Diamonds for Our Children

And then, then the music in my head stopped and everything went silent. In the rearview, I looked past your little ponytail to see a mini van hurtling over the center line…. Join me this week to hear the rest of the story and celebrate the finale of DOC's first season. I'll be wrapping our first season with some thoughts for retreat, some resources for pause, a poetry reading, and a FUN announcement! You don't want to miss this one!

This week DOC hosts Sr Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, for a conversation full of love and healing. We discuss spiritual motherhood, authentic Catholic femininity, and living a life of tender mercy. This conversation will have you in all of the motherhood feels.

This week I speak with Rebecca Field about radical love, journeying to motherhood through the foster care system, academic motherhood, and carving a third way through tender mercy. Bec affirms that living a combined vocation as professional AND mother expresses a deeply empowered feminism. Join us for an amazing conversation that reminds us that motherhood comes in many different forms, and all of them express true love.

This week, we add our voices to raise awareness for Black Maternal Health Week and to honor Black motherhood. DOC is joined in conversation by Cessilye R. Smith, founder and executive director of Abide Women's Health Services in Dallas, TX. Inspired by Smith's commitment to “living in the gray,” we discuss what it means to be countercultural and how we must all resist systemic injustice and oppression by rejecting false categories and affirming the deep human dignity of every person. This is a powerful, vulnerable conversation with someone I deeply admire. Don't miss it!

This week we welcome Carolina Allen of Big Ocean Women to talk about maternal feminism and empowered motherhood. In founding Big Ocean Women, Carolina sought “to gather women and create pockets of light and safety all over the world.” The mission of Big Ocean Women, which we'll talk about together today, sets this vision into motion in the most beautiful, organic, and dignified way. One of my favorite saints, Edith Stein, or Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, whose philosophy is settled deep within my heart, once said, "The world does not need what women have, it needs what women are." And I think today's conversation with Carolina Allen affirms this point. Our dignity as women, and our contribution to the success of the world, does not depend on what we can produce, how we can contribute to capital, what we can own. These are all secondary to what we are. And what are we? In all the diverse capacities we choose to live it out, we are life-givers. If you're giving life to your children (biological or not) or to your colleagues, or to your friends, or to the strangers around you, then at least in some small way you are living the power of femininity. And yes, it is power. It is the power of love in a person's life, however you show it, that sticks. I can't wait for you to hear more about this from Carolina Allen, founder of Big Ocean Women.

The systems of the holobiont do not calculate the costs of survival; they simply do the work that is in front of them. Of course these thousands of organisms do not feel they are loving in doing what they do. Nevertheless, they reflect the love with which we are to act, that is, they give of themselves without regard to the worthiness of their beneficiary. The mystic, monk, and scholar Thomas Merton makes a similar argument: "Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody's business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy if anything can." Indeed, love, in this world, is always a mercy, a gift offered from the self for the sake of the other, and not a reward for good behavior. Still more, this love is a necessity for daily living, like water and food. Feed the hungry, with your love, dear one. Make your life a series of tender mercies.

I have often referred to carving a "third way" on this podcast; since I was very young I've tried very hard to live authentically and have so often felt unable to do so within the systems around me. This has been especially true politically because, as a Catholic, I consider my final allegiance to God and His Church. Of course, I'm a law abiding, tax-paying citizen of the United States, and I do not take for granted the privilege and freedom that comes with that. Still, I have felt constrained and disempowered by the American political system ever since I was too young to vote, because there was no party to which I could belong that upheld the values consistent with my faith. Now, I thought quite hard about whether to quote/unquote "make this podcast political," but I quote Jonathan Lee Walton in Episode 5, saying, "one can't make moral claims that don't have political implications," and that's where I think I land when I consider whether to discuss politics in our time together. If you want to know more about where I'm coming from in terms of politics, listen to Episode 5 from this season. This week's episode fills in a bit of the picture I sketched there: my guest, Destiny Herndon de la Rosa and I discuss a "third way" in terms of pro-life politics and what it means to ascribe to a consistent life ethic. And with Destiny's organization, New Wave Feminists, I think I've found a place to fit in, politically. A content warning for this episode: in this conversation, we mention sexual assault, teen pregnancy, and abortion. If you're not in danger of being triggered by these topics, join us to consider a "third way" of thinking about the pro-life cause, immigration, and the development of a nonviolent culture of life.

As St. Thomas Aquinas said, “Amicus alter ego est”: the friend is another self. This week, I am joined by my friend, Beth Anderson, a fellow mother, scholar, and sister in faith. We talk about her scholarly work on the art of friendship, the beauty of intersubjectivity, and non-competitive love for the other. We also explore the heart of the mother-scholar, and Dante's Divine Comedy. You don't want to miss this light hearted exchange between two deep friends.

In the summer of 2016, when you were very small, we took you hiking almost every weekend. The youngest one was only a few months old, so dad and I took turns with the backpack. We took you to a new trail each time, and over the course of the summer, the Oregon landscape welcomed you from the Volcanos outside of Bend to the haystack rocks of the central coast. We only partially knew how good it would be for you, and for us.

In the second half of my conversation with my sweet sister, Karlene Kantner, we pick up our reflections, this time talking about imagination and its relationship to the themes we discussed last week. Karlene beautifully reads and analyzes a rarely appreciated poem and, weaving the threads of our whole conversation together, Karlene and I work to articulate a "third way" of being that accounts for a fullness of dignity and a more just society. Grab a cup of coffee. We're talkin' about a revolution of love. One of my favorite things about my conversation with Karlene is the natural love she models for others, whether they be people, animals, or the natural world. She has a way of relating to people that I might call "anti-defensiveness": her relationships are an intentional practice and she treats people beginning, not with skepticism or transaction, but with deep love and respect. My conversation with Karlene treats love as the foundation of human interaction, which is something we can all learn from.

This week we diverge from our regular method, and I welcome a an incredibly special person to talk with me about the themes of this project. This is part one of our conversation. We spoke, as we must during a pandemic, over the phone, about what it means to mother when you don't have biological children of your own. We also explore themes of intention and potential, unlearning efficiency, and a concept she terms "self-attachment." Karlene Kantner is a master of mindfulness; it's an approach she takes to every person and every thing she encounters. She may be my younger sister, but I look up to her every day. Savor this one with me, dear listener, and be sure to catch the second half of our reflections next week.

In this episode, I share with you a few of the guiding questions that provide a foundation for this podcast and for the mission of my motherhood. My little ones ask the questions and I respond. The answers I offer here may help you understand my approach to motherhood, my world-view, and my mission.

In our quest to know everything, humans forget too much. Dr. Stuart-Smith's discussion of the brain's neuronal pathways--those named dendrites for their resemblance to trees--reminds us that we are natural, created beings.

I'll start by telling you something about your Oma. The stories of children are the stories of their mothers.

Introducing the Diamonds for Our Children Podcast, a public humanities project and motherhood ministry hosted by Dr. Katie Jo LaRiviere. Each episode is a facet of the diamond of motherhood, and each contributes to a unified love that reflects light back onto the world. Join me for new episodes every Monday. Launching January 25, 2021. Find more information on the DOC website and become a Patreon member for even more love!