Designated Drinker

Join the gals as they attempt to tackle the Twilight Saga a second time- but this time with additional werewolves!! Join the gals as they debate Jacob's wig, why Jacob is a better fit for Bella than the boring wooden Edward. Will Emily admit that this film is terrible??? Why does Emily like these movies so much??? And what or who is Face Punch????? Join the gals this week and find out!!!!

Welcome back to Designated Drinker! After over a year hiatus due to unforeseen pandemic-related issues, the gals are back! And this time they brought a special guest with them- the hot and spicy Emma Howes! Join the gals as they talk about Emma's experiences on the streets, whether or not Channing Tatum is attractive, and the wider Step Up Universe. Let's endure!

It's 2020 and the gals are about to mess with the Zohan! We welcome our first extra special guest of the new year, Emma Pollit!! Join the girls as they try to find out just who is the Zohan?? Why should he not be messed with?? How many hummus jokes before it gets old? And is this the movie that is going to finally solve the Israeli–Palestinian conflict???? Let's endure!!

The gals are back with a spooky halloween special!!!! Join them for the Uwe Boll 2003 classic video-game zombie movie House of the Dead! Will there be a scene that lasts more than 15 seconds?? How many titties will there be in the final titty tally??? And who exactly is Geg??? Tune in to find out!! Let's endure!!

Get ready to get gooped!! The gals sit down to watch Shallow Hal and have several questions, including what exactly are the rules of this movie? Is Tim Robbins a life guru or a magician? Why does Gwyneth Paltrow have such tiny hands??? Join us this week to maybe find out answers to these questions but also probably not!!! Let's Endure!!!

This week the gals have a guest- the wonderful and talented Grace Cohen! Join us as we attempt to puzzle through the fast-paced, nonsensical classic Vampire Academy! Will we ever find the answers to our most pressing questions- what on earth is going on? Will the frog ever be released from the princess' mouth? and who exactly is Kenneth and why is he invulnerable? Let's endure! You can get Grace's book Calling this Body Home at: https://burningeye.bigcartel.com/product/calling-this-body-home-by-grace-cohen

The gals are coming back atcha with a romcom which includes Gary Oldman shuffling about on his knees! Join them as they discuss Mr Oldman's famous moose soup, how much his knees rub rub rubbed on the ground as he walked, and how Matthew Mcconaughey probably doesn't, but certainly looks like he'd slip something in your drink and then take you home! Let's endure!!!!

In this week's minisode the girls try to make their way through the original bad movie- Reefer Madness. Both the girls are drinking this week, and as they get drunker they ask- does reefer really do that? How many lives will be taken by this reefer? How much more reefer can one person take???? Bring a drink and join us for our first ever post drinks!!

The gals are back and are tackling the Tyra Banks Lindsay Lohan classic, Life Size! Will Emily be able to figure out what this movie is about with no background info on it at all??? Will Tyra Banks be able to fuck that creepy serial killer-looking dad? And most importantly, will Lindsay Lohan be able to resurrect her dead mom???? Tune in and find out!!

Happy holidays drinkers!!! In honour of this most festive season, we watch the greatest Christmas film of them all, The Holiday! Join the gals as we muddle through this semi-modern Christmas classic and try to answer the most pressing questions this film presents, like who are those kids who look like they have tuberculosis? Why won't Cameron Diaz stop running? And of course, who exactly is Kate Winslet's love interest in this movie, Jack Black, or this old guy called Arthur?? Join us as we (festively) endure!!!

A quick announcement regarding what the heck is goin on with this podcast's release schedule.

This week Morgan and Emily try to make sense of the baffling live-action Shrek rip-off Ella Enchanted. Join the gals as they ask the important questions about this nonsensical universe- Does the book really need to be a boyfriend? Is Kelly Clarkson an elf in this universe? and most importantly- why is Morgan so obsessed with this piece of shit movie??? Tune in, and let's endure!

This week the gals attempt to tackle the divisive modern classic Twilight. Will Emily's enthusiasm for this trash movie about incest-y vampires ever wane? Who exactly is Butt-Crack Santa? And will James ever stop talking about his ponytail?? Join us as we endure!

This week Emily, Morgan and special guest Tom Turner watch the 2002 classic Thunderpants. Join us as we try to make sense of what exactly is going on. Whats the deal with all this green? Can you actually fart so badly your father will leave? And what exactly is Keira Knightley doing here?? Join us as we endure (or enjoy?) the most ridiculous film we've encountered so far!!

Join the gals this week as they watch the historically important Howard the Duck! Morgan and Emily stumble through this cinematic masterpiece and ask the tough questions- how come those ducks have titties? Will Leah Thompson have sex with a duck puppet? And why does Howard go through TWO jobs in this movie while Morgan and Emily have none?? Tune in, and let's endure!

The gals are back from their accidental summer hiatus! This week Emily and Morgan wade through the unexpectedly long and very boring romantic classic The Notebook! Join the gals as they wade through a film that defined unhealthy romantic love for both of them as teenagers. This week we ask the real questions- are couples supposed to argue this much? Is this how dementia really works? And of course, will anyone send us hot wet pics???? Tune in and find out! Let's endure!

Emily and Morgan are back with an extra-long episode this week! The girls tackle Darren Aronofsky's drug-fuelled, poorly researched extravaganza, Requiem for a Dream! Join the gals as they go on an educational adventure to find out how bad are drugs really are. Does weed really make you do that? Who is Sal the Geep? Is getting fucked with a double dildo really a necessary part of the otherwise stagnant narrative of this motion picture?? Let's endure!

This week Morgan and Emily are finally tackling their first adult movie- Mindhunters!! Not the Netflix series but a massively inferior 2004 murder mystery film!! Join the gals as they try and decide who did all these extravagant murders. Was it JD from Heathers?? LL Cool J??? I think there was a British guy in there somewhere??? Also will Toots and the Blonde ever find out how exactly one gets murdered by an extravagant rube goldberg machine?? Let's find out, and endure!!!

This week Emily is dying from deadlines so Morgan presents you with some bloopers and never before heard extras! But don't worry- the gals will be back next week with a new full episode.

This week we have our second guest! The wonderful Ayanna joins Morgan and Emily as they plow their way through the 1998 remake of Doctor Dolittle. Will Ayanna manage to find an alcoholic beverage good enough for Emily's high tastes? How can you make a children's film about talking animals so racist? And what exactly is this movie preaching? Tune in and find out on this week's Designated Drinker!

This week on Designated Drinker we have our first ever guest- Oscar Barany!!! (AKA the man responsible for colouring our cover art!!) Listen in as Morgan and Oscar get absolutely exhaustively drunk and Emily attempts to endure their obnoxiousness!! Will the Designated Drinkers be able to figure out what powers the foot? Will this film pass the Bechdael test and become a feminist masterpiece? How many races can one children's movie possibly offend? Tune in to find out! Warning- this episode might be a little difficult to listen to- editing was a nightmare because we were having too much loud fun right next to the microphones but we assure you it, like so many movies watched drunkenly, is worth enduring.

Emily gets drunk and Morgan wishes she was- this week the gals endure the 2001 classic Cats and Dogs.

Damn that CGI bitch