Podcasts about lmft

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  • 1,097PODCASTS
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  • Nov 30, 2021LATEST

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Best podcasts about lmft

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Latest podcast episodes about lmft

Lift + Love
Is my child being LGBTQ just a phase?

Lift + Love

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2021 43:06


When we talk to mom's of children who just came out - this is the number one question.  Is this just a phase?  Is this a trend?  All of their friends seem to be doing this. In this episode we talk with Dr. Lacey Bagley, LMFT who owns Celebrate LGBTQIA+ Therapy Services in Provo, Utah.  She helps us break "Is this just a phase?" down and gives us some great tips on how to parent and help your LGTBQ child as they explore their identity. To contact Dr. Lacey you can reach: Website: Celebrate Therapy/Dr. Lacey Celebratetherapy Instagram or Dr. Lacey Bagley Instagram If you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lift and Love Community is the place for you.  For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community Join us for any of our free monthly Lift+Love Support Groups - link sign up at Lift+Love Support . For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts at Lift+Love and Jenie Hunter Coaching    

Ode To Black Love
Episode 28 - All Things Therapy With Jordie Smith M.S., LMFT

Ode To Black Love

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2021 86:20


The Colemans welcome on licensed therapist Jordie Smith M.S., LFMT to talk all things therapy. From therapy in the black community to different forms of infidelity, it is all covered in this weeks episode of Ode to Black Love Podcast.Check Out Jordies Page: https://www.instagram.com/jordiesmithcounseling/Subscribe on Youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9O7E1B_Wc0ALAgDXUAWwBAIf you would like to be featured please fill out this questionnaire: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeQiRvZLqvdtmpt8cUNKhloyL5jvZC2jxfV33Khs41O-RxvVw/viewformContact: info@odetoblacklove.comIntro: Ode to Love - Chris Tha God MC CainOutro: 4 Letter Word - Chris Tha God MC Cainwww.odetoblacklove.comwww.instagram.com/odetoblacklove#BlackLove #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice #blackpodcast

Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World with Michelle & Scott

Episode 90 - Guilty Pleasures In this episode, Michelle and Scott discuss "Guilty Pleasures." Guilty Pleasures can be expressed in a myriad of ways. We're going to share some of our activities, products, and habits that bring us joy. Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World is a podcast hosted by Michelle Post, MA, LMFT and Scott Grossberg, Esq., CLC, CCH, NLP and is 45 minutes of raw, irreverent, and results-oriented discussion with one purpose in mind . . . to help you cope, thrive, and survive the craziness that's going on in the world. As a reminder, our “Get Your Sh*t Together” Home Retreat can be found here: http://thinkingmagically.com/retreat Replays of prior episodes can be found at: https://anchor.fm/scott-grossberg You can also join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/keepingyst Michelle Post can be reached at michelle@postinternationalinc.com http://postinternationalinc.com
 Scott Grossberg can be reached at sgrossberg@hotmail.com http://thinkingmagically.com
 © ℗ 2021 Scott Grossberg & Michelle Post. All rights reserved. "Easy Lemon (60 second)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ 
 DISCLAIMER: MICHELLE IS A THERAPIST, BUT SHE IS NOT YOUR THERAPIST. SCOTT IS AN ATTORNEY, BUT HE IS NOT YOUR ATTORNEY. THE INFORMATION AND EMAIL DISCUSSION THAT TAKES PLACE IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT LEGAL, MEDICAL, NOR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE. PARTICIPATION IN THIS PROGRAM DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT NOR THERAPIST-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP. MICHELLE AND SCOTT ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES RELATED TO ACTIONS OR FAILURES TO ACT RELATED TO ANY OF THEIR PROGRAMS OR TRAINING. IF YOU NEED SPECIFIC LEGAL, MEDICAL, OR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR HELP, CONSULT WITH A PROFESSIONAL WHO SPECIALIZES IN YOUR SUBJECT MATTER AND JURISDICTION. NEVER DISREGARD THE MEDICAL ADVICE OF A PSYCHOLOGIST, PHYSICIAN OR OTHER HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, OR DELAY IN SEEKING SUCH ADVICE, BECAUSE OF THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR RELATED TO ANY OF MICHELLE'S OR SCOTT'S PROGRAMS OR TRAININGS. 
 MICHELLE'S AND SCOTT'S PROGRAMS AND TRAINING ARE NOT SUITED FOR EVERYONE. THEY DO NOT ASSUME, AND SHALL NOT HAVE, ANY LIABILITY TO USERS FOR INJURY OR LOSS IN CONNECTION THEREWITH. THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL LIABILITY CONCERNING ANY TREATMENT OR ANY ACTION FOLLOWING THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR THROUGH ANY PROGRAM, COACHING, CONSULTING OR STRATEGIC WORK SESSION.
 #radio #podcast #anxiertyrelief #stressrelief #ShiftYourMindset #DaringGreatly #PersonalGrowth #SelfCareMatters #AnxietyAwareness #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #GrowThroughIt #YouArePowerful #wellness #selfcare #success #mindset #keepingyst #gysthr #thinkingmagically #findurmagic --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Brave Marriage Podcast
Another Look at Ephesians 5 - Ep. 138

Brave Marriage Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2021 32:14


When read in light of Aristotle's household codes, Ephesians 5 means something completely different than what we've made it mean today. If Christ is the head and collectively, we are the body and bride of Christ, what does this mean for the way we live out our faith, our family relationships, and our fellowship with the family of God? If you've learned something new here and are enjoying this series on “Marriage, Mutuality, and Gender Roles,” please leave a rating & review!Podcasting by: Kensi Duszynski, MA, LMFT, CPCEditing by: Evan Duszynski, MAMusic by: John Tibbs

ManTalks Podcast
Elizabeth Earnshaw - The Problem With Modern Relationships

ManTalks Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2021 49:35


Modern relationships face some pretty unique challenges, and sometimes it seems like those challenges are only growing. Thankfully, there are people out there like Liz Earnshaw! This was such an enjoyable discussion, and we go heavy on modern dating and marriage problems, "pathologizing" your partner, the shifting meaning of things like marriage and partnership, the need for flexibility, even the changes in gender roles. If you're with someone currently, dive in together! Over the last decade, Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT has become one of today's most trusted relationship teachers. Elizabeth is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Clinical Fellow of The American Association of Marriage & Family Therapy. She is the Head Therapist at Actually, where she is working to make relational wellness mainstream & accessible. She also owns A Better Life Therapy in Pennsylvania & New Jersey, where she supports clinicians who are helping couples every day. She trains and supervises therapists as an Approved AAMFT Supervisor. In addition to making couples therapy more accessible, she is the author of “I Want This To Work”. Elizabeth is also the host of Hash it Out on Good Risings where she offers advice to everyday relational conundrums. She is frequently asked to talk about relationships with media outlets like Mind Body Green and The Huffington Post and has been featured on numerous podcasts.  Connect with Liz -Website: https://www.elizabethearnshaw.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizlistens/ -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizlistens -Book; I Want This To Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age: https://amzn.to/3lh0T7W Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they're looking for. Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today.  Check out our Facebook Page or the Men's community. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter    Editing & Mixing by: Aaron The Tech See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

JOY IS NOW
JOY IS NOW: THESE THREE THINGS WITH WALLACE J. NICHOLS, Ph.D

JOY IS NOW

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2021 60:03


Hi Friends and welcome to JOY IS NOW! The podcast where we take a psychologically minded look at life. I'm your host Lisa Anderson Shaffer, coach, consultant, and resident psych enthusiast.I am excited to host for a THESE THREE THINGS segment discussion, marine biologist, water-lover, turtle nerd, embarrassing Dad, creator of useful words, and author of the best selling book,  BLUE MIND, Dr. Wallace J. Nichols.We talk the importance of getting in the water,  inviting others to what brings us joy, and the movement to bring psychology and ecology together to discuss climate change and mental health. Listen in, it's a good one!This has been JOY IS NOW with me, Lisa Anderson Shaffer, LMFT. You can find me for hire at LISAANDERSONSHAFFER.COM and join the patronage support for this podcast and my daily practice journal, THESE THREE THINGS at patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer. You can also follow along with my musings at @lisaandersonshaffer on Instagram.A special thanks to my affiliate friends at OSEA - the makers of clean seaweed skincare. Save 10% on your OSEA purchase with this special link and code JOYISNOW10. JOY IS NOW is listener supported. When you buy through shared links, we may earn an affiliate commission.LISA ANDERSON SHAFFER, LMFTNEWSLETTERBOOKPATRONAGEINSTAGRAMEPISODE LINKS:WALLACE NICHOLS, PH.DBLUE MINDPATREONINSTAGRAMTWITTERSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer)

One Day You'll Thank Me
S4: E5 - ENCORE Sherry Smith, LMFT & Divorce Coach, "How Mothers Can Heal After Divorce" (original release date: 9/9/20)

One Day You'll Thank Me

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2021 51:19


ENCORE EPISODE:Cast:Dr. Tara EganAnna, teenage co-hostSherry Smith, LMFT and Divorce CoachDiscussion: How can mom heal after divorce?Sherry works with women who are thinking about or are going through recovery from divorce. Many of her clients are women who are thinking about whether they want to stay in the marriage or not. She has created a model to determine if the marriage is salvageable and  supports them in their process, whether they choose to stay in the marriage or if they decide to leave, helping them to minimize the trauma to the family system. She helps women figure out who they are again, get their identity back, and fix their "picker" so the next time around they get into a relationship that sticks!1) Sherry shares with us what happens if women do not honor their grieving process and how it repeats patterns in the next marriage.2) We discussed how important it is to distinguish if you are grieving the loss of the spouse or the loss of the family unit. Many times women are often surprised on what they discover.3) Ways you can support yourself and your kids in the grieving process:4) It is important to take part in healthy coping mechanisms, kids pick up on them. Sherry shares how to sit with your own negative emotions.5) Tara share what she feels is her finest parenting moment..."The Kitten Story".6) Sherry shares how to carve a positive experience in this recovery process.7) We learn in depth about the difference between the "leaning in partner" and the "leaning out partner". How it is important to know which one you may be in terms of the ending of the relationship and grieving process.8) Anna shares her experience of going through her parents divorce.Get Sherry's new book HERETo learn more about Sherry and her services, visit her website HERE.Any questions you have for Tara? Go to www.drtaraegan.com and send us a message.Website - To learn more about Dr. Tara Egan's books, webinars, public speaking opportunities, and coaching/consultation services, Go HERE.Facebook - learn more HERE.YouTube - learn more HERE.Instagram - learn more HERE.Website - To learn more about Dr. Tara Egan's child & adolescent therapy services, visit HERE.E-Course -To learn more about Dr. Egan's online mini-course called "Managing Your Family's Technology and Social Media", created to help parents eliminate power struggles, keep your family safe from internet misuse, and reconnect with your family, go HERE.

CalPsychiatry Presents: Mindstories
Seeking Competent Support For Transgender Individuals | Susan Diane Utter, LMFT

CalPsychiatry Presents: Mindstories

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2021 25:21


Susan is super excited to walk the path to authenticity with all people, and particularly favors transgender folks. She began this journey in the late 1990's. She is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and a graduate of the WPATH Gender Education Initiative course, enabling her to work with transgender clients with traumatic events. She is the author of the book, "Permission" available on Amazon. Her YouTube channel, Susan Diane Utter offers short messages of hope and inspiration.   Permission - Susan Diane Utter ------ YouTube LinkedIn Instagram

The HSP Podcast with Julie Bjelland
Simple Self-Care for Sensitive Souls, part of the Empaths, Sensitives & Intuitives Summit

The HSP Podcast with Julie Bjelland

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2021 42:45


This interview is part of the Empaths, Sensitives & Intuitives Summit a free online event. For more information, and to register free, click here. This recording is a copyright of The Shift Network. All rights reserved. The modern world is often overwhelming and stressful for those with sensitive nervous systems. You often suffer from the challenges of sensory overload, impacting your mental health, and also your physical health. Fortunately, there are simple tools that Julie Bjelland, LMFT, will share that have helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) move from surviving into thriving, allowing you to live life to your fullest potential — because the world needs you. In this session, you'll discover: The modern world often causes sensory overload for sensitive people Solutions to the challenges of high sensitivity, including fierce self-care to stay balanced and healthy Sensitive people are needed to change the world --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/julie-bjelland/message

Polyvagal Podcast
Bad Therapy - "Get Over It" and Absolutely Awful Advice

Polyvagal Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2021 25:14


Heidi Rogers join Justin Sunseri to discuss more Bad Therapy examples. Listen to the prior episode for the entire 2 parter. Our episode on her podcast - https://www.heidirogers.com.au/blog/justin-sunseri-polyvagal-theory/ Heidi's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/heidirogers_/ Building Safety Anchors -https://www.justinlmft.com/bsa Polyvagal 101 Class - https://www.justinlmft.com/PVT101 Become a $5 Patron - https://www.patreon.com/justinlmft Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for emergency This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health sx. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World with Michelle & Scott

Episode 89 - Get Control of Your Anxiety In this episode, Michelle and Scott talk about anxiety and how best to address and resolve it. Imagine a life with less worry and stress! If that appeals to you, this show is for you. Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World is a podcast hosted by Michelle Post, MA, LMFT and Scott Grossberg, Esq., CLC, CCH, NLP and is 45 minutes of raw, irreverent, and results-oriented discussion with one purpose in mind . . . to help you cope, thrive, and survive the craziness that's going on in the world. As a reminder, our “Get Your Sh*t Together” Home Retreat can be found here: http://thinkingmagically.com/retreat Replays of prior episodes can be found at: https://anchor.fm/scott-grossberg You can also join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/keepingyst/ Michelle Post can be reached at michelle@postinternationalinc.com http://postinternationalinc.com
 Scott Grossberg can be reached at sgrossberg@hotmail.com http://thinkingmagically.com
 © ℗ 2021 Scott Grossberg & Michelle Post. All rights reserved. "Easy Lemon (60 second)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ 
 DISCLAIMER: MICHELLE IS A THERAPIST, BUT SHE IS NOT YOUR THERAPIST. SCOTT IS AN ATTORNEY, BUT HE IS NOT YOUR ATTORNEY. THE INFORMATION AND EMAIL DISCUSSION THAT TAKES PLACE IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT LEGAL, MEDICAL, NOR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE. PARTICIPATION IN THIS PROGRAM DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT NOR THERAPIST-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP. MICHELLE AND SCOTT ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES RELATED TO ACTIONS OR FAILURES TO ACT RELATED TO ANY OF THEIR PROGRAMS OR TRAINING. IF YOU NEED SPECIFIC LEGAL, MEDICAL, OR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR HELP, CONSULT WITH A PROFESSIONAL WHO SPECIALIZES IN YOUR SUBJECT MATTER AND JURISDICTION. NEVER DISREGARD THE MEDICAL ADVICE OF A PSYCHOLOGIST, PHYSICIAN OR OTHER HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, OR DELAY IN SEEKING SUCH ADVICE, BECAUSE OF THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR RELATED TO ANY OF MICHELLE'S OR SCOTT'S PROGRAMS OR TRAININGS. 
 MICHELLE'S AND SCOTT'S PROGRAMS AND TRAINING ARE NOT SUITED FOR EVERYONE. THEY DO NOT ASSUME, AND SHALL NOT HAVE, ANY LIABILITY TO USERS FOR INJURY OR LOSS IN CONNECTION THEREWITH. THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL LIABILITY CONCERNING ANY TREATMENT OR ANY ACTION FOLLOWING THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR THROUGH ANY PROGRAM, COACHING, CONSULTING OR STRATEGIC WORK SESSION.
 #radio #podcast #anxiertyrelief #stressrelief #ShiftYourMindset #DaringGreatly #PersonalGrowth #SelfCareMatters #AnxietyAwareness #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #GrowThroughIt #YouArePowerful #wellness #selfcare #success #mindset #keepingyst #gysthr #thinkingmagically #findurmagic --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The Modern Therapist's Survival Guide with Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy

Peer Support Specialists An interview with Kemisha Fields, MSW, Amparo Ostojic, MPA, and Jeff Kashou, LMFT on what peer support specialists are and the value they bring to treatment teams, as well as the challenges and best practices in implementing these roles into clinical programs. Curt and Katie talk with Kemisha and Amparo about their experiences in these positions, exploring how their lived experiences created the successful integration of a more holistic approach to support clients. We also talked with Jeff about his journey in implementing one of these programs from scratch.   It's time to reimagine therapy and what it means to be a therapist. To support you as a whole person and a therapist, your hosts, Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy talk about how to approach the role of therapist in the modern age. Interview with Kemisha Fields, MSW, Amparo Ostojic, MPA, and Jeff Kashou, LMFT Kemisha Fields, MSW: Kemisha Fields was born and raised in South Los Angeles, CA. As a former foster youth, she has taken a professional interest in the commitment to serving the needs of children and families as a Children's Social Worker working in Dependency Investigations. She has studied many modalities to bring healing to those in need. Kemisha is a life, long learner inspired by the abundance of opportunities available to enrich the lives of the people she serves. She earned her Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology from the University of Phoenix. She received her Master of Social Work degree from the University of Southern California. Currently, Kemisha is a Doctoral Student of Business Administration with an emphasis in organizational leadership. She has extensive experience working with children, families, and individuals as an agent of support and guidance. Kemisha has a strong background in case management for an array of populations inclusive to at-risk youth, individuals with intellectual disabilities, commercially sexual exploited children, victims of trauma, and families within the dependency system. As a lead Dependency Investigator with Los Angeles County Child and Family Services, she has direct practice with assessing for child abuse and neglect in hostile environments. Kemisha works directly with County Counsel to investigate and sustain infractions of the Child Welfare and Institutions Codes. Jeff Kashou, LMFT: Jeff Kashou, LMFT is a manager of clinical product and service design for a mental health tech company that provides telemedicine to those with serious mental illness. Previously, he ran a county mental health program where he helped develop the role fo peers for adolescent programs county-wide and collaborated with peers to create management practices to support their professional development. In this position, Jeff developed a practice guideline for the utilization of peers in behavioral health settings for the County of Orange. Jeff has also served on the Board of Directors for the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, where he helped lead the association to support the field of Marriage and Family Therapy and those with mental health issues. He consults as experts in mental health for television productions, to ensure the accurate and helpful portrayal of mental illness and treatment in the media. Most recently, Jeff and his wife Sheila wrote a children's book, The Proudest Color, that helps children of color cope with racism that will be on shelves this Fall. Amparo Ostojic, MPA: Amparo Ostojic is a mental health advocate with personal lived experience. After working for the federal government for ten years, she decided to pursue her passion in working as an advocate to help promote recovery in mental health.  She has worked as a peer specialist for a mental health clinic as well as volunteered leading peer support groups. Amparo has a close connection with the Latino Community and feels it is her duty to do everything possible to prevent and reduce the suffering of individuals living with a mental health condition. Amparo created a Spanish speaking support group in East Los Angeles to offer free peer support to members of her community. Amparo has a bachelor's in business administration and a Master of Public administration. Amparo is a certified personal medicine coach and is working on becoming a National Certified Peer Specialist (NCPS). In this episode we talk about: What a peer support specialist is, how they work What peers can uniquely bring The hiring process, qualifications, and what that means for individuals seeking these jobs The difference in perspective that peer and parent partners can bring to treatment teams The importance of lived experience Comparing holistic versus medical model treatment The medical model and the recovery model complement each other The importance of advocacy for individuals (with the support of the peer support specialist) How peer support specialists are best integrated into treatment teams and programs The potential problems when the peer support specialist role is not understood How someone can become a Peer Support Specialist Certification and standardization of the peer support specialist role SB803 – CA certification for Peer Support Specialists Legislation Ideal training for these professionals How best to collaborate with a peer support specialist What it is like to implement one of these programs The challenges of hiring a peer support specialist Exploring whether there are systems in place to support peer support specialists with their unique needs The recommendation for a tool kit and a consultant to support programs in implementing best practices The Recovery Model and peer support specialists in practice Multidisciplinary teams may have pre-existing bias and prejudice against folks with lived experience, the role of stigma in the interactions The shift that happens when peers become part of the team (specifically related to gallows humor and the separation of “patients” and “providers”) Demonstrating the value of this role and the use of the recovery model Prevention and Early Intervention How to be successful with peer support programs and the benefits at many different levels Our Generous Sponsor: Trauma Therapist Network Trauma is highly prevalent in mental health client populations and people are looking for therapists with specialized training and experience in trauma, but they often don't know where to start. If you've ever looked for a trauma therapist, you know it can be hard to discern who knows what and whether or not they're the right fit for you. There are so many types of trauma and so many different ways to heal. That's why Laura Reagan, LCSW-C created Trauma Therapist Network.  Trauma Therapist Network is a new resource for anyone who wants to learn about trauma and how it shows up in our lives. This new site has articles, resources and podcasts for learning about trauma and its effects, as well as a directory exclusively for trauma therapists to let people know how they work and what they specialize in, so potential clients can find them. Trauma Therapist Network therapist profiles include the types of trauma specialized in, populations served and therapy methods used, making it easier for potential clients to find the right therapist who can help them.  The Network is more than a directory, though. It's a community. All members are invited to attend community meetings to connect, consult and network with colleagues around the country. Join our growing community of trauma therapists and get 20% off your first month using the promo code:  MTSG20 at www.traumatherapistnetwork.com.   Resources mentioned: We've pulled together resources mentioned in this episode and put together some handy-dandy links. Please note that some of the links below may be affiliate links, so if you purchase after clicking below, we may get a little bit of cash in our pockets. We thank you in advance! RAND Report: How to Transform the US Mental Health System Los Angeles Times Op-Ed: Our mental health laws are failing Wise U Training for Peers Advocacy through Cal Voices ACCESS Program SB-803 National Certified Peer Specialist NCPS Excellent guides and toolkits on how to integrate peers in clinics: Association of Home Social Rehabilitation Agencies Meaningful Roles for Peer Providers in Integrated Healthcare Toolkit Philadelphia Peer Support Tool Kit   Relevant Episodes: Fixing Mental Healthcare in America Serious Mental Illness and Homelessness Psychiatric Crises in the Emergency Room Advocacy in the Wake of Looming Mental Healthcare Work Force Shortages   Connect with us! Our Facebook Group – The Modern Therapists Group  Our consultation services: The Fifty-Minute Hour Who we are: Curt Widhalm is in private practice in the Los Angeles area. He is the cofounder of the Therapy Reimagined conference, an Adjunct Professor at Pepperdine University and CSUN, a former Subject Matter Expert for the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, former CFO of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and a loving husband and father. He is 1/2 great person, 1/2 provocateur, and 1/2 geek, in that order. He dabbles in the dark art of making "dad jokes" and usually has a half-empty cup of coffee somewhere nearby. Learn more at: www.curtwidhalm.com Katie Vernoy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, coach, and consultant supporting leaders, visionaries, executives, and helping professionals to create sustainable careers. Katie, with Curt, has developed workshops and a conference, Therapy Reimagined, to support therapists navigating through the modern challenges of this profession. Katie is also a former President of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In her spare time, Katie is secretly siphoning off Curt's youthful energy, so that she can take over the world. Learn more at: www.katievernoy.com A Quick Note: Our opinions are our own. We are only speaking for ourselves – except when we speak for each other, or over each other. We're working on it. Our guests are also only speaking for themselves and have their own opinions. We aren't trying to take their voice, and no one speaks for us either. Mostly because they don't want to, but hey.   Stay in Touch: www.mtsgpodcast.com www.therapyreimagined.com Our Facebook Group – The Modern Therapist's Group https://www.facebook.com/therapyreimagined/ https://twitter.com/therapymovement https://www.instagram.com/therapyreimagined/   Credits: Voice Over by DW McCann https://www.facebook.com/McCannDW/ Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano http://www.crystalmangano.com/   Transcript (Autogenerated)   Curt Widhalm  00:00 This episode is sponsored by Trauma Therapist Network.   Katie Vernoy  00:04 Trauma therapist network is a new resource for anyone who wants to learn about trauma and how it shows up in our lives. This new site has articles, resources and podcasts for learning about trauma and its effects, as well as a directory exclusively for trauma therapists to let people know how they work, and what they specialize in so potential clients can find them. Visit traumatherapistnetwork.com To learn more,   Curt Widhalm  00:27 listen at the end of the episode for more about the trauma therapist network.   Announcer  00:31 You're listening to the Modern Therapist Survival Guide, where therapists live, breathe and practice as human beings to support you as a whole person and a therapist. Here are your hosts, Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy.   Curt Widhalm  00:47 Welcome back modern therapists. This is the modern therapist Survival Guide. I'm Curt Widhalm with Katie Vernoy. And this is part four of our special series of fixing mental health care in America. And today, we are shining a spotlight on peer support specialists and the role that they have in our behavioral health care system. And a lot of the advantages that these kinds of roles bring in, as well as some of the difficulties of getting peer support implemented despite a lot of very positive evidence in their role in treating mental and emotional disorders that happen in our world.   Katie Vernoy  01:27 I'm really excited about this particular episode, we've got two sections. The first one is we're joined by two folks who've worked in the peer support specialist role who are both still in social work and in advocacy. First off, we've got Kemisha Fields, who's a Master of Social Work who is was actually somebody I worked with, and she did a great job in one of the programs I was running. And then also person I was introduced to by one of our amazing friends of the show on Amparo Ostojic, who is an MPA and also someone who works in advocacy specifically about peer support specialists. So I'm really, really looking forward for all of you to listen to that and learn about what that role is. And we recognized also and I, I had a little bit of this, but Jeff Kashou LMFT is someone who has in the past actually implemented one of these programs, and he was able to talk with us about what it was like as a director, putting those things together. So take a listen.   Kemisha Fields  02:30 So my name is Kemisha Fields. I enter social services call for like 17 years ago, I took a entry level position at a homeless shelter. So that was my entry into social services. And from there, I've just kind of progress and work my way up. And I've worked with different populations. So I've worked with the homeless population. I've worked with individuals who are struggling with substance abuse. I worked in recidivism. I've worked in community mental health, and now I'm working in the child welfare system.   Amparo Ostojic  03:10 So my name is Amparo Ostojic. And I've been in mental health advocacy and peer support. For the last four years, I have worked to increase awareness about mental health, especially in the Latino community. And I worked as a peer support specialist for a mental health clinic for about seven months, I currently still do advocacy in the mental health space. And I work with individuals that want to know more about how to live, a quote unquote, normal life, even with my severe mental health condition.   Curt Widhalm  03:50 A lot of mental health clinicians, they may have heard of a peer specialist. I have found that a lot of my travels and talks in therapist communities that many people don't know what a peer specialist does, can you help us understand what a peer specialist does what their role is in the bigger part of the treatment systems.   Amparo Ostojic  04:13 So a peer specialist is basically a role model of positive recovery behaviors. So it's meant to give hope to someone living with a mental health condition and help them not feel as alone in this recovery process. So, in essence, a pure specialist will share their personal lived experience of mental health and oftentimes offer examples of what it's like to deal with a condition. And you know, what they've done to get better, such as tips or a really useful tool is, for example, the living successfully plan or the wrap plans, where you go over with a client what it is like to be in a healthy space, what it's like to see warning signs, and when it's time to call your psychiatrist or go to the hospital. So kind of teach them about themselves and guide them in their self determination of managing their their health condition.   Katie Vernoy  05:17 So you're really talking about from a place of your own experience and knowledge helping someone to plan for themselves,   Amparo Ostojic  05:26 right. And a lot of it is teaching them to self advocate for themselves, and put themselves in the driver's seat of their health condition. So for example, a lot of times, it's kind of directed from the top as if the psychiatrist or therapist is telling them what to do, or kind of teaching them what they should do. Whereas if your specialist is on the same level, and there's no sort of hierarchy of who knows more, there's a relationship of learning from each other, and really sharing what it's like to live through this. I was given the example where it's like, Is it someone that you want to work with, like someone that's like a biologist that knows about like the forest or something or someone that lives in the forest, because that personal lived experience is really key to understanding things that someone else that hasn't experienced them wouldn't really know, or perhaps hasn't dealt with.   Curt Widhalm  06:26 When you started in this, you started as a parent partner, how was that process of getting hired?   Kemisha Fields  06:34 So the qualification for a peer partner or parent partner would be a life experience in one of the systems of DCFS, Department of Children and Family Services, probation, and I believe education, like do individual education plan. And so my entry into being a parent partner was through my son's IEP, Individual Education Plan. And, you know, it just kind of happened by chance, a friend of mine recommended me for the position and I follow through with it, the interview process, or the application process, they I was asked what my qualification to being a parent partner, so I did have to disclose some important information regarding my own experiences with my son. And we just, I remember asking, like, anybody could have kind of said, like, oh, yeah, I have this child that has a special needs, like, how did they confirm that information? So I was looking for them to kind of want some sort of documentation from me, and they didn't. And so, at the time, the executive director says, usually confirmed based on the series of questions they asked me during the interview about different programs that may have been introduced to, to my son, which I found quite interesting, like, Okay,   Katie Vernoy  08:07 how was it for you to disclose personal things to get a job, because that seems like that would be a pretty vulnerable way to enter into a position.   Kemisha Fields  08:19 Very much so and because it's the opposite of what we've always been told, typically, in interviewing process, you don't share too much personal information, just your professional history. So it was a little different. But I always been transparent with my struggles with my son. So it was it was just a little different in I didn't know this person, but it was okay. I you know, I feel comfortable through the process. And I didn't, it was okay for me to, you know, share my experiences. Being a parent of a special needs child.   Curt Widhalm  09:01 I have to imagine, and this is prior to being hired in this position. Did you have somebody serving in that kind of a role for you, somebody that you relied on while you were going through your child's IEP process and all of the struggles that that usually entails?   Kemisha Fields  09:19 That is... I love that question. I absolutely love that question and Yes, but very informal. So I did not have a formal being like, Whoa, this is your parent partner, and she or he's going to help you through this process. What I have was professionals who kind of just stepped up I had one of the very first school psychologists who helped me through the process of my son's assessment, what to look for what questions that I should ask and she helped me not on a professional level but a personal level. She kind of walked me through that process. So I was grateful for that. So I've had a lot of support with my son, just from individuals who cared enough to show me what this looks like and what questions I should be asking. So I appreciate that.   Curt Widhalm  10:20 I have to imagine that working with the mental health systems, the people in those roles, there has to be some difficulties in getting integrated into the more professional sides of the organizations, what kinds of challenges to peer specialists end up having, trying to help clients be able to advocate for themselves and fit into this professional system as well.   Amparo Ostojic  10:45 The professionals, such a psychiatrist, therapist, they usually operate from the medical model, which is very top down, like I mentioned, and it kind of has this perspective that I no more in teaching the patient how to, you know, work with medications, or live with this condition, where as peer specialists work from the recovery model, that look at everything, the main four points are home, community health, and purpose, that's really important, like your reason to get up in the morning, right? That sometimes the recovery model is not taking us seriously, it's a more kind of holistic approach, looking at the person. And in the medical model, you're looking at the condition like it's a problem to be solved. And I'm looking at the person as the whole and how their whole life could be better. So my focus may be different than a psychiatrist, their focus may be to reduce the symptoms, and let's say get rid of hearing voices, things like that, or as my role is really to make that person as a whole better. So for example, I usually medications is a big thing must take medications, or as my role may not necessarily say that I typically never tell the client, you know, don't take medications, but I really allow the client to the side that and some other parts of the medical team may not like that. But also, my role may not be taken as seriously because, for example, in my experience working with a mental health clinic, they worked with people that were homeless, and I would say extreme cases. So as someone with bipolar disorder, they kind of put me in this category that, you know, I probably couldn't offer as much. And my perspective wasn't as valuable. So it was really hard. Working with therapists or psychiatrist that saw me as someone that was in the space of like, part of the problem. I don't know how to describe it. But it was really hard, because at the beginning, I definitely felt like I wasn't taking seriously. And it took a while to gain trust, and get there super for me clients. And those were one of the challenges,   Curt Widhalm  13:01 I have to imagine some of the providers are like, you're just completely undermining all of the treatment by using trust, none of this professional experience that we've learned. How did those conversations go? Because it seems like so much of a treatment plan would be developed from, you know, the scientific and medical model sorts of approaches. And then for somebody to come in with lived experience to be able to be like, maybe the medication thing is something that you want to talk to your doctor about.   Amparo Ostojic  13:33 Well, I take medication, and there was five years that I didn't from when I was 20 to 26. And I was fine. I think, you know, I used to run marathons, I was super fit. And there was a time that I didn't think I needed medication. But then having more episodes, I realized that it does benefit me. So I never really tell a client, don't take medication. But I'm not as I guess pushy into that they may need I needed something to happen for me to sort of learn my lesson and realize, you know, it's it's easier, my life is a little easier with medication. And that may not be the case for everybody. So I definitely don't think they see it as me undermining them. But the recovery model and the medical model are supposed to complement each other. And I think that's the hesitation at the beginning. There's no better treatment or a they say they're supposed to complement each other and offer a level of understanding and acceptance and validation that sometimes the professionals can't offer because they haven't lived through that. So for the most part, I'm never, you know, moving them away from medication or therapy and validating their experience but perhaps they may tell me, you know, I didn't like my psychiatrist. And this is what happened. And I will be honest and say I've had psychiatrist that didn't work with me and didn't work for me. And I had to find a different one. Or I had to advocate for myself and say, you know, this side effect is, is not working for me, you know, maybe this is working, like, the symptoms are, you know, improving. But, you know, it's, it's making me sleepy, and then I can't get to work on time, things that are important that sometimes I think clients are afraid to say, because, you know, like, the main symptom that they're after is maybe under control. But other aspects of your life have completely lost balance now.   Katie Vernoy  15:42 Yeah, I think for me, and I was that person at one point. So   Kemisha Fields  15:46 You were!   Katie Vernoy  15:48 But I think the thing that felt very powerful when I entered into that program, and saw how it was set up was that the team had set up this structure to make sure that each member at the table was heard that each person was allowed to share ideas. I had been in other programs where folks were subjected to that hierarchy, where the therapist or the psychiatrist got the most air time, they're the ones that were making the decisions. And to me, I think, whether it was making sure that the parent partners were supervised by the director, and or really having a culture of, we are all here supporting the family. And we all equally bring important things to the table, I think it was really effective. I think we just get worried because I did see even with programs that were and maybe it was because it was intense now that I'm thinking about it, because like less intense programs, sometimes folks were using either parent partners or bachelor level providers to do like, copying and filing. And it's like, no, no, these are mental health providers, these are people who are at the table. And so to me, I think when when people are able to integrate into the team, it can be really good.   Kemisha Fields  17:05 My personality type wouldn't have allow for that, if I'm honest. Like no. And I think when you come in and you kind of demand a level of respect, you get that level of respect. So I've never had a problem, I think, in my whole career of value, my experience as a parent partner, it laid the foundation for so much of the work that I do now. So I'm still connected to a lot of those colleagues, who at the time were clinicians and I, at that time, I wasn't even I had not completed my undergrad studies yet. And we're like the best of friends. So my experience as a parent partner is one that is really great. And had you know, a lot of good things have come out of that for me,   Curt Widhalm  17:59 I want to change the conversation here a little bit to talking about how people can become peer specialists and what the certification process is like. And I understand that that's quite different in many different parts of the country.   Amparo Ostojic  18:15 Yeah, and even within California, each county has different guidelines. So first of all, California just passed SB 803, which is going to allow pure support specialists to have a certification, which will hopefully increase the use of peer specialists in mental health clinics. So 48 states now have peer certification, including California. And the, the principles are pretty much the same. But how a peer support is used in different parts of a state or country is going to vary. So it's difficult if someone moves to another state or another county, and they try to use the same principles. It may not work as effectively. And it's basically it's not standardized right now. So it's hard for someone working in that field to have many options of going to different places, and even like a client that's moving from another county and experiencing pure services in a different way.   Katie Vernoy  19:26 So if someone were to want to jump into this, where it sounds like it's starting to become more regulated, there's certification in 48 states, that's great. What does it look like? How does someone become a peer support specialist?   Amparo Ostojic  19:39 There's a few organizations that are considered certified to train for peer support. And, for example, the training that I took was an 11 day course, where, you know, like 40 hours a week, and you learn the principles of peer support. And then To become a certified peer specialist, you need 3000 hours of supervised work or volunteer experience providing direct peer support. And you need a letter of recommendation from a professional and from supervisor that has overseen your peer support. And then there's an exam that you would take and pass. And that's how you would become national certified peer specialist. And on top of that, like I said, California is still in the process of creating their peer support guidelines. So in addition to that, you know, whatever guidelines that they'll come up with will be the California guidelines for certification in California,   Curt Widhalm  20:45 a lot of research gives you more credit than being a middleman, that when we look at outcomes for treatments, when we look at treatment, we see that peer counselors, we see that parent partners are more effective towards client outcomes than even just working directly with licensed professionals. And a lot of it is due to a lot of the problems that therapists just kind of face and being approachable themselves for the mental health system themselves that there is a down to earth Ness that having that lived experience really does embody that, yes, you can get through this. And I've got some experience to be able to say that not only do I actually demonstrate that I know what you're going through, but that you can get through it, there's a way through this, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. How do you think that peer partners, peer counselors can be trained should be trained to best exemplify that part of treatment,   Kemisha Fields  21:51 I would say they should be trained the same way that any other team members trained in I know, from a clinical perspective, there's a different type of training that comes into play. But for our child and family team specialists that you know, we have trainings, usually agencies are sending you out to different trainings, and I I believe that parent partners should be a part of those trainings, if they are not already a part of those trainings. And that should and will help them in their role as a parent partner with the life experience on top of that,   Katie Vernoy  22:32 how can therapists psychiatrists, other people in mental health clinics, support peer specialists?   