Podcasts about Waking

In this episode we speak with Anglican Deacon and writer Jayne Manfredi, whose work explores the female body as a place of truth-telling, theological insight and spiritual transformation. Jayne talks with striking honesty about midlife, menopause and the shifting experience of embodiment — the leaking, aching, changing realities many women learn to hide — and reflects on the Church's persistent discomfort with women's bodies and the silence that often surrounds this life stage.Drawing on her book Waking the Women, Jayne describes menopause as a kind of wilderness: a time when old maps fail, identities unravel and a more authentic self begins to emerge. She speaks of rage, grief, liberation and the unexpected sense of resurrection that can follow the drying-up of long-held roles and expectations. Along the way she reflects on class and authenticity, the pressure to remain “nice”, and the ways midlife invites a more grounded, embodied, unapologetic faith.This is a conversation about bodies, meaning and the sacred work of becoming ourselves in midlife, told with warmth, humour and fierce honesty.After the interview Nomad hosts Tim Nash and Joy Brooks consider what Jayne's insights stirred in them, reflecting on embodiment, ageing, social expectations, and the wide range of experiences that shape how different people navigate midlife.Interview starts at 12m 39sBooks, quotes, links →The creation of Nomad's thoughtful, ad-free content is entirely funded by our equally thoughtful and wonderful listeners. By supporting us, you gain access to Nomad's online spaces—like the Beloved Listener Lounge, Enneagram Lounge, and Book Club—as well as bonus episodes such as Nomad Contemplations, Therapeutic Reflections, and Nomad Revisited.If you'd like to join our lovely community of supporters, head over to our Patreon page. You might even be rewarded with a Nomad pen or our coveted Beloved Listener mug!If a monthly commitment isn't possible right now, a one-off donation is always deeply appreciated—you can do that here.Looking to connect with others nearby? Check out the Listener Map or join our Nomad Gathering Facebook group.And if you're up for sharing your own story, we regularly post reflections from listeners on our blog—all with the hope of fostering deeper understanding, connection and supportive relationships. If you'd like to share your story on the blog, contact us for more information here.

Adam creates a hypnosis session designed to help those who wake up after sleeping to sleep well and to get back to sleep quickly if they do wake up. To access a a subscriber-only version with no intro, outro, explanation, or ad breaks and with early access, tap 'Subscribe' nearby or click the following link.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/adam-cox858/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ten years ago, a group of women in The Irish Times got together to envisage a podcast that told stories about the female experience and provided a space for women to share their passions, projects and plights. From there, The Irish Times Women's Podcast was born. Over the past ten years, the podcast has heard from political leaders, sexual abuse survivors, campaigners, comedians, health professionals, authors, academics, relationship experts and every(woman) in between. Earlier this week, to celebrate a decade of conversation, craic and captivating stories, The Women's Podcast hosted a live event at the Peacock Theatre in Dublin. On the night, Róisín Ingle and Kathy Sheridan reflected on the most memorable moments from ten years of telling stories - from Waking the Feminists to Repealing the 8th - with contributions from some special guests in the audience. Irish Times opinion editor Jennifer O'Connell was also there on the night to discuss some of the biggest stories of the week. Plus, poet and friend of the show Jan Brierton delivered a gorgeous poem called The Revolution will be Podcast. In today's episode, we're bringing you a selection of highlights from the nights festivities. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are moments where the mission chooses you.Marine Corps Radio Operator SgtMaj Ted Painter was stationed in Okinawa when everything changed. A sudden illness left him paralyzed, intubated, and fighting his way out of an ICU with no windows and no clear answers.In this episode, Ted walks through how he went from that hospital bed to Iraq, then into Fortune 500 work, and finally into his role at CareSource Military and Veterans. He now focuses on improving how military families get care and support.We talk about Okinawa, Guillain-Barre, transition, mental health, TRICARE, military transition, and why Marines never really stop being Marines.Timestamps:00:00 Waking up paralyzed in the ICU00:38 How the crisis became a mission05:21 Okinawa, Guillain-Barre, and learning to walk again15:42 Fighting out of the hospital with Marine grit24:20 Finding purpose in healthcare29:39 What the TRICARE Prime demo actually is35:04 How this could change care for military families45:47 Open season, eligibility, and how to enrollHow veterans can use CareSource Military and Veterans:If you are in the Tampa or Atlanta areas and you are eligible for TRICARE Prime, you may be able to choose the TRICARE Prime demo with CareSource Military and Veterans. This is a Defense Health Agency program that gives families another option for how their care is supported. It does not replace TRICARE.What it offers:Simpler access to specialists within the networkHelp from real people when you need it (not chatbots)A focus on scheduling appointments faster and closer to homeFor eligible retirees and their family members who choose CareSource during the demo, the TRICARE Prime enrollment fee is waived for the first 12 months. Open season runs from Nov 11 to Dec 9. That is the window where you can choose CareSoure.To learn more or check your eligibility:CareSourceMilitary.comQuestions about the TRICARE Prime demo: 1-833-230-2080Ready to enroll during TRICARE Open Season: 1-877-996-9333

I had to hsve still believed in magic to some degree, because in all of the applicable ways it made sense, I applied it— much with reverence and spirituality such is religion, all of my ritual occultation was indeed still based in the science of source, as to say that God itself was all the major diety I needed to call upon, in prayer and in this thought process. I was more in alignment with this definition of divinity than with any given science or religion, or rather an antithesis of either, because as it seemed the walls would draw in on one or another, I found myself and my God at the center of all things, both dark and light— encompassing both the greatness of what was as known, and also not— the words and words seeming to pour from me like another space in time was held inside myself and beyond what even I could have understood. I couldn't force my artwork, and even knowing that I was slipping between the cracks as far as deadlines were concerned I was wreaking havoc in another realm of artistic torture— knowing what I already had, but could not possibly forage or put out— my unplublished works a daunting reminder of what was about me, but was not known. Then again, as an artist, I wondered had I any purpose at all in being known, or was it just some kind of harsh injustice to my own talent that I would hide in the shadows while I presumed some other alias or moniker would take the spotlight, and especially so for some of my more controversial tones and pieces. Overall, I was devastated that these two years just as any other period in my life seemed just to be a fight against whatever the opposite of God was and my own absence from this light I with desperation called upon over and over— with the knowing well that in time and never my own that it did work, and that this magic and occult was a real substance, but never in the way that I might think or understand, and most certainly not under the guise of any rules of expectation. I was a flying saucer in the vast expanse of outer known time, and my own body was something like a waking memory of sliver for all that was and all I had done and could do in conciousness. In that aspect, I was not awake, and only dreaming in a way that was personified by my self in the physical realm where I seemed to be having some kind of shattered montage of a life awakened from a death sleep and into the afterlife of an only somewhat waking world— the twisted bodies surrounding none less than the half capacity I'd ever had to congulate an imaged world in my own fortune, and I was sure otherwise I was half braindead or some partial version of a somewhat paralyzed and seemingly unconscious drone of one world or another, my inner essence escaping for freedom and in the silent darkness screaming up to the gathered surface to please pull the plug— to let me pass on, and to go into the world of fortune; under the circumstances it appeared as if the darkness was always grasping at its chance to imprison even this of what was left, along the lines of gratitude I felt shattered but also honored; whatever I was had also kept itself tied to these words and these colorful arts as a hidden sign that there was a truth in this previous life that had went unsaid. And so magic it was as it pertained to God because I believed in both or as one as another or one in the same. I am, dog on a leash I am heart full of love I am all out of time I am all out of home I couldn't make any sense of what seemed to be some kind of telepathic connection with the host of the tonight show, which I kept at a safe enough and respectable distance, but perhaps maybe it was telemetry. Perhaps somehow my strange frequency was intercepting with a broadcast signal, or a radio tower, or perhaps it was the show itself— as I called it, the ghost of Johnny Carson. Overall I hadn't meant for it to happen, but it did seem to always kind of rather by accident happen— my strange dreams of all the people coming together for the 50th anniversary of Saturday night live, and though for some or whatever reason thinking it would stop, but it hadn't, and in fact rumbling thoughts of mark wahlberg and some of the other recent guests could not have been a coincidence, nor could have been what seemed at the time Robert Dinero or any of the others who had been blooming in my mind in the weeks leading up to the event and I couldn't have considered it any more after being unable to focus on anything besides what seemed to have been a protruding vein from the poor man's forehead, which for myself had made me promise not to look at all too closely— Then, here it was nearly a year later and I couldn't do anything but momentarily curse aloud and pause in the thought of not letting myself go north of where I was in my media calling; even in the modern world of horrid things one human being does to another, under no circumstances whatsoever could I continue l to belittle and downplay my own self respect, especially in the grips of something that felt like a more rising sense of urgency than ever— I hadn't had sex in year with anyone, and there were very few things I actually wanted. I was increasingly picky to my own demise, and increasingly delusional, and vulnarable in such a sense that anything I knew I wanted, I also knew to respect myself enough to stay far away from. Not so much the double edged sword was this than simply knowing better— the other hosts and almost all the world were safe— this was not. I kept it out of the news And out of my head For awhile now; I kept it out of the noose As far as my head is concerned But after awhile, when I started to smile It was thinking of you; Now more than ever I've got more than nothing to lose. I'm a straight jacket away from an Oscar And eight days from my triumph I called also the Ace of the Spades, The Club and the Diamond I'm tipping my hat to your making But playing for tips And paying for service I've got more than four words But the forward was barely a dollar. I'm rarely a savage, But also, your honor I give not a gasp but a grasping at petals And strings of a flower The rock to a kite And a wind in the forager, So much beyond what I know is unmasked In my country not home But a foreigner CHAOS It took me two times to find you out.. It's not my fault, I'm not the one. CHAOS And still, you saw what God I was. The god of Chaos, not my love. You are not my king! “Not my king” he says I— And yet am king; A king of kind; The king of thieves! And you, my grace? Caring verily fir your thanks And what if my remarks? The careless woman! And of swords. Adeiu. But still untied I gallop! (Turning) And yet I stay. To careless words. A triumph. Not to mark my time to dust As there to wait in forests wonder, Catching, maybe, as you were But still my tied to bark an order To what! Your making. My kind! And gathered. The wake to drift the call to forward, And coming in the mark I gathered Your ties be mind, And yet the waiting shadows foraged (And also in the art I bathe) Several other ballads pondered To mine ties, your art my word Your thought my song, And wind my fortune And so you are, then my kite! I am both what kite and wind you may; But what of stone and rock? [suddenly, in modern tongue] I'm glad you asked. CUT TO: CONAN O BRIEN wakes up suddenly in his pleated blue pajamas from what seems like a very deep sleep. CONAN Surfing? I think I will go surfing. He gets out of bed and stares out of the window at the sunrise; it is a picturesque Californian day. {Enter the multiverse} I guess any time I try to terminate my state of being, I am annihilated You're really right; this is a death curse You're really right, this is a death curse Any time I try to find my way out, I am exiled You're right, this is a time bomb You're right, I've got my eyes closed Are there any intimate conclusions? Are there any derelictions, or delusions? And redactions or delirium, any infinity? Any fear at all? I hear you now I all bleed blue I'm born to suffer Stuff the earplugs in a little deeper little longer, Then we all get caught in martyrdom Or someone else's story Ooh, you started it Not now, God! He was born and gone in such an instant That I bark to love him First as dog and then as servant Other Master is absolved and yet absorbent I get caught in my own foul ball I have missed for trains Just decided to cast you all out The demons wandered Just like they wanted The snake still slithered, The owl still called I was also cosmic once Just I just forgot I was never pardoned Oh who are I I smell howling. Hogties withered out ones, Wondered weathered swallows When I see Whether or not You tip your hat to my making— The ball rolls, The owl cries, The harp sings, The hare runs, The mark, my cause. I am your forager. Then, gripping in the wakes The calls that bantered Not here or owl, I Not dog or rabbit, No wake and no fortune You are to run Or lest be tortured You are our call No, for what They says have ceased and the harp has stung sound, Not one but two sour notes aching, And there I bartered with all but nothing that I had To love, the power Then angst in me mine soul and my ties, My ways were na'er seek but shattered also I lake in lessons and drift in oceans and drown in all our skies, azure and lavender, Creeping in the cape that is both overshadowed our, I Gripping in the ways seeks foreign to none and also listened in your foyer Waking not as ghosts but yet as haunted Here tith thee my tide and I bade farewell And fate he they to keep our half tide I am hiding in your wakes and in my foreign I am forgotten and also withered, gathered! I am decrcrepit and unloved kept secret I am as shamed and as unwell as all our sick and tired Poor and outside I am as outside as the grass and trees have slaughtered I am as ancient as before the oceans tide did bring, my kind did watch your light come for us out of darkness And into my shores of only oceans you not know, My thoughts be born into your shadows And my own making is your honor Whatever that means This Is creepy. You're right! Fly bird! Fly! Uh. Did you bring a bird with you into the office. Kind of Kind of? Yes or no? I think of him fondly I killed myself on his birthday he didn't even want me But luckily it's also Obama's Birthday, that is I was not hot enough To this day I want another body Aftermarket Parts With happy accidents {enter the multiverse} Kind of! What does that even mean! Bird, go away! It means “kind of!” He follows me everywhere. What! Thais ridiculous. It is. Ridiculous! See, I've got to figure this out, because it seems like, indirectly, sometimes the weird and random things going on in my head, are at least very partially Actually [nevermind] This makes whatever I'm supposed to do increasingly difficult, on the basis that [Ahem] SNL alumni that [uncontrollable fit of hysterical coughing] ago. I can't understand what I might have done to deserve this kind of torture— My own accidental muses have all been [birds, at some point or another], Untouchable, entirely separate other monsters, and I've often thought that perhaps this is my kind of purgatory; Because I fell so insensibly and head over heels in love before and was still rampantly tortured and undermined, I was unwilling to see myself in any sort of attainable situation, And so everything had become some sort of fantastical delusion— Or perhaps even a hope that I could at the very least Become something greater; in that understanding the factors that were determining the outcomes of these other peoples lives I for whatever reason seemed to be magnetized to, I could emulate myself into a situation where none of it any longer mattered. Still, it was some sort of strange fascination that anytime someone seemingly out of place appeared somewhere in my dreams or in my rampant and running thoughts, they just so happened to be hovering somewhere near this [concept], and while it seemed some sort of intriguing, it was also deeply troubling, and dangerous, and wore on my consciousness in ways I could not consider well at all, or forward thinking Discussing this sort of feelings would simply mean a diagnosis of some sort of delusions, but without the risk of doing that far, I could simply only attribute it to some sort of spiritual purpose, which at the very least in the safest way, was most probably one sided. I was just a troubled girl in a lot of pain, and somehow my brain was wrapping itself around a way to manage this constant sort of torture. Oh this is so much funnier with the [redactions] Agreed. It was different, maybe, not because it sounded different. It sounded the same, exactly. But the difference was, I was listening as a producer, and not as some girl that was in love with him. Or— thought she was. Now I didn't think anything much besides how well it would mash with any of my other favorite songs, by my other favorite artists— or how it was mixed just right and how some sounds hit in the head, and some in the top and how I knew how to do that, but I was kind of lazy. I thought about the glue that held everything together, which is what pissed me off about his music— sounds that didn't come apart and made entirely new sounds together from whatever they once were, because they were so meticulously plastered that way. This kind of engineering gave way to perfectly round spheres elsewhere, or perhaps even the kind of colors in other music but wasn't so much any one thing or another here. Perhaps the point was, that at the time, it was sort of abstract in a way that set a new norm. Now everyone sounded like him— besides him: who could say who he really was presently anyway, besides him, if even that— or the people around him; a constantly changing array of whatever's…things and persons I'd stopped being mad about ages ago. At least, sort of. I was still kind of mad, but more that I still just paled in comparison, and almost that I'd lost total interest, besides learning this: what I could apply to it now, knowing what I knew, but still might never possibly achieve, not at this point anymore because I couldn't..:but perhaps because I didn't want to. And it really was great— eight or ten or twelve Grammies great, but I was just kind of— not that. Not the way I used to be. Still, I gave myself the benefit of the doubt. [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] -Ū. Death of A Superstar DJ Copyright athe Complex Collective © 2025 All Rights Reserved.

I had to hsve still believed in magic to some degree, because in all of the applicable ways it made sense, I applied it— much with reverence and spirituality such is religion, all of my ritual occultation was indeed still based in the science of source, as to say that God itself was all the major diety I needed to call upon, in prayer and in this thought process. I was more in alignment with this definition of divinity than with any given science or religion, or rather an antithesis of either, because as it seemed the walls would draw in on one or another, I found myself and my God at the center of all things, both dark and light— encompassing both the greatness of what was as known, and also not— the words and words seeming to pour from me like another space in time was held inside myself and beyond what even I could have understood. I couldn't force my artwork, and even knowing that I was slipping between the cracks as far as deadlines were concerned I was wreaking havoc in another realm of artistic torture— knowing what I already had, but could not possibly forage or put out— my unplublished works a daunting reminder of what was about me, but was not known. Then again, as an artist, I wondered had I any purpose at all in being known, or was it just some kind of harsh injustice to my own talent that I would hide in the shadows while I presumed some other alias or moniker would take the spotlight, and especially so for some of my more controversial tones and pieces. Overall, I was devastated that these two years just as any other period in my life seemed just to be a fight against whatever the opposite of God was and my own absence from this light I with desperation called upon over and over— with the knowing well that in time and never my own that it did work, and that this magic and occult was a real substance, but never in the way that I might think or understand, and most certainly not under the guise of any rules of expectation. I was a flying saucer in the vast expanse of outer known time, and my own body was something like a waking memory of sliver for all that was and all I had done and could do in conciousness. In that aspect, I was not awake, and only dreaming in a way that was personified by my self in the physical realm where I seemed to be having some kind of shattered montage of a life awakened from a death sleep and into the afterlife of an only somewhat waking world— the twisted bodies surrounding none less than the half capacity I'd ever had to congulate an imaged world in my own fortune, and I was sure otherwise I was half braindead or some partial version of a somewhat paralyzed and seemingly unconscious drone of one world or another, my inner essence escaping for freedom and in the silent darkness screaming up to the gathered surface to please pull the plug— to let me pass on, and to go into the world of fortune; under the circumstances it appeared as if the darkness was always grasping at its chance to imprison even this of what was left, along the lines of gratitude I felt shattered but also honored; whatever I was had also kept itself tied to these words and these colorful arts as a hidden sign that there was a truth in this previous life that had went unsaid. And so magic it was as it pertained to God because I believed in both or as one as another or one in the same. I am, dog on a leash I am heart full of love I am all out of time I am all out of home I couldn't make any sense of what seemed to be some kind of telepathic connection with the host of the tonight show, which I kept at a safe enough and respectable distance, but perhaps maybe it was telemetry. Perhaps somehow my strange frequency was intercepting with a broadcast signal, or a radio tower, or perhaps it was the show itself— as I called it, the ghost of Johnny Carson. Overall I hadn't meant for it to happen, but it did seem to always kind of rather by accident happen— my strange dreams of all the people coming together for the 50th anniversary of Saturday night live, and though for some or whatever reason thinking it would stop, but it hadn't, and in fact rumbling thoughts of mark wahlberg and some of the other recent guests could not have been a coincidence, nor could have been what seemed at the time Robert Dinero or any of the others who had been blooming in my mind in the weeks leading up to the event and I couldn't have considered it any more after being unable to focus on anything besides what seemed to have been a protruding vein from the poor man's forehead, which for myself had made me promise not to look at all too closely— Then, here it was nearly a year later and I couldn't do anything but momentarily curse aloud and pause in the thought of not letting myself go north of where I was in my media calling; even in the modern world of horrid things one human being does to another, under no circumstances whatsoever could I continue l to belittle and downplay my own self respect, especially in the grips of something that felt like a more rising sense of urgency than ever— I hadn't had sex in year with anyone, and there were very few things I actually wanted. I was increasingly picky to my own demise, and increasingly delusional, and vulnarable in such a sense that anything I knew I wanted, I also knew to respect myself enough to stay far away from. Not so much the double edged sword was this than simply knowing better— the other hosts and almost all the world were safe— this was not. I kept it out of the news And out of my head For awhile now; I kept it out of the noose As far as my head is concerned But after awhile, when I started to smile It was thinking of you; Now more than ever I've got more than nothing to lose. I'm a straight jacket away from an Oscar And eight days from my triumph I called also the Ace of the Spades, The Club and the Diamond I'm tipping my hat to your making But playing for tips And paying for service I've got more than four words But the forward was barely a dollar. I'm rarely a savage, But also, your honor I give not a gasp but a grasping at petals And strings of a flower The rock to a kite And a wind in the forager, So much beyond what I know is unmasked In my country not home But a foreigner CHAOS It took me two times to find you out.. It's not my fault, I'm not the one. CHAOS And still, you saw what God I was. The god of Chaos, not my love. You are not my king! “Not my king” he says I— And yet am king; A king of kind; The king of thieves! And you, my grace? Caring verily fir your thanks And what if my remarks? The careless woman! And of swords. Adeiu. But still untied I gallop! (Turning) And yet I stay. To careless words. A triumph. Not to mark my time to dust As there to wait in forests wonder, Catching, maybe, as you were But still my tied to bark an order To what! Your making. My kind! And gathered. The wake to drift the call to forward, And coming in the mark I gathered Your ties be mind, And yet the waiting shadows foraged (And also in the art I bathe) Several other ballads pondered To mine ties, your art my word Your thought my song, And wind my fortune And so you are, then my kite! I am both what kite and wind you may; But what of stone and rock? [suddenly, in modern tongue] I'm glad you asked. CUT TO: CONAN O BRIEN wakes up suddenly in his pleated blue pajamas from what seems like a very deep sleep. CONAN Surfing? I think I will go surfing. He gets out of bed and stares out of the window at the sunrise; it is a picturesque Californian day. {Enter the multiverse} I guess any time I try to terminate my state of being, I am annihilated You're really right; this is a death curse You're really right, this is a death curse Any time I try to find my way out, I am exiled You're right, this is a time bomb You're right, I've got my eyes closed Are there any intimate conclusions? Are there any derelictions, or delusions? And redactions or delirium, any infinity? Any fear at all? I hear you now I all bleed blue I'm born to suffer Stuff the earplugs in a little deeper little longer, Then we all get caught in martyrdom Or someone else's story Ooh, you started it Not now, God! He was born and gone in such an instant That I bark to love him First as dog and then as servant Other Master is absolved and yet absorbent I get caught in my own foul ball I have missed for trains Just decided to cast you all out The demons wandered Just like they wanted The snake still slithered, The owl still called I was also cosmic once Just I just forgot I was never pardoned Oh who are I I smell howling. Hogties withered out ones, Wondered weathered swallows When I see Whether or not You tip your hat to my making— The ball rolls, The owl cries, The harp sings, The hare runs, The mark, my cause. I am your forager. Then, gripping in the wakes The calls that bantered Not here or owl, I Not dog or rabbit, No wake and no fortune You are to run Or lest be tortured You are our call No, for what They says have ceased and the harp has stung sound, Not one but two sour notes aching, And there I bartered with all but nothing that I had To love, the power Then angst in me mine soul and my ties, My ways were na'er seek but shattered also I lake in lessons and drift in oceans and drown in all our skies, azure and lavender, Creeping in the cape that is both overshadowed our, I Gripping in the ways seeks foreign to none and also listened in your foyer Waking not as ghosts but yet as haunted Here tith thee my tide and I bade farewell And fate he they to keep our half tide I am hiding in your wakes and in my foreign I am forgotten and also withered, gathered! I am decrcrepit and unloved kept secret I am as shamed and as unwell as all our sick and tired Poor and outside I am as outside as the grass and trees have slaughtered I am as ancient as before the oceans tide did bring, my kind did watch your light come for us out of darkness And into my shores of only oceans you not know, My thoughts be born into your shadows And my own making is your honor Whatever that means This Is creepy. You're right! Fly bird! Fly! Uh. Did you bring a bird with you into the office. Kind of Kind of? Yes or no? I think of him fondly I killed myself on his birthday he didn't even want me But luckily it's also Obama's Birthday, that is I was not hot enough To this day I want another body Aftermarket Parts With happy accidents {enter the multiverse} Kind of! What does that even mean! Bird, go away! It means “kind of!” He follows me everywhere. What! Thais ridiculous. It is. Ridiculous! See, I've got to figure this out, because it seems like, indirectly, sometimes the weird and random things going on in my head, are at least very partially Actually [nevermind] This makes whatever I'm supposed to do increasingly difficult, on the basis that [Ahem] SNL alumni that [uncontrollable fit of hysterical coughing] ago. I can't understand what I might have done to deserve this kind of torture— My own accidental muses have all been [birds, at some point or another], Untouchable, entirely separate other monsters, and I've often thought that perhaps this is my kind of purgatory; Because I fell so insensibly and head over heels in love before and was still rampantly tortured and undermined, I was unwilling to see myself in any sort of attainable situation, And so everything had become some sort of fantastical delusion— Or perhaps even a hope that I could at the very least Become something greater; in that understanding the factors that were determining the outcomes of these other peoples lives I for whatever reason seemed to be magnetized to, I could emulate myself into a situation where none of it any longer mattered. Still, it was some sort of strange fascination that anytime someone seemingly out of place appeared somewhere in my dreams or in my rampant and running thoughts, they just so happened to be hovering somewhere near this [concept], and while it seemed some sort of intriguing, it was also deeply troubling, and dangerous, and wore on my consciousness in ways I could not consider well at all, or forward thinking Discussing this sort of feelings would simply mean a diagnosis of some sort of delusions, but without the risk of doing that far, I could simply only attribute it to some sort of spiritual purpose, which at the very least in the safest way, was most probably one sided. I was just a troubled girl in a lot of pain, and somehow my brain was wrapping itself around a way to manage this constant sort of torture. Oh this is so much funnier with the [redactions] Agreed. It was different, maybe, not because it sounded different. It sounded the same, exactly. But the difference was, I was listening as a producer, and not as some girl that was in love with him. Or— thought she was. Now I didn't think anything much besides how well it would mash with any of my other favorite songs, by my other favorite artists— or how it was mixed just right and how some sounds hit in the head, and some in the top and how I knew how to do that, but I was kind of lazy. I thought about the glue that held everything together, which is what pissed me off about his music— sounds that didn't come apart and made entirely new sounds together from whatever they once were, because they were so meticulously plastered that way. This kind of engineering gave way to perfectly round spheres elsewhere, or perhaps even the kind of colors in other music but wasn't so much any one thing or another here. Perhaps the point was, that at the time, it was sort of abstract in a way that set a new norm. Now everyone sounded like him— besides him: who could say who he really was presently anyway, besides him, if even that— or the people around him; a constantly changing array of whatever's…things and persons I'd stopped being mad about ages ago. At least, sort of. I was still kind of mad, but more that I still just paled in comparison, and almost that I'd lost total interest, besides learning this: what I could apply to it now, knowing what I knew, but still might never possibly achieve, not at this point anymore because I couldn't..:but perhaps because I didn't want to. And it really was great— eight or ten or twelve Grammies great, but I was just kind of— not that. Not the way I used to be. Still, I gave myself the benefit of the doubt. [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] -Ū. Death of A Superstar DJ Copyright athe Complex Collective © 2025 All Rights Reserved.

