own visual notes summaries of the semester for each class before finals. I enjoyed reading through all my notes and condensing them into a couple of brightly colored pages. Once I had done that, I barely had to study those highlight reels, because the process of making them had done most of the studying for me. Honestly, I looked forward to exam week because I could take my exams and look at my notes for the next day more quickly than I could get through the work of a normal week of school. I had more free time when we had tests, and I enjoyed my review process. Today on the pod, as many folks may be headed into a unit or term review, just as student focus is already taking a left out of school city toward vacation land, let's talk about an easy way to give students agency over their review, ANY review. Go Further:  Explore alllll the Episodes of The Spark Creativity Teacher Podcast. Get my popular free hexagonal thinking digital toolkit Join our community, Creative High School English, on Facebook. Come hang out on Instagram.  Enjoying the podcast? Please consider sharing it with a friend, snagging a screenshot to share on the 'gram, or tapping those ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ to help others discover the show. Thank you!

“Honestly, education found me…”Higher Definition Leadership and Empowerment CoachingProfessor LaToya Greenhttps://www.higherdefinitionlec.com/“When I think about the future of education, it is just being incessant and being absolute about access for all students...”In this powerful episode of the Black Educators Matter Project 500 Podcast, Professor LaToya Green shares her journey from an unexpected start in communication studies to becoming a nationally recognized debate coach, educator, and leadership developer. With teaching experiences in Kansas, North Carolina and Southern California, she reflects on the mentors who shaped her path, the challenges Black educators face in predominantly non-Black spaces, and the transformative impact of authenticity, representation, and cultural connection in the classroom. “In this space, we are going to live and move in some freedom.”Professor Green offers a candid look at the state of Black education, discussing its systemic barriers, its resilience, and its brilliance, while highlighting the classroom moments that reaffirm her purpose and the self-care practices that sustain her. She also discusses her leadership coaching company, Higher Definition Leadership and Empowerment Coaching, where she empowers individuals and organizations through workshops, keynotes, and curriculum rooted in personal growth and equity. With a vision driven by intersectionality and opportunity, she calls for continued investment in Black educators, Black institutions, and the communities they champion.

Honestly, this is a cool tradition even if it makes zero sense. Support the show and follow us here Twitter, Insta, Apple, Amazon, Spotify and the Edge! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Donate to Movember here: https://movember.com/m/15368227?mc=1Welcome Back! I'm so happy to share this episode with y'all! As you know Whitmedia partnered with Movember to share conversations on men's health and mental health with other men. You remember Dre from the last episode. I was a guest on the BackYard Bants Podcast discussing how I deal with my mental health and so much more. Honestly it was a great conversation. I'd love to know what you think about it in the comments below. You can find Backyard Bants on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/@thetalkativexChapters00:00 Welcome to the Backyard Band's Comedy Podcast01:55 Mental Health Check-In and Movember12:22 The Importance of Vulnerability and Emotional Processing22:54 Recharging and Coping Mechanisms30:02 Art as a Form of Emotional Expression37:49 Conversations on Vulnerability and Manhood39:34 The Impact of Account Transparency42:20 Remote Work and Its Challenges45:33 Sports and National Pride46:53 The Grammy Nominations and African Music49:34 The Evolution of Music and Artist Identity51:51 The Weekend's Unique Approach to Fame53:44 The Importance of Male Friendships01:00:14 Upcoming Events and Community Engagement01:06:34 Personal Achievements and Reflections01:12:59 Goals for the Future

I am so excited to have today's guest back on the podcast after recording an episode with her a long time ago about my rejection challenge. Yes, it is Katie Chappell, who was the original inspiration for that challenge! However, we are not talking about rejection today. Instead, we are talking all about Katie's incredible business as a Live Illustrator. Honestly, I love chatting to her; she is a total business powerhouse with so many brilliant ideas. In this episode, we discuss how she runs her Live Illustration business, the membership and jobs board she has created to share overflow work, and how she manages her time and boundaries. I came away from this conversation so inspired, and I know you will too.   Key Takeaways: The pivot to online-only: Katie made the strategic (and initially terrifying) decision to stop doing in-person events and focus exclusively on online live illustration to better manage her stress and family life. Sharing the wealth with a jobs board: Instead of just turning down the inquiries she couldn't take, Katie created a paid jobs board on Substack to pass that overflow work on to other illustrators, creating a win-win for everyone. Dealing with negative comments: Katie opens up about the backlash and trolling she received regarding her jobs board and how she now views it as a "rite of passage" and a sign of increased visibility. The power of the decision tree: To avoid decision fatigue, Katie uses a "decision tree" managed by her assistant to automatically filter inquiries—if a job doesn't meet her specific criteria (like being online and within school hours), it goes straight to the jobs board. Live illustration is thriving: Despite doom and gloom in the wider illustration industry, Katie explains why live graphic recording is still a high-value, premium service that corporate clients love. ‌ Episode Highlights: 02:11 – Katie explains exactly what live illustration looks like and how she captures visual notes during events.‌ 07:59 – How Katie discovered graphic recording in the library during her master's degree and realised it was like being a war artist, but for meetings. 14:26 – The moment Katie realised she needed to scale back her agency model and set a deadline to go online-only. 15:28 – How the "Jobs Board" was born from an abundance of inquiries she couldn't fulfill. 25:59 – Navigating "mild trolling" and the emotional process of dealing with negative comments online. ‌   About The Guest: Katie Chappell is a live event illustrator who makes visual notes for online events. She is also one-third of The Good Ship Illustration, where she runs courses for creatives, and she manages a popular jobs board for illustrators. You can find Katie on her website or say hi on Instagram.   Mentioned in this episode: The Good Ship Illustration: Katie's course business with Helen Stephens and Tanya Willis. Katie's Jobs Board: A Substack for illustrators to find work. Rich Webster: Previous podcast guest who discussed business as a self-development tool. Katy from Creative Boom: Discussed as someone who handles online visibility well. I would love to hear what you think of this episode, so please do let me know on Instagram where I'm @‌lizmmosley or @‌buildingyourbrandpodcast and I hope you enjoy the episode! This episode was written and recorded by me and produced by Lucy Lucraft lucylucraft.co.uk If you enjoyed this episode please leave a 5* rating and review!

