Absolutely Not

We talk about toxic traits we didn't realize until now and having hoe friends. Play a little Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (spoiler alert: we are not) And reveal our best kept secret!!! Just you wait.... Find us on tiktok + instagram! @absolutelynot_podcast

AITA, our turn ons (ok + turn offs lets be fr) + ramblings including but not limited to our favorite school lunches, the first time we went fishing, + working out with no shoes on. Find us on tiktok + instagram! @absolutelynot_podcast

porn in relationships, the public school system + applying pressure (even when you're ugly) sammy finally reveals the addiction she's been hiding from us all along Find us on tiktok + instagram! @absolutelynot_podcast

how we deal with our mental health + the reality of being around people you aren't compatible with. Plus our usual goofy ass shenanigans! Find us on tiktok + instagram! @absolutelynot_podcast

can you love yourself too much? should we be the cheetah girls or the grinch cast for halloween? (yes, we know its 10 months away, we just have anxiety) also, you know those couples that cheat on each other + everyone knows? like what are your thoughts on that? we play too many games, but that's why you're back! Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

literally the most holy episode we've ever done. also, spoiler alert, we tell the entire plot of Old but if you wanted to watch it you should have already. Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

our themes for the new year + playing way too many rounds of fuck marry kill catch up with us ;) Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

we'rrrrre back with an ode to our favorite people (+ a whole lot of other shit of course) Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

the world famous question "why do men" explored. because truly...... why....... Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

Quite literally, the same shit we talk about all the time. if you're new here, welcome to the whore club. Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

Truly, we're vigilantes. Get updated on our dating lives and hear some of our hard learned lessons in love. As usual. Find us on tiktok! @absolutelynot_podcast Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

all bad bitches know there's room for every bitch to be the baddest at once. the girls that get it get it. the girls that don't get talked about on here. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

the facts about our kid's dads! tune in for our updated rosters, our parenting deals, & the men that just keep trying...... with all of us....... even after we tell them no............... Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

finallllllly the Mexico trip recap! listen to Maleia find her twin flame & the girls literally lose everything else. also - did we NOT come off as lovergirls?! wrong. its a lovergirl fall, baby, start acting right so we can wear these matching pjs by Christmas.

On our lifelong journey to find out why men are the way they are. Enjoy the antics and absolute dog energy these men bring us. it can't just be us, right? right??? Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

an update on our lives slash us just talking because we didn't plan anything. welcum back to the chaos, whores, we missed you Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

The Seattle trip nobody asked for + szn one finale! Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

Honestly these aren't even the worst dates we've been on........ Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

Forever playin. At least we get like a tiny serious for those Phat Pussy's! (just a little tho, don't tell people this is a serious podcast) Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

Exploring our options a little..... Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

Some link ups are seriously not worth it. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

The most chaotic episode ever. Remind us to never drink again, thanks. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

The episode where Cip is spread eagle under overhead lighting. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

The episode we realized our moms listen to everything we say. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

The episode where Maleia is annoyed the whole time. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143

The episode where we tell this story for the last time. Follow us on instagram!! instagram.com/absolutelynot_podcast Ciprianna: instagram.com/ciprianna_ Maleia: instagram.com/maleiamama Samantha: instagram.com/sammyboo143