Amparo Ostojic  22:38 one of the most important parts is understanding and learning to see how we can be used. I think, once you collaborate with a peer specialist, and notice the different perspective that they offer, I think both psychiatrists and peers, and mental health professionals, other mental health professionals can learn from each other. And I really appreciated that with one of the psychiatrist that he like, I could see that he really learned from me, and that gave me a lot of confidence. And I learned a lot from him. And it didn't feel like a top down relationship. And it really felt like he valued my perspective as a professional. And that helped a lot because basically just have faith in in something even if you don't understand how it works. You want to try and see how you can work with this person and encourage them to do actual peer support. If at first you don't know what to do as far as how to work with them. There's really good guides. There's one that I really recommend, that is put out by Castro. And they are basically recovery organization. And they have it's called the meaningful roles for providers in an integrative healthcare. And they really break down the different positions that peer specialists could do the different roles so like a peer navigator peer advocate, wellbeing coach is sometimes what they call it. And it really spells out things that a peer specialists can do. And it helps both the pure and the professional because they will say, you know, they could serve as a bridge between the community based organization, they could help clients in enrolling with health insurance programs, they it really spells out things that a client can do with a pure specialist, and that helps both the pier and the clinic.   Katie Vernoy  24:53 How about letting us know a little bit about if someone's interested in this I think from many different angles I wanting to advocate for better utilization of peer support specialists within mental health programs advocating for swift implementation of SB 803. For California, you know, or even this advocacy for individuals who are navigating mental health concerns themselves or with their family members, and how they can advocate like, it seems like there's a lot of lot of potential calls to action for our listeners here. What resources would you recommend that they look into, and we'll put all of those in our show notes.   Amparo Ostojic  25:33 So definitely the I would guess, I guess, I would say, one of my favorite organizations that I worked with for the past two and a half years is Cal voices. And they have different programs, the advocacy space, is access. So access stands for advancing client and community empowerment through sustainable solutions. So they're kind of a systems change perspective. And they have really great e learning toolkits that give you tools on how you would advocate for yourself and for systems change within your community. One of the great resources that Cal voices has is their Ys program, which stands for workforce integration, support and education. And they have what they call the YZ University. And it's created by peers, it's taught by peers. And this is where I got my training for becoming a peer support specialist. And they basically provide a lot of support in what a peer does. And like they have wise Wednesdays, where they provide information about something related to peer support and learning about how to, you know, either be a peer specialist or work with a peer specialist. And that's everyone's they. And so, it's a great program, because like I said, it's peers that are teaching and creating the curriculum. And I think that's just wonderful because receiving that information for someone with the lived experience is very powerful.   Curt Widhalm  27:21 Switching gears here and talking about the implementation of peer support specialists, here's our interview with Jeff Kashou. We are joined by Jeff Kashou, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. He's a former Service chief who oversaw collaborative behavioral health program in Orange County, and had opportunities to oversee the implementations of peer counselors into some of the programs.   Jeff Kashou  27:51 Yeah, well, first off, thank you for having me on. And I'm very much appreciated that you guys have this podcast and give the opportunity for topics like this to be covered.   Katie Vernoy  27:59 The thing that I find very interesting about these roles that I know you and I both have hired these roles, but people have to claim lived experience in order to get these roles. And so it's it's a very interesting line to walk. There's there's very interesting things there. But what do you see as the difficulties that are associated with hiring peer counselors?   Jeff Kashou  28:20 Yeah, so I think, very specifically, what makes the role unique and special also makes it kind of a unique challenge in the interviewing process? How do you ask about one's lived experience as a direct, you know, in theory qualification to have that job is what makes it a unique role to a to an organization or an agency. So I would, you know, really encourage anybody who is looking to start a peer program to bring on a consultant who can really help you think the process all the way through and how to have those conversations without inadvertently walking into equal opportunity ramifications or accidently discriminating against someone while also being very mindful that you're bringing into the room into the interview room and process someone's vulnerabilities. And so being able to manage that very tactfully and professionally, while also ensuring that this person, you know, feels comfortable to share that as well. That's your first introduction to somebody and they're interviewing you in that, that process and they want to ensure that your program has really thought through how they're going to be not just added to their system of care, but how your entire system of care embraces and is made better by having peers on board. Oftentimes peers are looked at as very client facing but really in the best situations for them are those for the entire service model is made better by their presence.   Curt Widhalm  29:48 A lot of the talk that we've had on this show about how programs barely take care of their mental health professionals within the work systems. Is there any management that is actually being put towards looking after peer counselors in this way without infantilizing them. I mean, if we're not doing this with the brunt of the behavioral health health workforce, are there other implementation problems when it comes to ensuring this kind of stuff or incorporating them into treatment teams,   Jeff Kashou  30:19 when I created a practice guidelines of like best practices for the entire Orange County systems, and not just County, but the entire behavioral health system for how to conduct supervision with peers, I leaned very heavily on a toolkit that I found from the city of Philadelphia, that there Department of Behavioral Health and intellectual disability services put together on how to create a peer support system, from the first moment you decide you want to all the way through to supervising them to managing disciplinary things to supporting their growth. And looking at it even from you know, how is the entire system set up to support them, even the interactions that they have within the multidisciplinary team, you know, they face an additional layer of potentially of scrutiny or challenges by constantly having to explain who they are, why they have any authority to work with patients or clients. So there's, there's added stress to the question or the systems in place to actually take care of them. You know, I would really look at that toolkit that the city of Philadelphia put together as sort of a way to evaluate if your system is there, I'd say, it's certainly lacking just to be completely blunt, the county that I worked for, from the children's behavioral health side was not equipped at the time to take them on effectively. And it required a lot of having to build the plane while you fly it, which I think for some roles, it's okay. I think for peers, it can add additional stress. And it means, you know, workplace ambiguity is stressful enough. But when it comes to all the other challenges of integrating them and supporting them and explaining their role, and giving them the right training, and so on, and so on. There's just another level that needs to be thought all the way through.   Curt Widhalm  32:11 How are pure counselors implemented into treatment teams, and how are their voices in actual practice, kind of placed into the role where there's a bunch of other potential licensed professionals across a wide variety of interdisciplinary systems?   Jeff Kashou  32:30 Yeah, so I can speak to my experience, and then also kind of broadly to and the research that I've done on the topic. So it's often implemented as a top down approach, it's, you know, people in leadership, saying, we're gonna add this program to our larger organization, without ever really embracing maybe the full scope of what it means to engage in a recovery service model, which is really antithetical to the principles of the peer program, you know, which is meeting people where they're at. So a system of care, really understanding from the bottom up what's happening on the ground level, that's really where the entire program began with. But the ways that they're being implemented, we have that additive approach that systems of care will take. And from a very top down perspective, oftentimes, systems need a way to recoup revenue by bringing on this workforce and, you know, supporting the work that they do. And so when it comes to Medicaid, for example, it's involving them in the billing system. So it requires choosing a diagnosis for the person from the list that the other providers have diagnosed the individual with, which is sometimes very new and a bit challenging. I think, sometimes for peers who don't want to necessarily see someone as a diagnosis. But you know, our current system of billing practices and documentation practices requires that also, multidisciplinary teams really don't know about peers, and can have a lot of prejudice as they go in. So systems need to really be thoughtful and do a self assessment before they decide to bring on this very important role, you know, on are this system set up? Or what are the prejudices or preconceived notions that other providers on the team have of people that come in with lived experience? Right, you know, oftentimes, we have that sort of gallows humor as providers when we talk about our patients or whatever. But, you know, now you have to be very mindful of that, not just because you don't want to upset somebody, but due to having that internal shift of like, you know, I actually really maybe need to check myself when it comes to that, and why I engaged in something like that in the first place. So really thinking about decreasing the stigma and helping the rest of the team even before peers come on, understand what it is that they do, the value that they add, and how they're going to be just as important of a member of a treatment team. So really leading with the why through this process. They're often brought a board you know without much structure I Which, you know, leads to them being assigned a lot of admin tasks as well. One of the things that I learned a lot when working with pure forums was that peers are often assigned, you know, a lot of filing tasks or, you know, paperwork kind of tasks, because the program wasn't really trained or made to be aware of what appear is going to do. And so managers will get, you know, assigned X amount of peers and hire them on but not really know what to do or may not have the bandwidth to train them and think through that whole job requirement. Similarly, what I experienced was, sadly, even partway through the interview process, we found out that we were actually interviewing for peers, but the program was set up, they had to find a job title or job classification that they could fit these folks within, so that we can hire them in a timely manner. And so when we were hiring mental health workers were actually supposed to be hiring peers. And so we found out midway, that we were hiring peers, which meant as managers, then we had to shift and reevaluate what we were doing which we put a lot of emphasis and fervor and figuring out and making it a smooth process as much as we could. But it was by no means ideal. And the cohort that we hired, certainly struggled with a lot of the ambiguity and sometimes just having to sit around and wait while we figured things out for them.   Katie Vernoy  36:16 You've mentioned a couple of times the the money element of it, that oftentimes these are folks who are hired to do an important service that isn't always reimbursable. And it makes me think about the value. And this speaks to the prejudice as well. But it makes me think of the value that people hold for this role. You know, they're not generating revenue, typically, or not generating a lot of revenue. They're not seen as experts, although they're oftentimes more expert than the folks in the room that are doing the treatment planning. And so what are the ways that you have found whether it's best practices or what you were able to accomplish in your program, of integrating these folks more successfully into, you know, kind of explaining the role? Like, why is it so important? What is the value of this? Because I feel like, and maybe you've already said this, and maybe this isn't needed, but it does feel like there's a case for this role. There's an importance to this role. And I just feel like maybe we need to be more direct and saying it, I don't know.   Jeff Kashou  37:25 So yeah, so there's really two directions to think of when it comes to how do you demonstrate the value, there's two those who would be, you know, deciding to bring on this role, which would be those key stakeholders. And then you also have the provider teams as well. And then I guess, there might even be a third group, which are the patients or clientele that you would be serving. So when it comes to demonstrating the value, I think the message needs to be pretty clear all the way through, which is when you're working with, you know, with individuals with serious mental illness, or those with CO occurring disorders, some of these more serious conditions, we know we preach about prevention and early intervention. And this is the rule that really helps with that. And this is the rule that allows us to make that big shift towards a recovery model, and not just pay lip service to saying that, you know, we meet our patients where they're at, and, you know, we want to, you know, improve the quality of their lives and help them reach their full potential. Now, that's, you know, a bit more idealistic and trying to sell it maybe to those that population level into the stakeholder level, but to the provider team, it's also a matter of, you know, recognizing that they will complement the services that, say, a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist provides as well. And so it's more of like a meshing of gears versus like, people running off into separate directions, you know, where we know that metod here, it's a very important thing. Medications is a very important aspect of treatment. And if individuals, you know, go to their psychiatrist and they prescribe them an antidepressant, we oftentimes know that adherence drops off very quickly, either because the person has some sort of side effects, or because they start to feel better, and they decide they don't want to take the medication anymore. What you know, for multitude of reasons, here, the peer can actually meet with that person, you know, right after they meet with a psychiatrist, or maybe even be in the room with them when they meet with a psychiatrist. And help them ask the questions that are there might be uncomfortable asking, or ensure that they're asking the questions they didn't think to ask, creating that plan afterwards with them for how they're going to fill the prescription, how they're going to, you know, lay out their medications for the week, how they're going to make sure they maintain their motivation to take it or communicate changes that they need with their medications. When it comes to treatment adherence, you know, we assign individuals journaling to do for example, but I don't know about you guys and how often we assign tasks to to patients to do in between sessions, it's extremely hit or miss. And then you end up spending your next session processing, why they didn't do it when you'd rather be processing what they did. And so it's not to say it's 100%. But a specialist can really help with complementing services in those ways. I think ideally, we know that there's attrition, oftentimes with this population. So here's how we keep people engaged in care. I think the other thing is we think about completing goals or completing treatment plans. But that's not really the case. Again, it's not like that broken leg where your leg gets mended, and you don't have to really do anything afterwards, you have to maintain those gains for the long term to allow you then to get to those next levels of functioning, or satisfaction or fulfillment, whatever they might be. And that's where the period specialists can help somebody in the sort of aftercare discharge planning or even long, long term support through their maintenance of their goals.   Katie Vernoy  40:56 I think another element for the treatment team, and this is something where, you know, we had the conversation with Kemisha about this, but they're also an expert on the lived experience. I mean, obviously, each person's experience is different. But there's so much that I think my treatment teams anyway, we're learning from our peers, because they just hadn't been in the situation themselves. And so I think there's, there's also incorporating in that way, like here is another member of the team who has really valuable and valid feedback that you need provider. Because I think it's I think it's hard, I think it's hard to understand this. And I think that we've hidden behind a hierarchy that clearly doesn't work, we need to have, we need to have a whole bunch of human beings working on this on a level playing field.   Jeff Kashou  41:47 Yeah, I'm really glad you brought that point up, Katie, I remember, and you guys probably had to do this in your grad programs as well, where we were assigned the task of attending a 12 step meeting to understand what the recovery community is like. And we can see what these you know, non therapeutic support systems are like, and it's a way to get that experience. But we were only assigned that at one point in time, and there is so much value that appear can add in terms of to use your your point expertise in these areas, you know, the approach, I think a lot of us take in the recovery systems, you know, I will get asked oftentimes, you know, well, are you in recovery yourself? And I think as a therapist, you make your own call in terms of self disclosure. And I would say the while I can tell you yes or no, it's more important for you to tell me what your experience is like, rather than me telling you all about what your experience is like. But I think there's a way we can sort of fast track that by having peer specialists add that level of detail to us upfront so that we're not always taxing individuals to have to educate us each and every time if that's not something that supports their care in the short term.   Katie Vernoy  42:52 Exactly.   Curt Widhalm  42:54 There seems to be a lot of mixed evidence on the effectiveness of pure counselor type programs, with the United States in particular lagging behind a lot of other countries when it comes to the implementation of this, some of which is highlighted by some of the funding stuff that you're talking about within things like Medicaid, and we even see some of this going on and private insurance type programs where this stuff can't be implemented. What do you see is the difference between a successful incorporation of pure counsellors versus the ones that kind of fizzle out,   Jeff Kashou  43:32 it's going about it with a systematic approach. And that's I'd really emphasize either, you know, utilizing one of those toolkits, like I mentioned, the city of Philadelphia created, which is extremely comprehensive, and very much focused on the existing org and not necessarily on what peers need to be doing. But I think in the absence of that, it's really identifying just like with any big change that you want to make for a business, it's identifying, you know, what, you know, doing your SWOT analysis, and then looking at what is your measure? What's your success metric going to be? And how will you know you got there and then be flexible, to iterate and improve upon things as you move forward? Again, to that authenticity point, it's just like how we work with our, you know, our clientele, it's, you know, we don't expect perfect, but, you know, let's talk about what didn't go well, and let's improve upon it, we need to be able to do that authentically, as well. I think, unfortunately, in healthcare, and especially behavioral health care systems, where we're kind of the afterthought in terms of funding and attention and resources, you know, we just have always learned to make do and stay the course. And then on top of it, you have folks in power, who don't necessarily understand what we do, and they just kind of keep adding more and more stipulations and regulations and so on. And so it's also a matter of like, can you cut through some of that maybe sometimes even through the side door, like in California, we have our mhsaa funding that peer programs are oftentimes Funded there, which is very nice, and that they don't have to be capturing revenue through Medi Cal. This is through funding that has less requirements to it. But it's also pushing back and saying, do they really need to do this level of documentation? You know, so I do think it's a matter of like, thinking things through from bottom to top, like doing that assessment and really assessing yourself like, can we take this on, and being very brutally honest with yourself as a system of care, it's an exciting program, it's an exciting idea. It's one that can bring a lot of benefit. But you have to really understand what it is that you're bringing on. There's other companies that I've worked for that have said, you know, hey, we're, you know, one day down the line, we'll have peers and that way our current clientele can engage and give back, it'll be kind of a lower level service line. I think if you're thinking about it from that perspective, only, and really seeing the dollar signs as part of that image. It's not to say that, you know, money isn't the driver here, but it can't be that upfront. Otherwise, what you're doing is you're commoditizing, a service provider who is designed really to add value simply by them being there and engaging with clientele in that way, without necessarily generating dollars by increasing retention by increasing engagement in services. We know outcomes improve, when systems can demonstrate improve outcomes. Oftentimes, they're the ones that get the next grant are the ones that get the renewed contract, sometimes even a larger contract. So it's really, you know, credenza question in a short way. It's, it's all about approaching it systematically. And not just Yeah, that sounds really exciting. Let's do this.   Katie Vernoy  46:43 I think it has to be baked in, it can't be like, let's add this on to the program. It's almost like you have to build it from the ground up, to have these truly integrated into whatever the treatment program is.   Jeff Kashou  46:56 Yeah, there's kind of three different approaches that that Philadelphia tool toolbox outlines, just like that additive approach that I discussed, there's that selective approach. And then it's really taking on the one that has the greatest level of success is what's called a transformative approach, which a lot of systems are understandably nervous to take on. But to make a program successful, you have to be willing to transform things, sometimes top to bottom to make it work.   Katie Vernoy  47:21 Yeah, it's interesting, because the the program that I had, it was, it was baked in, it was like, my agency decided to do a wraparound program. And at the time, it was called an FSP. Program. And so as, you know, maybe you move clinicians into it, but it was like, here is how you do it. And it was baked in. So it wasn't like, Oh, you're already doing services, let's add this on. Functionally, maybe it looked that way. Because we had clients who then you know, like, followed their therapist, and then got these other services added on. But the program itself was well defined by LA County. And so there was discrete roles, there was training that was required. And like, especially with wraparound, there was like, a week long training where you, everybody went, and there were people from all different roles, and you went when you just first started and all the managers had to go to, so I had to go to it as well. And we would sit there for a full week and interact with other people in our same roles or in the in the peer or the you know, the all the different specialists roles. And so to me, it was, it didn't feel as chaotic because it was like it was completely structured. And it was baked in.   Jeff Kashou  48:31 Yeah, and a wraparound program is oftentimes very much set up for that, you know, they traditionally will have either bachelor's level providers as PSCs, or personal service coordinators, which truthfully appear would be phenomenal at which it sounds like that was the role that you had at your program. And because   Katie Vernoy  48:47 No we had we had bachelor's level folks, we had peers, we had a facilitator, and we had a therapist, so there was four or five people on the team.   Jeff Kashou  48:56 That's a tremendous program. You know, and we're the approach, you know, you've probably experienced this as well, the approach of a wraparound program is like whatever it takes, you know, this is a child, an individual, a family in such a challenging situation that we have to throw everything at this person that they need, and and some to get them to the, you know, to a better place.   Katie Vernoy  49:17 Yeah, yeah. I think it just is a good way to think about it as if you actually create a program from the ground up that includes these roles. I think that is stronger. I'm really glad that we're that we did this episode that we're talking about this related to our fixing mental health care in America. I know that it was mentioned in the RAND report, but I also recognize that one of the elements of this is it has been viewed. I think we did this in one of our more recent advocacy and workforce episodes as a way that we take away work from licensed credentialed mental health professionals and I really see this as an important adjunct a positive step forward. And I think we were able to really see that in the conversations that we had with our three guests today.   Curt Widhalm  50:08 And I mentioned a couple of times in the show, both this episode and recently about how little using supporting roles, like peer support specialists is actually taught as part of therapists education.   Katie Vernoy  50:22 Yeah.   Curt Widhalm  50:23 And there's a lot of emphasis on therapists education that's on what we as individuals can do to help with clients, but don't help us to look at the overall workforce system. And I'm echoing your happiness of this episode. And being able to amplify that really good. Mental, behavioral, emotional health treatments, takes a village. And it does take people from a lot of different viewpoints to really help create healing. And especially those people who have that lived experience and have a really great way of helping to help our clients interact with the system to be able to navigate it in ways that makes sense for them. So continuing to emphasize this will be part of our ongoing role in bringing mental health advocacy to the world. And we encourage you to do so as well.   Katie Vernoy  51:24 And for folks who were really interested in this, there are a lot of links in the shownotes that will help you with some of the some of these concepts, we've got the the guides and those things both onpattro and Jeff sent stuff over that are very helpful for folks who either want to be a peer support specialist or who want to implement those programs. So definitely feel free to reach out to us if can't find it on our show notes. But those things are just the really amazing resources that we were able to put down there.   Curt Widhalm  51:55 You can find those show notes over at MCSG podcast.com. And check out our social media out give us a like or a follow and schrinner Facebook group modern therapist group to further these discussions. And until next time, I'm Kurt Wilhelm with Katie Vernoy.   Katie Vernoy  52:11 Thanks again to our sponsor, trauma therapist network.   Curt Widhalm  52:15 If you've ever looked for a trauma therapist, you know it can be hard to discern who knows what and whether or not they're the right fit for you. There's so many types of trauma and so many different ways to heal. That's why Laura Reagan LCSW WC created trauma therapist network. Trauma therapist network therapist profiles include the types of traumas specialized in population served therapy methods used, making it easier for potential clients to find the right therapist who can help them. Network is more than a directory though its community. All members are invited to attend community meetings to connect consults, and network with colleagues around the country.   Katie Vernoy  52:52 Join the growing community of trauma therapists and get 20% off your first month using the promo code Mt. SG 20 at Trauma therapist network.com Once again that's capital MTS G the number 20 at Trauma therapist network.com   Announcer  53:09 Thank you for listening to the Modern Therapist Survival Guide. Learn more about who we are and what we do at MTSGpodcast.com. You can also join us on Facebook and Twitter. And please don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any of our episodes.

JOY IS NOW
JOY IS NOW: WHY A LITTLE IS A LOT

JOY IS NOW

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2021 7:08


In this newest THEORY segment I share my best practices for managing stress and anxiety on the go. No coincidence that this episode is being released shortly before many of us dive into the holidays with long travel days and family we haven't seen in a while. PS, your Uncle is probably still an ass. But now you'll have some tips to drown out his conspiracy theories at dinner. Nothing should get between you and enjoying pie.   Give a listen, it's a good one.Thanks for being here.EPISODE LINKSWALLACE J. NICHOLS, PhD. This has been JOY IS NOW with me, Lisa Anderson Shaffer, LMFT. You can find me for hire at LISAANDERSONSHAFFER.COM and join the patronage support for this podcast and my daily practice journal, THESE THREE THINGS at patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer. You can also follow along with my musings at @lisaandersonshaffer on Instagram.A special thanks to my affiliate friends at OSEA - the makers of clean seaweed skincare. Save 10% on your OSEA purchase with  code JOYISNOW10. A BIG high five to Graham, from the bookkeeping team at Bench. Graham keeps this business in tip top shape with his mathematical superpowers. Let Graham be your books avenger at Bench.JOY IS NOW is listener supported. When you buy through shared links, we may earn an affiliate commission.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer)

The Private Practice Startup
Episode 281: How to Jump Start Your Private Practice

The Private Practice Startup

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2021 24:13


The Private Practice Startup is co-owned by Kate Campbell, PhD, LMFT and Katie Lemieux, LMFT. They're two therapists with entrepreneurial spirits who are crazy about business. They live, work and play in South Florida. Kate and Katie both built their 6-Figure private practices in less than 2 years from the ground up and love inspiring ambitious mental health professionals to brand themselves and grow their dream private practices! They have a hunger for business, branding and marketing. They love sharing their expertise and inspiring private private practitioners across the globe from startup to mastery. They have helped therapists increase working with the clients they love the most, profit more, increase their rates, have more time off and enjoy a true lifestyle business. Together, they have been featured as guest experts on GoodTherapy.org, Therapy Sites, Your Badass Therapy Practice, Abundance Practice Building podcast, Selling the Couch podcast, Practice of the Practice podcast, Brighter Vision's podcast, Taboo Talk Time podcast, Marketing Workshop podcast, Love Your Practice podcast, and Become a Group Guru. They provide free podcasts, webinars, online courses, private practice coaching, INSPIRE Networking, and customizable Attorney Approved Private Practice Paperwork for therapists.