Honestly what would you do for Joe Burrow? JJ McCarthy is looking better, and could be the next Joe Burrow? Also neither one are healthy QB's JJ has been out as much as Joe B. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ducks! They first appeared (twice) in the original novelization of Star Wars and have been floating around ever since … but why are there ducks in the galaxy far far away? And what about horses? Or ravens? Or rats? Listen as we explore the possible reason behind there being so many “earth animals” in Star Wars and the true behind the scenes historic role animals have played in the saga. So get those raccoons out of the bathtub, celebrate the love and listen today! JOIN THE BLAST POINTS ARMY and SUPPORT BLAST POINTS ON PATREON! NEW ANDOR SEASON 2 EPISODE COMMENTARIES! HEAR EPISODES EARLY AND SO MUCH MORE! Theme Music! downloadable tunes from episodes! Extra goodies! and so much MORE! www.patreon.com/blastpoints Blast Points T-SHIRTS are now available! Represent your favorite podcast everywhere you go! Get logo shirts while supplies last! Perfect for conventions, dates, formal events and more! Get them here: www.etsy.com/shop/Gibnerd?section_id=21195481 If you dug the show, please leave BLAST POINTS a review on iTunes, Spotify and share the show with friends! If you leave an iTunes review, we will read it on a future episode! Honestly! Talk to Blast Points on twitter at @blast_points "Like" Blast Points on Facebook Join the Blast Points Super Star Wars Chill Group here www.facebook.com/groups/BlastPointsGroup/ we are also on Instagram! Wow! www.instagram.com/blastpoints Your hosts are Jason Gibner & Gabe Bott! contact BLAST POINTS at : contact@blastpointspodcast.com May the Force be with you, always! This podcast is not affiliated in any way with Lucasfilm Ltd. LLC, The Walt Disney Company, or any of their affiliates or subsidiaries. https://web.archive.org/web/20170708200533/http://www.starwars.com/news/drawing-from-the-present-familiar-creatures-in-a-galaxy-far-far-away https://starwars.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000022550/r/4400000000000561252

In this episode: "Trying Life On", 5 Freedom Principles, Purposeful Work, & more with Maurice Philogene. Adam Coelho talks to Maurice Philogene, a former senior executive at an IT consulting firm and a retired federal agent, who is now a full-time real estate investor. They discuss Maurice's philosophy of "trying life on" and how he has been able to mesh together his different interests and careers. They also talk about the importance of envisioning, reducing big dreams into achievable goals, and building a personal and work blueprint.Episode TakeawaysMaurice's philosophy of "trying life on" involves meshing together different interests and careers to build a lifestyle you don't need a vacation from.Maurice reduces big dreams into achievable goals by having people write down their perfect day in vivid detail and building a personal and work blueprint around it.Maurice encourages people to build meaningful relationships and intentionally make decisions related to time, financial, and geographic freedom.Maurice believes that adults forget to dream and that we need to remember our purpose of plugging into life planet as intended.Maurice believes that if we really want to do something, we will find a way to make it happen.Maurice encourages people to be unapologetic in their pursuit of a meaningful and fulfilling life.Maurice's Contact InformationMaurice Philogene on LinkedInQuattro Capital : https://www.thequattroway.com/Maurice Philogene BioMaurice Philogene is a former senior executive at an IT consulting firm, a retired federal agent and lieutenant colonel, and a full-time real estate investor. He is also a former street cop in Washington DC. Maurice's philosophy is to "try life on" and he has been able to mesh together his different interests and careers to build a lifestyle he doesn't need a vacation from.

Today, we're talking about the other B-word… Budgeting — but before you roll your eyes, stick with me, because my guests Shana and Vanessa (aka the Budget Besties) are flipping everything you think you know about budgets on its head.These two are best friends turned financial coaches who teach ambitious women how to automate their money without shame, spreadsheets, or sacrifice. Honestly? Sign me up. Those are all things I actively avoid.In this episode, we unpack their simple, stunningly effective system that turns your bank into your own personal assistant — so you can pay your bills, enjoy your life, and still splurge on the bougie things without relying on credit cards.They break down why most women believe they're “bad with money” (spoiler: you aren't), how modern financial life has become way too complicated, and how a budget — done their way — actually gives you permission to spend.We get into:Why money problems aren't about overspending… they're about disorganizationHow to set up a one-page budget that mimics your real lifeWhy separating accounts is the key to reducing stressHow automation replaces willpowerWhat entrepreneurs especially need to understand about stabilizing incomeThe mindset shift that helps you drop shame and start dreaming againIf money has ever felt overwhelming, guilt-inducing, or chaotic, this conversation is going to breathe oxygen back into your confidence.

Did you know there's MAGIC in your Meditation Practice? Say Goodbye to Anxiety and Hello to More Peace & More Prosperity! Here Are the 5 Secrets on How to Unleash Your Meditation Magic https://womensmeditationnetwork.com/5secrets Book your FREE 30 Minute Clarity Call with Jody now! https://jody.as.me/womensmeditationnetworkclaritysession What is a Clarity Call? This is the first step to giving you the IMMEDIATE relief you crave and will help you to become "unstuck" as you walk the path towards a life of happiness, inner peace and fulfillment. During this call, we're going to explore your ideal life and vision for living the life that you desire. We'll talk about some of the challenges that are getting in your way, and I'll provide you with some practical tools to help you close the gap from where you are now, to your desired destination. Hey, it's Katie and I want to welcome you to this special bonus episode. It'll be here for you completely ad-free for the next week so you can get a feel of what it's like to be a PREMIUM member. If you'd like an easy ad-free experience for all of our podcasts - that's over 200 episodes each month, then JOIN PREMIUM today at https://WomensMeditationNetwork.com/premium Open heart, Open eyes, Open ears, Open mind.  PAUSE (5 SEC)... To love deeply is to love with all of yourself.  Honestly,  Openly. Even when it's scary. Even when it's heavy. PAUSE (10 SEC)... So touch the sea of love inside of you, And know its depths are bottomless. Join our Premium Sleep for Women Channel on Apple Podcasts and get ALL 5 of our Sleep podcasts completely ad-free! Join Premium now on Apple here --> https://bit.ly/sleepforwomen Join our Premium Meditation for Kids Channel on Apple Podcasts and get ALL 5 of our Kids podcasts completely ad-free! Join Premium now on Apple here → https://bit.ly/meditationforkidsapple I'm so glad you're taking the time to be with us today. My team and I are dedicated to making sure you have all the meditations you need throughout all the seasons of your life. If there's a meditation you desire, but can't find, email us at hello@womensmeditationnetwork.com to make a request. We'd love to create what you want! Namaste, Beautiful,

In this episode Trent honestly breaks down every book he's written from "the worst" to "the GOAT" and everything in between. Get a case of Why We're Catholic https://shop.catholic.com/why-were-catholic-our-reasons-for-faith-hope-and-love-case-of-20-books/ To support this channel: https://www.patreon.com/counseloftrent [NEW] Counsel of Trent merch: https://shop.catholic.com/apologists-alley/trent-horn-resources/ Be sure to keep up with our socials! https://www.tiktok.com/@counseloftrent https://www.twitter.com/counseloftrent https://www.instagram.com/counseloftrentpodcast

#79: What changes in feeding when your baby turns 1? Honestly...not a whole lot. But we do make the transition to cow's milk and that can be kind of tricky for some families. In this episode we're looking at how to pick milk when your baby turns 1. From questions about how much to feed, what types of cow's milk to try, transitioning from breastmilk and/or formula to cow's milk and milk alternatives, I'm answering all your questions on how to pick a milk when your baby turns 1. Listen to this episode to learn: 1. Why it's ok for babies to have cow's milk protein in yogurt, low sodium cheeses and other dairy foods but why we don't substitute fluid cow's milk for breastmilk and/or formula until baby turns 1 2.  What to look for in the milk aisle when you're choosing a cow's milk for your baby at or after the 1 year mark 3.  How to wean baby off of the bottle (and when to do that) and what to consider if you need to do a cow's milk alternative if your baby has cow's milk protein allergy or you're a vegan family Shownotes for this episode can be found here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.babyledweaning.co/podcast/79 Links from this episode: • Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program with the 100 First Foods™ Daily Meal Plan, join here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/program⁠ • Baby-Led Weaning for Beginners free online workshop with 100 First Foods™ list to all attendees, register here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/baby-led-weaning-for-beginners⁠ Other episodes related to this topic: • Episode 13 - “Milk Protein: How to Introduce Your Baby to this Potentially Allergenic Food”⁠ • Episode 40  - “6 Reasons to Skip the Sippy Cup with Dawn Winkelmann, MS, CCC-SLP” ⁠ • Episode 285 - “Are Plant-Based Milks Safe for Babies?”

