Matt and Cobley's Podcast

This "week" Cobley and Matt talk about their favourite cuttings. What could that POSSIBLY mean I'm sure you're wondering. Basically, the moral of the story is: BE CAREFUL WITH SCISSORS KIDS. It's all fun and games until Matt loses two fingers and an eye.

It's SCIENCE TIME! Matt and Cobley perform a series of groundbreaking experiments aimed at advancing our understanding of time, space, the universe and crisps. We also join Cobley on a journey through the stars in our new regular section, "Cobley's Space Rocket". Finally, Matt sets fire to his own hands.

The entire history of television laid bare by TV historians Matt and Cobley! From Countdown to Countdown 2: The Wrath of Whiteley, there's nothing the boys can't discuss in thorough detail. Featuring a special cameo appearance by CBBC puppet Vomit-o the Vole.

Matt has always been a staunch believer in the paranormal, as he reveals to his podcast-friend Cobley in this spoooooky episode. We learn of how Matt wasn't just raised by lemurs, but by GHOST LEMURS. He also once saw a GHOST WITCH, but it might've just been a brush. There's a séance at the end of this week's show which you WON'T BELIEVE.

This episode of the podcast documents Matt and Cobley's epic and unending life-mission: to find the legendary lost city of Eldorado. In pursuit of this goal, they overcome multiple unfathomable obstacles: the fact it doesn't exist, the fact that it wouldn't matter even if it did, and the fact that they never once mention Eldorado in the podcast. DO THE WOODLAND BOP! Once you start, it's so hard to stop.

Does "fun" exist? Does anybody know? Matt and Cobley don't but by Jimbles they'll do their damndest to find out. Their investigation begins with them questioning the existence of bouncy castles, castigating clowns and playing the '90s PC-only Nintendo game "Mario's FUNdamentals" at length. It ends with them not playing it anymore.

Health! (I need somebody.) Health! (Not just anybody.) Health! (You know I need someone.) HEALTH! Come to think of it, when I was young (so much younger than today), I was far better at writing podcast blurbs. Let's see now... Matt and Cobley talk about their inevitable deaths through copious glue-sniffing and other reckless self-endangerment. They then both contract a deadly virus and become (respectively) patients zero and, erm, one, in the now-unavoidable plague apocalypse. They also give out fitness tips.

Time for business busy-bees Matt and Cobley talk some serious business like nobody's business. Tune in to this week's episode for some TOP MONEY-MAKING TIPS! Probably.

Life is like a box of bollocks. Here's an episode about it! That's right, Matt and Cobley are back for another series of their difficult-to-explain-or-justify podcast. It's nice that they've got something to do.

We wish you a Cobley podcast, we wish you a Cobley podcast, we wish you a Cobley podcast and a happy Matt (he's the other one in it).

Cobley always dreamed of being a relationship guru, while Matt always dreamed of being in a relationship *with* a guru. Consequently much of this week's podcast is spent trying to work out what a "guru" actually is. It's the last episode of the series so I reckon there's a good chance they'll get married at the end. Or one of them will be killed. Or, possibly, nothing will happen at all. LISTEN AND SEE!

In loving memory of Gary Barlow (god rest his soul), Matt and Cobley explore the seedy scandals of the music industry, up to and including the SHOCKING truth behind Byan Ferry's crippling addiction to Curly Wurlys. This entire episode is sung in close harmony with fifteen burly Welsh men.

The podcast boys (that's Matt and Cobley) endure a volley of argument concerning WHO HAS THE BIGGEST HAT. Once resolved, they continue by discussing in great depth the pros and cons of tight leather hotpants (and whether or not all future podcasts should be perfomed in them). It's enlightening!

Matt and Cobley (mainly Matt) apologise for there not being a podcast this week...

Matt and Cobley accurately predict the plot of the upcoming Hollywood smash "Jurassic Park 4", and discuss the personal life of Academy Award-winning actor Les Dennis. This episode also features EXCLUSIVE behind-the-scenes gossip straight from the set of "Drive-Racing 2: Mean Streets". It's QUITE A RIDE.

This week Matt and Cobley catch up with the Eastenders gang and finally get to the bottom of who REALLY killed Jeremy Geralds. After sorting that out, they get to the nitty-gritty of working out which Hollyoaks character they're least likely to have sex with. Spoiler alert: it's the weird-looking one.

On this week's show Matt and Cobley discuss the career of Ryder Cup champion Ryan Giggs, how to choose the fastest-looking horse at the (horse) races and who they reckon is the best out of the Hungry Hungry Hippos (spoiler: it is the orange one).