Karate Emergency

Don’t take your small children to see R-rated movies. It’s a bad idea. Also, it’s supposed to snow in Seattle this week. We’ll see about that. The Mariners are making moves at the Winter Meetings, acquiring a pitcher who actually threw a no-hitter in the major leagues. Will the Seahawks upgrade their offensive line this … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 48: Expect 1-to-3 Inches →

The Washington Huskies are one game away from their first ever berth in the College Football Playoff and we’re here to celebrate their accomplishments through sips of beer. Yay, Huskies. Down in Oregon, however, things aren’t nearly as rosy. Which coach, exactly, will inherit a 4-8 Ducks team heading into 2017? Plus, the Seahawks fell … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 47: You Down With CFP? →

Look what you did, America. Don’t deny it. Don’t hide from it. We elected that guy. How did this happen? And what’s next for us? Shit just got real. Assemble your posses, because we’re in this together, just like LeBron. Russell Wilson’s got his crew looking good, and he’s added a new team on the side, … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 46: My Posse’s On Broadway →

The Sonics Arena news is top of mind, and being the basketball fanatics we are, it’s our No. 1 priority to dissect every angle of the ongoing Chris Hansen/City of Seattle soap opera. Will things finally work out for us this time? Are Hansen and the NBA league office more aligned than ever before? Will … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 45: Chris Hansen is a Saint →

The resident 12th Man Maniac is fired up about the Seahawks defensive schemes, so we corral a former member of the team’s defense to weigh in and bring some levity to a heated debate. Marcus Trufant and Terry Hollimon from The Barbershop make an impromptu guest appearance and join the show to share their vast football … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 44: Barbershop Quintet →

The Washington Huskies ended the University of Oregon’s 22-year experiment with football on Saturday and two-thirds of the show crew are ecstatic about it. We go full Husky fan on this week’s show, delving into the Dawgs’ championship hopes, the excitement around the rest of the regular season, the outcome of the Apple Cup, and … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 43: 70-21 →

Kelly is scouting teenage baseball players in the Dominican Republic, which leaves the only members of the show with Y chromosomes to sound off on this week’s topics. The Mariners are clinging to their postseason hopes with just four games left to play, the Husky football team prepares for their biggest matchup in two decades, Russell … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 42: All-Male Revue →

The Mariners are winning. The Seahawks are winning. The Huskies are winning. We hardly know what to do with ourselves anymore. In the spirit of all the success, we dial up the only Baltimore Orioles fan we know and talk a little shit before delving into our usual grumpiness, then celebrate the recent triumphs of … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 41: Slick’s Chicks →

The Mariners season is deader than Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s and the start of football season is just days away. That leaves us to bridge the gap with a barrel of shenanigans, which is more or less our forte. It’s time to get grumpy over pumpkin spice lattes, fall weather, first day of school pics, … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 40: Screw Your Pumpkin Spice →

  Your go-to pseudo-sports podcast returns this week to discuss the state of the Mariners, Russell Wilson’s wedding relocation, Slickhawk’s ESPN instructional swimming video, and a massive dildo protest in Texas. Check it out on this week’s Karate Emergency!

The esteemed Jason La Canfora, NFL reporter extraordinaire, joins us in-studio for what is undoubtedly the most fun we’ve ever had on Karate Emergency. A resident pain in Mitch Levy’s ass, which we love, and the king of all the meerkats, we talk Seahawks, NFL football, Russell Wilson, and most importantly, the MLB playoff race. Plus, was … Continue reading Karate Emergency, Ep. 38: The King Meerkat →

Why aren’t more fans optimistic about the Mariners? Should they be? Despite failing to improve themselves at the trade deadline, the M’s keep winning and have a shiny new toy to showcase. We discuss in depth the fate of their 2016 season. Plus, the usual irritation of grumpiness is unleashed, and Tindermonials is put on … Continue reading Karate Emergency Ep. 37: First-World Problems →

The most iconic athlete in Seattle sports history is in the Hall of Fame, which means it’s the perfect time for us to reflect on his legacy, his induction speech, and whether or not any of today’s local athletes can match his status atop this city’s Mount Rushmore. Plus, how does our perception of athletes … Continue reading Karate Emergency Ep. 36: The Kid →

Kevin Durant, bless his heart, has bolted Oklahoma City for greener pastures. Is he an American hero? Absofrickinlutely. Russell Wilson got married on Wednesday, but is his safety a concern? And the Mariners are struggling-surviving as they put fans through a roller coaster ride of a week. All that, plus Tindermonials on this week’s Karate … Continue reading Karate Emergency Ep. 35: Steal Your Thunder →

Ken Griffey Jr. was a Hall of Fame prankster, Tarvaris Jackson is an idiot, Doug Baldwin is getting paid like a middle reliever, and the meerkats are back in full force as Texty reads your Tindermonials. All of that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!