Soap in your eye

Well - I didn't want to do it but they made me - the b*st*rds. Treve still thinks the song is quite good (we didn't have the heart to tell him the truth) so he's pushing to get it out on the blog. I suspect The Void have an album coming our or are doing support for the Led Zeppelin come-back tour or something. Who knows? And Damon - well that guy's such a f**king control-freak that it was just driving him mental that there was an episode missing. He keeps counting on his fingers and looking for a sharp knife every time he gets to ten - the psycho. As for Davidge he's just been round my house every other night with a squash-racquet, a bottle of bourbon and a homicidal attitude, spray-painting rude messages and frightening the children. That guy is INTENSE - I can tell you. If you've met him you'll know what I'm talkin' about.I mean - never mind that no-one - well no-one in their right minds - would listen to this nonsense even ONCE. Let alone continue to do so after nine - count 'em : NINE! - effing episodes. These lunatics I work with - and I don't use that word lightly (lunatics, I mean, not Work which I'm actually kinda comfortable with even if my boss might disagree). Anway, these lunatics - Treve, Damon and Davidge (and what kind of names are those anyway?) - they STILL want to get our stuff out there to thosr crazies still listening after all that other garbage we've posted. Well - I'm always one to bow to peer-pressure - you just need to look at my collection of smurfs, my bar-tab or my criminal record to understand that - so, without further ado, here it is Episode 10 of TE V: Just in Time to Die - If I were a Hero!And if you're still too stupid to GO AWAY! then I guess I should tell you that we are - stupidly, I don't doubt - still working on TE XXX: Love and Really Big Guns (the blockbuster sequel to this pile of tadd-pole turds). So, come back real soon - like maybe some time in 2015 at our current rate of progress - and maybe you can get some more of this shite, you gluttons for punishment.Later - people.(Much, much later - Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!)

Well then, die-hards, we're nearly all done. Here comes Episode 9 and Episode 10 is the Last One.The nice people at FeedBurner have shown that Episodes 7 and 8 were the least popular of all time which I for one am quite excited about. If anyone was put-off by the fact that Episode 8 got released ahead of Episode 7 (briefly) then I sincerely apologize. However, I'm always one to look for silver-linings and what I've come up with is the following:Clearly the whole thing's not as incoherent as we though - for a while I thought that if we jumbled it up and just played them in any old order no-one would be any the wiser. If that's not the case then - YAY! (Go us!).Perhaps we've demonstrated that we have actually made the whole story in advance and we're not just winging it producing episode-by-episode week-by-week.We've demonstrated that the belief that 8 is a lucky number is just so much superstition (I've really just added this one because two bullet-points seems a bit weak).Anyway - without further going-on-and-on-about-last-week's-scre-up-in-the-inane-belief-it-might-stir-up-a-smidgeon-of-sympathy - we now offer you ...TE V : Just in Time to Die! Episode 9 - Cookie is the Greatest!(in which - you'll be distressed to hear - I sing. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

This isn't the first T.E the bubble recording we've done. Nor, sadly, is it the last. However it is the first of the last one we recorded. And it is the first to appear on the INTERNET!To clarify: We've been recording these "radio plays" since 1983 - originally on a tape deck, then 4 track and finally, at some point in the 21st century, digital; You know, with zeros and ones.And because we're too lazy and embarassed to convert the earlier recordings into digital, we're just going to start with this one - our last attempt at humour, and first digital recording of T.E THE BUBBLE.Think of it as a taster. At the moment we're creating the most awesome T.E story ever, but before we subject you too that, we want to give you some context, a beginning... an origin story... and hence before we introduce you to our ALL NEW T.E THE BUBBLE DIGITAL THXX RECORDINGS, we wish to take you back in time, to a simpler more innocent era... the post 911 Bush years... a time of T.E THE BUBBLE IN... JUST IN TIME TO DIE!Part one... Here!

