Trouble Planet Podcast

Boy oh Boy, after taking off more than a year we're back. This is mostly Kyle's fault, as this episode has been sitting on the hard drives since 2018! Holy shit.  You wouldn't guess it though, time is truly a flat circle. Only a few things give away the time disparity, and that is we are talking about old failures of Keith. If you keep up with the YouTube show, you'd know that Keith is no longer in Boston, but now confined to Florida. So his parents are not truly as disappointed as they once were.  We talk about a dead script about Dracula this time. Enjoy!

Money Hell, incipient failure redux, thousands of Achewood references, nerve tonic, Nick calls Keith a goofball, Kyle earnestly researches how to make someone a ward of the state. Revenge of Dick Turnip: Telemonsters an oddly prophetic autobiographical skit about phone-powered beings of darkness.   Kyle abortive second script idea really terminates the episode on a new nadir threshold

An austere, godless sky, the elegiac tatters of a world that once knew hope but will no longer, only charred desolation to greet the eye for as far as one might care to look if only their gaze would be rent from the teeming doom written in the very soil, blighted and forskaen by the processes of life. Above it all, the telltale insignia of man’s own decisive vindication of his eviction from the Garden: It reads, simply, ‘Marge for President.’   The fellows muse once again on Keith’s impending and uncertain fate, where once a human soul did stir and yearn for warmth, now there is naught but a receding hall of mirrors, at center of which is a sepulcher-like recess in which is found only a melting simulacrum of humanity. It cannot bear your touch, so don’t even try. After that, most of the rest of the episode languishes in the depths of an interminable discussion about insects and the cruel pranks of nature which their existence constitutes. The term “semen icepick” is evoked. Kyle later has occasion to regale us with the sordid account of a Florida man’s brush with genius. He also has occasion to boat about his call to The Dick Show and his most public sharing of a horrific fun fact to date.   As for this month’s mummified script: Nick takes us through the febrile ramblings of a script meant to be a one year anniversary video for Mom, Can I Have Another Dollar? It, as is so typical of Trouble Planet scripts, leads to an all-consuming conflagration and a casual suicide attempt.

We marshall the extent of our literary reference library to bring you the clearest possible articulation of our narrative approach, best summed up as being akin to a sort of despairing anti-Bob Ross making a portrait of “sad big trees” within our “cycles within cycles” narrative structure. In time hopefully there will be hours-long tedious exegesis on the artful approach to wrongness that we are herein pioneering.   Keith’s incipient movie making career may already be showing signs of terminal decline! Kyle sold his cameras for food scraps! And Nick is so preoccupied with dishes that he can’t easily produce footage for our (still not abandoned!) Maximum Bad “pilot.” Beats being compared to a tarantula hawk!   After a brief update on the ongoing ignominy that is Maximum Bad, we move on to this month’s abandoned idea baby: A bleak bit of gallows comedy called Apocalypse Calendar. How would Kyle and Nick cope with a world where food is scarcer than pornographic calendars?! The answer will surprise nobody.

Originally recorded March 2018 As you might be able to surmise through the powers of basic critical thinking, this podcast is not being aired live. However, Kyle did discover some interesting geographical tidbits, and Keith burrowed out of the earth like the cicada arising after years of slumber to provide even further excessive insight into the the game of Dick Slap© that is our collective human culture. We find that The Industry has been kind to our boys, if only to deeper sink in the hooks of a long con.Speaking of the successful production of visual media, we land on another abortive project which the Trouble Planet gang will likely never be able to see through to fruition: police trying to put the legal screws to an uncooperative magician. Hear all their “woe is me” caterwauling on this installment of the Trouble Planet Podcast!

Originally recorded in March 2018   In this Episode 14, Keith is recording indoors for a change of pace, and has someone who is interrupting him every so often. It does lead us into interesting avenues of comedy that we don't explore very often. That is, listening to the sound effect suggestions on Keith's behalf. We kind of go nuts with the concept, so be prepared to not hear this extent of craziness ever again.   

