Podcasts about Honestly

Forget a lump of coal. Trump put Democrats' coal on a conveyor belt and fed it directly into their stockings like he's firing up a steel mill. This is industrial punishment, OSHA-approved, with a grin that says, you earned every ounce of this.Honestly, did I miss a sequel to Die Hard? One where Santa swaps the sleigh for tactical boots and starts muttering about consequences? Because Santa is on a rampage. Somewhere between Rambo: First Blood and Silent Night, Santa and Rambo must have signed a mutual aid agreement. Red suit. Green beret energy. And yes, Santa has issued a full-blown fatwa on Democrats and their political minions.Democrats know it too. You can see it in their faces. This is the look of people who know they're skipping Christmas this year. If you were a Democrat, would you even bother putting up a tree? Why waste the ornaments when the whole thing is going to get shaken down for evidence? Hanging stockings feels optimistic, like leaving milk and cookies for the repo man.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Quaranteam - Dave In Dallas: Part 6 Planning a Future. Based on a post by RonanJWilkerson, in 12 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. October 17, 2020. All of Dave's partners were at the park, setting up the folding table and portable gazebo. None of his partners were wilting flowers, so he couldn't exactly muscle his way in to doing the set up. But, they had taken off with the intent that three would return to clean the dishes while the rest hung out in the park for Shawna to get off in barely an hour. Roscoe and Esme, of course, were among those getting to run around in the grass and fresh air. So, Dave was at the sink, scrubbing dishes with some of his favorite songs playing out of his Echo Show in the kitchen. The volume was cranked, and so was Dave's voice as he sang along, rather skillfully, but a bit out of practice. Currently, he was belting through a Kenny Loggins song. One that got him energized and moving. Isabella's eyes, Oh, shine your light and make your momma smile "Who, yeah, shake it baby!" Dave spun around, caught in the act. Doing dishes, and singing. And dancing. Sort of. Mel and Becca stood at the entrance to the kitchen, clapping and whistling. Lupie was beside them, with a smile and a raised eyebrow. "I claim dibs on naming my first daughter Isabella!" Rebecca called out. Melanie pursed her lips and looked defeated. "I'd fight you for that privilege, but with a daughter named Esmeralda, that'd be too close. Besides," Lupie added with a wry smile, "some would say it's the same name, so I guess I got there first." Then, she playfully stuck out her tongue. Now, Lupie is often fun loving, but this was a level of silly unheard of for her. Everyone was too busy laughing with her to show much in the way of shock though. Dave moved in to hug her and delivered a soft kiss. Lupie hummed into the kiss and smiled before pulling back with a playful scowl. "Don't think I forgot you were doing basic chores, David." "They needed doing, and I didn't have much on my plate at the moment, corazon ." Lupie just narrowed her eyes at Dave's reply, but the smile below gave away her jest. For added measure, Dave slapped her ass and then squeezed. That and Lupie's 'Eep!' got Mel and Becca laughing again. Then they took up position behind Dave's shoulders, so he was surrounded by his partners. Their hands slid along his sides in ways that were chaste, for now, but hinted at an interest in something more. "No, horny girls, remember this is Shawna's celebration. Picnic party in the park, the gift from Becca and Reena, and then she gets Dave all to herself until after breakfast." The younger women groaned, but acquiesced. "Shawna's heading straight there from work, and she texted me a few minutes ago she was on her way out the door. We need to wrap up here in short order and get to the park." Lupie sent Dave to wash up and change for the party while the ladies finished the remaining dishes and picked up the last needed items for the party. They got to the park about ten minutes before Shawna, or just enough time for Roscoe to finish saying hello to each of them. The other ladies greeted Shawna warmly, then she advanced on Dave, who had been waiting his turn. "Congratulations, babe. I'm proud of you and happy for you." Shawna wrapped him in a tight hug and a long, lingering kiss that was smoky rather than fiery. "I've been looking forward to that all day." Dave smiled and dropped a quick peck on her lips. "So, just the two of us until tomorrow morning huh?" Shawna grinned. "Umm-hmm. Very accommodating crew you've drawn to you, darling." "And pretty good cooks too. You should get something to eat. I made that cucumber tomato salad you like." "Ooo, with the fresh veggies you just harvested?" Dave nodded. Shawna skipped happily to the table, Dave beside her, holding her hand. Dave ate a double helping of everything. Each dish was tasty, and he was hungry. He sidled up to Shawna. "So how's Skippy the Wonder Boy doing?" Shawna's department now consisted of her, a young and fresh out of college guy with his master's in meteorology, and a young lady that was on her internship last spring when lockdowns hit. Each had different levels of skills, and each had shortages that Shawna, as the boss, had to train them up from. At least 'Skippy' had finished all the classes. He seemed like a pleasant guy on air. Unfortunately, he looked perpetually 14, wearing one of daddy's suits. The scruffy attempt at a beard was not helping. Shawna's scowled. Hard. "Mitchell is coming along just fine. Especially for a young man thrust into a position with far more responsibility than he should have to carry this soon out of school." "I'm sorry, hun. He always comes off as very pleasant, but he also looks way too young." "He is too young. He's handling his professional duties quite well, though. It's his personal life I worry about occasionally." "How so?" "Well, his first partner was a former Cowboys cheerleader, and looks it. She's been off the squad for two years, so she didn't get snapped up by some rich guy wanting a trophy." Shawna paused to a rough exhale. "But yeah, this earnest, and rather naïve, nerd boy has the devastatingly hot, bubbly woman three years older than him dumped in his lap. His first day back after she'd joined him, I thought the top of his head was going to fall off, he was smiling so big." Dave snorted at the image. He could understand the boy's predicament. That made him think. "That was just the start. His second partner was his sister's best friend; she was homecoming queen and prom queen. The sad side is, his sister didn't make it." Shawna's voice caught. "So sometimes he's having sex with this beauty that he never thought would come near him, and sometimes they're crying together over his dead sister and her dead friend." "Damn this fucking virus," Dave said huskily. He blew out a breath. "He really is one of us isn't he?" Shawna nodded. "How many partners does he have?" "Mindy, his fourth partner joined him last week. He's probably getting a fifth soon." She thought for a moment. "Guess that means you'll be getting another lady soon as well." Dave shrugged. "Yeah, maybe. I'm at seven now, so maybe that's it. That would be fine by me. Any one of you alone are incredible." He paused for the appreciative kiss. "I was thinking, if both families are plused up enough to be safe, then maybe we should invite him and his partners over. For games, or just talk and some background music." Shawna brightened. "Now that's the man I fell for." She kissed him firmly on the cheek. "I don't know if he has any friends or family left, and his girls are nice ladies, but not nerds. Well, Ginger, his third partner is an anime fan, but I think that's the extent of her nerd creds. Mindy's an athlete. Now, all of them love him to death, and they may share some of his other interests, but not the nerdy stuff." Dave frowned. "Sounds like Oracle isn't working out for him." "Oh, no. He has interests that aren't strictly speaking nerdy. And I know there's some sharing going on there. Kelly, the former cheerleader, shares his love of gardening." "And that's something Liv and I can share with the both of them." "Yup." "Okay, let's talk it over with the others and plan something." Dave looked chagrined. "So, uh, what's his real name?" Shawna gave him a pursed-lip grin with narrow eyes. "Mitch. Mitchell Westfield" "I'll work on that." Shawna gave him some side-eye, but with a grin, as they walked back to the others. Becca and Reena were waving them over excitedly and everyone had gathered around the box with the cake Lupie'd made. Shawna opened the package Reena held up for her. In the small box was a black t-shirt with the station logo over the heart on the front and "Weather Boss" across the back. The girls had carefully made sure it was just the right fit, not too snug or too loose for Shawna to wear to work. She laughed and hugged each teen. "You two are pretty awesome you know?" Both young ladies beamed. Shawna draped the t-shirt over her shoulder as Lupie opened the box to reveal the cake. It was three layers, with milk chocolate icing. On the top was the station logo, with the words 'Chief Meteorologist'. Around the sides, as one walked around, there was a sun breaking through clouds, a cloud with rain falling from it, and the third tableau depicted a tornado, with a bit of dust obscuring the bottom. "Oh, it's perfect Lupie! Thank you so much!" The ladies embraced before Lupie set about slicing the well-crafted dessert. Naturally, Shawna got the first slice. Between the layers was a thin puree of strawberries; Shawna's favorite. That was good for a small happy dance, which in turn, made Lupie happy. With everyone chatting happily, Dave slipped away from the others. He just had a small side trip he needed to make. About fifteen minutes later, Shawna came around the bend in the sidewalk as it exited the trees near the base of the bridge. She moved, unhurried, to Dave's side as he stood at the peak of the bridge, looking down at the stream passing below. In flood stage, it took a wider path, and might legitimately be called a river. Most of the time, it remained within the narrow channel with broad margins that were pleasant to walk along if you wore the right footwear. "You know, we all saw you leave. We just thought you needed some space. Or some time." She looked into his face, seeing the evidence of tears, but not a full-on bawling episode. "This is Eddie's bridge isn't it?" Eyes watering again, Dave didn't trust himself to speak and merely nodded. Shawna stepped closer and hugged him. They stood like that for a few minutes before she slowly released him. "Thanks. I needed that. I just; I'm such a damn wimp. I know I need to be stronger for all of you, but I; I can't move past this." "You keep focusing on the times you fall down. I see the man that gets back up, shoulders the burden, and keeps going." "I don't want to though, I only do it because I have to." "That's what makes you the man I've fallen in love with. No one wants to take the burden, and some people refuse to do it. You do it, knowing how much pain you'll go through again." "This world sucks ya know." "It always has, we just papered over it and let ourselves forget. Now is one of the times the ugliness rips through the paper walls and makes us look it in the face." Shawna paused to stroke the side of Dave's face soothingly. "Do you remember the Kurlan Naiskos, in TNG?" "Yeah." "One of your voices is an ox. Carry any burden, push through any problem, get the job done no matter the cost to yourself. A low-key hero. Maybe not the only hero within you. All I'm saying is, I am very glad to have you in my life, and to be a part of your life." They stood there at the railing, looking at the water for a minute or so. Then Shawna spoke again. "Honestly David, we're talking about your son's death here. I'd be worried if you weren't having bouts of sorrow. Hell, that would scare the shit out of me. I'd much rather come home to find you curled into a fetal position bawling your eyes out, than you just blithely going about your life as if nothing happened." Dave looked up at her and smiled weakly. "Okay. Sorry, I just feel like such a pussy when I get like this." "Don't make me tell Becca on you," Shawna said with a grin. With a sly smile, Dave rejoined, "So, how may I convince you to keep my dirty secret?" "Hmm, kitty's hungry, Davey." Shawna said in a low tone. Then she nibbled her finger and switched to a higher pitched schoolgirl pleading tone. "Kitty needs cream. Please Davey, pump your cream into my hungry, wet kitty." "Kitty hell, I'm looking at a strong, capable panther that could eat me alive and make me smile the whole time." Shawna grinned, excited. The skirt she wore that day was long and loose, without being flowy. Dave knelt briefly to reach his hands up and pull off her thong panties. He stuffed them in his pocket as she gathered the lower part of her skirt in her hands and leaned back against the railing. Fortunately, Dave was wearing jeans instead of cargo shorts today. Cargos would have dropped to his ankles the moment he unbuckled, leaving his bare ass out for anyone to walk by and see. Though no one seemed to be on the trail today. Instead, he unbuckled and unzipped, lowering his jeans and boxers just enough to bring his already half-erect cock out. When he stepped closer to Shawna, she wrapped her left leg around his waist and draped the skirt to cover the both of them. A few minutes of hungry kisses and energetic groping had Dave at full mast. He slipped himself inside Shawna's drenched pussy while she groaned. They fucked hard. Shawna focused mostly on staying upright and close, but put some effort into fucking back at him. Dave drove himself into her, his hunger matching hers, one hand behind her torso, the other fondling her tit through her shirt and bra roughly, the way she liked when they were going fast. His thumb and forefinger grasped at her nipple, and Shawna hit her first orgasm. She shook in Dave's arms, her rippling inner muscles running riot on his intruding organ. As she calmed, he approached his peak. She could see it in his eyes and urged him onward with soft, lusty whispers. As Dave erupted, she clutched him tight, her body overcome with spasms as the serum renewed her attachment to him, giving her pleasure when he attained climax. When her shuddering subsided, she kissed him warmly. Dave slipped himself out of her and quickly fixed his boxers and jeans. He handed her panties back, so she had something to stem the fluids flowing out of her. There were knowing smiles when they rejoined the others, but no commentary. In the mid-evening, with dusk sufficiently fallen outside, Dave and Shawna lay cozily tangled in the bath. With darkness outside and only the smallest, dimmest light on the vanity, the lighting gave a warm, inviting ambience. Peach bubble bath scented the air more than the water. It was just a little late in the year for a fresh peach; Dave checked that early in his planning. Shawna took another deep breath, a big, lazy grin on her face. "My favorite scent ever." "So can I call you my Georgia peach, even if you're not from Georgia?" "Well, I sort of am. My mother's from Georgia. Mom and Dad met at UGA. He was majoring in Civil Engineering and she was majoring in Music Education. When they graduated, they moved to St Louis to start their new life together. Dad grew up in Creve Coeur, a town near St Louis." "That's a sweet story." "Umm hmm. I'm hoping to have the same happily ever after here. They're both alive and quarantining hard. Hopefully, the vaccine will get there soon. I haven't said anything to them directly, but they are being careful." Dave gave a slight extra squeeze to the hug. They sat there in silence again for a while. Then Dave's hands slipped downward a bit, cupping her tits lightly as he hummed '; really love your peaches wanna shake your tree ;” Shawna recognized the tune and chuckled. It was a long, slow, comfortable night, with more cuddling and light touching than sex. Ditto for the wake up. Chapter 8; Planning a Future. October 19, 2020. Shawna's early shift meant she was home for dinner with enough time to change and sit with the family talking while Lupie and Reena prepared the meal. "Mom was a pretty good painter. She actually sold a few at small auctions. The one she was proudest of, she gave to Dave though. He's a fan of seascapes, so she made this beautiful painting with a cliff in the upper left and a roiling, storm-tossed ocean filling most the canvas. Lots of white caps and ocean spray, dark stormy waters, the whole works. You could almost feel like you were on the deck of a ship struggling to stay afloat in the storm." Liv looked wistful as she spoke of her mom's talents. "Oh! I've seen that one!" Jan exclaimed. The others looked between Livy, Dave, and Jan. With a neutral face that they had become accustomed to at certain times Dave said, "I put it away in a closet to keep it safe. I; went through a dark time there for a while. I didn't want to damage it." "And I found it when I was looking for the book boxes you mentioned. I'm sorry I brought it up, Dave." Olivia nodded her agreement with Jan. "Don't be ladies. Janelle's gift is a bright point. Honestly, I'm at a place now that I would feel safe bringing it back out. And the photos." A small relief settle over the gathering. There were a few spots that obviously held a picture or painting for some years, but had been bare when the ladies arrived. The general state of the world, and the events of Olivia and Melanie's arrival made each reluctant to broach the subject. "It would be good to see pictures of Eddie, Janelle, and; Carter?" Shawna said softly. "I don't think I ever saw Livy's parents, but I met Eddie a few times." Becca chimed in. "He was a nice guy. Kinda handsome too. But, I know where he got that from." She blew an air kiss to Dave. The others grinned or chuckled, with a few nods. "Well, she made the painting in Eddie's senior year, and he was between girlfriends when Mom finished. She had me bring it over on a weekend she knew Eddie was staying with Dave. Dave hadn't moved to this house yet." Dave chuckled, in memory, as he realized where Olivia was going with this story. "Keep in mind, Eddie is almost three years older than me. At the time, I was a few months past fifteen, and Eddie was shy of his eighteenth birthday by a few months. Mom drives me, but hangs back a bit, having me talk to Dave and Eddie. I get to Dave's front door, all flustered, 'cuz here's my crush, that I fantasize about spending my life with," Olivia is beaming a big smile at this point, with Dave replying with a shame-faced smile, "being all happy for this gift I'm giving him and showing me all this affection, but like I'm a well-loved daughter, not a woman he'd go out with. And all these little-girl-in-love feelings are just going haywire." The older ladies all showed some level of sympathy for Olivia. For her part, Becca slipped off her spot, nestled in beside Dave and said, "I don't know what you're talking about." The play-act was good for a chuckle. "That's when Eddie pipes up and offers to take me out that evening. He looked uncertain, but somewhat interested. We were friends, but there'd been no romance, no attraction. I was torn, because Eddie is a; " Olivia swallowed "--was a great guy, but he wasn't the guy I was after. I agreed, though. A week later he admitted that Dave put him up to it, and Mom was almost certainly involved. The three of them made multiple attempts at throwing us together. Hell, Eddie was the only boy Daddy didn't try to scare off." "Wait, so you dated Eddie?" "Not really. It was just two friends hanging out. It happened a few times as Mom, Dad, and Dave kept trying to get us together, but it never stuck. We both thought the other was an incredible person," she paused for a second again, "but there was no; no spark of desire. I mean, yeah, he thought I was pretty, I thought he was handsome, but it just wasn't there." "OK, 'cuz that would have been really weird. Especially if you two had; " "Nope." Olivia said it awfully quick, with a bit of extra color rising in her face. That caused everyone else to lean in. "Girl," was all Shawna said. Olivia rolled her eyes and exhaled hard. "They were trying so hard, and we really liked each other, and we thought maybe if we just tried; but we couldn't kiss without giggling. Like we couldn't bring our lips together we'd bust out laughing first. On the cheek was fine, but lips touching was just too goofy." Olivia stared off into space for a moment. "Okay, there was one time we tried to go all the way. I was over eighteen by then. We each undressed ourselves, but by the time we were both naked, we both had the nervous giggles. On paper, we should have been a great match, but something big was missing." "Oh, I've felt it," Becca said, waving her hand in the air, "I know what the big missing thing was." The whole house cracked up laughing. "Hey, we are talking about my friend here. And he's Dave son, so he was no slouch there. It just wasn't hard. That was a little demoralizing. I'm standing there, naked, tits out, not trying to hide anything, and I was already keeping it trimmed, so it's all out there where he can see it, and he's limp. Full length, but limp. That was a blow to my ego." "Coulda been worse. If you had slept with Eddie ;” A collective shiver ran through the room. "Yeah, yeah that would be weird. I may or may not have gone out the next weekend and found a guy to assuage my hurt ego, though." A few sympathy nods occurred in response. "About two months later, I found another boyfriend, but by then, I knew in my heart I was just biding time 'til I was old enough to pursue Dave. I was over eighteen, of course, but I knew I needed to be a bit older to really get his attention. That relationship eventually petered out, and every guy since has been a month or two fling about twice a year so I don't go crazy." "And now you have your dream guy." Jan supplied. Just then, Reena came out to the arch separating the dining room and living room. "We're starting to bring dishes out to the table. You can start taking seats." Looking at Becca, she added, somewhat resignedly, "Did you tell him yet?" Becca squealed. "I almost forgot! Thank you for reminding me! We were watching MTV earlier, and they're going through a leadership change. Like all the bigwigs got fired, and now they have a new CEO." Dave looked askance. "I haven't been interested in MTV for a few decades, back before they should have stopped using the 'M' if they were being honest." "That's just it though! The new guy has announced they will refocus on music." "But I liked The Real World!" Kareena grumped. Becca stuck her tongue out at Reena, before turning back to Dave. "And you'll never guess who the new head of MTV is!" "I don't follow music industry executives, so no, I really have no idea, who it could be." "But you know this guy," she said with a wide grin. "He's a little white, a little nerdy. He likes polka; " "No. Way." Dave said with a grin on his face. "Weird Al?" Shawna started chuckling. "Seriously?" "Yep! Weird Al Yankovich is the new head of MTV! They're having a grand re-opening Wednesday, noon, Pacific Time. They said there will be themed hours, so certain times will be 80's music, or 90's, or girl-pop, or hard rock, etc." "Wonder if they'll borrow VH1 'Pop-up Video' with the little factoids. That could be a good hour-block too." That's when Lupie appeared to summon them all to the table for dinner. Firmly this time. As dinner wound down, Lupie turned to Becca. "Have you asked him yet?" The little blonde shrunk into herself. "No," she said softly. "Ask me what?" Dave inquired. Reena looked at Becca like she was waiting for her to take the lead, but wouldn't for much longer. Rebecca swallowed hard, inhaled like she was steeling herself, and looked at Dave. "We didn't get a prom. Reena pointed that out last week. And, back then, it wasn't an issue for me. I mean, even without; everything that's going on. But now, it'd be kinda cool. So, um, the others are putting a prom on for us; me and Reena, I mean; so, uh, Dave, would you take me to prom?" Dave was surprised, and a little stunned. "I, uh," he sputtered, until Lupie, Jan, and Shawna fixed him with very determined looks. "Of course. Yes, Rebecca Sampson, I will escort you to prom." The cheers around the table settled after a moment, and attention turned to Reena. She beamed. "Dave, would you take me to prom also?" With a big grin, Dave replied, "Well, I dunno, I already have one prom date ;” his tone was playfully enough to keep most of the panic flutters out of Reena's stomach. "I would happily share a prom date with Reena." Becca interjected. "Then yes, Kareena Agrawal, I will escort you to prom along with Becca." Another round of cheers as both girls laughed. "So, you get a second prom Dave, this time with two hot dates!" Jan teased. Dave looked at her side eyed. "First actually. I wasn't in any kind of social demand in high school." "Wait, you didn't go to prom?" half the ladies exclaimed. Dave scoffed. "It was a social thing. I was a nerd. Okay, I'm still a nerd, don't give me that look. Anyway, I didn't belong at social events. Dances, football games, I didn't go and nobody missed me." "I'm a nerd, and I went to prom, David." Shawna replied. "You're a pretty girl. Boys like to go to dances with pretty girls. Girl nerds still get asked out, especially when they're attractive." No one wanted to ruin the mood by pursuing that line of discussion further, but they all noted an undertone in Dave's comments. October 21, 2020. Dave planted soft kisses on Lupie's shoulder as he drove himself in and out of her hot, wet tunnel. He held her hip with one hand and traced lazy patterns on her abdomen with the other. Lupie's hands rested on the wall as she bent over, pushing her ass out so Dave could pump himself into her sex. They were ten minutes into what was supposed to be a quickie, but both enjoyed the union so much they were subtly stretching out the encounter. Of course, the fact that Esme's room was right next to Dave's office added some need for quiet. And quiet fucks were generally slower. Still, they couldn't take forever. With this many people in the house, no matter how quiet they were, if they kept going, someone would walk in on them. Dave slipped his hand from Lupie's belly up to her tit. He took a firm, possessive grip and rubbed her nipple with his palm and massaging the bulk of her tit with his fingers. Lupie's right hand left the wall and flew to her mouth. Her shoulder braced against the wall, Lupie's eyes rolled back as her torso convulsed. Her low moan of ecstasy was largely stifled by her hand. The undulation of her inner muscles set Dave off, and he fired several ropes of hot cum into her waiting passage. Both stood there for a minute, steadying themselves and luxuriating in the primal satisfaction of the completed act. As Dave softened and slipped out of her, Lupie reached to the side table and grabbed some tissues to catch any leakage. She turned, resting her back against the wall and staring into her lover's eyes. "You know David, tomorrow is the day. Hopefully." Dave looked at her quizzically. "I ovulate tomorrow. I've been tracking it. This time could be the one that gets me pregnant." Dave leaned into Lupie and took her in his arms. A shudder passed through him as he realized he might soon be a father again. A dark, demented voice rose up to remind him just how well that worked out the last time. "Still," Lupie purred with a grin, "I wouldn't mind a second dose tomorrow, just to increase our chances." Dave kissed her slowly on the lips, with no tongue. "Purely for reproductive purposes of course." He added a wink. Lupie hugged him tightly after barking out a short laugh. Then they dressed and she headed back downstairs. Dave opened the new microfridge and pulled out a bottle of water and a pouch of tuna in sunflower oil. Livy and Mel picked up the fridge last week, during the grocery run. The same trip they'd gotten the palmprint secured gunsafe for Livy's headboard. Mel and Reena put it in place while Dave and Liv installed the safe. He guzzled about half the water bottle before setting it down. Then he took his time with the tuna and the other half the bottle. Time enough to mull over his problem. His game might be dead in the water, for good this time. As with so many others, he hadn't heard back from the artists that made the images for him in too damn long. The background artist, Harrison Black, had been incommunicado for months. That may not be an insurmountable problem. There was only one background missing from the scenes he had planned out. Those scenes might be movable to one of the existing settings. Or maybe he could find an artist to make that last image and match Harri's style; but that would be a dicey prospect. As long as he didn't add any new locations, he was good there. But; his character artist was also not responding. His last email two months ago mentioned he was sick. He had finished all of the characters through the last update, but the game had three more characters to complete the cast, and one played a pivotal role in the last two scenes of the pending update. He needed to find a new artist. And negotiate a new contract. For a game whose market may have shrunk drastically. Who the hell would pay money for a game about a guy surviving an apocalypse and fucking hot babes when they're in the middle of an actual apocalypse and every surviving guy had several women addicted to his cum? It was still worth a shot though. After mulling over the wording, Dave opened Discord and navigated to UnVale, the site he'd used before. He found an appropriate thread and started typing. budget: $800 plus 10% of revenue work: headshot and 3d poly-rigged female character, character description (rough physical and detailed personality) provided in further communications. three characters needed. possibly three artists, one per character. Upfront and percentage applied per character. timeline: 6-8weeks Commercial use, erotic game respond by DM please With that done, Dave left the server. There were other things to do. He logged into the email server for Eastfield and checked for messages. His dean emailed with a list of classes for spring semester. Technically, she was offering the list for his approval. Yeah right. She's the dean. Yeah, He'd made full professor rank five years ago, but getting in a pissing match with the dean over class assignments was never a good idea. And she'd never given him reason to anyway. The 'check these to make sure they are right' note always elicited that rebel reaction in him. Interesting. Math department must be shorthanded. Dave had one section of college algebra in addition to two sections of physics. One of those was calc-based, the other algebra & trig based. And then a section of gen ed physical science. That had been awhile, but something he'd done before. He emailed back the list looked fine, but he'd need a copy of the texts for the math and physical science classes, and quickly, so he could start planning. Hard copies if possible. At least a looseleaf version. He tagged in a suggestion they offer an astronomy class or earth science or oceans class. Something more focused that could get the kids attention. Student interest tends to improve student scores, after all. He pointed out with a little review time, he could teach the astronomy or earth science class. If they went with an oceans class, he'd need one of the biology folks to cover the portions of the class on sea life. Ugh. College algebra had some interesting and useful tools but teaching it to a class of mostly 'why do I have to take this'? whiners could make for a demoralizing semester. Well, maybe that would be the plus side of an apocalypse. The survivors might be all that much more desirous to grow and achieve. Okay, plan with positive thoughts. Expect hungry, eager young minds. Or even hungry, eager older minds. And a little bit scared. Some more than others. Lastly, he suggested that whichever of the three they offered should have a field trip component. Now more than ever, it was important to break students out of their doldrums and really see the stuff they talked about in class. "Dave! Dave! Dave!" Becca burst through his office door. "It's on! It's coming on next! Come down!" She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and raced back out. Dave was chuckling by the time she turned around, and rising as she passed the doorframe. He joined her in the living room in short order, without running. Lupie, Liv and Mel were waiting as well. Jan and Esme came out of the library just as Dave hit the bottom of the stairs. "All of you are music video fans?" Dave asked. "Or Weird Al?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "I'm a you fan, David," Lupie replied, "and a Becca fan. You two are so excited by this, I had to be here to watch." "You exposed me to Weird Al when I was young and impressionable. My interest in him is all your fault." Olivia observed with a smirk. "Hey, I'm just band wagoning here," Melanie chortled. Then Jan chimed in. "This is a cultural event. It would be educational for Esme," she said with a sly grin. The commercial cut away and an aural cascade of celebration sounds issued from the TV. "Hello, all you beautiful people, I'm Martha Quinn, your Video Jockey for this inaugural segment of the renewed Music Television channel. Yes, we are concentrating on music again, and, in honor of the impending Halloween holiday, we have an oldie but a goldie; Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'." The screen cut to the iconic video by the king of pop. The full version. When it ended, Quinn was back. "I get chills from that every time." Martha shook her head, smiling. "Now, with the Thanksgiving holiday not far away, our new CEO has whipped up something to make the meal; just a little extra special." Guitar chords from Eric Clapton's 'Cocaine' start playing. When you eat leftovers, And you're feeling averse, ptomaine Half the room cracked up laughing. Dave didn't hear most the rest of the lyrics, but hell, his family was laughing. And surely the song would play again. It was good to laugh. By the time they settled down, the video was over and Martha Quinn's face stared back at them. "I hope you all enjoined that as much as I did. I'll be back to host 'The '80's Hump Day Show' this evening, but until then my younger colleagues will host shows featuring current, or at least more recent, styles. Our new formatting is geared to exemplify and introduce the unique and wonderful flavors of different eras and genres. We here at MTV would like to foster greater understanding and appreciation between peoples of different generations, so please, at some point during the week, take the time to sit in with us as we cover an era or style you are unfamiliar with and get to know some of the things that make other people in your life tick." Dave couldn't shake the sense that Quinn knew about the Quaranteam serum and was trying to foster connections between partners of well separated age groups, without talking about the serum in even the slightest. Then again, the sentiment had its own value, without the serum issues. October 22, 2020. The doorbell was still an unusual sound to hear these days, even though the house no longer felt like his own pyramid. It definitely wasn't quiet at the moment. House Belsus was in the midst of a round robin Mario Cart championship. Although, this one was a warmup. Shawna wasn't here, so they'd have another contest when the whole house was present. At the moment, Mel and Olivia were frustrated with each other and Esme's otherworldly ability both in the game and playing the two off each other. As the two of them attacked the other, Esme got ahead of them both. Becca was laughing, and well ahead of all three, sailing free and clear of any competitor or trap. Until Esme got a blue shell. Just as it detonated, the doorbell sounded. "I got it!" Reena shouted, leaping to her feet and rushing for the door. Dave rose to follow, but was tackled by Becca, Liv, and Mel. Lupie began to object, since Esme was in the room, but the girls were mostly just hugging, with some kissing. Lips only, no tongue. "Hey, come on! I need to go answer the door," he protested. "Nope," Becca retorted. "Reena hasn't gotten to welcome a new lady to the house yet. And you need to make a proper first impression when she walks in; smothered in adoring women!" Dave rolled his eyes but stopped trying to wiggle free. Lupie and Jan chuckled off to the side. "I heard that from outside." said a voice carrying a tinkle of amusement. All three young ladies scrambled up so Dave could stand and face their newest sister. She stepped forward, offering her hand. "Hi, I'm Vanessa Worton. You must be Dave. You have quite the entourage here." Dave reached his hand out to accept her greeting. Champagne blonde hair; with dark roots; fell from a middle part down the sides of her face to drape a few inches down her shoulders. Round, olive green eyes stared back at Dave from a face balanced between oval and rectangular. The wide smile, with plenty of teeth showing, appeared a mix of forced and natural while her cheeks gathered into pleasant apples above and beside her mouth. Vanessa wore a tight-knit thin teal sweater under a medium beige cardigan. Light tan slacks and slip-on comfortable walking shoes in dappled white and dark grey finished her business casual look. At 5'5" she wasn't exactly short for a woman, but neither was she tall by any stretch. She appeared to be a well-kept late thirties. The skin of her face was supple, but showed signs of experience in life; not all of it positive. Vanessa chuckled. "Well, it's always ego boosting for a man to be speechless upon seeing me. Especially one surrounded by such lovely ladies already." Dave collected himself. "Would you like a seat?" When he saw her noticing the paused game, he added, "We were having a playoff. Although this is really just practice, since Shawna's at work. She'll be home in another hour and a half. That's her usual time, though depending on her shift some days could be earlier or later." "So all of you are into video games?" Vanessa said as she stepped around her large pink rolling suitcase to find a seat. "No, some of us are into video games, and some of us join in for family unity." Lupie rejoined. "I can appreciate that." Vanessa smiled back. "Family sticks together." Her smile looked slightly artificial for a moment. "I like that you all refer to each other as family, rather than a team. It sounds; cozier, comforting. And the whole dogpile thing? Very Norman Rockwell. If Rockwell painted polygamous families," she added with a wide grin. "You must be Lupie," she said approaching the Latina. "I think your letter was the most convincing, and intimidating. I almost passed over Dave so I wasn't getting in the way of, or being overshadowed by, two long term loves." Everyone but Jan, Lupie, and Becca bore puzzled looks. That's when Jan cleared her throat and spoke up. "I was contacted the end of last week to type up a short mention of my time here, my thoughts, and such. I sent that in Sunday night." "I got mine in yesterday." Lupie said. "Me too," said Becca. "It was interesting getting three uniquely different people saying slightly different things that all painted the same picture." Vanessa walked back to Dave. "You're an interesting guy David Belsus." Dave looked slightly uncomfortable by instinct, but quickly applied some of the confidence he'd been gaining or faking. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage, Ms. Worton." "Vanessa. Or preferably, Nessa. Given how; close we are going to be." She flashed him a playfully wicked smile. Dave was getting enough practice now to see beneath the surface. Under the playfully strong woman exterior was a deep current of uncertainty, even nervousness. "I have professional reasons to be here as well. I'm a realtor, so I'm involved in the re-housing project going on. If I hadn't matched to you, I would have been by to visit sometime next week, but as it is, I'd like to start that conversation now, lay out the parameters for all of you and after I wake up from imprinting we can talk about what you; well, what we want," she ended with a grin. "Sounds good," Dave replied. "Re-housing, huh? Are we really supposed to wind up with many more ladies in the house?" "I don't know any more than you've been told, really, but I've seen some families much bigger. Most seem to be heading that direction though. The metroplex - all of North Texas - got hit hard, David." She paused. "Harder than some other areas because of all the deniers. I don't know the numbers, since I'm not involved in that work, but we have a lot fewer men here. We also had a higher loss of women, but not nearly to the same degree as the increased loss of men. Only a few of the women are interested in re-locating, so families here will likely be bigger than families in California or New England; on average anyway." "That's how it's been before all this though too." "Well, yeah," she said with a chuckle. Then she cleared her throat and seemed to settle into a 'professional' facial set. "To ease the logistical load for utilities and other services, the government is encouraging folks to gather into consolidated neighborhoods or downtown living areas. They mostly want people to live in multi-use towers. Basically, skyscrapers with stores and service shops on the bottom floor or two, and residential spaces above. Each family would have one entire floor. A large family might get two floors." "I would rather not live in a high-rise." Dave kept his tone neutral and even, in a way that suggested much more passion behind the sentiment than that actually expressed. "Well that brings us to the communities being formed. Some are on cul-de-sacs with enlarged houses. And the cul-de-sacs are clustered. There are some that have semi-circle roads with houses on the outer edge and a park or shops in the middle. The smaller ones of those are also clustered." "Of course, the Las Colinas and South Lake folks already have their gated communities. They may bring a few others in to occupy a house that was already empty, or vacated by a; casualty, but mostly, they are 'keeping to their own'. I wouldn't expect you; us; to get in there." "Not sure I'd want to." That earned a few nods. "There are a variety of sizes in the midrange communities. Those also vary by amenities in the house. Some houses in the same community have different amenities, inside or outside. In fact some of the nicer communities in the midrange are; choosy, so, again, they could be hard to get into." Dave, Lupie and Liv just shrugged. "Now, generally speaking, the communities will be mixed so there is, as best as possible, a cross section of races, political views, and interests in each community. The intent is to hopefully negate the polarization we've all seen increasing over the past twenty years." All of the older members of the family nodded. Everyone old enough to watch the news knew exactly what she was talking about. "But, there will be some; themed communities. In the Mesquite area, there will be a community of multiple cul-de-sacs near a stables." "And a country bar?" asked Reena, teasingly. "Please," Dave rejoined, "Mesquite is for ropers. They wear bright colored boots and never rode a horse. They drive lift kit pickups without a single scratch in the bed. A whole community of truck balls, rattails and mullets." He paused for a second. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. I could do with never seeing another mullet or rattail." "Or a lift kit." "Or truck balls." "I'll scratch Mesquite off the list of possible destinations for this team. Um, family," Vanessa corrected. "What about Park Cities area?" Dave looked at her balefully. He started ticking off on his fingers, "I make less than six figures, I do not own a tux; and only one suit; and I have no idea what to do with my pinkie finger when drinking tea or coffee." All of the ladies giggled. "Worse," he made quote fingers in the air, "Lupie is Hispanic, Jan is Korean, and Shawna, who's at work at the moment, is black. Not exactly a picture of Park Cities demographics." Vanessa looked like she was about to object, but held off. He wasn't wrong. Changing the topic, she said, "So, all we really need right now is to think about what spaces you will want, and what spaces you will need. Do you need an office? Do any of the women need one as well? Can those be combined?" "That could wind up as an excuse to visit with you more often during the day," Mel asserted. Reena and Becca giggled. Esme hadn't left the room, so she slightly veiled her meaning. "I will need a separate office. Sometimes I just need to focus. Besides, having my own office hasn't stopped y'all from making 'visits' during the day." Lupie blushed at the implication. She wasn't the only one though, just the most recent. "But Dave, I might need some math help," Becca pleaded. Vanessa looked slightly amused while the others laughed. The tale had been shared around. "I should never have told you that story," Dave said with narrow eyes and pursed lips. Though there was a twinkle in his eye and his lips curled up at the corners. "So, something for you ladies to share with me later, I take it?" Dave threw his hands in the air theatrically. "I'm surrounded." "Well, Dave, that's how; " Liv cut herself off as she remembered Esme was still in the room. Esme rolled her eyes. "Do I need to leave?" "No, you do not." Dave replied. "We will watch ourselves. This conversation is one you should have some input on. You might not get what you ask for, but at least I'd like to hear your preferences as much as anyone else's." Vanessa nodded, looking at Lupie. "Yup, just like you said." Lupie blushed. At Dave's reaction, Nessa looked to him and added, "All good things, all good things." "Olaf!" Esme cried. "You should be Olaf for Halloween. That's next week right?! We're doing something for it, right Da- uh, Dave?" Dave did not miss what Esme almost said. If she finished the original word, he might have lost it altogether. As it was, he managed to maintain his composure. He wasn't the only one. Lupie looked ready to bust with joy. Nessa bore a knowing grin that matched the others around the room. The shaky breath he took to steady himself was all they needed to confirm the impact the verbal slip had on him. In their eyes, he could see that for some, it was the reaction they needed him to have. Well, one more proof they all matched well. His natural reactions were what they wanted. Sometimes, anyway. "I think I just ovulated." Livy muttered. "What was that?" Dave asked. "Nothing darling, nothing at all," the busty brunette replied with a mild blush. The cackling of half the room did not help deter attention. "Maybe we should just get back to the discussion topic," Dave said with a wry grin. "Esme, any thoughts?" "Adults are crazy." Vanessa and a few others laughed. Dave just stared at Esme, a slight grin on his face and one raised eyebrow. Esme giggled. "Okay, I'd like a big backyard, a pool and an indoor play space that can also be an art room." Then, with an impish smile she added, "And a pony." "Ponies do not come with a house." Dave observed wryly. "The pool idea is a good one. If there's no community pool close by, that is. I mean, having one in the backyard would be great, but so long as it's easy to get to, a shared pool will do nicely. Is that doable, Nessa?" "Absolutely. Most of the communities either have a pool space already built, or have one planned. Some of the houses have backyard pools." She cleared her throat. "Though, none of the houses have enough yard space for a horse." She winked at Esme. "But two communities are reasonably close to riding stables with lots of pastureland." Dave chuckled and shook his head. "And let's list the art, craft and play space as a want, not a need, but a really want. An indoor space like that could be very handy when the weather sucks. It could also work as a classroom. After all, you can do a lot of science with craft supplies." Esme groaned and slapped her forehead. " That's my signal to leave. Besides, I still have a geography assignment to work on. Let me know when you're ready to finish the game." She slipped out to the library. Vanessa looked at Lupie. "She's adorable." "Thank you. She's also a handful." "I can see that." Vanessa replied. "Doesn't stop me from wanting one. Not right away, I mean, but, sometime in this coming year, I want to start trying." She turned to Dave as she said this. "Is that a problem?" "No. Not at all. We haven't talked about timing or anything, but I'd like to have kids with each of you. At least, I think you all want kids. If I'm wrong, let me know." All the ladies nodded, some adding a few words to express their interest. "Timing is the issue, though. We don't want the whole house pregnant at once. And some have college to complete and careers to establish." "Anyone trying now? If it's not too personal." Lupie raised her hand. "You're family now, or soon will be. It's not too personal. We hadn't said anything yet, but we are trying." The others squealed happily and rushed to hug her. "I think the conversation just came to an end," Dave observed. "That's ok, the main need for tonight was to get you all thinking about what you want. By early next week we should get together and nail down a specific list of needs and wants." She shifted in her seat. "Speaking of which, I'd like to wait until after dinner, maybe an hour after. I'd prefer to have dinner first and give it time to settle." "That's perfectly understandable. We can talk again just before. I'll; " "I am sure of my decision. But that's ok, feel free to ask again later for your peace of mind." At Dave's puzzled look, she explained, "Lupie and Jan mentioned you would be concerned about my comfort level with this decision." Her eyes twinkled. "Your ladies know you, David. I'm looking forward to being here." Dinner was a simple, quick affair of burgers, mac n' cheese from scratch and steamed green beans. Lupie and Mel offered to make something a bit more exciting, but Vanessa insisted quicker was preferred. They smiled and got busy in the kitchen. Nessa recognized Shawna as soon as she entered the living room. She didn't fawn over the local celebrity, exactly, but it took her a minute to adjust. After dinner was a slow time of conversations in pairs and triples. Nessa spent a lot of time listening but shared a few things about herself with the family. Eventually, she gave Dave a look that he was becoming accustomed to. He rose, approached her, and offered his hand. She took his hand and rose to stand beside him. The two ascended the stairs together. Everyone watched but said nothing. There were a few grins exchanged. When they entered the bedroom and shut the door, Vanessa turned to him, pulling herself close and burying her face in his chest. Then she looked up, meeting his questioning eyes. "I want this David. I want to be a part of the family you have here. I want to be with you. I talked with the others downstairs. I know you like to take your time. This isn't your first imprinting though, so you know I won't; get there except at the priming and imprinting; surges. I'll enjoy the efforts, but don't spend too much time on it, it will just be frustrating for me. So, show me your kind, attentive side, but don't overexert yourself on it, ok? Save it for one of the others this evening." Dave stroked her back gently and kissed her forehead. Nessa raised up on her toes and kissed him full on the lips. She hummed when he responded. They took their time, reveling in the closeness. She could feel in his body the desire to give her an emotional bond before the physical one, but the serum did not permit that. Still, that he wanted to do that for her bode well for a future together. The kiss grew more intense. Hands roamed from the 'safe' areas towards the more stimulating parts of the partner's body. Dave and Nessa's breathing increased in unison. That was the best part. That the person getting you all excited was just as excited as you. The hunger in their eyes rebounded, building in power like a laser. The frantic energy powered their hands as they tore at each other's clothes. They were stripped bare in short order, at nearly the same moment. Dave put an arm around her back and began kissing her again, turning himself one quarter away and walking toward the bed. As they arrived, she crawled quickly up the bed, turning on to her back and laying her head on a pillow as she reached the headboard. Dave gazed at her as he drew himself up on the bed with Nessa. Her body was smooth and lovely, well maintained, but not young anymore. Quite alluring. Neither washboard abs nor a paunch. Smooth, medium sized tits with a natural sag, medium brown areolas a bit larger than a half-dollar coin, and nipples slightly smaller than a pencil eraser that were fully erect. Below, her bush was neatly trimmed away from her vulva, which was clearly engorged with arousal as her inner petals flowered themselves outward, her outer lips parted slightly, just barely exposing the tip of her clitoris. Her face had dropped any sense of demur acceptance. She needed him. It was time, she was his and he was hers, for this moment. Dave crawled between her legs and positioned himself over her. He lowered himself enough to make contact over much of their bodies, without resting his weight fully on her. His erection sandwiched between them. He lay soft, gentle, languorous kisses on her forehead, cheeks and lips. She hummed her approval. As his kisses proceeded down her neck to her clavicle, her breathing picked up again. Her pelvis rubbed against him, seeking what only he could give her, seeking the fullness she needed to feel. Dave kept kissing and progressing down to her tits, kissing the yielding flesh there as she began to whimper. The yearning radiated from her in palpable waves. Dave repositioned his face to Nessa's, with his hips arched over her core. She steadied her tumultuous hunger, recognizing his preparation. Dave moved slowly until the tip of his organ rested against her wet, open entrance. He thrust forward, smoothly, firmly, penetrating her depths with half of his length over the course of several seconds. Vanessa responded with a cross between a groan and a cry, clutching him tightly with her hands on his shoulder blades. He pulled back out, eliciting a brief whimper until he thrust full length into her, which earned him a moan of pleasure. Her enthusiasm brought Dave quickly to the point of leaking precum, which had the expected effect the moment the fluid made contact with her velvety interior. Dave held her through her serum induced ecstasy. As she settled, she wrapped her arms around his back and looked into his eyes. He kissed her again as he began thrusting once more. Then he lowered his lips to her ear. "You're mine now Nessa. No other man may touch you." She gasped, excited. "Mine to take care of." He felt her shuddered beneath him. "Mine to enjoy." He felt her inner muscles flex and grasp his thrusting cock. "All mine. Your heart." "Yes." "Your mind." "Yes." "Your body." "Yes." "and your will." He thrust deep, holding himself there and working his hips to strike all of her inner surfaces. "Yes! Please David, please more!" Dave began thrusting with more vigor, pounding her sex with his own. Pummeling her interior as she writhed in her enjoyment of his actions. Her hips rolled and bucked. Her hands clutched and groped on his back; and her eyes. Her eyes implored him to take her like a beast. His breathing ragged, he savaged her lower body, stoking his own fires as surely as hers. So lost he was in the primal act, he never noticed his own building arousal until he'd fired off a few spurts into her, arresting her cries of pleasure and replacing them with a primal scream and orgasmic spasms which ended with her flopping to the bed in a naked heap. "Imprinting; imprinting; imprinting ;” October 23, 2020. With the exception of Shawna, who was gone for work, the entire house devoted all of Friday to prom preparation. Lupie went to the store and picked up a few items she'd held off getting until day-of. On her return, she immediately lay into her prep work, getting the cold appetizers ready. Melanie came in to help in the early afternoon, once she had finished curating the song lists. She was the designated DJ for the evening. Becca and Reena both spent time with her a few days prior, nailing down what they wanted to listen to during dinner and dance to after. Liv and Janice were the decorating committee. They left the living room re-arrangement for last, starting that after Dave and the girls went to upstairs to dress. During the day, they set up the unused bedroom as a hotel room. It was close enough to the upstairs bathroom not to break the illusion. And it was well away from Esme's room. Esme was instructed to use the master bathroom from bedtime until after breakfast. By early afternoon, Becca and Reena retreated to the master bathroom to do their hair and nails. Reena did Becca's nails, and then her own. Once that cycle was done, she did Becca's hair and guided Becca through the steps for doing Reena's. Each girl did her own makeup, though Reena added a few touches to Becca's. Vanessa awoke by lunch time. She was tickled when Dave asked her to help out. He wanted a bit more dance practice. Dave was not a dancer. Mel and Olivia gave him some practice, about an hour or so each, on separate days earlier in the week. Those sessions went about how'd you'd expect. Started off with some innocuous club dancing, progressed into something steamy, and wound up in the horizontal mambo. On the plus side, each coed got her dose before prom night. By mutual acclamation, prom night was exclusively for Reena and Becca, and Dave reserved himself during the day as well. With Vanessa, he practiced a few more sedate dance styles, and a couple of the club moves, without the steamy stuff. She was still a bit sore from the vigor of last night. Although, she said so with a smile. Shawna took an early shift that day and arrived home shortly after Dave and Vanessa wrapped up their dance practice. Shawna first changed into an orange halter dress before taking possession of Dave, hauling him off to their tv room where his clothes were laid out. Nessa went downstairs to help Liv and Janice move the living room furniture to the borders of the room, leaving a respectable dance space in the middle. Once Dave and Shawna were both convinced his suit was laying perfectly, with no lint, and all the colors just right, they descended to the living room to wait with the others. Dave initially proposed he come to the master bedroom door and escort each girl downstairs, but they decided they would rather make their entrance on the stairwell, letting everyone, including Dave, see them as they came down. They drew straws to decide order, only to find out that Reena was drawing to go last and Becca was drawing to go first. A bit more communication would have saved them the whole drawing process and the debate on whether to draw straws or flip a coin, or rock-paper-scissors. The other ladies were dressed nice, but not prom nice. Lupie was looking lovely in her dark blue sundress with 2" (~5cm) diameter white polka dots. Mel & Liv wore 'club wear'. For Mel that meant 'liquid look' black pants and a tight white crop top showing a modest amount of midriff. For Liv it was tight jeans and a frilly blue blouse showing modest cleavage. Janice wore a red cocktail dress with her left shoulder exposed, a skirt that hugged her hips gently and fell past her knees. Nessa borro

