The Inner Process Podcast

Trauma in our relationships can come in many forms. In this episode we look at betrayal trauma. We explore what makes it trauma and what to do if it has happened to you or someone you love.

It is common to feel like we did not have trauma growing up, and yet statistics would disagree. Many know that there were traumatic things in their childhood but haven't connected the dots on how that impacts them now. We attempt to shed light on both of these points and more in our recent episode. 

7 out of 10 people have experienced at least one traumatic event, and if you include relational trauma that may increase to including everybody. Season 3 is on trauma, and today we ask: what really is trauma? How do we know if we've been affected by it and what do we do if we are? Listen to hear our discussion on why it's important to find those answers.

We don't know about you but we have sometimes found it hard to find the right therapist. We also regularly talk to potential clients about what it is like to work with us and how to find a good fit. If you are thinking of starting counseling, or making a change to your current counselor, this episode is for you.  You might be surprised to hear what we think are some of the most important components of choosing a therapist.

Some level of trauma will impact us all.  It is estimated that 70% of the world's population will experience at least one single event trauma in their lifetime.  Further, trauma shows up as adults in ways that are often labeled "mental health" issues. Things like: anxiety, depression and physical symptoms.  In this episode we take a look at what it means to experience trauma and how to spot it.  We also talk about what to do about the trauma you've suffered.

Are you an overthinker? Typically when we overthink; we replay, ruminate and rehash interactions with others or decisions. The problem with this is that we become more anxious as we do these 3 R's. We do this with big decisions sometimes as well as smaller moments.  If you tend to overthink, tune in to this episode as we talk about how what is underneath overthinking and how to stop.

Is perfectionism really a bad thing? How do I know if I am a perfectionist? What should I do if I am? If you have asked yourself any of these questions, this is the podcast for you. We look at what it means to be a perfectionist and some of the benefits. We also examine the roots of perfectionism and how to live more free. 

One of the challenges of living in the digital age is all these choices.  Having choices are good, but at a certain point they lead to higher anxiety. The other downside is that we then struggle to commit to the things we choose to do. In this episode we talk about how to limit choices to healthy levels and how to maintain commitment to the choices we make.  If you're feeling like it might be time to simplify life a little, listen in.

In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to wait well.  One of the facts about life is that we sometimes want to be in a different job, relationship, city, house, etc. but we we cannot act upon that desire at that time.  When that time comes, it is important to know how to wait in a healthy way and get the most from that time. 

What do you do when you're stuck. We have all had times like that in our life. We might want to make a change but aren't sure how, or even what to change. The result often feels unsettling and disorienting.  In this episode, we talk about what it means to be stuck and what it looks like to get unstuck. As usual, it turns out Jason and I know a thing personally about being stuck so listen in for some stories and some of the ways we have helped clients get unstuck.

If you've ever said that you, "just went with your gut", you may not have known how important your gut is to decision making.  In this episode we welcome Natalie Kazarian, LMFT to share with us her expertise on gut health and it's link to things like anxiety and depression. In recent time there is more and more research that is helping us understand the importance of a healthy gut to our mental health, decision making and overall health.  Join us for a little science, humor and practical insights.

Try as we might, we are going to have conflict in our relationships. The only way around it is to vow not to fight, but avoiding conflict isn't healthy either. The good news is that conflict can have very positive benefits for relationships.  As you already know, it has to be done well. In this episode we talk about the benefits and tools to have healthy conflict. There might also be a reference to bareknuckle brawling as well.

We all want our relationships to go well. We want to love and be loved. In this episode, we use our many years of experience as therapists (and our own marriages) to examine how we can know what makes our relationships work. Now, we also know that all relationships get off track sometimes and so we talk about how to reconnect when that happens.

Interestingly, almost 200 million people will make a resolution in 2021, but I bet you know that 80% of our new years resolutions fail even before January ends.  If this is you, take heart because there are some proven ways to make sure that you stay with those goals for improvement.  Join us for a talk that is a different take on how to grow in the new year.