Send us a textI'll start with a confession: I've never taught kindergarten. Honestly? I don't think I could. Kindergarten teachers bring superhuman levels of compassion, patience, and organizational magic. They teach kids how to be at school while also supporting families.Yet I support K–8 math, and as a parent of two kindergarteners, I know exactly what a Monday afternoon classroom feels like. So when a kindergarten teacher asked me to model what math could look, sound, and feel like with deeper engagement, I said yes. Today, you'll hear the case study that proves Word Problem Workshop is the solution for low-level, boring curriculum tasks.Here's the encouragement I want to leave you with: you don't need a new curriculum. You just need a routine that reveals student thinking. Word Problem Workshop does that — every single time. Even in kindergarten.So try one step next week. Launch a real problem. Give space. Let kids think. And watch what happens.

#79: What changes in feeding when your baby turns 1? Honestly...not a whole lot. But we do make the transition to cow's milk and that can be kind of tricky for some families. In this episode we're looking at how to pick milk when your baby turns 1. From questions about how much to feed, what types of cow's milk to try, transitioning from breastmilk and/or formula to cow's milk and milk alternatives, I'm answering all your questions on how to pick a milk when your baby turns 1. Listen to this episode to learn: 1. Why it's ok for babies to have cow's milk protein in yogurt, low sodium cheeses and other dairy foods but why we don't substitute fluid cow's milk for breastmilk and/or formula until baby turns 1 2.  What to look for in the milk aisle when you're choosing a cow's milk for your baby at or after the 1 year mark 3.  How to wean baby off of the bottle (and when to do that) and what to consider if you need to do a cow's milk alternative if your baby has cow's milk protein allergy or you're a vegan family Shownotes for this episode can be found here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.babyledweaning.co/podcast/79 Links from this episode: • Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program with the 100 First Foods™ Daily Meal Plan, join here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/program and get $50 off when you sign up using the code BLWPOD50 JOIN NOW AT $50 OFF CODE: BLWPOD50 • Baby-Led Weaning for Beginners free online workshop with 100 First Foods™ list to all attendees, register here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/baby-led-weaning-for-beginners⁠ Other episodes related to this topic: • Episode 13 - “Milk Protein: How to Introduce Your Baby to this Potentially Allergenic Food”⁠ • Episode 40  - “6 Reasons to Skip the Sippy Cup with Dawn Winkelmann, MS, CCC-SLP” ⁠ • Episode 285 - “Are Plant-Based Milks Safe for Babies?”

Last week, Bari sat down with Erika Kirk for an hour-long town hall in front of a live audience on CBS. It was an extremely powerful conversation. Erika and Bari spoke about a lot—rising political violence in this very divided country; the way some people justified or excused Charlie's murder; what Erika thinks about some of the controversial things Charlie said in his lifetime; her response to Candace Owens and the conspiracy theories Owens and others are peddling; the growing antisemitism on the right; and her decision to forgive Charlie's killer. They also talked about the posthumous release of Charlie's last book, Stop, in the Name of God: Why Honoring the Sabbath Will Transform Your Life. This town hall was the first of many conversations and debates Bari will be bringing to CBS News about the things that matter most. Which, of course, are often the hardest to talk about. We really hope you will tune in.  In case you missed this first one with Erika Kirk, we're thrilled to share the conversation here on Honestly. And we can't wait for you to catch the next one on CBS News. The Free Press earns a commission from any purchases made through all book links in this article. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode II chat with Mississauga, Canada artist JASY about the latest single "No Idea, Honestly"Follow the showwww.instagram.com/thesundaynightarmywww.twitter.com/sundaynightarmywww.facebook.com/thesundaynightarmylinktr.ee/thesundaynightarmyLooking for fresh music and insightful interviews? Join JAKUB, an aspiring journalist, podcaster, and artist, every week as he brings you the best of music discovery. From up-and-coming indie artists to legendary music icons, each episode features stories about their journeys and creative process.But that's not all! JAKUB also dives into current events, entertainment news, media, and politics, offering his unique take on what's happening in the world today. Plus, enjoy exciting interviews with special guests from all walks of life. Tune in to the ultimate podcast for music lovers

Tonight we have a Christmas-themed triple feature of public-domain movies as heard from the projection booth: The Star of Bethlehem (1950), Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1948), and Scrooge (1935).We'll also be running trailers from three really bad Christmas movies: Die Hard 2, Santa Conquers the Martians, and Santa Claus (1985). Plus one trailer for a really good Christmas movie, Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas. Rounding things out will be favorite 1980s-ish Christmas commercials and other vintage theater messaging (and a random appliance warehouse ad bc I want it stuck in everyone else's head too).So — The Star of Bethlehem was the only work I was familiar with before beginning this week's episode. It's inclusion is a shout-out to my late father, for his insistence that we make it to the midnight service to hear this story told again and again and again. Miss you, Dad.Religiosity aside, it's an astonishingly beautiful work. I have a computer, and I couldn't dream of producing something this wonderful. If you gave me a time machine to the 1950s, my MacBook, and pitted me against the creative team of Lotte Reiniger and Carl Koch, I would lose every time.Reiniger created articulated paper figures from spare cardboard and other materials, and the team animated them on glass over painted backgrounds. (Preservationists studying her paper figures believe they can tell what she was eating during production, based on what material ended up in the dolls.) One of their rigs also looked like the best bunk bed ever — photo on wiki. Honestly, give me a time machine just so I can hang out with this crew, they seem cool.Rudolph (1948) feels lower-budget by comparison. This is not Rankin/Bass Rudolph, man. It's based on Robert L. May's 1939 story, not the song. And to steal an internet meme: this is Zack Snyder Rudolph. Hard times — you can feel them oozing out of that steely, cold color palette. Which makes sense: World War II had just ended when production began.Going further back in time brings us to our feature film Scrooge (1935). The acting is solid and includes an Ebenezer expert (Seymour Hicks) as the lead. Variety, literally said Hicks could play Ebenezer upside down in its December 11, 1935 issue. And that Hicks played Scrooge for more than a quarter century both onstage and in two films including a silent Scrooge in 1913.As for trailers:Die Hard 2 — which is just Die Hard with the melodrama turned all the way up and relocated to an airport. Also, I'm positive the airplane-eject scene for John McClane was later pilfered by the GoldenEye folks… and it's nowhere near as cool.Santa Conquers the Martians, which I briefly toyed with making the feature; is awful.And Santa Claus (1985)... Last year my family stumbled onto a smart tv Christmas-movie list, and I saw Santa '85 and said, “Hon, I have a movie that will blow your ****** mind. It's like Superman meets Kris Kringle and is still earnest. Everyone is acting out of their brains. It's like Shakespeare. Like if Frank Miller did Shakespeare doing Superman.”And then I hit play like I was firing a heat-seeking photon torpedo at General Chang.Three minutes later, we're watching Santa drown in snow. A few minutes after that: bizarre McDonald's product placement. A scene of people merrily eating Quarter Pounders while, through the window, an unhoused and hungry child stares lustfully at the food consumption. His face framed by the Golden Arches.The movie is bad. But awesome bad. See it for John Lithgow, as an evil toymaker who excels at selling extremely dangerous **** to children. And Dudley Moore is a charming mutinous elf that tries to outdo Santa by creating candy canes that make children float. Definitely see it.And happy holidays, y'all.PS: If you're looking for an uncommon ambience episode with a more modern Scrooge, check out last year's ⁠The Night the Reindeer Died⁠: Christmas Workshop Ambience. "Yule love it."