What are you waiting for? It's almost time for the 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.I'm SO excited to drop this episode today because this simpe habit I've started has CHANGED MA LIFE, Y'ALL! If you've ever reached the end of the day and wondered “Where the hell did my time go?” this episode is going to change your life. We're diving into the magic of hourly time logging, the simple, eye-opening habit that shows you exactly how you're spending your days so you can take your power back. I break down how tracking your time hour by hour reveals your hidden energy leaks, your productivity sweet spots, and the places you're unintentionally self-sabotaging. If you're a busy mum, a business owner, or someone constantly feeling behind, this tool will give you clarity, control, and a deep sense of calm. It's like giving your brain a reset button. I'm very aware of the Parkinson Rule, that a task will take up the amount of time you give it, and so just a few months into my girls being at school I've gone from feeling liberated to just as busy as I was before. Nah. That's not for me. Something had to change. We're going to explore how time logging becomes a manifesting tool. Instead of living reactively, you begin designing your week with intention, choosing who gets your time, where your energy goes and what truly matters. This episode is packed with practical tips, real-life examples, and the mindset shifts that make this habit stick. If you want more productivity, more peace, and more time for the things that actually light you up, you're going to love this one.How to do it. Starting at the beginning of your work day, begin logging on a notebook or the notes section of your phone the hour. So for me I start at 9;30am and the first section will be 9:30 - 10:30. Then as you go about your tasks list everything you do within that hour time block. If you scroll on social media for 10 minutes, list it. If you reply to a couple of emails, list it. It all goes on! Now, as always, I think the magic is in sharing it. I've been sharing mine with those I work with and that gives extra motivation. Could you share your time logging with a colleague, partner or a friend who is also struggling with their time management? See how much you can get done when you are doing this. It will astound you! If you want to take this further and feel less overwhelmed in your home life too, you can begin to log your hours outside of work too. Now, the goal isn't to log every single hour of your life forevs, but it IS very illuminating and freeing. Since doing this I've been on top of my work, on top of my housework and more present with my children. Win, win, win! Let me know how you get on with it. Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comBy the way, do we love my Amazon Storefront - it even has all my favourite self development books on there!(Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy winter! We're entering the darkest, coldest time of the year with: movies! Honestly, it's movies all the time no matter what. But at least one of them is seasonal and at least one of them is good! And all that is before we discuss a movie that's both of those things, 1995's The Day of the Beast! Decide to do all the evil you can with us as we discuss real Madrid architecture, cheesy occult television shows, and Satan as a cockroach.

Honestly, we're glad this conversation is happening. This trend isn't “cute”; it's marketing beauty culture to kids as young as 3. If you want a spa day, give them cucumber slices, a warm flannel, and some giggles - not products they never needed.As dermatologist @drgeetika shared, the concern goes deeper: “When skincare is marketed as a ‘need', and 3–6-year-olds start believing something is wrong with their skin because marketing pushes routines they never needed in the first place.” Childhood doesn't need serums. It needs play, safety, and self-love - not adult expectations.Tune In NowSupport the show

Quaranteam - Dave In Dallas: Part 4 Shenanigans: Fun times at House Belsus. Based on a post by RonanJWilkerson, in 12 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. Let's review the list of characters: David Belsus – 46, physics & astronomy professor at Eastfield college, a community college in the Dallas area. Prepper, survivalist, has a greenhouse in his backyard and lives in an outer ring suburb. Six foot, fit, short cropped hair. Lupie Ramos – 32, former financial advisor, Dave's neighbor, got caught out of state when the lockdowns started. She spent two frantic weeks trying to get back to her daughter. Lupie has been in love with Dave for over a year. Long, dark brown hair, medium build, and a lovely smile. Esme – 9, daughter of Lupie, prone to the occasional snarky comment. Adores Dave. Becca; 18, Lupie's babysitter, was watching Esme when lockdowns occurred. Her refusal to abandon Esme, as her mother insisted, likely saved Becca's life, since her extended family ignored precautions and died of Duo. Esme, Lupie, and Dave are all Becca has left in the world. Short, medium build, small tits, with short blond hair and a smile that is shy with strangers and beams with family and friends. Janice Wheeler; 33, Dave's first partner to arrive, a librarian at Cedar Valley, another community college member of DCCCD. Slender build and medium height, Janice is 3/4 Korean, her paternal grandfather is Anglo. Medium length black hair often pulled back in a bun for work or ponytail at home. Shawna Cooper; 36, senior meteorologist at WFAA, Master's degree in meteorology from O U, worked at NSSL and spent time as a storm chaser. Whole hog sci-fi nut, beginning with Start Trek TNG. 5' 10", large tits, medium brown skin, dark brown eyes, shoulder length black hair styled like a frizzy weeping willow. Olivia Tyler (Liv); 21, senior studying horticulture at Tarleton State University, near Dallas. Daughter of Carter and Janelle, Dave's best friends since college. Had a well-known crush on Dave throughout her teen years. Since her dad was former SF and a survivalist, Liv is skilled with several firearms as well as bladed weapons. Never failed to take a deer any season she's hunted. 5'10" long, dark brown hair, large tits, lightly tanned, brown eyes, and a wide smile. Melanie Ustanich; 22, graduate student in IT at Tarleton, Liv's roommate, recently found a passion for cooking. Spent most of her life in foster homes, Liv's parents accepted her like family the first time she went with Liv on Thanksgiving Break. 5'8" medium length auburn hair, green eyes, small mouth with a ready, mischievous smile. During the interlude, Dave took some time to look over Melanie. He knew less about her than the others, but more than he'd known about Jan or Shawna when they'd shown up on his doorstep. He knew from a glance that she dressed more stylishly than Olivia, though he'd be hard pressed to describe why. He thought both looked great, even if he could tell a difference instinctively. He was always a fan of variety. Silver studs in her ears support three short silver chains each, drawing the eye tantalizingly into the chasm of her russet mane. The verdant green of Mel's satiny top provided the perfect counterpoint to the auburn tones of her hair. The cinched belt securing the crossing panels of her blouse held it together well, yet giving tantalizing views of her medium sized tits. The black slacks clung closely to her well-shaped thighs and calves without the 'painted on' look. "Dave, could you make me one of your 'ginger ales' please?" "Sure, Liv. Anyone else want something?" "Can you make me one of those drinks you made that first time?" Becca asked. "Yeah, that's what Livy is asking for. Seven-Up and Captain Morgan mixed to look like ginger ale." "Oh, okay, then one of those please." "You got it." Dave got to mixing drinks. Jan asked if anyone else wanted wine. All the others voiced their interest, Jan pulled two bottles of blush from the pantry and brought them to the living room. Lupie grabbed wine glasses for each of them and handed them out as Jan poured. Dave watched Becca's first sip carefully. He'd mixed this one normal strength, not the light pour he'd given her last time. Eyes flared, she took a smaller sip than usual, but nodded before setting it on the side table. "Olivia, dear," Lupie asked softly, "I hesitate to ask, but can you tell us about your parents? Should we contact them that you are here, or, are they; ?" "Dad died six weeks ago. Mom passed a week later." Olivia took another sip. Melanie hugged her loosely. Olivia's voice took on a husky note. "She called me, near the end. She told me Dad had died. That she was very ill and wasn't; wasn't, ah,; She knew she wouldn't make it." One hot tear dallied along the top curve of her cheek before coursing downward. Dave took her hand. "She said I should pursue my dreams. All of them." Livy looked Dave dead in the eyes. "She said she'd known for a long time it was more than a crush, that she was sorry she'd belittled it by calling it that. And then ;” Olivia sucked in a breath. Mel hugged Olivia again. "We're all here for you. Let it out at your own pace." Lupie encouraged softly. "She said 'Love him. Love him like I never did. Love him like he deserves.' And then she closed the call." A hard sob shook through Olivia as more tears fell. Dave and Mel hugged her, one from each side. Dave did so while looking at the ceiling with a distant gaze. After several minutes of silence, Jan got up for a second plate. Dave stood to join her. "My mind still doesn't want to eat, but my stomach got a taste of that bruschetta and wants more. Of that, and everything else." Jan smiled and gave him a quick kiss, which he returned. "Can you tell us something about Eddie?" Shawna asked after Dave sat back down. Dave thought for a minute. Slowly, a proud smile spread across his face. "His Eagle project." Olivia smiled and nodded. "Eddie was an Eagle Scout?" Jan asked. "Yes, he was. Got his Arrow of Light as a Webelo too." Livy provided. "Eddie and I were just beginning to reconnect when he began working on his Eagle rank. For his project, he decided to build a foot bridge across the stream in the park." "Armadillo park? The bridge on the south end?" Becca asked. Dave smiled broadly. "That's the one. Before that bridge, anyone walking the path and crossing the bridge at the north end would have to turn around when they hit the ends of the u-shaped path. For some folks, that was more walking than they could handle, so they wound up getting less exercise, or taking their walks in the few areas with sidewalks or walk along the side of the road. Either way they got very little 'green time'. He found a bridge design appropriate for the location, one that would last with little maintenance and convinced a local construction company to donate materials. He met with the city manager and then spoke before the city council to arrange an agreement for maintenance." "The foreman of the construction company and his best concrete specialist offered their services to supervise the volunteer workers and ensure the quality of the work. I think Eddie had a hand in that." Dave's pride in his son couldn't have been any louder on his face. "The kicker was, he vetted the design to make sure the angle of the curve was suitable for someone in a wheelchair. So at the ribbon cutting, the young lady that cut the ribbon, and the first to cross was in Eddie's class. I think she wound up the class Salutatorian. Anyway, she was paraplegic, lost the use of her legs in an accident during her eighth grade year." Dave paused. "I think she and Eddie started dating not long after." Olivia snorted. "They were already dating. I think that night was the first time she gave him the goods though." "Go Eddie." Shawna said huskily. "Seriously?" Dave asked Olivia. "Pretty sure. Not 100%. I mean, I know they did it. Like a lot. Once they opened up that part of the relationship they were like bunnies. I'm not absolutely sure that night was the first night though." "Hell, I was nineteen before my first time. He was always better with people than I ever was." Dave's looked wistfully into the distance, like he was seeing through the walls at something beyond. Then he swallowed hard. He took a steadying breath and blew it out slowly. Becca rubbed his shoulder lightly before giving it a soft kiss. Dave smiled at her, then leaned in to deliver a light peck on her cheek. He looked outward again, scanning across the room. "Thank you all for putting up with this. I'm sorry for acting like such a p--" Becca pressed a finger firmly to Dave's lips. "If that word crosses your lips, you'd better be talking about our body parts. The man that I've watched, relied on, and come to trust implicitly sure as hell isn't one of those. And he deserves better than that." The fire in her red-rimmed eyes put the punctuation to her statement. Dave just nodded in concession to his young lover's demand. With an impish grin she added, "And for the record, anytime we're getting frisky, or flirting, I'm perfectly happy with you calling it: or me: a pussy." She grabbed his hand and shoved it between her shorts-clad legs for emphasis. Becca's addendum broke the somber mood of the room. Everyone got a good laugh. A brief quiet descended as everyone ate a few bites or stared into their drink. Dave looked up to see Jan and Lupie gazing at him, concern and sympathy clearly written across both of their faces. "Well, Becca, since you have some history with our man, tell me something to catch me up with all of you." Shawna requested. "Oh, tell her about the cupcake exchange." Jan suggested. "Dave told me about it while the two of you were getting vaxxed." "Oh that one she told me already. Good story." "Okay, so something new." Becca paused, then blushed. She bit her lip and looked sideways at Dave and cringed. Then she flicked her eyes to Lupie. Lupie caught the look and rolled her eyes. "Go ahead." She said with a sigh. Then she turned her face away. "So, um, you know how Dave runs a couple times a week, and works out with his staff in the backyard about as often?" Shawna nodded at Becca's narrative, then turned to give Dave an appreciative leer. "Ahem, well, it's cooler now, so he does he work outs in a t-shirt and shorts." Shawna nodded again, then stared at Dave's torso like she was imaging him bare chested and sweating. Well, she'd seen him shirtless often enough. Melanie's breathing became slightly deeper and slower as she sized him up as well. "Well, remember we used to live next door. And Lupie's second story windows are high enough to see over Dave's fence." Mel, Shawna, and Jan all looked at each other. "Oh." They said in unison. "You lucky bitches." Jan added. Dave's mind was working at a slower pace and caught up a moment later. He closed his eyes and shook his head. With a small grin. "Well, that's not all of it. See, I made no pretense about watching him work out. I mean, mid-August, heat pounding down? Ten minutes into his work out his whole torso is covered in sweat, with rivulets running down his front and back." Shawna looked transfixed. Jan had her eyes closed. Mel tightly gripped her thighs, staring intently. "Usually I watched from one of the back windows, and just put up with the oblique angle. One day, a few months back, I realize it's very quiet in the house, and I seem to be the only one on the second floor. I decided to move over to Lupie's room, which is at the back corner, with two windows looking out over the backyard, one on each side of the corner." Lupie blushed hard and brought her hands up to cover her face. "So, there was a small space between the curtain panels and I was staring at Dave through the gap as I walked up. I walked as quietly as I could so Lupie and Esme wouldn't hear my footsteps from downstairs. I pulled back the curtain to get a better view. Lupie was hiding in the curtains, eyes fixed on Dave. We both screamed, and Lupie's hand flapped backwards hitting the window frame." "That's how you bruised your hand?!" Dave exclaimed, trying to suppress his laughter. "You flap your hands around when you're surprised?" "No. Just, um, I, uh ;” Lupie's muffled response trailed off. "She took care to wash her hands thoroughly before she let me bind it." Becca interjected. "Initially we thought she'd hurt her wrist, so I stabilized it. But, I recognized later what I had smelled while we were leaving the room." Lupie peeked between her fingers at Becca, pleading. "Okay, never mind." Becca conceded. "I've said too much already." The others looked confused at the abrupt ending until Melanie burst out laughing. When they looked at her questioningly, she said, "I know what I would be doing standing there watching him work out shirtless." And flopped back into the couch giggling furiously. The others started cackling and Jan, chortling, reached over to pull Lupie into her for a hug. "Not like we all don't do it." Dave sat there open mouthed, shocked, and feeling like he'd won something undefinable. He moved to kneel in front of Lupie. He took her hands in his own, pulling them away from her face. He pulled her into a hug. Into her ear he whispered, "I love you." Her hug on him tightened. "And if I hadn't been so dense I would have been in that room to take care of you properly. Or at least, lick your fingers clean." He punctuated his comment with a light nibble of her earlobe. Lupie swatted him on the back as she released him. Her face was still flushed to the tips of her ears. The tight, prim smile and her laughing eyes testified to her approval of the idea, and her mortification it was said out loud. Even at a whisper. Dave got up and refreshed his drink, and Olivia's as well. Becca sipped hers more slowly, and still had more than half a glass. Jan topped off her wine glass, along with Mel's and Shawna's. Lupie got up and made a fresh plate, then headed for the stairs. "I'm going to take a plate to Esme, just in case she didn't get enough earlier. Besides, if I tell her Dave likes the bruschetta, she might try it." Lupie said with a knowing mom smile. Shawna came to Dave once he was seated. She gave him a soft kiss and held him to her. She spoke no words, but conveyed clearly her heart ache for him, and her availability should he need something. When Lupie returned, she took her seat and looked to Olivia asking "Can you tell me something about your father?" Livy squirmed for a moment, then nodded. She took a breath. "He was a security consultant. Worked for a firm that advised companies on the weak points in their physical and cybersecurity. Dad was on the physical side. He'd been a Green Beret before going to college, where he met Mom and Dave." "Oh, wow. So your dad was a badass?" Becca asked. "Carter was so badass he was chill," Dave interjected. "He had that confidence of the guy that knows he'll win if things get physical. Smart too, though." "Yeah, Dad made supervisor pretty fast. He and his team would walk the grounds of a company and show them where a person could slip in or out without detection. Then the cyber guys would do the same for the company's networks. Sometimes, Dad would have to prove the point. He loved that. He and a couple of his team would don tactical gear and break in. Dad always left a fake tarantula with the company logo on its back on the boss' desk, or somewhere critical." Olivia chuckled. "One time, this one CEO was particularly resistant. Dad had to go in a second time. The first time he left a tarantula on the main server station, and one in the research lab; that by law was required to be restricted access. To drive his point home, Dad went to the CEO's office and installed this box on the ceiling, where most don't look. It had some kind of trigger because once the guy sat down, this tarantula drops on a thread from the box, right on the guy's paperwork." Several smiles broke out. Dave laughed soundlessly, his mouth closed so it didn't become a cry. The tears in his eyes were tattle-tale enough. He absently played with Olivia's dark locks. Olivia turned to look at him, eyes soft and happy. She leaned against his hand. Dave realized what he was doing, got self-conscious and pulled back. With downcast eyes, Liv turned back to the room and took in the other faces. A couple of looks exchanged suggested that most had caught what had just passed. Dave tried to process what just happened by staring off through a blank spot on the wall. It wasn't terribly helpful, once he recalled the picture that hung there just a few weeks before. Then Lupie cleared her throat. Dave fixed his eyes on her. He was never particularly perceptive of the looks on people's faces, but this time it seemed pretty clear. She stared at him with a stern look, then shifted her eyes to Liv and back to him. He looked to Jan, who just nodded. "Maybe someone else can share a family background story." Dave temporized. A few pensive looks passed. A tight smile grew on Jan's face. "My aunt Carolyn." She paused for a second. "My dad's sister. They were half-Korean, half European. Aunt Carolyn took more after the European side of the heritage, especially in the kitchen. She made an awesome meatloaf." She chuckled and looked over at Dave and Becca. "She would have loved that meatloaf cupcake." Her eyes watered at the bottom edge. "Visiting her was a way to encounter the white half of my ancestry. She had prints from famous artists. Classic books. If I was there on a Saturday night, she'd serve cheese and crackers, sometimes with a little sausage. As I got older, she'd let me have a small glass of wine as well." Jan took a light breath. "She played some classical music, but mostly it was Michael Bolton and Kenny G. Maybe some Cranberries and Matchbox Twenty when she felt wild. I haven't heard from her in over a month. And she has asthma." Jan trailed off into silence and the room observed it with her. Lupie reached out a hand to Jan's shoulder. She in turn, put her own hand on top of Lupie's. She turned her head and smiled. With a small nod, she turned away again, staring at the floor. Both hands dropped away. After a reasonable silence, Becca spoke. "When I was thirteen, my cousin Kimberly, who was sixteen, offered to pierce my ears for me." Half the women groaned. Dave sat silently, suspecting this wouldn't end well. "She got a large sewing needle, a bottle of rum, a small bowl, and a pair of my mom's stud earrings." "Rum?" Jan asked. Becca rolled her eyes. "Yeah," she said with a sigh, "she said she had to soak the needle in alcohol before using it." A variety of gasps, groans and sighs walked around the room. Dave's sympathetic grimace did less than his hand patting her knee to communicate his support. "Oh, but it gets worse. Wrong kind of alcohol at too low concentration, plus lots of sugar are only enablers. She cleaned my earlobes thoroughly with antimicrobial soap, so maybe that was the one thing she did almost right. But she didn't clean her own hands. And when she stuck the needle through; which hurt like hell; she stabbed her finger." Multiple hands struck foreheads or mouths. "Oh yeah. So we're both bleeding like stuck pigs, and crying. She's freaking out because 'the blood is mixing'. I never figured out what that meant. We bandage each other up the best we could, hide all the stuff from our parents and then hide ourselves. Three days later I have a raging infection in one earlobe and have to go to the doctor AND admit to my mom what happened." Becca paused, shaking her head. "Chewed my ass out. The doctor said because of the infection, I had to wait at least six months to get piercings. Mom added another six as punishment. She did take me to get professional piercings one year to the day after the doctor's visit though." Becca's eyes watered. Dave leaned over and kissed her cheek as a single tear slid down her face. Dave noticed Melanie getting increasingly fidgety. He thought he first noticed something during Becca's tale about his workouts. Maybe when the stories ran out, he'd have his head right. It wasn't fair to her to make her wait too long for imprinting. Or Liv. God, he really needed to get his head around this. He loved Olivia, he truly did. He was just so used to it being a non-sexual, non-romantic relationship. He'd looked on her as nearly a daughter for, well, for her whole life. But she wasn't his daughter. And she loved him. That was so clear in her eyes, every time she looked at him. Not just today, but thinking back over the years. It's crazy to think he could hurt this person he cared so deeply for, by not having sex with her. Fuck, it was Kim Dawson all over again. Shawna sat placidly, attentive as others told their stories. As the room lay silent again for a time, she took her turn. "I once caught my brother coming out of the shower with his girlfriend." Grins and giggles passed around the room. "Mind you, this is after my mother had chewed me out for getting frisky with, um, my best friend in my room." "Oh" several said in unison. "We were experimenting," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "It was my first Thanksgiving Break home from college. We were just friends, with nothing going on physical, since sixth grade. We were both single at the time, but we'd each had boyfriends, and each had sex before. We just thought we'd try out the other flavor. Who better to try that with than your ride or die?" She grinned. "Mom walked in when we had our shirts loose and hands inside each other's bras. Mom got all pissy about it and made some comment along the lines of 'Darian would never disrespect me by having sex under my roof.' Yeah sure Mom." Shawna rolled her eyes. "The bathroom smelled of" she looked straight at Becca, "pussy, so they'd been going at it in there. Mom wasn't home, so the obvious sounds of continuing humping came from his room almost immediately." "Hell of it is, she was this tiny little thing. Barely five foot tall and a nothing waist. And since I'd seen Darian stumbling around out of the bathroom when we both had midnight potty urges, well, he wasn't great at covering up when he's drowsy, and in his case, the stereotype is true. I don't know how he'd didn't break her in half." "After she left, I confronted him with Mom's comment. Now Darian ain't scared of shit; not a machismo thing, he uses his brain; but Momma. She's a foot shorter and at least a hundred pounds less muscle but that boy will cringe and genuflect if Momma is mad. He starts bargaining with me. Of course, he can't offer money since he's just getting his feet under him. He had plans, and he did eventually move out, but he was scrimping and saving so paying me money to shut up would have crippled him." We all hung there, waiting. "Well, Darian had been incredibly protective of me growing up. He over did it, by a lot. So my price for silence was for him to set me up with a friend of his that I had always wanted to date, but Darian kept getting in the way." She paused for a minute. "You know how you really want something, and imagine what it would be like to get it? And then you do, and ugh. Darian meant to protect me against a guy getting handsy. In this case he was protecting me from getting bored. The guy was about as much fun as a wet paper towel. I gave him a handshake at my door when he dropped me off." All the ladies shook their heads in commiseration. Dave closed his eyes and kept his mouth shut. Becca however, didn't. "Dave, how many of your dates ended in handshakes?" "None, from now on," he said flatly. "You got that right." Shawna said. Jan just shrugged and nodded. Becca and Liv hugged him tightly. Mel rubbed a hand against his back. Lupie sat still with an enigmatic grin. Dave knew there were thoughts churning behind those dark chocolate eyes. While he wondered what those thoughts were, he had a thought of his own. Maybe it was what she was thinking, maybe not. Here he was, sleeping with four women, two more about to be added to their ranks, and he hadn't taken a single one of them on so much as one date. That couldn't stand. Granted, movies and restaurant dinners were out. But they had two backyards to have a picnic meal in. The parks were open too. Maybe the Botanical gardens? He'd need to talk with each one, find out what they wanted, and find a way to make it happen. "Well Becca already told a story for me," Lupie said, breaking the silence. Becca blushed and chuckled. "So Melanie, what can you share with the family?" "I was orphaned so early, I don't really remember my parents. Just a few fuzzy images. I bounced from one foster home to another. One time I got to stay in the same place for two years. Usually it was more like eight to ten months. The social workers tried to at least let me stay in one school for a full year. Some of them anyway." "I don't have any horror stories about it. Other kids I fostered with told me about other homes they've been in, and some of those were bad. So I don't want to suggest it doesn't happen, it just never happened to me. The worst for me was not being connected to anyone for long. Honestly, living with Olivia is the longest I've shared a place with anyone. And she brought me home on holidays." Her face darkened. "Carter and Janelle were nice to me." Then she laughed. "I think Carter suspected I was Liv's lesbian lover though." "Oh my god." Liv rolled her eyes and brought a hand to her forehead, covering her eyes. Only Dave noticed Jan wincing at the hated phrase. Then Mel's face went blank, trying to hold back the intense emotions. "You're the closest I've ever had to a sister." The two college girls hugged. After a brief pause, Dave chimed in. "Now that is a tough life, having Olivia as your sister." Melanie laughed. Olivia turned and punched him in the shoulder, with a tight smile on her face. Laughing and rolling with the punch, Dave couldn't help but notice the way her large tits jiggled with the turn and the force of her punch. When she leaned against him, he found himself wishing her neckline was cut lower. The thought was surprising, and conducive to future events, but still slightly disconcerting. Before he could get too lost in his head, Jan spoke up. "So, how about a story about young Olivia?" she asked. Liv groaned. Dave grinned. "Okay, so we've mentioned before she hunts, hikes, does all kinds of outdoors She-Ra stuff." Liv glared up at him. She adjusted her head so the backs of her round silver stud earrings wouldn't poke her head. Mel rubbed Liv's back reassuringly. "You may have noticed that fishing was not mentioned in that list." "Oh God, no." Liv covered her face with her hands. The grins on every face in the room showed realization dawning in each of the other minds present. "So, Carter and I took Eddie and Liv fishing. Carter preferred drift catfishing, so we'd get out on the lake very early, usually by three am, four if we were running late. We had a small casting net we'd use in the shallows to catch bait fish. Then Carter would take the boat to a point up current from where he suspected the cats would be, and we'd drift across with our hooks in the water. Well, the bait fish had to be cut into two or three pieces to be useful. Olivia objected. But not to cutting the fish. To holding them. She squealed every time we put one in her hands. She loved casting the net and hauling it in. she liked fighting the fish on the rod, put touch one with her hands? Oh, no, not happening." Olivia buried her head in his chest and glared upward. "Oh, did I mention her fishing rod and tackle box were Barbie themed?" A series of giggles followed that assertion. "Don't talk about that!" "But you were cute!" "Shit like that is why you keep seeing me as a little girl for you to protect and raise instead of a woman you could sleep with." Olivia humphed. "Beginning to think the only way to change your mind is to sit here topless. I wait like that long enough and your cock might start taking charge." She accented her words by puffing out her generous chest and turning partially towards Dave. "You go girl," Shawna laughed. "How about some big titty solidarity?" She unbuttoned two buttons on her blouse. Jan joined in the laughter while Lupie shook her head, smiling. Becca stared a chant of 'Do it!' quickly joined by Mel. They both shook their chests in time with the chant. "No." Dave said, staring at Liv with no hint of a smile. He swatted Becca on the knee. "Hmm, what do I need to do to get a spanking Daddy?" Melanie purred. "Do not start that shit." Dave tried to be stern this time but didn't quite manage it. "Speaking of getting something started, I'm getting kinda itchy here. I don't know if either of you are in the mood yet, but this serum is starting to eat at me." Liv and Mel exchanged looks. "I don't want to jump the line on banging your dream guy, but please girl, let's get this started. If you don't go, I will." "Sexier words were never spoken," Dave noted dryly. That got Liv laughing. Dave stood. "Do you two want to do this one at a time, or side-by-side?" "One at a time," Mel stated emphatically. "After walking in on you masturbating once, I don't need to see that pussy again." Liv groaned and turned her head to the ceiling. Then Mel turned to Lupie "hashtag justiceforLupie." She grinned. Lupie just rolled her eyes while Becca laughed. Jan laughed, but reached out a hand to Lupie's shoulder. Dave took Olivia's hand and turned to the stairs. She interlocked her fingers with his and walked beside him with her head against his shoulder. They stayed like that until they reached the bed. Dave turned to face Olivia, placing his hands on her shoulders. She looked into his eyes, hungry, pleading. Dave took a deep, shuddering breath and pushed aside the thoughts of the little girl that kissed him on the check at bedtime as he tucked her into bed. He stared into Olivia's eyes, focusing on the woman in front of him, as she is now, wanting to be with him. She loved him. had for a long time. She had been dedicated to the idea of being with him for life, for longer than, well, any woman in his past or present. The reality of that finally washed over him. His love for her did not need to end or change, merely grow. He had always been hers. Dave pulled Olivia into him and kissed her with passion. Olivia moaned into the kiss. Dave felt her hot tears as their cheeks brushed. He pulled back, their faces parted but close. "I love you Olivia Barnes, always and forever." A heart-rending sob burst from her as her dearest dream manifested. She jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, and kissing him fiercely, their tongues dancing. Dave slowly walked them to the edge of the bed and sat her down. Mostly. Olivia was not letting go. Dave tugged at the bottom of her blouse and lifted. Olivia broke the kiss and raised her arms, her legs still clutching him tightly. Dave paused removing her shirt when her lips were exposed, but her eyes still covered. He moved in for a kiss. He felt her grin as their lips moved in unison. Olivia then grabbed Dave's shirt as he finished removing hers. Dave moved to her jeans and quickly removed those as She reached for his waist band. Olivia grasped his pants and boxers as one and removed them. Dave, standing, naked and half-erect. Olivia, seated on the edge of the bed, in a lacy white bra and matching panties. They drank each other in. She looked up at him. "Well, part of you is getting interested," she smirked. "You get all of me, Olivia, just as you always have. I'll show you my love every day. It will just manifest in a few new ways from now on." Olivia scooted up the bed as Dave crawled up, aligning himself over her, kissing as they moved. Dave's hands wandered along her thighs and sides. Olivia's fingers coursed lazily along his back. "Just one request." She gave him an impish look. "When you go get Mel to bring her up here, leave my legs spread so the first thing she sees when she walks in is my pussy." "You're rotten ya know that? I have to live with her too ya know." "She'll laugh. It's just roommate hijinks." Dave returned to kissing Olivia. He moved his lips lower, down her neck, to her collarbone, and then the slopes of her tits. He slipped his hands underneath her, unclasping her bra. Gingerly, he removed it. Olivia's large tits, no longer supported by a bra, formed two delicious lumps on her chest, that looked like they were about to slide off her chest. Olivia's eyes glistened, radiating joy as Dave took her tits in his hands and began kissing them. She moaned as he ministered to her bosom with his mouth. When he took one nipple in his mouth and suckled, she gasped. "Oh, David, Yes!" Pleasure and unbridled joy left her breathing ragged, her mind awash in bliss. His hands remained at her tit, massaging gently, easing her higher with delicate caresses. His mouth proceed lower, kissing her ribs. Her abdomen. Kissing and licking her belly button. She giggled and twisted her torso. Dave brought his hands down to Olivia's hips. He grasped her panties and pulled them down to her ankles, raising himself and her legs up. He tossed them aside and brought his face to kiss the crease of her pelvis and her hip. She shuddered. Her arousal scented the room. Her lovely light brown vulva filled his vision as he breathed softly across her bare essence. The hairs of the small landing strip on her mons tousled in the artificial breeze. She lifted her head to look at him. "David;” she pleaded. He grinned. He locked eyes with her and closed his mouth around her lower lips and began to suckle. Her body arched and she sucked in a breath. His tongue played across her sopping wet slit. He tasted her juices. He nibbled her flowering inner lips. He slipped his tongue into her entrance. "Oh God David Yes! Oh please put it in me." Olivia whimpered. "Darling, you've wanted this night for a long time. I intend to make it worthwhile." "You are enough David, that's al; Ah" she cried out as he took her clitoris in his mouth and suckled. He slid one finger gently inside, massaging her tunnel. Every stroke drew her natural lubricant in greater volume than the last. He inserted as second finger and she moaned, writhing, hips bucking. He released her button and withdrew his fingers. She eased her motions. Dave crawled up her body, a victorious and hungry grin on his face. She beamed, breathing heavily. He caressed and kissed her tits briefly as he moved up. Finally hovering over her, face to face, bodies aligned, his erection resting between them, Dave kissed her once again. She clutched him and returned the kiss. Dave maneuvered his member with his hips, aligning with her fully relaxed and open entrance. He pushed in gently, a small distance just to lodge the tip of his helmet in her. The precum coating his cockhead set off a body-rocking orgasm that stole her breath. When her eyes re-opened, Dave drove himself into her, full length, in one smooth stroke. Her eyes glowed with joy. He began moving himself in and out of her. Slowly at first. Always firmly, gently. Staring into her eyes as he worked them both to ecstasy. He picked up his pace. She began rocking her hips with his. Soon they were pounding into each other, breathing raggedly, eyes still locked, her hands braced behind his shoulders until their passion pushed him over the brink, firing rope after rope of hot cum into her waiting vagina. The effect on Olivia was immediate. A primal scream of pleasure burst from her lips as her body convulsed like a marionette in the hands of an angry child. And then she fell to the bed, limp. "Imprinting,; imprinting,; imprinting, ;” Dave kissed her forehead and extracted himself from her body. He crawled off the bed and left to clean himself in the bathroom. He returned with a damp washcloth to clean her. After dressing in loose shorts and a shirt, he arranged her as she'd requested and left the room shaking his head. Melanie met him at the bottom of the stairs with a passionate kiss and a tight hug. "You need a minute or two?" "Yeah, let me get a drink and I should be fine." He returned the kiss, then slipped from her arms to search out some juice from the fridge. "Oh, I thought you meant you needed a little something to steel yourself for doing me." "Please." Dave guzzled half the glass. "One, you are hot. Two," he blushed a bit, "I have a thing for redheads." Melanie smiled. "Oh yeah?" "Hell, if you had freckles, I'd kiss each one of them." That made her blush. After Dave finished off a second glass of juice, he and Melanie headed upstairs, pursued by catcalls and wolf whistles. Esme, who'd been invited into the living room after Dave and Olivia had gone upstairs, just laughed at the shenanigans. Opening the door, Melanie exclaimed, "Oh my god, you left; " she pursed her lips. "No, she put you up to this didn't she?" Dave chuckled and grabbed a light blanket. "No," Melanie said, "save that to cover us both when you finish with me." She cupped her hand under one of Liv's shapely thighs and brought the leg over the other, giving her friend a bit of modesty she hadn't asked for. Dave noticed that her hand seemed to linger just a bit on Liv's thigh. It certainly looked like Mel gave her rump a light squeeze. Maybe he just imagined it. She turned to face him. "Reading between the lines, from everything Liv's told me, you don't think you deserve any of us, do you?" Dave swallowed hard, trying not to react. "I'm going to tell you something harsh and reassuring. You don't. And you know something else? We don't deserve your love either. I learned bouncing around those homes that love isn't earned. It's too valuable to be earned. No one is ever worthy of someone else's love. Body, heart, or mind. Love is a gift. We each give our love to you, by our choice. And you give us your love by your choice. I barely know you and I'm more comfortable being here with you than I've ever been with any man." She paused to let that sink in. "David, just accept that you are a damn good man, and we are all happy to be here with you. Enjoy what we give you. Let us enjoy what you give in return." Dave felt like this beautiful young woman that barely knew him was staring straight into his heart, laying it bare and spearing it with the cruelest weapon; hope. He stretched out his hand tentatively, reaching for the sash holding her blouse closed. She looked down briefly, seeing his hand. She immediately looked into his eyes and gave the smallest nod, and a smile. Dave pulled slowly on the loose tail of the cinch and dropped it. The belt ends fell to her sides and the halves of her blouse hung loosely, exposing the center of her chest and abdomen. Melanie had a belly button piercing. A small chain with two small clear crystals near the top and at the bottom, a butterfly done mostly in silver metal clasping tiny crystals, except for a soft pink pearl serving as the body of the faux insect. "You like? Your profile said you weren't a fan of body modification, but I was hoping you would be ok with this." "It's cute and sexy and innocent and naughty all at once." Dave smiled. He stepped up to her, sliding his hands into her blouse and around her back. He pulled her into a soft, slow kiss. They explored each other that way for a few minutes. Dave brought his hands up to her tits, cupping them and kneading them through her black satin bra. Melanie sucked in a breath and hummed. She broke the kiss and drew his attention with her eyes. "The others told me how you like to take your time, maximize a woman's pleasure. I am super fucking horny right know. You can take me to the heights later, we have forever for that. Right now I just need to pound your stake into me and lay claim to my body." "What about your heart?" She grinned "Just like they said you would. It's getting there, just takes a bit more time." She shrugged her blouse off and shucked her pants. The panties were also black and satiny. "Come on Davey, fuck my brains out and make me yours." She tossed her bra and panties aside quickly and crawled up the bed, turn over on her back once she was alongside her friend. Dave stripped of his shirt and shorts rapidly and joined her on the bed, pressing his body lightly against hers. His erection sandwiched between their torsos, her medium sized tit and their pointy nipples pressed against his chest. He kissed her again and she hummed. She worked her hips against his and together that got him lodged in her. A few strokes inside her passage caused him to leak out the first drips of precum and she exploded in a howling convulsion, her eyes rolling back, one hand flailing and bashing the insensate Olivia. "Fuck that was good. Give it to me David, give your woman what she needs. Seal your claim." She kissed him fiercely and they both rocked their hips savagely. No sensuality, just raw primal fucking of two hungry bodies. Despite his recent bout with Liv, this carnal frenzy brought Dave to the pinnacle faster than he anticipated and he crashed through, erupting a geyser of cum inside her depths. As the hot load filled her cavity, Melanie wailed in ecstasy, her mind shattered by the biochemical overload. Then she flopped to the bed, repeating the new world's chant of family harmony and togetherness. Chapter 6 – Shenanigans. October 4, 2020. David Belsus awoke to three beautiful young ladies lying beside him, all nude. As yet, none of his partners had elected to sleep in another room. Last night they all emphatically wanted to be near him. No one piled over anyone else. Lupie came to bed in a rich blue camisole with matching high cut panties. Shawna clad herself in a soft pink camisole and pink boy shorts. Jan wore one of Dave's sweatshirts as a baggy night gown, no panties underneath. He'd checked by way slipping his hands under the hem of the shirt to dance along her skin. Finding paradise exposed, he impishly fingered her to heaven as she begged for his cock. She beamed when he finished. She kissed him deeply after he sucked all her juices off his digits. None of the three were in bed at the moment. Shawna was likely on her way to work already. Which meant Jan and Lupie had gotten up with her to talk and share breakfast, or at least coffee. They had developed a morning routine rather quickly. That left Liv and Melanie nude, side by side on his left, and Becca, nude, curled tightly under his right arm, his hand resting just above her hip. She slumbered peacefully, unperturbed by the small motions he made as he took in the morning tableau. Becca's insecurities stemming from the near-abduction at the vax center had faded quickly with the reassurance of imprinting on Dave. What followed in its wake was the desire to be close to the person she'd just started sleeping with, magnified by this being the only person she'd ever slept with, further multiplied by the vaccine-clad certainty this was her person for life. Becca wasn't pushy about it. She knew enough to leave some space for the others to get their 'Dave time' too. In and out of bed. And the others, having experienced a similar phase in life, and happy that, for her, it really would be for a lifetime, accommodated her wherever possible. And then Dave's mind recalled a text conversation. "; Oh god, I just had this thrill run through me at the idea of waking up with you already in me, on top of me." Dave stroked her hip softly, slowly easing his fingers toward the crease where her leg met her pelvis. After several minutes of this, he brought his left hand up to cup her tit, massaging lightly, avoiding the nipple. He wanted to slowly raise her towards wakefulness, and ignite her libido, but he didn't want her awake until after he'd penetrated her. Just as she'd asked. Dave carefully eased himself out of her arms, rotating himself until he was kneeling on the bed, behind her knees and 'under' her butt as Becca lay curled on her left side. Dave leaned in and began kissing along Becca's outer thigh of her top leg while gently stroking the inner thigh of her bottom leg with his right hand. His left hand stroked softly along her side. A quick brush of her lower lips indicated her unconscious arousal, or the serum effects. Either way, Dave rubbed his half-hard cock between her thighs, rubbing against her labia, to get them both ready. He kept kissing her hand and arm while softly playing with her tit. "David?!" Came the scandalized whisper. Lupie and Jan stood, frozen, in the doorway, not believing what they were seeing. "She expressly asked for this, you can even check my text messages." Both ladies looked concerned, but said no more. A few more minutes of play time had Dave fully hard, regaining what he briefly lost with the interruption. Becca was ready as well. Dave seated himself at her entrance and pushed slowly, steadily forward. He was half inside her, leaning over her when Becca's eyes flew open. Wide-eyed, mouth agape, she turned her head and moaned. She writhed against David and clutched his upright arms. When her breath returned, she kissed him hard. She pulled away, winking as she deliberately flexed the muscles of her inner passage. Dave took that as a signal to continue. He steadily worked himself in her. Becca grinned madly, moaning and encouraging him. In a few minutes, both were racing to a peak they reached in tandem. Becca fell limp against the mattress, gasping. Dave steadied himself by resting his ass on his heels. Both dismounted the bed and began searching for clothes. Lupie gave Dave a quick kiss on the cheek and hugged Becca before heading downstairs. Jan stayed to change clothes. Jan viewed Becca with a grin. "Get your jollies little freak?" Becca beamed and blushed. "Umm hmm." "Just razzing you, ya know." "I know. I'm still learning what I like, and that is one of them. You know, the way you get off when a guy has a big; book collection." Her eyes twinkled. She squealed and caught the pillow Jan threw as she joined the laughter. "Oh my god, a naked pillow fight. I knew they were real!" Dave laughed and ducked as both partners chucked pillows at him. Dark brown irises set in almond eyes gazed at Dave from Becca's laptop resting on the folding table Becca had set up in one of the unused bedrooms. Raven black hair framed an oval face of chocolate brown before cascading over shoulders set with remembered power, but a hint of sag. The plain white scoop necked t-shirt stretched into small ripples between her tits. The shirt was mostly opaque, yielding evidence of a white bra of exactly the same tone as the shirt, but nonetheless unable to disguise two ripe, thick nipples making their presence known. As the call began, her small, tight mouth had appeared balanced between the promise of lighting up the room with a smile, or unleashing a verbal tirade that would leave all within earshot cringing. Dave's skeptical, reserved approach was pushing her more towards desperation. "Yes, I have been; unkind to people through all of high school. I thought I was better than a lot of people. I had a group that I hung out with, and we deemed ourselves 'the betters' of everyone else. Becca knows some of what I did, more from hearing about it or seeing it than experiencing it directed at her. I; held back since she helped me study." Reena swallowed before continuing. "I've had all these months to think about life and people and a lot of stuff okay? I'm not proud of my behavior. I was a bitch." Her eyes began to water at the lower edge. "Being isolated, knowing people are dying, finding out from a few friends they only have another day or hour left; " her voice caught. A few tears coursed down her apple cheeks, but she batted them aside quickly. "Do you know what it's like to stop hearing from someone that you thought you'd invite to your wedding, or have your kids play together?" Becca inhaled, about to speak, but Dave stayed her with a gentle touch. It wouldn't do to interrupt when Reena was clearly pouring her heart out. The words she spoke over the next several minutes could be the ones he really needed to hear to make a good decision. "The kids in grades below us stopped answering a long time ago. There's an internet rumor that this thing takes more men than women, and everyone under eighteen, but even the ones over eighteen are hard to find someone that answers, boy or girl." Reena's 'queen of the school' composure was cracking. While that allowed a glimpse at the person behind the mask, it wouldn't do to let her fall apart. Time to say something reassuring, but realistic. "Reena, just tell me about why you want to be here." "Honestly, Becca may be the only friend I have left I the world. And I was never a very good friend to her before. I; I want to do better. I've been thinking a lot about what I should change. Specific things I should stop saying or doing. Remembering to say 'please' when I ask for something instead of expecting compliance because of 'who I am.' Or saying 'thank you' when someone else does something for me. Doing something for someone else just because they need it, even if they never asked." Shaking, Reena paused to collect herself. "Becca has told me about you. I'm not smart like you and her, but I would like to study something past high school. Please, please choose me. I'll; I'll do anything you want." Her voice lowered and her eyes dropped at the last sentence. "There's a lot I still don't know about sex, but I'll learn. I'll be your little; " "Hold up. Kareena, I'm not out to push you to be some kind of play toy. If we are compatible in other ways, we'll figure out the sex part. Why don't you tell me about your hobbies, things you do just because they're fun? May be things you did even if your friends weren't into them." "Well, I do like to read; even though I joined in with the others when we made fun of 'bookworms'." Her eyes were downcast for the end of that sentence but came back up. "Becca mentioned you're a big book lover. But; I don't read; like nonfiction, or high class stuff. I mean, I have red Lord of the Rings, but that took forever. I could only get through like the first three pages of Moby Dick and Tale of Two Cities before passing out though." She still looked scared, so Dave gave her some reassurance. "Yeah, I think I maxed out after the first chapter of each of those. Some people love that style, but for me, it was a snooze fest too. The last two I mean. I love Lord of the Rings. So tell me, what do you like to read?" "Well, there's this series about this guy that keeps monsters in check in the San Francisco area." "Monsters?" Dave tried not to sound dubious. "Well, magical creatures. Fairies, unicorns, vampires, stuff like that. Oh, the author's name is Blake Conrad. It's a lot of fun if you like magic stuff. I have the full collection. Everything that's out so far. The next book was due out already, but the pandemic hit and who knows when they'll publish it now. For all I know, the one that's waiting is the last one. Chances are the author caught this thing and died months ago." Her face darkened again. "Well, if this does work out," Dave said, "You're welcome to bring your complete; Blake Conrad collection with you, and we'll look for similar books, similar titles. I know Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman and Ursula K. Le Guin use a lot of magic themes in their works. Sounds like they might be right up your alley." Hearing Dave endorse her reading interest perked Reena up. "You know, I could help the other girls too. I like doing nails. I'm pretty good at it too. I can free hand designs and stuff." "I could see where that could come in handy. So to speak." Dave grimaced at his unintended pun. Becca laughed. Reena just shook her head. "Anyway, I'm sure some of the ladies would appreciate that. I'll stick with natural myself," Dave said with a wink. That got a chuckle out of her. "Look, I'm not expecting you to have everything planned out. You're eighteen. There's still a lot to decide. And speaking of decisions, I'd like you to meet virtually with the other ladies of the house and we'll talk as a family after." "Also, take some time yourself to think this through completely. I know you want to be here so you can be close to someone familiar, but bear in mind, that means being sexually bonded to me, a forty-six year old man, more than twice your age. By the time you were born, I'd finished grad school, got married, had a kid, and divorced." Reena looked pensive but nodded. Dave left her to talk with Becca more. He caught Jan in the library with a notepad, apparently noting possible additions. On his suggestion, she left to join Becca. In the dining room, he found Olivia munching a bowl of cereal. Lupie sat with her. The two were sharing an easy conversation which halted when Dave walked in. He'd seen Lupie's bible on an end table in the living room when he passed through. Liv must have come down to get breakfast while Lupie was conducting a bible study on her own. Not like it was safe yet to go to a church. Especially when so many church goers around here seemed to buy into the 'just a hoax' nonsense. Dave shook his head. Christian Nationalism seem purpose built to destroy conservatism and faith in one fell swoop. Sure had a good shot at it with this damn plague. Dave shook out thoughts of things he couldn't control. Here, now, was one woman that had been interested in him for a few years as she lived next door, and another that had pined for him for; a decade? And both were happy to be bound to him by this weird vaccine, even though it meant sharing him with other women. This world was wonderful and terrifying in the same breath. "Morning, Hermosa," Dave said before kissing Lupie on the lips. She hummed into the brief contact. "Morning, love bug," he said as he greeted Olivia in the same manner. As he pulled away, she slugged his shoulder, smiling scowl pulling her lips tight. Lupie shook her head. "David, I'm with Olivia on this one. Terms of endearment you used when she was a child are not conducive to her feeling she's being accepted as a woman." "I meant it as continuity. She has a lot of love to give. Always has. And I appreciate that." Olivia's scowl relaxed but did not become a smile. Well, not immediately. Lupie raised an eyebrow at him with a gentle smile. Dave realized what he needed was a change of subject. "Becca is upstairs Zooming with a friend of hers from high school. She; would like to join us here." Both ladies smirked. Dave sighed and rolled his eyes. He brought a hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes before leaning into the hand, the elbow of the same arm resting on the table. "Look, it's not like I'm seeking women out. I'm not out pursuing young girls." Olivia shifted in her seat. "I mean; " "I get it Dave. Don't apologize." Her voice was soft, with a hint of iron. "I talked with her for a while. She's apparently been talking with Becca since before the two of you got vaxxed in the first place." He said, looking at Lupie. "And it seems Becca has been telling Reena all about us, especially about vaxxed life with me." "Kareena Agrawal? The one Becca calls 'the Indian Karen'?" Olivia barely managed to contain the mouthful of cereal and milk at Lupie's interjection. Dave held back a laugh. "She seems genuinely heartbroken and lost, Lupie. And she has taken time in isolation to examine her past behavior." Dave paused, looking each of them in the eye. "I'm reserving judgement for now. I think it would be a good idea if each of you took time to talk with her, probably with Becca as host. I ran into Jan already, she's probably up there with her now. All I'm asking is that you get with Becca sometime today to find a time you can Zoom with her and form your own opinion. I may be 'the man of the house'; " Dave bowed his arms out from his sides, leaning side to side with a faux stern look on his face; "but this is too big not to get ya'lls take on it as well." Both women giggled at the display. "Okay, okay, I'll seek Becca out in a few minutes. I'll give Reena a fair hearing, just understand, I've heard enough of her exploits to be a bit wary." "Wouldn't have it any other way, cielo." The warmth of the smile Lupie gave him was enough to power an entire town. It was a few hours past noon when Dave heard voices in the bedroom. He left his office to see if that meant Melanie was up. She'd been out for eighteen hours. Opening the door, he found Becca and Liv sitting on the bed, talking. Mel was nowhere to be seen. "Mel up I take it?" "Yup, been awake for a few minutes. She needed to use the bathroom," Becca informed him. "She'll probably be in there a while." Liv chimed in, just as Mel emerged. She had a huge smile on her face. "Wow, usually a night like last night would leave you crying on the toilet for an hour. And I needed a hazmat suit to go in there afterwards." Mel smirked. She strode over to Dave and gave him a big hug. He recognized the t-shirt she wore, black with a white line drawing of Einstein sticking out his tongue. Recognized, because it was probably the one from his closet. "Looks like I unlocked the special bonus. They did say sometimes a healing process happens during imprinting. How long was I out anyway?" "About eighteen hours," said Liv. "Longest of any of my partners. What's the healing you're talking about?" "I have; had; I B S. I tend to be careful about what I eat, or go ahead and indulge once in a while, knowing I'm going to pay the price in the morning." She turned to face Liv, with her hands on her hips. "And for your information missy, I was somewhat careful last night. The wine was dry, and I only ate a little bit of cheese. And I didn't have any deviled eggs." She grumbled that last sentence. Liv looked at Dave. "She loves deviled eggs, especially made with dill relish instead of sweet, which I've told her was the way you do it. Not that you made last night's, but that does mean the only relish in the house is dill. Problem is, the protein in the whites plus the fat in the yolk and mayo is an issue for her. If it weren't for that, she'd gobble deviled eggs like she's trying to set a world record." Dave chuckled. "As a deviled egg lover, I can testify that that much deviled egg will cause intestinal issues that oughta be against the Geneva Convention, without any medical conditions." The trio giggled. Becca sat bolt upright for a minute. "Hey, weren't there deviled eggs leftover in the fridge?" Mel was already up and moving. "Clear square sandwich container with the see through blue lid!" Mel's happy cackle faded as she sprinted down the stairs. To be continued in part 5, Based on a post by RonanJWilkerson, in 12 parts, for Literotica.