The Couples Therapist Couch
164: Healing the Trauma from Supremacy Culture with Shirani Pathak

The Couples Therapist Couch

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2021 52:38


The reality of supremacy culture and generational trauma continue to show up in our lives in a big way. People often struggle with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and issues in their relationships and they don't understand why. Shirani Pathak talks about these topics in the episode today. She has a podcast called Fierce Authenticity and a book of the same name.  You can find out more about her and explore her podcast and her blog at shiranipathak.com. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.  Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Making Changes You Love to Live With
So yeah I think I have that! Adult ADHD that is, w/ Christine Borst, PhD, LMFT

Making Changes You Love to Live With

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2021 35:15


Christine and I share some personal stories that you may either resonate with, or at least could laugh with us about hahaha!  We talk about symptoms and options of how we can deal with them.  The choice to support ourselves and/or the people in our life with tools!    For monthly group coaching sessions check out www.LiveFitnessInspired.com/levelup  Follow me on Instagram: @kiersten.gelfand & @fitness.inspirer Don't miss out on hump day inspiration.  Have questions?  Email me at livefitnessinspired@gmail.com. Also, check out all there is going on with Fitness Inspired at www.facebook.com/livefitnessinspired

Therapy Chat
305: Embodied Healing For Sexual Trauma with Erika Shershun

Therapy Chat

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2021 42:24


Welcome back to Therapy Chat! This week host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C interviews Erika Shershun, LMFT, a somatic trauma therapist in California who specializes in working with survivors of sexual trauma. In this episode you'll hear Erika, who is trained in EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, talk about the importance of embodiment - being present in our bodies - to the healing process and how sexual trauma can make it difficult to stay in our bodies. She discusses some of the common reactions to sexual trauma and explains how her book, Healing Sexual Trauma, offers daily practices for grounding, orienting, coming into safety and coming into presence. She even demonstrates an orienting practice she frequently uses with clients.   Guest's Bio:   Erika Shershun, LMFT is a somatic psychotherapist specializing in working with sexual trauma survivors. Her work is body based and trauma informed, incorporating neurobiology and EMDR to help ease and resolve symptoms. Passionate about getting the needed tools that eluded her for so long into the hands of all survivors, she wrote the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook, released by New Harbinger in July, 2021. Drawing on the powerful mind-body techniques of somatic therapy, it's a step-by-step guide to overcoming the physical and psychological effects of sexual trauma, increasing positive body awareness and restoring a sense of hope and vitality. Erika sees individual clients residing in California, and facilitates an ongoing weekly therapy group for female identified survivors at her practice in San Francisco (currently meeting remotely). A second specialization is working with artists, performers, and creatives. Erika welcomes and values diversity, including all races, sexualities, genders, body sizes, and abilities. Resources Find Erika's FREE e-book, The Many Ways to Ground, and purchase her workbook, The Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook, at: www.healingsexualtrauma.com.  Erika's therapy website is at: https://www.erikashershuntherapy.com/ Follow Erika on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erikashershun  Thank you to this week's sponsors! Sunset Lake CBD is created on a small farm outside of Burlington, Vermont that is a producer for Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.  Sunset Lake CBD customers support regenerative agriculture that preserves the health of the land and creates meaningful employment in the community. Farm workers are paid a living wage, and employees own the majority of the company. Therapy Chat listeners, get 20% off your entire order of Sunset Lake CBD products using promo code CHAT at www.sunsetlakecbd.com.  Help us make Trauma Therapist Network the best resource it can be! Send a message about resources you think should be included in the Trauma Therapist Network Site using the form on this page. Looking for a trauma therapist or are you a trauma therapist wanting to join the network? Check it out at: www.traumatherapistnetwork.com! Therapy Chat and Trauma Chat podcasts are also found on the site. Follow Therapy Chat on Instagram Follow Trauma Chat on Instagram Podcast produced by Pete Bailey - https://petebailey.net/audio

Light Up The Couch
The Truths of Transracial Adoption: Evaluating Impact and Considerations for Care, Ep. 143

Light Up The Couch

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2021 61:07


Jaclyn Skalnik, LCSW, provides a detailed discourse about how therapists can conceptualize identity development of those who are transracially-adopted and better support the needs of this population, including discussion about working with individuals or couples who are considering transracial adoption. Interview with Elizabeth Irias, LMFT

Permission for Pleasure
Pleasure after Trauma

Permission for Pleasure

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2021 33:47


Dr. Holly Richmond says, “Your sexual trauma doesn't inform your sexuality; it misinforms it.” Join us for a compassionate discussion about recovery, healing and pleasure after sexual trauma. Holly and I discuss her research based insights about control, pleasure, and connection for thriving. This conversation centers on practices and hopeful guidance for survivors and those who love them. And because healing and recovery is not a solitary process, there is advice here for all of us.www.cindyscharkey.comDr. Holly Richmond is a Somatic Psychotherapist, LMFT and Certified Sex Therapist. Her book,  Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life, is an innovative look at both somatic and psychological factors in survivors' erotic recovery.www.drhollyrichmond.com

Take Up Space Podcast
Ep. 69: Fredrick Gillam - License Professional Counselor & Ordained Minister

Take Up Space Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2021 74:07


In the final installment of the Mental Health series, Fredrick Gillam joins Leah to talk about his experience in the mental health space. Fredrick Gillam is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC, MHSP, LMFT) who started his ministry in the church to help those who need support, especially in the grief and loss space. His introduction into his professional field came as he and his wife were learning how to care for their son who was diagnosed with ADD. Leah and Fredrick discuss ways to introduce mental health in relationships, how to support others who may need it, and group counseling.Check our guest!https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/fredrick-gillam-jr-memphis-tn/477842

Polyvagal Podcast
Bad Therapy: "Get Over It," Client Quote Book & more!

Polyvagal Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2021 35:04


Part 1 of 2, talking with Heidi Rogers about some bad therapy! Our episode on her podcast - https://www.heidirogers.com.au/blog/justin-sunseri-polyvagal-theory/  Heidi's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/heidirogers_/  Building Safety Anchors -https://www.justinlmft.com/bsa  Polyvagal 101 Class  - https://www.justinlmft.com/PVT101   Become a $5 Patron - https://www.patreon.com/justinlmft  Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats   National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for emergency   This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health sx.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Cheating: When Love Lies
What Happens When Cheaters Get Caught?

Cheating: When Love Lies

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2021 46:46


Often times I hear people in adulterous relationships say how cheating made them feel younger and more alive again. They tell me about the thrill and titillation of safeguarding a secret union, and how an affair allowed them to engage sexual fantasies they wouldn't necessarily explore with their own partner. An affair can feel very dreamy and movie-like until the cheater gets caught. Then what happens? How do cheaters face their partners, their families, and their children? In the first half of this episode, Connecticut matrimonial attorney Shawna Hamilton Doster shares anecdotes about cheaters who got caught. In the second half, Connecticut based Trevor Crow, an LMFT, MBA, Certified Executive Coach and Certified EFT Therapist shares couples' dramatic cheating revelations and confessions. Through my guests' stories and anecdotes, this episode explores the implications of getting caught from both a legal and emotional perspective.

Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World with Michelle & Scott
Episode 88 - How to Thrive for the Holidays

Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World with Michelle & Scott

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2021 58:43


Episode 88 - How to Thrive for the Holidays In this episode, Michelle and Scott give you their best tips and suggestions for easing through the holiday season, loving the people you're celebrating with, and not letting others drain your energy. Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World is a podcast hosted by Michelle Post, MA, LMFT and Scott Grossberg, Esq., CLC, CCH, NLP and is 45 minutes of raw, irreverent, and results-oriented discussion with one purpose in mind . . . to help you cope, thrive, and survive the craziness that's going on in the world. As a reminder, our “Get Your Sh*t Together” Home Retreat can be found here: http://thinkingmagically.com/retreat Replays of prior episodes can be found at: https://anchor.fm/scott-grossberg You can also join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/keepingyst Michelle Post can be reached at michelle@postinternationalinc.com http://postinternationalinc.com
 Scott Grossberg can be reached at sgrossberg@hotmail.com http://thinkingmagically.com
 © ℗ 2021 Scott Grossberg & Michelle Post. All rights reserved. "Easy Lemon (60 second)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ 
 DISCLAIMER: MICHELLE IS A THERAPIST, BUT SHE IS NOT YOUR THERAPIST. SCOTT IS AN ATTORNEY, BUT HE IS NOT YOUR ATTORNEY. THE INFORMATION AND EMAIL DISCUSSION THAT TAKES PLACE IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT LEGAL, MEDICAL, NOR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE. PARTICIPATION IN THIS PROGRAM DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT NOR THERAPIST-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP. MICHELLE AND SCOTT ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES RELATED TO ACTIONS OR FAILURES TO ACT RELATED TO ANY OF THEIR PROGRAMS OR TRAINING. IF YOU NEED SPECIFIC LEGAL, MEDICAL, OR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR HELP, CONSULT WITH A PROFESSIONAL WHO SPECIALIZES IN YOUR SUBJECT MATTER AND JURISDICTION. NEVER DISREGARD THE MEDICAL ADVICE OF A PSYCHOLOGIST, PHYSICIAN OR OTHER HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, OR DELAY IN SEEKING SUCH ADVICE, BECAUSE OF THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR RELATED TO ANY OF MICHELLE'S OR SCOTT'S PROGRAMS OR TRAININGS. 
 MICHELLE'S AND SCOTT'S PROGRAMS AND TRAINING ARE NOT SUITED FOR EVERYONE. THEY DO NOT ASSUME, AND SHALL NOT HAVE, ANY LIABILITY TO USERS FOR INJURY OR LOSS IN CONNECTION THEREWITH. THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL LIABILITY CONCERNING ANY TREATMENT OR ANY ACTION FOLLOWING THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR THROUGH ANY PROGRAM, COACHING, CONSULTING OR STRATEGIC WORK SESSION.
 #radio #podcast #survivingtheholidays #saynotopsychicvampires #everyfamilyhasone #ShiftYourMindset #DaringGreatly #PersonalGrowth #SelfCareMatters #AnxietyAwareness #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #GrowThroughIt #YouArePowerful #wellness #selfcare #success #mindset #keepingyst #gysthr #thinkingmagically #findurmagic --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast
Fighting Anxiety with Mindfulness for Better Erections

Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2021 25:06


Today's episode of the Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast is an interview with David F. Khalili, LMFT, about things people can be doing on their own -- or with the help of a therapist -- to address some of the psychological issues related to erectile dysfunction.  Mindfulness, anxiety, and erectile dysfunction are discussed in this episode focused on some psychological interventions and possible solutions to mental issues related to sexual dysfunction.  David is the author of Sex Worriers: A Mindfully Queer Guide for Men's Anxiety Around Sex and Dating. He is a sex and couples therapist in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can learn more about him by visiting: https://www.davidfkhalili.com/. The Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast is dedicated to educating and empowering men to address erectile dysfunction, improve confidence, and enhance the satisfaction in their relationships. This podcast is hosted by certified sex therapist, Mark Goldberg, LCMFT, CST. Learn to think differently about erections to resolve your ED struggles with our "Beyond the Little Blue Pill" eCourse: https://erectioniq.com/course   For more free erectile dysfunction education and resources, visit: https://erectioniq.com/    

The Impact of Leadership
99 | Mental Health: Boundaries & Empathy – Shelly Smith, LMFT

The Impact of Leadership

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2021 38:21


How do empathy, boundaries, family dynamics and an always on culture impact mental health? Enter Shelly Smith. Shelly a licensed therapist and co-founder of Good Human Work. In this episode she helps us have a framework for how empathy, boundaries, family & mental health are tied together.

JOY IS NOW
JOY IS NOW: LET'S TALK REJUVENATION WITH WALLACE J. NICHOLS, PH.D

JOY IS NOW

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2021 48:55


Hi Friends and welcome to JOY IS NOW! The podcast where we take a psychologically minded look at life. I'm your host Lisa Anderson Shaffer, coach, consultant, and resident psych enthusiast.I am excited to host for an EMOTION segment discussion, marine biologist, water-lover, turtle nerd, embarrassing Dad, creator of useful words, and author of the best selling book,  BLUE MIND,  Dr. Wallace J. Nichols.It was such a treat to share mind space with a marine biologist! I truly loved this conversation. Dr. Nichols and I discuss REJUVENATION and how water and the concept of BLUE MIND is directly tied to our overall wellness.Listen in, it's a good one!This has been JOY IS NOW with me, Lisa Anderson Shaffer, LMFT. You can find me for hire at LISAANDERSONSHAFFER.COM and join the patronage support for this podcast and my daily practice journal, THESE THREE THINGS at patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer. You can also follow along with my musings at @lisaandersonshaffer on Instagram.A special thanks to my affiliate friends at OSEA - the makers of clean seaweed skincare. Save 10% on your OSEA purchase with this special link and code JOYISNOW10. JOY IS NOW is listener supported. When you buy through shared links, we may earn an affiliate commission.LISA ANDERSON SHAFFER, LMFTNEWSLETTERBOOKPATRONAGEINSTAGRAMEPISODE LINKS:WALLACE NICHOLS, PH.DBLUE MINDPATREONINSTAGRAMTWITTERJUSTIN FEINSTEINSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer)

The Private Practice Startup
Episode 280: How to Navigate Cancellations in Private Practice

The Private Practice Startup

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2021 21:34


The Private Practice Startup is co-owned by Kate Campbell, PhD, LMFT and Katie Lemieux, LMFT. They're two therapists with entrepreneurial spirits who are crazy about business. They live, work and play in South Florida. Kate and Katie both built their 6-Figure private practices in less than 2 years from the ground up and love inspiring ambitious mental health professionals to brand themselves and grow their dream private practices! They have a hunger for business, branding and marketing. They love sharing their expertise and inspiring private private practitioners across the globe from startup to mastery. They have helped therapists increase working with the clients they love the most, profit more, increase their rates, have more time off and enjoy a true lifestyle business. Together, they have been featured as guest experts on GoodTherapy.org, Therapy Sites, Your Badass Therapy Practice, Abundance Practice Building podcast, Selling the Couch podcast, Practice of the Practice podcast, Brighter Vision's podcast, Taboo Talk Time podcast, Marketing Workshop podcast, Love Your Practice podcast, and Become a Group Guru. They provide free podcasts, webinars, online courses, private practice coaching, INSPIRE Networking, and customizable Attorney Approved Private Practice Paperwork for therapists.

Autism Live
Let's Talk Autism - Autism News + Vince Redmond LMFT Discussing Feelings of Being Excluded

Autism Live

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2021 60:21


This time on Let's Talk Autism, Shannon and Nancy Discuss autism news about autism research, gut bacteria and more! After that, Shannon and Nancy talk to Vince Redmond, LMFT about the feelings around being excluded! Don't miss it! 9:53 Autism News Research into gut microbiome-autism link reveals new perspective in collaborative Autism CRC study 12:53 Gut bacteria don't cause autism. Autistic kids' microbiome differences are due to picky eating 18:17 My partner's adult son with autism was disinvited from a holiday party - The Boston Globe 24:12 Feds: Stamford YMCA reaches deal after not helping child with autism (westport-news.com) 32:25 Vince Redmond, LMFT, Discusses Feelings Around Being Excluded

Autism Live
Let's Talk Autism - Autism News + Vince Redmond LMFT Discussing Feelings of Being Excluded

Autism Live

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2021 60:04


This time on Let's Talk Autism, Shannon and Nancy Discuss autism news about autism research, gut bacteria and more! After that, Shannon and Nancy talk to Vince Redmond, LMFT about the feelings around being excluded! Don't miss it! 9:53 Autism News Research into gut microbiome-autism link reveals new perspective in collaborative Autism CRC study 12:53 Gut bacteria don't cause autism. Autistic kids' microbiome differences are due to picky eating 18:17 My partner's adult son with autism was disinvited from a holiday party - The Boston Globe 24:12 Feds: Stamford YMCA reaches deal after not helping child with autism (westport-news.com) 32:25 Vince Redmond, LMFT, Discusses Feelings Around Being Excluded

Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes
#576 Hard T1 Questions from Kids

Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2021 66:05


Erika Forsyth, LMFT is back to answer some difficult questions sent in by children of the listeners. Show notes for people who are Bold with Insulin Find out more about the Dexcom CGM Get a FREE Omnipod Demo today  Learn about Touched By Type 1 Gvoke Glucagon  CONTOUR NEXT ONE smart meter and CONTOUR DIABETES app Add your voice to the T1DExchange TrialNet T1D Risk Screening A full list of our sponsors  How to listen, disclaimer and more Apple Podcasts> Subscribe to the podcast today! The podcast is available on Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadioRadio Public, Amazon Music and all Android devices The show is now available as an Alexa skill. My type 1 diabetes parenting blog Arden's Day Listen to the Juicebox Podcast online Read my award winning memoir: Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Thank you! Follow Scott on Social Media @ArdensDay @JuiceboxPodcast Disclaimer - Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast or read on Arden's Day is intended as medical advice. You should always consult a physician before making changes to your health plan.  If the podcast has helped you to live better with type 1 please tell someone else how to find the show and consider leaving a rating and review on iTunes. Thank you! Arden's Day and The Juicebox Podcast are not charitable organizations.

Starting Over Stronger | Divorce Survival and Recovery

How to be Your Own TherapistThe greatest struggle of divorce is, hands down, how we manage our brains, and the struggle that we all have with how to meet our own emotional and psychological needs during this season of loss and transition. It is critically important for each of us to become an expert on “therapizing” ourselves. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of "Therapize Yourself", Carrie Leaf, admits it is a made-up word, but nonetheless, a word that many people use often, perhaps whimsically, but Carrie's frequency of hearing the word coupled with the felt need for more people to know how to help themselves was so important to Carrie that she wrote a book about it.In its most basic form, we describe “therapizing yourself” as understanding your emotions and paying attention to them like the warning lights on your dashboard, to prevent bigger problems later. Being your own therapist requires getting wise to who you are, what you need, what's important to you, what you like, and exploring until you have a solid grasp on what mind-body-spirit connection involves and how important it is to your mental, physical and emotional well-being. Breaking it down a little bit, we discussed some solid examples of good mindfulness exercises for someone going through a divorce, like journaling, but many more great ideas were tossed around as well. Then we dove into the most important areas of consideration with regard to our bodies during divorce, what to do, not do, eat, and not eat to feel our Best Self so we can better endure the stress and overcome the overwhelm of decision fatigue that leads to great regret.Lastly, we explored how we can best serve our own spiritual needs during divorce by doing just that—exploring. Taking a curious approach to what we actually believe, what feels right and good to us. Maybe it is to visit church for the first time in decades. Maybe it's a decision to step away from the church to truly connect with God and feed that personal relationship. Maybe it is simply to ask ourselves, what do I believe about the world, deity, my purpose? Stay curious and trust your gut to show you what matters most for you right now, and in the long term.Wrapping it all up, we had a frank conversation with the person who might say they can't afford a therapist, or a coach. Here is the hard truth. With something as important as mental health, there is very much an element of “you can't afford not to” that you simply cannot ignore. I would imagine most people would have said at some point that they can't afford a lawyer either, but they figured out a way to make that work because they saw the necessity. They realize the risk of going it alone. Therapy, or visiting the past to understand the present realities, and Coaching, or visualizing the future to create the present possibilities, are risky endeavors when going it alone. The amazing irony of making this investment in therapizing yourself well is that you will most often offset the cost of legal fees, the additional strain on your emotional well-being and even shorten the duration of the divorce process!Managing your brain is job #1 in your divorce. Start today by listening to this powerful interview in full and then make some incredibly important decisions about your next best steps.Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World with Michelle & Scott

Episode 87 - FOMO, FOGO, and FONO In this episode, Michelle and Scott discuss the fears that are raising their ugly heads once again (and a few that are new) including: FOMO (the fear of missing out), FOGO, (the fear of going out), and FONO (the fear of normal or the fear of negative outlook). Keeping Your Sh*t Together in a Stressed World is a podcast hosted by Michelle Post, MA, LMFT and Scott Grossberg, Esq., CLC, CCH, NLP and is 45 minutes of raw, irreverent, and results-oriented discussion with one purpose in mind . . . to help you cope, thrive, and survive the craziness that's going on in the world. As a reminder, our “Get Your Sh*t Together” Home Retreat can be found here: http://thinkingmagically.com/gysthr Replays of prior episodes can be found at: https://anchor.fm/scott-grossberg You can also join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/keepingyst/ Michelle Post can be reached at michelle@postinternationalinc.com http://postinternationalinc.com
 Scott Grossberg can be reached at sgrossberg@hotmail.com http://thinkingmagically.com
 © ℗ 2021 Scott Grossberg & Michelle Post. All rights reserved. "Easy Lemon (60 second)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ 
 DISCLAIMER: MICHELLE IS A THERAPIST, BUT SHE IS NOT YOUR THERAPIST. SCOTT IS AN ATTORNEY, BUT HE IS NOT YOUR ATTORNEY. THE INFORMATION AND EMAIL DISCUSSION THAT TAKES PLACE IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT LEGAL, MEDICAL, NOR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE. PARTICIPATION IN THIS PROGRAM DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT NOR THERAPIST-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP. MICHELLE AND SCOTT ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES RELATED TO ACTIONS OR FAILURES TO ACT RELATED TO ANY OF THEIR PROGRAMS OR TRAINING. IF YOU NEED SPECIFIC LEGAL, MEDICAL, OR MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE OR HELP, CONSULT WITH A PROFESSIONAL WHO SPECIALIZES IN YOUR SUBJECT MATTER AND JURISDICTION. NEVER DISREGARD THE MEDICAL ADVICE OF A PSYCHOLOGIST, PHYSICIAN OR OTHER HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, OR DELAY IN SEEKING SUCH ADVICE, BECAUSE OF THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR RELATED TO ANY OF MICHELLE'S OR SCOTT'S PROGRAMS OR TRAININGS. 
 MICHELLE'S AND SCOTT'S PROGRAMS AND TRAINING ARE NOT SUITED FOR EVERYONE. THEY DO NOT ASSUME, AND SHALL NOT HAVE, ANY LIABILITY TO USERS FOR INJURY OR LOSS IN CONNECTION THEREWITH. THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL LIABILITY CONCERNING ANY TREATMENT OR ANY ACTION FOLLOWING THE INFORMATION OFFERED OR PROVIDED WITHIN OR THROUGH ANY PROGRAM, COACHING, CONSULTING OR STRATEGIC WORK SESSION.
 #radio #podcast #FOMO #FOGO #FONO #desires #ShiftYourMindset #DaringGreatly #PersonalGrowth #SelfCareMatters #AnxietyAwareness #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #GrowThroughIt #YouArePowerful #wellness #selfcare #success #mindset #keepingyst #gysthr #thinkingmagically #findurmagic --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

BlackWomxnHealingPod
EP 92 Entrepreneurship ft. Denise M. Williams, LMFT

BlackWomxnHealingPod

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2021 37:51


This week we discuss Entrepreneurship with special guest Denise M. Williams, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Well-Play Counseling & Wellbeing Center. With so many opportunities for entrepreneurship in our recent times, we know this episode is needed! In this episode we discuss the benefits, challenges, and personal experiences navigating entrepreneurship. You can find more about Denise on website https://www.well-play.com and social media handle @wellplaywellbeing. Take a listen and share with others! BWH healing workbook can be found at: https://amzn.to/3kpZZF1 Looking for an editor, graphic designer, or any other freelancer check out Fiverr Link: https://fvrr.co/3xIpVA1 Buy "Healing on the Daily" Glass Mugs: https://www.bwhpodcast.com/product-page/healing-on-the-daily-glass-mugs?ltclid=d0a2c6b2-ee60-42cc-abf8-799ecc7033cb Check out BWH website at: www.bwhpodcast.com If you are interested in being a guest, please find form here: https://linktr.ee/bwh_pod

Living Life Naturally
LLN Episode #74:  Elena Lesser-Bruun, EdD, LMFT - How to Have a Happy & Successful Relationship Even When the Kids Leave Home

Living Life Naturally

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2021 30:37


About Elena Lesser-Bruun, Ed.D, LMFT Elena Lesser-Bruun, Ed.D, LMFT (Doctor of Education and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist), has decades of professional experience in several related fields. She maintains a private psychotherapy practice, seeing individuals, couples, and families. Along with her practice, Elena spent 25 years in medical education administration, first at SUNY Downstate, then as Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Associate Dean for Student Affairs at the NYU School of Medicine. Elena's primary goal is to assist those struggling with relationship issues like poor communication, drifting apart, disagreements about in-laws, friends, or raising children, infidelity, serious illness, separation, divorce, and dynamics between adult children & their parents. Her background in career counseling is also handy for clients with work-related problems, dual career stress, or achieving better work-life balance.  Elena's approach to sensitive and uncomfortable topics is her signature, using a humane and non-judgmental style to better uncover people's strengths, unrecognized needs, new or underutilized talents, and problem-solving abilities. Those who have crossed paths with her often cite her sense of humor and “patience of Job” as two of the sharpest tools in her skill box. Elena's non-traditional, winding career path has a common thread that allows her to speak with authority about all kinds of relationships and relationship rifts: family, friendship, colleague, work, mentorship, and compatriot. In several books, she reaches a plethora of audiences with titles like Marrying Well, Not on Speaking Terms, and, written during the pandemic, Estranged. What We Discuss In This Episode: Although we talk about some general issues around relationships, as a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Elena shares her wisdom about how we can better our relationships all-around, but also with our significant other.  In the midlife phase of life, we often find that as the children leave home and we're left as “empty-nesters,” our relationships have been so embedded into the lives of our children, we have to rebuild those connections with our spouse or significant other to bring back the love and closeness we once enjoyed. Resources from Elena Lesser-Bruun: Maxine Gets Her Vaccine: https://www.amazon.com/dp/173738471X Connect with Elena Lesser-Bruun:  Website:  www.elbtherapy.com Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Elena-Lesser-Bruun/ https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/elena-lesser-bruun-976273a   Connect with Lynne: If you are looking for a community of like-minded women on a journey - just like you are - to improved health and wellness, overall balance, and increased confidence, check out Lynne's private community in The Energized & Healthy Women's Club. It's a supportive and collaborative community where the women in this group share tips and solutions for a healthy and holistic lifestyle. (Discussions include things like weight management, eliminating belly bloat, wrangling sugar gremlins, and overcoming fatigue, recipes, strategies, and much more so women can feel energized, healthy, confident, and joyful each day. Website:  https://holistic-healthandwellness.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/holistichealthandwellnessllc The Energized Healthy Women's Club:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/energized.healthy.women Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lynnewadsworth   Free Resource: Hot flashes? Low Energy? Difficulty with weight management? If MID-LIFE & MENOPAUSE are taking their toll then I've got a solution for you! I've taken all my very best strategies and solutions to help you feel energized, vibrant, lighter & healthy, and compiled them into this FREE resource! Thrive in midlife and beyond - download my guide here: https://holistic-healthandwellness.com/thrive-through-menopause/   Did You Enjoy The Podcast? If you enjoyed this episode please let us know! 5-star reviews for the Living Life Naturally podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, or Stitcher are greatly appreciated. This helps us reach more women struggling to live through midlife and beyond. Thank you. Together, we make a difference!

Psych Talk
Episode 67 | Perfectionism, Uncertainty, and Mom Anxiety with Kaitlin Soule, LMFT

Psych Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2021 35:59


In today's episode of Psych Talk I talk with Kaitlin Soule, LMFT all about perfectionism, uncertainty, and anxiety in motherhood.  Kaitlin is an anxiety expert, writer, and women's empowerment coach who has a passion working with moms on overcoming their anxiety. Kaitlin discusses how perfectionism, uncertainty, and anxiety are all interconnected and why these things are extremely prevalent in motherhood. Kaitlin discusses how uncertainty shows up in motherhood and ways it may impact moms, as well as tips on overcoming perfectionism in parenthood. Kaitlin provides listeners with tips on starting to work through their anxiety and provides any mothers listening with words of encouragement if they are struggling with perfectionism, uncertainty, or anxiety. Kaitlin's book, A Little Less of a Hot Mess: The Modern Mom's Guide to Growth & Evolution comes out in March 2022 where she dives further into the topics discussed in today's episode. Connect with Kaitlin:Instagram: @kaitlin.souleWebsite: wellnotesbykaitlin.comPre Order Kaitlin's book: A Little Less of a Hot Mess: The Modern Mom's Guide to Growth & EvolutionAdditional Resources:The Monkey Mind Workout for PerfectionismWays to Work With Me:Mind Over MatterLGBTQ+ Affirming MasterclassBe a guest on my podcastResources:Value Aligned 2021 JournalAnti-Racism ResourcesLGBTQ+ Affirming ResourcesThe Helping Professional's Guide to Boundary SettingConnect with Me:Follow me on IG @jessicaleighphd.Follow me on TikTok @jessicaleighphdJoin my Facebook community: Grow Through What You Go ThroughSponsors & Collaborations:BetterHelpDiveThru WebsiteDiveThru AppIntro/Outro Music:Life of Riley by Kevin MacLeodMusic License

JOY IS NOW
JOY IS NOW: LET'S TALK HAPPINESS WITH SONYA PHILIP

JOY IS NOW

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2021 69:31


Hi Friends and welcome to JOY IS NOW! The podcast where we take a psychologically minded look at life. I'm your host Lisa Anderson Shaffer, coach, consultant, and resident psych enthusiast.I am excited to host: for an EMOTION segment discussion, artist, designer, teacher, the creator of 100 Acts of Sewing,  and author of The Act of Sewing, SONYA PHILIP. We talk HAPPINESS and how our own happiness is deeply connected to our love of clothing. Listen in, it's a good one!This has been JOY IS NOW with me, Lisa Anderson Shaffer, LMFT. You can find me for hire at LISAANDERSONSHAFFER.COM and join the patronage support for this podcast and my daily practice journal, THESE THREE THINGS at patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer. You can also follow along with my musings at @lisaandersonshaffer on Instagram.A special thanks to my affiliate friends at OSEA - the makers of clean seaweed skincare. Save 10% on your OSEA purchase with this special link and code JOYISNOW10. JOY IS NOW is listener supported. When you buy through shared links, we may earn an affiliate commission.LISA ANDERSON SHAFFER, LMFTNEWSLETTERBOOKPATRONAGEINSTAGRAMEPISODE LINKS:SONYA PHILIPTWITTERINSTAGRAMKATE FLETCHERIRIS VAN HERPENISSEY MIYAKEYOHJI YAMAMOTOCOMMES DE GARCONSSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer)

We Met At Acme
I Went To Couples Therapy So You Don't Have To ft. Elizabeth Earnshaw

We Met At Acme

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2021 71:43


In this episode, I virtually sit down with well known couples therapist Eliz- abeth Earnshaw, LMFT. We discuss the best practices for conflict resolution, the leading rea- son for divorce, how to not let your SO's mood affect you, signs a couple won't make it, how men and women handle break ups, if some people are just better apart, and more! This episode starts with a solo where I discuss more wedding planning, kim k and pete davidson (and their charts), if previously engaged people more quicker or slower in future, moving on tactics/hacks, how I used to spend so much on weed, gift ideas for SO, and the future of WMAA when I'm married with kids. Milkandhoney.com code ACME for 20% off your next purchase Dailyharvest.com code ACME to get up to $40 off your first box Girlfriend.com/acme for $25 off your purchase of $100 or more DipseaStories.com/acme an extended 30 day free trial Produced by Dear Media.

Hello Beauty
Finding A Great Therapist Has Never Been Easier, With Advekit's CEO Alison LaSov (LMFT)

Hello Beauty

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2021 24:20


Alison LaSov, a licensed marriage & family therapist, Co-Founder, and CEO of Advekit graces Hello Beauty to share how she decided to solve the issue of paying for therapy. Advekit works to make therapy accessible through therapist options. It utilizes a matching algorithm that provides patients with therapist options based on availability, insurance, and type of therapy. In tandem, their technology allows patients in real-time to share their insurance details and find out exactly what it would cost to see a therapist. Advekit handles the burden of reimbursement and paperwork so that patients can simply focus on receiving clinical care.FOLLOW  ADVEKITAdvekit's WebsiteAdvekit's InstagramFOLLOW HELLO BEAUTYHello Beauty's InstagramFOLLOW JOYCE PLATONJoyce Platon's Instagram

Gay Men's Life Lab with Buck Dodson
Self-Medicating vs. Self-Soothing with Steve Lapuk, LMFT

Gay Men's Life Lab with Buck Dodson

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2021 51:51


Join me for this thoughtful conversation with psychotherapist, Steve Lapuk, as we discuss his work helping gay men address self-destructive behaviors by understanding the root causes and learning how to soothe ourselves to get our needs met. Steve and talk about:How the trauma of growing up can fuel self-harming behaviorsHow to use the “Hangover Effect” to determine if you're self-medicatingWhat a “manic flight” is and why it drives self-destructive choicesWhat you can do to start taking better care of yourself About Steve LapukBased in Los Angeles, you can find Steve at www.stevelapuk.com. Resources mentionedOut of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives by Walt Odets, PhDAbout Buck Dodson, HostLearn more about me and how I help gay men like you live and love well by visiting www.buckdodson.com and following me on Instagram and Facebook. If you found this episode helpful, please ‘gay it forward' by subscribing and leaving a quick review and rating. This helps more gay men find Gay Men's Life Lab! 

Light Up The Couch
Train the Brain: Integrating Biofeedback and Neurofeedback Into Treatment, Ep. 142

Light Up The Couch

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2021 66:30


Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LPCA, provides a comprehensive interview explaining biofeedback and neurofeedback how these evidence-based approaches can be integrated with traditional psychotherapy. Interview with Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.

The Hamilton Review
A Conversation About Adverse Childhood Experiences with Jon Sorensen, LMFT

The Hamilton Review

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 3, 2021 36:45


Join us for the latest episode of The Hamilton Review Podcast! In this conversation, Dr. Bob sits down with LMFT, Jon Sorensen for an in depth and informative discussion about adverse childhood experiences, when to seek therapy and the impact on adulthood. Enjoy this great conversation and share with a friend! Jon is a published author, teacher and education researcher. Through his work with families as a teacher, he recognized that many “learning challenges” or “behavioral issues” were in fact, a result of emotional struggles, generational trauma, and unbalanced family dynamics. Having found a field that demanded he use all his analytical, scientific, creative, existential and philosophical impulses, Jon began working on a specialization in healing developmental trauma, PTSD and resulting mental health struggles. How now operates a thriving therapy practice in Santa Monica CA. Leveraging newfound knowledge developed by people like Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Elaine Miller-Karas, Francine Shapiro, Eugene Gendlin, Laurel Parnell and others, Jon continues to apply the most effective treatments for his clients while happily donating his time to speak to individuals and groups to educate people about how much is known and how much is available to us now that did not exist 30 years ago. Jon asserts that 30 years ago, you had to learn to cope with and accept many mental health challenges. Now, you can actually reset your nervous system and live free of traumatizing experiences. How to contact Jon: Jon Sorensen, LMFT website  How to contact Dr. Bob: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChztMVtPCLJkiXvv7H5tpDQ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drroberthamilton/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bob.hamilton.1656 Seven Secrets Of The Newborn website: https://7secretsofthenewborn.com/ Website: https://roberthamiltonmd.com/ Pacific Ocean Pediatrics: http://www.pacificoceanpediatrics.com/ Share this episode with a friend and leave a rating + review on Apple Podcasts to help others find this content. Thanks so much!

Behavioral Health Today
Integrating Spirituality and Therapy with Dan Kim, LMFT – Episode 107

Behavioral Health Today

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2021 38:05


At its core, spirituality is a connection and a relationship, but a disposition that flows from that. Therapy is spiritual work. In this episode, we proudly welcome our newest member to our podcast and today's host Dr. Erin Elmore. Erin is joined by Daniel Kim, LMFT, who has 12 years of experience working with clients who struggle with trauma, relational problems, and spiritual issues. Dan has also worked with members of the clergy who struggle with deep personal issues. Together, Erin and Dan, discuss integrating faith with therapy practice, viewing therapy as spiritual work, working with pastors in therapy, and advocating for therapists to do their own personal work to become better at helping their clients. When we are helping people in our sessions experience unconditional positive regard, compassion, and love as a therapist, and treat our clients with worth and dignity, we help our clients love themselves with self-compassion and acceptance. That is spirituality.   For more information about Spiritual Strategy for Counseling and Psychotherapy by P. Scott Richards, PhD and Allen E. Bergin, PhD, please visit: https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4317077 For more information about How God Changes Your Brain by Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, please visit: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/120938/how-god-changes-your-brain-by-andrew-newberg-md-and-mark-robert-waldman/ For more information about Building Moral Intelligence by Michele Borba, Ed.D, please visit: https://www.micheleborba.com/books/building-moral-intelligence/ For more information about Soul Searching by Dr. William Doherty, please visit: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/soul-searching-15 For more information about Daniel Kim and his private practice, please visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/daniel-c-kim-la-mesa-ca/475310

EmotionAL Support
Jamila M. Dawson, LMFT & August McLaughlin (co-authors of WITH PLEASURE)

EmotionAL Support

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2021 67:08


It was such a treat to interview Jamila and August and dive deep into 'With Pleasure' , their new book about managing trauma triggers for more vibrant sex and relationships. Be sure to order yours today and let us know what you would like to learn more about! Jamila M. Dawson, LMFT is the co-author of the innovative book: With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships. A licensed therapist with an expertise in sexuality, trauma, and relationships, Jamila has been a sex educator since 2005 and has practiced psychotherapy since 2015. She is the founder and owner of the psychotherapy practice Fire & Flow Therapy. She has collaborated with Buzzfeed, MEL, Playboy, Harper's BAZAAR and other media outlets and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Girlboner and Sex with Dr. Jess. Jamila uses her Instagram & Facebook accounts to share practices, tools, and reflections on sexuality, relationships, and mental health. @jamila.thesextherapist August McLaughlin is a nationally recognized journalist and host and producer of the podcast, Girl Boner Radio, a true story-driven podcast where she explores sexual empowerment, relationships and pleasure. Her articles have been featured by Cosmopolitan, the Washington Post, Salon and more. Her 2018 release, Girl Boner, was featured in the New York Times and called “equally fun, risqué, and informative” by Publishers Weekly. She has presented at colleges, recovery centers, and the CDC headquarters, attended the 2016 United State of Women summit as a nominated changemaker and gave a TEDx talk on her experience overcoming an eating disorder she was diagnosed with while working abroad in the fashion industry. @augustmclaughlin @emotionalsupportpod https://www.emotionalsupportpod.com/  

Divorce Conversations for Women
The Importance Of Parenting Plans with Brian Victor

Divorce Conversations for Women

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2021 30:09


Our guest today is Brian Victor, Attorney, JD, and LMFT. Brian is a family law attorney in San Diego, California focusing on the mediation of divorce, child custody, and parent plans. Brian has experience as a Family Court Counselor and brings us a unique perspective on the divorce process. He and Rhonda discuss mediation options and the importance of a good parenting plan.    Connect with Brian: The Law Offices of Brian A. Victor https://brianvictorlaw.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lawofficesbrianavictor/ Instagram: @Brianav7 Twitter: @brianvictorlaw   More about our guest, Brian Victor: Prior to running his own practice, Brian worked 11 ½ years as a Family Court Counselor at the San Diego Superior Court Family Court Services. Brian has been named one of the best divorce lawyers in San Diego between 2016 and 2021. He was named a Super Lawyers Rising Star from 2015 to 2020. _____________________________ Your host is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA®, CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center Rhonda has dedicated her career to being an advocate for women and educating them on how financial strategies can impact their personal and professional success. Her work has shown women going through a divorce how to have a voice, be assertive, get results, be driven, and move forward with confidence.  For Rhonda and her company, the Women's Financial Wellness Center, helping women isn't just about running the numbers. It's about asking the right questions, demystifying myths and biases around finances, and helping women walk in their power. Rhonda is passionate about helping her clients navigate a broken system and level the playing field so they can achieve success—pre, during, and post-divorce. As an accomplished speaker and international author, Rhonda has been interviewed on several national and local platforms as a financial expert, including Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, the Morning Blend. She has been featured on Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, The Divorce Hour Radio Show, Better Over 50 online publication, and many more! Whether you're a stay-at-home mom whose husband is in positions of power (emotionally and financially) or a high-income earner—Rhonda and her team advocate for women and help them stop overcompensating their financials out of guilt or shame. Connect with Rhonda (add her links for website and socials)