Get ready to join me for my legendary 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.In this episode, I sit down with Kate the Colour, a leading Chromologist, (no, I didn't know what the hell that was either!) to explore how the colours we surround ourselves with can directly influence our energy, mindset and manifestation power. Kate breaks down the psychology behind colour, how different shades affect our nervous system and how we can use colour intentionally in our homes, wardrobes and daily routines to shift our vibration. If you've ever wondered why certain colours make you feel calm, powerful, confident, or creative, this conversation will open your eyes to the world of colour as a manifestation tool.We dive into practical, easy-to-apply ways to use colour to call in the life you want, whether you're manifesting love, money, clarity, confidence, or a whole new chapter. From creating high-vibe spaces to choosing colours that support your goals, Kate shares the secrets behind colour energy and how it shapes our subconscious. This episode is packed with insight, inspiration, and tangible steps you can take immediately to upgrade your environment, elevate your frequency, and manifest with intention.Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comBy the way, do we love my Amazon Storefront - it even has all my favourite self development books on there!(Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 2.14 of Arrow is a little contradicting for an Olicity shipper. On the one hand, Oliver just hooked up with Sara and is being all schmoopy in the Arrow cave which sucks. Felicity feels left out, which sucks. Sara and Oliver are ridiculously thoughtless about Laurel's feelings, which sucks (sorta?). On the other hand, we get a lot of Felicity and her feelings and motivations this episode which rules. We also get Oliver telling Laurel off once and for all which is fantastic. Honestly, all told, we think its a pretty great ep. Tune in to hear us yap about it.

Honestly somehow our most Catholic episode, in spite of the slurs not because of them. We deal with some gross episodes from Season 6, including one we can't write the title of without using a slur, so have fun with that!

Donald Trump has taken another swipe at Europe's “weak” leaders over Ukraine and immigration including a special mention for - surprise surprise - Sadiq Khan, who got a shout out for being a “horrible, vicious, disgusting mayor”. Honestly, why is he SO obsessed?!  But a Labour government trying to convince European allies to water down human rights law to deport people faster seems perfectly in line with Trump's vision. Nish and Coco are joined by Sky's Deputy Political Editor Sam Coates. They also take a dive into the latest allegation swirling around Reform UK - this time the party's election spending in Nigel Farage's Clacton constituency is under the spotlight. And the scale of the homelessness crisis always seems more acute at this time of year - so the Minister for Local Government and Homelessness, Alison McGovern, joins PSUK to explain how their new plan will be the one to finally make a difference. Finally - PSUK has watched the first episode of the Liz Truss Show, so you don't have to. Nish and Coco give it a rating out of one to limp lettuce. CHECK OUT THESE DEALS FROM OUR SPONSORS  BABBEL https://www.babbel.com/PSUK  AURA FRAMES https://www.auraframes.com Code: PSUK SHOPIFY Shopify.co.uk/podsavetheuk GUESTS  Sam Coates, Deputy Political Editor at Sky News Alison McGovern MP, Minister of State for Local Government and Homelessness USEFUL LINKS:  Nish's Carol Performance  CREDITS Politico  The Liz Truss Show / YouTube Keir Starmer MP / TikTok Rishi Sunak MP / TikTok Pod Save the UK is a Reduced Listening production for Crooked Media. Contact us via email: PSUK@reducedlistening.co.uk BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/podsavetheuk.crooked.com Insta: https://instagram.com/podsavetheuk Twitter: https://twitter.com/podsavetheuk TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@podsavetheuk Facebook: https://facebook.com/podsavetheukYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@PodSavetheUK Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pete's been out on the lash again, and you simply will not believe his drunken food of choice. Honestly, you could have a thousand guesses and you'd never get it. In other news this week, Luke is really hitting all the major milestones of middle age by taking up golf, there's some impassioned follow ups from listeners in our great airfryer debate, and the lads also reminisce about time they've spent in Istanbul. Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of ‘The Art of Living Big,’ host Betsy Pake discusses her journey of creating new traditions after a significant life change. She shares her experience of making intentional choices and emphasizes the importance of self-trust and honesty, encouraging listeners to honor their true desires. She also highlights the role of community and the value of supportive relationships. The episode concludes with reflections on the past year and the anticipation of new beginnings. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today.. I have something to talk to you today about, but , I wanna start by telling you about my Christmas tree. I, , it’s the holiday time. And if you’re new here, I have been living in an apartment this, whole year. I sold my house towards the end of last year. , , Got divorced, moved into this apartment. And in April I got a kitty. Okay, so these are important aspects to my thought process for the holidays this year, one of the things that I’ve really tried to do is just to create new traditions, , or new rituals in the morning. How I do things. I wanted it to be different. Like I didn’t wanna be rerunning old patterns. I really wanted to create something new for myself. And so. I have been really intentional about that over the year and as we get closer to the holidays, I was really thinking , do I wanna bring in the energy of all the old decorations? , There’s some things that I do wanna pull out like my daughter’s stalking and that kind of thing, but for the most part, I didn’t really feel aligned with it anymore. It’s like that person that owned all those things is so unfamiliar to me that I didn’t wanna bring the energy of it in. And because I got this cat, in Dean Martin I got in April, he’s a sweet, sweet kitty. I think he’s so close to cuddling with me. Honestly, he’s, he’s gonna cuddle any day, but it took a long time for him to warm up. I mean, it took him like four months before he even pured. Literally. I think he’d had like a hard life on the streets, you know? So when he got in my house, I basically kidnapped him and , I got him from the pound, but brought him home. He didn’t have any choice. And then he was like, what woman? You are crazy. So here we are. It’s Christmas time and I’m like, if I get a Christmas tree, , he’s gonna, it’s, he’s, it’s gonna be diabolical. He’s never gonna be able to handle it. And so I was thinking like, do I get like a Christmas tree? . , One of those pre-lit trees, like a big tree. Do I just get maybe a little tree? Do I get like just a tree that’s in a little fake tree that’s in like a pot? Do you know what I mean? I’m like, I could, I, went to a million different stores. I’m like looking at everything. I’m like, what am I gonna get? Because I think he’s gonna be just a nut job. So I finally went to Lowe’s last weekend and they had these two. Trees that kind of went together. One’s like maybe four feet, and the other one’s like maybe three feet. So they are supposed to sit next to each other. They’re connected. Their, light system is connected, or I would love to put them in separate spots, but they’re connected together. And it’s like a cone that has this holographic ribbon that sort of wraps around the cone and a star on top. And the lights are little, they’re not like little Christmas tree lights. It’s like a, I wanna say like a techno light. It’s like a strip. Do you know what I mean? Inside the thing. So it does all kinds of different things. It flashes, it dances, it twirls around. It does a million things. And so I thought. This will be really good because I don’t think Kitty will mess with it, and so anyway, I brought it home. It looks really pretty. Maybe you’ve seen it on Instagram. I’ve shared it in my stories, but I was correct. He is not messing with it, which is great. And it looks really pretty and the lights bring me a lot of joy. So. You know, we can create new experiences for ourselves that can be really good. I talk to women every day that are , trying to make these big decisions in their lives and in their marriage and what to do, and I think there is so much fear in the unknown that I wanted to kind of share that little piece of what’s going on here. Because what if it’s great? , What if it. All works out better than you thought. And we have so much power in our imagination, but so many times we use our imagination to go down the rabbit hole of all the things that could be wrong. And what if we harness that for , , what could happen if it could be great. And , this year I have thought, and I think I mentioned this last week, I’ve thought about doing a podcast just on my year. ’cause I think there have been so many lessons in it . , That everybody could benefit from, right? I mean, so many lessons, and you probably have a lot of lessons in your life too, that people could benefit from if you shared those. And so I have thought about that. ,, I might do it, but this year has been the most wild ups and downs and twists and turns. The way that it’s landing is just like the most beautiful place. Like I’m so happy with the way this year has turned out for me, , and next year already. Really amazing things to look forward to. I went to an event last month with my coach and the coaching group that I’m part of, and there was a new woman in the group who I just hit it off with. She was so fun and so cool, and she lives in New York City. I’ll have to have her on the show sometime. But anyway, the women in this group that I’m in, we all tend to form such tight friendships and we have stayed in the group. ,, This particular woman is new, but the other women. . We stay. And so we’ve been together for many years. And so I went for this walk with this new friend. We were there at the resort and we decided to go get coffee and we were gonna go for a walk. And we were just talking and I was talking about my year and some of the things that have happened and how great it’s been. And I said, , the only thing that I really miss. About having a partner because I really like being single., I’m in a really good place of just doing things on my own and discovering myself, and there’s no space right now for anybody else, , to be honest. But the one thing that I miss is, sometimes it is nice to have a built-in person to go. Travel with, right? Like to be able to go on a trip and to go with, and I have done many trips this year. I’ve gone by myself, I’ve gone with this group to several places, and it’s been great. And I love that. And there’s other places that I wanna go. And so she said, well, where would you go? And I said, well, I really wanna go to, to Morocco. I have a, a friend that I met online, and she and I message back and forth. She’s divorced as well. And you know how you just find somebody and you start talking? She’s a, a, famous author and we just have hit it off. So I’m like, I really wanna go see her. She lives in Marrakesh. And she was like, let’s go. So I was like, okay, we were on the walk, we booked the trip on the walk, opened up our apps. I, I am a big points girl, so I did it with points. I share that just because that is a privilege to be able to open up an app on a phone, on the, on a walk on and book a trip to Morocco. It was, , cost me $11 fees. Um, but I was able to, book my trip and to go to Morocco. So this spring we’re going to Morocco and it just goes to show you that for when you get in a place where it’s really clear what it is you like and what you don’t like, and you’re able to voice it, and you’re around people who are like extraordinary people, right? You’re building your life around people who. Like similar things and are adventurous and able to take those kinds of risks, , it, it can change everything. I think our community is so, so important, and I always say this inside the, women Inside the Navigate method, you know, , once you come into the Navigate Method, you’re sort of like in forever. I joke, that they can never get rid of us, , unless they want to. But you know, after you go through the program, you stay in our alumni group and we meet every month so people can see each other every month and form those relationships. Um, and if you wanna keep going with me, there’s an opportunity to do that in another way. . So building community I think is so incredibly important, and especially when we’re going through big things or hard things, and to be able to say like this is to have somebody witness your life, right? To be able to have somebody witness. Things that you’re going through. It doesn’t always have to be a partner or a spouse. And many times we have partners or spouses and they’re still not witnessing your life. Right. It’s just a, a placeholder. And so I have found that there is just such a, a, need for this and a way to do it. I think women are coming together in community in totally new ways. Which, leads me to remind you that next month in January we’re doing the fireside chat. If you go onto Instagram and you just message me fire, it’ll automatically send you the link or the, link is in my bio. , Every month we’re just getting together, , on Zoom and you can turn your camera on or leave it off, whatever’s comfortable to you. And I’ve got questions that I ask and we just kind of reflect and get together for this. I call it the middle verse, right? This is where we are in the middle verse. And so I think creating those pockets of community is really invaluable in terms of building a life that feels really good and really full, you know? And I think that’s where, , where I could say I am right now. After this year, I have built a life that feels really good and really full there. And when I say that I’m not looking for a partner. I know a lot of times my friends will ask , are you gonna date? And I just, my life is really full and really good. I don’t, I’m not missing anything. And now I have a fun, somebody fun to travel with, so there’s no, there’s nothing missing. Um, and maybe someday there will be, but right now it just feels really good. So I think that as we. Look, and we think about well, what will my life be like? I wanna just reflect that. What if it’s better than you thought it would be? Like, what if things come together in ways you couldn’t expect? If you had told me last Christmas, you will have just booked a free trip to Mor Morocco with a new friend That is so fun and lovely like. Probably, well, I probably would’ve believed you just because, ’cause I’m open to that kind of stuff. But it would have been like, oh my God, that’s cool. That’s really cool. But being in a place where I was open to receiving that is, is the thing maybe that would have surprised me. So to this, week, I wanna talk to you a little bit about something that has been on my mind when I’ve been thinking about this past year, and I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. , And I’ve been thinking about the thing that I think rises to the top of so many of our conversations inside the Navigate Method, and it is this moment when a woman realizes that she’s spent years and years editing herself in order to keep the peace. And I think. Probably likely, in my case at