Cursing Cousins

[Poetic Process Podcast] [Season 4][Episode 1 ] Release Date: [7/17/2023] Overview: In this episode of Poetic Process Podcast, B the Poet dives into the intricacies of what becoming 30 means. Not the graceful becoming of the likes of Michelle Obama but the stumbling Millennial in a world of blurred lines and sticky corners. Is hot girl summer cancelled? Resources Mentioned: Summer House Martha's Vineyard: https://www.bravotv.com/summer-house-marthas-vineyard. The 3 C's In Friendship : https://visionwisecapital.com/the-three-cs-of-friendship/#:~:text=A%20different%20way%20of%20categorizing,for%20what%20you%20are%20for! Sex In The City : Season 1 Episode 3 “Bay of Married Pigs”

What's the definition of insanity Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result That's the quote or unfounded consults Cause I beg to differ In a different context doing the same thing over and over is consistency and the dignity sums praises' like symphonies Keep going hoping for that expected result and it's no one's fault when you get the tales The short end of the stick The hits and the licks make you not want to do this shit But you keep going Mowing til the sunburn Create those clothes only to say their unworn Keep fighting like your sworn The day will come when it's your turn

21 questions Can I help you to your walker in your old age Finish your sentences when your thoughts are delayed Will you help me with my socks when I can't see over my stomach With a bun in the oven get my bonnet when I've lost it and I'm not fully cognizant I need clarity is your heart full of sincerity Am I a trophy toy in your bigger picture is your height and the romANTICS the only reason why I'm fucking witchu I don't want this to be superficial I want something mutually beneficial *in-opportunistic* A friendship a We: a rose by any other name wouldn't* smell as sweet Wherefore art thou Blank and B It's Mac and cheese but will you Forever hold the keys

You been with your niggas shooting in the gym A little frost in the air now you want to be more than friends calling my phone back to back from hinge to unhinged Got all these intentions planning thanksgiving Want me in the kitchen with your mama To scale fish and pluck chicken cause I'm her favorite Does that mean this week or just lately I don't have time for the fake smiles sweet potato pie for the appetize with your tribe-called questions cause your cousin know Lawanda and your aunt know you fucking heather oh she wasn't invited how self-righteous So I'm the fool posing with the fam for the gram cause I'm the good girl you been needing how demeaning This scenario so apparent it's gleaming how bought you go choke on your cuffing season -BT.W @confettifilled

See you sent your representative and I'm Not interested in him Battle of the sexes your rhetoric offends Rewinding and rewinding their plays like NFL film competitions for commitment I condemn When did it all get so clinical black and white when did we all get a mic to fight about what's right can we silence the egos enough hear one another to build something not mention who belongs in the kitchen and just listen not demanding submission and rocks that glisten And Just listen what's for you isn't for me And spoonfuls of salt isn't meant to eat I'm not indulging or picking a side I'm just saying what's for my eyes is my prize No one's convictions can make me pick one I'm my own spokesperson While y'all busy dividing the pot and setting alpha positions the other side is clapping for the revisions and constant indecision drafts after drafts after drafts and the power in the family unit is what's missing I'm no hotep but whose getting the last laugh while your on your thesis pontificating Their dissertation completed and they graduated amalgamation fortifying the formation should be the keynote Not who to demote and to hex in the battle of the sex …… what's next

1:13 This is a crazy time and there's no getting away every time I fly infectious planes I have to think about a new strain every post I witness is political wickedness this world is unhinged Sunday Funday frolic and ABC friends but I'm angry yet I smile and shuck for these corona bucks institutions for testing watching copious money flow from the vaccine I got it but how intrusive of the world to unleash a thing and call it a thing when the feen is the one making all the green ain't no stopping no sugar coating the rocks and shit coral reefs and rainforest trees deplete fires and floods in the street ……then famine I prayed to not live through the last days as I sat there on the third day hot and over drank I asked myself is this hell mariachi and cheap tequila celebrating as the world burns around me no thoughts of optimism when I leave here and go back to the world it'll be the same shit no vacation or spaceships can escape this plane shift goodness gracious…BT.W

6:58. All gold ain't good I don't need a zaddy to take me out some hood I get mad at my pussy like …… I know you could & She look up at me like Bitch I wish you would Listen when it comes to funds Pussy doesn't see it for these niggas The old cats that used to be drug dealers that flipped the clip and hit the licks on investments before the prime got in early diversed' it with Oracle & Amazon The audacity to ask me for 15 bands what's HIS?!!? ROI Pussy won't pop for a pay day & It pisses B off it's not me being shady cause I know the girls be running it up on the daily But….My Pussy she be talking back yes! I'm complaing Honestly I can't bring her or myself to do it with the best of me but to the left of me is Bethany and Stephanie flying Emirates to Dubai then Greece All off their pussies Ide be a fool to believe that the words that these girl scream in them steams being boats in capri only with the appealing cut from the cloth of diddy Miss me Niagara arhh round my age bracket of 10's but round these grandpappies my pussy be Sahara'ing Like you got grandkids 100 bodies easy Even how you approach me giving cheesy Miss me Half of these old heads just beg “What your name sweetheart” Is all I hear in my head Is my pussy broken cause she's not supply with de'man I don't understand I guess I'mma have to run my own bands not from but for Uncle Sam DAMN

I wonder if they know I dont give af about the blue cheese on their salad or about their family's new rabbit The weather has been the same for weeks so why do we need to kiki about the lack of condensation when there's inflation and asset devaluation the nation is in bile, famine, and sporadic pandemics Doesn't it hurt to smile rather to pretend and to talk about the same thing every day Backstage clock out curtain call the play Ceases I wonder if deep they don't care either The energy it takes speaking has my spirit leaking I feel grim to say fuck them kids I don't care about the puddle in your driveway even though it didn't rain the games you play with the gang down out the brewery I prefer silence and quiet I do my work I go home and have my excitement and they'll never know I might peel back the external and glow rather slow but careful to expose the more they know it's like touching a hot stove on my end, I would like to be friends but every time in the past I've tried my business like dirty water gets to murky it's safe to keep the clarity than to have Cooler Convos -BT.W Youtube Links https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hiVQf9MPzg&feature=youtu.be

I THINK I'M BAD The cycle is a strange thing when you've been through your brain re-enacts what's been done to you you think by going through something you would realize the pain & hopefully, you'll never have to go through it again but what about that good girl or guy that comes to you & gives you all the things that you're not used to what happens to them you've been through hell so why is it so hard to appreciate the good “He's been good to me but i've been bad to him” DAMAGED to say the least I've heard terminology such as “baggage” before but how do you train your brain not to think the things about the new person IS HE CHEATING, WHO IS HE TEXTING, WHERE IS HE GOING EX EX. My judge mental accusations are the least of my worries however lets talk about my recent endeavors I've come across something that I call temptation and I dug myself sooo deep in the situation that I don't know how to get out the same things I used to cry about the same things I used to complain about the same shit I used to dream about I do to Mr. good, I cant explain it I cant help it its like a fatal attraction Mr. bad turns me on in ways I cant explain and its crazy cause Mr. good treats me like a Black queen he might not have all the things I want or meet all of my emotional expectations all the time but I can count on him to be faithful and to be my back bone but you…..you you Mr.Bad give me something that I've absolutely never had mr. good is my safe haven that I needed but …… Mr. bad is smooth sweet considerate ambitious tall brown skin and consistent as many times as I said NO the 2X he tried I can not help but be enticed by the fire dance every word that leaves his mouth through those lips just feels right I haven't crossed that line physically but the words that he says to me the way he sings to me give me a feeling of guilty pleasure I want him to take me in every place imaginable I can see it happening your soft lips on my skin my natural hair pulled straight by your tight yet warm embrace the cool guy smiles you'll flash between kisses and deep hard thrust I cant help but see this in my dreams as drift in to a lustful sleep for the past few nights I've tossed and Iv'e turned because its your extrovert I yearn I don't know if its because I'm not supposed to have you or what but you hypnotize me your insight into my deepest desires worries me i want you to fuck my brain then I want you to fuck me too what ever you want I'll do writing this makes me realize how much shit I'm in

The poem Starts at 6:34 Daddy Issues To know you is to love you Or at least that's the phrase Praises aloud for this day for the daddy's that Didn't leave their children to the rain Conversations accusations about him the fatherless son that doesn't tie his tie straight sits outside on the porch all-day and doesn't give his baby mama a break Her house is his crib now His nursing turns to mooching he doesn't understand what he's doing her backs breaks the kids are watching the cards fall from the spades table on every holiday that's when he's around for the celebrations and photographs but the systemic systems will have the last laugh That's what they wanted Broken households minds begin to fold like maturing proteins Mothers cling to their sons and push away their daughters and the system repeats the son leaves that nest to fall to that daughter that never got nurturing from her father so whatever will do you do me I do you We've seen it a million times So when does it stop my thoughts on this situation is that this ideology wasn't true It's Egpigenetic gerational transcendic" verbal seed planting saying that I didn't see what was happing is a fallacy Keisha don't have a daddy Meghan don't have a daddy so why should I be any different? Questions My anger more so comes in thinking how hateful some people have been and how they didn't realize how there tongue could offend me in my 10s You care how your actions could've molded me and you didn't give a shit you were more concerned about the benefit or inconvenience no one wants to deal with single mother of now two But to speak in front of children this way some of you should be more careful some of you should be ashamed your daddy probably wasn't shit so you wish you were fucking your son hating on a mother with a daughter of one I could've been a baby mom a shooter or just in the streets but I'm degreed and nft'd and people are confused Why because I didn't decide to fester in your rejection these aren't daddy issues these are daddy lessons In times like these we love to say it's a learned behavior in children with racism, and hatred Not to equate it but let's conflate it You mean to tell me that keisha didn't have a daddy Meghan didn't have a daddy her momma nor her momma either And we're all roaming broken in the ether Let me explain something Let me make it simple yes in a perfect world I would want ever black household to have a mother father three children and a dog but …. I know everything works against that and as a community, we know that trying to patch a wound we clammer to stop the bleeding overexplaining these reasons for absence they televising pain like it's ad sense Anecdotally I used to talked to a dude that didn't want kids because of what his father never did, didn't want to be a husband because he was fathering his kin bought his momma a house and paid his sisters tuitions* What's more father than that past the monetary watching cousins preparing weekly lunches I think the fatherless children get a bad rap most responsible we handles that all of this is just a projection from family members and extend making it seem like we're broken is sad and personally I'll never hold that bag I'm me I'm not your pain your agony a statistic an overly independent fatherless black women my thoughts are all over the place because I've thought about this for decades how can one miss what never existed