I had to hsve still believed in magic to some degree, because in all of the applicable ways it made sense, I applied it— much with reverence and spirituality such is religion, all of my ritual occultation was indeed still based in the science of source, as to say that God itself was all the major diety I needed to call upon, in prayer and in this thought process. I was more in alignment with this definition of divinity than with any given science or religion, or rather an antithesis of either, because as it seemed the walls would draw in on one or another, I found myself and my God at the center of all things, both dark and light— encompassing both the greatness of what was as known, and also not— the words and words seeming to pour from me like another space in time was held inside myself and beyond what even I could have understood. I couldn't force my artwork, and even knowing that I was slipping between the cracks as far as deadlines were concerned I was wreaking havoc in another realm of artistic torture— knowing what I already had, but could not possibly forage or put out— my unplublished works a daunting reminder of what was about me, but was not known. Then again, as an artist, I wondered had I any purpose at all in being known, or was it just some kind of harsh injustice to my own talent that I would hide in the shadows while I presumed some other alias or moniker would take the spotlight, and especially so for some of my more controversial tones and pieces. Overall, I was devastated that these two years just as any other period in my life seemed just to be a fight against whatever the opposite of God was and my own absence from this light I with desperation called upon over and over— with the knowing well that in time and never my own that it did work, and that this magic and occult was a real substance, but never in the way that I might think or understand, and most certainly not under the guise of any rules of expectation. I was a flying saucer in the vast expanse of outer known time, and my own body was something like a waking memory of sliver for all that was and all I had done and could do in conciousness. In that aspect, I was not awake, and only dreaming in a way that was personified by my self in the physical realm where I seemed to be having some kind of shattered montage of a life awakened from a death sleep and into the afterlife of an only somewhat waking world— the twisted bodies surrounding none less than the half capacity I'd ever had to congulate an imaged world in my own fortune, and I was sure otherwise I was half braindead or some partial version of a somewhat paralyzed and seemingly unconscious drone of one world or another, my inner essence escaping for freedom and in the silent darkness screaming up to the gathered surface to please pull the plug— to let me pass on, and to go into the world of fortune; under the circumstances it appeared as if the darkness was always grasping at its chance to imprison even this of what was left, along the lines of gratitude I felt shattered but also honored; whatever I was had also kept itself tied to these words and these colorful arts as a hidden sign that there was a truth in this previous life that had went unsaid. And so magic it was as it pertained to God because I believed in both or as one as another or one in the same. I am, dog on a leash I am heart full of love I am all out of time I am all out of home I couldn't make any sense of what seemed to be some kind of telepathic connection with the host of the tonight show, which I kept at a safe enough and respectable distance, but perhaps maybe it was telemetry. Perhaps somehow my strange frequency was intercepting with a broadcast signal, or a radio tower, or perhaps it was the show itself— as I called it, the ghost of Johnny Carson. Overall I hadn't meant for it to happen, but it did seem to always kind of rather by accident happen— my strange dreams of all the people coming together for the 50th anniversary of Saturday night live, and though for some or whatever reason thinking it would stop, but it hadn't, and in fact rumbling thoughts of mark wahlberg and some of the other recent guests could not have been a coincidence, nor could have been what seemed at the time Robert Dinero or any of the others who had been blooming in my mind in the weeks leading up to the event and I couldn't have considered it any more after being unable to focus on anything besides what seemed to have been a protruding vein from the poor man's forehead, which for myself had made me promise not to look at all too closely— Then, here it was nearly a year later and I couldn't do anything but momentarily curse aloud and pause in the thought of not letting myself go north of where I was in my media calling; even in the modern world of horrid things one human being does to another, under no circumstances whatsoever could I continue l to belittle and downplay my own self respect, especially in the grips of something that felt like a more rising sense of urgency than ever— I hadn't had sex in year with anyone, and there were very few things I actually wanted. I was increasingly picky to my own demise, and increasingly delusional, and vulnarable in such a sense that anything I knew I wanted, I also knew to respect myself enough to stay far away from. Not so much the double edged sword was this than simply knowing better— the other hosts and almost all the world were safe— this was not. I kept it out of the news And out of my head For awhile now; I kept it out of the noose As far as my head is concerned But after awhile, when I started to smile It was thinking of you; Now more than ever I've got more than nothing to lose. I'm a straight jacket away from an Oscar And eight days from my triumph I called also the Ace of the Spades, The Club and the Diamond I'm tipping my hat to your making But playing for tips And paying for service I've got more than four words But the forward was barely a dollar. I'm rarely a savage, But also, your honor I give not a gasp but a grasping at petals And strings of a flower The rock to a kite And a wind in the forager, So much beyond what I know is unmasked In my country not home But a foreigner CHAOS It took me two times to find you out.. It's not my fault, I'm not the one. CHAOS And still, you saw what God I was. The god of Chaos, not my love. You are not my king! “Not my king” he says I— And yet am king; A king of kind; The king of thieves! And you, my grace? Caring verily fir your thanks And what if my remarks? The careless woman! And of swords. Adeiu. But still untied I gallop! (Turning) And yet I stay. To careless words. A triumph. Not to mark my time to dust As there to wait in forests wonder, Catching, maybe, as you were But still my tied to bark an order To what! Your making. My kind! And gathered. The wake to drift the call to forward, And coming in the mark I gathered Your ties be mind, And yet the waiting shadows foraged (And also in the art I bathe) Several other ballads pondered To mine ties, your art my word Your thought my song, And wind my fortune And so you are, then my kite! I am both what kite and wind you may; But what of stone and rock? [suddenly, in modern tongue] I'm glad you asked. CUT TO: CONAN O BRIEN wakes up suddenly in his pleated blue pajamas from what seems like a very deep sleep. CONAN Surfing? I think I will go surfing. He gets out of bed and stares out of the window at the sunrise; it is a picturesque Californian day. {Enter the multiverse} I guess any time I try to terminate my state of being, I am annihilated You're really right; this is a death curse You're really right, this is a death curse Any time I try to find my way out, I am exiled You're right, this is a time bomb You're right, I've got my eyes closed Are there any intimate conclusions? Are there any derelictions, or delusions? And redactions or delirium, any infinity? Any fear at all? I hear you now I all bleed blue I'm born to suffer Stuff the earplugs in a little deeper little longer, Then we all get caught in martyrdom Or someone else's story Ooh, you started it Not now, God! He was born and gone in such an instant That I bark to love him First as dog and then as servant Other Master is absolved and yet absorbent I get caught in my own foul ball I have missed for trains Just decided to cast you all out The demons wandered Just like they wanted The snake still slithered, The owl still called I was also cosmic once Just I just forgot I was never pardoned Oh who are I I smell howling. Hogties withered out ones, Wondered weathered swallows When I see Whether or not You tip your hat to my making— The ball rolls, The owl cries, The harp sings, The hare runs, The mark, my cause. I am your forager. Then, gripping in the wakes The calls that bantered Not here or owl, I Not dog or rabbit, No wake and no fortune You are to run Or lest be tortured You are our call No, for what They says have ceased and the harp has stung sound, Not one but two sour notes aching, And there I bartered with all but nothing that I had To love, the power Then angst in me mine soul and my ties, My ways were na'er seek but shattered also I lake in lessons and drift in oceans and drown in all our skies, azure and lavender, Creeping in the cape that is both overshadowed our, I Gripping in the ways seeks foreign to none and also listened in your foyer Waking not as ghosts but yet as haunted Here tith thee my tide and I bade farewell And fate he they to keep our half tide I am hiding in your wakes and in my foreign I am forgotten and also withered, gathered! I am decrcrepit and unloved kept secret I am as shamed and as unwell as all our sick and tired Poor and outside I am as outside as the grass and trees have slaughtered I am as ancient as before the oceans tide did bring, my kind did watch your light come for us out of darkness And into my shores of only oceans you not know, My thoughts be born into your shadows And my own making is your honor Whatever that means This Is creepy. You're right! Fly bird! Fly! Uh. Did you bring a bird with you into the office. Kind of Kind of? Yes or no? I think of him fondly I killed myself on his birthday he didn't even want me But luckily it's also Obama's Birthday, that is I was not hot enough To this day I want another body Aftermarket Parts With happy accidents {enter the multiverse} Kind of! What does that even mean! Bird, go away! It means “kind of!” He follows me everywhere. What! Thais ridiculous. It is. Ridiculous! See, I've got to figure this out, because it seems like, indirectly, sometimes the weird and random things going on in my head, are at least very partially Actually [nevermind] This makes whatever I'm supposed to do increasingly difficult, on the basis that [Ahem] SNL alumni that [uncontrollable fit of hysterical coughing] ago. I can't understand what I might have done to deserve this kind of torture— My own accidental muses have all been [birds, at some point or another], Untouchable, entirely separate other monsters, and I've often thought that perhaps this is my kind of purgatory; Because I fell so insensibly and head over heels in love before and was still rampantly tortured and undermined, I was unwilling to see myself in any sort of attainable situation, And so everything had become some sort of fantastical delusion— Or perhaps even a hope that I could at the very least Become something greater; in that understanding the factors that were determining the outcomes of these other peoples lives I for whatever reason seemed to be magnetized to, I could emulate myself into a situation where none of it any longer mattered. Still, it was some sort of strange fascination that anytime someone seemingly out of place appeared somewhere in my dreams or in my rampant and running thoughts, they just so happened to be hovering somewhere near this [concept], and while it seemed some sort of intriguing, it was also deeply troubling, and dangerous, and wore on my consciousness in ways I could not consider well at all, or forward thinking Discussing this sort of feelings would simply mean a diagnosis of some sort of delusions, but without the risk of doing that far, I could simply only attribute it to some sort of spiritual purpose, which at the very least in the safest way, was most probably one sided. I was just a troubled girl in a lot of pain, and somehow my brain was wrapping itself around a way to manage this constant sort of torture. Oh this is so much funnier with the [redactions] Agreed. It was different, maybe, not because it sounded different. It sounded the same, exactly. But the difference was, I was listening as a producer, and not as some girl that was in love with him. Or— thought she was. Now I didn't think anything much besides how well it would mash with any of my other favorite songs, by my other favorite artists— or how it was mixed just right and how some sounds hit in the head, and some in the top and how I knew how to do that, but I was kind of lazy. I thought about the glue that held everything together, which is what pissed me off about his music— sounds that didn't come apart and made entirely new sounds together from whatever they once were, because they were so meticulously plastered that way. This kind of engineering gave way to perfectly round spheres elsewhere, or perhaps even the kind of colors in other music but wasn't so much any one thing or another here. Perhaps the point was, that at the time, it was sort of abstract in a way that set a new norm. Now everyone sounded like him— besides him: who could say who he really was presently anyway, besides him, if even that— or the people around him; a constantly changing array of whatever's…things and persons I'd stopped being mad about ages ago. At least, sort of. I was still kind of mad, but more that I still just paled in comparison, and almost that I'd lost total interest, besides learning this: what I could apply to it now, knowing what I knew, but still might never possibly achieve, not at this point anymore because I couldn't..:but perhaps because I didn't want to. And it really was great— eight or ten or twelve Grammies great, but I was just kind of— not that. Not the way I used to be. Still, I gave myself the benefit of the doubt. [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] -Ū. Death of A Superstar DJ Copyright athe Complex Collective © 2025 All Rights Reserved.

This Advent message explores Isaiah's vision of swords turned into plowshares and invites us to choose God's peace in a fearful world. Through Spirit-led imagination and daily faithfulness, we become peacemakers shaped by the world God intends to bring.

Yawwwwnnn!! Waking up tired, dragging and lack the mojo to get S#** done? Dr. Eric busts this up with his Muscle Medicine approach to boosting energy naturally and tearing through your day!If you'd like to optimize your hormones and cellular health within 90 days, without complicated medical visits or piecing together fragmented solutions from multiple providers.If you'd like to optimize your hormones and cellular health within 90 days, without complicated medical visits or piecing together fragmented solutions from multiple providers.If you'd like to optimize your hormones and cellular health within 90 days, without complicated medical visits or piecing together fragmented solutions from multiple providers.https://www.drericprimex.com/dr-eric-platinum-program/

The artist reserves all rights to intellectual property maintained and produced by any and all publications of this series and is thereby protected under any applicable copyright law and/or trademark. All fictionalizations of persons living or dead are meant to be perceived as characterized and/or fictional (fan-fiction) are for entertainment purposes only, and are not to be perceived as real re-enactments, dramatizations of events past or present, media dialogues or agendas, or factual exchanges pertaining to and surrounding real-life circumstances. The dialogues and entires expressed in this project are in no way liable for any action, expression, disagreements, entitlements held by the reader at his or her/ their own discretion. I guess any time I try to terminate my state of being, I am annihilated You're really right; this is a death curse You're really right, this is a death curse Any time I try to find my way out, I am exiled You're right, this is a time bomb You're right, I've got my eyes closed Are there any intimate conclusions? Are there any derelictions, or delusions? And redactions or delirium, any infinity? Any fear at all? I hear you now I all bleed blue I'm born to suffer Stuff the earplugs in a little deeper little longer, Then we all get caught in martyrdom Or someone else's story Ooh, you started it Not now, God! He was born and gone in such an instant That I bark to love him First as dog and then as servant Other Master is absolved and yet absorbent I get caught in my own foul ball I have missed for trains Just decided to cast you all out The demons wandered Just like they wanted The snake still slithered, The owl still called I was also cosmic once Just I just forgot I was never pardoned Oh who are I I smell howling. Hogties withered out ones, Wondered weathered swallows When I see Whether or not You tip your hat to my making— The ball rolls, The owl cries, The harp sings, The hare runs, The mark, my cause. I am your forager. Then, gripping in the wakes The calls that bantered Not here or owl, I Not dog or rabbit, No wake and no fortune You are to run Or lest be tortured You are our call No, for what They says have ceased and the harp has stung sound, Not one but two sour notes aching, And there I bartered with all but nothing that I had To love, the power Then angst in me mine soul and my ties, My ways were na'er seek but shattered also I lake in lessons and drift in oceans and drown in all our skies, azure and lavender, Creeping in the cape that is both overshadowed our, I Gripping in the ways seeks foreign to none and also listened in your foyer Waking not as ghosts but yet as haunted Here tith thee my tide and I bade farewell And fate he they to keep our half tide I am hiding in your wakes and in my foreign I am forgotten and also withered, gathered! I am decrcrepit and unloved kept secret I am as shamed and as unwell as all our sick and tired Poor and outside I am as outside as the grass and trees have slaughtered I am as ancient as before the oceans tide did bring, my kind did watch your light come for us out of darkness And into my shores of only oceans you not know, My thoughts be born into your shadows And my own making is your honor Whatever that means This Is creepy. You're right! Fly bird! Fly! Uh. Did you bring a bird with you into the office. Kind of Kind of? Yes or no? I think of him fondly I killed myself on his birthday he didn't even want me But luckily it's also Obama's Birthday, that is I was not hot enough To this day I want another body Aftermarket Parts With happy accidents {enter the multiverse} Kind of! What does that even mean! Bird, go away! It means “kind of!” He follows me everywhere. What! Thais ridiculous. It is. Ridiculous! [The Festival Project ™] The Complex Collective © {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright © The Complex Collective 2025 All Rights Reserved

The artist reserves all rights to intellectual property maintained and produced by any and all publications of this series and is thereby protected under any applicable copyright law and/or trademark. All fictionalizations of persons living or dead are meant to be perceived as characterized and/or fictional (fan-fiction) are for entertainment purposes only, and are not to be perceived as real re-enactments, dramatizations of events past or present, media dialogues or agendas, or factual exchanges pertaining to and surrounding real-life circumstances. The dialogues and entires expressed in this project are in no way liable for any action, expression, disagreements, entitlements held by the reader at his or her/ their own discretion. I guess any time I try to terminate my state of being, I am annihilated You're really right; this is a death curse You're really right, this is a death curse Any time I try to find my way out, I am exiled You're right, this is a time bomb You're right, I've got my eyes closed Are there any intimate conclusions? Are there any derelictions, or delusions? And redactions or delirium, any infinity? Any fear at all? I hear you now I all bleed blue I'm born to suffer Stuff the earplugs in a little deeper little longer, Then we all get caught in martyrdom Or someone else's story Ooh, you started it Not now, God! He was born and gone in such an instant That I bark to love him First as dog and then as servant Other Master is absolved and yet absorbent I get caught in my own foul ball I have missed for trains Just decided to cast you all out The demons wandered Just like they wanted The snake still slithered, The owl still called I was also cosmic once Just I just forgot I was never pardoned Oh who are I I smell howling. Hogties withered out ones, Wondered weathered swallows When I see Whether or not You tip your hat to my making— The ball rolls, The owl cries, The harp sings, The hare runs, The mark, my cause. I am your forager. Then, gripping in the wakes The calls that bantered Not here or owl, I Not dog or rabbit, No wake and no fortune You are to run Or lest be tortured You are our call No, for what They says have ceased and the harp has stung sound, Not one but two sour notes aching, And there I bartered with all but nothing that I had To love, the power Then angst in me mine soul and my ties, My ways were na'er seek but shattered also I lake in lessons and drift in oceans and drown in all our skies, azure and lavender, Creeping in the cape that is both overshadowed our, I Gripping in the ways seeks foreign to none and also listened in your foyer Waking not as ghosts but yet as haunted Here tith thee my tide and I bade farewell And fate he they to keep our half tide I am hiding in your wakes and in my foreign I am forgotten and also withered, gathered! I am decrcrepit and unloved kept secret I am as shamed and as unwell as all our sick and tired Poor and outside I am as outside as the grass and trees have slaughtered I am as ancient as before the oceans tide did bring, my kind did watch your light come for us out of darkness And into my shores of only oceans you not know, My thoughts be born into your shadows And my own making is your honor Whatever that means This Is creepy. You're right! Fly bird! Fly! Uh. Did you bring a bird with you into the office. Kind of Kind of? Yes or no? I think of him fondly I killed myself on his birthday he didn't even want me But luckily it's also Obama's Birthday, that is I was not hot enough To this day I want another body Aftermarket Parts With happy accidents {enter the multiverse} Kind of! What does that even mean! Bird, go away! It means “kind of!” He follows me everywhere. What! Thais ridiculous. It is. Ridiculous! [The Festival Project ™] The Complex Collective © {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright © The Complex Collective 2025 All Rights Reserved