least, I know I can say this for myself, years of looking for outward validation, right? I would, kind of throw ideas off of my dad or my sister when I was younger, you know, when I was in my twenties or even thirties, gosh, I mean probably forties. I probably was doing it in my forties, but always looking to make sure I was doing things right. Checking on someone else’s emotional weather before I even knew how I felt about things. And at some point the cost of that becomes really huge. Because when you start to outsource your decisions or your peace long enough, you start to detach from what is you. So instead, you are seeing everything through a lens of what would they think? What would my dad’s response be? How would my sister react to this? What would my spouse think? Or my brothers or sisters, or. Coworkers or whoever that is for you. And in that you stop believing that your instincts are reliable and you start, I think, really doubting parts of you that do speak really loudly. And the more that you deny those parts of you, the harder it is to be able to hear it. Right? I mean, if you keep shushing. Part of you, if you keep shushing someone, pretty soon they’re gonna shush. Right? And that’s the thing that I hear over and over inside the Navigate method when I work with women is like I, I don’t even know. I have no idea what I think. Like you could ask me a question like, do I like shells or spirals, pasta better? I don’t know. But I know what my husband likes better. I know what my kids would prefer. So today what I wanna do is I wanna talk about what it really means to become the woman that you can trust, because I think that is the foundation for all decision making and for creating a really big life, right? It’s not about your partner’s approval, it’s not about your family’s expectations. It is not about the path that is very safe. Or respectable. I hear this a lot too, like what will people think? Right? The foundation of all of this is you and it’s your inner knowing and, I think that there is a, woman inside you who, who has always known, but we were taught out it was taught out of us, right? Or you know, I don’t know. Screamed out of us or whatever, so that we started to quiet that piece. And I have noticed even in myself over the past year and now I’ve been a, coach in doing this work since 2012, like a long time. I have done decades of my own work. I have done. Everything from therapy to meditating for days on end to screaming into a pillow. Do you know what I mean? , I’ve done it all. I’ve run the gamut. And what I know that from this past year is that rebuilding your trust isn’t about becoming fearless. It is about becoming honest. It’s about being honest with yourself and how you feel. It’s becoming honest with what you have tolerated. It’s becoming honest with what you have been carrying that was maybe never yours to carry in the first place. And I think that self-trust starts to build every time that you tell yourself the truth. And I always say this in my groups, is you don’t have to take action on it. You can still betray yourself in the action, but if you’re telling yourself the truth. Being honest about what it is you really want. Even if you don’t do it, it is a step forward. And I wanna say that again ’cause I think it really matters, is that self-trust builds every time you tell yourself the truth and then you can start to learn to stay with yourself through the consequences of that truth. I saw something online a couple days ago and I thought it was so good and it was like, you’re not stuck. You just don’t wanna go through the, consequences of what will happen if you act on that truth. And I thought, oh dang, that’s so good. Right? It’s so good. And I think that for a lot of us, , the idea of being true is foreign because we were really raised to be agreeable. I was talking. Inside one of my groups the other day, and I was saying that my lease is coming up and my plan was to buy a house. And now things have shifted and I’m not sure where, if I wanna stay here, there’s some opportunities that I may take to move to a new city. , I don’t wanna sign a year long lease. And when I asked my body what. How long I wanted to be here. I asked, is it six months? And I felt very unsteady. And I asked, is it a year lease? ’cause those are the options they gave me. They gave me six months, 12 months, 13 months, which I thought was weird. Um, I think that’s what it was. And when I asked my body 12 months, I felt constricted. Like, no, I gotta get outta here. And so it was eight months. Eight months is where my body felt relaxed and happy and positive. And so I asked the apartment, can I get an eight month lease? And the lady, the manager, said, yeah, but I’ll have to, I mean, I don’t know. I’ll have to ask corporate. And she looked at me and she’s very sweet, but she looked at me like, it’s more work for her. God love her. She looked at me like, take the six or the 12, ’cause I have to do more work. If you want eight. And there was a moment where it was uncomfortable, and then a moment where I decided it was okay. That’s what I wanted. That was my truth. And when I was talking in groups, someone in group was like, I could never do that. I could never do that. And I think that you can get to a place where you can do. Because self-trust builds every time you tell yourself the truth and you stay with yourself through the consequences of that truth. And the consequences of that truth were that I had to sit with the uncomfortableness while someone else sorted out in their head how they were gonna take a step forward and ask corporate. And when they were gonna do that, and they were a new person down there, new manager, and they were going through their own process and I didn’t need to fix that. I just asked, I just had to ask and then see what the answer was would be. And I still don’t know. And so we wait. We wait and we’d be comfortable in that waiting. And I think,, , we were raised to just, just take the 12 months, it’s fine, you’ll stay a couple more months. And that may be what I do, but I needed to ask in order to move forward and feel like I had honored myself. You know, if you were, , someone in a family where you had to really walk on eggshells, maybe. You had a explosive mom or dad or an alcoholic, all of these things, you may have been tiptoeing around and minimizing everything that you needed just to be able to move through things. And it can be really hard to make these shifts. So self-trust is rebuilt in the moments. Where you’re truth telling and they’re micro moments., I talked last week, I think it was about micro joy. The, small things, the doing, the puzzle, the snuggling with the cat, if you’ll ever let me, like all these little things are what makes life bearable. ’cause life has big, hard things. And I think self-trust is in micro moments of truth telling, telling the truth to yourself, to the people that matter. And over time those start to become a pattern. It starts to become who you are. , When I was in group and that woman said, I could never do that, I thought to myself, I think I used to be like that too, where I would never do that. And I think that you do over time as you create that, you create a new identity. It’s a new way of being and a new way of relating to yourself and eventually a new way of relating to everybody else. Right? So I think that a woman who really trusts herself doesn’t make the decisions that she has to make from a place of fear. She makes them from a place of clarity. Right? And I think about, , going back to the apartment lease, it may seem insignificant. And I thought to myself, I have to ask because I have to honor what it is that I feel. Even if I end up choosing one of the others, I’ll feel really good that I did this ask, and I think that, , over time we get this new identity and then we don’t even have that conversation back and forth in our head. I’m guessing by next Christmas as I continue and continue and continue to do this, that. It won’t even be, it won’t even be something I would, it would be like tying your shoe, right? I don’t have to watch a YouTube every time I go to tie my shoe. Right? So I think that there is a part of this whole process that surprises women in, in, I notice this when we’re teaching it inside the Navigate method, is that, that when you start doing this, when you start. Rebuilding trust, rebuilding that self-trust, you’re gonna feel grief. And that feels so foreign to people. And sometimes they’ll be like, I don’t know what this is. And we talk a lot about, what are the specifics? I have a dictionary on my desk and someone will say, I have resentment. And I’ll open up and we’ll read the definition. And I’ll say, does that define what you just described? No. So what is this really? And I think that one of the things that we run into so many times is we run into a feeling of grief. And this grief is about the years that you abandon yourself. So many times I hear women say this is resentment towards their husband or resentment towards, , or anger towards si situations or things that have happened. But I can always trace it back. Yes, , did. Somebody overstep your boundaries. Yeah, like all those things, he’s not off the hook. That’s not what this is about. This is about you recognizing that you may have feelings of grief for the moments that you did know better, but you felt you had no choice. You felt you had to do it to keep the peace you felt you had to do it. ’cause that’s what a good wife does, or a good sister does. Or a good daughter does. Grief. Grief for a version of you that, that put everybody else first. That version of you was slowly disappearing while everybody else was really comfortable, and I think that this grief isn’t a sign that. You’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign that you’re actually returning, right? That you are becoming a woman who you can trust. And that means trusting yourself enough to let your past self know that she was never wrong or weak, but she was doing the very best she could with the tools that she had. And now you have new tools, right? So now you can do it differently. So here’s the North Star in all this. To start small. I know I say, I know. Start small, right? Start small, start honest and start with just one moment of noticing when you override yourself. This can even be after. This can be you get in bed at night and you’re like, where did I abandon myself today? It’s gonna be a tiny moment where saying no, when you mean no. Is important and you’re gonna notice where you said yes when you meant no. And there’s gonna be a moment where you are okay saying no, and you might brace yourself and nothing bad will happen. And I think that moment. Also leads to some grief because you may realize that you were doing things to protect yourself, and it was a pattern that you created when you were young and it worked and it was needed at that time. But now you are a grown ass adult and you don’t necessarily need the, pattern. But maybe you’ve created a bit of that experience for yourself by acting that way in places that you didn’t need to, like with the apartment complex, right? Every one of those moments is like a brick in a foundation of the woman that you were and the woman that you’re now becoming. And there can be a new steadiness, right? A new groundedness in this, a new version of you that isn’t looking for permission, or to validate yourself from anybody else, and that’s self-trust,? And that I think is really the beginning , of living a big life, right? So this season, as we’re going really into the, real Christmas holiday season, whatever holiday you that you celebrate, this time of year, new Year’s at least, that is a universal, but I want you to just notice. You are allowed to rebuild a relationship with yourself. I want you to remember that and that you are not necessarily becoming somebody new, but you are returning to the woman that you always have been and that you’ve always been meant to be. And this is the one who knows, the one who is certain, the one who chooses, the one who trusts herself. And the one who trusts herself enough to live a life that is built on that reflection of truth. And you can start it right now, practice through the holidays. There’ll be so many opportunities to practice on the holidays. And just start with one little promise. I will not abandon myself again. Alright. That’s all I got for you this week. Thanks so much for listening. I love you guys so much. I will see you, I will see you next week. I think what we’re gonna do, we’ll have maybe one more this year, and then I’m gonna take some time off for the holiday, which I’m really excited about, and then we’ll be back after the new year. , My plan is to be here next week. Then take some time. So I’ll see you next week, but I hope if you don’t catch next week, I hope you have a really wonderful, a wonderful holiday and new year. I hope you do something that really lights you up. I hope you see the value that you brought to everybody over this past year and. How you can really show up for yourself in a new way in 2026. , 2025 is the year of endings. It is a nine year in numerology. We are moving into a one year, and that is the year of new beginnings. So what do you need to leave behind this year and what can you call in for next? We’ll talk about that maybe more next week. All right. I love you guys. I’ll see you then. Bye-bye. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake. And on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring and keep living big.