I can't cry with the fear that It'll aggravate my symptoms Chest tight blurry vision My body is weak I don't want to speak to quickly as ill become breathless Can't think to eat trying to stay up with fear of drifting during my sleep No one to talk to I'm probably fine it's all in my mind I know ill be a patient soon Im aware I stare at the wall foreseeing what's near oxygen, Ambient, and fluoxetine will soon be part of my daily needs How do I know, because I do If you knew me you would know too I write to you the other me to get through because the emergency room isn't an option I've been to the urgent care twice All I can do is pray to make it through the night despite feeling breathless how reckless can I be How sickly did I not know I was I look above and I might find peace as tears fall from my eyes Have I been chosen I'm tired god I''m awaken Im sorry god for I have forsaken you Ive always taken care of me through the grace of you Ive always taken care of me because no one else did nor is it their responsibility but I can't do this anymore I've been brought to my knees Ive suppressed my feelings Ive put on smiles I've pressed through anxiety? Or that's what they told me But never have I ever experienced such a thing This December 2019 I felt like a dark spirit had moved into my body and posted As I walked freely I felt like something was squeezing my diaphragm I consistently had body aches mutt-led taste and a low desire for eating I lost 20 pounds on the couch that winter I didn't recognize myself to have lost control in this way I didn't know what to say to not have an answer confused me I'm used to controlling everything but when your body turns there is no barring back to work I pushed though plane to plane swollen cavs, and toes, rashes along my thoracic cavity hot tea hot tea everyday I drank sleeping sitting up to help my airway it wasn't easy those beginning weeks then boom quarantine theres this new thing covid-19 I've heard of it but I didn't know the extent of the symptoms no one did apparently my doctors neither I had been taking Xanax, albuterol, and hydroxyzine. For what they deemed late-onset asthma and panic attacks because of it. I don't blame them I don't feel resentment I believe hydroxyzine saved my life antihistamine properties helps the fight peer reviews pub med posted this twice flight to flight LA to Baltimore Denver to Lubbock to Houston to Austin Iowa to Kansas to Kansas back to fucking Kansas ! it was inevitable I get it again poison through my veins same thing heavy in the chest I can't breath plane to plane with recycled air face mask down face mask up face mask down face mask up somebodies eating nuts nobody gives a fuck but I'm the hero with checks with a whole lotta zeros hospital to hospital lab to lab testing equipment making big fucking bags but I'm not breathing eating from someone else hands sleeping in bougie moderately sanitized hotel rooms cheesing barely sleeping not wanting to breathe in gasps after gasps contaminating my lungs but its big big fun flewed out only home on Saturdays if you wanna to see me mother fucka betta catch a plane 3 years down the fucking drain patriarchy on my neck I just want a breath I fucking fucking quit

Lets say this was a lit poem. Take it with a grain of salt more to come.

Drake's room a poem about infidelity one of a two part. 

Wish to never finish. A love poem one of many...

I mean a girl can dream was a poem written in 2014 that speaks to transitions and the confusion that correlates. 2020 has been a year of twist and turns for all of us and this poem revisits the idea of dreaming of better and how only you as an individual can make it happen. IG. ConfettiFilled

I'm lost for words.

What do Micheal Jackson, R.kelly, and work place harassment have in common...........................................we'll wait. Is this a dangerous line we're treading mixing sexual assault crimes and clear child molestation. The cross hairs of U.S policy and the wave of "pay me propaganda" being shuffled around the chitlin circuit is cringey and quite questionable. Blame the parents. Blame the perpetrator. Blame the systems and policies that allow these things to happen to "regular" people everyday. ELECTRIC CHAIR

www.instagram.com/cursing.cousins/

In retrospect the story I based this on is kind of weak so I may re-visit this topic. I'm not to sure what I'm doing with this segment but this was on my mind so we'll see where it goes. The importance of pushing to a goal and continuously moving forward is what keeps us all going. I can get stifled by simple sh*t sometimes and leave/check out of life or people whenever I find myself annoyed or simply over-it. I just realize now that getting disgruntled by what the universe throws at you is never the solution. Plan it and work it Words: #Manifest . #PLAN IT AND #WORK IT or #Forward as Beyonce would say (insert emoji)

We're all tired of hearing about Jussie but we smell a conspiracy..... Make sure you leave a 5 stare review..because "we're cousins" ;) Cover art provided via tumblr by @tycheriee