0:00 Intro 0:11 Santa 8:52 Break up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam goes where he's never gone before for our sixth annual Winter Bizarre with a delve into his teen psyche as he recaps A Very Jonas Christmas Movie from 2025. Does he know anything about the Jonas Brothers? No. But neither does Danielle, so it's fine. We quickly learn there are three of them, which Danielle was pretty sure about having paid some modicum of attention to the last twenty years of music, but Sam was guessing on through context. Unfortunately, other than that, the movie is short on details about the lives of the Bronases, expecting if you are choosing to watch this movie you already have some insider knowledge. They'd be wrong. In a surprising twist of movie-telling, when the Bronases are going to be separated for the holidays post-tour (which frankly, they should be for their mental health), Santa decides to help them out by gifting them the curse of not being able to leave Europe and make it home to their families in the states for Christmas. Yes, Santa does think that three grown, wealthy men who have a private jet are the protagonists of a holiday movie. Yes, the movie is not about the inherent system inequalities of the industrial wealth complex and how the Bronases overcome it to become better people. Yes, Santa does think these men with families who just spent every day of the last six months together on tour need to skip seeing their children to spend more time together. Santa…what are you doing right now? Anyway, morality aside, cue shenanigans as the trio Planes, Trains, & Automobiles all over the continent trying to escape the curse of Santa. Oh, did we mention it's a musical? And we don't mean a "of course, it has musical numbers, the Jonas Brothers are on tour", we mean a full-on musical with dance sequences in train stations. Does that make up for the premise? Honestly, yes. Did Danielle watch this the moment Sam was done talking about it? Also, yes. The Bronases are shockingly delightful as they gallivant around Europe in search of…each other? Per usual, therapy would solve these issues. Per usual, nobody gets therapy and their emotions are solved by literal magic. Oh, holiday movies, never change.

  By Mary Lindow AS I PREPARE THIS PODCAST OUR HOME HAS THE AROMA OF BANANA BREAD FILLING THE AIR WITH A COZY WARMTH. Soft Carols are playing in the background. My dear Steve has gone bed for now. He's been working on a carpentry project for my Christmas present.   AS I SIT HERE, MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE MOVED WITH TENDERNESS FOR THOSE WHO ARE GRIEVING over the recent miscarriage of a 22 week old baby, a friend who has had a sudden death of a family member, those friends of mine tending to the sick and fragile, and for the widows I know, who ache for the arms of the one they loved so well for so long. My heart is saddened by the weariness of knowing single friends of Steve and I are longing for rest and still have hopes of meeting another godly person who might be the one to nurture and live them. ALL OF THE KINDNESSES AND BEAUTIFUL THINGS OF CHRISTMAS, truly, when wrapped up in compassion, outreach to those who are hurting, personal sacrifice so that others may thrive, and with discernment to know when these things are God nudging you, this is what makes the true value of Christmas shine.   CHRIST CAME TO GIVE. He came to give all. To tend to all those that were held captive, to set them free, to open the eyes of the blinded and the cerebral intellectuals who refuse to hear the truth. But yet, HE came! And HE is still speaking today, still pursuing those who run from him.   WHEN GOD BREATHED THE BREATH OF LIFE INTO EVERY HUMAN BEING... ...IT WAS HIS BREATH   As long as there is breath in a human, it is the breath of God. God will pursue every human being, regardless of how they feel towards him. This is the love that came down at Christmas. And this is the love that stays. People can run. But they cannot hide from the light of God.   AS I SHARE THIS BRIEF BUT WARM AND HEARTFELT PODCAST WITH YOU, I wanted to share something so profoundly, beautiful and so well spoken. I've read over and meditated/ pondered it many times during this Christmas season because there have been disappointments! There have has been betrayals, harsh words, indifference, people pushing you away because they can't receive the love you offer them. These are the things Jesus experienced on a regular basis, and yet in his perfection, he continued to pursue the will of God in his life, and eventually, it COST him his life!   THAT LITTLE, WEE BABE IN THE MANGER TROUGH, He was filled with the fullness of God and was God, but chose to walk out in human flesh, incarnate, the life of everyday human beings, in order to prove that he was aware of the suffering and the sorrows of this human life in a fallen world.   AS I SHARE THIS BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION FROM ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL BY THE NAME OF JESSICA JECKER, (who is an influencer on another social media site), I hope that you will allow it to saturate any part of you that is suffering or that is resisting love, or, is perhaps angry at God, questioning why life is so hard, or where you may have become bitter and hardened to the tenderness that is available to each of us.   LISTEN CLOSELY TO THE CRY OF MALACHI AND WHAT GOD‘S WORD SPOKE. Listen to the words of one pondering the beauty and the fierce sacrifice that Jesus so humbly and willingly yielded to so that we might truly celebrate a Savior. HERE IT IS: “This week, I lingered in the final breath of Malachi's words and I felt the unbearable weight of what followed. When the prophet finished speaking, heaven did not answer. The echo of his voice faded...and then... nothing. Four hundred years of silence. No open vision. No burning word. No prophet rising with fire in his bones. No “Thus says the Lord” breaking the darkness. Four hundred years of waiting. Of longing. Of groaning. Of hearts lifted toward heaven that seemed sealed shut. Generation after generation was born into the quiet. They lived. They died. And still—no voice. Until one night. On a dirt floor in a forgotten place... in a stable that did not look holy... in the shadows of obscurity and insignificance... a sound was released. After four hundred years, heaven spoke again— Not with thunder, not with fire, not from a mountain- but from the lungs of a newborn. A cry pierced the silence. A cry that split history in two. A cry that carried eternity within it. In that moment, the King of Glory stepped down into the dust of His own creation. The Eternal wrapped Himself in skin. The Word became flesh—and cried. The Son laid aside His throne and chose a manger. Heaven's highest treasure placed in a feeding trough. He came low. He came meek. He came breakable. Wrapped in swaddling cloths, laid where animals ate, born beneath the looming shadow of a cross. A Lamb born to be slain. The Hope of a hopeless world breathed His first breath in the dark. A weary world rejoiced as a young virgin labored and delivered its redemption. In that manger, the Great I AM made Himself vulnerable. Touchable. Killable. And with one holy cry, the silence was shattered. The separation was broken. The way was opened. Then, suddenly, heaven could not remain quiet. The skies erupted with angelic voices declaring, “Glory to God in the highest!” Wonderful. Counselor. Mighty God! Everlasting Father. Prince of Peace. With the cry of an infant, heaven invaded earth. Behold—our Redeemer. Behold—our King. Behold—the fulfillment of every promise. Behold—the sound that broke four hundred years of silence. Not the roar of an army. Not the shout of a king claiming His crown. But the fragile cry of God-with-us. He did not arrive with a sword in His hand, but with nails already written into His future. He did not enter wrapped in royalty, but in cloths that foretold a burial. The silence was not just broken, it was answered. Every unanswered prayer. Every tear cried into the dark. Every generation that waited without seeing. Every promise that seemed delayed but not denied. All of it converged in that single cry. That night, heaven did not just speak- heaven gave. God did not send another prophet. He did not send another sign. He sent Himself. And in that stable, eternity took its first shallow breath. Omnipotence learned weakness. Glory learned humility. Love made itself small. The cry that shattered the silence would one day be echoed again- not from a manger, but from a cross. The first cry said, “He has come.” The final cry would say, “It is finished.” From swaddling cloths to grave clothes, from a feeding trough to a borrowed tomb, He came to be broken so we could be made whole. And even now, that sound still reverberates. It calls the weary. It awakens the forgotten. It reaches into the places where heaven has felt silent again. If God could speak through the cry of a baby, He can still break silence in our darkest night. So behold Him. Not distant. Not untouchable. Not unmoved.   But Emmanuel. God.  With. Us."   SUCH TREMENDOUS AND EXPRESSIVE WORDS!   DEAR PERSON, WHO MAY BE LISTENING TO THIS PODCAST OR READING IT IN PRINTED FORM. Talk to Jesus. Cry. Ask Him to show you his love, his true self, his kindness. His merciful forgiveness. He's listening.   LET'S PRAY BEFORE I END THIS PODCAST. "Heavenly Father, For Those Who Are Lonely This Christmas, I Pray That You Would Surround Them With Your Presence. Let Them Feel Your Nearness. Bring People Into Their Lives Who Can Offer Companionship and Comfort. Help Them To Know That Even When They Feel Alone, Abandoned or Weary That They Are Never Truly Alone Because You Are Always With Them. Heal the Wounds That the Holidays Have Opened. Replace Sorrow With Your Joy, Despair With Your Hope, and Loneliness With the Knowledge That You Will Never Leave Us or Forsake Us. Thank You That Jesus Came To Heal the Brokenhearted and to Bind up our Deep Wounds From Life on Planet Earth. I Trust You To Do That Work in my Life and in the Lives of all Who Are Hurting This Christmas. Father, This Christmas I Celebrate the Birth of my Savior With a Grateful Heart. Help Me To Never Get Over the Wonder of the Gospel, Never Stop Being Amazed That You Loved Me Enough To Send Jesus. May my Life Be a Living Thank-You Note for the Gift You Gave at Christmas—the Gift of Your Son, my Savior and my King. In the Comforting Name of Jesus, Amen."   I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS PODCAST! I know that we are fast approaching that day we celebrate and give gifts and just sit back and enjoy the beauty of the season, but, I know many people suffer during this time and, Jesus is there with you. He's understands you're suffering and he understands where you're stuck. I encourage you to not hold onto those things that you want to manage or control or that you think, “This is just the way it's going to, be it's always been this way.” That is fatalistic thinking and it's really actually ungodly. It's an attitude that says, “I will control my destiny, and... I have control over my life because nobody else can help me.”   I ENCOURAGE YOU TO SOFTEN, TO TENDERIZE YOUR HEART BEFORE THE LORD IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS, and as you listen to Christmas carols and hear the words of “Joy to the World, the Lord Has Come, Let Earth Receive her King and Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room.” That means it's up to us to “prepare room” in our hearts to receive what the king has for us. All the things the King has for us. Some of it is discipline. Some of it is change. Some of it is repenting for just being angry , and some of it is walking in fear. Know this, that if we will prepare a room for him to come in and live and dwell, we can enjoy His presence in a greater way with us during this season and into the next year.   I'M GOING TO CLOSE OUT FOR NOW AND I WANT TO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LISTENING! I want to thank those of you who have been so kind to support and assist me. Honestly, I am just so grateful because I just don't know how I would really do these without those that are touched and moved by God to assist is publishing this podcast and also to assist me in helping others with counseling who have a lower incomes, or, who are going through difficulties where their income is so tight, and they need that counseling, they need that help. WHEN YOU HELP BLESS AND SUPPORT WHAT THE LORD HAS ASKED ME TO DO OFTEN I'M ABLE TO DO A LOT OF PRO BONO WORK because I know there's a little bit more in that bank account for ministry that I can then draw on. Steve and I live very frugally. We don't have big mansions and we certainly aren't driving any Rolls-Royce's, yet God seems to always come through and provide in ways that truly humble us. Part of that is those that God moves on, and those that listen to him and do support what God has called us to do in these days. I thank you again, and I asked that he pours out a blessing upon you in grace and in kindness and in peace for your kindness and grace back to me. I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY MOST PEACEFUL AND BLESSED AND JOYFUL CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SEASON!   I will close this podcast out now and send my love and blessing to each one you! Merry Christmas!   Duplication and sharing of this writing is welcomed As long as the complete message, website and podcast  information for Mary Lindow is included. Thank You! Copyright © 2025   " THE MESSENGER "  - "The Advocate of Hope"  Mary Lindow www.marylindow.com PODCAST   If you would be so kind and assist Mary helping her to meet other administrative needs such as website and podcast costs,  or  desire to bless her service in ministry with Spirit-led Love gifts or regular support: Please JOYFULLY send your gift in the form of:  ► Personal Checks ► Business Checks ► Money Orders ► Cashiers Checks To:  His Beloved Ministries Inc.  PO Box 1253 Denver, Colorado 80614  USA    Or feel free to use our send a tax-deductible gift with Pay Pal   paypal.me/mlindow  Under the name of - Mary Lindow His Beloved Ministries Inc.    ALL gifts are tax-deductible under His Beloved Ministries 5013c non-profit status.   We are financially accountable and have been in full compliance since 1985.  THANK YOU!      

In this Episode, I revisit my 2025 predictions! From the typical Frank “I told you so's” to the ones I got completely wrong. So…how did I do? Honestly, better than I expected. A little impressive. Maybe even scary at times.  Merry Christmas!

Interview with Tom Trevatt!In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of sitting down with Tom Trevatt, an outstanding photographer, educator, and podcaster whose work goes far beyond images.This was one of those rare conversations that stay with you long after the recording ends. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I went this deep into photography, not just as a craft, but as a human experience. We talked about the creative process, how photography becomes a bridge between people, and why connection often matters more than technique.We explored what it truly means to see someone, how trust is built in front of the camera, and how authenticity shapes both personal work and commercial success. We also dove into business and marketing, not from a surface level perspective, but through the lens of purpose, intention, and long term thinking.And yes, we could not avoid a meaningful discussion about AI. Not as a threat, not as hype, but as a tool that challenges photographers to think deeper about their identity, value, and direction in a rapidly changing industry.If you are tired of conversations focused only on lighting setups, camera gear, and technical checklists, this episode is for you. This is a discussion about photography as a language, about growth as a creative, and about staying human in an industry that is constantly evolving.Grab a coffee, slow down, and allow yourself to listen to a conversation that goes beyond photography, and straight into why we do what we do.►https://www.tomtrevatt.com►https://www.instagram.com/tomtrevatt.photography/►https://www.tomtrevatt.com/education►https://www.youtube.com/@UCY4mnNEBGzhfFrxLBr1mrig ► Subscribe to My Channel Here: http://www.youtube.com/c/RafalWegiel​​​ ►Website: http://www.rafalwegiel.com​​​ ►Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rafalwegiel​​​ ►Twitter: https://twitter.com/rafalwegiel​​​ ►Instagram: http://instagram.com/rafalwegiel​​​ ►Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rafalwegiel

Christmas week can be beautiful and magical, and also… heavy, chaotic, and emotionally exhausting. Today's episode isn't about protein targets, perfect workouts, or “balancing out” desserts. It's about making your fitness a VIBE, and something that supports you (instead of draining you). This year stretched me in ways I never expected. From serious health issues to scary moments with my kids, unexpected losses, and being forced to slow down when I didn't want to, 2025 asked more of me than most years EVER have.Honestly? I did the bare f*cking minimum with my fitness for long stretches of time. Not because I didn't care, but because that's all I had.If you're in a similar season where all YOU can do right now is the bare minimum, that is still enough! This week, your effort might look smaller, but your intention gets to be BIGGER. It's not about pushing harder - it's about showing up softer, and in a way that truly supports you in this season.Episode recap:Why your Christmas week doesn't need perfect workouts or rigid rulesMy reflection on an incredibly challenging year + how this impacted my fitnessWhy the bare f*cking minimum IS enoughPrioritizing your atmosphere over workouts3 ways to romanticize your fitness during the holidaysWhy your biggest fitness progress isn't always physicalLinks/Resources:Ep. 220 | Romanticizing Your Fitness: Softness, Intention & Connection This Holiday SeasonGrab your FREE Body Recomp Meal Prep and get the UFYF NewsletterListen to the Girls with Opinions PodcastJoin FIT CLUB, my monthly membership with workouts you can do at home or the gymPRIVATE COACHING is my 1:1 program (choose 3 or 6 month option)Connect with me on Instagram @kristycastillofit and @unfuckyourfitnesspodcast so we can keep this conversation going-be sure to tag me in your posts and stories!Join my FREE Facebook group, Unf*ck Your FitnessClick HERE for my favorite fitness & life things!Send me a text with episode ideas or just to say hi! Support the show

Before you set a single new goal, I want to invite you to pause. In this episode of The Modern High Performer, I'm guiding you through a thoughtful end‑of‑year reflection process designed to help you make sense of the last 12 months honestly, without judgment, and without the pressure to "spin" everything into growth. Thank you to Clay & Vine for Sponsoring this Episode  Inquire Here for In-Person or Virtual Support https://clayandvineinteriors.com/contact   I share five reflection prompts I use personally and with coaching clients to surface what actually mattered this year, what quietly drained you, and what's ready to change. I also open up about my own moments of tension, growth, and recalibration especially around work, family, expectations, and connection. This isn't about squeezing meaning out of every hard moment. It's about clarity. It's about giving yourself permission to evolve before you decide what's next. I would encourage you to grab a pen and paper to journal on these questions: What looked good on paper but didn't feel good in real life? What has been the hardest part of the year for me? And what did you learn from it? Where do you need to stop comparing and performing? Who did I let see the real version of me this year? Where have I been strong, but not alone? What permission do I need to give myself before I set goals for the next year? If you're feeling the pull to do things differently in the year ahead, this conversation will help you slow down, take stock, and move forward with intention. Here are the some great resources I wanted to share with you: Apply for 1:1 Coaching https://www.mollyasplin.com/subscribe molly@mollyasplin.com Follow Me on Instagram Growth Day App - 7 Day Free Trial  Energize - My Favorite Pre-Workout Supplement code MOLLYA3BODI for 15% off Personality Isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy   Are you looking to improve performance and team effectiveness across your team? Book A Team Effectiveness Consult Here   If this message resonated with you, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a rating and review—it helps the show reach more high achievers who are ready to do life and work differently.   And if you're listening today, take a screenshot of this episode & tag me on Instagram @molly.asplin so I can personally thank you and cheer you on!

Episode SummaryJoin Adam Coelho for a gentle guided meditation focused on the transformative practice of starting again. This 10-minute meditation guides you through mindful breathing, present moment awareness, and the powerful reminder that no matter how many times your mind wanders, you always have the ability to begin fresh with just one breath.This practice emphasizes self-compassion and the understanding that distraction isn't a failure—it's simply an opportunity to return to the present moment. The meditation concludes with a gratitude practice, inviting you to connect with something you're grateful for and feel that appreciation throughout your body.Perfect for both beginners and experienced meditators looking for a reminder that starting again is always available, anywhere, anytime.What You'll PracticeBreath awareness: Finding your home base in the sensations of breathingNon-judgmental awareness: Meeting your experience with openness, kindness, and curiosityThe art of beginning again: Recognizing when attention has wandered and gently returning to the presentGratitude practice: Cultivating appreciation and letting it infuse your entire beingAccessibility: Understanding that this practice is available with just one mindful breathKey TakeawaysMeditation isn't about never getting distracted—it's about noticing when you've wandered and choosing to come backEach in-breath is a new beginning; each out-breath is a chance to let goThe ability to start again applies not just to meditation, but to life more broadlyWhen you notice your mind has wandered, you're already back—simply choose to begin againGratitude can be a full-body experience that infuses every cellThis practice is accessible anywhere, anytime, with just one conscious breathResources MentionedMindful Fire Envisioning Guide: mindfulfire.org/start - Download this free 10-minute guide to craft a clear and inspiring vision for your life

We love a good strategy here at Entrepreneur School, but what happens when the only plan is to just… wing it?Honestly, this is one of the main reasons I started this show—to have real, unfiltered conversations about what it actually takes to build a business and a family at the same time. And let me tell you, it's never a perfectly executed 5-step plan.Today, I'm talking to Jessica Lamb, host of the Mama Making podcast and founder of Collabs Creative. She's in the thick of it with a young son, and she gets brutally honest about operating without a roadmap, ditching the comparison game, and redefining what success even means.This episode is a permission slip to let your journey be messy. We talk about everything from leveraging ADHD and procrastination to your advantage, to the complicated feelings that come up when your partner is the primary breadwinner.If you've ever felt like you're making it up as you go while everyone else on Instagram has it figured out, this one's for you.You'll learn:How to embrace flexibility as a superpower when your schedule is dictated by sick days and nap times.Why working with your unique brain (procrastination and all) is more effective than forcing someone else's systems.The truth about comparison culture and how to put on “blinders” to stay on your own path, at your own pace.How to redefine your value beyond the dollar amount you bring in (because your contribution is so much more than that).The strategic power of starting small to build a sustainable foundation without burning yourself out.Why your version of success is the only one that matters—whether that's hitting seven figures or making it to the school field trip.

We love a good strategy here at Entrepreneur School, but what happens when the only plan is to just… wing it?Honestly, this is one of the main reasons I started this show—to have real, unfiltered conversations about what it actually takes to build a business and a family at the same time. And let me tell you, it's never a perfectly executed 5-step plan.Today, I'm talking to Jessica Lamb, host of the Mama Making podcast and founder of Collabs Creative. She's in the thick of it with a young son, and she gets brutally honest about operating without a roadmap, ditching the comparison game, and redefining what success even means.This episode is a permission slip to let your journey be messy. We talk about everything from leveraging ADHD and procrastination to your advantage, to the complicated feelings that come up when your partner is the primary breadwinner.If you've ever felt like you're making it up as you go while everyone else on Instagram has it figured out, this one's for you.You'll learn:How to embrace flexibility as a superpower when your schedule is dictated by sick days and nap times.Why working with your unique brain (procrastination and all) is more effective than forcing someone else's systems.The truth about comparison culture and how to put on “blinders” to stay on your own path, at your own pace.How to redefine your value beyond the dollar amount you bring in (because your contribution is so much more than that).The strategic power of starting small to build a sustainable foundation without burning yourself out.Why your version of success is the only one that matters—whether that's hitting seven figures or making it to the school field trip.

Adam, Russ, and Nathan catch up as we move into Thanksgiving week. Adam is in Albuquerque, New Mexico as he navigates the locals obsession with hatch chili on everything. Russ and Nathan go on a tangent about Attack on Titan, as Nathan is slowly watching that show at his leisure. Honestly, this is our Seinfeld episode, an episode about nothing except us sharing cool shows to check out. Will you join us for this week's episode of Outdated References Podcast? --Nathan Apple Podcast Spotify iHeartRadio Libsyn Youtube