Check out the Blue Moon Podcast Annual 2026: https://www.patreon.com/collection/1882955 ========== Another pair of victories, as Manchester City put in perhaps their most controlled and dominant performance of the season against Sunderland... and then had to dig in and get the job done at Real Madrid. David Mooney is joined by City fan Ciaran Murray and, from the Daily Mail, Jack Gaughan to discuss both of those matches. Dan Burke is on the show looking at Phil Foden's return to form and hearing what both the player and his manager said about the tough times he endured in the last 12-18 months. We also speak to comedian and Crystal Palace fan Andre Vincent about the match at Selhurst Park on Sunday, plus we look ahead to the tie with Brentford in the League Cup. On top of that, we're talking flashy assists and... urine that smells like perfume. Honestly. ========== To get more podcasts or to listen without the ads, join our Patreon. It's just £2 per month for all the extra content and you can get a 7-day free trial first: https://www.patreon.com/BlueMoonPodcast And why not gift a Patreon subscription to a friend or family member? More details: https://www.patreon.com/BlueMoonPodcast/gift

GDP Script/ Top Stories for December 11th Publish Date: December 11th PRE-ROLL: SUGAR HILL ICE SKATING From the BG AD Group Studio Welcome to the Gwinnett Daily Post Podcast. Today is Thursday, December 11th and Happy birthday to Nikki Six I’m Peyton Spurlock and here are your top stories presented by KIA Mall of Georgia. Atlanta Christkindl Market proving a hit in Lawrenceville Gwinnett commissioners OK 4% salary adjustment for county employees Paul Duke STEM High School honored for work to improve student outcomes Plus Shane Delancey the Director of the Christmas Tradition at the Strand Theatre All of this and more is coming up on the Gwinnett Daily Post podcast, and if you are looking for community news, we encourage you to listen daily and subscribe! Break 1: GCPS Hiring-Villa Rica Wonderland Train STORY 1: Atlanta Christkindl Market proving a hit in Lawrenceville Avery Boutin and Jordan Lettis had never been to the Atlanta Christkindl Market before, but now that it’s landed in their backyard? They couldn’t resist. Sunday night, they joined the crowd under twinkling string lights, wandering the aisles, riding the Ferris wheel, and—of course—grabbing raclette sandwiches. This is the market’s first year in Lawrenceville, and it’s already a hit. City Manager Chuck Warbington said it’s tripled downtown foot traffic. Vendors? 90 booths, everything from bratwursts to alpaca scarves. And the hot chocolate line? Let’s just say, patience required. STORY 2: Gwinnett commissioners OK 4% salary adjustment for county employees Gwinnett County employees just got an early Christmas surprise—4% raises, approved by commissioners on Tuesday. Starting pay? Now at least $40,000 a year for full-timers. Not bad, right? The adjustment, retroactive to Oct. 25, bumps up pay ranges across the board, including public safety roles. Chairwoman Nicole Love Hendrickson called it a step toward addressing inflation and keeping Gwinnett competitive. “We’re investing in the people who keep this county running,” she said. With a $2.6 billion budget vote looming in January, it’s unclear how this raise fits in. But for now? A little extra in the paycheck feels good. STORY 3: Paul Duke STEM High School honored for work to improve student outcomes Paul Duke STEM High just snagged a huge honor—one of only two schools in Georgia named a 2025 National ESEA Distinguished School. Pretty big deal, right? This recognition isn’t handed out lightly. It’s for Title I schools that are crushing it academically and making real strides with their students. Principal Dr. Jonathon Wetherington couldn’t be prouder. “This is about our students, our teachers, our families—all of us,” he said. Their STEMforALL initiative? Game-changer. It’s hands-on, rigorous, and inclusive, reaching multilingual learners, students with disabilities, and those facing economic challenges. Oh, and Flex Fridays? Genius. Targeted support, projects, college prep—it’s working. Graduation rates? Over 90%. We have opportunities for sponsors to get great engagement on these shows. Call 770.874.3200 for more info. We’ll be right back Break 2: Kia Mall of Georgia - DTL HOLIDAY STORY 4: Gwinnett County Public Library offering RISE Teen Entrepreneurship program Got a teen with big dreams of running their own business? Gwinnett County Public Library’s RISE Teen Entrepreneurship Program might be just the thing. Starting Feb. 17, 2026, this four-week crash course will teach teens (ages 13–19) how to turn ideas into real businesses. Here’s the deal: they’ll brainstorm, build a business plan, and pitch their ideas to local entrepreneurs in a Shark Tank-style showdown. Winners? Cash prizes. Meetings are weekly, 5:30–7:30 p.m., at the Lawrenceville Hooper-Renwick branch. Deadline to apply? Jan. 5. Oh, and library cardholders can use maker spaces—think laser printers, podcast gear, sewing machines—for free. Dream big, Gwinnett! STORY 5: Touchdown Club of Gwinnett Honors Best in 2025 High School Football The Touchdown Club of Gwinnett threw a big bash Monday at 12Stone Church, celebrating the absolute best of Gwinnett high school football from the 2025 season. And wow, what a lineup. Buford’s Tyriq Green snagged Athlete of the Year—no surprise there, considering he’s leading his team to the Class AAAAAA state finals. North Gwinnett cleaned up too, with Zach Lewis (Offensive Lineman), Max Patterson (Tight End), and Chauncey Davis (Defensive Back) all taking home top honors. Other schools? Brookwood, Collins Hill, and Grayson had multiple winners, too. Honestly, the talent in this county is unreal. Full list? It’s long—like, really long. But trust me, these kids earned it. GEORGIA SWARM: The Georgia Swarm are itching to get back on the floor. After dropping their season opener to Buffalo—yeah, the three-time champs, no big deal—they’ve had a week off to regroup. That 15-11 loss? Not ideal. Saturday, Dec. 13, they’re finally at home, Gas South Arena, facing the Oshawa FireWolves. Rookie Nolan Byrne? Scored his first goal in Buffalo. Shayne Jackson? Four goals, still a beast. And this team? Big. Fast. Aggressive. Fans better buckle up—it’s gonna be fun. Here is Shane Delancey the Director of the Christmas Tradition at the Strand Theatre Break 3: THE STRAND - Ingles Markets 7 - THE SUGAR HILL HOLIDAY Signoff – Thanks again for hanging out with us on today’s Gwinnett Daily Post Podcast. If you enjoy these shows, we encourage you to check out our other offerings, like the Cherokee Tribune Ledger Podcast, the Marietta Daily Journal, or the Community Podcast for Rockdale Newton and Morgan Counties. Read more about all our stories and get other great content at www.gwinnettdailypost.com Did you know over 50% of Americans listen to podcasts weekly? Giving you important news about our community and telling great stories are what we do. Make sure you join us for our next episode and be sure to share this podcast on social media with your friends and family. Add us to your Alexa Flash Briefing or your Google Home Briefing and be sure to like, follow, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the BG Podcast Network Show Sponsors: www.ingles-markets.com www.kiamallofga.com Ice Rink – Downtown Sugar Hill Holiday Celebration 2025 – City of Sugar Hill https://www.downtownlawrencevillega.com/ Team GCPS News Podcast, Current Events, Top Headlines, Breaking News, Podcast News, Trending, Local News, Daily, News, Podcast, Interviews See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Somehow it has been ten years since The Force Awakens and this new era of Star Wars began and this week we are looking back at that movie and all the new stories set in the galaxy far far away that it led to. Join us as we pick the one moment from the last decade that defines the era for us and we discuss where we hope Star Wars storytelling could go in the next ten years! So alert the Resistance, call up Teedo, listen today and celebrate the love! JOIN THE BLAST POINTS ARMY and SUPPORT BLAST POINTS ON PATREON! NEW ANDOR SEASON 2 EPISODE COMMENTARIES! HEAR EPISODES EARLY AND SO MUCH MORE! Theme Music! downloadable tunes from episodes! Extra goodies! and so much MORE! www.patreon.com/blastpoints Blast Points T-SHIRTS are now available! Represent your favorite podcast everywhere you go! Get logo shirts while supplies last! Perfect for conventions, dates, formal events and more! Get them here: www.etsy.com/shop/Gibnerd?section_id=21195481 If you dug the show, please leave BLAST POINTS a review on iTunes, Spotify and share the show with friends! If you leave an iTunes review, we will read it on a future episode! Honestly! Talk to Blast Points on twitter at @blast_points "Like" Blast Points on Facebook Join the Blast Points Super Star Wars Chill Group here www.facebook.com/groups/BlastPointsGroup/ we are also on Instagram! Wow! www.instagram.com/blastpoints Your hosts are Jason Gibner & Gabe Bott! contact BLAST POINTS at : contact@blastpointspodcast.com May the Force be with you, always! This podcast is not affiliated in any way with Lucasfilm Ltd. LLC, The Walt Disney Company, or any of their affiliates or subsidiaries.

This episode of Lez Hang Out is brought to you by Wet For Her.  Can't get enough Lez Hang Out? Join our Patreon family to unlock 27 full-length bonus episodes, ad-free weekly episodes, mp3 downloads of our original songs, exclusive Discord access, and more! You can also support our little podcast team by shopping small at bit.ly/lezmerch. We have cozy gifts for everyone on your list and free shipping on orders $100 or more.  Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast that still would not sleep with a man even to avoid the outrageously high cost of IVF.  This week, Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out to talk about 2025's The Wedding Banquet, for this Lez-ssentials episode, a recurring segment on the essential movies and TV shows in the lesbian canon. We both thought this movie was going to be a lighthearted comedy, but after sobbing on a plane Ellie would beg to differ.  The Wedding Banquet stars Bowen Yang, Lily Gladstone, and Kelly Marie Tran in what is technically a remake of a film from 1993 (which we have not seen). The story is a bit out-there, but the characters resonate all the same. If you haven't seen it, the basic plot is this: a gay man and his lesbian bestie decide to help each other out by getting married in exchange for a green card for him and free IVF for her. Honestly with how expensive IVF is (and the general state of immigration), we 1000% get it. There may be nothing more quintessentially 2025 than the gays teaming up to defraud the government and get free healthcare. From the intergenerational trauma and classic mommy-issues to the chosen family and ‘be gay, do crime' of it all, we think The Wedding Banquet is a must-watch. At the end of the episode, stick around to hear our original song based on The Wedding Banquet, titled “Pieces”, written by Leigh Holmes Foster and produced by Ellie Brigida. This and all of our original “Lez-ssential” songs are available for purchase on Bandcamp.  Give us your own answers to our Q & Gay on Instagram and follow along on Facebook, TikTok, YouTube and BlueSky @lezhangoutpod. Email us @lezhangoutpod@gmail.com. Connect with us individually: Ellie Brigida (@elliebrigida). Leigh Holmes Foster (@lshfoster). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices