Beyond the Borderline

Part 1 of my interview with Dr. Parvinder Shergil, a Psychiatrist working within the NHS who is also a film maker and podcaster working tirelessly to combat stigma towards mental illness and create new narratives about mental health struggles, and recovery. Her podcast, The Mental Health Book Club, has won an award from The Royal College of Psychiatrists and is available here: https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/our-shows/the-mental-health-book-club-podcast/ Please note: The sound quality is not great in this episode... but it should be audible.

I’m delighted to announce that Beyond the Borderline has a new sponsor: COPE NOTES! Founded by peer advocate, suicide survivor, speaker and musician Johnny Crowder, COPE NOTES is a research based mental health support tool that brings you daily texts including peer support plus tips, tools and exercises created by mental health professionals, all for under $10 per month. And it’s available internationally. COPE NOTES is anonymous, and you can cancel at any time. To try COPE NOTES use this link: https://copenotes.com/subscribe/?affiliate=Beyond

In this episode I interview stand up comedian, 4 time TedX speaker and suicide prevention advocate Frank King about his history of depression and suicidal ideation, and how he uses humour as a weapon in his suicide prevention advocacy work. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode includes frank discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation. If you are currently suicidal or at risk of self harm in the UK you can call: The Samaritans for free on 116 123, Papyrus (Under 35 year olds) on 0800 068 41 41. Childline (Under 18 year olds) on 0800 1111. If you have seriously harmed yourself please call 999 in the UK. In the US: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. To find out more about Frank King: http://www.TheMentalHealthComedian.com http://www.YourTEDxCoach.com http://www.facebook.com/thementalhealthcomedian http://www.instagram.com/mentalhealthcomedian http://www.twitter.com/theMHcomedian https://www.youtube.com/thementalhealthcomedian https://www.linkedin.com/in/frankkingthemhcomedian TedX Talks on You Tube: Born to Be Funny https://youtu.be/mugOzr6ItFk Mental With Benefits https://youtu.be/mCnsHSdAn48 A Matter of Laugh or Death https://youtu.be/IeMg6OFYfU0 Suicide, The Secret of My Success https://youtu.be/3D4m33DXtsI

Warning! This episode is me rambling a lot. That said I do my best to take on a topic suggested by listeners - Jealousy and BPD. As always I share tips, tools, strategies and real life examples of my own ( as a person with BPD who gets jealous) ... of feeling jealousy and figuring out how deal with it. Books referred to in the episode: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Skills-Training-Handouts-Worksheets-Second/dp/1572307811/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=marsha+linehan&qid=1598219401&sprefix=marsha+&sr=8-2 and https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=high+conflict+couple&sprefix=high+conf&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_9

This month I bring you an interview with multifaceted mental health advocate Johnny Crowder. Johnny Crowder is a 27-year-old suicide/abuse survivor, touring musician, mental health advocate, and the Founder & CEO of Cope Notes, a text-based mental health resource. Whether speaking at events or on the road with his band, Prison, Johnny's firsthand experience with multiple mental health diagnoses (ranging from bipolar disorder and OCD to schizophrenia) uniquely equips him to provide creative insight into the pains of hardship with levity and wit. Website: copenotes.com Podcast: copenotes.com/podcast (or wherever you find podcasts) FB: facebook.com/johnnyxcrowder & facebook.com/copenotes IG: instagram.com/johnnycrowderlovesyou & instagram.com/copenotes Twitter: twitter.com/copenotes LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/johnnycrowder & linkedin.com/company/copenotes Headshots (pick your favorite): copenotes.com/headshots TEDx Talk: copenotes.com/tedx Brochure: copenotes.com/brochure Explainer Video: copenotes.com/video

Gabby is the blogger and author behind Normal is Too Mainstream, a blog devoted to sharing her journey and favourite ways of coping with BPD, anxiety and depression. In this episode I interviewed Gabby about how advocacy and creativity via blogging help her deal with BPD. We also touch on DBT skills, how to help a loved one with BPD, useful books on BPD and more! You don’t want to miss this episode. Resources mentioned: http//www.normalistoomainstream.wordpress.com https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B003TXT5MY/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LW8UZVX/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 https://survivingcptsd.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/dbt_skills_training_handouts_and_worksheets_-_linehan_marsha_srg_.pdf https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Loving-Someone-with-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Audiobook/B017Y8MP8K?source_code=M2M30DFT1BkSH11221601A7&&ipRedirectOverride=true

In this episode of Beyond the Borderline I walk you through how to make your very own Coping Tool Box. Making a Coping Tool Box is a fun, creative way to put together a set of personalised tools you can access at any time of day or night to manage difficult thoughts, emotions and situations. Articles about making a Coping Toolbox: https://lighthouseemotionalwellness.com/Creating-a-Coping-Skills-Toolbox https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.goodtherapy.org/blog/12-skills-strategies-to-add-to-your-anxiety-toolbox-0421165/amp/ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY

The whole world is in lockdown right now due to the unprecedented Covid-19 health crisis. Everyone’s mental and emotional health is being tested, and, for those of us with BPD and other long term mental and emotional health challenges, the stress of the current situation may be adding to our vulnerabilities. In this episode I share some of the coping strategies that are helping to keep me (relatively) sane. Hopefully it will give some ideas on how to cope effectively during this difficult time.

It’s a fact: despite the UK’s National Health Service many of us with BPD (and other mental health conditions) do not get the kind of professional mental health support we need. This episode is not intended as a substitute for professional care. Rather, it’s a review of 10 tools I find helpful as part of my self-care and support system as I do my best to navigate living with BPD.

A listener suggestion prompted this episode on memory problems and BPD. In this episode I explore some of my experiences with memory problems as part of BPD and Depression, and I share 5 tips to help with memory problems associated with mental health. Body scan meditation: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OS_iqfGjL78&t=619s.

In this minisode I discuss the DBT skill called Teflon Mind, and share an example of how I adapted it to suit my needs over the holiday period. Article about Teflon Mind: https://www.anythingtostopthepain.com/dbt-skill-of-the-day-teflon-mind-from-mindfulness-module/

Splitting, a common BPD symptom, causes many of us to act impulsively and self destructively. In this minisode I discuss strategies for managing splitting episodes without ruining relationships, hurting ourselves and compromising our values.

The topic of boundaries is a massive one. I may do several episodes on the topic! In this one I draw on an article by Dr. Arielle Schwartz )”Boundaries and the Self”) to bring you five simple yet not easy practices you can use to cultivate more loving and effective boundaries in your life. Article referenced in the episode: https://drarielleschwartz.com/boundaries-and-the-self-dr-arielle-schwartz/#.Xe01GCWnwlQ

BPD folk often become extremely romantically obsessed with unavailable people. In this episode I describe my current struggle with obsession and what I’m doing to overcome it.

What is hypomania, how is it different to mania and how do you cope with it? This episode of Beyond the Borderline offers answers to the above questions from a peer perspective. Hypomania and Mania - article from MIND U.K. website: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hypomania-and-mania/#.XaAviWjTWEc

I discuss why many of us with BPD (and other mental and emotional health problems) struggle with happiness and joy, and examine some coping strategies and tools to help us tolerate these essential emotions.

We all know (or many of us do) that a BPD diagnosis still comes with a fair amount of stigma attached, even from some mental health professionals. In this episode I share some personal reflections of how stigma has played out for me as a person with BPD, as well as some tips and tools I have found useful in combatting stigma. Opinions expressed in this episode are my own.

This episode focuses on a tool from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy called IMPROVE, which is designed to help you navigate stressful situations which cannot be resolved immediately. I think it’s a cool tool because it’s adaptable, easy to use and remember, and fun to get creative with. My top tip: try it out and practice it when you are mildly emotional, as that will help you access it when you’re in full on emotional crisis mode. As always this podcast episode is not a substitute for professional mental health support. More information about IMPROVE: https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/improve-the-moment-with-emotion-regulation-strategies

Part 2 of a 3 Part Episode on folks with BPD/EUPD and relationships - from a peer perspective. In this segment I look at a tool called “Defining Your Values” and discuss how it can help us to develop healthier relationships with ourselves and others. #mentalhealth #narcissism #bpd Please note: I am not affiliated with any of the websites listed below: https://www.cmu.edu/career/documents/my-career-path-activities/values-exercise.pdf, https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets/values/none, https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/identify-your-true-values, https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/tests/personality/values-profile%3famp

A look, a tone, a side eye... those of us with BPD (EUPD), who identify as emotionally sensitive and/or have been affected by trauma can be affected by other peoples’ non verbal communication in ways that may seem extreme and confusing to others, and sometimes to ourselves. In this minisode I explore why we sometimes experience such emotionally explosive reactions and a few ways we can manage distressing interpersonal communications. Please note: if you are in a significant relationship of any kind with someone who uses non verbal communication to shame, bully or demean you, please seek professional help. For more information on Radical Acceptance, as discussed in this episode: https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-it-really-means-to-practice-radical-acceptance/

How to survive a crisis: Crisis survival skills for when you are emotionally overwhelmed. For more information on the workbook mentioned in this episode: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Skills-Training-Handouts-Worksheets-Second/dp/1572307811/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=marsha+linehan+dbt+book&qid=1558358604&s=gateway&sprefix=marsha+lune&sr=8-2

I explore why we are often drawn to NPD folks, as well as a coping tip you can use when you find yourself irresistibly drawn to someone who may not be a healthy choice for you. Links: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/understanding-narcissism/201711/why-do-narcissists-and-borderlines-fall-in-love%3famp. Narcissistic abuse information: https://narcissisticbehavior.net. Domestic violence (UK): www.womensaid.org.uk. www.refuge.org.uk. Domestic violence (US): Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233. Crisis Line (UK): The Samaritans 116 123 (free number). Crisis Line (US): National Suicide Prevention Helpline - 1-800-273-8255

In this episode I share some of my own experiences in an effort to deconstruct some of the derogatory terms often used to describe people with BPD.

Splitting is the subject of this episode of Beyond the Borderline. I define what splitting is according to my understanding and share some DBT and other tips that have helped me reduce my own splitting episodes. Remember, I am a peer with lived experience of BPD and other mental health issues, NOT a mental health professional. Opinions expressed are my own.

Minisode - I share about a triggering encounter and the role of creativity in my life. I ask you, listeners, to share your experiences of creativity as a healing tool. Tweet me @beyondtheborde3 to voice your opinion.

In this episode I walk you through how to use a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy technique called ABC PLEASE, which can help you regulate your emotions in the short and long term. I share from a peer (not professional) perspective!

Welcome to Episode One of Beyond The Borderline! In this episode I introduce myself and give a brief description of my experience of mental health problems including BPD and how things have changed since I was first diagnosed. I also share one of my favourite tools for when I am struggling with overwhelm, or to self care.