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE (Yes, I know...):So - it looks like iTunes only likes to have one Podcast-per-Blog Entry so I've added another Blog Entry to hold Episode 8. I'll leave it here, too, just in case any poor soul actually reads this stuff.(I think I'll go off some place and sob for a bit. Don't mind me)REALLY, REALLY, SUPER-IMPORTANT, CRITICAL UPDATE:(like so important it merits this butt-ugly yellow-and-red-and-bold-and-funny-font-I-stole-from-some-dude-who-actually-knows-how-to-do-this-stuff Important):OK - Now I feel like a complete tosser. I've only gone and released episode 8 ahead of episode 7. So, as a new added bonus - please find here Episodes seven AND eight. Don't say I don't ever make a total balls-up of something and then a horrifically half-assed attempt to sort it out afterwards, for you. That's all I can say.TE the Bubble V - Just in Time to DIE! : Episode 7 - Frankly's PadTE the Bubble V - Just in Time to DIE! : Eipisode 8 - Many Hands Make Short Work(What a klutz, eh?)(I hope this works with Feedburner and iTunes and all that complicated stuff)(I blame the mf-ing fish, quite frankly)Well - it's Monday again and that's the day of the week when I get particularly enthused about my work and really knuckling under and getting stuff doneTM. Yup i it's good ol' productive, useful Monday. I'm really going to be good, hard-working and conscientious . I'm going to get my timesheets in early and produce some top-quality work and earn my bonus. Heck, I might even make something and supply it to some customers - they'll be so surprised they'll drop their "Going-out-of-business-coz-our-vendor-is-a-lazy-self-serving-*($)#$@!" signs.. . .. . . .. . . . .I wonder if they'd like it if I made it in blue. I should probably look into that on the internet.. . .. . . .. . . . .I wonder if anyone's posted amusing video of their cat on YouTube?. . .. . . .. . . . .I can't believe it's 11:23 already. It's been two weeks since I posted Ep6 - A Lab Trevolt and apparently it's been downloaded 277 times. So - it must be time for me to offer the next beautiful offering from TE the Bubble V : Just in Time To Die *Click here ... no here! ... ha-ha ... how about here?Oh very well - that's a bit lame - even I have to admit it.Click here (well over there--> really) so you can pretend to enjoy TE the Bubble V - Just in time to DIE! : Episode 7 - Many Hands Make Short Work(What the hey? It could be better than working ** ... why not take a chance on your employer's dime?)NOW WITH NEW, ADDED FISH!!! (Just like Monty Python only not funny)* For the curious there are 10 episodes altogether so fret-ye-not, masochists, the end is in sight :) And after that there will be months before TE XXX : Love and Really Big Guns is ready. So yes, respite is near.** Unless you're like, I don't know, an Astronaut or a lego-brick designer or a paleontologist of some cool thing like that. Anyone like that out there? If so, how can I get a start?

Don't say a thing.Don't say one single thing.Just take a deep-breath, count to a million and then curse my name while flatulating vigorously and profusely in whatever direction you'd like to believe I'm in.Then, when you've got it all out of your system - careful! Don't poop by mistake! - just relax, sit-back and enjoy - TE the Bubble V - Just in time to DIE! : Episode 8 - Many Hands Make Short Work(And if all of that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to you then you've not been following the debacle of this week's posting. If you like tales of other's incompetence then go back and read the previous Blog entry. You'll be laughing 'at' not 'with' I can assure you).

Well we could all die (Yes! Both of us) waiting for Dread to post episode 2.So, as always, I - Cookie the Crumb - must step up to the plate and make good on other's commitments to the common good. If you listen and it doesn't make any sense then obviously you're a bit slow and need help or coaching or a swift kick to the head - I don't know. Anyway, perhaps something a little simpler might be more your line - maybe watching paint dry.Alternatively, if you're not slow and just got fed up and bored waiting for Dreaddy then you could consider listening (or even re-listening) to Episode 1 - Arse end of the Universe. Heck, why not do it anyway ... maybe two or three times - just in case you miss something that will be important later. Perhaps you should play it to your children ... or your cat (or iguana if that's more your line). Anyway, the more the better I think is the general lesson here.Episode 2 still won't make sense after all that but our hit-count goes up :)Anyway, without further ado - Part Two of Te the Bubble: Just in Time to Die ... Here!(This one's got Boo-boo the Floppy in it and that's usually good for a laugh)

Just when you thought it was safe to open your ears and go online ... we now bring you! ...TE the Bubble V - Just in Time to Die!: Episode 6 - A Lab Trevolt(Just because we hate everyone and think you all need a taste of our suffering)

I think you should all know that I wrote a really, really funny blog entry and Google ate it up and now it's gone. I'll bet they couldn't believe how elbow-achingly funny it was and so pilfered it for their next ad campaign - Bastards Dunkheads!Anyway, the key point is I'm now introducing you to - LIVE ON THE INTERNET!!! * the next exciting episode of TE the Bubble V: Just in Time to Die!. Yes, this is it - Episode 5: Ultra-cow-mega-bruiser. This episode contains:The one - the only - Tilly!!! Mc!!! Fluff!!!!!!Gentle mocking of Microsoft Office and Microsoft Windows (coz that's new).A cool sound-effect we made with a balloon (I think it was a balloon).A plausible, coherent and sensible explanation for the whole damn thing **Nude pictures of Treve ***Winning lottery numbers ****A Re-animated Dinosaur *****Anyway, without further pre-amble I offer to you now TE the Bubble V - Just in Time to Die!: Episode 5 - Ultra-Cow-Mega-Bruiser(And we declare right now that we take no responsiblility for any subsequent problems such as inability to sleep, emotional distress (anything from vague irritation to volcanic rage) or loss of will to live).* Not actually live - some or all of this podcast is pre-recorded.** It doesn't, of course, I leave the very concoction of any viable hypothetical possible explanation as an exercise for the devoted reader.*** Removed for hygiene reasons.**** It doesn't contain winning Lotter Numbers, of course, but I am getting so into those snowflake/star/asterisk thingies!***** Sorry - no dinosaur (See above) but a dinosaur mention should help our Hit-count/Google-rating. Dinosaurs are very "in" right now.

[Warning! Spoiler alert for TE XXX : Love and Really Big Guns! Coming soon(ish) to a podcast near you]It's Monday Morning. I'm at wo-ork. (So bored)Posting Podcasts again. Why do I bother? (Because you're stupid, Ro-og).[End of Spoiler - Hope I didn't spoil it for you :) ]Yes - here it is Episode 4 (of TE the Bubble V: Just in Time to Die - Episode 4 : Clog, stupid-o!).Enjoy!(Or don't. Why should I care?)PS - That was a complete lie about TE XXX coming soon. You must realise that we're talking 2012 (if we live that long).

Well - the fans have spoken.Yes, your ongoing silence and continued refusal to make any criticism whatsoever speaks volumes for the reverence and awe you all have for TE the Bubble V: Just in time to DIE! Here are just a few of the star-struck comments that we haven't received in response to Episode 2: Boo-boo the Floppy."I almost wet myself laughing" - Max (2 of Grey Lynn)"I didn't think they could make a worse episode than episode 1. I was wrong."- Kerr (80+ of Northcote)"We'll review anything if the money's good. But these cheapskates stiffed us on the free Pizza - no Anchovies! - so we'd say Episode 2 of Just in Time to DIE! is the worst episode 2 since "Joanie loves Cookie: The Catatonic Hebephrenic Years". Suck on that, Earthlings!"- Bing and Anus (1.5243 X 102 Intergalactic Ubervision)So, in the face of such devoted outpourings it is time to release you from your torment and permit you to download and listen to the latest installment from our previousSo, here it is folks - in all its ignominy - Episode 3: Warren and Jeremy

Check out the latest at Mars Shot. Some beautiful 3D animation in the pipeline for Last Flight....Mars Sunrise Test from Zane Egginton on Vimeo.