Originally recorded January 2018 We tried to generate filler content for in-between our let’s play sessions. ‘Tried’ being the operative word. Also… ‘tired.’ The other operative word for the month is “fuckboy.” This month’s script is an unused “tour of my brain” parody video, as well as a thing about cowboys murdering one another over a long span of time.

Originally recorded December 2017 Good answers for trivia nights, Kyle gets booed, and a bunch of subaverage white guys boo hoo about net neutrality going away. Thank god for evergreen topics. Speaking of evergreens, this very special Christmas-themed episode features a whole grab bag of forgotten script goodies! A white elephant party gone wrong, ill-gotten pancake dinner, and other surely well-advised comedy veins are mined and bled dry in this episode. Also features a prolonged musical break where Kyle sings that one song from Hocus Pocus. Why? WHOOOOOOO THE FUCK KNOWS!

Originally from November 2017 I can’t begin to explain why the minute long cold open sounds like tremulous sobs emanating from a stygian pit in the nadir of the underworld. It might have something to do with Keith having retreated from Los Angeles county and having to record shit over the wifi in a national park. What a moron. Truly the second act of this real life drama is summoning every form of opposition possible, as not one but two of our indolent co-hosts has a wedding related travail to relate details of. The phrase “well-dressed mass grave” comes up multiple times.

Originally from October 2017 An extra spooky episode to herald the extra spooky time of the year- quarter four tax due date. Oh yeah! This is the episode from that month Youtube decided for reasons as yet not understood to delete every last fucking atom of evidence that Trouble Planet ever existed. Fortunately, this adverse scenario remedied itself a few months later, also for no real reason. But this recording dates from those Troubled Times, so listen up for some anachronistic grousing about that. This month’s script is our stymied ‘Nick Versus’ series. A few episodes actually got made, albeit with some miscommunication in the birthing process, but a whole bunch more are consigned forever to the Idea Zone. Check out, as always, what might have been! And strap in and try not to bite  through your cheek at the barrage of “like”!

Originally recorded in September 2017 Hahahaha, Kyle moved to Florida and now the weather almost killed him! Hahahahaaaaaa This episode required a do-over because the first draft amounted to nothing more than an hour long uninterrupted opprobrium against Keith for sealing Trouble Planet’s fate with his desperate bid to start life anew on the west coast. Such was Kyle’s wrath that not a single other topic could find purchase on the rain-slick, storm-filled dyson sphere of his mind. Fortunately it seems to have had a cathartic effect because this draft fared much better, with only a few dalliances with renewed vituperation to pose mortal harm to our topic. That being, by the way, a sketch so mercilessly inadvisable we decided to redact the title. Also: the first intimations of our eldritch country album! Let’s see where that ever goes!

Originally recorded in August 2017 A delightful new aphorism is coined. Keith is officially consigned to Los Angeles county. And, as always, we Patreon Alone. Stay tuned in for warrantless self congratulation over the making of the “Cicada’s Call” inter-session mini short. This is actually a re-recording, as there was not only a critical fuck-up on behalf of Keith, but Kyle damn near ruined the episode by verbally assaulting Keith over his poor life choices. It was just about as fun to listen to as having your parents yell at you, because you wouldn't finish your dinner. 

Originally recorded in July 2017 Having successfully got Madcucks to appear on the let’s play, the gang spend about five hours of mic time patting themselves on the dick, save for Nick, who continues to be awash in bafflement and a vague sense of discomfort, as well he might. A one-off joke from a recent remote session gets brought up again, for some reason, and the episode concludes with a sort of fanfic about spousal abuse running rampant in the town of Bedrock. Good God, this is not a good podcast. (We’re still getting the title of the show wrong, let the record show.)

Originally from June 2017 This month’s episode has Kyle plumbing some elegiac depths in a futile quest for meaning, while Keith revels in the prospect of getting master satirist Madcucks to take us up on an anachronistic Street Fighter challenge. Later, we showcase the massively disorganized speculative outline of a fairly low-concept comedy sketch wherein a pantheon of Pagan gods treat the whole of earthly existence as a sort of private Battlebots arena. Keith also makes the fateful statement of intent to move to Los Angeles. (Uh-oh.) Lots going on this month, I guess.

Originally recorded in May 2017 Sealed in a hot, dark space, Kyle screams for no discernable reason. His sweaty visage assails and tremulous cries into the muted void offend the sensibilities of man and God as he sets about Marking his every sin in a permanent chronicle, to be shared with an unwilling world via invisible beacons. Separately, he sets his designs on recording a podcast! And at the conclusion of such designs do we find ourselves situated here today. Today’s episode is all about those largely abortive live-action bits that serve as wrap-arounds to our Let’s Play show. Let it be observed that we do, in defiance of all evidence, exhibit occasional paroxysms of ambition. In our heart’s deepest, most tenebrous recesses congeal the inclination to make needlessly complex exhibits of basic filmmaking; however, circumstances and a dearth of competence hold us back. Maybe some day we can make something other than bizarre, abstract and wholly unnecessary prologues to playlists of arcade short plays. Until then though! Also featured in this episode: an explanation (of sorts) for the inexplicable trip to Antarctica that Kyle took some sessions back. (The vacation slides from this financially ruinous misadventure, by the way, occupy to this day a bizarrely prominent spot on our Youtube playlist directory.) Hear us also ruminate on ways in which Nick’s personhood is most aptly compared to the ceaseless ravages of nature. Also! Five months in, we finally canonize the fucking title of the podcast. I can just feel that Patreon money SURGING FORTH!

(Originally recorded in May 2017) Believe it or not, we managed to con (get it?) our way into doing panels at a convention once. Nick and Kyle only, of course, because we only had two invitations, and because Keith was busy typing out his virulent anti-fiat manifesto on a decrepit variable typewriter in a spooky unabomber shack in the depths of Maine. Being that we start this episode off mentioning “feigning competence,” I have to guess this is from the month where we (briefly) tried our hand at a semi-monthly format, a level of effort we very quickly came to realize was beyond our capacity to ever sutain. Anyway, this explains why there’s one extra podcast! Witness the snapshot of our one short-lived dalliance with Capability as we continue to unapologetically flaunt our inconsistency like a warding charm against criticism.

Originally recorded in April 2017 At the nadir of our lives, we spent time facilitating throwback music concerts and inventing novelty cocktails by working backwards from mildly amusing titles. Nick also seems to be having some kind of trouble! Listen in closely, but not too closely or you may lose your hearing.

Hey, our first attempt at cobbling together a sort of remote recording setup resulted in some not-great audio. Truly our amateur ignominy shines through with this one, through that fact and the one where we TALK ABOUT WORKING FOR FUCKING RIDESHARING COMPANIES FOR 59 MINUTES. Don’t worry, if you skip along to the later half of the episode you get to a pretty well-conceived outline for a one-off short that never got made (you will note this to be a recurring theme on this show.? It involved defaming one of our nation’s greatest statesmen and a fiendish intimated ending for our beleaguered former animator. Maybe this explains why he isn’t working here no more!

Whoa, we're putting our podcast out, and we're starting with episode 14? What is wrong with us? Well, we're starting the podcast with the most recent information pertaining to what we're doing these days. MCIHAD is going on hiatus for a little bit, and here's a bit of an explanation for you.  We talk about what's going on with MCIHAD, and we talk abut what's in the future for Trouble Planet, and hint a bit at our up coming stuff "Maximum Bad". Then we talk about an old failed script idea "Hypnotized to Honk". Maybe we can actually start making some of these scripts since we're on a little break from MCIHAD? Probably not. It was doomed for a reason.