The artist reserves all rights to intellectual property maintained and produced by any and all publications of this series and is thereby protected under any applicable copyright law and/or trademark. All fictionalizations of persons living or dead are meant to be perceived as characterized and/or fictional (fan-fiction) are for entertainment purposes only, and are not to be perceived as real re-enactments, dramatizations of events past or present, media dialogues or agendas, or factual exchanges pertaining to and surrounding real-life circumstances. The dialogues and entires expressed in this project are in no way liable for any action, expression, disagreements, entitlements held by the reader at his or her/ their own discretion. I guess any time I try to terminate my state of being, I am annihilated You're really right; this is a death curse You're really right, this is a death curse Any time I try to find my way out, I am exiled You're right, this is a time bomb You're right, I've got my eyes closed Are there any intimate conclusions? Are there any derelictions, or delusions? And redactions or delirium, any infinity? Any fear at all? I hear you now I all bleed blue I'm born to suffer Stuff the earplugs in a little deeper little longer, Then we all get caught in martyrdom Or someone else's story Ooh, you started it Not now, God! He was born and gone in such an instant That I bark to love him First as dog and then as servant Other Master is absolved and yet absorbent I get caught in my own foul ball I have missed for trains Just decided to cast you all out The demons wandered Just like they wanted The snake still slithered, The owl still called I was also cosmic once Just I just forgot I was never pardoned Oh who are I I smell howling. Hogties withered out ones, Wondered weathered swallows When I see Whether or not You tip your hat to my making— The ball rolls, The owl cries, The harp sings, The hare runs, The mark, my cause. I am your forager. Then, gripping in the wakes The calls that bantered Not here or owl, I Not dog or rabbit, No wake and no fortune You are to run Or lest be tortured You are our call No, for what They says have ceased and the harp has stung sound, Not one but two sour notes aching, And there I bartered with all but nothing that I had To love, the power Then angst in me mine soul and my ties, My ways were na'er seek but shattered also I lake in lessons and drift in oceans and drown in all our skies, azure and lavender, Creeping in the cape that is both overshadowed our, I Gripping in the ways seeks foreign to none and also listened in your foyer Waking not as ghosts but yet as haunted Here tith thee my tide and I bade farewell And fate he they to keep our half tide I am hiding in your wakes and in my foreign I am forgotten and also withered, gathered! I am decrcrepit and unloved kept secret I am as shamed and as unwell as all our sick and tired Poor and outside I am as outside as the grass and trees have slaughtered I am as ancient as before the oceans tide did bring, my kind did watch your light come for us out of darkness And into my shores of only oceans you not know, My thoughts be born into your shadows And my own making is your honor Whatever that means This Is creepy. You're right! Fly bird! Fly! Uh. Did you bring a bird with you into the office. Kind of Kind of? Yes or no? I think of him fondly I killed myself on his birthday he didn't even want me But luckily it's also Obama's Birthday, that is I was not hot enough To this day I want another body Aftermarket Parts With happy accidents {enter the multiverse} Kind of! What does that even mean! Bird, go away! It means “kind of!” He follows me everywhere. What! Thais ridiculous. It is. Ridiculous! [The Festival Project ™] The Complex Collective © {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright © The Complex Collective 2025 All Rights Reserved

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3826: Jay and Heather Harrington share how reclaiming the quiet hours of early morning can transform long-stalled goals into daily progress. With practical tips and personal insights, they reveal why waking early isn't just a habit, it's a pathway to clarity, productivity, and meaningful achievement. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.lifeandwhim.com/first-moments-blog/magic-early-morning Quotes to ponder: "The early morning hours are peaceful and quiet, and therefore productive." "How you start your day determines the quality of your day, and how you spend your days determines the quality of your life." "Start Slowly. If you wake up at 7 a.m. now, don't immediately start setting the alarm for 5 a.m. Waking up early is a muscle you need to exercise." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3826: Jay and Heather Harrington share how reclaiming the quiet hours of early morning can transform long-stalled goals into daily progress. With practical tips and personal insights, they reveal why waking early isn't just a habit, it's a pathway to clarity, productivity, and meaningful achievement. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.lifeandwhim.com/first-moments-blog/magic-early-morning Quotes to ponder: "The early morning hours are peaceful and quiet, and therefore productive." "How you start your day determines the quality of your day, and how you spend your days determines the quality of your life." "Start Slowly. If you wake up at 7 a.m. now, don't immediately start setting the alarm for 5 a.m. Waking up early is a muscle you need to exercise." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3826: Jay and Heather Harrington share how reclaiming the quiet hours of early morning can transform long-stalled goals into daily progress. With practical tips and personal insights, they reveal why waking early isn't just a habit, it's a pathway to clarity, productivity, and meaningful achievement. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.lifeandwhim.com/first-moments-blog/magic-early-morning Quotes to ponder: "The early morning hours are peaceful and quiet, and therefore productive." "How you start your day determines the quality of your day, and how you spend your days determines the quality of your life." "Start Slowly. If you wake up at 7 a.m. now, don't immediately start setting the alarm for 5 a.m. Waking up early is a muscle you need to exercise." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

reference: Sri Aurobindo, Bases of Yoga, Chapter 3, In Difficulty, pg. 48This episode is also available as a blog post at https://sriaurobindostudies.wordpress.com/2025/11/27/the-separation-of-states-of-conscious-awareness-between-the-waking-state-the-sleep-state-and-the-spiritual-realms/Video presentations, interviews and podcast episodes are allavailable on the YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@santoshkrinsky871More information about Sri Aurobindo can be found at www.aurobindo.net  The US editions and links to e-book editions of SriAurobindo's writings can be found at Lotus Press www.lotuspress.com#Sri Aurobindo #yoga #integral yoga #samadhi #sleep #consciousness #spirituality