In this live episode, Tricia Eastman joins to discuss Seeding Consciousness: Plant Medicine, Ancestral Wisdom, Psychedelic Initiation. She explains why many Indigenous initiatory systems begin with consultation and careful assessment of the person, often using divination and lineage-based diagnostic methods before anyone enters ceremony. Eastman contrasts that with modern frameworks that can move fast, rely on short trainings, or treat the medicine as a stand-alone intervention. Early Themes: Ritual, Preparation, and the Loss of Container Eastman describes her background, including ancestral roots in Mexico and her later work at Crossroads Ibogaine in Mexico, where she supported early ibogaine work with veterans. She frames her broader work as cultural bridging that seeks respect rather than fetishization, and assimilation into modern context rather than appropriation. Early discussion focuses on: Why initiatory traditions emphasize purification, preparation, and long timelines Why consultation matters before any high-intensity medicine work How decades of training shaped traditional initiation roles Why people can get harmed when they treat medicine as plug and play Core Insights: Alchemy, Shadow, and Doing the Work A major throughline is Eastman's critique of the belief that a psychedelic alone will erase trauma. She argues that shadow work remains part of the human condition, and that healing is less about a one-time fix and more about building capacity for relationship with the unconscious. Using alchemical language, she describes "nigredo" as fuel for the creative process, not as something to eliminate forever. Key insights include: Psychedelics are tools, not saviors You cannot outsource responsibility to a pill, a modality, or a facilitator Progress requires practice, discipline, and honest engagement with what arises "Healing" often shows up as obstacles encountered while trying to live and create Later Discussion and Takeaways: Iboga, Ethics, and Biocultural Stewardship Joe and Tricia move into a practical and ethically complex discussion about iboga supply chains, demand pressure, and the risks of amplifying interest without matching it with harm reduction and reciprocity. Eastman emphasizes medical screening, responsible messaging, and supporting Indigenous-led stewardship efforts. She also warns that harm can come from both under-trained modern facilitators and irresponsible people claiming traditional legitimacy. Concrete takeaways include: Treat iboga and ibogaine as high-responsibility work that demands safety protocols Avoid casual marketing that encourages risky self-administration Support Indigenous-led biocultural stewardship and reciprocity efforts Give lineage carriers a meaningful seat at the table in modern policy and clinical conversations Frequently Asked Questions Who is Tricia Eastman? Tricia Eastman is an author, facilitator, and founder of Ancestral Heart. Her work focuses on cultural bridging, initiation frameworks, and Indigenous-led stewardship. What is Seeding Consciousness about? The book examines plant medicine through initiatory traditions, emphasizing consultation, ritual, preparation, and integration rather than reductionistic models. Why does Tricia Eastman critique modern psychedelic models? She argues that many models remove the ritual container and long-form preparation that reduce risk and support deeper integration. Is iboga or ibogaine safe? With the right oversite, yes. Eastman stresses that safety depends on cardiac screening, careful protocols, and experienced oversight. She warns against informal or self-guided use. How can people support reciprocity and stewardship? She encourages donating or supporting Indigenous-led biocultural stewardship initiatives like Ancestral Heart and aligning public messaging with harm reduction. Closing Thoughts This episode makes a clear case that Tricia Eastman Seeding Consciousness is not only a book about psychedelics, but a critique of how the field is developing. Eastman argues that a successful future depends on mature containers, serious safety culture, and respectful partnership with lineage carriers, especially as interest in iboga and ibogaine accelerates. Links https://www.ancestralheart.com https://www.innertraditions.com/author/tricia-eastman Transcript Joe Moore Hello, everybody. Welcome back. Joe Moore with you again from Psychedelics Today, joined today by Tricia Eastman. Tricia, you just wrote a book called Seeding Consciousness. We're going to get into that a bunch today, but how are you today? [00:00:16.07] - Tricia Eastman I'm so good. It's exciting to be live. A lot of the podcasts I do are offline, and so it's like we're being witnessed and feels like just can feel the energy behind It's great. [00:00:31.11] - Joe Moore It's fun. It's a totally different energy than maybe this will come out in four months. This is real, and there's people all over the world watching in real-time. And we'll get some comments. So folks, if you're listening, please leave us some comments. And we'd love to chat a little bit later about those. [00:00:49.23] - Tricia Eastman I'm going to join the chat so that I can see... Wait, I just want to make sure I'm able to see the comments, too. Do I hit join the chat? [00:01:01.17] - Joe Moore Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. I can throw comments on the screen so we can see them together. [00:01:07.02] - Tricia Eastman Cool. [00:01:08.03] - Joe Moore Yeah. So it'll be fun. Give us comments, people. Please, please, please, please. Yeah, you're all good. So Tricia, I want to chat about your book. Tell us high level about your book, and then we're going to start digging into you. [00:01:22.10] - Tricia Eastman So Seeding Consciousness is the title, and I know it's a long subtitled Plant Medicine, Ancestral Wisdom, Psychedelic Initiation. And I felt like it was absolutely necessary for the times that we are in right now. When I was in Gabon in 2018, in one of my many initiations, as as an initiative, the Fung lineage of Buiti, which I've been practicing in for 11 years now, I was given the instructions. I was given the integration homework to write this book. And I would say I don't see that as this divine thing, like you were given the assignment. I think I was given the assignment because it's hard as F to write a book. I mean, it really tests you on so many levels. I mean, even just thinking about putting yourself out there from a legal perspective, and then also, does it make any sense? Will anyone buy it? And on Honestly, it's not me. It's really what I was given to write, but it's based on my experience working with several thousand people over the years. And really, the essence of it is that in our society, we've taken this reductionistic approach in psychedelics, where we've really taken out the ritual. [00:02:54.05] - Tricia Eastman Even now with the FDA trial for MDMA for PTSD. There's even conversations with a lot of companies that are moving forward, psychedelics, through the FDA process, through that pathway, that are talking about taking the therapy out. And the reality is that in these ancient initiatic traditions, they were very long, drawn out experiences with massive purification rituals, massive amounts of different types of practice in order to prepare oneself to meet the medicine. Different plants were taken, like vomatifs and different types of purification rituals were performed. And then you would go into this profound initiatic experience because the people that were working with you that were in, we call it the Nema, who gives initiations, had decades of training and experience doing these types of initiatic experiences. So if you compare that to the modern day framework, we have people that go online and get a certificate and start serving people medicine or do it in a context where maybe there isn't even an established container or facilitator whatsoever. And so really, the idea is, how can we take the essence of this ancient wisdom wisdom, like when you look at initiation, the first step is consultation, which is really going deep into the history of the individual using different types of techniques that are Indigenous technologies, such as different forms of divination, such as cowrie shell readings. [00:04:52.18] - Tricia Eastman And there's different types of specific divinations that are done in different branches of And before one individual would even go into any initiation, you need to understand the person and where they're coming from. So it's really about that breakdown of all of that, and how can we integrate elements of that into a more modern framework. [00:05:24.23] - Joe Moore Brilliant. All right. Well, thank you for that. And let's chat about you. You've got a really interesting past, very dynamic, could even call it multicultural. And you've got a lot of experience that informed this book. So how did this stuff come forward for you? [00:05:50.02] - Tricia Eastman I mean, I've never been the person to seek anything. My family on my mother's side is from Mexico, from Oaxaca, Trique, Mixtec, and Michica. And we had a long lineage of practice going back to my, at least I know from my great, great grandmother, practicing a blend of mestiza, shamanism, combining centerea and Catholicism together. So it's more of like a syncratic mestiza, mestiza being mixed tradition. And so I found it really interesting because later on, when my grandfather came to the United States, he ended up joining the military. And in being in the US, he didn't really have a place. He's very devout spiritual man, but he didn't have a place to practice this blended spiritual tradition. So the mystical aspect of it went behind. And as I started reconnecting to my ancestral lineage, this came forth that I was really starting to understand the mystical aspect of my ancestry. And interestingly, at the same time, was asked to work at Crossroads Abigain in Mexico. And it's so interesting to see that Mexico has been this melting pot and has been the place where Abigain has chosen to plant its roots, so to say, and has treated thousands of veterans. [00:07:36.28] - Tricia Eastman I got to be part of the group of facilitators back over 10 years ago. We treated the first Navy Seals with Abogaine, and that's really spurred a major interest in Abogaine. Now it's in every headline. I also got 10 I got initiated into the Fung lineage of Buiti and have really studied the traditional knowledge. I created a nonprofit back in 2019 called Ancestral Heart, which is really focused on Indigenous-led stewardship. Really, the book helps as a culmination of the decade of real-world experience of combining My husband, Dr. Joseph Barzulia. He's a psychologist. He's also a pretty well-known published researcher in Abigain and 5MEO-DMT, but also deeply spiritual and deeply in respect for the Indigenous traditions that have carried these medicines before us. So we've really been walking this complex path of world bridging between how we establish these relationships and how we bring some of these ancient knowledge systems back into the forefront, but not in a way of fetishizing them, but in a way of deeply respecting them and what we can learn, but from our own assimilation and context versus appropriation. So really, I think the body of my work is around that cultural bridging. [00:09:31.07] - Joe Moore That's brilliant. And yeah, there's some really fun stuff I learned in the book so far that I want to get into later. But next question is, who is your intended audience here? Because this is an interesting book that could hit a few categories, but I'm curious to hear from you. [00:09:49.02] - Tricia Eastman It's so funny because when I wrote the book, I wasn't thinking, oh, what's my marketing plan? What's my pitch? Who's my intended audience? Because it was my homework, and I knew I needed to write the book, and maybe that was problematic in the sense that I had to go to publishers and have a proposal. And then I had to create a formula in hindsight. And I would say the demographic of the book mirrors the demographic of where people are in the psychedelic space, which It's skewed slightly more male, although very female. I think sex isn't necessarily important when we're thinking about the level of trauma and the level of spiritual healing and this huge deficit that we have in mental health, which is really around our disconnection from our true selves, from our heart, from our souls, from this idea of of what Indigenous knowledge systems call us the sacred. It's really more of an attitude of care and presence. I'm sure we could give it a different name so that individuals don't necessarily have any guard up because we have so much negative conditioning related to the American history of religion, which a lot of people have rejected, and some have gone back to. [00:11:37.06] - Tricia Eastman But I think we need to separate it outside of that. I would say the demographic is really this group of I would say anywhere from 30 to 55 male females that are really in this space where maybe they're doing some of the wellness stuff. They're starting to figure some things out, but it's just not getting them there. And when something happens in life, for example, COVID-19 would be a really great example. It knocks them off course, and they just don't have the tools to find that connection. And I would say it even spans across people that do a lot of spiritual practice and maybe are interested in what psychedelics can do in addition to those practices. Because when we look at my view on psychedelics, is they fit within a whole spectrum of wellness and self-care and any lineage of spiritual practice, whether it's yoga or Sufism or Daoist tradition. But they aren't necessarily the thing that... I think there's an over focus on the actual substance itself and putting it on a pedestal that I think is problematic in our society because it goes back to our religious context in the West is primarily exoteric, meaning that we're seeking something outside of ourselves to fulfill ourselves. [00:13:30.29] - Tricia Eastman And so I think that when we look at psychedelic medicines as this exoteric thing versus when we look at initiatory traditions are about inward and direct experience. And all of these spiritual practices and all of these modalities are really designed to pull you back into yourself, into having a direct relationship with yourself and direct experience. And I feel like the minute that you are able to forge that connection, which takes practice and takes discipline, then you don't need to necessarily look at all these other tools outside of yourself. It's like one of my favorite analogies is the staff on the Titanic were moving the furniture around as it was sinking, thinking that they might save the boat from sinking by moving the furniture around. I think that's how we've been with a lot of ego-driven modalities that aren't actually going into the full unconscious, which is where we need to go to have these direct experiences. Sorry for the long answer, but it is for everybody, and it's not just about psychedelics. Anyone can take something from this doing any spiritual work. But we talk a lot about the Indigenous philosophy and how that ties in alongside with spiritual practice and more of this inner way of connecting with oneself and doing the work. [00:15:21.22] - Tricia Eastman And I think also really not sugar coating it in the sense that the psychedelics aren't going to save us. They're not going to cure PTSD. Nothing you take will. It's you that does the work. And if you don't do the work, you're not going to have an 87 % success rate with opioid use disorder or whatever it is, 60 something % for treatment-resistant depression or whatever. It's like you have to do the work. And so we can't keep putting the power in the modality reality or the pill. [00:16:03.18] - Joe Moore Yeah, that makes sense. So you did an interesting thing here with this book, and it was really highlighting aspects of the alchemical process. And people don't necessarily have exposure. They hear the words alchemy. I get my shoulders go up when I hear alchemizing, like transmutation. But it's a thing. And how do we then start communicating this from Jung? I found out an interesting thing recently as an ongoing student. Carl Jung didn't necessarily have access to all that many manuscripts. There's so many alchemical manuscripts available now compared to what he had. And as a result, our understanding of alchemy has really evolved. Western alchemy, European alchemy, everybody. Perhaps Kmetic, too. I don't know. You could speak to that more. I don't keep track of what's revealed in Egypt. So it's really interesting to present that in a forward way? How has it been received so far? Or were you nervous to present this in this way? [00:17:25.10] - Tricia Eastman I mean, honestly, I think the most important The important thing is that in working with several thousand people over the years, people think that taking the psychedelic and the trauma is going to go away. It's always there. I mean, we We archetypically will have the shadow as long as we need the shadow to learn. And so even if we go into a journey and we transcend it, it's still there. So I would say that the The feedback has been really incredible. I mean, the people that are reading... I mean, I think because I'm weaving so many different, complex and deep concepts into one book, it might be a little harder to market. And I think the biggest bummer was that I was really trying to be respectful to my elders and not say anything in the title about Iboga and Abigain, even though I talk a lot about it in the book, and it's such a hot topic, it's really starting to take off. But the people that have read it really consider it. They really do the work. They do the practices in the book, and I'm just getting really profound feedback. So that's exciting to me because really, ultimately, alchemy... [00:18:55.22] - Tricia Eastman Yeah, you're right. It gets used Used a lot in marketing lingo and sitting in the depth of the tar pit. For me, when I was in Gabon, I remember times where I really had to look at things that were so dark in my family history that I didn't even realize were mine until later connected to my lineage. And the dark darkness connected to that and just feeling that and then knowing really the truth of our being is that we aren't those things. We're in this process of changing and being, and so nothing is is fixed, but there is a alchemical essence in just learning to be with it. And so not always can we just be with something. And and have it change, but there are many times that we can actually just be with those parts of ourselves and be accepting, where it's not like you have to have this intellectualized process It's just like, first you have the negrado, then you tune into the albeda, and you receive the insights, and you journal about it, and da, da, da, da, da Action, Mars aspect of it, the rubeda of the process. It's not like that at all. [00:20:44.15] - Tricia Eastman It's really that the wisdom that comes from it because you're essentially digesting black goo, which is metaphoric to the oil that we use to power all of society that's pulled deep out of the Earth, and it becomes gold. It becomes... And really, the way I like to think of it is like, in life, we are here to create, and we are not here to heal ourselves. So if you go to psychedelic medicine and you want to heal yourself, you're going to be in for... You're just going to be stuck and burnt out because that's not what we're here to do as human beings, and you'll never run out of things to heal. But if you You think of the negrado in alchemy as gasoline in your car. Every time you go back in, it's like refilling your gas tank. And whatever you go back in for as you're moving in the journey, it's almost like that bit of negrado is like a lump of coal that's burning in the gas tank. And that gets you to the next point to which there's another thing related to the creative process. So it's like As you're going in that process, you're going to hit these speed bumps and these obstacles in the way. [00:22:07.29] - Tricia Eastman And those obstacles in the way, that's the healing. So if you just get in the car in the human vehicle and you drive and you continue to pull out the shadow material and face it, you're going to keep having the steam, but not just focus on it, having that intention, having that connection to moving forward in life. And I hate to use those words because they sound so growth and expansion oriented, which life isn't always. It's evolutionary and deevolutionary. It's always in spirals. But ultimately, you're in a creative process would be the best way to orient it. So I think when we look at alchemy from that standpoint, then it's productive. Effective. Otherwise, it sounds like some brand of truffle salt or something. [00:23:09.12] - Joe Moore Yeah, I think it's a... If people want to dig in, amazing. It's just a way to describe processes, and it's super informative if you want to go there, but it's not necessary for folks to do the work. And I like how you framed it quite a bit. So let's see. There is one bit, Tricia, that my ears really went up on this one point about a story about Actually, let me do a tangent for you real quick, and then we're going to come back to this story. So are you familiar with the tribe, the Dogon, in Africa? Of course. Yeah. So they're a group that looks as though they were involved in Jewish and/or Egyptian traditions, and then ended up on the far side of like, what, Western Africa, far away, and had their own evolution away from Egypt and the Middle East. Fascinating. Fascinating stories, fascinating astronomy, and much more. I don't know too much about the religion. I love their masks. But this drew an analogy for me, as you were describing that the Buiti often have stories about having lineage to pre-dynastic Egyptian culture. I guess we'll call it that for now, the Kometic culture. [00:24:44.23] - Joe Moore I had not heard that before. Shame on me because I haven't really read any books about Buiti as a religion or organization, or anything to this point. But I found that really interesting to know that now, at least I'm aware of two groups claiming lineage to that ancient world of magic. Can you speak about that at all for us? Yeah. [00:25:09.24] - Tricia Eastman So first off, there really aren't any books talking about that. Some of the things I've learned from elders that I've spoke with and asked in different lineages in Masoco and in Fong Buiti, there's a few things. One, We lived in many different eras. Even if you go into ancient texts of different religions, creation stories, and biblical stories, they talk about these great floods that wiped out the planet. One of the things that Atum talks about, who is one of my Buiti fathers who passed a couple years ago, is Is the understanding that before we were in these different areas, you had Mu or Lumaria, you had Atlantis, and then you had our current timeline. And the way that consciousness was within those timelines was very different and the way the Earth was. You had a whole another continent called Atlantis that many people, even Plato, talks about a very specific location of. And what happened, I believe during that time period, Africa, at least the Saharan band of the desert was much more lush, and it was a cultural melting pot. So if you think about, for example, the Pygmy tribes, which are in Equatorial Africa, they are the ones that introduced Iboga to the Buiti. [00:27:08.08] - Tricia Eastman If you look at the history of ancient Egypt, what I'm told is that the Pygmies lived in Pharaonic Egypt, all the way up until Pharaonic Egypt. And there was a village. And if you look on the map in Egypt, you see a town called Bawiti, B-A-W-I-T-I. And that is the village where they lived. And I have an interesting hypothesis that the God Bess, if you look at what he's wearing, it's the exact same to a T as what the Pygmies wear. And the inspiration for which a lot of the Buiti, because they use the same symbology, because each part of the outfit, whether it's the Mocingi, which is like this animal skin, or the different feathers, they use the parrot feather as a symbology of speech and communication, all of these things are codes within the ceremony that were passed along. And so when you look at Bess, he's wearing almost the exact same outfit that the Pygmies are wearing and very similar to if you see pictures of the ceremonies of Misoko or Gonde Misoko, which I would say is one of the branches of several branches, but that are closer to the original way of Buiti of the jungle, so closer to the way the Pygmies practice. [00:28:59.16] - Tricia Eastman So If you look at Bess, just to back my hypothesis. So you look at Neteru. Neteru were the... They called them the gods of Egypt, and they were all giant. And many say the word nature actually means nature, but they really represented the divine qualities of nature. There's best. Look at him. And a lot of the historians said he's the God of Harmeline and children and happiness. I think he's more than the God of Harmeline, and I think that the Pygmies worked with many different plants and medicines, and really the ultimate aspect of it was freedom. If you think about liberation, like the libation, number one, that's drunkiness. Number two, liberation, you of freeing the joyous child from within, our true nature of who we are. You look at every temple in Egypt, and you look at these giant statues, and then you have this tiny little pygmy God, and there's no other gods that are like Bess. He's one of a kind. He's in his own category. You've You've got giant Hathor, you've got giant Thoth, you've got giant Osiris, Isis, and then you've got little tiny Bess. And so I think it backs this hypothesis. [00:30:48.27] - Tricia Eastman And my understanding from practitioners of Dogon tradition is that they also believe that their ancestors came from Egypt, and they definitely have a lot of similarity in the teachings that I've seen and been exposed to just from here. I mean, you can... There's some more modern groups, and who's to know, really, the validity of all of it. But there are some, even on YouTube, where you can see there's some more modern Dogon temples that are talking in English or English translation about the teachings, and they definitely line up with Kamehdi teachings. And so my hypothesis around that is that the Dogon are probably most likely pygmy descendants as, And the pygmy were basically run out of Bawiti because there was jealousy with the priest, because there was competition, because all of the offerings that were being made in the temple, there was a lot of power, connected to each of the temples. And there was competitiveness even amongst the different temples, lining the Nile and all of that, of who was getting the most offerings and who was getting the most visits. And so the Pygmies essentially were run out, and they migrated, some of them migrated south to Gabon and Equatorial Africa. [00:32:43.07] - Tricia Eastman And then If you think about the physical changes that happened during these planetary catastrophes, which we know that there had been more than one based on many historical books. So that whole area went through a desertification process, and the Equatorial rainforest remained. So it's highly likely even that Iboga, at one point, grew in that region as well. [00:33:18.00] - Joe Moore Have you ever seen evidence of artwork depicting Iboga there in Egypt? [00:33:24.17] - Tricia Eastman There are several different death temples. I'm trying to remember the name of the exact one that I went to, but on the columns, it looked like Iboga trees that were carved into the columns. And I think what's interesting about this... So Seychet is the divine scribe, the scribe of Egyptian wisdom. And she was basically, essentially the sidekick of Thoth. Thoth was who brought a lot of the ancient wisdom and people like Pythagoras and many of the ancient philosophers in Roman times went and studied in a lot of these Thoth lineage mystery schools. When you look at the the river of the Nile on the east side, east is the energy liturgy of initiation. It's always like if you go into a sweat lodge or if you see an ancient temple, usually the doorway is facing the east. West is where the sun sets, and so that's the death. And what's interesting about that is that it was on the west side in the death temple that you would see these aboga plants. But also Seixat was the one who was the main goddess depicted in the hieroglyphs, and there was other hieroglyphs. I mean, if you look at the hieroglyphs of Seixat, it looks like she has a cannabis leaf above her head, and a lot of people have hypothesized that, that it's cannabis. [00:35:16.03] - Tricia Eastman Of course, historians argue about that. And then she's also carrying a little vessel that looks like it has some mushrooms in it. And obviously, she has blue Lotus. Why would she be carrying around blue Lotus and mushrooms? I don't know. It sounds like some initiation. [00:35:36.19] - Joe Moore Yeah, I love that. Well, thanks so much for going there with me. This photo of Seixet. There's some good animations, but everybody just go look at the temple carvings picturing this goddess. It's stunning. And obviously, cannabis. I think it's hard to argue not. I've seen all these like, mushroom, quote, unquote, mushroom things everywhere. I'm like, Yeah, maybe. But this is like, Yes, that's clear. [00:36:06.27] - Tricia Eastman And if you look at what she's wearing, it's the exact same outfit as Bess, which is classic Basically, how the medicine woman or medicine man or what you would call shaman, the outfit that the healers would wear, the shamans or the oracles, those of the auracular arts, different forms of divination would wear. So if you really follow that and you see, Oh, what's Isis wearing? What's Hathor wearing? What's Thoth wearing? You can tell she's very specifically the healer. And it's interesting because they call her the divine scribe. So she's actually downloading, my guess is she's taking plants and downloading from the primordial. [00:37:02.00] - Joe Moore Well, okay. Thanks for bringing that up. That was a lovely part of your book, was your... There's a big initiation sequence, and then you got to go to this place where you could learn many things. Could you speak to that a little bit? And I hope that's an okay one to bring up. [00:37:22.22] - Tricia Eastman Are you talking about the time that I was in initiation and I went to the different ashrams, the different realms in, like Yogananda calls them astral schools that you go and you just download? It seemed like astral schools, but it seemed like it was a Bwiti initiation, where you were in silence for three days, and then Yeah, that one. So there were several different... I mean, I've done seven official initiations, and then I've had many other initiatic experiences. And I would say this one was incredible. Incredibly profound because what it showed me first was that all of the masters of the planet, it was showing me everyone from Kurt Cobain to Bob Marley to Einstein, all the people that had some special connection to an intelligence that was otherworldly, that they were essentially going to the same place, like they were visiting the same place, and they would go. And so the first thing I noticed was that I recognized a lot of people, and current, I'm not going I don't want to say names of people, but I recognize people that are alive today that I would say are profound thinkers that were going to these places as well. [00:38:57.05] - Tricia Eastman And interestingly, then I was taken into one of the classrooms, and in the classroom, this one, specifically, it showed me that you could download any knowledge instantaneously That essentially, having a connection to that school allowed you to download music or understand very complex ideas ideas of mathematics or physics or science that would take people like lifetimes to understand. So it was essentially showing this. And a lot of people might discredit that, that that might be a specific... That we as humans can do that. Well, I'm not saying that it's not that. I don't I don't want to say that it's anything. But what I can say is that I have definitely noticed the level of access that I have within my consciousness. And also what I notice with the masters of Bwiti, specifically in terms of the level of intelligence that they're accessing and that it's different. It's got a different quality to it. And so it was a really profound teaching. And one of the things, too, that I've learned is I use it to help me learn specific things. I don't know if I can give a positive testimonial, but I am learning French. [00:40:55.00] - Tricia Eastman And I noticed when I was in Aspen at the Abigain meeting, and I was with Mubeiboual, who speaks French, I started saying things French that I didn't even realize that I knew to say. I've had these weird moments where I'm actually using this tool And I'm also using it. I have a Gabonese harp. I don't know if you can see it up on the shelf over there. But I also went and asked for some help with downloading some assistance in the harp, then we'll see how that goes. [00:41:38.17] - Joe Moore Yeah. So that's brilliant. I'm thinking of other precedent for that outside of this context, and I can think of a handful. So I love that, like savant syndrome. And then there's a classic text called Ars Notoria that helps accelerate learning, allegedly. And then there's a number of other really interesting things that can help us gain these bits of wisdom and knowledge. And it does feel a little bit like the Dogon. The story I get is the receiving messages from the dog star, and therefore have all sorts of advanced information that they shouldn't we call it. Yeah. Yeah, which is fascinating. We have that worldwide. I think there's plenty of really interesting stuff here. So what I appreciated, Tricia, about how you're structuring your book, or you did structure your book, is that it it seems at the same time, a memoir, on another hand, workbook, like here are some exercises. On the other hand, like here's some things you might try in session. I really appreciated that. It was like people try to get really complicated when we talk about things like IFS. I'm like, well, you don't necessarily have to. You could. Or is this just a human thing, a human way to look at working with our parts? [00:43:20.15] - Joe Moore I don't know. Do you have any thoughts about the way you were approaching this parts work in your book versus how complicated some people make it feel? [00:43:30.00] - Tricia Eastman Yeah. I find that this is just my personal opinion, and no way to discredit Richard Schwartz's work. But parts work has existed in shamanism since forever. When we really look at even in ancient Egypt, Issus, she put Osiris act together. That was the metaphorical story of soul retrieval, which is really the spiritual journey of us reclaiming these pieces of ourselves that we've been disconnected from a society level or individually. And within the context of parts work, it's very organic and it feels other worldly. It's not like there's ever a force where I'm in the process with someone. And a lot of times I would even go into the process with people because they weren't accustomed to how to work with Iboga or game, and so they would be stuck. And then the minute I was like, you know, Iboga, in the tradition, it's really about... It's like the game Marco Polo. It's call and response. And so you're really an active participant, and you're supposed to engage with the spirits. And so the minute that things would show up, it'd be more about like, oh, what do you see? What's coming up here? Asking questions about it, being curious. [00:45:17.07] - Tricia Eastman If you could engage with it, sometimes there's processes where you can't really engage with things at all. So everything that I'm talking about is It was organically shown up as an active engagement process that it wasn't like we were going in. There have been some where you can guide a little bit, but you never push. It might be something like, go to your house, and it being completely unattached. And if they can't go there, then obviously the psyche doesn't want to go there, but it's really an exercise to help them to connect to their soul. And then in contrast, IFS is like, let's work on these different parts and identify these different parts of ourselves. But then let's give them fixed titles, and let's continually in a non-altered state of consciousness, not when we're meditating, not when we're actively in a state where we have the plasticity to change the pathway in the unconscious mind, but we're working in the egoic mind, and we're talking to these parts of ourselves. That could be helpful in the day-to-day struggles. Let's say you have someone who has a lot of rumination or a very active mind to have something to do with that. [00:46:57.01] - Tricia Eastman But that's not going to be the end-all, be-all solution to their problem. It's only moving the deck chairs around on the Titanic because you're still working in the framework where, I'm sorry, the Titanic is still sinking, and it may or may not be enough. It may or may not produce a reliable outcome that could be connected with some level of true relief and true connection within oneself. And so I think that people just... I feel like they almost get a little too... And maybe it's because we're so isolated and lonely, it's like, Oh, now I've got parts. I'm not by myself. I've got my fire I've got my firefighter, and I've got my guardian, and all these things. And I definitely think that IFS is a really great initiator into the idea of engaging with parts of ourselves and how to talk to them. But I don't think it's... And I think doing a session here and there, for some people, can be incredibly helpful, but to all of a sudden incorporate it in like a dogma is toxic. It's dangerous. And that's what we have to be really careful of. [00:48:23.25] - Joe Moore So thank you for that. There's a complicated discussion happening at the Aspen meeting. I think I was only sitting maybe 30 feet away from you. Sorry, I didn't say hi. But the folks from Blessings of the Forest were there, and I got a chance to chat with a number of them and learn more about nuclear protocols, biopiracy, literal piracy, and smuggling, and the works. I'm curious. This is a really complicated question, and I'm sorry for a complicated question this far in. But it's like, as we talk about this stuff publicly and give it increased profile, we are de facto giving more juice and energy to black markets to pirate. We're adding fuel to this engine that we don't necessarily want to see. Cameroon has nothing left, pretty much. From what I'm told, people from Cameroon are coming in, stealing it from Cabona, bringing it back, and then shipping it out. And there's It's like a whole worldwide market for this stuff. I witnessed it. This stuff. Yeah, right? This is real. So the people, the Buiti, and certain Gabanese farmers, are now being pirated. And international demand does not care necessarily about Nagoya compliance. United States didn't sign Nagoya protocol for this biopiracy protection, but we're not the only violator of these ethics, right? [00:50:00.22] - Joe Moore It's everywhere. So how do we balance thinking about talking about IBOCA publicly, given that there's no clean way to get this stuff in the United States that is probably not pirated materials? And as far as I know, there's only one, quote unquote, Nagoya compliant place. I've heard stories that I haven't shared publicly yet, that there's other groups that are compliant, too. But it's a really interesting conversation, and I'm curious of your perspectives there. [00:50:34.04] - Tricia Eastman I mean, this is a very long, drawn-out question, so forgive me if I give you a long, drawn-out answer. [00:50:41.01] - Joe Moore Go for it. [00:50:41.26] - Tricia Eastman It's all good. So in reality, I do believe... You know the first Ebo, Abogaine, that was done in the country was experiments on eight Black prisoners at a hospital under the MK program. [00:51:01.16] - Joe Moore Pre-lutz off, we were doing Abogaine tests on people. [00:51:06.00] - Tricia Eastman Yeah, so pre-Lutz off. I have a hypothesis, although a lot of people would already know me. [00:51:12.07] - Joe Moore No, I didn't know that. Thank you for sharing that with me. [00:51:14.13] - Tricia Eastman That's great. I'll send you some stuff on that. But the Aboga wanted to be here. The Abogaine wanted to be here. I think it's a complex question because on one side of the coin, you have the spirit of plants, which are wild and crazy sometimes. And then you have the initiatory traditions, which create a scaffolding to essentially put the lightning in a bottle, so to say, so that it's less damaging. [00:51:51.13] - Joe Moore It's almost like a temple structure around it. [00:51:53.16] - Tricia Eastman I like that. Yeah. Put a temple structure around it because it's like, yeah, you can work with new nuclear energy, but you have to wear gloves, you have to do all these different safety precautions. I would say that that's why these traditions go hand in hand with the medicine. So some people might say that the agenda of Iboga and even Abogaine might be a different agenda than the Buiti. And ultimately, whether we are Indigenous or not, the Earth belongs to everyone. It's capitalism and the patriarchy that created all these borders and all these separations between people. And in reality, we still have to acknowledge what the essence of Buiti is, which is really the cause and effect relationship that we have with everything that we do. And so some people might use the term karma. And that is if you're in Abogaine clinic and you're putting a bunch of videos out online, and that's spurring a trend on TikTok, which we already know is a big thing where people are selling illegal market, iBoga, is Is any of that your responsibility? Yes. And if I was to sit down with a kogi kagaba, which are the mamus from Colombia, or if I were to sit down with a who said, Hey, let's do a divination, and let's ask some deep questions about this. [00:53:54.01] - Tricia Eastman It would look at things on a bigger perspective than just like, Oh, this person is completely responsible for this. But when we're talking about a medicine that is so intense, and when I was younger, when I first met the medicine, I first was introduced in 2013 was when I first found out about Abigain and Iboga. And in 2014, I lived with someone who lived with a 14th generation Misoko, maybe it was 10th generation Misoco in Costa Rica. And then he decided to just start serving people medicine. And he left this person paralyzed, one person that he treated for the rest of his life. And Aubrey Marcus, it was his business partner for On It, and he's publicly talked about this, about the story behind this. If you go into his older podcasts and blog posts and stuff, he talks about the situation. And the reality is that this medicine requires a massive amount of responsibility. It has crazy interactions, such as grapefruit juice, for example, and all kinds of other things. And so it's not just the responsibility towards the buiti, it's also the responsibility of, does me talking about this without really talking about the safety and the risks, encourage other people. [00:55:49.10] - Tricia Eastman One of the big problems, back in the day, I went to my first guita conference, Global Abogaine Therapy Alliance in 2016. And And then, ISEARs was debating because there was all these people buying Abogaine online and self-detoxing and literally either dying or ending up in the hospital. And they're like, should we release protocols and just give people instructions on how to do this themselves? And I was like, no, absolutely not. We need to really look at the fact that this is an initiatory tradition, that it's been practiced for thousands of that the minimum level at which a person is administering in Gabon is 10 years of training. The way that we've made up for those mistakes, or sorry, not mistakes, lack of training is that we've used medical oversight. Most of the medical oversight that we've received has been a result of mistakes that were made in the space. The first patient that MAPS treated, they killed them because they gave them way over the amount of what milligrams per kilogram of Abigain that you should give somebody. Every single mistake that was made, which a lot of them related to loss of life, became the global Abogane Therapy Safety Guidelines. [00:57:28.19] - Tricia Eastman And so we've already learned from our mistakes here. And so I think it's really important that we understand that there's that aspect, which is really the blood on our hands of if we're not responsible, if we're encouraging people to do this, and we're talking about it in a casual way on Instagram. Like, yeah, microdosing. Well, did you know there was a guy prosecuted this last year, personal trainer, who killed someone And from microdosing in Colorado, the event happened in 2020, but he just got sentenced early 2025. These are examples that we need to look at as a collective that we need. So that's one side of it. And then the other side of it is the reciprocity piece. And the reciprocity piece related to that is, again, the cause and effect. Is A Abogaine clinic talking about doing Abogaine and doing video testimonials, spurring the efforts that are actively being made in Gabon to protect the cultural lineage and to protect the medicine. The reality is every Abogaine clinic is booked out for... I heard the next year, I don't know if that's fact or fiction, but someone told me for a year, because because of all the stuff with all the celebrities that are now talking about it. [00:59:05.20] - Tricia Eastman And then on top of that, you have all these policy, all these different advocacy groups that are talking about it. Essentially, it's not going to be seven... It's going to be, I would say, seven to 10 years before something gets through the FDA. We haven't even done a phase one safety trial for any of the Abigain that's being commercialized. And even if there's some magic that happens within the Trump administration in the next two years that changes the rules to fast track it, it's not going to cut it down probably more than a year. So then you're looking at maybe six years minimum. That whole time, all that strain is being put on Gabon. And so if you're not supporting Gabon, what's happening is it's losing a battle because the movement is gaining momentum, and Gabon cannot keep up with that momentum. It's a tiny country the size of Colorado. So my belief is that anyone who's benefiting from all the hype around Iboga and Abogayne or personally benefited with healing within themselves should be giving back, either to Ancestral Heart, to Blessings of the Forest, to any group that is doing authentic Indigenous-led biocultural stewardship work. [01:00:45.21] - Joe Moore Thanks for that. It's important that we get into some detail here. I wish we had more time to go further on it. [01:00:54.17] - Tricia Eastman I'll do a quick joke. I know. I have a lot. [01:00:57.17] - Joe Moore Yes. Now do Mike Tyson. Kidding. Yeah. So what did we maybe miss that you want to make sure people hear about your book, any biocultural stuff that you want to get out there? You can go for a few more minutes, too, if you have a few things you want to say. [01:01:20.03] - Tricia Eastman I mean, really, thank you so much for this opportunity. Thank you for caring and being so passionate about the context related to Buiti, which I think is so important. I would just say that I've been working with this medicine for... I've known about it for 13 years, and I've been working with it for 11 years, and this is my life. I've devoted my life to this work, me and my husband, both. And there isn't anything greater of a blessing that it has brought in our life, but it also is it's a very saturnian energy, so it brings chaos. It brings the deepest challenges and forces you to face things that you need to face. But also on the other side of the coin, everything that I've devoted and given back in service to this work has exponentially brought blessing in my life. So again, I see the issue with people doing these shortened processes, whether it's in an Abigain clinic where you just don't have the ritualistic sacred aspects of an initiatic context and really the rituals that really help integrate and ground the medicine. But you still have this opportunity to continue to receive the blessings. [01:03:09.23] - Tricia Eastman And I really feel in our current psychedelic movement, we essentially have a Bugatti. These medicines are the most finely-tuned sports car that can do every... Even more than that, more like a spaceship. We have this incredible tool, but we're driving it in first gear. We don't even really know how to operate it. It's like, well, I guess you could say flight of the Navigator, but that was a self-driving thing, and I guess, psychedelics are self-driving. But I feel that we are discounting ourselves so greatly by not looking into our past of how these medicines were used. I really think the biggest piece around that is consulting the genuine lineage carriers like Buiti elders, like Mubu Bwal, who's the head of Maganga Manan Zembe, And giving them a seat at the head of the table, really, because there's so much I know in my tradition, about what we do to bring cardiac safety. And why is it that people aren't dying as much in Gabon as they're dying in Abigan clinics. [01:04:37.28] - Joe Moore Shots fired. All right. I like it. Thank you. Thank you for everything you've done here today, I think harm reduction is incredibly important. Let's stop people dying out there. Let's do some harm reduction language. I actually was able to sweet talk my way into getting a really cool EKG recently, which I thought really great about. If you can speak clinician, you can go a long way sometimes. [01:05:11.20] - Tricia Eastman Yeah. Oh, no, go ahead. Sorry. [01:05:15.17] - Joe Moore No, that's all. That's all. So harm reduction is important. How do we keep people safe? How do we keep healing people? And thank you for all your hard work. [01:05:27.22] - Tricia Eastman Thank you. I really appreciate it. We're all figuring it out. No one's perfect. So I'm not trying to fire any shots at anybody. I'm just like, Guys, please listen. We need to get in right relationship with the medicine. And we need to include these stakeholders. And on the other side of the coin, I just want to add that there's a lot of irresponsible, claimed traditional practitioners that are running retreat centers in Mexico and Costa Rica and other places that are also causing a lot of harm, too. So the medical monitoring is definitely, if you're going to do anything, Because these people don't have the training, the worst thing you could do is not have someone going in blind that doesn't have training and not have had an EKG and all that stuff. But we've got a long way to go, and I'm excited to help support in a productive way, all coming together. And that's what me and Joseph have been devoted to. [01:06:45.02] - Joe Moore Brilliant. Tricia Eastman, thank you so much. Everybody should go check out your book Seeding Consciousness out now. The audiobook's lovely, too. Thank you so much for being here. And until next time. [01:07:00.14] - Tricia Eastman Thank you.    

Honestly, our thoughts and feelings can be wrong, mistaken and misled. Let us be warned about what we think and how we feel when it comes to what God has said.

Honestly, I Think We Just Need Jesus!Acts 2:40 “And he testified with many other words and exhorted them, saying, 'Save yourselves from this crooked generation.”I chose this episode to replay for you today for two reasons. The first is because if you are listening to this on the day I released it, then we celebrate Jesus' coming into the world in just four days, and we need Jesus more than ever! The second is because there was a loss in our family last Thursday, and so many people are hurting, and they just need Jesus right now to help them through it.  There is a song that I have heard on the radio more and more recently, and these last few days, it has been running repeatedly in my mind. I can't seem to get it out of my head. I am not sure I want to get it out of my head, as the words that are running through my head are. Honestly, I think we need Jesus by Terrian. Since I can't seem to shake this song, and then I read the verse above this morning, I think the Lord wants me to share it with you. I will place a link for the song in the show notes, as she does a much better job singing it than I do. I also love that she is young and yet can still see that we need more Jesus. I will go over the lyrics of the song with you today.The song starts with:I got a front-row seat to the madnessI pick up my phone every mornin' out of habitI've been fiendin' for the drama, yeah, I said itI'm addicted to the rush, need a medicHow many of us pick up our phones or turn on the news first thing when we wake up? How many of us want to know what is going on in the world before we even stop and spend our time with God? I use my phone for an alarm, so I would turn off my alarm, and then I would check my messages, emails, and Facebook before I would sit down with the Lord and spend time with Him. I have gotten better; now, I just check my messages, mostly to make sure my kids got home safely. Sometimes I still check my emails, but I am getting better and usually save that for later.I love how the songwriter points out that we usually pick up our phones out of habit. This isn't just the first thing in the morning. We do this all throughout the day. I bet we all spend more time than we would like on our phones. I also like how they bring our attention to the fact that we are “Fiendin' for the drama” and “addicted to the rush.” It seems we are drawn to the conflict and the drama more than the good things that are happening. I don't know if that is because we crave drama or because that is all the news tends to show us. Either way, there is good and bad going on in the world, and it is up to us to choose which we seek out and focus on.The song goes on to say:When I take a step back, I can see itAll the pain, all the fear we've been feelin'Losin' sight of the thing that we're needin'That we're needin' This is a great reminder that sometimes we need to take a step back. When we do, we see that we are focusing on all of our pain and fear that we are feeling instead of focusing on the one who can take all that pain and fear away. When we watch the news or listen to all that is going on in the world, we tend to get overwhelmed. We can also start to feel a sense of hopelessness. We can feel a sense that the world is going crazy, and there is nothing we can do about it. However, we are never hopeless because we are children of God, and we can always turn to Him, and He can save us. There is nothing too hard for God to handle.Next, the song says:Honestly, I think we just need JesusHonestly, I think we just need JesusHave we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds?What used to be wrong, we say that it's rightHonestly, I think we just need Jesus This is the part that gets stuck in my head. I can't think of a truer statement. I can see how our country is falling apart because we keep removing God from more and more things. This country was founded with God. He was a part of the government; yes, Church and State were separate, and yet God and State weren't. God was invited into the Constitution; he was invited into the pledge of allegiance. He was invited into our courtrooms. God was welcome everywhere. Now, it seems He is welcome nowhere.I also love how the song says, “Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds? What used to be wrong, we say that it's right.” We have all thought this for a long time now, and it is nice to hear it in a song, so we know we aren't the only ones who think it. This world does seem to have gone mad, and it does seem like we are all losing our minds. Some of the things that seem to be ok in the world today still shock me.  I think this song points out very real and honest questions. Have we all gone mad? Have we all lost our minds? Take a good, long look in the mirrorSearch my heart and soul, make it clearerHelp me take your love, trade the bitterLeave it in the dust, help me leave it in the dust, Lord I think it would be a great idea if we all stopped and took a good look in the mirror. What are we doing? Not what is the world doing, but what are we doing? Are we staying true to God in this crazy world? Are we staying above all the drama and walking in the light of Christ? Are we showing love and hope to everyone we meet? We are all called to be “little Christs” to all we meet. Are we doing so? Are we loving everyone, even those who aren't like us? Even those who aren't living their lives the way we think they should? Even those whom we don't like. God said to love our enemies. Are we doing that?The next line says, “Search my heart and soul, make it clearer.” Do we want God to search our hearts and souls? What would He find? I do like how it says to make it clearer. With all that is going on in this world, and all this world says is ok, the water we wade into can get muddy. I don't think the world makes it easy or clear how we should live our lives. We need to focus on God and ask God to help make it clear to us what He wants from us and how He wants us to live.It also says, “Help me take your love, trade the bitter. Leave it in the dust, help me leave it in the dust, Lord.” It can be easy to become bitter. We live in a broken world, and people offend us all the time. Things aren't fair, and sometimes good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. This can make us bitter. We need God to come in and replace our bitterness with His love. We need His help to walk away from the bitter and leave it in the dust.  We've been preachin', we've been drinkin' in the vanity (in the vanity)Now it's got us questionin' our sanity (sanity)And we wonder how we get all this anxietyIt's clear to me Yep, I think we have all probably questioned our sanity at some point over the last few years. I definitely think there is a lot of vanity in this day and age as well. With everyone having phones and taking photos every moment of every day, we have become obsessed with how we look and what we have. We want to make sure our life looks as good online as everyone else's life does. This leads us to do and say things that aren't always true. We act online like our lives are perfect, and yet so many of our children and adults are hurting inside, but don't reach out and get help because everyone else seems like they are doing so well. This definitely makes us question our sanity because our lives are falling apart, and everyone else seems to have it all together. I love the line that says, “And we wonder how we get all this anxiety.” Exactly!! All of the things I just talked about, along with the news, the decline of our country, and the division in our country, we wonder why everyone is so anxious.After the song repeats the chorus about us just needing Jesus, it goes on to say:We turn away (we turn away)We're running back to you (oh-oh)Covered in grace (covered in grace)God, You can make us new (make us new) Yes! We are like a revolving door. We turn away from the Lord and then turn back to Him, then we turn away, and then we turn back. I love how the author of this song understands that even when we do this, we are covered in grace. God will always accept us back in. He is not angry with us that we have turned away. He is happy that we have turned back. God is always there with open arms, waiting for us to turn back to Him. God is the only one who can make us new. We may think we have done too much, we have really messed up this time, and there is no hope for us. There is always hope in the Lord. He can make us new, He can make our country new, He can make our world new. We just have to invite Him in and ask Him.The song ends by repeating the chorus. I will leave you with those words.Honestly, we need, we need You, Jesus (we need You, oh)Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds?What used to be wrong, we say that it's rightHonestly, we need, we need You, JesusOh, Jesus, Jesus, JesusWe need You, Jesus, JesusOh, JesusJesus, Jesus (we're running back)(We're running back to You) JesusWe're runnin' back to You, oh (Jesus)Yeah, Jesus, JesusMake us new Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today. Lord, we love you, and we are sorry we turned away; please help us to turn back. We are sorry our country is falling apart. Please show us how we can help to bring you back into our country. Please put in our hearts what you are calling us to do. Please help us to stop searching for the drama and start searching for you. Help us to be your love and light to others instead of spreading the drama and the worry. We love you, Lord, and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus's holy name, Amen!Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. I would like to ask a favor. I have been talking about my mentoring program for a while now. It is on Tuesday nights at 8 PM EST on Zoom, and I record it, so if you aren't able to make it live, you can watch the recording. Maybe mentoring is not for you, and yet you may know someone who might benefit from it. My favor is that you pass the information along to them. I have put a link in the show notes. You could just copy it and then paste it into a text message or email. Also, you could just direct them to the walkboldlywithjesus.com website, and the link is right on that first page. If you would like to join mentoring, but just don't have the $30 per month, please reach out to me. I don't want a lack of money to hinder the ability to grow closer to the Lord. I look forward to meeting you here again tomorrow. Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I! Have a blessed day.Today's Word from the Lord was received in July 2025 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email CatholicCharismaticPrayerGroup@gmail.com. Today's Word from the Lord is, “My spirit burns deeply within each of you, my children. It burns away the things that you no longer desire to have because you know me and you know my love. And it fires up the gifts and the graces that I give you so that you become a lamp, a light to those around you.” www.findingtruenorthcoaching.comCLICK HERE TO DONATECLICK HERE to sign up for Mentoring CLICK HERE to sign up for Daily "Word from the Lord" emailsCLICK HERE to sign up for my newsletter & receive a free audio training about inviting Jesus into your daily lifeCLICK HERE to buy my book Total Trust in God's Safe Embrace

Elf on a Shelf: Part 1 Her stalker wasn't who she thought he was; Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Honey smiled at the long line of children waiting to see Santa, flipping her phone from Google Translate back to see the information of the next little girl in line, who was looking up at her somberly with large liquid brown eyes. In her small face was a familiar mixture of fear and hope. Wonder; it was wonder in her eyes, Honey thought. Unlike the tired and jaded adults, dutifully shifting their weight from foot to foot, holding overstuffed shopping bags and all the coats of their kids as they distracted themselves on their phones, the children got more and more excited as they drew near the man in the furry red suit with white trim. Honey loved working with the children; because like them, she sometimes could still see the magic. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Norman shift uncomfortably in the painted plywood throne made for him to sit with the children and discuss their good behavior and of the wishes that they hoped would come true. Even at age 62, Norman still saw the magic with his merry bright blue eyes, but it faded when his prostate pained him. When the photographer got the shot the parent wanted, Honey walked to where most of the long line could see her as Norman flashed her a look of worshipful gratitude. The adults' faces immediately fell, knowing what was coming. "I'm afraid Santa needs to take a quick break because apparently the reindeer have begun arguing again!" Norman put his gloved hands up to his real beard, pulled a comically dismayed face, jumped up from his throne, and ran off toward the restrooms. Honey shook her head mournfully and continued, "The reindeer were all practicing their Christmas carols when Comet and Cupid couldn't decide how many times Santa checks his list in Santa Claus is Coming to Town! Does anyone here remember how it goes?" she asked, scanning the line for people game enough to help. Honey scampered back and forth along the line trying to choose among the eager volunteers, her white-trimmed, pink fur skirt flaring out around her thighs, her long legs clad in sparkly curly-toed ruby slippers and candy cane swirl stockings catching the eyes of several fathers. Suddenly, she gasped listening carefully to her headset, "Nina?" she called out. "Comet and Cupid say they will only stop arguing if 'Nina' gives the answer. Is there a 'Nina' here today? Nina?" Honey looked around at the crowd carefully until the little girl with the big brown eyes, who had been quietly waiting 57 minutes in line, gathered the courage to raise her hand. "Oh! Are you Nina?" she asked, running over and crouching down near the girl. "We just adopted her; she only speaks Portuguese," the weary woman holding her hand said quietly. Honey gasped and smiled widely, "Voc fala portugu s Nina? Maravilhosa!" she said, watching the little girl's eyes brighten excitedly. "Voc pode me dizer quantas vezes o Papai Noel verifica sua lista?" she asked, holding her microphone out to the little girl. "Duas vezes!" Nina said confidently into the mic. Honey listened carefully to her headset, concentrating, "'Duas vezes' it is! They've stopped arguing!" she announced. "But now, they want us all to sing the song in Portuguese! Nina, voc vai me ajudar a ensin -los a m sica?" she asked. Nina nodded and slowly she and Honey taught the familiar song to the crowd in a new language. As always, a hush came on the crowd when Honey began to sing. Heads raised up from forgotten phones. Vague smiles drifted onto the turning heads of passers-by in the mall as they paused in their frenetic search for gifts. It wasn't so much that Honey's voice was beautiful, though it certainly was. It was more that when Honey sang, it seemed to make the things that didn't really matter melt away. To those that believed in such things, Honey's voice was magic. When she sang, people held their breath and didn't even miss the air. Honey closed her eyes as she sang next to Nina. It was a newly acquired habit. Though she had been taught to let her eyes slowly drift over the audience, letting them make a connection with each person as she sang, she didn't do that anymore. She knew he was out there. She felt his presence frequently as she worked, but it was only when she sang that he came out into the open. She couldn't hold her voice steady when she saw him watching her, so she closed her eyes and let the magic continue for the crowd. When the song ended, Honey opened her eyes as the crowd cheered, finding his powerful form immediately as if she had been commanded to look at him. Zach. He had changed a lot in the year since he brought his sister's children through the long Santa line, drawing her almost too-large dark blue eyes to him then, as easily as he did now. After bringing his nieces and nephews through the line, he'd gone home and brought all his neighbors' kids to see Santa in five more trips, watching her the entire time. He looked at her as if he'd never seen anything like her in the world, like he couldn't believe she was real. She had loved feeling his eyes on her then, hearing his voice. She had wanted to climb up in his lap, feel his large arms curled around her, whisper to him about how good she had been that year, and of how much she hoped he would make her wishes come true. Of course, all that was before he'd told her he wanted to kill her. Zach's face looked leaner now, though his body seemed even larger, if such a thing was possible. His brooding, deep-set eyes were not merry, as they had been when children climbed his tree-like body in her line last year. They weren't nervously soft and adoring of every part of her, as they had been at their candle-lit dinner. His eyes weren't rageful or insane as you might expect from someone visiting their object of murderous hate, but rather; they were tortured, trapped. Pain and quiet desperation had taken up restless residence in the windows to his soul. Honey knew she shouldn't look at him so much, but she just wished she could understand what she had done wrong. Once the line of children and parents had cleared, it was long past the official closing time. Honey cleaned up the display and prepared it for the next day while Norman took one last lingering trip to the restroom. Her phone showed numerous messages from work friends from her other job asking where she was. The firm had planned a Christmas party at Gatsby's, a gorgeous club worthy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's glamorous hero. It was also the place where Zach had taken her on their first and last date. The Gatsby's waiter had looked stunned and confused when she shakily ordered herself an "angel shot," the code-phrase used to quietly ask bartenders or wait staff for help when you felt threatened, but after his initial shock, the waiter immediately escorted her secretly to a taxi waiting outside before Zach returned to the table. Gatsby's had saved her life; but she didn't want to go back there. After avoiding call after call from Zach, she finally answered and politely asked him never to call her again. To her surprise, he didn't. He never spoke to her again. Unless she sang, she never even saw him, but she felt his presence almost everywhere. It felt like she was haunted by him; haunted by something wonderful and magical that, inexplicably, went horribly wrong. Her phone buzzed again, the display showing that the firm's senior partner wanted to FaceTime her. Steeling herself, she answered. "Honey Lane where in the hell; oh my god lookit you!" Aaron Timberman held the phone high above his head with his long ex-basketball-player arms and Honey saw a crowd of her co-workers crowd into the picture behind him. "Um, hi sir. Sorry I'm late to;" "You're an elf!" "Um, yeah. It's a volunteer thing;" "Wait, wait, wait; you have the shoes? You know, with the; toes?" he slurred, motioning his finger in a spiral motion. Honey bit her lips and tilted the camera down her body, showing her entire costume, tilting her foot to show off the curled toe. "I'm sorry it got late tonight, but I'll be there as soon as I can get home and get changed;" Timberman looked around at the crowd surrounding him, "Guys, do we wanna see Honey Lane here at the party in some boring old Anne Klein shit, or do we want the elf?" he yelled, pointing at the screen. Behind him, almost a dozen of her co-workers began chanting "Elf, Elf, Elf, Elf!" "Get yer ass over here, Elf," Timberman ordered, poking at his screen several times before effectively ending the call. A few minutes later, Norman finally came back from the restroom and gave Honey a ride over to Gatsby's in his red SUV bedecked with a bumper sticker that read, "My other car's a SLEIGH!" Honey hopped out after getting bits of advice from Norman that would have been appropriate several decades ago. With flaming cheeks, she brushed the furry white pompom from her hat out of her face and told the smirking ma tre d which party she wanted, sighing when he grinned widely and escorted her through the middle of the main dining area, much to her horror. When the doors to the party room opened and she was greeted by another round of "Elf, Elf, Elf, Elf," she didn't feel much better. She was starving, so she headed over to the buffet and began loading up a plate with delicious-looking things on ice in shot glasses, impaled on sticks, or immersed in flames. She just spied a quiet table in a dark corner and was winding her way toward it to it to scarf down her only food since breakfast before she could be drawn into a drunken debate. That was the plan, anyway. "Hunnybaby! Lookit you! C'mon we gotta dance!" Lee James slurred to her fur-trimmed tits. With a sigh, she smiled and laid her plate down on a nearby table, promising to herself that she would eat right after enduring a dance with the favored junior partner. Unfortunately, after Lee angled her awkwardly around the dance floor, they'd drawn so much attention that everyone wanted to get pics of themselves toasting and dancing with the Christmas elf. At some point, she found herself in Timberman's arms with a glass of champagne in her hand. "Um; what?" she said, almost asking herself how she had gotten there. "I said you look lovely, tonight, Honey. Much better than in a shawl and sheath dress," he said, quickly twirling her around as they reached the edge of the dance floor. "Twirling makes my skirt go up; I'm dizzy," she murmured. A familiar dark figure flashed in the background and disappeared as Timberman turned her again. She looked around, trying to find the figure again, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Why was he there? Had she been singing again? "Well, I'll make sure nobody twirls you, my dear," he said, twirling her and smiling as her skirt flew up her long candy-cane striped legs. "The wives wouldn't like it." "I like your wife's dress Mr. Timberman; looks warm. It covers her ass when she sits, too," she slurred, frowning in confusion at the dark red drink in her hand now. Zach was frowning, and then he just looked blurry again as she swirled around. Maybe swirling made it harder for him to kill her. Why did he want to kill her? It just wasn't fair. Timberman leaned down and dipped her, "I'll make sure to give her your compliments. You know, if you like what wives wear, you should consider getting married. Lee is quite taken with you, you know," he said, stroking his hand against the soft pink velvet of her dress. Honey found herself drifting away and wandering inside her head again, thinking about Lee; he was handsome in an overly-polished way, said funny things, but they always sounded a little mean, like he wanted to be the only one laughing; and he also took her away from the food plate that just floated by on a table. It was still full. She should have eaten that food. What time was it? "He likes my boobs; and he doesn't want to kill me," she agreed eventually, surprised to find that Timberman was gone and she was dancing with Lee James again. "Well, I can't blame him for that; they're fucking perfect; just like everything else. I'm gonna come on them after you suck me off; he murmured, pulling her closer against him. "Let me take you home, Honey; penthouse view of the city; "Umm; no, that's not home; I live in the; railroad place; with the trains?" Honey explained, pointing in what she thought was the direction of the Lowertown Commons. Why did every guy think she lived with them tonight? "Sounds charming, Eliza Doolittle; you should trade up. You don't know how much I'd love twist your arms back and fuck this ass wide open over my balcony tonight," he said, reaching his hand under her skirt and greedily squeezing her bottom. "You'd like that, wouldn't you Honey? I can tell; Lee whispered, his cologne invading her head and making her queasy. "I feel sick; Honey whimpered and staggered away, trying to find the quiet table where the food was that would make her less drunk. The dance floor was confusing, though, always turning around and thumping and flashing. She leaned against a pillar until she got a better sense of where she was. She liked the pillar. It was big and strong; and it stroked her hair. "Honey; wake up, Honey. Open your mouth. You need to take these," the vaguely familiar voice said, cutting through the sleep that had been blocking out some of the pain she felt everywhere. She obediently opened her mouth and the hand put two caplets on her tongue. A water bottle squirted a little cool liquid into her mouth until she moaned and sucked harder, desperate for more. "Not too much. Wait until you can hold that down. I'll give you more in a bit. You don't want that IV back, do you?" "Nuh" Honey groaned. She hated needles. Sure, just about every part of her body hurt more than a needle did, right now, but somehow needle pain felt personal. Like with Zach. He didn't seem like someone who went around wanting to choke everybody; just her. She was nobody special; just a simple girl who kept lawyers organized and tried to be nice. Then, someone wonderful like Zach thought she needed to die. That hurt. Something about her made him go from being tender and intensely loving to someone who; it just didn't make sense. What did she do? Mercifully, sleep faded the pain and clouded her thoughts. Voices below her intruded into a wonderful dream where she was bouncing on clouds. Though not in the same room, the voices seemed strangely clear. "I can't; Terry, she cries when I do that," the pills voice said, making her eyes fly open. She knew that voice. She hadn't heard it for a year, but she would never forget it. Her body reacted with a confused mix of emotions, her cheeks flushing and adrenaline searing a path all through her at the same time. "That's because it hurts her. You know what hurts more? Bedsores. Man up. Use the pillows to prop her weight against the parts that aren't hurt on whichever side. It's either this, or she goes back to the hospital, and I have it on good authority you won't be allowed to visit after what happened." "She was screaming; Zach gritted. "Yeah, well they were putting her shoulder back in. People scream. That still doesn't excuse what you did. Since when did you become such a pussy about pain?" Terry asked. "since her." "oh my god." "Shut up," Zach grunted. "Oh my god; "Yeah, that's not shutting up." "The great Z-dog has been taken down;" "Shut up, maggot, it's not like that. I'm just taking care of h;" "By a little bitty pink Christmas elf; Terry laughed. There was a scuffling sound and then a loud whoomp and a forceful exhalation of air. "So, I turn her every few hours until she can do it for herself?" Zach asked, casually. "Yes, sir," Terry choked. "Anything else?" "Clear liquids until she can hold stuff down. Talk to her. Ask her questions. If she seems disoriented or part of her face goes slack, she goes back to the hospital. Don't fuck around." "Got it. Are you squared away, or do we need to discuss this further?" "Squared away, sir," Terry choked, then gasped in relief, panting faintly. "Jesus Christ, you haven't lost your touch. We on for the hump tomorrow at 0 500?" "No. I'm gonna stick close here until she's;" "Got it. Hey, maybe they have those Baby Bjorn things in elf-size. Then, you could just strap her onto your ba; ow! ow! ow, ow, ow!" "You weren't particularly attached to the rest of that sentence, were you, maggot?" Zach growled. "Sir, no sir; Terry squeaked. "I didn't think so. You'll be back here Wednesday," Zach stated, more as an order than a question. "Yeah, if you want me to. Honestly, right now she just needs rest and TLC more than a medic. That stands for 'tender loving care' by the way, not;" "You were just going," Zach said, as the voices moved to another end of the room below her. "Hey, you wanna know what makes an elf's toes curl up like tha;" Terry asked, his question cut off by the slamming of the door. Honey listened, trembling and terrified as Zach paced the floor below her. Though his voice hadn't changed, he sounded nothing like the man that had wooed her so tenderly a year ago. He sounded dangerous, brutal even. He definitely sounded like the kind of person that went around wanting to choke everyone, she thought, strangely relieved that her heartbreak felt a little less personal. How could she have been so wrong in her impression of him? She looked around the room, understanding now how the voices had reached her so easily. She was in an open industrial loft bedroom that opened onto the main floor below. Looking around, she realized she must be in Zach's huge bed, though if the crisply made side next to her was any indication, he hadn't been sleeping in it with her. Looking down her body, she gasped quietly. Her left arm was in a sling strapped to her chest, her legs were covered in bruises, and the right leg that was being stabbed with an invisible knife right now, was wrapped up in an air cast boot. What had happened to her? The last thing she remembered was feeling sick as she tried to get away from Lee's groping hands on the dance floor. After that; nothing. How did she get here? A beeping noise sounded below and Zach walked across the room to what sounded like a kitchen. The sound of water being poured into a cup, the ringing of a spoon stirring it, a pill bottle being opened. Honey shivered, realizing he was probably coming up to her, soon. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing, feigning sleep. Steps ascending to the loft bedroom. Ankle stabbing, stab, stab, stab, stab with every panicked heartbeat. A tray went down on the nightstand next to her. A chair across the room was lifted and set down by the bed. Honey told herself to breathe slowly, willing the tears welling behind her lids not to leak out of her eyes. He would leave her alone if she was sleeping, wouldn't he? "You're not sleeping," Zach's voice stated, quietly, and her stomach clenched in fear. "You've been waking up for these pills every four hours like a junkie. I know you don't want to talk to me, Honey, but until you're squared away, you're gonna have to. So, cut the crap, open your eyes, and let's get this done." Honey opened her eyes to see his grim face looking down at her. With one blink, large tears rolled down her pale cheeks, and Zach's jaw set angrily. Sitting down in the chair, he put his elbows on his knees and leaned his massive shoulders forward, looking at her. His hands looked like they could crush rocks as he gripped them together. "Let's get some things straight. I don't know what you think you know about me, but acting like I'm some kind of psycho is pretty shitty. You want nothing of me, that's fine, but you're hurt because you screamed and flung yourself down some stairs rather than let me help you to an Uber. You're staying here until you're well, because some shithead at that party gave you enough roofies to be in a coma for almost 3 days and I'm not dragging my ass to that rat trap of yours in the Commons every day to make sure they don't come back while you're weak. Are we clear?" he asked. Honey swallowed and nodded, wincing at the pain in her neck and head. That just seemed to make Zach angrier. "While you are here, you will do as you're told. You will eat what you get, and you will not complain. You see these, here?" he said, holding up the magic caplets that made everything better. "These are the last ones you're getting. I'm switching you to ibuprofen and Tylenol because, unchecked, this Sackler shit will fuck you up for good and that's not happening on my watch. Do you understand?" he asked. "Yes," Honey whispered. At the sound of her voice, Zach's mouth twitched, but at least he didn't look as angry as when she'd nodded and winced. "You will follow your doctor's orders to the last goddamn word. You will rest. You will do your therapy. You will let me help you and you will ask me for what you need because I am not a fucking mind reader. And so help me, if you do anything stupid like get out of that bed without me here to help you, or push yourself away from me like you did at Gatsby's, or any other drama shit that hurts even one hair on that head again, I will personally make you regret you were ever born." "Yes, Zach," Honey breathed, confused. Two more tears rolled down her cheeks. Without thinking, she leaned over to wipe them off on her shoulder and cried out in pain. Zach squeezed his clenched hands together and several of his knuckles cracked. "You don't use my name. You don't get to use my name. You're not getting under my skin again, you hear me?" Zach growled, using his rough knuckle to wipe her tears. "Orders a fucking angel shot in my own fucking club; fuck you. I don't have a name, you don't have a name. You're nothing to me. Understand?" "Yes, sir," she whispered. Honey leaned forward and took the last spoonful of broth into her mouth and swallowed, looking longingly at the noodles at the bottom of the cup. Zach caught a drop of broth at the bottom of her lower lip with the spoon and returned it to her mouth. "No," he said, seeing where her eyes lingered. "I can do it," she pleaded. "Please; I haven't had anything solid since; how long has it been?" "I said, no. You throw up on another pair of my skivvies and I'll be doing laundry twice a week," Zach said, dabbing her mouth with a paper towel. "Why do I have to wear your boxer briefs anyway? They feel weird. They have this hole-flap thing; and there are some places that aren't supposed to feel a breeze," Honey said, lifting the blanket to look down at his underwear loosely covering her hips. "Are you complaining?" he asked quietly. Honey's eyes darted quickly to his face, "No sir," she murmured, looking down at her lap. "I just thought if I had some of my things here, you wouldn't have to do the laundry so much." "I'll worry about what I have to do, Honey," he said, unthinkingly using her name. Startled, she looked up to see his eyes wandering over her, his massive t-shirt sleeves going down past her elbows. She felt ridiculous and disheveled, but something about the way he looked at her made her hold her breath. Then, without another word, he slurped the noodles out of the cup and took the tray downstairs. After that, the two settled into a quiet routine of him feeding her, giving her medicine, and watching her sleep most of the day. She would sometimes awaken to the soft repetitive sounds of him running on a treadmill, or the clinking of him lifting weights downstairs where she couldn't see him. Then, he would go to the bathroom and shower. After his shower, he came upstairs again in his towel and took some clothes from his dresser before going back downstairs to change. Honey found herself looking forward to those few seconds each day, watching his droplet-covered torso twist as he leaned over his dresser. He frowned as he flipped through his carefully folded underwear. "You wearing the grey ones?" he asked, not looking at her. Honey peeked under the covers, "Um, yes sir," she replied. "I'm supposed to wear the grey ones today," he grumbled to himself. Honey didn't say anything. Zach was the one who picked out which underwear she wore today. He was the one who looked away while he painstakingly slipped the old ones off her hips and pulled the new ones over her boot and up her legs until her bottom was covered again. There was nothing about her life that wasn't chosen and executed by him. If he wasn't happy about the color of his underwear, that was his fault. Still, Zach kept rummaging around in his underwear drawer as if another crisply folded grey pair would somehow magically appear. Finally, rather than offend him by laughing, Honey spoke, "Um; you know, if they're clean, I could wear the pair I had on when I went to the hospital and you could have these. It would get you back on schedule; Zach lifted his head from the drawer and glared at her, as if he thought she was making fun of him. Honey held carefully still and shrugged her uninjured limb. She wasn't making fun, she just wanted to help. The movement caused the huge neckline to gape over to the side, revealing her bare shoulder. She waited as Zach stared impassively at her, the vein at his neck throbbing. After a long moment, he walked over and stood next to her, the tuck of his towel right next to her face. With every breath, she inhaled the scent of his wet body and the bar soap he used. A rivulet of water painstakingly slid from his chest and down his abdomen, until finally disappearing into the tightly twisted white cotton. Honey glanced up to see that he had been reading her face as she watched the droplet's progress. With a shaking breath, she blushed and pulled the covers higher with her good arm. With a twist of his mouth, Zach pulled the neckline back over her shoulder again and quickly left the room. That night, after leaving her with a video baby monitor watching her on the nightstand, Zach returned with a bag of her underwear and some of her nightgowns. After watching her excitedly sort through them, Zach pushed them aside and sat on the edge of the bed. "There were a bunch of boxes with tags on them in your living room. What's that about?" he asked. Honey's eyes dropped, "Oh; that's the charity gift thing for kids. You sign up and get them something they wished for and wrap it up so they can have something under the tree, when they wouldn't have something otherwise. It's nice, you know? I signed up for a bunch and I was supposed to wrap them and get them back to the law firm, but I guess; sorry kids," she trailed off. Looking furious, yet carefully impassive at the same time, Zach cursed under his breath and left again, returning with the packages and a huge stack of unused Styrofoam clamshells from Gatsby's, and dumped them on the bed next to her. For the next few hours, they "wrapped" the presents, Zach carefully fitting items into an appropriate-sized takeout box, and Honey trying to make them pretty with ribbons. As she watched him work, occasionally cursing under his breath, she found herself smiling at his frowning face when he was strategizing how to fit a basketball into three disassembled clamshells. "What are you laughing at?" he said, glaring when he caught her at it. "I wasn't laughing. I was smiling." "Why were you smiling, then?" he asked. "I guess; I just like you; sir," she said, glancing over at him. Honey saw a hopeful softness steal into Zach's eyes until he forcibly wrestled it down and a look of hooded sarcasm shaded them. "Yeah, well; fool me once," he sneered. Angry, Honey closed her eyes, blocking him out the only way she could. "You know, that's; that's not fair. Not after what you said; you scared me!" she said, frustrated that, once again, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Zach choked out a mirthless laugh, "I scared you? What did I say, Honey? What did I fucking say? God! I was on eggshells all night trying not to fuck it up with you and then you just; why? Those creeps you were dancing with at that party, those fucking 'nice guys' that drugged you, they were saying shit that made my skin crawl! I didn't even kiss you! I couldn't! I could barely breathe just for looking at you on our date; you looked just like a fucking angel. What did I say, Honey? What did I say?" Honey reached over and grabbed her phone, flipping through her photo album to a screenshot taken shortly before she blocked his number. "You didn't say it; you texted it. I remember watching you leave for the restroom thinking I'd met the love of my life and then you sent me this; she said, handing her phone to him. Zach took the phone, his face going from an angry red to pale horror in a matter of seconds. "This; this; he gasped, "I didn't; send this; to you; he said, shaking his head. "Whoever had your phone did, sir!" she said, emphasizing the last word, making him wince. "I spent the last year thinking you wanted to do that to me; to kill me. Every time I felt you watching me, every crowd I saw you show up in, every dark room I had to go into, that's what I thought about. I thought that a man I was head over heels about; that I could be so wrong about him. So, excuse me for thinking I liked you, sir. I promise it won't ever happen again!" Honey cried herself to sleep that night, refusing to speak to, or even look at Zach again. When she awoke, the bedroom was empty, and a glass of water and a pain pill were waiting on the nightstand. After swallowing the pill, she stared at the ceiling, furious. She didn't want to be there anymore, to be helpless and dependent on him, to obey all his stupid rules. He didn't deserve to take care of her. So, she tightened the straps on her boot and increased the air pressure to hold her broken ankle tightly enough to walk without her crutches. Then, she took off Zach's t-shirt, pulled on her elf dress, and called herself an Uber. It was when she saw the anticipated arrival time of 8 minutes that she realized her mistake. There was no way for her to get down from the loft and out of the apartment quietly in that amount of time. If she used the crutches, she would be able to descend the stairs quickly enough, but they made such a distinctive clicking racket that they would surely wake up her gorilla-like guard. If she hopped down the stairs on her good foot, it might have worked, but her good arm was on the opposite side and she kept losing her balance. Eventually she decided on the most painful course, of going down on her good and bad legs, using her good arm for support. Her boot thunked horribly the first few times, until she got the hang of it and could place it more quietly on the next step and then hop her good foot down to support it before the scream inside her could escape her lips. By the time she reached the bottom, though, she was shaking with pain and exhausted. Curiosity forced her to look around the rest of the apartment as she caught her breath, sitting on the bottom step. It was clean and unmistakably masculine. Exercise equipment took up a lot of the space not already claimed by a leather couch and TV arrangement. Zach lay on the couch, made up with sheets to act as a bed, his feet sticking out over the arm, his hand tucked under the back of his head, his chest rising and falling under the rumpled sheet. If she wasn't so angry, she'd find him handsome; or maybe he still was handsome, she thought grudgingly, closing her eyes miserably and looking away. Why couldn't he be ugly? Life wasn't fair. Uber. Right. Screwing up her courage for what was ahead, she stood and slowly hobbled across the hardwood floor, agonizing over every painful thump and noisy squeak until she finally reached the door. She unlocked the five locks on his large door, each of them being well-oiled and working perfectly. She expected no less of her anal-retentive, grey-skivvies-on-Tuesdays captor. Finally, she tugged open the heavy door to find endless flights of icy steel-mesh stairs leading all the way down to the street where her Uber was waiting. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me; she cried, breaking down into tears. A strong arm slid down around her waist and mercifully shifted her weight off her throbbing foot, "I know. It sucks. You should try it with a rucksack full of bricks," Zach said, leaning his head down and breathing into her hair. "I want to go home," she whispered. "Let me take care of you; please," Zach murmured into the top of her head, "I; it was my fault this happened to you. I scared you, I know that now; but, please believe me that I would never want to hurt or frighten you like that." "It wasn't just that text," she said, pulling her head away and looking up at him angrily. "All year, I never had a moment's peace. Even when I couldn't see you, I could feel you waiting in the quiet or dark places. Even if you weren't there;" "I was there," he confessed. "I was always there. I didn't understand what had gone wrong. You didn't want to talk to me, and the world just didn't make sense to me unless I knew where you were, what you were doing; unless I knew you were safe." "Maybe you knew I was safe, but I didn't! I thought I'd done something; that somehow I deserved to have this beautiful, scary monster hunting me. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done to destroy something that was so; wonderful." "You didn't do anything, Honey. Nothing at all. You were perfect. You were so perfect that I couldn't keep; you didn't do anything wrong. I never meant to send you that message; please, please believe me." "Why did you send it?" she asked, finally looking up into his eyes. The dark blue liquid pools of her eyes turned violet in the moonlight, and Zach felt a tightening in his chest. "I; I can't tell you that; but it was never meant for you." "You mean, you meant to send that message to someone else? To hurt them like that?" "Honey, I; Zach said, looking around, unable to meet her eyes, "Please, I can't; you wouldn't understand; my life isn't like that anymore." "I want to go home, Zach; please," she whispered. Zach closed his eyes for a long moment before he swallowed and nodded, looking like he was in more pain than she was. "I'll take you home tomorrow, okay? Or Terry will, if you don't want me to. He'll check the place out, make sure you're set up and safe there. You're tired, you're hurting, and your Uber's gone, now. Let me take you back upstairs and you can go in the morning. Please." At that moment, a throb of pain shot through her entire leg, and as angry as Honey was, she knew she couldn't face her empty apartment without a few more hours of rest. "Okay," she whispered. To be continued in part 2, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought, in 3 parts, for Literotica.

It's not too late to join me for my legendary 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.In this episode we dive into the powerful connection between cleaning, mental health and self-care and how looking after your home can genuinely transform your mindset. I'm joined by the amazing Laura Mountford (aka Lauracleanaholic), who shares how she reframes everyday housework into a form of mindfulness, movement, and emotional reset. We talk about why cleaning can sometimes feel easier and more accessible than traditional self-care, especially for mums, and how small, simple actions like decluttering a drawer or refreshing a room can instantly shift your energy. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, stuck in a spiral, or unable to find time for yourself, this episode will help you see your home and your daily habits in a totally new light.We explore practical ways to use cleaning as free therapy, from creating low-friction home hacks to building routines that support your mental wellbeing. Laura and I unpack how clearing physical space can clear mental space, why caring for your environment is a direct act of caring for yourself, and how to make cleaning feel joyful instead of draining. Whether you're craving motivation, looking to manifest a calmer life, or wanting to feel more grounded in your space, this conversation is packed with inspiration and simple shifts you can try today. Tune in to learn how “house care is self-care” can become one of the most powerful tools in your wellbeing routine.Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comBy the way, do we love my Amazon Storefront - it even has all my favourite self development books on there!(Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

   What is your FOCUS this weekend and these last few days before Christmas 2025? Honestly now, how much time and energy are you investing in preparations for family gatherings, buying and wrapping of gifts, traveling plans etc.,  and how much time nurturing your SOUL for this annual celebration of God’s ultimate gift to our world… Jesus?(Click here to see full text, images and links)    Pastor Doug Anderson    “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)Have a comment or question about today's chapter? I'm ready to hear from you, contact me here. Interested in helping "Walking with Jesus" financially? Click here

Michigan Weather and Women: Part 3 How did we ever get here? Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Connected. "When I was fourteen, Mr. Johnson introduced me to a friend of his, Henry White, who was a master plumber. Henry was a high-functioning alcoholic whose temper had driven away all his old apprentices and journeymen. Luckily, I was always big for my age, and Mr. Johnson assured Henry that I was seventeen, turning eighteen in the next few months, so he took me on with the promise to make me an apprentice as soon as I was old enough. By the time that Henry learned my actual age, he had come to rely on me so much that he kept me on." "But what about school? Don't you need a high school diploma to become an apprentice?" "One good thing about growing up in a small town is that most people know the score. I made it to school when I could, and Henry and I worked a lot on the weekends, while Alison watched the rest of my siblings. Most of my teachers let me through with C's and D's, even though I must have missed half of my classes. Everyone knew that I was working with Henry and that I would need my high school diploma to become an apprentice, so they just kind of let me slip through. "I had well over 6,000 hours of experience plumbing before I even turned 18 and could formally become an apprentice. By that point, Henry was a significantly less functional alcoholic, and I was doing everything for his business; all the plumbing and all of the invoicing. He just signed off on the work. If anyone had ever looked into it, he could have gotten into real trouble, but we did smaller jobs for folks who didn't have a lot of money, so no one ever noticed or cared. "Just about the last thing that Henry did before he passed was to swear out my application to become a master plumber. Then one day I showed up for work, and he had died in his sleep. He didn't own much of anything, other than his tools, and he didn't have any family that I knew of, so I just kept on working." After a few minutes spent lying together in silence, I thought that Erin might have drifted off, but she had one more question for me before she did. "When did your mom leave?" I had never told anyone that part of my story; even my brother and sisters thought that Mom had just left one day, leaving me in charge. The reality was so much worse. "By the time Lane started school, Mom had already left us. Not physically, but in all the other ways that matter. She didn't work, and she regularly brought her 'boyfriends' back to our house to trade sex for drugs. Any support she got from social services went straight into her arm or up her nose. I was working long hours by then, to pay the rent and put food on the table, so sometimes that meant that Mary or my brother would be at home with Mom when I wasn't there. I knew it was playing with fire, but there was nothing I could do about it other than pray. "Normally, when I got home, I would blow my horn as I pulled into our drive and Lane would come running out to hug me and tell me about his day. So, I knew something was wrong when I came home late one evening, turned off my truck, and he still hadn't come out. I went inside, and Mom was sitting stoned in the living room watching TV. I asked where Lane was, and she just waved toward the back of the house. Alison and Sharon were out, so Mary and Lane were home with her by themselves. I found him in the room that we shared, cowering in the corner, with little Mary guarding the door. She was only eight at the time. "After a few minutes, I got Lane to tell me what was wrong, and he showed me his arm. Earlier, he had been in the kitchen and had bumped into Mom while she was cooking something on the stove. In a burst of rage, or maybe just evil, she grabbed his arm and held it against the burner. You can still see the scar on his arm today. "That was the end of it. I asked Mary to stay with Lane in our room, I packed Mom's things into the one suitcase we owned, and I drove her to the bus station. I bought her a ticket to Grand Rapids, gave her all the cash in my wallet, and waited with her until she boarded. I told her I would call the police if she ever came back. "Before she left, she spat on me and told me she wished I had never been born." I marveled at how flat my voice sounded, but to my surprise, my cheeks felt wet. I thought I had lost the ability to cry long ago. "Can you imagine that, abandoning your own mother? I'll probably burn in hell, but it was the only way I could think of to keep my brother and sisters safe. I haven't seen her since, although she used to call a couple of times a year asking for money. I didn't feel too bad about hanging up on her when she did, though, since she was still collecting family benefits for us all. Lane barely remembers her, which is likely a blessing, so I made up the story about Mom going away for the weekend and never coming back. "Since then, I have done what was needed for us to survive. When Alison finished school, she wanted to stay home to help look after the others, but I convinced her to go to college. I said that Mom had put aside some money for her tuition, but of course, that was a lie. I have been making the payments for her, but I wanted her to have the chance to just be young, for once. To get away from all of this, at least for a while." "But what about you, Davis?" "I don't matter." "Well, you matter to me." While I was speaking, Erin had wrapped both arms around me and was now holding me tight against her body. When I finished, my body was wracked by waves of uncontrollable grief, but she held me through it all. Eventually, as I started to calm down, she gave me gentle kisses on the nape of my neck and whispered to me in a soft voice. I don't remember what she said, but I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. The power came back on early the next morning, and Erin and I were the first people to wake up. She lay beside me with a small smile on her face. "You've had some hard times, Davis Crawford, but you have come out the other side. You're pretty amazing." I felt a sudden burst of both elation and fear as I returned her smile. "Thanks for listening and not judging me. I've never told anyone some of the things I shared with you." "It was my pleasure. Now let's get up and make some coffee." Looking out the window, the snowdrifts were over two feet high in places, but I knew they weren't going to get any lighter as the sun came out and they started to melt. "I am going to get started on the shoveling if you want to start on breakfast." Erin gave me a bemused look. "Or maybe, I am fully capable of shoveling snow, and we can get it done twice as fast by working together." A few minutes after we started, Lane came out to help. At one point, when Erin was on the other side of the yard, he started to speak. "I heard some of what you said to Erin last night. I never knew what Mom did to you, what you did to protect us. Thank you." "Ah, Bud. I never wanted you to worry. Mom wasn't well for a long time, and she made some terrible choices. But she's gone now, and you will always be safe with me." By the time we finished, we had worked ourselves into a lather, so I suggested to Wilma that she get a snow plowing service for the winter. She gave me a look that implied that somewhere there was a village searching for its idiot; and that idiot was me. "Oh, I have a service, but they take so long to come that they are useless if they bother to show up at all." Erin jumped into the conversation, looking pissed off. "It's part of my family and the McDougal's ongoing campaign to get Gran to move. I have told them how dangerous the game they are playing is, but they just don't seem to care." I thought for a minute, before walking a little ways away and making a call. When I returned, I had some good news for Wilma. "Go ahead and cancel your current service. If they aren't going to do the work, they shouldn't have a problem with not getting paid. I called an old friend of mine from school who runs a snow removal company out of Harbor Springs, who owes me a favor or nine. From now on, you will be at the top of his list." Erin and I texted just about every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we talked most nights when she wasn't working. We were both insanely busy; Erin was providing pediatric coverage for two hospitals that were three hours apart, and I was working as much overtime as possible, to save up for Christmas. Some weeks, the only time we had to meet in person was Sunday afternoons at Wilma's. Mary, in turn, was flourishing under Wilma's guidance. It seemed like she was channeling her emotions into her art, and I began to see the kind and thoughtful sister reemerge that I thought I had lost forever. She wouldn't show me the painting she was working on, but Wilma said she was making good progress, and that was all I needed to know. As it got towards mid-December, our thoughts turned to Christmas. Since Wilma's family was still boycotting the holidays, we decided to have a joint celebration like at Thanksgiving. Erin was going to be working at the hospital in Petoskey on Christmas Day, but we promised to keep Wilma company and to bring her a Christmas meal that she could eat on her break. In typical fashion, she tried to convince us that she would be fine with cafeteria food, but we would hear nothing of it. When we got to Wilma's house for lunch on Christmas Day, she had stockings laid out by the fireplace with a present for each of us. Santa must have had a very healthy budget, because he brought Lane a new fishing rod, Mary a set of expensive paints and charcoals, Sharon a contribution to her college fund, and Alison a specialized nurse's bag with a personalized stethoscope. Rather than a present, my stocking came with a small envelope that contained a pair of tickets to the traveling production of "Moulin Rouge" that was playing in Grand Rapids in March. Although I was happy to get a present of any kind, Wilma must have seen my look of confusion at the choice. "I was talking to Santa, and he mentioned that Erin loves musicals. Phillip used to take her to them when she was younger. He would put on his best suit, and she would get all dolled up in a dress with some of my jewelry, and they would go out for a fancy dinner before the show and have a grand old time." I looked at her in amusement, before replying. "Well, it seems that Santa is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. But I will have to say thanks, next time I bump into him." Our present to Wilma came in three parts. First, we included her in our Christmas cookie exchange, and Mary even gave her a double portion of the chocolate chip cookies she had baked. Second, the five of us committed to helping her catch up on the yard work and house repairs that had fallen by the wayside since Phillip passed. And finally, we pledged to do everything in our power to make sure that she could stay in her house for as long as she was able. Wilma hugged and thanked each of us with tears in her eyes, then looked over at Mary. "Why don't you get your present for your brother." Mary went to the studio at the back of the house and brought back what looked like a small painting, wrapped in Christmas paper. "I wanted to make you something to say 'thank you' for everything you have done for us. And for not giving up on me." When I unwrapped the painting, I was stunned. It was very different from Phillip or Wilma's more realistic works and had vibrant streaks of paint that burst across the canvas, meeting, seemingly at random, in explosions of color. The entire piece was chaotic, except for a single corner that was shielded from the turmoil by a solid arc of paint that was the exact color of my eyes. After lunch, Mary and Sharon kept Wilma company while Alison, Lane, and I went to see Erin at the hospital. Things were pretty quiet, so she had time to sit and eat her dinner with us. While she ate, I showed her pictures from earlier in the day. She laughed at one, in particular, of Wilma with her arm around Mary while they were wearing festive paper hats from their Christmas crackers. "Thank you for taking such good care of Wilma, Davis. She would never admit it, but the holidays would have been very lonely for her this year without you. It means the world to me that you could be there for her." We chatted a bit longer before I pulled out my present for Erin. It was a small flat package which she opened slowly. Inside was a framed drawing of Wilma's house, as seen from the docks, as she looked out the picture window in her living room. "This is amazing, who made it?" "I used to draw quite a bit in school. Since Mary has been working with your Gran, I thought I might give it another try, and I particularly liked how this one turned out." "It's beautiful, Davis. Thank you." She started to blush as she glanced over at Lane, before she slid a card over to me, and whispered, "Maybe you should wait to open this until later when you're alone." Inside the card was Erin's two-part gift to me. First, an invitation to visit her in Grand Rapids, and second, a night for the two of us in a suite at a very nice hotel. New Year's Eve was even quieter than usual at our house. Erin was working in Grand Rapids and was on call that evening. I spoke with her earlier in the day, however, and wished her a Happy New Year, and we sent each other kissing emojis at midnight. The rest of us spent the night playing board games. The only real excitement came a few days earlier when Mary asked if she could invite a friend to join us. "And is this friend a boy, by chance?" As far as I knew, Mary had never had a boyfriend, so this was a new development. Mary didn't have to answer, since her blush did the talking for her. "Do we know this boy?" "It's; It's James McDougal. But he's not like his brothers. He's a good guy." I had my reservations about all of the McDougals, but I was willing to give him a chance. I had only met James that one time at his parent's house when I had gone to get Mary, and he seemed polite enough. But since he was a McDougal, he was starting with two strikes and was in danger of going down swinging. To give Mary credit, James passed the first boyfriend test before he even made it into the house. When he drove into the yard, Munchkin was the first to greet him. He wasn't growling or barking like he sometimes did, or showing his teeth, but he was plenty intimidating. James waited patiently for him to approach before carefully scratching behind his ears. After Mary came out to greet James, Munchkin decided he was alright and fell in behind them as they came inside. Just after midnight, as he was getting ready to leave, James took me aside. "I just wanted to say, sir, that I am sorry for what happened with Mary a few months back. I should never have brought her over to my house without your permission, and I should have brought her right back home once I saw that my brothers were home. I promise you, that despite my bad judgment, I would have made sure that nothing happened to her, and I won't ever make that mistake again." I had to admit that James was growing on me. Chapter 5. It wasn't long before Mary introduced James to Wilma. I had to work on a Sunday in early January, so he offered to drive her to Wilma's in my place. I could tell he was nervous, and he was wearing a nice, collared shirt with some clean jeans, under his winter jacket. By the time he brought Mary home, his shirt was soaked in sweat, and he looked a little like a young man returning from war. Later that week, I asked Wilma what she thought of him. "He seems like a nice, polite boy and he sure is besotted with our Mary. While Mary and I worked on her latest painting, he did some chores for me, including chopping and stacking the entire half cord of wood you dropped off last week. But he didn't complain, and he was still smiling at Mary when he was done, so I think he will do." Wilma's relationship with the rest of the McDougals, however, remained tense, and they made it clear to me that continuing to help her would come at a steep cost. I ran into Calum one evening at the grocery store and he made their position crystal clear. "We've got a big job coming up in Indian River that you might be interested in. Starts in a week, and it would keep you busy for the better part of the next year, solid. The job is yours if you want it." "What's this job going to cost me?" "It's yours, no strings attached. But you wouldn't have time to help old lady Anderson anymore. You know, and I know, that it's time for her to move on from that land. It's what her family wants and it's what's best for her. I am sure that doctor down in Petoskey would understand, I figure she must be tired of looking after that grandmother of hers all the time anyway. Think how much more time the two of you would have together if you were working a regular nine-to-five kind of job. "On the other hand, if you don't work with us on this project, my family is going to take it pretty hard. Hard enough that we might reach out to our friends and neighbors to let them know that you are not a team player and that they may not want to do business with you." There it was. They were threatening to ruin me if I didn't do what they wanted. I knew they couldn't cut off all of my business since there were too many people in the lower peninsula who had been screwed over by them in the past. But they could sure make things tough for me. I am really bad at taking orders, however, particularly from dickheads like Calum McDougal. Calum had a cynical smile as he walked away. He didn't value decency or loyalty, so I was sure he thought he had won me over. All he had done was harden my resolve. I felt honor-bound to reach out to my friend who was clearing Wilma's driveway, though, to let him know that he might get some heat from the McDougals. He was surprisingly poetic in his response. "Fuck those arrogant worm-drowners and the horses they rode in on." Valentine's Day was never a big deal for me. Over the years, I hadn't had time to date, and I wouldn't have had any money to do anything special if I did, so the Hallmark holiday passed me by without too much fuss or bother. I had hoped things might be different since I was with Erin, but she was on call at the hospital in Petoskey, and I was pushing hard on a large multi-unit build that was on a tight schedule, so I was working six or even seven days a week until it was done. My work hadn't completely dried up since my run-in with Calum, but it had certainly taken a hit, so I was not in a position to turn down jobs, no matter how inconvenient. My one consolation was I knew I would see Erin in a couple of weeks when I visited her in Grand Rapids for the show. I had some flowers delivered to her at the hospital anyway, to let her know that I was thinking of her. That earned me an emoji-filled text and an enthusiastic video call when she was done with her shift. As the date of the show got closer, I started to get anxious. I had never been to a live performance of anything, except the occasional high school assembly, and I worried that Erin would be disappointed in my lack of manners and refinement. Wilma noticed my growing nervousness and decided that I needed a pep talk. "Listen, Davis. Erin likes you for who you are. She doesn't need or want you to act like some slick yuppie from the big city." "I know, Wilma, but I don't even know what to wear. The nicest outfit I own is still just a collared shirt over a pair of jeans." "Hmm, I can help you with that. I still have some of Phillip's old suits and ties, let's take a look and see what might fit." Half an hour later, Wilma had picked out a heavier dark charcoal-colored suit, a lightweight linen suit suitable for warmer weather, and a dark grey suit with tight pinstripes for me to try on. She had some shirts for me, as well, from when Phillip was younger. "Phillip wore that pinstripe suit the first time that he took me to the movies. I'll never forget that night, he looked just like Cary Grant. If you bring these suits to the tailor in Indian River, he should be able to take in the jacket and hem the pants to fit you perfectly. A good tailor can make these suits look like they were cut just for you." I didn't want to seem ungrateful, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would look funny in a decades-old suit. Wilma dismissed my concerns out of hand. "Let me tell you a little secret. If you buy a cheap suit, it will quickly begin to look tacky and dated. If you invest in a quality suit, it will age gracefully and become a timeless classic." Finally, Wilma selected a half dozen ties for me to try on and spent an hour teaching me how to tie a half-Windsor knot. "Get these suits altered, grab yourself a pair of polished black leather shoes, and you'll have those snooty pricks at the theatre thinking they are underdressed. And try to have fun. Erin loves the theatre, so if the two of you continue to fall in love, you will be going with her at least a couple of times a year, so you might as well enjoy it." I stood there in shock for a moment. "Do you really think Erin is falling in love with me?" "Well, yes, I do. And it's clear as daylight that you're in love with her too. But don't overthink things. Just go to the show and have a great night together. And here, take this with you as well," Wilma said handing me a navy blue pocket square with a distinctive paisley pattern. "Most men don't bother wearing a pocket square anymore, but I think they complete the look perfectly. You should wear this one on your date with Erin." Wilma took a final look at me and then slipped a twenty-dollar bill into my pocket. "That's for you to get a haircut before the show. Your normal 'shaggy mutt lost in a forest' look is adorable but not for your big date." The day of the performance approached with both aching slowness and relentless speed. We hadn't discussed it, but I knew (or at least strongly suspected) that Erin would have some expectations about how we spent our time together after the show. Unfortunately, I had no experience when it came to women other than a single kiss with Brittany Johnson back in my sophomore year of high school. I was terrified that I would disappoint her. To make matters worse, I had the three-and-a-half-hour drive to Grand Rapids to overthink things. By the time I arrived at Erin's apartment complex, I was a bit of a mess. My nerves were somewhat allayed, however, when Erin came running out to greet me with a huge smile on her face. "You made it! How was the drive? Wow, I love the haircut! I hope you're not too tired. I can't wait for tonight. I have been telling the girls all about you, and they are dying to see if the man lives up to the legend!" I guess Erin could see the sudden swell of anxiety on my face, so she took my hand. "Don't worry, the girls will love you, Davis. Why don't you grab your bag and come inside? I thought we could get changed here and then check in to the hotel before dinner and the show." Erin's housemates were really sweet, and the three of us chatted for at least an hour while Erin got ready before I excused myself to do the same. I put on Phillip's charcoal grey suit along with the crisp white shirt that Wilma had recommended. It took me four tries to tie my navy blue tie, but even I could tell that it made the colors in my paisley pocket square pop. Despite my nerves, I was still ready before Erin, so I rejoined her housemates in the living room while I waited. They kept sneaking glances at me when they thought I wasn't looking, so much so that I thought I must have done something wrong. Rather than second-guessing myself, I decided to take the bull by the horns and ask; better to be embarrassed in front of Erin's housemates than in front of her. "It's; it's not that you did anything wrong. It's just that you look; well, amazing; like an old-time movie star or something. Erin is going to swoon when she sees you." "You really think so?" I asked, still not sure of myself. Just then, I heard Erin's voice from behind me. "I'm sorry I took so long; we should head out before we're;" Erin went silent as I turned to look at her. She was wearing a floor-length emerald-green dress, which seemed to flow around her and mold to her curves, gathering delicately at her neck while leaving her back bare. Her sandy-blonde hair was styled in an elegant updo, while a few strands floated loose, framing her face. But, as always, what captured and held my gaze were her amber eyes, which danced and sparkled as she moved. My hands began to tremble, and I didn't trust myself to speak. "Do I look alright, Davis?" I took a deep breath that sent oxygen coursing through my body, as I found my voice. "I had no idea that anyone could look as beautiful as you do right now." Apparently, she liked my response, since her face broke into a wide grin. "You look mighty handsome yourself, Mister," she said while making a small adjustment to the knot of my tie. "Is that one of Grampy's suits? It looks amazing on you, and I love the tie and the; Oh; Oh, Davis. Is that Grampy's pocket square?" I could see tears forming in her eyes. "Wilma thought you might like it; that it might remind you of Phillip and the times he took you to the theatre when you were younger. I don't have to wear it, though, if you don't like it," I said reaching up to take it out of my pocket. Erin stopped my hand with hers, however, and then lightly ran her fingertips over the colorful square. "Gran was right. It reminds me of Grampy and now it will remind me of you. Please, I want you to wear it. For me." I felt a bit self-conscious pulling up to a fancy hotel in my ratty old truck, but it didn't seem to faze Erin in the least, so I decided not to worry about it. The suite she had booked was by far the nicest room of any kind that I had ever been in, but I tried not to seem like a country rube as I looked around. "Do you like it?" Erin asked a bit nervously, as she tried to gauge my reaction. "Honestly, I thought that rooms like this were just for celebrities and movie stars, and folks like that." "Normally that's the case, I guess, but for one night; tonight; it's ours." Dinner was lovely. I kept expecting people to see past my suit and realize that I was an imposter; just a plumber from the peninsula; not the kind of man who should be spending the evening with a woman like Erin. But she seemed to be having a wonderful time, so I began to relax. My anxiety was further abated when she leaned over the table and said in a low voice. "Jesus, the women in this place can't stop checking you out. I'm kind of wishing I had brought my bear spray now to keep them away. I need to excuse myself for a minute, but I wouldn't be surprised to find one of them trying to take my place when I get back." "Erin, I would never;" "I know, Darling. And frankly, they can look all they want because I know who you're going home with tonight." After that, I looked around the room with a new eye and noticed the subtle glances in my direction, and the shy smiles and blushes. I guess Phillip really did have good taste in suits. After dinner, we walked arm-in-arm to the performance hall, which was very impressive, with its soaring ceilings and plush velvet upholstery. Our seats were in a box on the right-hand side of the hall, which gave us a commanding view of the stage. As the lights went down, Erin took my hand in eager anticipation. I don't remember much about the performance that night; I spent more time watching Erin's childlike wonder than what was happening on the stage. Erin was still holding my hand at the intermission, and I felt a warm sense of contentment wash over me. "Oh, I forgot to mention, some of the largest donors to the hospital are hosting a reception after the performance. Would it be alright if we put in an appearance before we head back to our hotel?" I agreed without hesitation; a decision I would second guess before the night was over. It was close to 10:30 by the time the performance ended, and Erin held my arm, while resting her head on my shoulder, as we made our way through the hall to the reception. We each grabbed a drink, and we drifted through the small crowd until Erin was greeted warmly by a distinguished-looking older couple. Erin introduced them to me as the hosts of the reception, Mr. and Mrs. Wendel. "Please, just call us Tom and Martha. And you two make such a lovely couple. What do you do, Davis?" "I am a plumber, Ma'am," I replied, wondering how that news would be received by this obviously well-to-do couple, but I needn't have worried. "What kind of plumbing do you do?" Tom asked with genuine interest. "Mainly residential at this point, since I just got my master's license last year. A lot of the larger builders want to see some gray hairs on the heads of their skilled tradesmen, so right now, I am just doing what I can to pay the bills." "Amen, to that brother. I remember those days well. I started out, over 30 years ago now, as a dry Waller, and I spent more years than I care to remember doing whatever jobs I could get, just to get a foot in the door. It paid off for me in the end, though. Say, I am working on a development on the south side of town and was wondering;" Before Martha could stop him, Tom launched into a long and technical question about a challenge he was having with the plumbing for his new development. When I started an equally long and technical response, Erin kissed me on the cheek and whispered that Martha and she were going to go to the bar to get another drink. A few minutes later, I was still talking with Tom when a movement at the bar caught my eye. I looked more closely and saw that Erin was speaking with a tall, arrogant-looking man who kept trying to put his hand on her lower back, while she forcefully pushed it away. "My apologies, Tom, but could you give me a minute?" Without waiting for a reply, I walked over to where Erin was standing and slipped my arm around her waist, just as the man reached for her for a third time. "Hey, now," I said, trying to defuse the situation with a bit of humor. "At least buy me a drink before you make a move on me like that." His hand recoiled like it had been scalded, and his cheeks colored in anger. I could smell the alcohol on his breath from where I was standing. "Well, if it isn't the plumber," he said in a mocking tone. He must have been eavesdropping on my conversation with Tom, and he clearly wasn't impressed. "What did you think of the show this evening? Actually, that's hardly a fair question since you've probably never been to the theatre before. So, how about something more your level? I wonder what you would think of the bathrooms in my new penthouse. I am sure you would find them very impressive. I will give you a call the next time my toilet gets clogged, and you can come and check them out." He seemed very pleased with his insults, so he continued, a condescending grin on his face. "Anyway, Dr. Anderson, as I was saying, it was charitable of you to let the help see how the rest of us live, and I am sure he is having a good time and all, but it's past time for him to bring his daddy's suit home, don't you think? Why don't you leave him to it, and you and I can go have a drink? And then; who knows? I had dealt with people like this prick for my entire life. When you grow up with one abusive parent and no money, you get used to just about everyone feeling like they are better than you. There was nothing I could do about that, but I learned to use humor as a shield to protect myself and deflect attention. But sometimes humor just wasn't enough. And when humor failed, a more direct approach was called for. "You know, if you're trying to insult me, you're going to have to work a whole lot harder than that. But I doubt that hard work is something that you're too familiar with. I have been working since I was twelve to put food on the table for my brother and sisters. I have been a plumber since I was fourteen; by the time I was fifteen, I am sure I had already spent more time ankle-deep in shit than you've spent doing honest work in your entire life. "I didn't borrow this suit from my father because I don't know who my father is; that's right, I'm a bastard. But I am a bastard by circumstance and not by choice. I was born this way, what's your excuse? And since you asked, the suit I'm wearing belonged to Erin's grandfather, and you're right, I would never be able to afford a suit like this myself. But it's an honor to wear a suit that belonged to a man who loved Erin more than anything in this world. If I am really lucky, maybe she will let me love her just as deeply one day. "I may not know that much about musicals or the theatre, but anything that brings that much joy to Erin is more than fine in my books. So, I am going to continue to have a wonderful time with Erin this evening. Why wouldn't I? I am here with the most beautiful woman in the place, or;" I swept my gaze over to Martha, who was still standing beside Erin, "tied for the most beautiful, anyway." The man's face was now distorted with anger, and he took a step towards me. I stepped forward to meet him, my eyes never leaving his. Before, I had been speaking loudly for the benefit of those around us, but now I was speaking in a controlled voice, pitched for his ears alone. "You can say what you want about me, you prick. I have no respect for arrogant shitheels like you, so I just don't care. But before you ever think about putting your hands on Erin again, without her consent, you would do well to remember the Pipe Wrench Incident. "When I was fourteen, two of the men my mother was having sex with, in exchange for drugs, decided that my sister Alison should join in their fun. She was just nine years old. Luckily, I was home at the time, but I was just a kid, and they were fully grown men. When it was over, they were in the hospital, and I was cleaning my pipe wrench with some WD-40 and a rag." I looked him up and down once, dismissively. "Remember that story the next time you're tempted to touch someone I love." I turned to Tom who had come over to stand with Martha. "I'm sorry I interrupted your lovely event, and please don't hold my bad manners against Erin. I don't want to cause any more trouble, so maybe we should be on our way." Tom held up his hand indicating that we should stay. "Dr. Allen, you're drunk and making an ass of yourself. Please see yourself out. On your way home, please consider what you would like me to say at the next Board meeting regarding your behavior tonight." As a chastened Dr. Allen left the reception, Erin leaned over and whispered in my ear, "So, I'm someone you love, am I?" Before I could stammer a reply, Erin kissed my cheek and led me away to get a drink. We avoided the topic of Dr. Allen for the rest of the evening until we were on our way back to the hotel. "Did you really put two men in the hospital with a pipe wrench?" I chuckled softly before responding. "That part of the story is 100% true. What I didn't mention, though, was that they were both stoned at the time and facing the other direction. They would have killed me in a fair fight." It was close to midnight by the time we made it back to the hotel. We held each other's hands as we walked to the elevators, and Erin leaned against me as the doors closed. "Davis, how would you like this evening to end?" My heart started racing and my hands trembled. "I; I want to be with you. But, I have never;" "Are you still a virgin?" "I kissed a girl once, back in high school, but it was nothing like kissing you. I want you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life, but I don't want to disappoint you." Erin tried to stay calm as she replied. "So, you think that I am some kind of floozy who is going to compare you to all my past conquests?" "No, that's not it at all, I;" "Or do you think that I am so shallow that I will get mad at you if it takes a little while for you to learn what I like?" "No, I don't think that either;" "Okay, then. Here is what's going to happen. When we get to our room, you are going to move some of the furniture out of the way, while I put on some music. You still remember how to dance, right? And then we will take things slowly. I will let you know what makes me feel good, and you will let me know what makes you feel even better. And we will be together, and that's all that matters." And that is what happened. Erin started a playlist of songs that she liked, and we slowly danced together in our room. After the first song ended, she nuzzled into my chest as she loosened my tie and undid the first two buttons of my shirt. When the next song started, she started gently kissing and then licking my chest, causing my manhood to stiffen almost painfully. "Well, hello, my rather large friend. You need to be patient, for now. But if you're good, I may kiss you as well before the night is done." Her sensuous voice, and the image it evoked, were definitely not conducive to patience, and I let out a low moan of pleasure. "That's what I like to hear," she murmured as she untucked my shirt and continued to undo my buttons until she could run her tongue over my nipples and tweak them with her teeth. She looked up at me with sultry, half-lidded eyes. "It's okay for you to touch me as well if you want," she said, as she took one of my hands and slid it under the back of her dress and down to her silky-smooth cheeks. She slid my other hand under the front of her dress so that it cupped her tit, and she sucked in a breath as I stroked my callused thumb over her nipple. "Now some women like it when you;" I kissed her before she could finish her thought. "Erin, I don't care what some women like, the only woman I want is you." "Oh," she replied in a breathy voice. "Well, I like it when you're a bit rougher with my tits. Not right away, I need to be in the mood; like I am now;" She lost her train of thought as my hand enveloped and massaged her tit, squeezing her nipple lightly between my thumb and forefinger as I lifted it away from her body. "Mmmm, yes. Just like that, baby." I felt a wave of heat roll up the fingers on my other hand, so I slid it further down until I felt a small triangle of material, that was slick with liquid heat. I slipped my finger a little further and felt her long smooth cunt open at my touch. "Oh, Baby," Erin whispered huskily into my ear. "We are going to have so much fun tonight." It was strange going back to my regular life after my night with Erin. The time with her was so incredible, and so beyond anything I could ever have imagined, that it didn't seem real. To be continued in part 4. Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts, for Literotica.

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Raul and Caroline warmly welcome guests to Rancho La Bellota, their 2,800-acre guest ranch located in Tecate, Baja, California. Nestled in a valley of mature oak trees, thirty minutes on a dirt road from the Ruta de Vino, Rancho La Bellota is located very close to the border but feels so very far away. Since my first visit in 2022, Rancho La Bellota has become my second home—and my first stop in Baja. Every Slow Baja Adventure begins here. Honestly, I usually linger a day or two after each trip, recharging and resetting before heading home.There's no cell service at the ranch, and the wifi—available discreetly at the Starlink cabin—is easy to forget. Guests quickly fall into the rhythms of ranch life: coffee is ready at 6:30 AM, and after enjoying a cup on the porch, everyone gathers in the sun-washed dining room for a hearty breakfast.After breakfast, it's time to ride. The ranch's horses, all retired from working cattle, are thoughtfully matched to each rider's ability and experience—Raul deftly distributes them with the practiced hand of a Vegas dealer. At lunch, longtime guests playfully debate who drew the best mount and scheme to claim that horse on their next visit.After lunch, a siesta beckons, followed by perhaps another ride or a friendly round of horseshoes. As dusk settles, the candlelit dining room fills with laughter and lively conversation. Raul presides over the table, sparking gentle debates about the news of the day. Later, we retreat to the bar, and Raul pours and imparts his tequila knowledge. The evening winds down by the campfire—bedtime comes early at 9 PM, affectionately called “Baja Midnight.”Raul is a passionate overlander, piloting a custom pop-top 1969 Chevrolet Suburban he designed himself. He frequently welcomes fellow overlanders journeying along the Baja Peninsula, though he gently reminds guests that Rancho La Bellota isn't a free campground. As a proud Baja California native, Raul enthusiastically shares his wisdom and stories, helping travelers get the most out of their Pan-American Highway adventure.Rancho La Bellota is Slow Baja Approved!Book your stay at Rancho La Bellota here.Follow Rancho La Bellota on Facebook.Listen to the 2022 Slow Baja Podcast here.Support the Slow Baja Podcast here.Buy Baja Bound Insurance here.

Welcome back to another episode of the unSeminary podcast. Today we're joined by Scott Landry, Senior Pastor of The Bridge in Ontario. Scott first joined the church in 2013 as a worship and student pastor before later stepping into the senior pastor role. Is your leadership marked by hidden wounds? Do you struggle with vulnerability in your ministry? Are you fighting the wrong battles—externally and internally? Scott recently released his first book, The Fight, a raw, deeply reflective look at the internal battles that shape our lives. Tune in as Scott's story of redemption after hitting rock bottom offers an honest, hopeful picture of what it looks like to stop hiding, confront the truth, and let God rebuild what was lost. Honesty after years of hiding. // After ten years as a “professional Christian”, hiding behind his seminary degree, thriving ministry, external success, Scott’s internal life was crumbling. His marriage ended, his relationship with his daughter was severed, his ministry collapsed, and he hit emotional and spiritual rock bottom. That collapse became the catalyst for transformation—choosing vulnerability and refusing to fake spiritual health. Sharing scars, not open wounds. // Leadership requires discernment about transparency. Scott embraces the principle: share your scars, not your wounds. There is a kind of vulnerability that belongs with counselors, trusted friends, and Jesus alone—and another kind that can help others heal. For Scott, his book, The Fight, became a way to share healed places that might help protect others from making the same mistakes he had. Vulnerability isn't weakness; rather, it's a gift. The act of going first as a leader gives others the courage to do the same. Fighting the right battles. // One of the dangers we face is fighting the wrong battles. Scott uses the story of David and Eliab to illustrate how church leaders often get pulled into conflict—criticism, social media arguments, internal comparison—and miss the “Goliath” right in front of them. We often fight against the people we are supposed to fight for, especially in ministry. Learning to focus on the right fights is essential for healing. The breaking point—and the voice of God. // One of the most powerful moments in his journey is when Scott found himself alone, isolated, and furious at God. In an explosive moment of honesty, he shouted, “I don't even believe in You anymore!” And then he sensed God say: “Then who are you yelling at?” That moment shattered his illusions. His anger, he realized, was evidence of God's presence. God had been waiting for Scott at the place of his deepest anger—the place he had avoided his entire life. Pain as preparation. // Drawing from Joshua's story and the painful preparation before Israel entered the Promised Land, Scott argues that discomfort often precedes destiny. The battles we face now equip us for battles ahead. Instead of asking God to end the fight, ask God to form you through it. Scott’s leadership has since been shaped around embracing discomfort—having hard conversations early, sitting with difficult emotions, and obeying God before understanding. Obedience in writing the book. // Writing The Fight began as an act of pure obedience. Scott resisted God's nudge for a year, until finally acknowledging that he couldn't ask God to bless one area of his life while disobeying Him in another. Once he opened a blank document, the first draft poured out in just three days. The writing became a healing process—one he initially believed was meant only for his children. The surprise has been how deeply his congregation has embraced his honesty and resonated with his story. Visit www.bridgechurches.ca to learn more about The Bridge, and pick up Scott’s book ,The Fight, on Amazon. To connect with Scott, find him on Instagram at @scottmlandry. Thank You for Tuning In! There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I'm grateful for that. If you enjoyed today's show, please share it by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes, they're extremely helpful when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally! Thank You to This Episode’s Sponsor: SermonDone Hey friends, Sunday is coming… is your Sermon Done?Pastor, you don't need more pressure—you need support. That's why you need to check out SermonDone—the premium AI assistant built exclusivelyfor pastors. SermonDone helps you handle the heavy lifting: deep sermon research, series planning, and even a theologically aligned first draft—in your voice—because it actually trains on up to 15 of your past sermons. But it doesn't stop there. With just a click, you can instantly turn your message into small group guides, discussion questions, and even kids curriculum. It's like adding a research assistant, a writing partner, and a discipleship team—all in one. Try it free for 5 days. Head over to www.SermonDone.com and use promo code Rich20 for 20% off today! Episode Transcript Rich Birch — Hey friends, welcome to the unSeminary podcast. So glad that you have decided to tune in. You are going to be rewarded today. We’ve got a great conversation lined up. I have my friend Scott Landry with us. He is the lead pastor at a fantastic church called The Bridge in or just outside of Ottawa, Ontario. Rich Birch — He joined the team in 2013 as the pastor of worship and student ministry and now serves as the senior pastor. Just being totally honest, friends, Scott and I are friends in real life. So it’s, these are actually, I find some of the funnier conversations because it’s like this weird conceit of like, we’ve got microphones between us and all of that. So, but Scott, welcome. So glad you’re here today.Scott Landry — Honored to be here with you, and better yet to be your friend.Rich Birch — This is going to be good. This is I’m really look looking forward to today’s conversation. So, um ah dear listener, I’m just going to pull back the the curtain. I really want you to listen in. Scott is an incredible leader and is doing, there’s lots of different things we could talk about, the way you’re using his his leadership and the church is growing and making an impact. And he’s got a bunch of platinum problems that he’s trying to figure out. And you know, where to get space and all that. But, but actually is none of that I want to talk about today. Actually, earlier this year, Scott released and a book. He wrote a book called “The Fight”. And what we’re going to talk about today is a little bit of the content, what it’s about and what led him to that process. And and then about ah the impact on ah his church. And I really want you to listen to in friends, think there’s a lot we can we can take out of this. Rich Birch — Why don’t you, how do you describe the book? When you, someone says like, oh, you wrote a book? What’s that on? I’d love to hear that. I’ve read the book, friends, so you just so you know.Scott Landry — Yeah, um it’s honestly somewhat of an autobiography, but it’s also a personal therapy session that’s on paper. It’s a little bit of biblical perspective in light of those things. And then I think hopefully pointing people who might read it to some level of personal insight or maybe personal application to both, both my story and also more importantly, the scriptural kind of you know, underlying and all of it.Scott Landry — So yeah, it’s not a self-help book, but I think it’s a self-reflective book. Rich Birch — That’s good. Scott Landry — And kind of hoping that people, yeah, hoping that people might see their story in the midst of mine. And and what what are the things that connect or are kind of similar threads through everybody’s story. And, uh, and, and it was, it it was, it was the cheapest version of therapy I could come up with, really. It was a lot of just kind of looking at my life and trying to make sense of it and and trying to find, find words for feelings I didn’t even know I felt. And, uh, yeah. And so just kind of putting it all out there for myself and also, for my kids and then, you know, the, the, you and the three other people that might read it. So it’s great.Rich Birch — Ah, and that’s not true. A lot more people than that have read it. At the core of this book, and we’ll get into this, friends, but at the core of this book, I would say it’s a high level of transparency. Like you are, you know, you let people in on, hey, here’s some stuff that I’ve been wrestling with, you know, over these years.Rich Birch — And I think most pastors think they should be transparent. That always hasn’t been the case. I’ve been in ministry long enough that there was a time where I think people actually wanted religious leaders who seemed perfect and were like… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …they’re these like, they’ve got their whole life together. That’s not the case anymore. People are looking for, and I think leaders want to be transparent. We want we want to kind of be honest with people. But the stakes sometimes feel higher for some reason. So what kind of led you to the place where you’re like, hey, I want to be vulnerable in a way, ah in written form, with your people, with the community around you?Scott Landry — Yeah, that’s a great question. Honestly, I think it was the fact that I hadn’t been authentic and vulnerable for too long and then lost everything because of it. You know, obviously I write in the book about my journey. I was a pastor for 10 years. I had a a seminary degree and didn’t have an unSeminary one, but I had the degree on the wall and I had, you know, the…Rich Birch — The real one, the real one.Scott Landry — They’re the real one. Yeah. And, uh, but I had all of that. I had 10 years of, of experience standing on stages and preaching the gospel and sharing who Jesus was. And, but the truth is I never really bought what I’d been selling, like in a personal, intimate way. And I wouldn’t say I was good at selling it, but I, but certainly, you know, had been doing it long enough, and and and and in some ways had been successful doing that. like Like good things were happening, ministry was growing, you know people were excited. And so then there becomes this like, oh, well, the lie, it’s amazing the lies that we can tell ourselves and the things that we can convince ourselves of. Scott Landry — So as a professional Christian for 10 years, you know, talking about but all these things and then my own life being a complete mess. And so as a leader, I’m sure other leaders that are listening to this can relate like I’m a dreamer. I always have been, always will be. But I was living a nightmare. And and for I was I had actually become a villain in my own story.Scott Landry — And and and I lost everything. A marriage fell apart. A relationship with my daughter, it was was severed at a very young age. She was four. Ministry was over. Like it was it was all done in an instant. And so 10 years of of hiding and not being, not authentic just for the people, but to my own self. And so when God resurrected my life and resurrected ministry, which I never thought was gonna happen, I was like, that that can’t ever happen again.Scott Landry — And so I wanted to kind of be someone who would lead by going first and saying, you know, and, and so I’ve been vulnerable and transparent from the pulpit. But this was something else. And, and I still am not sure why God prompted me to do this, but, but I would say, I never, I never want to go back to hiding. Scott Landry — And I think, I think we hide for a lot of reasons. I think there’s pastors or leaders listening to this. We hide, ultimately, I think we can give all the excuses we want, but it’s like, who you going to tell? Who you and what are you going to tell them? And and the minute you do, it’s like, well, then I’m going to be disqualified. I’m going to lose my job. Like, so it’s like, we kind of do this thing where I think I shared with you before. It’s like, I’m going to, we we almost force ourselves into a corner and convince ourselves we’re going to fake it till we make it. And ultimately what ends up happening is we fake it till we’re found out. Scott Landry — And and that’s, I mean, we’ve we’ve heard so many stories of that. And I was just like, that happened to me and I would hate for it to happen to anyone else. And I certainly am not going to let it happen to me again.Rich Birch — Yeah, I, friends, you can see why I’ve had Scott on today. There’s a lot here to, I think that all of us need to wrestle with. In fact, one of the, when I didn’t, didn’t even told you this, this is one of the the things I was, when I was reading it, um I had a mentor, a guy I worked for earlier in my career who his life has spectacularly failed. He had to has one of these situations that’s just blown up, and ministry’s blown up and all that. Rich Birch — And ironically, I find there’s ah multiple things about his leadership that I carry with me. And one of the things that I remember him saying very early on was he was like, there’s this interesting dance we do as leaders where we let people in. We know we have to let people into our, into our story, but we only let them in far enough. Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — We only let them in some, to something. And you’re always going to draw that line somewhere. The question is, where do you draw that line? And, um you know, you’ve chosen to to be very open and say, hey, this is my experience. This is who I’ve been here. And you kind of cast it in the book, not kind of, it’s literally called “The Fight”. You cast it in the book as an internal fight, the stuff beneath the service that shapes ultimately who we become. How do you discern, where are you drawing that line? How much are we able to, how transparent can we really be?Scott Landry — Yeah. That’s a great question. I think for me, it’s a few things. I’m not sure who said it. Um, but I, I, I’ve heard it said multiple different ways, but like, you know, you share your scars, not your wounds. So I’ve kind of, I think there’s a lot of truth to that. So for me, it’s like, if I’m still bleeding, that’s for therapy. That’s for trusted friends. That’s for my wife. That’s for Jesus.Scott Landry — But if it’s a wound that has, that is healed, and somebody can see their story in it and it’s helpful for them as either they’re still bleeding or or it could prevent them from getting hurt, then to me it’s worth sharing. Scott Landry — I’ve kind of come to the conclusion in my life, vulnerability isn’t weakness. it it’ it’s It’s actually it’s actually a gift. It’s there there is something to vulnerability in sitting with someone. You and I have done this without microphones in front of us. And we’ve we’ve told things to each other with tears in our eyes. And there’s something powerful that happens. That is a gift that you give someone. And it’s a gift for for what you give them and what you share to them.Scott Landry — But it’s also the gift to them that’s like this could, I could actually do this myself. It’s freeing for me to be given this gift to know it might not be with you, but with someone I could do that too. And, and that gift, I don’t think we truly understand how freeing and the weight that could be lifted by going first in that way. So for me, I’ve just decided that’s that’s who I’m going to be moving forward. So that the book is “The Fight” and because life is a fight. And to me, vulnerability and authenticity are worth fighting for.Rich Birch — I’d love to dig into some of the some of the stuff that you actually talk about in the book, kind of dig a couple layers deeper. You write about the danger of fighting the wrong battles that we can find ourselves in conversations that we we shouldn’t be in. You know, pulling out this… talk us through that. How does that relate? How have you seen that in your life?Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — And then what is that? How do you lead differently out of that? Because, you know, how do we pick the right battles? Talk me through that.Scott Landry — Yeah, I think it’s a personal thing. It certainly applies to leadership as well on a personal level. I think many times we fight, we fight with the people we’re supposed to fight for.Scott Landry — I think we fight amongst family members and, and then, you know, times goes by and you’re like, was that even worth it? I think, so I think those things happen. It’s like, how many fights have you had with your spouse? And it’s like I’m supposed to be fighting with you, not against you. Like we’re supposed to be in this together. And I’ve seen that happen in leadership too. It’s amazing to me how church people can, can hurt each other and and fight with each other and over things like carpet and and song selections and song volume and and preaching styles.Scott Landry — And so for me in leadership, it’s fighting the wrong battles. I talk about it, the David and Eliab thing, and you know, on the, on the battlefield where Goliath is kind of waiting in the wings and it’s really the main event. And, so much could have been so different if David had wasted his time in that argument. And, and he would have been justified in doing it. I mean, his, his character was being questioned. I mean, that’s worth fighting against. And it’s like, David’s like, I don’t get time for this, right? And I think how many of us as leaders spend so much time in the comment section, we’re fighting critics and we’re missing out on the giants. Rich Birch — Yeah.Scott Landry — You know, you, you, like that that in our culture, I think, is a huge one for leaders. And it’s like…Rich Birch — Yeah, big deal.Scott Landry — …oh, we’re so…And and I’m I’m guilty of that. You know we’re the other one I struggle with, I’m sure no one listening to this could can relate to this, but I spend so I spend so much time spending energy on who’s left, and not who’s here or who could be coming. And it’s like, and and you know what? Many times the people who’ve left, they were never really here anyway. Now that’s not to say we haven’t done something wrong at times and hurt people, but it’s like, man, I’ve I’ve spent so much time trying to convince that one person. Cause I’m like, oh, Jesus would leave the 99 to go after the one. And I’m like, maybe not that one. No, I’m just kidding.Rich Birch — That’s good. I like that.Scott Landry — But you know what I mean? Like but…Rich Birch — Yes.Scott Landry — …but we do. And and it’s it’s tragic how how distracted we can become. And and we we miss out in the fights that matter most because of ones that weren’t worth fighting to begin with.Rich Birch — Well, and this this is why we’ve seen a lot of pastors make the decision, church leaders make the decision, like, I just need to step back from social media. Because it’s like, you know, it’s like it’s like it’s set up for us to pick fights with other church leaders. Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — Like, it’s like, you know, that people are out there and there’s and there seems like there are for whatever reason, there are ah brothers and sisters in the faith who, who think that it’s their job to agitate, like that they’re like the professional agitators out there. And it’s like, so then we’re fighting with some other pastor or whatever, but that’s not, that’s like a total distraction from our mission. Like this, who, that person’s going to Jesus is going to be fine. Like, what about, like you say, the people that aren’t here yet. Rich Birch — There’s a moment in the book where you describe kind of being hitting a rock bottom or hitting an emotional bottom and crying out to God. Would you mind opening up a little bit about that? What did that teach you?Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — You know, what God meets us when, when all our strength runs out.Scott Landry — Well, yeah, that the, I mean, that I hope that’s a powerful moment in the book because it was it genuinely the most powerful moment in my life. And this was this was kind of at the crescendo of my my breaking point. So after after, you know, my my marriage and my my my life specifically falling apart. And I kind of lived in a place of isolation. I was living in, in, in, in the North, Canadian North. And, I was, yeah, I was lost. I was, I was angry. Like I had so much anger. And it was, so yeah, I talk about in the book. And, and, uh, I was angry and ultimately I was angry at myself, but I was also angry at God.Scott Landry — And, um, because even after, again, making a mess of my own life. Like He didn’t make a mess of my life. Nobody made the mess of my life. I made the mess of my life. And, but then after that, I was trying to do everything right. And I was trying to, you know, do the right thing, do the right thing. And I was like, God, when are you going to start intervening on my behalf. And so, you know, being the the preacher that I am, I was like, I got all the Bible verses that tell me that you’re going to like now is you’re going to do the redemptive thing. You’re going to show up, you’re going to move, you’re going to fix, you’re going to redeem, you’re going to restore, you’re going to repair, you’re going to do all the R words. And, and nothing was happening. Like it was like… Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — …and, and it was almost as if I, heard and I literally heard nothing. And I’d like to say I didn’t feel anything, but I did. It was just this, this anger that was welling up inside of me, like a, like a pot boiling. And eventually it just, I just became unhinged. Like I was alone. And I was completely isolated. I was in this, you know, empty house and I just started crying out like, and yelling out. And I threw, I threw things. I used words I’ve, I’m ashamed to admit I used. Like, I mean, I was as unhinged as could possibly, I was like, I gotta, if I saw you face to face, I would give you the thing. Like I told him all this stuff.Scott Landry — And, and what I found in that moment was like, and again, I talk about it in the book, but like I yelled, God, I don’t even believe in you anymore. I’m done. Like, like I don’t I don’t believe. You’ve promised me that you would never leave me. You would never forsake me. And that’s exactly what you’ve done. I’ve told people that you would never leave them and forsake them. And yet you’ve done that to me. You are you are dead to me. I don’t believe in you anymore. And I even now, I still feel this when I’m just talking about it. But like, this is, and this is, I know some people are going to roll their eyes at this. But like, genuinely, when I heard myself say that, I felt this like, over me, over my house. It was like this eerie like pause. And I heard, as if I’ve ever heard the voice of God, I heard a voice say, well, then who are you yelling at? And it was like this, like… Rich Birch — Beautiful. Scott Landry — …and in that moment, it was like, my anger was, it wasn’t my degree. It wasn’t my Bible. It was, it was my anger was my evidence that God was present right then and right there. And because my anger was directed at him. And he knew that I was angry with him.Scott Landry — And he met me at the place of my anger. And he was waiting. And this is the part that I still, I can’t do this, what’s what’s in my head, into my heart justice. But it was God was saying, I’ve been waiting for you at this place your whole life.Rich Birch — Wow. Right.Scott Landry — You have been hiding from this anger from your childhood, from your young adulthood, and I’ve been waiting for you to meet me here at your anger. And I’ve I’ve wanted you to know that I would be here waiting for you. And if you met me on the top of the tallest mountain, and if you look me face to face, and if you were to give me the finger, you would find me there waiting because I am waiting at who you really are, not who you’re pretending to be.Scott Landry — And everyone around you, you’ve got them fooled and you’re used car salesman and you can spin the Bible verses and you can do all that other stuff. But I know who you really are. And I’m waiting for you to finally be honest with yourself about who you really are. And now that you finally are, now we can do something about that together.Scott Landry — And that was the moment that God truly revealed himself to me. And that’s when I, for the first time in my life, truly discovered who I was. And yeah, that that’s the moment that I hope anybody who ever meets me or talks to me or listens to me or reads in it, like that’s the part that I long for people to have before it costs them like it costs me.Rich Birch — I just want to say thank you for for going there and talking about that. Because to me, that…and friends, you should pick up a copy of the book. I’m not trying to sell the book, but you should pick up a copy and actually…it’s worth it for this interaction. Because I think as pastors, people who are in what we do, I think we can give, we can put a varnish on all of this. And it and and I love that picture of you yelling at God. And then and then he’s like, well who are you yelling at? Like, what’s, what’s you you know…Scott Landry — Yeah. You don’t believe it. You don’t believe in me, but you’re yelling at me. Yeah. Yeah. That’s it. Yeah.Rich Birch — Yes. Like, I think, I think that is such a, I don’t know, there’s so much there. And I think it’s beautiful that you would open up about that and tell, talk to us here. I feel a little bit bad because I feel like I’m getting you to mine out like one of the best parts of the book, but that, um, at its core, I think would be hard for a lot of leaders to even admit to say, because by this point, friends, again, remember the pre-story, you had been a professional Christian for a long time. Like that that you had built your life around taking money from people… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …and doing this and came to that moment of crisis. So talk to me about the road back from there. So there’s obviously, you know, between there and today, you know, something happened. So talk us through… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …kind of what were some of those key steps? We’re not going to be able to cover all of it, but some of those key things that, that God used on that journey.Scott Landry — Yeah. Well, the immediate one was that I needed to get away. I was living in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories at the time, and I needed to get to Ontario because that’s where my four-year-old daughter was. And that necessity was kind of the you know the spark of of God beginning a redemptive work in my life.Scott Landry — And and then again, had never thought that I would be back in you know ministry in terms of you know a job or a career. I I I and iI wasn’t I had no idea what I was gonna do. And so I just did what I had to do to survive.Scott Landry — And, and, and again, God just, it’s the, it’s, it’s all this cliches. It’s all the songs we sing. It’s, you know, he made beauty for ashes. He, he resurrected things I was certain was dead. And so, and, and there were, he was orchestrating things to, to, you know, provide another way for me to get back into what he called me to do, which, you know, again, I, I, it would take me a long time to, to get into it. Rich Birch — Yes. Scott Landry — But I, again, I think it was just, it was, I just took the steps I had to take because I, and, but they were the steps that he was preparing for me to take, you know? Rich Birch — Yeah, that’s good. Scott Landry — It’s and I, and I see that now, but it didn’t, it just felt like, like necessity then. But it was more than necessity. It was, it was intention. So, yeah.Rich Birch — Yeah, I don’t I don’t know if I’ve said this to you, but I think, in fact, I’m pretty sure I haven’t said this to you. One of the, you know, I mentioned, and and you know the person I’m talking about whose life fell apart. You know, one of my own reflections on that experience as a leader that was in that person’s orbit, pretty close to that orbit, in hindsight, um was we have to do a better, the collective we have to do a better job on helping people to talk about what’s going on on the inside in a way that doesn’t just immediately jump to, hey, like, you you know, you should not think that thought. Like, you know, we we need to be better at that. And I you think you’ve done a gift in this, you know, this with this book. Rich Birch — One of the things you also talked about is this whole idea that comfort can be the enemy of our calling. And I wish you didn’t write about this, but because, ah you know, it’s like convenience is and comfort are organizing principles of culture, right? That is like our entire culture is based around how do I make myself more comfortable? And and it’s true. I agree. Like I’m, you know, I’ve been on the Peloton and I’ve felt discomfortable. And then at the end of that, I’m like, I’m glad I did that in the middle of it. I was hating it. I get that. Talk us through that. What’s that journey been like in this kind of return home? How has that played a, you know, a part of that as a part of the journey?Scott Landry — Yeah, I think I think what I’ve learned is pain is always preparation. And and to me, I use the word always because I don’t see it never being that. I think there’s always something in in in a situation of discomfort or pain that is always preparing you for something that’s next for you or something that’s next for someone else that’s going to require you to be a part of it.Scott Landry — So the pain that I go through a lot of times is is you know preparing my my son or my daughter. Um, and so it’s always preparation for something. And that’s what I write about in the book, the story of Joshua, you know, it’s, it’s the most uncomfortable thought in the world that, you know, the, the, before their greatest battle, they, they’re circumcised, as, as men. And it’s like, oh, you know, that’s, that’s one conversation when the kid’s like a couple days old or eight days old as it was supposed to be. But when you’re, you know, 18, 20, that’s a whole different conversation.Scott Landry — And, Any guy that’s listening right now feels uncomfortable, but that’s, but that’s the point. God brought them to a place specifically to bring pain into their lives because of the destiny that he had for them.Scott Landry — And I think that’s just true in life, you know, it’s, and, and, and going through those things is crucial. It’s always, there’s always something next. And I think that’s the thing that I’ve, and again, I use the analogy of the fight and I tried to do that in the book because I, you know, I’m not a fighter in terms of like, I don’t do, you know, mixed martial arts or anything. I love that stuff and I love watching it. And I love boxing, which the the movie Rocky was part of the inspiration for the book or at least the theme of it.Scott Landry — And I think when you look like look at that stuff, what you always see is fighters fight a fight, so they can fight another fight. It’s like, I want to win this fight because I want to win this fight, but winning this fight sets me up for another fight that has greater reward for me.Scott Landry — And so I’m I’m inspired to win this fight because it’s going to put me or it’s going to allow me to fight on another level and another dimension. And I think, you know, in leadership, I think the challenges or the platinum problems, as you call them, you know, I think those are preparation. They’re not just to solve and the problem itself to be solved. It’s also preparation for a problem that’s coming because of getting through this one.Scott Landry — And I think when we start to see it that way and we can view the fight as like, I always pray that God will cause the fight to end. Like, God, just, just stop. Like, get me through this fight. Instead of praying, God, will you help me become the person in the midst of this fight that I need to be for the fight that’s coming down the road? It, that perspective, I think changes everything.Scott Landry — And if as leaders, we looked at our current challenges and struggles as like, hey, this is just preparation for something bigger. I think we’d i think we’d go into it a whole lot differently. And I think we would be willing to endure it just and with a different mindset. And so, yeah, that’s that’s what I’ve I’ve come to discover my own life through this thing.Rich Birch — Like our friend T.D. Jakes said, every level, a new devil. Like it’s like, right?Scott Landry — Yeah, yeah, totally.Rich Birch — This idea of like, hey, we’re going to get through this, but then that’s just going to open up something else that we got to get through. And I think that’s, I think it’s a great metaphor and is, I see too many people who are, and it could be, you know, people of my age or whatever.Rich Birch — I must, you know, you reach a certain age with enough zeros on the end. You hit a couple of those zero birthdays. And then you look around at your friends and you’re like, the people that, that don’t inspire me are the ones that are hitting the coast mode. Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — That are like, Hey, I’m going to try to, i’m going to try to make life more comfortable. It’s the people that are saying, no, let’s lean in. Let’s look, what can we do next? What is the thing that God’s got for us? I love that. Well…Scott Landry — Well, I tell people, oh, sorry, I was just going to say just…Rich Birch — Go ahead. No, go ahead.Scott Landry — …well, just to to kind of follow up on that. I think practically, what does that mean? Or what does that look like for us? Like, I you know, we talk to our staff all the time, right? I, you know, constantly tell them it’s like, to embrace that means in leadership, you’ve got to have uncomfortable conversations now because you’re going to have them anyway. Rich Birch — Right.Scott Landry — So comfort tells us, oh, like if I just let it go or if I just like, no, you’re you’re just prolonging the inevitable conversation. So have it now. Rich Birch — Yeah.Scott Landry — You know, or or you sit with emotions that you’re feeling. You got to sit with them a little longer before you act on them. That’s not comfortable. We want to just, you know, so it’s that balance. Like it’s, It’s, ah you know, even obeying before understanding, right?Scott Landry — Like, like you’ve got like all those lessons and those places of discomfort, I think are all preparation pieces for the greater thing. So…Rich Birch — Yeah, that’s so good.Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — Yeah. And even in the physical world, like I was thinking about this when I was on my Peloton prepping for this. And I know you have Peloton, that like there was a time when there would be numbers on the screen in front of me that those numbers felt like death. Like I’m like, this is not like, I can’t keep doing this. But then what happens over time is you, your body acclimatizes to that, right? You become healthier. You get your cardiovascular system, your VO2 max grows, and then you’re able to, ah you know, to carry more. And I think that is true in leadership. I think that’s true in our spiritual life. I think there is like a, you know, kind of bearing on the weight of it. And um yeah, I think that’s very true. Rich Birch — Okay. I’d love to pivot in a totally different direction. So, you know, again, friends, you should pick up a copy of the book because I think it’ll be great. It’s spiritually enriching experience for you. I think this book could be helpful in like, there’s lots of conversations where I’m like, I think, I think this could be one of those books you have on your shelf. And you said, Hey, you know what, why don’t you read this book? This might help you think through, you know, might be a real encouragement. So I will, we’ll get to where you can get that in a minute. Rich Birch —But I want to kind of talk more about kind of the meta experience of you as a pastor, writing a book, choosing to do that. When you first introduced me to this idea, I still remembered it. You were like, I do not want to write a book. I am writing a book. Like, and it was like this, I am compelled. It is by obedience that I am, who knows? I think literally the thing you said to me the first time, and it was through tears, was like, I’m not really even sure why like I’m doing this thing, who knows? So talk to me about that obedience. What did that first step look like? Kind of help me ah or understand the process. Talk about that a little bit.Scott Landry — Yeah, it’s funny. You did a great version of me there. That’s exactly how I said it. And that’s exactly how I felt. And I honestly, I still feel that way, even now that it’s out there in in the world. Yeah, it was totally an act of of obedience. Scott Landry — And so for context, two years ago, my family vacations in Florida. I, I have no shame. I mooch off my in-laws who have a condo there. My wife and I both lived there at one, at one point. So it’s kind of like going home. Scott Landry — But anyway, long story, I was running on the beach. And, and I just, I felt like the Lord just stopped me and he gave me two very clear directives for the next chapter of my life. One was about the church and the other was to write a book.Scott Landry — And the first one made complete sense to me. And the other one still makes absolutely no sense to me. I am not an, writer. I’m not an author. I’m not ah like, and who am I? Like all this kind of, you know, who am I syndrome started kicking in and and I was just like, whatever. So I came back two years ago and I got to work on the first one and ignored the second one.Scott Landry — And I ignored the second one, writing a book for an entire year. And then on my birthday in September, I just, I felt like I was, I was genuinely like, how can I ask God to bless this first thing that he’s asked me to do if I’m being disobedient in this other thing that he’s asked me to do? And I, I don’t understand it. So to me, I’m, that justifies why I’m not doing it. And I was like, I’ve got to be obedient to this, whether I understand it or not. So that’s what I did. And so for me, obedience was opening a blank document. And just starting. And that’s what I did.Scott Landry — And it was, and I don’t know if you’ve had this experience, Rich, but it was amazing to me. I’ve had writer’s block for sermons. This poured out of me… Rich Birch — Wow. Scott Landry — …in a way I was not expecting. Like it it was the draft that you read of the book or the first draft of the book was done in a little over three days.Rich Birch — Yeah.Scott Landry — It just…Rich Birch — Well, that surprised me even, you know, cause I remember you were, and that hasn’t been my experience with writing. It’s been like, I have found it like arduous. But I remember you’re like, Oh, I’m going away. I’m going to this thing. And then it was like, Oh yeah, I got it done. And I was like, wow. Like that’s, that’s incredible. That’s amazing. And then obviously then there’s all the editing and you got to actually get it.Scott Landry — Well, yeah, I, yeah, everything after that was way longer than I or wanted it to be um um for sure.Rich Birch — Yes. Yes.Scott Landry — And way more than I expected it to be. But I think, I think I needed to me, to me, it was a piece of, it was a document that was basically like a therapy session that didn’t cost me anything other than time…Rich Birch — Right. Right.Scott Landry — …that I needed to get a lot of stuff off my chest and and off my heart. And it just, I needed to open that document to do it. And I think maybe that is, and it didn’t occur to me until just now, that that may be the very reason that God wanted me to do it… Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — …was to free me of that so I could be released to do whatever has nothing about to do about the book. It just was his way of getting me to get through it.Rich Birch — Yeah. Well, and I remember at one point, um hopefully I’m not outing something. We can cut this if you don’t want me to say this, but I remember at one point you were saying like, even if I just have it for my daughter, that would be a gift, right?Rich Birch — Like it’s like for her at some point to read this would be, um you know, a gift. Actually, I know a friend of mine who has literally done that has written full books and literally got like got them printed and given it just to them for their kids.Scott Landry — Yeah.Rich Birch — You know, tens of thousands of words. So yeah, that’s, that’s, ah that’s incredible. So, you know, the writing of books in general, is I find the line between writing and thinking is very blurry. Like it’s like, it’s like almost in my mind, like it’s kind of the same thing. Like it’s the same activity. There’s obviously writing involved, but it’s like, it’s, it costs, it’s a, or it, it drives a lot of reflection, honesty, you know, thinking about all that stuff. Was there anything as you went through this therapy process of writing that actually just surprised you about like, Oh wow. Like that was either my reflection on that was different or, um, you know, we’re, you know, like anything surprised you through the process process?Scott Landry — Yeah, there was a…good question. There was a couple things for sure. One of them was I had to go check. It’s amazing how your memory can be your greatest enemy. I remembered certain things a certain way and then going back and talking to my mother. Again, spoiler alert – I grew up in a single parent household. My mom is my hero, strongest woman ever.Scott Landry — Anyways, and I write about her and, and my life growing up and what she had to do to get us through. So, so going back and, and, and really at as an adult, getting the details of what actually happened and what my perception of what happened happened. It was it was It was much worse than I understood…Rich Birch — Oh, wow.Scott Landry — …and what she endured and went through. And I gained a level of admiration from my, I thought I admired her, but I gained a level of admiration that is a gift. And, and, and every child should have the gift to see their parents the way that I see my mom. She is, she is amazing. Scott Landry — So that, that’s one. The other one was, was I there was some things that I, I learned along the way. I think the first one was that I found was about the, the resentment that I had towards my father. And I, and, and I, as I was writing it, God just kind of revealed this to me that, that adapting, adapting to loss is different than than winning a fight. And I had adapted to the pain of what I had lost. And I thought that was the same thing as winning that fight against resentment. And they’re not the same thing. Scott Landry — And that was that that was a real breakthrough moment for me. I was in a cabin near a ski hill as I was writing that. And it was like i was almost like I was watching a movie, watching myself have a moment. Rich Birch — Wow. Scott Landry — And it was just this this really beautiful moment between God and I. And I was just like, wow, God, thank you for for showing that to me. And then, give me the words to articulate this to my kids. Cause you’re right. I, I did first and foremost, write this for my kids, Emma and Parker. And I wanted them to know, you know, who they come from, what they come from. And, and, and hopefully if I never get the chance to tell them, they’ve got this to fall back on. And then my wife being my wife was like, well, if you’re going to do it for them, you might as well go all the way. So, so that’s, that’s, that’s what we did.Rich Birch — Wow. Okay. So what did this process teach you as you’ve now, cause you’ve launched this book, it’s out in the world. You’ve, you can get it on Amazon. You, you know, it’s, you’ve done a series at the church. You’ve talked about it. You know, if you’ve been public about it. Rich Birch — What did the launching of that teach you about your congregation, about your church? What resonated? What, how, how was it helpful? Any conversations that sparked kind of what was the impact that you’ve, now that you’ve landed this in, in your church?Scott Landry — Yeah. Oh, I just got emotional there thinking about your question as you’re asking it. I think… what I talk about in the book, Rich, is that I’m a very insecure person. And and as a leader, I’m an insecure leader. And always, you know, that that dance between, you know, being authentic about who you are at the same time, the insecurity about that. And it’s, Lisa, my wife tells me all the time, if people knew how insecure you are, they they wouldn’t believe it, because you don’t present that way.Scott Landry — But I was very insecure about doing this thing and the people that I serve, and and and journey together with seeing me in a way that they might change their mind about me. But the people at The Bridge, they love me, and they are so gracious to me. And I what I’ve discovered is that me being honest about who I am is is who they’ve wanted me to be the whole time.Scott Landry — And so everybody that’s read the book, I shouldn’t say everybody, but I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from the people at The Bridge just thanking me for telling my story and then them saying so much of that I relate to, so much of that I needed right now telling me things about themselves that I had no idea was happening in their lives. And this has only been out for like a month. Scott Landry — And so I’ve just gotten overwhelmed with, with people’s responses. And, and I think for our church, you know, one of our values is authentic storytelling And so, um, it just so happens that as a leader, you get to go first Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — And, and, and and in order for that value to be more than something that’s just plastered on a wall or a website, like I had, I didn’t know it was going to be in in the form of a book. But I do see that, that people are opening up in ways that, you know, just in the, in the in the last month to me and in others. So, yeah, but that that’s the thing that that i’ve I’ve seen in our church is just um that that I’ve been insecure about how I’m seen as a leader and and they’ve shown me that that they love me. And that’s the greatest gift, I’m telling you.Rich Birch — Yeah, it’s so cool, man. I love that. That’s, and thanks for being vulnerable in your sharing there. Like I think I, you know, I think there is anyone that’s written has had a book definitely has those feelings on the inside of like, oh man, this was a bad idea like why am I doing this. And like I’m you know, the stuff I’ve written about is nowhere near as, you know, personal and tender as what you’ve written. And I can identify exactly with what you’re saying there around the like, what will people think of me? You know, and it’s amazing. Rich Birch — So trying to extract a bit of, you know, there might be people that are listening and I hope there’s people that are listening in who would think like, maybe I should write a book. Or maybe, maybe they had a similar experience where God told them to write a book and they’ve been dragging their feet. Scott Landry — Yeah, yeah. Rich Birch — What would be a couple kind of just practical takeaways, like maybe things you would say, I wish I would have known this before timelines, collaboration, editing, any of that kind of stuff.Scott Landry — Yeah. Well, the first thing I would do is thankfully what I did, was talk to people who have done it. So you were one of those people and I was hoping that you were going to convince me not to do it. Thanks thanks for letting me down. But yeah, just like, and, and, you know, it’s like, Hey, talk to a few different people and, and, and, you know, what’s their process is and and kind of what they did. Scott Landry — But the other thing that I learned quickly was everybody that I talked to does it differently. And so it wasn’t about figuring out the process. It was about finding my own. Rich Birch — Yep.Scott Landry — And so I kind of leaned on what I know of myself and how I kind of operate. And so that was one.Scott Landry — I think the other one was You know, however much time you think it’s going to take, double it and then add some to that. Like it’s way more time than you think it’s going to going to take.Scott Landry — I would, you know, what do they say? Like find people in your life who tell you what you need to know, not what you want to hear. Like it’s like whoever you’re going to invite into the process with you, like you want to collaborate with people who are going to tell you the truth, not that you’re profound. It’s like, yeah, like I, I wanted this to be the best that it could be for my kids.Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — And that’s why I asked, you know, you and a few others. And so, um, and then I think, you know, the other one is, is really have a clear, at least for me, and I don’t know if this is true for you, but it’s like, I’m sure it is, like, you know who you’re writing to and who you’re writing for. Rich Birch — Right. Scott Landry — And I think that has to be like, every time I sat down, like after a coffee and was like, okay, here, we’re opening up the laptop again, it was like, I pictured Emma. I pictured Parker. This is who I’m writing this for. It’s like who, so whether if it’s a, if it’s a book for your church, if it’s a book for leaders, you know, whoever that’s for is like have a very clear picture in your mind, who your audience is and and imagine faces that represent those people.Scott Landry — Because I think it, to me at least, is it makes it less about the content and it brings the heart into it. And I think that I hope that and is what engages people more than, because I’m not a writer. But I hope my heart comes through the words that are on the pages. And I think that’s just because I had those two beautiful kids in mind.Rich Birch — Yeah, that’s cool. That’s a great, that’s a great tip. I, the, that idea of focusing who is the person. And I worked at a church that had a very robust practice kind of sermon practice process. And that’s one of the things, one of the questions we would often ask is like, who are you preaching this to? And I loved, cause our lead guy, he would get like really specific. It wouldn’t be like, it’s not like, well, I’m generally thinking 33 year old, you know, guys that are married. He’d be like, Scott Landry… Scott Landry — Yeah. Rich Birch — …you know, like he would like, it’s like he would pick out a specific person. He said, I’m hoping that that that’s who I’m thinking about. And that always struck me as like, I think that’s a part of what gave him great kind of power in his communication because it wasn’t this vague idea of like this, some general target. It’s like, no, I’m talking to this person and I want to, I want to communicate in a way that will move them. I think that’s great when you think about from a book point of view. Rich Birch — Well, I want to encourage people to pick up a copy of the book. But before we get there, any kind of last words about any of this that you want to share? You’ve been so generous with your time today.Scott Landry — No, I appreciate your time. I appreciate you having me on. And if anybody’s gotten to the end of this podcast and is even considering, you know, getting a copy of the book, I guess my heart for you would be to discover what I discovered the hard way, but I hope that it doesn’t require you to to find out the hard way is that that God truly knows who you truly are. And all he desperately wants is for you to be honest about who he already knows you are. And and then he wants to release that person for the purpose that he has for them. And so I pray that it doesn’t take whoever you are, you losing what I lost to find that. I hope that you will be wiser than I was. Learn, you know, don’t learn from your own mistakes, learn from mine. And, and, and, and find yourself because you’re going to find God there waiting. And I hope that for you and pray that for you.Rich Birch — That’s good. That’s great. So we want to send people to Amazon. Is that the best place that they can pick up copies of this book? Is there anywhere else we want to send them just as we wrap up today’s episode?Scott Landry — No, yeah, Amazon, the book “The Fight” is there. Can also follow me on Instagram. Keep updates there – @scottmlandry. Yeah, you can see pictures my sneakers. That’s about it.Rich Birch — It’s great. Thanks so much, Scott. Appreciate you being here.Scott Landry — Thank you, Rich.

With the Mega Dimension DLC out for Pokémon Legends ZA, our resident Pokéxperts gathered share their wishes for the next iteration of the series. Honestly, a lot of the main mechanics have been pretty ironed out over time, so we delve into a bit more of the hardcore fan desire in this one.  Also! If you enjoyed this, we've launched a new watchalong podcast over on our Patreon, Podcastémon Horizons! In it, us 3 are watching and discussing the Pokémon Horizons anime series. The first episode is free right here:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/podcastemon-001-145863303In addition, we've been doing the same with the original Ash run of the anime and are currently in the Johto run. The first 5 episodes are free here:https://www.patreon.com/collection/387580?view=expandedMORE PLACES TO FIND USCrubscribe ► https://bit.ly/CrubcastGet the show early and get exclusive content at our Patreon ► https://www.patreon.com/crubOur Crubcasts are recorded LIVE at https://www.twitch.tv/crub_official every Tuesday at 7pm Eastern, with EXCLUSIVE Pre- and Post-ShowsJoin our Discord ► https://crub.org/joinBlueSky ► https://bsky.app/profile/crub.orgCome join our Steam group ► https://steamcommunity.com/groups/crubclubPodcasts are available on Apple, Google, Spotify, and other platforms are available at ► https://crub.orgSHOW NOTESWe mention Cassette Beasts, so we wanna toss a link for it here:https://www.cassettebeasts.com/TODAY'S CRUBCAST HOSTSChris: https://www.youtube.com/@MykonosFanJustin: https://www.youtube.com/@WorldFamousJtart9Kevin: https://www.youtube.com/@TheGoldenBoltCHAPTERS00:00 Finding a balance between fanservice and never having old characters around05:36 A return to bespoke, crafted areas in the world11:24 Let's refine an old battle gimmick instead of making another new one17:24 Better Pokemon Home communication and a new game plus mode?20:21 Fewer but longer versions of Legends ZA's sidequests24:45 A return to a narrative throughline, not an endgame plotdump27:39 Our "pie in the sky" wishes ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Michigan Weather and Women: Part 2 Dancing, and other forms of sentimentality. Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Connected.  As we finished the prep work, I asked Wilma about her day with Mary. "She is a good kid but is carrying a lot of anger and shame. We spent most of the day getting in touch with that anger. It takes some people years before they can express their emotions through art; it took her about five minutes. But we had to take some breaks to clean up the paint splatters afterward before they stained." "Oh shit! Sorry about that. I can pay to replace anything that;" "Nothing to apologize for; I asked her to express how she felt, and she did it in the way that felt right to her." "Well, I appreciate your taking the time. I am just her big brother; I feel so lost when it comes to parenting." "Being a parent doesn't mean that you know any more than anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean that you know any better. For what it's worth, I think you are doing a fine job with your family. I know that you don't have your parents around to say it, but this old woman is mighty proud of who you are and of how you have stepped up for your brother and sisters. They are very lucky to have you." I turned away so that Wilma wouldn't see me getting choked up. I couldn't remember the last time that someone had said they were proud of me. Soon enough, though, it was dinner time, and Erin came into the kitchen with that same look of amusement on her face. "Sorry to bother the chef, but Lane needs some help that only a big brother can provide." When I gave her a quizzical look, she blushed. "It seems like he is going through puberty, which can pose; some new challenges. When I was assessing his ankle, he; well, indicated his interest in me in a way that can be difficult to hide, particularly while wearing sweatpants. It's natural for his body to react that way at that age, and it's nothing for him to feel badly about, but he was mortified. I think he could use a bit of brotherly guidance and understanding." I went to the living room and saw that Lane was curled up on the couch and looked like he was fighting back tears. "How are you doing, Buddy?" He couldn't even look at me he was so embarrassed. "I am so sorry; I just couldn't help it. I don't know why it started to get bigger, and I wanted it to stop, and it wouldn't and then she saw me, and;" he continued as he fought back a sob. "Can we just go home?" "Erin is a doctor. She knows how the human body works and has seen that kind of thing a hundred times. She isn't mad at you or embarrassed. She just feels bad that you feel so bad. This is just part of getting older and growing up. "Did I ever tell you about what happened in Miss Iron's class when I was a freshman? Miss Iron was a bit of a legend among the male students at our local high school. She was the youngest and prettiest teacher, by far, and even though she always dressed professionally, the clothing style had yet to be invented that could fully conceal her bountiful natural endowment. "Well, I liked Miss Irons a lot. She was one of the few teachers who looked past my difficulty with reading and writing. So, I developed a little crush on her, which was fine until the inevitable; hmm, physical demonstration of my crush; happened in class one day, just before she asked me to collect everyone's quizzes. I tried to delay, I tried to ask a friend to do it instead, but eventually, I had to stand up. It took me until my junior year to live that one down." As Lane listened to my story, he turned to face me and his second-hand embarrassment for me helped to push his embarrassment to the side. "So, what happened?" "Miss Irons was lovely and kind like she always was, but I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me or to get hit by a bolt of lightning. Things would have been fine if she hadn't mentioned what happened to the principal, who called Mom. She didn't find the story funny at all." I hadn't thought of the aftermath when I started telling Lane this particular story, but as they say, might as well put it in four-wheel drive and keep going. "Mom was mad?" "By then, Mom was pretty much always angry. I did my best to keep her away from you and the girls when she got that way, but yeah; she was mad." "Are you mad at me?" "No, Bud, I'm not. In a few years, once your embarrassment has died down a little, I will tease you mercilessly about this because that's what brothers do; and maybe threaten to tell your girlfriend, if you fall behind on your chores or homework. But I will never get mad at you for something that you can't control. And I promise that Erin isn't mad at you either." Just then, Mary poked her head in to tell us that dinner was on the table. "Are you safe now, or do you need a few more minutes." "I'm good. Thanks, Dad." After I helped Lane hobble into the dining room, we got down to the business of eating and teasing each other, but not necessarily in that order. It felt good; almost like what I imagined a real family would feel like. Eventually, the conversation turned to more serious matters, though, and Erin led off the questions. "So, how do you know Gran, and why are you wearing Grampy's favorite sweater? And, for what it's worth, I don't remember him filling it out in quite the way that you do." I blushed a bit as Wilma jumped in. "If Phillip had filled out that sweater like young Davis here, it wouldn't have stayed on him for very long, I can tell you that." "Gran!" Erin exclaimed, laughing while sounding scandalized. "I didn't need that mental image. Heck, none of us needed that mental image." "Oh, don't you worry, Dear. He still filled it out well enough, and it looked equally good on our bedroom floor." We were pretty much all blushing at that point, which I think was Wilma's objective, so I quickly changed the topic. "I am just your mother's plumber. I came out to fix her boiler and then finished the job earlier this week when a couple of parts came in that I needed." Wilma jumped in at that point and added her two cents to my story. "He also brought me my groceries and we had a lovely conversation. He is a real Renaissance gentleman, a rarity these days." Erin looked grateful but concerned. "Did you have enough money to cover the bill, Gran? You know I can help if you need;" I tried to jump in before Wilma could reply. "No need to worry, the bill was paid in full;" "Hogwash," Wilma exclaimed as I tried to finish, turning to Mary before she continued. "Your brother wouldn't let me pay him a cent for the work that he did. Not even for the parts that needed to be replaced! He is a very nice boy but a terrible businessman." I turned to Erin for support. "I figured your Gran has enough going on right now with her health and all. It was the least I could do to help her out." Erin looked at me with a strange expression on her face. I didn't have much experience with women, so I figured I must have made her angry somehow. Most of my interactions with women, including my sisters, seemed to end with them being upset with me for one reason or another, but she didn't sound angry when she spoke. "Thank you, Davis, that was very sweet of you." "Yeah, well; you see, it's just; pass the fish, please." "That still doesn't explain why you're wearing Grampy's favorite sweater. When I was a little girl, I used to curl up in Grampy's lap and snuggle into that sweater as he read to me. He was wearing it when I danced my first dance with him in front of the fireplace. Do you remember that old record player, Gran? You used to bring it out and we would waltz around the living room to Moon River." "I still have that record player here somewhere, let me go see if I can find it." Erin started to protest, but it was too late. "To finish answering your question, Erin, we were here today because your Gran offered to mentor Mary. I tried to politely decline, but your Gran is pretty persistent when she wants to be." "That sounds like Gran. Most of the time when she makes a suggestion, it is really a command." "While we are asking questions, how is Lane's ankle?" "It's pretty badly sprained, and he will need to use crutches to walk for the next couple of weeks. You should bring him to the hospital to get some X-rays done as well, to make sure that he doesn't have any fractures." I could feel myself deflate as she mentioned X-rays. "I'm not trying to be cheap, but are the X-rays absolutely necessary? We don't have the best insurance; we got it through the exchange. I guess it's better than nothing, but the deductible is pretty high, and my other sister, Alison, her college tuition is due soon. But if you say it's important, I will put in some extra hours to make it work." It didn't usually bother me that we were poor. Heck, most everyone we knew, except the McDougals, was poor. But it hit home when you had to tell a beautiful doctor with bright amber eyes that you couldn't afford an X-ray for your little brother unless it was urgent. "Tell you what. I will be working at the hospital in Petoskey tomorrow, so why don't you bring Lane by, and I will take care of him? I will make sure that he gets a pair of loaner crutches for as long as he needs them." "You don't need to do that for us." Erin gave me another one of her looks, this one I was more familiar with; I was pretty sure it was annoyance. "So, just to be clear, you can look after my Gran, fix her boiler for free, and bring her groceries whenever you feel like it, but I can't look after your brother and make sure that his ankle is treated properly?" "Well, when you put it that way, I sound like a bit of a jackass. I'm sorry." "Apology accepted. Come by the hospital at 11 AM tomorrow." Before we could continue, the sound of a 45 playing on an old record player filled the house. You could hear the hisses and pops before Ella Fitzgerald's voice began to sing "Dream a Little Dream of Me." Chapter 3. We got up from the table and followed the music back to the living room. I helped Lane out of his chair while he half-hobbled and half-hopped along beside me. Wilma had set her ancient record player up in the corner beside a stack of old 45s, and she had a faraway look in her eyes as she looked out the picture window toward the lake. "I think it's time for me to ask the prettiest girl in the place to dance," I said, as my eyes swept across the room. "But unfortunately, it's a three-way tie. So, will you do me the honor?" I said as I held out my hand to Wilma. "I haven't danced since Phillip passed. You know, we used to dance together every Friday night. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing, we would always make time to dance at least one song together, even if the music was only in our heads." "I imagine I will be a pretty poor partner compared to Phillip, but I will try not to step on your toes." Wilma and I ended up dancing a slow foxtrot to "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole. She smiled at me as we slowly circled the living room. "You're a very good dancer, young man." "Our mother taught me when I was very young." Before she began with the drugs and men, our mother had been a showgirl in New York and then Las Vegas. When she got pregnant with me, she moved back to Mackinaw City and started teaching ballroom dancing at a local studio. By the time I was five, I was her practice partner of choice, and she always insisted that I lead, despite being only half her size. "The man always leads, Darling, that's just the way of the world." I was hardly a man at the time, but I never disagreed with my mother when she was in a good mood, because I knew it could shift in an instant. So, I learned to dance, and I learned to lead. The memories came flooding back as I guided Wilma into a soft over-sway, and she smiled with delight. "Oh my, you do know how to dance!" I couldn't help but smile back. "I can't take all the credit. I think Phillip must have infused this sweater with his fancy footwork." As the song ended, I took a step back and did my best to give Wilma a gracious bow. "It was a pleasure dancing with you, my lady." "The pleasure was all mine, good sir." I turned toward Mary and held out my hand. She hesitated before Wilma declared, "There are no wallflowers in this house." Mary slowly stood but looked anxious as I took her hand. "Davis, I don't know how to dance. Mom was; she was too far gone to teach me by the time I was old enough to learn." "That's okay," I reassured her. "If there is anything that Mom made sure of, it's that I know how to lead. Just relax, and I will guide you through it." Wilma helped Lane, who had taken over as DJ, to choose a slower song so that Mary would feel more comfortable, and I heard the opening bars of "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. I started to lead Mary through a slow rumba, and she picked up the steps very quickly. She was a natural. I felt a sudden stab of regret as we moved together across the floor. "I'm sorry. I should have made time to teach you to dance. But the last few years, it has just taken everything I have to keep us;" "It's alright. You've had other things on your mind. And look; you are teaching me how to dance, now." As Mary grew more confident, I guided her through a simple underarm turn, and we ended with a dip, which made her giggle and earned a round of applause from the others. Finally, I turned to Erin, who was sitting on the couch beside Lane. I suddenly felt very shy and, for the first time that evening, she looked nervous as well. "Would you dance with me, Erin?" She didn't reply but stood and took my hand. We waited for a moment while Wilma and Lane chose a new 45 and then listened to the pop and hiss as it started to play. Soon, an alto saxophone introduced the Henri Mancini version of "Moon River," and we started a slow waltz. Although there was space between us, it was bridged by an electric charge that connected and drew us together. Even though I spent most of the dance looking over Erin's shoulder, every detail of her beauty was etched in my memory, and I felt a warm breeze pass between us, raising goosebumps on my skin. We barely noticed the pause as the song ended, and a new one began until Etta James began to sing. At last, my love has come along My lonely days are over And life is like a song The song was in 4/4 time, so I switched to a foxtrot and Erin followed as we glided across the smooth wood of the living room floor. I was so caught up in the moment, and in Erin, that I led her through a turn that transitioned into an over sway, before I stepped backward, allowing her to gently pivot into me. Our eyes met and I was lost in them again. Before we could break the spell, a heavy gust of wind shook the house, and the power flickered out. The room went dark, which sharpened my remaining senses. Suddenly, the warmth of Erin's breath on my neck felt like wildfire across my skin. We were motionless for a three-heartbeat eternity before the lights flickered and came back on. I let go of Erin and felt all of my longing and awkwardness rush back in. "Thank you, Erin. That was;" I couldn't finish; words didn't seem enough to express how I felt. "I should check the breakers and make sure that everything is alright, and then we should go. Why don't I wash these clothes and drop them back for you later." Wilma just smiled and shook her head. "If you like them, please keep them. Otherwise, they will just grow old and musty like me." A little while later, we said our goodbyes, but I promised to bring Lane to the hospital the next morning. Wilma told Mary that she would see her on Wednesday after school and again the next Sunday. I was expecting Mary to protest, but she just gave a meek, "Yes, Wilma." I was nervous when I took Lane to the hospital the next day. The deductible on our insurance was high enough that we paid for pretty much anything less serious than a severed limb out of pocket. Erin, however, was as good as her word. After the X-ray confirmed that there were no breaks or fractures in the bones around his ankle, she re-wrapped it and arranged for a pair of loaner crutches that he could use for as long as he needed them. Before we left, Erin asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee in the cafeteria, to which I readily agreed. I gave my phone to Lane so he could amuse himself while Erin and I talked. "I just wanted to say how much I appreciate what you did for Gran. I do what I can, but I spend half my time at the Children's Hospital down in Grand Rapids right now and I am often on call while I am here. I just don't have the time to give her the help that she needs." "Honestly, it's no big deal. I do a lot of work around Good Hart since the bigger plumbing companies don't like to travel that far, so I don't mind looking in on her while I am there. And she seems to have taken a real interest in Mary, so the least I can do is to bring her some groceries and help around the place a bit." Erin pursed her lips and looked like she had just bitten into a lemon. "The 'least you can do' is more than the rest of our family can be bothered to do put together, so thank you." "I meant to ask you about that. What did your Gran do to end up so isolated from the rest of your family?" "The rest of my family is; there is no nice way to put it, they're snobs. None of them have any interest in spending time 'up north' as they call it, and they can't wait for Gran to move into a retirement home and die so they can get their money and forget about this place. That's why no one comes to visit Gran anymore, even for Thanksgiving; it's part of their campaign to convince her to sell her land to the McDougals. Before you came along, I thought they were going to succeed." "Well, excuse my language, but fuck them. I don't know Wilma that well, but I will do what I can to make sure that she gets to spend her remaining days in the place that she loves." "That's easy to say, but harder to do once the McDougals and their minions start coming by your place, offering you money and making threats unless you back off." "Well, if they do, they will find out what every teacher who ever taught me learned the hard way. I am bad at taking orders and even worse at following instructions. I am not afraid of the McDougal boys." My exclamation brought a smile to Erin's pretty face. I decided that I would be willing to do quite a lot to see that smile on her face again. But there was one thing I still didn't understand. "Why aren't you on board with the rest of your family? You must be under a lot of pressure to abandon your Gran like the rest of them." "My father, Gran's youngest son, Max, died shortly after I was born, and my mother moved the family to California where she remarried into a family that had a little money but a great deal of pretension and ambition. My mother picked up that insatiable need for money and status like it was a virus. "When I was a child, my mother and stepfather spent summers and holidays traveling the world, staying in places where children weren't welcome. Although they wanted nothing to do with Gran and Grampy and their 'vermin-filled shack in the middle of nowhere', they were more than happy to leave me with them while they were away. "They would put me on a plane to Grand Rapids while they jetted off to their spas and their fine dining. Gran and Grampy were the only people who cared for me, and they became my whole world. "When I was 14, I was staying with Gran and Grampy, and I caught a fever that was so bad that I nearly died. It was a pretty grim time. My parents even thought about flying home from Monaco to be with me. They didn't, but it was the only time in my entire childhood that they considered it. But I will always remember how kind the doctors and nurses were to me when I was sick. That's why I became a pediatrician and moved home." "Isn't California home?" "Home is where the people that you love are, and so this will always be my home. Or it will be until Gran passes on, anyway." We sat in silence for a while, sipping our coffee. Before long, it was time for me to go. "This might sound crazy, but since the rest of your family aren't going to be here to celebrate Thanksgiving with your Gran, how about you and I try to give her one more Thanksgiving to remember." Erin brightened at the idea, and the smile returned to her face. "That would be amazing! Why don't I give you my number, and we can figure out how to make it happen!" Chapter 4. For the next few weeks, Mary continued to meet with Wilma on Wednesdays and Sundays. I would often take the opportunity to bring her groceries or other supplies while I dropped Mary off and, if the weather was agreeable, do some fishing. Once he could walk without crutches, Lane came along as well, in quest of another monster steelhead. Unfortunately, all he caught was some yellow perch and rock bass, but it was nice to spend the day with him down on the dock. I saw Erin a few times at Wilma's as we made plans for Thanksgiving. She seemed to particularly enjoy talking with me while I split firewood out by the shed. It was hard work, and I was often drenched with sweat by the time I was done, but she didn't seem to mind. And she worked while we talked, helping to stack the larger pieces and collecting the smaller ones for kindling. The one point of contention in our plan was how Erin would get to Wilma's on Thanksgiving Day. She was slated to work a 12-hour shift the evening before, ending at seven in the morning, and she worried that if she went home to rest, she would sleep through the entire day. Her solution was to drive out to Wilma's after her shift and catch a few hours of sleep when she got there. I thought that driving that far after working all night seemed like a terrible idea, so I offered to give her a ride instead. She did not like that one bit. "I don't want you to make an extra trip when I am perfectly capable of driving myself." It sounded like she was digging in for a fight, so I tried a different tactic to convince her. "I need to stop at the hospital anyway, to return Lane's crutches. I can kill two birds with one stone and pick you up at the same time." She didn't buy that rationale either so, reluctantly, I resorted to the truth. "I am sure you're a great driver, but if you drive yourself, I will be up that morning anyway, worrying that you are safe. I know it doesn't make sense, but I have been looking after my siblings for so long its second nature for me to worry, and I can't seem to turn it off. So please, let me pick you up. But for me, not for you. And do you know how rarely I get to be gallant these days? I will feel like your knight in shining armor." That finally got a laugh from Erin. "Alright, you win. Why don't you pick me up at 7:15 at the hospital? You can sweep me up onto your trusty steed and carry me away to Gran's house." "If by trusty steed you mean rusty old GMC truck, then it's a deal." The morning of Thanksgiving dawned chilly and gray, with a cold wind blowing in off the lake. I was up early to make sure that I made it to the hospital on time, and I was listening to the local AM country station as I drove when the DJ started his break. "A happy Thanksgiving to all our listeners. If you're on the roads today, be aware that there is a severe weather warning in effect for the area north of Cadillac and into the upper peninsula. We're expecting a combination of high winds and lake-effect snow to make driving hazardous, and you should be prepared for possible power interruptions and outages." I was relieved that Erin had agreed to let me pick her up and that I had invested in good snow tires for my pickup. The snow had already started by the time I reached the hospital, and I pulled my jacket tightly around me as I went inside. I dropped Lane's crutches with the duty nurse and waited for several minutes before Erin arrived. She looked exhausted, and the gentle smile that I loved was nowhere in evidence. "Hey, Erin. Are you okay?" "I'm fine. I just had a long shift, but I am ready to head out." She came up to me and gave me a hesitant look. "Actually, I could really use a hug if that's alright." Without a word, I wrapped my arms around her, and she buried her face in my sweater. Hidden from the world by the folds of my jacket, I felt her body start to shake. The tremors lasted for a minute before they gentled and then finally stopped. I looked out the window at the falling snow to give her a moment to compose herself. "Let's head to Gran's house. This weather isn't going to get better any time soon." With that, we got in my truck and started the drive up to Good Hart. Erin sat in silence and looked out the window. "If you want to talk, I probably can't help with doctor problems; but I am a good listener." It took Erin a minute before she opened up. "Most of the time, I love being a pediatrician. Kids come to me scared and in pain, and I help them to get better. But sometimes, it's just too much. Around midnight last night, an ambulance brought in a mother and daughter. Her boyfriend had been drinking; and he got violent. The little girl tried to protect her mother and; and; "It's one thing to treat a grown woman, you know. I mean it's still pretty bad, but; that little girl. Fuck. One thing I've learned from this job is that monsters are real." I wanted to give Erin another hug, but since I was driving, I just reached over to take her hand. "I'm sorry." My words seemed so incredibly inadequate; considering what she had just dealt with; but she squeezed my hand. "Thanks for listening." We drove on in silence, and by the time we pulled into Wilma's laneway, Erin was gently snoring with her head against the window. I stopped as close as I could to the house before lifting her out of the cab. She tucked her head into my shoulder, and I carried her inside, where Wilma was already busy in the kitchen. She came out to greet us, and I spoke to her in a low voice. "Erin had a very tough night. I think some rest will do her a world of good." Wilma helped Erin out of her boots and coat and then showed us through to the guest bedroom, where I laid Erin on the bed. The room was filled with pictures of Erin from when she was younger; standing on the dock with an older but handsome man who I guessed must be Phillip, curled up in a ball on the sofa, book in hand, and smiling in her cap and gown as she graduated. In each picture, I could see hints of the beautiful woman she would become. By the time I returned with the rest of my family, the storm had begun to pick up. Snow drifts were accumulating against the house and shed, so we brought everything with us into the house that we might need for the evening. It took some convincing, but Sharon and I took over in the kitchen while Wilma, Alison, Mary, and Lane started a game of Scrabble in the living room. Once the preparations were well underway, I laid in as much wood for the fireplace as I could. With the high winds and heavy snow, I was worried that we might lose power, and I wanted to make sure that we prepared, just in case. The radiators and boiler would provide almost no heat if there was a prolonged power outage, but the fireplace had a high-efficiency insert that would keep the house warm, as long as we built up a good bed of coals. Lane insisted on helping me with the firewood, and after a half dozen trips to the woodshed and back, we both looked like live-action versions of the abominable snowman. Wilma showed some sympathy for our plight, while our sisters had a good-natured laugh at our expense. By the early afternoon, dinner was almost ready, and Wilma sent me to wake Erin. She had barely moved since I had tucked her in and seemed so peaceful in her sleep. I leaned over and spoke softly to her until she opened her eyes. After a moment of confusion, she broke into a shy smile. "I guess we made it to Gran's." "That we did, we got here close to six hours ago." Her eyes flew open, and she tried to get up until I reassured her. "We've got things under control. Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Take your time; and maybe give yourself a few minutes for that pillow line on your cheek to fade." I turned to leave, so she could have some privacy, but she reached out and took my hand. "I just wanted to say thank you again for earlier. I am not used to having someone I can talk to; someone I can trust. It's only been Gran and Grampy, and me for so long, and I didn't want to burden them. But I shouldn't have dumped my troubles on you like that, we barely know each other." "I was just glad that you felt comfortable enough to share how you felt with me. Today was probably the worst day of that little girl's life. I am sure she was terrified, confused, and in a lot of pain. But what she'll remember is the angel who comforted her and treated her with kindness and love. "I need to get back to the kitchen, or I will burn something. Fair warning, this is my first time cooking a Thanksgiving turkey, so you may want to load your plate up with fixings and sides, just in case." As it turned out, the turkey wasn't perfect, but it wasn't that bad, and the gravy was tasty as heck (probably because Wilma made it.) We had mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, and peas as sides, with the obligatory cranberry sauce (from a can). The conversation at dinner was a chaotic mixture of laughter, stories, and the kind of teasing that you only get when you bring five siblings together over a hearty meal. It didn't take Erin long to choose a side in the battle of the siblings, and soon, it was the four girls against Lane and me, with Wilma as our impartial referee. I don't know how Lane felt, but for me, it was worth being ganged up on just to see Erin and my sisters smiling and laughing. Although he tried to hide it, it was clear that Lane still had a bit of a crush on Erin, so I imagined that he was just fine with making her smile as well. For dessert, Erin brought pumpkin and apple pies that she had bought at the bakery in Petoskey, which we ate with some vanilla ice cream from the local creamery. I was sure there would be some dessert left over, given the amount that we all ate for dinner, but somehow, we finished it all. Everyone pitched in with the dishes and then we moved to the living room where we played cards and some more board games. As we played, Mary asked Wilma about some of her more memorable Thanksgivings, and she got a faraway smile. For the next hour, she regaled us with stories of humble times with the kids by the lake and, in later days, fancier celebrations with some of the families that Phillip befriended while they sat for portraits. As our last game of Scrabble ended, Sharon looked at Wilma with a mischievous grin. "Mary was telling me about the dance party that you had a few weeks ago here in your living room. Rumor has it that my big brother can dance! I was hoping, if you asked him nicely, that we could all see him in action." Wilma got up from her chair and started to move toward the hall closet. "Lane, come along and help, please. I am far too old to be carting around a heavy record player." Lane hopped up and went to help Wilma, while the rest of us began to move the furniture out of the way. As Lane set up, Wilma admonished the rest of us. "Remember, there is only one rule about dancing in my house: no wallflowers." With that, Lane started the first song, and I asked Wilma to dance. Alison followed suit, asking Lane to dance, and soon she was teaching him how to lead. Finally, Erin stood as well and gave a deep bow to Mary. "It would be my honor, enchanting lady, if I could have this dance." With a laugh, Mary stood, and soon we were all moving around the room, trying not to bump into each other or step on each other's toes. For the next hour, we danced, laughed, and pretty much forgot about the world outside. Lane even got up the courage to dance with Erin, although he stayed so far away from her that you would have thought she was radioactive. I took a couple of turns with Erin and was amazed at the way she melted into my arms. When we danced, there was a wave of knowing smirks from my sisters and a pleased smile from Wilma, but I didn't care. I could have danced with her all night. Unfortunately, during my third dance with Erin, the real world decided to interrupt our festivities. Erin and I had just started a turn when the power went out. I instinctively pulled Erin into my arms to protect her, and then I leaned in through the darkness and kissed her. She returned the kiss, ran her hand through my hair, and let out a small moan. "Do you think the power will come back on?" Lane's question cut through the fog of my lust and longing. "Probably not until sometime after the storm has passed. So, we should all plan on spending the night here and then figuring things out in the morning." With Wilma's agreement, we got settled in for the evening. After some protest, Wilma agreed to sleep in the guest room since it had a direct line of sight to the thermoelectric stove fan that helped circulate the heat from the fireplace. My three sisters slept in Wilma's bed, both to share body heat and because it was the larger of the two beds in the house. Lane slept on the couch, while Erin and I slept on the floor in front of the fireplace. Erin laid out an older sleeping bag, for comfort, with some bedding and blankets on top. In deference to Lane, she waited until she was under the blankets before she shimmied off her pants, while I stoked the fireplace. I made one more pass through the house, to check on Wilma and my sisters, but it seemed they had already fallen asleep. Even Lane had passed right out, despite his proximity to the pants-less Erin. I set a quiet alarm on my phone for two-hour intervals so that I could get up and add wood to the fire, ensuring that it would last all night. Looking down at the makeshift bed where Erin was watching me, I suddenly felt incredibly shy and anxious. I took my sweater and pants off as quickly as I could and set them on a chair before crawling under the blankets next to her. I didn't want to be presumptuous, so I stayed as far over to one side as I could. I had just settled in when I heard Erin's soft voice from behind me. "You can come a little closer. I won't bite, you know." My brain froze with indecision, but my heart knew the score and it started beating at a furious rate. I heard her shifting behind me, and I felt an arm wrap itself around my chest. My senses were on fire. The faint scent of lavender from her hair washed over me like a field of wildflowers. "Was everyone safe when you made your patrol?" I slowly rolled over so that my forehead was lightly touching hers, and I could see the flickering of the fire reflected in her eyes. "I know it's silly, but I can't sleep until I know that everyone I love is safe. Even when she is away at college, Alison texts me each night to let me know she is okay. I will make another round later after I stoke the fire." "It's not silly at all; I feel safe when I'm with you too.  Why don't you tell me your story, Davis Crawford." She must have felt me stiffen, and she started to lightly brush her fingertips through the hair on the back of my neck. "You don't have to if you're not comfortable with me yet, but I would like to hear it someday when you're ready." We sat in silence for another few minutes, while the tension slowly drained from my body. It had been over 15 years; since before the drugs and alcohol got too bad with my mother; since someone had touched me with kindness and love, and I was helpless before the gentle onslaught of Erin's fingers. Eventually, I started talking. "Things weren't always bad with Mom; I remember there being more laughter than anger when I was little. She was very beautiful, and there was a procession of men in her life, even back then, but most of them treated me well. I guess they wanted to make a good impression on her. When I was four or five, though, she took up with a man from a rougher crowd. She started in with the drinking and drugs, and they never really stopped. She got pregnant with that man, and Alison was born. From there, it was like a rock sliding down the side of a hill. It starts slowly, but soon it's rolling downhill in leaps and bounds. "After Sharon was born, fewer men came around. My mom was still beautiful, but how many guys are interested in a single mother who has three kids from three different men? I had just turned ten when she left me in charge for the weekend and flew down to Vegas with some friends from the club where she waitressed and danced. A bit more than nine months later, she had Mary. "The one thing I can say for my mom is that she mostly managed to stay clean while she was pregnant. But once Mary arrived, the hill got steeper, and the rock started plummeting downwards. As fewer men showed an interest in her, Mom had to blame someone, and we kids were handy targets. That's when the hitting started. I learned pretty quickly that she didn't much care who she hit, so I made sure that I was always close at hand, to try and spare the little ones. If she was going to throw plates at someone, I figured it had better be me. "By the time I was 12, I was the only one caring for my siblings. When Mom came home drunk or stoned after her shift at the bar, I would steal enough of her tip money to buy food for my sisters' lunches. That was the worst of it, and I didn't think that we would make it through. I am not sure we would have without our landlord, Mr. Johnson. "He lived in the apartment below us and would take us in on the weekends when my mother was out with her boyfriends, feed us dinner, and let us watch a little television. I never found out why he lived such a lonely life, but he helped me keep our family together until I was old enough to handle things myself, so I will always be grateful to him." I could see tears starting to pool in the corner of Erin's eyes. "You don't need to hear the rest of this;" Erin stopped me mid-sentence by kissing my lips. "You never got to be a kid, Davis. My whole life I felt sorry for myself because my parents didn't want or care for me, but at least I had Gran and Grampy. You had no one." Even though we were lying on an old lumpy sleeping bag on a rough hardwood floor with only a fireplace for heat, I had never felt safer in my life than I did with her right then. To be continued in part 3. Based on a post by CleverGenericName, in 4 parts, for Literotica.