As we finish season 1, we talk about what we have learned by doing this podcast. We talk about our failures (some behind the scenes) and successes. This was our chance to reflect and share our takeaways and offer you, the listener, the chance to reflect with us!

Do you ever experience anxiety? This year more than ever, we have all encountered a great deal to be anxious about. So what can we do? In this episode, Mike and Jason discuss symptoms of anxiety as well as its origins and practical ways to approach it. 

Are there difficult people in your life or difficult situations that you are not sure how to navigate? The idea of boundaries in our relationships is more widespread than ever and yet, it can still be hard to define what that means. It can also be hard to actually apply boundaries with certain people or in certain situations. In this episode we talk about what boundaries are and what it looks like to apply them.

In the second of a two part episode we continue to talk about how to change. If you're like us, you've discovered that it isn't as easy as it seems and can take longer than you want.  If you don't know how the "shame sandwich" sabotages the change process, listen to this episode. 

Have you ever had something that you really wanted to change, but it wasn't as easy as you thought it would be? Maybe you wanted to eat better, read more or start a new career. You are not alone. It turns out that sometimes, making changes is harder than we would predict. You might be surprised to know that there are stages that we all have to go through in order to make a change. Listen as we talk about those and other forces in play that work against us in the change process. This is the first of a two part episode.

You've been there right? An event, circumstance, or relationships happens and it is difficult. You want to change it to make it easier to handle, but it's outside your control. In those situations, what are we supposed to do? In this episode we talk about what it looks like and feels like to accept those situations. Accepting those things we cannot change is a critical tool for a peaceful life. Join us as we examine how to use this in our daily experience.

Who can't relate to fears like rejection, inadequacy, the unknown and failure? We all can on some level and so in the universal experience of fear, there is also support and hope. In this episode we talk about how fear shows up in our lives and what to do when it does. Naturally, there are some personal stories of the way fear has affected us and what we have done to work through it.

Do you ever feel like you're sleepwalking your way through life? Are you going through the motions and wish you could experience life in a deeper, more meaningful way? If so, listen as we talk to Colleen Odegaard. She's interviewed thousands of people in her role in broadcast television and now helps others live their life in a more fully present way.  She shares from her own story and gives some practical ways we can shed the things that keep us stuck in sleepwalking mode. 

Did you know you make thousands of decisions every day? We often put ourselves in positions where we have said yes too many times to those decisions. While it can be difficult to say no, it is a critical piece of living in a balanced way. In this episode, we talk about why we do this and look at some of the strategies for having the right balance of yes and no in our lives. 

Are you feeling tired, frazzled and scattered. If you're not sure what to do, or where to go next; a personal retreat might be just what the doctor ordered. In this episode we talk about our experiences with taking time out of the regular hurriedness to reflect and slow down. If you don't think you have the time or money to take a retreat, listen in as we discuss how to pull this off.

In this episode we survey the landscape of the counseling/helping field through the lens of our own internal process. We talk about what we hope to do with this podcast and a few of the ways we want to do it. We list topics we will cover in upcoming episodes. We do our normal thing of serious moments interspersed with jokes that at least, we think are funny. 

Quotes about the importance of failing are all over the place, but is failure really good for us? If it is, how do we fail well? It turns out that there are specific components of failure that we have to know in order to grow from it. If you aren't sure what those are; give a listen. We talk about failure with some research, humor and our own failure stories. Who doesn't love a good failure story or two?

In this episode, we don't talk baths and walks on the beach (as much as those are great). Instead we take a little different approach in how to do self care if you are a therapist, coach or helping professional. Even if you aren't, you will still find that the ideas apply to you as well. In our typical style, we share from our own self care failure stories and what we have learned.

As therapists/coaches/helpers we listen, serve and attend to others but what happens if we don't pay enough attention to our internal world. What is burnout? You might be surprised that there are different levels to the burnout process. For many reasons this subject isn't talked about  enough in inner circles so we want to prove we're not scared. Actually, we just thought it would be a good topic.