Never Waking by Maya by 826 Valencia

Friendzone Skeptics: Part 1. Old classmates spend a week together, and find more. Based on a post by cilma rae. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Chris Benbury and Jennifer Sanders tell the tale of how their friendship took decades to transform into a life connection. We're going to let them tell just how it happened. I'm Jennifer Sanders. In high school, I was Jenny, or Jenn. One fall day in the early nineties, Chris and I met at our high school. When? What, like the exact moment? Heck, I dunno. It was a small school, and everyone knew everyone; for the most part. It wasn't until after college that we'd connected again. Just friends, we'd meet up for lunch here and there. A text about family would show up, and one of us would respond with a smile or a few updates on their own life. He was always supportive of my goals, and I was very proud to know him and to witness all he had accomplished as well. Chris would date here and there, but there was never anything serious. I was so busy trying to move up in my career field that sometimes, I'd not even realize that two months had gone by since my last; um, well, even the thought of sex was rare. I was pretty happy excelling in the successes of my own business. It was when I turned 35 that I realized I might have let a little too much time go by. "Jenn," my mom lamented in her usual way on our weekly call, "when am I gonna have grand babies?" "Um, Mom? You have six grandchildren," I reminded her as I thought about my three nephews and three nieces produced by the mix of my three brothers and their amazing wives. "Oh, Jennifer," Mom chided, "you know what I mean. You're my only daughter. No boyfriend, at least that I've heard of. No talk of relationships at all. What about Chris? Do you still talk to him? He was always such a sweet boy in high school. You mentioned that you two keep in touch, right?" "Oh, Mother!" I argued. "Chris is a friend, a very good one at that. It's not like that though." "Well, just think on it, OK?" she requested as if my answer wasn't acceptable. "You never know. I mean, remember how I told you that I didn't realize I was meant to be with your father until;" "Until he kissed you, I know," I mocked and shook my head as I had said each word exactly as she had, only my words were dripping with sarcasm. "Mom, I have never been in a position to kiss Chris. He's a good friend. He dates. We share stories and encourage each other in our work ventures. It's just not like that." "OK, I'm just saying;" she announced as she always did when she finally gave up. "Are you coming for Easter?" "Of course, Mom," I answered as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'll bring the pistachio salad as usual, and it's my turn to bring their basket contents this year." "Oh, honey," Mom noted and signed. "I know you're the only one without kids, but the boys sure do appreciate that you participate in the 'taking turns' idea for the kids." I couldn't help but smile as she called my 31 , 32, and 34 year-old brothers "the boys." I think I'd actually have to put more brain power into grasping who they were if she were to refer to them as "my brothers." She had always grouped them together when speaking with me. "Oh, believe me," I corrected of her apology, "it's not only no bother, but I'm stoked to get to fill their baskets once every four years. I look forward to earning my properly worded title of 'Best Aunt Ever' twice in those years. Naturally, I have that honor every Christmas!" "Yes, well, just don't show up your brothers with too expensive gifts," she reminded me as she did all the time. She was unaware that I made sure to reach out to my sisters-in-law each year to not only get great (and appropriate) gifts for the family celebration, but also added a few for under their trees in their own homes which would be marked from "Santa." It made my heart full to give them a little extra since I had the means to do it. As I laid in bed that night, I thought about what my mom had suggested. Chris? Really? Had I ever thought about that option? I scoffed and shook my head in the dark. Nah. He was just a friend! I was about to fall asleep when my phone chirped. It was charging on the table next to my bed, so I reached over blindly and picked it up. "I'm really sorry if this is waking you, but I need to talk to you." I didn't think twice and called Chris' sister, Cindy, to see what was going on. We hadn't talked in a long while, but I had her number saved from a surprise party we had thrown for Chris when he had turned 30. "Jenn?" Cindy questioned when answering on the second ring. "Yeah, Cindy, it's me," I confirmed. "What's up?" "Chris was in a car accident!" she exclaimed and let out a sigh as she took the moment to catch her bearings. "Well, oh, gosh," I reacted as I wasn't sure what the severity was. "Is he OK?" I asked as most humans would think to ask next. "Yes, thank God!" Cindy answered and hiccupped. "Oh, I guess I should have led with that. His car is totaled thanks to the jerk who cut him off, but we are at the hospital because he has some injuries." "That makes sense," I replied and shook my head. "Cindy, what's up? I mean, I appreciate the call, and I am happy to check in on him tomorrow, but;" "Well, that's just it," Cindy quickly interrupted. "Um, yeah; so, Dex and I were supposed to be leaving tonight for a week away. Chris is going to need some assistance, so I was wondering, you know, if maybe you could help out?" "Help out?" I asked, dumbfounded. "Cindy, what exactly does 'need some assistance' mean?" "Um, well; he has a concussion, so the doctor mentioned that he shouldn't be left alone for a while," she explained. "No more than a week or so, I think. I mean, as his only sibling, it was logical that I was asked to do it, you know? But we have these tickets, and the trip;" "So, how would it work?" I asked before she rubbed in her little romantic vacation anymore. "He will obviously not be able to work. Would he be able to come to stay at my place, or?" "Oh, I asked that too," Cindy answered. "The doctor said it is best at his place since he knows it the best. You know, corners, walls, and stuff in case he gets dizzy." "So, I'd have to move into his place?" "Yeah," she answered and got quiet. I ran over the short list in my head of other people who could possibly take the position of which I was being offered and realized there was no one else who could do it. His mom was too old and didn't get around very well. His dad was out of the picture. His guy friends were either busy with their married lives or irresponsible enough to not trust in such a position. No, Cindy was right to call me. Now I had to get going. Did I pack? What about my place? Could I leave to check on it throughout the week? Could he come with me? So many questions. "Jenn, are you still there?" I nearly dropped the phone when I heard Cindy calling out to me. "Shoot! Oh, Cindy, I'm sorry. Yes, tell the doctor I'll be there within the hour. I'll grab my things and figure out the other stuff tomorrow. Will you be there?" "Oh, um, we were going to go since he's asleep. Did you need me to stay;" "No, go," I answered and shook my head as I said it. "Go have a blast on your trip. Check in as you can, but don't worry. I'll take care of him." "Oh, thank you, Jenn! I knew you'd be there for him." We continued our niceties as I got dressed again and packed while she told me his room number and promised to text me the information too. We hung up as I zipped my bad shut and headed for the bedroom door. I pointed at the several places my most immediately needed items were usually located and found that I'd packed them all, including my phone charger.     When I entered the hospital, I made my way to the elevator to go straight to Chris' room. I knew it was after hours for the most part, but if I was going to be his person, I had to get in there to speak with the doctor to find out what was required of me. "Excuse me? Can I help you?" a nurse asked as I was looking at the wall to find which direction I needed to go to find the room. "I'm here to see Chris Benbury," I explained. "My name is Jennifer;" "Sanders?" She questioned and nodded when I showed surprise. "Sorry. Chris' sister, Cindy, told us to be expecting you. I'm Marita, and I was here when Chris was brought in, so you can come to me if you have any questions or concerns until 6am when the shift changes. Come with me, hun, and we'll get you comfortable in his room. When I see the doctor, I'll send him in to answer your questions." "Thank you," I answered quietly. The severity of Chris' injuries was still in question, but the fact that I was walking in a hospital being led by a nurse hit me a little. I felt the emotions welling up, so I put up my finger as if to request that we stop so I could collect myself. "Oh, honey! It's alright!" Marita sympathized and rubbed my back. "He's going to be just fine!" I laughed a little at her need to comfort me and shook my head as I wiped my eyes. "Oh, my gosh. This is so stupid. I can't believe I'm standing here crying. I don't know what's come over me!" I inhaled deeply and accepted the tissue Marita offered. As I wiped my eyes, I let out another laugh. "I'm alright. It's just that I am standing here in a hospital, and the sudden realization that Chris could have been really hurt badly, or even;" "Oops! No, no, girl," Marita chided. "No, we aren't going down that road. Chris is going to be just fine. He just got banged up a little. We are monitoring him well, but once you take him home, he'll improve each day. It's just the concussion that has us worried a little bit." "I appreciate it," I responded and nodded. "Thank you. Thanks for letting me get this out before we go in there." "Honey, I gotchu," Marita offered and patted my back again. "Ready? He's right in here." I nodded, so the nurse gave a gentle knock on the door and then pushed it open. It would appear that she did the knocking thing as a habit, but she also seemed to know he was going to be asleep when we walked in. "He has a concussion from the collision. From what I heard, he was turning right onto the street when an impatient son of a b, ," she began to say but stopped herself and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, I mean; when the other driver came along on the shoulder to pass him. I don't know for sure, but the police indicated that the man was being impatient and tried to go around illegally. Because the other driver wasn't paying attention, Chris' continued proper turn into his lane caused a sudden need for the other guy to have to swerve and slammed directly into Chris' car." "Yeah," I replied as I bent over to look at the face of the man who held the honor of one of my longest running friendships, "Cindy mentioned that his car was totaled. It's a shame," I noted as I pushed some hair from Chris' forehead, "because he loved that car. He had it ordered exactly the way he had wanted it only about nine months ago." "That is a shame," Marita echoed. "Well, he's going to have some bruises and aches and pains for a good few days, but other than that, it's the dizziness which might be an issue." Marita continued to check stats and document them since she was in the room. "Well, I'll leave you to visit with him. You can pull out the bed, and the remote is next to his bed if you want to watch something. When I see the doctor, I'll let him know you're here and waiting for instructions." "Thank you, Marita," I responded and nodded.   My name is Christopher Benbury. This is how I got around to getting together with Jennnifer. "Jenn?" My best friend, Jenn Sanders, awoke and looked around as if to try figuring out where she was and who was calling her name. "Jenn? What are you doing here?" I repeated. "Hmm, Chris," she answered and raised her arms to stretch. The chair must have been comfortable, but I don't think she had expected to fall asleep quite so deeply. "Cindy called me after your accident," she explained. "Since she's got her trip with Dax, I came to be your aide for the next week as you heal." "She called you?" I asked and reached up to touch my head. "Ow, stupid headache. Oh, crap! Cindy's trip. Wasn't there anyone else she could have called?" "Wow," she answered sarcastically. "Thanks." "Oh, shit, Jenn," I responded suddenly. I wanted to smack my forehead for acting the way I was. It wasn't her fault I was in an accident, my car had been totaled, and I was waking up in a hospital. "Oh, crap, that's not what I meant. I just; why did she have to bother you?" "Well, I did the math as I pondered my ability to help out, and it comes down to the fact that I'm the only logical person since she's not available. Your mom isn't capable. Andy, Doug, and Erik are either married or, let's face it; not entirely responsible enough to hardly care for themselves; Doug," she muttered, though audibly. I couldn't blame her. Last she'd heard, Doug had locked himself out of his house in a drunken stupor and just slept on the concrete porch one late night. It turned out that he'd also opened his garage door and could have just gone into the house through there. Idiot. Had the weather been ten degrees colder, he could have died. When telling the story, though, he laughed all the way through it and proudly showed off his frozen burnt skin on his arm. I had to reach for Jenn's hand while he told his story to remind her that beating the crap out of the moron wasn't going to change anything. "OK, I suppose you have a point," I realized and laid my head back on the pillow. "Has the doctor been in?" "If he came in while I was sleeping, he didn't wake me up," she answered and stood up to stretch. "Would you want me to call Marita?" "Who?" I asked. Was I supposed to know who that was? Was she already trying to get out of helping me? Was Marita an aide who helped my mom? Why would Jenn know Mom's aides' names? "The nurse," she answered. "I can push the call button and have her come here to check on you, and maybe we could;" "Knock, knock!" Marita announced as she opened the door. "I thought I heard voices! Well, hello there, handsome! And good morning, Jennifer. Last time I was in here, you were hovering over him like a concerned lovebird." I looked over at Jenn, but she was watching Marita, and I couldn't see her face. Was she looking at me with concern? Lovebird? In all the time we'd be hanging out and talking, it had only ever been friendly. Lunches, a rare trip to the movies and shared popcorn, and texts almost every day. But more than friends? Why had Marita said it like that? "The doctor got called away to do surgery in the big city," Marita explained as she messed with the computer and attachments hooked up to my body, "so he left your case, Chris, with Dr. Chesney Ryan. She's due to come in at around 7am this morning. It's 5:30am now. Do either of you need anything? Chris, what is your pain level? Anything other than your head hurting, hun?" "Ask me again once I get out of bed," I requested and sighed. I pulled over the covers and realized I was in a gown. Well, crap. Nice way for my friend to see me for the first time in something other than normal clothes. Maybe I could hold the back together; "How about you, Jenn?" Marita asked. Fortunately, she was keeping Jenn's attention. Or maybe Jenn was just being kind and sparing me the humiliation. I held both sides of my gown together as I hurried to the bathroom to do my business. My friend. Jennifer Sanders and I met during our freshman year of high school. She was always kind to me. We hung out in large groups on occasion, and we laughed a lot when we sat next to one another in homeroom two years in a row. That was a lucky thing for me when many of the other parts of my life sucked so badly. I won't get into it, but let's just say, going to school was a blessing, especially when I got to see Jenn. I chickened out when dances came around, so she was never the wiser that I had a huge crush on her. All throughout high school, I had the pleasure of her company, so why ruin that? I decided during our junior year when I had heard that she'd accepted yet another request for her companionship as the quarterback's date for the next dance of the year to just let go of the dream that one day, she'd want me. And so it went. We graduated from high school in May. We went our separate ways, crossed paths at a restaurant and exchanged cell phone numbers, and reconnected. I have heard from her at least once a week, though recently, if I go two days without hearing from her, I check in. She has always given me the indication that she enjoys my company when we go out to lunch together, and laughter and endless chatting is a given. After countless times of having my mother and sister asking me why Jenn wasn't more to me, I threw up my hands and told them it just wasn't meant to be. Friendship is important to me, and the idea of scaring her away with my declaration of love just wasn't one to deal with. Waking up this morning and finding her there in the room with me was a shock, and I wasn't in the right mindset to acknowledge that my sister had asked Jenn to stay with me. It still wasn't sinking in. I think once the doctor came into the room to discuss the upcoming week of healing, we'd both begin to understand just what was expected of her. I just hoped she wouldn't abandon ship. OK, yes, she'd never do that, but would it cross her mind? When I walked into the room again, Jenn was going through her bag. "Oh, hey," she greeted me again. "I'm supposed to remind you to let Marita know before she leaves if you have any other concerns or pains. She's off at 6am." With her arm full of clothes, she pointed with her other hand. "Are you done in the bathroom? I was hoping to freshen up." "What for?" I asked as I covered myself with the sheet. "You're beautiful as always." "Oh, Chris," she chided and shook her head. "You're both biased and obligated to say so. We old people need to stick together," she claimed, to which I shook my head while rolling my eyes. Because she was always teasing that we were getting old. "And you have to say that because you know if you're mean to me, you'll be left all alone in that big house of yours when I storm out leaving you without anyone to pick you up when you faint." "Doesn't mean it's not true," I argued as she closed the bathroom door. If I was going too far, because I'd never said much of anything before indicating that I saw her as more than a friend, I could claim the concussion as an excuse.   Jenn Dr. Ryan came in just as Marita had indicated at around 7am. She was pleased with the tests she ran on Chris, but she was extremely glad to know that I had planned to spend the week with him at his place. "In the first few days, you should not spend much time on your feet. A shower is fine; but leave the door open so she can hear you. Try not to stand at the stove, for instance." "Oh, I've got meals covered all week," I interjected. "But what about walking?" "OK, good to know about the meals," Dr. Ryan responded. "No strenuous exercise, obviously, but walking is good. Jenn, perhaps plan to hold his arm so that you can feel his speed and stability. Fresh air is definitely helpful." "His bedroom is on the second floor," I informed the doctor. "Oh, I'll be taking the couch," Chris noted. "What?" I asked and shook my head. "Why would you?" "Actually, that's probably a great idea," Dr. Ryan responded. "Even if you help him up the stairs, he will need to come down. If everything is on the main floor, less to be concerned about." "Ha!" Chris teased. I stuck my tongue out at him. He was chivalrous, sure, but he was also stubborn. I could just as easily have stayed on the couch. "Well, I think I'm going to get the paperwork going for discharge," Dr. James told us both as she smirked at our playful nature. Jenn, if you have any concerns, don't hesitate to call my number." I reached out to take her card and gave her raised eyebrows. Her personal number? "I've found that having the patient or caregiver calling me instead of a hospital has dramatically helped in reducing unnecessary trips to the hospital, not to mention going through the painful process of hunting me or another doctor down. I'd say eight out of ten times? Yeah, one-minute Q & A, and the situation is handled. I can give up a minute here or there." I shook my head while smiling. Dr. Ryan just shrugged and winked at Chris. "Welp, are you ready to ditch this joint?" I asked Chris and laughed at my own expression. "Meals? Walks? And you're totally taking my bedroom," Chris added and pointed at me. "How long have you been planning these things?" "Before I fell asleep, I made a list of things I wanted to do or have handled. My brother will stop at my house to get the stuff I'll be texting him once I've assessed things at your house." "Which brother?" Chris asked. "Luke. Duh," I teased. He knew that too. Not only was Luke the brother I was closest to, but he lived closest also. "Well, I never know for sure which gospel writer it'll be," Chris teased. "Well, you know the answer is never John," I lamented. As you can probably surmise, my brothers' names are Matthew, Mark, and Luke, but my parents started with Luke (after me). Since my dad is John, he decided to go in reverse order. I never got that question wrong in Sunday school. "Anyways, he, Luke, will stop in each day at my house. I've contacted my troop and informed them of this situation. I'll be off work other than checking emails, so you can have my full attention." "Oh, well, lucky me," Chris teased. "I'd say so," I shot back. "So, my mail and house are covered. Luke will bring me my food and ingredients for all meals I have planned, and I will order the rest to be delivered." "My treat, of course," Chris interrupted. "I already have an account. I'll add whatever you want to get, but I'm paying." I huffed dramatically. "Ugh, fine," I whined. "We can watch movies, take naps, go for walks, and see how you're feeling each day." "I think Cindy called my boss last night, so I'll just check in with him when we get to my place," Chris noted. He inhaled for a second and then let out the air in a huff. "Jenn, are you sure you want to do this?" "Alright, that's twice," I accused. "What's with you? We went over this already. Why don't you want me to be with you? What did I do? Do you want me to call Doug?" "Jenn! No!" Chris exclaimed. He motioned for me to come sit by him. Seeing as he was still wearing that stupid gown, he couldn't exactly get up. I bowed my head and walked over to stand by the bed. He reached over to take my hand. "Sit, please." Once I did, he continued. "Jenn, I can't begin to explain to you how much it means to me that you're willing to help me out. This stupid accident, my totaled car, Cindy's vacation, my concussion, missing work, rearranging your life so that you can move in with me to babysit me;" "Wait, wait," I argued. "I'm not just some caregiver off the street. It's not like we just met at work a few years ago. I'm not just doing this because you need someone to help you. You're like; my best friend, Chris." I sighed and relaxed a little. "This is stupid, this little fit we're having. Look, you're in a situation that requires help. I'm in a situation that allows me to help you. You'd totally do the same for me, right?" "I mean, I guess, but your parents could easily;" "Chris, cut it out," I argued and playfully slapped his arm. "You'd totally do it and hardly take 'no' for an answer, right?" Chris nodded. "Let me do this. Let's make the most of it. We're always saying at lunches that we should do that more often. Well, we've got about a week's worth of meals to enjoy together. Besides," I teased, "you can see what kind of a cook I am. Maybe after this week, you'll see why it's good that we meet up at restaurants all the time." I shrugged, but Chris didn't laugh. "I just really appreciate it, Jenn," Chris stated quietly. "I'm not used to this, you know? I live alone. I don't depend on anyone. I haven't in years." "Yeah, well, me too," I agreed. "So, let's just see what happens, alright?" I requested and got up because the daytime nurse had knocked and entered the room. "Time to get dressed, young man," Georgie instructed and winked at me as she stood behind him to make sure his bottom remained covered. I turned and checked my bag to give him the decency of a little privacy. As we made our way to Chris' place, we made small talk. I had a list in my head of things needing to be done, but for now, I was thinking that picking up coffee and breakfast sandwiches seemed like the right move. The way Chris' face lit up at the mention of those things made me smile. Once in the house, I began going over my list of necessary items to make all the meals I'd planned for the week. I had a good idea of what I had at my own place since I had made my plans for the weeks' worth of meals a day earlier, so I just had to see what Chris had. I texted my brother the list, thanked him, and told Chris what needed to be purchased for delivery. Once that was all done, I took my things upstairs to his room and set myself up. I still felt bad for taking his room, but he assured me that he was going to sleep just fine on the couch. I only agreed if he was cool with me checking on him randomly throughout the night. He shrugged and agreed. He and I both handled work things for about an hour until the delivery came. I unpacked the groceries and made lunch. Chris joined me at the table, and we talked about movies we'd enjoy throughout the week. It was decided to go with any movies from our high school days for nostalgia's sake. While on a short walk around the block, I offered my arm, but he suggested holding my hand instead. I shrugged and gave it to him. I can't explain what happened, but something inside me awakened. My stomach tightened, my head swam a little, my heart rate sped up, and my skin tingled. He didn't seem to notice, so I tried to play it off and listen to what he was telling me.   Chris "What a beautiful day, huh?" I asked and looked around at our surroundings. "I'm surprised we don't even need a jacket. Easter is a couple weeks away, and I feel like it might even be shorts weather for some egg hunters this year." Jenn laughed. "Remember a couple years ago when you said that at lunch? It snowed on Easter morning that year. I made a comment to my mom about it when I woke up and found it white outside. I literally said aloud to my bedroom, 'Ha! Chris was totally wrong this time!'" "Alright, alright," I admitted and laughed with her. "I suppose I can be wrong some of the time." I squeezed her hand which made her look over at me. She had a different look in her eye than usual, but then again, we didn't ever hold hands like we were either. I admit, I suggested holding her hand for a few other reasons than just her ability to sense that I was losing stability. I had always wondered what it would be like to hold her hand. I wondered if I could get her to dance with me one day too. Maybe it wasn't too late to know what it felt like to hold her in my arms like I had wished for all those years ago. "Shall we go once more around, or was that enough for the day?" Jenn asked, which snapped me out of my little daydream. "Let's play it safe," I suggested and nodded toward the house. "Come on. I feel a little nap coming soon." "Ooo, a nap sounds amazing," Jenn reflected and smiled. "I might even sneak one in too. So, how's your head?" "Oh, I didn't even realize that the headache is practically gone," I informed her and smiled. I almost made mention about her ability to leave earlier than expected, but she didn't seem to like those comments. I guess it did make me seem hard on myself. I just didn't want her to feel like she had to be there if she didn't want to be. I made a pact with myself to stop the shitty comments degrading my self-esteem. She wasn't wrong. It was rather depressing to hear those words, even coming out of my own mouth. "That's great!" Jenn responded and gave me a thumbs up. "Well, let's get you inside and set you up for a nap." Jenn stopped and turned to face me. I had just realized that we were still holding hands. "In fact, let's head upstairs. We can both lie down, and that way, if you need something or don't feel right, I'll be right there." "Um, I mean, yeah. That seems like a good idea." "Right?" Jenn answered. "And also, you can take a shower, grab some fresh clothes, and then we can head down to have dinner and watch a movie or two." So, that's what we did. Jenn laid on the other part of my king size bed once I was set up on my usual side. We fell asleep facing away from each other. She'd set her alarm for two hours for "just in case." We didn't think a longer nap would be good for us. Sleeping the day away wasn't going to help me any, and she didn't want to be too awake at bedtime. I took my shower and tried not to think about the gorgeous woman sitting in my room waiting for me to finish. I thought about a quick release while in there, but even I was nervous that doing so would possibly cause me to become dizzy, and I certainly didn't need her to figure out what had caused me to pass out. Apparently, Luke had come while I was in the shower, so the kitchen was a little more stocked with meal stuff Jenn had planned for. When I came out of the shower, a few more items were sitting on her bag too, so I guessed she'd put those things in the bathroom for herself to use once I was situated downstairs on the couch. Dinner was awesome. The movies were fun and provided several opportunities to laugh, talk about memories that came from the time we had seen the movie or who we saw it with. My mom called to check in on me, and Cindy apparently texted Jenn to let her know that they had made it safely to their destination. Jenn tucked me in, and then she retired upstairs to go to bed. I think she checked in on me a few times, but she didn't disturb me. I woke up to smells of coffee and breakfast. This chick sure knew the way to my heart, intentional or not. I sat up and jumped when Jenn came walking in with a plate and fresh cup of coffee. "Good morning! Rise and shine," Jenn greeted me and set the items down on my coffee table. She left me alone for a minute and then brought her own plate and coffee mug in with her to join me. I generally preferred to eat at the kitchen table for all meals, but this just felt; natural. I really liked it. We checked in on work stuff, watched a little daytime television, walked around the block holding hands, ate lunch, took a little trip to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions and a few other things Jenn needed. I wasn't sure. I stayed in the car because she said she'd just run in to grab them along with my meds. When we got home, she took me by the hand and led me upstairs so we could take a nap. There weren't many words. We did that a lot lately. It was like we could just communicate without using all the words. We were falling into a nice routine which seemed to be working for us. I fell asleep facing her back this time.   Jenn When I woke up, I realized first that my back was pressed up to something, and something else was holding me there. I opened my eyes to find myself being spooned by Chris. I froze. Wait, why was this so incredibly comfortable? Was it simply because I hadn't been intimate with anyone in; ? Well, it had been a long time. He stirred behind me and squeezed me to his body. Good; ness, did it feel amazing, or what? I closed my eyes and let myself imagine what could happen if I allowed myself the idea of being with Chris. The way it felt to hold his hand was really nice. The way we were always laughing, talking, being open with one another; oh crap! Was my mom possibly right about him? Had I never even given the idea a thought because we'd been friends for so long? I slid my hand down the arm he had over my stomach and rested it on top of his. I sighed and tried to imagine what a life with him could look like. Oh, gosh. What was I doing? Was I just caught up in this special circumstance where we happened to both be off work, hanging out with no obligations? Well, it was only Day Two, right? Couldn't I just see where it went? Chris stirred behind me, so I waited to see what he'd do. Slowly, he pulled back from me and gently slid his hand out from under mine. He must have assumed I was still sleeping. I inhaled deeply and stirred as if his movement woke me. "Hmm, hey," I greeted him and turned to face him. He'd slid far enough away that it didn't feel too awkward. "How'd you sleep?" Nothing came across as awkward, so we went on with our day and continued to go on with the day as usual. Days Three and Four went very much the same, each event bringing us closer together. A routine had been setting in, and the two of us seemed to enjoy the familiarity of each other and the circumstances in which we'd found ourselves. On Day Five, I found myself feeling rather sleepy during the late morning walk, so Chris pleaded for me to allow him to make us some lunch this time. I nodded and rested back into my cozy living room chair as the TV lulled me to sleep.   Chris So, I was making lunch when I realized that Jenn was fast asleep on the chair. I knew I could just leave her there, but I was going to be good for a nap too, so I ate my sandwich after packing hers up in a baggie and walked into the living room to assess the best approach. I covered her with a blanket since she had her hands tucked into her armpits and slid my arms beneath her to carry her up to the bedroom. Once she was settled, I faced her and smiled at the beautiful woman lying beside me in my bed. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead before closing my eyes to fall asleep. What woke me actually surprised me. It wasn't the movement on the bed, but the little kiss I felt against my cheek. I started a bit, but the hand holding mine just squeezed it. "Hi there," Jenn greeted me and smiled as she inhaled deeply. "I must have fallen asleep. Did you carry me upstairs, or did I just stay too asleep to not realize it? Oh; and lunch?" "You were out before I had the bread on the counter," I teased. "I ate quickly and put yours in a bag for after our naps." I took my turn to inhale deeply. I'd had the best sleep during all these naps. I didn't want to imagine what else was going away when the week was over. "Well, shower time if you want," Jenn mentioned. "I'm going to go downstairs to eat and set out the stuff for dinner." She looked over as she slid her hand out of mine. "You good?" "Yep," I answered instinctively. "See you down there." "You betcha," she answered and pointed at me and winked as she smiled and headed toward the door. I was about to get up when she came back in suddenly. "Oh, Chris?" "Hmm?" "Thanks for doing that," she answered. "I have had some great naps. I feel like this week has been a vacation, and it's the best I've ever had. I just; I appreciate that, um; I just appreciate it." "Well, I won't be getting in any more accidents," I teased. "You had better not!" she agreed. "We got lucky with this one only messing with your head a little. I don't want to know how bad it could have been," she added. "I'm kinda getting used to having you around. Might need to step up our dinner dates to once a week instead of once every other month, right? Well, unless you're sick of me." "Nope, definitely not that," I answered quietly. "What?" she yelled as she descended the stairs. "I guess we'll see," I teased. Her laughter made me smile. Dinner was phenomenal as usual. Jenn had a real knack for cooking. I didn't do so badly at it, particularly with the foods I tended to gravitate to since I was almost always only cooking for me, but having her bring in these different dishes made me wish the week was going to last longer. And not just because it was someone else making the dishes. It was Jenn, and I wanted it all: the time, the food, the girl. Yes, especially the girl. Rather than heading to the living room after dinner, I offered to do the dishes. "Go take a bath in the tub. It has jets. Go relax. I promise, if I feel even the least bit lightheaded, I'll sit down at the table. But I'll be fine. Go relax before we watch tonight's movie. We only picked one, remember?" "Thanks, I think I'll do that," she answered. I was relieved. Jenn needed to enjoy the amenities of this "vacation" as she'd called it. I was thrilled that she was enjoying the time with me as much as I was loving this time with her. I hoped it would actually lead to more meals spent together. Who knew what the future held, right? That night, once she'd made sure I was set for the night, she headed upstairs. I was flipping through channels not even acknowledging what was on the television. I was about to turn off the TV when I heard her coming down the stairs. I went ahead and set the remote on the table and pretended to be asleep. I figured she'd come over to check on me, and (forgive me, but; ) maybe I'd be able to sneak a peek. She wore shorts and a tank top to bed, at least while she'd been sleeping over, and I wondered if I might get to see a little something when she bent over to check on me. Rather than coming over to the couch, though, Jenn walked into the kitchen. As I turned to see what she was doing, I found myself staring at her cute, little panty-covered ass. She was reaching up into the cabinet for something. I wasn't sure what it was that she needed so badly, but it was enough for her to keep trying. Now was my chance. I had no idea what I was going to do, but the time was there, and I was taking the chance. I walked up behind Jenn and pressed into her as I reached up into the cabinet to get the box on the top shelf. My mouth had gone dry from staring at her, and my heart was pounding. As I brought the box down, I recognized the label. What the hell did she need condoms for? "Jenn?" "Chris," she replied in a whisper. "What's up?" "I, um; I thought you'd be asleep," she justified. "I;" "; needed condoms in the middle of the night?" "Yes," she answered and exhaled a ragged breath. She was shaking. "Why?" I asked as I set the box on the counter. I leaned forward as I shut the cabinet door and smiled a little to myself as I could feel her ass pressed up against my crotch. "Jenn, what's going on?" "I was going to check on you," she answered and, only to surprise me more, rested her head against my chest. "I; I was going to see if you, um;" I leaned down to brush my lips along her neck. "To see if I; what, Jenn?" Her response was just as I'd hoped. She pressed her bottom into my groin and moaned as I licked her earlobe. "What do you want, Jenn?" I whispered into her ear. With a moan, Jenn looked up at me with pleading eyes. "What is it?" "Kiss me," she breathed and reached up to slide her hand behind my head and into my hair. I leaned down and put my lips to hers. Fireworks. Good God! It was nothing like I had imagined, and so much more amazing than I thought possible. Jenn's moans indicated that she felt the same. To be continued. Based on a post by cilma rae, for Literotica.

Salt Lake Dirt is wrapping up its coverage FilmQuest this week! FilmQuest is one of my favorite film festivals out there. Check it out!---2025 FilmQuestEpisode 353Film: The Waking CallGuest: Riccardo SurianoWatch the Trailer---On the Radio on 11/3/25KPCR 92.9FM Los GatosKMRT 101.9FM Santa CruzKVBE 91.9FM Portland, ORwww.kpcr.orgwww.saltlakedirt.com

GreenRanger recaps the top KC Cup decks, Forbidden/Limited List update, Marik Ishtar and Duel Quest!  #YGODuelLinks #YGOMasterDuel #duellinks #yugioh #podcast

Luke 23:33-43When they came to the place that is called The Skull, they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots to divide his clothing. And the people stood by watching, but the leaders scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, his chosen one!” The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” There was also an inscription over him, “This is the King of the Jews.”One of the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, “Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom.” He replied, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” In fifth grade, my house was toilet papered. Waking up that morning, it looked like there had been a blizzard—but only at my house. And the worst part is it took a solid two hours to clean up. We got word the perpetrators were coming back, so my brother made a plan. We hid in the bushes with the hose, firecrackers, and an air horn at the ready. As soon as the first roll hit the tree, we unleashed it all. It was some of the sweetest revenge I'd ever tasted. But here's the thing—I wanted more. Now I am not proud to admit this, but for the next two years, I was a serial toilet-paperer. I went TP-ing with my friends every chance I got. I don't think to this day my parents know this. Finally, one fateful night a police officer stopped our fun and we dropped our rolls of toilet paper for good. He could have called our parents, ordered community service. But he just made us clean up the mess, giving us mercy we didn't deserve.If I asked you what the most deadly addiction is, you might say smoking, alcohol, fentanyl, or maybe Facebook. But no, it's none of that. This addiction is far more common and not a substance or drug at all. The deadliest addiction is revenge. That's the argument put forth by James Kimmel Jr., a professor at Yale. He says nearly every form of violence childhood bullying, domestic violence, police brutality, war—begins with someone convinced they're a victim seeking justice.And for the first time in human history, we have some scientific insight into how we can stop this deadly addiction. Revenge is that feeling, sometimes subtle, sometimes intense, to return the pain someone first gave you. Through scans and research, Kimmel and his team have found that a brain on revenge looks a lot like a brain addicted to drugs.Grievances of any kind—real or imagined, disrespect, betrayal, shame— they all light up the brain's pain center. Our brains don't like that and so it quickly starts reaching for pleasure.We could reach for anything after we've been wronged—a tub of ice cream, an intense workout, a few drinks—and those might help for a moment. But the uncomfortable truth is that we humans get the most satisfying pleasure from hurting the very person who hurt us. It's not our best trait.Neuroscientists have shown that when someone wrongs us and we even imagine retaliation, the brain's reward centers wake up. The parts tied to craving and habit-building fire just like they do when addicts feel stressed or see something associated with getting a fix. Revenge isn't just an idea; it's an addictive action. Yet, unlike other addictions, revenge is addiction turned outward. Instead of harming ourselves to get a fix, we harm someone else. And like any addiction, the thrill is short-lived, the pain returns leaving one feeling even worse, and the craving only grows.Perhaps you know how this feels. As a kid, it's the punch you throw when the roughhousing gets too rough. In marriage, it's the sentence you say that you know will cut deeper than any knife. As an adult, it's the desire to slash the tires of the buffoon who cut off everyone in the school pickup line. We all know that impulse. It's part of being human.And it certainly isn't limited to individuals. Right now, it feels like our whole nation is running on it. Childish name-calling, dangerous threats, the endless churn of angry rhetoric: vengeance seems to be the most animating force in public life. It shows up across the political spectrum, where the goal is clearly not about solving problems but more about scoring points or making “the other side” hurt. I see it too in the Christian Nationalist movement, which grows out of a perceived assault on Christianity, by which they mean a very narrow version of Christianity defined as white, straight, and evangelical. The response is to attack back through laws and power in public life. We've built a society—a kind of kingdom—where hurt is expected to be met with greater hurt, and the loudest voices insist the only way to win is to strike back harder.Christ the King Sunday, which began 100 years ago today, was created to celebrate a king and kingdom that operates in the opposite way. If there was ever someone innocent who endured great harm—someone who could have, maybe even should have, returned the pain—was it not Jesus Christ, the King of the Jews? The one crucified between criminals while the very people who once followed him stood by and watched? Surely he had every right to act with vengeance, to call down the wrath of God, to save himself from that cross and rule like every other king tries to do. That's exactly what the crowd urged him to do. Three times people said to Jesus, “Save yourself.” It's what we humans know best.But that's not the kind of King Jesus is. His first words from the cross were not a declaration of innocence or a plea for pity, but a favor from his Father: “Forgive them.” It's fascinating that Jesus speaks to God in this moment. He doesn't say I forgive you to the ones nailing, flogging, and scoffing at him. That wouldn't have made any sense. They didn't think they were doing anything wrong. In their minds, they were doing exactly what they should be doing: executing a sentence of execution for a man charged with treason.And here's the part that always stops me: Jesus isn't only speaking about the people at the foot of the cross. His words reach beyond that moment. It's as if Jesus is saying, Father, please forgive them—because I already have. And the “them,” the object of that forgiveness, is me and you. Jesus came preaching and presenting a different way to be in the world, an alternate kingdom to reign over our lives—one of mercy, kindness, forgiveness—and we killed him for it. And every time we long for revenge, every time we save ourselves, every time we reject mercy, we put him back on that cross, crucifying the voice that tells us there's another way. Yet just like he did then, he says to us again, “Father, forgive them; they don't know what they are doing.” God, in Jesus, meets our violence with grace; our anger with forgiveness; our revenge with reconciliation. Always and only.The way of Jesus and his kingdom is what neuroscience now tells us is the best way to stop the dangerous, deadly pull of revenge: forgiveness. Research shows that even picturing yourself forgiving someone triggers something powerful: the brain's pain center settles, the craving for revenge loosens, and the part of your mind that helps you think clearly and choose wisely lights back up.Forgiveness is not saying what happened was okay or pretending the wound never happened. It means letting God begin loosening revenge's grip on your mind but more importantly on your heart. In other words, forgiveness acts like a kind of wonder drug. It eases the hurt, dead-ends the desire to strike back, and breaks the hold pain has on you. And best of all, it's free, always available, and you can take another dose whenever needed. Try it this week. Call to mind one person who has hurt you and, in prayer, quietly just begin to imagine forgiving them. You don't have to tell them. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just imagine it, and let Christ the King meet you there.You can do this. We can do this. We don't have to keep hurting each other. You don't have to live with the pain someone else has inflicted on you. We can drop our rolls of toilet paper or whatever your retaliation is, once and for all, and stop the harm being done, big or small. There is a way out of this addiction and we didn't need scientific research to prove it. Christ the King has been showing us how all along, giving us a mercy we don't deserve. Amen.

We worship together in-person and stream our service each week. If you would like to watch the entire worship service, it is available to view on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@WPCRICHMOND/streams.This morning, we welcome Pastor Jess Cook.Scripture: Genesis 2:4-25 and Matthew 19:1-12

On this TFIF edition of PBD:  Yeah, thanks, but no – the best albums of the year (so far)  Waking up in the dark – Donal Fallon joins the 5am club  And no apologies – when the Gardaí mistakenly break down your door

For a long time, there's been this mostly unspoken rule that “real” outdoor experiences have to be rugged. You've got to rough it, hike ten miles in the rain, sleep on the ground and eat beans from a can — or else it somehow doesn't count. Luckily, that's changing. More and more people are discovering that you don't have to give up comfort to connect with the outdoors. Here in Pennsylvania – especially in state parks - that change has been evident. Instead of only offering tent sites, state parks have cottages, cabins, yurts and other accommodations. Many offer amenities like stoves, refrigerators, microwaves, tables and chairs.No longer are you forced to pack up everything you own for a weekend in the woods. You can book a comfortable accommodation AND still be in nature. However, these upgraded accommodations still have rubbed people the wrong way. It isn't “real' camping. What does that even mean anyway? Real camping? Does it mean sleeping on the ground. Waking up with a sore back and condensation in the tent. Cold and miserable. No thanks. It's that sort of attitude that I despise in the outdoors. You're not a real hiker unless. You're not a real hunter unless. You're not really camping unless. It's such a pointless and divisive way of thinking. Thankfully, the Pennsylvania Department of Conservation and Natural Resources does not think that way. They are more considered with getting people outdoors and meeting them where they are in their outdoor recreation journey. As opposed to bending them to their will.That's why I was so excited when they announced in 2025 that they were partnering with Timberline Glamping Company to bring glamping to seven Pennsylvania state parks in 2026. The public would have the chance to reserve one of the 54 fully outfitted sites —no gear needed. Glamping will be available in Pymatuning, Hills Creek, Promised Land, Hickory Run, French Creek, Codorus and Laurel Hill State Parks. Timberline will provide the beds, heat, air conditioning, coffee maker, linens, pillows and comfortable accommodations. All you have to bring is an open mind and a sense of adventure. These wonderful glamping spots are creating space for everyone to experience the magic of nature in their own way. By making the outdoors accessible for everyone- from people who don't own camping gear to those physically unable to sleep in a tent - glamping is opening doors, breaking down barriers and reimagining what it means to “get outside.” Because nature belongs to all of us — whether you're sleeping under the stars or under a heated canopy.On this episode I speak with Nathan and Rebeka Self, founders of Timberline Glamping Company, and Kaitlyn Gundersen-Thorpe, manager of the French Creek State Park Complex. Be sure to support our 2025 sponsors:Keystone Trails AssociationPurple Lizard MapsPennsylvania Parks and Forests FoundationSisters' SunflowersSupport the showVisit our website to learn more about the podcast, to purchase merch and to find out about our incredible sponsors. Follow us on Instagram and Meta to stay connected. Hosting, production and editing: Christian AlexandersenMusic: Jon SauerGraphics: Matt Davis

"I Was Homeless for a Decade… and Still Survived" w/ Sean Speck | The Hopeaholics PodcastIn this intense and deeply personal episode of The Hopeaholics Podcast, Sean Speck opens up about a journey that few survive—years of addiction, homelessness, relapse, medical trauma, and ultimately, an unexpected path to redemption. Sean takes us through the harsh reality of smoking weed at 14, graduating high school addicted to meth, getting kicked out at 19, and spending nearly a decade homeless on the streets of Riverside. He talks openly about the first time he used a needle, the psychosis that consumed him, waking up in an industrial complex without his colostomy bag, and the terrifying moment doctors told him alcohol had destroyed his colon. Sean describes the collapse of his life as he relapsed again, eating 45–75 gas-station “heroin” pills a day, taking a “one-time” hit of heroin that pulled him right back into the cycle, and being forcibly taken to detox as his fiancée fought to save his life. But he also shares the moment everything shifted—calling from a park saying he was done, begging God to remove the obsession, reconnecting with his daughters, and learning to rebuild his life through honesty, humility, and real recovery. This episode is raw, vulnerable, heartbreaking, and absolutely inspiring. It's a reminder that even after years of darkness, there is still hope, still redemption, and still a way forward.#thehopeaholics  #redemption #recovery #AlcoholAddiction #AddictionRecovery #wedorecover #SobrietyJourney #MyStory #Hope #wedorecover #treatmentcenter #natalieevamarieJoin our patreon to get access to an EXTRA EPISODE every week of ‘Off the Record', exclusive content, a thriving recovery community, and opportunities to be featured on the podcast. https://patreon.com/TheHopeaholics Go to www.Wolfpak.com today and support our sponsors. Don't forget to use code: HOPEAHOLICSPODCAST for 10% off!Follow the Hopeaholics on our Socials:https://www.instagram.com/thehopeaholics https://linktr.ee/thehopeaholicsBuy Merch: https://thehopeaholics.myshopify.comVisit our Treatment Centers: https://www.hopebythesea.comIf you or a loved one needs help, please call or text 949-615-8588. We have the resources to treat mental health and addiction. Sponsored by the Infiniti Group LLC:https://www.infinitigroupllc.com Timestamps:00:03:21 – High school addiction spirals: meth, pills, and hiding it from everyone00:05:26 – Getting kicked out at 19 and starting life on the streets00:06:18 – First time he tried heroin while homeless in Lake Elsinore00:07:43 – Nearly a decade homeless in Riverside, stuck in the cycle00:10:15 – The first time he ever used a needle and how everything changed00:12:30 – Waking up in an industrial complex missing his colostomy bag00:13:13 – Breaking down in a park and calling for help, “I'm done”00:16:55 – Eating 45–75 gas-station “heroin” pills every day00:17:47 – A “one time” heroin hit that turned into full relapse00:19:08 – Fiancée orders friends to “kidnap” him into detox00:20:14 – The moment Sean begged God to remove the obsession00:21:27 – Doctors explain alcohol destroyed his colon00:24:42 – Waking up with a colostomy bag at 30 years old00:27:11 – Drinking again just one week after colon surgery

Send us a textEp 690: MFF Waking to His Alarm Cock, The Bed Scene, written by podcast host, and author, Ruan Willow, narrated by Ruan Willow and Motorboatin' Matt, an erotica excerpt from a hot short story.Waking to His Alarm Cock, A FFM Erotic Story. One night, Zane, his high school sweetheart Maria, and Lissa fall into bed together and fall asleep after hot threesome sex. That event launched them into a sexy triad and no one wants it to end. In fact, they wanted it to strengthen. The problem is, they'd need to hide their relationship from their daughter and the elementary school because Lissa is a kindergarten teacher there, and their daughter's teacher. They wake up when Zane's morning wood announces that it's time to have sex again. Who needs an alarm clock when he's got an alarm cock? Lissa starts it off and the three fall into a lust-filled, and very hotly satisfying morning. Enjoy this short fiction story of erotic fiction, erotic romance, and group fun! Sexuality at it's best, a threeway love fest!Read how this throuple met in the excerpt in the anthology, The Best Bi Erotica of the Year, Volume 2 https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thebestbieroticaoftheyearSupport the showExclusives https://www.buzzsprout.com/1599808/subscribeNewsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillowhttps://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliates Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow BeeDee dating app https://beedee.app/?r=ohfuckyeahThe Fantasy Box DATE30 for $30 OFF 1st box https://thefantasybox.sjv.io/c/6250602/2141126/26423

Waking Through The Fire by Bill Bennett

In 72 hours, my life changed forever.In August 2023, nurses rushed me to Portsmouth Regional Hospital, where they discovered my dangerously high blood sugar levels, the classic precursor for a diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes. I stayed for the weekend, and left the hospital as a completely different person.Since then, diabetes has made my life extremely complicated:Waking up sweaty in the middle of the night by dangerously low blood sugar levels. Carrying sugary snacks on me everywhere I go. Visiting the pharmacy every other day to pick up yet another (expensive) piece of diabetes supplies.Nearly dying on multiple occasions.That's the reality for a Type 1 diabetic, a reality that's intimately understood by actress Elle Shaheen (yes, that Shaheen). And this November, Diabetes Awareness Month, it's about time to shed a light on life with this disease.Diagnosed at eight years old, Elle - daughter of N.H. politician Stefany Shaheen and granddaughter of U.S. senator Jeanne Shaheen - has lived with this disease the majority of her life. Even after 18 years of managing this disease, diabetes still haunts her every day.Elle is the subject of the 2016 New York Times bestseller, "Elle & Coach," Stefany Shaheen's book about Elle's diagnosis, the effect of diabetes on their family, and the medical alert dog - Coach - that brought some much-needed relief to the Shaheen's chaotic lives.From the West End of Portsmouth, we discuss our near-death experiences with diabetes, her work as an advocate, meeting President Obama, growing up with a medical dog by her side at all times, and whether researchers will find a cure in our lifetimes.Plus, Elle's time in the Portsmouth theater scene, her Broadway dreams, and life in Hollywood during the entertainment industry's existential crisis.To support finding a cure for Type 1 Diabetes, you can donate here to Breakthrough T1D, the organization responsible for leading the fight against this disease.CHAPTERS:What is Type 1 diabetes? (00:00)Living with T1D as a child in Portsmouth (07:20)Meeting President Obama during her advocacy work (13:20)Misconceptions of T1D (21:16)The mental health struggles of T1D (26:28)How Elle's medical alert dog saved Elle's life (36:45)My recent near-death experience (50:25)Elle's Portsmouth theater background & Broadway dreams (57:20)How do you want to be remembered? (01:13:20)EVENTS:Seacoast Stories Dinner Club! It's happening in Portsmouth at 5:30 p.m. on Friday, December 5, just prior to the next live podcast. Take the personality quiz here to get matched up with five Seacoast strangers for dinner.⁠⁠⁠⁠Seacoast Stories LIVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ On Friday, December 5, the Seacoast's biggest podcast takes the 3S Artspace stage for an evening of community, connection, and conversation. Secure your tickets ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠.SPONSORS:⁠⁠Little Tree Education⁠⁠: Get 50% off your application fee with code SEACOASTSTORIES when ⁠applying your child⁠ for Spring/Fall 2026 at the Seacoast's top Montessori school!⁠⁠Seacoast 2 Summit⁠⁠: How much is your home worth for a short/mid-term rental property? Find out ⁠⁠here ⁠⁠for FREE! To get started on a path toward better financial investment, email our friend David Higgins ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠david.higgins@wellsfargoadvisors.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! He's a Portsmouth legend, and you won't regret it.Investment and insurance products are Not Insured by the FDIC or Any Federal Government Agency, Not a Deposit or Other Obligation of, or Guaranteed by, the Bank or Any Bank Affiliate, Subject to Investment Risks, Including Possible Loss of the Principal Amount Invested.Investment products and services are offered through Wells Fargo Clearing Services (WFCS), LLC, Member SIPC, a registered broker-dealer and non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. WFCS uses the trade name Wells Fargo Advisors. 1 North Jefferson, St. Louis, MO 63103.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."  That's a quote from one of my favourite people, and a friend of this podcast, Jim Rohn.  Listening to one of his lectures—for that is what they were—in 2017 changed my life, and I hope this episode will change yours. Let's get started.  Links: Email Me | Twitter | Facebook | Website | Linkedin Join the Time And Life Mastery Programme here. Use the coupon code: codisgreat to get 50% off. Get Your Copy Of Your Time, Your Way: Time Well Managed, Life Well Lived The Time Sector System 5th Year Anniversary The Working With… Weekly Newsletter Carl Pullein Learning Centre Carl's YouTube Channel Carl Pullein Coaching Programmes Subscribe to my Substack  The Working With… Podcast Previous episodes page Script | 393 Hello, and welcome to episode 393 of the Your Time, Your Way Podcast. A podcast to answer all your questions about productivity, time management, self-development, and goal planning. My name is Carl Pullein, and I am your host of this show.  Discipline is unsustainable. You probably have discovered that. Yet there are many people we look at and see someone living what many would describe as a disciplined life. So how do they do it?  Well, I can promise you it's not discipline. Discipline is like a rocket used when launching a spacecraft—it's required initially to get the spacecraft off the ground, but once in orbit, the rocket can be discarded. Then the balance between forward velocity and the Earth's gravitational pull maintains the spacecraft in orbit.  And that's how these outwardly “disciplined” people do it. They decide what it is they want to accomplish—healthy eating, regular exercise, journal writing, daily and weekly planning, etc. And then they “launch”.  A lot of effort and focus is required initially, but after a few weeks, their forward velocity—or the habit—takes over and it becomes something they just do.  And you can do the same. And this week's question is about how to go from an idea to turning that idea into something you will “just do”.  So, with that said, let me hand you over to the Mystery Podcast Voice for this week's question.  This week's question comes from Anna. Anna asks, Hi Carl, for the last three or four years, I have done your Annual Planning exercise. And each year, I fail to accomplish the things I set out to do. I feel I don't have the discipline to keep my commitments. There's always something else that gets in the way. How do you help people start to live a more disciplined life?  Hi Anna, thank you for your question.  As I alluded to a moment ago, it's not really about discipline. That's a fuel that will run out eventually. Sure, it can get you started, but if you don't develop the habit or routine over a few weeks, the consistency you want will slip away, and you're back at square one.  The problem with discipline—and, for that matter, motivation—is that they rely on the human condition. For discipline, you need willpower. Willpower diminishes throughout the day.  You start with strong willpower, and as the day goes on, that power slowly wears down. But it is also dependent on how much sleep you got, whether you are in a good or bad mood, whether you are stressed or anxious, and the people around you.  You may have heard the advice to ditch your “toxic friends”. They are the ones who keep pulling you down to their level. If someone were attempting to give up smoking, the advice given is to stay away from their smoking friends.  If you surround yourself with people who hate exercise and you decide, for example, you want to take up the “from couch to 5K” programme, you're not going to find a lot of support from the people you surround yourself with. They have become what is known as “toxic friends”.  Instead of thinking you need discipline to achieve the things you want to achieve, look at what you can do to make achieving your goals easier. Imagine you decided you wanted to read more books. Many people will set the goal to read a certain number of pages or chapters each day. This method requires immense discipline to maintain consistency.  You see, people often set these goals when they are rested, unstressed, and motivated. What you need to think about is what a realistic target would be if you were tired, unmotivated, and just wanted to curl up and scroll through your phone.  A better approach would be to set a time target. For example, one of my clients wanted to finish reading the pile of books in his home office this year. He had around thirty-five books he'd bought, and they were real books, not ebooks.  I suggested to him that he set a target of reading for 20 minutes every evening before going to bed. This, he felt, was realistic on days he was tired out.  Speaking to him last week, he said he had discovered that on most days he read for well over 45 minutes, and on some days he read for over an hour.  Over the course of 2025, he's only missed two days—and those days were when he was at home, but was away on a business trip.  He finished reading the books by the end of August. He's now buying books again and is confident he'll stay on top of them.  What happened here was that my client set a realistic goal based on the worst-case scenario rather than the best-case scenario. On most days, he exceeded his set minimum, which meant he finished his goal well before the deadline.  Another factor in his success here was the set time in the evening before going to bed. That gave him an anchor point.  This is why I recommend that people who wish to write a journal do it in the morning rather than in the evening. You have more control over the morning than you do the evening. And it's a great way to begin your day with a nice cup of tea or coffee, and a place to write down your thoughts and feelings before the day gets going.  You can add to your journal in the evening if you wish, but if you want to be consistent in writing, you will find that starting your day with your journal will help you write every day.  I remember back in July when we went to Ireland to see my parents. There were my wife and my parents-in-law, and we stayed at my wife's aunt's house the night before, since she lived close to the airport and our flight was early the next morning. Waking up at 4 am with everyone running around, making sure they had everything, didn't feel appropriate for me to write my journal at that point. So I skipped it. However, by the time we got to the airport, went through security, and settled in to wait for our flight, I felt this urge to write. So, I found a small coffee shop, got a coffee and sat down to write.  The sense of relief I felt after writing my journal left me relaxed and ready for the long travels ahead.  There was no need for discipline or motivation. It had become something I do every morning, and when I don't, something feels wrong.  And that's what you are trying to do. Turning whatever it is you want to do consistently into your way of life.  This is why brushing your teeth when you wake up and before you go to bed is automatic. You learn to do it when you are young, and after a lot of nagging from your parents, it soon becomes automatic. The thought of going out in the morning without brushing your teeth probably leaves you horrified.  But if you stop and think about it, brushing your teeth in the morning is inconvenient. There's a lot to do: get the kids ready for school, prepare their breakfast and get yourself ready. Three or four minutes in the bathroom, moving your arm from left to right… Argh! But you do it.  You don't need motivation or discipline. You just do it. It's a part of your life.  I was talking with a running friend of mine recently who wakes up at 6:00 am every morning, rain or shine, and goes out for his morning run at 6:30. I asked him if he ever considered staying in bed when the wind was howling outside and the rain was pouring down. He shuddered. The very thought of not going out for his morning run shocked him.  He doesn't need discipline or motivation to get up and go for a run. His problem would be if the doctor told him to stay in bed for a few days. Then he's really struggling because staying in bed is not his lifestyle.  All those people you look at and think, “Gosh, they are disciplined” —they never think they are. To them, whatever they do is just a part of their life.  I'm lucky because I have a dog. Dogs need exercise. They love walking. And Louis is no exception. It's one of the highlights of his day. This means I need to find an hour each day to go for a walk with him. Yet, I don't need any discipline to take him for his walk. It's just something I do each day.  Similarly, at 4:30 pm, I do my exercise. 4:30 pm triggers the start of my evening routine. I exercise for an hour, take a shower, then go downstairs and cook dinner. I do this six days a week, with Saturday being the exception.  It never occurs to me not to go upstairs and exercise. If I'm not feeling great, I'll do a lighter session; sometimes I may only do some stretching. But at 4:30, I know it's time to stop work and exercise. It's just what I do. It's a part of my everyday routine.  Now, one more thing, Anna. A mistake many people make is trying to do too many things at once. When you do this, you are diluting yourself too much.  Remember, to accomplish anything, you will need some discipline and focus to begin with. You're trying to do something that is not a part of your regular life, and it will feel uncomfortable at first.  I mentioned focus there because this is when you may need your calendar or task manager to nudge you for a few weeks—reminding you that you have something to do.  It's easier to focus on one thing at a time. A trick I started using—and found very effective—was to divide the year into quarters and start one new thing each quarter. This gave me three months to develop the necessary habits to turn whatever it was I wanted to change into a solid habit.  There's no rush to accomplish these things. As Bill Gates said, “most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can accomplish in twelve months” Focusing on one thing at a time means you need less focus and less time.  And finally, if you were trying to do a new activity every day, you're likely to miss some days. Take the reading habit, if your goal is to read for twenty minutes every day, allow yourself some wriggle room.  Rather than thinking you failed because you missed a day, look at achieving an 80%+ success rate. It's hard to start a new activity and be consistent with it at first. It's likely you will forget or just not do the activity one day. That's okay. It doesn't mean you failed.  What matters is that you acknowledge the skip and get back to it the next day. That way, you're not looking at it as a matter of success or failure; you see it as a work in progress, and a day or two missed is not final. It just means you need to refocus the next day.  I always think of those early weeks as experimental weeks. If I find that the time of day I try to do something doesn't work, I can try other times until I find the right one when I can be consistent.  I hope that has helped Anna. Do let me know how you get on, and thank you for your question, and to you too for listening. It just remains for me now to wish you all a very, very productive week.   

Pastor Josh Schwartz and Ken Mikle talk to Billy Crone who reveals troubling info about Trump's Stargate system. Is this the infancy of the Beast System? Why would a conservative President introduce something that is so potentially dangerous? We must speak the truth about such policies. Find the DVD set in our online store. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/407/29?v=20251111

Pastor Josh Schwartz and Ken Mikle talk to Billy Crone who reveals troubling info about Trump's Stargate system. Is this the infancy of the Beast System? Why would a conservative President introduce something that is so potentially dangerous? We must speak the truth about such policies. Find the DVD set in our online store. Extended version begins at 28:11. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.lightsource.com/donate/1472/29

Watch Pastor Josh Schwartz and Ken Mikle from Understanding the Times To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.lightsource.com/donate/1472/29

On this episode of LAP, the guys talk about the latest week of Ducks hockey. Leo Carlsson continues his dominance and sets some new records in Ducks history and the streak unfortunately comes to a disappointing end. The guys share their thoughts on how the team can get back on track after the horrific Detroit game and talk a little about the rumors of the Ducks looking to add. Follow Late Arrivals  Twitter: @latearrivalspod Instagram: @latearrivalspod Follow the hosts Chris: @CJKChel Jake: @_JRobles71 Louis: @Louiex37  Intro/ Outro done by Will Rice/ @pastorwillrice Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this solo episode, Darin reframes one of the most misunderstood forces in life — stress. Instead of seeing it as the enemy, he explores how stress is actually a messenger, guiding you back to alignment, safety, and awareness. Through science, spirituality, and lived experience, Darin breaks down how stress shows us where we're trying to control, where we're disconnected, and where our nervous system is calling for attention. He unpacks the layers of modern stress — from trauma and environment to community and purpose — and offers practical, embodied tools to restore calm, clarity, and resilience.     What You'll Learn 00:00:00 – Welcome to Super Life: Solutions for a Healthier Life and Better World 00:00:32 – Sponsor Spotlight: TheraSauna - Natural Healing Technologies (15% off with code Darrandai) 00:02:10 – The Super Life Podcast: Finding Contentment, Happiness, and Purpose 00:02:51 – Today's Topic: Stress - Reframing Stress as an Ally and Dashboard Light 00:04:54 – The "No Choice" Universe: Reconnecting to Infinite Possibilities 00:05:16 – The Reality of Stress: Statistics and the Impact of Chronic Stress 00:06:21 – Stress is Layered: Beyond a Single Cause, Addressing Chronic Stress 00:08:29 – Solutions for a Super Life: Safety over Calm and the Vagal Response 00:09:38 – The Inner Dialogue Layer: Trauma, Unconsciousness, and Spiritual Bypassing 00:11:47 – The Social Field Layer: Relationships, Community, and Finding Your Way Home 00:14:20 – Sponsor Spotlight: Bite Toothpaste - Sustainable, Non-Toxic Tabs (20% off with code Darin20) 00:16:35 – Creating Your Own Vision: Setting Boundaries with Media and Social Algorithms 00:17:29 – Finding Your Purpose: From Raising Children to Healing Injuries 00:18:35 – Environmental and Existential Stress Layers: Clutter, Noise, and Service 00:19:26 – Stress Load and Resiliency: Why Small Triggers Cause Blow-Ups 00:20:02 – Understanding the Dashboard Light: Acknowledging Unwillingness 00:20:35 – Safety as the Signal: Body Relaxation and Providing Inner Security 00:23:44 – Reframing Trauma: Was it the Protector You Needed at the Time? 00:25:00 – Releasing Trauma: Techniques, The Healing Code, and Waking the Tiger 00:26:06 – Finishing the Survival Response: Shaking, Crying, Screaming, and Stretching 00:26:38 – Stress as a Multiplier: Impact on Immune System, Heart, and Aging 00:28:10 – Stress Slows Repair: Inflammation, Cardiovascular Risk, and Cellular Aging 00:29:48 – The Integrative Approach: Changing Your Environments to Support Anti-Stress 00:30:07 – Actionable Stress Solutions: Circadian Rhythm, Nature, and Noise Reduction 00:30:44 – Actionable Stress Solutions: Gratitude, Conscious Breath, and Movement 00:31:32 – Energy Drains to Eliminate: Conflict, Clutter, Scrolling, and Late Caffeine 00:32:17 – Connecting to Greater Purpose: The Super Life Patreon Platform 00:32:54 – Morning/Night Questions: Letting Go, Creating, and Contributing 00:33:17 – Final Toolkit: Slow Breathing, Movement, Nature, Sauna, and Sleep 00:34:25 – The Invitation: Digging into all Layers of a Super Life on Patreon   Thank You to Our Sponsors Therasage: Go to www.therasage.com and use code DARIN at checkout for 15% off Bite Toothpaste: Go to trybite.com/DARIN20 or use code DARIN20 for 20% off your first order. Find More from Darin Olien: Instagram: @darinolien Podcast: SuperLife Podcast Website: superlife.com Book: Fatal Conveniences   Key Takeaway "Stress isn't your enemy — it's your compass. Every wave of tension points you back to what's asking for care, attention, and love. When you stop fighting stress and start listening to it, you don't just survive — you evolve."       Bibliography (selected, peer-reviewed) Sources: Gallup Global Emotions (2024); Gallup U.S. polling (2024); APA Stress in America (2023); Natarajan et al., Lancet Digital Health (2020); Orini et al., UK Biobank (2023); Martinez et al. (2022); Leiden University (2025). Cohen S, Tyrrell DA, Smith AP. Psychological stress and susceptibility to the common cold. N Engl J Med.1991;325(9):606–612. New England Journal of Medicine Cohen S, et al. Chronic stress, glucocorticoid receptor resistance, inflammation, and disease risk. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2012;109(16):5995–5999. PNAS Kiecolt-Glaser JK, et al. Slowing of wound healing by psychological stress. Lancet. 1995;346(8984):1194–1196. The Lancet Kiecolt-Glaser JK, et al. Hostile marital interactions, proinflammatory cytokine production, and wound healing.Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2005;62(12):1377–1384. JAMA Network Tawakol A, et al. Relation between resting amygdalar activity and cardiovascular events. Lancet.2017;389(10071):834–845. The Lancet Epel ES, et al. Accelerated telomere shortening in response to life stress. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA.2004;101(49):17312–17315. PNAS McEwen BS, Stellar E. Stress and the individual: mechanisms leading to disease. Arch Intern Med.1993;153(18):2093–2101. PubMed McEwen BS, Wingfield JC. Allostasis and allostatic load. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 1998;840:33–44. PubMed Felitti VJ, et al. Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many leading causes of death in adults (ACE Study). Am J Prev Med. 1998;14(4):245–258. AJP Mon Online Edmondson D, et al. PTSD and cardiovascular disease. Ann Behav Med. 2017;51(3):316–327. PMC Afari N, et al. Psychological trauma and functional somatic syndromes: a systematic review and meta-analysis.Psychosom Med. 2014;76(1):2–11. PMC Goyal M, et al. Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA Intern Med. 2014;174(3):357–368. PMC Qiu Q, et al. Forest therapy: effects on blood pressure and salivary cortisol—a meta-analysis. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2022;20(1):458. PMC Laukkanen T, et al. Sauna bathing and reduced fatal CVD and all-cause mortality. JAMA Intern Med.2015;175(4):542–548. JAMA Network Zureigat H, et al. Physical activity lowers CVD risk by reducing stress-related neural activity. J Am Coll Cardiol.2024;83(16):1532–1546. PMC Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB. Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS Med.2010;7(7):e1000316. PMC Chen Y-R, Hung K-W. EMDR for PTSD: meta-analysis of RCTs. PLoS One. 2014;9(8):e103676. PLOS Hoppen TH, et al. Network/pairwise meta-analysis of PTSD psychotherapies—TF-CBT highest efficacy overall.Psychol Med. 2023;53(14):6360–6374. PubMed van der Kolk BA, et al. Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for PTSD: RCT. J Clin Psychiatry. 2014;75(6):e559–e565. PubMed Kelly U, et al. Trauma-center trauma-sensitive yoga vs CPT in women veterans: RCT. JAMA Netw Open.2023;6(11):e2342214. JAMA Network Bentley TGK, et al. Breathing practices for stress and anxiety reduction: components that matter. Behav Sci (Basel). 2023;13(9):756. 

Life and political podcast.  Brought to you from The Divided States of America. Videos of the Week:  10 Videos this Week Show Opening: No show last week, Dan had a physical... You can get lost on the internet... "Rabbit Hole" Discussion of last weeks videos: Why aren't Trumps voters furious yet? (Hawk's Podcast) Trump learning the shutdown was a mistake. (Belle of the Ranch) Reagan roasts Trump... (scaredketchup) Time's up MAGA (danasinspired) Stand up routine clip... (christophertitustv) Waking up America's sleeping giant. (Robert Reich) Some Interesting Stuff: Newsom in the Spotlight at the Climate Conference That Trump Decided to Skip. Kamala Harris... Singapore institutes mandatory caning to punish online scammers. More Americans are falling behind on their auto loan payments.  

Waking up looked a little different this morning as we get our first snow. Lotta football loses over the weekend & a new betting scandal. Josh think Egg Rolls are the perfect human food, but what is happening on Thursday? Plus so much more on a big Mondeeeee show.

In this reflective episode, Colleen shares how a single morning meditation changed the trajectory of her entire day — and became a living practice for emotional sobriety. Waking early with her mind already spinning, she found herself caught in the familiar loop of pressure, striving, and self-imposed urgency. Instead of chasing a better plan, she chose presence. The phrase "I'm available to be here now" became a reset — a nervous-system gear shift that moved her from fight-and-fix into calm and clarity. From treadmill runs to team decisions, Colleen explores how availability opens the door to peace, creativity, and intuition. When we stop trying to escape discomfort and allow ourselves to be with it, we reclaim our power to respond differently — to build a business, a body, and a life that feels aligned instead of forced.  

Hello future humans with self-agency inspiring human potential!Become a paid subscriber to access practical exercises that use mindset, mindfulness & mindsight to grow confidence, handle change with good stress, raise your frequency & inner stillness & ground yourself in VVS: ⁠podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/maria-florio/subscribe⁠Inspiring Human Potential spotlights higher-self mindset lifestyle POVs, stories, ideas & practices.Maria Florio inspires human potential by sharing the keys to inner growth & following your heart. She brings together human, spiritual, & spirituality elements to explore human evolution, consciousness, & being yourself. She looks at how sciences & spirituality together reveal the way to access infinite higher human consciousness potential when pursuing self-help, personal development, spiritual growth, & mental & emotional mastery. She also talks about how mindset & lifestyle, mindfulness, secure attachment, integration of the brain, & restorative embodiment lead to higher intelligence & fulfillment. She uses perspectives & stories from her self-empowered, enlightening, mystic, spiritual, & mindful life. From the age of eight, Maria decided she was going to help people when she grew up. A vague statement that meant to her, & still means, to help people live a good life as themselves.5D mystic POV stories on mindfulness, educational podcasts & being yourselfA securely attached self-led mystic, spiritual & mindful person knows inconsistencies for what they are: fear, fear of intimacy, emotional vulnerability & being yourself in connection.Be you, mindful & flawed with integrity.Love is supporting each other to fly. Love lifts you up when you're down & it soars the skies with you when you're up. Love is always there."The kingdom of God is within you." - JesusLove, Maria5D Mystic Spiritual Self-Help Mindful Mentor Podcast Spiritual & Science Human VoiceBringing Together Human, Spiritual & Spirituality Elements to Explore Human Evolution & ConsciousnessEmail ⁠floriomaria80@gmail.com⁠ for 1-to-1 Mentorship or Masterclass & Spiritual Workshops & Retreats info."It is the ability to bring out the best in others that makes you a leader." - Sadhguru"Mindfulness can help integrate the mind, body, & relationships, which can lead to well-being." - Dan Siegel, MD"A non traumatized person with a secure attachment has the capacity to regulate independently of relationships." - Pat Ogden, PhDSecurely attached self-led people are strong, brave & bring change for the better because we embody intelligence, expand consciousness & self.Be Yourself In Connection In Life & Love - 5D Mystic Functional Adult POVs & StoriesSubscribe on Spotify, YouTube: @inspiringhumanpotential, another favorite podcast platform you use, or Fanbase.5D Mystic Enlightenment Functional Adult Relationships New Stories To Heal Trauma Together & Bring Forth Your Humanity"If you are a piece of creation, the Creator is definitely embedded within you. You just have to turn inward to know." - SadhguruYou'll know the piece of creation you are once you're living life as a securely attached restorative embodied self-aware, accountable & regulating person.Love, Maria5D Mystic Woo-Woo Pseudoscience Self-Help Mindful Mentor & Podcast HostMaria brings together sciences & spirituality to support human evolution & consciousness, to shed light on love & you being able to be you, the authentic you - an inner child adult who has secure attachment, integration of the brain, & restorative embodied self-aware life potential with your personal motivation to do self-help & personal development that get your self-awareness to put into practice accountability & regulation skills with the mental, emotional, & physical mastery at play as you apply & use the inner growth mindset & lifestyle approach.Inspiring Human Potential Inner Growth 5D Self-Empowered Enlightened Expanding Consciousness Voices, Stories & Perspectives

On this weeks episode of One For The Road I am joined by Alexi Kruiz, a UK emotional being born to two different cultures, family split between love being expressed in chaos or avoidance. Using alcohol as a coping mechanism to feel more confident, feeling like the odd one out with sensory sensitivity.As time went on, gravitation towards chaos kept reappearing as it felt so familiar, though there were stints of sobriety throughout teens and twenties. Events such as having her mother become terminally ill, losing her first love, and being attacked abroad kept the dysregulation in motion, and without the right tools, alcohol and escape felt like the easiest way to cope. The grief became part of the addiction cycle, and it took lockdown, living alone, and a big awakening to moving into a guardianship of 40 people to bring up all the unprocessed feelings and emotions through all sorts of triggers. Once opening their own low-sensory hair business, which led to being headhunted to be a lead stylist, Alexi moved into their own home. The sudden loss of her stepmother to a long relationship with alcohol caused the family home to be lost, and Alexi's flat was filled with everything from the past. Overwhelmed, drinking came back as a coping mechanism — it all got too much. Waking up on the floor of the bathroom, two black eyes and a blackout, she knew that could have been her last day earth-side. Enough was enough. The victim of all things leading to that point had to be fully accepted with love. A late diagnosis of ADHD, self-work, and support from work, family, and friends — community really is key.Love is and can be peaceful. The search for chaos or comfort doesn't need to be the constant switch anymore. Chaos is now just an amazing tool and can be something powerfully productive. Being the love she needed will always be a reminder that we are our own remedy.If you want to connect with me via Instagram, you can find me on the instahandle @Soberdave https://www.instagram.com/soberdave/or via my website https://davidwilsoncoaching.com/Provided below are links for services offering additional help and advice.www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/alcohol-support-serviceshttps://nacoa.org.uk/Show producer- Daniella Attanasio-MartinezInstagram - @TheDaniellaMartinezhttps://www.instagram.com/thedaniellamartinez/www.instagram.com/grownuphustle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Waking up in the morning…in a new apartment! Gia’s ready to be the ‘hostess with the mostest,’ so why does she say she’ll be back home in no time? Plus, bar hopping and furniture shopping, Gia discusses the expensive side of adulting!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Waking up in the morning…in a new apartment! Gia’s ready to be the ‘hostess with the mostest,’ so why does she say she’ll be back home in no time? Plus, bar hopping and furniture shopping, Gia discusses the expensive side of adulting!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SHOP OUR MERCH *LIVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT*:https://kampusklothes.chipply.com/thewhorrorspod/A medical examiner isn't quite the path Austin envisioned for himself, but when a case rolls in interesting enough to postpone date night, he learns it's not investigating the dead he's in for…it's waking it.  Investigate the centuries-old identity of the woman on the table in 2016's The Autopsy of Jane Doe.***CONTENT WARNING: discussion of sexual violenceFollow us on Instagram at @thewhorrorspodcastEmail us at thewhorrorspodcast@gmail.comArtwork by Gabrielle Fatula (gabrielle@gabriellefatula.com)Music: Epic Industrial Music Trailer by SeverMusicProdStandard Music License Halloween by Alex-Productions https://soundcloud.com/alexproductionsmusicCreative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0Free Download / Stream: https://www.audiolibrary.com.co/alex-productions/halloweenMusic promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/z3yEgDi0fEESources: Adams, Jane. “‘The Autopsy of Jane Doe' and Waking the Witch Within.” Rue-morgue.com; 2023. https://rue-morgue.com/the-autopsy-of-jane-doe-and-waking-the-witch-within/ The Autopsy of Jane Doe Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Autopsy_of_Jane_Doe The Autopsy of Jane Doe IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3289956/ “‘The Autopsy of Jane Doe': A Theory” Reddit, posted by u/Bitter_Truck492, 15 Oct. 2024. https://www.reddit.com/user/Bitter_Truck492/ 

In this episode of the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, host Diana Winkler interviews Pastor Mark Sowersby, who shares his powerful testimony of overcoming childhood abuse and finding forgiveness and healing through faith. Mark recounts his early life filled with abuse, meeting Jesus at 16, and wrestling with his identity as a victim. Through the love of his church community and personal determination, he not only found freedom but also pursued education and ministry. He also speaks about reconnecting with his birth father and how the loss of his mother catalyzed the launch of his ministry, 'Forgiving the Nightmare'. The episode serves as an inspiring account of transformation, resilience, and the power of unconditional God's love. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:25 Introducing Pastor Mark Sowersby 01:40 Technical Difficulties and Apologies 02:17 Pastor Mark's Testimony 05:49 Childhood and Abuse 07:10 Finding Faith and Forgiveness 18:06 Weight Loss Journey and Healing 23:08 Dyslexia and Education Struggles 24:42 Writing a Book and Ministry 28:14 Reading the Bible: Audio vs. Written 28:27 A Life-Changing Christmas Story 29:20 Overcoming Illiteracy with Help 30:14 A Love Story Blossoms 30:56 College Journey and Divine Guidance 32:49 Answering the Call to Ministry 33:13 Struggles with Self-Worth 35:15 Finding Confidence in God 35:56 Weight Loss and Self-Love 40:01 Victim to Victor: A Personal Transformation 45:00 Reuniting with Birth Father 48:20 Launching Forgiving the Nightmare Ministry 54:40 Final Thoughts and Prayer   website: www.forgivingthenightmare.com email: mark@forgivingthenightmare.com    Bio:  Reverend Mark Sowersby has been married to his wonderful wife Jennifer for 17 years and is the father of four children. Mark has been an ordained minister with Assembly of God for over 25 years and is currently the Pastor of Christian Assembly of Schuyler in beautiful upstate New York. Pastor Mark holds a BA in theology from Zion Bible College/Northpoint Bible College. In 2019 Pastor Mark went through a time of great healing. He began speaking about the experiences of his past and God's grace and the transformational work of forgiveness in his life. He now speaks about his story through his ministry, Forgiving The Nightmare. When he isn't serving his congregation and his community through ministry, teaching, and support, you can find him on all the trails and lakes in Upstate New York, spending time with his family.   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ Transcript: [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Welcome back. You made it well. I have a great guest for you today. I told you about him last week. Pastor Mark Sowersby and he has knocked this interview out of the park, and we had an amazing time. We did not have an amazing time with the Zoom platform. I could not hear him, but he could hear me, and it was a half an hour of back and forth trying to get it to work. So I wound up having to record this episode on our phones with the earbuds. So I don't normally do [00:02:00] that. I usually have my $300 studio microphone. So if it doesn't sound as good, I apologize. But this content is so great that I think you'll forgive me, but I'll try to do some, post-production, to make it sound better. So without further ado. Here is Pastor Mark. Yeah. Nice. Nice to meet you. Yes, nice to meet you also. And I saw your wife there too, so, and I think you saw my husband's beard anyway. Yes. And my wife is the strength and the brains of this operation around us. I'm blessed. I'm a blessed man there. Amen. Thank you. Yes. So we got the, um, the technical, uh, demons outta the way. Well, I appreciate that. We tried two computers and my Apple phone. And I have to tell you, I am a novice at computers at best, so Yeah, me too. So we're kindred spirits for sure. Amen. Amen. And I read your testimony about your [00:03:00] website and your faith and your podcast and everything. What a beautiful testimony you have. Oh, thank you so much. So you, you're in Arizona, is that correct? Yes. Wow. Wow. Well, I have to tell you of one of my bucket lists because I'm a northeast guy. I'm a New England, New York. We have snow. It's freezing. They're saying we could have a possible blizzard tomorrow. Uh, I love that. Go to the Grand Canyon. That's my, on my bucket list. My, my family. Hear me speak about that all the time. I've never seen it. But I long to, let me tell you, it's more breathtaking than you can imagine. The pictures don't do it justice. I've been there many, many times, of course. And yes, you should come as soon as you're allowed to travel. I would be over here. Yeah. There's so much more to see. We long to go. We really want to see it. You know, if somebody said, you really see the significance when you look at that great canyon and you see how [00:04:00] small you are, it humbles you and reminds you of what a great big God we serve. So, you know, we just, uh, amen. Thank you for hearing my story and my testimony, and it's an honor to be here with you and celebrate the victories that we have in Christ. Amen, brother. We're gonna get to know you a bit here for my listeners. So why don't you tell the, listeners a little bit about yourself. My name is Mark Sowerby. I'm a husband, a father, a friend. I'm a sports fan. I eat too much. I talk too much, but I'm a pastor and a servant of Jesus Christ. I was looking at all your pictures and stuff, and I saw your progression of your weight loss. That is so amazing. Thank you. Thank you. And my weight loss journey is really just a symptom. Or result of the greater healing that's taken place in my life. Uh, I'm very proud of it. It's something [00:05:00] I have to work hard for and be very disciplined in. So yes, there's a work towards it, but really it's the sub to the main plot. The main plot is what Jesus did in my heart to help me forgive and help me heal the abuses and the pains. And as that began to fill my life, this weight loss journey with the discipline and that burning good habits and exercising, and I'm up to running, uh, six miles a day on the treadmill. So, wow. Six miles. Yeah. So well, remember, we're not in Arizona heat, so it's not hot, well, I have a treadmill. That's usually what I exercise on. I have an exercise room, I don't run unless somebody's chasing me or the laxative has started working. Those are good reasons to run. so let's start at the beginning. So what was your childhood like? Well, unfortunately I have a story of brokenness, pain, and sorrow. I was born from an affair. Uh, so my [00:06:00] father never really had a relationship with him. I am assuming that as soon as he, uh, got the news, he, he left. So I was raised by my mom. I have two siblings that my mom had from a prior marriage. So the three of us kind of lived together at my grandmother's house, and that's what I knew. That was what life was. I was seven years old. A young man came into our family, and that young man eventually married my mom 20 years, her younger, and when he came into our home, he brought abuse and pain. He brought death and destruction. He brought lies and poison. And as any abuser, those abusers have touched many people. And as not only did he abuse my mom in a and. With just vulgarness and pain, but he also abused me and with sexual abuse and physical abuse and emotional abuse. And it was just a very difficult time in my life. So from seven to 14, that's kind of the world I knew. Not only did he abuse my body, not only did he steal from [00:07:00] me, my dignity, my value. Not only did he try to control me, but he also sold me for other men to abuse me. Mm-hmm. Other men to take my body. He stabbed me and beat me and burnt me. And at 16, I was invited to church, I ran into a youth group. And, uh, there's a whole story in that. But let me tell you, I ran into youth group and I ran into Jesus. Jesus was Amen loving. Amen. Jesus's loving arms. He wrapped him around me and started me on the journey, journey of forgiveness. And it's been a journey up. I just turned 50. We just lost my mom earlier this year. Wow. They say a flu. Some say COVID, but we lost her earlier this year and it was really kind of a season for me to walk through some even deeper, deeper healing. We have a lot in common. 'cause I just lost my brother this week. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your loss. Yeah. So we both have losses today. Yes. Yes. I'm so [00:08:00] sorry for your loss. You as well. Thank you. Your mother was a believer? She was at the end of her life. As we say, the 11th hour of Thief on the cross remember me. Mm-hmm. My mom did have one of those kind of conversions. Unfortunately, she never, the last few years of her life, she came to understand Jesus, but she never forgave herself or forgave. Her pain. She lived with the regrets and the shames and the guilt of her pains. She knew the love of Christ, and I believe that when she closed her eyes on this earth, she opened her eyes there because of what Christ did for her. But she carried this burden of shame and guilt and hurt. But I forgave her, not because I'm special, not because I'm better. I forgave her because Christ forgave me. And in that journey of learning with to forgive people say to me, how could you forgive such a great thing? I just forgave what was in front of me. That's it. Step by step, precept by precept. That's how I forgave. I [00:09:00] couldn't think about the whole journey all at it was too hard. What's in front of you? Well, we'll definitely get into, your process of forgiveness. Would it be okay to, circle back to your stepfather coming into your life? Now it sounded like it was a very violent to way he treated you. Did he do any grooming of you to start the abuse or was it violent right away? I believe there was grooming, again, being so young and, uh, being so, uh, naive. I probably didn't recognize it, but I'm sure there was grooming you know, there was this natural longing. From a child without a father to find a father figure. Mm-hmm. Um, being so young, not understanding the process of that, and any person that would gimme attention, I would run to them to try to find somebody who would govern me or lead me or [00:10:00] guide me or accept me. So I'm sure there was some manipulation in that, as I became more groomed or broken or became more pliable, if you would, because of my young immaturity. He began to have more of his way on it, just so you know. And I always refer to him as my mother's husband. Never as my stepfather? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, no, you didn't offend. No, I have forgiven him. I think in forgiveness, it's okay to have, uh, some boundaries. Sure. I think that, to have some healthy boundaries, I've forgiven him. I've put him in the hands of God, and I pray the grace of God will meet him and his pain and his sorrow, and only God can reach him. Uh, but again, there's some healthy boundaries around my life and my families. So what was your relationship with God when you were going through all this abuse? We grew up in a very religious home. I was a New England Protestant, so most of New England are [00:11:00] Irish Catholic, Italian Catholic, Polish Catholic, French Catholic. But I was the rare Protestant. And I remember saying to my grandfather one day, I asked him, I said I, well, let me back up and say, I always knew what I wasn't. I knew I wasn't a Catholic, but I didn't know what I was. So, grandpa used to tell us we weren't Catholic. He announced that pretty clearly. But one day I asked him, I said, then if we're not Catholic, what religion are we? And all he said was, go ask your mother. So, you know, we didn't really grow up in any kind of. Formal faith-based community, uh, you know, sometimes went to Christmas Eve service, you know, those kind of what we call Sea Easter and Christmas. The CE. The CE crowd. That's right. But it really wasn't, a church was not a part of my life. We knew God was there, be good and you go to heaven, be nice to people, you go to heaven. But there really wasn't a faith-based situation. I'll be honest with you, uh, the [00:12:00] only religion I got, or the only faith I got was the one album that was played in our home. It's not a Christian album, it was Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm a kid of the seventies. Yes, I'm very familiar with that. Yeah. And but God's name is so powerful now as a Bible college graduate, as a pastor, I could see all the holes of the theology in that and how it was really written, dragged down the gospel. They say Jesus Christ, and as a child, that name is so powerful. So, I mean, I didn't know anything. So here I was, I, I remember seven years old with a big headset on sitting in front of the speakers and listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. And, and now I realize what a mockery it was. But then just the name has power. Yeah, there was no resurrection in that movie. No, no, no. You know, when you have Mary Magdalene sing to, to him and say, you're just a man, [00:13:00] only a man. I mean, it's such a mockery. But again, at eight years old, 10 years old, I thank God that all truth belongs to God. Amen. And his name is so, amen, powerful. Amen. That every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. And as that name, Jesus was smoking, it pierced my darkness. Now, I didn't know about crying out. I didn't know about prayer, but God was preparing me for such a time. And at 16 the lifeguard at the apartment complex invited me to church. She was a pretty girl, and I didn't wanna say no. Uh, she invited she invited me and picked me up with her boyfriend. Oops. We went, yeah, we went to church that night and there began my journey into meeting Christ, knowing his mercy and grace into my faith walk and it's been a journey ever since. So is that when you, met the Lord for real [00:14:00] and got saved? Exactly, I was 16 years old. It was the early part of the summer and I went to that youth group and everybody told me that. To throw away my rock and roll music and to cut my hair and take my earring out. And everybody wanted to hug me and I didn't wanna be hugged by anybody. It's an evangelical Pentecostal church. And I was like, I don't, yeah. But come to find out, the youth pastor lived in the same apartment complex I did. I had a ride to church anytime it was open. So, later on that summer, mid-August, I remember a man inviting me, a young man from the youth group. It was raining. He was giving me a ride home. We got into his car and he asked me right there, uh, mark, do you wanna ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior? And we prayed right there the sinner's prayer. And I recognized the grace of God and the mercy of God and the Spirit of God. And at 16 years old, I asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord. And I thank him that he was calling me at such a time. So, and then I [00:15:00] had to grow up. Wow. And then I had to grow. I was still 16 with a messed up background and, still was spilling life all over myself. But that church loved me. They hugged me and kicked me in the can at the same time. Now were you out of your mom's house? Away from your abuser? Well. When the abuse first became, and I don't wanna say public, but when it became outside of the family when I meant the first person I confessed it to or, or shared it with, was my uncle. And I think that people have to remember my abuse happened from 19 7 7 to 1984. And the awareness and the advocacy that's out there today wasn't there then. And things like this happen behind closed doors. And I think culturally, not everybody, but culturally in most families said, we keep that stuff behind closed doors. We don't share it. We handle it as families. I told my uncle at [00:16:00] 14 years old. He was the first person I confessed to, and I ended up living with my uncle for about a year. He became my defender. So from about 14 to about 15 and a half, I lived with my uncle, and about 15 and a half I moved back with my mom. And yes, her husband was still there. But he, uh, he was very sickly at this time. So, he wasn't able to hurt me physically anymore. And I was strong enough to not allow anybody to hurt me anymore. So Now you said the word confess. Well, you didn't do anything wrong. Thank you. I, yeah, I just meant, I told. You shared your story, your abuse, uh, your victimization. So yeah. You don't have to apologize for anything. Amen. Thank you. That's right. It was probably a poor choice of words. I was just reading. I announced to my uncle, or I, I shared out, I took it out. I took it outta that simple family unit that I would tell my mom, [00:17:00] my mom having so much hurt and pain in her life, didn't know how to handle that. And just would say, well, he promises not to do it again. And he promised not to do it. And of course, so in a lot of ways I felt like my mom was a victim. And, and. Even though I've had to learn to forgive my mom because of what she allowed to happen, but in some ways, not that I justify it, but I've begun to understand it. Because she was abused by her first husband who broke her heart because, uh, just pain who had many affairs on her, and she was so broken down, so hurting and she did not understand love. I think she, um, interpreted love in a very, uh, trying to think of the word here you know, an enabling way. My mom was more of an enabler and I think she interpreted her love in enabling. So she enabled people. I mean, it sounds like [00:18:00] codependency. Was that the word you're looking for? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Thanks. So you struggled with your weight for years. Was that a symptom of your. Abuse your childhood? I, I think it was, you know, I'm, I'm not a psychologist or, a social worker. I'm a preacher, but you know, I think what I was trying to find in food was comfort, friendship. It always accepted me, uh, it comforted me when I was having a bad day and it rewarded me when I was having a good one. But like any drug, if you would, it lies to you. And it says, Hey, is everything will be okay. Just have a little bit more, have a little bit more, and, it just is. So for me, food became my drug of choice. Mm-hmm. Uh, it became where I found comfort, found peace, found acceptance. I punished myself with it. Boy, I'm no good. I'm going to eat ice cream. Oh, I'm having a great day. I'm gonna eat [00:19:00] ice cream. So, you know, it was one of those things. Uh, what I tell people is that I wish I could say to you that, that God has taken away all the hurt, all the pain, all the sorrow. It's still there in my life. It's still a familiar. Familiar pain that continues to call to me. But what God did is he became bigger. He became bigger than the pain. He became bigger than the shame. He became bigger than the hurt. So is it still there? Sure. And the flesh wants to run to it. And the psyche wants to run to it because I know it, it's comfortable. I, I know my role there. I, I understand what my protection and my manipulation that I can find there. But God became bigger. God became bigger. You know, I was telling a friend today, and I climbed a mountain after I lost about 50 pounds. I climbed a mountain. And it was about a half a mile long. And to me it was Everest. It was the biggest mountain in the world. And it took me hours [00:20:00] to go up and I had blisters on my feet and bruises on my toe. I was very proud that I climbed it. But after I lost about a hundred pounds, I climbed the biggest mountain in the state of New York called Mount Marcy. And what was the difference between those two mountains? One was bigger and I think that's the same thing. What happened to me is that even though that sometimes the enemy wants to try to bring me back to those familiar pains, those familiar insecurities, those familiar foes, God became bigger. His word, his spirit his love all became bigger. And I have to hold onto that and I have to claim, not claim it, but I have to run into it. You know, I have to run into that every day. So. Oh, you would love the mountains here. We have so many mountains to climb. So yeah. If you come to Phoenix, then we'll have to go hiking together. Yes. I wanna see that Grand Canyon. I wanna come to Phoenix. I am a New Englander, but it's cold [00:21:00] all the time here. But I hear that you guys leave for the summer and go back in the winter. We leave for the winter to warm places because it's so hot in Phoenix in the summer. Yeah. We're not snowbirds. We are here all year. Now we get to 110 every year. That's, that's normal. It gets to 120 here every summer. But this year it was 55 days of 110 degrees. Wow. Which, um, that killed all my plants and, uh, two of my trees, so Wow. Yeah, it's 70 degrees outside now, but in the summertime it's brutal. Wow. Don't come in the summer. Come in the winter. Okay. I, um, I did get to do a mission chip for Juarez, Mexico, which is obviously south of you guys and a little east, but at the same time, I got a touch of hot weather and I have done a lot of missions trips to Central America and the Caribbean, but they do have a different climate because of the sea and the water. So it's not that dry heat. [00:22:00] It's, definitely that, more moist, heat. Yeah, I think you'll do fine. Like I said, I looked forward to it. We were just in Israel in, November November, 2019, and it was 85 degrees. In Jerusalem and I roasted, I had such a hard time because the elevation was different and the humidity from the from the sea. Yeah. I don't know if you've been to Israel, I have not. Another, another bucket list, yeah yes, definitely recommend that for sure. Thank you. My wife and I, we love to travel. You know, we, we have four children, so right now our kids are in the ages of 15 to seven, so we are right in the midst of it. You know, we're, we're mom and dad, taxi and, and we homeschool. So my wife is going a hundred miles an hour all the time. Pastor wife. Homeschool mom and she's taking care of [00:23:00] me. So, I mean, this is, God bless her. If there's a hero in this story, it's my wife. Your wife's a homeschooler. Um, you had said in your story that you had dyslexia growing up. What was that like? Well, you know, I think that I still have it. Uh, God hasn't, hasn't healed me from it. So what happens is, is I tell people when the way I was raised, I survived my childhood. I wasn't raised, you know, I didn't have parents that, that looked out for me. I didn't have somebody who wanted to govern my experiences or, or was an advocate for me. So I, I really just kind of survived my childhood and one of the casualties of that. Was my education. Uh, it was the early seventies, so I think there was a lot going on with sight reading and some different kind of philosophies of teaching. So here I was in a broken home with a learning disability. I [00:24:00] was being bullied at school because the way I felt about myself and, you know, so yeah, reading has always been a chore for me. It still is a chore today. But again, the lord, he helps and he, he brings me through and he gave me a brilliant wife. Uh, she is a, a teacher by education. And my children love to read. My son will walk into walls. He reads books this thick. I mean, and I remember holding him the moment he was born, praying, Lord, give him just a heart for reading. And he does. I mean, my son 15 says, dad, can we go to the library? Love the library. Oh, he, yeah, we're friends with the librarian. Uh, if they need somebody to help him out, move books and they call him. But yes, reading has always been a chore and I, believe it or not, I'm in the midst of writing a book. Oh, I was just gonna ask that if you had a book out or not. We are just started to speak to a publisher, it's self-publishing company. Uh, so we're definitely in [00:25:00] conversations. We have written, just kind of let it pour out of me. It's been there for 50 years, so just kind of. And, uh, now we've kind of put it in front of people who really know what they're doing. I tell everybody, I wrote it my ways, I handed it to my wife and she interpreted it and made it legible. And, uh, we have some local friends who have done some basic editing, so they're kind of editing for us, and now we're sending it to the publisher who knows how to edit in a professional way. So, so, you know, the Lord told me years ago that this testimony would be written down. I remember I chuckled when he told me that because I said, Lord, I can barely read or write. And I remember saying to the Lord, Lord, if you want this written down, what am I gonna call it? He said, you'll call it Forgiving the Nightmare. So that's why the name of the ministry, the name of the book, the name of the website is called Forgiving the Nightmare. I think everybody uh, regardless of [00:26:00] how one came, you know, yours and I came in by probably hands of other people's, but sometimes nightmares come in by all different ways. Loss, regrets pains, hurts. And we all have to kind of say, Lord, how do we go through that? And I know as Christians, we want it instant, you know, we wanna stand on the word, we wanna claim it, we wanna save. Lord, give it to me. But I think sometimes we have to, uh, go through the process. I think of Jacob and how he wrestled with God, or he wrestled with the angel and they wrestled all night long. And, and God, the angel touched his hip and then he said, what do you want? And Jacob said, I want a new. And he became Israel, the promise. Mm-hmm. So he left deceiver, as you know, and he became Israel promise. And I think sometimes in that journey of forgiveness as much as Christians and people, we want it and we want it so true and so earnestly, [00:27:00] but sometimes we have to wrestle. We have to wrestle with the past. We have to wrestle with ourselves, we have to wrestle with the fears, and wrestling doesn't make us bad, doesn't make us sinners, doesn't mean God has left us. I think God's working with us, the process as a pastor, I've seen so many people who are unwilling to go through the process. And they get stuck. They get stuck in the cycle, in the the hurts and the pains of life. Just kind of build up on them. And I know God wants to set 'em free, but again, it, you have to learn to die to self crucify the old man, you know, tame the tongue. And it's hard. It's hard, especially when everything in the, especially when everything in the world tells you you're okay to have that. It's okay for you to hate. It's okay for you to be angry. It's okay for you to, when God says, for us to let him go first, let Him lead us. And God is, if we forgive those who trespass against us, he'll be faithful and just to forgive us. [00:28:00] And that scripture boy haunted me for a long time because I said, Lord, I'm not ready to begin. I'm sorry I'm preaching. No, you're awesome. I'm enjoying this. Um, I'm curious how you read your Bible. Do you use an audio bible or do you, um, do use an actual written Bible? Well, I do read Bible. I like the ESV, I like the NIV, I like those verses. I do read it. I do listen to audio at times. What happened was, is about 20, I was in my early twenties and a woman at church asked me to read the Christmas story out of Luke in front of the youth group. Now, when I say youth group, we had about a hundred youth in our youth group, maybe even 150. It was a large youth group and she was the kind of woman who would not take no for an answer. You know, the church lady? Yeah. I think every church has one of those. Yeah. And you know, I tried to give her every excuse in the [00:29:00] book, I lost my glasses. I was too embarrassed to say that I couldn't read. So I got up in front of the youth group and I read out of Luke chapter two and I. Stumbled over my words and I read slowly and I read broken up. And people were very kind to me that day. The youth pastor and the youth group, they were not cruel. And after service, that woman came back to me and said that she homeschooled her children and she would like to homeschool me if I'd want to. Now I was, I was a grownup. I was 23 and I went back to her house and there I sat with her 6-year-old, five-year old as she was teaching her 5-year-old, 6-year-old how to read. She was also teaching me phonics. I never learned phonics. I tell everybody, when I learned TION and Sean and not ion, it changed my life. Unbeknownst to me that church lady had an older daughter [00:30:00] and that older daughter watched me. Watch me struggle over my words, watch me go to the house and sit with her five-year-old sister and learn ae IOU and learn the rules of bowels and phonics. Well, years later, that older daughter would become my wife. Oh. Oh. So, yep. So, you know, she told me that she fell in love with me and she watched me there. And so that, that's a little bit of our love story. But yeah, she watched me from afar and, and now today we have four kids together and she still helps me read. So I do read. I a much stronger reader than I ever was. Uh mm-hmm. So I, I can read a much better than I could then. Well, I certainly can see looking back that you had so many people in your corner to that God sent to help you, and what a blessing. Now, did you go to college? I did. I [00:31:00] graduated from what's now called North Point Bible College. At the time, it was called Zion Bible College. It was in Barrington, Rhode Island. It was a very focused school for ministry only. Uh, so I did go there. I didn't wanna go there. I'm a New Englander. I knew about the school. It was in my backyard. I wanted to go to Southeastern to Florida. I wanted to go to pennsylvania and go to Valley Forge. Uh, those doors were not open to me. I remember saying, the Lord, I'm done. Lord, I've tried. Everybody's rejecting me because of my education. And he said, go to Zion. I went in and I met with the Dean of students. In that meeting, the dean of students said to me, mark, do you have a call? I said, yes, I believe I do have a call. He got up from his desk and he went to a big picture window, a woman who was walking in front of his picture window, and he tapped onto the window and he called this woman in. As she came [00:32:00] into his office, he introduced me to a woman named Jan Kruger. He let me know that Jan was led by God to go to school, to go to Zion the week earlier than me to start a learning center. And Jan and I became our first student in the learning center and we worked hard. The first year, most of my, classes were uncredited 'cause I had to learn how to be a student. I didn't know what a syllabi was. I didn't know how to take tests. Uh, we sat in that learning center. I cried, I complained. She was a mom. She hugged me sometimes and she told me to. To suck it up sometimes. And, uh, that was the best advice I could get. So yeah, i'm a proud graduate of Zion Bible College, and I'm ordained with the Assembly of God. So when did you get called into the ministry? Well, pretty much after, it was about my 17th year, 16 years old, I got saved and 17 years old, I was [00:33:00] at a Youth convention, and I pretty much felt like the Lord called me then. Now, I ran from that call for a long time because of my insecurities, my fears, my inabilities. See, when I walked into the room, I always felt like I was junk. Like I was dirt. Like I could offer nobody, nothing. And I was, no, you know, I, that's how I felt about myself. So who would let me be that pastor? What do I have to offer? I could barely read. Look what happened to me. So. For many years I wrestled with it and about 24, 25 years old, I had a brand new truck, little S 10 pickup truck. They called it Bernie because it was purple. I was listening to Petra, remember a Petra? I love Petra. And I was, I was listening to Petra from the seventies not the nineties. Petra and I remember I was listening to Petra and the Holy Spirit filled with the cab of that car and that truck I had to [00:34:00] pull over. I was on old post road. I'll never forget tears coming down my face. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, mark, choose this day whom you'll serve. I've called you and I will equip you. And I said, God, I want you. That's when the journey of. Colleges, and I wish I could tell you it was all roses and cherries after that. It wasn't, you know, there's still a lot of growing up and a lot of overcoming, and a lot of dying to self. And, and there still is. But yeah, that's how I got called and I went to that school and they loved me. They were honest to me. You sound like you had a lot , in coming with Moses with his speech impediment. He was, exiled to be a goat and a sheep herder. They're not gonna listen to me, Lord. You know? Did you feel like that? Oh, sure. I sure did. Like I said, I, for most of my life, I felt like what can I offer? So what I did is I put a facade on myself or I, I lived up to the role that I [00:35:00] thought people wanted from me, or a role to, to find acceptance or protection. So, if I had to be the clown, I was the clown. If I had to be the fool, I was the fool. If I had to be the weak, I was the weak because I felt those things about me. Recently in this weight loss journey and this giving, God has given me confidence. And I say that with much humility because I know it's not my confidence, it's confidence in him. But I've never had confidence before. I feel like a carpenter with a new tool. I feel like, you know, a businessman with a new suit that I've never had confidence before. Now again, it's not confidence in what I have. Because I'm still weak, but it's a confidence going, my Abba father makes a way for me. My Abba father heals me and, and goes before me. So it's, it's a kind of a new season for me to be confident and say, you know what? I can live a healthy life. People ask me why I lost the weight. [00:36:00] And I remember I was reading the scripture, and you're probably familiar with it, is when the Pharisee comes to the Lord or it says to him, Lord, how does one enter the kingdom of heaven? And the Lord says, well, what is written? He says, Lord, love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, and with all your spirit, and love your neighbor as yourself. I've read that a million times. I've preached on it. I've studied it. One day I was reading it, he said, Lord, I know you love me, mark, but you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love yourself, so you can't love your neighbor. And I realized because I didn't love myself, I wasn't taking care of myself. I love my children. I love my wife. I wanna take care of 'em. They don't need me. I wife can, but I want to. I wanna do things for, I wanna take care of 'em. I wanna help 'em be better and stronger and smarter and wiser, and love the Lord. And I realized I didn't love myself. So the weight loss journey, forgiving the nightmare, forgiving my mom, forgiving the abusers, forgiving those [00:37:00] who betrayed me as a child, helped me begin to love myself again. No visions of grander. I'm still a just a normal guy saved by grace. Uh, I still put my big foot in my mouth, my wife can come in and tell you all the stories, but, uh, but you know, I started to love myself and. It sounds like, you found your self worth in the Lord Jesus because Jesus sees you as his child. You are a child of God, and that's where your worth is. So it sounds like your healing journey brought you to that place. Yeah. It's not self-confidence like the world says it is. It's how God sees you. You're precious and you're loved. Amen. And you're valuable. He died for you. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. You're gonna get me going now. Hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah. I want others to [00:38:00] experience this. You know, I, my whole ministry, I've been surrounded by hurting people and hurting churches. I've worked with people that have had major traumas in their life. Not that I ever sought it. I can't. I think the Lord just led me to it. And as I've worked with people, people say that I've been able to bring comfort. I'm easy to talk to. I thought, well, okay, Lord. And I want people to find that freedom that I have. I understand being shackled to pain in the past. I understand allowing those things to form the way you think about and believe about yourself, and never truly being set free. Waking up with that numbing feeling of brokenness all the time. All the time, just constantly. But God truly set me free. He set me free. And because he set me free, I'm nobody special. And being a pastor, I see so many people that have a [00:39:00] form of this and they don't. They haven't gone through it. So they're still living with a confession in Christ, but still the hurts of the past. Blame them. I don't, I'm not putting fingers, I'm not taking the log out on my own eye before I take the twig from their eye. But I'm saying the freedom that God has for his people. Uh, and again, do we still stumble? Yeah. Do we still need refining? Sure. Are we still the clay? And he's still the potter of court, but there's a freedom that we find as a pastor. I've just met so many people who will say, pastor, I'm killed. I'm delivered. And you realize it's, it's only an inch deep. It's, you know, as soon as they get tested, as soon as they get, get bothered, it just spills out. It pulls out of them in, in a defense or in, in a rejection or in a way they, they have a self view of the world or of themselves. Now God's consent is free. God can set [00:40:00] us free. So, what's the difference between being a victim and being victorious? Hallelujah. Well, in my humble opinion, a victim is somebody who always sees themselves broken, sees themselves in a way that, that that allows them to stay in their victimhood. For a long time, my victimhood became my identity. I remember one day when the Lord brought me to the altar and he said those words to me. He said, mark, I want you to give this up. And I literally said, in an audible voice, Lord, if I'm not a victim, then what am I? Because all I knew was the, the role of being a victim. Oh, my victimhood was good. I could manipulate with it. I could win every argument with it. Oh, when I was 16 years old, my mom, who was a single mom with not much money she bought me a car. I had a phone in my room. I had cable on my own [00:41:00] tv. She made me breakfast in bed. Why she owed that to me. Why? Because I was a victim. And I got to see how I could win every argument at school. I could put my head down and I could lift up my head and go, well, who here else was molested? I was, and no one would say anything. And the Lord rebuked me at that and said, said, yeah, that's what victims do. At least that's what I did. He said, I wanna make you victorious. And I remember him saying, me saying to the Lord, if I'm not a victim, what am I? And he said, you're victorious in me. I had to learn what it meant to be victorious. Amen. I had to learn to let that facade go. Let that personality go, let that old man die and let the new man of Christ rise up inside him. That is awesome. I just love that. I've never heard anybody describe it like that. Now, I prefer the, word survivor instead of victim. But I think you took [00:42:00] it up another notch. We are, victorious in the Lord. Well, my victimhood, you know, as much as I was a victim, but I used it for my own gain. Mm-hmm. Which made me just as not guilty of what happened to me, but made me not a healthy place. It put me in a Right. But it's all I knew, you know, I could manipulate, I could win the argument. Right. I was the guy. Who else here was stabbed and burnt and abused? I could show you my scars where they stabbed me. I could show you the burn marks. I was prostituted for other men to abuse me. Boy, you know, I could really win the, the argument. But that was wrong. Yeah, it was wrong. It was wrong to put that on my mother, it's wrong to put that on my family. It was wrong to put that on others. And the Lord had to rebuke me and, uh, wow. And he did, because he loves, he rebukes the ones he loves, so he rebuked you. I just so appreciate your raw [00:43:00] and honest, telling of your story. Because, you've heard stories where they just put the fluff or they put the stuff that's gonna, bring up the ratings or whatever. But you really, kept it real. And I think you're a great pastor because people see that you're a real person. You're not some fake up there that can't relate to your congregation's problems, do you feel that way? Oh, definitely. You know, my congregation, as you know, like we talked earlier, I wrestle with dyslexia and every once in a while I'll stumble over a word while I'm reading the Bible and in front of my congregation. And, and that really bothered me for a long time. My Lord, I'm a pastor. How can I not read this and now. When I stumble over a word, my congregation yells it up to me. So I'll be on the platform. And you know what? They'll see me stumbling and you know, they'll yell it up to me and it's just a term of endearment. [00:44:00] It's not been one of rejection or shame, and I say, you know what? I'm doing that just to make sure you're in the Bible. That's what I tell 'em. But I'll be reading the scripture and, and my dyslexia kick in, or, or the word will be all scrambled. And, and they're the kind voices. Oh, pastor, that's, that means this. And, and it's kind of a nice direction. I tell people the church I pastor is a real church with real people serving a real God. Wow. So, wow. Fancy fluff. Church don't come to us because, you know, we're real and we cry together, we do life together. We step on each other's toes. We don't always agree, but we always love God. That is so awesome. Pastor of Christian is Alia Scott. That's right. I didn't announce your church name. I wanted to ask you to tell another story about. You said that you met your birth father at one point. What happened during that reunion Union? [00:45:00] Well, I was 45 years old and I wanted to reach, I wanted to know, I tell people my birth father and I met at the right place in life. I think if I would've met him younger, I would've still been angry. Rejected Kyle, but I was 45. I was the father of four. I've made my own mistakes, my own problems. I learned to mature a little bit. To be really frank, my father's wife passed on, so he was more ready to meet me. So his wife that he had the affair on to si me, if you would, she passed. So he was more open to meet me and uh, I just didn't meet him, but the whole family met him together. We met in a restaurant, we met in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and the family came in and the kids instantly. Started to call him grandpa. I thought, I don't know if I'm okay with that. And he never rejected it. So the last few years of [00:46:00] life, we just lost him. I, I had him for about four years. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, daddy and son, but it was something, we had a relationship. We'd talk about sports, we'd talk about life. He was a snowbird from Massachusetts to Florida and he just kind of let me know. So I'm very thankful for the four years I had. Again, it wasn't, Hey buddy, I'm proud of you kind of moment, but I got to find out a little bit about. Who my dad was and who some of my relatives are on my father's side. I got to learn about some of the health conditions of, of my father. And you know, he said he was pretty, he made it to 84. He liked to drink and he liked ladies, I like Jesus, I like one lady, Wow. That's an incredible story. I tell people it was the right time. Again, if I would've met him at 25, I would've been angry. I would've said, you know, why did you abandon me? 45 was a good time because. You know what, by that [00:47:00] time I, I stepped in enough life of my own to, to not, to be slow to judge, oh, God does have the perfect timing. I haven't spoken much about my story at all on here, but my husband and I talk about, boy, I wish that we had met, long time ago, you know, and skipped all the pain because we were both victims of abuse from our previous spouses. I'm sorry. And, um, but we thought about it and we thought we were different people. If we met at that time, I don't think I would've been interested in you and you wouldn't have been interested in me. And, I think that God brought us together this time of our life. No, we've been married 11 years. Congratulations. Thank you. So, God brought us together at our time of life because that was the perfect time and Sure. We're best friends. We never even have had a real fight. We didn't disagree, of course, but now you should write a book [00:48:00] about that. Okay. I mean, we disagree and, um, get on each other's nerves, but the Lord has just, you're normal. Just blessed us. Yeah, we're definitely normal. Um, especially during pandemic. It's like you learn about your spouse when you're stuck with them 24 7. Right? That's true. That's true. Yeah, we had to make some adjustments. Amen. And, um, we still love each other, and that it's great when you're talking about times of life, you know, for such a time as this, and I think for me, the Lord spoke to me years ago about forgiving the nightmare ministry. He actually spoke to me when I was in college about this. I didn't know it was gonna, uh, blossom or what it was gonna look like, but he spoke to me years ago about writing it down and it was always inside me. And I kept, my wife knew about it. We would always think, how's the, what's the Lord gonna do with this? Is it distant inside me to guide me through life? Is it more for others? Is it, Lord, how's it, how's it [00:49:00] gonna? Blossom if you would manifest. And we lost my mom and I have to tell you that, not immediately, but pretty quick. After losing my mom, I felt like this ministry could just launch. And it has launched. God has brought, brought a web designer into our life. He's brought some, um, producers into our life to help me tell the story. We're talking with a, an editor and a publisher. All this has happened fairly quickly. And I think, Lord, why now? And I think, to be honest with you, and this is just my opinion, I, I don't know if I have chapter and verse to back this up, but my mom was so embarrassed. She was so full of shame because of my upbringing every time for the last 20 years of my life, every time me and my mom were alone together, she would just apologize. And I don't just mean say, sorry. She would grovel and I would say, mom, I forgive you. I forgive you, [00:50:00] Marky. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And if my mom knew that I was speaking to podcasts or writing a book, she would've been so, so embarrassed. So she may, it would've just troubled her so much. So I think outta the grace of God, and again, don't have chapter and verse, but I think upon her passing released me to be able to share this story, to be able to bring others into it, to just think God was being merciful to my mom on her journey. And again, it was almost pretty instant after her, uh, her own passing that I remember being on the treadmill one morning and the Lord just kind of. Just impressing upon me by giving the nightmare. Remember those words? I spoke to you. This is where it's gonna take place. And since then, we've made a couple videos, uh, we've launched a website. I'm talking to wonderful people like yourself and just trying to get the [00:51:00] story out of forgiving the Nightmare and trying to say to people whatever that nightmare was. Was it physical and sexual abuse like mine? Was it a tragedy in your life? Is it regrets? Is it fears? Is it the loss of a child or a loved one? Whatever that pain is that your nightmare. I want you to know that God can help you forgive it and overcome it and break the shackles so we don't have to be the man or the person. The hurt tried to make us. We no longer have to be Jacob. We can become Israel. Your mom would be so proud of you. And I think that, thank you. If, the Lord's probably told her, you know, the good things that have come out of a terrible situation, she said she had, you said she had some shame. Oh. I think if she was looking down at you now that, that shame would be gone. [00:52:00] That shame is no longer there. Look how God's using my son, my, my wonderful son to spread the gospel and to help people. And so Well, thank you. I'm so thankful for you, brother. Thank you for saying those words, sister. It's very kind of you. I used to say to my mom, even up to her last days, I would say, mom, who's your favorite? And she would say, I love you all, all the same. And I'd say, mom, stop lying to my siblings. I'm the youngest of three. My older brother and my older sister never made me feel like a step or a half brother. Uh, we just kind of always lived in the same house. We got real family problems and just life, but they've never left, never met me, felt, never let me feel like I was less than even to today. So I'm very thankful. My oldest sister, who is, a second mom to me, my oldest sister, she is my second mom and I'm thankful for her. So. Wow. Well, we [00:53:00] just had just a great time tonight. When your book comes out, please contact me. I would love to have you on the show again, to promote your book because obviously you, your story is so powerful and we wanna get it out to as many people as we can. So, tell the folks how to connect with you. Well, the best way to connect with me is@forgivingthenightmare.com. Forgiving the nightmare.com. Forgiving the nightmare.com is the best way to connect with me. If you go there, you'll find a email, it's called mark@forgivingthenightmare.com. That comes directly to me, right on my phone. So that's the best way to connect with me. Also you can go to our Facebook page called, forgiving the Nightmare. For giving Nightmare Facebook page. I try to put up pictures and little devotions there and stories there. So that's the two. Best way through Facebook, after Giving the Nightmare, after giving the Nightmare do [00:54:00] com, those are the best ways to connect with me. And I hope to get so Arizona someday. You have an open invitation. Wow. I'll be a tour guide for you. I know that Arizona like the back of my hand. Wow. Wow. Now my children could hear you in the background, so they're gonna be pretty excited about that invitation. There's so much stuff for, for their Edge group as well. So, we will hook you guys up. So thanks for being patient with the tech stuff and I'm glad we pushed through and didn't let the devil get the victory tonight. We found a way to get you on here. That's right. May I pray for you as we close. Oh yes, please. Thank you. Father God, we just come to you tonight and we thank you again for your son, Jesus Christ. Lord, we thank you for the sacrifice that he gave to us upon the cross, Lord. And we pay the price we could not pray, Lord. And we thank you for the gift of life [00:55:00] and life more abundant. Lord, we thank you for the promises. It says in this life there will be many troubles, but fear not because you are with us always. And Lord, tonight I pray for my sister. Father, I thank you that you're using her Lord. To spread the gospel to share, hope to be a light and a dark place. But Father, now, I pray that you come beside her father as she's shared that she's lost her brother this week, Lord. And I pray you comfort her. Lord, you said you had to go so the comforter could come. I pray, the comfort of the Holy Spirit will come beside my sister and be with her and her family as they grieve their loved one, their family member, their friend, Lord. So Lord I pray peace upon my sister. I pray Lord that you use her, continue to bless her. I thank you for the testimony of her and her husband, 11 years that you've brought together for such a time as this. I pray, Lord God, that they grow closer to you so they can grow closer to each other. And Lord, we thank you tonight [00:56:00] that Lord, we're no longer Jacob. You've made us Israel Father, no longer do we have to be shaped by our past, but now we can hold on to the promises. Lord, no longer does, we have to be shackled by somebody else's abuse, and we can be set free by your word. So, Lord, I pray that you fill us. You lead us, and may we be the light and may we be the salt, and may we lift up your name. We pray for a unity across our nation. We pray for a healing across our land, and we pray, Lord, for a revival of your salvation to come to our our country again, in Jesus name, amen. Thank you so much, brother. God bless, sister. Thank you. Take care yourself. Bye now. Bye. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at [00:57:00] DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

Greetings! Today's is another in this series of “lost” Tools Chats recorded with my friend and colleague Andrew Moss . It's about an important tool on my journey that I still find extremely helpful even today, I Am Not My Thoughts. We hope that this will be a super helpful episode for you on your journey.Enjoy!* Would you like to be part of our final Tools Chat coming up in November 2025? Email me here and we'll get you in the room!* Consider subscribing to this newsletter so that it shows up in your inbox, instead of you having to go search for it :)About this Series…It's really a podcast within a podcast!In these “Waking Up: The Tools” conversations Andrew and I discuss the essential tools we developed that helped me grow into the person who hiked all by myself across northern England in 2023… After needing a wheelchair to go more than a few steps in 2011.We've called this series Waking up: The Tools because they're featured in my award-winning memoir, Waking Up. We're featuring these tools here on ACWB in this latter part of 2025, collecting them all together for your listening pleasure.See you soon! Thank you for being along on the journey.With Love,KayKay Lock Kolp M.Ed. - Coaching | Art | Writing | Shows: https://kaylockkolp.comThe quote I live by: “Till this moment I never knew myself.” - Jane AustenArt Creativity & Wellbeing is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Former Buddhist monk and Mindfulness Exercises founder Sean Fargo lays out a clear, compassionate roadmap for teaching mindfulness and meditation — with confidence, credibility, and heart. Drawing from his journey (from cloistered practice to prisons, clinics, classrooms, and companies), Sean distills what actually works so you can help others be more present, resilient, and self‑compassionate—without overcomplicating the practice. In this episode, you'll learn: Why compassion is the foundation of every effective mindfulness teaching A simple way to meet fear, judgment, and imposter feelings—and keep going How to introduce mindfulness experientially (story → teach → tool) Three techniques to make it practical and relevant: prepare, listen, ask The templates & credentials that open doors (e.g., MBI‑TAC, Search Inside Yourself) How to find your voice for guiding meditations (and a non‑fussy recording setup) Essentials of trauma‑sensitive mindfulness and the window of tolerance The #1 long‑term success factor: community and consistent teaching practice Mentioned resources: A Clinician's Guide to Teaching Mindfulness; Learn to Teach Meditation and Mindfulness; MBI‑TAC; David Treleaven's Trauma‑Sensitive Mindfulness; Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger; Search Inside Yourself; Insight Timer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Waking up at 1AM? 3AM? 4:30AM? Your body is screaming for help—and this episode decodes the message. We break down the real causes behind your restless nights, from histamine spikes and cortisol crashes to liver detox overload and adrenal dysfunction. You'll also learn Chinese Medicine sleep wisdom, and exactly what to do (tonight!) to get deep, restorative sleep again. Listen now and finally understand why sleep isn't working—and how to fix it. https://fitmom.co/apply" rel="nofollow">Work With Us - Revive & Thrive

A 2012 documentary, The Queen of Versailles, introduced the world to David and Jackie Siegel, the powerhouse couple behind Westgate Resorts. The film showcased their booming business, lavish lifestyle, and bustling household of eight children. But behind the glamour, life took a devastating turn. The Siegels' world came crashing down after the loss of their 18-year-old daughter, Victoria — a tragedy that reshaped not only their family but also their life's work. While they knew about some of Victoria's struggles, her diary revealed painful truths they never fully understood.In this episode of Grieving Out Loud, you'll hear Victoria's story, what her family wishes they had known, and how they're now using their grief to raise awareness and prevent other families from experiencing the same heartbreak.Purchase the diary - Victoria's Voice, Her Words from Beyond the GraveVisit the Victoria's Voice websiteEmily's Hope websiteLearn more about Angel ArmySend us a textBehind every number is a story of a life cut short, a family shattered, and a community devastated.They were...daughterssonsmothersfathersfriendswiveshusbandscousinsboyfriendsgirlfriends.They were More Than Just A Number. Support the showConnect with Angela Follow Grieving Out Loud Follow Emily's Hope Read Angela's Blog Subscribe to Grieving Out Loud/Emily's Hope Updates Suggest a Guest For more episodes and information, just go to our website, emilyshope.charityWishing you faith, hope and courage!Podcast producers:Casey Wonnenberg King & Kayli Fitz

Can't sleep through the night anymore? Waking up sweaty, restless, or wide awake at 3 AM? You're not crazy - your hormones are shifting. In this episode of Boss Bitch Radio, we're taking you inside a real coaching call from the Healthy and Hot Method membership, where we dive deep into why midlife women struggle with sleep and how to fix it without adding more overwhelm. You'll learn what happens to your hormones like progesterone and estrogen as you hit midlife, how poor sleep affects your recovery, muscle tone, and belly fat, and what you can do to finally get deep, restorative sleep. We also cover how to set yourself up for better recovery, more energy, and fewer night sweats. Grab your journal, take some notes, and start sleeping like the confident, energetic woman you want to be! Join the newsletter for more behind-the-scenes tips, cheat sheets, and practical tools → https://www.bossbitchradio.com/newsletter #MidlifeSleep #SleepForWomen #HormoneHealth Key takeaways: 00:26 A little sneak peek inside the Healthy and Hot Method membership 00:55 Why sleep matters so much in midlife 01:24 How your hormones mess with your sleep 01:57 Real-life tips to start sleeping better 06:20 How to track your sleep and what it tells you 07:00 Healthy sleep habits that actually work 08:05 What alcohol does to your sleep 09:40 How your dinner timing affects your rest 10:34 The truth about screens before bed 11:24 Simple ways to make your bedroom more sleep-friendly 14:42 How your workouts impact your sleep 16:10 The caffeine cut-off you should actually follow 17:31 Using breath work and meditation to calm your mind 19:23 Supplements that might help you sleep deeper 20:38 Wrapping it up - how to start improving your sleep tonight Links Mentioned: Join us in the Healthy and Hot Method! Get $25 off your first month with code PODHOT - https://www.bossbitchradio.com/healthy-and-hot-method Join the Iconic Coaching Academy! Limited 1:1 spots available - https://www.bossbitchradio.com/iconic-coaching I'm loving this Cathy Heller's program is packed with gems. Check it out here! https://cathyheller.samcart.com/referral/thisabundantlifebycathyheller/kLZu9Gj7RIEtBF2Q Hey! Have you heard of ClassPass? They're giving an exclusive free trial (with 20 bonus credits!) only available to friends of mine. https://classpass.com/refer/U37R31GQ30 Connect with Diane: Website: https://www.bossbitchradio.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dianeflores_ifbb_pro YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dianeflores_ifbb_pro Join the Boss Bitch Besties Fitness Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dianefloresifbbpro Freebies: Lower Body Blueprint: https://www.bossbitchradio.com/lower-body-blueprint Protein Snack List: https://www.bossbitchradio.com/protein-snack-guide Full Body Training Program: https://www.bossbitchradio.com/full-body-gym-program Fit Girl Gift Guide: https://www.bossbitchradio.com/fit-girl-gift-guide My Favorite Supplements: https://www.bossbitchradio.com/myfavoritesupplements

Sharing an episode featuring Dan from a podcast we love, Think Fast, Talk Smart. Whether presenting to millions on live television or talking to just one person, Dan Harris knows that the quality of every interaction depends on the presence you bring to it. Harris is a former national news anchor for ABC News and is now the host of the 10% Happier podcast and author of 10% Happier and Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. As he knows from experience, there's power in “Waking up to something fundamental, that the mind is out of control, and you don't want to be owned by it.” How do we break the pattern of being controlled by our thoughts? Mindfulness and self-awareness, he says, put “distance” between us and our “thoughts and urges and emotions,” enabling us to connect with ourselves and others with greater consciousness and clarity. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Harris and host Matt Abrahams discuss how mindfulness can transform our communication, sharing strategies for deeper listening, responding versus reacting, and reflecting what others say back to them. “Relationships are the most important aspect of your happiness,” Harris says. “The quality of those connections goes up when you're less stuck in your own head.” Episode References: Dan Harris: https://www.fastersmarter.io/guests/dan-harris/ Dan's Books: http://fastersmarter.io/10-percent-happier https://fastersmarter.io/meditation-for-fidgety-skeptics https://www.fastersmarter.io/179-communication-happiness-wellbeing-finding-positive-in-negative-emotions/ https://www.fastersmarter.io/180-unlocking-your-future-self-communication-happiness-wellbeing/ https://www.fastersmarter.io/181-why-happiness-is-a-direction-not-a-destination-communication-happiness-wellbeing/ https://www.fastersmarter.io/182-stop-chasing-time-and-start-owning-it-communication-happiness-wellbeing/   Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here! Tickets are now available for an intimate live event with Dan on November 23rd as part of the Troutbeck Luminary Series. Join the conversation, participate in a guided meditation, and ask your questions during the Q&A. Click here to buy your ticket! Join Dan's online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris