Lightblub Moments // Better relationships with Steve Sutton, LCSW

Having a likeness for things to be a certain way is human nature but how do you share those desires with your partner?  In this episode of Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how we often mix up personal predilection with our beliefs of right and wrong.  To  be in a respectful partnership, each member must take responsibility for their own desires and learn to negotiate.  There is no one correct way of doing things, just personal preferences.If you have any comments or questions about this or previous episodes of Lightbulb Moments, please contact info@bettermanprojects.com or visit our website at Bettermanprojects.com.

How do you connect or form bonds with friends or people you admire? There are many different ways to pursue this and we are going to talk on one way in particular, complaining. Complaining about others is the junk food of connection.  It's a shortcut to bonding and it creates a sense of in group but has unintended consequences and often hurts others.  In this episode of Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how to catch yourself in the act and talks about why junk food can cause harm in your attempt to building stronger connections. If you have any questions or comments about Lightbulb Moments, you can connect with us at Bettermanprojects.com or at info@bettermanprojects.com.

Do you often say YES when you really want to say NO? Do you try and avoid a conversation so not to disappoint?To avoid resentment, it's important to learn how to express your preferences with the important people in your life.  When you hide yourself, resentment begins to build and it is often comes out sideways, a way you may deeply regret.In this week's episode of Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how to navigate challenging requests without building resentment. If you have any comments or questions, let us know. You can reach us at info@bettermanprojects.com or bettermanprojects.com. 

In this episode of LightBulb Moments, Steve talks about how we can easily convince ourselves that conversations won't go well with our partner so we tend to avoid them altogether in hopes of not getting into a fight. This can be problematic. He explains how we can start small and learn how to open ourselves up and share what matters to us.If you would like to reach us with comments or questions, please contact info@bettermanprojects.com or our website at Bettermanprojects.com. 

Surprisingly, telling other people how you want to feel can backfire. This week, Steve talks about a more reliable way to lead you and your partner to a higher quality conversation than focusing on what the two of you wish to feel. Learn how to take your connection beyond talking about what you don't like and how you wish you felt.If you have any questions or comments, please reach out to us at info@bettermanprojects.com or Bettermanprojects.com.

Power struggles happen and when they do, are you brave enough to take the first risk?Taking a risk in the relationship can offer a big reward but it requires taking leadership in the midst of conversation gridlock.  In this episode, Steve continues to discuss the topic of how to elevate your conversations and this week the focus is on taking risks even when you have no assurance of getting the outcomes you want.If you like what you are hearing with Lightbulb MOments or have any questions, please reach out at info@bettermanprojedts.com or bettermanprojects.com. You can also find us on Instagram and Facebook.

Are you in a conversation rut, always have the same old argument with no resolution? In our last episode 15, the first part of our Leveling Up your conversation series,  Steve spoke about the role blame can play in the degradation of our conversations. In this episode, he is going to take you through a new practice that will help you leave that same old, dead-end argument behind.   To have a better conversation, shift from talking about the other person and start focusing on you - what do you really  want?  If you enjoyed this podcast or have any questions, please reach out at info@bettermanprojects.com or visit us at Bettermanprojects.com. 

Do you find yourself stuck in right or wrong thinking patterns?  In this week's episode, Steve talks about how to elevate your conversations and how to move out of conversations stuck on figuring out who is right and who is wrong. He describes two tools you can use to retrain your brain to begin working through the arguments without getting stuck laying blame.If you would like to know more about Better Man Projects, have any questions, or comments for Steve, please reach out at info@bettermanprojects.com; bettermanprojects.com; or on Instagram at bettermanprojects. 

Do you often find that you and your partner are having the same fight over and over again?  Stuck in low quality conversation patterns?  If so, you are not alone. In this week's episode of Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how to identify if you are stuck in a low quality conversation. Below are four ways to identify why this might be happening and what you can do to change it. 4 Common Ways You Might Be in A Low Quality Conversation*The focus of the disagreement is on your partner's behavior.  You may notice that conversations can focus on trying to convince your partner of what they're doing wrong. What typically happens, is we are met with defensiveness.  It's now a debate and not a connection. *The argument is full of blame.  If you would be different, this relationship would improve. Low quality conversations are often debates about who is doing something wrong.*You have the same argument many times. You fall in the same old ruts in the conversation. You find that similar points have been made.  Your partner's responses are familiar and repetitive.*You try to Identify who is right and who is wrong. Trying to convince your partner in the conversation that you are right. The argument becomes a power struggle, trying to identify who will receive validation.This week, take a few moments and be on the lookout - pay attention to your conversations.  If you find you are having low quality conversation, stay tuned to find out how to get out of that pattern. To get in touch with use or if you have any question, please contact info@bettermanprojects.com; bettermanprojects.com; on Instagram at Bettermanprojects

Do you ever start to feel overwhelmed when your partner is venting?  In this week's episode of BMP's Lightbulb Moments, learn the power to demonstrate in conversation that you see and notice your partner.  Steve talks about a few ways to get out of the old, low quality, conversations that occur when your partner is complaining. This episode will give you some easy tools to let the pressure out of challenging conversations. If you have any questions or comments, please reach out to us at info@bettermanprojects.com; bettermanprojects.com; @bettermanprojects

This week's episode of Lightblub Moments is part 2 of our Listening Series.   Reflective listening focuses attention on identifying what the other person has communicated and reflecting back to them what it sounds like they may want. It not only improves your communication but it also sends a message of acknowledgement. Steve talks about how this small daily practice can transform your relationships. Using reflective listening on small daily conversations can build in a habit of the practice so when a more challenging conversation occurs you have built up a strong muscle for when you really need it.Please reach out if you have any questions or comments. You can reach us at info@bettermanprojects.com; bettermanprojects.com; @bettermanprojects

When your partner comes to you with a question or a concern, how do you best support and connect with them? When they're stressed and venting, how can you partner effectively with them? In this week's episode of Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how to navigate these situations intentionally and powerfully.Find out how you can best connect with your partner by asking yourself the question: does my partner need support or a challenge? Try it on! Do you like what you are hearing in this podcast or have some questions. Please reach out to us at info@bettermanprojects.com or Bettermanprojects.com and follow us on social media at @bettermanprojects.

Do you share the new approaches to conversation from Lightbulb moments with your partner? This week we cover a simple effective technique for starting better conversations.In this week's episode, learn to stay composed during high stakes conversations and how to develop some structure to simplify navigating difficult topics.Do you like what you are hearing in this podcast or have some questions. Please reach out to us at info@bettermanprojects.com or Bettermanprojects.com and follow us on social media at @bettermanprojects.

In this week's episode of BMP's Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how to make space for your partner to hear you and for you to see your partner. To reduce the pressure on your relationship when it's time to initiate a conversation that matters, he offers tips on how to help your partner consider your point of view and to increase the likelihood you see one another's perspective.Enjoy! Let us know what you think of Lightbulb Moments at info@bettermanprojects.comContact us:bettermanprojects.com@bettermanprojectsinfo@bettermanprojects.com

In this week's episode, BMP Lightbulb moments focuses on the magic questions. The questions aren't really magic, but they're so powerful it feels that way!If you're telling yourself that there's no way out of a situation you don't like, begin with these magic questions. Stop wasting your time and energy analyzing what isn't working. Begin here to learn how to move things forward in a way you prefer!To learn more or if you have additional questions, you can reach out to:info@bettermanprojects.com, bettermanprojects.com, @bettermanprojects

In this week's episode of BMP Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how part of loving someone is also saying, “I want you to influence me."  It's a way of finding out who they are and what is important to them. When you find out your partner doesn't want what you want, there are things you can do to build from there! Do not hide from the present situation or disagreement, learn how to navigate it and explore the potential of the relationship. Learning to influence one another in a positive way is cause for celebration. To contact Better Man Projects:info@bettermanprojects.comBettermanprojects.com@bettermanprojects.com

In this week's episode, Steve talks about letting go of blame. It's the 6 pillar of building better relationships and high quality conversations.In most relationships, blame is a part of what you're bringing into your conversations that isn't working.  Continuing to believe that if your partner was just different, then your life would be better is a great way to find yourself in the same tired old argument. In conversation, when you share and focus first on yourself, you create space for your partner to join you in building a better relationship. It's time to let go of the blame. This episode will give you tools to do just that.To contact Better Man Projects or Steve Sutton, LCSWinfo@bettermanprojects.comBettermanprojects.com@bettermanprojects

In this week's episode, Steve talks about stating things in the affirmative or saying what you want versus what you don't want.In conversation, most of us speak to our partners in the negative. Talking about things we don't like or things we want our partner to stop doing. Let's try something different and speak in the affirmative. Talking about what we want decreases defensiveness in your partner and can move your relationship in an awesome direction.To contact us:info@bettermanprojects.comInstagram and Facebook @bettermanprojectsBettermanprojects.com

In this week's episode of BMP's Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about the importance of openness and honesty with your partner in order to build and sustain strong relationships.If you intend to have high quality conversations with the people in your life, you want them to feel comfortable when talking about serious issues.  It's critical that you can share yourself openly -- express who you are and what you really want.  Lean into the idea of honesty always and openness to the extent you wish to be close.For more information about Better Man Projects, contact us at:info@bettermanprojects.com@bettermanprojectsBettermanprojects.com

In this episode of BMP Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about how better relationships start with knowing yourself and what matters to you. Your vision of what you want is a critical ingredient to having a shot to create it with your partner. It's not good enough to just know what you don't like -- you'll have to be able to say what you want.For more information about BMP, visit www.bettermanprojects.com. 

In this episode of BMP Lightbulb Moments, Steve talks about another bedrock principle for creating better relationships -- strong connections.  He dives in on the components to building these stronger connections with people in your life.   To do this, these five areas must be present: Mutual pursuit, investment and engagement in one another, mutual curiosity, safety and belonging, and sensation of warmth and attention.In addition to these components, people who want strong connections also have a desire to be influenced by one another. Partners (which is defined in the episode) need to rekindle or create a desire to feel safe and cared for when sharing personal thoughts and feelings.  When we don't feel safe, we lose our connections.Connect with us at bettermanprojects.com or info@bettermanprojects.com. We are on Instagram @bettermanprojects and Facebook Better Man Projects. 

One of the bedrock concepts of the Lightbulb Moments podcast is discussing how to start high quality conversations with the most important people in our lives.  A high quality conversation is a respectful exchange of ideas through dialogue. On this first episode, Steve talks about how to become aware of starting a conversation, how to start paying attention to the connection in the exchanges, and how to effectively listen and share ideas.To find out more about how to connect to Better Man Projects:www.Bettermanprojects.cominfo@bettermanprojects.com

Welcome to the introduction episode of Lightbulb Moments // Better Relationships with Steve Sutton, LCSW. Steve has been in private practice for over ten years as a licensed mental health professional. He works with couples as well as men both individually and in groups.  Throughout his professional career, Steve has heard from clients all over the world who desire to build strong relationships but often run into roadblocks on trying to successfully achieve them.  He has found that sometimes we need a lightbulb moment to re-ignite the important relationships in our lives.  Listen to Lightblub Moment often as it will be a series of short podcasts focused on principles for achieving better communication for stronger relationships. Check us out:www.bettermanprojects.cominfo@bettermanprojects.com