I bet you know your favorite way to learn something. Maybe it's by listening to a podcast, skimming a couple of articles on the topic, reading a book, going to a live lecture, taking a Masterclass, talking to a knowledgable friend, playing your way through an App like Duolingo, attending a conference... The point is, we're all pretty different when it comes to our FAVORITE way to take in information. The way that really helps it sink in. For me, it's often about visuals and color, dating all the way back to my high school years when I created my own visual notes summaries of the semester for each class before finals. I enjoyed reading through all my notes and condensing them into a couple of brightly colored pages. Once I had done that, I barely had to study those highlight reels, because the process of making them had done most of the studying for me. Honestly, I looked forward to exam week because I could take my exams and look at my notes for the next day more quickly than I could get through the work of a normal week of school. I had more free time when we had tests, and I enjoyed my review process. Today on the pod, as many folks may be headed into a unit or term review, just as student focus is already taking a left out of school city toward vacation land, let's talk about an easy way to give students agency over their review, ANY review. Go Further:  Explore alllll the Episodes of The Spark Creativity Teacher Podcast. Get my popular free hexagonal thinking digital toolkit Join our community, Creative High School English, on Facebook. Come hang out on Instagram.  Enjoying the podcast? Please consider sharing it with a friend, snagging a screenshot to share on the 'gram, or tapping those ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ to help others discover the show. Thank you!

“Honestly, education found me…”Higher Definition Leadership and Empowerment CoachingProfessor LaToya Greenhttps://www.higherdefinitionlec.com/“When I think about the future of education, it is just being incessant and being absolute about access for all students...”In this powerful episode of the Black Educators Matter Project 500 Podcast, Professor LaToya Green shares her journey from an unexpected start in communication studies to becoming a nationally recognized debate coach, educator, and leadership developer. With teaching experiences in Kansas, North Carolina and Southern California, she reflects on the mentors who shaped her path, the challenges Black educators face in predominantly non-Black spaces, and the transformative impact of authenticity, representation, and cultural connection in the classroom. “In this space, we are going to live and move in some freedom.”Professor Green offers a candid look at the state of Black education, discussing its systemic barriers, its resilience, and its brilliance, while highlighting the classroom moments that reaffirm her purpose and the self-care practices that sustain her. She also discusses her leadership coaching company, Higher Definition Leadership and Empowerment Coaching, where she empowers individuals and organizations through workshops, keynotes, and curriculum rooted in personal growth and equity. With a vision driven by intersectionality and opportunity, she calls for continued investment in Black educators, Black institutions, and the communities they champion.

Honestly, this is a cool tradition even if it makes zero sense. Support the show and follow us here Twitter, Insta, Apple, Amazon, Spotify and the Edge! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Donate to Movember here: https://movember.com/m/15368227?mc=1Welcome Back! I'm so happy to share this episode with y'all! As you know Whitmedia partnered with Movember to share conversations on men's health and mental health with other men. You remember Dre from the last episode. I was a guest on the BackYard Bants Podcast discussing how I deal with my mental health and so much more. Honestly it was a great conversation. I'd love to know what you think about it in the comments below. You can find Backyard Bants on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/@thetalkativexChapters00:00 Welcome to the Backyard Band's Comedy Podcast01:55 Mental Health Check-In and Movember12:22 The Importance of Vulnerability and Emotional Processing22:54 Recharging and Coping Mechanisms30:02 Art as a Form of Emotional Expression37:49 Conversations on Vulnerability and Manhood39:34 The Impact of Account Transparency42:20 Remote Work and Its Challenges45:33 Sports and National Pride46:53 The Grammy Nominations and African Music49:34 The Evolution of Music and Artist Identity51:51 The Weekend's Unique Approach to Fame53:44 The Importance of Male Friendships01:00:14 Upcoming Events and Community Engagement01:06:34 Personal Achievements and Reflections01:12:59 Goals for the Future

I am so excited to have today's guest back on the podcast after recording an episode with her a long time ago about my rejection challenge. Yes, it is Katie Chappell, who was the original inspiration for that challenge! However, we are not talking about rejection today. Instead, we are talking all about Katie's incredible business as a Live Illustrator. Honestly, I love chatting to her; she is a total business powerhouse with so many brilliant ideas. In this episode, we discuss how she runs her Live Illustration business, the membership and jobs board she has created to share overflow work, and how she manages her time and boundaries. I came away from this conversation so inspired, and I know you will too.   Key Takeaways: The pivot to online-only: Katie made the strategic (and initially terrifying) decision to stop doing in-person events and focus exclusively on online live illustration to better manage her stress and family life. Sharing the wealth with a jobs board: Instead of just turning down the inquiries she couldn't take, Katie created a paid jobs board on Substack to pass that overflow work on to other illustrators, creating a win-win for everyone. Dealing with negative comments: Katie opens up about the backlash and trolling she received regarding her jobs board and how she now views it as a "rite of passage" and a sign of increased visibility. The power of the decision tree: To avoid decision fatigue, Katie uses a "decision tree" managed by her assistant to automatically filter inquiries—if a job doesn't meet her specific criteria (like being online and within school hours), it goes straight to the jobs board. Live illustration is thriving: Despite doom and gloom in the wider illustration industry, Katie explains why live graphic recording is still a high-value, premium service that corporate clients love. ‌ Episode Highlights: 02:11 – Katie explains exactly what live illustration looks like and how she captures visual notes during events.‌ 07:59 – How Katie discovered graphic recording in the library during her master's degree and realised it was like being a war artist, but for meetings. 14:26 – The moment Katie realised she needed to scale back her agency model and set a deadline to go online-only. 15:28 – How the "Jobs Board" was born from an abundance of inquiries she couldn't fulfill. 25:59 – Navigating "mild trolling" and the emotional process of dealing with negative comments online. ‌   About The Guest: Katie Chappell is a live event illustrator who makes visual notes for online events. She is also one-third of The Good Ship Illustration, where she runs courses for creatives, and she manages a popular jobs board for illustrators. You can find Katie on her website or say hi on Instagram.   Mentioned in this episode: The Good Ship Illustration: Katie's course business with Helen Stephens and Tanya Willis. Katie's Jobs Board: A Substack for illustrators to find work. Rich Webster: Previous podcast guest who discussed business as a self-development tool. Katy from Creative Boom: Discussed as someone who handles online visibility well. I would love to hear what you think of this episode, so please do let me know on Instagram where I'm @‌lizmmosley or @‌buildingyourbrandpodcast and I hope you enjoy the episode! This episode was written and recorded by me and produced by Lucy Lucraft lucylucraft.co.uk If you enjoyed this episode please leave a 5* rating and review!

Ducks! They first appeared (twice) in the original novelization of Star Wars and have been floating around ever since … but why are there ducks in the galaxy far far away? And what about horses? Or ravens? Or rats? Listen as we explore the possible reason behind there being so many “earth animals” in Star Wars and the true behind the scenes historic role animals have played in the saga. So get those raccoons out of the bathtub, celebrate the love and listen today! JOIN THE BLAST POINTS ARMY and SUPPORT BLAST POINTS ON PATREON! NEW ANDOR SEASON 2 EPISODE COMMENTARIES! HEAR EPISODES EARLY AND SO MUCH MORE! Theme Music! downloadable tunes from episodes! Extra goodies! and so much MORE! www.patreon.com/blastpoints Blast Points T-SHIRTS are now available! Represent your favorite podcast everywhere you go! Get logo shirts while supplies last! Perfect for conventions, dates, formal events and more! Get them here: www.etsy.com/shop/Gibnerd?section_id=21195481 If you dug the show, please leave BLAST POINTS a review on iTunes, Spotify and share the show with friends! If you leave an iTunes review, we will read it on a future episode! Honestly! Talk to Blast Points on twitter at @blast_points "Like" Blast Points on Facebook Join the Blast Points Super Star Wars Chill Group here www.facebook.com/groups/BlastPointsGroup/ we are also on Instagram! Wow! www.instagram.com/blastpoints Your hosts are Jason Gibner & Gabe Bott! contact BLAST POINTS at : contact@blastpointspodcast.com May the Force be with you, always! This podcast is not affiliated in any way with Lucasfilm Ltd. LLC, The Walt Disney Company, or any of their affiliates or subsidiaries. https://web.archive.org/web/20170708200533/http://www.starwars.com/news/drawing-from-the-present-familiar-creatures-in-a-galaxy-far-far-away https://starwars.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000022550/r/4400000000000561252

In this episode: "Trying Life On", 5 Freedom Principles, Purposeful Work, & more with Maurice Philogene. Adam Coelho talks to Maurice Philogene, a former senior executive at an IT consulting firm and a retired federal agent, who is now a full-time real estate investor. They discuss Maurice's philosophy of "trying life on" and how he has been able to mesh together his different interests and careers. They also talk about the importance of envisioning, reducing big dreams into achievable goals, and building a personal and work blueprint.Episode TakeawaysMaurice's philosophy of "trying life on" involves meshing together different interests and careers to build a lifestyle you don't need a vacation from.Maurice reduces big dreams into achievable goals by having people write down their perfect day in vivid detail and building a personal and work blueprint around it.Maurice encourages people to build meaningful relationships and intentionally make decisions related to time, financial, and geographic freedom.Maurice believes that adults forget to dream and that we need to remember our purpose of plugging into life planet as intended.Maurice believes that if we really want to do something, we will find a way to make it happen.Maurice encourages people to be unapologetic in their pursuit of a meaningful and fulfilling life.Maurice's Contact InformationMaurice Philogene on LinkedInQuattro Capital : https://www.thequattroway.com/Maurice Philogene BioMaurice Philogene is a former senior executive at an IT consulting firm, a retired federal agent and lieutenant colonel, and a full-time real estate investor. He is also a former street cop in Washington DC. Maurice's philosophy is to "try life on" and he has been able to mesh together his different interests and careers to build a lifestyle he doesn't need a vacation from.

Today, we're talking about the other B-word… Budgeting — but before you roll your eyes, stick with me, because my guests Shana and Vanessa (aka the Budget Besties) are flipping everything you think you know about budgets on its head.These two are best friends turned financial coaches who teach ambitious women how to automate their money without shame, spreadsheets, or sacrifice. Honestly? Sign me up. Those are all things I actively avoid.In this episode, we unpack their simple, stunningly effective system that turns your bank into your own personal assistant — so you can pay your bills, enjoy your life, and still splurge on the bougie things without relying on credit cards.They break down why most women believe they're “bad with money” (spoiler: you aren't), how modern financial life has become way too complicated, and how a budget — done their way — actually gives you permission to spend.We get into:Why money problems aren't about overspending… they're about disorganizationHow to set up a one-page budget that mimics your real lifeWhy separating accounts is the key to reducing stressHow automation replaces willpowerWhat entrepreneurs especially need to understand about stabilizing incomeThe mindset shift that helps you drop shame and start dreaming againIf money has ever felt overwhelming, guilt-inducing, or chaotic, this conversation is going to breathe oxygen back into your confidence.

Did you know there's MAGIC in your Meditation Practice? Say Goodbye to Anxiety and Hello to More Peace & More Prosperity! Here Are the 5 Secrets on How to Unleash Your Meditation Magic https://womensmeditationnetwork.com/5secrets Book your FREE 30 Minute Clarity Call with Jody now! https://jody.as.me/womensmeditationnetworkclaritysession What is a Clarity Call? This is the first step to giving you the IMMEDIATE relief you crave and will help you to become "unstuck" as you walk the path towards a life of happiness, inner peace and fulfillment. During this call, we're going to explore your ideal life and vision for living the life that you desire. We'll talk about some of the challenges that are getting in your way, and I'll provide you with some practical tools to help you close the gap from where you are now, to your desired destination. Hey, it's Katie and I want to welcome you to this special bonus episode. It'll be here for you completely ad-free for the next week so you can get a feel of what it's like to be a PREMIUM member. If you'd like an easy ad-free experience for all of our podcasts - that's over 200 episodes each month, then JOIN PREMIUM today at https://WomensMeditationNetwork.com/premium Open heart, Open eyes, Open ears, Open mind.  PAUSE (5 SEC)... To love deeply is to love with all of yourself.  Honestly,  Openly. Even when it's scary. Even when it's heavy. PAUSE (10 SEC)... So touch the sea of love inside of you, And know its depths are bottomless. Join our Premium Sleep for Women Channel on Apple Podcasts and get ALL 5 of our Sleep podcasts completely ad-free! Join Premium now on Apple here --> https://bit.ly/sleepforwomen Join our Premium Meditation for Kids Channel on Apple Podcasts and get ALL 5 of our Kids podcasts completely ad-free! Join Premium now on Apple here → https://bit.ly/meditationforkidsapple I'm so glad you're taking the time to be with us today. My team and I are dedicated to making sure you have all the meditations you need throughout all the seasons of your life. If there's a meditation you desire, but can't find, email us at hello@womensmeditationnetwork.com to make a request. We'd love to create what you want! Namaste, Beautiful,

In this episode Trent honestly breaks down every book he's written from "the worst" to "the GOAT" and everything in between. Get a case of Why We're Catholic https://shop.catholic.com/why-were-catholic-our-reasons-for-faith-hope-and-love-case-of-20-books/ To support this channel: https://www.patreon.com/counseloftrent [NEW] Counsel of Trent merch: https://shop.catholic.com/apologists-alley/trent-horn-resources/ Be sure to keep up with our socials! https://www.tiktok.com/@counseloftrent https://www.twitter.com/counseloftrent https://www.instagram.com/counseloftrentpodcast

#79: What changes in feeding when your baby turns 1? Honestly...not a whole lot. But we do make the transition to cow's milk and that can be kind of tricky for some families. In this episode we're looking at how to pick milk when your baby turns 1. From questions about how much to feed, what types of cow's milk to try, transitioning from breastmilk and/or formula to cow's milk and milk alternatives, I'm answering all your questions on how to pick a milk when your baby turns 1. Listen to this episode to learn: 1. Why it's ok for babies to have cow's milk protein in yogurt, low sodium cheeses and other dairy foods but why we don't substitute fluid cow's milk for breastmilk and/or formula until baby turns 1 2.  What to look for in the milk aisle when you're choosing a cow's milk for your baby at or after the 1 year mark 3.  How to wean baby off of the bottle (and when to do that) and what to consider if you need to do a cow's milk alternative if your baby has cow's milk protein allergy or you're a vegan family Shownotes for this episode can be found here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.babyledweaning.co/podcast/79 Links from this episode: • Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program with the 100 First Foods™ Daily Meal Plan, join here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/program⁠ • Baby-Led Weaning for Beginners free online workshop with 100 First Foods™ list to all attendees, register here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/baby-led-weaning-for-beginners⁠ Other episodes related to this topic: • Episode 13 - “Milk Protein: How to Introduce Your Baby to this Potentially Allergenic Food”⁠ • Episode 40  - “6 Reasons to Skip the Sippy Cup with Dawn Winkelmann, MS, CCC-SLP” ⁠ • Episode 285 - “Are Plant-Based Milks Safe for Babies?”

Send us a textI'll start with a confession: I've never taught kindergarten. Honestly? I don't think I could. Kindergarten teachers bring superhuman levels of compassion, patience, and organizational magic. They teach kids how to be at school while also supporting families.Yet I support K–8 math, and as a parent of two kindergarteners, I know exactly what a Monday afternoon classroom feels like. So when a kindergarten teacher asked me to model what math could look, sound, and feel like with deeper engagement, I said yes. Today, you'll hear the case study that proves Word Problem Workshop is the solution for low-level, boring curriculum tasks.Here's the encouragement I want to leave you with: you don't need a new curriculum. You just need a routine that reveals student thinking. Word Problem Workshop does that — every single time. Even in kindergarten.So try one step next week. Launch a real problem. Give space. Let kids think. And watch what happens.

#79: What changes in feeding when your baby turns 1? Honestly...not a whole lot. But we do make the transition to cow's milk and that can be kind of tricky for some families. In this episode we're looking at how to pick milk when your baby turns 1. From questions about how much to feed, what types of cow's milk to try, transitioning from breastmilk and/or formula to cow's milk and milk alternatives, I'm answering all your questions on how to pick a milk when your baby turns 1. Listen to this episode to learn: 1. Why it's ok for babies to have cow's milk protein in yogurt, low sodium cheeses and other dairy foods but why we don't substitute fluid cow's milk for breastmilk and/or formula until baby turns 1 2.  What to look for in the milk aisle when you're choosing a cow's milk for your baby at or after the 1 year mark 3.  How to wean baby off of the bottle (and when to do that) and what to consider if you need to do a cow's milk alternative if your baby has cow's milk protein allergy or you're a vegan family Shownotes for this episode can be found here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.babyledweaning.co/podcast/79 Links from this episode: • Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program with the 100 First Foods™ Daily Meal Plan, join here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/program and get $50 off when you sign up using the code BLWPOD50 JOIN NOW AT $50 OFF CODE: BLWPOD50 • Baby-Led Weaning for Beginners free online workshop with 100 First Foods™ list to all attendees, register here: ⁠https://babyledweaning.co/baby-led-weaning-for-beginners⁠ Other episodes related to this topic: • Episode 13 - “Milk Protein: How to Introduce Your Baby to this Potentially Allergenic Food”⁠ • Episode 40  - “6 Reasons to Skip the Sippy Cup with Dawn Winkelmann, MS, CCC-SLP” ⁠ • Episode 285 - “Are Plant-Based Milks Safe for Babies?”

Last week, Bari sat down with Erika Kirk for an hour-long town hall in front of a live audience on CBS. It was an extremely powerful conversation. Erika and Bari spoke about a lot—rising political violence in this very divided country; the way some people justified or excused Charlie's murder; what Erika thinks about some of the controversial things Charlie said in his lifetime; her response to Candace Owens and the conspiracy theories Owens and others are peddling; the growing antisemitism on the right; and her decision to forgive Charlie's killer. They also talked about the posthumous release of Charlie's last book, Stop, in the Name of God: Why Honoring the Sabbath Will Transform Your Life. This town hall was the first of many conversations and debates Bari will be bringing to CBS News about the things that matter most. Which, of course, are often the hardest to talk about. We really hope you will tune in.  In case you missed this first one with Erika Kirk, we're thrilled to share the conversation here on Honestly. And we can't wait for you to catch the next one on CBS News. The Free Press earns a commission from any purchases made through all book links in this article. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode II chat with Mississauga, Canada artist JASY about the latest single "No Idea, Honestly"Follow the showwww.instagram.com/thesundaynightarmywww.twitter.com/sundaynightarmywww.facebook.com/thesundaynightarmylinktr.ee/thesundaynightarmyLooking for fresh music and insightful interviews? Join JAKUB, an aspiring journalist, podcaster, and artist, every week as he brings you the best of music discovery. From up-and-coming indie artists to legendary music icons, each episode features stories about their journeys and creative process.But that's not all! JAKUB also dives into current events, entertainment news, media, and politics, offering his unique take on what's happening in the world today. Plus, enjoy exciting interviews with special guests from all walks of life. Tune in to the ultimate podcast for music lovers

Get ready to join me for my legendary 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.In this episode, I sit down with Kate the Colour, a leading Chromologist, (no, I didn't know what the hell that was either!) to explore how the colours we surround ourselves with can directly influence our energy, mindset and manifestation power. Kate breaks down the psychology behind colour, how different shades affect our nervous system and how we can use colour intentionally in our homes, wardrobes and daily routines to shift our vibration. If you've ever wondered why certain colours make you feel calm, powerful, confident, or creative, this conversation will open your eyes to the world of colour as a manifestation tool.We dive into practical, easy-to-apply ways to use colour to call in the life you want, whether you're manifesting love, money, clarity, confidence, or a whole new chapter. From creating high-vibe spaces to choosing colours that support your goals, Kate shares the secrets behind colour energy and how it shapes our subconscious. This episode is packed with insight, inspiration, and tangible steps you can take immediately to upgrade your environment, elevate your frequency, and manifest with intention.Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comBy the way, do we love my Amazon Storefront - it even has all my favourite self development books on there!(Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Donald Trump has taken another swipe at Europe's “weak” leaders over Ukraine and immigration including a special mention for - surprise surprise - Sadiq Khan, who got a shout out for being a “horrible, vicious, disgusting mayor”. Honestly, why is he SO obsessed?!  But a Labour government trying to convince European allies to water down human rights law to deport people faster seems perfectly in line with Trump's vision. Nish and Coco are joined by Sky's Deputy Political Editor Sam Coates. They also take a dive into the latest allegation swirling around Reform UK - this time the party's election spending in Nigel Farage's Clacton constituency is under the spotlight. And the scale of the homelessness crisis always seems more acute at this time of year - so the Minister for Local Government and Homelessness, Alison McGovern, joins PSUK to explain how their new plan will be the one to finally make a difference. Finally - PSUK has watched the first episode of the Liz Truss Show, so you don't have to. Nish and Coco give it a rating out of one to limp lettuce. CHECK OUT THESE DEALS FROM OUR SPONSORS  BABBEL https://www.babbel.com/PSUK  AURA FRAMES https://www.auraframes.com Code: PSUK SHOPIFY Shopify.co.uk/podsavetheuk GUESTS  Sam Coates, Deputy Political Editor at Sky News Alison McGovern MP, Minister of State for Local Government and Homelessness USEFUL LINKS:  Nish's Carol Performance  CREDITS Politico  The Liz Truss Show / YouTube Keir Starmer MP / TikTok Rishi Sunak MP / TikTok Pod Save the UK is a Reduced Listening production for Crooked Media. Contact us via email: PSUK@reducedlistening.co.uk BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/podsavetheuk.crooked.com Insta: https://instagram.com/podsavetheuk Twitter: https://twitter.com/podsavetheuk TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@podsavetheuk Facebook: https://facebook.com/podsavetheukYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@PodSavetheUK Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pete's been out on the lash again, and you simply will not believe his drunken food of choice. Honestly, you could have a thousand guesses and you'd never get it. In other news this week, Luke is really hitting all the major milestones of middle age by taking up golf, there's some impassioned follow ups from listeners in our great airfryer debate, and the lads also reminisce about time they've spent in Istanbul. Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of ‘The Art of Living Big,’ host Betsy Pake discusses her journey of creating new traditions after a significant life change. She shares her experience of making intentional choices and emphasizes the importance of self-trust and honesty, encouraging listeners to honor their true desires. She also highlights the role of community and the value of supportive relationships. The episode concludes with reflections on the past year and the anticipation of new beginnings. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today.. I have something to talk to you today about, but , I wanna start by telling you about my Christmas tree. I, , it’s the holiday time. And if you’re new here, I have been living in an apartment this, whole year. I sold my house towards the end of last year. , , Got divorced, moved into this apartment. And in April I got a kitty. Okay, so these are important aspects to my thought process for the holidays this year, one of the things that I’ve really tried to do is just to create new traditions, , or new rituals in the morning. How I do things. I wanted it to be different. Like I didn’t wanna be rerunning old patterns. I really wanted to create something new for myself. And so. I have been really intentional about that over the year and as we get closer to the holidays, I was really thinking , do I wanna bring in the energy of all the old decorations? , There’s some things that I do wanna pull out like my daughter’s stalking and that kind of thing, but for the most part, I didn’t really feel aligned with it anymore. It’s like that person that owned all those things is so unfamiliar to me that I didn’t wanna bring the energy of it in. And because I got this cat, in Dean Martin I got in April, he’s a sweet, sweet kitty. I think he’s so close to cuddling with me. Honestly, he’s, he’s gonna cuddle any day, but it took a long time for him to warm up. I mean, it took him like four months before he even pured. Literally. I think he’d had like a hard life on the streets, you know? So when he got in my house, I basically kidnapped him and , I got him from the pound, but brought him home. He didn’t have any choice. And then he was like, what woman? You are crazy. So here we are. It’s Christmas time and I’m like, if I get a Christmas tree, , he’s gonna, it’s, he’s, it’s gonna be diabolical. He’s never gonna be able to handle it. And so I was thinking like, do I get like a Christmas tree? . , One of those pre-lit trees, like a big tree. Do I just get maybe a little tree? Do I get like just a tree that’s in a little fake tree that’s in like a pot? Do you know what I mean? I’m like, I could, I, went to a million different stores. I’m like looking at everything. I’m like, what am I gonna get? Because I think he’s gonna be just a nut job. So I finally went to Lowe’s last weekend and they had these two. Trees that kind of went together. One’s like maybe four feet, and the other one’s like maybe three feet. So they are supposed to sit next to each other. They’re connected. Their, light system is connected, or I would love to put them in separate spots, but they’re connected together. And it’s like a cone that has this holographic ribbon that sort of wraps around the cone and a star on top. And the lights are little, they’re not like little Christmas tree lights. It’s like a, I wanna say like a techno light. It’s like a strip. Do you know what I mean? Inside the thing. So it does all kinds of different things. It flashes, it dances, it twirls around. It does a million things. And so I thought. This will be really good because I don’t think Kitty will mess with it, and so anyway, I brought it home. It looks really pretty. Maybe you’ve seen it on Instagram. I’ve shared it in my stories, but I was correct. He is not messing with it, which is great. And it looks really pretty and the lights bring me a lot of joy. So. You know, we can create new experiences for ourselves that can be really good. I talk to women every day that are , trying to make these big decisions in their lives and in their marriage and what to do, and I think there is so much fear in the unknown that I wanted to kind of share that little piece of what’s going on here. Because what if it’s great? , What if it. All works out better than you thought. And we have so much power in our imagination, but so many times we use our imagination to go down the rabbit hole of all the things that could be wrong. And what if we harness that for , , what could happen if it could be great. And , this year I have thought, and I think I mentioned this last week, I’ve thought about doing a podcast just on my year. ’cause I think there have been so many lessons in it . , That everybody could benefit from, right? I mean, so many lessons, and you probably have a lot of lessons in your life too, that people could benefit from if you shared those. And so I have thought about that. ,, I might do it, but this year has been the most wild ups and downs and twists and turns. The way that it’s landing is just like the most beautiful place. Like I’m so happy with the way this year has turned out for me, , and next year already. Really amazing things to look forward to. I went to an event last month with my coach and the coaching group that I’m part of, and there was a new woman in the group who I just hit it off with. She was so fun and so cool, and she lives in New York City. I’ll have to have her on the show sometime. But anyway, the women in this group that I’m in, we all tend to form such tight friendships and we have stayed in the group. ,, This particular woman is new, but the other women. . We stay. And so we’ve been together for many years. And so I went for this walk with this new friend. We were there at the resort and we decided to go get coffee and we were gonna go for a walk. And we were just talking and I was talking about my year and some of the things that have happened and how great it’s been. And I said, , the only thing that I really miss. About having a partner because I really like being single., I’m in a really good place of just doing things on my own and discovering myself, and there’s no space right now for anybody else, , to be honest. But the one thing that I miss is, sometimes it is nice to have a built-in person to go. Travel with, right? Like to be able to go on a trip and to go with, and I have done many trips this year. I’ve gone by myself, I’ve gone with this group to several places, and it’s been great. And I love that. And there’s other places that I wanna go. And so she said, well, where would you go? And I said, well, I really wanna go to, to Morocco. I have a, a friend that I met online, and she and I message back and forth. She’s divorced as well. And you know how you just find somebody and you start talking? She’s a, a, famous author and we just have hit it off. So I’m like, I really wanna go see her. She lives in Marrakesh. And she was like, let’s go. So I was like, okay, we were on the walk, we booked the trip on the walk, opened up our apps. I, I am a big points girl, so I did it with points. I share that just because that is a privilege to be able to open up an app on a phone, on the, on a walk on and book a trip to Morocco. It was, , cost me $11 fees. Um, but I was able to, book my trip and to go to Morocco. So this spring we’re going to Morocco and it just goes to show you that for when you get in a place where it’s really clear what it is you like and what you don’t like, and you’re able to voice it, and you’re around people who are like extraordinary people, right? You’re building your life around people who. Like similar things and are adventurous and able to take those kinds of risks, , it, it can change everything. I think our community is so, so important, and I always say this inside the, women Inside the Navigate method, you know, , once you come into the Navigate Method, you’re sort of like in forever. I joke, that they can never get rid of us, , unless they want to. But you know, after you go through the program, you stay in our alumni group and we meet every month so people can see each other every month and form those relationships. Um, and if you wanna keep going with me, there’s an opportunity to do that in another way. . So building community I think is so incredibly important, and especially when we’re going through big things or hard things, and to be able to say like this is to have somebody witness your life, right? To be able to have somebody witness. Things that you’re going through. It doesn’t always have to be a partner or a spouse. And many times we have partners or spouses and they’re still not witnessing your life. Right. It’s just a, a placeholder. And so I have found that there is just such a, a, need for this and a way to do it. I think women are coming together in community in totally new ways. Which, leads me to remind you that next month in January we’re doing the fireside chat. If you go onto Instagram and you just message me fire, it’ll automatically send you the link or the, link is in my bio. , Every month we’re just getting together, , on Zoom and you can turn your camera on or leave it off, whatever’s comfortable to you. And I’ve got questions that I ask and we just kind of reflect and get together for this. I call it the middle verse, right? This is where we are in the middle verse. And so I think creating those pockets of community is really invaluable in terms of building a life that feels really good and really full, you know? And I think that’s where, , where I could say I am right now. After this year, I have built a life that feels really good and really full there. And when I say that I’m not looking for a partner. I know a lot of times my friends will ask , are you gonna date? And I just, my life is really full and really good. I don’t, I’m not missing anything. And now I have a fun, somebody fun to travel with, so there’s no, there’s nothing missing. Um, and maybe someday there will be, but right now it just feels really good. So I think that as we. Look, and we think about well, what will my life be like? I wanna just reflect that. What if it’s better than you thought it would be? Like, what if things come together in ways you couldn’t expect? If you had told me last Christmas, you will have just booked a free trip to Mor Morocco with a new friend That is so fun and lovely like. Probably, well, I probably would’ve believed you just because, ’cause I’m open to that kind of stuff. But it would have been like, oh my God, that’s cool. That’s really cool. But being in a place where I was open to receiving that is, is the thing maybe that would have surprised me. So to this, week, I wanna talk to you a little bit about something that has been on my mind when I’ve been thinking about this past year, and I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. , And I’ve been thinking about the thing that I think rises to the top of so many of our conversations inside the Navigate Method, and it is this moment when a woman realizes that she’s spent years and years editing herself in order to keep the peace. And I think. Probably likely, in my case at least, I know I can say this for myself, years of looking for outward validation, right? I would, kind of throw ideas off of my dad or my sister when I was younger, you know, when I was in my twenties or even thirties, gosh, I mean probably forties. I probably was doing it in my forties, but always looking to make sure I was doing things right. Checking on someone else’s emotional weather before I even knew how I felt about things. And at some point the cost of that becomes really huge. Because when you start to outsource your decisions or your peace long enough, you start to detach from what is you. So instead, you are seeing everything through a lens of what would they think? What would my dad’s response be? How would my sister react to this? What would my spouse think? Or my brothers or sisters, or. Coworkers or whoever that is for you. And in that you stop believing that your instincts are reliable and you start, I think, really doubting parts of you that do speak really loudly. And the more that you deny those parts of you, the harder it is to be able to hear it. Right? I mean, if you keep shushing. Part of you, if you keep shushing someone, pretty soon they’re gonna shush. Right? And that’s the thing that I hear over and over inside the Navigate method when I work with women is like I, I don’t even know. I have no idea what I think. Like you could ask me a question like, do I like shells or spirals, pasta better? I don’t know. But I know what my husband likes better. I know what my kids would prefer. So today what I wanna do is I wanna talk about what it really means to become the woman that you can trust, because I think that is the foundation for all decision making and for creating a really big life, right? It’s not about your partner’s approval, it’s not about your family’s expectations. It is not about the path that is very safe. Or respectable. I hear this a lot too, like what will people think? Right? The foundation of all of this is you and it’s your inner knowing and, I think that there is a, woman inside you who, who has always known, but we were taught out it was taught out of us, right? Or you know, I don’t know. Screamed out of us or whatever, so that we started to quiet that piece. And I have noticed even in myself over the past year and now I’ve been a, coach in doing this work since 2012, like a long time. I have done decades of my own work. I have done. Everything from therapy to meditating for days on end to screaming into a pillow. Do you know what I mean? , I’ve done it all. I’ve run the gamut. And what I know that from this past year is that rebuilding your trust isn’t about becoming fearless. It is about becoming honest. It’s about being honest with yourself and how you feel. It’s becoming honest with what you have tolerated. It’s becoming honest with what you have been carrying that was maybe never yours to carry in the first place. And I think that self-trust starts to build every time that you tell yourself the truth. And I always say this in my groups, is you don’t have to take action on it. You can still betray yourself in the action, but if you’re telling yourself the truth. Being honest about what it is you really want. Even if you don’t do it, it is a step forward. And I wanna say that again ’cause I think it really matters, is that self-trust builds every time you tell yourself the truth and then you can start to learn to stay with yourself through the consequences of that truth. I saw something online a couple days ago and I thought it was so good and it was like, you’re not stuck. You just don’t wanna go through the, consequences of what will happen if you act on that truth. And I thought, oh dang, that’s so good. Right? It’s so good. And I think that for a lot of us, , the idea of being true is foreign because we were really raised to be agreeable. I was talking. Inside one of my groups the other day, and I was saying that my lease is coming up and my plan was to buy a house. And now things have shifted and I’m not sure where, if I wanna stay here, there’s some opportunities that I may take to move to a new city. , I don’t wanna sign a year long lease. And when I asked my body what. How long I wanted to be here. I asked, is it six months? And I felt very unsteady. And I asked, is it a year lease? ’cause those are the options they gave me. They gave me six months, 12 months, 13 months, which I thought was weird. Um, I think that’s what it was. And when I asked my body 12 months, I felt constricted. Like, no, I gotta get outta here. And so it was eight months. Eight months is where my body felt relaxed and happy and positive. And so I asked the apartment, can I get an eight month lease? And the lady, the manager, said, yeah, but I’ll have to, I mean, I don’t know. I’ll have to ask corporate. And she looked at me and she’s very sweet, but she looked at me like, it’s more work for her. God love her. She looked at me like, take the six or the 12, ’cause I have to do more work. If you want eight. And there was a moment where it was uncomfortable, and then a moment where I decided it was okay. That’s what I wanted. That was my truth. And when I was talking in groups, someone in group was like, I could never do that. I could never do that. And I think that you can get to a place where you can do. Because self-trust builds every time you tell yourself the truth and you stay with yourself through the consequences of that truth. And the consequences of that truth were that I had to sit with the uncomfortableness while someone else sorted out in their head how they were gonna take a step forward and ask corporate. And when they were gonna do that, and they were a new person down there, new manager, and they were going through their own process and I didn’t need to fix that. I just asked, I just had to ask and then see what the answer was would be. And I still don’t know. And so we wait. We wait and we’d be comfortable in that waiting. And I think,, , we were raised to just, just take the 12 months, it’s fine, you’ll stay a couple more months. And that may be what I do, but I needed to ask in order to move forward and feel like I had honored myself. You know, if you were, , someone in a family where you had to really walk on eggshells, maybe. You had a explosive mom or dad or an alcoholic, all of these things, you may have been tiptoeing around and minimizing everything that you needed just to be able to move through things. And it can be really hard to make these shifts. So self-trust is rebuilt in the moments. Where you’re truth telling and they’re micro moments., I talked last week, I think it was about micro joy. The, small things, the doing, the puzzle, the snuggling with the cat, if you’ll ever let me, like all these little things are what makes life bearable. ’cause life has big, hard things. And I think self-trust is in micro moments of truth telling, telling the truth to yourself, to the people that matter. And over time those start to become a pattern. It starts to become who you are. , When I was in group and that woman said, I could never do that, I thought to myself, I think I used to be like that too, where I would never do that. And I think that you do over time as you create that, you create a new identity. It’s a new way of being and a new way of relating to yourself and eventually a new way of relating to everybody else. Right? So I think that a woman who really trusts herself doesn’t make the decisions that she has to make from a place of fear. She makes them from a place of clarity. Right? And I think about, , going back to the apartment lease, it may seem insignificant. And I thought to myself, I have to ask because I have to honor what it is that I feel. Even if I end up choosing one of the others, I’ll feel really good that I did this ask, and I think that, , over time we get this new identity and then we don’t even have that conversation back and forth in our head. I’m guessing by next Christmas as I continue and continue and continue to do this, that. It won’t even be, it won’t even be something I would, it would be like tying your shoe, right? I don’t have to watch a YouTube every time I go to tie my shoe. Right? So I think that there is a part of this whole process that surprises women in, in, I notice this when we’re teaching it inside the Navigate method, is that, that when you start doing this, when you start. Rebuilding trust, rebuilding that self-trust, you’re gonna feel grief. And that feels so foreign to people. And sometimes they’ll be like, I don’t know what this is. And we talk a lot about, what are the specifics? I have a dictionary on my desk and someone will say, I have resentment. And I’ll open up and we’ll read the definition. And I’ll say, does that define what you just described? No. So what is this really? And I think that one of the things that we run into so many times is we run into a feeling of grief. And this grief is about the years that you abandon yourself. So many times I hear women say this is resentment towards their husband or resentment towards, , or anger towards si situations or things that have happened. But I can always trace it back. Yes, , did. Somebody overstep your boundaries. Yeah, like all those things, he’s not off the hook. That’s not what this is about. This is about you recognizing that you may have feelings of grief for the moments that you did know better, but you felt you had no choice. You felt you had to do it to keep the peace you felt you had to do it. ’cause that’s what a good wife does, or a good sister does. Or a good daughter does. Grief. Grief for a version of you that, that put everybody else first. That version of you was slowly disappearing while everybody else was really comfortable, and I think that this grief isn’t a sign that. You’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign that you’re actually returning, right? That you are becoming a woman who you can trust. And that means trusting yourself enough to let your past self know that she was never wrong or weak, but she was doing the very best she could with the tools that she had. And now you have new tools, right? So now you can do it differently. So here’s the North Star in all this. To start small. I know I say, I know. Start small, right? Start small, start honest and start with just one moment of noticing when you override yourself. This can even be after. This can be you get in bed at night and you’re like, where did I abandon myself today? It’s gonna be a tiny moment where saying no, when you mean no. Is important and you’re gonna notice where you said yes when you meant no. And there’s gonna be a moment where you are okay saying no, and you might brace yourself and nothing bad will happen. And I think that moment. Also leads to some grief because you may realize that you were doing things to protect yourself, and it was a pattern that you created when you were young and it worked and it was needed at that time. But now you are a grown ass adult and you don’t necessarily need the, pattern. But maybe you’ve created a bit of that experience for yourself by acting that way in places that you didn’t need to, like with the apartment complex, right? Every one of those moments is like a brick in a foundation of the woman that you were and the woman that you’re now becoming. And there can be a new steadiness, right? A new groundedness in this, a new version of you that isn’t looking for permission, or to validate yourself from anybody else, and that’s self-trust,? And that I think is really the beginning , of living a big life, right? So this season, as we’re going really into the, real Christmas holiday season, whatever holiday you that you celebrate, this time of year, new Year’s at least, that is a universal, but I want you to just notice. You are allowed to rebuild a relationship with yourself. I want you to remember that and that you are not necessarily becoming somebody new, but you are returning to the woman that you always have been and that you’ve always been meant to be. And this is the one who knows, the one who is certain, the one who chooses, the one who trusts herself. And the one who trusts herself enough to live a life that is built on that reflection of truth. And you can start it right now, practice through the holidays. There’ll be so many opportunities to practice on the holidays. And just start with one little promise. I will not abandon myself again. Alright. That’s all I got for you this week. Thanks so much for listening. I love you guys so much. I will see you, I will see you next week. I think what we’re gonna do, we’ll have maybe one more this year, and then I’m gonna take some time off for the holiday, which I’m really excited about, and then we’ll be back after the new year. , My plan is to be here next week. Then take some time. So I’ll see you next week, but I hope if you don’t catch next week, I hope you have a really wonderful, a wonderful holiday and new year. I hope you do something that really lights you up. I hope you see the value that you brought to everybody over this past year and. How you can really show up for yourself in a new way in 2026. , 2025 is the year of endings. It is a nine year in numerology. We are moving into a one year, and that is the year of new beginnings. So what do you need to leave behind this year and what can you call in for next? We’ll talk about that maybe more next week. All right. I love you guys. I’ll see you then. Bye-bye. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake. And on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring and keep living big.

Somehow it has been ten years since The Force Awakens and this new era of Star Wars began and this week we are looking back at that movie and all the new stories set in the galaxy far far away that it led to. Join us as we pick the one moment from the last decade that defines the era for us and we discuss where we hope Star Wars storytelling could go in the next ten years! So alert the Resistance, call up Teedo, listen today and celebrate the love! JOIN THE BLAST POINTS ARMY and SUPPORT BLAST POINTS ON PATREON! NEW ANDOR SEASON 2 EPISODE COMMENTARIES! HEAR EPISODES EARLY AND SO MUCH MORE! Theme Music! downloadable tunes from episodes! Extra goodies! and so much MORE! www.patreon.com/blastpoints Blast Points T-SHIRTS are now available! Represent your favorite podcast everywhere you go! Get logo shirts while supplies last! Perfect for conventions, dates, formal events and more! Get them here: www.etsy.com/shop/Gibnerd?section_id=21195481 If you dug the show, please leave BLAST POINTS a review on iTunes, Spotify and share the show with friends! If you leave an iTunes review, we will read it on a future episode! Honestly! Talk to Blast Points on twitter at @blast_points "Like" Blast Points on Facebook Join the Blast Points Super Star Wars Chill Group here www.facebook.com/groups/BlastPointsGroup/ we are also on Instagram! Wow! www.instagram.com/blastpoints Your hosts are Jason Gibner & Gabe Bott! contact BLAST POINTS at : contact@blastpointspodcast.com May the Force be with you, always! This podcast is not affiliated in any way with Lucasfilm Ltd. LLC, The Walt Disney Company, or any of their affiliates or subsidiaries.