Holding Space
A Little Less of a Hot Mess with Kaitlin Soule, LMFT

Holding Space

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2021 49:47


I'm a recovering perfectionist, and in this episode I'm sharing my story. Perfectionism is often rooted in Anxiety. Maybe if I do this perfect, then I'll be safe? Unfortunately, there's no shortage of messages that can keep us stuck in the cycle of striving for control through Perfection while ignoring our own needs, falling short because, well...we are HUMAN, and feeling swallowed up by the Guilt or Shame that follows. Can you relate? I invited my friend Kaitlin Soule, LMFT (author of the upcoming book A Little Less of a Hot Mess) to hear my story and walk us through ways we can begin to stop the cycle of people-pleasing and perfectionism that so often leads to burnout and anxiety in parenting. You can learn more from Kaitlin on her website, https://wellnotesforher.com/ and on Instagram @kaitlin.soule. Learn more about Kaitlin's book and FREE Limiting Beliefs Checklist below! A Little Less of a Hot Mess: The Modern Mom's Guide to Growth & Evolution The Transform Your Limiting Beliefs Checklist --- RELATED EPISODES Episode 2: Defining Your Values Episode 3: Mom Guilt Episode 59: Bonding with Baby

You Need Therapy
Betrayal Trauma with Caitlin Olsen, LMFT

You Need Therapy

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2021 49:24


This week, Kat (@kat.defatta), has licensed therapist turned mental health coach, Caitlin Olsen (@therapywithcaitlin) on the show tp talk about Betrayal Trauma. Learning about Betrayal Trauma has helped Caitlin's clients (and herself) make sense of the confusion and disempowerment that so many of us have experienced throughout much of our lives. For women, BIPOC, queer, and other marginalized communities, using the Betrayal Trauma lens can offer soothing validation and motivate some necessary righteous indignation.  Caitlin specializes in Betrayal Trauma and Progressive Mormon womanhood. She's currently in her own path in learning to let her freak flag fly and loves helping other women create and wave their own.  Learn more about Caitlin: Courses + Blog Here's the Cut article about badass Jennifer Freyd Caitlin mentioned in the episode. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

The Modern Therapist's Survival Guide with Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy

Therapists Shaming Therapists An interview with Katie Read about therapists shaming each other when they raise their fees or start playing bigger. Curt and Katie talk with Katie about the puritanical culture within the therapist community that leads to group think, public shaming, and milquetoast messaging to mitigate their fear that anything different will be attacked. We look at reasons behind this (jealousy, guilt, shame, and moralism) as well as what therapists can do to step outside of this culture to create more success.   It's time to reimagine therapy and what it means to be a therapist. To support you as a whole person and a therapist, your hosts, Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy talk about how to approach the role of therapist in the modern age. Interview with Katie Read, LMFT, Six Figure Flagship Katie takes lessons from her nearly-20 successful years in the field to help clinicians grow...then OUTgrow...their practices. Immediately upon licensure, Katie was made Director of a large Transitional Aged Youth program in Oakland, CA. Later, she was recruited to Direct one of Sacramento's largest Wraparound Programs, and from there she moved into the role of Director of Clinical Supervision, personally supervising 40+ interns towards licensure. Concurrently, Katie had private practices in multiple cities, taught graduate psychology students, and wrote and created therapist training materials. Katie is also a special needs mom and loves helping other moms tune into their own intuition and lead their best-possible lives by taking the sometimes-scary leap into following what's best for them, deep down. She is the creator of: The Clinician to Coach® Academy, The Clini-Coach® Certification, and the Six-Figure Flagship™ Program. She's a little bit obsessed with helping therapists get profitable doing the creative, out-of-the-box, authentic work you're called to do! In this episode we talk about: How therapists are treating each other The concept of trolling, piling on, shame The Article in the Atlantic – New Puritans – and the concept of the illiberal left How identity plays a role and the group dynamics within therapist Facebook groups The shaming related to increasing your fees Katie Read's origin story as an on the street social work The value placed on sacrifice and avoiding guilt for the difference in privilege when working with clients who are impoverished Socially-prescribed perfectionism, self-imposed perfectionism The fine line about what is acceptable to charge or make as a therapist Cancel culture and the lack of allowance for errors Echo chambers, factions, and exclusion The fear of dissenting opinions The low context of the internet paired with the high context nature of a therapist's job Milquetoast messaging to avoid getting attacked Dialing down authenticity to fit into what is acceptable Challenging our financial mindset Cultural and societal factors that frame us as cheap labor The seeming requirement for therapists to suffer in order to understand our clients The reality of therapists as business owners Therapist guilt for “earning money” Feminized professions and the expectation of doing things out the goodness of our hearts Rapidly changing social rules versus entrenchment in what has been How this identity shift is spilling over into real life Jealousy, guilt, and shame, and moralism The best therapists have the worst impostor syndrome How to navigate when you're a therapist going against the grain The importance of every therapist doing their own money mindset work Our Generous Sponsor: Trauma Therapist Network Trauma is highly prevalent in mental health client populations and people are looking for therapists with specialized training and experience in trauma, but they often don't know where to start. If you've ever looked for a trauma therapist, you know it can be hard to discern who knows what and whether or not they're the right fit for you. There are so many types of trauma and so many different ways to heal. That's why Laura Reagan, LCSW-C created Trauma Therapist Network.  Trauma Therapist Network is a new resource for anyone who wants to learn about trauma and how it shows up in our lives. This new site has articles, resources and podcasts for learning about trauma and its effects, as well as a directory exclusively for trauma therapists to let people know how they work and what they specialize in, so potential clients can find them. Trauma Therapist Network therapist profiles include the types of trauma specialized in, populations served and therapy methods used, making it easier for potential clients to find the right therapist who can help them.  The Network is more than a directory, though. It's a community. All members are invited to attend community meetings to connect, consult and network with colleagues around the country. Join our growing community of trauma therapists and get 20% off your first month using the promo code:  MTSG20 at www.traumatherapistnetwork.com.   Resources mentioned: We've pulled together resources mentioned in this episode and put together some handy-dandy links. Please note that some of the links below may be affiliate links, so if you purchase after clicking below, we may get a little bit of cash in our pockets. We thank you in advance! Katie Read's program: Six Figure Flagship Article in the Atlantic – The New Puritans by Anne Applebaum   Relevant Episodes: Therapist Haters and Trolls Advocacy in the Wake of Looming Mental Healthcare Workforce Shortages In it for the Money? Overcoming Your Poverty Mindset (with Tiffany McLain) Not Your Typical Psychotherapist (with Ernesto Segismundo) How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome to leave your Agency Job (with Patrick Casale)   Connect with us! Our Facebook Group – The Modern Therapists Group  Our consultation services: The Fifty-Minute Hour Who we are: Curt Widhalm is in private practice in the Los Angeles area. He is the cofounder of the Therapy Reimagined conference, an Adjunct Professor at Pepperdine University and CSUN, a former Subject Matter Expert for the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, former CFO of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and a loving husband and father. He is 1/2 great person, 1/2 provocateur, and 1/2 geek, in that order. He dabbles in the dark art of making "dad jokes" and usually has a half-empty cup of coffee somewhere nearby. Learn more at: www.curtwidhalm.com Katie Vernoy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, coach, and consultant supporting leaders, visionaries, executives, and helping professionals to create sustainable careers. Katie, with Curt, has developed workshops and a conference, Therapy Reimagined, to support therapists navigating through the modern challenges of this profession. Katie is also a former President of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In her spare time, Katie is secretly siphoning off Curt's youthful energy, so that she can take over the world. Learn more at: www.katievernoy.com A Quick Note: Our opinions are our own. We are only speaking for ourselves – except when we speak for each other, or over each other. We're working on it. Our guests are also only speaking for themselves and have their own opinions. We aren't trying to take their voice, and no one speaks for us either. Mostly because they don't want to, but hey.   Stay in Touch: www.mtsgpodcast.com www.therapyreimagined.com Our Facebook Group – The Modern Therapist's Group https://www.facebook.com/therapyreimagined/ https://twitter.com/therapymovement https://www.instagram.com/therapyreimagined/   Credits: Voice Over by DW McCann https://www.facebook.com/McCannDW/ Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano http://www.crystalmangano.com/   Transcript (Autogenerated) Curt Widhalm  00:00 This episode is sponsored by Trauma Therapist Network.   Katie Vernoy  00:04 Trauma therapist network is a new resource for anyone who wants to learn about trauma and how it shows up in our lives. This new site has articles, resources and podcasts for learning about trauma and its effects, as well as a directory exclusively for trauma therapists to let people know how they work, and what they specialize in so potential clients can find them. Visit trauma therapist network.com To learn more,   Curt Widhalm  00:27 Listen at the end of the episode for more about the trauma therapist network.   Announcer  00:31 You're listening to the modern therapist Survival Guide, where therapists live, breed and practice as human beings to support you as a whole person and a therapist. Here are your hosts, Kurt Wilhelm and Katie Vernoy.   Curt Widhalm  00:47 Welcome back modern therapists, this is modern therapist Survival Guide. I'm Curt Widhalm with Katie Vernoy. BLEEP you! This is the podcast where we talk about all things therapists, therapy related, therapist communities. And we are talking about the ways that we treat each other and a lot of this happens in the online groups. You know who you are. And   Katie Read  01:20 But do they?   Curt Widhalm  01:22 I think they do. Well, helping us here in this conversation today coming back to the show. Our good friend Katie Read. So before we before we start shaming the shamers.   Katie Vernoy  01:37 For shame!   Curt Widhalm  01:39 Tell us a little bit about yourself and what you're bringing into the world.   Katie Read  01:44 Hi, I'm Katie Read. Thank you for having me back. I missed you guys. We haven't been around here for a while.   Katie Vernoy  01:50 I know!   Katie Read  01:51 Good to be back. Although I did get to see you in person at the conference recently, which was amazing. So anyway, you can find me over at six figure flagship dot com. I do. One of the things that plenty of therapists like to shame, which is encouraging therapists who are creative who had that little spark that maybe someday they want to outgrow the therapist office, I... whispering under my hand here, I help them do that. Lest all the shamers jumped out at us. That's what I do. But I have like you been very active in therapists groups over the last couple years, and been often just shocked by the level of shaming that can happen in these groups. And it's so funny, I don't know about you guys. I've told this to other people, non therapists, like neighbors, friends just being like, Yeah, it's amazing. Those groups, people are astounded to hear that therapists would shame one another like it would never occur to them that therapists would be because they think of us all as being nice and wonderful and accepting and loving and caring and empathic, and all of these things. And I know we all three have had conversations in the background, like why does that fall apart on the internet, and I really do think it's just on the internet. It's not in person. It's just on the internet, but on the internet and therapists group. So not that I have any grand answers for this. But I'm super interested in this conversation today.   Katie Vernoy  03:18 We've talked about this in some ways before, and we'll link to those episodes in the show notes that we've got a therapist, haters and trolls. And there's a couple others, I'll look at them when I'm getting ready to put this together. But to me, I think the biggest thing that I see that that has always been shocking to me is the the piling on, that happens at someone put something out there, it becomes given that that is wrong and bad. And somebody has an opinion that this is wrong and bad. And then there's the defenders, but then there are the piler on-ers, is that is that a word? The people that then cosign on this negative information. And then all of a sudden, it's like the snowball effect. And there's like, hundreds of comments, and you are horrible and all of this stuff. And I think that there is an element of this that I think we do want to call people out when they're doing things that are harmful. I think the the criteria for what is harmful sometimes feels a little bit wiggly to me   Curt Widhalm  04:26 I kind of started looking at this more from just kind of a an academic approach. And what sparked this, for me was an article in The Atlantic called the new Puritans by Anne Applebaum. And it's an incredible article, we'll link to it in the show notes. But it starts to talk about the illiberal left, which many therapists politically identify in kind of this political compass of the left side. And what happens in echo chambers like there pice groups is that it becomes many people coming with a desire for positive social change and social mores are changing that. We've seen this happen not only in society, but in our field over the last 20 years. But what happens seemingly is, we're developing this this collective identity in these groups that becomes part of our own identities and seeing other people acting even slightly different than how we would act ends up becoming almost there's harm to our own self identity that needs to be processed and spoken out against when it comes to things like, hey, I want to raise my fees on my clients by $5 per session.   Katie Read  05:51 I find this one absolutely fascinating because I, I don't think I've ever seen a post go by in a group where a therapist has said, Hey, I'm thinking about raising my fees, and have not gotten at least some very heavy negativity thrown their way. Which is so fascinating to me. Because if you step back and you look at any career on Earth, we assume about every human being in the world, that you will always be on a quest to kind of step up to the next level in your career step up to the next level in your income. This is understood if anyone tells you they've gotten a raise, they've gotten a promotion, you say congrats, that's great. When therapists who are self employed, who have only themselves to answer to they are their own bosses, and when they say it's time for my yearly raise, and I have earned my yearly raise this year, and they attempt to give it to themselves, what do the therapist communities often do? Jump in with really crazy stuff really crazy? Oh, I don't know, I didn't get into this career to make money. I couldn't imagine putting my clients under that kind of strange, just really, really deeply shaming words coming at them. And I find it fascinating. You know, and I'm not exactly sure where it comes from. But it's interesting, because in prepping for this podcast, I was thinking about my early days as an intern and, and I do wonder, probably, at least for me, this was part of it. I spent many years even before I went to grad school, I was doing social work type roles in very, very, very impoverished areas. And then during grad school, I was working with foster kids. And then after grad school, I was an on the street social worker in inner city, Oakland, with teenagers and young adults, most of whom were homeless, or they were sex workers or drug addicts, gang members, like Oh, terrible, really difficult lives, right, like really terrible life situations. And I was dead broke, that job paid next to nothing, it was an internship job. And in a way, coming home to my crappy apartment, where people got mugged right outside in broad daylight and eating my ramen noodles, because that was all I could afford. I didn't have to feel so guilty going into work the next day, because my life was certainly better than my clients lives were at that time. But it was still rough, like things were still rough at my end. And I wonder if I remember at the time, I would say to people, I would say, this is the hardest work you can imagine doing. But if you can do it, you just have to do it. Because these people just need the help. And they need the support. And they need people on the street. And I had this very grand idea of what it was to be an on the street social worker doing that kind of work, and, and staying poor for it. And oh, it took me a long, long time to realize that I had to put the air mask on myself first, you know, like on the plane, like it took me a very long time to come to that change. But I wonder if some part of that for a lot of us does start because I think many of us do start in those types of jobs, those types of internships where you're seeing such poverty, you're seeing such difficult lives and you do feel a guilt around that.   Curt Widhalm  08:57 Even in your story here. Part of what I'm hearing is you lead that off with this is unique to therapists. So you're already framing this as part of therapist identity means that you have to do these certain things. Look at the shame that we put on people who go straight from grad school into private practice, like they are bypassing part of that identity. And, you know, the echoes of the criticisms is, well, that's such a privileged place to come from that you didn't have to go through this with all of these other clients. And a big part of that is in this identity becomes this thing called socially prescribed perfectionism that you must do this because what you're doing reflects on me and in combination with socially prescribed perfectionism comes this self imposed perfectionism that I must act this way. Yeah. And if other people whose identities reflects on the same way as mine And that's not how I see myself doing, I have to deal with that internal conflict, and it's much easier to tear you down than it is for me to wrestle with. All right, you do you and I'll do me and we'll both potentially help out the people that we're best suited to help out with.   Katie Read  10:19 That's so interesting. And it's so true. And I wonder. So like, I'm thinking about the people who I did know from grad school who came from different backgrounds who did go straight into private practice and whatnot. And you do wonder, do they feel any of that guilt? Do they carry any of that with them? Does that bounce off of them that they're like, what I was doing exactly what you just said, Curt, like what I was meant to do, I was helping the people I was meant to help. This is where I'm well suited. It's just interesting.   Katie Vernoy  10:45 And it's, it's something where this idea of perfectionism what what resonated for me was this, it's very thinly defined. And not only have I heard the, the negative backlash around charging a high fee, and and I don't know, necessarily that I've seen a lot of the negative feedback with I'm raising my fee by $5 Next year, but it's anybody that has a premium fee gets roasted. And anyone that talks about charging very little or being on insurance panels, also gets roasted, because you're undervaluing the profession, you're, you're making it harder for me to make money. And so there's this really fine line of what's acceptable,   Katie Read  11:27 Acceptable, huh.   Katie Vernoy  11:28 And so this this perfectionism around, I can't, I can't make too much, but I also can't charge too little. It just it feels very crazy making. And I think this, this notion of we're trying to validate our own identity through making everyone else be like us, or like, what the collective has decided is okay, feels kind of scary.   Curt Widhalm  11:57 And the extension of this goes beyond just, you know, the parent comments in some of these, these groups, that there becomes almost this effort to cancel people across multiple posts, that there seems to be so little room for error, and especially in late, like I said, social mores changing of, you know, a lot of the things that I see is, you know, not doing the emotional work or not doing the education work for other therapists who are potentially asking questions around things like critical race theory and involving, you know, wonderment about communities that they might not have experience with that. While there is validity on both sides is I've seen some of this extension go across, you know, bringing up these kinds of arguments across separate posts across separate days, weeks, even months, that his efforts towards this cancel culture esque type thing that serves to only make this problem even worse, by creating even stronger echo chambers of we're only going to listen to people who think exactly like us. And what ends up happening is we get these factions of, you know, well, here's the group of like minded people who sit over here. And here's the group of like minded people who sit over here, and here's the people who are okay with microwaving fish in the office, and they're okay in their own corner. But then it just makes it to where it's uninviting for anybody to have any kind of a dissenting opinion. Because and this is particular to the internet groups that you brought up. Here at the beginning, Katie, internet culture is very, very low context. And therapists are very, very high context people. This is a sociological phenomenon, that high context is understanding people where they're coming from, you know, we spend years studying how to get the high context of our clients. And we're used to communicating with people in this very, very high context sort of way. And then you get like one paragraph on a Facebook post to be able to try and explain something to somebody else. And it's just this very, really low context like fast moving group of people who kind of opt in and opt out but aren't consistently there. That makes it really enticing to pick on well, you're missing all of these high context things that just it's critical, and it's something that because of internet culture, therapists aren't used to having to receive information in that low context sort of way in embracing how we communicate online. Mind. In other words, we think that we're really smart in some areas of our life, and therefore all areas of our life should be really smart. But the internet is not that place.   Katie Read  15:11 And the internet dumbs us down. Well, it's interesting. And a moment ago, I just lost my train of thought you had said something a moment ago that   Curt Widhalm  15:18 I do that to people.   Katie Vernoy  15:20 Just keep talking, it's   Katie Read  15:22 10 minutes back. There was something I just lost it   Katie Vernoy  15:27 Well, keep thinking because I had something you know, a few minutes back when you were talking about your, your experience as kind of an on the on the streets, social worker and having to overcome that self imposed identity around if I am not so privileged, I don't feel guilty going to work. How did you work to overcome that? Because I think we're looking at being shamed for it. And and you did it within that culture, like I know, that I would imagine you have probably been shamed for for what you do, as you know, a six figure flagship even having that is so money title. So right, having the right so and so actually, how do you how have you gotten through it, I guess.   Katie Read  16:12 Yeah. And I can tell my story, but it's interesting, because you just reminded me of what Curt had said that I had wanted to comment on. Because it's all related. You had to Curt the end. And even Katie had said previously, there's this very narrow band of what kind of therapists are willing to accept as appropriate. And because the echo chambers are loud, and because the pile on culture is intense, within therapists groups, what happens is people are terrified to speak. And so we end up with very very milquetoast messaging. That doesn't challenge that doesn't potentially disagree, we end up with people who only want a message in ways that they will not be attacked for because as we all know, it's very painful and scary. If someone's coming at you online, some stranger online and other people are piling on and everyone would love to avoid ever having that situation. So we dial down what is true, what is authentic, what is important, we dial it down into what we hope will fit this narrow little brass band of appropriateness. And it's interesting like us, for me, it took me years and years. I mean, I eventually went from we eventually moved my husband and I to a different town, I opened up a small private practice. And it's funny, I was one of those therapists, and I was in California, where therapy rates are high. But I was the person where I was charging $90 an hour. And I was the person who set it like this, when a new client came in or called me and said, What's your fee? I went? Well, it's 90. But I can slide I can slide. What do you need, I mean, I can do whatever you need, I can really I get whatever you need, whatever you need, like that was me all the time. Because again, I was still carrying this guilt, about even charging that much and feeling like well, I couldn't even afford to go see me for therapy. So how can I think somebody else's, I was very much in my clients pockets. And what was really interesting was, I had been in this office for a while, you know, I rented my time other people came in and out. And there were several interns in the office, all supervised by this one supervisor. And I was speaking with one of the interns when we were crossing paths one day, and at this point, I had been a licensed therapist. For years, I had worked my way through community mental health up to being a program director, I had taught grad school, I had done all these things. And I was still charging this low rate because of my own internal money issues. And this intern, I don't know how we got on the subject. But she said, Oh, yeah, our supervisor now she was still in grad school. There's a person in her first year of grad school, an intern seeing clients. And she said, Well, our supervisor won't let us start any lower than 125 as our hourly rate, we're not allowed to slide under that they were private pay 125 for the interns. And my mind was blown. That here I was with years of experience behind me years of training behind me. And I it really in that moment hit me I was like I am doing this wrong. I am absolutely doing this wrong. And I need to start working on this. And some of it was working on my money mindset, honestly, for me, doing what I eventually did and wanting to outgrow the office that was motivated by different things like we moved states and then I wasn't licensed for a year while I went through the licensure process in a new state. So my path out of the office and outgrowing the office was sort of organic. It wasn't a pre plan type of thing. It just happened that I moved into coaching and ended up loving it. But within the coaching world, you really really get challenged very quickly on your financial mindset. And you really actually learn very quickly that the norm in the rest of the world is if you bring great value into someone's life, you are well paid for it. And we therapists continually underestimate the great, great, transformative, wildly important value that we bring into people lives. And whether you choose to continue to do it in the context of therapy or to write a book, or to go on a speaking tour to do any of the number of things that therapists can go out in the world, and do, we do by virtue of our passion, our education, all of these things, we bring great value we bring about great transformation in people's lives, and in most of the rest of the world, that would be naturally richly rewarded. But because of sort of the culture, and I honestly think part of it is just the culture of how government even is set up that we need to be able to have cheap labor to go out and work with the people who need help the most. And so many of us, like we said, started off in community mental health in some form, or in schools, which are very underfunded just, we start off as sort of cheap labor. And it's hard to get out of that mindset that we should always remain just cheap labor, or that what we do is not that highly valued in society where, of course, I don't know about you, I remember, every therapist I've had, and I remember them dearly. And they were hugely impactful at those times in my life, and every one of your clients and everybody out there listening. It's the exact same way, you're hugely impactful.   Curt Widhalm  21:14 You know, as I'm listening to this, and going back to that piece by Anne Applebaum, she makes mention of The Scarlet Letter as kind of this this parallel of what's going on with the liberal left. And the thing about this is one of that one of the major themes from the scarlet letter is the the priest who impregnates Hester, I'm forgetting his name right offhand. But he is seen as more virtuous because his sermons have so much empathy, from his own sins that there's almost this parallel what's going on with the groups here that we're seeing of like, we have suffered this injustice. And therefore we're better at what we do in relating to our clients, because we've done this. And especially when it comes to things like privilege and fees in this kind of stuff. It's like, you're, you're not able to relate to your clients as well. Because you haven't done this suffering, and you haven't done this, and therefore, you must suffer in order to be able to be a better therapist.   Katie Read  22:21 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's so interesting, isn't it. And so as some of that just coming down, is that just back to that therapist skills, we were talking just today, I had my meeting with my folks in my clinic coach, six figure flagship, and we were talking, there's one therapist, she's putting an unbelievable amount of work into an event that she's producing just probably hundreds of hours of her labor is going into this work. It's a passion project. She's so excited about it. And she came to the group and she said, I'm donating all the proceeds to charity. And I was like,   Katie Vernoy  22:56 Oh, wow.   Katie Read  22:59 And so we really, we took it apart a lot, like we coach through it a lot in the group. And today in our meeting, and I was, like, you know, like part of this here is that we are also business owners. And when you put in hundreds of hours of unpaid labor on something, you actually need to retain at least the majority of your profits, so that you can reinvest them into your own business, so that you can stay afloat, have savings of money for like all the things that we need to do. But really, to me, what I was hearing was therapist skill was I don't want it to look to anyone, like I'm trying to actually make any money. I want it to look like out of the goodness of my heart, I'm putting on this big event for all my fellow therapists to learn and grow. But God forbid someone think I might earn money from doing this. Yeah. And so it's just it was fascinating, because I don't think there's any other profession, where they would even consider for a minute giving every single bit of all this labor, all this unpaid labor straight to charity, without a second thought, maybe with many second thoughts, but feeling like this is what I should do.   Katie Vernoy  24:05 Yeah, yeah, I just I think about teachers, I think about oftentimes nurses, part of it is kind of feminized professions do have this this impact where the majority of the folks in those professions are non male. And so there is an expectation, this is something we should be doing out of the goodness of our hearts. And it seems very mercenary if we would ask for money for it. You know, there are, you know, during the pandemic, these poor teachers, were finally getting recognition for what they actually do for folks' kids. But as soon as you know, even even well into the pandemic I started to get because I work with some teachers. I was started hearing that people were complaining that the teachers weren't doing enough and we're paying their salaries and why aren't they doing enough? And it's like, whoa, you know, or if they go on strike that is just heartless. So it's heartless. And it's kind of like would you work for the salary that they work for? And then we've seen the same with the Kaiser therapists. That was one of the things that happened. We see the same with nurses.   Curt Widhalm  25:11 I mean, our episode, recently where we talked about, you know, let's just throw more Subway sandwiches at therapists,   Katie Vernoy  25:19 workforce shortage at episode that we just put up.   Curt Widhalm  25:21 Yeah, it's just it's throwing more Subway sandwiches at therapists because, you know, how dare you ask for money. And part of this is as a field that our median age is higher than many other fields. And that anytime that we have a field that has rapidly changing social rules to it, it makes it to where, especially with fields that are older, like ours, the entrenchment becomes a lot more rigid. And so I think that that's contributing to part of this, too, is that there's, there's this almost cultural battle that we're facing within our field that is leading to a new identity. And if we're honest about it, we contribute to that a lot here in the podcast, we do call out things that we don't like, including calling out other therapists calling out other therapists. So we do encourage you to let us know your thoughts and feelings on this publicly in any of the therapist groups. But this happens, systemically it happens individually as well. And, you know, I do see this happening outside of the therapist groups, and actually it is spilling over into in real life as well. To hearing this, you know, from some of the practices, hiring people, where I think rightfully, employees entering into the workforce are asking for living wages. And it is a power balance shifts that is leading to things like some of the workforce shortages that we talked about in the other episode.   Katie Read  27:14 Let me ask you, Curt, because as you were talking about sort of the field being a little bit older, in terms of median age and whatnot, I wonder, and I'm curious, just either of your thoughts on this. Do you feel like so let's say you are out there, whatever age you are, really, but you're a therapist, you've kind of become acclimated to the 50k a year therapist average median income, you've kind of surrendered yourself to the fact that you have a very hard job that you can't talk to anyone about, that you are bound by ethics and confidentiality, that you don't get to come home and vent about your day, you have to keep a lot of things bottled up. And at the same time, you know, you're probably worried every month, if you have a $400 car bill this month, it's gonna throw you over the edge, you're not going to have a cushion for that. And then you go into a therapist group, and you see somebody who says, I charge 200 an hour in my area, and I'm doing great and everything's fine. Do you think part of this backlash is just that feeling of threat, that you can't do that or that you haven't chosen that or that you haven't gone to do whatever it is you need to do internally, whatever that sort of money work is that you need to do to actually start charging closer to your worth as an experienced person in the field?   Curt Widhalm  28:30 Absolutely. 100% think that a lot of where we socially prescribe other therapists to be comes from our own anecdotal histories. And our inability is to deal with our own crap when it comes to our relationships to money, our relationships to our professional identities, that and, you know, this even happens in things that I see like in law ethics workshops, that I teach that it's not even just about money thing, but just how much we distance ourselves from other people who make mistakes. You know, if somebody's name shows up in the spider pages, the disciplinary actions, how quickly are to just like, unfriend them or take them off of our LinkedIn connections? Even if it's something that might points closer to us, you know, you see this and things like people who admit to not being caught up on their notes and just kind of the furthering away, you know, these are ethical and legal responsibilities that we have in our profession. And as compassionate people we tend to have very little compassion for the other people in our profession. When they don't do the same kinds of steps that we think that we should be doing or have been doing all along ourselves.   Katie Vernoy  29:52 You're really saying jealousy, guilt and shame.   Curt Widhalm  29:54 Yes!   Katie Vernoy  29:56 Because I think of like the especially I think with the environment around you, Katie, which is like the six figure flagship, it's people outgrowing the office, it's that kind of notion of very successful, you know, I'm going to make a lot of money, I'm going to, I'm going to live a life. And and you don't argue that that comes easily. I saw your post on kind of hustle seasons. And so I appreciate that. But I think that there's this notion that you can work really hard, create something that's more sustainable and make a lot of money. And I think there's a jealousy there, either of the energy that you personally have. I know I'm jealous of your energy. And then there's also the success that people have, I think there's a jealousy there. And so then it's that kind of like, well, I didn't want it anyway, like that. That's wrong, because I don't think I can get it. I'm jealous that you have it. And so I don't really want it. And this, there's all of these moral reasons and moralizing around why I don't want it. I think what you're talking about Curt is kind of this guilt and shame over, I've been doing things wrong. I can't do that, because it goes against these self imposed values and morals that I've put around being a hard worker, that is one of the people and I am not going to I'm not in this for the money. And I'm doing this because it's so valuable. And even thinking about money is so mercenary and wrong. And so there's that guilt and shame of wanting more, but feeling like it goes against either the collective morals or the personal morals. And so to me, it's like if we think about guilt, shame, and jealousy, I mean, the fact that there is so many of those emotions that come out in these public shreddings, in these social media groups or on pages or whatever, like it just it seems strange to me, that therapist would would have those in such huge, huge, impactful ways.   Katie Read  31:54 It's interesting, too, because I was just putting together a workshop where we talked about how typically the best therapists tend to have the worst imposter syndrome. And I think imposter syndrome falls into what you're talking about, and the fact that because we all tend to be pretty intellectual, pretty academic, you know, even those of us who are super heart led, we all still have like our little academic streak. And I think that we all walk around with this belief that if I am not the top researcher in a particular field, I have nothing to say it's very black and white. If I am not the absolute most published person in this particular theory, I should just sit down and shut up, I know nothing, as opposed to being able to see all the gradients, being able to see all of the expertise that everyone has and that you can bring in that could benefit so many more people. If you were brave enough to kind of fight your own imposter syndrome. Stand up, talk about what you know, help even more people that way.   Katie Vernoy  32:55 Yeah.   Katie Read  32:56 But we get very caught in that. Because this will not win a Pulitzer, I might as well not even write it. I might as well not even try it. And I just want what's the point? What's   Katie Vernoy  33:06 and and how dare you, other person that is doing this? How dare you do that? Because I've decided, even though I may have more knowledge than you   Katie Read  33:17 Yes,   Katie Vernoy  33:17 that I'm not good enough to speak on it. So how dare you!   Katie Read  33:20 How dare you? Exactly. Oh, isn't that so true. And I do think this is what we see play out in therapists groups. And I do think it's terribly sad, because at the end of the day, to me, I always think the lay public are the only losers here. Because when you choose to not speak out, when you choose to not share what you know, when you choose to not be open and vulnerable, and who you are, and say, I know I might not be the world renowned expert on XYZ. But let me tell you a little bit about what I do know, because you might think it's interesting. And I think the thing a lot of therapists don't realize because we're sort of taught to write dissertation style for everything is that the average person doesn't want that. They do want the little tidbit. They do want the little micro snippet that you pulled from an interesting article you read that you couldn't get out of your mind yesterday, share that that's what they want to because it'll get into their head too and it'll help them in their life just like it helps you they don't need your full scope dissertation on anything.   Katie Vernoy  34:19 Yeah.   Curt Widhalm  34:20 So is the answer and stop hanging out with other therapists?   Katie Read  34:29 I don't know let's vote should we go around and vote? I you know it's interesting though, you I definitely think it's something that we talk about in our group is that we talked about how when you even when I when I first started doing the most basic stuff, offering like copywriting for therapists offering basic marketing for therapists in this tiny little way like putting a post on Facebook Hey, need help with your copywriting? You know, these tiny little ways? I had rude people I had predicted people I know going well that's never gonna go anywhere. What are you even doing? Why are you doing that? And so I just want all my students like any time, you are going against the grain a little bit breaking the mold a little bit of what it means to be a helping professional, because what I believe at the end of the day is what you call it doesn't matter as much as what you're actually doing. Are you out there helping people in some form? Is your internal calling to be out there helping people in some form? Great, are you doing it? If you are, and if you feel good and authentic, and you know that you are living out your calling that you are truly helping people in some form? Does it matter if you call it therapy today, and maybe tomorrow, it's consulting, and you have consulting clients, and maybe the next day you build an online course where you help people and maybe you go speak at a school the next day, doesn't matter what form it's in, that you're helping people as long as you are authentically helping people what you were called to do, does the name matter? So you can hang out with a therapist like that. Kurt,   Katie Vernoy  36:00 I hear you saying that hanging out with therapists who have that broader perspective that aren't so tied into the Puritan culture is probably helpful for folks that are really coming, that are pushing against the grain in some way. And and I really resonate with that, because I think that's, that's why we found each other and   Katie Read  36:18 That's what you've done   Katie Vernoy  36:22 We've been trying, you know, we don't we don't avoid the purity culture, we just try to push back against it. But I think it's, it's something where when you're really trying to step out and help people in a bigger way, it is, it is important that you find the right people to spend time with because you can get tamped down by purity culture,   Katie Read  36:40 You can. Well, and I should say this, like for a lot of us, I know for me, when I was I think it is important for therapists to do money work on ourselves, go read the self help books, go, you know, sign up with Tiffany...   Curt Widhalm  36:53 GO DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!   Katie Read  36:58 I think it's important to do that. And I think it's important to hang out with people who get it and have done it. And I think for all of us to, there is a way that you can feel good about what you charge and feel good about what you give back. And that that is going to be different for everyone, whether it's that you do a couple free or cheap sessions every single week, or you give a certain amount to charity every year, like whatever that looks like for you. You can still set this up in a way where you're not going to feel like a greedy bastard, for earning a good living where you still know that you are I mean, for me, when I started outgrowing the office, honestly, my entire motivation was security. My husband worked at a large multinational corporation that was doing layoffs, rolling layoffs every single month. And every single month, it felt like we were going to be any minute we were going to be homeless because he was going to get laid off. And that was the bread and butter of the family. And what then and all I really wanted was some security. And so that drove me and I was like I said we had moved states. And so I didn't have a license in my new state. I couldn't just go open a therapy office, it drove me to get creative and do something else. But I think when your motivation comes from that, like there's, I don't know, a lot of therapists who are like, I'm gonna go get rich so that I can have seven maaser body it's like, it's just not who we are, you know, like, that's just not what we're doing here.   Katie Vernoy  38:16 Well, we do have to end here, but but I think we also if there is a therapist that wants to get ready to get seven Montserrado for months, seven months. Go for it do. So before we close up, where can people find you?   Katie Read  38:30 Six Figure flagship.com is the main program that we run right now it's an application only program for mental health therapists who do want to outgrow the office, that is the best place to find me. And otherwise, I'll just be kind of hanging out with you guys.   Katie Vernoy  38:44 I love it. Always again, it   Curt Widhalm  38:47 We will include a link to Katie's websites in our show notes. You can find those over at MTS g podcast.com. And follow us on our social media join our Facebook groups modern therapists group and   Katie Read  39:01 Or we will shame you.    Curt Widhalm  39:03 we actually have a really good group that seems to   Katie Read  39:08 No I said we will shame them for not joining it, we find them.   Curt Widhalm  39:14 Some we will post those links and until next time, I'm Curt Widhalm with Katie Vernoy And Katie Read.   Katie Vernoy  39:20 Thanks again to our sponsor, Trauma Therapist Network.   Curt Widhalm  39:24 If you've ever looked for a trauma therapist, you can know it can be hard to discern who knows what and whether or not they're the right fit for you. There's so many types of trauma and so many different ways to heal. That's why Laura Reagan LCSW WC created trauma therapist network. Trauma therapist network therapist profiles include the types of trauma specialized in population served therapy methods used, making it easier for potential clients to find the right therapist who can help them. Network is more than a directory though it's a community. All members are invited to attend community meetings to connect consults and network with colleagues around the country.   Katie Vernoy  40:01 Join the growing community of trauma therapists and get 20% off your first month using the promo code MTSG20. At trauma therapist network.com Once again that's capital MTSG, the number 20 at Trauma therapist network.com   Announcer  40:17 Thank you for listening to the modern therapist Survival Guide. Learn more about who we are and what we do at MTS g podcast.com. You can also join us on Facebook and Twitter. And please don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any of our episodes.

Brave Marriage Podcast
Relationships...In the Beginning - Ep. 136

Brave Marriage Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2021 36:37


In the beginning, God was good. He created us for intimacy, co-dominion, and co-stewardship of His creation. Male-female relationships and marriage may have gotten distorted after the Fall, but in the beginning, it was not so. Listen in to hear what Genesis 1-3 has to say about God Himself; God's original design for humanity; and God's plan for salvation following the consequences of sin. You might be surprised to learn what's actually in the creation narratives…and what's not. If you've learned something new here and are enjoying this series on “Marriage, Mutuality, and Gender Roles,” please leave a rating & review!Podcasting by: Kensi Duszynski, MA, LMFT, CPCEditing by: Evan Duszynski, MAMusic by: John TibbsFULL TRANSCRIPT:Welcome back to the Brave Marriage Podcast! Thank you so much for your earnest desire to grow as individuals, do marriage with intention, and live a mutually empowered, purposeful life in Christ. I'm really glad to be working my way through this series with you and really encouraged by some of the conversations I've been having lately. In upcoming weeks, we will get into a few interviews where we'll dive more deeply into marriage and mutuality, but today, we're covering marriage in the Creation account and after the Fall. I believe last episode, I said I'd cover Ephesians 5 as well, but that was a little ambitious, I found, and so that episode will drop on Monday, November 29th. And the reason I wanted to include these biblical teachings in a series on marriage, mutuality, and gender roles, is because I think for many of us, we've heard these passages so much that we often don't even hear them for what they actually say, or we hear these verses so piece-milled to prove a point, that we don't even understand their context. So what I'm hoping is that the questions posed in the last episode encouraged you toward your own reading of Scripture, because today, we'll be diving into it together with fresh eyes and ears. Let's start by taking a look at the Creation accounts in Genesis 1 and 2: Genesis 1:26-31 says:“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' [So notice, when God says, ‘let us make man in our image, and after our likeness,' He's referring to the relationality between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—whom we know as the Triune God. The word man used there is adam in Hebrew, and the them is ha'adam in Hebrew. It's plural for humanity or mankind. And Scripture says that God made humans to have dominion over the earth and other created creatures—not dominion over each other.]So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. [In other words, from the Hebrew, God created mankind, in the image of God he created mankind; male and female he created mankind.]And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.' And God said, ‘Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.' And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.”So in the first creation narrative, here in chapter 1, we have the Creator God, who in the Hebrew in chapter one, is referred to as Elohim. Elohim, God, we're told, created the earth and humanity in His image. And compared to other creation accounts at the time, this God was described quite differently. For one, He was one—3-in-1; secondly, He was a good God; and third, He was a relational God, completely unified within Himself. In chapter 1, we're zoomed out a bit, seeing how this all-powerful, relational-within-and-between-Himself God created the entire universe. If you can, imagine a movie that begins with a look at earth from outer space. From this aerial vantage point, we see that this God completed His work with the creation of humanity, instructing them to be fruitful, to multiply, to create, to rule, to subdue, and take care of the earth He created. And only after God created male and female—humans in His image—and instructed them to steward the earth for His glory, did this Creator God proclaim His creation “very good.”Here's how I read that: In contrast to other renderings of the text I've heard, woman isn't the epitome or the icing on the cake of creation, nor is man the “cake” itself, or instructed to bear the weight of the world alone. It wasn't the man or woman whom God called very good; rather, it was the fullness of His image and His instructions to man and woman to be like Him (relational beings who were to be procreative and co-creative and stewards of His creation) that God called very good. But even more important than that, in my view, is the point of chapter one, the reason why males and females have meaning and purpose and see themselves in this story at all, and it's this: in contrast to other beliefs about creation and different deities, the Hebrew people believed in a relational, monotheistic, Triune God who wasn't afraid or threatened to create humanity in His own image, as other gods are portrayed, who valued human life so as not to engage in human sacrifice, as other religions did, and who created both man and woman with free will, whereas other creation narratives cite the creation of woman as a necessary evil, the gods' punishment to men for their arrogance. Instead, the God of the Bible is loving toward His creation, values human life, gives humans free will, and instructs both men and women to rule, fill, and subdue the earth. This is a story about an all-powerful deity who created man and woman to be in relationship, to bear the fullness of His image, including, in how we act upon the created earth together. Now, as we take a look at the second creation account in Genesis 2:15-25, I want you to imagine we're zooming in, moving from a distant view of the earth or an aerial view of the earth, to a zoomed-in, up-close, and personal look at the creation of man and woman. So imagine, revisiting the creation of humanity on the sixth day, and this time, we'll get to know God not just as Creator and relational-within-Himself, but as the personal God of Israel, who is also very much relational-with-us. Starting with verse 15: “The LORD God [that is, Yahweh Elohim] took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.' Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' [Why? Because as we saw in chapter 1, God is a relational God and we are created in His image. Verse 19…] “Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them [right, here we get this picture of a personal God who meets the man, who brings things to Adam to see what he will name them. It's like God is delighting to watch Adam create as God had instructed him to.] And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.”Meaning, he was creating and ruling and stewarding the earth alone, outside of a relationship with someone like him. But remember, in Genesis 1:26-31, God did not call creation completed until male and female were both created and both co-creating.Now in Hebrew, a ‘helper fit' or a ‘helper suitable' is translated as ezer kenegdo, meaning “a strength, an aid, or an ally who is like”, not a help who is subpar or who does a husband's bidding. I was in a book club a few years ago where a woman, a pastor's wife, shared that back when her husband was pastoring, they attended a marriage conference for pastors and pastors' wives, where the speaker likened the husband-wife relationship to the relationship between a CEO and his executive assistant. But if the speaker had taken a look at the Hebrew, rather than just putting his own capitalistic cultural spin on the text, he would have discovered that the word helper, or ezer in Hebrew, is used 21 different times in the Old Testament to describe God's strength and aid to Israel! So I can hardly imagine that what God had in mind when He said, ‘I will make an ezer who is suitable to, and like Adam,' is a female secretary for Adam. Furthermore, if God Himself is an ezer, and if the Trinity is 3-in-1, equal in power and glory, this has significant implications for the way men and women are to partner to bear the fullness of His image. Let's keep going, verse 21…“So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman [ishah in Hebrew], because she was taken out of Man [ish in Hebrew].' Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”As I read this, God delights to see the man respond to the woman He places in front of him. The animals got named; the woman got a poem in verse 23, which is what that indentation represents in your Bible as you read it. And the man essentially says, “at last, I have a help who is like, yet somehow, different from me, so that now, I am fully created in the image of God because now, I am in relationship, not just with God, but also with someone like me—a help who is like me.” And jumping back to Genesis 1:28, this is where God blesses mankind. This is where God gives His instructions to humanity to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, while ruling over the earth and its creatures. So in the garden, in God's perfect plan for creation and for humanity, there is intimacy—between God and humanity, between man and woman, between husband and wife. There is love, there is relationship, and there is procreativity, co-creativity, and co-dominion over other created creatures, but not over each other.This is Eden. This is the picture of male-female relationality, of co-leadership in respect to the earth, and of co-servanthood in respect to God. Right? God did not create us for hubris, dictatorship, or human oppression on the one hand, nor did He create us for self-degradation, powerlessness, or purposelessness on the other; he created us for intimacy, relationship, and mutual empowerment as we co-labor with Him and with each other. But then, we get to chapter 3 and everything goes awry. The serpent enters the picture, man and woman sin, the woman is deceived, the man says nothing and blames Eve, and the consequences of the Fall enter in. Let's take a look at Genesis 3 from the New American Standard Version.“Now the serpent was more cunning than any animal of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God really said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?”Notice here, the contrast between the writer of Genesis, who cites the personal name of God, Yahweh, or LORD God, and the serpent, who refers to God as Elohim, God rather than LORD God. Right, the serpent, representative of Satan, is even deceptive in his language, distancing the woman from God in the way that he's framing Him, even before casting doubt as to what God said. So she then picks up his language. “The woman said to the serpent, ‘From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'”The serpent said to the woman, “You certainly will not die! For God knows that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will become like God, knowing good and evil.”When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband with her, and he ate.”Now, we have the gift of hindsight and more importantly, Jesus, to help us see where Eve went wrong here, and what led man and woman to sin. As John recounted in 1 John 2:16, it was “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life” that led Eve, and Adam, to sin—these things, we're told as not coming from the Father but rather, from the world.So the strategy I see in the serpent here is: 1) Create discomfort and discontentment. 2) Create distance between God and His people by twisting the Word of God. 3) Lure them in with worldly things (the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life) and lead them to doubt God's good plan, nature, words, and intentions toward them. 4) Wait for them to choose disconnection and disobedience to the LORD God, their personal connection to the Father. And what's wild is that we see this same old strategy that satan used with the woman, used with Jesus, in Mark chapter 4. Before Jesus began his earthly ministry, he was led into the wilderness and tempted by the devil himself. And after 40 days and nights of fasting and growing weak in the flesh, the devil starts into Jesus. First, he tempted Jesus by questioning His relationship and sonship to the Father, saying in Mark 4:3: “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread”—the lust of the flesh. But amazingly, in His hunger (at least to me, because I am good for nothing when I'm hungry, just ask my husband) Jesus said to his tempter: “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes out of the mouth of God.'” Second, the devil tempted Jesus by asking him to stand on the pinnacle of the temple in the holy city, saying:“If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down; for after all, You know it is written that ‘God will give His angels orders concerning You…On their hands they will lift You up, so that You don't even strike Your foot against a stone”—the boastful pride of life. But not pulling one past Jesus, Jesus replied: “On the other hand, it is written: ‘You shall not put the LORD your God to the test.” And third, Mark 4:8 says that: “Again, the devil took Him along to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory; and he said to Jesus, ‘All these things I will give You, if You fall down and worship me'—the lust of the eyes. But thankfully, Jesus said to him, ‘Go away, Satan! For it is written: ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.'”So Jesus shows us what could've been said here, by the man or the woman in the garden, seeing as how they were both right there when the serpent made his case. They could have said: “Serpent, we have everything we need, every green plant and tree for food, not to mention a perfect, loving relationship with God.” They could have said, “on the other hand,” like Jesus did, “God told us to be fruitful and have dominion over the earth, not to be ruled by it.” They could have said, “Go away, Satan! For God has created us, blessed us, instructed us to be like Him!” But they didn't. And so, jumping back into Genesis 3:7…“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.Now they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.So there they were, having been emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and volitionally disobedient to God, after first being distanced and distracted from Him…and here comes God in His personal, present nature (noting the shift in language back to the use of LORD God, Yahweh Elohim) desiring to talk with them and be in relationship with them both. Verse 3:9:“Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?”Okay, God knew where the man was, but because He's a personal God, He wanted the man to show himself.He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.”Now, someone recently told me that what they've primarily been taught about these few verses goes something like this, “Who does God come to after Adam and Eve sin? Does God come to the woman? No, He comes to the man to take ownership for his family. So men, God is going to come to you and expect you to take responsibility for your wife and kids. That is your job.” But a few things to note about this widespread spin on Scripture: 1) This is a wild extrapolation out from the text and what it actually says. 2) Telling men to be men of God and to lead their families toward kingdom-living is one thing. But it's really easy to move from a posture of, “Men, let's be intentional about making disciples of the next generation” to “Men, you should be ashamed of yourselves and better for your wife and kids.” The message of the Gospel is that the Son of God died and was resurrected for us all, to free us up to co-lead, as God originally intended, and to free us up from the weight of our sin and guilt to shame so that we might live more fully and freely in Christ, with that translating into our families, not a message of guilt and shame. And listen, this is a spiritual formation issue for those spreading this message. So whoever is spreading these messages without really thinking about what's being communicated to men, can we please stop teaching men (and women) that this is the Gospel? Christ did not die for good Christian men to give themselves a hard time and try to man up as if, on the other side of redemption, they still need to earn God's respect, love, or approval of their worth (because God has already given it)! Christ also died that men and women, husbands and wives, might have a chance at healthy, intimate relationship again, as before the Fall, through Him—not to be stoic and distant or overly-responsible or placating and pacifying of their wives! That is not biblical, that is cultural. It's an unhealthy teaching that doesn't reflect Christ so much as it reflects the Pharisees, and it's messing otherwise healthy families up. So back to Genesis 3: God calls out to the man, and the man replies not with stoicism or self-degradation, saying, “God, I know I'm worthless, I know I need to be a better man and just, man up and measure up.” The man first responds to God here with vulnerability, saying, “I heard you, God, I knew you were present, and honestly, I was afraid. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my nakedness, and so I hid from Your presence.”And again, based on lots of teachings in the church, we would now expect God to deliver His wrath. But God doesn't. God moves in, and treats the man like a Father would. He asks questions, He's about to discipline, yet, but He engages the man and woman in a personal, relational way. “And He said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?'”Now he's being confronted for his actions. And this is where the guilt, shame, and blame come in. Because it can be hard to look at ourselves in light of a good, gracious, perfect, holy, powerful, loving Father. But it's hard to look at ourselves not because our Father is pointing a finger or has unrealistic expectations of us (He merely asked a question). It's because we feel the weight of our sin, and when we do, we turn inward on ourselves (shame) or we turn outward on others (blame). “The man said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me some of the fruit of the tree, and I ate.'Then the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this that you have done?'”Again, this is the God of the universe who is treating the woman, now, like a Father, and engaging her directly to get the full story (even though He already knows, can any parents relate?) “And the woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'”Imagine this. Imagine you have a son and daughter. Adam is your firstborn and Eve is your second-born. And you conceived (because you're human) and created little Adam and Eve in love, and so they bear your resemblance, and you've given every good thing you have to them. You've raised them on acres and acres of property, apple orchards and vineyards and orange groves that you are delighted for them to roam in and play in and eat from to their little hearts' content. Now these fruit groves are a result of your own work, the benefit of your labor, but just by being born into your family, they're heirs of what you created. And they're your kids, so you're pleased to have them delight in all that you've provided for them. The only thing you've instructed them not to do—for the sake of their lives and relationship with you—is eat the fruit from one single tree among thousands on your property. But in striking up a conversation with a snake on your property, what do they go and do? They eat from it. They disobey you. They question your judgment, your reasoning, they mistrust your heart for them, and they deny a thousand good gifts you've given them in exchange for something you know they can't handle. Okay, so if this were you, how would you be feeling? Maybe you've been here before with your own children. Does that scenario evoke feelings of frustration, disappointment, hurt? A desire to protect them from that stupid snake? Let's jump back into the story: “Then the LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you more than all the livestock, and more than any animal of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life; and I will make enemies of you and the woman, and of your offspring and her Descendant (that is, Jesus); He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise Him on the heel.”So before turning His attention to punish or curse or incur His wrath upon the man and woman, God curses the serpent. He deals with him first, letting him know that spiritually, there will come a day when Jesus is born and deals directly with the serpent and his demons, as well as make a way for the children of God to be redeemed and righted in their relationship with the Father. God so loved the world that the first three things He did after Adam and Eve sinned was talk to Adam and Eve about it, deal with the one who hurt and deceived His children, and promise to make a way through Jesus for His children to be reconciled to Him. Verse 16…“To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you shall deliver children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”Then to Adam, in verse 17:He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it'; cursed is the ground because of you; with hard labor you shall eat from it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; yet you shall eat the plants of the field; by the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, until you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”So, as a result of sin and the curses God gives, we immediately see the consequences for both women and men: for the woman, the hardship of her labor; for the man, the hardship of his labor; and for both, the challenge of oneness and intimacy. Remember, God told the couple back in Genesis 1:26, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the other creatures I created!” But the consequence of sin was that the woman would play her part in the creation mandates with difficulty—with pain in bearing children, with a heart that would tend to desire her husband's approval and lordship over God's. Likewise, the husband would play his part in the creation mandates with difficulty—with pain, sweat, and toil in his work, and with a heart that would tend to desire to rule over his wife instead of co-ruling over creation with her. Read the text. There's no hint of headship before the Fall; it's only introduced after the fall along with everything else we are still struggling with today as Christians in a fallen state and fallen world. Now, this is a marriage podcast, so I want to focus on the interpersonal couple dynamic for a second. In my practice, this is what I address: the sever in relational intimacy, issues of power imbalance, and desires that tend to move couples in unhealthy, dysfunctional directions—rather than to God first, and toward each other, second. This is another part that's interesting to me, and I first heard this come from Bruce C.E. Fleming, author of Made in Eden. God doesn't directly curse Adam, nor does He directly curse Eve. What He does is, He curses the serpent in response to Eve's confession and blaming of the serpent. And He curses the ground, in response to Adam's confession and blame of both God and Eve! So even though from the point of the Fall on, the man and woman lived under the curse, God still treated the actual man and woman with love, with protection, and with discipline, as a Father would his own children. This is consistent with the good, loving, just nature of God. Back to verse 20: “Now the man named his wife Eve, because she was the mother of all the living.And the LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them.Then the LORD God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out with his hand, and take fruit also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—therefore the LORD God sent him out of the Garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken.So He drove the man out; and at the east of the Garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.”So even after all this, God is still gracious, just as a loving parent would be. He clothes Adam and Eve. He provides for them. He delivers consequences, yes, but He makes a way for them to live. So here, we have the beginning of civilization as we know it, with Adam being instructed to cultivate the ground from which he was taken, and Adam and Eve co-partnering and co-parenting within the consequences of the Fall and their sin. And the rest of Genesis is a collection of stories about how good and gracious and unlike other gods, Yahweh is, and how dysfunctional families are as a result of sin, until in the midst of our broken and fallen state, God's grace and goodness intervenes. Now, I want to take you from Genesis…all the way to the last chapter of Revelation to see if you observe any parallels between the two depictions of the garden city. In chapter 22:1-3, John writes:“Then the Angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and His servants will serve Him.” So, remember that tree of life that God protected after creation? Well, here we see it again at the end of time, except this time, without any curse, with trees that consistently bear good fruit for healing, and with God's servants serving not themselves or their own agendas—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, or their boastful pride for life—but serving Him, as the throne of God and the Lamb dwell among God's servants in the garden city of God. So, if all 66 books of the Bible comprise this meta-narrative, the story of God and His desire to save us, to give us eternal life, and to be in relationship with us—not because He has needs like us, but just because He's a good Father—then where are we currently in that story, and what does that mean for our lives and relationships? Well, Jesus, the Son of God is the climax of this story. As we talked about last episode, the Son of God willingly took on flesh, dwelt among us, taught us how to live and how to die, becoming the substitutionary atonement for our sins, replacing the required animal sacrifices from the OT with Himself, the once and for all, redeeming Lamb of God. Jesus came not to nullify the Old Testament law, but to fulfill the Scriptures and show us the Spirit of the law. He taught us that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, mind, strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Then, He died, was resurrected, and ascended into heaven, leaving us with the Holy Spirit to empower us to live faithfully as His bride, the church. So as His Church, His body, His bride, we now live in this in-between state where Christ has come to redeem us, forgive us, and make a way for us to live in Him, as servants of Him, now, before He returns….but the end has not yet come. We still live in a world impacted by the curse and the consequences of sin, even as we live as believers with the Holy Spirit to empower us to live as Jesus showed us how to live, and as Jesus taught us to live. Which begs the question…how then shall we live? I had a really great conversation with Evan last night after giving a talk to college students on partnership in marriage, and Evan was saying, “you know, the picture God gave us for relationship before the Fall was loving Him and loving each other. Then the Fall happened. But what does God tell Moses, and what does Moses tell Israel? To love God and to love each other. And what does Jesus tell His disciples and followers to do? To love God and love each other. So the picture of Adam and Eve in the garden is what we, as Christ followers today, and as married couples in particular, should be aiming for in our relationships with one another.” And I wanted to share his thoughts with you because I couldn't have said it better myself. The whole story of Scripture illustrates our journey as humans toward the kingdom of God, and in a sense, back to the original state.In upcoming weeks, you'll hear from authors, pastors, and podcasters regarding their thoughts on Scripture, gender equality, and mutuality in marriage. All coming from different places and stages of life and marriage, and I can't wait for you to hear from them. So tune in next time, where I'll talk to a couple in ministry together, who will share some of their thoughts on what Scripture has to show us and on what God has to offer us through his designing us for co-leadership and mutual submission in marriage. Thanks, friends, for joining me today. You all know I'm passionate about teaching mutuality in marriage, and so if you've learned something new in this series, please, please hit the share link and text this to a friend. It would also mean a lot to me if you would take a quick second to rate and review the podcast. I spend hours on it each and every time and I'd be grateful for your feedback and letting others know if you enjoyed it. This has been episode 136 of the Brave Marriage Podcast. I'm your host, Kensi Duszynski. Podcast editing is by Evan Duszynski. And music is by John Tibbs. Have a great week, everyone, and I'll talk to you again soon.

JOY IS NOW
JOY IS NOW: WHY SCHOOL IS A BFD

JOY IS NOW

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2021 13:04


In this newest THEORY segment I discuss the significance of school. Not academically or educationally, but as a group and a system. I ponder why we tend to disregard the enormity of what school asks of us and how we can move forward with a better understanding of exactly what school is. This episode will expand your perspective for sure.   Give a listen, it's a good one.Thanks for being here.This has been JOY IS NOW with me, Lisa Anderson Shaffer, LMFT. You can find me for hire at LISAANDERSONSHAFFER.COM and join the patronage support for this podcast and my daily practice journal, THESE THREE THINGS at patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer. You can also follow along with my musings at @lisaandersonshaffer on Instagram.A special thanks to my affiliate friends at OSEA - the makers of clean seaweed skincare. Save 10% on your OSEA purchase with  code JOYISNOW10. A BIG high five to Graham, from the bookkeeping team at Bench. Graham keeps this business in tip top shape with his mathematical superpowers. Let Graham be your books avenger at Bench.JOY IS NOW is listener supported. When you buy through shared links, we may earn an affiliate commission.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/lisaandersonshaffer)

Moms Moving On: Navigating Divorce, Single Motherhood & Co-Parenting.
Healing from Betrayal and Learning to Trust Again After Divorce with Gilza Fort-Martinez, LMFT

Moms Moving On: Navigating Divorce, Single Motherhood & Co-Parenting.

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021 29:48


If you are not only processing the pain of divorce but also reeling from the pain of betrayal after divorce, you might be feeling like learning to trust again after divorce and infidelity is an uphill battle. This is why I consulted with Miami-based marriage and family therapist Gilza Fort-Martinez, on her strategies for helping clients overcome trust issues after an affair. "Betrayal is a loss. It's a grieving process that happens from being hit with something that was very often unexpected, Gilza Fort-Martinez says. "Most of the time, people are somewhat blindsided." But there IS hope, Gilza shares, and she also shares her tips for how to feel hopeful again after a divorce that ended because of a betrayal, too. A graduate of University of Miami, Gilza is the founder and CEO of Resolution Counseling Center, a private practice in Miami, Florida. Her passion for helping individuals improve their lives drives her to continuously find ways to reach the community, which is why when she's not working directly with individuals and couples, she can be found leading a workshop or lecturing on a wide range of topics including stress management, building intimacy, improving communication effectiveness, infidelity and forgiveness, and navigating life transitions Follow Gilza on Instagram, here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices